#AND I CANT REARRANGE TAGS ON MY PHONE NO MORE

[micamone]

i dont think we shoulda got rid of thiz post editor, every time i open a post and it still lets me edit in this version im filled with peace. i could edit the tags before they rolled that shit out on desktop, untill they rolled it back on here. fuckers

[tojikai]

Sundered (Alt. Ending): CRUSH

Pairing: Gojo x reader - Toji x reader (this part)

• Part 1  |  Part 2   | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Alt. Ending

Sundered+ (COMMISSION)

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments

word count: 5.8k

a/n: here it is! (it's late, sorry. not proofread too😭) im forever grateful to you all who waited and supported the sundered series and for supporting my other stories too. i cant do much but this means so much. ily.

If you never talk to him again, he will miss you forever.

“Do I not deserve it?” You asked him, almost flinching at your words when you promised yourself you’d never ask anyone that. Toji sighed, taking both of your hands and bringing them to his lips. “Not this. You deserve more than this. You deserve to be genuinely happy without sacrificing anything, without feeling spent.”

Your brows furrowed, trying to contain another flood of tears threatening to overflow from your already swollen eyes. Why does it always have to be so hard when it's you? When it was Satoru who tried to move on, he did with Naomi. You wouldn’t say it was a breeze for them but you just know it was never this hard.

Naomi and Satoru stayed together for a year, being the family you couldn’t give your child. And now you, you couldn’t even make it work with Toji. Why do you always have to feel stuck? Why does he refuse to take your hand and pull you out of this void that is slowly sucking you down?

Along with these thoughts, you felt a squeeze in your hand. “Y/N?” Toji called, “Y/N, it’s gonna be alright.”  No, it’s not, you thought. The roof of your mouth tastes bitter against your tongue; so bitter that it burns. “It’s not. But it’s alright. I just don’t want you to feel burdened with this, alright?” You reached up to his face, eyes wandering.

“I’m sorry.” You felt selfish. You felt so selfish for not thinking about how this void of yours could pull him down with you instead of him pulling you up. You felt so selfish for wanting him to keep hurting just so you could feel safe. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this, I didn’t realize it would be this hard on you too.” Your throat feels tight all of a sudden.

You stepped away from him, sniffing as you wiped your tears away. You couldn’t remember what else he said, you couldn't remember how you ended up in that room alone, crying as you clutched your chest, blaming yourself for wearing out such a good man.

You couldn’t remember, or more like you chose not to carve into your memory how that day ended. The only image you can see in your head is how he cuddled you to sleep, woke you up to eat with him and the kids, and went home. You remember him saying that they could always visit. And you hated yourself for doubting him.

Now you smooth out the bed, rearranging the pillows and gaslighting yourself that you’ve been the only one sleeping on it all this time just so it wouldn't feel so unfamiliar. You changed the sheets and prayed you wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night, reaching for the man you love. 

And the fact that this wouldn’t be the first time that you would do so…

You remembered how you would wake up and break down at midnights during the first few months of your separation from Satoru, weeping as you ran to your daughter’s crib just to remind yourself to be stronger, locking your phone away to not call and embarrass yourself in front of him and his then-new girlfriend again.

You heard the sound of the video your daughter was watching as she sat on the bean bag in the corner of your room. “Mama, look it.” You heard her tiny footsteps tap the floor as she ran to you, holding the phone out. The screen flashed with Toji’s caller ID, “Thank you, baby.” You kissed her cheek as you picked her up to sit her on your lap. 

“Yeah?,” You answered, hearing a sigh from the other end. You pulled your toddler closer to you just as she started to move near the edge of the bed. You that your voice didn’t sound hoarse at all. You didn’t cry as hard as you did with Satoru, but it was painful enough that you had to pause some chores just so you could think of a solution to fix it. 

You doubted there was a fix and if there was, you felt like Toji would only be trying out of pity for you.

You’re tired of that. You don’t want people to feel sorry for you anymore. You feel like you’ve been nothing but pitiful every year of your life. Your dad gave up on you and your mother, your baby daddy gave up on your relationship with him and now you feel like you caused Toji to give up on you too. 

Your brows bumped together at the thoughts and you were quick to shake your head, hoping it would shed off the searing pain in your chest as well. You can't have self-pity when you have a child. You’re determined to be better for her. Your index finger found its place on your lips, listening to your ex’s voice.

“Just wanna know how you’re doing.” You wanted to laugh, not to mock him but because you don’t really know how to explain how you feel to him. You decided to answer it from the surface, “I am okay, surprisingly.” You sniffed, hearing a sigh from the other end of the line and a tiny laugh from Megumi, probably watching something on his iPad. 

You would say it’s too early for him to call you, but this whole breakup isn’t even like the normal ones. You broke up for each other's well-being. Not because you fought, not because one of you cheated, not because you just started to hate each other. You broke up wanting only the best for each other.

“I know this is for the best.” You wanted to help Toji feel better about this decision. You could tell that there was guilt on his part. He probably feels like what he did was just an inch kinder than Satoru’s way of leaving you. That would eat him inside. The last thing Toji wants to do is shatter all your progress.

“I don’t feel the best about it.” There was no hint of amusement in his chuckle, no trace of smile in his words. You don’t even know if he meant to say he feels bad for doing this to you. You don’t want to assume that he’s not doing better away from you because you’re pretty sure he’s more relaxed now that he doesn’t have to worry about his girlfriend thinking of someone even when she’s with him. 

“Please, don’t dwell on it. I, uh, I have thought things through and it’s… it’s just getting kind of lighter for me.” You blinked away each tear that came with the lies that are flowing out of your tongue. It’s not getting any lighter. If anything, the crushing weight is still continuously pressing down on you and you know any time soon, you might break down in this phone call.

“I don’t know if I can trust your words…” Aside from the fact that it has only been a day, Toji thought back on your last conversation before you broke up. He’s well-aware of your tendencies to push all of your feelings aside  because you blame yourself for the fall of your relationship. You would probably shoulder all of this again, like you did with your separation from Satoru.

Toji isn’t all clean here but he doesn’t know how to get that to you. You can be very stubborn when it comes to these things especially when it concerns your past. It’s an unhealed part of you and Toji can’t help but feel like your previous arguments, his words to 

you and how he made you feel contributed to it rather than alleviate it.

“Toji, this isn't good for me. For us,” You’re not talking about your relationship with him but it’s about him contacting you. “I know that we’re still good, we broke up to save each other,” you laughed half-heartedly, “Our kids are friends, of course, we can’t just throw that away, but for now…” You took a deep breath.

“For now, let’s give each other space. I’m not mad at you, I could never hate you but, Toji, this isn’t helping me at all.” The crack in your voice sent a blow to Toji’s heart, “I…I want to be able to talk to you, see you and visit Megumi with Yui without feeling the guilt of letting something so good slip away so, please...” You took a deep, painful breath.

“Let’s just give each other some space. Just until I have picked myself up again.” You covered your mouth, desperate to turn away from your child who’s been starting to glance at you. Toji’s silence felt like it could squeeze you, like a soundless bubble getting smaller and smaller around you. 

“I’m sorry. I…I shouldn’t have called.” Of course, you’re not fine, Is he out of his mind? The voices in Toji’s head knocked sense into him as he realized what he did. How could he be so insensitive? Is it because he knows of his crimes, the source of his guilt and how he didn’t think it would affect him as much as it does now?

Now, even this breakup feels selfish. How could he just decide to leave when you’ve been trying so hard? He’s not different from your baby daddy—running away when they couldn’t handle the pressure, leaving you to clean up after the mess. Toji closed his eyes tight, clearing his head, begging himself to say the right words and make the correct decisions.

“I—I’m still here for you always, alright? Take care, Y/N. Kiss Yui good night for me.” He spoke slowly, fighting the loss in the empty space he’s staring at, absorbing your soft hums and apology as he continued, “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry, baby. It took every fiber in his baby not to say it like that. For your sake. And for him. 

If you never talk to him again, he will miss you forever.

You put the phone down, feeling your daughter’s head on your chest as she stared up at you. Your mother once said that children do not understand these things yet but they feel their parents’ pain when it happens. And just like that, it’s almost as if your baby girl can read you. Her eyes says that she wants to help but doesn’t know how because she doesn’t eve understand it.

“Mama sad?” Her voice was small, it’s amazing that even at her age she knows how to try and soothe you. She knows that this is not the time to be playful without even knowing the situation. All she knows is that her mother is sad and crying. “No, mama’s just tired.” You smiled at her and for the first time she seems hesitant to reciprocate it.

“Mama sleep.” She got suddenly, bouncing her way to the spot next to you as she gets into a curled sleeping position. She’s a smart child. You laid down next to her, cuddling her small frame for as long as she can sit still but it wasn’t long before she was playing again, forgetting about it all. She’s still a baby after all. But this kid right here is the one who will always pull you out of the waters.

You wished that you could forget and get over this as quickly as this baby does, You wished it would all just fly out of your mind, that you could just throw up all of the pain out of your heart. You wished that you could just dust off the broken pieces of your relationship from your clothes, that you could scrub away the pain in the shower and watch it flow down the drain.

—————————-

“Look, I know Yui’s always been our priority but if you need a bit of time for yourself, you know you can leave Yui with me.” Satoru came earlier than expected. You can tell that he’s trying to stay inside the ‘boundaries’ as he struggled to find the right words to say about your breakup with Toji.

“You should take a break from work, if you think that’s what you need, I will-“ You placed a hand on his arm, stopping him. Satoru doesn’t want to seem like he’s taking advantage of the situation, that’s the last thing he wants to do. As painful as it is to admit it, he knows that you love Toji. 

“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You forced out a laugh, trying to make it better than how it really is. It’s clear to Satoru that you’re having a hard time. He could see it in your face, your eyes. Satoru remembered those times when he would do anything just to avoid looking at you and seeing how badly he broke you.

He was heartless for letting himself make you feel like that. He was stupid for letting you feel like that. 

“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You let out a laugh, retracting your hand away as you reached for the towel to wipe your daughter’s food-stained cheek. “Megumi and Yui still play together, I mean they’re besties now, right?” Yui giggled at the mention of her friend.

As much as Satoru wants to have another chance with you, he just doesn’t think he would deserve it just like that. Also, he doesn’t think he can see you like this everyday. Now he wants to talk to Toji. If it’s because of his interactions with you then Satoru himself would volunteer to give the big guy the assurance he wants. 

It would be painful for Satoru but to see you so dull makes him want to give up his fight. If he even has some. His friends, mostly Shoko, already told him that he already lost all his chances. “You’re not a cat. You don’t get nine lives in this Satoru.” She would say and Suguru would quickly add “You used to have nine lives, actually. But you’re a dead man to her now.” It was playful but depressing talk but valid but…sad.

It was everything but playful to Satoru, no matter how much his friends tried to lighten up the delivery, it still felt like playing darts with his heart. Because he knows how much truth those words hold. He would smile and shake his head. His friends are never the ones to sugarcoat shit. 

After saying goodbye to  Y/N with his baby girl, Satoru can’t help but feel curious about your breakup. He’s almost a hundred percent sure that it’s Toji’s decision because of how you are right now. He doubts that you’d be the one to break it off. You’re a fighter, he knows that. He hates that you have to deal with these cowards of men who only know how to break.

But of course, Toji’s more deserving than him. That’s the bitter truth. Toji left for your good, while Satoru…just gave up on you back then. He will regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn’t get you back. 

Get you back. He felt like a villain, hoping that you were the first to initiate the split. That would give Satoru so much hope. Thinking about why you did it (if you did), taunts him into assuming that maybe you still have something with him. But this isn’t right. No. Satoru should be better than this. Your happiness comes first. Even if it’s not with him.

Satoru swallowed the rushing mix of emotions that fogged his mind as he drives. It felt like swallowing needles, allowing them to go straight to his cracking heart. It’s almost impossible now, huh, to get you back? Even when you’re single again, it still feels impossible. Why is he even imagining it?

Shaking his head, he successfully parked his car, clapping his hands as he looked at Yui through the rearview mirror. “Let’s go now, my heart~” He sing-songed and the toddler eagerly reached up to him. “Tomorrow we go back to Mama, alright? She’s kinda sad, isn’t she? We gotta rescue that!” Yui cheered with him, despite not understanding what her father was saying.

Satoru knows that he can’t meddle with your relationship with Toji, no matter how much it bothers him. The least he can do is try to brighten your mood. Without any ulterior motives, of course. This is a vulnerable time for you. He doesn’t think he can stomach trying to get in through those cracks in your heart because of your failed relationship. 

It’s not the right thing to do and that’s not what a good person who truly cares would do. He can only support you, but he doesn’t plan on taking advantage of this situation. 

—-------------------------------------------------

3 months later

It’s a blessing to be a mother. It’s hard too. Especially, when your daughter won’t allow you to have a break from your ex for more than three months. “Mama!” She screamed at the top of her lungs for the hundredth time that morning. “I just took your bag, let’s go.” You wished you could’ve taken a picture of her, standing as she held the door of her room open.

“You’re so big now, baby.” Her birthday’s in a few months and you feel like crying because it felt like you just gave birth to her yesterday and now she’s turning three. Time is a thief. You wonder if so much has changed with Toji’s life too. You wouldn’t be shocked if he’s got a new girlfriend. After all, Satoru only took a few weeks to find someone new when you broke up.

That fucking stings. You told yourself and if you weren’t holding your daughter’s hand and her bag you would physically clutch your chest. The thought of being so replaceable has been a constant in your mind since Satoru and Naomi. 

And if it happens with Toji again, you’d probably just close the table for love.  You drove to the park, a meeting place you chose for the kids. You don’t want to be in Toji’s house. You don’t think you can handle that yet. 

You wondered if you’d be greeted by some new lady with him, like how Satoru received you with Naomi’s head on his chest. What if they play with the kids instead and leave you out of place during the whole play date? Or what if they leave you to watch the kids while they get some snacks, taking their time to play couple while you wait?

What if— A knock on your window broke off your train of thoughts as you took in your surroundings. That’s right. You’ve been driving and now you’re at the part. And now Toji’s shading his eyes, his hand arched over his brows as he tried to see through your windows. “Gumi!” Yui squealed, kicking in her car seat as Megumi waved from the outside. 

Toji was holding him in one hand as his bag hang loosely on Toji’s shoulder. You rolled the windows down, gulping your anxiety as you thanked the heavens that none of the scenarios in your head came true. 

“You spaced out.” He chuckled a bit awkwardly as he smiled at you. There’s something new about him. Did he really glow up after leaving you? You almost frowned but you gave him a laugh, trying to think of an excuse as to why you’re sitting absentmindedly in your car a few minutes before meeting with your ex and his child.

“I was trying to remember if I locked our door.” You laughed, gathering your things as you stepped out. “Can I hold that for you?” Toji offered as you opened Yui’s door. You thanked him softly, trying your best to seem relaxed. You don’t know if you should be glad or worried that he’s being so cool.

It could be because he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or because he doesn’t really give two shits about your relationship with him that he doesn’t even feel uneasy meeting for the first time after you broke up. 

Or maybe because he’s already moved on to someone else, he just didn’t bring her with him because he’s a respectful man. You swore you heard a voice say it and it almost convinced you that it’s your brain that wants you dead. “Yui.” Megumi’s neck stretched as he looked over your shoulder for his best friend.

“Chill, man. Your long lost bestie will be free in a minute.” He still doesn’t fail to make you laugh. You put Yui down and watched the two kids adorably and messily hug. Now you’re glad that you taught them the importance of hugs. 

“It’s cute that they’re still comfortable with each other.” You commented, pulling at your clothes as you tried to distract yourself from checking your ex out. You’re thinking hard to figure out what changed with his look. Aside from his forehead showing as the wind played with his dark hair, 

“Let’s sit there, near the seesaw. They love that.” The kids were talking in a language only they understand, pointing at stuff before laughing as if it was the funniest thing they saw while to you, it looked like nothing. You would give everything to be a kid again. Just carefree and happy. But seeing your daughter makes you realize you wouldn’t have this any other way.

“How have you been?” He started as you sat down, hugging yourself as you looked ahead at the children. To be honest, you don’t know how to answer that. Do you tell him first that you miss him? Or do you tell him first that you got a clearer understanding of the holes in your relationship with him?

“I won’t deny that I missed you.” He chuckled leaning back. “But I did some reflecting.” He paused, glancing over to you, eyes traveling across your face. “A lot of reflecting actually.” He nodded, licking his lips. Right. That’s right, you thought, referring to his looks. Aside from his hair being longer, he looked…softer. You blinked away your thoughts, clearing your vision.

“I…I’m okay.” You don’t know how to tell him it could’ve been better if he was still with you. You wondered if your relationship problems would’ve been gone now if you didn’t break up. Would it have been better by now if you kept going? “I missed you, of course. But,” You laughed airily, “I’m getting better.”

You didn’t let your breakup with Toji affect you as a mother to Yui. But if you’re talking about yourself. You’re still trying. You have lived without Toji, of course, you can still keep going now. But your split felt like a crash from cloud nine. You’ve been so soaked with your happiness with him that when he left it felt like you were slowly getting drained and dry.

He walked you into a field of roses and when you returned to your old garden you realized how dull it was. Yui was your sunshine in those days under the dark clouds. She was a sunlight that went out of its way to bring a smile on your face. “It’ll get better.” You sighed, glancing at Toji and seeing the solemn look on his face. Does he feel sorry for you? Does he feel guilty for leaving so abruptly as your baby daddy did? Does he feel—

“It doesn’t feel any better for me at all.” Toji’s not one to hide the reality of his feelings from people he feels comfortable with. It melts your heart when you think about how he loosens up with you. It makes you feel special. Though, not special enough to fight for.

“It will. Soon.” You looked down. You know that it wasn’t his intention to make you feel as if you’re making him feel guilty for choosing his peace. But it still feels like it and you don’t know what to say anymore. I’m sorry? I’m sorry that you feel sorry for me? He nodded, smiling so softly. Charming, you thought. You feel sad for the people who don't get to see this. Yes, his smirk can make one feel things but this smile…

The day went by fast, Toji invited you to dinner since a restaurant was nearby but you politely declined. It’s not that you want to. It’s just that you have to. One thing that you learned from your heartbreak with Satoru is that the more that you see them, the deeper the shards cut. 

“My mom’s coming over for dinner. Maybe next time.” Your genuine smile contradicted the lie flowing out of your lips. It was so tempting when he looked like this, but you have to stand your ground. Next time. The two words reverberated inside Toji’s head and that was enough to push aside the disappointment he felt when you declined. 

“That’s alright. There’s always a next time.” It sounded as if he was reassuring himself, emphasizing that you’re fine with meeting him and Megumi again next time. This is enough for now. After all, he still has to reflect on a couple of things regarding your breakup. But everything always seems to be pointing him back to you. 

—————————

“Just call me when you’re ready to go, and I’ll pick you up.” Satoru’s words before he left you and Yui earlier started to get twisted inside Toji’s head. Now that Toji has let you go, Satoru’s just waiting for your go signal so he can pick you up again. He swallowed dryly, faking a smile when you looked back at him, laughing at whatever the kids did that he didn’t see.

Time flew by fast but that image of you leaning towards Satoru so that he could give his daughter a kiss as he said that to you has been stuck in Toji’s head all day. The kids were drinking juice with small towels around their shoulders. “I can, uh, I can just drive you home, you know? I mean, so that Satoru wouldn’t have to drive all the way here again.” He suggested, wiping off some of the water droplets in his son’s body.

“It’s alright, he’s already on his way anyway and he owes Yui a kitty cake that they didn’t get to buy last time.” You smiled at him, before asking to leave to give Yui a quick warm shower. Toji would’ve wanted to chat a bit more with you. Just spend more time with you. He couldn’t ask for so much of it now. It felt like it would be too much of an imposition for him to do so. 

After a couple of minutes, the doorbell rang and he placed Megumi on one of the rugs, reminding him to stay there so he won’t slip. He sighed, running to his gate, knowing that it would be Satoru and of course, since you’re still getting Yui ready, the polite thing to do is to let him sit and maybe, entertain your baby daddy a bit.

“Oh, come on in. She’s just getting Yui ready.” His voice was almost monotonous, the nod of his head was another way to be a bit more ‘friendly’ to the guy. “You a fan of iced tea?” Toji cleared his throat with Satoru following behind him. Megumi was still on the rug, staring off into space. Toji can’t help but laugh when Satoru waved a hand at his face.

“Yui Dad.” He looked up, waving his small hand despite the blank look on his face. “He really looks like you.” Satoru commented, “Except his hair.” Toji placed a pitcher on the counter, pouring a glass for the man, something he didn’t think he would ever do. “I’m glad you and Y/N are doing better,” Toji spoke after a couple of minutes of silence. 

“Yeah,” Satoru nodded, holding Megumi’s hand as he tried to walk towards Toji. “We’re getting more used to this co-parenting thing. Figured out it was healthier for all of us when we’re not constantly arguing about something.” Toji doesn’t know if it’s right to say it but it already came out of his mouth before he realized it.

“The both of you single made it better, eh?” He didn’t mean it to start something with Satoru again, it’s just that that is the first thing that popped up in his head when he heard him. “Yes and No.” Satoru answered before he could even back it up with something lighthearted. “Me being single, yes. Because Naomi was basically a wedge, one cause of the problems that used to arise between us. And no, because no problem arises directly from you regarding those arguments.” He shrugged, taking a sip before continuing. 

“Actually, I don’t even know why you broke up with her, if I’m going to be frank I trusted you with my family already, why did you even left her?” He’s saying a lot more now than before. Definitely a healthier man. And he seems like he’s back to his real self now. Toji might even assume he’s drunk if only you didn’t mention that he doesn’t handle liquor well.

“I’m not trying to guilt-trip you, alright? I want you to love her because you truly love her, but come on, man, there’s no threat.” Yui definitely takes after her father. Very talkative, Toji thought. Inhaling, he gathered his thoughts and which aspect of what Satoru has said he should focus on, “I don’t know.” Was his short answer. 

“I mean… I was worried. I don’t know if she’s really over you. I don’t want her to keep hurting by my side.” It was quiet. Satoru didn’t speak, allowing Toji to continue. “Plus, I fear that she will forever feel like she just comes second to my wife. To be honest, I feel that with her too. With you being her first.” Toji felt surprised at his honesty. He just hopes that you won’t overhear this.

“You’re the present. I’m her past.” It felt bitter for Satoru to say, “I’m starting to accept that now. I’m just contented that I can be with my daughter and that I take care of them even from the sidelines.” 

But Satoru would forever wish it didn't have to be like that. 

“I’m not playing matchmaker. I just want what’s best for her. Even if it’s not me, Toji.” He stood up, sighing as he heard footsteps coming closer. You came in struggling to carry a barefoot, laughing little girl, a towel and her bag. “Dada!” She screamed with a smile as she tries to get away from you. “You’ll slip!” You warned her and Satoru quickly went closer to take her in his arms. 

Toji sat there for a minute more, processing the man’s words. The best for you. If he’s going to ask Satoru about it, he’d say that if he has to pick someone for Y/N, Toji will be a top candidate. Aside from the fact that he’s a good man who truly cares for her, he also easily understands your situation because he has a child of his own too.

It’s safe to say that right now, you’re the only man that Satoru feels is safe to leave his daughter and baby momma with. His past mistakes and horrible decisions put him in this place and the least that he could do to make it all up to you is support you and whatever makes you happy as long as it’s good for you and his child.

“We’ll be going now, thank you, Toji.” Only then has Toji realize that he’s been staring at the three of you now and his baby boy who’s trying to hug Yui as her father puts on her shoes. “Uh, yeah. Let me walk you guys out.” He licked his lips, blinking fast as he tried to snap himself back to reality. “Come on, Megs. After this, you take a bath, alright?” He picked him up, wrapping a towel around his body.

“Come again. Please.” Satoru laughed as the little boy waved, probably worried that it would take months for his little friend to come over again. “She’ll be back soon, bro. Chill.” That’s wild, Toji thought, He just called my son ‘bro’. Before you could even get on the other side of the car, Toji has made up his mind. “Uhm, Y/N.” You looked up at him, for some reason, eyes shining with what seemed to be…hope.

“Can we come over sometime?” Megumi’s little cheer made your smile wider, nodding at them, “Of course..” You felt like a teen, worried that you answered too quickly, “Anything for that ‘gumi smile.” You played it off cool but kept your eyes on Toji the whole time. 

You didn’t hear anything about what he and Satoru talked about. But it was nice to know that they’re starting to get along. Inside, Satoru was fixing his daughter’s things, somehow glad that he couldn’t hear whatever the of two of you were talking about because no matter how happy he is for you, he’d always break into smaller pieces each time he saw you smile and look at Toji like that.

He knows. Because you used to look at him like that. 

Albeit, crossed with pain and longing, you used to look at him with so much love. Overflowing. And then, along with the tears he caused. It felt like acid in his stomach, threatening to spill out of his mouth whenever he thought of what you went through because of him. But now you’re happy. 

He didn’t know that love would show him that some people are worth being pulverized for.  

The car door opened just as he pretended to find something inside the glove compartment and he swallowed the pang in his chest at the glow on your face. “Gumi, babye! Gumi, babye!” His child screams behind him, waving her hands back at her playmate. “You ready to go?” He asked you and you hummed, glee evident even in the small sound. 

With that, the two of you waved at Toji and Megumi, pulling out of their driveway. You smiled at the shared nods between Toji and Satoru before speeding down the road to the bakery where Satoru usually buy Yui’s cakes. Your mind kept going back to Toji. Maybe you’re being delusional but you can’t help but feel like he had to gather the courage to ask you that very last-minute question. 

He feels like a…high school crush. 

And maybe he’s being a high school crush because a week later, he shows up at your doorstep dressed like a heartthrob with a kid in oversized sunglasses and a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

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taglist: @forever-war @astral-hydromancy @witchbybirth @starshinedowo @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @lost-lonnie @haitanifxn @dearsunaa @clairdelunaax @anxious-chick @tigerchaeee @gingerspicelattemix @tsukkisrightpinky @crowiechan @makimais @infinitemoonlight @iloveblogging2 @cloudsinthecosmos @uchiwife @bellaadonnas @lawlietily @lilxnvm @poopoobuttsy @yihona-san06 @luhvbot @sagekko @asbony @uhremmi

@kurookinnie @why-am-i-here-again-shitheads @galaxyfever @guenievresworld @y2kcy3brz @chocokaylarobin @hopeannalea @shizuuuuuuuu @tojirin @teapartyspilled @ackermendick @shadowarchon @vinkiesz @awkwardaardvarkforever @nvvacanesworld @wolffmaiden @underburningstars @rntrsuna @vampgguk @doulcha @creolequeen11210 @reosnagi

[intertexts-moving]

YOUR TAAAAGS YOUR TAGS YOUR TAGS YOUR TAGS. ok. off is kind of hit or miss for most people because its so weird and vague and i am extremely biased bc its one of my favorite thinfs ever BUT. i am going 2 say i think u will love it actually. its got soooo many fairytaleisms. its got tragedy. its got extremely morally grey characters. theres no good guys or bad guys. ITS GOT WEIRD LITTLE GHOSTS !!!!!! look at these bitches i used 2 doodle the off spectres in my notebooks like constantly they feel like home 2 me

the art style is so unsettling and creepy. its got sketchy lines and weird freak of nature characters. i am going to be EXTREMELY selfish here in saying that i think u will very much enjoy the art style and also i want 2 see how u would draw some of the characters bc ur style is very monochrome and messy (<< i mean this in a beloved sense i love your linework so much) and i think it fits the vibe so perfectly. on a completely unrelated note are you still taking commissions.

ITS GOT ONE OF THE ALL TIME BEST OSTS EVER BTW. i still have the main battle theme (which is called pepper steak btw. best name for a song ever) as my ringtone on my phone. my video game ost rank goes 1.portal 2 2. off 3. undertale 4. minecraft. the off ost holds higher regard in my brain than undertale. shaking your shoulders it fits the vibe of the game soooo perfectly.

i will not get into the story too much here bc i already talked about some vague spoilery stuff in that post and i dont want to tell u too much more in case u do play the game urself BUT. ohhh my god. i could talk about the story for hours. u can ask aster after we finished the game we sat on call for like 2 hours while i walked her through my personal take on the ending and then she gave me her thoughts on the ending and EVEN THOUGH WE PLAYED THE GAME TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME (i streamed it for her) WE HAD DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON THE END. ITS SOOOOO FUCKING GOOD its one of those things where like. its so open ended that nobody ever gets into fights about what the "right ending" is because. well. there isnt one UGH i love that shit.

also zacharie is here. he is such a beloved character to me hes been one of my biggest huge comfort characters since like. 2015. i love him. hes like sans undertale for people in 2008. he was the original sans undertale. i think they would be best friends

oh also despite the fact that the setting is very much like. weird abstract, sort of fantasy sort of industrial, the main character is a fucking baseball player. hes so out of place its so funny

^ official art btw. to give u a taste of mortis ghost's art style. its so silly and weird i love it so much

OK THAT WAS MY OFF PROPAGANDA SORRY FOR INVADING UR INBOX I LOVE YOU also ive been in a huge off mood for like 3 days now and have not been able to talk about it so im EXPLODING now

OHHHHGHGHGHGHHH. MACKERELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MAC U CAN'T DO THIS TO ME..... ohhhh my god. ok. ok yeah im pinky promising u right now i WILL play it. like. SOON. it looks so good hooly shit. game that i can TELL will rearrange my brain. also it looks SO nice... i like the art style so much. mac u are GETTING me here u KNOW what u are doing. u cant just go ros theres an unsettling morally gray tragic game with an incredible ost and weird art and NOT expect me to go fucking bonkers.

[mehbzz]

Lost

I cant stop myself. Hopefully one day I will escape this Chocobros ABO Au obsession but today is not that day. On the plus side it’s good writing practice! Not to tag @weebsinstash everytime but it was their idea that kickstarted my mild obsession. Last time I promise! F!reader and Ignis. orgasm denial, fingering, controlling/manipulative/aggressive behaviour

“Are you lost my dear?” The voice surprises you and you let out a squeak, much to your embarrassment, as you turn towards the man who had appeared at your side. Partially hidden by the shadows, you catch a glimpse of reddish-violet hair and amber eyes staring intently back at you. “No I’m fine, thank you”. He continues to stare, his eyes narrowing as they sweep over you, head tilting to the side as he examines you. Just as you start to trip over awkward into uncomfortable he nods.  “Enjoy your evening my dear,” he tips his black fedora towards you, “Farewell for now” You watch him walk away and disappear in the direction of the hotel before you continue your journey further into the town.

A foolish stumble while packing up the tent after the boys’ last hunt had left you with a beautiful purple bruise across your knee and a myriad of minor aches and pains. Gladio and Ignis had become unbearable with their attention afterwards, refusing to let you carry or do anything other than sit and watch as they packed up. This meant that asking if you could go explore the town you were all currently staying in had been met with an immediate no. Gladio responding before you had even finished the question. Thankfully Noctis and Prompto had also wanted to go explore and with some gentle persuasion from Ignis, Gladio had relented under the provision that the three of you stayed together. You hadn’t meant to end up on your own, but it hadn’t been long before the two younger alphas got distracted by their phones, and to avoid getting drawn into their bickering over whether or not Prompto had managed to cheat in King’s Knight you had turned away to admire a shop window and when you turned back they had gone. Your panic had been brief, you knew the way back to the hotel, it was a safe town, and best of all; you were finally alone. You could relax, you could explore, you could try some new cuisine, maybe meet some new people, and head back to the hotel later. You knew you were going to get a telling off for this, but the excitement of doing something just for yourself overrode it. Besides you didn’t technically wander off. Noct and Prompto did.

The sun was just beginning to set by the time you decided to head back to the hotel, staying out perhaps a little later than you intended. As you round the corner to the hotel you bump into the man from earlier coming from the opposite direction. He grabs your waist to stop your stumble and although he says nothing he smiles at your apology. His scent is strong but strangely bland and you can’t help the shiver of unease as he lets you go but doesn’t move away. “Sorry“ you repeat, but he doesn’t reply, just watches you with those unnerving amber eyes as you quickly step away.

As you enter the hotel you are immediately hit with an angry bark of your name. Looking across the lobby to see Gladio stalking towards you and Prompto looking worried behind him. The look changing to obvious relief when he locks eyes with you. Gladio says nothing as he reaches you, other than a continuous low warning growl that has you momentarily freezing in alarm. He obviously doesn’t appreciate your reaction and the grip on your arm as he drags you towards the rooms is painful. His scent a confusing mix of anger, concern and something tangy you can’t identify.

He pushes you into your shared room and you stumble, rubbing your arm where he had been holding you. “You do not wander off alone.” His words are almost a snarl and your alarm evolves into a tinge of fear “You do not talk to other alphas” “I didn’t ta-“ He cuts you off with a low growl “you reek of other alphas”. You’re not sure what to say to that and are pretty sure anything you say will just incense him further so you keep silent. Avoiding his gaze you glance at Prompto who offers you a weak smile. “You look at me” Gladio steps into your line of sight and you force yourself not to shrink back at his glare. “You will stay in this room until I come back”.

You scoff, “I’m not a chi-“ “you will stay in this room” it’s a command. This wasn’t the first time Gladio had used the creepy alpha voice trick on you, though it was the first time it had ever been spoken in such anger. The command shot through your chest like lava, a whirling line of heat that spread up to the back of the skull and threatened to give you a major migraine if you tried to disobey. You felt angry tears start to well up in response and tried to blink them away. This was unfair. This was unfair bullshit. But you kept your mouth shut; arguing now would not end well for you. “Yes, alpha.” You hissed. You saw Prompto flinch slightly at your tone, but Gladio didn’t react, other than to turn and leave the room, tugging Prompto with him before closing the door with a slam. You stand there in the middle of the room for a few minutes, frustration and tears threatening to overwhelm you. Trying to keep yourself from breaking down you sit on the edge of the bed, spending a few minutes angrily tugging the sheets and pillows off so you can cocoon yourself underneath them.

The knock at the door startles you before Ignis steps inside. As he stands there you notice the tenseness in his shoulders and you mentally resign yourself to another lecture. The way he scans over your little pile of blankets seems to amuse him and causes the irritation in your chest to flare back to life. You snarl as Ignis steps towards your bed, and he stops, surprise flitting across his face before he gently smiles at you. “You look nice and cosy in there, you did a good job”. The praise instantly has a ball of warmth flooding your chest, even before you fully comprehend his words. Did a good job at what? “Can I join you?” You nod reluctantly and he sits on the edge of the bed next to you. He watches you silently for a couple of minutes and you feel a tinge of guilt. “I’m sorry” Ignis looks unimpressed at your words. “Noctis told you to stay with him did he not?” “But –“ “I know this is still a confusing time for you, but Noctis is our pack leader, you need to listen to him, he knows, we all know, what’s best for you” “I didn’t wander off” your rebuff comes out more petulant than you wanted and Ignis sighs. “You are our omega darling; we are only looking out for you” You forget that sometimes, that Noctis is the pack leader. A little too bratty, a little too immature for the reality of him being an Alpha, and the pack leader, to stick in your head. “How do you think Noctis felt when he looked back and you weren’t there?” You frown, how does he think you felt? When Gladio grabbed you by the arm hard enough to leave bruises? Commanded you to stay like a misbehaving dog? The anger starts to bubble inside you again but before you can reply Ignis continues, “You could have got hurt, or worse” a slow quiet purr coming from him as he strokes a hand over your head. “There are Alphas out there who wouldn’t be as kind as us if they realised you were an Omega” His words send a chill down your spine as you remembered the stranger outside the hotel. Ignis senses your shift in mood and his purr gets a little louder, trying to comfort you “We can’t protect you if you leave us darling” nails scratch lightly across your scalp and you relax further  “promise me you won’t go off on your own again”

“I di-“ Your protest dies on your lips at Ignis disappointed look and you look away. His purr having the desired effect as you feel the fight start to drain out of you “I promise” He hums, happy at your, albeit reluctant, submission and continues to stroke your hair. It’s soothing and the comfort starts to turn your irritation into guilt. “Will you tell Noct I’m sorry?” Ignis relaxes slightly at your words but doesn’t agree to your request. “You can tell him yourself in the morning”

“Is Gladio still angry at me?” You feel on the verge of tears again “No darling, He worries about you,” a soft kiss to your brow, “I worry about you,” another to the tip of your nose, “we all do” he murmurs softly, finally brushing his lips to yours but pulling away before you can reciprocate.

You stay like that for a while, relaxed and drowsy as Ignis continues to purr and stroke your hair. “Are you still sore from this morning?” his questions startles you out of your doze and you nod in reply.  "Get undressed."

There’s a pause, a moment of silence where you’re not sure you heard him right. “What?” “Get undressed” he repeats. “A massage and some relaxation will do you the world of good.” It didn’t take long for you to agree. Although a little off kilter with the abrupt change of topic and the lack of a real reprimand you still eagerly accept his offer.  Even as you continued to unknowingly step further in to the role of Ignis’ omega, you still came second to his duty to Noctis and getting his undivided attention and one of his massages was not something you could refuse.

As you stand and start to remove your clothes Ignis begins to rearrange your cocoon of blankets which causes you a small confusing flare of distress. He notices and turns back to look at you, “we can rebuild it later” The ‘we’ makes you happy for some reason and you can’t decipher the emotion that flickers across Ignis face at your happy chirp. You still hate the noises you make, the involuntary purrs, chirps and growls that escape you despite your best efforts. Ignoring your disobeying body you focus on removing your clothes.

Once in your underwear you stop, watching him as his eyes roam over you, gaze filled with approval and appreciation. You fight the urge to turn and hide yourself from his eyes. Ignis’ love of seeing you in lingerie always left you feeling more than a little self conscious. Finally he speaks, “you can remove your bra” again fighting the urge to hide you stand there as his gaze lingers across your bare breasts before glancing over the finger marks Gladio had left on your upper arm. He doesn’t comment, instead steps towards you and brings a gloved hand up to your mouth, letting his fingers rest lightly against your bottom lip. You know what he wants and you oblige him. Nipping the end of his glove between your teeth, you resist the temptation to take his fingers into your mouth and instead help him remove his glove, before doing the same with the other. Ignis takes half a step back and lets his eyes roam over you again, taking you in. A smile flickers across his face as he takes a breath in, scenting you, before it morphs into flash of distaste. Gone before you can question him he gestures towards the bed “Lie down, on your front”

Once you are settled Ignis starts a slow soft rhythm with his fingers, running up your spine, across the nape of your neck and back down. He leans forward to kiss a soft spot between your shoulder blades before his fingers start to firmly knead down your back and spine. The pain and pleasure mixing until you feel yourself start to relax beneath his hands, as the knots and aches loosen. He continues this for a while, until your moans and sighs of painful pleasure turn into quiet sleepy whimpers. He kisses your neck. "turn over for me darling," he whispers pressing further kisses against your skin as he draws back again, watching you as you turn to lie on your back.

His pupils fully blown, a deep dark void as he stares at you like he wants to devour you has your pressing your thighs tighter in an effort to relieve the sudden rush of arousal. “You’d look so good in a blindfold, black silk across your eyes,” his finger brushes gently over your cheekbone, “would you let me?” His voice, dark and velvety makes you moan a shiver run through you and hips rocking forward before you can stop them. He doesn’t seem to mind your lack of a verbal answer, content to watch his hand trail down over your breasts, carefully avoiding your nipples and coming to rest on your thigh. You automatically open your legs at his touch, and he acquiesces to your unspoken request with a quiet hum, grazing fingers over your panties and down between your legs in a slow barely there caress. His movement is painfully slow, and your attempt to move your hips to hurry him along has him tsking at you, his free hand pressing down on your stomach to stop you moving.

It’s just enough to tease you. The way his finger languidly rubs against your clit through your panties. No rush, no real pressure, Just enough to have a tease of pleasure start to build tortuously slow within you. You arch your back and grind your hips, trying to get him to move faster, to touch you harder and his movement immediately ceases. You whimper in frustration as he withdraws his fingers, his hand stroking up over your body, leaning in to press soft gentles kisses up your stomach to just under your breasts. He avoids your nipples, avoids the little sensitive patch on your collarbone and bites sharply on the lobe of your ear. “Stay Still” Once he deems you suitably still and calm he slips his hand back down between your legs and resumes stroking you through the fabric, drawing breathy moans and whimpers from you. He touches you nowhere but against your covered clit, and it’s maddening. Every time you try to reach for him or move closer he stops. Ignis works you up closer to the edge again and again, each time stopping before you can come. With each denied orgasm you became more desperate, and as he brings you to the edge for the fifth time, you begin to tearfully plead with him.

"Please, Ignis," you beg, you were close to tears, your orgasm was steadily building again, and this time you were pretty sure you were going to die if he didn’t let you come. He leans up, his fingers still circling your clit, and kisses your mouth softly.

"You're going to be a good girl?" He asks and you nod frantically, “going to listen to us? He presses harder against your clit, “going to do as we tell you?” " yes, yes, I promise," you cry out with a moan. You were right on the edge, just a few more gentle strokes of those clever fingers and you would come. "Please Ignis, I promise to be good." His fingers slow and you feel like you’re going to scream in frustration "Alpha please" You close your eyes and he growls loudly, leaning down to kiss your neck, but he stops again. Hand moving from between your legs to cradle your jaw, focusing your attention back on to him

“Do you want to cum?” he whispers, dragging a thumb across your jaw “Yes” “Yes what?” “Yes! Yes alpha, yes sir, just please Ignis!” You feel the shudder of approval that goes through him at your desperation, your words slurring together as you try to find the words he’s looking for. “Good girl” his hand slowly tracing a line down between the valley of your breasts to rest on your hip. With one more whined please from your throat his fingers idly trace along the edge of your panties, moving slowly inward to tease your clit once again with his thumb. Still ignoring your pleas and whimpers he goes at his own slow pace. Moving the lacy material to the side he runs a finger down through your folds, sliding through your slickness, teasing your entrance.  “so wet omega” a low approving rumble in his chest, he leans down to give you a searing kiss, nipping hard at your lip and just as you think he is about to finally slip inside you and let you have your hard earned release, he pulls away.  The cry that leaves you is nothing short of complete desperation, almost pain, and you can feel tears rolling down your cheeks. You’re dimly aware you are begging, desperately pleading with him as you try to pull him closer but he moves no nearer, instead he stands and leans down to whisper in your ear "I want to do wicked things to you, omega,” he nuzzles against your neck, “but you need to earn them”. You’re crying freely now as he withdraws from you completely and heads towards the bathroom. He doesn’t react to your tears, and it starts to dawn on you that this wasn’t Ignis comforting you for Gladio’s behaviour; this was Ignis punishing you for your behaviour. The arousal and frustration is gone in an instant, replaced by a cold rush of dismay. Sensing you watching him, Ignis turns his head to meet your gaze

“A warm bath then you can apologise to Gladio” His voice is calm, almost cold and you fight the desire to throw yourself at him and beg for forgiveness. “Ignis….” you trail off as he turns away from you. His rejection stings and you suddenly feel very alone. The realisation that if the boys started to find you too much trouble, your disobedience too much of a hassle, they could walk away just as easily as Ignis had done, hits you hard. You truly would be abandoned in this world. You would never get home. They had saved you more times than you could count, they fed you, gave you a bed to sleep in, patiently helped you through the hormonal changes in your body, looked after you and obviously cared about you, and they didn’t ask for much in return really. Just to listen to them. The stubborn side of you wanted to deny it, that you could find someone else to help you, but their over-protectiveness and the lengths they’d go to keep your Omega status hidden made you think they were telling the truth when they said not all Alphas would be as willing to help as they were. Not that they let you have much interaction with others to disprove that but was it a risk you were willing to take? You wanted to go home, maybe Ignis’ was right, they did know what was best, it was their world after all. Ignis’ sharp call of your name startles you out of your thoughts and you look over at him, watching as he sorts a towel and some bodywash out of Gladio’s bag. You feel exhausted. Upset and completely drained you can’t bring yourself to fight anymore so you just nod.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

A Man And His Cat

You both explore pet play.

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult situations +18 , Pet play, Spanking, Oral, Its kinky

A/n: Sooo who wants smut? my quarantine imagine went down well so here is another dirty fic. This will probably be a mini series feel free to send me your kinks and I will try and incorporate them. I am still working on my other stories slowly but on a little writers block and I may or may not have re-watched superman vs batman so look out as there might be some more dc on the horizon because omg I nearly forggot how yummy they were. Anyway here is another smut piece for you all hope you enjoy xx

Taglist @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @thatgirly81​

A Man And His Cat

You lounged across the sofa in your hello kitty onesie playing your xbox, you'd gotten Jurassic world evolution and was currently snickering letting your t-rex run around eating people. Henry was upstairs you could hear him moving around in the study. The door bell went off you quickly got up wrestling kal out of the way to answer it hearing the post man call out he had left it on the bin you thanked him bringing the large box inside with a few letters piled on top. Not thinking anything of it you brought the post in kicking the door shut behind you.

"Babe what the fuck?" You froze not sure at first what you'd done wrong

"Shit hands! hands! sanitize them quick! we cant take chances! Your not supposed to answer the door I've told you that! Were in London! For Christ sake" He said rushing to you snatching the post handing you the sanitizer that sat on the table by the door. You shook your head quickly rubbing the sanitizer over your hands letting it soak in as Henry shook his head at you watching closely.

"Sorry, sorry I forgot" he sighed since receiving your official 'shielding'  letter from the government Henry had been a little mother hen....papa bear? Either way he was on edge hounding you about keeping your hands clean not touching anything that could possibly be infected or letting anyone other than himself with in 6ft of you. He even made you take your temperature each day with good reason tho your heart clenched things were getting bad the infection and death rates climbing each day ,there was rumors that the UK was on the course to being just like Italy and Spain. In a way his worrying was your fault when the letter came through Henry had freaked out a bit, it hit him hard when he realized it wasn't just speculation it was a fact that if you caught this thing it would most likely kill you and he was shook to the core. It didn't help when you'd only told him a few days prior not to worry about your condition that it was under control ,which technically it was every two months you was having blood tests every so often your blood count would dip a little but you normally managed it with your diet just eating more meat usually does it, the protein helping your count go up a little. You didn't bore him with the details he didn't need to know to much, you knew what to do and when to do it, it was normal for you. You feel yourself getting rough you get a blood test and up your steroids, you feel better you lower them back down the main goal being avoiding blood transfusions. But Henry had insisted he needed to know everything now he said it'd make him feel better so you told him, sat him down and explained that somehow your body can survive on a borderline blood count it should be 120 to 150 yours hovers around 100 to 110... If your lucky, not low enough for a transfusion but low enough to cause a few problems if it drops any more the lowest it got in recent years was 57.... yeah that wasn't fun, you'd spent two whole days seven till seven getting transfusions then had to go back to have the iron in your blood taken out....It was not pretty, but since then you'd been more careful. You explained the fact that your immune system was practically non-existent you caught chicken pox a year before and it nearly killed you two days after the spots appeared causing all sorts of issues pneumonia, bacterial infections in the heart and lungs then sepsis resulting in a few weeks in hospital in the infectious diseases unit so yeah safe to say catching this thing would be bad. Henry bless him was gobsmacked he knew you was anemic ,that was it, he had enough on his plate you didn't want to add to it.You leaned back on the side unit by the door trying to pet kal who sniffed at your hand then snorted walking off, he didn't like the sanitizer one bit.

"Henry I'm sorry I just-it keeps slipping my mind" he nodded wrapping you up in a bear hug resting his chin on your head.

"I know baby I'm sorry for snapping... I just don't want to loose you, stay indoors and stay safe those aren't just the government's rules ,their my rules as  well baby girl remember?" You nodded kissing his chest before replying.

"Yes daddy" then turned and walked to the living room again noticing kal playing in his small cubby hole that had been a cupboard until recently, it had been turned into his own little bed room, complete with bed, night light and shelves that had some family photos of the three of you, you blew him a kiss and he huffed plonking his head down on his fluffy bed stretching out ready for his morning nap, you settled back down to play your game. Henry used the sanitizer then ran a hand through his hair sighing he picked up the post bringing it in placing the large box on the counter. He smirked realizing what it was. His order from bondara ignoring the letters he quickly got a knife slicing open the box. Henry routed around in the box like a kid on Christmas excited he headed up stairs to collect his other investments. You was pulled out of your game by Henry combing your hair back with his fingers pulling it up and back into a high ponytail, something you had no idea he could do, you paused the game turning to him but he held you still facing the TV then you felt them. He had clipped your little fluffy grey kitty ears in your hair pulling the pony tail tighter to secure the bottom of the crocodile clips. You brought a hand up to them confused a little touching them softly. He walked to the side smiling cooing at you

"There she is my precious little kitty! Just look at how cute you are?" You flushed at him as he bent down petting between your 'ears' then he growled in your ear.

"I could just eat you all up" you mewled rocking on the sofa a little anticipating the way this would turn out he gasped a little.

"But whats this? you still need your collar how will anyone know you have a loving owner if you don't have a cute little collar on?" he strode across the room plucking something from the box and retrieved a few more items from the counter that you hadn't known was there ,now tho you could clearly see a folded black towel you moaned at the implication he must have brought it down from upstairs turning he made his was back to you this time standing in front of you.

"As much as I did like your own kitten collar I got you a new one, not from bondara I didn't like theirs much but thankfully etsy is still up and running, here it is see?" You gasped as he revealed a pink leather choker with a pretty lace and ruffle design making it look more like a fancy Lolita choker then a kitty collar apart from the large rose gold D ring hanging from the middle just below a dark pink bow and medium-sized rose gold bell You quickly made to grab for it but he pulled it out of reach .

"No let me do it" you quickly held your head high stretching your neck for him to put it on he chuckled at how eager you was, you smiled wide as he quickly placed it around your neck you sighed when you felt the inside was a little padded with a soft almost suede like material. He spun it around so the bell and D ring was central then hooked two fingers inside checking how tight it was satisfied that it wouldn't choke you he pulled away and watched you closely then he sighed

"No ... its still not right is it kitten?" You tilted your head feeling a little ashamed?upset? he didn't like it? Did he think you were ugly? You blinked frowning at him bottom lip wobbling a little as you were on the brink of tears pulling back from him.

"What-" he shushed you placing a finger to your lips

"Kittens don't talk, now there is something missing pet, Ah! I know now this might be it" he said and picked up a small shiny matching rose gold heart tag, he held it to you to read it. On one side it said kitten the other had 'Property Of Henry If Lost Call' and his phone number on it you gasped a little opening your mouth the thank him but he snapped his fingers at you.No talking. You pouted mewling up at him again not sure how to communicate how much you loved it. Then you clicked leaning forward licking his hand biting lightly before tilting your head nuzzling his crotch. You smirked as his breath hitched in his throat and he grunted swearing quietly unable to stop himself from grinding on your head a little then stopped as you pulled back he grunted again rearranging himself in his bottoms. He made quick work of threading the tag onto the D ring he kissed your head

"Good girl and look baby it was a set" he leaned over you picking up a thick soft paracord lead in pink with leather handle decorated to match your new collar clipping it onto the D ring then looped it around his hand tugging lightly prompting you off of the sofa once you stood he quickly undid the buttons on the onesie letting it fall leaving you naked in the room. You shivered nipples puckering as the soft lead grazed your breasts and tummy as he moved, stepping out of the onesie Henry kicked it across the room.

"There we are kitten, nearly finished now down" he said barley containing his excitment you got down on your hands and knees before him holding his gaze rubbing your thighs together rocking side to side trying to caress your tingling clit between your lips as you felt small trickle of your arousal escape onto the floor mewling at the tiny flickers of pleasure it caused. Henry lead you across the living room to the island in the kitchen crawling was a little tricky at first but you soon found a smooth rhythm staying beside him smiling as the bell tinkled at every movement you made, he smiled down at you from this angle you could already see the bulge forming in his trousers, you went to sit down when he stopped only to have him fold the lead in one hand an strike you with it lightly across your breasts making you yelp out then moan looking down seeing a red stripe across them.

"No sitting until your told now ass up, good kitten just like that" you complied preening at his praise. He bent down holding out a fluffy grey kittytail plug you squealed a little bending further down pushing your tender breasts to the cold floor looking back at him expectantly waving your ass in the air at him. He laughed and crouched beside you running a hand across your dripping pussy  he leaned over kissing your head growling as his fingers massaged your wet center you moaned pushing back on him, he dragged his fingers to your opening plunging two thick fingers inside crooking them trying to scoop out more of your cum holding the plug just below you arched pushing back skimming your breasts across the cool floor trembling as he fucked you slowly bringing the plug to your clit and pressing it in small circles making you buck against him moaning and keening in higher pitches.

"Oh looks like I may have wasted money on lube hey baby? all wet and ready for me already such a precious thing." he ran the plug along your ass smearing your arousal across you all the way down to your slit you moaned as he spread his fingers out pulling your lips with them revealing your quivering hole to the cold air of the room making you gasp and clench as the freezing metal plug passed over it resting heavy on your clit, bucking a little you whined pushing back a little as the cold metal met your heated wet flesh, he held it still letting you warm the toy before running it back and forth slowly twisting it letting your arousal coat it wanting to make sure it was wet enough for him to push it in once satisfied he lifted it moving one hand to your bottom then began pressing it insistently at your tight little pucker. You whined placing the side of your face on the cool tile looking at him, he stroked your head shushing you when he realized just how much bigger this was from the last one

"Ok kitten now try to hold still one big deep breath just like before...Good girl now out push on your bottom" you nodded whining  bearing down on the toy as he held your shoulder using it to pull you back as he started pressing the tail further into you. You arched taking deep breaths when the plug seemed to get wider and wider you shook your head trying to arch away as it stung despite your arousal easing the way, you panicked a little as it seemed to keep stretching becoming sore as your tight ring tried fighting it .

"N-no its to muc-AAHH!" you cried out , he shushed you

"Come on kitten... Nearly there....Just a tiny bit more I promise......Push out again for me good girl! shh that’s it...Such a good girl for me......Ah ah no! stop moving bab-baby no no don't do-HEY! enough!-you’ll hurt yourself!" He scolded you as you tried to push against his hand on your shoulder to wriggle away then when that didn't work you unconsciously tried tucking your bottom beneath you whimpering. He stopped you with a quick volley of sharp spanks you yelped as his hot hand heated your ass, then there was a familiar popping sensation as your bottom swallowed the plug closing snug around it. He had used the distraction to quickly push the last of the plug in with a quick little shunt. You pushed up on your hands breathing heavy as the plug was indeed larger then the one you had used before, you ached as your ass tried fighting it wanting to push it out you let out pitiful breathy moans as you rippled around it.

"Daddy? Its big-im not sure-FUUCK OOHH" you cut yourself off moaning loud when he grabbed the tail and gave a small tug smirking as you cried out then followed it trying to ease the pressure he thrusted it a few times hitting something deep that made you arch high and squeal pressing back on to it as your pussy ceased and your clit throbbed so hard it almost felt raw he let go then twisted on his feet petting your head drawing patterns on your back.

"Oh baby I know its hard but your a kitten and kittens don't talk , if you carry on daddy will gag you understand?" you nodded at him pressing your head into his chest and kissed it softly wanting a little comfort, hissing deep breaths as you clenched around the tail plug whining, he brought the hand from your back and rubbed around the plug pressing it lightly.

"Its a little bigger but look at you? such a good girl look at that pretty little tail now just one more thing and you'll be daddies perfect kitty" he stood back up getting the remaining items a set of mittens that had no thumb piece instead just one Little pouch to fit your hand in with little paw prints on them they would be held on by two thin leather wrist cuffs. you wriggled around now growing accustomed to the bulbous plug pressing on your insides moaning as the ache became more a pleasurable throb you rocked a little in the air mouth open gasping as you rocked faster feeling the plug press against the back wall of you pussy, Henry quickly snatched up your hands one after the other locking them into the paw mittens. He stood back groaning loud as he watched cupping his erection rubbing along the bulge moaning rocking his hips into his palm as you kept arching your back. The sight was more erotic then he could have dreamed, he almost drooled as you rotated and wriggled your hips pushing back and forth trying to make your plug hit the spot he had pressed it to earlier moaning with closed eyes flushing a bright red, flinching as the tail ghosted your legs as it swayed behind you, turning you looked at the soft tail hanging between your legs giggling as the soft fur licked at your thighs. He snapped out of it and tugged you moving slower this time you stopped every so often moaning and whimpering as each step make your pussy twitch as the plug pressed against the back wall of it teasing your sensitive flesh from the wrong side by the time you got to the sofa both thighs were wet and you was shaking with need he sighed sitting down on it legs spread holding the lead tight keeping your head close to his crotch

"Come on baby time for your little treat" he said motioning for you to pull him free you brought your hands up fumbling with the zipper only really achieving to rub him through them ,making him grind against your hands throwing his head back you groaned in frustration whimpering at him resting your head in the inside of his thigh running your nose across the bulge sighing he looked down then petted you between your ears again.

"Oh kitten you can do better then that come on get daddy out." you pouted at him and nipped his thigh with your front teeth making him hiss and tug harshly on the lead growling at you before wrapping the cord around his fist once more pressing your nose into his crotch

"Bite me again kitten and see what happens, you think I wont fuck your throat raw? Ram into your mouth until my cock is choking you? Face fuck you until your pass out? I wouldn't test me kitten not now Ive waited to long to have you like this." His low ground out threats made you moan you couldn't wait until he fucked your mouth, already craving his salty taste, you kissed his cock through his trousers licking at it, it made you realize what you should do you trembled tucking your knees underneath you to keep your weight off of the plug you licked a long strip up the front of his trousers wetting them making him grunt again, one hand rested on your head petting you, you smirked watching through your lashes as he started flushing and panting, he loved it when you did this it was the only time he let you tease mostly because he was enjoying himself to much to fight for control, for all his talk of wanting control you think he secretly liked being at your mercy every once in a while, you poked out your tongue grazing his zipper then bit down making sure to press on him harshly making him yelp and hiss though clenched teeth when you dragged it down, he fumbled quickly undoing his top button and shimmied them down his hips giving you enough room to bite his boxers and pull them down....only you didn't you wrapped your lips over them sucking on him hard through them making sure to soak his boxers with spit making him groan giving a  thrust up to your face fisting his fingers in you hair a little careful not to pull off the ears.

"FUCK kitten!! Oh GOD! fuck pleaseplease do that again!! come on once more such a good girl" you did taking your sweet time kissing and suckling on him nudging him with your nose pushing him up and latched onto the sensitive underside of his cock running your teeth over his hot flesh rocking your hips left and right letting your pussy massage itself poking out your tongue you flattened it running it up the vein near his head pinning it to his hip then opened your mouth around it humming, he jerked up ass leaving the seat moaning out loud swearing at you for being a tease, you continued up finding his swollen crown you licked at it then his slit sucking again on him. He groaned loud and drawn out flexing his fingers and widened his legs you carried on enjoying having the man at your mercy for once kissing and sucking at his twitching length he began rocking faster panting.

"OH! yesyesYES Baby...WAIT HOLD ON!... Fuck slow down!Dont nono that's it kitten thats enough daddies going to cum! NO! ENOUGH!" you giggled as he used the lead to jerk you away panting and sweaty you thought it was funny you'd never heard him that desperate before, he normally had godlike restraint  holding himself back for hours if he really wanted to, he gasped then ran a hand across his face and melted into to sofa fighting of the impending orgasm. You sat there biding your time once he relaxed you swooped back in ready to force him to cum in his boxers, but only managed one kitten lick before being jerked away again he growled at you in warning giving you a stern look then tugged of his top still panting.

"you cheeky little thing!" you grinned raising yourself to your knees running your hands up his thighs as you leaned in kissing along the v of muscles above his boxers licking at his skin then nuzzled him lightly ghosting his stomach with your nose placing butterfly kisses here and there feeling him flex trying to arch his cock up to you, you slowly made your way down again opening your mouth tilting your head to engulf the muscle just on his boxers waistband flattening your tongue relishing in the pleasure filled noises he let loose and in the same moment curled your fingers over it the elastic pulling it away letting him spring free hitting your chin. He grunted as you let go letting the elastic snap back onto his balls only letting his cock free he looked down at you giving you a heated look

"Careful baby you don't want to play these games with me" you blinked innocently at him smiling then began kissing lower until you was at the base of his cock ignoring the small patch of hair at his root kissing him obscenely with open mouthed wet kisses then licked him from base to tip before plunging down on him he groaned closing his eyes tight

"FUCK KITTEN! Oohh god that's so hot, shit your mouth is SO FUCKING HOT UGH!" You sucked him deep swallowing around him letting one hand wander to his balls cupping them and rolling them in your palm your other hand dropped between your legs and you ground yourself on your hand moaning onto his cock as you worked your clit in slow firm strokes making your new gloves sticky and wet from your arousal. He cried out desperately bucking into your mouth and throat moaning and crying out cutting off his own words as you kept changing your pace hearing your little bell jingle with your movements on him bobbing your head slow with harsh sucks to his head then fast making sure to swallow or moan as he hit your throat focused solely on making him cum. Today he would cum first you were going to make sure. You whined as you changed direction on your clit feeling the heat in your belly slowly make its way down settling in your hard clit rubbing and tapping at it moaning louder as your orgasm began to build. He shivered his thighs jerking and trembling as you pointed your tongue pressing on the sensitive vein underneath it he shook his head clutching at the sofa grunting breathlessly each time he felt the vibrations of your throat moaning on him.

"BABY BABY STOP! I cant fuck please its to much- no nononono not yet I FuckFU-Fuuuck ah AH AH OH SHIT FUUUUUUCK" you ignored him, he was so lost that he had forgotten the lead, you used it to your advantage pulling back and sucking hard on his head licking at his slit then gripped his sack squeezing it tight as it tensed upwards then with one small drag of your teeth he whimpered loud and high releasing in your mouth jerking himself uncontrollably into your mouth face fucking you just like he threatened. You gave yourself a mental pat on the back but decided to go further swallowing as much of his cum you could but continued to suck and bob on him then cried out as your rocking hips found that perfect position on your clit making it throb and twitch your walls clenching, spasming making the plug move and caress your depths finally you screeched around his cock and came over your hand soaking the glove he yelped curling his feet into the floor shifting back trying to get away you followed placing your hands on his thighs pushing them back as he tried closing his legs trembling from your own release moaning and withering against him.

"UGH NOO FUCK STOPSTOPSTOOOP! ITS TO MUCH BA-KITTEN STOP IT NO PLEASE" he through his hands down blindly pushing you but you fought him wanting to torture him a bit, a little pay back for the other day you reasoned, but you couldn't fight him long even in his fucked out quivering state he was ten times stronger than you, you dragged your teeth across him one last time as he pushed you back off of him completely.

"Your a little bitch, you know that?" He said head tilted back and one arm draped across his eyes heaving deep breaths you just giggled kissing his thighs

"Where the fuck did that come from Anyway?" You just smirked licking your lip trying to collect the cum that had escaped from your mouth he groaned watching your pink tongue darting out.

“Meow?” You were a dangerous little kitten he decided. He looked down feeling your wet mitten then frowned a little before smiling deviously.

"Oh kitten? You didn't touch yourself did you?" You froze a little then sent him coy glance pulling your hands down slowly hoping he wouldn't notice. He caught your offending hand quickly

"Did you?" You shrugged feigning innocence as he pulled your hand up sniffing it you blushed

"It certainly smells like you" you whined at him flushing embarrassed  making him chuckle, he licked a long strip of of the mitten slapping his lips as he puled away tutting.

"Oh i think you did didn't you? Because daddy knows exactly how you taste and that my sweet little kitten is definitely you on this little mitten, such a needy little kitty hm? Did suckling on daddy really make you that desperate? Poor little baby" you panted as he bent forward his pupils dominated the blue of his eyes hot and playful all in one he peered down at the wooden floor sighing.

"Such a messy little pussy you have" he pushed you back a little you ducked when his leg swung over you and he got up walking to the counter again you watched  carefully as he approached the box you took the time to admire his taught ass as he bent forward a little reaching inside picking something out then folded the towel over his arm then hear the distinct sound of leather cracking on an open palm. You snapped out of your ass worshiping gaze eyes flicking  to his hands as he spun around looking at him as he held a new leather paddle with a paw print on it he smiled slyly crooking a finger at you. Come here. You gulped then rose from your spot on the floor crawling toward him gulping.

"You know kitten you was very reckless at the door earlier it was very naughty trying to torture daddy and playing with yourself without permission? I think you should be.....Corrected shall we say, for future reference just as a deterrent?. After all prevention is better then cure isn't it?" he licked his lips watching you squirm on the spot just across the kitchen island he tested the small paddle again. Your whole body ceased up as he stared at you.

"Erm N-no lets not how about best two out of three? You know three strikes and your out?" He chuckled shaking his head.

"Oh baby but that was three strikes and how many times do i have to tell you? kittens don't talk do they?" You pouted trying to sit your bottom down only to jerk it back up as your tail plug pressed deeper and the soft fur tickled your leg... not only that you didn't want to get it wet with your arousal

"Come kitten what do you say?" You blushed

"Meow" his face lit up yet his eyes only got darker

"That’s it such a clever kitty, but I must say you will be getting more then three strikes of your new paddle trust me now come round here like a good girl" you crawled around to his side squeaking as he lifted you effortlessly bending you over the counter you hissed as your breasts squished into the freezing cold marble your toes didn't touch the floor as he shuffled you up with the edge of the island on your thighs. He stood off to the side a little admiring the way your grey tail hung between your legs, the pitiful noises were delicious he grunted feeling himself twitch already starting to harden again he patted you bottom drawing lines along the soft skin moving to your slit following up towards the plug lifting the tail holding it taught in a fist but not pulling it out just tugging enough to make it press down into your pussy from behind. You moaned squirming trying to follow it as he held it high toes scrabbling up the cupboard door failing.

"Oh baby that's so cute, you know I  can see your pussy trying to find something to latch on to, does it feel hot? Is it empty? Sweet kitten you see if you had been a good girl following your rules, if you had stopped when daddy said and asked to touch yourself daddy would already be balls deep, battering away at your needy little pussy painting your insides with his cum... but no instead you hand to be a naughty girl and will have to settle for your paddle." You cried out as he circled your twitching clit as he spoke emphasizing words with shallow thrusts on his fingers he pulled away picking up the paddle striking your lower cheeks and pussy making you jump and moan hearing a wet slap as the sting settled in he pulled away running a hand over the pink spot

"Oohh look at that hah you have a little paw print on your tush now,I think fifteen will do don't you sweety? Five for each naughty thing you did? You know normally I would have you count and say thank you, but well seeing as your a kitten today you should meow instead" You groaned as he lifted it again slapping a bit harder this time you yelped as he aimed for the under curve of your left cheek then meowed dutifully.

"Very good again" he struck you again lower on your thigh no harder then before this time you meowed again moaning as your pussy clenched dripping on your touching thighs. You closed your eyes tight as he continued peppering your ass with the paddle the final five landed in quick succession on your weeping pussy you meowed loud and hard sobbing each pussy spank had directly struck the underside of your clit. Throwing the paddle on the counter he cupped your red swollen lips his hand cooling the burn. He smiled then tilted his hips up bringing his fully erect cock to your entrance. Throwing the towel down on the floor. You sobbed higher as he drew lines on your slit teasing your muscles you jerked against him just on the edge of cumming kicking out your legs.

"You know I have been doing some reading about squirting, I think I've sussed out how to make it happen on command shall we test it out?" You shook your head grunting as he thrust forward you cried out feeling him force your walls apart making room for his fat throbbing cock it stung more then ever with your weight on your tummy and plug in your ass but you loved it.

"Ugh! NOOO!AH AH FUCK!" You mewled grunting at each punishing thrust stretching you he was fighting the plug in your ass for room holding firm  he grinded your clit you screeched as he angled his hips and tugged up on the tail making the embedded metal run along his cock growling. Before you knew what happened your body ceased walls tightened clamping around his cock moaning and gasping releasing, flooding over him he laughed groaning as your steady stream of cum hit his abdomen and washed over him.

"Oh fuck! yes I knew you could do it good girl, fuck that's so HOT! again more come on baby you can do it! Give it to daddy once more then I'll fill you" he grunted doubling his efforts stroking his cock around inside of you giving sharp tugs to your tail jolting you back against him to meet his brutal hips making you whimper at the harsh treatment one of his hand snuck below you pinching your clit almost jerking it off.

"FUCK I’m nearly there KITTEN! OH SHIT! Fuckfuckfuck you better fucking cum for me! Or I'll get the wand out again!" That did it You threw your head back placing your toes on the cupboard door rocking against him cumming again long and hard, so hard you couldn't make a sound all the air left you and you just hung there your mouth hanging open in a silent scream he grunted gabbing your shoulders pulling you back to him making your spine curve painfully as you fell apart around him again your sopping pussy sucking on him trying to trap him with on final painful thrust he growled rubbing his cock head on your cervix releasing torrents of cum into you. He lowered your shoulders down feeling you go limp taking a moment to catch his breath then he pulled the box towards him panting heavy fishing out another plug

"NOnonono please Henry no moreIi cant-I came again I promise I did please don't get the wand out!" You panicked pleading with him as his hand disappeared into the box pushing back on him, he smiled waving a dildo plug on your face

"Not a wand see this is for your pussy love, to keep my cum inside you for the rest of the day.....after all you was a bad kitten" you mewled relaxing happy he wasn't going to torture you again to tired to argue you laid still as he pulled himself from you quickly plugging you up before anything could escape. You moaned and wriggled he slid you off of the counter to you feet quickly supporting you as you nearly dropped to the floor smirking a smug little smile you reached behind you to pull the tail from you he smacked your hand away

"Ohh no I think I will have you stay like this all day, at least then I know you wont answer the door" you gaped then pouted at him crossing your arms at him

"A-all day? What if I get cold" he chuckled walking across to the sofa throwing you his tshirt you quickly tried slipping it on but dropped it due to your mittens you sulked stamping a foot he pulled on his boxers then returned picking up the tshirt sliding it on you then quickly undid the mittens you flexed your fingers when they were free , he collected the damp towel on the floor wiping down your thighs and between your legs you took the other end patting his pelvis down blushing realizing just how much mess you'd made you looked down still wiping him tears sprung to your eyes sniffling

"Oh god this is so embarrassing" could hear the quiver in your voice, ready to cry out of shame he growled not having non of that he shook his head hooking his fingers into your collar pulling you up on your tiptoes forcing you to look him in the eye.

"Not its fucking hot! I cant believe how sexy that was feeling you cum so thoroughly, drenching me uncontrollably, fuck it was the most amazing feeling! And I cant wait to make you soak me again and again, one day I’m going to drink it from you." You blushed shocked by his words as he leaned in kissing you passionately sucking on your tongue he pulled away tossing the towel into the washing machine then pulled the leather cuffs from the loops in the mittens throwing then in as well quickly turning it on to rinse and dry. Then quickly he scooped you up settling back on the couch, you squirmed pulling the tail from under you he held it up your back lightly  then handed you the controller.

"Now show me your Jurassic park d-did you let the t rex out?" You smiled giggling at him nodding then snugged back into him as you started making a new paddock in the game. These next few months were going to be the best of your life if today was anything to go by.

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

[yeojaa]

TO THE MOON AND BACK - ft. ???

You feel winded and you're not sure why.  Like you'd been walking on cloud nine and were now falling through the atmosphere, plummeting toward the ground at incredible speeds.  When you speak, it doesn't really sound like you.  "Yes."  Because he was exactly right - you were a hopeless romantic.  Always had been.  It was hard not to be when your parents were childhood sweethearts and love was the thing you'd been chasing your whole life.

alt summary.  You use your one brain cell for love.  It doesn’t always end well.

pairing.  who knows, honestly.  the obvious ones are kim taehyung and jeon jungkook, though.  

tags.  blind date, strangers, strangers to friends, strangers to lovers, getting to know each other, alternate universe, alternate universe - modern setting, romantic comedy, fluff, slow burn, smut, pining, unrequited love.

rating.  ... 18+?

word count.  ~7600

chapter 8.  

You're reminded of how hard things like this are for you, anxiety digging its dull claws into the pit of your stomach and making the slow crawl up your sternum.  It's not painful, per se, but the ache is there, evident with each swipe of your tongue, each persistent checking of your phone.  You thrive on your own - much prefer it to the demand that sits heavy on your shoulders, working to coax you from your shell.

It's not that the people weren't nice.  No, everyone was perfectly lovely.  

Taehyung's friends had gone out of their way to chat with you.  That is, except for Yoongi, who'd sat in silence next to you for the duration of time it took to eat his slice of cake - strawberry, you noted with deep satisfaction.  He'd simply nodded when he'd finished, plate spotless, and walked off, back in the direction of the kitchen.  

Even all of Gahyeon's friends were charming, the kind of people you'd want to grow up with.  Beautiful women with the same sweet smile and flirtation on their fingertips;  appealing men that had laughter rolling off them in tremendous waves as they shared inside jokes.  They'd been incredibly kind, involving you as often as they could, asking about your life and interests and hobbies.  

No, you didn't have a problem with anyone there.  Well, maybe that wasn't true.

Perhaps you were a little frustrated, coloured a muddy green by the monster that lurked behind your uncomfortable smile.  You shouldn't have been, though, and that was what drove you mad, pink swiping over your bottom lip in repetitive motions.  Not even your Dior Lip Glow - brought out for special occasions and a far cry from your bubble gum balm - could save you.

Because he was right there.  So close you could've closed the distance with an outstretched arm, curled your fingers around the turn of his silver-linked wrist and distracted him.  Not that you would.  Of course not.

You were here with someone else and well, he could do what he wanted.

The knowledge does little to quell the ache in your chest, though.

You'd always known Jungkook's effect on people - had felt it firsthand.  The way he could make you feel like you were the only person in the world, as if every thought you had was worthy of his time.  You knew the way he laughed, that godforsaken witch's cackle somehow endlessly endearing.  Even those two larger-than-usual front teeth of his could be considered positive traits.  They all amounted to more than you could ever begin to put into words.  

So you try to ignore the way the sound nearly smothers you now, pervades your senses and beats against your eardrums.  You turn your focus on something else - anything else - to forget the pealing bells of the girl he's speaking with and how, together, it sounds like music.  You bite at nothing, gnashing your molars into oblivion when her voice joins the fray, velveteen and promising.  You can imagine the way she looks at him - the same way you had, maybe still did - and how he'd be honey in her hands, seeping between her fingers.  

"Actually, I know Jiyeon, too."  

Your name tears you from your thoughts, snaps you into reality with a harsh tug.  The same feeling comes physically, but far gentler.  It's a hand on the back of your arm, just above your elbow.  You almost flinch - almost - turning with what you hope is surprise and nonchalance on your face.

"Pardon?"  The single word is laced with enough emotion to explode on impact, breaking across the dusty line of your obliterated enamel and slipping into the sharp evening breeze.  Whether Dahye - you think that's her name - notices, you're not sure.  She simply meets your stare with a pretty smile, delicate chin canted in curiosity.

It's Jungkook that has you reeling back, working desperately to rearrange your emotions, because whatever he'd expected to find in the shape of your mouth, the depth of your eyes - it isn't this. 

The second feels like an eternity before it's swept up in the turn of his lips and his lovable laugh.  

"I was just telling Jihye—"  Dammit, wrong name.  "—that we know each other."  Something sweeps along the undercurrent of his response, tickling at the ends of syllables without overwhelming.  Your eyes narrow, trying to read the answer he offers and everything in between.

Once upon a time, you'd thought you could read him like a book.  Now, you're not so sure.  The invisible ink disappears into his skin, the spaces between his teeth.  They're not shades of gold, gleaming bright for your eyes only.

"What a small world,"  Jihye chirps, ever the benign figure.  "Did you go to school together?"  

He answers before you can, nodding in affirmation.  "We were both doing art degrees.  We got paired up for a few projects and helped each other out of tight spots."  It shouldn't hurt, the way he speaks so nonchalantly.  You should be bobbing along, offering casual anecdotes that give truth to his words.  Instead, you feel as if you're six feet under and clawing at your own grave, sealed there by a one Jeon Jungkook.

Opening your mouth feels like a colossal chore and you're worried you won't be able to speak around the dirt that bites into your lungs.  It tastes bitter and angry - gasoline and saltwater. 

Neither of them notice, though, Jihye already somehow - no, you knew exactly how - enthralled in some story he's telling.  He was an expert at that, after all, weaving colourful pictures with all the practice of Shakespeare.  He'd done it for four years straight, dragging you through the fables that littered his brain. 

"I'm going to get another drink,"  you announce, out of the blue, in the middle of their stupid mellifluous laughter.  

Jihye waves as you leave.  Jungkook would do the same, if he didn't feel locked in place by the sight of your retreating figure.

You make your way through dispersed throngs of people, greeting familiar faces when you pass them.  There's Hoseok and Gahyeon standing together by the main entryway, the leading roles in a romance as they duck their heads and giggle together.  Jin's booming voice can be heard from the kitchen, somewhere behind the state-of-the-art appliances because you can't see him.  The familiar lilac of Namjoon's crown catches your eye exiting what you assume is the washroom, his beer held loosely between two fingers.

"Kim seongsangnim!"  The title has him turning his head slowly, as if surprised.  You know he isn't, spy it in the flat line of his smile.  Still, he puts on a show, glancing this way and that to figure out who has called out to him.

It isn't until you're right in front of him, head barely clearing the slope of his jaw, that he exclaims.  "Oh, Jiyeon-ah."

"Do you know where Taehyung went?"  The question doesn't surprise him as he cocks his head toward what you assume is the rear of the home.  "He, Jimin, and Yoongi-hyung are all downstairs.  I was just heading back."  Without missing a beat, you follow after him, trading your now-empty champagne flute for another on the kitchen island when you pass.

"Gahyeon's really nice,"  you muse, trailing after the other.  You know you don't need to fill the silence, but you try anyway.

The producer hums in agreement.  "Yeah, she is.  I think she's good for Hope."  You're not sure what that means but you're glad, all things considered.  The two were like sunflowers, craning for warmer weather and rays;  it made you happy they'd found each other.

"And what about everyone else?"  It's a question that comes after a moment's hesitation.  Your relationship with he and Yoongi had changed over the weeks, morphed into something more relaxed, but you still wondered where that invisible line sat.  You worried, briefly, that you'd thrown yourself across it when Namjoon tosses a look over his shoulder.

"What do you mean?"  There's no disapproval in his tone, only careful curiosity.

"Do any of you have someone special in your lives?"  Another pause, tasting the inquiry before it can get you in trouble.  "Or is anyone catching your eye here?"

You're treated with a laugh and that relieves the tension you're carrying, dragging it off your shoulders with the sound.  

"It's not my place to say,"  Namjoon answers, unflappable.  The respect he has for his friends is unparalleled.  You like that about him.  You feel silly for asking, though he continues speaking, voice softly amused.  "I don't think any of us are going to find our next true loves here, though."

Your head cocks.  He sounds so sure.  "Why not?"

"Didn't you notice that's what most of these girls are looking for?  It's hardest to find something when you're actively seeking it out."  

Now that he mentioned it, you had noticed the way the other guests had seemed to make a beeline for the six - no, five - men who were otherwise strangers.  You'd thought it was a little odd but had chalked it up to their good looks and whatever Gahyeon had shared about them.  It clicks into place more slowly than it should.  "Oh."

Namjoon chuckles but the sound is friendly, strings of mockery few and far between.  "Exactly."

"Jiyeon-ah!  You've come to join us!"  The sandy strands catch the light before you see the rest of him, Jimin's head popping up over the back of some very comfortable looking chairs.  He's half-turned to face you, beaming brightly as another head ascends into view beside him.

"She has a viewing room?"  You can't help the way you sound, incredulous and envious all at once.  Maybe you'd have to offer to be her live-in maid.  

"Isn't it great?"  Taehyung's at your side in an instant, brushing past Namjoon who settles into a seat a few feet away.  You wave at Yoongi who's sequestered in a corner, playing with his phone and nursing a sizable glass of red wine, before meeting your boyfriend's stare.  "I wasn't sure where you went but we got distracted in here."  He sounds a little guilty, his lips soft against your cheek.

Your hand finds a home against his chest and you apply minimal pressure - the laziest rebuff you can possibly offer and one he ignores, arms looping comfortably around your waist.  "You left me with the wolves."  There's absolutely no malice in your words.

"They're not wolves!  Everyone's really nice!"  Jimin's not wrong.  

"I'm kidding,"  you tease.  "Though, Hoseok oppa might disagree."  The sound of your snicker is amplified by the others' amusement, even Yoongi who looks up from his phone with a smug gummy smile.

"Did I hear my name?"  The devil has materialized seemingly out of thin air, hip cocked as he descends the stairs.  Luckily, he's alone.  

"No!"  You and Jimin chorus in near unison, sharing a conspiratorial grin before laying the rest of your charm - which you possessed nearly nothing of, in comparison to Jimin - on the suspicious brunet.

"Where's Gahyeon?"  Taehyung verbalizes the question you're all thinking.  

"Upstairs.  She sent me to come get you."  The answer is followed by a sniff, a wave of his hand as if he's indignant about whatever's been said.  You know he isn't - and so does everyone else - but you play along like good sports, hmm-ing thoughtfully and expressing your thanks.  "They want to play some get-to-know-you games.  One of her friends is a teacher so she thought it was a good idea."

You meet Yoongi's stare over Taehyung's shoulder and you're pleasantly surprised he looks just as unimpressed as you feel.  It makes you chuckle, stifling the sound into the collar of Taehyung's shirt.

"What are we, in sixth grade?"  Despite the roll of feline eyes, Yoongi has risen from his seat and stepped closer to the stairs.  

"Yes, you are."  Hoseok's response is emphatic, as if he's talking to children.  Then he's grinning, turning on his heel, and disappearing back the way he came.  "Come on, kids!"  

That garners a response, the remaining five of you shouting after him but doing as you're told, nonetheless, filing back up to the main floor.  

"Jiyeon-ah, come sit!"  Gahyeon's beckoning you from her seat, cross-legged and comfortable.  There are open seats to both sides, and you sink into the one on her right, offering a grateful smile that she returns with ease.  "Everyone, sit beside someone you don't know."  

The look on Taehyung's face is that of a kicked puppy as she pointedly meets his gaze, gesturing for him to take up root elsewhere.  You can't help but laugh, waving apologetically at your boyfriend's back as he drops into a spot across the loose circle, flanked by two girls that greet him warmly.  

It surprises you how little it bothers you.

"I guess I'm here."  

The last person you want beside you is joining you on the couch, Jihye nowhere in sight. He's got his hood up around his head, pulled forward like some kind of Sith Lord, and you can't ignore such a golden opportunity for mockery.

"Sorry - I'm not the droid you're looking for, Darth Vader."  God, you're proud of that one, amusement twinkling in your eyes. 

"Oh, right."  

He makes a movement as if he's about to move but then whips around just as quickly, hand out, palm facing you.  You take the bait, fingers flying to your throat in a dramatic re-enactment of the famous scene.  You sputter around an obnoxious gasp, eyes rolling back as he laughs, the sound purposefully - and truthfully, very poorly - rasped out.  

It's only when Gahyeon speaks that you're reminded of where you are and who you're with.  You're immediately sober, straightening up at the same time Jungkook does.

"So, we're going to play some games to get to know everyone."  No one dares scoff at the proposed activity.  At least, not to her face.  No one wants to see her angelic smile drop - or deal with whatever eccentric wrath Hoseok might unleash.  "First, we'll do two truths and a lie.  Pretty self-explanatory, right?"  A single hand rises now, delicately presenting her generous glass of Riesling.  Mischief dances across her expression.  "Everyone will say which they think is the lie.  For those that get it right, you don't have to drink.  For those that do, a sip of your drink!"

"And no baby sips, either!"  Her partner-in-crime choruses, raising his shot glass.  

You study the near-full flute in your hand.  Should you grab another?

"I've got you covered,"  comes the soft voice from your right and you follow the path of his fingers to the assorted soju bottles by his feet.  A brow quirks in silent question and you meet his stare like a concerned mother.  "Hobi-hyung told me to stock up before he went to get the rest of you."

You snort.  "Well, you definitely did."

"Keep it up and you won't get any."  His threat is rounded edges and hardly a threat at all. 

It's so easy to get lost in a world with him, one miles away from this one.  You have to bite back your response, instead returning your attention to the blonde on your left.

"I'll go first,"  she chirps, all sunshine and smiles.  "I'm twenty-seven, I model, and I'm related to Shin Kwangho."  The conspiratorial smile you receive is well-intended, but you're still dumbfounded for the right answer.  You hadn't thought to ask how old she was or what she did and neither she nor Hoseok had offered anything up over the course of the evening.  

Could you see him dating an older woman?  Well, yes.  But was she also beautiful enough to be featured on the cover of magazines?  Also, yes.

Your brow furrows, fraught with confusion, and you barely hear the whisper above your right shoulder.  "She's older than Hobi-hyung."

"Okay, at the count of three, please indicate with your fingers which you think is a lie."  You think she'd be a wonderful MC or variety show hostess by the way she patiently studies the room, making sure each other person is ready.  She's very much in her element now, surrounded by people she (mostly) intimately knows.  "One, two— three!"

Your hand flies up, two fingers held up.  Beside you, and along the circle, the same is reflected by most people.  

"I'm not a model.  I'm an art dealer."  It's only Jin that's gotten the answer wrong.  

He takes a swig from his bottle, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand in a flourish before bowing to the winners.  "I won't lose again,"  he promises.  Yoongi laughs at that - a sound you hardly catch from where you sit, but that you can read in the way his lips pull back and his eyes crinkle.  

"Your turn, Jiyeon-ah!"

Shit.  You hadn't expected it to go counterclockwise.  You scramble for facts and settle for stealing one of Gahyeon's.  "I'm twenty-two, I have a cat, and um—"  You're trying to think of a last one, your cheeks filling with air as you inhale deeply, seeking an epiphany in the breath.  "—I play the piano."

You're not sure who will get it right.  Jungkook, maybe.  Taehyung, too.  You're not sure how much you've revealed to Namjoon and Yoongi but you know they have a better chance.

"One, two— three!"  Gahyeon's quick this time.  She can read the room.

The results are varied, with most people holding two fingers aloft.  As predicted, Jungkook's got his pointer finger in the air, pride stretching his smile and revealing adorable bunny teeth;  Yoongi joins him in the realms of success and so do a handful of others who'd simply hazarded guesses.  "I'm twenty-three.  Sorry, everyone."

"But you’re twenty-two."  The confusion reads like playful belligerence, filling the otherwise quiet circle as people take their requisite drinks.  Taehyung's brow is knit, mouth drawn into a flat pout.  He looks so cute, you almost want to give him a pity point.

Jungkook answers for you, shaking his head as his hand drops into his lap.  "No, she's twenty-three."

The older of the two ignores the correction.  "You said you were twenty-two."  

"It was my birthday after we met."  

"You didn't tell me?"  Now that stirs the group, unease drawing forth conversation as it that might stifle the sudden discomfort.  Even Gahyeon looks like she's at a loss for words, turning to Hoseok with a look of alarm in her eyes.

You're locked in a staring match with your boyfriend, unable to read the emotion that flickers across his face.  

"Okay, let's keep moving!"  It's Hoseok to the rescue, clapping his hands to gather everyone's attention once again.  Taehyung breaks before you do, swivelling his stare to his friend as you heave a sigh.  You'll deal with this later.  "Jungkookie, it's your turn."

You feel him stir beside you, sitting up ever so slightly straighter as he speaks.  "I have less than ten tattoos, I'm lactose intolerant, and I've been to Disneyland."  You don't even have to think about your answer.  He drank banana milk like he was made of it and he'd taken you to the happiest place on Earth for your birthday two years ago.

"One, two— three!"  

Your pointer finger shoots up, as does Namjoon's, Yoongi's, and Jimin's.  Jin's does, too, after a moment of hesitation.  He seems eager not to lose again - at least, not so soon.  Almost everyone else seems to have gone with the lactose intolerance lie.

"I've got more than ten tattoos."  As if to prove it, Jungkook waves his hand around, showing off the ink that litters his otherwise unblemished skin.  

People take their losses easily and the game continues, rolling to the girl next to Jungkook.  She's beautiful in a girl-next-door kind of way, with pretty eyes and thin petal pink lips.  She lists her facts:  half Japanese, born in America, and a former idol trainee.  Everything seems about as preposterous as the next, so you don't think too hard, instead taking the time to rib your seatmate.

"The tattoo thing wasn't fair.  You shouldn't get to use absolutes."  You don't really mind - you hadn't lost, after all, but you like giving him a hard time.

He accepts it easily, allows it to slip off his broad back like a duck in water.  "And you should've told TaeTae it was your birthday."

You’re not sure what you’d expected.  He wasn’t wrong.  No, not even a little bit.  But you’re immediately on the offensive, mouth drawing into a flat line, sharp as the blade that seeks to slot between your ribs and remind you of your failures.

“I know.”  You're begrudging, words barely audible behind your cage of teeth.  They're coloured black and blue from an internal assault that drips saltwater into your lungs and has emotion sloshing over the edges like a too-full cup.

He should let it go.  Your relationship isn’t the kind where he can ask these sort of things still - and yet he does.  Wants to know for reasons he’s not quite ready to face.  “Why didn’t you?”

Your answer comes slowly, following a sip of your champagne.  Like a good third of the room, you’d guessed wrong.

“We’d just met.  I didn’t want to bring it up and make it seem like I expected anything.”  

Jungkook has to bite back a laugh because your reasoning is so very you it hurts.  “Telling someone it’s your birthday isn’t a bad thing, Jiyeon-ah.”  The shrug that rolls over your shoulders and tucks your chin against your chest would indicate otherwise. 

He can’t help but sigh and turn his gaze to the next person, carefully choosing his words as he does his next answer.

(It was definitely three.  There was no way she’d never had a boyfriend.)

“Imagine if you were in his shoes,”  he reasons, finally allowing his eyes to flit back to your face.  You’re focused on some point at your feet, not meeting his stare.  “Honestly, neither of you are in the wrong.  The fact that it’s coming out here, among a bunch of strangers, probably sucks, though.”

You won’t look at him but he can tell you’re listening, sees it in the telltale flex of your jaw and pursing of your mouth.

“Anyway, you should talk to him later.  Explain yourself.  He’ll appreciate that.” 

“I know,”  you say in a small voice that tugs at his heartstrings. 

Right then and there, he wants to tell you everything you want to hear �� lace together stories of happier days and stronger bonds.  But it hurts a little, too, so he doesn’t. 

He might want those things for you but he wants them with him.

“You got that wrong.”  You choose to break the silence with a teasing prod, single digit digging into the taut line of his side.  He blinks at you, surprised by the abrupt change in your mood.  He knows it’s a façade – can practically see the mask lining your skin and fading into the strands at your temple.  You’re holding yourself a little too tightly, the jab a touch too hard to be relaxed.

He takes the shot-sized swig without complaint, all the while meeting your eyes over the mouth of the green glass bottle. 

“Careful.”  It’s less of a reprimand than a gentle reminder, uttered quietly into the shell of your ear.  Even at such a close proximity, it feels far away, shrouded in cotton balls and sugar dust.

You take a second to collect your thoughts, momentarily surprised by the weight of your tongue.  You mull over this newfound sensation as it drags in your mouth, swipes lewdly over your bottom lip.  “’m fine.”  It comes out sounding anything but, vaguely slurred and off-kilter.  Still, you push yourself straight – hands steadied against warmth that sears into your palms and flexes with the movement. 

That’s not right.

You blink owlishly, eyes tracking movement much slower than you’d intended, and you find yourself drawn into the blinding glory of a smile.  It’s amused, lips drawn wide around laughter that sinks into your eardrums and settles like feathers, further buffering the words that slip out in between each breath.

“You’re drunk.”  Jungkook sounds terribly entertained when you settle back down, temporarily forgetting your earlier decision to stand up.  You were too comfortable, caught between his solid form and the seat cushions.

“I’m not drunk!”  And you’re not.  A bit tipsy, perhaps.  There’s a pleasant glow at the edges of your vision, heat warming you from the inside out as if there’s fire and brimstone in your chest.  Sure, things might be moving a bit too slowly – or too quickly, depending on the moment – for your liking but it’s not enough to make you feel sick.  It’s just vertigo when you move.  You’d be fine.

Another laugh, softer this time, for your sake.  He can see the petulance in your stare, the way you huff dramatically as you all but toss yourself against the back of the couch.  It’s so dangerous when you’re this close and so beguiling.  “Fine, you’re not drunk,”  he agrees in a voice that isn’t very believable.  “But you are something.” 

“Yeah, she is.”  A new voice – a familiar voice, you think.  Your head swivels, searching for the sound, and lands with a dull thud on the man towering over your shoulder, handsome face scrutinising your own.

“Kim Taehyung!”  The excitement forces its way out, spreading like honey over your lips and teeth and coating the words.  You’re vibrating with delight, entire body shifting to hold yourself over the back of the couch.  The movements aren’t nearly as smooth as you’d hoped, your knee knocking harshly into Jungkook’s hip, but you find your way there.  “Where’ve you been?”

If he’s annoyed, he doesn’t show it, boxy smile tugging his mouth into the shape with ease.  He’s got a hand on the side of your face, fingers threading into the downy softness at your nape.  “You fell asleep on poor Jungkookie.”

The realization is unpleasant, shame climbing the column of your spine and settling comfortably into the hollow of your throat.

“I did what?”  You think you might’ve screeched the words if you weren’t on the edge of inebriation, embarrassment painting your face in shades of scarlet and roses.  It blooms beneath your cheeks and sinks into every other visible part of you, tipping your ears and nose brightly.

“Yeah, you’re really bad at calling people on their bullshit.”  The broad figure beside you has the smuggest expression on his face.  If you hadn’t just used him as your own personal pillow, you might’ve smacked it off.

As it stands, that’s probably not the best way to say thank you.

“I thought I was doing fine.”  There’s that competitive edge, mirrored between your brows and in your words.

“You were,”  your boyfriend reassures, quick to placate you.  “But you don’t know many people so I think halfway through the first round, it kind of just went downhill.”  You appreciate that he’s trying to make you feel better, softening the blow with his sweet smile and sweeter words.

“Then how come you’re fine?”  You demand like it’s a personal affront.

“I don’t drink, remember?”

Okay, fair.  “And what about you?”  You’ve rounded on Jungkook, finger pressed into the centre of his chest, right over his solar plex. 

“I’m not a lightweight.”  He’s the opposite of Taehyung – completely okay with obliterating your ego, if only because you’re not not-drunk and anything he says won’t be remembered anyway.  That, and it’s just too funny to see you all riled up, inhaling sharply as if to rebuff his words. 

You look comical as your hands fly to your hips.  It’s less so when you teeter in your half-reclined position, feet unsteady beneath your folded weight as you dare to tip back an inch too far.  

Jungkook’s immediately reaching out, palm pressed to the small of your back to prevent you from toppling over, and Taehyung’s hand on your shoulder is gripping you tightly. 

“Watch it!”  Spoken in unison and shared with a look.

If you weren’t so grateful, you’d groan and tell them to get a room.  “Okay, okay!”  With their respective touches anchoring you in place, your hands fly up in surrender, held aloft in front of your face like some sort of white flag.  “I’ll take it easy.”

“We should actually probably head home.”  The words have you focusing hard, fuzzy attention turning to take stock of your surroundings.  Most people – though there seem to be far less of them than when you’d less counted - seem to be edging toward the main foyer, ushered into the night by the gracious goodbyes of the hosts. 

“What time is it?”  You ask in the same instance you’re rising, feet landing on solid ground unsteadily.  You wave off the hands that dart towards you, a bashful frown stirring across our chapped lips.

“Just after midnight.”  Taehyung as he rounds the couch to you, fingers finding yours with ease before he tugs you close against his side.  You’re not sure whether it’s for your benefit or his but you sink easily into him, head settling against his shoulder.

You try to ignore the way the third in your party turns away, hands jamming into the pouch of his hooded sweatshirt.  He remains steadfastly removed when he speaks, though he’s soft, polite.  “I’m going to see if I can help clean up.”

If his change of demeanour is evident at all, Taehyung gives no indication, simply reaching out to clap his friend on the shoulder.  “We’ll see you, then.” 

 “Get home safely, Kook.”  The words are barely out before you’re being led away.

You don’t miss how he turns at the last second, the same wistfulness you feel reflected in the quiet of his eyes.

You could very easily fall asleep like this, coaxed into dreamland by his touch.  It feels so good, so soothing, traced into the length of your side and over any exposed skin he can find.  You think he’s depositing sleeping powder with his lazy scrawl, inscribing everything left unspoken in the circular movements and sloping edges.

“Thank you for coming tonight,”  he hums happily into your neck, ignoring the way the hair there tickles his nose and gets into his eyes.  He doesn’t mind these little things when he’s locked up in this piece of paradise.

“Thank you for inviting me.”  You’re just as earnest, filled with all the eagerness of a budding relationship and untarnished by time.

Still, there are things you have to say.  Things you want to apologize for, even if they seem miles away now.

“I’m sorry about the…”  Careful, you think.  You want to express yourself clearly, paint a picture that makes sense for both of you.  Something real and true, despite your love for the abstract.  You begin again.  “I’m sorry for not telling you about my birthday and I’m sorry if that made it seem like I didn’t want to celebrate with you.”  The usual rushed nature of your speech is decidedly lacking, instead lulled into a prudently composed apology.  “We’d only known each other for a few days, and I didn’t want it to feel like an obligation.” 

You don’t mention how the day had still felt been a dream because you’d spent it with him and that was all you could’ve asked for.

Against your shoulder, you feel his chin and the clear movement of his nod. 

“I wasn’t mad,”  he reassures with a sweep of his lips, meagre over cotton.  “I felt silly—”  You don’t deserve him and his honesty, how he bares himself up to you as if it’s the easiest task in the world.  “—but I wasn’t angry and I didn’t mean to make it seem like it was.”

Your heart sings in your chest, a robin’s song that has you turning in his arms.  It’s a little awkward, first untangling your legs and then hooking your knee over his hip, but it feels necessary.  A physical token of how much you want him as you breathe life into the same verbal reminder.

“You know you’re too good at this.”  Not that you’re complaining – not that you don’t love the openness with which he holds himself to you, laid plain for your prying eyes.

“Too good at what?”  The question comes with a gift in the form of his signature smile.  It follows with a suggestive roll of his hips.

You can’t help but laugh, depositing the sound against his bare chest.  “Communicating, you animal!”  The insult is anything but reproachful, instead dangling smugly over an almost wanton intonation.  “You’re never afraid to say what’s on your mind.”

He’s got you held against him like he might swallow you whole and you don’t mind, finding peace in his warmth and softness.

“I just think if you never express how you feel, you’re never going to be able to get past it.”  You want to liken him to some sage philosopher, the comparison growing stronger when he hums thoughtfully, gaze lost somewhere above your heads.  “And I owe it to you to try, so it’s easier.  I want this to work.” 

Staring up into his face, memorizing the way his cheeks swell with his smile and his dark lashes frame eyes that crescent into pretty little moons, you understand. 

“Me too,”  you breathe, pressing a sugar sweet kiss to his bared throat. 

You don’t miss the way he tenses around you before relaxing all at once, enveloping you with every part of him.  His breath is hot in your hair, his hands familiar around your waist.  You’re not sure whether you feel it in your lips or toes when he kisses you but you know it runs through every inch of you like a sugar rush.

It’s him that’s prompting you to drag yourself closer – if that’s even possible – and it’s him that’s got you seeking his taste, dragging your tongue over his bottom lip in some sort of bid for entry.

“Who’s the animal now?”  Despite the playfulness in his tone, you can hear the creep of something else.  Hunger, need – all the same things painting your breaths.

“Still you.”  You murmur in between kisses that edge on sloppy, overly eager as they are.  “But I can be, too.”  A sharp tug at his bottom lip, edge of teeth sharp around the soft petal.  “Not mutually exclusive, you know?”  You don’t know how you’re finding words when all you want is him.  It’s hard to be coherent around the Taehyung-shaped distraction your mouth is roaming across.

“You’re feisty when you’re drunk,”  he quips, breathless against your crown when you descend further than the tantalizing slope of his neck, mouthing over the bare expanse of his honeyed chest.

The comment has you nipping gently, just enough to bloom crimson where your teeth have left little indents.  “I’m not drunk.”  Three words spoken more concisely than you have all night, driven to enunciation by sheer unabashed need.

“I’m kidding.”  It’s less of an apology and more of a purr, stoking the coals that burn heavily in the pit of your stomach.

You’re tempted to remind him of his hubris once again but are rudely stopped by firm hands that rearrange you onto your back like you’re nothing but a ragdoll.  By the way you huff, he knows you’re more than that – a girl with a beating heart and needs. 

Forearms form a cage on either side of your head, and he lingers for but a moment, only long enough to catch you in a sweet, all-encompassing kiss that has your head spinning.  You’re gasping when he withdraws, pitifully inclined to chase him when he slides further down your prone form, settling on his knees between your legs.

It’s a beautiful sight – better than the Mona Lisa or David or any of the greats.

His palm is soft on the swell of your hip, fingers tucking beneath the flimsy lace that nestles against your skin.  He continues to feel the patterns that run through the material, smoothing it once, twice, before dragging it lower and lower in marginal increments.  You feel like you might explode when it’s caught halfway down your thighs, stuck between his knee and complete freedom.

“Raise your legs, jagi.”  The request shoots electricity up your spine.  You don’t even have to think twice, doing exactly as you’re told, ankles brought parallel with your hips.

The scrap of fabric is gone then, loftily tossed across the room without a second thought. 

You almost laugh, the sound bubbling forth but replaced by a keening moan when he sinks two fingers into you.  Without time to adjust to the sudden intrusion, the burn is incredible, softened only by the slick that coats your thighs and drips over his fingers.  He stretches you lazily, with slow measured pumps of his wrist;  somehow, you’re already standing on the edge of a precipice, bliss calling your name from the abyss below.

He must see it in your face, framed between your pretty thighs that spread for him, calves resting heavily on his broad shoulders.  “You’re so wet.”  You don’t think you’ve ever been so turned on by his voice, the way the velvet depths fill your ears with a melody.  They play over the chords of your heart like practiced hands.  “So ready and beautiful.”

The realization is fully formed with his words.  You are ready.

It’s an epiphany and Taehyung – darling Taehyung – gives you exactly what you want.  He adds a third finger with the utmost care, angled in such a way that he can brush the pad of his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs.  He ghosts a kiss over your calf, words disappearing against your skin.  “Where are the condoms?”

You can’t even bring yourself to feel shame as you gesture wildly toward your side table.  It’s just out of range for you but he closes the distance easily, his much longer reach allowing him to dip into the confines of the drawer. 

Seeing the packet in his slender, capable fingers has your pulse speeding up, a nervous flush colouring your entire body.  You know it isn’t unease that has you quivering, a bow strung too tightly beneath him.

“Please, Tae,”  you can’t help the way you sound when he withdraws his fingers and - god have mercy on your poor soul - sucks the digits into his mouth.  Glistening with your arousal, they disappear between pouting lips and return pristinely clean.

“Yes, jagi?” 

He’s teasing you, taking his time in tugging his boxers off.  You think you’d be mad if he weren’t so flawless, golden perfection sat bare before you.  When you don’t respond, he takes his time in tearing the corner of the package and discarding same off the side of the bed.  His movements are excruciating as he pinches the tip and rolls the condom over the leaking swollen head of his cock.

“What do you need?”  The way he winds you up should be illegal, as should his expression when he drops back onto the bed, settling between your bent knees.  There’s only darkness in his eyes, the entire ring of hazel engulfed by pupils that threaten to devour you.

You reach for him, a child seeking the thing they love most.  You half expect him to draw away and giddily coo when he leans into your hands, allows his angelic face to be cradled between your palms.

“You.  I want you.”  No, that’s not quite right.  “I need you.”

You think you might’ve given him the great gift in the world when he beams, shattering every wall of yours and sweeping shadows from your insides.  He’s glorious sunshine, consuming warmth that pervades every inch.  Sliding forward, his arm falls into place at the side of your face, delicate touch drifting through the silk of your hair.  “Tell me how badly.”  He asks so sweetly, you can’t deny him.

“So badly.  Like I haven’t needed anything before.”  Perhaps loose lips could sink ships, but you think they might also find buried treasure.  You’re certain of it when you pull him to you, his frame fitting snugly against yours - a missing puzzle piece.

You feel him, heavy and hot between your legs.  The way he rocks against you has you pawing at his chest, hands falling from his cherubic face.  He rocks himself forward experimentally, enticed by the ease with which his straining cock glides through your folds, never delivering in the promise you so terribly need fulfilled. 

“Tae,”  you whine, features twisted into a picture of anguish as he catches your clit and then disappears.  He doesn’t move again, instead studying your face as if he might find the answers to all of life’s questions buried in your smile, the lashes that flutter up at him.

“I’ve got you.”  He does – hook, line, and sinker.

And then he pushes into you with one fluid flex of his hips.  He fits into you like you were made for him, your aching walls drawing him deeper and deeper until he’s bottomed out and snuggled between your legs.  You immediately lock your ankles around him, heels digging into his back in a bid to bring him closer.

It takes herculean effort to not fuck you until you’re seeing stars but Taehyung’s reward is the way you look. 

He wants to imprint it into his memory forever.  The way your mouth falls open, lips parted around his name like a prayer.  How your back arches and he wants to bury his face into your cleavage.

“So beautiful, Jiyeon.”  He finds you somehow, driven by the insatiable need to swallow your moans off your tongue.  He sets a leisurely pace that has him drawing out slowly to admire every drag of you around his cock and you whine each time he nearly fully withdraws before thrusting back into you with a heart-wrenching smile.  He loves the way you sound, all needy and breathless.  “You feel so good,”  he murmurs against your mouth, tongue dragging lasciviously over the corner where your own lolls.  “Taste so good, too.”

In true fashion, you’re filled with delight at the praise, raising your hips to meet each measured, tantalizing roll of his.  “Please, Tae.  Please.”  You’re not sure what you’re asking for, only that you need more.  There’s a molten lava burning through you, swallowing everything in its sight, but it isn’t enough.

“Please what?”   He’s straightening above you and reclining, dragging your legs from around him until they’re resting in the crook of each elbow.  It’s a powerful position that has him admiring every curve of your body, his cock twitching as he smoothly pushes into you again.  He can feel your need like an onerous wave but he’s feeling playful.

“Fuck me!”  It explodes out of your mouth, wrenched forth by the teasing he’s been doling out.

“But I am,”  he sounds almost dejected when he says that and your eyes snap open only to be greeted by his too-smug grin.  He knows exactly what he’s doing.

Two can play that game.  “Well, then do better.” 

That’s what pushes him to your figurative level, dragging him to hell.  He grips your hips in his hands and tugs you forward with little care, burying himself to the hilt with a sharp breath.  You quake with the sudden aggression and mewl with delight when he begins ramming into you with purpose, meeting his each and every thrust eagerly.

This is what you needed – to be consumed wholly, in no half measures.

“Oh, Tae.”  His name barely makes it into the air when it’s snapped back with a gasp.  The pad of his thumb is sweeping over your clit in time with each of his thrusts.  It’s insistent, near punishing, as he pistons into you. 

He's no longer Cupid playing a harp, drawing you slowly but surely to the edge;  he's Lucifer in a mad descent toward Earth and you're caught in his wings.  The knowledge that he's there at the edge with you, fingers laced with yours as he dives toward release, has you clenching around him.  Fingers seek purchase anywhere you can find it.  First down his back, carving mountain ranges over muscle, and then into his inky strands, tugging with abandon.  You're so close you can feel it, a sob wrenched forth when he shifts and the new angle has him dragging over your g-spot with each thrust.

Between the pitching moans and your fluttering walls, he's free-falling, entire body vibrating with tension.  He snaps forward with a wrecked grunt, signalling his impending doom.  "Come with me, jagi.  Please."  His hips stutter, his motions uncoordinated and sloppy as he chases his end.  

When Taehyung's lips find yours once again, your own name returned to you with aching adoration, you join him. 

White paints your vision and the inside of latex and you're unravelling, held only to the physical plane by arms that soothe over every part they can touch.  Over your thighs, across your hips, up and back over the swell of your heaving chest.  Even half-wrecked and fumbling, he's an angel, taking care of you like it's his job.  He guides sweet nothings into the shell of your ear, his tongue laving hotly over your neck, as he slows his thrusts, finally coming to a sated standstill. 

"Are you okay?"  With the fucked out look in his eyes and the way he gingerly extracts himself from your arms, pressing kisses to every salt-sweet part of you as he goes, he's divine.  Even the very mundane task of knotting the condom and tossing it into the trashcan beside your bed is somehow ethereal.  You don't think you'll get over it.

"One hundred percent."

notes.  a small part of me was like, "why is there so much debauchery?" but then i thought, "why not."  

anyway, the next chapter will explore her and jungkook's relationship through flashbacks, as well as some good ol' bro bonding and other goodness. 

thank you for reading, as always!  xo

[cryoculus]

More love for Semi please? Anything will do, your writing is exquisite in any form anyway :D

» Word Count: 1,857 wordsCross-posted on AO3

SORRY THIS IS SO LATE :(( I actually wrote three chapters’ worth of content for him already and you can read the whole thing on the ao3 link.(NOTE: This is based on the current events of the final arc of the Haikyuu manga. I tagged it as a spoiler but I won’t really go into the specifics of what’s going on. Semi is our main focus here ^__^)

—

“Please?”

“No,” was your flat reply.

Semi heaved a long sigh, mouth twitching into an irritated grimace. You returned his reaction with a sassy look of your own—one, finely penciled brow quirked as bright, red lips rivalled the adamance that Semi brought about. While you were in no position to tell him to just go back to his cubicle and get today’s work done (you, sadly, held the same position in office), you at least had the right to turn him down. Your department had a monthly financial report coming up. Why on Earth did he want your help writing a song?

“Come on,” he groaned. “You know I’d eat my fist first before asking for your help, but our manager really digs your old pieces from college.”

Your eye twitched.

“Way to beg for someone’s aid in a time of dire need,” you bit back sarcastically. “Go do it then.”

“What?”

“Eat your whole fist.” You gave him a pointed look, even making a show of paying attention by putting your pen down.

Your co-worker let out a frustrated groan, fingers carding through his messy, ashen hair. The gesture made the tattoos on his chest visible for a second, before disappearing again behind his barely done button-up. It was a mystery, how a man like him made it as a public servant—with his flamboyant piercings and tip-dyed hair—but you supposed you should learn to look past physical appearances. The agency allowed it, so why should you make a fuss?

Ah, right. Semi Eita was the most hot-headed man in your department, and he had a knack for picking fights with you.

“If you get the balance sheet done by five o'clock, I might reconsider,” you told him, not really meaning the words, as you directed your attention back at the paperwork on your desk. Balance sheets are the toughest to fill out, since the data needed had to be collated from different sectors of the city. You highly doubted that Semi, with his thinner-than-a-strand-of-hair patience, could finish it in one sitting.

“Deal.”

Your gaze hardened as you looked back up at him. “Come again?”

“Are you deaf?” he asked, folding lean arms across his chest. “I said it’s a deal.”

You couldn’t help the snort that made its way past your lips. Whatever his reasons may be, it was painfully obvious that he was desperate. But still. You knew that he wouldn’t be able to carry out the deed in your given deadline, but instead of talking him out of his own agreement, you merely shook your head in acceptance.

Semi eventually stalked off to his cubicle; the one just in front of yours. There was a divider that separated each employee’s workspace from the others, and it at least granted some semblance of privacy from outside gazes. You’ve been to Semi’s cubicle a couple of times—more to coordinate paperwork than engage in conversation, really—and he decorated his personal space exactly how a part-time rock band vocalist would. Though he didn’t exactly put up posters and painted the walls black, he added his own flair to his desk with guitar figurines, neon stickers on his desktop, and a photo of his bandmates enclosed in a sparkly picture frame.

The only reason you bothered looking so closely was the fact that you also went to the same university together (under the same degree, too!) You’ve always been keen around him, with his loud way of living, as opposed to you, who’s always chosen to live simply and without pretentiousness. Sure, the disparity between your lifestyles had caused you to be at each other’s throats since freshman year, but it was still a surprise that your synergy was top notch. You would, as Semi put it so delicately, eat your fist first before admitting to the fact, but it’s a given that you preferred to work with him instead of other, unfamiliar people.

You sighed, brandishing a bored look at the bleak document in front of you. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to help him out…

But when you recalled every time he’s talked over you during board meetings, sneered at you when he got a higher score during exams, and his distateful behavior in general, you steeled your resolve.

Either he’s going to get that balance sheet over with or he’ll keel over. If he wanted your help, he’s going to have to work for it.

—

You were in the middle of fixing your belongings when the sound of a stack of papers hitting your desk rang in your ears.

“There,” Semi said breathlessly, making you look up at him in surprise. He even tossed a flash drive on top of the papers he deposited, where you saw the city hall’s heading printed in full color. You reluctantly checked your phone for the time. 16:57, it said, in a mockingly bold typeface before shoving it in your pocket.

The damn guy really did get it done before five.

“The electronic document is saved in there, in case you lose the print.” He was panting at this point, and you had a vague idea as to why he looked like he just ran a marathon. The one printer in your department (this year’s budget was cut) broke down a few days ago, and the nearest functional one was at the Logistics office three floors down.

Still refusing to believe it, you peered at the documents he just brought in. You scanned each of the entries printed on each page. That’s when you realized that Sendai City’s expenses have skyrocketed since the new year because the list of expenses occupied a whole page alone. A worried sigh made its way past your lips, but at least the liabilities were cut down to a minimum. You heard that the governor of Miyagi was going to pledge a few hundred thousand yen for the city’s founding anniversary, too.

You paused. Blinking, you rearranged the papers neatly back into its pile—biting back the urge to clutch your wounded pride. Semi was looking at you expectantly, like he wanted you to praise his flawless bookkeeping.

In actuality, his determination was beginning to freak you out.

“Why do you want me to help you so badly?” you asked, voice almost trembling. “Seriously, dude. I thought we hated each other. Quit acting out of character.”

“I told you, our manager really liked the songs you composed back in senior year,” he drawled, tired of having to repeat himself.

Your face twisted in confusion. “Who even is this manager of yours?”

There was a half-second delay in his response, but before you could paint a reason for his hesitation, he immediately replied with, “Saito. Saito Makoto.”

You stiffened, gaze going rigid at the mention of that name. “Oh.”

“Yeah. If I manage to give him a piece by the end of the month, he’ll help us sign a contract with a big-shot record label,” Semi explained, oblivious to your discomfort.

“But haven’t you been writing songs since high school?” you wondered aloud. “That’s what you said during our Pol-Gov class ice breaker.”

He frowned. “You still remember that?”

Okay. You kept forgetting that your sharp memory wasn’t always a praiseworthy thing. You gulped, feeling the heat creep up your face. “Um, anyway, the point still stands. You’ve been writing songs for God-knows-how-long, and while I’m not one to dish out compliments especially to you, I’m pretty sure they’re okay if you managed to gather a decent fanbase.”

He rolled his eyes, leaning against the divider of your cubicle. “We’re a rock band. I write rock songs, but Saito wants me to write a goddamn love song.”

Typical Saito. Though he looked like a rugged high school delinquent, he was awfully sentimental when it came to music. He was the one who inspired you to write the songs Semi was pestering you about all day after all…

“Fine,” you relented. “I never go back on my word and since you did a…good job with this, I’ll help you out.”

His light brown eyes lit up for a moment, but Semi managed to mask his relief in a split second—containing his excitement in a single nod. “Are you free this Saturday? You can come by my place and we could start getting to work.”

Well, that was forward of him. You expected to work on the song in a coffee shop or something, but he went on ahead and invited you to his own humble abode anyway. You parsed through your weekend plans in your mind, and once you confirmed that you were free, you scribbled down your phone number on a sticky note. Almost five years of acquaintance and you’d never bothered giving it to him. Huh.

“Just text me the time and place,” you told him, pocketing the flash drive as you slipped the balance sheet in one of the empty folders in your organizer. “You better not pull anything funny and lead me to a secluded alley or something.”

Semi scoffed, folding the piece of paper and sticking it inside his trousers. “As if.”

You then slung your bag across your shoulders, grinning insincerely. “Glad we’re on the same page, then.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

With that, Semi exited your cubicle, leaving you no room to wonder why he didn’t even spare a quick ‘thank you’.

Just as you were smoothing out the creases on your pencil skirt, your phone began buzzing in the pocket of your blazer. Brows raised, you fished it out and unlocked it.

From: Makohey, wanna grab some dinner? its on me :3

Speak of the devil. You swallowed the lump in your throat, fingers shakily managing to type a coherent reply.

To: MakoYeah sure. Where to tho

From: Makocan we get some italian? ik u love the udon place across the street but akane’s having dinner w her friends there

From: Makocant have her seeing us together now do we

The way he put that so casually made your chest constrict with a too-familiar sensation. You heaved a deep breath, pursing your lips into a thin line as you sent a quick “Ok” text to end your conversation. Saito replied with those iffy heart-eyed emojis that he only ever used when he wanted something from you, and you had to compose yourself so you wouldn’t burst into tears right there.

“Oi.”

You almost jumped at the sound of Semi’s voice as he peered inside your cubicle once more. He clutched his suitcase in one hand, eyeing you curiously.

“What do you want?”

“You’re headed uptown, too, right?” he asked, and you nodded reluctantly. “Thought you’d want a lift.”

“Semi, just because I’m helping you achieve your dreams, doesn’t mean you have to be nice to me.” You laughed softly, tension easing from his uncalled for kindness.

He, however, looked unconvinced. “Do you want a ride or not?”

You raised your hands in defeat, managing a genuine smile. “Alright, fine. It’ll be a hellish commute anyway.”

You liked to think that that’s how you started becoming friends with your odd, hot-headed co-worker.

[kai-ni]

Gonna rant about work !

We got a new assistant store leader from another store and I just. have never been more stressed in my life at this stupid job. She’s bossy and mean, frankly. She doesn’t inspire, she seems to honestly put people down, talk down to them, and I wanna rip my hair out around her. I stress in her presence.

That much I guess I could get past, I don’t have to LIKE people to work with them. But she’s from another location and it seems like everything we do at this location is Wrong.

I’m doing petcare paperwork wrong, I’m doing tags wrong, I’m doing change orders wrong, I close the tills wrong, I do resets wrong, every FUCKING THING I try to do she corrects me.

She completely rearranged petcare (MY DEPARTMENT) without asking or running it by me and I hate her organization system. She put aquarium chemicals on the shelf above the food??? what the fuck?? And I feel like I cant change it back bc she’s my boss.

AND THEN yesterday she tells some stupid college girls they can have some feeder goldfish for EXPERIMENTS because they’re bio students. I denied the sale! no! It’s against corporate policy - we don’t sell animals for experimental purposes, parties, weddings, etc jfc. They’re students, I can’t guarantee their ‘experiment’ is going to be humane, it could be those dumb ‘bottle ecosystem’ things for all I know.

‘Well, we can’t deny any sale on feeder fish. they’re just feeders’ BITCH I JUST DID! I aint folding to that, that’s ridiculous! It’s. against. policy. I’m so sure. I need to look it up when she’s not around because I’m so sure.

‘Well I used to do that but the DM ripped my ass for it’ k he can rip my ass late because I don’t give a fuck!

Then I get a group chat today that we all need to re-sign the dress code and cell phone policy, and the whole store is getting a ‘first warning’. What? 1. I don’t think I’ve ever violated the dress code in my life and 2. I only ever have my phone out in the bathroom. Why do I get a warning bc other people have been bad in front of you? tit off omg

Then it’s slapping us all on the wrist for not signing the inspections 4x a day (literally) and ‘the inspections show we care about our animals’ just yesterday you said to me ‘they’re just feeder fish, they’re born to die anyway’ tell me again how much we care about our animals.

*screams into a pillow*

[woodstock-in-my-mind]

5 things tag

tagged by @patatijas my dear thank you! <3

5 things you’ll find in my bag

(i wont include the essentials like phone or wallet)

earphones (always get tangled)

make-up (to hide the zits)

planner and a pen (to note down important things to do)

pocket book

cutter (to defend myself in case some loony will attack me or what. you can never trust the streets these days)

5 things in my bedroom

library of books

lots of posters

 stuffed animals that i hang on the ceiling

a picture of george harrison that i stick on my mirror

my guitar and ukelele

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

to be a doctor! (specifically a pediatrician or veterinarian) 

be a musician or a composer

travel the Mediterranean region

be an author of children’s books

bleach my hair

5 things that make me happy

listening to music

watching my fav films/tv shows

going to the beach or somewhere in the province and i leave my worries behind in the city

practice my guitar

writing a story or making graphic edits for this site

5 things on my to-do list

continue my research paper 

finish the article ive written and to publish it soon

buy a new bed

uhhh pay for my Spotify subscription cause it’s gonna expire soon

rearrange my furniture

5 things you may not know about me

i can write both left and right hand.

i really like make-up (and doing it) and hairdressing 

I really like the Harry Potter books... like a lot..

idk what to say more im not that interesting

for some strange reason i cant seem to tag anyone, when i type their url, it wont show up at all! so feel free to play this game, it’s nice to know you guys better.