#Aaron hc's

[ddejavvu]

wait your new hotch blurb got me thinking what about they got secretly married and everyone knows that hotch is married they just don’t know it’s to bau!reader because he seemed very genuine in the wanting privacy so (after complaining) they respected that, and maybe one of the team members sees hotch and bau!reader kissing in the hallway of a hotel or something and confront him about cheating on his wife

"How could you cheat on your wife?"

Penelope's harsh, degrading accusation hits Aaron directly in the chest, through the layers of stoicism that he's come to forge over the years of working in criminal investigation and straight to his heart.

All Hotch can manage is a, "What?", and Penelope's eyes dim further.

"Don't do that, Hotch. I saw you. I saw you and Y/N kissing in your office. How could you do that to your wife?"

She looks so crestfallen that Aaron's chest actually aches, so unprepared to see the famously bubbly Penelope Garcia close to tears. Close to tears because of him, no less.

Aaron might have chosen his words more carefully if he hadn't been so startled by Penelope's unusual devastation, but his jumbled brain forgoes its job and his mouth takes over, uttering the thoughtless statement, "That's- that's what she's there for."

And in his mind, it's true, if not the complete truth. You are there for him to kiss, you're there to be kissed and loved and appreciated and cherished, but he's momentarily forgotten that Penelope doesn't know that you and his mystery wife are the same person, and his words so easily warp into possessiveness and disregard.

Her face contorts into a mixture of disgust and rage that could take out a serial killer, and he seriously considers recruiting her as Chief Lecturer of the BAU, "Hotch? How- how could you say that? That your wife is just- just some thing to wait on you while you run off with someone else? You- Aaron, I can't believe you, I thought you were better than that!"

She tries storming away, tears budding in her eyes but Aaron catches her elbow, ignoring the way she flails and squirms at his touch.

"Let go of me!" She tearily demands, but he grabs her by the other arm now, holding both of her shoulders.

"No, Penelope, listen-" He tries, reminding himself to send her to Derek later for a self-defense lesson, because the weak shoves that she's pushing at his chest with do very little.

"No! No, I'm tired of listening to men," She shrieks, "You were supposed to be better than that, Aaron! I trusted you, you were supposed to be the kind of man that I could admire, and- but you're not! You're just like the rest of them, you're some egotistical, possessive, heavy-handed, domineering son of a-!"

"Y/N is my wife." Aaron cuts her off, his voice slightly raised, but not harsh. Never harsh, not to the sniffling mess of ruffles and glitter in his arms that handed him her resume on pink stationary all those years ago.

She falls silent, finally, but her lips still tremble. Aaron squeezes her arms tighter, not rough but comforting, "Y/N is my wife. We married privately late last year. We kept it secret for safety reasons, but I'll admit we didn't need to hide it from all of you. I was not cheating on my wife, I would never-" He thinks momentarily of Haley, of the gut-wrenching sound of her cell phone ringing with a call she wasn't brave enough to answer in front of him, "I would never do that to Y/N."

It's a lot of new information to process, and Aaron grants Penelope all the time she needs to work through it. When her red-stained lips part again she breathes, "You married Y/N?"

"I did." Aaron nods, and though it's not the time to smile, he can't help that a ghostly one flits over his features at the mere thought of the day he'd married you, "I'll show you pictures when we're done here. Penelope, you can trust me. I don't blame you for accusing me- in fact, I'm glad that you did. I'm glad that your loyalty isn't blind. But Y/N is my wife, and that's why I kissed her."

A very wobbly, "Oh." Is all that Penelope can manage, and she sniffles again, staring at his tie rather than his face as he holds her steady in the hallway. He's glad that they've both shown up early for the day, but you're due to return with coffee for the three of you any minute now, and he offers her his pocket square to wipe beneath her eyes.

"You said-" She chokes out sheepishly, voice unsteady as she smears the tears off of her cheeks, "You said you have pictures?"

That's how you find them when you return, seated on the couch in his office peering down at his phone. You have to set the tray you'd been carrying down on Aaron's desktop before you can properly greet either of them, but you're immediately alarmed by the tears streaked over Garcia's cheeks when she stands to face you.

"You-" She starts, not giving you a second to speak, "-are a rat! You got married," She gushes, and Aaron chuckles deeply from beside her, standing and pocketing his phone.

"You got married to our boss, and you told me nothing," She hisses, but slumps so easily into your chest for a hug that you're more than willing to give her.

"I'm sorry, Penny," You gush, squeezing her tight, "We just- we were worried about safety. The more people we told, the more dangerous it would become, so we didn't share it with anyone. But- but we should have told the team, I know."

She sniffles and you draw back to pick up her drink from behind you, sugary and pink and topped with a thick layer of whipped cream, "I got you a drink. Forgive me?"

"Reluctantly," She tries scowling, but she's never been very good at it. She takes the drink from you huffily, jamming the straw inside and taking a drag at the thick liquid. It's barely nine in the morning, far too early for the concoction she's sipping, but she nods after she draws back from the straw.

"This is delicious," She decides, "And you two are traitors, and I'm telling everyone about this."

"You should," Aaron laughs, stepping up behind you to press his shoulder to your own. It's comforting just having him there, and you relax against him as Penelope takes her leave.

"I mean it," She warns, wiping another stray tear from her cheek and sipping at her strawberry drink, "I'm telling everyone. I'm- I'm gonna hire some guy to fly a plane over the city, and the banner is gonna say, 'Y//N Y/L/N and Aaron Hotchner got married without me'."

"That's fair," You nod, not bothering to bite back a grin as she lingers in the doorway of Aaron's office.

"And so help me god," She narrows her eyes at you, once more falling just short of intimidating, "If you try to take some extended-sick-leave time, and I find out you're hiding a pregnancy from me? No amount of frappuccinos in the world will make up for it!"

"Noted," You call out as she leaves, and Aaron's hand comes up to press against the near-indiscernible bulge of your belly before the door even clicks shut.

"She's good." Aaron observes, and you reach for your own non-caffeinated drink with a grin that's hard to drink through.

"Let's tell her about the baby at lunch," You propose, "I think she's more than earned a secret to keep."

[hmmm-shesucks]

The night before Andrew’s first pro game, he receives a box from a company he is intimately familiar with. Pretty pink calligraphy branding the pristine white box with Allison’s fashion logo. It’s a rather large box, and Andrew is expecting the worst, like bright pink pompoms, but when he opens it, there are several neatly folded piles of silky material—armbands.

The first pair in each bundle is a simple black, but as he goes through them, he finds the colors changing, colors matching his new uniforms, colors Andrew would never usually wear but was informed he’d have to during specific months of the year.

At the bottom of the box lay three pairs with a note labeling them “custom.” The first pair was all black, except for a small dagger on the insides of both wrists. The second set is similar in color, except when they catch the light, subtle color shines through. A stupid rainbow. The last set Andrew knows Neil must have had something to do with as they are bright orange and white, tiny little fox paws on the insides of both wrist.

There are two of each pair, thirty pairs total. At the bottom of the box is a note branded with Allison’s logo but also a tiny kangaroo, one that is also branded just above the elbow on every sleeve.

“First look at the new sports line. I call this one Rew.”

Andrew hates her, but he plays his first game, ensuring Allison’s logo is always visible.

[phefics]

You posted those pictures of spencer and now I wonder how each of the Criminal Minds guys would do oral. I DON'T KNOW IF I WRITE

i think u sent this without finishing lol ?? but i hope u like these lil hcs <33

aaron hotchner gives head the way he does all things — with his whole chest, totally determined, never giving up. he loves to sink down between your thighs and make you cum with a mixture of his tongue and fingers before he fucks you, making sure you’re nice and wet for his cock.

derek morgan wouldn’t say he gets much pleasure from giving head, but he is gonna do it enthusiastically. he sees it as worshipping your body and a fun bit of foreplay before he fucks you. he likes to talk during sex a lot, so having his mouth occupied is a little inconvenient, lol.

spencer reid should hate eating pussy, being such a germaphobe, but he really loves it actually. he knows anatomy very well, so even if he’s inexperienced he can find all the right places. he would just bury his face and stay there as long as it takes for you to be completely spent.

[speciouspessimism]

hc that once he feels comfortable, neil’s favorite thing is wearing (stealing) his friends’ (the foxes’) clothes. it’s like a physical anchor for him? something undeniable that says “i am loved, i am cared for, i am trusted” and most importantly “i must return”.

- he and andrew basically share clothes…. when it comes to clothing they forget who’s is who’s and accidentally wear each others’ jerseys

- matt’s mom is sentimental and has a lot of matt’s old clothes, and eventually matt brings neil home over a break and lets him thrift in his childhood wardrobe

- nicky gives him old t-shirts from bands he doesn’t listen to anymore and neil wears them as pjs

- kevin is a stylish bisexual in his early twenties so he has looots of nice jewelry of which neil picks a piece or two of to sneak every week, and Kevin lets him under the pretense of teaching neil to dress better

- renee notices that neil has no proper comfortable clothes and will always offer for him to take her sweatpants (they’re… kinda long) “for the night” but they both know she does not expect them back for a few days

- dan and neil have the same shoe size… enough said

- allison will wear a great sweater and later neil will come by to hang out in just a t-shirt and jeans… and then oh nooo he’s sooo cold…. shiver shiver complain… nooo it’s fine..oh my goood are you sure….thank you soooo much allison thank you…. (they do this dance often and no one understands why allison lets him)

- even aaron once gets sweatpants just a couple inches too long and one day neil just finds them on his desk in the dorm, flung over a pile of notes and messing up his study space, but warm and brand new

- not clothes but when neil completes his first full year with the foxes, like to the day, on the calendar one year since he came to south carolina, wymack gives neil the blanket he used when sleeping on the couch in his apartment last summer

all of this makes neil feel safer than he would admit, but they all notice and play this game. if he’s wearing dan’s sneakers… well, he can’t run away with those on, it would just be inconsiderate

[reidsc0nverse]

pov your instagram when dating spencer reid pt 4

Liked by paparossi, princesspennyg, and 193 others

(y/n) i think derek got fed up with his statistics...

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spencerreid1 This was frightening to say the least.

-> emilyprenty Maybe stop giving us daily lectures on a topic we brought up one time

-> paparossi @/emilyprenty I second that

derekm This is also me after he wins EVERY card game we play

-> (y/n) did you know there's a mathematical equation to every card game that guarantees the chances of winning 🤓☝️

-> jjareau not you too y/n..

-> spencerreid1 She's actually not wrong.

AaronHotchner I hope this isn't what you guys do when I'm not on the field with everyone

-> (y/n) 🤷‍♀️

Liked by katecallahan, hotboylukealvez, and 174 others

(y/n) finally convinced him to read og fairytales and watch the movies afterward

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spencerreid1 ❤️

derekm Reid definitely seems like a rapunzel guy

-> (y/n) his favorite was actually belle

-> emilyprenty @/(y/n) shocker

jjareau Now you've just gotta show him Twilight

-> (y/n) that's next 🤭

princesspennyg This is so cute!!!!!

-> (y/n) until right after the movie he started telling me all the inaccuracies were in it compared to the story

-> paparossi Dont sound too surprised

Liked by derekm, AaronHotchner and 232 others

(y/n) i might've gotten a little carried away

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emilyprenty that should've been me

-> (y/n) come over.

-> derekm @/spencerreid1 you're just gonna let this happen??

-> spencerreid1 I've come to realize there's nothing I can do.

jjareau And to think we thought he'd never get any action

Liked by alexblake, princesspennyg, and 184 others

(y/n) found this gem going through my pictures, it was too good not to post

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emilprenty JUMPSCARE WARNING

-> (y/n) ⚠️

-> paparossi After the 30 something years I've worked in the FBI, this is probably the scariest thing I've seen

-> spencerreid1 :(

spencerreid1 Why does Derek look like he's going to kick you down like one of his doors?

-> (y/n) HAHAHAHAHAHAH DID YOU JUST MAKE A JOKE SPENCER REID???

-> derekm at least i don't look like sixth grader at his graduation of middle school

-> (y/n) @/derekm yeah and you look like his bully that steals his lunch money

what other things do you guys wanna see? there's a bunch of stuff i can do similar to this just lmk!!!

[prettypipedream]

i love seeing art of the foxes using KT tape, because let me tell you, that shit is a BITCH to get off.

i have chronic muscle problems, so my docs often use it on me.

if it’s applied properly, you can’t just rip it off, because it’ll take your hair with it lol, and it will obviously irritate the skin.

in my experience, showering isn’t enough either, you need to lather the adhesive area in oil.

so i just imagine the foxes all having an excessive amount of baby oil and coconut oil in their dorms.

every grocery run includes a huge amount of oils, and while on the bench or in team meetings, there is always someone distracted as they try and pick off excess adhesive off their body.

they aren’t even called on it because it is a shared annoyance they can all relate to.

additionally, i think it would be funny if abby had fox print KT tape ordered for the team, but also always orders plain black KT tape because andrew absolutely refuses to use it otherwise.

[ravenexy]

“meet cute” they say as he shoves a sports racquet so hard into his abdomen he falls to the floor and continues to say he’ll be fine with a bandaid

[eloquent-apollo]

The foxes play a game called “how much shit can we throw at Kevin until he wakes up”

A comprehensive list of things the foxes have thrown, without waking up Kevin:

A book by Nicky

A pillow by Allison

His entire backpack, with books and laptop inside dropped on Kevin’s back as he slept by Matt

An exy ball by Dan

Four pens by Neil

A shoe by Aaron

His phone by Andrew (Andrew has a nokia confirmed)

A fork by Renee

Two forks by Nicky

A spoon by Allison

Nicky’s marketing homework by Aaron

Aaron’s biology homework by Nicky

The game, unfortunately, abruptly ended when Andrew pulled a knife out of his armbands, and Kevin was woken up by a chorus of “ANDREW NO!” (Dont worry, Andrew wasn’t actually going to throw it)

[andrew-dramaqueen-minyard]

the original foxes, much less the new ones, never really saw Andrew and Neil hug. In fact, between all of them, they don’t think they had EVER seen them hug. Touches here and there, glances, them standing extremely close? Sure loads. The occasional Neil has his legs over Andrew at the team movie nights? Yep. Accidentally walking in on them making out? Absolutely. But a hug? Never.

That was until Neils last game as a Fox. All of the original foxes came and were sitting in the locker rooms (by luck of fate it was a home game) and they are all sitting around the chairs while the team finishes getting ready. Neil is of course, already prepared, but Andrew was late. Something about his flight being delayed and then traffic to the stadium being awful. Neil is fidgety. He knows Andrew is coming, knows he’ll be there to watch the game, knows he’s staying for the next week but Neil wanted to see him now. The foxes can tell he’s trying to pay attention to the conversation but his mind is elsewhere.

“Neil, he’ll be here”, Renee assured him as it was almost time to go out. The new foxes were starting to filter into the room.

“I get 50 dollars if he’s late, so I don’t mind”, Aaron shrugs.

Neil flicks him a glare and Matt nudges him. Before Neil can retaliate though.

“Like I’d give you the satisfaction,” Andrew says from the doorway.

Neil spins and locks eyes on him. The others thought he’d be effectively jumping with joy that Andrew was finally here. But instead, he simply relaxes, walks straight over and into Andrews arms. Andrew has one hand cradling Neil’s head, the other on his back and Neil’s arms are tight around him as he shoves his head into Andrews neck.

The new foxes, who are all in the room now, are gobsmacked. The originals, while not as taken a back, are still shocked at the tender display of affection.

“None of us bet on this,” Allison complains, “a good pool gone to waste!”

“Stop your whining, and quite acting like this is groundbreaking, it’s nothin’ new”, Wymack says as he enters behind, glancing up at Neil peeling himself off Andrews body.

“Wait, coach you’ve seen them hug before?!” Nicky asks.

“You’re telling me it’s been 4 years and you haven’t?”

[ddejavvu]

Wait Omg the thought of bau!reader and Aaron being secretly married but reader forgetting to take their ring off?? (Opposite to Spencer’s LOL). Everyone instantly zeroes in on it like ?????

You're not sure why you're on the receiving end of Prentiss's cheshire cat grin, but she's somewhat of an office prankster, so you assume that when you open the top drawer of your desk, a rubber band will fly out and whack you in the forehead. When no such thing happens, and JJ greets you with her own wide-eyed smile, you know something's wrong.

You retrieve the handheld mirror that you keep stashed away in your purse, trying to appear nonchalant as you glance over your face for any possible makeup smears. There's no smudges of eyeliner down your cheeks, mascara isn't dotted on your eyelid, and your lipstick is perfectly lined around your mouth; nothing is wrong.

You reach up to flick a wayward strand of hair away from your eyes, nothing big enough to attract the stares you're getting, but undesirable nonetheless. When you do you catch the glint of your wedding ring in the fluorescent lights of the bullpen, and your stomach drops.

That's not supposed to be there.

You snap the mirror closed and slide the ring off of your hand but it's too late, and both girls are snickering at your piss-poor attempt at concealment.

"Sooo," JJ hums, leaning over her desk with her chin propped on her hand, "When were you gonna tell us about that?"

"It's just a ring," You scoff, shoving it into the depths of your purse. You'll regret that later, when you're digging through napkins and lotion to find it, but for now evasion is key.

"Please," Emily scoffs, "That rock looks like it could pay my rent five times over. Are you seriously married?"

"No!" You gush, and you're sure they regret phrasing it as a question, because it gave you the opportunity to lie in answer, "No, I am not married, it's just a regular ring."

"Yeah, that's why you hid it from us," JJ drawls, "Morgan, did you know about this?"

"What?" The man's head pops up from his desk, "What do I know?"

"JJ, please-" You beg, but Prentiss is the one who answers, "Y/N's hitched!"

Derek's brows shoot comically high on his face, "Married-hitched?"

"No! I just wear rings sometimes," You insist, "Guys, I'm not married, this is ridiculous!"

"No one wears a ring that big unless it comes from a man who's equally endowed," Prentiss winks, that devilish grin on her face ever-present, "Come on, don't make Penelope deep dive, who's the lucky man?"

"What am I deep-diving for?" Garcia peers around the corner of the kitchenette, and you shoot Rossi a pleading look where he stands behind her. He'd been on his way back to his office, but apparently your drama has piqued his interest.

"She's married." Derek jerks a thumb at you, and it actually drops Garcia's jaw; you've always delighted in how cartoonish her reactions could be. Now, though, it provides enough silence for Rossi to speak, setting one of his hands on Penelope's shoulders.

"Don't waste your talents, Penelope. You don't need a deep dive to figure it out."

"Dave," You start, your voice sharp, but JJ cuts you off.

"Come on, you told Rossi before you told us?"

"She didn't tell me," Dave shakes his head, amusement glimmering in his eyes. You know he's absolutely ecstatic to be the one to let the cat out of the bag, and you resign yourself to slumping back in your chair as he changes the BAU forever more with two meager words: "Hotch did."

[hmmm-shesucks]

Aaron has been trying to get Andrew to stop smoking for years and years to no avail. He complains about it every time he talks to Andrew. If they are around each other, Aaron always comments on how Andrew smells like smoke; he's smoking too much, and the house will have smoke damage even though Andrew never smokes inside. If they are Facetiming and Andrew lights a cigarette, Aaron hangs up. It's a whole thing. Aaron tries everything to get him to stop. He even got Neil to agree to help get Andrew to at least cut back. Nothing works.

Until Aaron calls Andrew and tells him that Katelyn is pregnant, Andrew throws his brand new pack in the trash immediately after they hang up, picks up a pack of gum, and starts sucking on lollipops so frequently Neils thinks Andrews tongue will forever be blue.

By the time the Twins were born, Andrew has not smoked a single cigarette in almost six months. Three weeks after the girls are born, Andrew shows up on his brother's front porch. Aaron doesn't even get to say hello before Andrew pushes past him, the slightest bounce in his step.

“I haven't had a single smoke in six months. Give me a baby.”

[grooviestguru]

so i was just thinking about how, in trk, neil goes to talk to andrew for the first time since easthaven, and nicky is like, hm probably don’t give him knives??? and neil is like it’s fine -_- and he goes to andrew and they literally don’t say a word to each other, neil just gives andrew his bands and knives. we know that scene, right?

but i’m thinking that, for andrew, that neil’s first action was to give him back these things, things that make andrew feel safer on his own terms, is SO IMPORTANT. andrew surely knows that everyone else, even his brother and cousin, is nervous around him now that he isn’t medicated (nicky literally says not to give the knives back yet!). neil is the ONLY one who knows, who trusts, that andrew knows best for himself (we also know that andrew doesn’t really need knives if he feels like attacking someone, but anyway). like i just think about how sober andrew is putting all this together before he and neil even speak, how it’s adding up to an auburn haired boy who is clearly too good to be true, mostly because he respects andrew’s agency. no wonder he thinks neil’s a pipe dream

[speciouspessimism]

what if andreil having supports outside of each other… it does not minimize their relationship but in fact makes it healthier…

like andrew waking from a nightmare and he needs to talk to aaron. he just needs to know his brother is there, hear his voice, and then he can be done with it. or, so very rarely andrew and nicky take a trip to the columbia house, just them, for alone time away from the team (or for nicky, calling erik time), staying in their respective rooms and away from one another, but a few times a day they both emerge and cross paths and andrew will need to listen to nicky’s mindless joy ranting about everything in the world.

or neil is having a panic attack and he just really has to talk to matt! they both know comforting isn’t always andrew’s thing and every once in a while neil needs some more conventional care. he just needs to stay with wymack again for a couple days when he’s sick, and have abby tend to him and kevin stop by to argue with him about his health but also to make sure he’s taken care of properly. to walk him through delirious fever induced conversations about the nest...

[crazy-fangirl2524]

Apparently traumatised kids often fail to grow to normal height because all the energy goes to surviving and well no fucking wonder twinyards and Neil are so short

[mildew-dread-mold]

a fucking groundbreaking thought...twinyards trivia night...

andrew has eidetic memory and aaron is a fucking nerd who seems like he would write "as a person with an unquenchable appetite for knowledge,," on his college application and wouldn't even need to lie about it.

so every tuesday evening they go downtown and find restaurants with trivia events and then they fucking dominate.

edit: i bet they're also friends with some of the old ladies who are regulars at certain restaurants they also frequently go to. the old ladies think they're very smart and handsome young men and ask for pictures of their boyfriend/girlfriend.