#Albedo ; Muse

[protect-namine]

the thing about venti is that he doesn't embody freedom so much as he nurtures it. venti is who he is today because the people taught him to love and he returned that tenfold. the people were the first to teach him autonomy and freedom, and his response is to protect that ideal

I just really love mondstadt's relationship with their "absentee" archon a lot. there's something almost poetic about how just by being themselves, they sort of "created" their own god. a wind wisp became their archon by observing and living with them (ofc I'm oversimplifying it)

as described in freedom sworn, it's the anemo archon who actually takes on his region's characteristics, not the other way around. it is not that mondstadt is the nation of freedom because of venti, but that venti is the god of freedom because of mondstadt. and now you have that same archon asking what I will argue is actually the best quote of genshin, "what is freedom when demanded of you by a god?"

[witch-hazels-musings]

absolutely smitten

warning: comfort / fluff - reader and character are recently engaged - character perspective (short read) | spoiler: childe’s real name 

includes: albedo, childe, diluc, kaeya, zhongli, xiao 

character x gn reader | anthology 

a-n :: i added a song to each story! listen to gather the feelings I felt while writing each passage, read them slowly for the best feeeeels - links to the song are next to each characters name)

albedo (about us)

the ring he’s chosen is handcrafted with love. the band a rich and elegant metal that appears to shimmer like water in the afternoon sun, the stone a perfect encapsulation of his feelings for the one he hopes will wear it forever. it’s bonded in the fabric of time, by the blood of the heart that beats for eternity, and the hopeful desires of a man whose lived long but feels like a child at your side 

he’s lost in thought but his eyes linger on the hand that’s moving feverishly across the page. words have finally lost all meaning, questions eluding him are answered, mysteries left unsolved as the universe comes into clarity at the locus of your finger. he blinks, shakes his head, attends to the person whose asked for his attention but as soon as they are gone he returns to watch you and capture in graphite what he sees. 

he had a suspicion you’d say yes but there was always that worry, that tickling fear in the back of his heart that his hypothesis of your love was one sided. so to hear your reply and know you’d have and hold him for the rest of your days, he has found his emotions overflowing; and he can’t stop smiling.

Albedo isn’t one for sharing, so the news would have to come from you, but as soon as it’s uttered and those celebrating with good wishes turn toward him, his cheeks are painted pink, white teeth flash in a smile, but his eyes have drifted to you - there’s no mistaking it, the data is in ... 

Albedo, the Chalk Prince, is absolutely smitten; he’ll never let you go.

---

childe (steep hills of vicodin tears) 

the ring he’s chosen represents his promise. a promise to be yours forever; to honor, to care, and protect you. if tomorrow he lost it all - his name, his title, his livelihood - this ring placed on your finger would hold him together and make him whole once again. by wearing it you have become his family, and his family will never be lost nor taken 

it flashes in the morning light as you settle on the edge of the riverbed. your working away, minding yourself, but he can’t stop noticing the ring; you move and it rattles his heart until he cannot take it anymore and the colors of the gemstones are lost in tufts of orange. how are kisses able to feel so different - what magic rests in that band around your finger? 

at times he thinks about you. this isn’t anything new, but now it’s images your hand resting in his, of your bare skin pressed against him while a lazy finger draws circles on his chest, and the ring he placed there casts life across the bedroom. he hears the sound of your laugh as you pour out your gleeful reply to the question he never thought he’d ask. he sees your outstretched hand reach for him - just for him. he blinks but his thoughts never drift far from you.

past down from generation to generation, this familial bond has always been a treasure and now he gets to share it forever with the ring of his mother and the love that was always meant for you. what a fool in love ...

Ajax of Snezhnaya is absolutely smitten, he’ll never let you go.

---

diluc (feel first life)

the ring he’s chosen matches you so well. it took him months of searching, travels all across the lands to find the perfect stone and the perfect band. it’s imperative that its exactly right for it has to rest, for an eternity, on the finger of the love of his life's - he’s spared no thought, nor expense to find it 

he holds your hand so delicately as if it’ll shatter in his grip. it carries so much of his future that he can’t bear the thought of being it’s downfall. the ring flashes in the light and it makes his stomach flip, it catches on his thumb as he runs his finger across your own, affirming the love he’s known all along. he can’t take his eyes off the symbol circling your finger, the promise to be his. 

at times it draws his attention when he should be focused on something else. you wave goodbye to regular patrons and he sees it resting, perfectly, on your finger. you’re jotting down a note, some fleeting thought that comes and goes, but he notices the way it stays steady, prominent. he kisses you goodbye while you’re sleeping soundly and he can’t stop himself from resting his fingertips on yours for just a few seconds more. 

he remembers the day he met you, the day you shared his feelings, the day you said yes with tears in your eyes and a smile so bright it would put the stars to shame. he remembers every second of his life with you and, now, he has the priviliage of being yours forever until the end of time. he is in love, so in love ...

Diluc Ragnvindr is absolutely smitten, he’ll never let you go. 

---

kaeya (the misty veil of may)

the ring he’s chosen is a reflection of his love for you. the star shaped diamonds that encircle a gem of radiant blue have been specially crafted to fit you. the band is cold in his hand but when it rests on your finger it burns so intensely he can feel it in his heart - he’s speechless, for the first time in his life 

you reach for his cheek and he captures your hand so easily. yearning lips press against the fingertips you’ve offered him. he catches sight of the ring you accepted and his mind races; new questions left to answer, decisions to be made by a pair and not just one, promises, vows to swear and keep forever. he adjusts your wrist so he can see the shimmering gems reminding him you are his, and he hides his joyful tears in the cracks of your fingers. 

it makes him insatiable to see you hold a glass, when you to touch your fingers to your lips every time you’re lost in thought, the way you cover your eyes when annoyed by his games. you huff, but the glittering ice on your ring finger tells him that, no matter how far he pushes, you’ve promised to stay. so he relents and wraps his arms around you hoping you can’t read his insecurities through the tightness of his hug. 

he still can’t believe it’s true - he never thought he’d have someone like you - and now his world has grown a little larger. the family he always dreamed of can finally take root in the rings you both wear.

Kaeya Alberich is aboslutely smitten, he’ll never let you go. 

---

zhongli (mysterium)

the ring he’s chosen is the most lavish of it’s kind. forgo the price, damn the payment plan, Zhongli has purchased the most extravagant ring he can find. they say a three months salary but he’s paid the price of a mountain to spoil you  - a rock this size could damage the hull of a ship (maybe that’s why you haven’t been invited to the Ocean Pearl in sometime) 

he’s rather proud of the way your head has lifted, at the way you brighten up each time someone gawks at your ring. zhongli doesn’t mind helping hold it in the safety of his hand while you offer thanks to the flurry of congratulations. he wants it known you have been securely taken. even when he’s not around. though he would never bring it up himself, he’s not shy to the surprised exclamations when they appear - a simple bow of his head is enough to hide the smile tugging at his lips and the intensity of his pounding heart. 

when you wrap your arm around his so he can escort you, his eyes flash to the ring, to your face where his desires to kiss you become so strong he may take a detour just to indulge for a moment. when he helps you get ready in the morning, assists with meals, retrieves the book high on the shelf; he simply adores taking your hand. each time he’s allowed, it provides him reassurance that his proposal to have it forever has been secured. 

partnership is a commitment, marriage is a bond. you know who he is, but it’s never held you back, and, now, he desires to take you completely in - this ring is a contract of his devotion and as soon as you accept it ... 

Zhongli, the great Archon Rex Lapis, will be absolutely smitten, he’ll never let you go.

---

xiao (Varoeldur)

the ring he’s chosen is simple, but irreplaceable. its a collection of all the most meaningful parts of him bound together in a circlet that reminds him of you. the box that holds it was shaped from the wood of the tree where you first met, the stuffing keeping it safe are the same flowers you once placed in his hair. the band is a piece of his spear shaped and enchanted with his protection, the bead that rests in the middle is a part of his soul - to be bound with it’s mate in this, incredible lifetime

the path has always been narrow; just enough space for him to walk forward. darting lights destined to be snuffed out until the world returns to the dark familiarity he knows, but now the road is wider, larger, because of the radiant one who called out his name. it’s soft, beckoning glow showed him there was more than this diligent path he swore to follow - bands of color, shades of hue completely new to the lonely yaksha were brought forth because of you. he sees your light even from afar. it beats in his heart, it engulfs his memories, it takes root in his soul and now he has been swallowed up by the comforting calm of your love. 

xiao is always surprised by the quickness of his eyes as they flash to your hand. he’s unsettled by how incredible it feels when you touch him - a caress of his back, a soft, ‘im here’ against his arm, dancing fingers running through his hair. he’s melting into you and the feeling is so overwhelming but each time he notices the ring on your finger, he becomes grounded, solid, whole, once again. 

even though he may not show just how much you mean to him, there is no doubt that if the world were to turn to darkness tomorrow, you would be there to bring back the light. 

Xiao, the Vigilant Yaksha, is absolutely smitten, he’ll never let you go. 

[yaekiss]

Congratulations on the 400! If I'm not too late, may I send a #mailroom open letter to a yan!Albedo? Any gender neutral or feminine nickname would work and, if it so pleases you, a nsfw reply would be lovely.

__________________________

To my lovely Albedo,

How are you, love? Are you taking care of yourself while I'm away? As I sit here, working away in Inazuma City while I enjoy a sweet dessert, I cannot help but think of you... and your tendency to get swallowed up by your research when I'm not there to reel you back.

I was hoping that my business here would be done far faster than this. I suppose it isn't all bad, though. I can't say that I've ever been a social person, but people have been nothing but kind to me thus far. I may have even made a friend. But still, my heart belongs to you- and as such, no matter how I may enjoy my time, I can only eagerly await the moment I am able to return home.

I miss you dearly, my prince. I'll make sure to work even harder so that our time apart may be shortened by even a little bit. I can't to have you in my arms again, to feel the warmth of your embrace and know that everything is right with the world.

We both know that I could go on with the sweet words for pages and pages, so it's probably best that I stop here. Stay safe and take care of yourself, alright? I love you so, so much.

May my affections cross what feels like an eternity apart,

Your Wistful Lover

(Alongside the letter are various, shockingly well-preserved Inazuman sweets including Sakura Mochi and Dango milk, as well as a small pouch containing a handful of carefully-chosen Sakura Blooms. Lastly is an intricately designed silken blindfold, with its own little note attached that reads, "I had this custom made for you. I wanted to make one myself, but I couldn't find the time. Hopefully you like it anyway!")

꩜ Letter Content: Dom! GN! Reader x Yan! Sub! Albedo, no gendered terms for reader, Albedo calls you "my constant", mentions of blindfolds and a vibrator used on Albedo, unhealthy and obsessive relationship from Albedo, lmk if I missed anything ! ꩜ Delivery Notes: Albedo sure is a busy man to track down... I had to look for him all over Mondstadt since he was gathering quite a collection of alchemy ingredients. It was quite the staggering assortment too... I never understand what he's planning. ꩜ Wanna write a love letter yourself? Check out it out here!

Placed at your hotel doorstep is an innocuous package. It's decently sized, the box a lovely shade of pale indigo and shifting it slightly under the light shows an underlying iridescence hidden in the pigment.

Undoing the sturdy rope securing the lid down, you gain access to the contents within the box. You first retrieve a wondrous blooming bouquet of cecilias, wrapped in a sheer gauzy yellow fabric and tied with a teal satin ribbon. The petals are soft under your caress and for a moment, you reminisce about the first cecilia Albedo gifted to you after showcasing his alchemy.

Next, you fish out a cloth drawstring pouch. Peering into it, there's an assortment of all your favourite Mondstadt candies, enough to last you weeks. A little tag is attached to one of the strings, it reads: “In case you miss your usual sweet treats and need a boost of energy. ♡”

Unwrapping one, you pop it into your mouth before you pull out an envelope. The paper is smooth under your fingers and an impressive sketch of Dragonspine decorates the front. Flipping the envelope over, there's a wax seal, a cursive letter “A”, with flecks of gold dotted in it.

Carefully, you open it and obtain the parchment inside. His handwriting is a sight you've missed, from days spent watching him jot down his hypothesis and findings in his laboratory. Albedo's response to you reads:

“Replying to: My beloved constant.

Thank you for writing to me, my constant, I was growing somewhat nervous with your prolonged silence and I feared something unsavoury might have happened to you. As such, I am writing back to you to assure you that I've been doing alright as well. Though, I'm sure I would do a lot better with you by my side.

Next, I must thank you for the gifts you sent me. I shared the sweets with Klee and she has been pleading nonstop with me for more. Also, the sakura blooms were of high quality and proved immensely useful in my research. If you're willing, I can share my findings with you when you return, my constant.

Now, I can't help but ask what went through your mind, gifting me such a sly gift as a blindfold. What scene did you picture in your head? Was I blindfolded and tied up on your bed while begging for you to please touch me? Or perhaps I'm laid on my laboratory table, my sight obscured with the silk, pliant and willing as you drag a vibrator across my skin in an attempt to find my erogenous zones? Did you fantasise about muffling my moans with a kiss as you toyed with me? You should reenact it with me as soon as you get back, my constant, I feel as if I'm about to burst with how much I long for your embrace.

Ahem, getting back on track, I too have been working hard. (Fret not, I have not been overworking myself. I do not wish to worry you after all.) And I've made discoveries of my own and uncovered intriguing new possibilities whilst ruminating alone in my laboratory. I heard of the Inazuman archon's dedication to eternity.

Eternity... goes against natural orders, but lately, I have been finding myself relating to her obsession with such a concept. You might think it strange, my constant. However, I can understand how fearing the loss of someone close to you can affect your decisions, despite the morality of said actions.

You are golden in my eyes, unforgettable, and the time I spend with you feels like I'm the closest to unravelling the truth and meaning of this world. Is it my greed talking when I say that I want more time to uncover all of you, to understand the very fibre of your being, to see what has irreversibly drawn me to you and what makes you stay by my side? Maybe it is, but that is a question best saved for another day, my constant.

I shall end my letter here. I sincerely hope that the rest of your stay in Inazuma goes smoothly and safely, and that your return will be swift. I cannot wait to have you by my side once more, my constant. I love you so, so much as well.

Ever and eternally yours,

- Albedo -”

You fold the parchment and place it back into the envelope. One last item rests in the box. It's a handpainted painting of you, framed in an intricate wooden frame. Albedo captures your smile in the sunlight, the background featuring one of the picnics the both of you went on recently before you left for Inazuma.

However, you notice that one of the corners is a little wrinkled. Removing the backing of the frame to fix it, you discover another layer of canvas material behind that first painting. Gingerly, you peel it back to reveal a haunting portrait of the both of you. 

In dim lighting, you're seated on his laboratory table whilst he's knelt at your feet, his head resting on your lap. You almost don't recognise yourself. You're familiar with his art style but in this, you're ethereal to an eldritch degree... almost devoid of humanity. It's unnerving, to say the least. 

Perhaps Albedo's research has veered into more forbidden territories, challenging the principals of nature, all in the name of love. You muster one more look at the portrait.

A matching star rests delicately on your neck. In the bottom corner, he titles it “New birth.”

Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡

[2w1ld3st-2dr3ams]

scurries out of the shadows to drop this

So I personally can't stop thinking about dollification (is that how it's called??). Just like, having a sweet doll at your disposal for any of your whims. I imagine this scenario with either Albedo or Aether, having either of them dressed up and trying their best to imitate a doll just so you can have your way with them, no restraint whatsoever. Or or, you find this doll model at your local tech place (kind of like an android in DBH) and buy it, unaware of the virus that corrupted their system. Having your perfect angel of a doll be slowly corrupted by thoughts of you and what you could do to them. You begin to wonder why your doll's eyes are a reddish-pink, adorned with little hearts, since you could've sworn they weren't like that before.

I'm also plagued by thoughts of eating pussy, idk man it's just the urges. Specifically Lumine, helping her de-stress after her travels to a new nation, breathing irregular as she tries to hover over your face. You aren't having any of this, intent on helping her de-stress properly, so you pull her hips closer to your face and eat her out like the meal she is. As she's squirming and moaning above you, you grip her thighs and stop her from trying to move away. Her moans and gasps urge you to continue until you feel the muscles under your hands relax, pulling her away from you once she's done cumming. While she regains her breath and you clean your face, you can feel her body weight on top of yours again, as she looks away and mumbles how she's still feeling a bit stressed; won't you help her once more?

[yeonban]

Not going to post any story spoilers until the weekend but GODDD JUST LOOK AT HIM. HE'S!!! SO!!!!!! GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!

[dutybcrne]

Random lil omegaverse hcs bc why tf not:

-Itto. Alpha. Has an earthy/fresh chopped wood scent. While he has absolute control of himself even around Omegas in heat and fellow Alphas in ruts, he is an absolute MENACE when he's the one in rut, in territorial aggression, how strong his pheromones are, and in terms of sex drive, but Shinobu usually has him handled when it comes down to it. It's especially difficult to manage due to him being part oni, as that nature makes his body highly resistant to suppressants. He really likes to scent his entire gang and leave his own on them, being VERY protective of his pack. He gets restless whenever one of the gang sets off to do something without everyone else in tow, and will 100% sulk and whine if they come back to him smelling of other pheromones ( even if unintentionally ) until he’s able to completely get rid of the foreign scent with his own. Surprisingly is the one who nests more than even the Omegas in his gang, and Demands the entire gang sleep dogpiled in it, outside those dealing with ruts and heats. No one has actually complained about it, since it makes them feel safer and at ease too, having all their scents intermingled.

-Kuki. Beta, though she is often mistaken for an Alpha by her posturing and ability to wrangle everyone in the gang, esp Itto, with such ease, as though she were issuing Commands. Itto claims she smells of sugar crystals and naku weeds, but she thinks he's mistaken it, though she can’t exactly perceive her own more subtle pheromones herself. Can charitably be called Itto's rut partner, but rather than really tending to his needs in that sense, she ( usually ) is more his keeper/guard than anything. Is very careful not to accidentally get bitched by him in the process of actually playing partner to him if he really needs the relief. She is on TOP of everyone's respective cycles and handmakes their suppressants herself. She's thankful her dynamic is what it is, because she doesn't know what she would do if she had to deal with everyone's scents mingling and fluctuating. Though at times she can almost fully perceive Itto's, but she chalks that up to him being so overbearing with his own scent. She was the one who picked up on how strong Itto’s pack instincts were and suggested he trying nesting with everyone to appease it—she secretly likes the togetherness of it all too.

-Kaeya. Omega. Smells of Inteyvats ( will say Calla lilies ) and a sharp hint of what most figure is Mint. While he has no qualms about serving as rut or even heat partner for his closest friends/associates, he personally loathes taking partners during his own heats. But if he must, he'll always prefer to go for a trusted Beta, even knowing it wouldn't help with it in the slightest. The fact that the scent glands on the right side of his neck have slight burn scars is a very sensitive topic to him, enough to sharpen his scent with a harsh, jarring stinging unpleasantness on mention. It is especially hair-raising for those who perceive that pheromone change ( or especially one that happens in a threat display, where it’s most notable ), due to his body being tarnished by Abyssal influence. He tends to wear perfumes to try and mask that odd edge to his pheromones, esp since he makes quite frequent use of them, in deliberately tending to posture and release them to ‘make up’ and distract from his damaged scent glands, soothing those who need it, or even in schmoozing up others for one reason or another. Which in turn always leaves him feeling a little woozy and with worsened migraines than what he may have already started his day with. Has a rather guttural threat display growl that strikingly resembles an Alpha’s ( though with a more Unnervingly inhuman note to it too ) because of him mimicking Diluc when growing up together, and the softest nost alluring little happy purr in contrast. He seldom if ever nests because he never feels truly Safe enough to. The closest he's got is a pile of blankets and cushions in Jean's office, and even then HE isn’t the one who makes it.

-Tartaglia. Omega. Smells of cherries and lime, with a slight metallic edge to it, though whether it's blood of his enemies on him or an Alteration that happened to his biology due to the time the Abyss had tainted him, it is unsure. He adamantly refuses to let Dottore find out. Is purposefully off his suppressants damn near half the time much to the chagrin of the other Harbingers, but it's because he figured out real quick his favorite way to handle his own heats is by fighting it out. Because anybody daring to try and get their hands on him without his permission is fair game to be roped into becoming an impromptu sparring buddy of his, even the other Harbingers can’t argue. The only ones who can get him to actually take his suppressants are Pierro ( he respects him ) and Columbina ( she scares him ). He likes to threat display on purpose sometimes because he thinks it's funny, watching the others, especially more physically imposing Alphas, around him get spooked. He makes the messiest scrappiest of nests, haphazardly tossed toegther on a whim, but he gets exceedingly hostile towards anyone who even tries getting close, more so even dares tamper with it. May the Tsaritsa protect anyone who happened to ‘clean it up’ thinking it a mere mess. His mates are Not exempt from this either, not unless he personally invited them to get close/touch it in that very moment.

Kaveh: Omega. Smells of Zaytun peaches. Actually prefers to top his partners, even Alphas. Especially Alphas. Keeps trying to keep track of his heats but they are exceedingly irregular, which stresses him to no end. Especially he can be a bit more susceptible to an Alpha's commands and pheromones than the typical Omega during his heats. Thankfully he's avoided any real danger in taking note how scents register to him to gauge if he’s in pre-heat or not, and acting accordingly. Is very on top of taking his suppressants ( made for him by Tighnari, since he's found his specific one most effective for himself ) too, which further helps prevent mishaps, to the point where many would assume he is a Beta, if they didn't know any better. Though at times those very suppressants do make him feel queasy, especially when drinking. Kaveh tends to nest with an article of clothing from each of his friends when he's not mated, and can and WILL hoard clothes from his mate once they are official. They WILL be required to nest with him.

-Diluc. Alpha. Smells of roasted coffee and a hint of sweet lampgrass. Is especially sensitive towards the scent of an Omega in distress, but in the sense that it makes him feel nauseous while spurring him into a protective mode. He's easily made hostile as a result, especially towards other Alphas, but in general too. He takes specific suppressants made by the church for that reason, especially when he's about to take on a shift at Angel's Share. Has an EXTREMELY loud growl and purr, the latter which he unintentionally scares people with. While both are exceedingly strong rumbles from deep in his chest ( many claiming it sounds like a brooding beast ) and are almost startlingly similar to each other, the best way to tell the difference is really how he's postured. He really does try so hard to not seem imposing or intimidating, but he is extremely unsuccessful. Due to the strength of his pheromones, he tends to always have scent patches on. Because he’s come to learn that, otherwise, he’ll accidentally sway the mood of the room with every shift of his own, particularly if there isn’t another scent that can properly counteract his. Which doesn’t tend to be often, outside the Angel’s Share. Absolutely hoards articles of clothing his closest ones leave in the Winery for comfort reasons—they will NOT get those back until the scent is gone, and he Will be moody while returning them ( which is why he hardly ever does so, face-to-face ).

-Jean. Alpha. Smells of dandelions and fresh cut grass. In order to better get along with those of any dynamic, including her own, she worked especially hard to make herself as non-intimidating as possible, always seeming to exude calming pheromones, though it inevitably gives her migraines after a while to keep it up. Will she stop releasing them even with this? Absolutely not. It would crush her if anyone so much as called her presence imposing, especially coming from one of her own subordinates. Though anyone will quickly be reminded of why she is known as the Lionfang Knight if they dare step out of line in an especially disgraceful manner/otherwise taking advantage of her intent of displaying a gentler nature in thinking they can. She always has the urge to scent her closest friends, to mark them as pack ( and is a lot more territorial than she lets on to boot, getting put in a Mood if they ever happen to smell of another she's unfamiliar/not pack-bonded with ) but is utterly mortified at the thought of bringing it up. Which is why she's happy whenever they come to her willingly and ask for her to do so unprompted. She is also very happy whenever a fellow knight takes refuge in her office, in citing what a calming presence she has, especially her closest friends. She always keeps nesting supplies in her office for that very reason.

-Lisa. Alpha. Smells of petrichor and valberries. Has a very imposing presence she masks under an easygoing personality, and has even put other Alphas on edge ( at best ) at the slightest shifts in her mood. Those closest to her will always end up thoroughly smelling of her scent when they meet her because she, like Jean, is very particular about marking special few as her 'pack'. She considers it a blessing hers and Jean’s pheromones work well together as a result. Her ruts tend to hit her hard ( which she believes is because of her lifespan being shortened by unnatural means ), and will seldom ask for a partner, in knowing just how overwhelming she will be. A certain captain and grandmaster may happen to volunteer more often than not, though, even if it takes a lot out of the both of them when they do. Most people don’t know she’s uttered a Command until it hits them—even a purred little tone doesn’t lessen the weight of it in the slightest. When she really wants to put off a task or hand it off to someone, she takes advantage of this ( while fully intending to reward the person she’s roped into it afterward, of course ). If any of the younger knights have any questions about secondary genders or need a quick supplement to their suppressants that won't negatively interact with them, she is the go-to person for the job. Because of how sensitive she is to other's pheromones, she often keeps suppressants for the Alphas and Omegas alike just in case she notices someone might need them.

-Albedo. Unknown. Has a chalky sort of scent that sets many on edge. Will say he's a Beta to keep things simple, but being an artificial being, it's really not. Being in his presence, especially when he lets out his pheromones or even attempts to mimic purring/growling, feels Unnerving to each dynamic, even Betas, like uncanny valley or even a deep biological reaction to a lurking threat for some. Kaeya is one of few with a determined dynamic who can put up with it, along with Sucrose and Timaeus, though Albedo thinks it’s because his and Kaeya’s pheromones/gestures have a similar edge to them, that they are comfortable enough with each other's. He doesn’t really have a true Response Instinct, but a fellow Khaenri’ahn stands a better chance of triggering one in him than any other in at all. It always leaves him feeling so very confused each and every time.

Venti. His pheromones tend to hold the scent of a crisp Red Delicious apple. As Archon, he can switch up his dynamic to whatever he wants, but tends to stick to Beta, so he doesn't accidentally set anyone off and and better mingle with his people overall without worrying about the extra hassles that come with having a dynamic. It may also depend on how much he wants to mess with a given friend's Response Instinct, shifting then purring idly to see how quickly they answer back or perk up. Which had nearly gotten him hurled like a Harpastum more than once. He will also switch up his dynamic if he sees a particular friend might need him to, whether to let off the right pheromones that won't set them off to calm them, or even serve as a more adequate/safer heat partner however they see fit, if they want him to be.

-Thoma. Omega, but as far as everyone else outside the Kamisatos is concerned, he is officially a Beta. This is done partly to protect him overall, but in particular so others looking to hurt the Yashiro Commission wouldn't take advantage of his secondary gender to do so. His scent is something like warm broth with a hint of cinnamon, which he is thankful he can play off quite easily since it's most noticeable in enclosed spaces. He is constantly but very subtly exuding calming pheromones—it is both on purpose ( be it to keep his fellow staff content or to disarm someone he’s dealing with, the latter which he definitely takes advantage of during meetings he's present at ) and unconsciously done ( he is always in such a good mood, they just ooze right out of him! ). Which makes him rather hungry/sleepy compared to others. He can make a stark difference 180 when dealing with hostile Alphas however; those flooding an area with their pheromones, or especially pestering Omegas or even Betas, WILL make him more inclined for hostile threat displays. He will attempt to mask them, but the lingering Urge to fight always has him a-buzzing and restless in the process. In such cases; he hopes there’s plenty of tasks left to do for him to take care of, or he will Create tasks for himself.

[ahrencmeptn]

"Well, well, well. Kenajmin T. Bennyson."

[ethaneldritch]

tbh i'm really glad i isolated myself from the genshin fandom.

Whether intentionally or not, everyone talks about lore events as if you've been following the game since release day, which means spoilers abound everywhere. i tried to hang around when inazuma released even though i'd only just gotten to liyue, but it was literally impossible to avoid spoilers. even something as nonchalant as background footage in a commentary video wasn't safe; i basically had the entire plot shoved immediately in front of me before i had the chance to experience it at my own pace.

however, now, i've finally gotten the chance to get back into playing it regularly. i'm about three YEARS behind in the story at this point, it'd be such a drag trying to catch up if i already knew what was happening. all the surprise would be ruined.

Genshin's writing is phenomenal, but it's a lot to sit through, and there's no point to doing that if you already know how it's gonna go anyway. i just wouldn't care enough to shlog through all that dialogue just for a cutscene i've already seen twenty times.

THAT ALL BEING SAID

i didn't go into Sumeru expecting much. I enjoyed the inazuma quest well enough (although everyone tells me it sucked), but my progression through this game's material is fairly disjointed, which often messes with my perception of story beats.

Sumeru has had me hooked.

like, the minute that first beep went off i audibly went "...oh".

The setup is tense and fascinating. I have absolutely no idea where it's leading, but the writing is TIGHT, the cutscenes are GORGEOUS, this whole arc is making me CARE about characters i didn't give a second thought to when they released...I am SO ready to see where this goes and SO happy i stopped following genshin lore when i did.

maybe at some point i'll finally be caught up and will be able to rejoin the theorycrafting community. but for the time being, i will happily remain on the sidelines getting my first taste of this fantastic game.

[enchantedmirage]

I'm printing this out as we speak and nailing it to my wall @transient-blossom

[protect-namine]

we all wish our favorite lore characters show up as often and has so much impact across so many regions as wanderer

[witch-hazels-musings]

days of sorrow

warning: angst - no comfort (reader death*) | one curse word (F)

includes: Albedo (eleazar sickness - mentions of wheelchair, losing the ability to walk, think, function), Diluc (illness undefined), Thoma (illness - cancer) 

character x gn reader | anthology 

request (reader is sick and doesn’t go out with grace (these are rough yall)) & collaboration - @versadies​ Farewell Love event -- “what’s wrong with me?” | this broke me

Albedo 

relationships, connections, these were not what he imagined he’d have in his life - sure, there were a select few that would always be there but to find himself so eager to spend time with you, to learn more about you, to fall in this ‘so called love,’ it was all so new

“Master Albedo,” one of the attendants interrupted him and his research. He glanced up to greet them and an unfamiliar face standing at side, “This is y/n, the biologist from Sumeru.” They ushered you forward, Albedo noticed the curiosity in you as you scanned your surroundings. Your hand extended toward him, a formal greeting, but your bright eyes and wonderful smile were given to the room. 

Chuckling, you finally turned to look at him as your hand curled around his in a friendly hand-shake, “You have such an astonishing research facility Chief Alchemist. I hope you don’t mind, but I did a little research on your work during my travels. You’re work is fascinating and, well, I’m honored to work alongside you.” 

Albedo sensed the connection the moment you touched him, the second he saw the purity in your eyes, the curiosity he knew so well. Kindred spirits finding each other; sharing in their joy. “Well,” he spoke, clearing his throat, “I do hope you learn as much as you are willing to teach -” 

“Absolutely, Chief Alchemist,” you replied with a small bow of your head. 

“Please, Albedo is fine.”  

You laughed, a nervous one or an apologetic one, he wasn’t sure, but he liked the sound of it nevertheless, “Of course,” you released his hand and made your way to an empty work station, the one next to his, “so, shall we get started, Albedo?” 

as a being unlike anything else in this world, Albedo knew his physiology would set him apart from the normal ailments, terminal illnesses, and death that plagued others 

it never occurred to him to concern himself over his health, and it never occurred to him he’d suddenly become consumed by the subject 

Albedo made his way down the hall to his office. It was a slow morning, not many students made their way to the lab so the halls were quiet, unobtrusive to his thoughts. He carried two cups of tea in his left hand, the steam from the hot liquid filled his nose and though he couldn’t see you, the thought of you ran through his mind. 

The office door was slightly ajar, inside he found you standing next to the chalkboard writing a few notes here and there. Every once in a while you shook your arm as if something was bothering you. 

“How’s it going?” Albedo asked as he placed the cups on the desk behind you. Without missing a beat, he picked one up and offered it to you. The cup touched your arm so you twisted to accept it; Albedo couldn’t help but notice how much your hand trembled, struggled to hold the cups weight. 

Has it already gotten this bad? 

“My calculations seem to be off but I’ve ran this, like, ten times already and I don’t know what’s wrong,” you let out an exasperated sigh before taking a sip of the tea. A gentle smile pulled at your lips and a soft hum told him you liked it, “This is a great pick-me-up.” You were still holding the chalk in your hand when you pulled it up to surround the mug in your palms. Sip after sip you continued to smile as you gazed at the problem on the chalkboard. 

“Perhaps its not something within the equation,” Albedo moved to grab another chalk, but before he approached the board, he returned to retrieve your notebook. “Ah, I see.” He moved to erase a few numbers you’d written on the side. As soon as he finished, you exclaimed at his revelation. 

“OH! Of course, how stupid of me.” Quickly, you placed the cup down and began to correct the numbers in your formula. As you did, Albedo noticed the black marking on your arm, and based on his internal measurements, it was spreading.  

Albedo prided himself on knowing so much -- how frustrating was it when the knowledge he sought provided nothing but pitiful apologies

some genius he turned out to be 

You lost the ability to walk weeks ago. It was surprising how difficult it was to make your way around Mondstadt in a wheelchair so you were confined to the grounds of the Knights Headquarters. Luckily for you, there was enough commotion on a good day to keep you entertained, and your research kept you plenty busy. That was when your focus wasn’t poor, or your mind wasn’t fuzzy and disconnected. 

It was frustrating trying to work when your mind refused to cooperate. Irritation was a new reoccurring emotion for you but you tried to push through. You refused to let this sickness take more from you, even though it had already taken your legs and was slowly taking your arms. 

You weren’t sure what was going on with your body, but Albedo assured you he was working on a cure - and you trusted him, right? The only problem was you wanted to help him, wanted to know more, understand why your body was failing you, why the black, scale-like rashes kept spreading and taking everything with it. You wanted to put your faith in him but you were scared and he wasn’t telling you anything. 

A few days after you were confined to a wheelchair, Albedo disappeared behind closed doors. You were slowly losing yourself, you didn’t need to lose him too. 

Disturbing him wasn’t something you wanted to do, but you were desperate. Desperate for answers, for comfort, to see his face once again, to hear him -- before it was all too late, you wanted to know him once more. 

“A-Albedo?” You called out in the dim light of his office, the fingers you curled around the wheels grew weaker with every grip, every push, but you refused to give up. It strained your voice to speak louder, your chest stung as you called to him again, but seeing him hunched over a table, books spread, tossed aside as if they were no longer useful to him. Scattered notes and torn hopes laying everywhere they fell while he poured himself into a solution, a reason that would never reveal itself to him. It was clear he needed you just as much as you needed him. 

“Albedo ...” you spoke and he turned to see you. Eyes lost, shrouded in dark circles and red skin, graphite touching his cheeks as if he’d fallen asleep on his notes again. He saw you and the color he didn’t have faded from his face, “... what’s wrong with me?” You asked, but he couldn’t answer you. 

death, it’s only the beginning - what a load of crap 

Albedo rarely left your side after that night. The night where the moon was hidden by the clouds and his discovery yielded nothing. In the hours you slept, he snuck away to the study to search more, test again, find a solution but failure after failure he found himself spent. In the few hours you seemed to see grasp your surroundings he would talk to you, read to you, and share with you discoveries as they occurred, but mostly he would hold your hand and become fixated on it’s changing color. 

“... be..o,” you whispered as best you could. It seemed the disease was finally taking the last bit of your will with it. “... on’t wanna go ...” 

Albedo moved toward you, his body barely resting on the edge of the chair as he leaned to wipe the tears from your cheeks. Lately, they didn’t seem to stop falling. He began to speak but, in all the pitiful sounds you could muster, you cut him off.

“nnng ... non done ... on’t wanna ...” In your head you were screaming, with every fiber of your being you were screaming to communicate to him but the words refused to come out. “I ... lob .. you ... wanna ...” 

Albedo -- I don’t want this to happen -- I don’t want to lose myself and forget you -- please don’t let me forget you too -- why is this happening to me --

“Don’t give up” Albedo replied as he pressed his forehead to yours, “I believe there is an answer to this. I will find it. I will find it,” he repeated while you tried to tell him every little thing that ran through your veins. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. 

Let me stay ... 

A few days later you slipped into a coma until, ultimately, you slipped away from him completely. 

He watched as the light that entered his lab faded in cognition and function. He witnessed your determination to fight against the sickness that cared little for your own willpower, all the while he was helpless to stop it. 

It took him weeks to enter the spaces you once occupied. He feared he’d hear your voice calling out to him, or hear your laughter in the sunlight. He dreaded feeling you over his shoulder only to turn around and find you out of his reach. He’d watched people pass, but this was unlike any parting he ever had to make. 

Albedo slumped into his desk chair, his absentminded hands drifted over the places he could remember you in. The sound of you working on the chalkboard, the rustle of paper and pen, the soft muttering as you read, the opening and closing of drawers as you moved around his items to make room for your own. He pulled open the top left drawer and laughed at how he could never find anything without you and that’s when he saw a letter. On the surface was his name written in your handwriting. 

Desperate, terrified, he lingered over it until he could bear it no longer. Albedo wept as he soaked in the words you were never able to tell him: 

Albedo, 

I wanted to thank you. From the moment we met, you were the person who was meant to be my partner in life. I’ve learned so much from you that I wish I had the time to pay it back tenfold. You pushed me, challenged me, encouraged me and helped me. I can’t ask for more but [words are smudged and unreadable] 

I know we were distracted from the research I originally came to assist you with, so I’ve written out a few notes that I think will aid you since, well, I am no longer there to do so myself. 

Truthfully, I didn’t want to go. No one ever wants to die, especially when they have someone like you by their side, but even though I am no longer with you, please don’t blame yourself. I never did. 

I [the words are blurred by tear stains] answers are out there, if anyone can find them, you can. Save the next person for me, okay? Oh, but, don’t forget [word is smudged] your life ... live your life, Albedo. 

I will always love you, Chief Alchemist 

y/n 

--

Diluc

he never imagined in his life he’d fall for someone, so while he worried and contemplated the truth of his feelings, he dreaded the thought of his darkness rubbing off on you - how could have have ever known that no amount of saving, spending, fighting, would ever keep you in his arms  

He found himself distracted by you every day. It didn’t matter what you did, where you went, or how you carried yourself - to him you were always the best sight in the world to see. Today was like any other, perfect from dawn to dusk until, suddenly, every nightmarish fear came crashing through his heart like a monster destroys a home. 

You were busy by the grape vines, your face showed no signs of discomfort but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. When the two of you woke up, seemed you moved slower than normal and, every once in awhile, you winced for no reason. You passed it off as nothing, a gentle pat on his arm to let him know you were okay, a soft smile and a reassuring kiss against his scared skin. You said you were okay; he trusted you. 

Diluc was busy talking to several of his employees when his eyes caught you fanning yourself and gripping onto the side of a cart; he was asked a question so he neglected the gnawing thoughts building in his chest. 

A business conversation, a sentence half-made as his whole world came crashing down when the sound of someone desperately called your name. He was gone in an instant and pushed his way to you, bending knee holding you steady, hand cupping your face, blood going cold at the oddness of your skin. “I’m - I’m alright.” You panted, eyes heavy, focus distorted. 

“Call the doctor. Now.” Diluc lifted you in his arms. He could hear you try to reassure him everything was fine but he couldn’t make it out over the scolding, reprimanding thoughts that whispered: he had failed you. 

no one could have known, no one could have foreseen the outcome - but everyone could feel the suffering spilling from the bedroom

Maids glanced at the closed door as they went about their work, attendants reached for the knob or tried to spy the words inside only to be shooed away by Adelinde  

when the doctor finally left and word spread of your fate, the once colorful winery slipped into grey 

“Don’t push yourself.” Adelinde reminded you as she reached for your hand. Everything hurt. Your muscles ached, your head throbbed, the mere action of stepping out of the bathtub made you want to throw up. It wouldn’t have mattered much, you barely eat anything anyway. “Let me help.” 

“I can do it myself -- ah!” You pushed her away only to stumble into the bathroom countertop. Your hands slipped on the marble surface, elbow crashing against it. That would surely leave a bruise. 

“Y/N!” 

“I said - I’m - I’m f-fine!” The tears began to fall and you crumpled to the floor while Adelinde surrounded you in the softest towels she could find and patiently waited for you to find your footing. “... wha-what’s wrong with me, Adelinde?” you trembled while she hushed your tears.  

you were getting worse - every treatment ended up making you sicker, every idea was wasted, every hope shattered into despair 

you just wanted to give up, but he never did 

“Diluc.” You whispered against his hand. It was impossible for you to get up anymore. Walking was excruciating, bending your limps, your joints sent waves of discomfort through you. Your days were drawing to a close but, as if to buy you a little bit more time, Diluc confined you to the bed and spent every waking moment with you. “Hey, sleepy.” You called out to him but he didn’t answer. He was exhausted, you were exhausted, but there was a looming fear that if you closed your eyes you’d never see him again. 

Trembling, you stretched your hand toward his face. It felt like your bones were shattering in your arms but you braved the pain for him. In the last few months you’d only ever seen him with a contorted, serious, hidden expression as if he were trying to stay strong. If only you had that resolve too, but you were terrified. Terrified of losing him, terrified of what was to come ... terrified of ... dying. 

You missed those days when he courted you. Missed the days where he smiled in the shadow of the world, just so you could see him. Missed how he laughed and lifted you high, or held you close knowing you wouldn’t break in his arms. You missed the life that should have been yours, and you were furious it wouldn’t be. 

“Please, please Barbados - give me more time.” Pulling his hand to your lips, you placed a wet kiss to them before turning into your pillow and crying until sleep forcibly took you. 

the winery shut down - no more orders, no more wine, no more anything. Angels Share had turned into a place of prayer even though it seemed sacrilegious to beckon to the gods in a place where most people desired to get away from them 

Diluc barely held himself together but he braved every day for you - but on this day - the day he lost you ... 

“There’s no more time.” The doctor whispered to the broken man by the door. A heavy hand rested on his shoulder but it provided no comfort to his crumbling heart. “It’s best you ... say your goodbyes.” Diluc looked at the physician sharply as if his words offended him, but the quiet intruder only closed their eyes before slipping down the hall. 

“D-Diluc.” You cried out and he, on shaking legs, made his way to your side. 

“I’m here.” He replied, or at least he hoped he did. He wasn’t sure how to speak much these days. 

“It hurts.” He knelt beside you, hands reaching for your own as his head fell onto the sheets that held your scent. “I think - I think ... Diluc ..” Your throat clenched and the tears began to fall. No matter what he did to brush them away, nothing mattered. “I don’t want to ... I can’t leave you.” 

“It’s going to be alright,” He lied, unsure what else to say and hoping, maybe, if he believed in it strong enough it would come true. “You won’t.” He brushed your hair from your face, his fingers stroked your skin as he leaned in to kiss you. 

“I’m scared.” 

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, neither are you.” Your lips trembled, your watering eyes blocked out the world so you closed them. Diluc desperately wished you’d keep them open. Let him see, let him see you for as long as he could.

please don’t leave - please don’t leave - please don’t leave me too 

You tried to speak but your breathing became erratic so he pressed his hand to your chest, softly guiding you with his words and his actions to ease your breathing, to calm you down but you couldn't. You could feel it, you knew it was time - and you were furious. Whining, crying, you reached for him neck and held on with all the strength you had left. “I don’t want to - I love --” 

What does it feel like to hold onto your heart only to feel it slip away? It’s nothing anyone can ever explain but, for Diluc Ragnvindr, it’s a curse he can never escape. 

You trembled, tightened your grip, tried to say his name in the voice he loved so much. He didn’t let you go until he realized you weren’t there anymore. 

“Y/N?” Diluc lifted his head, eyes searching yours for a reply. For the first time in so long time he gazed at the relaxed, peaceful expression on your face. Deep down in his heart he knew what it meant. No longer were you suffering, no longer did you hold fear in your heart, no longer would you be hungry or thirsty ... no longer ... 

He brushed away your final tears but couldn’t stop himself from slipping into the tortured blackness of his broken heart as he collapsed onto your chest and when he found he could no longer hear your once comforting heartbeat he screamed.

You were gone and he begged the world to take him with you. 

--

Thoma

to look at the world and see all it’s capabilities, this trait showed it’s face the day after he washed up on shore. There was nothing holding him back anymore as he braved the world ahead and, much to his surprise, he caught your eye and felt like the luckiest man in the world - so why was this happening, he had never broken his promises before -- what went wrong 

Thoma spotted you wandering through the harbor. He’d seen you plenty of times but, for some reason, he felt drawn to you as you passed by vendor after vendor, hands clasped around a small money pouch, a careful eye on all the items for sale. It appeared like you were searching for something but unable to find it. 

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a small hairpin, maybe about this long, that isn’t too extravagant. Do you sell anything like that?” The vendor thought for a moment before shaking his head. You did the same before waving a friendly goodbye. 

“... Ah - Um, excuse me,” Thoma interjected, catching you slightly off guard. You seemed unsteady, your eyes scanning your surroundings before you took a deep breath. “Sorry, did I startle you?” 

“No, I’m alright. Can I help you?” 

“Oh, yes, haha,” Thoma rubbed the back of his head before finishing, “Please don’t think it’s rude, but I overheard you are looking for a hairpin?” 

“Mmm, for a friend, yes.” Squinting your eyes, you looked at him curiously. 

“I believe I know a place, plus, it’ll be far cheaper than anything you’d find in the harbor.” He leaned in to keep his voice low enough to not be heard by anyone other than the two of you, “The vendors here are known for charging unreasonable prices.” 

“... I see.” You were hesitant, that was apparent, so Thoma did his best to reassure you. 

“I’m sorry, I guess it would be rather odd to just follow someone. I’ll write directions for you and you can go with someone you trust.” He searched his bag for something to write with but you cut him off. 

“I try not to live my life through fear, but if you murder me, I will haunt you forever.” 

Thoma burst into laughter and threw up his hands, “I promise I won’t.” 

“A-Alright, but ... I walk a little slow.” 

“No worries, I’ve got time.” He instinctually offered you his hand but, after finding that was strange, not only by the awkward silence in the air, but also by your expression, he pulled it back and gestured in the direction of the shop. 

spending time with you was fun, exciting, and he grew attached to you quickly -- but 

he could tell there was a secret you were keeping from him. it wasn’t his place to pry - but he couldn’t help but notice how winded you became, how tired you were, how some days the color in your face would shift to hues he’d never seen before ... or the bruises that weren’t there the day before, no seemed to appear at random 

You coughed and the feeling rattled your lungs. Secretly you hoped this would only last a minute, but it was turning into one of your fits at the worst possible time. 

The tea-cup rattled as you nearly dropped it on the table so you could grip your clothes and cover your mouth with your other hand. It hurt, it hurt so much. It felt like knives were climbing their way up your esophagus. Your back tensed, bones cracked, your neck grew tight and it was becoming hard to breathe, but you couldn’t stop coughing. 

Thoma rushed to your side - when did he even make it back into the room - and did his best to help. He’d seen you collapse before, seen you sick, but you hoped your dear friend would never have to see you lost in a fit like this. It was scary to you, how horrifying would it be to an outsider. 

“T-Th-ma -” You croaked through violent coughs and gasps for air. His hand moved to your narrowed view and you grasped it until the fit subsided. 

“Breathe slow, steady,” he repeated until your coughs transitioned into shaky breaths; he poured a glass of water for you. “Can you drink?” You nodded and took small sips of the refreshing liquid. It felt good against your burning throat but you tried not to drink too much to set it off again. 

“S-Sorry,” you mumbled, voice cracking and breaking between sips of water. 

“Don’t be sorry. D-Does that happen often?” 

You nodded, “Sometimes, but it’s getting worse ...” Somewhere in the back of your mind you knew what it meant but refused to accept it. Perhaps if you denied the truth long enough, you could spent more days with your friend and the man you --

“Let me get you a blanket, your shivering.” Thoma left your side and that’s when you realized the red reflecting in the glass wasn’t from his jacket. 

it sucked, it was unfair - you wanted to blame him, wanted to push him away but you couldn’t find the strength to do it 

all your life you had kept yourself safe from the reality that weighed you down, “you aren’t meant to live in this world, y/n, so don’t - no matter what - get attached to it” 

The cool breeze felt refreshing on your heated skin. It wasn’t great for you to be out with a fever, but your body was always warm now. It’s goal was to fight the illness raging inside of you but it was failing, you were failing, and your time was running short. 

All you wanted was to be alone. All you wanted was to be by Thoma’s side. All you wanted was more fucking time but you weren’t going to get any of that. How was it that in a world full of visions that could burn, consume, reshape, and heal, not a single one of them could make you better. 

You were furious years ago, but now you were bitter. 

A familiar voice called out to you but you hated its sound because it reminded you of all the things you’d never be able to do. It painted pictures in your mind that you’d never be able to see. The voice brought you life didn’t understand that you were nothing but death to it. 

“y/n?” 

“Leave, Thoma.” 

“I brought you your favorite. Why don’t we go inside where it’s warm and eat it together.” 

“I don’t want to. Please, just go.” Your voice broke, you wrapped the thin blanket around your body as if to protect you from the cold truth. 

“You should eat. It’ll make you stronger.” 

“Stronger, right.” 

“Come on,” The dish he made came into view as he rested it on the railing but as soon as you felt him touch you, you backed away, stumbling on your weak legs. 

“No. J-Just go, please.” The tears were threating to fall but when you looked at the pain on his face their threat became reality. “... what is wrong with me?” you covered your eyes, the emotions in your chest made you cough and your mind dizzy. 

“You’re just sick, why don’t we rest.” 

“NO!” You screamed, catching him off-guard, his hands hovering just above your elbows, ready to catch you. “Thoma, I’m dying. Don’t you get that!? I don’t know how much longer I have and I don’t know why you’re here. What? Do you want to watch me waste away? I can barely eat, I can barely walk, I can barely keep myself from falling fo --” you stopped yourself by clasping your hand over your mouth. When you felt composed, you turned to walk away from him, “leave Thoma, go live your life.” 

“My life is right here.” 

The sincerity in his voice forced a sob through your tight throat, another cough followed shortly as you collapsed toward the railing. Thoma rushed to the other side to offer his support and though his touch electrified your very being, it also broke your heart. 

“This is the one thing I didn’t want ...” you cried, body trembling as you reached and held onto his arm for dear life. He waited, he always waited, “... I didn’t want to do this. I kept to myself because being with people was too hard. Allowing myself to get close meant I’d have to say goodbye ... Thoma, I wish I’d never met you ... then I .. I,” you held onto him tighter and looked into his eyes, “I wouldn’t have fallen in love just to lose it ...” With no more strength left, your knees gave way but Thoma caught you, he always caught you. 

“I’ve got you. I’m here,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around you. His fingers brushed your hair as he spoke, “You won’t lose it. You won’t -” he reassured, pleaded, hoped, but as he held you while you sobbed, both of you knew it was the only lie Thoma would ever tell. 

it only got worse - you stopped eating, barely drank. you were confined to the bed but slept more often than you were awake. it was painful to breathe and you were exhausted all the time until one day -- when everything finally eased 

You felt something cold against your lips, your eyes fluttered open to see what it was but you could hardly make anything out. It was too bright so you close them again and listened to the sounds in the room. 

“Hey there,” Thoma’s voice greeted you so you turned toward it. “Try to sleep some more, it’s still early.” He sounded so close but so far away. There was a strangeness in his tone you couldn’t place. 

“mmm,” shaky as your hand was, you managed to lift it enough for him to grab it. The sensation of his warmth spread up your arm and reached your heart as if that was his very goal in life. “... love ...” 

Thoma’s lips connected to your fingers and though he tried to hide it, you could hear the strain in his voice as he answered you, “I love you, too. Try to ... sleep, okay?” You squeezed his hand and he returned the gesture while you drifted back to sleep. 

-- 

Thoma was the one who saw you when no-one else did. He was the one who helped you through so many difficulties when you swore it would all fall on your shoulders alone. He burst into your life like a dog welcoming you home; you swore to never get attached, but Thoma made that impossible. 

He was the one who held you when you couldn’t stop shaking, he was the one who made sure you could eat, even if it required the most intense preparation. When others couldn’t be there, he was at your side and, in the final days, he held your hand until all life from it faded away. 

Thoma saw you live and he watched the way you died. 

As he laid the flowers on your grave, he let his hand rest against your name just to feel close to you one last time, “You said you weren’t meant for this world, but you were meant for mine ...” he stumbled over the final words as he spoke, “you were mine.” 

what is a memory - something you can’t touch 

what is love - something you can’t hold onto 

what is life - empty, without you 

---

tag list: (broken tags)

@star-gods @mercurysmaiden @dourpeep @clemmywrites @handswritteeen @musekala  @mooshymello  @glazelilyy @twokissesforamelia @smol-knife @aoirohi @mguerra11 @lucy-roo @ryekoo @nonniechan @tempehlust @zenith-impact @plumpkie @jaggedsi @salty-salty @onlyhereforinteractivestories @liebestraumss @jaemjenjam @softlybeloved @anatthesavage @mkazuyuh @excitedlysuffering @yujiia @cytomegalia @nua-fromliyue @yoshikuno  @anonymousficreader @cyphermagic​ @akira-kiryu @lenioxoxo @justfandomlover @duskdawn052 @emeixho @yanfei-main771 @musical-gravity @1-800-beidou @makinouri @my-dear-wendy @alatuszc @dearest-ei @x-madeline-x​ @jahnvi-d​ @blushingskywalker @cherryflushz @lucy-roo​ @sufzku​ @uchihaeirin​ @kazuhasupremacyy @scaracock @starserene @bloodreaper08 @disoriented-fish​ @straymoon96 @x-zho @kartoffelgrace @sunny-star021 @3slicedbananas   @noctua-koi​                                                                          

[dourpeep]

Oh god okay this is like super old (you can tell because it was from Shadows Amdist Snowstorms HA SO TWO YEARS) but I still like this even if it's not entirely finished so don't mind me. I'll likely reblog later with more rambles dksnf

--

HELLO HI

I just remembered one of my absolute favorite things in philosophy and the social sciences--simulacrums.

In this case, I'm specifically going to rant about a specific type of simulacrum, or a perversion of reality (Baudrillard's idea of simulacrums) as well as play-by-play of major spoilers for the event story for 2.3 shadow amidst snowstorms.

Everything's gonna be under the cut, because this is going to be a doozy.

Alright alright alright, essentially, the easiest way that I've found to explain a simulacrum in the sense of it being a perversion of reality is two identical paintings. Both are visually the same--same color, same style, same mediums used, right?

However, no matter the skill of the artist replicating (or even if it is the same artist who did two at once), the paintings will never truly be exactly the same. One will always be a facsimile of the original.

Now, you might be wondering: "But Basil? You just said that they'll never be exactly the same but then went on to say that the replica is a facsimile? But doesn't facsimile mean that it is an exact copy? So it'd be the same, right?"

Well, exactly that--in the definition itself, the word "copy" is housed. So while it is correct to assume that they'd be the same, it would be just as incorrect to assume that they're carbon copies. Confusing. Very much so, so I'll move right back to the point-

OKAY

So in the terms of two paintings that look exactly the same, use the same materials, same style--the catch is that the replica (whether it be produced at the same time or leagues in the future) will never be the exact same as the original. Think of it in more of a sense of structure. There are the subtle nuances in the pressure of the brush, the angle, the pigments used, the amount of hairs of said brush that make contact with the canvas itself and drag to create strokes-

And due to these little differences, is why the replica will never be the same.

This is the bare-bones idea of a simulacrum.

As such, a simulacrum is, by definition, a representation or imitation of a person or a thing.

(a very general definition, which is why I used the painting metaphor first)

The word itself hold negative connotation in the sense that, if you were to call something a simulacrum, you are essentially stating that no matter the attention to detail, no matter if the end result is an exact replica--that is all it will ever be, a replica.

But we can also take the idea of a simulacrum and say that describing something as a simulacrum is also acknowledging it's individuality, where no matter how close it may be to it's predecessor, it is considered an entirely separate entity because the differences, no matter how slight, are enough to create a new category for it.

We see this in the ideas of creating artificial intelligence with the appearance of a human--note, you wouldn't go and say that an Android is a human, rather they replicate or are modeled after such. And if we are to go into fiction, there are instances of Androids who have visually no differences to that of a human (take the game, Detroit: Become Human, as a prime example, or the movie Bi-Centennial Man). While the idea is acknowledged of the development of intelligence and self awareness, they are still considered 'Androids' rather than 'Human'.

In that case, the idea of a simulacrum is neither positive nor negative.

(keep this in mind)

Moving on again-

With the current game version's main event, Shadow Amidst Snowstorms, we see a simulacrum of Albedo, the Chief Alchemist--a doppelganger of him that, visually, is an exact copy apart from the lack of a diamond on his neck.

Apart from that slight visual difference, there are differences in the tones used as well as the speech patterns and thought processes in his lines.

While Albedo still is learning about the world, he takes everything with an openness that then calls for further thought--on the other hand, our dear doppelganger (we'll call him Rubedo as well for the sake of readability) has a more one-track mindset. When something comes up, he assesses, ironically taking it in as either valuable or not, and continues on.

This is mainly shown right after we, the Traveler, meet him the first time after gathering starsilver.

Rubedo is shown to acknowledge the fact that Albedo is looking for the thief, as is traveler, and when the starsilver is brought up, his idea that 'what is useless should be discarded' is only supported by what the traveler says about the quality of starsilver.

At first, it seems as if he learned this ideal from Traveler because directly after he leaves to lead Joel away and nearly causes grievous injury to the child, however, in part three, it's proven that this idea has long since been Rubedo's. Specifically, Rubedo's planned to get rid of Albedo to take his place instead.

From this we instead can take the starsilver incident as further dirt to the wound.

Rubedo sees himself as defective because he was not chosen to become human by Rhindottir, unlike Albedo. The bitterness in his lines--about how humans only judge for what is worth or not worth and cast away what they deem as trash--is proof to that.

[feralsmanicdreams]

Dolor [Albedo] [Repost]

Pairing: Albedo (Genshin Impact) x Fem!Reader (fem pronouns used)

Featuring: Klee

Warnings: Dark imagery, mentions of death, angst

dolor;;pain

In which Albedo learns new feelings and new losses.

'Pain; in it’s most pure form, comes from love lost and to never be had again.'

“ Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʏᴇs, ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ..”

‘The truth of this world…’  

Something that Albedo mumbled once in a blue, almost as if he was his normal self again. Then again, many would argue that he was never really normal in the first place. He was always the ever distanced and well distinguished alchemist of the Knights of Favonius. No one truly knew him well or personally, so it was more than a shock to others that he had found himself a special someone. He started to become his own sort of normal then. A little awkward mess of stumbles and soft words.

The adoration, however, was so very pure. It was so real and true- the kind that could change ones life, either by giving such feelings, or by being the lucky soul to receive them. 

He looked at you like you were the answer he was searching for. It was very flattering to have caught the attention of a man that had only shown interest in the most complicated forms of alchemy. Even more so when you had heard he could barely keep his attention on one project.

You often wondered what he saw in you. You felt you were a simple woman. You were not an alchemist like Sucrose or a hardened traveler like Lumine, two of plenty other special women he could have gotten with. Or quite literally anyone else. 

You were a normal citizen. You possessed no vision and did not seek to earn one. You merely ran your own little pastry shop in Mondstadt. You did not go adventuring and you did not much care for learning the wonders of the world.

Yet, somehow, you caught his attention. You’re not quite sure how or when, you just knew that suddenly he was a regular at your shop.

Then, through some awkward flirting and soft glances, something much more than that.

“Albedo, don’t you have something you need to finish?”, you ask, breaking the silence.

Soft teal eyes refused to tear themselves from you, “Quite fascinating, don’t you think?”, he mumbles, mostly to himself.

“Hmm?”

“This feeling… I’ve never felt this before… I wonder..”, he soon trails off, leaving you to wonder along with him, but for different reasons. Sometimes he makes you think he is more fascinated by the thought of him being in love, than actually being in love with you.

“ Pᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪsᴇ, ᴛᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇᴀᴍs..”

Albedo was very interested on creating life from nothing, or recreating life from something else and making something entirely new. Just as much as he liked turning the unknown into the known.

Yet, despite all his efforts, he found himself unable to do something he desperately needed. Nothing would ever be the same if he did not do what his foolish feelings were begging of him.

Everyone was growing increasingly concerned for him. His distance was slowly turning into complete disappearance. There became a time where not even Klee could find him.

“ I ᴡɪsʜ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇsᴄᴀᴘᴇ..”

His affection was awkward to put it nicely. He had never been in a relationship before. He had never kissed anyone or held their hand- he attempted to flatter but words seemed to fail him.

If you were honest it was a little funny as well as endearing. He could explain to you why the sky was blue and what chemicals made up the very air you breathe, but he couldn’t properly explain how you looked so nice in that dress you wore.

He couldn’t explain why he felt that holding your hand without his glove actually did feel as nice as you said it would.

He didn’t get what benefit there was to your lips touching his until you showed him. He wasn’t even sure what it was supposed to feel like but.. it felt nice. It felt like tiny sparks of electricity ran down his spine and stretched across his arms and legs. The touch of you was something he grew addicted to. The soft glide of your fingers through his hair- the warm caress of your lips along the skin of his cheek- your soft palm wrapped delicately around his own.

He craved his daily dose, more and more as the days with you went on.

You were a routine he never knew he would have or yearn for.

Sometimes though, alchemy would capture his attention once more, interrupting his usual craving.

“ Wɪsʜ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴇʀᴀsᴇ ɪᴛ..”

It happened again. Albedo disappeared for a time, but when he came back he wasn’t himself. He was angry. It was shocking to see him show such an emotion, especially since he didn’t snap at anyone. They couldn’t tell but it was because Albedo felt that snapping would be a waste of much needed energy.

He couldn’t afford to keep failing. He was losing time- preservation could only help him so much, if it was even any help at all. He couldn’t allow his anger to distract him but it was so hard to ignore. It flared up in his chest, demanding to be felt and acknowledged. It screamed in the recesses of his mind- echoing and bouncing around violently.

‘ Failure failure failure- Not only are you unable to complete your final assignment but you cannot fix what you have broken out of your own selfish need-’

“‘Bedo?”

Immediately everything vanishes from his mind. There were only three voices that could capture him instantly. One of which he had been cruelly snatched from while the other simply.. left him.

“Yes, Klee?”, he says, voice empty.

“… you look angry..”

He closes his eyes and sighs at that, “I am frustrated. It will pass.”

Slowly, she moves to stand next to him, lightly patting his leg for it was as high as she could reach, “Uhm… is.. can I help?”

He softly pats her head, unable to refrain from trying to do something that he learned as comforting. This wasn’t her problem to try to solve. “I appreciate the thought, but I have to do this by myself.”

Klee seems to visibly deflate a bit, it makes him feel… guilty? That might be how you would have described it.

She moves to touch his gloved hand atop her head with her smaller one, “…Is it a surprise for, ___? For when she comes back from her trip?”

Hearing your name gives him a wave of a very unpleasant feelings. It is as if his chest is caving in on itself, but when he looks down, nothing has changed but his now quickened breathing. He must have looked awful because Klee seems to tear up upon seeing his expression when she looks up. 

“I- I miss her too! Don’t worry ‘Bedo! She’ll be back very soon, right? And- and then we can go get some stuff from her shop! Everyone misses her shop! She wouldn’t let us all be sad!”

Her ranting turns to blubbering and once more Albedo feels regret- he wished Klee was old enough to be told the truth. However, she wasn’t so he does the only thing he can think to calm her. It’s something he only does when she is very upset, usually because she gently protests that she is a big girl and does not need to be picked up and held against his chest.

This time though, she welcomes it, latching onto him as soon as he leans down to pull her to him. She clutches at his shirt and does her best to quiet her little tears.

“‘B-Bedoo..”, she hiccups, “I-I miss her s-so much. We- we were so happy an-and… I hear- people s-say… she won’t b-be back. It hu-hurts- you always look so s-sad..”

He frowns to himself- yes, it hurts. So is this a new form of pain? “I’m sorry, Klee. I didn’t know- I… I’m sure she’ll be back.. I miss her just as much..”

“ Mᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ..”

Just as much as you fascinated Albedo, you also confused him. He didn’t believe in a normal. There was no normal. Everything was abnormal and different. Not all plants were the same, nor all experiments or people.

You were far from normal- in fact he often felt he was rather.. bland for a person like you. He didn’t mean it in an insecure way. It was more of an observation. You were adored by everyone that grew to know you.

The Knights liked to stop by your shop in the morning for refreshments to start their long days- or to indulge after a long night of work. That is how he found you. Your apron was coated in flour, your arms splotched here and there in sugars and spices. Your eyes had captivated him. There was an emotion in there he couldn’t describe and he wanted to know what it might be. What made your smile so bright? What joy did you gain that made it so?

Why did you make him feel this way?

You gave him swirls of questions he tried to answer before another came in. At first, you could say you simply fascinated him. He just wanted answers to his questions and then… well eventually, there was no purpose. It was just a want for your company- a selfish need.

One that cost him a hefty price he couldn’t afford.

There was no need for you to accompany him to Dragonspine. You didn’t much care for the cold and it was always crawling with hilichurls and the occasional Frostarm Lawachurl. However, he had invited you out of a selfish need. You had been missing his company since work kept taking him, and so you happily accepted. You bundled up in your best coats and packed for the travel. It would be your first adventure and though you were a little wary, you didn’t doubt Albedo’s promise of protection.

He was an alchemist first, but he was also a knight. He carried a sword with him.

Yet it all happened so fast- he was so taken by you. He was lost in his own mind, completely forgetting that he was supposed to be looking for needed ingredients. He was also supposed to be watching out, though he usually didn’t need to. Rarely did any enemies try to attack him, but he should have assumed they might try to attack you.

There was no time to attack- to block- to even scream.

One second you were there, smiling at him, eyelashes painted white with falling snow. It was such a lovely sight, he treasured it- and then suddenly, you were gone. Flung far past his sight, into nothing- no sound had left you- no scream of realization- just deafening silence.

It seemed you stepped too close into the territory of a nearby Frostarm Lawachurl. It overused it’s strength to move you away and the rational part of Albedo knew it was not fully at fault. However.. when it came to you.. his rationality tended to leave for a time.

“ Bᴜᴛ I’ᴍ ᴀ ʙᴀᴅ ʟɪᴀʀ, ʙᴀᴅ ʟɪᴀʀ ..”

To this day he cannot fully recall what happened after. You were gone and then he was kneeling over your lifeless body, covered in blood that was not his and..crying. In all his life, in every moment he can recall, not a single tear had ever fallen from his face. Not the tiniest drop had ever formed. Not when his teacher left him- not in any moment he had accidentally caused himself physical pain- never.

The tears wouldn’t stop- the sobbing was violent and almost disgusting. He sounded absolutely miserable in the echoes of himself that his brain could register. The dull color in your eyes was the last devastating blow, right alongside the knowledge that you were gone from this world. He was left behind to leave the mess he felt he created.

His own learned love had cost him his everything-

People mourned. They left flowers and gifts all along the outside of your shop No one was allowed to take over your space, not that any wanted to. There were letters and tears and speeches. You left more of an impact than you would have guessed.. even more when their search parties turned up with no trace of you. They knew you would not be found alive, as per Albedo’s recollection of the events that transpired.

He could not tell them he had found you immediately. No.

Albedo could create life from nothing or create new life entirely. There had to be a way to bring you back. Alchemy had a plethora of answers and different solutions, surely he could find something..

Hidden in the depths of Dragonspine where nothing but ice existed, he kept you. A part of him felt and knew how wrong this was- the cold would only keep you so long and you deserved a proper burial but… he couldn’t let you go. He needed you back.

There had to be a way, no matter how much he failed or how angry he got, he had to succeed. He loved you. It was beyond fascination- far beyond any comprehension.

Without you he would be a shell of who he once was- now he is a mess of regrets and what if’s. What if he had left you alone? What if he went by himself? What if you didn’t grow to love him? What if he never got to hear your voice again? What if what if what if- why hadn’t he just left you alone..

As he gazes upon your form frozen in time, he gains his answer. He learns of something new.

Pain; in it’s most pure form, comes from love lost and to never be had again.

“ Nᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ, ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ..”

[fat-hedonistic-hogs]

"I'll kick your ass!"

"Seriouslt WHAT is happening with this timeline?"

[citrinitxs]

I'm back bitches (died for x amount of time because college exists)

[tenebriism]

" I'm in a poor mood today. " Why, one may ask? " . . . Tighnari said my jokes were . . . ' Candy Corn-y. '