#Also I didn't put the other schools like Shadow and such bc I don't know them rip

[wizardgame100]

Also you should totally reblog this and put in the tags which one you picked VS what you actually play AND what about the School's aesthetic you enjoy <333

[u3pxx]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S 2024?!?!

next, you're gonna tell me it's gonna be some made-up year like "2025" next. tch, imagine that.

anyways, whoo! 2023! compared to both 2022 and 2021, i gotta say, my art style took a hard swerve in some direction this year. i mean, look at that klavier from january and that butch kim from just this december! (granted, i heavily referenced the portrait of butch kim but still, i didn't use to paint! mama mia!)

---

the way i drew faces has definitely changed, that's what i get for getting into something that's live-action and into smth that has realistically proportioned art lol

OH! OH! HOW COULD I FORGET!!! IT WAS (and still will be) THE YEAR OF THE OLD MAN!! i really learned how to draw aged faces this year! ach fraulein, i have not stopped drawing people in their 40's-50's! i would say "send help" but i'm actually having a lot of fun ASKSKS

---

i think a funny thing about these art summaries i've done is that they're mostly ace attorney but then there's just a month where i become a different type of ill LMAO this year it was four months for the price of two new interests!

cheers! here's to 2024!!! hope y'all have a fun art year!!!!

---

i'm gonna ramble more below about like, other art things i did this year but i'm gonna put it under 'keep reading' bc this baby is getting way too wordy now WHEEZES

1. FAVORITE THINGS I'VE DRAWN THIS YEAR (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

⚖️ mea culpa comic [x]

drawing this one was so time-consuming and ambitious but boy, do i love the end result! i had fun doing the inks for this one but was it a lot! i usually color in lineart and render everything but i had to stop myself from doing it for this one bc man, i'll die asksks

this also has some of my favorite apollos i've drawn, definitely

also! the part about the lineart not being colored and no rendering ended up being a deliberate stylistic choice for this one bc i had like more freedom to do just shadows with inks without it looking too out of place.

💐 my lawfully wedded zine spread [x]

now this one isn't out yet but take my word for when i say that this is one of the most craxy things i've ever drawn for this year, on account of drawing a comic AND group shot all in one!

also literally one of the prettiest things i've rendered this year, lookit that klav...

🎉 aa4 redraw - 2022 anniversary [x]

kind of like my wedding zine piece, group photos are insane, and rendering like uhhh [looks at drawing] 11 CHARACTERS IS ALSO INSANE if i try and draw a group photo again you have to stop me DFGHDJ

🎨 my art fight stuff [x] [x]

was possessed in the month of july or smth bc i pumped out like how many drawings so quickly (before i got burnt out that is pftt)

pace yourselves and don't be like me pls ajshgdghhjk

💥 people park day [x]

my friend told me that it was very obvious i watched across the spiderverse when they saw this FDFGHJD

but yea! this is when i started getting really into like, thought bubbles or just like, panels or drawings within a drawing when coming up with layouts

i still love the colors on this one...

🪩 fem disco portraits

ok so i haven't uploaded these yet but you have to trust me when i say that something was in the water DFGHDJ

who knew that all it took for me to learn how to paint was butches

2. ALSO DID YOU KNOW THAT I SOLD STICKERS THIS YEAR IN OUR UNI'S ART MART?

THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THAT SCHOOL I SWEAR PFTTT this experience has also awaken the merch beast in me and i need to make more physical things for my brain to be happy, that's just how it be pfttt

hopefully next year i can actually start like a shopee shop or whatever lmao

3. ART FIGHT

i'm actually quite happy i got to participate in art fight this year! very delighted for all the art i've gotten and very fun to have drawn for others too!!

4. ZINES

i got invited and joined so many zines from 2022 continuing to 2023 that i kind of got burnt out from participating for now ngl ASKSKSKS not gonna be joining much this year oopsiessss! (unless i lose self-control [very likely])

5. SCHOOL

i don't actually like a lot of the stuff i draw for art school bc i tend to cram and not have fun pftt <- adhd moment, tragic! but here are some that i actually kind of like lol

6. THAT'S IT!

i think that's it! thanks for reading all the way down here!! o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

[kleefkruid]

It's interesting how 'I tought myself how to draw using youtube videos' has created a pretty distinctive style. I don't mean that everyone who was self taught trough the internet draws exactly the same don't get me wrong. But I was walking on the art market trying to see as much as I could of the 85 artists, and from the ones I can pick out as online artists (and they're are of course plenty I must have passed where I didn't have a clue) there were some recognisable elements from a distance that made me go "Ah yes, an artist from the school of the internet"

It's something in the colorscheme people use, and also the general outline of characters. It's like you can recognise the animators for Calarts versus other animators. Because it's not a "lol digital artists can only draw one way" because I can also spot people who got their illustration degree at my uni bc their head teacher had a specific way of filling the entire page that they also adapted.

So yeah, it's not bad, everyone has their influence. I'd just say two things about it which is one, don't draw like that if you think you have too, by which I mean never even open one of those "You're drawing shadows wrong" clickbait videos on youtube. There's no rule like that. But if you're drawing the way you like and that feels natural then you're on the right track! (art uni has bad art teachers you just ignore and the internet does too, but online you don't even have to pretend to listen to get a passing grade, huray!)

Second think I would say, when I was talking about the illustration department at my uni: at one point there was a collective show of everyone who graduated in that department, and I could not see where one artist ended and the others began. In this case it was bc the teacher had gotten too strict (I also had a class with her and hooh boy I ended up making up a parody of her style bc she hated everything and she liked that 💀) There was however one student who had put embroidery trough her paper. I remember that. She's the only one I can distinctly remember bc she had a thing. So if you're drawing in a popular style, try to find your niche. Something you love drawing more, a color you really love.

Saying 'you need to have your own style' can be debillitating to an artist bc there is no unique style to find, you're always a collage of everything you love. But it is good to think, if my work hangs in a line with others, how would my friends pick it out. They're usually better at that too, my loved ones can pick out work of me even if I think it's in a wildly different style. I call it a fingerprint, and it's usually there before you know.

But just, get weird with it. Print out your drawing and put stiches in it like that girl did and scan it in again. Draw upside down. Draw everything in greytones and then add color. Draw some classic painting in a widly different style. Make 5 second sketches of people walking by. It's not the style you use that makes you a better or 'legitimate' artist, but the ways you fuck around. There's nothing wrong with drawing chibi art, but draw it in charcoal sometimes. Or on an elaborate oil painting. Or hell do watch those clickbait youtube video's but follow their advice oppposite and see what funky shit you end up with.

[arcplaysgames]

Teddie continues to be one of my faves. Empathetic lil ball of void and mystery.

ALSO GUESS WHO THAT'S RIGHT ITS THE BEST PERSONA

Kanji's showdown with his Shadow is way more intense than the others, honestly. There is some fucking intense angst here. (Also, Troy Baker my beloved never puts in less than 120%, we all knew this.)

I was curious how I would feel about All This in the year 2023 after having played this waaaaaay back when it first came out on PS2. I have my expectations set for "dated but potentially interesting" and I'm not disappointed (yet). Like, boy howdy, all of this? Super tracks.

Being queer, especially for someone like Kanji, is rrrrrrrrough. How much of his hypermasculine punk persona is artifice and how much is it truly himself? He's not the stereotypical young queer guy that his Shadow is mocking him with but he's also not devoid of those markers, and he's banging his head against the wall of cisnormativity and the dreaded Genders.

This game has some, aaaaah, opinions on girls. Or, I guess, hetero people and the whole... preoccupation with romance? Like, did anyone else get That Prank in school? Where a popular person of the opposite gender rolls up and asks you out, with the intention of mocking you for ever thinking you were in their league?

One of the jocks did that to me in HS and I completely didn't Get It and turned him down, and like... you wanna see some shithead boys who don't know how to handle that social script, ha.

My point is: boy howdy, Kanji. It's hard out here for anyone and everyone who isn't perfectly conforming to that specific ideal.

Anyway, Kanji says The Thing and passes out and Shadow Kanji happens.

And BOY I like the mechanics on this one and the implicit storytelling of them. Shadow Kanji is flanked by two very tough adds, Tough Guy and Nice Guy. Everyone on the team has a different weakness, and they all add shields to each other and buff each other to cover for their weaknesses.

It is, in many senses, how queer people, especially queer men, provide cover for each other as needed. Strength in numbers and being willing to help.

Looooong fight but not difficult.

VERY amusing to me that Shadow Kanji gets up and basically takes a verbal swing at Mister Repression here. Yosuke is more panicked than literally everyone here, ha.

Kanji fucking punching his Shadow to make him knock it tf off and then like almost... it's not kindness, but it's like... I'm grasping for the word. It's camaraderie? Like, he wouldn't punch someone else's Heightened Queersona, but he will punch his own bc he understands it and thus himself.

Does that make any sense?

ANYWAY I AM HYPED FOR KANJI. /blows a kiss to troy baker my favorite witch

also his persona is a skeleton with an axe so i'm excited

[wof-reworked]

I think that there are other animus tests in other tribes as a “just in case” any one could be it (also sunny could have animus children unless stonemover did something)

Oh yeah for sure, I think Skywings in canon actually do test new hatchlings pretty often since animus magic is completely banned. I think for the other tribes it's probably most often a school thing- when animus magic is taught in school, a fun activity is having the students try testing if they're animuses. Rainwings... I think don't test formally, Mudwings don't at all. It's sort of a curiosity all dragonets try out once, even Rainwings/Mudwings once they learn about it from older dragons.

And yeah I think Sunny should be able to have animus kids, I choose to kind of ignore Jerboa III's thing just bc,,, it feels like kind of a dumb decision bc Tui ended up making animus magic even more overpowered and needed them gone bc they could just solve a ton of problems. 

I think the idea that animus magic erodes at a dragon is more interesting- I don't think it's necessarily a morals thing and the idea of a soul as a physical thing that controls your ethics (that can also be literally measured and eaten through) is dumb, but that said- I think every enchantment does involve putting a piece of the enchanter into the object- in a strange sense it makes the enchanted thing Alive, at the expense of burning through your livelihood/tearing off a chunk of your own vitality to sustain it. Of course, using animus magic in moderation makes this pretty surviveable- an animus dragon might feel kind of dissociated and nauseus after a small spell, but this goes away within 4-5 hours, potentially longer depending on the spell in question. But animus dragons who overuse their powers burn through their lifespan and energy, becoming almost like gaunt, walking corpses towards the end. Their wings too heavy to carry them or even to be folded, they walk along the ground with their wings and tail dragging through the dust, their eyes glazed over and their body cold to the touch. Albatross did actually avoid this fate for the most part by layering small spells over each other to create the castle- he more or less just broke emotionally and the stress of continually using his animus magic didn't help him at all either, wearing away at his will to continue.

This is also why animus dragons are cautioned heavily away from enchanting living animals directly- that person is already Alive, and inserting a piece of yourself into them can be considered a rather invasive and taboo subject, even when done with consent of both participants or out of necessity. Dragons with a spell on them (vs carrying an animus enchanted object) often describe the sensation as "feeling like having two shadows"- it’s the sensation of someone or something else being attached to you, that person’s essence living in the back of your brain like an intrusive thought. It's rather unpleasant and hard to pin down (especially if you don't know what it's from, like Kinkajou). Dragons enchanting themselves has much less risk but can still lead to some incredibly uncanny feelings. 

Sorry this turned into just animus thoughts, thanks for the ask !!

[letsplayballet]

alright, losing my mind about october 3rd in my persona 5 royal replay in 3, 2, 1, go!

first off, this whole thing SUCKS. hearing the vice principle talk about a dead girl and her grieving sister as "wastes of effort" is so infuriating i don't have the words. why is this school the absolute worst (but also why isn't is further out of the realm of possibility)

but onto the important bits that i missed my first run through:

starting off strong is this tasty piece of dialogue, bc that's the problem, isn't it? sumire *isn't* kasumi, even when she thinks she is. she's still anxious and unsure, still unsatisfied with herself to the point of having significant mental health issues (though sumire-as-kasumi is headed towards perfection-seeking overworked burnout, instead of her more typical major depression).

side note: the fact that maruki insists she's better off like this really shows that he thinks about pain and trauma very... shallowly? i guess would be the word? it's very surface level, instant gratification stuff. is she less actively suicidal? yeah! is she actually better? of course not! bc she is *still sumire* and still has those thought patterns and instincts that lead her to that mindset, but instead of having the tools to deal with those thoughts in a healthy manner she has an "i'm happy and perfect :)" mask that she feels she has to live up to. repression isn't healing. maruki do your fucking job challenge.

anyway.

so we get the keywords from her pep talk and a random couple, get sucked into the palace, and hunt her down to find her confronting what you THINK is her dead sister your first run, but is pretty obviously sumire herself on repeat plays:

this dialogue didn't make a lot of sense to me my first run, to the point i forgot it was there, but DAMN does it hit this time. her guilt over her sister's death, her complete inability to face it, is VERY apparent. sumire gets so upset over seeing maruki's cognitive version of her, and you really get the impression that she's not even sure *why* she's so upset. sure, it's her dead "sister", but we've already seen her brush that off pretty easily the first time we went to odiba. and given the headache she gets right after, it's pretty clear the real sumire is close to breaking out of the kasumi mask.

and when the shadow attacks the cognitive sumire, she goes down easy.

which is indicative of something maruki says in the third semester: that he thinks sumire is TOO WEAK to handle her own trauma. that the only way she can live at all, much less happily, is by being someone else entirely. that sumire *doesn't even deserve a chance to try*.

... this is NOT the post for my rant about maruki's god complex and how it undermines any "help" he's supposedly trying to offer, but these images are here just so you know it exists

luckily, sumire is able to fight back:

and i do think this is elements of the actual sumire coming through! i'm not sure if sumire's idealized version of kasumi would be fazed enough by criticism to get angry about it. and we know their promise to each other about gymnastics is important to sumire, especially as the only sister left to fill it. if i'm remembering her third semester confidant stuff right, it seems to be one of the few totally positive memories she has of her sister, even with how much pain constantly being compared to kasumi in gymnastics has brought her.

and these pieces of sumire breaking through the brainwashing are probably why she's able to awaken to a persona, even though she literally has no idea who she actually is (and thus shouldn't be able to confront her true self and get one). ESPECIALLY since her persona references the fact that she's not herself!

i did not manage to grab "if those really are the shoes you've chosen..." but that also applies, as does the fact that her hair comes down for her transformation (the way sumire wears it, instead of kasumi's ponytail) but is put back up by the end.

this got, uh. long. but the point is i love her dearly and maruki can go fuck himself.

[blackwitchspace]

Cw: Reflection, Meditation Afterthought, Long Post

Tw: De_th, Spirits, Veil, Supernatural

Since growing up, I didn't understand why I couldn't be up at night while everyone else was sleeping and the earth, at least on our side, was quiet and still. I would constantly ask my mother to put me in "night school" because day time really disturbed me lmao. During that particular time my premonitions were becoming more frequent, spirits revealed themselves more and downloads sounded like a static filled radio stations (on was still learning how to hone my gift) and I know people joke about "witching hours" but the energy is completely different around a certain time of night.

Witching hours, depending on who you ask, start around 1am but the Veil between life and death are it's thinnest between 3&4. Typically during this time the Spirit World is able to visit us a lot easier. The witching hour came from ppl assuming witches cast their spells in the blackness of night undetected 🙄 When certain religions like Christians refer to WH it's bc its believed that's when Christ died. Religious beliefs place his death at 3 pm, and because the "devil" works in inversions, the witching hour, or the time when we are farthest from holy power and supernatural activity is at its greatest, is 3 am.

I've had the pleasure of sitting with people as they cross over, a Death Doula of sorts, and it's usually around the 3am mark. My grandfather reached for me while taking his last breathe around 312 I was angry at him bc I'd just warmed up a quesadilla and was so looking forward to eating it. I was awaken from my sleep unable to breathe when my cousin expired from asphyxiation around 320. I thought I was having an asthma attack, we did everything I knew to do. Breathing treatment, cool air, nothing was working. I remember receiving a phone call about thirty minutes later that he was gone. He was in Cali and Me in Chicago but it felt like for that moment we were every where and no where together.

My earliest memory is of my father which I share often. Around 330 on the 4th of July. I was five. I woke from my sleep telling everyone he was about to d_e but the adults around me assumed it was a fever dream and gave me meds that put me back to sleep which I'm told it was a very active sleep. He succumbed to his injury soon after I settled. I was visiting Alabama at the time and he was in Texas.

Other than de_ath, spiritual downloads are easier to be received during this time and manifesting is also better (especially if you manifest simultaneously with a release/orgasm truthfully masturbation is a great spiritual tool).

A lot of us are doing some sort of work on ourselves that include being comfortable with yourself as your personal gifts are introduced. Till this day I surprise myself being able to tell someone what I see in front of them while being no where near them. Admittedly it used to be scary bc I thought "there's no way this is for real" or I'd be afraid that I'd get judged and talked about (which is a story for another day).

I don't know what prompted me to share any of this, as you all know I don't tell y'all my business outside of sharing my shadow work journey but it's clear one of you needed it.

So the next time you're wide awake those hours, pray (talk to the Universe), meditate (listen to the Universe), then release (let go and allow things to manifest).

This also isn't an invitation to ask my for spiritual help, I'm not an adviser just a Veiled Bae sharing experiences.

I hope today brings each of you warmth.

🌑

[scare-ard--sleigh]

tagged by @maplefiasco 8 shows to get to know me uhhhh in no particular order!!

tagging (no pressure tho!) ;; @cauldronofmorning @angellspt @spacephrasing @ambrwolf @wesninskijr @rolodextra @zapkilikan and anyone else who wants to do it !

what we do in the shadows: wwdits caters to me so heavily. it captures all of my genders. everyone's hot and fucking each other and they're all so fucking stupid. i've watched it 90 billion times and i still laugh bc the jokes still make me laugh.

midnight mass: we're setting aside my taste in men for a minute here. midnight mass does a really excellent job capturing the more horrifying aspects of growing up as an outsider in a very tight-knit religious community. i've never seen that done in a way that's resonated so much. i talked about this show a lot in therapy. plus okay fine; father skinnyjeans thee vampire [chef's kiss.]

the magicians: idk how to sum up the everything about the magicians in a few sentences. i have an eliot prayer candle lmao, his arc and his friendships and the way he does masculinity are so important to me despite the writing having a few missteps (mind the warnings definitely.) the fandom experience is unlike anything i've ever had, yes derogatorily but also in a really good way--my writing got so good because of the things that i created for this show.

steven universe / sailor moon: i combined them because while they're separately very important to me, it's for a lot of the same reasons and i don't feel right putting one without the other. i'm very saccharine underneath everything, i wanna believe love and friendship can heal anything. i grew up on sailor moon, and i think su would have had the same impact on me if i was the right age.

daredevil: where do i even start :( human disaster matt murdock is just like me fr. foggy nelson is who i wish i was (he also reminds me so much of my husband.) i almost went to law school bc of this fucking show. it's the first time i ever saw two guys crying during an argument bc they love each other that much (nelson v murdock is a treasure of an episode.) i didn't dig s3 as much and i hated the defenders but god the rest of it's so good.

bob's burgers: it's less because i think it's deeply telling and more because it's 100% comfort food. if i'm sick or stoned or sad or trying to find a crowdpleaser, bob's is always my go-to. their family and bob & linda's parenting methods are a lot of what i picture for myself when the time comes.

death note: death note was the thing i was obsessed with as a teenager and while i missed a lot of the point of it, it also is what started making me smarter about media consumption, interpretation, and analysis. mello is also like thee gender of all time.

succession: the latest and greatest "oh jeez that's me." like firstly i love watching shows about terrible rich people but to dig deeper: some of the dynamics hit soooo fucking close. i feel like the portrayal of mental illness and abuse are done almost too well: proceed with caution.

honorable mentions:

buffy the vampire slayer: buffy was the first show i ever got like really, really obsessed with (as well as the first canon i ever tried to make an oc for) but it's almost impossible to recommend for actual viewing bc of how badly it's aged. i didn't rewatch it for the many years, cringed through the last one, and am at permanent hiatus since we've entered the Joyce Is Dying arc which is just like painful to watch on top of the uhhh. joss whedon writing.

archer fx: i don't think archer's necessarily required viewing to get to know me, but i've definitely done some of my best writing for that canon and if you're willing to listen to me talk ad nauseam about archer and cyril's dynamic i'll probably love you forever.

[kiss-your-eclipse]

Hello, this is KittyAnn from AO3. 👋I came here to chat more about Episode 6. For me, episode 6 was such a rollercoaster. In addition to the “will they, won’t they” almost-kiss scenes and sizzling romantic/sexual tension between Akk and Ayan, Eclipsers were also pulled headfirst into the raw emotional pain of Akk and Ayan. We saw the characters at their absolute most vulnerable, especially Akk. When I watched Ayan comforting the near-panicking Akk, I wondered if he was feeling parallels between Akk and his uncle. He couldn’t save his uncle, and so he desperately wanted to save Akk. Anyways, after finishing episode 6, I rewatched episode 4&5 and was surprised at how so these earlier moments hit differently now that I knew what thoughts were running through Akk’s mind in each scene. Please share any interpretations or observations you have about this milestone episode.

omg hi!! sorry i'm so late answering this ask, this week has been insanely busy for me ㅠㅠ

episode 6 was absolutely INSANE in terms of all the new knowledge we now have to reckon with and tbh I'm still processing everything

When I watched Ayan comforting the near-panicking Akk, I wondered if he was feeling parallels between Akk and his uncle. He couldn’t save his uncle, and so he desperately wanted to save Akk.

THIS!!!! YES EXACTLY!!!! this is exactly what i thought when i watched it too!!! the devastation on ayan's face as akk described all of the weight he shoulders each and every day as head prefect, even if it means potentially injuring his classmates.... god, I'll never get over that. i rlly believe ayan was seeing his uncle's silent struggles in akk's confession and realizing just how fucked suppalo is and how it can twist even the best people into shadows of themselves :(

knowing that ayan knew—the entire time—that akk was behind the curse was like a bucket of cold water being thrown on me, i feel like i need to go back and rewatch the whole series now and reexamine all of their interactions omfg

smth about that that's actually rlly funny tho, is the fact that ayan saw akk—the boy he saw nearly send a car careening into the jums—running after him and what does he do??? fucking flashes him and then threatens him w a hand all the way up his gd thigh!! i canNOT w this boy 😭😭

their game of cat and mouse becomes this huge monster that u don't even realize was lurking just around the corner now that we know it wasn't only that ayan and akk just didn't get along, but that ayan could have very well gotten akk in some serious trouble (if not w chadok, who most definitely put him up to it, than w the rest of the school) if he wanted to

also: in terms of other episode 6 scenes, i'd be remiss to not mention the kiss 🥲 i can't tell u how many times I've rewatched it bc it's just absolute perfection. something that rlly interests me about that scene is that there's virtually no sound at all. there's no soundtrack, no ambient noise/room tone... just akk and ayan, and i think that makes the scene all that more tender and intimate bc there's no sound to hinder any of the experience

ty for ur ask! i hope i hear more from u :))

[reveriesofawriter]

hello okay alright so - how about some merrikat + holding the other’s chin up? bc we need more of them in the world <33333

sweet emo boys in love <3 well jack is emo but they're both sweet and they're getting through it

There's a glow through the tent wall.

Jack was supposed to put out the fire when he went to sleep. Frowning, Zack lifts his head and glances over to where Jack's sleeping bag is spread out, and there's his answer. Jack's not asleep yet; he must still be out there. Zack checks the time on his phone, which glares far too brightly in his face: 12:56 a.m.

For a second, he considers going back to sleep. Jack's an adult. He'll go to bed on his own time. He's probably fine. There's no need to worry.

Zack sighs and quietly makes his way to the door of the tent. As if he believes any of that.

The fire crackles a comforting song as Zack steps towards the pit. Lit by the flames, Jack's slouched-over silhouette is a sight to behold. He looks like he might fall asleep right there, chin in hand, staring moodily into the fire's depths as if it contains some kind of answer.

"Hey," Zack half-whispers, crossing his arms over his chest. It's chilly at night. Jack must be cold. Sitting by a campfire can only do so much.

Jack looks up. "Hi. What are you doing up?"

"I came to ask you the same question."

"Eh, couldn't sleep," Jack says, then shrugs. "Or didn't want to, or whatever. I don't know."

"It's almost one. You should try and sleep soon at least."

"I know."

Zack hesitates. "Can I sit with you?"

Jack shrugs again. "If you want. You can go back to sleep, though. I know you like to worry about me but I'm fine."

If Zack "likes" to worry it's only because sometimes he feels like the only one who does. Maybe Jack can fool the rest of the world when he says he's fine, but not Zack.

He sits next to Jack, and on reflection unzips his sweatshirt. "Here. You must be cold."

"Not really."

"Jack, take it."

Jack glances over at Zack and sighs. "You're overbearing, you know that? It's annoying."

"Yeah, you love me," Zack says, smiling a little when Jack takes the sweatshirt and pulls it on. "'Thanks, Zack, I actually was cold. I appreciate you so much.'"

"Yeah yeah," Jack says, shaking his head. He throws a leaf into the fire, and they both watch it crumple up and turn to ash.

"Nice out here," Zack says quietly. The sky above them is a kaleidoscope of stars that somehow keeps taking Zack's breath away. Tall trees with dark shadows surround their campsite. The sounds of nature fill the air, a soundtrack Zack loves, one he often misses going to school in a city. Birds, crickets, wildlife rustling between the trees; it's all music to Zack. He could sink into this symphony for the rest of his life. The city's okay, but it's nothing on this.

Jack hums his noncommittal assent. Another leaf lands in the fire. It burns up like its brother.

Silence descends, as much as it can around them. Zack enjoys the quiet, and he's come to learn that Jack does, too, in the right setting. There's a loud Jack, the one everyone sees, but there's also this Jack. The one who could probably go hours just gazing into a dying fire, lost in thought.

Zack likes Jack in all forms, but he has to admit he's never sure what to do with a quiet Jack. Usually he doesn't have to work to pry Jack's thoughts out of him; usually Jack is the first to volunteer what's on his mind, and he does so with abandon, often theatrically, making it easy for Zack.

This, though. This wordless staring contest with the campfire. Zack has no clue where to start. What to say. There's an option to say nothing — that's the option Zack usually takes — but that won't make anything better. Zack can sense something wrong here, or at least something off. He wants to make it better, but he's worried that trying and failing will only make it worse.

To his surprise, Jack breaks the silence. "Did you like fire as a kid?"

Zack considers this. "What do you mean?"

"When I was a kid, I was obsessed with fire," Jack says. "Not in a psychopath arsonist way, I just thought it was so cool. I'd get a box of matches and just light all of them. Let 'em burn all the way down to my fingertips before I'd blow them out."

"Did you ever actually burn yourself?"

"Yeah, once," Jack says. "And I dropped the match and it landed on my floor, on the rug. I blew it out so quickly. I was so scared that it would catch the rug on fire and then everything would burn down. I only liked it when I could control it, you know?" Jack sighs. "That feels true about everything now."

The wind shifts, blowing the rising smoke into their faces. Zack winces and ducks his head.

"When I first started skateboarding, it was like that," he says. "I'd lose control of the board and panic and jump off. Did that so many times before I had to accept that if I kept jumping off when I felt like I was losing control, I would never learn to regain that control. Like, it's one thing to wobble and give up, and it's another thing to wobble and catch yourself and keep going." He purses his lips. "Just takes practice, though."

"What, to be okay with having no control?"

"I guess. Or to learn to find things you can control in every situation, even if you can't control everything."

Jack hums again. He throws a fistful of dead leaves into the flames. The wind blows the smoke away from them again, and Zack looks up at Jack, whose posture seems to have worsened since Zack joined him. Zack puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Why?" he asks tentatively.

"Just feel like lately there's all this stuff happening and I can never do anything about it," Jack mutters. "Not even all bad stuff, sometimes good, just all things that are out of my control. So I'm not ready for them. And then more things keep happening even though I wasn't done dealing with the earlier things and now it's like…do I just give up? What am I supposed to do? Is it crazy to want to live a simple life of things I can control instead of this crazy life that would be so good if I could just let go a little, because I can't? Do you— do you even know what I mean?"

Zack doesn't need to ask what kinds of things Jack means. Graduation is upon them, and after that, real life; he, Rian, and Alex have started looking for work, but Jack has stubbornly abstained. Too many variables, he says. Too many things to focus on.

"Yeah, I know," he says. "Real world is scary. It just throws you in the deep end."

"It's not just the real world," Jack says, sighs, empty. "Everything is the fucking real world. I want to go to a new city, there are a million and one ways that could go wrong, all beyond my control. I want to, I don’t know, try to learn a new instrument — I don’t know if I’ll be any good, so should I even bother? Because that’s where I’m at right now, is just not bothering. And I know that’s the wrong way to go about it but I don’t like the idea that something out of my control could fuck me over so easily just because I gave it the chance to. If I’m going to get fucked over I’d rather at least be able to blame myself.”

"Have you considered that nothing will go wrong?"

"Something always goes wrong," Jack says bitterly. "Nothing stays good that long, okay. People just think things don't go wrong because other people are resilient. But I'm not resilient. If I miss my train I have a mental breakdown. It's so fucking stupid but like — everything is out of my control so I should stop pretending like I have a grip on any of it but I have this illusion that I do, and I'm not ready for when it breaks."

Zack finds himself nodding, and then catches himself. "I think you're more resilient than you give yourself credit for," he offers. “And you have more control than you know. You think you’re trapped in things, but you’re not. There’s always a way out. You can always quit. Or leave. Do something else. You’re never as railroaded as you think you are.”

“That’s easy to say,” Jack mutters. “Lot harder to do. Like let’s say I get a job after graduation. Two weeks in, I fucking hate the job. I can’t very well quit, right? Because I need an income, and I need stuff on my resume so that other places will eventually hire me, and I need people as references, and I need to seem like a reliable person so that future employers will know they can count on me, and none of that happens if I just quit when it gets hard.”

Zack sighs. He can’t articulate it — Jack won’t appreciate his saying it — but the fact that Jack thinks this way is actually one of the things Zack admires most about him. Zack wants to be content in life. When there are obstacles to that goal, he sidesteps them; when that’s impossible, he doubles back and paves a new path. But Jack’s not like that. When there’s a stumbling block in Jack’s road, he stumbles over it. Trips and gets up, and keeps going. As much as he thinks he’s not resilient, Zack knows that’s not the case. Jack is still here, and despite how clearly afraid he is of the future, he’s resignedly prepared to stumble over it. Jack is focused on the mental breakdown he has from missing the train, but what Zack remembers is Jack composing himself at last, finding a new train, and eventually getting home despite the trouble.

“Yeah,” says Zack, instead of any of that. He’ll save it for a day when Jack isn’t gazing into the fire like he’s wishing he were one of the logs. “You know what a therapist would say?”

Jack sighs heavily. “What would a therapist say,” he intones.

Zack rubs a hand over Jack’s shoulder blades, watching the firelight glow dance over Jack’s face. “A therapist would tell you that the only thing you can control in life is how you react. But how you react is the most important thing. You can let one…” He glances at the fire. “You can let one match burn up your whole house, or you can just blow it out. Accept that that could have been a disaster, and be glad it wasn’t.”

“Well, a therapist would be stupid,” Jack says.

Zack rolls his eyes. “Imagine what the therapist is thinking of you.”

“Hey,” Jack says half-heartedly. He drops another dead leaf into the flames and straightens upright as it burns, tilting his head to see both Zack and the fire at once. “You reeeeally think I should be in therapy, huh.”

“I think everyone should be in therapy,” Zack says plainly. He squeezes the back of Jack’s neck. “But I think you in particular would benefit, yes. A little cognitive restructuring and you’d be fucking unstoppable.”

“I don’t even know what that means,” Jack huffs. “You could just be talking complete shit right now.”

Zack slides his hand along Jack’s collarbone, spreads his fingers so half of them graze Jack’s throat and the other half cradle his chin. Jack doesn’t protest when Zack tilts his chin until their eyes meet. He’s so afraid to surrender control, Zack notices, except to Zack. Right now Jack is completely laid bare, and yet he’s allowing Zack to maneuver him, to see him at his most vulnerable, trusting that Zack will keep this information safe and secret. That’s a lot of faith. Zack doesn’t take it lightly.

“I want you to believe in yourself more,” he says, carefully holding Jack’s gaze. The trust goes both ways. Zack hates eye contact most of the time, but rules don’t apply with Jack. “I want you to know that you’ll bounce back from anything. And I want you to know that you’re not facing the big scary uncontrollable real world alone. You have me. And Rian and Alex. And me. And did I mention myself?”

“Yes,” Jack mumbles.

Zack cracks a smile, lifts a shoulder, and brushes his thumb over Jack’s jawline. A blanket of darkness drifts down over them, dotted with stars. “Just making sure.”

He’s not going to solve Jack’s problems, because they’re not his to solve. This is the kind of thing Jack has to solve himself, and he has to really want to. There will be no epiphany, no eureka! moment.

But Jack smiles a little bit at him and angles his head to kiss the palm of Zack’s hand. He says, “Noted. And I love you, too.” He looks over at the fire, stealing Zack’s hand from off his own face to tangle their fingers together instead. He leans his head onto Zack’s shoulder and says, “I guess we should put it out and go to sleep. Or back to sleep, for you.”

Zack says, “We can sit a little longer.”

And they both fall asleep that way, tilted together, deceptively unshakeable before the flickering flames. When Zack jerks awake shortly later, Jack is already standing, pouring the cooler of water over the fire pit; maybe the sizzling woke him, or maybe the absence of Jack.

“Shouldn’t have fallen asleep without putting it out,” Jack explains in a scratchy voice.

“Yeah, that could’ve been a disaster,” Zack says. “Good thing it wasn’t.”

Jack gives him a look as the last of the water splashes over the charred wood and sputtering embers. “Not everything is a life lesson.”

“A therapist would disagree.”

This time Jack really does smile. He even laughs a little bit.

“I love you,” he says, and crosses over to the log where Zack is still sitting. “Come on. We can sleep in the tent.”

No fire left. Not even the faintest ember remains. Only the smell of smoke lingering on Jack’s borrowed sweatshirt hints at their late-night rendezvous. Zack breathes it in as he falls asleep, curled up together, and he can’t help but smile.

They could have easily been a disaster, the two of them. And every single day Zack is glad they never were.

[bluealmondpie]

hi it's me with the rarepairs

sunahina: do you wanna date

(post time skip content)

* just about kills me with the sweetness

* hinata brightens up every room and suna is blinded.

* the first time msby plays against raijin is the first time suna actually sees hinata in person after high school.

* like; when atsumu talks about hinata and when he sends suna team photos suna always just dismisses it (as he usually does with everything atsumu says) as atsumu's little crush.

* he can't deny that the little orange hair kid is cute, i mean he was cute before already and the tan does look flattering on him, but honestly suna thinks hinata is too much energy and too bouncy

* basically anyone who atsumu likes, in suna's opinion, is much too overwhelming and annoying (okay, hinata isn't the latter, but he's probably really energetic and that is annoying in and of itself, suna reasons)

* back to the story

* suna surprises himself on the day of the game by coming in for practice early. tbh he just wanted to avoid everyone and take a nap in the shower rooms. for some reason, komori was extra excited every time they play msby. even washio seemed peppy.

* he didn't know which shower rooms were assigned to each team yet, so he just entered the nearest one

* and then came face to face with a meditating hinata.

* he blinks twice. huh, suna thinks. didn't think him to be the sort who can stay still.

* suna turns to head to the lockers when he realises that oh. this could be msby's locker rooms and not ejp. he turns to leave but hinata has some sort of sixth sense to open his eyes and look up and spot him just... staring at hinata

* and then this huge smile just breaks across hinata's face and suna is like

* that's bright. he just stares

* hinata cocks his head and speaks. "you are suna... rintarou right? i'm hinata shoyo!" *beams*

* and suna is just. fucked bc wow what an adorable voice this sunshine child cannot be real

* he just. cannot do anything other than stare blankly at hinata.

* "u-uh yeah. how did you know my name?"

* "oh, atsumu san talks about you all the time! he always talks about how you're such a great middle blocker! and you were really good when we played against you at nationals! i was so jealous of your skills as a middle blocker! did you grow taller? ....(hinata rambles)"

* suna just. poker faces and doesn't know what to do for a moment.

* "thanks i guess. is this msby's locker room"

* "oh i don't know whose it is, i just came in the nearest one! maybe we can wait outside! do you wanna warm up together?" cue another blinding, beaming smile.

* suna curses. no wonder atsumu is smitten. no wonder komori and washio can't wait to play against msby. who could say no to this face? who could turn away from this smile? no wonder someone like sakusa can put up with the likes of bokuto and atsumu, if it meant seeing this view every day.

* no wonder osamu smiles like he knows a secret, and travels across the country for an msby game. this, suna muses, is one part comedy gold, one part top tier blackmail material. half the vleague, enraptured at the sight of one(1) small player who shines brighter than anyone else just by breathing.

* and suna curses again, because he knows, and he knows without a shadow of doubt, that in every way, he is just as captivated as the rest of them when hinata says, in that lovely, angelic voice, "suna-san, are you alright? you went really quiet for a bit... do you not want to practice?"

* and suna snaps out of it immediately because there is no forgivable reason to make that voice sound that concerned, and also hell will freeze over before he gives up the chance to practice with hinata.

* before he can reply, sakusa opens the door.

* "ah hi sakusa-san! here for your pre-game routine? do you need help?"

* "... this is msby's locker room." ah. one sentence and suna knows he is unwelcome.

* "sorry. i didn't know. i'll take my leave."

* suna turns away, but before he has a chance to take a step, hinata calls out to him.

* "suna-san! let's catch up later during warmups!"

* suna freezes. he doesn't need to turn around to feel the brightness of the smile behind him. "ah yeah... sure." he hopes he sounds warmer than his body language shows, because if he were to look at hinata he cannot be sure that he can remain coherent.

* (he also doesn't need to turn around to feel the weight of the scowl sakusa has on him.)

* after the teams come in, msby manages to keep hinata so occupied that suna doesn't get a chance to speak with him until the end of the game.

* it's not like he could speak if those smiles were trained on him from the start tho. suna is relieved, and also a little jealous. he's not the only one, komori and washio also seem to be glancing that way a lot.

* after the game hinata gets swept up in a lot of fanfare ("the darling of the vleague! hinata shouyou!~" fans line up for signatures, photos, fellow players try to catch a few words with him about the game.) suna has no chance. he refuses to wade into the throng.

* instead he takes his time to wash up, pack, and generally just loiter. he feels something (annoyance?) when washio and komori chat with hinata outside the locker rooms. he pretends to have forgot something and goes back inside to stare at the walls. maybe send osamu a meme and some blackmail material to get back at atsumu for winning.

* he's about to give up waiting when he suddenly hears a voice calling in the empty corridor outside the players' locker rooms - and who can mistake that voice?

* he tries not to look eager as he turns around.

* "did you wait for me, suna-san? that's so nice of you! i finally got away from everyone, they didn't let me have any spare time to talk to you during warmups so i wanted to catch you after the game!"

* "i uh. yeah. you're very popular." suna smacks himself internally. way to go, so much for being the witty one in the team -

* "i - um - if you don't mind, do you want to wait a little more for me to wash up? we can get a meal after, i'm famished! ... is that... okay?"

* long, fluttering eyelashes. the perfect amount of hesitance. a criminally cute tone. here lies suna, deceased by three sentences and a shy face. the answer spills out before suna can process what hinata was asking for. "yeah sure. take your time."

* he hangs around in the corridor, scrolling through his phone aimlessly and fidgeting with the edge of his shirt. he looks at his shirt - clean, training gear, he'd packed whatever he could reach earlier today in a haze of sleepiness. he hopes he doesn't look too shabby.

* glancing through his instagram feed, which is suddenly filled with an unfair amount of hinata's bright smile painted over sweaty, flushed skin he realises its a lost cause to try and look, well not shabby beside hinata because... everyone sees hinata first. and who can compare

* suna is just scrolling and so amazed that everyone actually left him alone with hinata (he doesn't need to know that hinata asked them all to go home, although suna does come to that conclusion later on after everything and he is like... how did hinata know. did hinata also want to see me? omg did he notice i like him does he like me cue the overthinking spiral)

* anyway they have a nice meal at a small izakaya near the stadium

* suna is repeatedly just wowed by how much energy hinata has that he can talk and smile so much after a gruelling game and he's surprised at himself for actually being interested in whatever the sun has to say. it helps that a lot of it is gossip on atsumu. the inarizaki chat is going to be spammed later, and suna is looking forward to that too.

* he asks for hinata's number when hinata shows him an embarrassing video of drunk atsumu after a game. good, suna thinks. it sounded natural, send me the video, yes and also i get your number heh (he doesn't notice the soft flush at the tips of hinata's ears.)

* anyway after a couple weeks of texting each other somehow atsumu figures it out and suna is pissed bc he doesn't need a wingman. not one like atsumu anyway, who is too much of a coward to even confess and pretends he doesn't want a chance

* but at this point everyone can see hinata likes suna. so atsumu just goes straight to hinata and says, "when are u gonna date suna"

* and hinata is like RED "wha-what do you mean date him i just think he is very kind and nice to me and i like to hang out with him-" and bokuto is like, "do u think he is hot" and hinata is more than a tomato at this point and sakusa is disgusted at the gleeful expressions on bokkun and tsumu's faces. "just ask him out. he likes you too, obviously." sakusa, back at it with the straight talk. (he gave up on hinata a long time ago, after all, it's hinata's decision and who is he to decide or change hinata's mind)

* and so hinata is like, agonising over it

* and the next time he meets up with suna he is shy af. and suna is like tf did atsumu do did ratsumu say something mean to u

* "he didn't do anything! he just. um. hejustsaidweshoulddateandbokutosansaidulikedmeandsakusasansaidishouldaskyououtbutidontknowhowufeelaboutitsoidontknow-"

* hinata. breathe

* anyway suna cuts him off and is all like. "1. yes i like u. 2. yes i wanna go out with you 3. do u wanna go out with me"

* (inside he is like woah. woohoo. nice.)

* and hinata is like Y E S

* and there u go story of sunahina getting tgt

*******

when i was typing this my phone kept autocorrecting sunahina to sunshine and honestly? it is not wrong

this was actually meant to b like, what does sunahina relationship look like, but... i don't write the fics/hcs k i just start them and they write themselves

i'll write those out another time i guess

masterlist here (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[thank-you-pete-archive]

Hey, regarding my Spider-sona/spider-oc commission post, this is kinda what the drawing would look like, if you'd want one. It doesn't cost anything, and all u gotta do is dm me or send in an ask w/ the description! Also, this is my dude, not someone else's. (Click for better res. Thanks Tumblr for killing quality. Who is she? It don't know her.)

Now, lets do this one lest time. Final round:

This is Peter Philip Parker. Shut up, he knows it's all P's. In his world, he's in the year 2938 and he lives in New Fuji. He was bit by a radioactive spider 3 years ago, and has since been the one and only Spider-Man(also known as Green-Dragon Spider. This comes into play with his powers).

There was a project that was testing radioactivity on living organisms. Peter, 11 at the time, was job shadowing a scientist who was working on this, and for some reason, decided to take him in the room because he was a quiet kid who didn't get in the way. Peter was just studying what they did and how they tested, and then they brought out a spider. It had already been radiated when it was dropped and the spider was free from the cage. It bit Peter as the last thing it ever did before dying. The radiation was too much for the spider to handel, and it died.

No one saw the spider bite Peter, and he pretended like it never happened. He pretended to find it dead, and the scientists quickly got him out of there. After that, you know the rest, he gets his powers and stuff. Has to figure it out on his own. Peter actually thought he was gonna die, but he's all good.

He starts to get the hang of his powers, which are different from the others, but he does have spidey sense and supper strength. His powers come from his spit, because it's acidic. He spits in a tube every hour because if he doesn't the acid will eat away at his mouth and insides(he learned the hard way). He uses his spit to fill up these acid pockets in his suit. That mask on his suit catches acid that he spits out and puts it in the suit as well. When there's enough acid in the pockets he can trigger them to pop and burn whoever he's fighting. Whatever acid doesn't leave the surface of thesuit gets absorbed back in to be used later. His extra eyes on the suit are cameras that he uses to enhance peripheral vision while fighting. He has web wings like the one's in homecoming, where he can deploy them at will but also make them go away. He can also have acid soaked webs as well as normal webs.

Green dragon is a drug term(i think?? I saw it on synonyms for acid like the drug so) and his wings kinda make him look like a dragon. He also has the fang like shape for his mouth opening that looks like dragon fangs?? Ya, but he made the suit by himself and his current one seen in the pic is his 24th version that he plans on sticking with.

He's a big nerd, but sucks at school. He hates most of the things that they teach at his school and all the science stuff is too easy for him. The only class he has an A in is art bc he loves art. Oh, he's a Freshmen in Highschool btw(for people outside the US that means he's 14-15 years old, if ur not held back). He isn't failing any of his classes, he just doesn't do well on purpose and gets C's in his classes. He plays oboe in the school band as well. He kinda likes that class, but he isn't very passionate about it.

and, yes i have to add spideypool bc i love them sm, he's in love with this kid, oh, you might know him. His name is Wade. Wade is the goalie for their school soccer team. They have math together, and science, and literacy, and history. They're in the second to lowest classes for all of those categories. That's another reason Peter's grades suck, because he want's to be in the same class as Wade. Anyways, they're also p good friends and Wade just thinks that Pete is doing this bc they're friends. Wade IS Deadpool as well, but his suit is made of metal thats woven to look like a cloth material instead of leather. He's also more high-tech. Spidey made his suit bc tbh Wade's too stupid to do any of that.

Peter's middle name, Philip, was his grandpa's name, who died of natural causes before Peter was born. Peter's parents were killed in a car crash when he was a baby, and was given to his Grandma and Aunt to be raised. His Aunt lives with his grandma to keep her company and to take care of her.

Oof that was long, sorry. Anyways, commission me if you want!!