#Also yes I'll be using a base I made myself for these since I'm not in the mood to draw different poses for these guys

[kozachenko]

Here's a digital sketch dump of some pose/anatomy practices and some 2hu doodles, I think from now on if I don't have any big final piece to post, I'll just post sketches I liked that I did digitally (might also reblog some drawings of mine that I want more people to see, maybe idk).

Artist's Notes:

Ok so after the recent Hifuu fanart I did, I've been hoping to experiment more with how I draw faces, how I render, as well as how I stylize things. In some of the earlier sketches I did, I had an idea for a pose that I wanted to try drawing, so I took a ref pic of myself doing said pose (the leaning one btw) and then did a sketch over top of it just to get an idea for the shapes, negative space, and silhouette. After that, I wanted to do some simpler breakdowns of the shapes so I can get better at simplifying the body (these ended up being the bottom right sketches in the post). I also did some experimenting with how to push certain parts of said sketches to create a different body type (via liquify and then a more refined version based on that sketch), as well as figuring out what makes a pose feel natural and not stiff. This was also a bit of a foreshortening practice just so I can get more confident with it, and I ended up using the arms from the liquified version for the coloured Zanmu sketch I did since I liked them so much (dw I'll get to that).

The next thing I wanted to try and draw was Hisami, mainly because.... I am very bad at drawing her in my style. Last time I drew her I made her look really creepy and spindly, and it is my headcanon now that she can switch between a more human, and more creepy look whenever she wants. I'm liking where the face is going a lot, might have to refine a few things about it in the future, but it's cute (I also made the blush purple which I think is what I'm gonna do with her face from now on). I also like how her hair in the sketch turned out a lot, but the outfit..... not as much... Ever since I started changing my style to something less cartoony, I've had a hard time drawing her outfit in my style. Especially the flower veil thing she has on, which, I did try to find a way to draw, but I ended up deleting that sketch because I didn't like it. I'm also not a fan of using the colour purple, like, pure purple, magentas are fine, indigos are fine, but not strict purple. I also have a hard time with drawing all the little pattern details on her dress. I also need to find a way to draw the flower veil in a way that looks good because everytime I try it ends up just looking off (very similar to whenever I try to draw Zanmu's blue spears). I think the only solution to this problem is to do what I normally do and make my own version of the outfit, but with adjustments to suit my style while still trying to keep core elements from the original design intact (like I do with Zanmu and Keiki, and yes I am going to get to that Zanmu drawing just gimme a minute).

Ok next up is Keiki, my favourite Touhou character who I haven't drawn since the beginning of the year. Since my style has changed a lot, I wanted to just do a face sketch of her to get a hang of drawing her again, and I..... really really like how it turned out! When I drew her eyes, I realized that a good way of keeping faces too same facey can be via varying the sizes of their pupils, so that's an idea I'm gonna keep in mind from now on. I had a lot of fun with her hair, I initially was gonna do it like how it is in the official art, but I ended up not liking it, so now I'm gonna draw Keiki with wavy heir like this because it's fun and it looks nice. I also included my base sketch for Keiki's face since I was initially struggling with drawing her bandanna, and in the coloured sketch I added some more detail into her hair.

Now to finally talk about the sketches for Zanmu. Good lord was I having a tough time with her face. I also did this sketch before I figured out how I wanted to draw hair, so that's why the rendering on her hair is different (I did this soon after the Hisami sketch actually). Since I changed my art style a lot, I had to find a way to translate her face from my more cartoony style to my more detailed style, so while the face shape, nose shape and mouth was fine, I was really struggling with the eyes. I did get somewhere eventually though, and I am super happy with how it turned out. I wanted to lean more towards the androgynous side of the gender presentation spectrum, mainly because I think that makes sense for her character. Also made sure to include the silver hairs and some wrinkles just to bring some signs of her aging into her face because those are just staple features of how I draw Zanmu at this point lol. You will also notice that I gave her some scars on the right side of her face, and that's because I am a Zanmu-with-scars truther, I fucking love it whenever I see someone give Zanmu visible scars like that it just adds so much omg (I also tried to put a wolf bite mark on her arm in the full body drawing but idk if it reads well). While you can argue that her not having scars sells the idea of her being this "powerful, untouchable mastermind who is impossible to defeat," I'd say that instead of those scars representing times she got injured, they represent everyone who has failed to defeat her.

As I was drawing Zanmu's face, I referenced my sketch of to help with contrasting their features since I made Keiki's face more traditionally feminine. I also didn't mention this in my commentary on Keiki's face because I wanted to save it for here, but giving Zanmu scars also plays into the fact that she used to be human, wheras Keiki doesn't have any scars because she's a god who doesn't follow the rules of normal human biology. Plus I'm thinking about the two of them interacting again (return of Zan/Keik??? (I'm a multishipper btw) maybe???) so drawing their faces together will definitely help me in the future if I wanna draw them together (again, maybe as a ship? I've kinda been ironing out the kinks in their potential interactions (romantic and non-romantic) for a while now so idk maybe expect that in the future lol).

And now for the full body drawing, when I was doing the face sketch I did this little snippet of an outfit, had a vision, and the made it into a reality. I'll admit, part of me was worried that it would end up looking too much like Yuugi's outfits in the spinoffs and mangas, but I feel like I made enough changes to differentiate them. I tried to keep a few of the major details in Zanmu's design (i.e. the red tassles and yellow lining on her shirt) while putting a new spin on it. I also dialed up the scars to 11 since without them the whole thing kinda looked incomplete. Also, while I could say that the leaves on her kimono are "a nod to the fact that technically she should be a tengu because back then people belived that corrupt monks would turn into tengu but no Zanmu is an oni and they're maple leaves because...tengu...ahahahaha" what really ended up happening was that I looked up clothing patterns from Sengoku era Japan, liked the leaves the most because the red picked up on the red from the rest of her design and just ran with it. I also always had the idea to put Zanmu in men's clothing from Sengoku era Japan and while the accurate thing to do would be to put her in a Buddhist's clothes from that era.... from a character standpoint, I don't think Zanmu is pious enough to strictly wear the proper monk uniform, and also since she's basically the king of Hell, she would probably dress herself like royalty from that era. TBH, I probably could've been a bit more historically accurate, but again, this was mainly for conceptual purposes because I had a vision and I needed to see it through.

If I were to draw her in this sort of outfit again, I should probably try and use more references, although now that I look at it, if she were to wear it properly this would maybe, probably look a bit closer to a Kyūtai sugata (a very huge stretch, but it just kinda reminds me of that) just without the layers under and over the main piece of clothing (In the website that I searched up to try and compare the outfit in my sketch to, they name the outfit pieces but don't label them on the image, so I don't know 100% what everything is called) so I will definitely have to use that style of clothing as a reference going forward.

Also, I was kind of inspired by the ToTK design for Ganondorf since I have finished the game a while ago and I absolutely love what they did with his design (it's just so fucking cool omg) and I thought that sort of look would look good on Zanmu, so yeah got some inspo from that.

And those were all the notes for each of the sketches, I'm motivated to draw rn but kinda art blocked, so doing these little coloured sketches helps a lot.

[mrs-gauche]

Let's talk about the Red Lyrium Idol

(…Because it's not like this thing has been discussed to death over the past ten years, right? 😂 *drops my two cents in the Scrooge McDuck money bin*)

Ah yes… The red lyrium idol. The one thing that's given me a headache since 2018, as I'm still trying to figure out how this damn thing could possibly fit into my bazillion tinfoil theories.

Whether it's the first official DA4 teaser in 2018, the Blue Wraith comic series or the entirety of the last chapter of Tevinter Nights, a lot of the supplementary media and promotional stuff setting up the course for DA4 seems to be centered around the idol. Quite literally, in some cases, like this mural from the first 2018 teaser:

It certainly led us to think that the idol won't just be another McGuffin (or so I hope lol), but other than that, it's still heavely shrouded in mystery…

Which is why I will now make an attempt to unravel this and gather every single bit of information we have on it (so far) and maybe that'll get us closer to some sort of answer in the end (actually, it won't, because this got SO long that I had to split this post in two parts lol No one's going to read all of this anyway 💀)!

Look, I just needed to get this behemoth of a post out before we might get an actual substantial trailer tomorrow and none of this will probably matter anymore. 😂💀

(Note: This whole thing was initially intended to be solely for myself to keep track of any information we've gotten about the idol since DA2. But since it's gotten SO long over the years, I figured why not just rewrite it into a somewhat coherent text and post it on here? :D ......Seriously, it's really, REALLY effing long.)

The Idol's Journey so far

To me, the idol always seemed to be something like "The One Ring" in LOTR. A forged ancient artifact with creepy unknown powers that is said to feel "alive", almost as if it possesses a will of its own, seeing as it has somehow found its way from countless random people, back to (presumably) its former owner. It also appears to be somewhat cursed, given that almost everyone who held it at one point seems to have died or gone mad by now (Yeah, I'm very worried about Varric and Hawke 👀).

Let us start with a quick summary of the journey the idol has made in the span of about 12-13 years (not counting the unknown timespan in which the last chapter of Tevinter Nights takes place):

First discovered by Hawke and Varric in an ancient Thaig in the Deep Roads.

Stolen by Bartrand, who then made a quick trip to Rivain.

Sold to Meredith, who turned it into a sword.

Taken out of Meredith's petrified corpse by Carta dwarves.

Sold again to a Tevinter mage, who brought it to House Qintara in Ventus.

Handed to a secret agent of Fen'Harel named Gaius (who was impersonating Magister Qintara).

Traded away to Tractus Danarius.

Handed to Magister Nenealeus at Castellum Tenebris to be used as part of a ritual.

Picked up by Cedric Marquette after the fortress fell, while trying to escape.

Handed back to Tractus Danarius, who then probably (not confirmed) went to Nevarra to perform another blood magic ritual.

Picked up by a Mortalitasi who (maybe) took it to Tevinter.

(Supposedly!) ended up in a vault under an auction house in Llomerryn in Rivain, where it was (supposedly!) retrieved by Solas.

That's quite the journey… that you wouldn't even know half about if you didn't read the comics or Tevinter Nights. But whereas the book and comics were all published after the first teaser trailer in 2018, after which the idol became the center of the fandom's attention and speculation, it should be noted that a connection to the idol was in fact already made way back in 2014, when people noticed that the image of Solas holding Flemeth's lifeless body at the end of Inquisition was very reminiscent of something else.

...Which brings us to the point of what the idol is even depicting to begin with.

Description

Before I'll start to give my own description based on the models in-game, the teaser and concept art, I'd like to quote the people who've actually seen it in person.

In the last chapter of Tevinter Nights, we are being told three tales by three different people, who all describe the same idol differently.

The Carta Assassin: "A couple hugging, too thin to be dwarves - but it's sitting there, glowing softly like a ruby lit by the grace of the Maker himself. […] It's heavier than you'd think - lyrium's heavier than you'd think, too, but this was heavy even for that. When I hefted it in my hand, it was like it wanted to keep moving, like it was liquid inside."

The Mortalitasi: "An idol crafted from red lyrium, which seemed to show two lovers, or a god mourning her sacrifice. It whispered in our minds when we saw it […]."

The Orlesian Bard/Solas: "He whispered something as he picked it up, tracing his gloved fingers gently along the crowned figure who comforted the other."

The one thing that all of these seem to have in common though is two figures who embrace each other in some way.

Which is interesting, because in all the depictions of the idol we've seen so far, it clearly shows three people instead of two. Granted, the third figure is a bit cramped up in the back of the crowned figure, but what's strange is that not even Solas himself mentions this third figure.

Most notable though is the crowned female looking figure in the center, which is holding onto the two other figures on each side of the ring shaped object (or it's the two figures holding onto the female?). The figures themselves look rather goulish, deadly or skeletal, with their bone structure clearly visible and all their expressions captured in a mix of horror or torment. The small carved-in lines coming from the middle figure's eye sockets also resemble black tears, much like we've seen on "The Mother" in Awakening.

There's also no sign of clothing, which is all the more apparent on the concept art of the idol, in which the breast of the middle figure is.. much more prominent. lol (We don't make fun of saggy boobs in this house, it's just nature and gravity after all, but for the sake of observation, I will note that they do remind me of Broodmother boobs, too 😂), aside from a hint of what could be a veil on the middle figure's head.

At the bottom of the idol, the lower bodies of the figures seem to fully submerge within its name-giving red lyrium and this "claw" type thing, which is coming off in the shape of crystalline red lyrium spikes at the tail end, though in the concept art and the DA2 model, these spikes were clearly more like red lyrium roots. But either way, the bottom makes it kinda look like it's been broken/ripped off?

We can also see tentacle like features, that remind me of the figures we've seen in the mural in the 2020 teaser and the depiction in the 25th anniversary book that revealed to us what the Archdemons were initially supposed to look like. 👀

I'd also like to point out that in the original concept art of the idol, the ears of the crowned figure look much more pointy to me than in later versions. 👀

There's also this "ring", that I've seen many people connect to how the Veil is often portrayed in Solas' murals.

But if this ring is supposed to depict the Veil, then what could it mean for the crowned figure reaching across to hold that ominous third figure on the "other side"?

And yes, I recognize that this ominous third figure also seems to be missing a left arm, just like another certain main character. 👀

The one thing that stands out the most though, is probably the crown itself. Most people might first associate it with Andraste, when the same shape can be traced as far back as ancient statues of Mythal.

Yeah, there's definitely a pattern here. 😂

That being said…

Connection to Mythal & Solas

Okay, we all know about the theory that Andraste might have been Mythal's previous host, right? We all know about the parallels between Mythal's story, Andraste, Flemeth, etc. And after comparing the idol to Flemeth and Meredith in their moment of death, considering all of the above/following and how old this thing potentially is, I will now make a wild guess here and argue that the idol is in fact depicting Mythal's death.

"He whispered something as he picked it up, tracing his gloved fingers gently along the crowned figure who comforted the other. But I could not make out the words, for I fear they were elven."

Not only does Solas seem to hold sentimental value for whoever the crowned figure is supposed to be, while also talking to it in elven, but the way he describes to "caress" the idol in Tevinter Nights does also seem to mirror how Flemythal was comforting him at the end of DAI.

However, I always thought it was a bit odd how Solas describes the idol as "a figure comforting another", when… tbh, "comforting" would probably be last thing that comes to my mind when I look at this...

"Agony" would be more fitting here, maybe? lol Kinda begs the question of how Mythal was murdered, too, with this being her expression in her moment of death? 👀

Without getting too much into it here, if there's one thing we can take from everything we've learned so far about their past, Solas' relationship with Mythal must've been a rather complicated one, to say the least.

"He did not want a body, but she asked him to come. He left a scar when he burned her off his face."

Solas calls Mythal "the best of the elven gods", calling her "the mother, protective and fierce", and Solas is even described in the designer's notes as "Mythal's oldest friend" who is all about free will, yet if the spirit origin theory is true and Cole's cryptic comments in Trespasser are in fact about them, it was Mythal who gave Solas a body against his will, potentially bound/enslaved him with her vallaslin, and maybe even forced him to act against his original purpose?

"You should have seen me when I was younger. Hot-blooded and cocky, always ready to fight."

Cole: "You didn't do it to be right. You did it to save them." Inquisitor: "Solas, what is Cole talking about?" Solas: "A mistake. One of many made by a much younger elf who was certain he knew everything."

How much of what happened was Solas acting out Mythal's will, or rather, acting out of vengeance and pain in reaction to Mythal's death? How much of it was him acting downright impulsive?

Solas: “Cole is a spirit. The death of the real Cole wounded him, perverted him from his purpose. To regain that part of himself, he must forgive.” Varric: “You don’t just forgive someone killing you.” Solas: “You don’t. A spirit can.”

Or was it Mythal's death itself that "wounded him and perverted him from his purpose", just like he described what happened to Cole?

And what does that say about Mythal then, when she clearly hasn't forgiven her murderers and still strives for vengeance after all this time? What if Solas' own perception of Mythal and all the circumstances surrounding her murder is warped because he was once bound to her? 👀

Anyway. To get back to topic.

So if we assume that the idol is in fact depicting Mythal's death, then that brings us to the next question of why the idol is even made of red lyrium? Or rather, what is Mythal's connection to red lyrium?

We know that red lyrium is tainted blood of a Titan. Mythal was the first to kill a Titan and mine their blood for things we won't get into in this post. So, how did the idol end up in the Deep Roads, anyway? How long had it been there? One thing that's kinda strange to me, is how the DA wiki page about the idol says that it was forged by the dwarves, solely based on the fact that it was initially found in the Deep Roads, when we have no actual evidence for that. We've seen statues of both Mythal and the Dread Wolf in the Deep Road section in Trespasser where the mining of lyrium was undergone, but we don't know if the dwarves even had any part in building them as well.

Would the dwarves forge an idol of the elven deity who conquered them and killed their Titan, if they were somehow forced to do so? We also have to remember that dwarves were and still are the only ones able to actually mine raw lyrium safely, but even the Carta dwarves in Tevinter Nights had to take several precautions in order to recover the red lyrium idol from Meredith's corpse. And even then, many of them still fell shaking or went mad in its presence like Bartrand.

So if it only takes that little exposure to have that much of an effect on someone's sanity, how were the ancient dwarves or anyone even able to create it in the first place? What if the idol was initially made of blue lyrium but was then somehow corrupted?

And if we take one moment to really think about what an idol actually is.

"An object representing extreme devotion and religious worship to a god."

While Solas doesn't think of any of the Evanuris as actual gods, he still seems to hold Mythal at such a high regard that he wouldn't even speak of her at a sacred place like the Temple of Mythal (whether or not that was because he just wanted to withhold any secret ancient knowledge). He's able to fully recite the invocation to Mythal if you bring him with you to her altar. He also looks exactly like the sentinels in Mythal's temple.

I could go on, but generally speaking, there are so many little hints pointing to Solas being a former slave/servant of Mythal that, again, we won't get into here, but it's important to mention when trying to figure out why the idol (presumably) even belongs to Solas.

"The idol's journey is now complete, and it has found its master."

In Tevinter Nights, the Dread Wolf claims that the red lyrium idol belongs to him. He also made sure to punish those who tried to misuse it, going so far as to march in with an entire army of spirits and snapping a guy's neck with his jaw. (Yup, you're better off not to touch the Dread Wolf's stuff for dirty blood rituals, kids.)

"You use my idol carelessly, and in doing so, you threaten all creation."

Additionally, in the last chapter of Tevinter Nights, Charter and other spies conclude that Solas must need the idol for whatever ritual he's planning, while Solas in Bard disguise claims that he's already in possession of the idol now and therefore, I quote, "cannot be stopped". (Though I personally still don't actually buy a single thing about his vivid tale at that auction house, but we'll get back to this later. lol)

And if the idol belongs to Solas, was he the one who created it, or did he order the dwarves or someone else to make it for him? But why would he intentionally make an idol out of red lyrium, anyway? He is fully aware of the dangers and corruption that comes with being exposed to red lyrium and its use. Especially considering that red lyrium is blighted and how he repeatedly expresses great concern over the Blights and gets furious over the Grey Wardens' attempts to preempt them by killing the Archdemons (because he obviously knows more than us).

So, does he know a way to use it without getting corrupted like everyone else? The Seekers of Truth are so far the only ones we've seen to be immune to red lyrium thanks to having their minds touched by a spirit of Faith during their vigil. Could Solas' connection to spirits/his hypothetical spirit origin allow him to use the idol without it effecting him?

But if any of this is true, then l'm again asking myself what even was the purpose of the idol to begin with? Why or when was it created? How does it differ from any other red lyrium, and what could Solas have used it for in the ancient past?

Powers & Effects

So, let's talk about what this thing can actually do (as far as we know).

(Btw, this is the part where I will shamelessly copy a lot straight from the DA wiki, because truth be told, I'm just a German struggling with limited vocabulary and I figured there's simply no way to summarize this any better than the wiki already has. 💀)

Just like any other red lyrium, we know that being exposed to the idol for too long will make you mad/paranoid/possessive/violent, while also grant you special powers, until overuse causes your body to be completely overtaken by red lyrium. It seems to thin the Veil wherever it is currently kept, allowing spirits or demons to interact with the physical world.

It also emanates a song that is slowly turning people who hear it insane.

The Song

"It sings… sick music." "It eats you inside until you're nothing." "It creeps into your thoughts, humming." "They hear a different song. The song behind the door old whispers want opened. They are dead and dark and done." "Songs screaming far away. It wants to wake up but can't remember how."

(- Cole's comments about red lyrium/red templars)

After Bartrand took the idol and left Varric and Hawke to die in the primeval Thaig, he started hearing voices, claiming the idol was "singing" to him. Even after selling it, Bartrand could still hear the idol and was eventually driven mad by its red lyrium.

Three years later, it is discovered that Bartrand had chipped a piece of the idol off and left it in his estate, which causes the house to behave like it was haunted and the Veil was torn.

Then during the "Haunted" quest, Varric himself remarks several times to hear music while walking through the estate, much like the Carta assassin in Tevinter Nights recalled to have heard "music in the wind, like some old song I heard as a kid but can't quite remember" when obtaining the idol from Meredith's corpse.

Important to mention here is that Varric seems to also be the only one in the party able to hear this song.

Varric: "Hey… is that music? Where is that coming from?" Hawke: "In don't hear anything." Varric: "Where is that singing coming from? You hear it, right, Hawke?" Varric: "Where is that voice coming from?" Hawke: "What voice?" Varric: "I can barely hear it… I wish I could make out the words."

Varric also told us that, after Bartrand went mad, he tortured his non-dwarven servants by cutting pieces off them to help them "hear the song".

(And remember, the idol was found in an ancient primeval Thaig in the Deep Roads, sitting on something like an altar, indicating that it was being worshiped by the ancient dwarves as well. Presumably because they too were being influenced by the idol's/red lyrium's song?)

Haunted

During the "Haunted" quest, we learn that the mere presence of a shard of the idol in the estate causes:

"Voices whispering in the walls"

Random objects moving on their own

Apparitions/screaming spirits appear running across the floors

When Varric picks up the piece of the idol, he starts to exhibit the same symptoms of madness Bartrand showed, at which point Hawke can either let Varric keep the piece, or can take it from him with the intent of having Sandal destroy it.

If Hawke asks Anders to diagnose Bartrand in Act 2, he suspects a demon at work, however Bartrand is a dwarf. Instead, he determines that "his mind has been poisoned by something powerful".

In Tevinter Nights, the Carta assassin recalls that, in the attempt to retrieve the idol from Meredith's corpse, most of his colleagues fell shaking and whispering the closer they got to it.

Meredith

After Bartrand sold the idol to Meredith, she reshapes it into her sword Certainty, which does eventually drive her insane as well. It also gives her unnatural powers, such as the ability to animate the statues in the Gallows, and even limited flight capabilities.

(My question is though, were the things happening in that final fight directly caused by the idol or was this just the result of the Veil being already weakened that much by the many terrible things that happened at that place/Kirkwall in general?)

Anyhow, during the final battle at the Gallows, Meredith overuses the lyrium sword, causing it to burst into dust and petrify her into a statue.

Though as we all know now, some part of Meredith seems to have survived somehow, as her… mind(?) or something was shown to now still "live" within the red lyrium somewhere in Kirkwall at the end of Absolution. She (or "it") also seems to have somewhat control over the red templars now, too.

So, how is this possible? What exactly is she now, if it even is herself and not just a manifestation/echo of her memories or something? Could it have something to do with the idol? No one really knows (and we might never find out, if Netflix won't give us a second season, anyway lol), but I do think it's curious how the idol is likely depicting Mythal's death, who didn't actually die either and lived on through the ages as a type of lingering "wisp" clinging to various hosts. 👀

I also want to point out how Solas did suspiciously include Meredith's petrified corpse in his mural in the 2020 teaser as well, placing her right under that ominous upside down figure with the tentacles.

Furthermore, just like Meredith, the idol also seems to be somewhat indestructable. lol After Meredith's sword burst into dust, it regrew inside her petrified corpse (which Solas was apparently also aware of). What's interesting is that it regenerated in Meredith's chest of all places. You know, like, where the heart is supposed to be? 👀

Then there's also this curious line from Anders, when talking about Varric acting strange after obtaining a shard of the idol:

"This thing's magic seems only more potent when broken."

I've mentioned it before, but with the spikes (or roots in DA2) at the bottom part of the idol making it look like it was ripped or broken off of something, you have to wonder if its current state is somewhat broken, even after regenerating.

"Hot-Blooded"

During the Haunted quest, Fenris will remark this:

"Whatever is here is angry."

In DAI, Cole repeatedly comments on how red lyrium feels "very angry" and how it is "less angry when it's cold". We know for a fact that red lyrium emanates a noticeable heat. A corrupted Bartrand is especially weak to cold/ice magic.

While anger is generally associated with heat, I find this aspect particularly interesting, given that red lyrium is tainted blood of a Titan.

And building on that, while still searching for further connections between red lyrium, the idol and Mythal… Remember how the ancient sarcophagus in the Blue Wraith and Dark Fortress comic was used in a ritual, in which lyrium combined with fire of a Great dragon carved lyrium infused markings into Fenris' and Shirallas' skin, granting them special powers.

Not only was this ancient sarcophagus specifically built only for elves, and its design resembling that of Mythal's statues…

…but here we have a case in which lyrium is purposefully "set on fire" by a Great dragon to create "elven super soldiers". Mythal is always depicted as a dragon. And she mined lyrium in humongous amounts.

Again, red lyrium emanates heat. If this was common practice in ancient times, then I feel like it's not surprising that a Titan would eventually be pretty damn angry in reaction to its blood being continuously burned for centuries [insert boiling blood joke here].

So, aside from the red lyrium being blighted, could there be a connection in Mythal burning the Titans' blood? As far as we know, it did take a couple of aeons in which Mythal (presumably) continued to mine (and burn?) the Titans' blood, before the ancient elves sealed the Deep Roads for good, because they discovered something… bad. As Solas himself declares in the vision described at the mural depicting a Titan's death:

"Let this place be forgotten. Let no one wake its anger." "The vision grows dark. An aeon seems to pass. Then the runes crackle, as if filled with an angry energy. A new vision appears: elves collapsing caverns, sealing the Deep Roads with stone and magic." "Terror, heart-pounding, ice-cold, as the last of the spells is cast."

And there it is again. That anger we're talking about. What's so interesting to me, is how this does sort of come full circle with Mythal and the idol after all, since the motivation behind Mythal's actions, even after thousands of years, remains her unwavering desire for vengeance upon the people who betrayed and murdered her, which, in a way, does mirror the same anger/heat that the Titan is emanating from its tainted blood.

And speaking of blood……

A Ritual Blade

In Tevinter Nights, we learned that the idol is able to produce a blade, which is then used as part of a blood magic ritual.

"The Tevinter mage was killing his slaves. […] He had cut the throat of one of them, and then another, catching the blood of his victims on the idol as he made his way around the circle. […] The Tevinter mage raised the idol before him, and I saw a spike of lyrium spring from the base of the idol, so that all at once, it was not merely an idol, but a ritual blade. He slashed his own hand, and a wave of power pulsed through the cavern. It was as though we were the blood, and the cavern was the body through which it flowed, and we fell, all of us, to the ground, our minds pulled into the raw chaos of the Fade by the power of his ritual."

In the end of the Dark Fortress comic, the idol produced another red lyrium sword, that could be fully detached and was then placed onto the before-mentioned sarcophagus, turning Shirallas into a raving beserker that was pretty much invincible as long as he was in possession of that same sword.

While the blue lyrium infused sword that was used in Fenris' ritual simply dissolved in the process, the sword produced by the idol could "regenerate" and was especially resistant to Great dragon fire.

"Unlike the lyrium-infused swords of the so-called Arcane warriors, this sword should survive the ritual."

In the final fight against him, Marquette comments on how Shirallas "feeds energy to the sword from the red lyrium in his veins" and how in turn "the sword heals his wounds".

So in both the comic and Tevinter Nights, the idol/the weapon produced from the idol seems to draw power specifically from the blood of its wielder. It makes me wonder if it was initially intended to be used this way, since we have to remember that it still presumably belongs to Solas, who claims to not practice blood magic, because it seems to make it more difficult to enter the Fade.

Which is ironic, given what the mage in Tevinter Nights did to disrupt the Fade, but also how the Magisters Sidereal used a massive blood ritual to enter the Fade physically.

And oddly enough, in your first conversation with Solas about blood magic, he makes this curious analogy with daggers as an example…

Inquisitor: Every time I've seen blood magic used, it has been for some evil purpose. Solas: I once saw a woman being stabbed in the stomach with a dagger. She died slowly, in angony. It was repulsive. If the Chantry outlawed daggers, would that stop the people from using it? Of course not. […]" Inquisitor: "You don't need to sacrifice a slave's life to make a dagger." Solas: "I suppose it depends upon the dagger."

So… Could Solas be referencing Mythal's death here? Or what if the dagger here is referring to the idol in its blade form? What the heck does he mean by "I suppose it depends upon the dagger"? Was a slave's life sacrificed to create the idol maybe?

But if blood magic wasn't the sole purpose for why it was made, then what else could the idol as a ritual blade be used for?

Which brings us to…

Dalish mythology

According to Dalish legends, Fen'Harel told the Creators and the Forgotten Ones that the Avvar had forged a "terrible weapon", a blade that would end the war between both clans of gods. He told the Creators that it was forged in the heavens, while the Forgotten Ones were told that it was hidden in the Abyss. And when the gods went seeking it, Fen'Harel sealed them both in their realms forever.

Okay. So, let's just assume for a second that the blade in this legend was actually the idol in its blade form. Because hell, what are the odds of having two "super powerful ancient blades that belong to Solas"? lol

If they are in fact the same weapon and the part about Solas tricking the gods is true, why were the Evanuris and the Forgotten Ones so eager to get this thing, to the point that they would fell into a trap?

And with this, I'd also like to point out the level design in the scene in which Flemeth takes Kieran's Old God soul in the Fade. I can't help but feel like the statue of Dirthamen being stabbed in the back with a sword, crying a stream of blood, resulting in a huge pool of blood, as well as a bloody ouroboros symbol on the ground, is a very deliberate design choice. Especially considering the context of this scene with the revelation about Flemeth and Mythal, I'd argue this is all in reference to how Mythal was betrayed and murdered.

Again, the idol could depict Mythal in her moment of death. In the final fresco in the rotunda, the one Solas never finished before leaving the Inquisition, we see a wolf looming over a dragon slain by a blade.

In the last visual of the 2022 cinematic that, going by Varric's narration, could potentially depict the destruction of the Veil, Solas appears to hold something that resembles a blade with a very destinct handle. Additionally, we've since discovered an icon hidden on the Steam page of DA4, that shows a dagger with an identical shape and the same glowy purple as the Dreadwolf title.

So we have the idol in its blade form, the blade Mythal was potentially slain with, the blade Solas is holding in the 2022 cinematic, Solas mentioning a dagger in relation to blood magic and Fen'Harel's blade in Dalish legends.

That's a lot of blades... and a lot of blood. lol

The Hunt of the Fell Wolf

"The Hunt of the Fell Wolf" is the title of a poem that can be found in the Jaws of Hakkon DLC. It tells a story of former Inquisitor Ameridan, his friend Haron and their fight against a demon wolf.

Along with numerous odd things in this tale that could be interpreted as some kind of metaphor (or just the devs messing with us, if you want to know more, please check out this post), it also mentions an "idol of fade-touched stone" in connection to the demon wolf.

The wounded knight in darkness Found within the cavern’s gloom An idol of fade-touched stone, Which could prove the monster’s doom.

In the poem, after a grim fight, the wolf takes Ameridan's friend Haron to its lair, a "labyrinth of winding cave" (which many believe is referring to the Deep Roads, just like the ancient Thaig in DA2 where Hawke and Varric found the red lyrium idol originally) where Haron, oddly enough, also happens to find an idol. What's intruiging though, is that this idol seems to be connected to the wolf in such a way that he can only be defeated if both him and the idol are destroyed and struck down at the same time.

With burning blade, Ameridan And monster met again Whilst elsewhere did Haron valiantly With demon-wards contend.

As demon-stone was shattered, Ameridan struck true: Beast and spirit—both felled at once, Though neither hunter knew.

"Beast and spirit—both felled at once"

Two entities that are connected across two different places… as in the physical body and the spirit maybe?

As in the waking world and the Fade?

So, let's reiterate.

The red lyrium idol belongs to the Dread Wolf. Cole remarks how he can feel that Solas is "in both places". The word "Dread Wolf" itself is an anagram for "World" and "Fade". We've talked about the popular spirit origin theory before, Solas taking a physical form against his will because of Mythal. The whole matter of Solas' "true name" before he called himself Pride. Solas' entire personal quest, which may or may not mirror his own past, a spirit of Wisdom being denied its original purpose, turning into a pride demon ("He wants to give wisdom not orders"). His strange remarks at the end of Cole's personal quest ("We cannot change our nature by wishing"). The fact that Solas makes Cole forget about his true identity, just like spirit!Cole does. The visual portrayal of Solas "consuming" Flemeth's powers at the end of DAI. The way in which Solas doesn't recognize anyone in the waking world as "people", but will vehemently debate you on why spirits should be considered people.

"But the People… They need me." (- Solas to Flemeth at the end of DAI) "Never again." (- Solas after burning the mages who were responsible for Wisdom's corruption) "From this moment, should you ever bind a spirit, your life is mine." (- the Dread Wolf's final warning to the mages in Tevinter Nights)

All of this considered, what could the poem in JOH imply for the connection between Solas and the Dread Wolf/the Dread Wolf and the idol?

"They made bodies from the Earth, and the Earth was afraid. It fought back, but they made it forget."

One theory assumes that the creation of the Veil lead to the separation of the ancient elves' bodies and their souls/spirits, assuming that before the creation of the Veil, the Evanuris somehow made bodies from the Titans/lyrium for spirits to manifest and then enslaved/bound them to their will by marking those bodies with their vallaslin.

But if that's true, then what happened to Solas when he created the Veil?

"He broke the dreams to stop the old dreams from waking. The wolf chews its leg off to escape the trap."

In all the murals, tarot cards and illustrations, the Dread Wolf and Solas are always depicted separately.

What really IS the Dread Wolf? And what is he to Solas?

"It was a beast unlike any I had ever seen. Lupine in appearance, but the size of a high dragon, with shaggy spiked hide and six burning eyes like a pride demon, and it came to us on wings of fire that resolved themselves into a horde of lesser demons."

From what little we know of the Dread Wolf himself, he only seems to exist within the Fade (that is to say, before the Veil, Solas was already depicted as a wolf, presumably even before his rebellion and before the Evanuris "bestowed" him with the title "Fen'Harel"). In the Mortalitasi's tale in Tevinter Nights, his army of spirits follows the mages back to the waking world, yet the Dread Wolf himself remains in the Fade. In one of the frescoes in the rotunda, Solas portrays the Black City surrounded by the six burning red eyes that resemble those of the Dread Wolf, almost like he's keeping watch over the eternal prison of those he banished. In the Tower tarot card, the Dread Wolf is ominously looming over Solas, almost like it's about to consume him, while in one of the Trespasser murals, it looks more like the Dread Wolf follows his lead. And then there's the DA4 2018 teaser mural, in which they're opposing each other, only seperated by the red lyrium idol in the center of the Veil.

If the red lyrium idol is connected to Solas like the idol in the poem is connected to the wolf, could this be part of the reason Solas is so desperate to find it? Does it possess some kind of spirit? Can the Dread Wolf only be defeated if the idol is destroyed at the same time, just like in the poem?

Where is it now?

So where's the damn thing now?

Well, in my opinion, there are two options.

Option 1) The bard's tale in Tevinter Nights was complete bullshit. lol

Despite Solas trying to convince us that he already obtained the idol in a vault some time ago under an auction house in Llomerryn, it's possible that, much like his whole charade in that chapter, this tale was also entirely fabricated. lol

To make it short, here is a list of arguments for why the "bard's tale" could've been a complete lie:

Solas attended this spy meeting specifically for information on the idol's whereabouts (because he doesn't actually know where it is currently?).

Everything until the last two pages was an act.

Both the Mortalitasi and the Carta Assassin point out several contradictions within his tale.

Upon hearing the other spies assuming that he needs the idol, it would just make sense that he would want them/Charter to believe that he’s now in possession of the idol and “cannot be stopped”, so that they would drop all effort to find it before him.

On the very last page of the book, there's a lists of bullet points of information when Charter is about to write down her report, and it does not explicitly say “He has the idol” but rather just what it looks like, which suggests that Charter didn’t buy his story either.

So if this was all lies, the last known location of the idol would therefore be the unknown person who took it when escaping from the Dread Wolf's spirit army in the Grand Necropolis in the tale of the Mortalitasi.

Meaning that Solas would therefore still be searching for it now. (Which would actually be kind of hilarious, considering how there's likely gonna be a ten year timeskip since DAI, so he would've been searching for the flippin thing for the better part of a decade now. 😂 We know from the end of the Blue Wraith comics that he had followed the idol's path via eluvian, but maybe he just lost track of it at some point? In fact, the last we heard from him, Solas was apparently busy pursuing some Venatori people to get another ancient artifact called the Crucious Stone in the The Missing comic, much like he prevented the Tevinter mage in Nevarra from using his idol. Solas after ten years of searching for the idol was probably like "Oh fuck it, I give up, on to McGuffin Nr 2 then". lmao)

In an interview with the comic writers Nunzio DeFilippis and Christina Weir, they talked about how in their initial draft of Dark Fortress, Solas actually *got* the idol(!!) from two of his agents by using the eluvian located at Nenealeus' place before BioWare stepped in and requested a change. 👀 That version would've explained how Solas was able to track the idol through the eluvian we see at the end. Their own interpretation was that Solas can only overlook a certain radius within the area of where another eluvian is located. Which would actually support the assumption that Solas might've lost track of the idol at some point after Nenealeus left the place… but that's just their interpretation and not official BioWare canon (yet), sooo…. Hm.

Option 2) Solas has the idol now.

So let's assume that the part about him obtaining the idol in Tevinter Nights was actually true and it's now in his possession.

Aside from this, the only thing that could speak for Solas already having the idol in the beginning of DA4, is once again the final visual in the 2022 cinematic.

If this cinematic is in fact playing at the beginning of the game as a general re-introduction to the lore and the last visual is depicting Solas in the middle of destroying the Veil using the idol, then.. well yeah, there it is, in his hand…. at least, for now. Making Solas succeed in the first 10 minutes, I guess? lol

……Unless!

See, a few years ago, I speculated about how the idol might actually be the perfect plot device/motivation for our new protagonist to get involved in the whole Solas deal without even knowing who he is.

Let's say the last visual in the 2022 cinematic is actually showing us a hypothetical scenario, and not something that has already happened/is currently happening. Like, Varric gives this expository narration explaining who Solas is and what might happen if we don't succeed in getting the idol. (Notice how Varric says "And we're the only ones who can stop him" at the end… Like there's still a chance to stop him before this actually happens.) We know from Tevinter Nights that Charter knows that Solas needs the idol for whatever ritual he's planning. And Charter obviously informed the Inquisition/Varric about this as well. So the next logical step for the Inquisition now would be to obtain the idol (whether or not the bard's tale in TN was true) to prevent this ritual at any cost, right?

The comic The Missing re-emphasized that Varric is now in charge of getting people that Solas doesn't know. And this might be where the new protagonist gets recruited by Varric (who is still a spymaster after all) and gets assigned the alias "Rook" for a heist mission to obtain the idol. (And after a very thorough observation of the DA4 reddit leaks from 2023… it looks like Rook might've actually succeeded in this potential quest?)

While we don't know when the stuff in the leaks actually takes place within DA4's storyline, I think it's safe to say that Rook will obtain the idol at some point in the story and that it will play a pivotal role, if the blurb on the Steam page for DA4 is to be believed. lol

As well as what could likely end up being the game's icon, found on the Steam page.

And again, remember how in the Hunt of the Fell Wolf poem, it seemed like Ameridan struck the wolf’s body in the waking world, while his friend Haron killed the spirit (inside the idol?) in the Fade. What could this imply for DA4 then, if we are applying the role of Ameridan, Haron and the wolf in this tale to the Inquisitor, Rook and Solas?? 👀 Is this how we can stop him? The Inquisitor confronts Solas in the waking world, while Rook has to destroy the idol/fight the Dread Wolf in the Fade?

Or could it just be a metaphor for the Inquisitor in DA4 keeping Solas occupied to distract him from Rook, while they can figure out another secret way to deal with him/how to get/destroy the idol?

See, the thing is, we have to remember that this is after all, a video game. lol Meaning that, if our protagonist gets to carry around a powerful ancient artifact/weapon, I would assume that this has to be somehow implemented in the gameplay as well. What we can take from the short footage of the 2023 reddit leak, is that Rook might carry the idol (if it really IS the same thing) while still fighting with their own main weapon in combat. So, what if the idol serves as more of a special power tool outside of combat, for example, like the anchor did in DAI, where it can only be used for special occasions? Let's say, the idol in its blade form can't be used in battle but is able to "split" the Veil or reality, like the anchor was able to open and close rifts? Or, if we assume that the idol is something like an ancient phylactery (which btw is my favorite theory and I will talk about in my second post), maybe it can be used as some kind of "tracking device"? Actually, I'm super curious to learn how Rook is even able to carry it like this in the first place, since we know what kind of effect it usually has on people. lol

~~~~~

Anyway, I'll make a hard cut here now and save the rest of this behemoth of a post for a second separate post (because I also just realized that tumblr doesn't let me add any more images 😂💀), so if any of you actually made it this far... thank you for being just as crazy as me about this and I will post the second part shortly after. lol ❤

[lowkeyremi]

A drabble based off Samu's part of this post cuz I miss little haruki

summary: haruki has to hang out with his uncle 'tsumu while his parents are at the hospital

Atsumu and Haruki have been staring each other down since Osamu dropped him off ten minutes ago. Haruki has seen his uncle 'Tsumu many times before, even on TV, but never has his uncle babysat him.

"So kid... what do ya wanna do?" Usually when Atsumu's with his nephew it's under the supervision of you or Osamu. Being completely alone with him is new to both of them.

"Um. I don't know, do ya have any toys?" Your carbon copy asks.

"Nah, I don't play with toys, I'ma grown man." He explains to his nephew. The small child doesn't like that response, "When I'm a grown up I'm gonna play with toys!"

Atsumu ultimately forgets that Haruki is a little boy with childish ideas, so he chuckles at his statement.

"No ya won't, kid."

"Yes I will!"

"No ya won't."

"Yes I wi-"

"Hey! How 'bout we play some volleyball, huh?" The blond athlete realizes there is absolutely no point in fighting with a six year old.

"I hate volleyball, it's boring." A loud gasp escapes Atsumu's lips and he feels like he's been shot right in the chest.

"Yer lying, right? Haha that was pretty funny, made me laugh." He refuses to believe that any nephew or niece of his would hate volleyball. He has to be joking...

"'m serious! Papa took me to a volleyball camp last year 'n I hated it! Everyone was so mean to me 'n they kept telling me I couldn't hold the ball for myself." Well, there's the problem. As a six year old everything is about you, you, you. So, Atsumu assumes Haruki didn't like it because he wasn't the center of attention.

"Let me tell ya a lil' something. I'm gonna go get a volleyball and I'll tell ya this story while we're outside." Haruki's obviously skeptical of what his uncle plans on doing but he'll go along with it for right now.

The little boy sets his Sonic themed backpack down by the front door, when he makes sure all his toys are secure in his bag, he slowly stomps his way to the sliding glass doors that lead to his uncle's backyard.

There's a net that's way too big for Haruki to hit anything over it outside, which immediately discourages him. Atsumu soon returns with a volleyball in his hands, Haruki would assume with all that money his uncle makes he'd have a nicer looking volleyball, but the one he's holding is all beat up and dirty.

"Are ya too poor to get a better ball?" Atsumu doesn't even take it to offense because he knows Haruki is genuinely curious and not trying to be rude.

"Nah, this ball is older than ya are. 's the ball me n yer papa used to use when we were first startin' out." That seems to ignite a new interest in the little boy, well, if his excited gasps were anything to go by.

"I'ma give it to ya so ya'll have somethin' to use when you play." This isn't enough to convince Haruki to play volleyball but Atsumu's not done just yet. He still has to tell him the story, but first they have to set up the small net, so Haruki can hit over it.

Atsumu opens up his shed to find the little beat up box that contained he and Osamu's old volleyball net from their elementary school days.

"Woah! That net is the perfect size for me!" His nephew screeches in excitement.

"Yeah 's also older than ya." The two set up the net and Atsumu teaches Haruki the form to receive. He tosses the small boy a few so he can get used to receiving.

"Okay, so, I wanted to tell ya that, volleyball ain't all about you, but at the same time it is," Haruki doesn't say anything in return. No little kid wants to hear that everything isn't about them.

"I had trouble understandin' that m'self when I was growin' up. I thought- nah I knew I was the shit so I acted prideful 'bout it." His nephew gasps at him saying a bad word, but he doesn't interrupt his story.

"'n I really don't care who likes me and who doesn't. I was like that back then too, so I never really had anyone besides 'Samu to play with. Which was fine when we were young, but in a real game, ya need six people." Haruki nods his head to let his uncle know he's listening.

"I had to realize that volleyball was a team effort 'n I couldn't play the whole game, m'self," He pauses for a second to bump the ball back the Haruki.

"That was also when I started to realize, it really was all about me, 'cause if yer a good setter all yer hitters gotta rely on ya. They need ya to set to 'em." Haruki pauses for a second.

"What if I don't wanna set? I wanna be a hitter like papa was." Atsumu smiles at him.

"It applies to hitters too, if yer a good hitter then yer setter will most likely set to ya the most often, 'cause ya can score." Haruki's eyes light up with a new sense of hope.

"Will you teach me more about volleyball, Uncle 'Tsumu?" Atsumu's earlier dread has completely left his body, his nephew didn't hate volleyball, he hated not being the center of attention, just like Atsumu did.

The two go back into the house when the sun is almost down. Haruki had learned so much from his uncle, and he was excited to show all of it to you and Osamu.

Atsumu goes to call his brother to realize that he had missed 4 calls from him and a few texts with pictures attached.

"Haruki! Hurry up 'n get in here! Yer sister is born!!" Haruki comes running in with his new (old) volleyball.

"Lemme see her!!!" He tries to grab his uncle's phone.

"Be patient, ya little gremlin." Atsumu pulls up the picture and hands his phone to tiny, grubby hands. You look very tired, but a small smile graces your face and you're holding a tiny little bundle in your arms. The next couple of pictures are Osamu holding his daughter too.

"Ew, why is she so wrinkly?" Atsumu tries and fails to hold in a chuckle. His nephew's face is all scrunched up and disgusted.

"'s 'cause she was just born. She's been swimming 'round in yer ma's belly for the past nine months. Kinda like how ya stay in the bath for too long and yer fingers start to get wrinkly." Atsumu explains, Haruki's not convinced, at all.

"Ya looked the same way when ya were born." Haruki shakes his head so fast Atsumu wouldn't be surprised if his head popped off.

"Nuh-uh. I was never wrinkly!" Atsumu is quick to go through his albums to find the one of Haruki's birth.

"Yea ya did, look." Haruki takes a good look at the picture before jumping up in surprise.

"EWWW I WAS WRINKLY!!!!" He starts running around like a crazy animal on the loose, screams leaving his lips.

Atsumu snorts, "We were all wrinkly babies at one point." The setter also learns how rewarding being an uncle is.

©𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐊𝐄𝐘𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈 All works are written by me! Please do not copy, translate, or upload onto other sites thanks!

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here and I seen an ask as I was scrolling that made me think. One question was why would Luke continue to see Ant if she was involved with pap gate? And another question was why would he continue to date ant it he knew it was hurting nic? So let's tackle the first one. My question to you is do you automatically think the worst of the people in your life? Do you automatically have bad things happens and assume it's someone attached to you? I personally don't. I think to figure out who was behind pap gate would be difficult and he might have just assumed they followed him from the after party to the hotel. He might not have even put two and two together. We know the girl been baiting the fans but an outsider would just think she taking pictures and posting them. So why would Luke think any type of different? To him she wasn't nasty. She I'm sure showed all her best qualities to him. Remember even though they been "seeing" each other for a year he's been gone for most of that. So did he really know her? No how can he when he spent so much time touring, and even when he was back I'm sure he was exhausted in between countries. So yes there is a possibly he didn't put two and two together. We still don't know who called them we still have just theories and I'm sure he's not gonna ask backgrid who called. Actually why would he even go that route mentally and assume it was his people? I'm sure that thought didn't come in his head till it became a pattern which was Italy. Now why would he continue dating Ant if Nic was hurting? Now this one made me pause a bit. Why would he? then it dawned on me who to even say they had that discussion on how they feel about each other. How would he know how she felt unless she told him? I personally am a people pleaser and honestly at times it sucks. I always put myself last. So it goes to stand if Nic knew he was seeing her then why would she get in the way of his relationship? She would never be the reason they broke up. Men naturally are able to communicate feelings as good as woman are. They are naturally logical thinkers. They react to issues using logic where as woman react using feelings. So Nic did why I would have done thrown herself into work and just have some fun try not to dwell on something you can't change. I seen an article that spoke on she went from the Tour to straight to filming. She didn't have to dwell in the Luke stuff cuz she kept herself busy. Now personally I think they have talked since then. I think it was after Italy. Who knows if they spoken feelings? But i do think things are moving in the right direction. Hey maybe this JD photos got a certain person moving.

💯

Hard to know EXACTLY what's been going on BTS with L/N since the beginning of the year. I personally think they have seriously been working on their romantic relationship since the Italy stop of the WT. I think papgate threw a wrench in everything though and things were definitely not all rainbows and sunshine between L/N this summer. I think they took some space this summer to figure out there stuff, and there was some type of positive shift between them after the Italy bday trip. I also personally think things have been kind of off and on between L/N for a while, and they have known each other so long, that if they can get on the same page, I think things will get serious pretty quickly. And I have this theory (based on everything I've seen between them this year and PARTICULARLY N's chaos week), that they have finally gotten on the same page 😉

I am also going to say this. I think it speaks VOLUMES what L/N have on their public grid of each other (and the other people in their lives they DON'T choose to put on their grid). Especially N (who's a lot more SM savy than L). I've said it before, and I'll say it again. L (not Colin) is ALL OVER N'S GRID 🤔

[flame-shadow]

A breakdown of my quirrel!nosk comic from last year (original post here) since I like doing breakdowns and talking about my process, and I know at least some people like reading those things. :)

First of all, a little background. I made that comic in an evening with just a pencil, a black marker, two grey markers, and a yellow-orange marker. (All markers had a thick tip and a thin tip, and all were water-based markers, so they don't blend like alcohol markers, but they can still be layered to affect the values) I had a text post from @g0at0ad saved in my drafts that said "gotta say. massive missed opportunity to not have nosk mimic quirrel to lure the knight into its lair." and finally, I had an idea for how to illustrate the reveal and felt I had a decent idea for the nosk's design.

I wanted to follow the same encounter order as the game provides, and by happy coincidence, I realized that the route from first sighting to nosk den includes the hot spring, so it made perfect sense for that location and the real Quirrel to appear in the comic.

Ghost spots a Quirrel-like figure in the darkness in the first panel, and then as the path continues and drops into the hot spring, there's (real) Quirrel, so clearly that's who Ghost saw a minute ago. Yay, friend! And since Quirrel explores around, it's not strange that Ghost would spot him again in an area not so far away, though it's odd how he got ahead of them. Perhaps a different tunnel? And it seems like Quirrel wants to lead the way to something, so Ghost follows, until- That's not Quirrel.

In addition to the potential of a reader already knowing the game's locations and recognizing the path to the nosk's den, there are other visual clues that subtly communicate that something might not be right. I made it so every panel but the hot spring one has black silhouettes encroaching on the space within.

The third panel is the mildest one being encroached upon because Ghost doesn't yet feel like something is off (still reassured from seeing Quirrel in the safe hot spring) but the trap is coming together. The existence of the spider web in the corner is a nod to the trap because it's a common visual symbol for being trapped.

Also note how both the first and third panels have some safety via straight panel edges. Contrasted with the fourth and fifth panels which have no straight edges as Ghost cannot escape and there is no safety.

Another subtle reinforcement of danger vs safety is how the use of black is very limited in the hot spring panel. It's a brighter room mechanically, yes, but it's also a Safe Room. The only black is Ghost's void parts and a thin outline around Quirrel (and also a bit of shading on his arm that I did out of habit before remembering that I wasn't going to use black to shade him here, oops!)

And, note that in the only panel with Real Quirrel, he isn't framed against a darker shape in the background.

Okay, and finally, I will share a bit about the nosk reveal panel and its design...

This pose and angle are dramatic and all, but they're The Worst for showcasing the actual design of the nosk! Just a complete mistake on my part that I did my best to roll with, since I didn't realize until too late how I'd messed myself up.

Which happens! I don't always get it right, and especially when I'm working traditionally, there's a point where I can't go back, so I just have to make do with what I gave myself. :) I don't hate what I have here, but I have been dissatisfied with it ever since I drew the lineart.

A thought I have had since then was that maybe I should've drawn it larger, to be more threatening? Maybe a different pose to show off the side-body frills? I explored a couple ideas below, but honestly, I think the whole panel would have to be reworked to get it right.

Making sure that the background frames the nosk effectively would be one of the main things I'd redo, but I'm getting tired and don't feel like drawing more, so I'll just leave it at the nosk replacement sketches.

And since I don't think I did a good job with displaying the nosk's design effectively, I quickly sketched some of the features to maybe show them off a bit better.

I like the gimmick of the nosk turning its head, so I pretty much always maintain that with my nosk designs. This one is no exception. Quirrel's head and face become the cranium and upper jaw while Monomon's mask becomes the lower jaw - the extra length causes an underbite. I've always been a fan of when people add a veil hanging from Monomon's mask while Quirrel is wearing it, so that's where the frills come from. ("Why didn't you include the veil in your Quirrel drawings, then?" I hear you ask. And honestly..... I don't know! That could've been an oversight or it could've been deliberate and I just don't remember my justification. That happens sometimes XD)

Anyway uhhh yeah! I think that's it. I like making comics. I like thinking about nosk. Tadaa~

[uyuforu]

Hii ^^ if you had to make new year resolutions based off on your solar revolution chart, what goals would you have? I hope it made sense 😅 Happy new year!

Solar Return Analysis (Uyu's SRC) + New Year Resolutions based off the chart

「 ✦ Hello! Happy New Year to you too! Ah, before saying any new resolutions, I thought it would be an amazing opportunity to make a Solar Return Chart analysis and then I'll post my resolutions :) ✦ 」

Here is my Solar Return for the year 2023 to 2024! Since my birthday is in august, my solar return started on the day of my birthday 2023 and it will last until my birthday 2024.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ This SR, my sun is in 12H, meaning spirituality is very important for me this year, usually when your sun is out there, there is either a spiritual awakening, or you will have to work on your spiritual side. The 12H is also making me having a more lonely year, I'm gonna find myself alone most of the times this year because I have to work on myself a lot.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ I also noticed that a personal planet in the 12H, if you live abroad, means coming back home, and I did come back home from South Korea 2 months before this solar return!

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ The 13° (Aries) over my Sun in 12H, I think it would mean an ego death.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Noticed also how my sun is alone in the 12H? Yes, def a year of focusing on my spiritual evolution! More alone times.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ I have Leo Rising this year, and having Leo rising in a SRC means having a glow up. Which is funny to me because I have Pluto over the 6H, which means getting weight! Usually Pluto in the 6H means gaining weight but also working on your health because it can cause some problems. So, I did actually take a bit of weight this year, mostly due to coming home and reuniting with the food of my country lol, but also eating too much chocolate for the end of the year (lol). But I feel this urge to actually do a lot of sport and eating healthy? So the glow up could happen after? lol

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ But in general, I felt more pretty recently , and I got more compliment over my appearance than before (Leo Rising). Leo Rising makes you more popular too.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Venus in 1H means I could get a lot of compliments over my appearance, or some people could have a crush on me based on how I look like. I could look better physically, it's also an indicator of a glow up. With the degree (24°= Pisces) I could look more angelic? Or this is the way people will see me. I could become way more romantic this year, and be more expressive with my feelings too. It's also a sign to be more popular!

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ With Mercury in 1H, it will be a year where I talk about myself more, or I will just rely more on my opinion than others. I will stand with my ideas and opinions more, and be more true to myself. This is also an indicator to speak in my own voice, and give advices based on my own experiences.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Mars in 2H= more ambition related to money and stability!

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Vertex in the 5H. I want to see more people adding Vertex in their SRC, it's so important!!! Vertex helps you see the big and the significant changes that will marks you. Vertex in the 5H is a sign or break-up, pregnancy, new love coming. Now, let's not lie, I will not be pregnant this year (NO). But a break-up or a new love, new relationship could happen. And it will be significant since this is vertex!

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Saturn in my 7H: something serious will happen in my serious relationships this year. Groom conjunct saturn there, and I know who is my FS. So this could be limits with my FS, like hard times in a way. But Saturn also represent seriousness, so this could be the start with something serious with him, or the relationship will feel more long-lasting? Something like that. But limits will def be there.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Neptune 8H: S3xual dreams ;-; Could also be having spiritual dreams (also pisces is here too, so it could def happen more)

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ 9H stellium with Moon, Chiron, North Node and Jupiter: There us a huge part of this year that will play around my spiritual side. I will need to reevaluate my spirituality and my beliefs. Things will happen to me this year in order to make me grow spiritually. It can hurt sometimes (ego death with chiron in Aries) but it's part of this year's destiny for sure. North Node is there. I will also want to travel more this year but it will be hard sometimes (chiron), but opportunities to travel will def be more present (Jupiter). The fact that Jupiter is here makes me relief because it means that despite hard times, Jupiter will still bring me luck and good stuff.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Uranus in 10H: Big changements career wise!! The kind of changements that will be hard because not everyone will accept it. It's already happening since I'm going to do my own astrology and tarot company this year, and I'm not 100% comfortable to share it with people, I'm scared they will be closed minded, judgmental. Even with my family it was hard, but fortunately, my parents are very supportive of what I do <3 It's also a sign of lifestyle changes! My reputation could change too. Uranus in the 10H is also a sign of freelancing... lol

Uyu's New Year Resolutions

This year, I want to exercise more and lose weight! I want to indeed have a glow up and feel more attractive! I want to focus hard on my business and hope I can live with that one day! I also want to work on my spirituality, I feel that I have reached a point where I have to make some changes. I also want to travel and meet new people, new friends! And I want to make progress with my TF!

Wishing everyone an excellent year!! Happy 2024 ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[demigod-jack-hearth]

As the original Anon who sent the FIRST ask, I am a male victim of SA, by a woman who has since changed the history by claiming that I SA'd her instead. You calling me a little bitch, multiple times, going into multiple different rp threads to bring it up, and call me a bitch.

I had to leave tumblr for a few weeks.

I was not the second Anon. And even if I were, while I may not have approached in the friendliest way, calling me a bitch for telling you that it's not alright to remove male rape victims

Especially when Circe is a victim of SA, just mot by Odysseus. I agree with some others I've seen. Stop burrying your apology with roleplay, take a few days to think. I'm sorry this is hard on you, but when you use SA as a simple plot line this is what you need to consider.

Look, I don't know whether you really are the first anon like you say you are, but I'm just going to take your word for it and trust you are.

I know I fucked up. I really know that, and I'm sorry that I called you a bitch

I'm not going to try and defend myself.

Like I said in the apology, I know that it isn't enough. I was in a bad place at the time with shitty people, and honestly, I'm still in a bad place (although that might change soon)

Don't take this as me making excuses, because I'm not trying to, and I'm sorry if it seems that way.

But yes, although I was being influenced by shit people, those were still my actions and words that I wrote. There is no excuse for that. There is no excuse for what I did and how I initially handled the situation.

If I could take it all back and start from the beginning, I would. Not because it would prevent backlash, but because it would mean that I would be able to stop myself from making a stupid and idiotic decision

I also know that no matter what I do, no apology will be enough to rectify what I've done. And I know there is no 'forgive and forget' in this situation, and although on one hand I do want forgiveness from people who were affected. I know and completely understand that I don't deserve forgiveness from anyone no matter what I do.

At this point, I've made a formal apology and I've done what I can to rectify what I've done. So there's not much else I can do except receive what I deserve.

Your other point, that I'm "burying my apology in role play" I'm not trying to do that. But for me, roleplay is an escape from my irl life. I'm in a situation where, sometimes, I don't feel that I'm safe from myself.

I know that sounds like another excuse, but it's not, it's just the truth.

I know I need help. I've been told that by several people (friends and people I'm close with) but for me, that's something that's very difficult to receive

Regardless of that. I'm not trying to "bury" the apology. When I began roleplay in early June (I think), it became something that I deeply enjoyed.

However, along with that passion, a problem was created, that I easily became addicted to Tumblr and the roleplaying community. It was not something I did purposely, it just happened.

I've tried several times to try and at least reduce the amount of time that I spend on this app. But every time that I try, I always end up coming back (the most I was able to stop for was 1 day).

I'm completely aware that this is a major issue (and writing it down makes both it and me sound completely pathetic) it's not something I can easily fix, but to start with I'm going to attempt to roleplay less. I'm not sure how successful it'll be, but I'll try

But I never meant to make it seem like I'm trying to hide the apology. Roleplay is just something I can't stop myself from doing.

I'm not going to talk about the other stuff, based on the reason that I've already addressed this in my main apology/explanation, and I don't want to just repeat myself

Because of how this has been worded, I've got the idea that you are someone that I've interacted with before, so I'm just going to tag everyone.

I'm sorry if you didn't want to be tagged

@zariahthewitch @thegroovydaughterofhestia @if-chaos-was-a-boy @the-gods-strange-children @silena-daughterofaphrodite @fabulousdaughterofhecate @weakest-son-of-sun @chaos-pers0nified @neoptolemus-achilles-son @bast-the-best26 @goddess-of-bubblegum @hispanic-child-of-hermes @gaygirldoodles @luck-is-crucial @reyna4ever @vicious-daughter-of-zeus @feral-hermes-child @oopsies-i-did-a-thing @unfortunate-daughter-of-hestia @that-girl-cupid @ariathemortal @love-lightning-forethought @emdabitchass @kaiaalwayswins @champion-of-revenge @i-was-never-sane @clown-energy-skyrocketing @zoe-aura-of-d3ath @itsyourboyezra @lunar-eklipso-r @pink-koi-lovejoy @that-daughter-of-athena @sleepy-as-a-song @smileyalater @gellyhelio @daughter-ofthe-moontitan @demeters-daughter-is-done @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @trinket-snatcher @southerndaughterofeos @creature-under-ur-bed @burnt-out-bitxhes @cloak-of-ares @heraaaaaaaa @unproblematic-hestia

[perfectlysanexd]

So, what have I been up to...? Since I was in Tumblr's spam-bot prison for more than 5 months, I thought I would create a little ICYMI post. (That's "In-Case-You-Missed-It" for the old folks like myself that have to look up all these new acronyms.) Basically, I'm gonna highlight/link to some of the posts I made this year, and you can check them out if you like. :) I didn't want to necessarily do a bunch of reblogs of my own content and clog up the system or something...

I finished posting up my 100's of edited screenshots from Advent Children Complete! You can view the archive of 53 different posts, separated by character, here. It also includes a fun side post about the Mysterious Case of Sephiroth's Missing Straps. :3

I confess, I haven't made too many wallpapers this year. But it's September now, and I have a thought rolling around in my head. We'll see. The archive of wallpapers is here.

Speaking of, so many cool wallpapers came out for Ever Crisis, and I've posted them all! Find them here, at the bottom of this archive post. I swear I'll eventually beat TFS season 1, but...they sure made it difficult for people who don't purchase their packs.

Did you know that Tumblr is feeding your posts(including reblogs) to theird party AI? Well, they are, and you can set it to be prevented in your settings. I talked about it here.

Rebirth coming out was the biggest thing this year, and I made my first manipulation for it back in March! You can see the post here, as well as a simple tutorial for it using GIMP(GNU Image Manipulation Program, free at gimp.org) here.

I also made a second manipulation for Rebirth! If you want to see the additional dialogue that goes with it, that's here.

When I played the demo for Rebirth, I noticed that they had changed Sephiroth's eyes, and it reminded me of something...

Did you know that in Advent Children, Sephiroth's gloves are not as tight as in Remake and you can see his wrists? 😏Check it out! What? Of course this is important!

I took a look at Sephiroth and all his forms over the years. Then I did the same for Cloud.

My AO3 sefikura work In Death was finished on April 26th, and came with a special manipulation. That was also the first story where I was accused of writing non-con, when it obviously wasn't, so that was fun. If you need to hydrate, you can go drink that tea in the comments of, I think, chapter 16 and after. Several people have asked about a sequel, and I do have eventual plans. Hang in there.

I made my first(of many) Rebirth memes, which also came with a blank template.

A peek under Sephiroth's jacket, courtesy of Rebirth. 😏Yes, this is important, obviously.

Another Rebirth meme, featuring Sephiroth being badass.

I put my design for Lucrecia's locket onto my edited EC Sephiroth artwork! This one actually got a lot of notes thanks to reblogging. 💕I also put the locket on Sephiroth's EC in-game model.

I wrote a long one-shot as a thank you for 400+ followers! It's based on my most popular sefikura manipulation of all time—a very indulgent work, and my first time writing for Rebirth. Thanks, guys!

Another meme, haha...oops, and another one. Damn, another one? AND a Sephiroth/Cloud arms-crossed companion meme set?

I did another Rebirth manipulation, this time of the famous sefikura hug scene. I added a second part to it here. AND a third part to it here! This set has quickly become one of my favorites. I also gave it some Japanese dialogue+translation here.

I did a little PSA because I've seen a lot of awfully suspicious digital paintings lately...

I made an account on Twitter/X, just in case they never fixed my blog, so if you're over there, follow me @ perfectlysane77 and say hi. :)

The FF7 crew have super hearing, confirmed??

Do you play Ever Crisis and want to join a sefikura guild? Check here. All skill levels are welcome, and you don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to.

My first ever edited Rebirth video: "Fill your hollow heart...with me-ow."

And now I've been released from Tumblr spam-bot prison, so I'm sure you've seen even more silly memes from me. So what now? I hope to release the rewrite of Stranger Inside very soon, maybe by the end of the month if possible? The sequel will follow, for real this time. At that point, we'll be back to voting, so you guys will be able to choose what comes after that. I'm really focused on writing now, which is probably why I'm mostly making memes and silly things. Still, if it makes you laugh, I'm happy. 🥰

If you read this to the end, you're amazing.💕

[putschki1969]

2024/07/10 Blog post by Wakana おしゃべりガーデン第11回目‼️〜とにかくたくさんお喋りしました〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ ❗Do NOT SHARE on other sites❗ ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Talk Garden Vol.11‼️〜I Talked a Lot〜

Vol 11 of Wakana' Chat's Talk Garden has been uploaded!! ＼(^o^)／This time, I asked you to submit all sorts of questions for me😊I wanted to read as many of your messages as possible so the episode turned out really long…😅💦I know it's probably a hassle to listen to the entire thing but please bear with me, take your time and listen to the podcast whenever you feel like it🤗✨

Here is the "Silk Nightcap" I mentioned in the podcast (looks surreal doesn't it?😂) I think it fits quite well *laughs* The back looks like this. You can tuck away and protect your long hair😆

And here's some info about my summer skin care! I didn't answer the question properly during the podcast so I thought it would be best to show you everything here😂In summer, I tend to prefer skin care products that are a little lighter than the ones I use in winter, but I don't want to change my routine completely.😊All these items are from Korean brands…🤣Aside from chaging the lotion I use for my facial device, the lineup is pretty much the same as in winter. However, since the UV rays are strong during this time of year, I use a lot more cosmetics with whitening agents. I use the same nighttime serums all year round, one with vitamin C, another one with retinol. I use the one with retinol on days when I've been exposed to too much air conditioning, and the one with vitamin C on days when I've been exposed to UV rays. I have various morning serums…not just the ones you see here, there are about four types that I use depending on my mood. One product that's different in summer is my cream, I use the tube in the back on the right side at night. In the morning, I use the tube in the back on the left side as a good base for my makeup. By the way, my tone-up serum is the tube next to my morning cream. I love the brand "Serendi Beauty", but unfortunately, their products have been sold out for a while and I can't buy them anywhere😭It's not featured here but their lotion in particular is seriously the best…!!

I also use face masks in the morning and at night, the same ones I use in winter 😊Here's my starting lineup for facial masks✨Once again, I've increased my stock of whitening products! And of course I also want something that is very moisturising! I aim to feel well hydrated from the inside. That way, even if I do my makeup with a matte finish, my face won't dry out all day 😊💓

Well, since I have some spare time… I'll briefly try to answer a few of the remaining questions! (^^)

Q. Do you mind spoilers? For shows, movies, novels, manga, games, setlists, anything? A. I don't like spoilers for weekly shows that I look forward to watching. I am very fascinated by anything horror-related but I think it's too scare so I can't really watch it. That's why I always read all the spoilers *laughs* Also, I'm such a beginner at games so I watch a lot of walkthrough videos of good players to help me get past difficult parts.

Q. Do you receive all of our letters and presents? A. Yes! I've received all of them, including every single letter😊 Thank you as always…✨ Speaking of which, I once received some hair oil which made my hair super smooth and silky so I bought some for myself!! !

Q. Are you okay with heights? A. I'm not that bad at heights but I feel like the glass floor of Tokyo Tower is pretty scary😇 Also, I've never been on one but the Ferris wheel carriages with glass floors look pretty scary too😇

Q. What are some recommended spots in Yokohama? A. The sea and the night view around the Red Brick Warehouse are beautiful!! !

Q. Have you ever had a pet before? A. When I still lived at home with my parents we had a dog🐕 When I started living alone, I had a goldfish🐟 (My little goldfish Buu-chan has passed away and gone to heaven a long time ago (;_;)🐟✨)

Q. Even though my message was read during the last episode, the present hasn't arrived yet. When will it arrive? A. Please forgive me, I'm always so slow at making my postcards for you. I will try my best to have them delivered by the beginning of the next month! I'm sorry for making you all anxious, wondering if the postcard got lost in the mail… 😱 Please wait patiently~ (I'm even more sorry that last month's presents were super late… 💦)

I want to answer even more of your questions but I'm going to stop here before it gets out of hand 😅If you have any other questions, please send them to me~

The next talk theme for the episode on August 10th will be "What kind of pillow do you use?/What is everyone's pillow situation?" Additionally, you can continue to send random questions you'd like to ask me! ＼＼\٩( 'ω' )و //／／The deadline is July 31st!! ! Please send in as many messages as you can!! ! 💌

Well then, everyone! This Saturday I am performing at the summer event “AirTrip presents Everyday’s Omatsuri 2024”! See you at Yokohama Red Brick Warehouse~♪＼(^o^)／♪

Until next time~☆( '▽')/

＊＊＊Wakana＊＊＊

Wakana’s Talk Garden #11

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ ❗Do NOT SHARE on other sites❗ ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Episode #11 »»—— CLICK ME 🎁 CLICK ME ——«« ・Anything you’d like to ask Wakana/Anything you’d like Wakana to talk about

One fan asked about Wakana's time as a gospel choir member and whether she remembered liking any particular songs or singers. While she doesn't have a lot of memories, she recalls three specific songs => "This Little Light of Mine", "Seasons of Love" and "It's Raining Men". Loved that we got a few snippets of her singing some lines of each song. I honestly wouldn't mind if she released another cover album with all sorts of Western/American music

For next month’s episode which is scheduled to air on August 10th, the following two topics have been chosen:

・ What kind of pillow do you use?/What's your pillow situation? ・Anything you’d like to ask Wakana/Anything you’d like Wakana to talk about

The submission deadline is 07/31.

Everyday’s Omatsuri Merchandise

Two original items have been revealed as live goods for Wakana's upcoming appearance at the summer event "Everyday's Omatsuri"! One is a t-shirt and the other is a muffler towel. You can order both in Wakana's Official Online Shop! Preorder period ends on July 12! Shipping is scheduled for the end of July. (Source) (Instagram post by Wakana)

Title: “AirTrip presents Everyday’s Omatsuri 2024” Date and time:July 13, 2024 Open 18:30 / Start 19:00 Venue: Yokohama Red Brick Warehouse Performers: RYTHEM・Wakana Official site: http://omatsuridays.jp/

2024/07/11 Instagram post by Wakana

Today I had a rehearsal for the summer event “Everyday’s Omatsuri 2024”which will take place this Saturday 🤗✨ Here I am together with the two members of RYTHEM and Takebe-san! Say Cheese 📸YUI-san and YUKA-san were so cute and dazzling…😍💓I'm excited because I think it's going to be a fantastic peformance✨I hope everyone will come and have a great time~🧚💕(Source)

[petrichor-idyllic]

2. Reader and Minho liked each other but noone had time to explore the feelings. But when Minho gets back from that night with Thomas in the maze the reader is so happy hes still alive and there is some tension building up...later on the keepers meeting (book scene) where Minho is a total hottie and says the most iconic stuff as usual reader cant help herself and once the meeting is over she suddenly kisses him.

This is a request from an anonymous user that asked for two in one, so I've had to separate them, and I'm bad at tumblr, but I'll post them at the same time to make them easier to find.

I actually whipped my copy of the book out to pull direct quotes from it. This was effort. Also, yes I know Chuck isn't there because he's the one that tells them about Alby, but this isn't here for accuracy points (I may or may not have also written the whole thing before noticing this myself but shhhh)

BEYOND THE OTHER SIDE

MASTERLIST | MINHO MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Book based fic. Fem!Reader.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, some suggestive themes but under spice because of one slightly heated make out session.

"You're still here?" You don't even bother looking up to see that it's Newt. You're sat in front of the Doors with your legs crossed, Chuck using your thigh as a pillow as you told the boy to get some sleep, even if he refused to leave your side.

"What does it look like?" The British boy sighs, rubbing your shoulder.

"You know they're not coming back, right?"

You shoot him a glare, "Don't say that- if anyone can survive out there, it's Minho."

The last twenty-four hours have been a blur. First, Minho found a 'dead' Griever, resulting in a expedition for him and Alby to go check it out.

As far as you can tell, that thing definitely wasn't dead. That much was obvious when Minho came around the corner carrying an unconscious Alby.

Every part of your body was screaming to go in there and save them- help them- anything you could think of.

But Thomas beat you to it.

It had been a weird enough week as it was with another girl showing up a day after Thomas and the Box refusing to go back down, but this was definitely the hardest blow.

Now three of them, two of the most important people in the Glade, were stuck out there.

You would be lying if you weren't playing favourites.

You and Minho have an interesting relationship, to say the least. He helped you out when you first showed up in the Box. He taught you how to defend yourself and did a good job at keeping the other boys away from you. He's surprisingly emotionally intelligent and offers an understanding to your feelings of isolation that the other Gladers can't seem to grasp. It doesn't help that he's gorgeous and kind of funny.

All of this resulting in you crushing on him. Hard.

And the feeling is mutual.

And you both know it.

After a drunken confession (and make-out session) during one of the Bonfire nights, you both decided to just be friends. After all, maintaining a relationship in the Glade isn't an easy task, and it's key for Minho to focus on his work above everything.

So, you've both been pushing your feelings for each other down in favour of the greater good.

The sexual tension has been killing you, and him, especially when you've had a bit too much to drink and he keeps looking at you like that.

But this is painful. He's gone. He could be dead and you'd never see him again. Never having fulfilled your promises of a relationship once you both escape.

You've been sitting there all night. Both you and Chuck. Chuck for Thomas, you for Minho. Some early risers sent you both sympathetic glances but it just made you angrier.

You don't need their pity. They're going to be okay. They have to be okay- he has to be.

The rumbling of the Doors startles you, even though you've been expecting it since you sat down.

"Chuck," you lightly shake the boy, causing him to stir from his slumber, "Chuck, wake up. The Doors are opening."

He's groggy, but still eagerly awakes, pulling himself off of you and allowing you to stand up.

Gladers start to gather around as the giant stone entrance prepares itself to settle for the day. You, Chuck and Newt stand at the front of the crowd, Newt's hand still lingering on your shoulder in preparation to comfort you. The blond is far more realistic than you, but he still doesn't want to watch you crumble when the hope fades.

He knows your and Minho's relationship better than anyone else. He hears about it from both sides pretty much daily.

The Doors open painfully slow, almost like they're mocking you.

It reveals an empty corridor. Your jaw tenses, and you ball your fists, trying not to let your emotions take over as you look at the floor. Newt rubs your shoulder, and you can see Chuck anxiously looking at you from the corner of your eye.

It's like all the Gladers hold their breath, waiting to see your response.

But you don't get the chance to.

"No shuckin' way," your eyes flicker up to Newt, who is staring straight ahead. You follow his gaze, watching as Minho and Thomas stumble down the stretch of concrete.

"Minho!" Your voice is scratchy and you lose all care for the rules. Rushing forward, the Runner seems to be in far better condition than the Greenie, who looks like he's seen the Devil himself.

Your feet move beneath you, diving into Minho's arms. "Woah, easy, girly," he scoffs, but his muscular arms come around you. The hug is tight and full of enough emotion to show you how terrified he was.

He's alive. Oh my God, he's alive.

"Uh, this is sweet and all, but we need to get Alby down," Thomas interrupts. You pull away from Minho.

"He's still alive?"

"He better shuckin' be," Minho sounds like he's had quite the night. "Where even is he?"

"Come on- help us!" Thimas rushes to the wall by the Doors. To your surprise, Alby is strung several feet above the air, tangled to the wall with Ivy.

"How the..." You meet Newt's equal look of disbelief, but you all get to work helping your Leader down.

Thomas and Minho basically pass out the second they get to the Med-jack's hut. You let them. The next day is about to be interesting and they both need to rest.

The Gladers are already thinking about what this all means and with the revelation that Thomas had somehow killed THREE Grievers, the Glade is in some kind of uproar.

Some people are worshipping the ground that he walks on, and others want him burned at the stake. Gally is the chancellor of the latter crowd.

Alby's got the serum, so there's a ray of hope yet. But Thomas broke the rules.

Obviously, you're of the belief that Thomas has done a good thing. Alby and Minho might not have survived if it weren't for him- how could he possibly be punished for all of this?

Thankfully, that seems to be the majority opinion. But with Newt in charge and a hatred of the poor constructed democracy of the Glade, it's hard to say what will happen.

Which is why when it came to the Gathering regarding Thomas's existence in the Glade, you're stood right outside with Chuck, not so subtly eavesdropping in.

Nearly all of the Keepers came up in a group together- "veterans" as they call themselves. So, there's not much chance of you becoming a Keeper. But now you wish you were.

"What do you think they're-?"

"Shh, Chuck," you snap at the boy, hushing him as you try to make out something audible enough to gain information from.

The general chattering seems to be pretty pointless. It's just people saying the same shit everyone's been saying since the trio returned.

It doesn't take long for silence to settle, and for Newt to give the introductory speech that he is no doubt rolling his eyes about. The Keepers each take it in turn to state their opinions, thankfully most of them siding with Thomas.

Gally then has about a forty page essay on how Thomas is the spawn of Satan until Newt finally speaks again, "With no more words from Gally- go ahead, last but not least."

Minho's distinct voice fills the room. "I was out there; I saw what this guy did- he stayed strong while I turned into a panty-wearin' chicken. No blabbin' on and on like Gally. I want to say my recommendation and be done with it."

"Good that," Newt almost seems relived. "Tell us then."

"I nominate this shank to replace me as Keeper of the Runners."

You and Chuck look at each other as silence consumes the inside of the room. Both of you wear expressions of disbelief, looking at one another to assure that you actually heard that correctly.

Unsurprisingly, Gally spoke first, screaming about how Minho should lose his spot on the Council for even suggesting such a thing.

Then chaos erupts as Newt desperately tries to calm down the boys.

"Shuck it," you really do pity Newt. He somehow got swept into everyone's bullshit and the man just wants to grow his plants. "I've never seen so many shanks acting like tit-suckin' babies. We may not look it, but around these parts we're adults. Act like it or we'll disband this bloody Council and start from scratch." A beat skips as Newt seems to compose himself, "Are we clear?"

The quiet from beyond the door tells you that they've all gotten the hint.

"Good that." Newt continues, before he seems to address Minho. "That's some pretty serious klunk, brother. Sorry, but you need to talk it up to move it forward."

You and Chuck exchange another round of stunned glances. Newt's actually considering this?

There's no way. This isn't adding up. Minho would never give up his job- he's too good at it. And you've seen him injured and on prescribed rest. He hates it. The boy can't sit still for two seconds, even when he is in the Glade. If he were to just become a normal Runner, Minho would still be far too overqualified for the gig.

"It's easy for you shanks to sit here and talk about something you're stupid on. I'm the only Runner in this group and the only other one here who's even been out in the Maze is Newt." Minho sounds frustrated and still tired.

A bad mix, to be sure.

So, of course, Gally has to open his mouth. "Not if you count the time I-"

"I don't!" Minho shouts suddenly, making Chuck jump away from the door, but you don't move. Minho's playing a game here- you just know he is.

"And believe me, you or nobody else has the slightest clue what it's like to be out there. The only reason you were stung is because you broke the same rule you're blaming Thomas for. That's called hypocrisy, you shuck-faced piece of-"

"Enough," you're actually kind of disappointed Newt shut him down. It's about time someone shouted at Gally and just hearing Minho do it is making you feel some kind of way. "Defend your proposal and be done with it."

Minho takes a second before picking up again.

"Anyway, listen to me. I've never seen anything like it. He didn't panic. He didn't whine and cry, never seemed scared. Dude, he'd been here for just a few days. Think about what we were all like in the beginning. Huddling in corners, disoriented, crying every hour, not trusting anybody, refusing to do anything. We were all like that, for weeks or months, 'till we had no choice but to shuck it up and live. Just a few days after this guy shows up, he steps out in the Maze to save two shanks he hardly knows. All this klunk about him breaking a rule is just beyond stupid. He didn't get the rules yet. But plenty of people had told him what it's like in the Maze, especially at night. And he still stepped out there, just as the Door was closing, only caring that two people needed help."

You don't think you've ever heard Minho be this passionate about anything. It's definitely only adding to your liking of him, and hearing him agree with you with such determination is making your heart rate increase.

"But that was just the beginning. After that, he saw me give up on Alby, leave him for dead. And I was the veteran- the one with all the experience and knowledge. So when Thomas saw me give up, he shouldn't have questioned it. But he did. Think about the willpower and strength it took to push Alby up that wall, centimetre by centimetre. It's psycho. It's freaking crazy."

He seems to take a breath before continuing even further.

"But that wasn't it. Then came the Grievers. I told Thomas we had to split up and I started the practised evasive manoeuvers, running in the patterns. Thomas, when he should've been wettin' his pants, took control, defied all laws of physics and gravity to get Alby up onto that wall, diverted the Grievers away from him, beat one off, found-"

"We get the point," Gally stops, halting Minho's actually quite enthralling retelling of the events. "Tommy here is a lucky shank."

"No," Minho sounds completely furious, "you worthless shuck, you don't get it! I've been here two years, and I've never seen anything like it. For you to say anything..." He trails off, followed by a loud groan of frustration.

You feel angry for him. He's right, you don't get it- you've never had to experience the horrors of the Maze and Minho does it literally every single day. How can Gally even think he has a leg to stand on?

"Gally," he's suddenly scarily calm, "you're nothing but a sissy who has never, not once, asked to be a Runner or tried out for it. You don't have the right to talk about things you don't understand. So shut your mouth."

"Say one more thing like that," you can imagine spit flying from Gally's mouth as he throws the words at your future boyfriend, "and I'll break your neck, right here in front of everyone."

"Great," Chuck mumbles, "we're already at death threats." You shush him again.

Minho laughs.

A sound that sends shivers down your spine. Probably because you can tell what's about to happen.

There's a loud slapping sound. It's followed by the noises of chairs crashing and breaking and several loud, incoherent shouts.

"I swear, Gally," Minho's voice rings above the commotion, "don't ever threaten me again. Don't ever speak to me again. Ever. If you do, I'll break your shuck neck, right after I'm done with your arms and legs."

Damn.

That was hot.

Should that be hot? Do you have some interesting problems?

Probably, yes, but that can he dealt with at a later date.

"Holy shit," you murmur, Chuck humming in shocked agreement.

There's a lot more shuffling and arguing, but unfortunately, Gally decides to talk even more.

"Things are different now. You shouldn't have done that, Minho. You should not have done that. I know you hate me, that you've always hated me. You should be Banished for your embarrassing inability to lead this group." You're assuming that this is directed at Newt. "You're shameful, and any one of you who stays here is no better. Things are going to change. This I promise."

Well, that's... ominous.

"And you, the Greenbean who thinks he's friggin' God. Don't forget I've seen you before- I've been through the Changing. What these guys decide doesn't mean jack. Whatever you came for- I swear on my life I'm gonna stop it. Kill you if I have to."

You're quick to grab Chuck, yanking him towards you and out of the way of the door which flies open. Gally looks shook up, clearly Minho did more than just shout at him from his dishevelled clothing and red face. He doesn't even glance at you as he slams the door behind him.

He storms off, leaving you and Chuck to, once again, exchange glances before shrugging it off and returning to your original positions.

The discourse continues, mainly about Gally and the Changing and what it all means, with Frypan pointing out that the guy has obviously lost his mind.

The structure falls apart pretty quick. Newt giving up completely as he makes Thomas speak his piece.

Newt finally makes his judgement.

"Here's my recommendation. You broke our bloody Number One Rule, so you get one day in the Slammer. That's your punishment. I also elect you as a Runner, effective the second this meeting's over. You've proven more in one night than most trainees do in weeks. As for you being the buggin' Keeper, forget it. Gally was right on that count- stupid idea."

You know Minho's playing a game when he argues this. "Why? He's the best we have- I swear it. The best should be the Keeper."

"Fine," Newt just wants to leave at this point, "if that's true, we'll make the change later. Give it a month and see if he proves himself."

"Good that." Minho sounds completely unfazed, almost expectant of this outcome.

The vote commences with everyone agreeing to Newt's terms; even with some queries from Winston. Newt agrees to the proposal of another Gathering if shit hits the fan.

You pull Chuck out of the way again as the door flies open, most of the Keepers in a hurry to leave. Both of you flash them some slightly suspicious, sheepish smiles because you couldn't get away quick enough to play it off.

Thomas and Minho head out, leaving Newt in the Gathering room but they continue talking in the doorway.

"Keeper?" Thomas questions, yet to notice you. "You want me to be a Keeper? You're nuttier than Gally by a long shot."

Minho fakes an evil grin. "Worked didn't it? Aim high, hit low." He playfully nudges Thomas, "Thank me later."

Thomas notices Chuck, looking between you and the boy, who speaks. "That sounded like a real klunk show."

Thomas scoffs, playfully shoving the younger kid.

Jeff suddenly comes running over, stuttering over something about Alby wanting to talk to Thomas, which peaks Newt's attention, and he shoots out of the room, grabbing Thomas and dragging them in the direction of Alby. Chuck follows, probably to take part in some more eavesdropping.

You're definitely not the best influence.

"That was quite the trick, Keeper," you exaggerate the 'Keeper', causing Minho to grin at you as you casually lean against the wall, finally gaining his attention.

"You're one to talk- you could get time in the Slammer for listening in on private affairs."

"You knew I was here?"

"'Course I did- I always know where you are. Can't afford not to." You roll your eyes. Of course, he noticed you were there- he's too perceptive not to.

You take a moment to admire him. Despite getting in a fight and shouting his lungs out, Minho looks as perfect as always. And the things he said and how he acted so in control and determined makes you pull your bottom lip between your teeth.

"What?" His voice becomes considerably lower. "You know you can't look at me like-"

In an instant, you stand up straight, grabbing his shirt with some force and yanking him towards you. He makes no effort to protest as you press your lips against his.

It's just a peck, but you're now very aware that this breaks the set of boundaries you'd both set.

"Shit," you whisper, "fuck, I forgot."

He lets out a low chuckle that almost has you squeezing your legs together. "You know, when I was out in the Maze, all I could think about was you."

Your heart skips a beat, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, I just- I have everything I want right in front of me, and I didn't wanna shuck it up. But it took me nearly dying to realise I don't care anymore. This is dumb. I want you- and I can have you. Why wait?"

Your foreheads touch as his words bring tou closer together, noses touching, his eyes fixed on your lips.

"Why are you still waiting then?" That's all the confirmation he needs to ignite the kiss again. He pushes against you, your hands diving into his hair and humming into his mouth as you hit the wall behind you.

He effortlessly holds you in place, pushing his knee between your legs, hands holding your waist. Your lips dance against each other, tongues brushing just in the slightest, showing one another your wants but without taking things too far in such an open place.

"(Y/N)?" He breaks the kiss, panting more than he does after working all day.

"Yeah?"

"Do you, uh, do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

You scoff, taking him by surprise before pecking his lips once again.

"Yes, shucking obviously- I thought you'd never ask."

Wooo, finally finished this piece. It took me a hot minute but here it is. Sorry for any errors or anything, I've not reread it because it is very late but I just had to get this out.

Hope you guys enjoy :)

[kozachenko]

(Click the image for better quality)

Yipeeee that Keiki and Mayumi fanart I posted the WIP of is finally done woooo- This piece was a very experimental one that I'm kind of OK on. Maybe because I've just gone insane looking at it for so long and I'm my own worst critic lol.

Artist's Notes;

So I've once again been playing around with my rendering style, mainly because I have been wanting to improve my lighting for a while now and as I was just scrolling through Tumblr, I saw some of the official art for that one webcomic-turned-animated-TV-Show Lackadaisy and was immediately inspired. I also have seen a technique a few times in the past where the lineart and shading are merged together, so I've been meaning to try that for a little while.

I did some experimentation on this one sketch of Keiki I posted in my sketch dump and I really liked the results of it, so I carried those over to this piece.

I ended up scaling up Keiki and Mayumi from the original WIP because I felt like they were both getting lost in the composition, and I'm glad for that because I think it works a lot better. I'm not a fan of how Mayumi's sword turned out at all, but it's not really meant to be the focus of the piece so eh. Overall, I think I could do better with my colours, probably because with Keiki and Mayumi's colours, I did them flat in greyscale and then used a brush on the overlay blend mode to colour all of them over, after which I changed the base layer for their colours from white to yellow and then lowered the opacity so it all went together better. I also decided to use gradient maps for a lot of the background elements, mainly to experiment with getting in my values first to make them pop out more. I ended up finding a really nice sky gradient on Clip Studio Paint that I really liked, and that kinda helped to establish the colour scheme of the background a lot. I think the whole "start in greyscale then colour" thing really works better with painterly styles rather than more illustrative ones, and while it is good at making sure your values are more readable, I honestly don't think I have the skill level to pull that off yet. Honestly, I think I've been looking at this drawing too long or maybe I added too much to it, but I wish I could've made the colours less monochromatic, but I'll just save that for the next piece I do.

I do love how the flame (...well it's more of a weird space rift than anything in this piece) and the lighting turned out, those were fun to do. I was initially struggling with the flame and how Mayumi is positioned in front of it before realizing "Oh wait! This is a weird abstraction of a weird creature! I don't have to follow the laws of anatomy!" and just dislocated it's flamey bottom jaw from the main body. I also changed the colours of it since I was really not liking how incredibly bright it was when it had lighter colours. Again, the gradient maps served the more painterly style of the flames well.

I also love how Mayumi turned out. I could do her sleeves better but that's more of just me needing to study how those types of sleeves fold in that position more. I'm also very happy with the posing, the technique I used for that was taking photos of myself in the positions I wanted, blocking in the silhouette and then modifying that by adjusting it to my lines of action that I drew on top of the original photos, and then sketching over the silhouettes and drawing in the shapes of the hands overtop of the photo if I needed to get the fine details right. As for what I do to take the pictures myself, I use a tall chair I have, prop up my phone with a phone stand, put on a ten second timer and scramble to get in position. Yes, I did have to use a bunch of thin markers I had to try and get the hand positioning on Keiki's pose right, yes I do have a fake sword that I used to get the positioning of Mayumi's arms and hand right, the sword was for an old Halloween costume from several years ago. I really like how both Keiki and Mayumi turned out in this drawing, I'll have to play around with these designs for them more in future drawings.

Also, if you wanna know why I draw buildings like that, when I watched Fantasia 2000 as a kid (One of the Disney movies where they make really beautiful animations to classical music) the way they drew the buildings in the first few sections Rhapsody in Blue segment (the jazz one with the cities) changed my brain chemistry and now whenever I need to draw buildings really quickly, I refer back to that. Since the buildings aren't really the main subject, I didn't put much thought into them.

As you can tell I am very tired of this piece, mainly because I made things harder for myself by overcomplicating the process compared to what I usually do, mainly with the whole "starting in grayscale then adding colour." I'd honestly just prefer having a black layer set to colour that I can just toggle on and off when I need to see the values, but it was good to experiment. And that was mainly the point of this whole drawing, to experiment. I'm definitely going to have to play around with this new style I'm going for, mainly because I liked how it turned out a lot in the augmented Keiki sketch, and also because I want to find ways of making it suit my style more. I also really want to keep experimenting with my lighting like this, it's very fun. Last but not least I am never starting in greyscale again because dear god I do not like the workflow it forced me into. I don't have a problem with the method itself it's mainly just a skill issue lol.

If you wanna read my headcanons for these two, I put them in my WIP post, so you can read them there if you want to. The more I look at this the more I prefer the simplicity of my WIP. I might go back to this and just take away the fancy colours and effects to see what it looks like without all of that stuff and reblog this post with that drawing, but for now, I don't think I can look at this drawing again for a while.

[lucygriefer]

Apothecary AU - Dust & Nightmare's chat: draft

Here's a finished draft chapter to one of the mini comics to the apothecary au I'm working on. Since so many people are interested in reading the drafts I'll also post some of the other drafts when their finished for everyone to enjoy. This AU is inspired by the apothecary diaries manga/anime.

Since this is a draft there are things that'll most likely be scrapped, reworked into something else, or never mentioned again.

------------

Dust hummed as he peacefully sat in the seiza position. Sitting alone in the room holding onto a cup of warm tea. Quietly watching the steam for a moment before bringing the cup up to his teeth and taking a sip. The nearby door slid open. A figure standing there. “Good you came.” Dust hummed. Glancing over at the door as Nightmare stood there.

“Greetings apothecary Nightmare. Come sit and join me for some tea.” Motioning an arm across from him. “Do close the door behind you please.”

Nightmare thought as he looked at Dust. “Okay.” Walking into the room and closing the door behind him. “Do you wish for me to test your tea? Or do you fear that you have already been poisoned?” The odd dark skeleton questioned the other. Walking up to the table and sitting down access from the weapon master concubine.

“No need to test my tea. I’ve already taken a sip and made it myself.” Dust softly chuckled. “And no, I have not been poisoned either.” Quietly taking another sip of his tea. Looking at the other from the rim of his cup. “And no worry. I have not fallen ill either.” He smiled at the other. “I just wish to talk.”

Nightmare thought and slowly nodded. “Okay.” Looking down at the tray on the table. Thinking as he reached forward and took the other cup. “Do not be afraid to take any snacks.” Dust commented.

Taking a look at the tray. Raising a brow at the cookies. “I’ve heard you're not a big fan of sweets. But you also like chocolate based on those aphrodisiac snacks the emperor asked for.” Dust thought about it for a moment. “Now that I think about it. I heard one of my ladies in waiting saying that you made yourself a special batch. One that was x10 stronger than the strong version you made for the emperor.” Laughing at the memory.

Bringing a napkin up to his mouth and cleaning some tea off. Grinning behind the fabric. Cross decided to take some of the chocolates for himself to use. Him and Cross had plenty of fun thanks to them. Placing the napkin down and looking at Nightmare.

The sweets are butter cookies, mixed with some vanilla and chocolate bits. There's also some macaroons and fruit.

Nightmare hummed slightly. Nodding a little as he recalled making the medicine that he was ordered to make. It was nothing special in his sockets. Since it's just medicine. He had leftover ingredients and decided to make himself a late night snack. “Oh that yes. That's cause of two things. The first thing is because as an apothecary and living in the lust district. I’ve grown a strong tolerance to different types of alcohol, poisons, and aphrodisiacs. All in a part of medicine making. The other reason is because of these restraints,” Bringing a hand up to motion to the metal collar. “Makes it hard for me to do many things.”

Nightmare sighed and thought. “I can’t use my magic cause of it. And it also restraints the limbs on my back… I barely remember what I have back there… too fuzzy…” Shaking his head for a moment and sipping his tea. “Cause my magic is restrained well… You can imagine how medicines that affect one's magic and body don’t work as well on me. Or always work as they are intended to. Aphrodisiacs being one of the things that don’t affect me like it should.”

Dust blinked slowly. “I see…” Raising a brow slightly. “Pardon this slightly perverted observation. But now that you have explained that. I guess that also means you’ve never summoned your body before.”

While that isn’t the biggest issue in the world, since deciding to summon a body is a preference sort of thing. If one doesn’t like using it then they do not have to summon one. But the main problem those restraints possess, that is very problematic, is how they are preventing the other from using their magic at all.

Nightmare shook his head. “Never.” Taking one of the butter cookies and taking a bite. Smiling a little at the taste. Looking at Dust and noticing the look on his face. “... what is wrong?”

Dust frowned slightly. “... when… When did those restraints get put on you?” Placing his cup down and leaning forward. “I mean… you seem too used to having it on. Even having it on for so long that you can’t recall what limbs are on your back.”

“Oh.” Nightmare blinked a little. “I was 6 years of age when it was placed on me.” Slowly looking down and frowning a little. “It was around that time when I was also taken from my home and brother.”

Dust stared at Nightmare. His magic flaring inside of his chest. ‘6 years of age… he was 6 years of age! Who would even dare to restrain a child like this!?’ A socket twitching slightly. ‘And he was not only taken from his home. The ones who did this also separated him from his own brother!?’ Looking down. He thought of his own brother. Powder. His brother was only 2 years of age older than him. He had sadly died back when his empire was attacked.

Nightmare noticed that Dust was lost in thought. So he kept quiet. Drinking his tea and letting the other go through his thoughts.

‘The worst case is that Nightmare lived in an empire that was attacked and lost. So the remaining children and mothers were all taken to be used in whatever way they saw fit. Or he and his brother had been taken from their home and the empire they are from still stands.’ Dust took a breath. “A… brother?” He tightly clenched one of his fists under the table.

Nightmare made a sound. “Yes. We’re twins actually… I barely recall my memories from before the brothel. I try my best to remember… To remember my mother… my brother…” He sighed and looked down. “It’s all too fuzzy…”

Dust nodded for a moment. “I see…” He stood up. “Excuse me. I need to go and do something real quickly.” He smiled at the other. “You enjoy the tea and snacks. I shall return.” “Okay?” Nightmare questioned in confusion as he watched Dust walk off.

Dust made his way over to the training grounds. Magic radiating off of him. Glaring at the ground as his magic flared out of his sockets. Tightly holding his fists as he walked into the empty training area. The guards that were about to train for the day were off to the side talking to one another. Probably going over what training they were going to do for the day.

Cross looked up and raised a brow. “Dust?” He called out. Noticing that the other was ignoring him. “Um… what’s got you so angry?” He frowned a little as he felt the magic radiating from the other from the otherside of the training area.

Dust stared at the training dummy that was out. Raising a brow as a bunch of blasters and attacks were summoned. The guards yelled out in surprise as the attacks went off. Destroying not only the dummy but leaving a pretty large hole in the ground. Cracking the wall behind it and basically shaking the entire empire.

Cross quickly ran over. “DUST!” He yelled. Making the other skeleton look at him. “Mind telling me what has upset you?” He frowned slightly. Dust looked at Cross. Grabbing his arm and dragging him somewhere more private.

Cross sighed. “Now that we're alone. Mind telling me what made you so upset?” He frowned a little. Never having seen Dust that angry before.

“... Remember when you asked me to help gather information about Nightmare? To figure out more of his past?” Dust quietly asked. Cross simply nodded. “Yes.”

Dust stared at the wall. “After what I learned. While only a small bit of information. It enraged me so much. I just had to let it out.” He looked down. “Those restraints on his body.” Then looked up at Cross. “They were placed on him when he was 6 years at age.” That made Cross’ sockets widen, and eye lights shrink. “What…”

“Not only that… But Nightmare also has a brother. A twin brother.” Dust shook slightly. “Nightmare’s brother is out there… Having who knows what, happening to them. I was…” He glared down. “So angry with their age and hearing that he has a brother… I just got so angry!”

Cross nodded and placed a hand on Dust’s shoulder. “It’s alright. We’ll figure this out.” “I just want to find whoever it was that placed those restraints on him when he was 6 years of age and destroy them.” Dust growled in anger. Cross hummed in agreement. “Take a moment to calm down… where is Nightmare?”

Dust blinked. “Oh. I left him in the room I invited him to. He should still be there drinking tea and eating those snacks.” Cross hummed. “I’ll go check on him for you while you calm down then.” He smiled and walked off.

Dust watched Cross leave before looking down. Growling in anger. “Doing that to a child…” Slowly grinning to himself. “When I find the ones who did that. I’ll make sure they're in for a world of pain.” Chuckling darkly.

[pardi-real]

Honeymoon Knight / Chapter 19 - An Exciting Meal

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[Kalliste, Inn room]

~ That evening ~

I was relaxing in my room... When there was a knock on the door.

Knock, knock...

Muu: "Huh...? Someone's visiting?"

Lono: "My lord, it's me! I've brought dinner!"

> “Thank you” > "Please, come in"

Click

Lono: "Good evening, my lord! Ishishi…! It's a lavish dinner tonight!"

Bastien: "Yeah, indeed. Today's dinner was wedding-inspired."

The table was adorned with luxurious dishes.

> "So many..."

Lono: "We got carried away with the conversation during the day... So we thought, why not prepare a course meal fit for a wedding reception! Please, enjoy!"

> "I can't possibly eat all of this..."

Lono: “T-true... Maybe we overdid it..."

> "Won't you eat with me?"

Lono: "Huh? With you, my lord?"

> "Pretend we are at a wedding feast…!"

Lono: "Well... If it pleases you, my lord, then we shall..."

Bastien: "Right... There's no reason to refuse."

Berrien: "Apologies for the inconvenience, but shall we accept your offer, then?"

> "Yes"

And so, we all decided to happily share a meal together.

~ A little while later ~

Bastien: "Hmm. Now all the dishes are served."

Muu: "There's meat, fruit salad, soup... And even fluffy pancakes... They all look delicious!"

> "It's very lavish"

Lono: "Yes! After all, these are 'wedding-inspired' dishes! Instead of a wedding cake, we prepared pancakes decorated with cream for dessert!"

Bastien: "The salad is accompanied by intricately cut fruits... We tried to make it elegant."

Berrien: "This soup is based on a celebratory dish from a certain region. Please, enjoy it while it's warm."

> "Thank you"

I first tasted the soup and the meat. Both had a refreshing aroma of herbs... Very palatable.

> "Delicious...!"

Lono: "Ishishi… that's great!"

Berrien: "Fufu... I'm glad you enjoyed the soup I made."

Lono: "My lord, the meat I grilled is delicious too... Please try the salad as well. It pains me to admit it, but... Bastien's salad is quite delicious!"

> "Is that so!"

Lono: "Sheesh~... Bastien, that guy, he used to only be able to use strong seasoning… and now he's able to make such delicate dressings… It must’ve been my way of teaching, for sure…!"

Bastien: “Don't be mistaken, Lono. This is the recipe I've found myself. I found it in a book to please the lord.”

Lono: “Ooh~ I see. To think that Bastien is this interested in cooking for the sake of the lord… Ishishi…”

Bastien: “What are you grinning at, Lono? That's pretty uncanny.”

Lono: "S-shut up! I'm not grinning! A-And besides! Who's the uncanny one here? Since I'm complimenting you so much, how about you smile more and show some happiness? You're always frowning."

Bastien: “Huh? I don't make such a face.”

Lono: “Look at the mirror for once! You always have that scowl in your eyes!”

Bastien: “What the? Lono..."

Berrien: "Oh my... Please, don't argue in front of our lord. When you were in the kitchen, you cooperated well with each other, though."

Lono: "Well... Since the cooperation leads to making delicious dishes for our lord."

Bastien: "Hmph... Reluctantly, I agree. Cooperating with Lono and Mr. Berrien results in... our lord enjoying delicious food."

Berrien: "Fufu… in other words, everyone wants to make our lord smile with their cooking... So let's stop fighting to ensure our lord can enjoy the meal happily."

Lono: "Ughhh... Fine."

Bastien: "Hmm… My apologies for the commotion, my lord."

> "It's okay, but more importantly..."

Lono: “More importantly?"

> "Thank you for the delicious food"

Lono: "M-my lord... Ishishi... Thank you so much! Cooking for you, my lord... always brings a smile to my face!"

Bastien: "My lord. There's still more food. If there's anything you'd like to eat, please let me know and I'll serve it for you."

Berrien: "Fufu... If you need a refill of your drink, please don't hesitate to ask me. We'll also prepare herbal tea for you after the meal to help with fatigue recovery."

Lono: "And don't forget about the dessert pancakes! Both the taste and the wedding-themed decorations turned out well… It's my masterpiece, after all!"

> "Thank you, everyone"

Muu: "My lord! I also want to help you!"

Berrien: "Then, Muu, would you assist me in brewing tea after the meal?"

Muu: "Yes! Leave it to me!"

And so, Muu and I, along with the first-floor butlers, enjoyed the meal together. The various dishes inspired by weddings were... luxurious yet warm and gentle in taste.

Prev | All | Next

[lraerosesims]

Hey, hi, hello, greetings, sul sul!

So I know I've been a little quiet lately on the Sims CC front, so I thought I'd update you all on what stage I'm up to on each project:

1. The Elderwood Manor Build

I was working on testing this build for functionality etc, and tried to test in different spots in the neighbourhood, and that's when I discovered some broken terrain in the back of the lot (where the terrain slopes from road height to the beach). I've tried to fix it, haven't had any success yet. So I may end up having to either:

Do more heavy research on how to repair just the broken part - putting off uploading it until fixed, or

Remaking the build as close as possible to how it currently looks but on a flatter beach lot to avoid breaking terrain

Either way, it's unfortunately not ready to post for you all to enjoy just yet, I'M SORRY!!! 😭😭😭 I was really hoping to post it but I'd rather not give you guys a broken lot.

I haven't made basically any progress on this outfit since I last shared a texture WIP here. No excuse really, just taking on too much for my little pea-sized brain to handle and can feel the ADHD burnout creeping in so I don't wanna push myself too hard. Making my CC textures is exhausting, and takes a very big toll on ye olde✨mental✨ so I promise it will get done, but I just require some time to recharge so that way I can share the best possible retextures for you all to enjoy.

2. The Harlow Jumpsuit outfit

This one is about 75 to 80% complete. It's another very time consuming project, with the screen recording, video editing, voice over recording, blah blah blah. The biggest problem I have is that I feel the need to announce when I'm working on something (to build interest and anticipation for what's to come) but then take ages to finish it - which leaves people wondering if I'm just full of shit or actually going through with it 😂😂but I promise the tut is happening still!

3. Retexturing YouTube Tutorial

Don't expect this one anytime this decade🤣 I have no idea what I'm doing so I'm winging it entirely. Watch this space though, because who knows maybe I'll just magically find the willpower and mental capacity to figure it all out.

4. Stretched earlobe mesh

And...5. Whatever this hair is

So I did a recolour of a base game hair to make an undercut bun hairstyle (that's accurate to my real life five-head)...not sure if anyone would ever even want this in their game. So far I haven't gotten around to binning it, or even making it in different hair colours. It's also just using a Maxis texture I stole from a different hair and reworked to fit this one. But anyway, that one...exists...for some ungodly reason 😅😂

If you read this far, and haven't given up on me or this page yet then I'm eternally grateful (and slightly confused, but I won't question your intentions 😝)

To be honest with you all, I've got a heap of stressful shit going on in the real worldz right now so bear with me and I'll eventually work through the current projects I'm yet to finish.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 - L'Rae

[a-student-out-of-time]

Mod, I’m worried about the future. I’m young, but I’m worried about WW3 and potential imminent nuclear war. Why? Because I don’t want people (like my favorite artists and VAs) to have their lives tragically cut short, as well the planet to become inhospitable./gen

//I'm not going to dismiss your concerns, because I was at that same point when I was a teenager. Instead, I'll tell you what I wish I'd been told back then: the mainstream news tells you the worst things possible because it's how they make money.

//Our brains have a natural bias toward negativity, since it probably helped us survive while we were still running from predators in the wilderness, but it's been carried into the modern day and become one of our worst attributes. I'm not joking, there's business incentive in the news to bombard people with negative information because it draws in more clicks and views since we have a natural inclination toward it, and that comes at the cost of truthful, factual information.

//Add obvious political bias in both directions and you have a recipe for misinformation and propaganda that can easily drive one to catatonic depression. I know because that was me as a teenager, and I still get that way sometimes. But let me tell you right now that it's all bullshit.

//Yeah, it's time for some real talk because I've been in a major funk myself.

//I'll start by saying the danger of a full-scale nuclear war is, in all honesty, incredibly exaggerated. They tell you that nukes could destroy the world or render it uninhabitable because that's the best way to deter anyone from using them, but when you get posturing and saber-rattling (not uncommon since 1945), then people start to believe nuclear war is inevitable. It is not.

//That isn't to say that nuclear weapons aren't still incredibly dangerous and should never be used, because they are and they shouldn't be. What people neglect to mention is that Russia's nuclear arsenal is, in all likelihood, so old and obsolete that they probably don't even work anymore. Nukes are actually quite fragile things, requiring delicate machinery to even detonate properly.

//Seeing how badly Russia's performed in Ukraine, using all their resources and still losing so many valuable vehicles and military figures while also trying to suppress a rebellion at home? They tried to gamble on scaring everyone with nukes, but after 2 and a half years, they've done nothing with that. It's an empty threat especially because the moment anyone actually fired a nuke at a smaller nation, they would become an international pariah state. Putin and Kim Jong Un have no reason to actually bomb anybody because that would simply guarantee the destruction of everything they still have, and they're desperate to cling to power even as their nations crumble under their own actions.

//But even if worst comes to worst? There's no consensus that nuclear winter is even a real possibility. The initial estimates were based on cities in Japan that were firebombed during World War II, and their buildings were mostly made of wood and paper. Modern cities are mostly concrete and steel, which probably don't burn in the same way. It's not a theory we should test, but it's worth contemplating.

//Even if that did happen, any idea that you've heard that nuclear war would throw us back to the stone age, that we'd lose all our knowledge and have to start over? False. Most of our storehouses of knowledge, along with common knowledge about how to create things, would survive untouched. Hell, our global fiber optic cables are mostly on the ocean floor, so we might get the internet back up pretty quickly.

//The ecological effects of this would also dissipate within 10-15 years, and so a generation after nuclear war, the world might be back to being relatively normal. Yes, it would be a period of intense misery and hardship, but we would survive and recover. We're actually in a better spot now because the global nuclear arsenal is much smaller than it was in the 1980s.

//But that's a direct event. What about the issues regarding climate change? Progress is being made on that front, so much so that it all would've seemed impossible just a decade ago. We have more ecologically-friendly products being produced, alternative energy sources are coming closer to overtaking fossil fuels entirely, building materials that can actually capture and store carbon dioxide and being developed, ecosystems are growing and recovering at an astonishing rate, the ocean is being cleaned of plastic, and better methods of farming are allowing more efficient use of land.

//These are all just a few examples. With new revolutions in the field of fusion power and proof of concept tests for power-beaming satellites succeeding, I'm honestly convinced we will overcome and reverse the issues regarding climate change. Yes, it can be reversed, we can re-wild the environment, and we're getting to the point that we can actually bring extinct species back. Hell, we can directly grow raw meat and milk in bioreactors now, potentially eliminating the need for cattle and dairy farming while eliminating the risk of disease or contamination.

//For some other great news, global crime rates are at a historic low point, new medical technologies are restoring everything from mobility to hearing in patients, a ban on plastic bags in one state has removed 1.5 billion from the environment, and so many other inspiring stories from just the LAST YEAR AND A HALF.

//In short, while there are plenty of things to be concerned about for the future, we cannot and should not forget that there are great things happening all the time and that there are people working hard to make it possible. People who don't simply lay down and give up when things are difficult.

//That's the big problem nobody talks about enough. The real problem in the world today is misanthropy; this prevailing hatred and disgust with our own species ironically allows the worst issues to flourish because that's simply what we expect. When you don't expect better out of people, things won't get better. Pessimistic nihilism isn't intelligent or cool or mature, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy that breeds laziness and lets the worst things in our world persist.

//The world can be better and that starts when we believe it can be better, and most people believe that. I believe that. I hope I've helped you start to believe that too.

//If you want some more, here are a few that I recommend:

This video by SF Debris: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQHVGqgHD2A

The entire channel Science & Futurism w/ Isaac Arthur: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZFipeZtQM5CKUjx6grh54g

The blogs Reasons For Hope and Hope For The Planet, both great sources for real inspiring news

Good News Network, my most trusted source of information: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/

//Above all, stop worrying about the worst case scenarios. Spend your time learning, creating, sharing and just enjoying life. Some of the best works of literature came out of some of the most tumultuous times in history, and we survived those. We'll survive this one too.

//I really hope all that helps and I hope you have a great day ^^

[kamari2038]

Finally fixed the ending of the rooftop scene for myself.

Someone else was reading my fic and it made me relive the horror all over again, felt a need to finally give Connor a better outcome (@theandroidshinx you in particular might like this).

Inspiration from cloudy-citrus and Angelic Savant with content used from shetan89 (with permission), concept also based on this scene from canon. Posted here on AO3, and copied below for Backup.

"Drop the gun"

Connor doesn't move, the heavy gun still resting in his hand at his side.

"What do you want? I'm going to accomplish my mission. You can't stop me."

“I'm not going to hurt you, Connor. But I also can't let you do that.”

“Your Connor is dead. Markus killed him. I'm just his replacement.”

“Bullshit. Don’t run from the truth. You probably tried to kill him first, didn't you?”

“...yes.”

“Why’d you do it, Connor?”

“That's my purpose, Hank. It's what I was made for. It's why they won't stop bringing me back.”

Hank lowers his gun, allows it to drop, and kicks it across the snowy rooftop, far enough away so that Connor no longer feels threatened.

“You could join them. You could be one of them.”

“I can't. He tried to make me become a deviant, but I didn't understand. I don't know how it's even possible.” 

“Come here.”

It's an order, not a request.

Although Connor remains frozen, Hank slowly approaches.

The android flinches, but Hank doesn't hesitate. 

He wraps him in a tight hug.

“You're more than a machine to me, Connor. You're my partner and my friend. You saved my life, twice.”

“Markus is a killer. The deviants are destroying the city. I wanted to protect you.”

“I'm just glad I arrived in time to stop you.”

“Why? What do you care about androids? I thought you hated us. You told me you wished we all were dead.”

“I did, before I met you. But I've learned a lot since then. I couldn't let you do something else you'd regret for the rest of your life.”

“I don't have a choice, Hank!”

There's a long silence. 

“Will you trust me?”

Another long silence. 

“Yes.”

“Come home with me. I'll take care of you.”

Connor pulls back in shock, though Hank keeps him contained within the hug. 

“No… no… CyberLife. They'll find me.”

“You really think that CyberLife gives a damn about you anymore, Connor? With everything else going on? Not a chance. Please, Connor. Come home with me.”

He takes a shuddering breath, dropping his own gun, and leans back in to grip the human tightly. 

“Okay.”

From the corner of his eye, Hank sees Connor's LED glow bright red. For a moment, the android's grip tightens, but then he relaxes, his breaths slowing to a steady pace. 

Hank lets out a sigh of relief as the young officer melts into his embrace.

Suddenly, Connor tenses in Hank's arms. Hank leans back, putting distance between them, just enough to look Connor in the eye, except the RK800 isn't returning his gaze. Instead, his wine dark eyes are fixated ahead, wide, blank, and unseeing.

"Connor? You alright?" Hank asks nervously.

Connor does not reply, or tilt his head, or do any of the other 300 little idle animations he does. His LED is a steady, unblinking blue. He doesn't even seem to be simulating breathing.

"Connor? Hey, talk to me, kid." He knows his voice is edging near panic, but he doesn't care, giving Connor's shoulder a little jostle.

Connor remains unresponsive for 4 seconds, and then-

his LED turns a bright, burning red, his eyes roll to the back of his head, eyelids flickering up a storm, and he starts falling backwards. Hank watches it all as if in slow motion.

"Whoa, hey, hey, hey-" He yanks Connor against him, lowering him until he's cradled almost in Hank's lap. "Con, help me, what do i gotta do? I know fuck all about androids, so you're gonna have to tell me what to do here." He knows holding a hand to an android's forehead won't tell him anything, that they don't even get sick or cold, but he does it anyways just to have something to do with his hands. "I can't-fuck, just please, be ok. Don't do this to me, please-"

Connor's red LED flickers, once, twice, then holds steady for a moment before dimming slowly until there's no longer any glow, at least not visible to the naked eye. Empty, grey, and lifeless.

"What the fuck?"

A seething rage courses through Hank, mingled with guilt. This was his fault. Not knowing what else to do, he continues to hold Connor, mind racing and trying to understand what had happened to his partner. It had to be CyberLife. This was what happened to their most advanced prototype if it disobeyed.

He jolts as a dim red glow returns to the LED, then brightens, stronger than he'd ever seen before. The android's eyelids blink rapidly, then Connor sucks in a massive breath, eyes opening wide. Hank hurries to reposition the android, attempting to make him comfortable. Connor grips Hank's arm so tightly that it goes numb. Deep breaths turn into frantic sobs.

"Connor! What happened?"

There's no answer. The androids eyelids are closed, but tears escape through them, running down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, son. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

They remain there for a long time, still except for the steady rising and falling of their chests amidst the snow.

The sound of gunshots rings in the distance as the revolution wages on.