#Also. Just a handful of thots and critiques.

[gumjamin]

I WATCHED SPIDERMAN ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE AND HAVE THOUGHTS SO IG SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT

I feel like I was the victim of overhype??? Or maybe I am too out of the loop/my tastes have changed, cuz boy it didn't hit quite as much as Into the Spiderverse did.

DON'T GET ME WRONG. THE RISKS THEY TOOK ON ANIMATION AND THE BOLD STYLES THEY USED WERE AMAZING.

I am so so happy they did so many things to play w consistency, style, color, shapes. And I am even more happy that that all is paying off financially cuz fucking hell it is refreshing to see this type of animation on the big screen. Hope everyone pays attention and starts letting creative people take bigger, bolder steps in animation.

But.

Nuance here please.

I don't think everything worked quite as well. Not... As a whole?

As much as the visual styles were amazing to look at, they could also be very distracting. At times I just couldn't tell exactly what was happening (in so sad, but it mainly happened w Hobbie for me.) that hurt a lot of the action and clarity of things, it took me longer to realize what, a character was supposed to be doing. Which... When you have SO many spiderpeople, it feels crucial.

At times, it also felt like some of the decisions didn't quite work on the level that they wanted them to work. For instance the soft, muted pastels during the last scenes between Gwen and her dad. I couldn't get lost on them, I couldn't just focus on what was happening. Instead I... Wound up focusing on how muddy and weird the colors looked. I know, I know, petty artist thing. But it... Distracted me a lot. And what feels worst, a few minutes after I left the theater, I saw a post by one of the key colorists of that scene!!! And!!!! My man!!!! Those color keys looked fucking beautiful!!!!!! It... It felt like something got lost in the process there. I dunno. I don't want to be mean, but some of it just didnt fully land with me.

The writing...man. I don't want to be mean, but it felt much more marvel-y than

Beyond the visuals though.... I feel like the audio and writing were not as sharp as the visuals. At least not compared to Into the Spiderverse (tho I'd need to go back and watch that again to confirm)

The music... Didn't feel as impactful as it did in the first movie. Back in that one, each song had a specific emotional beat, something it was tied to within the movie beyond "oh this sounds vaguely menacing." i remember, for instance, how the prowler's musical signature was firmly embedded into the song associated with him. How it resonated through every scene he was in. Same with Sunflower, same with Whats Up Danger.

For ATSV... I think they tried some of that with Miguel, but it didn't quite live up to the Prowler. I can't remember any of the songs....maybe a little from the trailer??? But that's it. Again, this might be me, but it definitely felt like it was missing.

The writing. It felt very... Meme-y and self referential, but in a way that I couldn't quite keep up with. Mind you, I am a Mexican guy in my late 20s, so English is not my native language and I have been staying away frm most social media for mental health reasons. Maybe I just can't keep up and that's fine. But at points it reminded me of the worst of the witty live-action marvel movies. Just constant witty banter with just a split second to rest or absorb information. All self references, all inside jokes. It's great dumb fun! Yes! I remember ITSV doing it too!!!

But with just a handful of spidermen...

I feel it got a bit out of control, is what I'm saying.

And yknow what, it was still very much a fun, approachable movie that I was able to watch with a friend who hadn't seen the first one!

....

But that ending man.

That ending really... Doesn't sit right with me. I am one of those idiots that's just so burned out of the constant stream of series, movies, and media, that I just straight up gave up. I don't keep up with newer releases. I am so, so done w stories that are half finished, that don't reach a conclusion, that just get barfed out, that I'd rather just wait n see. If a story is finished, I might get around to it, heck, might even enjoy it.

So seeing that ending... It felt a bit like a slap to the face. I thought I was going in to watch a full story, with a beginning, middle, and end.

Instead, I kept watching, that little thought at the back of my head bugging me...

"man, this has been going for a while... I wonder how they'll wrap it up-"

And... Well, there was my answer when the credits rolled.

Again, this might all just be me, it's very possible that my tastes have changed since ITSV. Which!!! It happens!!! People change!!!!

I might also be totes wrong. Maybe once the next movie is out and I can watch the trilogy in one sitting then I'll have that feeling of hype and energy I had after watching the first one. Maybe it'll be so fucking awesome that I'll just fucking explode in my seat and be awed for all eternity.

But.... Right now... I feel like i watched a half-finished movie... 😔

[take-everything-you-can]

Yours Or Mine

18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

A/N: So first let me just say it has been years since I've been inspired to write smut, but alas Eddie Munson has opened the floodgates. This will be the first installment of many to come as a sort of kink exploration series for Eddie and Reader. I just felt like the year anniversary of all of us loving this man would be the perfect time to post this!

I was so nervous to post this but I've had some amazing people in my corner. @astragreenwoode Thank you so much for everything that you do in editing my stories helping them flow effortlessly. I'm blessed to have you.

To the ever-so-lovely ladies @big-ope-vibes, @bimbobaggins69, and @munsonswife for beta reading and making me feel like posting this wasn't going to be the worst idea on the planet and letting me talk through my anxieties and slutty little Eddie thots.

also can't get over this amazing divider by @newlips

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem Reader ( Established relationship)

Word count: 3.9K

Tw: 18+ mdni (if you are underage gtfo this post .... seriously get lost) crude language, f receiving, m receiving, p in v sex unprotected ( pls use protection my people), subby switch if you squint, shower sex, needy Eddie I suppose, slight ball play, some soft dom Eddie

 

College ended up being harsher than you expected, but the full ride for the Cheerleading scholarship the school had given you was more than worth all the trouble you had to keep your grades up. You proudly proved to everyone that the whole ‘all cheerleaders are dumb’ stereotype was just that; an unfounded myth meant to diminish all those involved. After working your ass off throughout High School, you ended up picking one not too far from home. Having to care for your other six siblings alone was enough to drive your parents insane, so the fact that you were willing to make the commute made you an angel in their eyes.

Today ended up being especially exciting for two reasons; cheer practice would be held at your old high school, which also meant you were able to spend time with your beloved metalhead of a boyfriend. Your coach ended up dragging out practice to be longer and harsher than usual with seemingly endless drills and unnecessarily cruel critiques of your performance. It was a punishment for being late. 

Usually, that was something that would’ve set you off, but if you were being totally honest, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You welcomed it as a distraction for why exactly you came to practice so late. It was for a good reason, you swear; Eddie decided to take you on a ‘Side Quest,’ as he put it.

He took you on a small detour; pulling you into the nearest supply closet, out of the crowded hallway, and getting his hands on you as soon as possible. Almost as soon as he closed the door behind you, he used all his strength to pin you against the wood of the door. You giggled as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, leaving a torturously slow trail of pecks and nips up your jaw. He hungrily stopped at your lips, gently tugging your bottom lip with his teeth.

“Eddie. . .” you breathed out, trying your best to compose yourself as he dragged his hand from your cheek to the curve of your cleavage rising and falling with your heartbeat beneath your uniform. “We. . .we can’t do this right now, baby. I’m gonna be late. You’re gonna be late.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as the cold contrast of his rings on your bare cleavage made your body break out in goosebumps. His deep brown orbs started to darken as they threatened to pull you in and never let you go. As much as you wanted to just lean in and forget about the rest of the world outside this closet, you mustered all your strength to stop him from going forward. You giggled as you placed a hand on either side of his face, bringing his head up to make your lips touch.

“Later, Sweet Boy. I’ll still be here after practice, okay?” you whispered.

A small groan sounded from the back of Eddie’s throat; an incredibly needy sound as he pressed his forehead against yours. Even as he held onto you and batted his doe-like eyes to hypnotize you into staying, he didn’t go any further. He may be relentless, but he respects you.

“Ya promise?” he whined against your mouth.

You hummed in agreement, blindly dragging your hand around to find him as you hooked your pinkies together. He savored the kiss as long as you let him before you left the small room, wanting to imprint it in your minds to give both of you something to look forward to after you were finished with practice.

Around the time your team finished and made their way to the girl’s locker room, Eddie was fresh out of his latest session with the boys from Hellfire. You were the last one to take a shower as the other girls left, planning on meeting up with Eddie where he usually parked his van just like you did every Friday. But he had other plans today, ones that couldn’t wait any longer. As he watched the remaining members of Hellfire and the other members of your team leave the school parking lot, Eddie snuck back into the building to make sure you kept your earlier promise.

The Dungeon Master shamelessly walked into the girl’s locker room and his eyes locked on you as you were just peeling off the sweat-soaked cheer uniform. Every inch of you was flushed in tone; the bottom of your hair damp and your body was covered in a thin layer of sweat as you let your top fall to the floor. You let out a soft moan as you freed your sticky breasts from the confines of your bra. It was familiar to him; the same one he had thrown into the corner of your bedroom as he relentlessly took you to your peak just a few nights ago.

He debated on just staying there, watching you clean your body, but the twitch in his pants he got just from the sight of you told him otherwise. Eddie craved to get a taste of your salty, flushed skin before you had the chance to wipe yourself clean. He was never able to hold out from touching you for long, no matter how hard he had tried in the past. You were just as magnetic as the day he met you. What was it that people said? ‘Opposites Attract?’

Eddie leaned himself against the set of lockers closest to the showers, crossing his arms against his chest as he cleared his throat to capture your attention.

 You jumped in shock as you let out a quiet squeak. Instinctually, you used your arms to cover your chest as you turned around, not expecting anyone to be in here with you, especially not Eddie. But at the sight of him, you lowered your arms and sighed in relief but you rolled your eyes a bit. He was supposed to be cleaning out his van. He had told you it was trashed by the boys after a gig at The Hideout and said he would make sure the passenger side was clean before letting you ride in it this morning over the phone. He now stood before you, a gleam of awe in his eyes.

“See something you like, Munson?” you laughed out, turning so that you were innocently looking over your shoulder and gave him a little shake of your ass that made your cheer skirt follow.

The smirk on his face deepened and made his dimples stand more prominent on his face; it was a look he reserved just for you. He pushed himself off the lockers and slowly but surely made his way toward you.

“I sure do like what I see. But. . .you look like you could use a hand there, Sweetheart,” he purred, sticking his tongue out slightly between his teeth.

“Oh, really?” you teased, meandering your way over to meet him in the middle. He took your hand in his and allowed him to twirl you like you were waltzing, making the short little skirt that adorned your body send him into a trance. You watched his eyes size you up, trailing down from your head to your feet as you gripped the side of your skirt in frustration. How long was he going to take before holding you up on your promise?

“Yeah. . .what’s that old saying? ‘Reach out to lend a hand. . .not to bend the heart,’ or however the fuck it goes?” Eddie slithers his arms around your waist to pull your bare body flush against his clothed form, tilting his head as he gave your nose a small peck. He teasingly kissed either side of your mouth, before pulling you in to crash them against his.

“Fucking finally,” you thought to yourself; though, the heat in your belly only grew hotter now.

“Would you bend my heart, Eddie?” you whispered against his lips, almost as if telling him a secret.

“I wouldn’t dare, Princess. . .” he muttered back against you. As he made your heart flutter when his hands buried in the roots of your hair, Eddie twisted and turned your body around to bring your ass against his growing bulge. He pushed you against the shower's wall and made you arch your back, rough and gentle all at once.

“Now. . .bending you over, on the other hand. . .” he growled into your ear, sending a shiver straight down to your core as he lifted your skirt to reveal your pussy and ass practically swallowing your panties.

“That’s a whole ‘nother thing,” Eddie finished, giving your bare ass a tender slap that made you whine and jump.

The giggle that leaves you turns into a moan as he unwrapped his hand from your damp hair and tilted your head to mash his lips against yours once more. As he turns you around, the cold tile meets your back. Playing with the hem of his shirt before sliding your hand underneath it, you ghost over the trail of hair that led to the bulge in his pants now throbbing with desire. 

As you walk your fingers up his chest with a feather-light touch, you blindly trail over his tattoos engraved in your memory. You had spent many of your shared hours together tracing over the black lines etched into Eddie’s skin. On your laziest of days together, he used your body as a blank canvas to paint your skin a masterpiece of his own, purples and pinks staining your skin for days to come.

Smirking with mischief, you let your hand travel down to tease his cock by cupping him through his pants ever so slightly.

“. . .fuck,” Eddie stutters out, making you whine as he unlocks your lips. “I need to taste you... .now,” he spoke, his tone dangerously laced with need.

Eddie tugs you to sit on the small bench below the showerhead, lowering himself to his knees as he pulls your skirt and panties down. Gripping each thigh, he jerks you slightly forward to get a better angle before burying his face in between your legs. He kneads the soft meat of your thighs on either side, leaving small bruises in the shape of his fingertips and the tender marks of his teeth. Looking up at you with lust-blown eyes, he waits for your permission to continue, Once you give him the knowing nod of your head, he slows down as he notices just how drenched your pussy really is.

“Mmmm, such a pretty little pussy,” he mutters against you, torturously dragging his mouth everywhere but where you needed him to be.

“Tight, juicy, and all mine. Isn’t that right, baby?”

You gasp as you wait for him to touch you, frantically nodding. But that wasn’t enough; not for him.

“I’m sorry,” he laughs against the skin of your thigh. “I couldn’t hear you, Sweetheart. What did you just say?”

You simultaneously whined and groaned with frustration.

“Yes,” you gasped. “It’s yours, Eddie. It’s your pussy. Now, please, please just fuck me.”

“Such a desperate little slut. I’m right here, baby. ‘M not going anywhere. Not when I have such a tasty little snack on a silver platter right in front of me.”

You want nothing more at that moment than to tell him to shut the hell up and stop playing with his food. But before you can utter a word, he cuts you off by flattening his tongue against you. He licks up your arousal from the bottom of your opening to your clit, circling the bundle of nerves for a little while before wrapping his lips around it. You swear to God that Eddie’s trying to destroy you, to somehow devour your soul as he does the same to your pussy. Everything he does to you drives you crazy; severs your train of thought from its track. All that’s swirling around in your mind is Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

The sound of his tongue lapping up your slick and sliding through your folds coaxed a moan out of you that echoes off the tiled walls of the locker room. It feeds Eddie’s ego full as he moans against your soaking mound, the vibrations of his hums igniting the fire in you and sending the flames higher and higher. As your legs quiver at the intensity and the coil in your stomach starts to loom, he pushes his hands against your thighs to keep you from slipping off the bench and against the wall. You dig your hands into the roots of his dark curls, earning another hum of appreciation before detaching his lips from you to circle his tongue around your clit again.

Eddie looks up at you with a coy smile and hazy eyes, the mixture of your arousal and his spit dripping down his chin as he latches his mouth around you again. He effortlessly slides his finger in and out of you. The sinful slurping sounds that fill the air send waves of phantom pleasure washing over you. It felt something akin to a dream; déjà vu. You gasp as Eddie slips a second finger into you, the cool metal of his rings bumping against your entrance making your pussy flutter around him at the unexpected contrast.

“Shhiiitt, you’re takin’ my fingers so well, Sweetheart. Can’t wait to have that tight little pussy wrapped around me,” he purred against your clit as he curled his fingers against your sweet spot. He can tell by your breath and the way you tremble beneath his mouth that you’re about to snap. It encouraged him to frantically pick up the pace of his fingers and playfully shake his head back against your clit, bringing you over the edge and sending your body into pure bliss. 

Eddie wasted no time drinking up all that released from you, licking up every drop from between the lips of your pussy to where it was caked on the inside of your thighs. It was ambrosia on his tongue, salty sweat and musk mixed with his spit and your release. He was so glad he decided to stop you from showering when he did; you wouldn’t have ended up tasting nearly as good as you did now.

The fog from your mind started to clear as you come back down to earth again, Your breathing returned to normal again after Eddie lowered your thighs back onto his shoulders. He snuggles himself into the embrace of your legs, leaning his cheek into your palm that traveled down from his hair.

 "Well I'd say you definitely lent a helping hand, but now it's my turn pretty boy." He laughs as he brings his fingers to your mouth, pressing them past your teeth and letting them settle, as you suck your arousal off of him. Moaning through closed eyes basking in the reminder of how Eddie made you feel on top of the world, you were gonna return the favor. 

He had always adored when you would get that look in your eyes after making you cum. Your eyes would get a bit glassy and your lids would draw almost as if fighting sleep. No, you weren't fighting to sleep, you were just turning the cogs trying to figure out how you were going to please your man. You had turned the shower on to the hottest it would go, never reaching past a lukewarm. If Hawkins was one thing it was never efficient.

“ I don’t think it’s very fair that I have to be naked and you get to be fully clothed. I think we need to fix that.” he took a tendril of hair that had fallen into your face and tucked it behind your ear.

“Well if you still have the ability to think straight I don't think I've done my job right princess.”  He pulls the shirt from the nape of his neck up and over his head and tosses it towards the pile you had started on the tile floor. Before he can reach for them you are already lowering yourself to your knees as your hands unbutton his jeans and slip his zipper down slowly looking up at him through your lashes. 

“ Fuck me, man.” It comes out breathy and hitched as you tug his jeans and boxers to his ankles. Watching as his dick springs from the second tug down, smacking his stomach as his precum leaves a mess making your mouth water, a reflex making you bite down so hard on your bottom lip you swear you can taste the metallic trickle of blood. He kicks his pants to the side as he takes a seat on the bench you were on not long ago.

The tile was biting into your knees but you had been through worse trying to suck Eddie off, Skull Rock had a particularly awful patch of prickly trees that Eddie just loves to stand beneath. Looking up at him now he had nothing but love for you in those eyes. 

His breathing hitches as you lick the mess off his stomach, mixing it on your tongue as you let a glob of drool drop to the tip of his dick as you take your hand and rub it along his shaft. The size of him always had your thighs clenching. He was length and girth in all the right places. The thought of him filling you had your arousal dripping onto the tile below you. You lowered your head taking Eddie into your mouth swirling your tongue around his tip and across his slit as he clutched a fist into your hair as you began to bob up and down a perfect rhythm you had found he fell for. 

“ Holy shit, Baby, Just like that, yes fuuuck,  Just like that .” His head was leaned back against the wall, eyes closed as the water from the shower mist  hit his chest rolling down his flexed stomach, cooling the heat that was rising within him. You could see a small thank you on his lips as he held out his breath feeling you take him to his hilt and hearing the sound of your throat gag against him, the vibrations of the moan sending a shiver down his spine. 

You had slipped off of his length and licked down to the sack underneath, hands working along as you found your way. A small whimper from Eddie as you took one of his balls into your mouth and sucked along the skin feeling the weight of his need making you moan and Eddie's grip on your hair tightened. He pulled up off of him with a wet pop, his balls were extremely sensitive. A lesson you learned on a rainy day in May as your boardroom hit rock bottom and Eddie had looked like a god coming out of the shower. Letting the spit fall as your hands continuously worked their way up and down his length. 

“ Come on honey Please.” you let out a giggle, one that made him grip your hair hard,  pulling back until you were face to face with him.

 “ Who's desperate now?” Instead of words, you knew he would make you pay for laughing at his plea. Standing fast as he bent you over again just as he did when you first started this little act except this time he brutally slammed his cock straight into you. A whine ripped through you gasping for air around his moans. They were muffled against your skin bending with you as you found a grip on the wall in front of you as the water made everything around you slick. 

Once your hold was solid his grip on your hips let you know his pace was about to be fast and rough. Slamming into you over and over the sounds of his balls slapping against the arousal that was dripping from you and echoing off the walls. The dirty thoughts of how anyone could walk in at any moment to check and make sure that someone was not in any harm, and would instead find you a moaning mess, getting railed in the best way by the freak of Hawkins High. A freak he was indeed. You look at your wrist and see the light bruises he had left not long ago from some handcuffs and his headboard. This then led you to another thought of how he had used those handcuffs in the hideout one night after a long show, a night where he had promised to lock up for the owner but instead, he had you cuffed to a wall and set up on his amp as he played riffs through your orgasms. He had recorded some little tapes for himself. The breathless gruff in his voice brought you back to now. 

“ You in that pretty little head baby? You keep squeezing the fuck out of me with that tight pussy of yours. What's got, you so bot-thered baby? Come on we got all weekend to fuck those thoughts out. Just let go, baby, just let go. Come on sweet thing.“ 

You can feel him closing in on his climax. The hitch in his pace is a telltale sign. You moan and mewl under him pushing back with more pressure as your own climax begins to build and hit that high. 

“ No words hunny? Dick just that good hmm?” you nod as the coil snaps for the second time. Throwing your head back into his shoulder as you ride out your high.

“ Yes Eddie! God Yes! Always so good to me. Always. So. good. To. Me.” as you gush around him he thrust into you a few more times as the ropes of his pleasure begin to paint your walls. The grunts and moans of his release could make you come again just by the way he grips onto you, making sure that you are glued to him. Every single drop of him sealed within you.

He falls flush to you slipping out with a hiss and turns you in his arms as you both stand wrapped into each other's arms. He kisses your shoulder and the crook of your neck. You squish your face against the flat of his chest and the thick of his arm as you let your eyelids drift closed just reveling in the moment as the water washes over you both. He nudges your ear with his nose as you turn your face up to him he catches your lips in a hungry yet slow kiss, letting his forehead fall to yours.

 “ You know I love you, pretty girl. You know that right?” you hum a satisfied tune into his mouth as you kiss him softly.

 “ I love you more handsome.” he lets out a low laugh.

” Not possible .” bringing your face back to his chest. 

“ Yes possible .”  Then everything goes Dark. You can feel Eddie but you can’t see him. You conclude that a janitor had turned off the lights, thinking everyone had gone home for the night. Not the first time that it had happened and it would probably not be the last.  But thankfully Eddie being Eddie knew exactly how to get you out, another time he would save you, your hero. Your freak, Your love.

[trulybetty]

oct' 29 x stormy days

Prompt: stormy days Pairing: sequins!joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak au) Word Count: 1,857 Warnings: maybe mature themes, but there's nothing much than some heavy flirting? sequins joel comes with his own warning Summary: I hope you enjoy this sequins anon! thanks to @rhoorl for always being a partner in thots and helping out with this one! 🙌

x. masterlist

When you had first started dating Joel, you had been long distance at first. It had taken you by surprise as much as it had him. That Joel, whose last ‘real’ relationship had been with Sarah’s mother. Was willing to jump into not only a serious relationship after a string of one night stands, but one that required the coordination of two different time zones.

He was currently visiting you, since Sarah was with her mother for the next two weeks and a last minute cancellation of a job was a push from the universe to send Joel to your doorstep.

So there he was, watching you attempt to pocket the red ball into the far right corner hole.

“I thought you said you could play?” He said, hip rested against the table next to you.

The bar was on the way back home from where your original plans for the day had been due to take place, Hillsborough River State Park. Joel had been content, and insistent, to spend the entire week he had with you in bed. However you had been adamant the two of you needed some fresh air and to see the sun at least once, and a hike would be the perfect solution to this.

But the dark storm clouds that had rolled in put a damper on those plans, so as a compromise you both had agreed to head to the bar.

“I can,” you muttered as you tried to line yourself up, “just easier when you don’t have someone critiquing my game.”

“Darlin’,” Joel sided up next to you, caging you in and extending his arm down yours to point the cue stick at a different angle, “you might find it easier doing it this way.”

You huffed in annoyance.

Yet, feeling the warmth of Joel's body against yours. His strong hands guiding yours, adjusting the angle of the cue. His beard brushing against the side of your cheek.

It all sent a shiver down your spine and had you doubling your efforts to focus on the task at hand.

“Now, look down the cue, keep your eyes on the ball, and remember to follow through,” he whispered into your ear, his Texan drawl deep and husky, and very much Joel Miller.

You suppressed a smirk, recognizing the perfect opportunity. “Are you always this hands-on with your students, Miller?”

He quietly laughed, “Only the beautiful ones. Anyway I don't think I've heard you complain about my hands-on approach this week?”

Feeling his hot breath on your neck, you struggled to focus on the shot. But two could play at this game. Taking a deep breath, you leaned back into him, feeling the contours of his body pressed against yours.

“Are you trying to distract me from this little bet we have going darlin'?” he asked.

“Me? Intentionally distract you?” You gently nudged him with your hip to step away, “Never Miller.”

He gave you a shrug as he stepped back, a self-assured smirk on this face. However despite his hands on guidance, the cue ball missing the red ball you had aimed for with a wide curve.

“Shit.” you cursed under your breath, but Joel had heard you.

“Darlin',” Joel circled the pool table and lined up the cue ball, his eyes never leaving yours as he pocketed a striped ball, “I might be winning this wager after all.”

The wager.

When you’d walked in, seeing the pool table at the back, Joel had mentioned how he'd hung out at the pool halls in downtown Austin when he was younger, he and his brother trailing the bars on Friday nights. He’d also mentioned he was a pretty good player, but you had scoffed at this and said you could beat him.

You'd learned very quickly that Joel Miller didn't back down from a bet.

If you won?

The shelves he’d told you repeatedly that required far too much effort to make with little to no pay off for the project you had started in your kitchen? He'd make them. Then to double down the bet, you'd thrown in a trip to the flea market the next day to look for further decor for your kitchen.

If he won?

Joel Miller was not a complicated man, he wanted one full interrupted day in bed, just the two of you, naked.

Oh, and he also wanted your panties.

You had rolled your eyes at him at that last part, but agreed to the bet.

“You know,” you said, it was Joel's turn again, he was three balls ahead now, “maybe I might need a little more hands-on instruction. Show me the proper way to handle a cue stick.”

About to draw back his cue stick, Joel paused for a moment, before he chuckled lowly, “Are you sure you want to go there? You might not be ready for the lessons I have in mind.”

The way he spoke sent a jolt through you as he turned to look up at you. His eyes were dark, and he wore a smirk that made your breath catch in your throat.

You couldn't resist the opportunity to tease him a little more, “Oh, I think I can handle anything you have in mind, Miller.”

Joel raised an eyebrow, a look of amusement and something else flickering in his eyes. “Is that so?”

You nodded, unable to look away from him.

He stepped in closer, so close you could feel his breath on your lips and you licked them in anticipation. He angled his head as if to kiss you and your breath hitched in anticipation.

“Darlin',” his drawl making you weak at the knees, “do you really think this is how you're going to win this bet?”

With your back to the rest of the bar and with his free hand, the one that wasn't holding on to the pool cue, he traced the waistband of your leggings, his finger dipping in under the elastic where it rested under your belly button. He felt your intake of breath under his fingers before he heard it from you. The cocksure grin he had on his face told you that he not only knew the effect he had on you, but relished in it.

You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks, but you didn’t back away. Instead, you leaned slightly into him. “Now are you trying to fluster me, Miller?”

“Would I do that?” Joel’s voice was a husky whisper, his fingers lightly tracing the curve of your waist now. He took in his own deep breath as your lips ghosted his, “Maybe I just like the view from here.”

With a roll of your eyes you gave in and kissed his lips with an exasperated sigh.

“Anyway,” he continued as you stepped away to allow him to take his shot, “I think it's safe to say I've got this.”

You could only roll your eyes as he gave you a far too confident wink after pocketing another ball.

“Beginner’s luck,” he muttered under his breath as you sank another ball with ease.

But as the game continued, it became evident that this wasn’t just luck. Your technique was flawless, your movements around the table confident. Each time you leaned down to take a shot, there was a precision in your movement with the focus of someone who knew exactly what they were doing.

By the time you had cleared most of the balls off the table, leaving Joel with just a couple to work with, the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

He had been hustled.

“You played me,” he said, the faux accusation in his voice betrayed by the glint of amusement in his eyes.

You grinned, leaning against the pool table and taking a moment to enjoy your victory.

“You assumed. That’s on you.”

“Okay, where did you learn to play?”

You sunk your last ball with ease, “I have two older brothers Joel, old enough that they were tasked with babysitting me on weekends. They'd take me to the pool hall with them when they'd tell my mom they were taking me to the library. So, in order to keep my silence, they'd ply me with candy and allowed me to play.”

“Just when I think I've got you figured out,” he responded, leaning down to shoot one of the last three balls he had left even though the game was pretty much yours now.

When you finally pocketed the eight ball it was official, you raised your arms in triumph before wrapping them around Joel's neck.

“Better get ready with those power tools Miller.”

“You know how complicated it's going to be to make something so simple?” he grumbled, despite the half smile on his face.

“But it's going to look so good!” you insisted as you kissed his cheek.

Joel shook his head, “This better be the only project you've got lined up for me this week. I don't need any of your neighbours knocking on the door asking when I'm coming 'round to fix something of theirs again.”

“You order us some drinks, I'm just going to go use the bathroom,”

You returned from the bathroom, you scanned the bar for Joel, his broad shoulders and height making him easily stand out from the crowd.

Spotting him by the bar, you made your way over, making sure to brush past him just closely enough. He was too engrossed in a conversation with the bartender over the football game that was playing on the TV above to notice you discreetly slipping your hand into his jeans pocket before grabbing the two drinks he'd ordered.

“I got these cowboy, I'll find us a booth.”

But as he reached into his pocket for his wallet to pay the bartender, his fingers brushed against the soft fabric you had discreetly placed there. His eyes widened, his movements momentarily frozen as he pulled out your panties.

The bartender, obviously not privy to your bet, awkwardly cleared his throat. With flushed cheeks, Joel hastily shoved the panties back into his pocket, tipping the bartender generously.

Joining you at the booth you'd chosen, he slid in next to you, leaning in and whispering with a playful yet accusatory tone, “You play dirty,” he glared at you, but his eyes betrayed his amusement.

You took a sip of your drink, feigning innocence, your eyes glinting with mischief. “I have no idea what you're talking about.”

Joel smirked, “Oh, don't play coy with me,” he leaned closer, the low lighting of the bar casting shadows on his rugged features. “Now, what's the meaning of this little surprise?”

You leaned in as well, your lips close to his ear. “Consider it a consolation prize.”

He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly. “Is that so? You sure know how to keep things interesting.”

You pulled back, offering a cheeky smile, “You haven't seen anything yet Miller.”

Joel chuckled, a genuine wide smile on his lips as he took a sip from his drink. “You may have won our bet darlin', but you sure know how to make a man feel like he's won the jackpot.”

[brainrotdotorg]

Okay Alex, buckle up, I am several hours late but here is my SU DE thots. Please feel free to critique/add characters (i thought abour doing gems for Piss and Fuck but wanted to leave that to you if you so choose)

Harry - Idocrase, on back of right hand, egg shape cabochon

Kim - Peach Eosphorite, lower back, trillion cut

Jean - Kyanite,  left cheek, oval cabochon

Trant - Grey Spodumene, throat, octagon cut

Judit  - Lazulite, right shoulder, marquise cut

Dora - Yellow Brucite, forehead/third eye, octahedron (think like a D8 shape)

Harry/dora - Ludlamite

Harry/jean - Bornite

Harry/kim - Wavellite

Klassje - Cobaltite, third eye, sphere cabochon

Titus - Carnelian, chest, rough tumbled angular

Cunoesse - Cuprite, cheek, raw crystal

Cuno - Jasper, left eye, oblong triangular rose cut (think peridot in show shape)

Ruby - Scorodite (ruby felt too easy), upper back, irregular shaped cut

Garte - Nickeline, stomach, raw polished cabochon

Dolores - Rutilated Quartz, forehead, round cabochon

Evrart - Golden Zircon, left palm, princess cut

Lely - Larimar, right shoulder, vertical rectangle cabochon

Scab leader - Boleite, chest, raw chunk

Joyce - Magnesite, stomach, vertical oval

All of this is more so just the concept of gems as a living being rather than any of the plot of SU, so it's not gonna be like how certain gems have certain jobs, I mostly based it on their colors in game OR colors I associated with them and vibes from the gem

Harry's placement is representative of his relationship to the world around him. A nod to both his past cruelty as an RCM officer and his past kindness as a teacher and coach. As well as the fact that, at least what I see of Harry in the game, he tends to give all of himself into the things he does and what better way to symbolize it than to put the entirety of his being (his gem) on his hand. The egg shape is representative of his new beginnings and capacity to change because of the amnesia

I originally wanted to place it on Kims solar plexus chakra, so just under the ribs, to symbolize his sense of self and his confidence (at least in contrast to Harry). But I decided to change it to the root chakra, the base of his spine, to represent the stability he offers to Harry in the game, Kim is a source of balance to Harry during the case and Kim himself is very stable and even. But placing it on his back also represents his vulnerabilities and his weakness at the tribunal when trying to tend to Harrys leg he doesn't prioritize his own safety and turns his back to the danger

I chose his cheek because it felt right. Specifically Jean felt to me like a character where 'turn the other cheek' felt like a phrase fitting him, whether that be the semi implied past he's had of doing so to Harry, or the direct instance of him being unable/unwilling to turn the other cheek in the final tribunal for Harry's screw ups pre game.

Trant's is in the throat chakra spot because it represents communication and he talks a lot :)

Judit's is kinda representative of her attempt at distance from Harry in the whirling, trying to turn a cold shoulder to someone she's unfamiliar and uncomfortable with

Dora is the third eye chakra for representation on intellect and to be in the same place as Dolores' gem was

Klassje is also because of the chakra and the representation of intelligence and intuition, as well as to connect her with Dolores as she's another woman Harry semi idolizes

Titus is because, to me, the chest feels like a spot of strength and courage, and is a place he keeps covered when coming face to face with Harry, making it a representation of the defense he has around Harry and his desire to keep his community safe from the law

Dolores is because the forehead has always been representstive of inellect and knowledge, something she's said to have lots of, as well as most of human history associating the head with power and glory (think crowns to represent important figures) - HM anon

FUCK YESSSS all of this rules so hard i am internalizing it. thinking about harry rediscovering what his gem weapon is . thinking about the fusion capabilities. rubyklaasje "we just fused, nothing else happened." thinking about harry getting fucking poofed and then reforming.

the fact you even thought of the cuts is!! so cool to me!! god god god i love all these sm . making me think really hard about SU again and the interesting ways that imagining the people as gems could affect their dynamics.....

btw piss has an uncut citrine on his left thigh and fuck has an oval cut rubellite tourmaline on the back of his left hand : )) those r just my gut feelings

[onsunnyside]

here are some thots and ideas i had for the sugar daddy brawl. ofc you’re welcome to use or not use anything i throw your way. i just enjoy bouncing ideas off you!

an idea for andy. he was born into a political dynasty and likely stands to lose the most if the arrangement is exposed, as his career hinges heavily upon public opinion. he is the only married man in the bunch, but his marriage is a sexless stepford nightmare that only benefits his image. i have this image in my head of the reader rifling through laurie’s side of the closet in one of andy’s crisp button downs while he’s sprawled on the bed and she’s critiquing her fashion choices and trying on her clothes.

an idea for ransom. he was the reader's dealer, getting her and her rich friends high in the back of town cars on the way to the clubs. he’s renowned for his partying and womanizing and ofc being the heir to blood like wine publishing. bratvbrat is really the only other thing i have to say about ransom. the banter and bickering alone. chef's kiss.

an idea for ari. he is the eccentric and spontaneous type of rich. he’s the most likely to call you at 3am and tell you to get ready to board a plane in an hour because he wants steak in argentina. he thrives on adrenaline and vagabonding and could possibly be the most sexually adventurous. he made his fortune in wine and liquor. also, he’s d(ex)bf.

an idea for curtis. i see him working with his hands, so perhaps some sort of engineer?? having been the protege of one of the most wealthy and influential men in the business world, he now holds the titles of ceo and lead designer at wilford industries. he's a workaholic, so having a sugar baby is actually super convenient for him.

- bratty spice x

BRATTY SPICE LET ME KITH YOU ON YOUR PRETTY HEAD😚 I love all of these ideas and definitely wouldn't have thought of them myself, so thank you so much bestie !!

let's go sluts: this au has some dark elements !! (TW dark, drug use)

oki, so I've thought about it, and this au isn't dark (like CL) but maybe it has some soft dark elements with mean characters ?? I don't know if I'd label it with dark!Steve or dark!any other characters, but this is just a concept right now, nothing is set in stone yet, so we'll see where it ends up !!

Andy: I can totally see the sexless marriage, the tabloids about the posh and family friendly couple attending local school fairs, hosting charity balls and all that. omg after he fucks you in the bed he shares with his wife, perhaps some ✨drama✨ happens, and you purposefully leave one of your panties by her clothes. this goes two ways: either Laurie stays with Andy for their image and the money, bc it would tear both their reputations to bits, especially bc he's running for senator.

Ransom: BRATVBRAT YES !! god, the dealer part too😮‍💨😮‍💨 he's got the best of the best, top tier, 'you'll sell your entire life savings' for a taste. he's got that notoriety of fuelling every legendary party, even the higher-ups love him (aka some other government officials/people who definitely shouldn't be dabbling in his merchandise). even though he's a brat, I can see him being a brat tamer with you, "your daddy screwed over a lot of important people—some of my most loyal costumers too. tell me, sweetheart, who do you think is going to make up for the missing digits in my bank account?"

Ari: he's so filthy rich that time doesn't even matter, you have other plans? no you don't, not when he says you don't. probably the sweetest of the daddies and the most sexually adventurous, he makes it a point that you both are mile high club elites. he takes you on trips across the world and yachts, treating you all the time, flaunting you in front of his other friends/bitter exes who still call him up hoping to patch things up. Ari doesn't care about them, or the gossip, he just cares about his business and getting what he's rightfully owed, oh, and you ofc.

Curtis: mhm he worked his way up the ranks and now needs some sweet loving and someone to spend time/money on. he's lonely, a workaholic and constantly has someone ringing his cell, he just needs a break, a new change of pace. he's even a little cold at first, when you first came up to him for the 'arrangement,' he wasn't expecting something like that. he takes the most convincing of the daddies, that is until Andy Barber sends him a clip of you riding his cock, moaning about no one ever making you feel that good—and Curtis never backs down from a challenge.

[hunkpurveyor]

Under The Silver Lake (2018)

What a strange, irresistible film. Tangled in a web of the distance between paranoia and perception, the culture of reference spun out into the schizoid: what if an homage was a code? What if a code was a path to a godhood that isn't for you? In a way this is a film obsessed with women and how they move through the world, which manifests in both fascinating and torturous ways. Maybe more accurately it is a film obsessed with men's relationships with women.

(spoilers under the cut, movie thots on letterboxd)

It might be a mistake to try and puzzle out every little secret of the movie because it deliberately resists explication - we never make out what that parrot is saying. Part of its truth rests in the overwhelming feeling that there is another world just beyond ours, a world of the beautiful and rich that is somehow categorically other. Here Andrew Garfield touches it, but smells off, his presence there is not quite right. And yet his character is also a fantasy. A down-and-out that somehow skates across the surface of life, a nice flat, a nice car, friends with connections and money. I'm not exactly sure what kind of person he is supposed to be, he's a little too magically unemployed to be a working class figure. The movie is conscious of this but I'm not sure that consciousness serves any particular purpose. He is a fantasy creature in this fantasy world but that makes his psychic odyssey a little less compelling - he already drifts in tune with this other plane.

Revelation often comes hand in hand with nakedness in Under the Silver Lake - a psychosexual overtone to every discovery. But again I don't know if it results in much. The scene of Topher Grace complaining about internet surveillance culture rendering people paranoid while using a drone to video a topless, crying woman is an irony daubed with a heavy hand and yet the film doesn't have a direct enough critique of media's objectifying culture to make its own leering camera shots seem anything other than a replication of that culture.

The figure of the Dog Killer is deeply linked to how the film thinks about women. It is a terrifying spectre stalking LA, seemingly hunting Garfield at one point but never revealed - implied as a thing that even the elite cabal might fear. An avenging spirit, cutting through the dogs that presume their superiority to men. But through the film it is the women who bark, and they bark at Garfield. The opening shot puts him directly amid the vandal’s warning - “Beware the dog killer”, and why does he have dog biscuits in his pocket? His story shifts, unreliable across the film’s duration - a dog recently dead, a terrier biting him as a child, the dog of a girlfriend he misses desperately from back when his life was good. Dogs and women, dogs and women. When he dreams of the dog killer it is a person with a masculine face in Sarah’s clothes, feasting on the corpse of a man, turning to bark at him.

Garfield is mostly a gawking creep - it's a compelling performance - he can't connect with women despite how serendipitously he seems to stumble into their orbits. In his one moment of true openness, describing his nascent theories to his sort-of girlfriend he comes across as a maniac. And of course the girlfriend is an actress only ever arriving in costume, she like everything else is refracted through layers of mediation and symbol. The climax of the film shows up Garfield's inability to imagine Sarah's agency. Of course Sarah's choice is an influenced choice - strictured by circumstance and need but what choice isn't? Garfield too, is stuck in his disintegrating life, making the best of it.

C.f. Inherent Vice, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Notes: Submitted by dear Glossary Anon who for the record has NEVER BOTHERED ME EVER OKAY DO YOU HEAR ME also i hope your dinner was delicious but I JUST WANNA MAKE IT CLEAR I DID NOT WRITE THIS this was a submission, all credit to dear Glossary Anon okay proceed, read on

Submission: Some Thots on Gurney - Please open after work day is over, I do not intend to distract you ;)

I’d like to preface this by saying two things: I am not a writer, per se. I’ve never published anything. I am also hurriedly typing this out while making dinner so general coherency be damned.

PS: I’m so sorry I’m sending this is the middle of your work-day. I had to get this out and press send before I lost my mind completely! Please ignore as long as you’d like haha, no rush.

So, Gurney?

How do you meet him? Perhaps before the move to Arrakis, they actively began seeking out soldiers, warriors and other individuals with a good head on their shoulders - people who can maintain peace without House Atredies. Due to the urgency of the situation, maybe they start looking for soldiers from factions previously denied this position. They find you at a port, using your sharp mind to keep track of traders’ accounts - fattening the Duchy’s coffers. When you successfully sail through the tasks set out for you, beating out well trained men, and formulating complex battle plans - Gurney is told about you. He is surprised, and fascinated, and begins to keep an eye on you.

However, it soon becomes clear that your mind does not compensate for poor fighting skills. After all, what good are brains when a dumb hunk, twice your size, could easily kill you in battle? You needed training and needed it fast.

Your supervisor makes it a point to pair you with Gurney himself, as if to drive home the importance of learning how to fight well (and what better way than to be trained by one of the best fighters in the known universe?)

You meet him for sessions regularly, several hours each day. He is a harsh man, and a harsher fighter, and initially you almost begin to think he despises you: your low born status, your lack of basic training, your utter disdain for politics. But you are not one to back down either. You’d become better than any of his expectations if only to have the pleasure of proving him wrong.

You begin training alone each morning, carefully cataloguing his critique during your training and honing your skills at dawn, before the day begins. Almost immediately, Gurney notices a marked improvement in your skills. He initially chalks it up to his own teaching but when you execute a particular maneuver that is far beyond his own imagination, he realises someone else must be teaching you.

But then again, you hung out with Duncan all the time (a small flare of heated feeling arising within him, a feeling that he does not name). Maybe he was teaching you then. So he notices your interactions with him carefully, and once he concludes that there is nothing beyond mere camaraderie, he is even more confused.

One morning, he wakes up at the crack of dawn - the constant patter of rain on his windows rendering him unable to sleep. He gets up and heads straight to the training room, eager to burn off some energy before the day begins. He hears the sharp clack of a sword hitting the ground and increases his pace, utterly confused as to who was training in the commons so early in the morning. He moves stealthily and therefore, he freely observes you for several moments before you even notice his presence.

You see, in his assessment of your skills, he neglected a crucial component of your personality: your ability to work alone and get better on your own. While he held no qualms about the standard of his own teaching (he did teach the Atreides heir after all), he pushed his own training onto you without taking into account your specific needs. You had survived for years on your own, making your way across the planet and surviving with just your wits on hand, and he’s mildly disappointed in himself for missing this.

(But that would have required actually talking to you and he never did, ignoring your feeble attempts to talk as friends in favour of training)

When you realise he’s watching, you hesitate at first. He’s always been a closed book, his thoughts and opinions hidden behind a scowl and a thin veneer of irritation. But you keep going, you have gotten better, and if he really cares about your training like he says he does, he won’t stop you from improving however you want.

“Is this what you’ve been doing for the past ten weeks?”

You nod. “Every morning.”

He looks at you closely now, and he can see the fight in your eyes - the ambition that is reflected in his own. He’s underestimated you then.

“Good.”

He picks up his own weapons and stands in front of you.

“Attack me.”

You eye him warily, still unsure of his motives.

“We’ve been focusing on defense all this time. We’ll do offense now.”

You attack him, and he blocks every single one of your blows with ease. You start to get desperate, you have to prove to him that you’re good at this, before you land a particularly large thrust on his chest that would’ve killed him in battle.

He looks at you, a mixture of shock and pride in his face. A small smile gracing his features.

And oh, that smile. You’d do anything to see it again.

And on it goes. You train with him informally each morning and train with other cadets during the rest of the day. You continue to outperform everyone in intellect and soon begin to catch up in physical training as well. When news of the new batch of cadets reaches the Duke, he stops in on a late afternoon training session.

He observes you carefully, and he makes up his mind. Later, when meeting Gurney, he expresses his desire to take you with him to Arrakis. He’s aware that they won’t be welcomed and they need every advantage they could possibly have. He asks if you could be trusted, he needs people who has his back and he trusts Gurney’s judgement.

Gurney tells you this the next morning, in between fighting. You stop, and stare at him for a moment.

“Arrakis?”

“Yes. You impressed the Duke more than either of us expected”.

And that still somehow stings, that Gurney thought that you wouldn’t be able to impress the Duke.

“Oh? Doesn’t the Duke expect the best from his men?”

Gurney eyes you for a long time, before gently extricating your weapons from your hands and steps closer.

“Yes. But you aren’t a man, are you?”

(a fact that he is uncomfortably reminded of each time you fight, his desire sparking at the show of your competence)

What happens next? You move to Arrakis, but you continue training with him as far as feasibly possible. Soon, it isn’t unusual to hear the two of you going at it each morning, the sounds of your joined swords echoing throughout the palace. The Duke looks on you one morning, and seeing the sheer rage on your face as Gurney keeps blocking your blows, he chuckles to himself and mutters, “I’ll leave you two alone then.”

Your pairing later becomes the stuff of legend, brutal fighters in your own right but with each other? You’re nearly invincible - your mind rapidly calculating each feasible possibility while Gurney acts on them.

–

But. How does Gurney profess his feelings? Well Dany, my chicken is almost cooked and now I’m going to eat dinner. Maybe tomorrow’s installment then?

I love you, and I truly apologise for annoying you so much over the past few weeks. Mwuah!! 

Gurney/Suckerberg/Glossary Anon (🧔) - due to our unfortunate love for all bearded men.

[dannyphantom-rewrite]

Danny phantom characters as shit my friends have said bc I'm bored and procrastinating:

DANNY: *An anguished screech of "FUCk!" Heard in the exact same moment the power goes out. *

JACK: "stains of dubious origin on the walls? MAGIC ERASER!!"

Danny, @ Vlad: "YOU'RE the old one and IM the short one! this is a SOCIETY!"

Jazz: "I have a resting constantly-worried-about- everything face"

Paulina, probably: "I'm not a positive thot, I'm a NEGATIVE thot"

Fucking Freak-show bc who else: "Cirque de Solei but with diahrrea"

Mr lancer: oh what flavor is that?

Danny: Mr lancer that's hand sanitizer??

Tucker: danny im making bunkbeds

Danny: oh so im putting my minecraft bed next to yours yea?

Tucker: no im putting your minecraft bed on top of mine

Dannny: oh so im topping?

tucker: *leaves the game*

Sam: "I'm not mimicking a goth, goths are mimicking me"

Vlad: "Good morning God has let me live another day and I'm about to make it everybody else's problem"

Tucker: "never underestimate the power of a furry with too much free time"

Danny @ Vlad: "beating your ass is my hyperfixation and brother? im about to start info dumping"

Mr lancer: "you have to suspend judgement when you analyze and critique things, but sometimes your first judgement is right like you can hear someone talk and be like "oh you're a white supremacist" and youre right-"

VLAD: "what's it gonna do? give me rabies? i welcome that!"

Danny: "So I was wondering why you hear so many stories in Europe about vampires, but not in Africa. It's because vampires are killed by Holy water. ... They bless the rains down in Africa.

Sam, @ paulina: "you're giving me hives im allergic to your bullshit"

Sam: "I have read twilight. I got through about 50 pages before I threw the damn thing across the room and vowed to never allow Stephanie Myer a moment of piece in her life."

Mr lancer: "you know who god fears? the teachers union"

Dash @ Tucker: "and what're you gonna do about it you knitting fuck?"

Tucker: "Shut the hell up I'll crochet you a body bag"

Danny @ Vlad: "top 30 anime deaths: nuMBER ONE YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW"

Danny: "I have dumb bitch disease and the main symptom is lack of impulse control"

Also Danny: my impulse control died out with my last brain cell

Vlad: "im a piece of shit but im very charming"

Danny: I need an adult

Vlad: I am an adult

Danny: I need a BETTER adult

Danny: "Concept: someone punches you in the stomach, you hear a crack and you start pissing glowstick fluid"

Sam: I just want to sleep and fight the patriarchy

[illogicallyinclined]

"roman will also find a song that’s just a little slutty and use it as an excuse to Dance All Up On His Boys" Holy Shit. please /someone/ elaborate on this. What are his go-to songs? Does he have a preferred Boy order? (Does he practice at home?) How much sputtering does he do upon sobering up and seeing the footage? (How much Gay Panic does everyone else experience?) Does Remy critique his choreography? Does Remus? Just, drunk and loopy captain!Roman aggressively flirting is friggin GOLD.

love me one (1) Disaster Captain

okay, so this is a response to a post from a billion years ago, which i am – once again – incredibly sorry for. but i am Tired, Wired, and completely Inspired, so let’s get into it

warnings: suggestive dancing (Roman being a THOT), alcohol/inebriation

Roman does, in fact, have a preferred boy order. he tends to go from Easiest to Fluster to Hardest (Patton, Virgil, Logan), because his team continues to provide him alcohol between boys, and the drunker he is, the better he performs

(he’ll dance on other teammates occasionally – Remy, or Payton, or Jared, because he loves the way that they cheer him on – but these three are the Grand Prize. the ones that he actually wants to woo. you know how it is)

his go-to songs can vary. sometimes, he likes a little “Peacock” by Katy Perry. other times, he’s vibing with some Shakira (in Spanish, naturally). if he’s feeling particularly bold or really feels like teasing Patton, he might request “S&M” from  Rihanna. it’s anyone’s guess. 

Patton is, in fact, easily flustered. Remus saying the word “butthole” makes him balk, so having Roman (attempting to) twerk against his lap is absolutely something that sets his Gay Panic Alarm a-ringing, especially since he’s had a crush on the captain since he first joined the Aces. i’m talking red face, burning ears. hands over his eyes, peeking through his fingers – (it would be rude to look away entirely when this performance is specifically for him, wouldn’t it?)

Virgil’s a bit tougher. he scoffs and complains, but he’s a pale, Gothic Nightmare Boy, so he can’t quite hide the way that he starts to blush whenever Roman sends him a particularly sultry wink or shimmies Just So. Virgil won’t realize that he’s actually romantically compatible with Roman until a long, long time has passed, but he’s gotta admit that the captain has got it Going On. (i mean, he’s ace, sure, but also he Has Eyes. and Princey? he looks good.)

now, Logan? Logan is absolutely unbreakable. Roman gives his all – grinds and throws his head back and Moves Those Hips – and although Logan humors him, placidly allowing Roman to guide his own hands to the captain’s waist, he never seems to react the way that Virgil or Patton do.

(Roman won’t realize it until much later, but a large part of this has to do with 1) Logan’s perception of himself, and 2) Logan’s general control over his own emotions. Logan figures that Roman’s just singling him out to get a rise out of him and, as such, it’s easy to play along without getting too invested. he never once imagined that it could be because Roman actually liked him. moreover, emotions were never a thing that he could freely express, nor were they something that he wanted to express, so. he’s typically pretty stoic, save for the occasional outburst over jam or puns)

Remy rates each performance and gives pointers. Roman does Not remember them, because he is Drunk and because he knows what he’s doing, he doesn’t need your advice (but also Remy Please Teach Me How to Twerk)

someone inevitably gets video – Jared. Camden. Talyn, occasionally – and when Roman sees it, he’s just,,, *muffled screaming from the Aces locker room*

he takes after Coach Thomas, honestly. (he’s a disaster, someone please help him)

[barbarasbae]

Even in Hawkins-Permission

Part three of Even in Hawkins 

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader, Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader,                    Steve Harrington x Billy Hargrove

Word Count: 1.6k

 Warnings: Implied smut, making out, 18+ please 

Y/n was well aware she had let the drugs and the punch get the best of her at the party, embarrassed. She felt like Billy deserved to be thanked. She went up to him in the parking lot after school, the alpha waiting for his little sister as he lit another cigarette. “Hey.” He smirked. She got close and kissed him on the cheek, taking a large step back after. “Thanks for helping me on Saturday. I couldn’t think straight like that. It was awful.” 

“Any time sweetheart.” He winked, a tint coming to her cheeks. He liked that. It meant he was making progress. Billy noticed as time went on that the two omegas were getting bolder...more couple-y. He observed them reaching for one another’s hands more frequently. Steve was getting more confident about it, even wrapping his arms around her occasionally. 

“Steve?” 

“Hm?” 

“Wanna see a movie on Saturday?”

“God yes.” She giggled, giving him her applesauce. His parents were surprisingly home that weekend, Steve getting real sick of dealing with his dad constant reprimanding, his mom wine drunk and telling him he needed to find an alpha soon so she could start spoiling grandbabies. Steve just nodded or rolled his eyes, practically flying out the door at the sight of Y/n’s car in his driveway. He threw his arms around her when she got out of the car. “Thank god. It’s almost worse when they’re home.” She frowned, rubbing his back. “Steven! Get off of her!” His mom called, standing in the front doorway. She kissed his cheek, Steve smiling at the weird grunt his mom. They giggled and got in the car, Y/n driving off. Steve and Y/n shared a popcorn, not really paying attention to whatever they were supposed to be watching (some kind of horror movie. maybe) in favor of making out. The theater was pretty much empty, the pair thankful it was just betas and then one bonded alpha/omega pair, meaning they probably wouldn’t get harrassed by someone thinking they were hot or an abomination. “Steve, not so hard.” She hissed, Steve having nipped her bottom lip pretty hard. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” They left the movie a little worse for wear, lips swollen, lip gloss smeared on both of them, Y/n laughing and trying to help Steve when they got to the light. “I think you might just need to fix it yourself.” They did a quick pit stop to look like they hadn’t just been making out for the last two hours. Y/n took the backroads home, spotting a familiar blue car about three miles out of town. She slowed to a stop, seeing the hood open, Billy looking into it. “You need help?” He looked up, seeing his favorite couple staring at him. “No.” She shrugged and took a little detour, finding a mechanic and telling them where Billy was. She followed just in case. He was still struggling when they got back. “Do you like him?” Steve asked, suddenly worried. He wasn’t an alpha. What if she left him, just like Nancy? Was he not enough? Was he not smart enough? Big enough? Man enough? “I’m just being nice.” Her voice pulled him out of the spiral of thoughts. “I...tolerate him. Maybe even like him like this much.” She held up her hand, her pointer finger and thumb practically touching. “It’s just ‘cause he was nice to me when I needed it, Steve.” She leaned over and kissed Steve’s nose, interlocking her fingers with his. He has to admit he loved when she was super physical with him, soothing him a little. “You sure you don’t need that ride, amigo?” He huffed and got in her back seat, Y/n and Steve driving a silent Billy to the mechanic’s shop. Steve was pouting in the front seat, Y/n trying to ignore him. They sat with Billy, playing black jack while they waited. “I wanna deal this time.” Steve begged, Billy rolling his eyes and pushing the stack of cards over to him. “You’re a priss, you know that Harrington?” Steve didn’t say anything to them, grumbling under his breath, Y/n laughing when she caught ‘at least I can get an omega to suck my dick.’ Billy won most of the rounds, Y/n’s cards almost perfect whenever she won, basically just watching Billy take on a good five cards before they showed their cards. “Hargrove?” Billy got up and took care of his car. “You wanna go get dinner?” Y/n asked Billy, holding Steve’s hand tightly. “Sure.”

They all met up at what used to be Benny’s diner. “So why were you out that far from town?”

“Had a date.” She nodded, turning her attention to Steve. Billy felt like an intruder to the soft spoken and probably tender hearted conversation they were having. She kissed his cheek, Steve wrapping an arm around her and pulling her closer. She dropped her head on his shoulder. “So I assume you two are a couple.” Steve nodded. He whispered something to Y/n, whose face tinted slightly before nodding. “My house is empty for the night. Wanna get this stuff to go?” The boys agreed, Y/n leading the way, Billy following a little too close for comfort. It was late at this point, most of the neighborhoods lights off. Steve sipped on his milkshake while she unlocked the door, not liking how close behind her the alpha was. They sat around the kitchen table, Y/n snorting when Steve relayed what he and Dustin had talked about at three in the morning that day. “That’s terrible advice Steve.” He looked confused. “How are girls supposed to know you’re interested when you act like you don’t care about them? I bet it works with most alphas, but in general, doesn’t make sense.” She critiqued. “Well it worked on you didn’t it?” 

“I don’t think that counts.” Billy had been quiet the entire time, taking their dynamic. She was more submissive than he’d ever seen her, Billy taking pride in the realization that he got under her skin all the time. She seemed to take the lead with Steve, especially in Billy’s presence, but was clearly unsure of herself, hesitant with certain touches. Billy wondered as she fed Steve a fry if she’d be submissive to him. He got up, picking up his plate, her jumping up to take it immediately. “Do you need something to drink?” She asked Steve, who shook his head. She took plates to the kitchen, the boys moving a little closer as she got up. 

“So how did you get another omega to date you, pretty boy?” He pinked at the nickname like always. He shrugged. “We just kept hanging out and then one day we were making out on my couch.” The blond nodded, twisting one of his rings. “What was up with you at practice today, man? You seemed...unfocused.” Steve bristled a little and Billy knew the reason practice had gone the way it did was because he was making as much contact with Steve as often as he could. The omega had tripped over his own feet when Billy’s hand ‘accidentally’ grazed his thigh. “You weren’t any help.” Steve was right. Billy had also been shit at practiced, more focused on getting to the omega than he was actually getting practice in. Y/n came back to their faces a few inches from each other, a certain look on Steve’s face. She came to stand behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Do it.” She told him in a whisper. “Really?” He whipped his head up to look at her, her nodding. “I’m right here if you need something.” She promised. “Just make sure you take my comforter off my bed I don’t know how to get slick off of that.” She kissed his cheek and went to the couch, turning on the tv. She heard thudding footsteps as the boys tripped over themselves to get up stairs, Y/n later finding a boot on one of the steps when she went to get water. She sat on the couch, finding cheers, the added noise of her headboard tapping the wall upstairs making her smile. About an hour and a half later, pink faced Steve came down the stairs, his shirt backwards, only wearing one sock, shoes in hand. “Hey Billy’s gonna take me home.” 

“Okay. Honey your shirts on backwards.” She chuckled, Billy coming down the stairs as she helped him fix it. “Good night.” She kissed Steve, him kissing her nose. Billy found his other boot and walked into the kitchen where she was washing out a mug. He found her waist, setting her down on the counter a foot away from the sink. “I didn’t get any time with you, sweetheart.” He purred, one hand gripping her thigh, the other holding her close to him. He smirked at the heat that rose to her skin, lips going under her chin to her throat, sucking gently. She gripped his shoulders, her legs wrapping around him before she could stop herself. He nipped, her moaning softly. “S-stop.” She protested softly, hands going to his hair. She tugged, Billy groaning into her neck. “Please get off.” She whined,  pushing his shoulders gently. He stopped, looking at her curiously. “Another time.” She said meekly, not knowing if Steve was okay with this. He kissed her, her kissing back for a moment before pushing him all the way off. “Bye.” She said softly after he helped her off the counter. Billy watched her straighten her clothes, following out of the kitchen. “Don’t have too much fun.” She teased Steve, knowing one of the boys wasn’t actually going home tonight. He nodded. Y/n watched Billy guide  Steve out the door, hand firmly planted on his ass. Steve was going to have a lot to tell her about in the morning.

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[sincerelyyrs]

Velvet Buzzsaw ? Thots ?

ok GET READY cos im about to go offto start, i was really into the concept of this movie. demonic paintings ? vengeful creations ? i eat that shit up with a spoon. and i was really excited because the trailer really hyped it up for me !! i was like “damn they’re really getting to something here !!” and you know i’d do most anything for jake gyllenhall.but i watched the movie…… and i was disappointed !

so first of all i would have liked the movie better if i knew more about art and how art critique and galleries function. like, i guess what i’m trying to get at is that i wasn’t as enthused by the concept because i didn’t get it. and writing a movie on such an obscure topic (to me, anyway, idk about y'all) should include a little more background, or more usage of layperson’s terms, or more to see, like who sees these critiques that morf (tee hee) was writing (besides the artists)second, the gore and whatnot was good, but sometimes…. it didn’t make sense to me. the hauntings and the deaths seemed so far removed from the art itself. i found myself not scared of the paintings and what they represent, but of the other pieces in the museum that had no prior relationship to the art itself. like i GET IT, each character’s death was symbolic in specific ways, but the fact that only two (maybe only the maintenance guy) of the six characters that died, died by the direct hand of the paintings/the demonic art was not very compelling for me ! so, i wasn’t scared of the art ! which i thought was the point, but correct me if i’m wrongthird, it was just. kinda boring. which ties the first two points together. there wasn’t one single moment where i thought i was going to be scared.i felt like the horror was very contained within the movie and didn’t make very much sense.

also….. the title didn’t play a very big role in the overall plot. was kinda disappointed by that

tldr, i was disappointed, and i wish it was better.

[sneek-m]

Listening 2017: June 6–15

The last entry brought older albums to the queue, and this one has even more. Though it put me pretty behind on new releases, I’m glad I’m more eager to turn to older records because I’m the worst when it comes to listening to albums made before the ’90s. I cover four of them here, which for me is a good amount than usual.

Here’s what caught my ear these couple weeks:

Sing Sing Death House

The Distillers Hellcat, 2002

Only a year sets apart Sing Sing Death House from Coral Fang, the punk band’s second and third release, respectively, out of their three-album run. The completeness of the latter compared to the former, though, astonishes me. Such a result most likely has to do with Coral Fang being a release on a major label, where an ability to write songs with a sharp sense of form and structure is a given as much as it is a sign of artistic growth. Sing Sing Death House, meanwhile, is a tight release in its own way. While Brody Dalle here may care less about providing full songs than a hook to shout, she still hands in a succinct half-hour rundown of the most gut-punching punk bursts. They’re proudly messy, which makes me curious to how they were received when they decided to clean up their act.

[7]

Conspiracy

Junior M.A.F.I.A. Undeas/Big Beat, 1995

How two legit hits can come out of a band of amateurs trying on the suits of their New York gangsta-rap heroes only speaks to the business mind of Christopher Wallace, who I assume learned a thing or two working with Sean Combs: that notorious scene of Puff Daddy pushing a Mtume-sampling record as the single to hardcore rapper Biggie’s debut comes to mind. Because most, if not all of the appeal behind both “Player’s Anthem” and “Get Money” — especially the latter’s — is the hook, not to mention its rather flashy loops. Same goes for the third, the Faith Evans-assisted “I Need You Tonight.” Rapping for rapping sake takes them only so far.

The rappers involved do fine world building that lives up to its title of Conspiracy with raps covering paranoia and double-crossing, Biggie’s favorite themes. But again, it’s the things extraneous from the actual rapping that make the non-singles to be more memorable. Straight-up rap track “Realms of Junior M.A.F.I.A.” shines less from the lyrics than the trusted sample of ESG’s “UFO.” “White Chalk” is a rather peculiar one with its stylistic focus nearing horrorcore, evoking more of Southern acts of the time. When they commit squarely to their mafioso role, it sounds exactly like a product by a gang of lesser goons under their bosses wing.

[6]

Possibility / Bitter and Sweet

Akina Nakamori Reprise, 1984; 1985

Per recommendation, Akina Nakamori’s Best I and II served as a fine introduction to the Japanese ’80s pop royalty. A definite shift in the singer can be heard from the first to the second compilation, her work from 1986 to 1988; four years after her first single, her voice has finally grown to that of a proper ballad powerhouse. But even in Best I, her hits from 1982 to 1985, you can pick up a gradual growth by the way her voice pairs with more flamboyant accents.

I’m in no way an expert to Nakamori’s work, but personally, I pin the point in time in which she began to hit her stride around 1984 and 1985 with, respectively, Possibility and Bitter and Sweet. She sounds more comfortable to swing her voice around in both. While she showcases just how she can deliver in traditional modes through a series of ballads in the former, she tries on more playful get-ups in the latter; Bitter and Sweet works more contemporary pop productions with drum machines, funk bass lines, starry synths and such. Her 1985 record worked much better for me especially because I’ve gone to associate Nakamori as a diva figure, and the glamorous sounds from that album befits that title.

[6] / [7]

The Pleasure Principle / Freedom of Choice

Gary Numan / Devo Beggars Banquet, 1979; Warner Bros., 1980

I don’t know what this says about me during these trying times, but I’ve lately grown a strong fondness for pop exploring humanness — and more so the lack thereof. For others, both Numan and Devo’s work in these albums perhaps feel too disconnected, but the impersonal mode these records assume from the deliberate machine-like rendering of pop is the very voice they strive to hit upon.

The deconstruction of their beloved formats — more singer-songwriter pop for Numan while Devo takes apart the romanticism of rock ’n’ roll — show admiration for the form as well as an eye to critique, mainly what pop tells us (sells us?) about our source of pleasure. And though the present-day has countless improved tools and smoother techniques to get a similar point across, the limitation of the available technology of their era brings an inimitable voice to the records. These prototypes of the man-machine hit a more poignant note than the later versions they inspire.

[8] / [7]

Payface

Payroll Giovanni & Helluv no label, 2017

Hundreds of rap albums have sold us the cool of a Scarface poster on a bedroom wall. When it comes down to it, though, pretending to be Tony Montana on a record is still kind of a geeky form of play, isn’t it? I thought this while Payroll Giovanni referenced DC Comics superheroes in his song about neighborhood heroes, which during this time full of comic-book movies hits me extra nerdy. While his icon instead rocks chains while in the drug trade, he drives a coupe which he likens to a Batmobile — sleek and extravagant of a metaphor, sure, but a bit kitsch. (“Fuck a Wonder Woman,” if you also want a diss that’s timely.) Payroll also re-works Montell Jordan’s eternal ’90s anthem to fit his drug business in Detroit so it reads, yes, “This Is How We Move It.” These underlining cheesiness about the day in the life of pusher, told otherwise with a brute composure tailored for a gangsta rapper, just about sums up this tape, I think.

[5]

Z

Zone Sony, 2002

Zone apparently once got stuck with the crude category “ban-dol” because the public could not decide whether the four piece is an idol group or a band. Had they stuck with the exuberant mode of their major-label debut “Good Day” for their debut album, the latter would befit them a lot better. But the power-pop hit was a one off for Z — personally a bit disappointed because it drew me to this album expecting more. They instead stick closer to the earnestness of “Secret Base ~Kimi ga Kureta Mono~,” a staple ballad out of the group’s catalog still to this day.

The album’s sappy mood also calls to mind the dozens of other solo J-pop singer-songwriters who later in the mid-2000s got popular by selling wholesomeness and sentimentality — many of them, acoustic clad. Perhaps it’s a trend, at the very least a micro one? It’s a curious observation I’d investigate further, but even for a sentimentalist like myself, the catalog of some of those artists can be dour to get through.

[6]

Others albums that caught my interest…

Agent Bla: Agent Bla

Bleachers: Gone Now

Chief Keef: Thot Breaker

Day6: Sunrise

Gang Parade: Barely Last

Haruomi Hosono: S-F-X

Mondo Grosso: Nando demo Atarashiku Umareru

Mozzy & Gunplay: Dreadlocks & Headshots

My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade

Ryuichi Sakamoto: Beauty

Sayonara Ponytail: Yume Miru Wakusei

Sugababes: Angels with Dirty Faces

Sister Sledge: We Are Family

T-ARA: What’s My Name?

[wineanddinosaur]

Uproxx, Brewbound, and the Internet Gaze on Women in Beer

In July 2019, pop culture website Uproxx published a list touting the best beer influencers on Instagram. The 12 individuals included bloggers, brewers, and photographers, and 10 of them happened to be women.

In a now-infamous episode of the Brewbound Podcast, former editor Chris Furnari derided these women. In a transcript of the episode, Furnari names the first two Instagrammers, who are male; then, he says, the list “goes to s*** and it’s all chicks who basically take photos of themselves in like low-cut tops with beer.” He refers to the women as “girls in tight clothing and bathing suits,” and their beer-focused Instagrams as “ones where we’re just looking at chicks.” This portion of the podcast has since been deleted.

Following the incident, Furnari made multiple public apologies, writing, “I unfairly stereotyped and made generalizations about a group of individuals who have clearly earned the right to be recognized.” He continues, “The comments I made were out of line and demonstrated a complete lapse in judgment.” His words proved to be insufficient, however. On July 25, 2019, Forbes.com announced Furnari left his position at Brewbound, an award-winning beer news website where he served as editor for more than eight years. It is unclear whether he resigned or was terminated.

For the record, the women Furnari referred to are Bella (@onehoppylady), a food and beverage photographer who did not share her surname at press time; Caitlin Johnson (@bigwrldsmallgrl), blogger and content manager; Heather Lewis (@beerbitty), blogger and former operations projects director at Brooklyn Brewery; and Megan Stone (@isbeeracarb), brewer at DuClaw Brewing Co. Some of their photos indeed include plunging necklines and bikinis, but there is diversity among their profiles. Stone (@isbeeracarb), for example, shares her beer-focused travel adventures and collaborations with other brewers; and Lewis (@beerbitty) posts about life experiences through the glass of memorable beers.

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So I had the pleasure of interviewing THE Sam Calagione of @dogfishhead at work recently!! I tried very hard not to fan girl over the legend I’ve been reading about for at least a decade, but I think a ton of my co-workers fan girl/fan boyed quite a bit when he came into the office. And I couldn’t resist getting a selfie 😅💁🏻‍♀️ What a fun guy! Super grateful that he made time in his schedule for this interview during his trip to NYC! We’re so proud to be distributing Dogfish Head at @unionbeerdist 🍻🍻 Head over to the @unionbeerdist IG and click on their link in bio to read the full interview!! And give them a follow too! ☺️🍻🤩

A post shared by Bella (@onehoppylady) on Feb 4, 2019 at 5:04pm PST

Furnari’s comments sparked fast and furious responses from men and women in the industry, many of whom are avid readers of Brewbound, fans of the slandered Instagrammers, or both. His departure caused even more controversy.

“Calling BS on this,” New Belgium spokesperson Jesse Claeys tweeted on July 25, 2019. “Furnari has always been a pro and a strong advocate for craft beer. Taking female beer/boob Instagram ‘influencers’ to task for essentially returning to misogynistic 70s era beer marketing is not a fireable offense.” (Update 8/12/19: New Belgium’s PR department requested VinePair clarify Claeys made this comment personally, not in his capacity as a spokesperson for the brand. His Twitter account has since been deleted.)

Beer writer and broadcast journalist Tara Nurin noted how easy it is to say something “stupid” on air in a Forbes.com piece, writing, “I feel the hosts were actually speaking up for women by chastising those whose personal branding suggests that their chests are more important than their faces and that their bodies speak louder than their minds… We still have a double standard but now it’s women who are commercializing themselves and trying to silence the men who give their opinions about it.”

Others argue these women deserve the same reverence and respect as Furnari or any beer professional. “I’m tired of women having to prove themselves as beer drinkers,” Melis, a.k.a. @thegirlwithbeer, who was also included in the list and prefers not to share her surname for safety reasons, wrote on her feed. Melis is a communications manager for a craft brewery in San Diego. “I work full time for an independent craft brewery, support the Brewers Guild and Pink Boots Society. […] You want beer culture to be more diverse and inclusive? Stop sh*tting on the people who bring diversity to it. Do better.”

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I have three significant things happening soon. The first one is that Melis @thegirlwithbeer and I are going to PANAMA next week!! I was invited to collab with @fulaicaza at @boquetebrewingcompany, and asked Melis to come along. Ale has a whole itinerary packed full of exciting things that we can’t wait to share with y’all. If you happen to live in Panama City, we will be doing a little meet and greet event. Check my stories for info. TAG your friends in Panama, we’d love to meet them!! And stay tuned for the next drop of news. 🇵🇦 ✈️ . . 🍻🍹: @southernbeergirl, myself, and @thegirlwithbeer drinking some @brooklynbrewery Bel Air sour and beer cocktails at @thepearlhotel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #craftbeeronly #craftbeerlove #craftbeerbabe #craftbeergirl #brooklynbrewery #brooklynbeer #sourbeer #unicornhair #rainbowhair #craftbeercommunity #panamacitybeach #panamabeer #visitpanama #beerblogger #travelblogger #gypsybrewer #ladybrewer #girlswithbeer #dippindaisysswimwear #beerus #boquete #boquetepanama #sandiegogram #visitsandiego

A post shared by megan ✻ beer ✻ travel ✻ style (@isbeeracarb) on May 30, 2019 at 2:39pm PDT

Bella, a.k.a. One Hoppy Lady, also defended her right to control her own image in an Instagram post following the podcast, writing: “Does my fitted shirt discredit the 9 years I’ve spent in the beer industry? Does @isbeeracarb’s bikini erase all her brewing knowledge? Is @la_petite_biere too sexy to enjoy beer? […] I’m disappointed in Brewbound for publishing this harmful speech against women.”

(Ironically, or perhaps not at all, the Brewound Podcast topic was “diversity and inclusion.” It later featured an interview with D.C. brewery owner Julie Verratti, former chair and current member of the Brewers Association Diversity Committee.)

Womanhood, like beer, is political. What women say, wear, and do with our bodies in public is regularly politicized and policed. When the collective expertise of a group of young women is called into question because of the ways they present their bodies online, it opens our eyes to the ways conservatism and unsolicited criticism are unfortunately still present in the beer industry — and the world at large.

Interestingly, this is not the first time a listicle of influencers sparked controversy within the beer community. In 2017, “30 Female Beer Lovers You Must Follow On Instagram,” published by Men’s Health, also ruffled feathers. Some responses, from women as well as men, were strikingly similar to Furnari’s recent remarks.

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Quality is so important to me when I make beer, I make sure all of my ingredients are fresh and healthy before using them. I taste the wort and beer in every stage to make sure things are progressing as they should be. I’m so concerned about quality, which is why since I’ve started at @jaggedmountaincb we have been using the lab company @fermlyknow ! They have the specialized equipment that most breweries can not afford or have space for. They are able to test a wide range of things from ABV to calories. If you are worried about a contamination they can test for other unwanted yeasts/bacteria. I was able to visit their lab the other day and pretend like I was helping 😝 in all reality it was super cool to see how they go through the samples that us breweries send them. I was most fascinated by the way they test for calories! If you want to have a more in depth view be sure to check my stories. Fermly is a great option for breweries concerned about their beer quality, or just getting a more in depth view at your beer. Both of the owners have been in the beer industry, and give you a personal touch with direct communication. This is why if you mention me, southernbeergirl, you can get 10% off your first order with them! Check out the link in my bio to see all the services they offer 🔥 THEY TEST INTERNATIONALLY TOO! Have you ever gotten your beer tested? What are some things that surprised you the most?

A post shared by Alyssa (@southernbeergirl) on Jul 29, 2019 at 8:35am PDT

“I just think that championing these so-called IG ‘beer chicks’ is not the best vehicle for [recognition]… IG has just become an endless T&A parade with nearly naked pics being posted to lure you to their paid sites,” Hopgoddess312 wrote in a BeerAdvocate forum discussing the article. She also referred to the list as “a bunch of pics from women’s IG accounts, a good chunk of which are just tit pics and nothing to do with beer.” (Ironically, or perhaps not at all, Hopgoddess312’s profile photo is also a close-up of her breasts and a beer.)

“I feel this type of attention sets us back and demeans the hard working women who are in the industry,” Afro Beer Chick wrote in an October 2017 blog post. “There is no need to be a ‘hey look at me’ type beer chick… Let’s keep the boobs and butts for the other Instagram thots.”

On the other hand, the Men’s Health list was published in its “Sex” section. This is a meaningful editorial decision that reinforces the idea that attractive women and beer experts are two different subjects that often overlap.

Two years later, we are still grappling with these nuances. When members of the beer community see women baring it all in their photos, and earning more “likes” and followers, it’s easy to critique them for marketing to the male gaze. Yet when a male figure enters the ring to publicly condemn these same women, many jump to the women’s defense. What’s the deal?

It’s all about agency and respect. All members of the beer community should be able to present themselves however they choose, so long as they’re not hurting anybody; it’s not up to us to dictate what’s best for anyone else.

Yes, many of the Instagrammers included in last month’s list have sexy public personas. They’re also equipped with brains and beer expertise. Assuming anything less does a disservice to us all.

The article Uproxx, Brewbound, and the Internet Gaze on Women in Beer appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/beer-boobs-misogyny/