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#And yes I know what Happens haha
scificrows · 1 year
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Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.
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Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):
In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.
It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]
The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]
Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]
In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]
In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]
Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.
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Some Doodles of Wally and Sally!!
I normally don't share my theories, but I am almost 60% certain Wally was the monster in Sally's Halloween story! It is that or it's someone we haven't met yet, but either way I'm excited to find out who it is!
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imthursdaysyme · 1 year
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When you need to match your husband so you buy an array of headbands that match all his shirts
#stranger things#drawing#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#i love the idea of them being married#and just living life#imagine how many people would be like oh I see a ring who's the lucky girl#and Eddie comes up smiling like haha me I'm his husband#I also think Steve would LOVE calling Eddie his husband#like oh my husband this my husband that#people at his workplace call Eddie “husband” cause they forgot his name#Steve won't use it#and when Eddie finally meets his coworkers like hey I'm the-#and they all are like HUSBAND#and Eddie is like yes yes I am but what uh what's going on#and one is like yelling to a coworker and is like “Jess come ere Husband showed up” and Eddie is like hold on know wait q minute#and stwce is blushing furiously in the corner and Eddie is like wtf is happening#and one coworker is like oh. my. god. he doesn't shut up about yoh#but tbh we have no idea what your name is#and Eddie is like those two things don't match up#and hes like well your man only calls you his husband and nothing else so uh#all the staff call you husband as if it's your name#and Eddie is like grinning ear to ear cause like they are well into their 30s by now#and turns to a blushing Steve and is like#the husband huh?#and Steve is like omg shut tf up Eddie istg#and eddies all over him like ooooooh you looooove meeeee#and Steve is like bro we've been married for a decade#And all the coworkers watch and are like you know what everything makes so much sense now as they see Steve beating a gangly Eddie off him
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angeart · 1 month
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hhau mimic arc rambles part III bonus: the eclipse
(~2,8 k words) // other parts & au masterpost here
Every couple of years, there’s a total eclipse in this world. The moon is big, obscuring the sun in a horrible totality, entrapping it for what feels like too long. This is a big event, but not because people are eager to spectate the sky and bask in its weirdness. No, it has much worse connotations.
Because the eclipsed moon affects many of the hybrids. Especially the animal ones.
Hunters look forward to the eclipse because it promises a lot of loud, distressed, instinct-driven hybrids scattering about without many defences. They prepare traps specifically for this occasion and organise big hunting parties, eager for the upcoming bloodbath and bounty.
The eclipse happens mid-winter while Scar and Grian are on the server.
And it’s awful.
[cws violence, murder (no known characters), panic, mind-altering states and a loss of self control, haywire instincts, non-consensual manhandling, horrory vibes]
They don’t really know what is happening at first. Hermitcraft is a safe server which has many things coded differently, and because eclipses hurt many hybrids, they never happen there. So Scar and Grian have never experienced anything like this, and the yank it has on Grian’s state in particular is startingly sharp and terrifyingly confusing.
Scar himself is alright, because—and the two of them don’t know this at the time—vexes are immune to the eclipse. 
Actually, that’s not quite accurate. The eclipse helps heighten their magic.
They thrive.
Grian does anything but thrive.
His instincts go absolutely batshit haywire. He starts getting disoriented and incredibly uneasy, anxiety holding him in a choke hold, and all rationality and caution leave him, replaced by pure fear. 
He starts making inadvertent chirping sounds, panicked, and no matter what Scar says or does, Grian can’t seem to stop.
It’s so dark outside. And Grian’s chirping isn’t the only one that sounds through the forest.
In a world where they thought avians might be all nearly hunted to extinction, there are now suddenly, in this darkness, piercing faraway chirps. Just as panicked and lost-sounding as Grian’s own.
But those are not the only sounds the looming forest has to offer.
There’s also hollering and cheers. Whistles and barks. Twigs snapping under careless boots. Hunter parties following every single hybrid noise right to its source only to slice it shut. Shrill, chilling screams before some hybrid inevitably plunges into absolute, horrifying silence.
Scar’s desperately trying to get Grian to shush. He pleads him to stop, to be quiet. Tries to calm him down.
But it’s all futile. Grian has no control over himself. He can’t make it stop; it’s a wholly new kind of fear, overpowering and unfamiliar, yanking at his instincts. (It feels, a little bit, like a huge moon crashing down while the ground underneath him shakes and disintegrates.) (It feels like locking eyes with someone and not being sure if he’ll ever get to see them again.) (It feels like apocalypse. Like the end.) (His mind screams at him and he can’t help but scream along with it.)
Scar wonders if he should put a hand over Grian’s mouth. He doesn’t know what to do, but the hunters are out there, in large numbers, tireless and eager, and Grian’s voice is now the beacon luring them over, pinging with their exact location.
Grian is slowly backing away, hunched, feathers puffed. His wings are semi-curled around him, no longer tucked under the cloak, even though they’re out in the open. 
He doesn’t seem like he’d do well with being touched.
But Scar needs him to be quiet. For Grian’s sake too.
Before Scar can do anything, though, Grian’s earwings flit wildly and he whips his head to the side, honing in on some noise.
It’s a distressed chirp, one that sounds closer than any of the other ones. 
It’s an avian in distress calling for help.
Grian thought there aren’t any avians but him, and now there is one, still alive, so very close, desperate for aid, and— Grian’s mind blanks. There’s only one single thing to do here. He isn’t thinking. His heart beats wildly in overdrive. His body moves.
Blindly, Grian bolts in the direction of the sound. 
And it’s up to Scar to scramble and run after him. 
It’s more than that. More than just following Grian. Because there is so much at stake, and he needs to stop him and quiet him and— And he might have to exert force, and—
Oh. He is basically hunting Grian down here.
He is the hunter following in the steps of a terrified avian.
And Grian, in his dazed and fragmented perception of the world, feels just like prey. There is so much happening for him right now: it’s dark and all he can see is Scar’s piercing vex eyes when he glances over his shoulder; he’s lost in panicky instincts, trying to reach another avian in distress, hurtling blindly towards potential danger; and he does feel hunted.
On top of that, he can’t stop the stream of bird noises. He can’t pull his wings under his cloak either. He’s stumbling and tripping and scaping himself all over, but he feels like he needs to keep running.
He no longer knows if he’s even heading the right way. The chirping he was following fell dead silent. His head is just screaming at him. Hot white panic and a cacophony of unstoppable, overpowering instincts.
Scar has to stop him before he gets himself killed.
As awful as it is, Scar doesn’t care about that other potential avian (it could be a trap) nearly as much as he cares about Grian. His priorities here are clear, desperation thick and loud in his lungs, pressing at his ribs. There’s no time for bargaining or for steeling himself. 
He needs to act.
Scar grabs Grian and tackles him to the ground.
He’s pinning him down, sort of straddling him, hands on Grian’s mouth, hopelessly trying to muffle the noises. He feels absolutely vile, but he doesn’t know what else to do. His breaths come in little sharp huffs of blue magic, shiny through the darkness as he expels a ton of emotional energy just to keep himself from panicking and crying.
He finds that it’s not as easy to hold Grian down when he doesn’t want to be pinned down. But also it is. It is easy, far too easy—harrowingly so. Grian’s so light. (It frightens Scar to even touch the thought of how simple this would be for the hunters too.) 
He’s terrified of hurting Grian accidentally. He’s very capable of it; Grian’s made of brittle hollow bones after all, and Scar’s grip is a bit too strong, but he doesn’t have a choice here. Grian won’t stop thrashing, fighting to be freed. (But Scar knows that letting go would almost surely result in Grian’s death.)
And where Grian’s attention is kind of selective, not processing things at all, Scar’s attention is sharp—sharpened by panic—keenly attuned to their surroundings. He hears all the various noises come and go. Not necessarily chirps; other hybrids, too. Them falling silent. The hunters yelling. And the screams. God. The awful screams.
They’re all too far away for now, thankfully, but if Grian won’t stop, they’re bound to come this way. After all, if Scar can hear them, surely they can hear Grian too—?
Scar feels nauseous and horribly helpless. The hunters cheer and laugh as the hybrid noises go dead silent, one by one— only the hounds left barking and howling in their wake.
Scar knows that, even though it’s awful, they can’t help any of those hybrids. But he’s going to do everything in his power so that at least the two of them can survive this.
Despite all his (pointless) efforts, the hunters catch up to them anyway.
As they approach, Scar is struggling to quiet Grian down, and Grian isn’t thinking straight enough to properly fight. It’s the worst possible situation. 
There’s no point in quieting Grian down anymore when the hunters are right here though, and so Scar moves on the defensive, ready to give it all to keep Grian alive. The fight is ugly, drenched in frightening desperation; Scar is numb to the pain even when something tears. Grian’s chirps get worse. Warmth drips down Scar’s face.
But then a different sort of howling breaks through Scar’s mounting panic, and—
A group of wild vexes rushes in. Not to save Scar and Grian in particular; it’s just a lucky timing.
Because as it turns out, just the way hunters set off to hunt down hybrids during the eclipse, the vexes—who are more powerful at this time, magic thrumming strongly in their veins—set off to hunt down the hunters. So nicely accumulated for them. So loud. So easy to find. 
The vexes and the humans clash, and in the swell of the chaos, Scar manages to drag Grian away. 
He wants to keep going, increase the distance between them and everyone else as much as possible, but all too soon the forest opens up into fields, and no way he’s pulling a dazed Grian out there where they can’t hide. So instead he swerves, anchoring them against a rock formation—an array of boulders and a jagged cliff wall. 
He presses Grian into a small dent there, covering him with his own body (imprisoning him there, in a way). Hiding Grian’s wings, muffling his chirps, whispering frantic things that are meant to be soothing. The sky is still dark, and Grian’s still chirping, although it’s quieter now; it’s clear he’s exhausting himself, but he’s still making noises. Still unable to stop, despite the terror and the fatigue.
They get found again.
But it’s not the human hunters that find them this time. It’s the vex group, sneaking up on them, all their sharp edges drenched in blood, glowing with magic.
Scar turns his back to Grian, still pressing against him, tucking him against the rocks, hiding him as much as possible. He’s ready to lash out. He’s ready to fight with these vexes, even if he’s outnumbered. (He’s got no species loyalty here, after all.) 
In a curious tone, one of the vexes says: “That avian is going to get you killed.”
The words register to Grian through the haze. He’s still absolutely lost amidst this all, barely understanding the world around him, struggling to process anything. But there’s something about the words avian and get you killed, and the thought of Scar, that makes it through the fog.
It only serves to make him more distressed. He breathes in sharp, shallow breaths, and his chirping grows louder again, high pitched. But it’s not just the chirps this time. Some of the sounds he makes are choked, merging into something more like himself—the sound of helpless sobs.
Scar is shielding Grian with his back, but that means he’s turning his back on Grian’s cries and all of his misery. He cannot comfort him. He has no words that would make Grian not afraid right now.
The vex suggest leaving Grian or—worse—using him as a bait.
Scar’s staring them down, growling lowly, one eye squinted as blood runs down his face. “How about you leave.”
The vex don’t budge. They think they’re after a good thing here, after all. Surely, Scar also wants these hunters dead?
What they’re suggesting isn’t to sacrifice Grian as a bait—they don’t actually want to outright hurt or endanger him, even if it maybe doesn’t translate well through their stance and words. They’re not malicious in that way. What they’re suggesting is simply pragmatic in their minds. (I mean, they wouldn’t grieve if the avian happened to die there, but it wasn’t their goal to let it happen.) 
“We’re hunting the humans,” they note, as if that should’ve been enough to sway Scar. “We could use the avian—”
“No.”
One of the vex, white hair braided and smile sharp, peeks past Scar, trying to glimpse the feathers. The violet shade reflected in the glow of their magic tells him everything he needs to know, sating his curiosity, and he whistles, impressed. Amazed that an avian like this has lasted so long.
Scar lunges at him for getting too close.
He gets laughed at in return. What’s he gonna do, all alone? Not even channelling his magic to heal his own wound. It’s just funny to them. Cute. “What’re you going to do?” they tease, a bit too cheerily for the situation at hand. It rings threatening. “You’re outnumbered, pal.”
Scar doesn’t back down. “I’d take at least one of you down with me.” It’s a big statement. Covering up all of his nauseating fear and unending tension. Because he’ll do it. He’ll fight if he has to, and it will be ugly, and he might fail—he might die—but he’ll for sure give it everything he has.
And he can tell there’s camaraderie between this group of vexes. That they don’t really want any of them seriously hurt. 
They, as vexes, know the best how dangerous a feral, cornered vex with something to protect can be.
There’s a sliver of respect this earns Scar, unbeknownst to him. The will to stand up to them even when he’s outnumbered like this. To not give in to the pressure and instead fight for his values. For what he cares for.
The white haired vex—seemingly a leader of the group of sorts—reiterates, tone a bit lower, that the avian is going to get Scar killed. That he’d be better off without him. (Essentially voicing the deep rooted fear Grian already has.)
He also extends an invitation, almost in the same breath, impressed by Scar standing up to them. But it’s only Scar who is invited, and it’s blatant—the condition laid down is drop the avian or let’s use him as a bait and hunt together. 
With sharp ire and a swell of protectiveness, Scar counters that he’d be better off without them, actually.
There’s a snort and a mocking, “Aight, let’s see how long you can last.”
The relief Scar feels when they relent and leave is immense, leaving him weak in his knees.
He thinks they’re foolish, risking themselves like that. In his mind, they’re the definition of the violent vex, that dark reputation that seems to now stick to Scar and follow him too by the virtue of being the same kind of hybrid. He doesn’t want anything to do with that. 
And of course, he’d never leave Grian.
Grian is his last connection to home. He loves him, even if it never feels like it’s enough.
Excruciatingly slowly, sun eventually peeks back out. But even then, it takes Grian a very long time to untangle himself from these dazed, nonsensical instincts. It’s such a heavy, sticky veil and he’s left disoriented and confused for the longest time. Through his exhaustion, he feels weak and dizzy and out of it.
Scar is also exhausted, but they’re nowhere near safe yet. Still pressed against the rocks. Every nerve ending is flared up, Scar’s senses alert to the point of flinching at the subtlest sound, hypervigilant. But as Grian slumps and quiets down, Scar’s firm grip on him follows. 
Slowly, so slowly, Scar’s hold on Grian becomes comforting instead of restricting and terrifying.
He can tell that it left bruises.
Scar hates everything about it, but— They’re alive.
The sun is back, Grian is quiet, and they’re alive.
But they still need to find safety. And Grian’s so frazzled, still processing what even happened. The blurred memories of chirps and howls and screams swirl through his mind. He feels lightheaded, and like his skull is stuffed full, unable to think clearly. He doesn’t quite understand any of it, and his body feels locked in place. 
Grian wants to stay sitting here until everything starts making sense, but they don’t have that kind of time. They can’t stay. They need to move. They need to properly hide. 
Scar feels awful, but he needs to push through. He needs to force Grian to move.
The snow is splattered with blood. The forest is dead silent, scattered bodies left behind all across it. The area is riddled with traps, some activated and others still hidden, waiting to be triggered. 
The sun is shining.
The silence is eerie.
The scent of blood is thick and fresh and nothing feels safe.
--
Later, when Grian’s more coherent, he says, “They were right.” In an incredibly quiet, fragile, unsteady voice—but laced with determination—he tells Scar: “You should’ve taken their deal.”
Scar immediately tries to dismiss it. Preferably to not engage with this conversation at all. “Not interested.”
Grian registers the shut down of the discussion, but that doesn’t make it any less loud inside of his mind (and heart). He simply goes quiet and withdraws. Lips pursed, lightly frowning, staring somewhere away.
They don’t talk about it again.
Late at night, when Grian can’t sleep because he’s too high strung, he thinks of how it’d feel like, to be used by those vexes as a bait.
He dreams about it.
He dreams of faraway chirps and laughter and hounds finding him.
He has so many nightmares after this.
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BONUS screenshot for shits n giggles:
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nekucreates · 3 months
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I started Resident Evil 1 and I'm nearly at the end of it, and this Wesker guy is really reliable. Chris trusts him wholeheartedly and I don't blame him. I too, can be delusional, but not as delusional as Chris. (this is Chris' incorrect memory recall)
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the-kipsabian · 2 years
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longagoitwastuesday · 14 days
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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dreamlogic · 3 months
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i have no clue what's going on w/ the hiring process for the job offer i got yesterday, but at least it seems like nobody at the post office does either. 🙃
#ctxt#charlie vs mail#got a call from some guy at the regional sorting facility like 'uuh yeah just drop in to your PO whenever for fingerprinting'#so i show up in shorts & a t-shirt as a stop along a multi-errand trip bc my impression was that this is just a part of the background check#woman doing my prints was like 'idk if anyone's here to speak with you today but we can check'#me still thinkin it's just a casual meet/greet 'oh no worries haha! btw i got the job offer before having even 1 interview is that normal?'#she doesn't know but leads me around until we find someone buried under a stack of paperwork at her desk#'hi [redacted!] charlie is here for their interview!'#redacted peers over his monitor like a deer in headlights 'who is here for their what now??? oh uuuhh gimme a minute uuuhhhhh'#i'm sweatinnnmng like i'm wearing my birks i am massively underprepared but ok i guess we're doing this & they already offered me the job so#redacted also seemed to be panicking a lil bc the person who usually does these interviews isn't even in today#we had a moment of 'so we're both utterly blindsided here right?' 'yeah can we reschedule?' 'yes god please let's reschedule'#so i'm going back thursday for an actual interview. after already completing background check & filling out tax paperwork#get home to an email from the dude who called me this morning like 'btw dress business casual for your fingerprinting & bring XYZ'#but still stating nowhere that the implication was that fingerprinting & interview would happen concurrently????#this is a federal institution & the second largest employer in the US. get ur shit together !!!#hoping it's not gonna be a black mark that i showed up in my casual summer clothes without the necessary docs#but tbf to me the expectations were hella unclear like i wasn't even given a point of contact for an onboarding supervisor until today#since they were also drastically underprepared i hope it'll just be water under the bridge & we can properly meet thursday#hands down weirdest hiring/onboarding process i've ever gone through but fuck it we ball
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witchkingofanmar · 1 month
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why would you make a spin off series of a movie where the main character gets tricked into gay marrying a ghost and then not mention this fact even ONCE in the series
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haveihitanerve · 4 months
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Ripred: FOUR MONTHS Solovet: what is he-? Vikus: it’s really not importan- Ripred: YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS!!!
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possiblyfunny · 4 months
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Oh look, another art piece-
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He a little confused, but he got the spirit
WOO! After getting confirmation on details about the character, I finally allowed myself to draw this! It was originally going to be a mini comic, but I just decided to draw the last panel with a lot more detail.
Blue belongs to @creatively-cosmic. They have an Ask Blog by the name of @themissingnumbers, so go check them out! Their content is great!
Aster belongs to me.
[Extras and whatnot below the cut!]
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[Extra Bonus!:
If you actually looked under the cut, you get to be blessed with a little nugget of information about Aster!
Aster doesn’t know jack about sexuality or gender identity (don’t worry, he’s learning!) But what he does know are the colors! Aster can tell you what colors or flag represents which sexuality/gender—but he couldn’t actually tell you about them. He doesn’t know what each of them mean.
Lots of people in his life and around his home have little desk flags or wear pins with different gender identities or sexuality’s on them, so he knows that it isn’t a bad thing. He thinks all the colors are pretty and unique and should be supported and celebrated!]
[Also, for those curious, here’s the symbolism for each flower. I wasn’t the most confident in drawing some of them, but I did my best to pick good ones!:
Blue Morning Glory: Encouragement, Power, Enduring Love
Pink Roses: Appreciation, Recognition, Happiness
White Daffodil: Rebirth, Good Fortune, Resilience.]
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widevibratobitch · 5 months
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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sysig · 6 months
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But would you tho (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Schuldig#ZEX#And again the Captain implied from offscreen lol#Two little things ♪ One that Actually happened and one speculation lol#I really like Schuldig :D He's the likeable asshole type and his quirk is very well written :)#I love how he gets on Zelnick's case about his wishy-washy-ness in regards to xenophilia generally and ZEX specifically hehe#Zelnick has no good answer for him! It's so cute hehe <3#But then he turns right around and is wishy-washy himself!! I get the feeling his frustration stems a bit from relating hahaha#Or maybe Zelnick's uncertainty influenced him! It's not such an easy decision to make when you're staring down the barrel is it now :)#Openly attracted to Max's body and flattered by ZEX's personality and outright attraction to him in turn but the alien aspect is too much pf#Sure right okay lol - I have no skin in this game so I'll have to take his word for it haha#Secondarily speculating around ZEX's attraction and standards lol it sounds like an oxymoron but no he is actually a bit picky!#Yes he loves humans generally but he is actually tempered by what mind inhabits what body! It's so interesting to me!#I think it's especially funny how his various desires are in conflict with each other haha#Like it makes sense that he controls himself around Fwiffo - poor thing would have a heart attack - but he genuinely seems less attracted!#Which makes sense to me as well ♪ Spathi and VUX share several traits and were on the same side during the War so he's familiar with them#And he's specifically attracted to differences and novelty - it all lines up!#And then there's also his pride lol he tries to make more friends than enemies of course but he still gets petty and patronizing <3#If he's actually upset with someone /he's/ the one who would need convincing! It's all very interesting :3c#And then there's the matter of his own body vs. Max's body - he's so upset at the metaphysical implications of cloning his consciousness#I've never thought of ZEX in the context of the ''Would you fuck your clone'' questionnaire but I guess I know his answer now haha#Though I still wonder what his reaction would be to Max :0 He's probably not close enough to be ZEX but he is /a/ ZEX - of a sort#All his introspection about the body he's in has my mental ears perked haha - pity and worry for the potential life he's replacing#Discomfort at possibly being Max in some capacity including continuing to be in his body but also of overtaking his life entirely#And of being backed into a corner - Max is pitiful as well as pitiable! Neither of them want to be Max Vyer really#He loves humans but how far does that extend when push comes to shove ♪ It's been interesting watching him fumble through it :)
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romaritimeharbor · 6 months
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guys i have no idea when this happened but i have like, multiple new genshin ocs bouncing around in my head
#✧— aphe's musings.#hestia is the name i've chosen for one!#she was la signora's personal assistant before she died and has since deserted the fatui. idk if i talked about her yet or not#the others are unnamed#i've got an expelled vahumana scholar. truth is they are just a silly little guy (gender neutral) who cannot be constrained +#+ they were never going to hurt anyone!!!! they just got a little carried away bro they SWEAR on it!!!!! it was an accident they +#+ really didn't mean to commit like. all of the sins :( they didn't mean it :( (they did mean it. btw. yeah)#(^ they *genuinely* are just a little silly and they happen to have a very strong moral compass. they were *never* going to hurt anyone.)#i have like 5 million fatui ocs HAHA#anyways :) another fatui oc upon ye:#alongside the one who got their limbs torn off and then replaced by dottore there's another fatui agent oc +#+ who joined the fatui following an altercation between pantalone and their former rich guy boss who was in +#+ massive debt that he had not repaid. and they did not know anything about it? and they were basically like +#+ “get fucked loser” they did NOT like him. uhh something something that one quote from yelan's story quest +#+ “give a dog a bone and it will guard your home for the rest of its life” pantalone & oc-core#you guys can pronoun assign all these ocs (except hestia) because idk what pronouns to give them LMFAO#anyways how do you guys make those cute genshin oc posts that make it feel like a canon +#+ character profile..... please teach me 😔#also expelled akademiya student ended up falling into the abyss prior to their expulsion; it was learning of the sins the gods committed +#+ that made them intentionally do things that the akademiya forbode. they and hestia are friends also btw!#they both are working towards the same goal so they help one another out sometimes#they probably kiss idk. maybe queerplatonically i think.
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coockie8 · 1 year
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Sorry just remembered like over ten years ago my sister tried to play Oppression Olympics™ between Sasuke and Neji, claiming Sasuke's had a harder life and like yeah his entire family was killed and his brother made him watch it and that sucks.
Neji's family literally owns him.
Look I don't want to compare them or anything, and having to watch your family die is, objectively awful, but being actively kept as a slave by your own family is also an objectively awful thing lol
#Naruto#Neji Hyuga#Sasuke Uchiha#and like also Sasuke lives in pain from what happened because he actively chooses to let it consume him#that's like a major character flaw of his#it's literally his entire motivation for joining Orochimaru#like losing his family and being forced to watch was a one-time event that Sasuke *actively* refuses to move on from#(two-time if you count the time he at twelve years old picked a fight with Itachi and thought he'd win for some reason)#Neji however lives suffering because he quite literally has no choice#Neji doesn't have a choice in being a slave that's just what his life is#I'm not trying to claim that one has it worse than the other#but I feel like that context is also pertinent#yes I've been kind of bitter about this for over 10 years lol#but I will *never* get over my sister's ''oh well what does *Neji* have to be miserable about?'' comment#it's like ''he's literally a slave boo'' lol#there were other characters she was comparing him too at the time but Sasuke was the big one haha#trash king rambles#actually you know what I'll say it#compared to basically every other ''tragic backstory'' character in the series#Sasuke's is actually pretty tame#yeah he lost his family but at least pretty much everyone still loves him#Kimimaro was raised in a cage and then also watched his entire family die#Gaara's dad tried to assassinate him several times and his entire village despised him#Naruto was treated like a literal monster by basically the entire village and he also has no family#Sasuke's just the most dramatic of the Trauma Orphans™ honestly like get over it lol
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