#Angua and Gaspode

[pandimensionalemporium]

Oh my gosh I love this so much, you've captured everything perfectly - not easy to do with Discworld 😍

Granny Wheatherwax and Nanny Ogg on the street of Ankh-Morphork, commission for Becky ♥

[merlinmerlot]

are you man? are you dog? are you man?

-from Men At Arms

Meant to be a piece focused on Vimes' gender and then it got away from me. I think there's a lot of ways in which the books play around with Vimes' masculinity and how it relates to the roles given to him - Husband, Guardsman, Duke, all identities thrust upon him more than anything else. And there is a sort of struggle of toxic masculinity inherent to Vimes' character, particularly in his relationship to violence (which makes the hyper masculine romanticizing of vimes in fifth elephant all the more lame... But that's another topic).

This is all to say that:

Happy Pride Month!

[thesanityclause]

Just a couple of extremely normal every day Ankh-Morpork dogs. Very normal. Nothing exceptional here.

[megafaunatic]

vetinari's terrier greatest hits

(transcription in alt texts; excerpts from MEN AT ARMS, then a bunch from JINGO, then the final one from NIGHT WATCH)

[rincewinds-hat]

Headcanons

Vimes naturally runs hot. He's all pent up rage, what did you expect? In his younger days, other watchmen would walk closer to him on particularly cold nights. Vimes thought it was either because a)he was too drunk and swerving into them ; or b)they can't walk in a straight line. Vimes thinks it's the first one, because after he quit drinking he became busier and busier until patrols for him were basically non existent.

Rincewind is a blanket hog. He's usually cold, semi because of the fact that he doesn't have the greatest circulation (despite his heart beating really fast most of the time)

Carrot listens to rock music. Do with that what you will.

Angua, surprisingly, wasn't big on music, but Carrot introduced her to rock so she'll only listen to that.

Vetinari wishes he could smack someone over the head with his cain, but that wouldn't end well for him so he refrains.

Gaspode sometimes stops by the Watch 'just to check up on them' when really, he's looking for food that isn't moldy or too dry/wet (and if talking to someone is actually nice, that's his secret)

Sybil puts dragons in a corner if they misbehave. Vimes thinks it's hilarious.

[insanity-laughs-under-pressure]

How I imagine random Discworld characters!

Part 1, 2

Gaspode The Wonder Dog

Sergeant Colon

Corporal Nobbs

Angua

Corporal Carrot

[klinefelterrible]

Does anyone else cry at the last meeting with the King in Fifth Elephant? I was reading it at work yesterday and lucky me noone was around because fuuuuuck. Every single part hits hard

[hotsauceintheebag]

"Wolves hate werewolves."

"What? That can't be right! When she's wolf-shaped she's just like a wolf!'

"So? When she's human-shaped she's just like a human. And what's that got to do with anything? Humans don't like werewolves. Wolves don't like werewolves. People don't like wolves that can think like people, an' people don't like people who can act like wolves. Which just shows you that people are the same everywhere," said Gaspode. He assessed this sentence and added, "Even when they're wolves."

-The Fifth Elephant, Terry Prachett

[deadheaddaisy]

How adorable is this Discworld fanart?

GIRLS NIGHT1!!! Angua and Cherri, oh gods i love this duo theyre adorable,,,

i also tried doing a disco elysium and discworld fake screenshot,,, (( i suck at thinking of cool names for things so i took the skills names from @higgsbison post where they did an interactive disco elysium and a discworld crossover !! )) aand some more character interactions, sam and sybil this time

^ ( inspo'd by this post i saw ))

[stupidphototricks]

Roundup of my favorite quotes from Men at Arms. (There are so many. This is after editing it down by at least half.)

And then her gaze met that of a small, non-descript mongrel dog watching her very intently from under a cart. In fact non-descript was not what it was. It was very easy to descript. It looked like halitosis with a wet nose. -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Angua picked out the bottle and looked at the label. "C. M. O. T. Dibbler's Genuine Authentic Soggy Mountain Dew," she read. "He's going to die! It says, 'One hundred and fifty percent proof'!" "Nah, that's just old Dibbler's advertising," said Nobby. "It ain't got no proof. Just circumstantial evidence." -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

He liked people who loved and respected books, and the best way to do that, in the Librarian's opinion, was to leave them on the shelves where Nature intended them to be. -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Someone thumped at the door. "That's probably an angry mob right now," said Nobby. Carrot opened the door. "It's not an angry mob," he announced. "Ook." "It's an orangutan carrying a stunned dwarf followed by a troll. But he is quite angry, if that's any help." -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

"[H]as there been, in your opinion, an irreparable breakdown of law and order in the city?" "They turned over Throat Dibbler's barrow and made him eat two of his own sausages-inna-bun!" "Oh, I say!" said Colon. "Without mustard!" "I think we can call that a Yes," said Carrot. -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Sergeant Colon was lost in admiration. He'd seen people bluff on a bad hand, but he'd never seen anyone bluff with no cards. -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

"This your club with a nail in it. You will eat it. You will sleep on it! When Detritus say Jump, you say... what color!" -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

"Clothing has never been what you might call a thingy of dog wossname." Gaspode scratched his ear. "Two metasyntactic variables there. Sorry." -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

"As I was a-walking along Lower Broadway, The recruiting party came picking up people by their ankles and saying they were going to volunteer to join the Watch unless they wanted their goohuloog heads kicked in, So I went via Peach Pie Street and Holofernes instead, Singing: Too-ra-li, etc." -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Despite his deep distrust of magic, he quite liked the wizards. They didn't cause trouble. At least, they didn't cause his kind of trouble. True, occasionally they fractured the time/space continuum or took the canoe of reality too close to the white waters of chaos, but they never broke the actual law. -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

"Would he accept?" "Is the High Priest an Offlian? Does a dragon explode in the woods?" -- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

[francesderwent]

the part in The Fifth Elephant where Angua angrily shows up to rescue Carrot from freezing to death in the snow and Gaspode begins to suspect that simple-but-not-stupid Carrot was ill-prepared and used bad judgment and nearly got himself killed on purpose because he knew if he was really in trouble Angua would come back for him…it gets me. I’m shocked every time. and because it’s Carrot there’s not a hint of self-destructiveness in it, it’s not a threat, not “I’ll kill myself if you don’t come back”. it’s just an act of insane trust: I’m gonna follow you until it almost kills me—but it won’t because I know you’ll turn back.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

okay, it's been a couple of hours and nobody asked yet, so *now* i am asking about Downey

First impression

I first met him in Hogfather and I was like: WHO IS THIS MAN AND CAN WE HAVE MORE OF HIM???

Then in Men at Arms I was like: YES, THIS ASSHOLE. HE HAS RETURNED, IF BRIEFLY. I was so chuffed when he became head of the Guild.

In Nigh Watch I just was like: please lord in heaven, I need more of this ABSOLUTE MENACE of a man. Why are we always reading about the Watch and Vimes? I give 0 shits about him. Give me more of this asshole of an assassin and his love of dogs and insects.

Impression now

I mean, Favourite. I love him. He can do no wrong. He should, in fact, be more of a menace and a nuisance to everyone.

I feel like I've rambled enough about Downey on this blog for most people to know my views on him. But I do like that the bits of information we have on him paint a surprisingly complex picture for someone who gets like five to ten minutes of page time whenever he's in a book.

As I know you and I have discussed this before, but I love the example of: We know that in his late forties/early fifties he listens for the Hogfather's arrival (and knows he is real, this is not a widely accepted thing in AM). Think of seventeen-year old Downey, what a lout he was, what an absolute prick, what an unaware and childish youth, who grew up to be a man who knows the Hogfather is real, listens for him on Hogswatch Eve while he's up late working (on a holiday), and has an open door policy for his students should they ever need him. A man who is described as amiable and gentlemanly with a kind smile (just don't eat a humbug if he offers you one. Some of Downey's chaotic and destructive tendencies remain into adulthood). Like, that's some Growth.

And to the Vetinari Ask that I got - I think that's the thing we don't see with Vetinari. There's no evident growth. Downey clearly has gone through some phenomenal changes to go from That Asshole at seventeen to the caring Guild leader at fifty. Still a snob and still a bit of a class a bastard, to be sure, some things don't change, but there was clearly still a lot of goddamn growth that happened. And that's interesting!

Anyway, love this mad lad.

Favorite moment

Probably Gaspode's description of Downey to Angua in Men at Arms where he's like "yeah, we like Downey. He gives us treats and pets, lets us roam and romp about Guild grounds, and also kills a lot of people very successfully. We street hounds are Pro-Downey for Guild Leader" and Angua is like ".....thanks?"

The Night Watch bit with him is also a favourite moment. He's so awkward and horrible and I love him. Even Ludo is like sighing and going, "For some reason that man is my best friend and I don't know why."

(tbf we don't know if Ludo and Downey were friends, there's no evidence in canon to this effect, but I've head-canoned they are so roll with it.)

Idea for a story

I want more Downey & Jocelyn adventures because I love Jocelyn.

I would love a story of Downey and Vetinari and the rest of the usual crew (Vimes, Sybil, Angua etc.) out on some sort of diplomatic mission to idk, Brindisi or something. But it's one of those diplomatic trips that are half-holiday half-work.

Downey is just wine-drunk constantly on the good Brindisi wine and trying to explain to Vimes how wine tasting works and Vimes is like "I don't drink and also it seems fake to me" and Downey is like "you're such a plebian". Sybil is nerding out on local dragon hatcheries that are initiating a new conservation program. She comes back covered in dirt and mud with her hair sticking up at all angles and crowing about the latest thing she saw and Vimes is like "that woman is the love of my life."

Vetinari is the only one actually doing anything useful but he makes Downey come with him to schmooze the local nobility because I've always weirdly head-canoned Downey's family as being of Brindisi extraction for some reason. Anyway, Downey is at these functions being all Posh and stuff and someone is like "Downey, Downey - you're Amos' boy aren't you?" And Downey is like, ".........I have this distinction, yes." Afterwards he refuses to go to functions until he can vet the list of attendees.

Vimes just grouses about the food and Downey is like "try the squid ink noodles, they're great" and Vimes is like "absolutely not." Vetinari is just like "ok, question Downey, who looked at squid ink and thought: I should put that on the pasta?" and Downey is like, "Someone with a great love for aesthetics. So probably an assassin."

Anyway, things are gently chaotic in their usual fashion until some sort of crises happens. Downey needs to either steal something or inhume someone or both. It becomes an insane heist story at this point and everyone is piled onto a tricycle going downhill at top speeds with no breaks.

Unpopular opinion

Like you, I think he's smart. He's not Vetinari levels of smart, but no one is because Vetinari is inhuman/impossible levels of smart. But you don't survive Snapcase and the politics of the Assassins Guild eventually become Master of the Guild while being a complete buffoon.

So I think he's savvy, he's good at politcking to a certain degree, he's got a half-decent risk-assessment matrix built into his brain. We know he's a good assassin, and that takes some skill and intelligence.

So yeah, I think he's smarter than he's sometimes portrayed. Even the canon is annoyingly inconsistent/illogical when it comes to this. Because TP wants him to be the butt of a joke and TP goes for people being "stupid" as funny so, that leads to illogical character actions when you look at them in the broader context of their own history and the world they operate in.

Favorite relationship

Aside from Vetinari?

I like the implications of there being a bit of a Downey-Mrs Palm-Boggis triumvirate in the City Council. Downey is clearly looked down on by Venturi and Selachii since he's a "jumped up" lord, not from their class. So they'll all ally together when it suits them, as we see in a few of the books, but they're not regular bedfellows.

Downey seems to be friendly with the older Lord Rust, Vimes certainly seems to think that they are friends, but unclear with the son/younger Rust. How much is the two actually liking each other or Rust doing the "noblesse oblige" by taking the new blood under his wing is never stated.

But whenever Downey is really getting into mischief and mucking about doing nonsense its with Mrs Palm or Boggis or both and I really like that. I think it says something his malleability. He goes up and down the class ladder, basically, in terms of friendships and political allies. Which is an interesting data point on someone as snobby as Downey.

Favorite headcanon

The canon is that Downey is a "jumped up" lord. This is stated in the books. I head-canon that he's more jumped up than he wants people to know. I always write his parentage as being very mercantile - his father is in trade. A merchant who still has his hands in the business, rather than letting others run it on his behalf. And his family is rich, absolutely rolling in it, but they're not One Of Us.

So when he goes to the Guild as a student Downey hyper-performs everything (class, masculinity, posturing and compensating all over the place) in order to be accepted by his colleagues there as one of the nobility, or veritable nobility. Doesn't work to the degree he would like it to, of course. But dad's wealth does help to bandage over some things.

This is also why he's fixated on Doing the Done Thing/Social Rules. I don't think Downey has many morals (he has maybe five (5) morals), but he does place great value on being included by those whom he esteems as Cool and will follow behavioural rules to allow him access and acceptability from those people. The Rules are also what ensures him social and political standing and safety, which he values. Also, I think from a young age Downey figured that if he Does the Done Thing he'll be able to crack the code of climbing the social ladder and so he gets weird and pissed off when people don't follow The Done Thing yet are still somehow part of his class world (e.g., Vimes after he marries Sybil).

----

Thank you! :D :D I do love our favourite inhumation man

[y2kbugs]

Ultimate Showdown, but it's Discworld

A dragon was rampaging around

Ankh-Morpork like a big playground

When suddenly Sam Vimes burst out of the Mended Drum

And readied the crossbow’s trigger with his thumb

The dragon got mad and descended upon

But didn’t expect to be blocked by Hrun

Who took Kring the magic sword from out the corner

When Captain Carrot arrived, in shining armor

Then he beat up Hrun like he was on a mission

And Vimes felt like he was being watched by the Patrician

Before he could make it back to Sator Square

Bloody S. Johnson swooped in from nowhere

And took the Gonne out from under his coat

And missed Vimes, he instead got Cut-Me-Own-Throat

But Death caught up and said, “Today is not your day,”

While Sergeant Detritus rushed into the fray

This is the greatest battle in Discworld’s History

Wizards, Witches, and explosions as far as the eye can see

The gods are watching the scene from Cori Celesti

This is the greatest battle in Discworld’s History

The dragon unleashed fire upon the troll

Also igniting Gaspode, who was on a stroll

And then Hrun came back, ready to hack and sack

But the Librarian jumped out and landed on his back

And Sam Vimes was injured and trying not to swoon

When Bloody S. Johnson returned with the clockwork spoon

But suddenly something caught his leg and he fell

Angua took him out with her fluffy tail

Then she saw the dragon sneaking up from behind

And she reached for her sword which she just couldn't find

Cause Vimes borrowed it and he swung and he missed

And the Librarian deflected it with his fist (ouch!)

Then he jumped in the air and he went ook 

While Johnson got hit by a magic book

Where sparks of Octarine flew into the air

Then the Luggage gave them a big ol’ scare

This is the greatest battle in Discworld’s History

Wizards, Witches, and explosions as far as the eye can see

The gods are watching the scene from Cori Celesti

This is the greatest battle in Discworld’s History

Ravens crowed, and out of the sky they dived

While on her broomstick, Granny Weatherwax arrived

Who delivered a glare, which could turn babies old

Into the face of Angua von Uberwald

Who crumbled to the ground, convinced she’s made of dough

As Sam Vimes took out his crossbow

But Granny saw him readying a shot

And she caught the arrow, which was red hot

Then Susan Sto Helit, and Death of Rats

And Maurice and his amazing Rodents, running past

And Tiffany Aching with her frying pan

And lady Sybil Ramkin, Duchess of Ankh

Adora Belle, Moist von Lipwig and Lord Vetinari

Mustrum Ridcully and the whole Unseen University 

Leonard of Quirm and Cheery Littlebottom

Twoflower, Pretty Butterfly, Lotus Blossom

All came out of nowhere lightning fast

And they kicked Granny all the way into the past

It was the most magical battle that the Disc ever saw

With civilians looking on in total awe

The fight raged on for a century

Death was quite busy but eventually

The champion stood, the rest saw their last hope

Rincewind in his raggedy robe

This is the greatest battle in Discworld’s History

Wizards, Witches, and explosions as far as the eye can see

The gods are watching the scene from Cori Celesti

This is the greatest battle in Discworld’s History

[graveyardbong]

Before I officially go to sleep I am listening to the audiobook of fifth elephant and I just had the revelation that while Angua is a werewolf- gaspode is almost a werehuman, I really like the parallels he draws between those two living as not a wolf and not a human do you know what I mean?????

[discworldbooksbracket]

For another Bracket, may I suggest, worst B Plot Charaters (combo of dislike the characters and/or dislike the b plots they end up in), along with list of what books they are B plot in (as some are A plot in one book, B in another): The Wizards (b plot books Mort, Reaper Man, Soul Music, Hogfather) Death (b plot, every Death book but Hogfather and Reaperman) Nobby and Colon (b plot, Every Watch book but the first 2) Vetinri (b plot, arguably any book he shows up in twice) Moist von Lipwig (b Plot: he somehow manages to be both the a and b plot in his own books, but I also have a unreasonable hatred of him) Lu Tze (b plot: Night Watch, Small Gods) Magrat Garlick (b plot: kinda all the witches books? she seems to have a seperate thing going on in all of them until the other witches let her join, y'ken?) Probably a few others can be metioned (Gaspode, Carrot, and Angua can all be argued relatively succesfully)

Though, to be fair, this may just be an excuse for me to rant in the propoganda bit of each poll how much I hate Moist, Colon, and Nobby.

Okay, one: I have several ideas for future polls already. I do not need to be given more.

Two, that's... not exactly incentive for me to want to run it? While I do support being a hater sometimes, there is a time and place, and I prefer not to run a tournament on the basis of being a hater.

Also, Moist is my favorite Discworld character, which means I have double incentive not to run a tournament.

If you wanna run a hater tournament, be my guest. I'll even reblog the link when it goes up. But I have no interest in inviting people to take over my activity page to complain. And I have to see everything y'all post to my tournaments.

[tinybluealien]

per sibling and i being extremely bored and silly at work this afternoon -

sam the eagle is vetinari. beaker and bunsen are togther leonard of quirm. sweetums is detritus, and rolf is dorfl. miss piggy is angua and kermit is carrot. fozzie is fred. gonzo is nobby. camilla the chicken is visit. janice could maybe be cheri? or is she the vampire they meet in uberwald and floyd is cheri?

dr teeth is dibbler. zoot is reg shoe.

gaspode is the only human.

I'm rereading Guards! Guards! and is it just me or does Vimes feel like the only human in a muppets movie