#Anyone want a random fact about snails? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

avatarmerida · 2 years

Text

Third First Kiss

Of course for the fluffiest prompt I had to write some grade A fluff. For @huntlowweek prompt: First Kiss. Y’all already know what’s up.

---

“Okay so no pressure, but if you kiss her tonight Amity owes me 20 snails,” said Gus, laying on Hunter’s bed rereading his favorite issue of Cosmic Frontier as Hunter paced across the floor, debating if he should change his outfit for the fifth time.

“It’s not that simple, Gus!” he exclaimed, wringing his hand nervously.

“Nothing is ever simple with you two, is it?”

“It needs to be special but it can’t be too obvious but I-I don’t wanna surprise her either because it could be seen as rude and I think it has a higher chance of injury cause we might bump noses or teeth or-.”

“Hunter don’t you think you’re maybe, I dunno, overthinking things?”

“Well I don’t want to underthink it!” he said, trying to hide the panic in his voice. “The moment has to be just right, it can’t just be totally random!”

“There's no possible way you can think about anything this much and call it random,” said Gus, flipping the page in his book.

“But I can’t let her know that!” Hunter exclaimed “What if... if she doesn’t think about it as much? She’ll think I’m weird!”

“She already thinks you’re weird; she likes that you’re weird.”

“Yeah but this is different weird,” he said. “This is weird about her!”

“I’m sure she feels… weird about you too,” Gus assured him. “Why don’t you just ask her if it’s the right moment?”

“It’s just that…” he sighed in defeat as he flopped onto the bed beside Gus, covering his face with his hands. “ I haven't told anyone this because it’s embarrassing but I think… I missed my chance.”

Gus set down his book and gave Hunter a pressing, inquisitive look. “Tell me everything.”

“Well,” Hunter hesitated before he began speaking rapidly. “We were in the human realm walking home from the store and it started to rain like super hard. So I put my jacket over us to keep us dry but I had to pull her closer to me so we’d both be covered and it all happened so fast and we were so close and it felt like time was frozen. And then she got even closer like her face was right by my face and then she closed her eyes and I thought she was blinking really slowly but then she... and then I was moving closer like I didn’t even know until we were so close we were almost... but I chickened out! I panicked. I was so sure but then all of a sudden I thought about it too much and err!” Hunter covered his face with a pillow and groaned loudly.

“Well at least you told her that you like her, right?” offered Gus. “That’s progress!”

“Yeah, that is progress.” Hunter agreed with a small smile. After everything, he had managed to work up the nerve to tell Willow that he “liked her romantically”, as he had so awkwardly phrased it. It only took facing the end of the word for him to have the courage. He had blurted it out after flyer derby practice one day, which Willow said she loved but it was not the elaborate grand gesture Hunter believed she deserved and still wanted to give her. So there was more pressure on this next step.

“And she likes you...” Gus reminded him.

“Yeah, she likes me,” said Hunter with a smile, still finding the fact hard to believe.

“And she’s liked you for a long time,” confirmed Gus. “Probably ever since you kidnapped us.”

“Why do you always have to bring that up?”Hunter asked, sitting up and glaring at him.

“You make it too easy.” Gus shrugged, but his teasing eased Hunter for only a brief moment.

“But... just because she likes me doesn’t mean she wants to kiss me,” he sighed.

“I’ve been told I’m not allowed to comment on that.”

“What? Why? What has she told you?”

“She told me if I speak for her about this she’ll fill my socks with poison ivy,” said Gus. “But I’m sure she’ll still like you even if you’re a horrible kisser.”

“Why would you say that?”

---

Hunter changed only two more times before he finally left to meet Willow at the art gallery.

He was still getting used to the new flow the outings had when it was just them. There had been plenty before, of course, but Hunter would spend so much time worrying about staring or standing too close. But now there was a different type of pressure. Ever since he told her how he really felt about her… well, he still worried about these things. But at least now it was easier to explain if she noticed. Well, not really. He was still a mess around Willow.

But the one important thing that changed was now they held hands alot more, and Hunter thought that was pretty cool.

“Oh, look at this one!” he said excitedly, grabbing her hand to bring her over to a large painting of a garden. Willow followed happily behind, lacing her fingers through his when they reached the display.

“It’s so beautiful,” admitted Willow with a content sigh.

“Yeah, it is.” agreed Hunter, his eyes drifting to the side. Willow knew he was talking about her and not the painting and she thought about letting him know that she knew to see his reaction. She decided against it so he could stare at her longer. He did that more now. Willow thought it was pretty cool.

Hunter got totally lost in the way the light found her. The way it bounced off her glasses and settled in her hair like a halo as she slowly moved her lips, listing every species of flower in the painting under her breath. Hunter was suddenly hyper aware of exactly how much attention he was paying to her lips. They had a light on them too, was she wearing lip gloss? Did she always wear lip gloss? He noticed the way they naturally curved into a smile, the way she pursed them when she forgot what flowers she had already listed and had to start over, the way… wait, was this a sign?

Was this the moment? He looked around and saw they were the only ones in this section of the gallery. He knew Willow had been looking forward to this exhibit, it was special, it was just them, it checked all the boxes. He took a deep breath and leaned down.

“So which is your favorite flower?” she asked, giving him the perfect opportunity for him to say you, of course or some version of that. His version of flirting had a certain learning curve, but Willow found it extremely endearing. He was silent for a moment, Willow assumed because he was still putting the words together but then the silence became overwhelmingly long.

She turned to see why he wasn’t answering her and saw his face beside hers; his eyes were tightly shut, his fists clenched at his sides, and his lips puckered as though he had eaten a piece of sour candy. He looked fairly unwell.

“Hunter, are you okay?” Willow asked, genuinely concerned.

“Um, yes yes of course I’m great,” he stuttered, standing up straight. “W-w-why wouldn’t I be? Do I not look okay?”

“Your face just looks kind of red,” said Willow. “And you’re sweaty, do you need to lay down? We don’t have to stay if you’re not feeling okay.”

“I’m fine, really I guess I’m just… nervous,” he sighed.

“Nervous? About what?”

“The truth is I was... going to kiss you,” Hunter confessed as though he had been caught doing something he should be ashamed about.

“Oh.”

“I know, I know,” said Hunter, replying to the worst case scenario fashioned by his own mind rather than the girl in front of him. “It’s probably too soon, right? I just don’t know how long you’re supposed to wait before a first kiss and I thought it was a really nice night and I felt comfortable so I thought-.”

“Hunter, Hunter,” said Willow, putting her hand gently on the side of his face. “It’s okay, breathe.” She gave a gentle laugh as he did, counting his breaths and he gathered his thoughts. “You don’t have to feel so much pressure.”

“I know it’s just... there’s so many variables and options and moments and it’s a really important moment and I just don’t wanna mess it up.”

“That’s so sweet but what I meant is there's no pressure because it... wouldn’t really be a first kiss.”

“Oh,” said Hunter, surprised. “Oh, well yeah I don’t know why that’s surprising, I mean if yo- you’ve probably kissed people before, of course people would wanna kiss you! I don’t know why I-.”

“I haven’t kissed anyone else,” Willow said calmly, biting her lip as he once again unknowingly showered her with compliments.

“Oh.” Hunter said again. “Okay wait, sorry I’m confused.”

“Well,” Willow sighed, taking Hunter's hands in hers. “I mean it wouldn’t technically be our first kiss because you have kissed me before.”

“What?!” Hunter exclaimed, rightfully baffled. “Wait, do dreams count?”

“No,” Willow said with a soft giggle as she shook her head.

“Oh, wait then what do you mean?” Hunter asked. “Does kissing have different definitions?”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s just the one,” she said sweetly, running her thumb over the back of his hand. “But um well... It was before a lot of stuff with The Collector happened when we got back to the demon realm. When you went off with the coven heads to get King while I helped Luz and Amity with Eda. It was all happening so fast but when you left, you stopped suddenly and turned around. You ran back pulled me into a hug and told me to be careful and that you cared about me and then before you ran back ... you kissed me.`` As she recounted the tale, a few small flowers sprouted atop her head.

“Like... really kissed you?”

She nodded

“Like... on the lips?” he asked somewhat bashfully.

“Big time.” Willow confirmed, trying hard to stop herself from getting totally lost in the memory. It had all happened so quickly yet it played back in her mind in slow motion: the way he gently placed his hands on her cheek and the soft way he looked into her eyes and the way his voice got low and serious and quivered slightly before he leaned down to pull her closer and the way her heart felt like it was going to fly out of her chest when he-

“And I don’t even remember it?!” Hunter practically shouted, his voice echoing in the empty gallery room. “Why don’t I remember it???”

Willow snapped out her daze and turned to the distressed Hunter in front of her. “Oh, well you got hit pretty hard on the head from what Darius told me and there’s a few gaps from that day. Like you said you didn’t remember how you got back to the Owl House, right?”

“Well yeah but I think I would remember something as important as our first kiss!” He exclaimed, worried his forgetfulness could offend her.

“You don’t even remember saving the world, so I think it’s safe to say the importance of the memory isn’t a factor on whether you remember it or not.”

“I mean was it... okay?” he asked, taking his hand back so he could nervously rub them together, averting his eyes to the ground.

“It was,” she said, rocking on her heels. “It was very okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“You want me to show you?”

Hunter froze. He didn’t expect to walk into this already falling behind. Any confidence he had before had completely vanished now. At least he didn’t have to worry that Willow didn’t want to kiss him, now he could worry about whether Willow regretted kissing him or not. He found himself in the odd position of being jealous of himself, how had that Hunter pulled it off and how was he supposed to compete with him?

“Ha ha, I uh...” Hunter tried to find the words. “I’m sorry, I just can’t believe I don’t remember it.”

“Well then, I guess you also don’t remember that I was mad at you.”

“What? Why?”

“Well after you kissed me I said ‘that better not be because you don’t plan on coming back’ and then your face turned red and you teleported away and I didn’t know if it was because you were overwhelmed or if I had gotten it right.”

“Yeah, that sounds like me,” he said. “I’m guessing I didn’t apologize, did I?”

“Well, kind of?” she said with a sigh. “When everything was finally over I was looking everywhere for you. I didn’t know if you were okay or if you had... anyway, I was calling your name and I couldn’t see very well because my glasses had gotten broken at some point. I was trying not to freak out but everything was so crazy and no one knew where you were but then... I heard you call my name back. Then I turned around and I saw you and you ran over to me and scooped me into your arms and squeezed me and spun me around. I was so happy to see you that I started crying and I said I was so glad you came back and then you wiped the tears from my eyes and said ‘me too’ and then... you kissed me again.” Willow recalled the sorry with a vibrant blush, her voice faded as though lost in a grand dream as more tiny flowers appeared in her hair.

Hunter was speechless. He was flabbergasted. But most of all he was upset. His eyes and jaw were open wide with surprise.

“I did that?” He said slowly, still feeling as though he had been listening to a retelling of an iconic tale and not an account of his own actions. Willow merely sighed and nodded as Hunter’s fury grew. “But the last thing I remember is waking up in the Owl House and everyone said... I thought I knew... but how can…we’ve kissed twice??? Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Well it’s a delicate thing to bring up,” said Willow. “A lot was going on and things were moving quickly and I didn’t know if maybe your feelings had changed. I didn’t want you to feel pressured in case you were embarrassed or something.”

“Embarrassed? You thought I’d be embarrassed? Oh Titan, was I that bad of a kisser?” Hunter panicked, as he grabbed his hair with his hands.

“No no, I mean embarrassed about kissing me.” Willow explained as she brought his arms down, trying to reel him back.

“Why would I be embarrassed about kissing you? It's literally all I’ve been able to think about!”

“Well, yeah I know that now,” she said, thinking how silly everything was.”But when everything was over and you didn’t mention it I thought maybe you had done it out of nerves and weren’t really ready. I didn’t realize you had forgotten it until you told me that you liked me and I was like ‘well yeah, I sure hope so.’”

“You’ve gotta be kidding,” Hunter said in disbelief “This is a joke, right? One of those prank things that Gus likes?”

Willow shook her head.

“Well did you... like that I kissed you?” asked Hunter sheepishly. “Like, are sure the only reason you didn’t bring it up was because-.”

“Hunter,” said Willow simply. “I promise, it was wonderful. It was perfect and super romantic.”

“Well now I’ve done it,” he groaned. “That is super romantic! How in Titan’s name am I supposed to top that??”

“You don’t have to top anything! If you want-.”

“What if I’ve forgotten how to do it? No, I didn’t forget; I never knew how. Well, apparently I did for like a minute but I’m sure you’ll be able to tell the difference and then what if it’s worse because we’re not risking our lives? I mean, I’ve always worked best under pressure but this just doesn’t seem fair-.”

“Hunter, are you sure you don’t need to lay down?” Willow asked as she led him to a bench in front of a wildflower mural, but as they sat he continued to spiral.

“I had it all planned out and then Gus got into my head about ‘what if the plan didn’t go smoothly’ and so I thought of a back up and then he said I would just know the right moment and a lot of moments seemed right but then I thought what if an even more right moment came and I should’ve waited and it would’ve been-.”

“What moments?”

“Like the time we were all watching the stars and you held my hand the whole time and you put your head on my shoulder and I wanted to then but everyone was around and i didn’t know if you’d be okay with that and I hadn’t even told you I liked you yet and if you said no I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable and then you’d leave and you looked so pretty in the moonlight-.”

“Aw,” said Willow, resting her head on his shoulder as another flower appeared in her hair. “When else did you wanna kiss me?”

“Um, last week after I had dinner at your house and you walked me home and you were telling me about your Cosmic Frontier theories and you started quoting the scene from when Ivy and O’Bailey are looking for the power source and you said the line she says before they kiss and you paused and I thought that was you waiting for me- “

“I was.”

“-and it seemed perfect but then I remembered I had garlic on my dish and I didn’t have a mint or anything so I was worried my breath smelled bad and you wouldn’t tell me and you would have an awful time and would never wanna kiss me again. And then we were still pretty close to your house and I was paranoid your dads would see and I don’t know why but I’m weirdly scared of them.

“Well they adore you,” said WIllow, brushing a lose hair behind his ear as she allowed Hunter to burn himself out.

“So then I thought: ‘I should stop waiting for the moment and make my own moment, that way nothing can go wrong.’”

“You had something planned?”

“I was gonna fill some jars with fireflies and bring them to the gazebo you liked that had the vines around the sides. And we would sit on the steps and you’d say you were cold and I’d bring out the jacket I made for you and I dunno I'd say something cool when I helped you put it on and you’d be so impressed and and you’d wanna kiss me which I know sounds of-.”

“How can you plan on me being cold?”

“Well, because you’re always cold,” he said simply. “That’s why you were always asking to hold my hand, right? Cause you said yours were cold.”

“Well, that’s maaaaybe a little bit of a lie I’d say because I just wanted to hold your hand.” she laughed, taking his hand to prove her point. “So why haven’t we been to the gazebo?”

“Well, it turns out that while gazebos are fairly romantic tiny buildings, they’re also city property, so I’d need to make a reservation if I wanted to alter it in any way. So, I went down to city hall to fill out a form and actually in about two months-.”

He cut himself off, noticing the amount of flowers now occupying Willow’s hair. This had happened before, and he knew her powers were linked to her emotions but he just didn’t know exactly what she was feeling. He held his breath in case he was making her uncomfortable.

“Go on.” Willow prompted, rested her cheek on his shoulder, her eyes locked on him.

“I feel like I’m talking too much.”

“No no, keep going,” she said, wrapping her arms tighter around his arm. “Tell me about other times you wanted to kiss me.”

“Well, uh,” Hunter gulped. “Then there was about five minutes ago.”

“I remember that,” said Willow with a smile as she inched closer. “But I think that ones on me.”

“And then, that time when it was raining,” Hunter started, but found himself also drifting closer and his eyes felt heavy. He noticed at some point she had reapplied her lip gloss.

“I remember that time,” said Willow softly. “What about right-.”

But Willow never got her answer, as she was cut off by Hunter lips on hers. Unlike the two only she remembered, it was brief. He darted forward (it was easy since her face was already so close) and pressed his lips against her in a shaky fast kiss. It was more of a peck, technically, but just like the other two it left Willow speechless for a moment. She couldn’t think of a better interruption as flowers started violently sprouting all over her head.

Hunter pulled back and saw her looking at him with wide eyes and suddenly his galderstone heart was in his throat and he just knew his face was red again as he leaned back and covered his mouth with his hand, shocked by his boldness.

“Oh my Titan! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have interrupted you! That was rude. That’s exactly what I was worried about, oh I-I can't believe I would just think to-.”

Willow pulled him back down by the collar of his shirt and cut him off by returning the favor, giving him a taste of his own medicine in a longer, slightly deeper kiss. He closed his eyes and instinctively brought up his hand to the side of her face to caress her cheek lost in a wonderful sense of deja vu as he kissed her back.

“There,” she declared, trying to catch her breath as she released him, relishing in the same smitten expression slapped across his face as before. “Now we’re even.”

Hunter’s face was an absolute tomato. Willow giggled as he mouth spread into a big dopey grin. “Hehe, okay,” he giggled in a low, breathless voice before clearing his throat. “Um, well not technically. I’m pretty sure you’re still two ahead of me.”

“Well then, it looks like you have some catching up to do,” she said, leaning up to gently kiss the top of his nose. She hopped onto her feet and offered her hand to him to bring him off the bench. She laced their fingers together and Hunter felt as though he was floating rather than walking as she lead him to the next room.

“Oh, is it a competition now?” He asked playfully, raising his eyebrow.

Willow nodded and used their linked hands to bring him down to her and kiss his cheek and safely secured the lead. But she could tell that despite his competitive nature, Hunter wouldn’t mind coming in second for this. Willow smiled, sharing the thought.

“Good thing you rented that gazebo, huh?”

#huntlowweek2022 #huntlowweek #huntlow week #huntlow #winter toh #willow park #Hunter toh #toh #the owl house

105 notes · View notes

technodromes · 6 months

Text

ꜱᴇɴꜱᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪꜰɪᴄ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

WHAT DOES YOUR MUSE SMELL LIKE? You see a talking bubblegum, but if you expect a sweet smell from sniffing on him, you'll get severely disappointed. Krang's slimy skin adopted a very distinct metallic scent. He's spending a lot of time in machine rooms around engines (which sometimes tend to blow up), plus the fact he always sits inside android bodies or walkers of sorts. His skin quickly adopts any strong scents he's surrounded with though, so if someone locks him inside a perfume store, they'll have a migraine ball. WHAT DO YOUR MUSE’S HANDS FEEL LIKE? "You fool! I don't even have any hands!" His tentacles just feel the same as the rest of his body. Like grabbing a wet jelly or an earthworm on a rainy day, while his slime is like that of a big snail. He does work with his tentacles sometimes, but not remotely as much as Subprime for example. He relies a lot on his mandroid, so his tentacles are as soft as the rest of his body. WHAT DOES YOUR MUSE USUALLY EAT IN A DAY? Whatever he gets his tentacles at in between work. And yes, that includes bugs. But usually, he asks Shredder to bring Takeaway home for all of them ("Since you're using my Alien Express Card all the time ANYWAY!") He doesn't really have any favorite foods he indulges into all the time, but there are rare occasions when he actually does feel little cravings. Most of them are really random and sometimes weird. DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE A GOOD SINGING VOICE? Hell no. Don't ever ask Krang to sing. He WILL sing if someone asks him because he thinks he's actually skilled at it. Everyone involved will run out of the room with their ears bleeding. That's why Shredder will shut everyone up before they can even finish suggesting it. ("Are you trying to kill us all?!") DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE ANY BAD HABITS OR NERVOUS TICKS? He mumbles and has these burbling 'hiccups'. The more he's in thought or nervous about something, the more indistinct it gets. If he's greatly nervous, his burbling mumbles become nigh impossible to understand if someone isn't used to the way he talks. WHAT DOES YOUR MUSE USUALLY LOOK LIKE / WEAR? Let's see. He wears a giant baby-faced android with red speedos. I don't think anyone ever wants any fashion advice from this blob. IS YOUR MUSE AFFECTIONATE? HOW SO? More than he wants to admit? The Technodrome is full of walking cacti (one of them is literally a cactus on two legs), who all say they don't care, but they often do care. Very aggressively so. But on a more serious note here, Krang is very dependent in the first place, and sometimes he embraces that more than on other days. He likes being cared for and getting pampered with attention and affection to a degree, tho he hates getting belittled and looked down upon. Never mind, he's not a cactus, he's a weird naked cat. WHAT POSITION DOES YOUR MUSE SLEEP IN? You know catloafs. Now I present you the Utromloaf. He naps curled up in a pink soft slimy ball inside his walker or on satin pillows because he likes being extra. He's also drifted off into his little meditative naps on laps before. Preferably Shredder, but he likes Clarissa's lap too. @dynamoprotocol. Or Rick, if they two are not too busy arguing. @countlessrealities COULD YOU HEAR YOUR MUSE IN THE HALLWAY FROM ANOTHER ROOM? You bet you hear him if he's inside his walker or mandroid. He does try his hardest to be sneaky but it's kinda difficult inside these huge chunks of steel. Actually, you'll hear him when he's without a vehicle too because he'll yell around loudly and angrily for someone to pick him up. Menacing energy? 10. Stealth? 0.

Tagged: repost from last year Tagging: whoever wants to fill this out as well=)

#Headcanons: Krang #Headcanon Repost

4 notes · View notes

goldstargloww · 1 year

Text

hi :D i'm gold, just a random blob you encountered on the internet :>

this blog used to be @starglowwos (our collective blog), but seeing as this is my account's main blog and mainly i use it, i've decided to move @starglowwos to a sideblog. also, here's all my links!

i use they/vae/void/ender/it pronouns, among others, but if you need to, just they/it is fine! i enjoy variation but no need to go out of your way to do so :>

i'm neurodivergent, queer, plural, and alterhuman, and a lot more (and if you don't know what some of those mean, don't worry about it! feel free to ask tho)

this is a blog for whatever i feel like talking about, really, which as of now tends to be mcyt and isat! my current special interest is the life series/traffic lives im pretty sure lmao, and i'm hyperfixated on in stars and time. as for mcyt, i very much enjoy the life series, hermitcraft, rats smp, pirates smp, and probably some other stuff.

speaking of fandom things, i do in fact do fanart! if any creators see my stuff, (thinking mcyt specifically) feel free to name drop or show my stuff on stream :D (keep in mind this blog isn't necessarily pg)

i do a lot of art in general! here's my ao3 and artfight if you're curious. also, reminder that nothing i make is ever okay to use to train AI models, prompt AI models, create NFTs with, or anything similar.

other than that, i enjoy liomogai stuff and i'm tangentially in the warrior cats fandom, and i very much enjoy omori! i'll try to remember to tag that stuff seeing as its a horror game

i make emojis over at @emojistargloww, all my art gets reblogged to @artstargloww, and i do liomogai things at @liomstargloww. i also run @isat-emoji-archive and help run @mcyt-emoji-archive!

i'd also like to say go check out my mallowfriends they're very cool :> @thecardinalcoven @milo-handsoftime

more detail in things under the cut :D

interacting with me

here's some notes on interacting with me, if you find that helpful!

dms are always fine! just explain why you're dming me instead of just saying "hi" or something

feel free to @ me pretty much anywhere!

when it comes to tone tags, i essentially mirror your usage. if they help you, go ahead and use em! if you want me to use em, go ahead and ask! if i'm not sure, i'll usually use the common ones like /j /srs /gen /lh, but otherwise i'll just clarify what i mean :>

squicks, warnings, and censoring

i don't really have many common triggers, so don't worry about triggering me - i do prefer warnings though in some situations!

note that this list does not contain anything that seriously would trigger me. it's dangerous to give that information out and i am aware. don't worry about accidentally triggering me, and don't purposefully try to do so.

warning that i will be talking about common triggers and squicks here!

common things like bugs and other small animals like snails don't bother me

flashes and eyestrain don't need censoring for the most part, but if it's a flashy thing (especially if it autoplays), warnings would be nice

i do need volume warnings though, please warn me for volume ^^

horror generally doesn't need any warning with me, except for maybe jumpscares and realistic horror, if you'd like.

things like suicide and self harm generally don't need censoring, but i don't mind a warning

if you're talking to a headmate of mine who you know may be triggered by something, it's usually a good idea to at least warn for that, just in case

i appreciate warnings for mentions/talk of removal of devices and restrictions on them (like screen time limits or phone lockers)

swearing and the like is completely fine by me ^^

images, videos, and other media

for videos, a video description would be really helpful for me! there's a lot of times that i can't watch videos in posts (clips, for an example—longer youtube videos i can make time for) and video descriptions are really helpful for me! to anyone who does this, thank you :>

image descriptions are also helpful, especially for text in an image. i can see the image fine under normal circumstances, but especially for things that might be hard to visually understand or to get without context, they can help a lot

audio descriptions of audio files could also be helpful (like, if talking, a transcript would be helpful for me as a form of captions—but if it's just music or something, there's no need)

oh, and for me, there's no need to make them entirely screenreader compatible as i don't use a screenreader, but it is good practice to regardless for those who do and for general accessibility :>

i try to do all of these things, but things like image ids are hard for me sometimes. i do video transcripts (with small descriptions of what's happening if needed for context) and audio transcripts fine though, for the most part! if you want to help me with accessibility on any of my posts, feel free to do so, i'd appreciate it ^^ if you do i'll probably add it to the original post :>

tagging system

my tagging system is a bit of a mess lmao, but here's the system ill try to be using

c:/sgos - any post by me or the brain beings

c:/sgos/user/[name] - a post by [name] (one of the brain beings—most things will be from me, gold), or intended for them if it's a reblog

c:/sgos/groups/[name] - anything for or by a group of brain beings

c:/sgos/talking - probably me just ranting honestly. probably about traffic lives

c:/sgos/creations/art - any art by me

c:/sgos/creations/animatic - animatics i've made

c:/sgos/creations/apmv - AMVs/PMVs i've made

c:/sgos/creations/writing - if i happen to post any writing, it'll be tagged as this

c:/sgos/creations/commissions - anything i was commissioned to make (i have commissions btw! dm me for info!)

c:/sgos/creations/skins - minecraft skins i've made

c:/sgos/creations/coding - code i've made

c:/sgos/creations/emote - emotes over at @emojistargloww

c:/sgos/creations/term - terms over at @liomstargloww

c:/sgos/creations/flag - flags over at @liomstargloww

c:/sgos/creations/other - any other creations i dont have a tag for

c:/sgos/projects/[name] - a project, such as an animatic/amv/pmv, that i'm working on

c:/sgos/quotes - i collect silly/weird quotes. they go here

c:/sgos/clips - stuff i've clipped

c:/sgos/asks - asks i've answered

c:/sgos/my asks - me reblogging things i've asked/requested

c:/sgos/saved - things i've saved for myself

c:/sgos/saved/btgbr - things saved for characterization reasoning, usually :>

more serious stuff - stuff that's more serious that you might want to filter out in case you don't wanna see it right now

heavier stuff - same as last one but for stuff that's more emotionally heavy

here's how i do warnings

cw [x] - warning for [x] (ex: cw eyestrain) (i don't use tw)

[x] spoilers - warning for spoilers for [x] (ex: limited life spoilers)

[x] slur - warning for [x] slur (ex: f slur)

[x] word - warning for [x] word (ex: fr word)

[x]phobia warning - warning for [x]phobia (ex: trypophobia warning)

eyestrain - eyestrain warning

flash warning - warning for flashing or fast moving visuals

paranoia trigger - warning for something that might trigger paranoia

#c:/sgos #pinned post #for searching purposes >#c:/sgos/talking #c:/sgos/saved #fic #c:/sgos/creations #c:/sgos/asks #c:/sgos/saved/btgbr

5 notes · View notes

buggysmalls69 · 10 months

Text

Well I'd best explain myself.

Hey. It's milk ✌️

If you know me from being moots elsewhere.. Hi! This is my special interest blog. A real rebloggy blog. For reblogging. And talking about my interests if I feel like it!

Current interests:

In no particular order

- Figures ✨

I collect figures. I have like well over 300 at this point. I don't keep track anymore and this one is slowly but surely subsiding. I will always adore figures and collecting them though. My figures make my room a safe place for my senses. They're all so pretty 💖

- Pokémon 🌈

Oh my god an autistic person who likes Pokémon it's a miracle. Yeah. I started playing Pokémon when I was 3, so 18 years going strong. I originally preferred the toys and cards, but heart gold and soul silver converted me and then I became a mega fan. Tracking releases, learning lore, creating fanart. Mind you I was like 7. There's a deviantart account out there from when I was 6? and yeah that shit Sure Is (you can try and find it I don't really care anymore jfjsjfjg). Anyway!!! Faves are cleffa, whimsicott, blaziken, galvantula, giratina, mimikyu and Registeel. Faves by proxy include lapras, torkoal, lilligant, gengar, rayquaza, mudkip and ledyba. Fave humans are Iono, Caitlyn, Lillie (LillieMoon 💖💖💖), Ingo and Emmet, Allister, N, Erika and Elesa. Gen 5 is currently my favourite but I have played gen 5 a LOT the past few years and a lot of my faves are gen 5. I attended both the Pokémon center pop up in London in 2018, and EUIC 2024 in London, also for the Pokémon center lmao. I have a cleffa tattoo also!!! Planning on getting a large majority of my faves tattooed at some point.

- Bugs 🐛

Woo big surprise it/they user enjoys bugs. My favourites are moths, exact favourites being hummingbird hawk moths and Madagascan sunset moths. Also a huge fan of weevils, worms, snails, beetles, bees and butterflies! I hope to have a butterfly collection one day in frames :3

Hatsune Miku.

- One piece ☠️

Pretty new one but yeah, I'm caught up so I spend a LOT of time thinking about them damn pirates. Faves in no order are Zoro, Luffy, Usopp, Sanji, Robin, Perona, Mihawk, Law, Corazon, Ace, Yamato, Katakuri, Crocodile, Buggy, Doflamingo, Lucci, Okiku, and Big Mom.

- No but for reals Miku 🎧

Fun fact! I've been a Miku fan since 2010. That's 14 years baby!! My first vocaloid songs that I remember hearing are nyan cat (duh), world is mine, Romeo and Cinderella, butterfly on your right shoulder, gugurekasu, and my all time fave, corruption garden. Absolutely underrated banger. This should be a general vocaloid section really because my favourite cryptonloids are Kaito, Luka and Miku and then my favourite non cryptonloids are Meika Mikoto, Lily, Nekomura Iroha, PoUta, Teto and Luo Tianyi! My favourite producers are PinocchioP, Neru, Giga, Kira, Iroha(sasuki) and OwataP!

I went to Miku expo in London 2018, 2020 and I am going in 2024!!! A selection from my personal wishlist for London 2024 setlist :

Paradichlorobenzene - OwataP 💛

Kokoro - Toraboruta 🧡

Kunoichi Demo Koi ga Shitai - MikitoP 🩵🧡

Digital Girl - Kira 🩵

Break it, Break it! - E.L.V.N ❤️

Non Breath Oblige - PinnochioP 🩵

Erase or Zero - crystalP 💛💙

-Minecraft 🌲

Yeah yeah you can laugh all you want. I've been consuming Minecraft since it came out, and I've played it for 10 whole years. I got pc edition 5 years ago now (INSANE). I love Minecraft. I tend to play just random mods shoved in a folder, but I do play with friends sometimes!!! If anyone ever wants to play please tell me I will kiss you.

NON SPECIAL INTERESTS BUT VERY IMPORTANT TO MY IDENTITY

-Dinosaurs (since I was like 4)

-Sanrio (as long as I can remember)

-Animals

-Anime in general

-Art (lotta A's huh)

-Shitty adult cartoons (south park, family guy, American dad, I have encyclopedic knowledge of all 3 and I can recall every episode. I also know family guy season 4 word for word :3)

-Sitcoms (Actually enjoy: Two and a half men, modern family, young Sheldon kinda, does house count? It should. Encyclopedic knowledge: Big Bang Theory, Two and a half men, Frasier, Friends)

THE "SOMETIMES" SPECIAL INTEREST

- Five Nights at Freddys 🐻

I know, I'm so cool. This game has had its dirty grip on me since it came out. Basically I hate it but every time a new game comes out I can't help but go on a self destructive info absorb and I watch like 6 hour video essays on the new lore and implications. It's fun I like fnaf silly Creachure. My fave is the puppet because I'm non binary haha.

-UNDERTALE ❤️

I pretty much tick all the boxes for middle school anxiety huh. Yeah undertale is a beautiful masterpiece and every few years I'll have a mega "aaaaa undertale" phase where I'll just do nothing but play and consume undertale content. I've played the game through at least like 10 times? A few of each ending. I'm still really bad at sans fight.

-Animal Crossing 🐾

I think everyone should have this one. Occasionally I'll just be like "hm being an adult in the real world isn't really what I wanted right now" so I play animal crossing until oops 6 hours passed. I'll then play for about a week before putting it down again. I tend to stick with new horizons, just because it has the best gameplay. Also BUGS heheshhfksjgh. Fave villagers are Lily, Eugene, Beardo, Judy, Merengue, Lolly, Merry and Marina. I also love Flick and Celeste.

Kinning!!

Yeahhh I kin some bitches. Big deal.

- Yamada Ryo

The big one. She's just me for real for real. I love her for realsies. Also um hi bocchi kinnies.

- Rina Tennoji

She's so fucking autistic. I also struggle with expression (fluctuates between under and over!).

- Kokoro Tsurumaki

Genki. I have made it my personal goal to make people happy in recent years and it's really helped my own mental health

- Madoka Kaname

😳🩷🖤

- Kirby

Small, Round, Pink, Poyo

- Flandre Scarlet

Tiny Creachure clinging to childhood (with a dash of trauma).

- Kanna Kamui

I just, deep down. I experience friendship the exact way Kanna does. I have no concept of boundaries. I will crawl into your bed at night.

- Stocking

Sweets, hypersexual, kinky, goth, chubby. Me.

- Yamato

Oblivious, love friend so much, bad family relationships.

- Kuromi

*cough cough* *straightens paper* Although Kuromi may look and act tough and punk, she is actually very girly and is attracted to good-looking guys. That is all.

And yeah I think that's pretty much it. Obviously this post will get updated as regularly as it needs it. Hope u enjoy my silly content!!!

#figures #bugs #pokemon #hatsune miku #one piece #Minecraft #Dinosaurs #Sanrio #Milkytalk #updated 8/7/24

4 notes · View notes

bimbosandbubbles · 1 year

Text

✮⤷About me!

✰⤷My name is Vannah but everyone I know really calls me Nonnies! So both is just perfect if you’re having trouble deciding what to call me!:)

✰⤷ I adore the color orange,it’s my fav! I also love the fruit plus the mixed versions like tangerines or clementines! I love crunchy grapes and mint chocolate chip ice cream! I’m absolutely obsessed with chinchillas and snails! Seriously,do yourself and search up snails eating it’s the cutest thing ever! I am obsessed with dilfs! Ugh or big muscley men or just skinny men,tbh any man that’s kinda cute. AND OMG MEN WITH BIG NOSES🤭

✰⤷ I’m kind of shy and awkward especially when I know for a fact that a lot of people are cooler than me! Like omg people on here are so cool and such good writers! Plus ya’lls creativity to the themes of your blogs! Because I’m awkward though I tend to not talk to people because I’m afraid they won’t like me but I’m definitely gonna out of my shell to talk you to guys! I definitely need to be y’all’s friends!

✰⤷ Speaking of friends, part of the reason I came on here in the first place is to make friends! Once I turned 18, I downloaded this app and saw how so many creator have such a good community full of moots! I was just kind of a stalker blog who just read other people’s works! However,due to the lack of cared for chubby reader content I decided to try my hand at writing fics!

✰⤷ I’m racially black and ethically Haitian and Puerto Rican! Both of my parents are also the same ethnic mix as me so I find that pretty cool! However despite my Caribbean ethnicities I can’t speak a word of Creole or Spanish and when I attempt to my family just laughs at me（◞‸◟）. So the only language I can really speak is English. I know I’m not the only person who loves their culture(s) but don’t really know too much about them like language or traditions.

✰⤷ I’m a huge fat nerd! Literally,love talking about comics or manga! I love Marvel and Dc and obvi Animanga. I really like Shonens,Seinens and Josei! Especially Josei! I had a whole Nana and Princess Jellyfish phase til age 16. My favs seinens change a lot but Berserk and Real are most def up there for me. Shonens are Fullmetal Alchemist and JJBA! I’m literally obsessed with JJBA and omg before I used to be worse. I had a huge TR phase for months too! And super random but does anyone else struggle with understanding manga fights? I always just end up making up my own fights tbh.

✰⤷ My biggest fear is not being able to finish anything or being less than! And for some reason things crawling on me really terrify me.

✰⤷ I’m obsessed with music! Every single pair of headphones I own don’t get super loud anymore cause I busted them up by having the volume super loud all the time! But I can’t help it,I need songs to literally be shoved up inside my ears otherwise I don’t want it! But majority of the time I just like to have it on for background noise when I’m doing homework or something. I also love podcasts especially book or movie/show recaps or true crime.

✰⤷ Ok so,I feel like I over shared a lot so this is the end of my about me! Love you bookieee! Thank you for reading!

Ps-Please be my friend if you’re similar to me or get what I’m saying 🧎🏽‍♀️

Ps to my Ps- I’m really affectionate and call everyone nicknames out of habit. I use bookie or babygirl(as a joke I swear guys) a lot!

#blog #writing

3 notes · View notes

darklingichor · 13 days

Text

1144 Random, Interesting & Fun Facts You Need To Know, by Scott Matthews

Got a little bored so it's trivia time!

Humans only make up 48% of users on the Internet. The other 52% of web traffic are bots (pg 15)

Going to remember this the next time someone says something mean to someone online. "You are just a bot, some some one made to sell rotary phones" just think how annoyed that would make a troll? Saying that they aren't real and that ultimately their purpose is to sell something most people wouldn't want.

According to scientists, the weight of the average cloud is the same as 100 elephants. (Pg 31)

I've read this or something like it a few times before and every time I think of that scene in Avatar: The Last Airbender where they are in the desert and Aang bends a cloud for drinking water and he says that there wasn't much water in it. I know, I know it's an animated series about manipulating elements, but, that cloud should have had more water in it!

There's a company named Neurowear that sells a headphone that can read your brainwaves and selects music based off your state of mind. (Pg 49)

This sounds awful. Besides, my headphones can barely read the waves coming from my phone, they keep wanting to connect to my neighbor's TV or something. I don't want my headphones to pick up someone else's brainwaves and play The Song That Never Ends, on a loop or something!

There's a movie from 2010 called “Rubber,” about a murderous car tire named Robert that rolls around killing people and blowing things up. (Pg 52)

The funniest part of this to me is that the Tire is named Robert.

The word “jay” used to be used as slang for a dull or stupid person so when anyone ignored traffic regulations and crossed roads illegally, the person would be called a “jay walker.” (pg 83)

When I was a kid, I thought it referred to the fact that you weren't walking on the crosswalk which is in a straight line. You were taking a not straight route, maybe curved in someway from the crosswalk, like a J. So Jaywalking.

The average person will fall asleep in just seven minutes. (pg 98.)

Where are these average people?

Snails can sleep for up to three years (pg 98)

Do they fall asleep in 7 minutes?

#Book #books #book blogging 2024 #1144 Random #Interesting & Fun Facts You Need To Know #Scott Matthews

1 note · View note

alynicoleee · 6 months

Text

Beginning of Forever: Chapter Eighteen

Title: Beginning of Forever (Chapter 18) Pairing: Tim Lincecum / OFC POV: Third Person - Tim Lincecum Rating: PG-13

Tim walked around his dad's house and noticed that his dad had set up a few Christmas knick knacks around the place. His dad had never been one for decorating - their holidays had mostly been meek and quiet, just the two of them for many years.

Tim had wished Alyssa a happy thanksgiving and she had responded back, stating that she hoped he had a nice time with his family. He sat in the kitchen island drinking coffee when his dad walked him.

"Good Morning Tim".

"Good Morning Dad. I like the Christmas details starting to pop up."

"Thanks. I thought I'd add something to cheer up the place a little."

Tim nodded and stared into his cup.

"You okay son?"

Tim looked up and sighed. He hadn't talked about Alyssa to anyone, but kind of wanted to.

"When did you know you were ready to move on? After Mom left?"

Tim and his father's situation wasn't the same. His wife had passed away after they had been together for ten years. While his mom had left his father one day after they had been together for over fifteen years. They had both lost their partner but in significantly different ways. He knew it wasn't the same - but maybe his dad would be able to offer some sort of perspective.

Tim's father, Chris, sighed. "I don't know if there was ever a point where I said - I'm ready. Now is the time. For a few years there I lived vicariously through you, through your career, so I didn't really have time to even think about a relationship. I want to say that it was once I stopped missing your mother, once the empty feeling went away. I think that's when I knew I was ready."

Chris paused waiting for a response from Tim. When he didn't get one he continued, "Are you thinking that time is moving too slow? Or maybe too fast? There's no definitive time table here. No one can tell you if it's too soon or not soon enough. Only you'll know when the time is right. If it feels right."

Tim had been listening to his dad and looked back down into his cup. "I met someone. And I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to go and start something but then other times I feel guilty, like I'm moving on too fast."

Chris sat down next Tim and placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay to feel guilty. But Cristin wouldn't want you to dwell and be alone forever. She'd want you to be happy and find love again."

"I know. And I tell myself that Cristin would be okay with my moving on, but then I'll go a few days where I don't even think of her, and that's when I begin to feel guilty. And I know that's not fair. To me, to her memory, or even to the woman I met."

"You want to tell me about her? Or is that prying into something that you don't even know where it stands right now."

"You know it's never prying Dad. And I always value your input. You know Drew and Sean were down in Miami in late October. Drew being Drew decided he'd download one of those dating apps on my phone and set me up with a profile. I didn't think I was even going to use it but I did. For the most part the app was pretty mundane, matches didn't really go anywhere - but than I matched with this one woman - Alyssa. I think what made it different with her was that she seemed so relaxed and nonchalant right from the beginning. And she knew exactly who I was - but never made a big deal out of. In fact, even now I don't think she's ever mentioned anything about my playing days. She knew who I was but treated me like just another random match. I liked that."

Tim moved to put his cup in the sink as he continued talking, "We went out twice and the connection was incredible. It felt like I had known her my whole life and then I got scared that everything was feeling right and maybe moving too fast. So I kind of back tracked and we started over, going slower. But sometimes I feel like it's a snail pace, but I don't want it to feel rushed either. But she's amazing. She's giving me space and time to figure everything out, but I don't know if that's even fair to her and I don't want to hurt her either.

Tim sighed as he leaned against the countertop and waited for his dad to tell him something he didn't want to hear, but instead Chris just sat and responded, "Son, good things are allowed to happen to you too. And they don't need to be difficult, or hard or come with sacrifices. They can just be."

#baseball rpf #ofc #fan fic #fan fiction #fanfiction #fanfic

0 notes

liecoris · 1 year

Text

For a moment, Mukuro couldn’t believe that she had missed her own birthday until she actually looked more at the date on her phone as she waited for the water to boil on the stove。 At first, she just read the date a few times before it finally clicked。

She had forgotten her own birthday again。 Mukuro would probably be a bit more upset about the fact that she had missed the day if she had people around her that would care about said date。

Casting a quick glance over to the pot, it was getting close to boiling but she had enough time to get herself a drink。 Pushing away from the counter, Mukuro went over to the fridge and got out a bottle of beer, popping the cap off using the countertop as she went back to her previous position and instead of a feeling of boredom filling her, she could feel some depression beginning to well up in her。

Pushing out another sigh, Mukuro shut off the stove top, having lost her appetite, she’ll focus her energy on getting fucked up instead。

Anything to get rid of the negative feelings inside her。

As she proceeded to leave the kitchen, Mukuro took a quick pit stop by the fridge and got out the case of beer。 Gently setting the bottles on the coffee table, Mukuro flipped her TV on to a random channel and began channel surfing for a little bit before settling on some random documentary about sea life。 Settling on the couch, Mukuro took small sips from her beer at first and just zoned out at her TV as it played。

When her mind began wandering and memories of a much happier time started to play in her mind, Mukuro’s gentle sips turned into chugs and her first bottle quickly finished and she was on her second bottle。 With a nice buzz coursing through her body, Mukuro closed her eyes and tried to think of something else, anything else, but the more she tried not to think about the memories, the more they came flooding in。

With her second beer becoming a third and fourth beer, Mukuro’s mind was a haze now, keeping her eyes closed in order to prevent the room from spinning too much。 At least concentrating on not vomiting helped distract her from the memories that tried to invade her mind。 However, Mukuro knew this would only be a momentary fix, she’d either need more drink or some pills in order to fully distract her from her mind。

Slowly, she’d rise to her feet, careful not to go too fast as she’d make her way to her master bathroom from the living room。 As Mukuro made her way through her home at a snail’s pace, she’d continue to debate if this was a good idea, she knew to mix uppers and downers was never a good thing but she really wanted to feel nothing right now and if mixing substances was the only way to get there, then she’ll gladly to do it。

Hell, it’s not like anyone would swing by to check on her if something were to happen。

Her gaze was kept to the floor as she walked the familiar path, stopping only when her vision became blurry when the tears began to well up。 With a hand on the wall, Mukuro slowly slid down the wall until her knees hit the ground, she didn’t stop any tears from falling as she leaned her head against the wall, her mind filling with questions asking herself what would, if he was still around, her fiancé would think if he knew she was doing this to herself？ He would be more than disappointed with her, and that thought alone, the image of the sad and disappointed look in his eyes was what really released the floodgates and what started as a few tears in the hall now morphed into body-wracking sobs。

Mukuro didn’t know when she had fallen asleep, but she was sore and very exhausted, which was to be expected, passing out on a wooden floor。 Hungry and hungover, Mukuro groaned as she stood up, feeling her muscles and joints protesting as she rose。 With a hand on the wall, Mukuro made her way back into the kitchen, stopping momentarily to look at herself in a hallway mirror, grimacing at the image of herself; unkempt hair, an absolutely exhausted expression, and an overall even more disgusting appearance。

Surely a look that matched exactly how she felt on the inside。

Clicking her tongue, Mukuro walked away after one final glare at herself。

#»» drabble. || 🦊 — ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴅʀɪɴᴋꜱ ᴛᴏ ɴᴜᴍʙ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛᴀᴄʜᴇ.#»» ᴠɪꜱɪᴏɴ ꜱʜᴏᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴘɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ. || 🐍 — main verse.#alcohol abuse cw #pill abuse cw #long post #»» queue. || ✨ — ʟɪᴇ∙qᴜᴇᴜᴇɪꜱ.

1 note · View note

shylittlefrogg · 2 years

Text

Sometimes I have my normal behavior

Sometimes I don't want to talk even if they threaten me.

Sometimes I want to nonsensically say "wow! Snails are great" to someone and then start blurting out all the information my brain has stored about snails and their intricate ways of appearing after a light rain.

#This is me currently #my brain decided to vibrate with the snails today because I just saw at least four giant snails #Anyone want a random fact about snails?#shittylittlefrog #snails

4 notes · View notes

empress-simps · 3 years

Note

it is i, your friendly neighborhood 'squishy cheeks' requester!! upon this gorgeous day, i have arrived to tell you how much i loved my squishy cheeks reader ask!!! it was amazing i think my heart skipped like 10 beats!!! (´ε｀ )

so with that, may i request again a scenario with gn!reader(and yuuji, megumi and gojo) who had just woken up from a bad dream and goes to ✨the boys✨ for comfort? but they just end up talking for hours and hours until it's literally morning? imagine the others walking to their dorm and hearing these two idiots talking about snail facts at 4 am lolololo sorry precious sleep but snail facts are more important‼️‼️

did you know snails can take up to 3 year naps? i'd wish to be a snail but then i wouldn't be able to read ur works and that would make me sad :(

thank u for reading and take care of urself! ♡(ӦｖӦ｡) have a nice morning/day/evening darling!!! ♥️♥️♥️

Comforting their s/o from a bad dream

▪︎Featuring: Itadori Yuuji, Fushiguro Megumi and Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen

▪︎Pronouns: They/Them [Gn! Reader]

▪︎Genre: Fluff and light crack

▪︎Warnings: NOT EDITED SO THERE WILL BE TYPOS/GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, a little angst and awesome snail facts you probably couldn't handle

Note: DANG IT THIS IS SO CUTE I- thankyou love aaack ur so sweet! I didnt know snails can take 3 year naps- time to research *cracks my knuckles* HOPE U LIKE IT! ALSO SORRY FOR THE DELAY I TOOK A SHORT BREAK FROM WRITING

》 Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

》 Main Masterlist

You woke up with a start.

Your eyes darted around the room as beads of sweat gathered on your body along with a shaky and clammy hands.

You took a few steps and that lesd you to where you are right now. Your boyfriend's room. For a second you hesitated knocking ont wooden door but your worries were pushed aside when a sleepy Yuuji opened the door.

"Yuuji.." You mumbled and hugged the sleepy boy who wrapped his arms around yours. "Do you want a snack?" He asked, still disoriented to see the state you were in. "No.." you mumbled, that's when he noticed and all evidence of him being sleepy was gone and he's now checking you for any possible injury.

"Are you hurt?"

"No.. well, not physically." YUJI IF U DONT CUDDLE THEM I'LL BEAT YOU-

Yuji pulls ypu in and shuts the door, giving ypu both some privacy from the outside world.

Three hours later and you're holding your hands in your hair as Yuuji patted ypur back.

"It's alright honey.." He mjmbled and rubbed your back.

Megumi, who was about to go for his morning run paused behind Yuuji's door, leaning a bit. He grew alarmed when he felt the room was silent and heavy, resulting in him pressing his ear against the door vowing to beat Yuuji if he did something to you.

"They can take three year naps but some of them can only live up to three years Yu! THEY'VE MISSED OUT SO MUCH!" You exclaimed, putting your hands up in despair as Yuji akwardly tried to comfort you through your crisis. Please help this poor boi he's so lost, any will do

"I'm sure they didn't-"

"HOW WOULD WE KNOW!? WE AREN'T SNAILS!" You flailed your arms around startling Yuji and Megumi who was still listening in.

"This is stupid.. can't they be a normal pair for once" He groaned, putting his earphones in while sporting a mildly dsitrubed face for the whole day.

"Gumi... Can I come in?"

You didn't even have to knock when the door swung open and hugged you tightly. The faint smell of Megumi clinging to your skin the longer time you both hug.

"Bad dream?"

"Yep."

"Cuddles??"

"Yes.. but can we talk?"

Megumi almost had a heart attack as he nods nervously, "You're not breaking up with me are you?" He worries, making you laugh. He's just there like 💧👁👄👁💧

"No, you stupid. I just wanna talk about stuff to get my head of.. you know.." you mumbled, he breathed out a sigh of relief and nuzzled his face in your neck. "Of course, my love."

And there you are, in the crack of dawn spewing animal facts to your boyfriend while laying on his lap.

"Do you now snails constantly cry?" You asked, playing with his hands as he quirked an eyebrow at you. "Really? Why?"

You shrugged your shoulder, "Dunno. Science." Resulting in him laughing and ruffling your hair.

"Are you giys into snails..?" Yuji mumbled, horrified. How he managed to enter Fushiguro's room undetected remains a mystery.

Megumi furrowed his brows, "What? No- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? HOW DID YOU ENTER!?"He yelled while his bestfriend panics.

"I JUST WANNA ASK IF YOU HAVE RAMEN!"

Megumi clicked his tounge, "I don't have one! Get lost!"

"Well can you ask Y/n if they have ramen?"

"Nope. Sorry, I ran out.." You shrugged and apologized, making Yuji sigh in defeat and mumble dissapointedly as he leaves the room.

If anyone of you has spare ramen please donate it to him HE'S STARVING

Truth to be told, Megumi keeps a hidden stash of ramen inside his room. If it weren't for you sitting in his lap and looking adorable he would give some to Yuji.

Now this man right here just bursts into yiur room unannounced. He would just embrace you and ask what's wrong.

Its like he has a built in sensor

"Satoru...? Why are you-"

"Sh.. I'm here..." he mumbles, nuzzlingbyour neck as you just spent some time inhaling his cologne and hearing his calm and steady heartbeat that eases your worry away.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Maybe not now.." you mumbled. He hummed and nodded "I see."

Now he's gonna make it a mission to get your mind off the dream that you had with the most random thing.

Animal facts.

Ngl, you didn't know if you'd be annoyed with him or just let him ramble since you'll feel bad. He's just trying to make you feel better after all.

"Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby."

Just as about you thought he ran out of actually interesting facts he pokes you and calls your name repeatedly. Like a toddler.

You internally groaned, "I'm notgonna embarass myself again Gojo. Don't try to test my knowledge about this.

He let out a laugh, "honey, I'm not embarassing you! Now, did you know some snails have hair on their shells-"

"What?" You made a disgusted face to your lover as he laughed and tried to show you pictures. "No! I don't wanna see- Gojo Satoru!" You shriveled as he made you look, laughing at your weirded out face.

"I shouldn't have listened in..." Nanami mumbled as he walked away, clearly tired from the antics he heard from the door. "The day hasn't even started yet they're making me tired already.."

258 notes · View notes

opluffys · 4 years

Text

What We Aren’t- Killer x Reader

this took me so long cuz i had no motivation to write it... i fucking love killer but i’m so lazy lol. i hate this but there’s not that many fics for him, so enjoy? idk i’ve been unhappy with my writing for a while ughhh. please enjoy even though it’s bad! *please let me know if something looks off in the writing, sometimes it copies weird!!*

-smut/nsfw-

You sat perched upon your small, uncomfortable office chair, calmly awaiting a very important call. All you had been doing this entire day was waiting, for that damn transponder snail to ring. How long does it take to read over one single paper and respond back?

Being a member of a Supernova's crew meant a lot of injuries, you were no fool, no. You knew the toll it'd take on you as a surgeon to become Kid's ship doctor. One would take a look at you and assume you had enjoyed the challenge, the thrill of getting a new patient under the operating table each hour with something new wrong with them.

No, that was not the case, not at all.

Goodness, you adored being a surgeon, of course! Holding that scalpel and practically slicing people open always made you giddy. A sadistic surgeon, guess that's what people would pinpoint you as. But those were just simple perks of being the ship doctor on the Victoria Punk.

The real treat was the second in command.

Every time you weren't blinded by the lights in the operating room, you would steal glances at the attractive man. How mysterious he was just did wonders for you...

Over the years that you had stayed, you obviously had made advances. You wouldn't say that Killer always had women throwing themselves at him, they must be blind, though. So of course when you hinted that you wanted him in a more, intimate, manner, he at times accepted.

The two of you were not in a relationship, in fact, the two of you had barely exchanged any words to one another. Even though you always treated his wounds with utmost care, and not a word was said. Just a simple thanks and he was on his way.

You didn't care, though. You were not, by any means, looking for a long term relationship. You did not have the time for that, and you probably never would, if you were to continue your role as a surgeon, that was all you could focus on.

You scribbled notes down messily, crossing names out on the list quickly. While you waited for the transponder snail to ring, you decided to doodle a list. It wasn't important, not in the slightest. But you wanted to see how each crew member had gotten injured and where. It wouldn't help, but it was fun to see such a thing.

You heard the door swing open, being caught just in time in order not to bang against the wall. You were about to yell at whoever burst inside in such a way, but then you saw that familiar mass of fluffy blonde hair.

"Well, hello." You said, settling back into the chair, hearing it give a weak squeak in response to any weight put onto it. You really needed to get a new chair.

Killer grunted in response, and a small sigh left your lips. At times, you would question why he wasn't so talkative like the rest of the crew.

You quickly ripped the list that you had made, tossing it in the nearest trash bin you could find. You figured now would be a time to make an actual list you would use, not one that would bring you petty amusement.

"So, what do you need? You don't look injured, and I only do surgeries. So go over to the others if you have a scratch you need checked." You said, scribbling more unreadable words down.

"Since when do you only do surgeries?" You heard an unfamiliar voice pipe in. In question, you rose your head from the notes over to the voice you heard. After seeing a random lackey holding bandages, you scoffed and gave an eye roll.

"Too many on this ship come to me everyday to go under my operating table. You know that? Imagine if I had to take care of everyone else who came to me with a runny nose crying for dear life. I'd go insane." You said, relaxing your skilled hands in your lap, smiling proudly. Of course you would end up helping anyone who wandered into your office regardless. You knew nobody else could take care of anyone like you.

You shooed the young boy out of the office, who smiled in return to your words, not believing a thing, he knew how soft you were.

You groaned loudly, putting your head against the table. Why couldn't you be a mean pirate like your captain? Refusing any with a small bruise on their arm. It's your own damn fault, being too nice to the crew members, acting like their damn mother.

You then returned to take your notes.

"I need painkillers."

You nearly had a heart attack.

"You're gonna fucking end me..!" You gasped, feeling your heart beat quicken.

You calmed down quickly, your heart still beating quite quickly. Not because of how scared you were, but because of who was in front of you.

"Why?"

"I've been feeling a little sore and tense lately." Killer replied, leaning on the wall.

You laughed, bringing your hand to your mouth. "I can give you painkillers for that, but it can easily go away by a simple massage." You said, kicking your legs up onto the table. Hell, it was disrespectful, but it was your office. You could do whatever the fuck you wanted here.

"And I think I could help you out with that." You added, sounding a little suggestive about a simple favour to a friend, if you could call him such a thing.

"I thought you only did surgeries..?" He said, and you could've swore you heard a slight teasing undertone. Sly bastard...

You didn't bother a reply, you did not want to bicker with the man. Especially at a time where just a look at him paired with the sound of his voice would ignite your entire body on fire.

You sauntered over to him, urging him to take a seat. He did so, and you knew your chair couldn't take his mass of muscles for very long.

"Your shirt." You said from your place behind him. You were sure the both of you knew he didn't really need his shirt off. But ugh, that back of his...

You obviously were not a masseuse, but how hard could it be?

You dipped your fingers into his skin lightly, pushing harder when he didn't say anything to put a stop to you.

After around thirty or so minutes, you could've cooked anything with just the temperature of your skin. You were dying to be under the man in front of you, harsh nail markings sporting his sculpted back.

You leaned in a little closer, pressing your lips against the nape of his neck. He immediately stiffened, not being used to such a loving gesture.

"So? How does it feel now?" You questioned, spinning him around to view you.

You took a seat on his thighs, a much better place to be seated than your chair.

"I hope I made you feel at least a little better. It would hurt my reputation if one of my patients left without being helped, even just a bit." You grinned, hands roaming all over his built chest.

His breath hitched as you began to move your hips against him, feeling his hands attach to you.

"Now?" Killer questioned, not seeming to protest against any of your actions.

"Why not? I've been awaiting a call, but it looks like that idiot forgot about it."

It seems as if that were all the affirmation he needed, because soon after you said that, you were pushed harshly against your own desk, a surprised squeak coming from you.

Your garments were ripped off with haste, a lazy smile spread across your reddened lips.

Within seconds, you were just an utter mess. You always questioned how he always knew what your body had craved from him.

He quickly pushed your soaked panties aside, sliding his fingers against your slick folds. You bit your lip to try to prevent any unwanted noise from leaving you, but just the sheer skill he had was too much for you.

Your cheek was against the desk, your mouth slightly agape. Such a lewd face you had made, and all he had done was a little teasing.

"So wet already. What have we done that was exciting?"

You whimpered in response, pushing your hips back in hopes of feeling his fingers, or rather, something else, fill your insides.

You felt his presence flush against your back, "Or maybe," he pushed his fingers inside agonizingly slow, nearly causing your death, "this had been on your mind the entire day?"

Fuck, this man was a master at reading people.

Your hands were balled into fists, nails creating marks on your soft palm. You didn't want to give in, you didn't want to beg, but your mind was beginning to disagree with your pride.

"No. That's not the case..." You gasped, feeling his thick fingers curling inside of you, "Hmm, I don't like liars. But, I do like watching you squirm."

"All you have to do is tell me the truth, come on. I know you can do it." Sick bastard. Fuck him. Yeah, you didn't need him, you could finish yourself off, if needed.

"I already told you," You took a deep breath, feeling him move behind you with ill intentions, "all that I've done today was wait for a call. Then, I'd seen you... My thoughts had run for a little, that's all."

Yeah right! Like he'd believe such a thing! This seems like a child who took something they shouldn't. It wasn't your fault, you weren't working properly. Your mind had become wired on feeling Killer inside of you, and that's what you had needed.

You heard shuffling behind you, followed by the removal of his digits. You grumbled unhappily, was he really hellbent on you admitting something that didn't matter? You were both adults, and adults were supposed to get mad behind closed doors. Yup.

While you had been lost in thought, you felt his tip press against your dripping entrance. Finally! About time! You almost broke out in song you were so happy.

You won this little dispute.

Actually, no. You didn't.

He pushed himself inside rather slowly, cock snug against your velvety walls. You expected him to start moving, or at least do anything. But nope.

Nothing.

"Seriously..." You mumbled, trying to move back into him, obviously he didn't allow this, hands stopping any of your ministrations.

This is fine. You were going to be okay like this. You weren't going to give up. You wanted to be a pirate, so you couldn't just rip your pride to shreds.

You knew he couldn't last longer than you. He would crack eventually, and you would triumph. In this case, it was seen as the opposite.

"You really can't admit it, can you?"

No! You couldn't! It wasn't the truth... Mhm, just keep telling yourself that.

You knew he obviously didn't care, he just loved to see you have an internal meltdown. He would use anything and everything he could against you. You could practically hear the 'teehee' come from the bastard.

He took a seat on your tiny chair, bringing you with him while the chair squeaked in discomfort. Now sitting upright on him, oh this wasn't good for you. You could feel him deeper inside of you and you craved more. You craved sweet friction of any kind.

You squeezed around him tightly, trying to ease him into forgetting about this little feud.

You heard his breathing become slightly uneven after that, you grinned, you had an ace up your sleeve.

"What kind of monster takes teasing to such a level?" You politely asked, slightly raising your hips. He wasn't able to stop you in time as you sank onto him slowly.

He was so heavy inside of you, you couldn't take it anymore. You wanted him to fuck you until your mind stopped working. You just got a little taste of what you could have, and you wanted more, you wanted it all.

"How about we take a rain check on this. I think we're both a little needy today." You smiled, you're such a genius. This way, you didn't lose. No, you won. You wanted to tell him to suck it, but you had boundaries.

"Fine. But next time, don't expect me to give in so easily." He sighed, getting a better grip on your hips.

You turned around briefly, seating yourself back onto him. You always secretly enjoyed being so close to him, hearing his heartbeat in an irregular way. Maybe it was because you were so close. Your face heated up a bit, no, that couldn't be it. You placed you hands on his chest gently, "You can move now." You braced yourself for a second, at times, the two of you had gotten a bit rough. You didn't mind, as long as the both of you enjoyed it, you were happy.

He lifted you slightly, you felt a little empty for a moment but sighed blissfully when you felt him back inside.

This was an odd pace... Almost like he was taking how you felt in consideration. Usually you fucked like animals, but this? This was more of a lovers pace. Even the way he held you, it was gentle, for such a large man you hadn't thought he could hold you in such a way.

Maybe he was still teasing, going at a slower pace than you were used to. You could wait a little, at least he was moving now. Your head made contact with his chest, a slightly more comfortable pose for you.

How awkward for him! Your soft hands at his chest lovingly, your face against him while he slowly pumped inside of you... This is what lovers would do, not people who just wanted a quick session... He almost imagined you looking up at him with teary eyes, mumbling an 'I love you'.

He too, felt his face warm. It was such an uncomfortable feeling for someone who didn't welcome such emotions.

A small part of you somewhat enjoyed this, being next to him like this. You wished you could feel his lips plush against your own at this very moment. You smiled while in thought.

He looked down at you through the holes in his mask, he didn't expect such a serene look on you..! You had been liked this, hadn't you? Holding him while you had sighed and whimpered with want.

He took no time to pull out of you, flip you the other way, so you were, once again, facing the desk. He shoved himself inside, pounding into you at a more wanted rate.

All of this has happened very fast. Literally blink of an eye. You had no time to adjust whatsoever, from a slow and leisurely pace, to harsh snapping of the hips.

The expression on your face was priceless, but also very vulgar. The illusion of lovers was wiped away instantly, meaningless pleasure filling its slot.

Your muscles had stopped supporting you, your body nearly becoming lifeless. You silently depended on Killer to keep your body from not falling off of the desk. You laughed imagining this actually happening.

Your eyes screwed shut while your lips had only been able to form, 'yes yes yes!'. You knew his ego was through the roof right now, having a girl under him screaming for more.

And you were right, spot on, actually.

Again, Killer didn't always have women offering themselves to him. You however, would happily flock to him anytime he felt like he needed to relieve some stress.

He looked down at you again, seeing your greedy cunt swallow his cock with urgency put him in a trance. Fuck you took him too good. It was literally as if you were the missing piece to his life.

The way your insides clenched around his length every single time he moved a single muscle, paired with your small and delicate moans... He felt like he'd break you in an instant at such a pace. But he knew you could take it, he wanted you to take all of him every time the two of you do this.

Tears came out of your closed eyes due to the intensity your body was undergoing. It felt fucking phenomenal to be stretched and filled and body bent while being pushed into the uncomfortable wood of the desk. God, you nearly unraveled right there.

Your grip on the desk tightened, knuckled turning a burning white. You couldn't go on forever, you knew that. But with the earlier teasing, you were going to be finished soon.

"Oh fuck yes... Right there fuck yes!!" You screamed, the feeling of pleasure skyrocket when he brushed against that sweet bundle of nerves inside.

"Right here, huh..?" He hummed, large hand caressing the curve of your ass. You panted and whispered something even you didn't know in response. You were just broken at this point.

You were certainly not prepared for when he continued to slam into that desired spot over, and over, and- oh fuck you couldn't handle this shit.

Your orgasm hit you fucking hard, you felt lifeless. Completely and utterly dead.

Seeing you moan and whimper desperately beneath him was, simply, hot as fuck to Killer. The way your body silently begged for more with every thrust, you lightly convulsing and squeezing him when you had gotten close, and the sudden outburst when you had finished... It just kept replaying in his head over, and over, and- oh fuck he couldn't handle this shit.

A deep grunt left him and he pushed deep inside of you again, a quiet whimper coming from you since you were so sensitive. His tip giving a final kiss to your insides, and finally sealing his hot release in you.

You mumbled incoherently while you struggled to get up, trying to pull on your panties.

"Woah, no need to waste." He grinned, pushing a finger into your entrance, keeping his cum inside.

You lightly fell onto his lap, not knowing he'd still stimulate your exhausted nerves. You turned your head into his hard chest and nearly cried.

"Don't be an asshole..." You muttered lowly, looking up at him, "Someone might come in and see."

"So? Maybe it's a kink of yours..." He replied, voice slightly hinting a mischievous undertone.

You snickered, rolling your eyes. When he wasn't so scary, he was quite pleasant to be around.

"Maybe... We might explore some of your kinks too." You giggled, feeling him stiffen at your response. Usually after sex the two of you would go separate ways. You would never bask in the afterglow with him, at least not this long. Talking so casually, too.

You were scared at what the two of you shouldn't become. This was a dangerous life, you couldn't get attached.

And finally the fucking phone rang.

It was as you hadn't just had the best sex of your life, finally this idiot had done what you asked. Who the hell knows why it took him so long.

"Yes? Hello?" You answered, getting off of your comfortable seat, which had been Killer, and leant against the desk.

"What a fucking view..." He mumbled to himself. It seemed that you had forgotten to put your garments on, just how important was this call?

You faked a laugh, this fucker said he went to the wrong island. How. How did that happen..? You would be sure to give him hell when he came back.

"It's okay! It's okay, I'm not mad!" Yeah, you're fucking seething. He was lucky you got remarkable sex out of this.

"Yes, please tell me how much they want for it? Also don't forget to try to swindle them for it, okay? I know you're a shy bastard but you can do it!" You said into the phone. He better get your herbs. You need these stupid little fucking plants or else you couldn't make your medicine.

"Holy shit, that's a lot of money... Well can you try-"

Oh he did not just.

While you were on the phone.

Your assistant constantly asked if you were okay, a shaky answer leaving your red lips.

"Hold on a second sweetie." You said calmly into the phone, acting like you didn't once again, have a huge cock deep inside of you.

"While I'm talking to someone? You couldn't fucking wait?" You whispered, bending slightly. This man had no shame, he wanted you to take it all, clearly.

"Let's see how quiet you can be." He retorted, not even acting like he'd done anything wrong. "Fine, just don't move too much. I don't want anyone on the other line figuring out that we're doing something so scandalous... It's quite rude to do so on the phone." You sighed, removing your hand off of the receiver.

You actually held up quite well, rocking side to side a bit while holding a normal conversation with the shop keeper, haggling about a price. You were so proud of yourself!

“No, put the price lower that’s way too... Too, ah..! Oh fuck..!” You yelled, feeling his large thumb rub harsh circles into your clit. Now everyone knew what you were doing, fucking great.

“Aww, and you were doing so well.” He chuckled, watching you shake under him. You didn’t bother saying anything back to him, too far gone in your own pleasure to care.

How embarrassing... You could try to cover this up, but you don’t know if that would end up well...

“Yes, yes I’m fine... Just stubbed my toe...” You laughed nervously, biting your lip not to let any unwanted noises out.

“How sly.” He smiled, hidden admiration in his voice. You gave him a quick middle finger, cursing at him a couple of times.

“Yeah thanks sweetheart. I’m gonna hang up now okay? Yeah, bye bye.” You spoke, not even hearing anything your assistant had said. You were focused on feeling another great climax, and certainly didn’t care about the price of the plant any longer.

“You’re so fucking wet...”

“Yeah, I wonder why.” Cue the eye roll, “I guess I was right? This is one of your kinks, isn’t it?” He grinned, pushing his cock deeper inside of your warm walls.

“You gonna finish inside of me without warning again?” You muttered, exhaling a shaky breath.

“Only if you want it babe.”

Oh. Oh he had called you babe. Names like those? Oh fuck now you were gonna get attached, and... And...

And maybe that’s okay.

“Fill me up.” You moaned, letting out a gasp of his name that you had chanted like a prayer.

You sure as hell didn’t need to tell him twice.

•Bonus•

“Hey,” You looked up at Killer, hugging him under the sheets, “I think I like you.” You sighed, worried for his answer. You had a feeling the worst thing that could happen was a simple no, but hopefully you wouldn’t lose the sex.

He took his warm hands off of you, which you took as a no towards your earlier statement. You felt a tinge of embarrassment, but since you were so tired, you also didn’t care.

He lifted his mask just so his painted lips were shown, he quickly captured your lips in his own and you felt the sparks fly. You initially thought that it was just sexual, but during the day when you had thought of him, goodness, you were oblivious to your own feelings.

“Really now? You’re not just using me for the sex, are you?” He whispered, voice husky and deep in your ear. You reached to scratch his goatee lightly, “Who knows.” You pressed your lips against his once again, sitting upwards and quickly growing hot. Who knew a make out session would be this hot? The mans got mystery, that’s some extra points right there.

“I think I like you too.”

#one piece x reader #one piece smut #one piece killer #one piece #fanfic #smut #killer x reader

190 notes · View notes

wizkiddx · 4 years

Text

...surprise part 3

{part1} {part 2}

I got there in the end!!!! sorry I felt like this dragged quite a lot but just quite happy to get it done ahah. Any feedback / advice would be greatly appreciated :)

TW: this is pretty heavy angst, miscarriages / thoughts of self harm / death pls don't read if this could strike a cord x

Summary: Y/n has absolutely not a clue how to tell Tom and that only strains the both incredibly.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

The drive home was deathly silent. Tom’s Audi seamlessly drove down the near-empty roads on a sleepy Sunday evening. The whole time Y/n sat with one leg curled up by her chest as she absently stared out of the passenger window. Honestly, though, she was not taking anything of the view in, all processing power in her brain was in overdrive. Souly focused on how the fuck she was going to tell Tom what she had done. She knew Tom kept glancing over at her, with the panicked hint to his eyes- no matter how comforting he was trying to appear. His grip on the steering wheel was every tightening, he felt as though right now that was the only control he had. Still with no idea what was going on - but this time his mum knew too. And his mum when she came to get him from the living was not calm either.

Something he always admired about his mum was how cool she was in a crisis. Even if Paddy likened her to the ’rage monster’ at times when she was pissed because he’d left the freezer door open, or something equally as stupid, when it came down to it, when there was a really serious issue… she was composed. Calm and collected. So when she came in and called Tom, taking him away from his brothers, he could tell something was wrong by the look in her eye. She was upset, that was clear to him, but there was something more. It wasn’t straight up panic (not like if Y/n had passed out or something) but it was… it was a quiet urgency.

It meant it was bad.

Without the need to ever consider it, Tom knew this wasn’t anything to do with Y/n being unfaithful. It hadn’t even crossed his mind. And that meant, something must've happened personally to Y/n - which maybe scared him even more. If it was a betrayal of him, that would principally hurt Tom himself - which would kill him, but he would deal with it. It was the fear of the unknown and the complete powerlessness in this situation that had Tom wishing the drive away so he’d finally understand.

The drive felt painstakingly long for Tom… yet far too short for Y/n to come up with a plan.

When the pair finally pulled into the driveway, they both didn’t even exchange glances before heading out the car and slamming the doors shut. The crunch of their shoes on the gravel path to the front door was deafeningly loud as Tom fished the keys out of his pocket - this time with a sense of dread that contrasted so strongly the excitement he’d felt less than 24 hours ago doing the exact same thing.

Tom held the door open for her, as she fiddled with the cuff of her sleeve; eyes still glued to the floor. He flicked on the light to illuminate the hall as she slipped off her shoes. He mirrored her action and then for the first time since his parents' house looked her in the eye. Just that action had him near spilling his guts about how worried he was about her, before Y/n beat him to it.

“I’m…I’m gonna take a shower.”

And it had him floored. How could she just ignore the bloody massive and luminous elephant in the room? He couldn’t even respond, his brain was so confused as to what the fuck was going on. So she just nodded smally and headed straight upstairs. Leaving him in a stupor by the doorway.

Meanwhile, Y/n was just about holding it together until she got behind the locked door of their ensuite. Then it broke. She broke.

She pulled the clothes that drowned her off frantically, scratching and grabbing until the garments ripped off her body and were thrown across the room in haste. In the mirror, the reflection of the person that stood there somewhat had her transfixed. Tilting her head to the side, Y/n took careful steps up toward it - her eyes transfixed on her exposed abdomen. She was hollow. So very empty and it had her hypnotised. How barely weeks ago she was growing a real human inside there - creating something that should’ve gone onto laugh and smile and grow and learn. And love.

Now she was empty.

The poor thing though had been so deprived by their own mother; so unwanted and hated. They had been starved of all love by the person who was supposed to love them the most. The person who was supposed to be half their world for the first few years at least.

It was her fault.

Y/n hated herself, heck she wanted to punish herself for what she’d done. And yet, there was something so pure about her stomach, about where that angel had been. She wanted to punch herself, to kick and hurt, to make her feel pain. Except for this little life force, or the remnants of them - had her respecting it. Instead, she gently rubbed her stomach, which was flat rather than full like it should’ve been, and yet it felt like a relief. At a snail's pace, she trailed the tips of her finger across her belly just drawing (what she thought were) random patterns - however to anyone else they would have noticed the silhouette of a small human.

She took her time int the shower, having the water close to blisteringly hot but not quite there - using it as an attempt to purge her body of the thoughts, of the guilt. Eventually, though she couldn’t drag out the bathroom routine any longer, she had to go and face him. In reality, Y/n was well aware of how unfair this was on Tom - he had been terrified on the way back here, she knew that. But the thought of admitting to him this truly abhorrent thing she’d done, selfishly she didn’t want to tell him tonight. Just one more night sharing a bed with him, one morning of seeing his puffy eyes and bed hair, one last time hearing his gruff morning voice. Before he found out the real her and before he left.

Thankfully, when she finally drew the courage to unlock the door and leave her sanctuary, their bedroom was empty and she took that opportunity. As fast as she possibly could, Y/n changed into an old nightshirt before huddling under the covers. Tom had been so careful with her feelings today, he might just leave her be. Delay the conversation till tomorrow. It was the dream.

And dreams don’t come true.

Tom walked in, she could hear the soft pad of his feet on the cream carpet as she tried to act fast asleep - regulating her breathing and relaxing every muscle she could. When in fact that the whole process was the opposite of relaxing, she was on such high alert, waiting for a sign of him leaving her alone for the evening. Quite expectedly though, it didn’t quite go down that way. She heard him sigh, felt him sit on his side of the bed as her body rippled with the dip on the bed, felt his eyes piercing her.

“Y/n…” the tone of his voice had her wincing internally, he was hurting. “Y/n please… just talk to me?” She was too scared to move. “ I know your awake Y/n we both know who’s the actor here” Y/n knew Tom was trying to lighten the mood, trying to make her feel a bit more comfortable but then he switched back to an underlying hint of desperation. “Please talk to me.” She didn’t have a choice, he wasn't going to let up - Y/n could tell. So she rolled over and opened her eyes facing him.

“I’m tired, Tom. Can we do this tomorrow?” His face completely morphed and she knew she fucked up. He wasn’t upset or worried or scared any more.

“I’m sorry but that is not fair.”

“Please just-“

“NO. ah” He sighed, as if disciplining himself for the instinctive angry tone. “Look- I-I’ve been going at your pace. I’ve been treading on eggshells all day. I didn’t want to push you but I’m bloody terrified! I mean you told my mum! And she’s worried so that means I’m even more stressed and-…. Just please Y/n. You know I’d never judge you I’m just worried because I care.”

And just like that, she didn’t have a choice. She was really hurting the man she loved.

As a result, Y/n pushed herself up into a sitting position, still hugging the duvet around her in a protective blanket as she looked into his glassy eyes. It tore her heart out.

“I’m really sorry” she pursed her lips blowing out an exhale, trying to collect all her thoughts, feelings and emotions together. “I’ve been trying to all day but-.. it’s just I’m finding this really hard to express in words.”

“I don’t mind if it takes all night, just I-I want to understand.” He was just too kind and she didn’t deserve it. So picking at the duvet while pulling her legs closer in protection she nodded.

“Okay, so-so I just take you through it chronologically? And-and then I can go to Y/f/n’s place so.”

“Why would you got to hers?” He asked, his eyebrows drawn tightly together in confusion. He knew you hadn’t been unfaithful - his mum most definitely wouldn’t have reacted in the way she did had Y/n betrayed Tom.

“Just… just listen first.” She didn’t want to answer that question, to speak it into existence. Him kicking her out, in a rage of fury and anger at how evil she could be. She thought he’d just reply and accept it, not feel the need to calm her.

“I could never ever hate you Y/n please, it’s a bit insulting to me that you think I would.”

His words had her a little shocked - she had definitely not expected that reaction. His offence.

“Umm okay just… just don’t promise till you hear.” He gave her a stern look, not enough to make her back down or change her mind from what she thought was inevitable. “So. So it was when you were away. You’d just gone to Atlanta I think and-and I woke up one morning and was sick and it was weird I don’t know… um so I took the day off but I was okay until the next morning and-and I was sick again. It was weird so I took the next day off because you know Elliot I work with? He’s-he's got some broken immune system or something so we really can’t go in if we are ill. But I was fine until the next morning again and-and then it kind of hit me. I hadn’t had a period in ages and-and yeah.”

“Your pregnant?” Tom asked, trying to wrap his head around the current situation and what she was saying.

“Was…” Her voice wavered and she paused a second “ I-I was. I was shocked you know? We…we weren’t ready.” Y/n shifted uncomfortably, pushing herself closer to the headboard. “You said you didn’t want kids now and I mean … we- we are barely adults ourself right? It-it was so stupid but I couldn’t tell you could I?… Phone you up and say by the way I’m pregnant with a kid you don’t want!...” She dared to look at him, only for a second, seeing the way he just stared at her as though transfixed. She couldn’t keep looking at him.

“So I was waiting till you would get back … er next week, well when you were supposed to be back anyway.” She scoffed lightly at that, how the whole entire situation had been completely flipped on its head. “I would have had the scan then. And-and I went and it so stupid because they were a blob but-shit. They were so beautiful.” She hadn’t even noticed, suddenly absorbed in what she was saying but Tom leant over to grab one of her hands because it was trembling so vigorously. It wasn’t that he wanted to comfort her, he needed to. Because really? When it mattered, he hadn’t and that was already eating away at him.

“And I stupidly…. So fucking stupidly… I thought what if? I got excited and in my head… I don’t fucking know I just thought that I-it, it might work. I really - really thought it could work.” She couldn’t feel it but Tom wormed his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her into his side. “But by that point, I’d already filled them with so much hate. I wanted them out for so long and…and then I just- well I got what I thought I wanted.”

For the first time since she started her speech, Y/n wasn’t absorbed in retelling the story. Noticing her position with Toms arms protectively wrapped around her, she dared to look up into his eyes. And they weren’t right. It was wrong. Because here he was still looking at her with these incredibly soft warm brown eyes, his thumb rubbing up and down on the back of her shoulder blade.

“Love, I’m so so sorry.”

She was bemused. What the hell was he doing? Was this just a double bluff, acting all soft before he was about to rip her heart out - even if it was what she deserved, that was exceptionally cruel?

“No Tom your not listening. I-I couldn’t keep your baby alive! I-I wished them away… I wanted them gone!” Now she was plainly hysterical, shouting and yelling at Tom as her hands shook.

It broke Tom’s heart. He knew this was his fault - at least a little. Clearly, she should never have been in a position to have to deal with this herself, that was obvious. And it made him guilty… but what hit harder? She had very clearly implied she was worried about his reaction, he should never have let her worry. Because Tom knew he loved Y/n unconditionally, at this point that should be a given - for all he cared there was nothing, within the limits of reason, she could do that would make him seriously reconsider his opinion of her. Even then, if his opinion were ever forced to change so dramatically... he still knew he wouldn’t be able to stop loving her. Loving isn't an option, it is not a choice. You helplessly surrender yourself to it. And yet she was apparently less sure of this fact.

“I’m so sorry you had to deal with this by yourself.” And he meant it. He truly meant it. However, Y/n was not having it at all - in her state, in her frame of mind, this was him just torturing her; acting it out only to break her heart. His words and her position wrapped protectively in his arms dawned on her. It had her leaping up from the bed, tears streaming down her face as she gestured wildly.

“Tom that’s not fair! Don’t you get it? I KILLED YOUR BABY! They were alive and then I wasn’t enough for them! IT’S MY FAULT!” To put it simply, she looked insane. Screaming, with tears streaming down her face, arms flailing about as she yelled at Tom, who was still sitting on the bed.

He’d never seen her like this- with so much anger. What was even more disturbing was the fact that it was targeted so inwardly at herself.

“This isn’t your-“

“BE ANGRY TOM. For fuck sake… I-“ She choked out a sob “I murdered your kid! RAGE AT ME SHOUT AT ME it’s-it’s what I deserve.” It was insane but the look in her eye was one that seemed to Tom as though she needed him to hate her. As if in some fucked up narrative that was how the story should end.

He was not having one bit of it, tearing his eyes away from her maniacally shaking frail frame and instead to the corner of the ceiling. There was no precedent, no guidebook on how to deal with this, no past experiences to rely on. Unlike if Y/n had had a shit day, Tom knew then to subtly keep her within reach, to silently be there so she could literally and figuratively lean on him when she was ready; unlike when she was angry at ignorant politicians, he knew not to argue but prompt her to explain more, give a more reasoned argument so anger became thought through intellect; unlike when her grandma had died, when she just needed his contact, she needed his thumb rubbing against her hip, needed to sleep listening to the rhythmical thumping of his heart. None of these were applicable - his touch seemed to make her worse; his words seemed to anger her more; his mere presence didn’t seem to be doing an awful lot of good.

And yet, he couldn’t leave her even if it seemed to be the most logical option. Because she was wild, not herself and not logical and he, for the first time, was terrified of the danger she could be to herself.

Y/n stared at him, wide-eyed, waiting for him to react. She saw his Adam's apple bob up and down - readying his voice to scream at her. She saw his brown eyes collect a sheen of tears of rage - ready to bore holes into her skull as he degraded her to what she was worth. Which was very little. Then, as if in slow motion, his sharp jawline tilted back level and his eyes met her. He was frozen as if a statue, ready to rage at her.

“I love you both. So much and equally.”

Tom was pretty sure he could imagine Y/n’s runaway train in her head slam on the breaks. Her eyebrow twitched a little, as she stood completely still trying to analyse his words. Because to her, it didn’t make sense. So he took this moment of (at least surface level) calm to smoothly and slowly stand up, actions much like mirroring how someone approaches a spooked cat on the streets. Movements slow and preplanned, trying not to set off the fight or flight response on the women in front of him.

“That little baby you made… I didn’t know he ever existed till minutes ago but…but I know for a fact I love them.” He was trying to both figure out and decode his own emotions while explaining them in a way Y/n would accept and understand.

“I love them because… they are made by the love of my life. And that’s incredible and indescribable and just… just part of you, an extension of everything you and me together are… They would never have been perfect right?” Tom softly asked, though realistically knowing he wouldn’t get a response from a still motionless Y/n - besides a single tear, which appeared to have a mind of its own, escaping over her bottom lash lid. Tom watched it roll down her cheek as he composed his next words. “No they wouldn’t, no ones perfect… neither me nor you. But they would’ve been safe and have been loved. They were loved, you-you loved them right, even if you didn’t think you did or when you were terrified?” This time Y/n nodded minutely and Tom mirrored this, taking a small step a little closer to her. “And I did love them while they were in your stomach because they were part of you and I always always love you…. So they were so full of love okay? There's no rhyme or reason to why what happened happened but it’s… it’s definitely not because they were starved of love okay?” Y/n still didn’t have appeared to have released a single breath since Tom stood up, so he made a calculated and risked assessed movement to reach his hand out to touch her upper arm. In reaction, she sucked in a sharp shaky breath and then expelled it just as quickly - just like Tom knew she would. He physically felt a pull in his chest seeing the torment in her glassy eyes, now barely a rulers length from her.

“This, it’s an awful… awful situation. It’s sad and heartbreaking but I really need you to know that it changes nothing about how I feel about you. I need you to really understand how much I love-and always will-love you, and how I love them too.” Another tear escaped the same eye and Tom reached up with his other hand so his thumb could brush it away before the glassy orb met her pronounced jawline. To be honest he was quite grateful for the moment as he felt his voice getting a bit sticky in the back of his throat. She still wasn’t ready to speak yet and he was okay with that.

“We’ll never forget them and we will always love them, but I want to do that with you, as we get older together. They tie us closer and I refuse to disrespect them and force ourselves apart….a-assuming you don’t want to either?” Still cupping her cheek with his left hand Tom felt as well as saw her nod, this time more emphatically, her eyes darting between focusing on his left and then right eye - as though she was just checking they were saying the same things as his mouth.

“I’m sorry I-“ Finally feeling the connection between her brain and voice box, Y/n stated to jiltedly speak but was interrupted as Tom tentatively feathered his lips on hers. “You can be sorry for scaring the crap out of me today, you can be sorry for shouting and you can be sorry for not telling me at all… I don’t think you should, but if you’re staying sorry that’s all you can be sorry for.” He was barely speaking, more like just moving his lips against hers, yet they knew and understood each other completely Y/n got everything. So she sighed and repeated.

“I am sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for you not having the faith to know I’d be happy, that was my fault. I’m sorry for not being here and not noticing when you were struggling on the phone. I’m sorry I crept up on you last night. But I don’t think there’s anything else for either of us to apologise for.”

“Okay” Y/n then pressed her lips firmly and almost desperately against his, feeling his warmth wrap around her, as he literally wrapped his arm around her waist, from where it had been on her upper arm. And really she was very incredibly desperate since it was very very incredibly clear now with him pressed against her that he might’ve been all she needed this whole time. Tom went with it for a couple of moments, but then broke them both apart - it sounds odd but he sort of felt like he was taking advantage of her.

“Darling you’re grieving. We can tackle this together …. But your grieving so we need to look after you first. And, and we’ll remember them and face this. But we gotta look out for each other too and…”

“I’m ill aren’t I?” He was oh-so relieved that she could see it too.

“I’m not a doctor but I think so… think we need to get you eating properly.”Y/n nodded and Tom kissed her forehead, pulling her completely against his chest - only exacerbating and exaggerating his awareness of how boney she felt. It hadn’t gone unnoticed how she’d spent the whole of Sam’s dinner pushing the meat round on her fork - rearranging it numerous times- whilst picking at a few carrots. “We can do whatever you feel will help you this evening but you need to tell me what you want to eat.”

You agreed but you still felt incredibly nauseous, so managed to put off the whole snacking thing in lieu of cuddling up on the sofa with Tom. You were still incredibly confused, feeling slightly detached from reality if you were completely honest. And you knew Tom was a good actor, his career kind of speaks for himself yet, all the same, the sheer truth in his eyes, voice, heart. It had you feeling safe. He no longer felt a flight risk and although you still couldn’t understand why he was forgiving you so easily, you believed he was. In the softest voice, he kept just saying ‘your grieving’ when you tried to challenge his logic- admittedly proving difficult in your scattered and hazy mind.

So you found yourself lying almost completely on top of his right side, your head tucked underneath his chin, a fluffy blanket weighing down on your back to keep you nice and toasty. Silently Tom had trailed his fingertips tentatively, under the hem of your t-shirt, round over the top of your hip to his stomach. Initially, it had felt like the worst and most alien feeling in the world- but he told you to relax and you listened; he told you to take deep breaths and you listened; he told you he loved you and you listened.

It must’ve been incredibly boring for him, I mean the TV wasn’t on neither was the radio and you knew his phone was in a pocket you were currently lying on. He didn’t complain though, he just let you lie there. Just sort of being with him.

At some point Tom realised she’d drifted off, after a long time fighting exhaustion, as though she were worried about what Tom would do once she finally gave in to sleep. It wasn’t surprising though, considering her energy intake from food for today was limited to a couple of roasted carrot slices, Tom knew her falling asleep on his chest was inevitable. The time it took had also given him enough time to fully digest and process the whole day as well as for deciding what he needed to do. So once she appeared fully out of Tom dared to worm his hand between their bodies and, with a few muted grunts of effort, phish his phone out his back pocket.

‘Hi, I know this asking a lot but would you mind getting Sam to make that pasta bake Y/n likes and dropping it round? Just she’s asleep but I don’t want to leave her alone but could do with getting something in her?’

‘Sams already on it and it doesn’t take long. I’ll be at yours in about an hour, shall I just let myself in?’

Tom was so grateful for his family, and for how they’d taken Y/n in to. Although she’d never admit it, her tougher than average upbringing always had her feeling a bit isolated- she never had ‘her’ people. The people who completely accepted her for who she was and never judged her. But as soon as he’d introduced her to them, it was as if she'd always been there. He endlessly appreciated the talks Nikki and you had, the way his Dad would come over when she was home alone to help with the simple stuff like knowing what lightbulb to buy for the lamp that had blinked out.

She had a place in his family.

Quite impressively, Sam had managed to bake the dish and then Nikki had managed to drive round before barely three-quarters of an hour had passed. Y/n was still completely out, so when he heard his mum unlock the door with her spare key, he felt able to wiggle out from under her without disturbing at all. He met Nikki in the kitchen, leaning against the door frame as he watched his mother fly about the kitchen - preheating the oven on a low temp to keep it warm while pulling plates and cutlery out the drawers so it was easier for Y/n and Tom when you woke up.

“Thanks for all this” Tom announced his presence with a soft sigh as he padded further into the kitchen. Nikki instinctively threw her arms round her eldest’s shoulders, squeezing him tightly.

“You guys okay?” Tom replied with a rather uncertain hum, before recounting the evening to his mum in a low voice - as though Y/n could be disturbed from the other side of the house. Nikki was in two frame of minds at this point, clearly heartbroken for the pair; but also incredibly proud of her son because it appeared he’d reacted and said exactly the right things.

“And you?… it must’ve been a shock?” To be quite honest, Tom hadn't thought about his own emotions yet, he’d put himself on the back foot for the time being.

“I mean it’s just a bit surreal… I don’t know I didn’t really have anything to do with it but - I just know that it's made me so certain that one day we will... you know?” Nikki hugged her son again with a little nod.

“Well I won’t outstay my welcome but I do want you to give this to Y/n too.”’ With those words, she fished a square box out of her handbag - it was about the size of two matchboxes and Tom raised his brows in curiosity. “She’ll understand when she sees it.”

And with a brisk parting gesture, Nikki left, Tom tucking the box into his side pocket before getting the pasta ready.

////////

Waking you with a gentle rub on your upper arm, you mewled a groan and pushed your head hard into the sofa below you in an attempt to alleviate the tension that instantly rippled through your skull. With hazy eyes, you blinked heavily, slowly focusing on the pale yet soft skin of the boy crouched opposite you.

“Hey darling, nice nap?” Nodding gradually, you still tried to completely recollect and piece together everything that had happened today “… you need some grub before we head upstairs yeh?” Again you nodded in compliance because at this point, even having been asleep for the last however long, you really didn’t have the energy for any conflict or disagreement. With a little prompt and poke from Tom, you reluctantly sat up, grasping the plate he offered to you while still rubbing one of your eyes. Busying himself with running back to the kitchen and grabbing his own plate and drink, you had time to look at the food and notice what was served to you. Tom plopped himself next to you and turned his head with a small smile, meeting a bemused and slightly suspicious look from you.

“You didn’t cook this…?” Really it wasn’t a question. You knew for a fact Tom was not and would never be a good chef. No judgement though, since neither were you, meaning the pair of you heavily relied on the ingenious invention of uber eats most evenings. Tom chuckled at your perceptiveness and admitted defeat without even trying to feign it.

“Nah mum dropped it round. Though I think Sam cooked it so a joint effort.”

“-didnt have to-“ You hated feeling like a burden. You hated people worrying because you just felt bad. Not worth the attention and effort. And Tom hated you feeling like that - naturally then, he had the need to shut you down instantly.

“No, you’re right. But they did.”

The air was filled with the quiet clinks of ceramic against the silver or the cutlery as you forced mouthful after mouthful down your throat. He was trying to be subtle, and yet you could feel Tom’s concerned glance checking you were eating. Truthully, you really didn’t feel like eating at all (even if it was Sam’s gorgeous tomato and sausage pasta bake - an odd combination but it worked). However, what more crucial in that moment was not disappointing your incredibly sweet boyfriend.

After having consumed as much as you physically could - which Tom deemed suitable with a small nod- he took your plates away and came back to sit beside you. More and more silence.

“Are-are we okay?” Whispering quietly you felt Tom’s body seize up into a rigid state, his face whipping round to look at you. He chose to reply with actions first reaching up so that his hands cupped your cheeks, he turned your head and then slowly leaned into to press his lips softly against yours. Once retracted, he pressed his forehead onto yours.

“Of course. I bloody love you and we’re going to get through this together.” His eyes were almost intimidating, with the seriousness he placed in his gaze - just to make sure you knew he meant it.

What you had done to deserve this boy you’d never know. But you were so incredibly grateful for him.

It gave you the confidence to take the first move this time, pressing your lips against his, holding for a moment before arching away - a small yet real smile on your face.

“Oh… nearly forgot” He muttered, leaning forward and grabbing a black leather box that you’d failed to notice had been placed on the coffee table. For the second time this evening, you were caught off guard and bemused as to how he’d sourced this item within the time frame. “It’s from mum… she wouldn’t tell me what it is but said you’d understand.”

His words had you biting your lip, in a weird way eager to see, purely because you knew Nikki understood you. And understood what you were going through. With one last look to Tom, you reached out and grabbed the box, thumb running over the sleek leather exterior. Once your thumb reached the bottom you flicked the lid up, unveiling a simple silver chained bracelet. It had five dainty silver charms hanging off it, they looked a bit like leaves but were kind of too small to tell. Moreover, it looked a little worn and preloved but it didn’t stop your eyes from watering when you saw at the bottom another charm, not yet attached that looked newer and pristine.

5 charms already attached and 1 new one.

“Oh” Tom muttered, also clearly very much intrigued, hovering off you left shoulder to see properly. ”That’s mums bracelet. She never really takes it off… that’s nice I guess?” He was obviously confused and it had you chuckling wetly, at how oblivious he could be. You did love your dear idiot.

5 charms for her 5 pregnancies… and now one for yours. One to wear forever, to love, to keep close to your heart.

They were tears of happiness, you were certain of, however, Tom was not at all sure why your flood gates opened again and was worried.

“You-you don’t have to take- I mean if you don’t like it don’t worry-“

“I love it” You breathed, looking up at him with glassy eyes before hastily picking up the extra charm and with shaky fingers clasping it onto the chain next to it. Tom perked up, if still bemused, wrapping his arm around your shoulder with a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t know how you convinced her to take it off, I’ve been trying to buy her a new bracelet for years but she’s always stuck with this old thing.”

“Because it’s beautiful!” You yelped in argument, making him laugh at how suddenly you’d switched into a happy and overexcited mood. Though don’t get me wrong, he was loving it.

“You Holland women I will never understand.” He whispered into your ear whilst you looked back at the chain, fixing it round your wrist. His comment made you freeze up, as you felt his grip tightening on your waist as he realised exactly what he might have just let slip out. “No I er- I don’t mean… but-but one day maybe if-if you wanted.”

“I love you” You sighed, kissing him once again to save him the embarrassment of watching his cheeks flush and ears pink up.

“I’m serious though… one day because… because you’re my family and when it happens our family will grow too.”

He was right. And you would, one day,

But you would never forget the two little lives remembered on this bracelet.

tagging people that might be interested (sorry if u don't care ahah): @wayfaring----stranger @vanillanestor @333dolans @thevelvetseries @whitewolf51

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #dad!tom #tom holland x reader #Tom Holland x y/n

271 notes · View notes

blossomkoushi · 3 years

Text

it’s what you feel, when you love someone.

summary: tsukishima kei spends his life discovering love. and the heartache that comes with it.

warnings: reader is a bit of an ass, but so is tsukishima one time, childhood friends AU, unrequited love, heartache, heartbreak, general angst things like that. gender neutral reader, referred to as “stinky” in texts. truly all hurt and no comfort in this one.

word count: 2.1k

A/N: i haven’t written angst in forever, so please let me know if this was okay or what i could improve on! i absolutely love angst and i want to get better at writing it, so any and all feedback is appreciated. fic is based off this prompt, thank you for requesting!

The sun shines through Tsukishima’s window. 7:30am. Rolling over in his bed and sighing, he reaches for his phone. The text messages you’d sent after he’d gone to bed sit at the top of the screen. A small smile grows on his face.

[from: stinky, sent at 1:43am] >> kei-kei, did you know that fish cough? Isn’t that so weird? >> like how does that even work >> wait I found a youtube video, look! >> *stinky sent a link* >> …doesn’t really look like coughing, does it? It’s more like a yawn >> kei-kei are you sleeping? >> laaaame >> sleeping is dumb

The nickname makes his heart flutter, just for a moment. It’d always had that effect on him, the blush creeping up on his face until he trained himself to keep it down.

[to: stinky, 7:34am] >> why were you sending me texts about fish at 1:40 in the morning >> stupid

Tsukishima pauses for a moment, hesitating before sending another text.

[to: stinky, 7:36am] >> are you still coming by practice later?

Getting out of bed, he starts getting ready for his morning class and practice. A part of him is grateful that you decided to go to the same university as him, being able to see you nearly every day made his life brighter. Not that he’d ever tell you that.

He’s out the door and walking to class when you text him back.

[from: stinky, 8:27am] >> obviously, I need to go see how ‘Taro is doing >> could you steal his shirt so I can see his abs during practice? >> *image attached*

Some kind of horny meme that Tsukishima never bothered to pay attention to, the kinds you always send when talking about his teammate, Kyoutani.

[from: stinky, 8:29am] >> oh, and you’ll be there too, ig

There it is.

He knows it’s a joke. He knows that he’s your best friend and you’re only joking. But the sinking in his chest and the knot tightening in his stomach is refusing to listen to his reasoning.

Swallowing down any anxious and sad feelings, he shakes his head and starts typing away at his phone.

[to: stinky, 8:30am] >> great. I’ll see you after class

Another message of seemingly random emojis pop up on his screen and he pockets his phone, taking a seat in the classroom and bringing out his notebook. He can feel himself zoning out before the professor even starts speaking.

Love is a strange word to Tsukishima Kei. It’s something his mom, and occasionally brother, say to him. Something on instinct, as if a promise would be broken if the words weren’t uttered.

Tsukishima had been 5 years old when he asked his mom about it. At the time he only repeated it back to her, an echo of her declaration, unaware of what he was promising her.

“it’s a feeling, Kei. Love is what you feel when you care for someone deeply. And so, you tell them.”

“do you have to say it?”

His mom stops for a moment, pondering before brushing his hair back and shaking her head. “no, you don’t have to say it. But you should at least show it to the people you love.”

Tsukishima continued telling his mom that he loves her up until elementary school. He still loves her after that, but his priorities shifted.

Tsukishima had been 8 years old when he realizes that he loves you.

The feeling grew stronger every day, your smile brightening his day and your laughter making his heart flutter in a strange way.

“Kei-Kei! Look, I found a snail! There’s more over there, come on!” your excited voice made his heart swell in his chest. Your small hand gripped his, tugging him through the mud and puddles on the yard, giggling happily despite the rain pouring down.

He starts drawing you pictures of snails. Small doodles placed on your desk before recess. He points them out after it’s rained, pulling you along to bend down and watch them slowly drag along the road on the way home from school.

You get interested in frogs, cats, worms, bees, even ants for a while. Tsukishima joined your obsessions, indulging you with drawings, books and pictures. One time he collected worms in a bucket on his walk home, handing them to you when he arrived at your house, knowing that you were ill and hoping the wigglies, as you called them, would make you happier. The smile you gave him burned into his mind, and he wanted to see it again and again until the end of time.

He loves you, even his young mind can grasp that. He hopes that you can tell.

Tsukishima is 12 years old when he realizes that he’s in love with you.

Valentine’s day was never something he’d pay attention to. It seemed silly to him, a whole day just to talk about love? Stupid. Love is something you feel, so you say it or show it and that’s that, why spend a whole day talking about it?

That is, until you run up to him the day before, excitement flashing in your eyes.

“Kei-Kei, do you know what day it is tomorrow?” your hands gripped his arms, nearly shaking him. The familiar blush grows on his face and he shakes his head, hoping you don’t notice how his skin is turning pinker by the second. “it’s valentine’s day! I heard some of the older boys talking in the hallway about what they’re doing for their girlfriends and it seems so cute! Like, oh, one is going to take his girlfriend out roller skating, isn’t that so romantic? And this other boy was saying that-“

Tsukishima tunes your voice out, focusing his attention to your lips moving. Your hands are still gripping his arms and a part of him wishes that you’d never let go, feeling his skin burning under his clothes. You’re standing so close; he could lean his head forward just a bit and his lips could be on yours. If he just-

“-Oh! And I heard some girls talking before gym that the boys in our class were going to confess to their crushes tomorrow! Do you think anyone will confess to me? I hope so” your words snap him back to reality. His eyes go slightly wide, looking into yours. Confess? You wanted one of the stupid boys in your class to confess?

A twinge of discomfort stabs in his stomach, his body filling with sudden annoyance. “no way” he scoffs.

He’s never regretted anything more in his life.

The excitement drains from your eyes and your hands fall from his arms. Before he can think, your chin quivers and you nod silently, turning around and running away.

The discomfort in his stomach only grows, changing and chafing along with an ache in his chest, all annoyance drained from his body in an instance.

He draws a picture of a snail and dinosaur, writing your names over them. Underneath he scribbles an apology. A quick “I’m sorry”, and he places it in your mailbox on his way home.

The next day, he sees you on the yard of the school, standing excitedly in front of a boy and throwing your arms around him.

Tsukishima is 13 years old when he realizes that you don’t love him back. Not in the way he wants.

Though, to be honest, he knew from the moment he saw you with the boy from your class walk home together from school, hand in hand.

You’re both in junior high and all you seem to want to talk about is your stupid boyfriend. It’s a different boy, not the same one he saw you with that previous February. This one is taller, not as tall as Tsukishima, but you say that height isn’t something you look for in a boyfriend. He can’t help but to feel the jealousy and sadness seep in at that.

“he’s older, you know. He’s turning 15 in a few weeks and he says that I can meet his family at his birthday party.” You’re seated on Tsukishima’s bed while he’s at the desk, trying to tune you out and do his homework. He hopes you’ll stop talking about him and do the same. You don’t. “oh, and I know you’ve never had a girlfriend, so you won’t know this, but he’s such a good kisser. Like, you can definitely tell that he’s got some experience compared to my ex. Isn’t that so weird? Me? Having an ex?”

Tsukishima doesn’t like this. You’re changing, trying to be older than you actually are to impress this older boy that he’s never even met. Not that he wants to. He’s gotten used to the dull ache of his heart breaking over and over again, the steady and constant reminder that you won’t ever see him the way that he sees you. He’s mastered the art of seeming okay, masking his feelings and pushing them deep down where no living soul will ever see them. But if he had to see you with this… boyfriend… he’s not sure that he’d recover.

So instead, he shuts up. He stays quiet and lets you babble on about all the little things that this boy does for you, letting the ache in his chest grow and grow. It’s better than the alternative, telling you how he feels. No, that’s not an option. He can’t risk losing you.

Tsukishima Kei is an idiot. He knows this for a fact after having to watch you pine after endless boys and men all the way up until university. Boyfriends that come and go, the make out sessions that he gets graphic descriptions of and a constant damp shoulder from holding you after your heart gets broken.

He pretends to laugh along when you joke about him being single for so long, his heart squeezing painfully at the reminder that his long-time crush has eyes for every man except him.

He only comes back from his heart-break haze when he steps into the gym after class. Only he wishes that he hadn’t.

Calling out a greeting, he sees you standing alone with Kyoutani. Except he’s not sure if it counts as standing, it’s more of a pinning to the wall. Kyoutani’s body caging you in, your back pressed to the wall with your hands around his neck. Even from a distance, he can see your usual excited smile, happy to have gotten attention from the boy you’d been pining after.

“sorry.” Tsukishima can only mutter, quickly turning around and walking out the gym again. He can hear your muffled voice, probably reassuring Kyoutani that it’s okay. He wishes that he’d walked faster, so he would’ve missed the unmistakable sounds of kissing and your soft sighs.

Tsukishima hasn’t let himself cry over you in years. He forces himself to go numb, push away any and all bad feelings until his breathing gets steady and he can look you in the eye again.

But this time, he can’t stop it. He’s fallen to the floor as soon as the bathroom door locks behind him. It’s disgusting, sitting on the floor with his hands pressed to his eyes, trying to force the tears back inside. His classes clink onto the floor, skidding away from him as his body shakes.

Tears stream down his face and drips down his shirt, turning the fabric into a blotchy mess, matching his flushed face and the snot running from his nose. His sobs echo off the walls, arms hugging his knees while the image of your body pressed against his teammate flashes behind his eyes every time he blinks.

He hasn’t cried over you in years. So, when it all hits him, it hits hard.

He misses practice completely, spending his time laying on the filthy floor in the bathroom and clutching his chest, trying to bring the broken pieces back together. He finally stands after what feels like an eternity. Picking up his glasses from the floor, he puts them on and watches himself in the mirror. Face flushed pink, eyes bloodshot and snot running from his nose, he thinks about what his mother said when he was a kid.

“love is what you feel when you care for someone deeply.”

A bitter laugh fills the room, his own hard eyes meeting him in the mirror.

His mother was wrong. Love isn’t what you feel when you care for someone deeply. All you feel is pain. The dull twisting of a knife in your chest as you watch the one you love fall for someone else, over and over again until you accept that their soft and loving eyes will never meet yours. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself when you’re standing in the bathroom of the gym where you saw said person fall in love with someone new. That you’ve accepted it.

#wilted.flowers #wilted.tsukishima #sprout.tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima angst #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst

85 notes · View notes

kaitycole · 3 years

Text

Love One: the love that looks right

Summary: Ushijima has been your neighbor and best friend for most of your life, so it's no surprise that you two end up being each other's first relationship. But can a relationship that's label as perfect from the beginning, that's seen as being 'The One', can it last?

Parings: Ushijima x Reader

Word Count: 4916

Warnings: Fluff? Light angst.

Rating: 16+

A/N: This series is based on an article that talks about how in live, most of us experience three types of love. I’ll link the article in the series master post for anyone who wants to read it!

2000 – 6 years old

“Toshi! Toshi!” You ran down the steps in front of your house, skipping across the yard and into the neighboring yard, continuing to shout out of the young boy. You found him, watering can in hand, inspecting some plant whose name you can’t remember even though he’s told you several times.

A smirk appeared as you slowed your pace, creeping up behind him before you jumped onto his back, yelling his name a bit too loudly and too close to his ear. He gasped, water spilled everywhere as the can fell, and before he could balance his footing, you fell off his back, landing directly on his plant.

“Oops, sorry Toshi.” You took the hand that he offered, fixed your eyes on the tips of your shoes, tears pooled in your eyes. “It was an accident. Promise.”

He didn’t say anything, gentle hands tried to get the plant to stand, but the broken stem caused it to just fall back onto the soil. His face remained stoic and you couldn’t help but feel terrible, waiting for him to get mad at you. But he didn’t, he just stared at the broken plant, small hands tightly gripped the watering can handle.

He finally looked over at you, tears fell down your cheeks as you stood there, trembling.

He looked around until bright yellow and blue caught your eye, walking to the other side of the yard he picked up the volleyball, turning towards you. “Let’s play.”

A huge smile tugged at your lips before you eagerly agreed, running over towards him, this time just throwing your arms around him. Even though you do most of the talking and he’s usually just going along with one of your various demands, Wakatoshi always seemed to know how to make you feel better. After all, you had both promised to be best friends forever.

* * 2010– 16 years old

You let out a sigh, tugging at the purple tie around your neck before glancing out the window. For some reason that day just won’t end, each minute creeping by at a snail-pace, but the blur of green catches your eye. You watch at Ushijima walks through the courtyard, carrying some large box for a teacher who seems to be repeatedly thanking him and you can’t help but smile.

The Ushijimas have been in your life since before you were even born, both of your dads had attended Shiratorizawa Academy back in the day and never really lost contact, even when Utsui moved overseas. Unlike Ushijima, you have a younger brother who’s five years younger than you, but most days the two of you would be found together, usually with either him suggesting volleyball or him just dragging his feet to follow after whatever you wanted to do.

The bell finally rings, signaling the lunch break and you eagerly pack up your books before grabbing your bag and heading out to the courtyard. At first you were worried about school, wondering how you’d be able to fit in, but you ended up going to the same schools with Ushijima and even if you’d only get a small head nod, you still knew he was there. The downside was the amounts of classmates that would try to use you to get close to him, those confessing their crushes for him to you in hopes you’d spread it along with a good word. Not to mention the lack of confessions you’d receive due to the intimidating aura that surrounded Ushijima and the well-known fact you two were close.

“Y/N!” Your best friend, Ren, smiles as she waves you over to your usual table. Ren is one of the only girls who hadn’t tried to get you to talk them up to Ushijima, her sight is set on Yamagata Hayato.

“You okay? You look tired.” Tensei asks, sitting across from you, unscrewing the bottle of juice in his hand.

“The day just feels like it’s dragging for some reason.” You let out a small yawn, excusing yourself as you start to eat the lunch you packed.

“Are you—” Ren starts before she’s interrupted, a random second year coming up to your table.

“Hey, L/N-san,” she starts, “is Ushijima seeing anyone?”

You want to roll your eyes, to let out an agitated sigh and tell her to just leave, but you don’t because it’s not entirely her fault that you get asked this frequently. You couldn’t blame her, he was easy on the eyes, but it didn’t stop part of you from getting a tad bit jealous.

“He’s actually in a committed relationship with Mizuna.” Tensei says, trying to hold back a laugh.

“Or was it Misaka?” Ren teasingly add, watching the second year cross her arms as she storms off.

“You two are trouble.” You laugh, taking a bit of the sandwich you brought, “what are you gonna do when she figures out they are sporting brands?”

“I doubt it. She’ll probably spend the rest of the term trying to figure out which year and class they are in.”

You just shake your head, completely entertained by that idea, mentally noting to use that next time someone asked you about Ushijima’s relationship status. Ren and Tensei are talking about something, but your focus shifts to Ushijima as you see him and Tendou walking through the courtyard, missing the smirk that your two friends share.

“Y/N,” you snap your attention to Ren, “speaking of Ushijima, when are you two going to date?”

It feels like the wind has been knocked out of you, but when you try to breathe in, it’s an icy sensation like winter air. The topic has come up before, several times in fact, but why did this time feel different? You feel your cheeks heat up when Ushijima makes eye contact, he throws up a hand, the closest anyone gets to a wave from him.

“You guys would make a good couple.” Tensei adds, getting an encouraging nod from Ren.

“We’re just friends.” You wave them both off, hoping they’d let it go.

Ren shrugs, “I don’t know. He looks at you differently than everyone else.”

You feel your heart start to thump against your chest, the heat from your cheeks rising to your ears and all you can hear is your racing heart. Did he? Was there a chance that maybe he felt the same way you had? It didn’t take a genius to see that he’s handsome or that even if he’s not the brightest academically, he makes up for it with his athletics.

It never bothered you when you had to help him study, in fact you preferred it because the little crease he got between his eyebrows when he was determined to get something, it was one of your favorite sights. You just never bothered to voice those feelings, hoping that maybe it would help things hurt less when he started dating someone else.

** “Y/N~”

“Tendou!” You jump up from the spot you’ve been sitting outside the gym, wrapping the middle blocker into a hug.

“Have you been out here the whole time? It’s cold, Y/N!”

You give him a sheepish smile, “I forgot my jacket and was waiting for Toshi.”

Tendou shakes his head before tightening his hug around you, he’s warm and you try to soak up the heat. “Ushijima, give me your jacket.” “You have yours on, why do you need mine?” “Just hand it here.” Tendou leans his head backwards to see Ushijima, “please~”

Unfazed, the wing spiker slips out of his jacket, handing it over. Tendou takes it and drapes it over your shoulders, it practically swallows your smaller frame.

“Thanks,” you mumble, basking in the warmth the oversized jacket brings you, your nose burying into the collar as you take in Wakatoshi’s scent. Your eyes widen when you realize what you’re doing, the heat you felt at lunch covering your face again.

“Y/N?” The tall olive-brown haired boy calls out to you and you slowly peak around Tendou, who has a mischievous grin on his face.

“Hey there, Toshi!” You grip the strap of your bag a bit tighter.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming, I’d have given you my jacket before practice.” There’s a flicker of concern in his eyes as he walks closer to you.

“I was fine, really.” You smile up at him before Tendou announces his departure leaving just the two of you. It’s not an uncommon situation, you grew up together but for some reason ever since lunch, just the topic of Ushijima leaves you a mess. Ren’s comment from lunch running through your mind repeatedly.

He looks at you differently than everyone else.

“Ren said we should date.” You tell him, laughing as you recall the conversation. The walk to your dorms is rather peaceful, the two of you exchanging highlights of your day, er well more of you talking about everything that happened while Ushijima listens.

“Okay.”

“Hm?”

“Let’s date then.” Ushijima says matter-of-factly, before he leaves you standing in front of your dorm, dazed and confused, as he heads towards his.

** Your eyes are closed, sleep still weighing them down as you sling your bag over your shoulder, opening the door of your room to head out. But you stop abruptly when you feel yourself run into something, or rather someone and looking up confirms it’s Toshi.

“Uh—” You’re at a loss for what to say, this wasn’t something that happened…ever. Sure, you’d both would sometimes hang out in each other’s rooms, but he never just showed up to yours first thing in the morning.

“Good morning, Y/N.” His voice is his usual even tone which confuses you even more because Ushijima didn’t do anything without a reason, everything had purpose.

“Toshi?” He raises an eyebrow at your question, “don’t take this the wrong way, but uhm, why are you here?”

“Tendou said people in relationships do things like walking to classes and such together. Should I not have come?”

For the first time in 10 years, Ushijima looks unsure and even a bit nervous which is new to you. He’s always put together on the court and at school that it’s almost refreshing to know this was as nerve-wracking for him as it is you.

“I like that you came.” You smile up to him, closing your door before you both begin walking down the hallway. The warmth his hand brings yours causes your heart to thump against your ribs, his larger hand embracing yours. “Tendou tell you about that too?” “No, I figured this out on my own.” He clears his throat, looking away from you but slow enough for you to catch the faint blush under his eyes.

** A month had passed since you and Toshi started dating before you had been able to go home and tell both sets of parents. You felt that a phone call would’ve sufficed, if you were honest, Toshi’s mom scared you a bit, but he persuaded you that in person was better.

The first half of the dinner is awkward, the atmosphere feels heavy around you as you engage in simple small talk about your studies and clubs, luckily for you Toshi had lots to say about volleyball and took over the conversation.

“Anything new in your lives?” Toshi’s mom gave you a look and you could’ve swore that she already knew.

“Actually, Y/N and I are dating.” Toshi’s tone is flat and even, throwing you off on how he just continues eating after dropping such a bomb. It wasn’t lost on you that his family still has traditional views and part of you wonders if you’re good enough to fill the spot at his side. A comforting hand is placed on your thigh, as if he’s read your mind and you smile to yourself.

“That’s wonderful news.” His mother smiles, turning to yours before they start discussing officially announcing the relationship (whatever that meant) and how it was about time the two of you got together. Listening to them going on and on about things made a lot of your worries fade away, it was a relief that they both were so onboard with the relationship.

* * 2011 – 17 years old

It’s been a year since you started dating Ushijima and it’s been a lot different that you thought it would be, not that you thought about it that much. And while things didn’t seem to change all that much, they changed completely. You weren’t just two friends walking to classes, but a couple. You weren’t just watching his matches like a childhood friend, but as a supportive partner.

When you had thought of dating, of being in a relationship, there was always the anticipation of getting to know your partner, but with Ushijima, you don’t get that. With Ushijima, it’s just seeing what you’re always known within a different light, but somehow that makes you feel like he’s ‘The One’ because how romantic is it to fall in love with the one who has been by your side for as long as you can remember? Even with the deep level of comfort you two share, your face still heats up when he reaches down to grab your hand, when he leans to kiss you goodnight and even when someone refers to him as your boyfriend.

* * “SHIIIIRATORIZAWA!!”

The beatings of drums and cheers of support fill the gymnasium, your voice getting hoarse from chanting as loudly as you can. For as long as you can remember, you attended Toshi’s volleyball games and somewhere during one of the games you found yourself truly loving the sport. Nothing really changed now that you were dating, other than the fact you seemed your swell up with even more pride when he hit spike or made a service ace and you were also seen sporting one of his spare athletic jackets with a simple purple shirt.

There was just something special about seeing the person you love doing something they’re so passionate about that make it impossible to not smile the whole time you’re watching them.

“You two are the cutest couple!”

“Oh, thank you.” Even after a year, you still weren’t used to people commenting on your relationship, mostly because no other relationship was talked about as much as yours.

“Talk about a perfect match!”

Another classmate seems to appear out of nowhere, adding the other comments, “I’m so jealous!”

You try to drown out their conversation, not wanting to hear about their surface deep comments, but you can’t. Standing up you look at the court one more time, Ushijima clearly in his element, a few points away from taking not just the set, but the match. Then, for the first time since you started attending his matches, you left the game early.

** “So, Y/N, when’s the wedding?” Ren jokes, getting a glare from Tensei who wants to get back to the focus of their gathering: studying for their upcoming math exam.

“What?” There’s a lot more panic in your voice that you intended and you can’t help but feel your face burn with embarrassment. You grab your math textbook, trying to hide your face before either of them sees, but of course they do.

“You and Toshi, are you planning to get married out of high school? Or waiting until after college?”

“Clearly Y/N wants to get back to studying. You remember, the whole reason we are here?” Tensei side eyes Ren before shaking his head. The two start to bicker back and forth, arguing about if breaks are really needed during studying or if they just cause unnecessary distractions that derail the whole point.

Your thoughts have you far from their debate and more so on what Ren asked. Marriage, it wasn’t like you didn’t think about it happening…eventually. But lately the whole concept, even the word alone has you on edge.

Back when you first started dating, you two were quick to share the news with your families and while you had a feeling they assumed this would happen eventually, they still seemed thrilled. Part of you could barely contain your happiness that your relationship had been accepted so quickly, knowing from movies and books you’ve read, not all relationships get family support. Another part of you was filled with a sinking feeling, a fear that eventually as your relationship grew and matured, the expectations from your families would increase, and they were doing just that.

Just a few weeks ago, you heard both of your mothers talking about it between themselves, seemingly making plans without any consideration of you or Toshi’s feelings. After that it left you wondering about your future and how your plans would fit into the heavy expectations the Ushijimas seemed to already have. Remembering the almost pitying laugh Toshi’s mother had given when you mentioned going to college and how she was quick to remind you that someone had to be the stay-at-home parent with children and Toshi couldn’t since he had a promising future in volleyball.

** “Happy birthday, Y/N!” Ren, Tensei and Tendou shout at you, crossing the courtyard to get closer to the table you were sitting at. Embarrassment crept across your skin, feeling like everyone’s eyes were suddenly on you, something you hated.

“Thanks.” You give them all a tight ‘please never do that again’ smile which just makes them laugh.

“Y/N.”

The voice causes you to quickly turn and you see Toshi standing there, a slightly obnoxiously large bouquet in his hand and you wish you hadn’t felt so embarrassed over your friends because now you definitely knew people were looking.

It had been a while since you and Toshi had gotten together for more than ten minutes, his schedule had gotten busier, you couldn’t remember when he was ever this busy before. You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he remembered your birthday and gotten you something.

“Toshi!” You throw your arms around him, smiling even more when he tells you happy birthday, loud enough for just you to hear.

Comments about how cute you two were, how great a relationship you had start to fill the courtyard and while you usually get sick of hearing it, it reminded you that you didn’t have much to complain about. Sure, Toshi’s schedule seemed to get busier every day, but he still carved time out for you and that’s what really mattered.

* * 2012 – 18 years old

You look up and towards the door when you hear the bell ring, hoping that it’s Toshi. The two of you agreed to meet up at a café before seeing a movie, he was running a bit late because he had a meeting with Coach Washijō. A deep sigh leaves you as you realize that it’s not Toshi and instead you are still alone.

DING!

Toshi: Coach Washijō wants me to meet with some alumni players. (12:31PM) Toshi: I can’t make it today. (12:32PM)

You should��ve seen it coming, honestly. He has always been a force in the volleyball circuit, but with graduation coming up and professional scouters about, he seems to be in even more demand. You are proud of him, proud of all he’s accomplished, but as his partner, you felt like you were just getting the short end of the stick most of the time.

** “I’m all yours today, I promise.” Toshi says, standing at your room door, a small bouquet of flowers in his hand.

You can’t help but smile, you’re still upset about yesterday, but you know he’s trying and that the small amount of free time he actually gets, he spends with you. You step aside and let him in and he takes a seat in your desk chair, even after years of being friends and almost two years of dating, he refuses to just sit on your bed. He really could be a huge dork sometimes.

“Did you have something in mind?” You wrap your blanket back around you, originally planning to spend your free Sunday catching up on shows you missed.

“Anything you want to do, I owe you.”

A mischievous smirk crosses your face as you jump up, rushing into the bathroom. “Face masks!”

He nods, “whatever you want.”

** You look over at your calendar that’s hanging on the wall, today’s date is circled and you feel a little silly for being so upset. Today marks two years with Toshi, but for what felt like the hundredth time this month, you were in your room alone. He had sent flowers and a small gift, of course, he never missed sending something on anniversaries, birthdays or other holidays, but coming second to volleyball was getting old.

The part of you that is petty wants to think Coach Washijō is doing it on purpose, but what did you think would happen when dating one of the top 3 aces in Japan? Still, you just thought this time could be different. Then you were hit with an overwhelming feeling that this would be your life. At least your life if you ended up staying with Toshi. He would go pro, you knew that and with his family’s traditional ways, you’d end up staying at home with children your mothers had envisioned for you, not bothering to ask either of you what you wanted.

Waiting, that’s what their future held for you, just waiting for him to come home. And just like yesterday and today, every day would just feel the same.

Did you want that?

There was nothing wrong with those who wanted that life, but it wasn’t ever what you thought yours would be. You wanted to go to a good university, to join the career field you dreamed of and definitely saw traveling in that future.

What’s worse that the feeling of a bleak future is knowing if you told Toshi, he’d do anything he could to fix it. And what’s worse that that is the feeling that while you love him so much you could feel it deep in your bones, a future without him was more desirable that one with him.

How could a relationship that seemed so perfect to everyone around you, feel so wrong to those in it?

** “Mom?”

“Hmm?”

Finals were just around the corner and Toshi had thought it would be a good idea for the two of you to visit home, not to mention being at home meant less volleyball obligations and more time he could spend with you.

“I don’t think things are going to work out with Toshi.”

The room stilled, though you’re sure if it had been a movie scene, the glass vase in her hands would’ve shattered as it hit the ground.

Yesterday when you two got home, both your parents had been acting strange, so happy that it was like they were floating. It wasn’t until later in the night when you met up with Toshi for a walk that he told you his mother mentioned you two getting engaged, dropping not subtle hints of a post-graduation proposal.

The ground fell from beneath you, all the air in your lungs being sucked out, the only thing saving you was how Toshi told you that he didn’t agree with her plans. That you two should be the ones discussing it, not your parents and that his focus on volleyball blurred out things like proposals and weddings. Even with those words, you still knew how hard it would be for family-oriented Wakatoshi to go against his family; the thought of how different he would be if his dad had raised him crossed your mind.

“Whatever the problem is, I’m sure you can fix it.”

You snort, how cliché for her to blame you. “I just don’t know if our futures line up. We both want such different lives.’

She finally turns to face you, her jaw clenched, “nonsense, you two are perfect together.”

Perfect.

That word has long been on a list of words you hate, one you are tired of hearing, sick of being called that when you know it was far from true. By definition, it means having desirable qualities or characteristic, something that was as good as it could possibly. If you tried hard enough to see your relationship from an outsider’s perspective, maybe after you squint hard enough you could see it. Could understand why perfect was used, how great things looked. You had a boyfriend who would try to move the sun for you if you asked, one who did his best to be there for you and see every chance he got, on the surface level you really had nothing to complain about.

But on the inside, you were two ships passing in opposite directions. Maybe it was true that some relationships are just too good to be true, that some people are better as just friends, that some friendships can’t last when changed to a relationship.

** “Y/N~”

You look over to see Tendou practically skipping towards you, a smile on his face while he wrapped his arms around you from behind, leaning to rest his chin on your shoulder.

“Tendou!”

“What’s wrong?” He lets go of, taking the empty seat beside you. You had been sitting on a bench, hoping some fresh air could clear your head. It was just a few days until graduation and the looming expectations of both families started weighing down more, plus Toshi was even more busy with volleyball since word got out that he had gotten a few offers already, so you didn’t have anyone to really talk to about it.

“Nothing. Just tired.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you know Tendou doesn’t believe you. He had an uncanny ability to pick up on things like that.

“Tell me, Y/N.”

That’s all it took for you to finally break, the mix of the gently words and his soft tone. He listened as you tell him about Toshi’s traditional family (most of which he already knows) and the over the top expectations both your families seem to have.

How a future together seems more like a nightmare than a dream come true but not because you don’t love him, maybe because you love him too much. Love him so much that you don’t want him pushed into some life just or being with you. And by the time you finish up by telling him how it’s been hurting you to hold everything in, not wanting to burden Toshi, you are in tears.

** “Can we talk, Y/N?”

You nod, biting on the inside of your cheek. Graduation had been a week ago and since coming home, your parents (namely mother) had been discussing wedding plans and wondering just when Toshi would pop the questions, so it’s no surprise when they light up when seeing it’s him at the door.

He takes your hand, gently squeezing when he feels you flinch, the notion instantly calming you. He motions for you to sit on a bench in the nearby park that you’ve been walking towards, but when he sighs, you start to worry.

“I spoke to Tendou a few days ago and he helped me understand a few things.” “Toshi, I—”

He holds up a hand, “please let me talk first.”

You nod, noting a small crack in his voice as he squats in front of you, taking your hands.

“My life has always been volleyball, it’s what I’m good at and I know that being a boyfriend isn’t something I’m good at. But even with that, you still carried our relationship even when you stopped being happy.” He keeps his eyes focused on your hands, leaving you to look at the top of his head. “Now It’s time for me to take the burden from you and I’m okay with being the bad guy if it means that you’ll smile like you used to. So, Y/N, will you break up with me?”

You burst into laughter and tear, knowing that he must’ve been given that words from Tendou and practiced them ‘because it didn’t sound like him. “Our parents are going to be disappointed.” He shrugs, “I’ll blame volleyball.”

You wipe the tears from your cheeks, the sleeve of your sweater gets a bit damp. “It hurts because I love you so much.”

He grabs your wrists, tugging you into his chest, the calming scent of his body wash soothes you. “I love you too.”

“Is it selfish to ask if we can still be friends?” You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, fresh tears pricking your eyes. How was it fair that two people who love each other so deeply, just weren’t meant to be? You didn’t have a breakup to compare this one too, but you didn’t think anything else could ever hurt this much.

“I believe someone declared we’d be friends forever. I might have been a bad boyfriend, but I think I’m a good friend.”

Smiling, you look at him, he wipes the tears away with his thumb, his hand cupping your cheek. “I don’t think you were a bad boyfriend, just a busy one.” “You were a perfect girlfriend.” He stands up, pulling you to your feet as well.

“I can still come to your games, right? Having an ex wouldn’t be too weird?” “No. I’ll always need my number one fan.”

Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

Interested in the rest of the series? --> Series Masterlist

Interested in other works? --> Masterlist

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu ushijima #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x reader #haikyuu au #haikyuu ushiwaka #hq fluff #hq angst #my three loves #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #ushijima x gn!reader #haikyuu mini series #kaitycole MTL #the love that feels right #hq first love

87 notes · View notes

vespertineart · 3 years

Text

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'𝓫𝓪𝓭 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓱 𝓲𝓽'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"𝔾𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕘𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕗."

Jotaro kujo x Fem! reader

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Life moves so fast. Too fast, for your liking. Maybe it's because your childhood wasn't the nicest, so you have wallowed in the sadness it brought you too much that you weren't aware of time, or the fact that you were so wrapped up in one future, you thought your life depended on nothing but academic purpose. At least then. Or maybe it's because you never realized how much you've wanted to do in your life until three years ago. You're still young, though a young adult, and you shouldn't be worried about the consequences of things you never did. Though, maybe they would affect you later on.

It's always been overwhelmingly depressing when you realize you can't relate to that flurrery feeling every one of your classmates told you about when bungee jumping or simply touching a manta ray. Never have you had the chance to visit a very famous amusement park because of how expensive it was. All of that would make you the odd one out in any friend group, which is why you never bothered to start a close friendship with someone.

However, this year was different. Let aside the fact that you missed out on all your school year's material, you experienced something far more exciting than anyone's ever had. Your mind still finds itself boggled by the sudden event. One second you're with your classmate who you knew nothing about at the time, and the next he's in jail, and you're with his grandfather trying nag get him out.

You can't even bring yourself to comprehend how you even got a grip on the whole situation, how you managed to have yourself thrown into the formula, from going to Egypt and saving Miss Holly, to fighting Dio and even almost dying with Kakyoin and Avdol who are currently in different hospitals. It all still feels so surreal.

Unconsciously, as you reminisce, your fingers brush the large scar that lays unveiled on the surface of your forearm, reaching from your wrist to your cheek, a few scabs still blanketing random edges on it. Soon, your hands found themselves reaching your currently broken and cast ankle. Your crutches lay limp on your leg. Your skin is cold, and so is the wind hitting it. For May, this is probably the longest it has taken to become warm.

"Oi, yn." You're snapped out of your daze when a certain deep voice calls out to you, a coherent tinge of worry trailing at the end of the person's greeting.

The all-familiar, stinging scent of cologne immediately assures you of who this person is. You let out a sigh, dipping your head down, eyes closed, a delightful sense of relief washing over you.

"Hey, Jojo. Thanks," you greet as you take a weak hold of the beer can your companion bought you. After a while of shuffling, both of you got your backs comfortable on the strong walls of the school's roof, taking in the cool wind as it brushes through your hair. The sun is set, but there is still a bit of sunlight left, it mixes beautifully with the soft white streetlights and spots of yellow, red and blue in the far distance which homes and billboards emit. If you focus enough, you can see a light silhouette of hills.

Jojo. Jotaro kujo. You recite that name on your tongue every night, sometimes in fear you might forget it. Some of his admirers despise you for it. For having the advantage of calling out to him whenever you want and he'd answer you, and only you. Your classmates say you're extremely lucky, like you've won a million-dollar bet for being his first and closest female friend. He's never down to open up, but from your experience, he's desperate for any type of companionship. However, the so-called advantages were never what this was all about for you. If it was, you'd know barely anything about each other, and you're glad you could become more than just classmates after the whole Egypt thing. To you, his friendship depended and revolved more around trust and means of comfort than just mainly using him for safety and assumed attention. The fact that he's truly a hard to crack shell of a man—that you somehow managed to turn into ash the moment you told him to 'get the fuck out of the jail room, you look ridiculous' —never mattered to you more than how closer you wish to get to him. Focusing in front of you again you watch the colors of the clouds merge with the dark purple of the sky. The stars are already out, and a beautiful half-moon is shining brighter than ever. You pout, disappointed of the incoming inability to see it in full display due to the sky's current cloudy state.

"Old man called me yesterday." You turned your head to Jotaro, eyes immediately locking with his. Just the simple fact that both of you go out of your ways to fully focus on each other makes your relationship all the more mutual. Jotaro, especially, he's never felt as easy with anyone as he has with you, and kakyoin, too, but he'd never say it directly to any of you . At night, when he's lost in his thought, he finds himself thinking of you. How kind you are and how you never seem to see the bad in anything despite having a bad past. He'd never admit it let alone say it with his tongue but he tries to take advantage of that kindness, in a way to make sure nothing will happen to you. He can't afford to lose anyone else. He also doesn't know if the fact that he thinks of you is more embarrassing, or the fact that he secretly wants to let his walls down in front of you one day. The thought comforts him, but, as usual, he's too meek about it, since there were many times his 'kindness' would be misunderstood as romantic intent. Well, he's doubting that, anyways, specifically with you.

"hm?" you reply, taking a sip of the refreshing drink in your hand. Your fingers wrap around each other, holding the can in a tight and secure grip. You're prone to dropping your drinks now and then, so you found this to be the most practical way of 'protecting them'. Yes, you look stupid when you end up dropping them either way. You two always get a good laugh from it, so at least there isn't any embarrassment happening.

"He was wondering if you wanted to stay with us for a couple more weeks. Mom misses you already." Jotaro exhales, smoke filling the air around you and mixing with his musky cologne to create an unbearable scent you never wanted to forget. The mention of Mr. Joestar for the third time this month makes your eyes widen. It was all for the same reason too. You lived alone for a long time now, and you've gotten very used to the lonely and eerie feeling of your dark home at night. However, of course, after meeting the Joestars, Joseph couldn't possibly leave you without pampering you so much, especially after helping with saving his precious daughter. You were grateful. You always are for what he does for you, but just enough for him to make you basically live with him is something you can't quite afford. Not money-wise, it's just that you don't have anything to give them in return, and offering your life also meant living with them. The cycle goes on.

With a grunt, you twist your form to face Jotaro, your hands pushing hard on the floor to support your frail physique.

"Jojo...I really appreciate it, but I have things to do at my house. I need to clean it, take care of the food that's been in the fridge for almost a month now. Maybe another time, but I really don't want to trouble you guys like this. You've done way too much for me already," you excuse, trying your best to scoot closer to your friend. As a final task for the day, you set yourself up on your knees and wrap your arms around the much larger man, patting him on the back a couple of times before planting a heavy peck on his forehead. "And you can stop worrying about me so much now, Joot. I'm really fine, thanks to you." A warm smile graces your lips as you speak your soft words to Jotaro, seeing his panicked eyes slowly close as he scoffs, pushing you away and hiding his rose-tinted face with the shadow of his hat.

"I'm still walking you home."

As much as you want to, you can't complain with a broken ankle. Who knows what might happen if you're too slow with walking? Over his dead body will Jotaro Kujo let anyone lay a finger on you...

~~~~~~~~~

The slow crunching of pebble and dust under heavy boots and the repetitive melody of crickets in the grass is enough to get you woozy in the freezing weather of tonight. The wind started picking up a long while ago, and you fear it might get worse before you reach your home. Clouds are grey and dull as they sway in a quick pace in the blue-black sky. The vigorous rustling of trees makes your ears tingle. Your pores are open with sweat, the droplets slowly trickling down your face and quickly drying out. Your arms over your crutches, your stomach hurting from excessive contraction, your breath becomes heavy, and your chest begins to hurt. It's been well over 20 minutes since you guys have been walking, and you're starting to hate yourself for letting Jotaro deal with your snail-paced struggle on a day like this.

Without a word, you sigh, then slowly crouch down to reach the floor. However, from how your ankle is positioned, the momentum you pushed yourself down with was faster than you anticipated, and you gasp. Bracing yourself for impact, you let go of your crutches hastily, spreading your arms in front of you to prepare support. Your eyes close tightly and you clench your stomach, a second away from hitting the concrete before feeling a soft barrier holding you up. Slowly, you open your eyes again, to find none other than Jotaro, encasing you in his large, jacket-cushioned arms. Without a chance to react, you feel yourself getting pulled up, hoisted up a millimeter high and huddled in your friend's arms again only this time in a better position for him to be able to swing your legs over to the side.

"Good grief, woman. What the hell were you doing?!" At this position, you can clearly hear the growl in Jotaro's voice. Heck, his breath is right in your ear. Inevitably, you shiver, letting out a huff of air. You feel yourself blush out of embarrassment when he gives you a side eye and you prepare to find a good answer to his question.

"Sorry, I wanted to sit down a bit...I uh..wasnt expecting to...fall-"

"Whatever, just stop talking or you'll die. And you're freezing ," Jotaro interrupts, leaning down to grab your crutches, still holding onto you. His head rests on your shoulder as he bends down, his fingers curling with ease around the handles.

Still shocked from the sudden ordeal, you start shuffling in Jotaro's arms, earning a grunt from him.

"Stay still, yn, for fuck's sake!"

"I-I can still walk on my own, JoJo!"

Annoyingly, or rather, smugly, Jotaro ignores your comment, only dragging his disagreement further by hoisting you up further so your figure is tucked snuggly between his arms. This proves his previous comment of how cold you actually are, seeing as you immediately melt into his arms, eyes almost instantly closing as you sigh, taking in the comfortable warmth of the thick fabric of his clothes.

when you look back at him, you decide not to complain any more when he raises an eyebrow at you and lets out chuckle. You just stare at the fading stars, keeping the image of his rare smile in your head along your little journey.

As you space out, your eyes having no place to stay still as the clouds move endlessly, you shake your head, feeling the pain in the back of your head from how dizzy you've become. This world is too big for even eyes to bear. you let out a mall sigh, the incoming comfort quickly cut off as you gasp. A wet droplet found its way on your nose uninvited. You look at Jotaro, expecting to see his face dotted with a bit if sweat, but that wasn't the case. Another droplet, and a third, and soon you see one slip off from Jotaro's hat. Oh... Ooooh...

Oh shit.

You gasp once more, suddenly sitting up and causing Jotaro to retract his head with a grunt.

"What the hell?!"

"Jojo it's raining!"

"And..?! Jeez you overreact."

With a pout, you hit the top of your friend's head, earning a stutter from him.

"C-can you walk a bit faster..? I can't have you getting sick, " you complain, clutching onto the chain dangling from JoJo's collar as a way to nudge him into agreeing to your order.

"That's not happening, y/n just sit back down-" As if to mock him, the clouds let out a loud clap of thunder, The rain quickly picking up with the wind. As fast as this happened, you and Jotaro are now almost drenched in water. You cross your arms, looking up at Mcedgy with a smug expression on your face.

He sighs heavily, tugging the brim of his hat and letting out his famous

"Good grief..." before wrapping his jacket around you like a stolen package and trudging quickly. A few moments pass before he starts to run.

Surprisingly, your house isn't that far away anymore. You'd expect that from someone twice your height running. Currently, your friend is huffing, occasionally spitting excess water away from his mouth.

"We're here."

He stops running, just jogging his way around a building before setting you down on the floor, waiting until you regained balance to give you your crutches back. You hiss at how cold the air is, your body quickly shivering.

You quickly find your keys from your pocket before limping to your front door and opening it with a satisfying click, taking your single wet shoe off and stepping into your house, again, cringing because of how cold the floor has gotten. As you manage to trudge to pull a shawl you found hanging on a chair, you turn back to the door, facing Jotaro again.

"Thanks for walking me here JoJo. It was definitely a pain, I'm sorry," you apologize, a wide smile on your face, rubbing the back of your neck.

"It's fine," says Jojo, already lighting his third cigarette of the day and placing it between his lips.

There's a long silence between the two of you, the heavy sound of rain and occasional thunder being the only thing breaking it. Your breaths are heavy because of the weather, and you do nothing but stare at each other. It seems none of you want to turn away for some reason. both of you are worried for each other. It takes another while before any of you finally move, Jotaro shuffling off of the steps in front of your door and turning around with a small farewell.

You, knocked out of your trance, call out to him again, making him stop. Now in your garden, completely soaked, Jotaro turns his head to you. His cigarette is barely lit anymore.

"Umm...I just realized your house is too far away," you start, catching your friend's attention. He slowly walks back to you, shoving his hands in his pockets. He only hums in response.

"Uh...I just...don't want you walking all that way again, and further so why-"

"I'm not coming inside your house," Jotaro cuts you off, causing you to stutter and blink a couple of times. However, you've already made up your mind and there's no way you're turning back now.

"No, JoJo, you are, and I'm serious right now!," you protest, trying your best to sound strict as you walk to take a hold of Jotaro's arm with your free one and pulling him under the dry safety of your door. When he realized he stepped in with his shoes, he quickly retreats, pulling on his hat and looking away.

"JoJo...!"

Jeez, you're so naïve. Little do you know, Jotaro is only concerned about causing you any harm. He'd rather shrivel up and die from hypothermia than have you affected by him. But...refusing is never an option with you at this point. If anything, he doubts you won't end up following him until he's already at his own house, still trying to nag him further. He grunts, shaking his head then looking back to you.

"Jesus, fine."

Your face quickly lights up with a smile, and you drag Jotaro inside your house —with a limp—and make him take his jacket off. As much as he somewhat doesn't want to be here, Jotaro sighs in relief, shuddering at the warmth of your home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

{2901 words}

This is just something to start writing here. I'm not sure how to feel about it but I hope you like it lol, you can imagine what happens next. this seems very random and messy, which it is but I promise I'll come back with better content lmfao.

--Poppie

20 notes · View notes