#Ardisci

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Nothing Has To Change~ A Valentine's Day Scene

Happy late valentine's day! Tried to post this yesterday and it did not work.

From the world of Second Chance: Kaitlyn (Russell's sister!) is with the God of Knowledge, who is in hiding... and she might be in love with the god.

Second Chance Taglist (though this is a little... away from the canon story) (Ask to be +/-, but just fyi I'm not sure if this is an active WIP😅)

@puzzleddragon02

@blind-the-winds

POV: Kaitlyn “Look at the baskets!” Ardi squeals, rushing forward to a stand with baskets of candy, fake flowers, and small stuffed animals. They instantly engage into a conversation with the seller, I’m sure telling them the history of gift baskets on Valentine’s day. I would follow them, but I see that Buttercup has sat down, which makes Netalia hang back. Of course, there’s probably peanuts in the gift baskets. I know Netaila hates having to be left behind, so I hang back with her, flashing a smile to Ardi when they glance back at me. Ardi knows why we’re hanging back, says something to the seller, then takes a basket and returns to us. I’m sure Ardi already knows the peanut-status of the basket, but they hold it to Buttercup to sniff anyway. Safe, Buttercup wags her tail and circles back to Netalia. “They’re crocheted!” Ardi points at a small bear holding a heart. “And look, homemade white raspberry fudge— they make it all at home and…” Ardi goes on to give us small facts about the making of it, more than the creator likely had time to relay to Ardi. Not that Netalia notices. “So cute!” Netalia takes the little bear, rubbing her fingers against the side of its face before handing it back. We go to this farmer’s market almost every week— it’s indoors in the winter, outdoors in the summer— but since it’s the weekend before valentine’s day, it’s much more saturated with hearts— hearts and crafts, I think, which I’m sure is an unoriginal pun but I decide to say it anyway. “So much more hearts and crafts this week,” I say. Netalia gives me a very exaggerated eyeroll, but Ardi giggles. “Hearts and crafts!” they say. Even though they could likely tell me exactly how many times that pun has been made before. “Yeah, usually there’s only 3 or 4 craft booths, today it’s forty—“ Ardi adjusts, “forty percent, probably.” They were probably going to say the exact percentage, which makes me smile. “It’s a good present-buying occasion.”

“Not when you’re single,” Netalia says, handing the bear back. Ardi puts it in the basket again. Ardi bounds back to the table, and Netalia turns to me. “You should buy them something.” She’s got a sneaky grin on her face. That flusters me a little bit. I run my hand through mt hair, pushing my curls out of my face. “What… are you talking about…” I can’t help but smile— I’m not hiding it from Net. Netalia’s called me out on my maybe-crush before. “Come on.” Netalia grins, then turns to the closest table, a jewelry stand. The jeweler greets us with a warm smile. She pokes at the various stones on chains. “I thought you hated Valentine’s day,” I said. “I can root for you guys. You gotta make a move. Would Addie like earrings?” Netalia asks, using the fake name Ardi came up with for college. I smile in memory— in the first year, Ardi asked if they could borrow some earrings. When Ardi had manifested this form, it hadn’t had pierced ears, which I’d pointed out, leading to Ardi to grin. “Magic trick!” they’d said, tugging their earlobes and making holes appear. I was pretty sure they’d stayed since. “Maybe,” I said, looking at the options. But they all seemed too… elegant, glitzy. I wandered down the table. The necklaces were more understated, but still, it didn’t seem right. “They don’t have a watch, right?” Netalia suggested. I shook my head. Ardi knew the time on their own.

“I don’t know if I should,” I said. “Why not?” Netalia asked. But Ardi had returned, suddenly behind me. I was suddenly afraid they had heard me, and could only hope they hadn’t heard enough that they would wonder what we were talking about, thus instantly knowing. Ardi didn’t comment on it or make any expression, but that wasn’t necessarily an indication. They leaned over my shoulder, pointing at a bracelet with a stone with a blue rim and a blue dot in the center. “So many cultures believed that people could curse others by giving them an ‘evil eye.’” They informed us. “And some think only certain people can bestow the curse. And for some it’s only blue-eyes people who can. This jewelry’s supposed to reflect it off them, but that’s why it’s usually blue.” The jeweler has come closer as Ardi spoke, her face lighting up at the history. “The blue-eyed thing is from the Mediterranean,” she said. “Light eyes are rarer there.” “Yep, especially Turkey!” Ardi adds excitedly. The two of them start a conversation about the history of evil eyes. I watch and listen and Netalia comes up next to me. “So, think evil eye is a good one?” she asks quietly, picking up the bracelet. I shake my head. Just because they’ve started an info-dump on it doesn’t mean it’s the best present. “It’s too loaded,” I say, staring at the chains of necklaces again, watching them glitter. “An evil eye?” Netalia chuckles. “Okay, I see your point.” “No… to give anything. On Valentine’s day.” “Nah, friends give Valentines gifts all the time. Just steer away from hearts if you don’t want to be suggestive.” Netalia grins. “Or do!”

I spot a lotus flower necklace. Not too fancy, simple and cute. And Ardi loves symbolism— they know all of the associations, and are fascinated, saying that it’s such a purely human thing to make those connections. I don’t remember what the lotus symbolizes off the top of my head— all I remember is that I know Ardi said it once, and I remember thinking it was very them. But what I can’t tell Netalia is tht it’s not just shyness or fear of it being unrequited. Ardi’s not a person, as much as they seem to be, as much as they try to be. I so often see Ardi as who their disguise is… as human. Not as the god of knowledge. You can’t just… fall in love with a god. Have a relationship with one. And even if Ardi denies it, they are a god, they will one day have to return and I know that. And they know that, they have to. My parents, my friends from before… they all didn’t understand my relationship with Ardi. Said that I couldn’t think myself as equal to a god, couldn’t question them or expect them to meet me halfway or even be special to them. Gods belonged to all. Some people had a more direct connection, where there to help carry out their duties, that’s all I was to Ardi, that’s what they said. But when I look at Ardi, I don’t see a god. Even when I can tell that they’re brimming with facts, that it’s all they can help not to let the collective knowledge come pouring out, faster than human speech can be. Don’t mistake your loyalty to your god for a partnership, Mom had said. And I always had to push back against that… trust Ardi, that we were partners. Given that, why even try to start a romantic relationship? In a way, it already felt like we had a deeper… but different, partnership. We were definitely connected already, in a strong way.

A romantic relationship almost seemed… Cheaper, less strong, less deep. But I couldn’t deny wanting it. I couldn’t deny wanting more, wanting the things that seemed almost too human for a god, like holding hands and kisses and dates and soft hugs and yes, possibly sex— like, how could I even consider asking for that from a god? A god who had trusted me to be the only person to know where and who they were? A god I’d already given up so much for and knew that I would never feel like they owed me— because wasn’t that inherently the power imbalance of a god and their servant? If I truely saw us as equal, why was I willing to be the only one to sacrifice things? I was already special, already Their Person in a way. But also… Would Ardi want a relationship? Yes— but that was the problem. A relationship was one of those unique-to-humans experiences that I’m sure Ardi would want to try. Which is… not what I wanted. I knew too much. I couldn’t trust that this wasn’t just them trying out an experience. To try out love and romance and relationships. Not that I thought Ardi’s expereinces were unreal, but I didn’t want them to agree simply because they wanted to try the activity or experience. More than that, even if I could stand that… I knew that they had to return. That a day would come where they were no longer any level of human… back to being Ardisci, God of Knowledge. And no matter what, when they did, I still wanted to be right by their side. In our current relationship nothing would change. But if we were a couple, and they decided to return? They would have to give me up, give up the romance things, the relationship, no matter how real those feelings turned out. I fully expect Ardi to know about my feelings. Not that they know inner feelings, but if they’ve learned anything on how to read that kind of thing, and I haven’t exactly denied it in conversations with Netalia.

Ardi’s finished the conversations about evil eyes, and Netalia suggests they go over to a booth of soaps and candles. Netalia winks at me as they leave, Ardi too distracted to notice that I linger. It doesn’t matter what I want. As much as I see us as equals, I still am their loyal servant, committed to their will. So I’m not going to say anything. But I can still get them a present. I buy the lotus necklace and slip it into my pocket. They may already know I bought it. They may know why. But I can give them the necklace without it meaning anything and keep not saying it, and things will stay how they are.

--

I have another scene from Ardi's POV here if you want more of these characters

[divepelagos]

Installazione nuovi giochi al Parco La Fornace #sissatrecasali #ardisci #lafornace #green #comunità #volontariato #associazione #canon https://www.instagram.com/p/CFZtiM4F7QU/?igshid=1qdcyxpuo96k3

[samartworksblog]

~ Athena Pallas vs Ares

(You can guess who wins✨)

Un macigno afferrò, che negro e grande (525)

Giacea nel campo dalle prische genti

Posto a confine di poder. Con questo

Colpì l’impetuoso iddio nel collo,

E gli sciolse le membra. Ei cadde, e steso

Ingombrò sette jugeri; le chiome(530)

Insozzârsi di polve, e orrendamente

L’armi sul corpo gli tonâr. Sorrise

Pallade, e altera l’insultò: 'Demente!

Che meco ardisci gareggiar, non vedi

Quant’io t’avanzo di valor? Va, sconta (535)

Di tua madre le furie, e dal suo sdegno

Maggior castigo, dell’aver tradito

Pe’ Teucri infidi i giusti Achei, t’aspetta.'

Così detto, le lucide pupille

Volse altrove. Frattanto al Dio prostrato (540)

Venere accorse, per la mano il prese,

E lui che grave sospira, e a fatica

Rïaver può gli spirti, altrove adduce.

L’alma Giuno li vide, ed a Minerva,

'Guarda', disse, 'di Giove invitta figlia,(545)

Guarda quella impudente: ella di nuovo

Fuor dell’aspro conflitto via ne mena

Quell’omicida. Ah vola, e su lor piomba'.

Volò Minerva, e gl’inseguì. Di gioia

Il cor balzava, e fattasi lor sopra,(550)

Colla terribil mano a Citerea

Tal diè un tocco nel petto che la stese:

Giaceano entrambi riversati, e altera

Su lor Minerva glorïossi, e disse:

'Fosser tutti così questi di Troia (555)

Proteggitori a disfidar venuti

I loricati Achei! Fossero tutti

Di fermezza e d’ardir pari a Ciprigna

Di Marte aiutatrice e mia rivale.

E noi, distrutte d’Ilïon le torri,(560)

Già poste l’armi da gran tempo avremmo'.

Udì la Diva dalle bianche braccia

Il motteggio, e sorrise.

(Iliad, XXI)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isn't a secret that if I could, these two for me would be the prototype of the perfect war-couple (sorry Aphrodite, but bye) in terms of attraction / contrast. One is total violence and chaos, the other is strategic and *coff * let's say controlled.

I have always loved mythology, but I only started to delve into it during my university studies. There are a thousand facets to these deities, some at times seem human, others less so (Apollo is often referred to as "the most Greek of the Greek gods" and is quite unfriendly), and sometimes it is nice to pay them some attention.

My Instagram CLICK HERE✨

[magicmoon65]

Pass the happy! 🌌✨ When you receive this, list 5 things that you love/are proud of in your wip and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

I'm at a weird place of WIPs since i have one i haven't worked on in a while, one i have a complete draft of, and one ive writen one scene for. I'm going to do the drafted one though.

1. The character development is well done and I know this. His personality is as clear to me as any character could be and I can follow his journey completely.

2. One of the characters, Ardisci, I absolutely love. I'm really glad to have created them and I'm planning on following them in a future book

3. I like that I found a way around action for the climax. I always prefer writing clever scenes of outsmarting to fight scenes, and I think it worked better.

4. A concept that happens, time bubbles, is really interesting. Basically time freezes in a localized spot, and people affected by it just feel like time went faster than expected

5. This isn't really something I notice but apparently i have a strong voice

However, i dont think it makes sense to send this to people in my notifs since not everyone's going to be a writer. But I'll pass it on

[coquelicotmafille]

OPEN STUDIO studio temporaneo : restitution publique venerdi 26, sabato 27, domenica 28 febbraio 2021 via Vetere 12, Milano 20123, dalle 11 alle 18 Il lavoro e le opere di Coquelicot Mafille si possono ben presentare attraverso un concetto e una pratica deleuziana: il nomadismo e la vita nomade. Deleuze, filosofo vissuto nel secolo scorso, e parigino come l’artista, contrapponeva la vita nomade alla codificazione come attività da sempre usata dai poteri politici sovranisti, statali e nazionalisti per incasellare le vite individuali, e ben identificate. I nomadi, per Deleuze, son quelli che vengono da fuori, che si muovono alla periferia del potere, sottraendosi all’identificazione. Le opere di Coquelicot Mafille sono nomadi esattamente in questo senso: cuce insieme culture attraverso i colori, descrive con i tessuti gli spessori dei loro inni, intreccia corpi con i fili di cotone, costruisce nuovi linguaggi giocando su diverse grammatiche e sintassi, sovrappone tratti, che diventano segni, accennando pensieri poetici. Sono sinestesie le sue opere. Sono esplosioni temporali dei luoghi del mondo.

Il verso di Coquelicot Mafille non è solo poetico, è anche una direzione. Viaggiare, ancora: quella la sola àncora. Il nomade viaggia anche stando fermo, non deve necessariamente muoversi, il nomade può restare sul posto andando a velocità assolute. Sia che lavori sulla carta, con il legno, sia che faccia un ricamo, che stia lavorando su un muro, se non addirittura su un vetro o che stia dipingendo su un tessuto, ogni volta che si relaziona con qualcosa lo scenario cambia, l’incontro con quell’altro corpo muta, la muta e, poco a poco, viene fuori un ulteriore mondo. È il desiderio di dialogo tra le parti che muove Coquelicot Mafille - a tratti, attratti. Se le si chiedesse di dove sia, risponderebbe come Diogene il Cinico, ossia: cosmopolita - pure lei nega l’importanza delle divisioni attuate da certi poteri, ricerca, piuttosto, gli accostamenti, le aderenze, i contatti di certe potenze umane, non troppo umane. Le sue combinazioni di rapporti, di colori, di ritmi, di parole esprimono un’estetica politica intesa come studio dei comportamenti intersoggettivi attraverso i tratti o i ricami e come teoria delle relazioni tra coesistenze, a seconda dell’uso dei colori. Quantum potes, tantum aude (quanto puoi, tanto ardisci). E lei lo fa, quanto può, con tutta sé stessa.

Ho conosciuto poche persone così attaccate alla vita, in maniera così gioiosa, fiera e con questa severa necessità di un costante e crescente atto di creazione. Deleuze si domanda che cosa sia, non a caso, l’atto di creazione e, rispetto all’opera d’arte, risponde che è un atto di resistenza alla morte. Questo è, e aggiunge che non c’è opera d’arte che non faccia appello a un popolo che non c’è ancora. Se c’è una cosa che credo faccia Coquelicot Mafille è darci l’opportunità a noi, attraverso di lei e le sue opere, di iniziare a sbirciare su quei popoli che non ci sono ancora, o forse su un’umanità che, è bene auspicarsi, possa mostrarsi a noi presto - ma che lei già conosce. Il suo è un nomadismo poetico - e si sa: i poeti, in fondo, sono i più arrischianti.

Giorgia Visentin

https://hestetika.art/coquelicot-mafille-open-studio-studio-temporaneo-restitution-publique/

[chocolatesuitcasefestivalcop]

🔹La tua fede ti ha guarita🔹 🔸la fede dà la vita all’anima🔸 Gesù mi ha detto queste precise parole: “La fede è Dio”. Ma queste due parole contenevano una luce immensa, che è impossibile spiegarlo; ma come posso, lo dirò. Nella parola fede comprendevo che la fede è Dio stesso. Come al corpo il cibo materiale dà vita acciocché non muoia, così la fede dà la vita all’anima; senza la fede l’anima è morta. La fede vivifica, la fede santifica, la fede spiritualizza l’uomo e gli fa tenere l’occhio all’Ente Supremo, in modo che niente apprende delle cose di quaggiù, e se le apprende, le apprende in Dio. Oh, la felicità di un’anima che vive di fede! Il suo volo è sempre verso il cielo; in tutto ciò che le succede si rimira sempre in Dio, ed ecco come: nella tribolazione, la fede la solleva in Dio, e non se ne affligge, neanche mena lamento, sapendo che non deve formare qui il suo contento, ma nel cielo. Così, se la gioia, la ricchezza, i piaceri, la circondano, la fede la solleva in Dio e le fa dire fra sé: “Oh, quanto sarò più contenta, più ricca nel cielo!”. Quindi, di questi beni terreni ne prende fastidio, li disprezza, se li mette sotto i piedi. A me sembra che ad un’anima che vive di fede, succede come ad una persona che possedesse milioni e milioni di monete, ed anche regni interi, ed un’altra che vorrebbe[2] offrirle un centesimo. Or, che direbbe costei? Non l’avrebbe a sdegno, non glielo getterebbe in faccia? Aggiungo: e se quel centesimo fosse tutto infangato, qual sono le cose terrene? Di più: e se quel centesimo fosse dato solo in prestito? Or, direbbe costei: “Immense ricchezze io godo e posseggo, e tu ardisci d’offrirmi questo vil centesimo, così fangoso e solo per poco tempo?”. Io credo che ritorcerebbe subito lo sguardo, e non accetterebbe il dono. Così fa l’anima che vive di fede riguardo alle cose terrene. Ora, andiamo un’altra volta all’idea del cibo; il corpo, prendendo il cibo, non solo si sostiene, ma partecipa della sostanza del cibo che si trasforma collo[3] stesso corpo. Ora, così l’anima che vive di fede; siccome la fede è Dio stesso, l’anima viene a vivere dello stesso Dio, e cibandosi... #DivinaVolontà #LuisaPiccarreta #FiatVoluntasTua https://www.instagram.com/p/CCSjZUmjdJj/?igshid=1dn0fq5wxa2ci

[isim78]

Ardisci e spera persevera e vinci... #isim #iosonoilmare #tags #tagstsgram #tagsfortags #tagstagram #tagsme #likeforlikes #likeforfollow #like4likes #likelike #likeforlike #like4like #liketime #likeme #insta #instagram #instagood #instagood #instame 🌊🌊🌊... https://www.instagram.com/p/BtdOkBUHx8Y/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qfbk6lewl9xr

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Looking for excerpts?

Purple=My Favorites

Main WIP: Syndicate

Terran is an assassin in Calson City, where a criminal syndicate controls the city. Raymond was working with them until he rebelled and saved someone they were going to kill, and Terran was supposed to execute him but faked Raymond’s death instead. Terran’s learning morality, realizing that he doesn’t want to be in this situation anymore, learning right and wrong, but simultaneously trying to hide what he’s done to avoid getting killed as a traitor himself. Conflict is mainly whether he learns real compassion and freedom from the syndicate, or if he resists this in favor of keeping up his cover. Mika is Raymond’s twin sister who doesn’t know he’s alive and had to take Raymond’s place as an assassin and hates it. There’s also magic and gay. Raymond has mind magic, and Terran can do various enhancement-type spells including making himself focus.

This story gets dark and I've included trigger warnings. The flufftober section should be much safer to read in general. But the story has a lot of trauma and fire-related discussions, so if either of those is a major trigger for you, no worries-- this isn't for you. "Abuse" indicates references to actual abuse, "trauma" may refer to depictions of PTSD

Insterested in more? Read more about this WIP here Add to my taglist

Scenes:

Terran & Raymond “Breakup” TW: killing/death ment

Poker Flashback TW: fire, abuse, trauma

Mika & Terran’s truce TW: killing ment

Card & Falling Asleep (Raymond’s POV) TW: ment of fire, abuse, death

2 Truths & a Lie  

Martel Bridge

Homework Flashback

Zachary being threatening TW: Manipulation, implied arson, killing, death

Rock Climbing Flashback  TW: mention of killing, death

Raymond and Terran discuss trauma TW: Discussion of trauma, abuse, fire

Scenes that 1. End a story/chapter/arc; 2. Is important to a character’s development, & 3. A sad/tragic scene TW: 1. fire ment, unconsensual mind magic(?) 2. Kidnapping ment 3. Fire, anxiety/panic attack. (Note: All 3 scenes here are on the longer side)

Scene that contains cool worldbuilding TW: death ment, unconsensual mind magic (Discussion of)

Peaceful scene

Descriptive text & favorite dialogue TW: Trauma--Not explicitly anything major but there is a depiction of a trigger in scene 2

Embrassed/flustered & put a lot of work into: TW death/killing ment (Note: Scene 2 is the same as 2 truths and a lie above, though I think it's shorter)

1 character protects or cares for another TW: Fire & burns

Action/combat & character introduction TW: 1. Suffocation, killing ment. 2. [not sure, nothing explicit]

Terran & Raymond kiss TW: killing mention

Flufftober scenes

Candles, Lanterns, & Fairy Lights TW: fire (candles), discussion of trauma

Picnic

Blankets

Caught in the Rain

Bedtime Stories TW: literally the tamest tw for burns

Hot Chocolate TW: Fire (fireplace), trauma

Soulmate AU Warning: Not really fluff

Poetry, Music, Art, & Craft TW: Trauma

“Oh, you’re a morning person” TW: killing ment

Supporting Each Other’s Quirks and Hobbies

Thick as Thieves

Slow Dancing

Game Day TW: minor death ment

Shooting Stars

Other WIPs

This month I plan on working on a different WIP, Second Chance. If I post any excerpts I will add them!

Ardisci: A scene from the POV of the god of knowledge in the universe of Second Chance, not official content. TW: Death mention

Drake Knight: a intro scene for a story about dragons. TW: implied dragon death, fire (like y'know. dragon breath)

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

TGIF (trans gender it's friday)! do you have any trans/nonbinary/gender-nonconforming characters? what are their role(s) in the story?

Hell yeah!

Raymond’s trans, he transitioned socially fairly young (young enough that Terran never knew him as anything but Raymond), and I've so far shown it in him mentioning his ears being pierced and taking their-world equivalent of HRT. I have a page in my notebook from when I was first thinking of if him being trans made sense and it did! Raymond is... god what's his role, it's so much... catalyst, source of moral conflict, love interest, best freind, source of greif, champion of good.

Syndicate doesn't have any enbies so far-- well, Jodi's rommate is nonbinary but they aren't even a character. However, I have a lot of enbies in Second Chance-- I seem to love she/theys and he/theys in there.

First if all, gods in general are genderless, but Ardisci, god of knowledge who's begun to feel more human than god found themselves to be leaning towards nonbinary-girl. Nit positive what Ardi's role in this version would be yet, but they get used by an MC at one point but provide valuable information and insights at others. Ava, the MC's crush, I'm thinking will discover themselves to be a demigirl/similar too, Ava is not just a love interest but provides Chrys safety and stability. Korin I spontaneously decided was he/they, he's a researcher for the sort-antagonsits and reflects a lot of Russell’s characteristics, and help at a key point in Russell’s arc. And a freind of Russell, Halyn, goes by ze/zem, Halyn provides Russell safety when he has no one else but also pushes him.

In Immortal Souls, Logan is bigender (they/them), and a family freind of Maera, Cassia, is a trans woman. Logan is a main character, one of 3 people the story follows, and Cassia gave a younger Logan the courage to be gnc.

A few other random stories also have some trans/nb characters... some I'm not as sure about though.

Thanks for asking!

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Excerpt/Sketch Scene: Ardisci

I shared lines from this recently but in looking it over I remembered how much I love it so I decided to share. From Ardisci’s POV, Ardisci is the god of knowledge and is living sort of in-hiding on Earth.

---

Alright. So we’re here: Kaitlyn is lying on the couch, reading chapter 3 of her textbook on cultural anthropology. Netalia is lying on the floor, her book— a thick book with thin pages that’s a survey English literature— open above her. It’s open to Lines Written in Early Spring by William Wordsworth, but I’m not sure if she’s reading it— Buttercup, her golden retriever, is licking her face, and she’s laughing and pushing her away. I’m taking notes in my notebook. My reading, Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, is open as a pdf on my laptop, though that’s mostly for show, since Netalia is here. My notebook, which Kaitlyn insists is technically a journal (but it’s not my place to say it is or isn’t— language and labels aren’t my responsibility to determine), lies in front of me, and I’m scribbling in it with a recycled water bottle pen that I got at freshman orientation that Netalia always marvels that I haven’t lost and Kait and I then share a knowing look about. If Kait (and the collective’s) definition of “journal” is a place for writing out one’s own thoughts, rather than simply noting facts for studying purposes, then yes, it is a journal. I don’t have much need for notetaking— even without the constant stream of direct-and-all-encompassing knowledge, simple information—what’s part of the collective knowledge—is provided to me automatically. But that’s why I love philosophy classes. In the science class I took I did find it interesting what aspects they taught or what they knew, but still, so much of it was known information, simply a method by which to integrate that knowledge. It didn’t excite me the same way. But philosophy? No answer came to me automatically. I know how others have answered the question before, yes, but there’s no collective answer, and I can listen to classmate’s opinions and thoughts and I actually feel like I’m learning.

Focusing. I’m journaling on the allegory of the cave. I won’t be able to bring what I write up in class, but thoughts—my thoughts, my own!—are coming tumbling out. Because I know the outside world, the sun, all of it, I am the regular people in this metaphor when everyone around me are the prisoners who know only shadows and can but squint at the sun. Because not knowing and a limited perspective isn't something I was ever able to to really have. Because not that long ago I didn’t even have an “I” through which to narrate. Google doesn't have an “I” and never has a choice in knowing that these are shadows, not the extent of human existence, but maybe I could know only that. And who would feel jealousy of prisoners chained up in a cave with only a fire casting shadows to quantify as real— and since when has jealousy been a thing I feel?

Kaitlyn had been the one to suggest I write, to journal. She’d given me a look that she told me later was frustration (which I don’t feel bad about not recognizing— psychologically speaking, most people don’t recognize the facial expression “frustrated” as they do “happy” or “sad”—it’s not a basic emotion) and said in a very calm voice that as much as she loved listening to my rants, not everyone had the collective knowledge at their disposal—she actually had to study. And she later suggested writing out my thoughts, telling me that writing could be helpful in self-discovery, which got a green-light from the collective knowledge, so I agreed to try it. 

Netalia pushes Buttercup’s nose away. “Buttercup, go-lie-down. I gotta read this.” Buttercup harumphs and trots over to me, pushing her nose into the space between my arm and my waist. That’s something I never got to appreciate—the simple joy of an animal burrowing into you. Of loving you. I suspect that’s something few gods get to experience—at least, outside of the Nature domain. And to have that physical form in which an animal can burrow into.

I can’t write with Buttercup there, so I finish the sentence, put my pen down, and turn to Buttercup, taking her face in my hands and scratching behind her ears. Buttercup starts panting, her tail wagging loud enough to slam against the carpet.

“Did the good doggie get snubbed?” I coo to Buttercup. It’s lucky humans developed a way to communicate thoughts, or I may never have had access to even the concept of thoughts and emotions, just behavior and knowledge of consciousness. At least a person can tell me what they’re thinking and feeling, even if it’s not always true— or all I’d have is what I can tell about animals, what their behaviors indicate. 

“It was not a snub,” Netalia said. “I have to read this.”

I quiet, just smiling at Buttercup and scratching behind her ears. Kaitlyn’s looking at me. I know what face she’s making without looking up, but I look up anyway because sometimes using the human eyes helps me interpret it better. There’s a slight smile. I think it’s in reference to “Some of us need to actually read the assignment.” Just because that’s usually what Kaitlyn likes to tease me about. 

Kaitlyn closes her textbook and sets it down on the table. “Talia, can we take Buttercup outside and play with her a bit? I think Addie’s getting antsy.”

Addie’s not really my name—my god name is Ardisci, and before going into hiding, Kaitlyn called me Ardi, which I love—never had I been close enough with someone for them to need a shortened way to refer to me. It felt affectionate. But going into hiding I needed a name-name, something not quite my god name. Kaitlyn had actually said that Adelaide felt too close to Ardisci to her, but once I’d picked it it had felt comfortable and I couldn’t pick another one, so we went with it. Plus, “Addie” and “Ardi” sounded similar, which made the transition easier. 

“Sure,” Netalia sits up, folding the book over her finger for a moment. “Her toys are in the basket next to the porch.” She stood and sat down on the couch Kait had been lying on.

I stood, giving Buttercup a tug towards the door. Buttercup lept, realizing what we were doing, and ran to the door, barking when it didn’t open for her.

“Hold on, girl.” Kaitlyn followed us over to the front entrance and grabbed her jacket off the hook, then handed me mine. Now out of earshot from Netalia, she said to me, “The rest of us need to actually read the assignment.”

“I know,” I said. My jacket was thick, zippered, and knit, with cables curling up the sleeves. I wanted to try knitting sometime, to see if it was as easy as the information of “how to purl” came into my mind. Kaitlyn had said she’d knit when she was younger, had described how she’d learned to spot the difference between a knit stitch and a purl stitch and how to make a cable or bauble. When I look at it I know, but I have a feeling that that knowledge is different from recognizing it.

Kaitlyn takes a moment to adjust the collar of my jacket, which wasn’t folded properly. “I know you know,” she smiles—me saying “I know” is ironic, she’s said, just as anyone saying “do you know?” is to me. But “know” doesn’t, in my case, always mean knowing, it means understanding, and that (I know) is a different thing. 

Buttercup bolts out the door as soon as I turn the handle to leave—it’s into Netalia’s family’s backyard, where Buttercup has previously been allowed to roam freely, so I’m not concerned—and Kaitlyn shouts to Netalia’s mom that we’re taking Buttercup out. Her mom, Lynette, tells us alright, and that she’s heating up some hot apple cider for us. Lynette was horrified my first year living as a human that I’d never had hot apple cider, and had filled me up on it ever since. I’d told Kaitlyn how I knew what apple was used, the origins of the drink, different versions, what was considered the best mixture. 

“Alright,” Kaitlyn had said. “But the drink you’re drinking right now. Do you like it?”

I’d been confused at first. I’d taken another sip— not really familiar with the concept of myself liking things. I knew it was generally accepted as good, but then I really absorbed the flavor, the heat, the spice, the sweetness. “Yes,” I’d said finally. “I like it.”

I bound outside, running to the basket under the porch and grabbing a frisbee. “Wanna catch?” I ask Buttercup. Buttercup jumps side to side, ready. I swing my arm, try to snap my wrist, and let go. Buttercup runs after it, but the frisbee curves, making about a 60° angle away from where I thought I’d aimed. I laugh, and Buttercup, who started running straight, looks around in confusion.

“I gotta get better at that!” I shout to Kait, and run over to where the frisbee landed. Running is nice, a feeling I’ve gotten used to. The exertion, adrenaline, my lungs pulling in air, my heart beating, lactic acid starting to flow through my muscles (which’ll make them sore later). One of the things I can’t know, I have to feel. I get to feel. I scoop up the frisbee and toss it again. This time Buttercup knows to watch it, and runs after the very curved path it follows. I run back over to Kait, meeting Buttercup halfway as she trots back with it. Kait takes the frisbee.

“Here,” she holds it out, but instead of letting me take it, guides my hand to hold it. She takes me through the motion of throwing it, of the flick of the wrist. “And here you let go. Eyes on your target.” she says. 

I know how to on an instructional level, but when Kait releases my hand for me to try, this time I pay attention not to the collective knowledge, but her instruction. I follow through, and this time it goes straighter, only curving a bit at the end. Buttercup races after it, then picks it up from the ground.

“Better,” Kait observes. She’s staring at Buttercup at first, but her eyes don’t follow the return, so she seems to have spaced on the trees. “Russell never quite figured out how to throw one,” she said.

I take the frisbee from Buttercup, spinning it in my hand for a moment. I don't look at her, knowing she won’t notice me averting my eyes.

I still haven't told her. I should tell her. It’s my obligation really, to our friendship and to my role as god. But really, just because I am the god of knowledge, did that mean I have to tell her? I’m trying to escape that role.

She’ll find out eventually. And maybe I can say I just hadn’t thought of it— I’d been shutting down the constant stream of information, and one person's death isn’t collective knowledge. If I hadn’t wondered, I still wouldn’t know, not actively.

But I do know actively. I’d checked in and realized. And decided not to tell her.

Her brother had died two years ago. That’s why he’d never found her, never shown up. I hadn’t known him, not really, but I knew him somewhat through Kait, though her memories and relationship. 

Maybe it’s a bit selfish, too. I don’t know how she’d react, but I have a feeling (that was new too, having a feeling) that knowing might change things. It might lead her back to her family, and yes perhaps I can stay in hiding without her, but I don’t want to.

A part of me has always longed to do this. Live as a person, learn, experience. Not be the source of all knowledge for once. And part of why I finally had was the pressure had gotten worse—but really, a large part of it was meeting Kaitlyn. Kait, who never used me, who never asked questions I wouldn’t know if I wasn’t god of knowledge. Who actually got to know who I was, with enough patience to handle me. Who’d believed I even got the chance to be an I.

I throw the frisbee again. It arcs a bit, but Buttercup jumps up and catches it midair. “Whoo!” Kait cheers. 

I bend down, clapping and then petting Buttercup. “Good job!” I tell her.

“Good job to you,” Kait says, tousling my hair the same way I’m tousling Buttercup’s ears. I grin.

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Find the Word Tag

Tagged by @sleepy-night-child thanks!

For this I'm taking snippets from a scene I wrote that takes place in the world that I'm reworking atm. The characters here, Ardi and Kaitlyn, are not in Second Chance (at least not yet), which is what I'll be doing for Nano, but they are characters later in the series.

Look

Kaitlyn had been the one to suggest I write, to journal. She’d given me a look that she told me later was frustration (which I don’t feel bad about not recognizing— psychologically speaking, most people don’t recognize the facial expression “frustrated” as they do “happy” or “sad”—it’s not a basic emotion) and said in a very calm voice that as much as she loved listening to my rants, not everyone had the collective knowledge at their disposal—she actually had to study. And she later suggested writing out my thoughts, telling me that writing could be helpful in self-discovery, which got a green-light from the collective knowledge, so I agreed to try it. 

Under

I bound outside, running to the basket under the porch and grabbing a frisbee. “Wanna catch?” I ask Buttercup. Buttercup jumps side to side, ready. I swing my arm, try to snap my wrist, and let go. Buttercup runs after it, but the frisbee curves, making about a 60° angle away from where I thought I’d aimed. I laugh, and Buttercup, who started running straight, looks around in confusion.

Your

“Ardi.” She spoke aloud. “Ardi, get out of there. Get away from him. I don’t care what he’s said. You wanted to hide from the gods, don’t let him pull you back in. You were good, I’ve been loving seeing how you’ve grown as a person. No, I’m not talking to him, not letting him worm his way into my sympathies like he did yours. Don’t let him. Find me, we’ll find a new hiding place, one no one will find us in. Everything was good. You can take more classes, Ardi, we can keep going until we take every class they offer, I don’t care.” Kait felt her eyes well up and wiped it with the back of her hand. “Don’t leave me like this. I don’t care if my world revolves around you— even if it means saying goodbye to him forever, I don’t care. Maybe I should’ve in the first place. It’s better for you and it’s better for me. Get out of there and come back, or tell me where you are. Please.”

Bed

Ardi didn’t get back all that night and wasn’t when Kait woke up. When Kait woke to find the room otherwise empty and the bed unslept in, she allowed the worry to return in full force.

Kait: Ardi. Tell me what’s going on.

And then, because she couldn’t help it,

Kait: Are you with Russell?

She went through Ardi’s social media again, but nothing had happened on any of it— it was like Ardi had disappeared from the online world. Had they from the physical?

Tagging (no pressure!) @drippingmoon @deciphered-narrator & @thegreatobsesso with the words: write, swing, leave, worry

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Find the Word

I was tagged by @loopyhoopywrites thank you!

Air

“People don’t OD on cigarettes,” I pointed out. “They would’ve known it was Gaian influence.” Jasmine’s specialty was manipulating gases, using air-borne toxins as her weapon of choice. -syndicate

Zone

Russell looks confused, but his eyes zone out a little, and he must be talking to it. A moment later, he says, “It says we can try.” He holds out a hand to me. -Off Base

Tip

Truth was, we weren’t that different. As soon as he’d walked in I’d wanted a way out, I’d been compromised. I’d gotten the aversion to guns as a method from Zachary himself, it was a solid excuse. But what was the story then? That I’d tipped him off myself? -syndicate

Hope

Despite how apart they’d grown, Mika looked a lot like her brother. Her hair, though longer, had the same shine to it. Their skin was practically the same shade— a light, warm brown. They had the same round face and the same deep brown eyes— though Mika’s were so often full of anger. Raymond’s were full of hope, despite everything. -syndicate

Law

She nodded, giving a small smile. “Time stops make it very hard to maneuver. The laws of physics get messed up, it’s impossible to do anything. So we slow it it down to—” She looked at her Nexus. “Once second real time passed every two million of our seconds pass, which means you’d have to be gone for about three and a half hours for someone’s eye to even process you were gone.” -Second Chance

For someone who writes about crime a decent amount the word "law" was super hard to find.

I'll tag @raevenlywrites @stardustandsun @kessler-writes and anyone else who wants to (&lmk if you want me to tag you in tag games)

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Want actually tagged by @stardustandsun but decided to do it anyway

Rules: Choose a WIP you’re working on (can be a large project, a standalone short story, or anything else!) and answer for the questions below. Tag others so you can see their projects too.

Title: Second Chance (and its sequel, Crossed Lines)

Logline (1-3 sentence premise): Carson has lived every day twice for as long as he can remember. One day time stops and he's unaffected, and this leads to him discovering a world of gods and their servants, searching for a Spirit that was stolen from the God of Time.

The premise for Crossed Lines is a spoiler, but it's about Russell learning that his life doesn't have to be in service to a god.

Favorite theme explored: indepencence and what it means to serve others. This is the main theme of book 2, and I plan on exploring the inverse in book 3. Russell struggles a lot with what independence really means.

A character I'm proud of and why: Russell. He's working on getting better and learned a lot about himself.

That character's tag (if there is one): Apparently i don't have a tag for him, even though i thought i did.

Link to a Piece/Excerpt/Post I’m proud of: I'm pretty sure I don't have any excerpts, though I kinda want to, so I'm going to put a very brief excerpt at the bottom here (can't figure out how to add a read more link on mobile)

Any additional info I want others to know/am proud of: I talked mostly about Russell and therefore the second book, but I am really proud of book 1. Even though there's some problems with it, I do have really good characters. Carson struggles with apathy, or rather thinking he is apathetic before things start to matter more. I'm also really excited to write the next one, which will be from the perspective of the god of knowledge.

I don't know who to tag but if you want to do this tag me, I need to make some sort of list of ppl I could tag in these things.

This is a sample. I'm really proud of the Spirit of time itself, which is somewhat of an entity, so here's its introduction:

It wasn’t completely solid, maybe the thickness of tapioca, but it was solid enough to hold and wrap my hand around, and as soon as I did I knew I had it. The energy that had been around me flowed through me, in through my hand and around my body and into my mind. I felt invincible. Time flowed through me. I could do anything. I was everything.

I really understood how the Spirit had its own personality, but it was more than that. It had its own mind, its own thoughts, its own intelligence. I felt it, my own heightened, felt it existing alongside me in my mind, felt whole and complete.

It spoke to me, in a way that was above verbal or even through language. It was a feeling, and impression. It trusted me. It felt friendly and curious, seeming to say <i> Hello, who’s this? </i>

It understood my response before my thoughts was fully formed, simply because it was reading my thoughts. It didn’t feel invasive, it felt right. 

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Shared Traits Tag

Using an open tag from @vellichor-virgo to do this becuase it looks fun!

So I like to recommend that, when creating characters, to make characters different form yourself. I've found that I learn more about myself and understand the better when I'm not just thinking about what I would do. But that doesn't mean i don't share traits with them-- more that I discover things about myself through them, and open myself up to different versions of me and how I'm similar to others or different. That said:

Terran: Terran shares one of my flaws, and that's being controlling. I've been able to recognize that urge in myself and not act on it, to hold back and respect others' decisions. Terran does not, at least not with Raymond, though he'll learn it like I did, just in more extreme circumstances. Terran also, like me, likes puzzles and figuring out solutions. I do base his inner emotions and frustrations on how I would feel in a given circumstance, too. Terran also has aphantasia which I also have

Raymond: Raymond is surprisingly a lot like me. We both love psychology and are nerdy about what we're interested in, and both aggressively care about others we're close to. Raymond is much more often what I would actually do in a situation, and often takes on the same role I do, specifically in being the one helping others out emotionally. He's good at school like I am, too.

Mika: I don't know how much I've shown of this, but Mika is protective as well as can be a fighter and petty to those that do her or people she cares about wrong. That is definitely me. In fact, Mika may be the most "me" out of any of the characters.

(Now for some characters I don't talk as much about)

Chrys: Chrys of Second Chance is mostly very different from me, but I created the character when I was more depressed than I am now and Chrys' arc has to do with apathy, and I think at the time that was something I was dealing with.

Russell: Russell is very different form me, I don't think of myself as someone who's manipulated easily and he is. But I do tend to believe people and I'm not that skeptical so maybe I am a little. However, Russell is also stubborn as hell (which to be fair, most of my characters are, but he I most think of as stubborn as a trait), and I definitely can be very stubborn.

Ardisci: Loving learning, loving knowing things and thinking about things, my academia-loving side.

Will: Will is much more daring and extroverted than I am, but I do tend to be the most risk-loving person of my friend group, and I do wish I could do some of the things he'd love to do. He's the confident me. If I write him more, I may incorporate ADHD into his character, which would be another similarity.

Maera: Maera shares loving people deeply (like Raymond, who also shares that trait) and wanting to protect them. I also think that I could, like Maera does, exist happily with close friendships but without a romantic relationship, without being aro/ace.

Logan: Logan is me when I'm adulting, when I think I have experience adulting, or when I think I have any idea what parenting is like. Which I don't XD.

Myra: Myra is the insecure part of me. She also shares with me an interest in vintage and the more interesting parts of history, but likes it much more than I do.

Faye: Faye is low key me projecting my frustration with my dad and remembering my queer awakening. She likes mysteries, which I also love but she loves them more.

Tagging @thegreatobsesso @sleepy-night-child & @drippingmoon because I'm more familiar with your characters, but anyone who wants to can feel free to join & share!

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Three Facts Tag Game

Tagged by @amapofyourstars (Personal was tagged but because you did about OCs/WIP I wanted to too)

Rules: post 3 random facts about yourself (or your book/ ocs) & tag the last 7 blogs in your notifications.

Random facts about Second Chance (cuz I need more excuses to share stuff about that WIP)

I wrote the first draft my senior year of HS and it's the only NaNoWriMo I've won (but so much has changed I don't want to share old draft stuff XD)

Chrys, the MC, is really good at math, though she has no desire to do it at a high level. It's just pretty easy for her, she understands it instinctively-- not to the point of being a math whiz, but enough to do mildly complex problems in her head.

All my gods use they/them pronouns, simply because gender doesn't apply to them (there is a god of gender, having a gender would be beneath them). The exception is Ardisci, god of knowledge, who has connected themselves so much with humanity that they've got a little girl in them.

I'm gunna go back a bit in my notifs because I just did one with the 10 most recent but I may repeat anyway :) Tagging @roeroe478 @sshehanpoetry @spicyfrogwings @creationinspiration @calicojackofficial @puzzleddragon02 & @jaypiry

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Second Chance -Intro

as of now, this is what I’m planning on working on for 2021 NaNoWriMo

Tag: #second chance

Genre: Urban fantasy new adult

More: Gods, alternate mythology, alternate modern day (?), college, gods, steampunk aesthetics (not sure if it qualifies as punk), time travel, prophecy, time loops, wlw

Told in first person past tense.

Plot Summary/Synopsis

Chrys has lived every day twice for as long as she can remember. With every day repeating, the first one disappearing with no consequences, she developed a double life-- one of apathy and risk, and another of perfect grades, good relationships, and impeccable foreknowledge. When she meets Russell, someone who seems to live the same repeating life she does, suddenly her two lives become a lot less separate. Things become worse when time stops one day and Chrys discovers why days repeat-- a world of gods and servants who work for them. Her search for answers is hindered by the focus of the recently stolen Spirit of Time, something that may have far more to do with her and Russell than expected.

More under the cut!

World

(Main thing that I'm updating in rewrite so will add more as I work on it!)

Relevant Gods:

Saecys: God of Time. Saecys is elusive, not often communicating with servants and definitely not with people. He is sustained so easily that his power and significance never goes into question-- as long as people are keeping track of the time, Saecys will exist. However, Saecys is unique in that their power is severed from their consciousness-- instead, this is kept and maintained by the "Spirit" of time, and the Time Servants serve as the main influences and main enforcers. This allows Saecys to extend their influence more than they could on their own.

Auratiae: (will be further developed) God of Divination and Prophecy. Never was anywhere near as major a god, and has had some resentment for it, more their followers than them themselves. Is sustained in modern day by zodiac and horoscopes, and as always by tarot and other forms of divination (one of the things I want to dove more into is if I can keep this but not be resentful of modern witchcraft, or if I should rework a new god into their role. Will edit this post as I figure that out)

Ardisci: God of Knowledge. For now not important to the plot although they become more important later. Missing, but the vessel through which Knowledge and pursuit of knowledge goes. (Her being missing may have something to do with the prevalence of misinformation).

Moriscer: God of Memory. Hints of Moriscer come into play when exploring memory projections.

Characters

Chrys: (previously Carson) MC. Chrys is, on null days, apathetic. She seeks thrills, engages in reckless behavior, and allows herself to be selfish. She has made herself a few rules for null days that keep her from crossing certain boundaries. On real days though, you'd never recognize this-- good attendance, grades, an intuitive sense about the problems she and her friends may face. It's harder than she thinks to fully have two separate lives, and the apathy of one may seek into the other just like the compassion of one may show up in ways she didn't expect. This very constant and normal part of her life is something she may not think she likes, but it has both ruined and enriched her life in ways she doesn't realize until it becomes important.

Ava: Ava is Chrys's connection to her "real" life, that is, the life that lasts. Ava's the reason Chrys stayed in their hometown after graduating high school. Ava is very sweet, shy, and a bit repressed... and far more perceptive than Chrys realizes. She keeps a lot close to her chest due to life with an emotionally abusive parent, and vocalizes very little of her inner feelings. She feels close to Chrys too... definitely no feelings there that are anything more than platonic, nope no way what're you talking about (some internalized homophobia at work there). Although she doesn't feel free to pursue it, Ava is greatly interested in mythology, history, and philosophy, and ideally would want to be a historical nonfiction writer.

Joce: Chrys’s friendship with Joce was mainly to have a friend to go on null day adventures with, but in sustaining their friendship, they’ve become closer than Chrys intended by just having someone already as risk-seeking as she was. Joce is brave, bold, and impulsive. She’s not used to having freinds that stick around, and has no idea why the studious and well-adjusted (ha) Chrys has befriended her.

Russell: A lot about Russell is Spoilers! In a way to describe him in as least a spoiler-y way possible, Russell is friendly and eager to be liked, a bit sheltered/with a skewed perspective of the world. As far as Chrys knows, he’s like her-- living days twice without knowing why, but somehow ever developed the same double life and sense of apathy.

Nellie: A Time Servant who works as a field agent. Lost her arm a few years back and uses a prosthetic. Very driven and determined. Trying to catch the thief who stole the spirit of time because  she blames herself, despite having very little to do with it.

Varity: high-ranking Time Servant, one of few that gets direct contact with Saecys.

Alina: Assistant to Varity, liason between agents and teams. Tries to help everybody as best she can. Used to be a medic.

Silas: Very into mechanics and tinkering. Guard of the Spirit of Time and knows the spirit better than anyone (except Saecys). Likes to figure out how things work and experiment. Considers the Spirit his best friend, but doesn't admit that because it wounds crazy.

Nora: A lot about her is also spoiler-y, but I will say that she’s very possessive and controlling

Other

Character Portraits:

Picrew

Current taglist:

(Ask to be added!)

@puzzleddragon02​

Note: I’ve decided that at least for preptober purposes, I’m not going to keep answers to prompts spoiler-free-- so there will likely be major spoilers under cuts. I don’t care too much about sharing them, especially since I feel like I’ve shared the big plot twist already (Because it sets up the plot of book 2), and idk if anyone is going to follow this enough that they would care about avoiding spoilers, but if you do want to avoid them, don’t go under the cuts!)