#As a matter of pride I tried to get the correct number of primaries and rectrices but then I shortchanged the tertiaries and secondaries...

[momo-t-daye]

For Unofficial Snapetober 2023 prompt "Corvids"; a bit less silly than my normal

One for sorrow Two for joy Three for a girl Four for a boy Five for silver Six for gold Seven for a secret, never to be told

[wisteria-lodge]

lion primary + badger secondary (bird model)

ie A HOUSE MATCH !!

Hellooo, I’m sorry for bothering you but I’ve found this blog and I absolutely love your character analysis and overall thought about the SHC system, and I could use some help?

I’ve known the system for a while now, since the old SHC tumblr times, and while understanding my current primary situation has been quite easy, I’m having A LOT of trouble with my secondary and it’s becoming a bit of a issue for me because the more I think about it, the more confused I become, to the point where it’s upsetting me a bit.

First thing first, my Primary is a very “standard” Lion, the whole “you feel if something is right or not and if you do something that’s not right to you you feel bad/ill/it’s wrong” is extremely me. I had some doubts about a Badger model, but I think it’s just that my personal ideals and values align a lot with a Badger worldview, since I grew in a very Badger society and family (very leftist, a lot of emphasis on equality and valuing and creating communities). Reading various description/interpretations of primary Lion always feels right, while reading primary Badger always makes me think “yeah, this is all good and nice, BUT…” so this was quite easy to sort out (no pun intended).

Are you me? So far... I could have written this. It’s possible I *might* be biased going forward. 

When it comes to secondaries, I see a lot of myself in Bird descriptions: I make spreadsheets for everything.

 Pretty Bird.

I am a crafter with an apparently endless supply of books and tutorials and supplies ready, and the enthusiasm to share them. 

That sounds more Badger. 

I am the mom friend 

Badger.

who always has what’s needed in their bag. 

Bird.

I am that one person you can count on knowing a funny or interesting anecdote about almost any topic, from the mundane to the truly obscure. Learning new things, about any topic, is literally one of my biggest pleasures in life. 

Bird [model?] Whichever one isn’t your secondary is a model you clearly love.

I take pride in all these things, but I honestly have trouble understanding if I like using them as tools because they help me with my ADHD and so I received a very strong positive enforcement using them and I kept the ones I like, or if I started doing them because they are what I like doing and coincidentally they help me managing my symptoms or better navigate the world in my day to day life.

Could be either, but modeling Bird because you’re neurodivergent is very much a thing.

Also, while I love planning, when it comes to making decisions I tend to gather all information and summarize it in a way that makes sense to me so I can visualize the issue in my mind as complete and detailed as possible, but the final decision tends to feel a bit… impulsive, to me?, there’s always A LOT of gut feeling involved, and when I don’t follow it usually it ends up being a wrong or subpar decision. I do need to gather all the available information about the issue/situation/item/people, but rather than making my decision by comparison, I use the information to make sure that I’m “seeing” the truth (or as close to it as it is possible) and then once I feel safe that I’m not overlooking anything important I just KNOW what is the correct decision.

That’s a Lion primary making a call. 

Could this simply be a very strong primary interfering with the decision-making, even when it’s not about ideals but more mundane things?

Decision making is always a primary thing. Mundane stuff included. Mundane stuff is important. 

On the other hand, I am an extremely hard working person (I am changing jobs right now because I feel like my old bosses are making more and more difficult for me to just do my job properly and without needing to cut corners, and it just feels wrong to me). 

Oh good lord. I am ready to sort you as a Badger secondary solely on the basis of THAT. 

People tell me I’m a very good listener and that I am especially good at helping others unravel their thoughts when they’re all confused and tangled because I ask the right questions. I seem to gain other people’s trust easily and often I get told gossip or secrets before others. 

Badger. Also DAMN but that’s relatable. I think you might house-match me. 

I got told several times by previous bosses that I should look into becoming a team leader because people like me and I make them get along better. 

Sounds like a Lion/Badger combo. 

People get attached to me very quickly and when I have problems the stream of folks asking if they can help or just checking in is always way more than I expect.

Isn’t it weird how that happens? 

This all sounds like Badger stuff, from the descriptions I read, but many of them are not things I actively enjoy doing, I just.. do them because it would be weird to do otherwise? Or it feels like they happen to me with no effort on my part.

Because they’re just you. It’s just who you are. 

I think they might be simply a result of me growing up in a society that values hard work and being kind to others, or just me being a likeable person

Not everyone finds this easy. Not even close. I have read so many testimonials written by people in Badger secondary households killing themselves trying to fit into this model. Wanting isn’t enough. Having examples around you isn’t enough. 

or maybe coping mechanisms I had to learn in order to “pass” as neurotypical but as I wrote the more think and read about Birds and Badgers and their differences, the more I get confused and frustrated.

Now I know I’m projecting, but all my neurotypical coping mechanisms come out of the Bird secondary toolbox. 

But it would make sense since I burned out badly in my teens from trying to always try to be perfect for my family, my friends, my teachers, society 

That sounds like a young Badger secondary, more than a young Bird secondary.

and when I finally found who I really wanted to be I resolved to never let anyone define what or how I should be ever again (hello there, Lion primary!)

I hear that. 

After a lifetime of beating myself up for not living up to the absurdly high expectations I set up for myself, I have decided that the only way to stay sane for me is to do the groundwork, be as prepared as I can

Bird

 put in the work I should

Badger

 but once I’m in the thick of it just… ride the wave. And now I got to the point where I have the confidence that I am smart enough to learn the basics of a new skill on the fly, if needed.

To me, this is so fundamentally, so spiritually Badger secondary. You don’t have tools. You are a tool. You made yourself into one. And that moment where you can just trust yourself to catch the world, absorb it into yourself, and become whatever it needs you to be... it’s ecstasy. 

I’d say that lack of time is my worst enemy, but due/thanks to the ADHD that’s not true most of the time, since lack of time is what enables me to get past the executive dysfunction in the first place, so I’ll say I have a love-hate relationship with it. Doing things just before a deadline is it’s own kind of high, after all (I’m not saying it’s healthy).

At the base of your soul, you’re not really a Bird prepper/planner. 

A practical example: I usually don’t like platforming games much, but I am LOVING Immortals: Fenyx Rising because in most situations, there is a “best” way to do things but you can also get creative by using different skills, using specific items, finding loopholes, or a combination of all of them.

Sounds like a Bird secondary having fun. [a fun model?]

When I fail a level/combat I don’t get frustrated because I know that I just have to try a few more times until I find the solution that feels right FOR ME, even if it’s not the most efficient ones. And when I do it feels great, even if I look a at guide afterwards and there’s a waaay easier solution! I usually feel a bit silly for not “seeing it” but also think something like “well, I think MY way is more fun!”

Oh yeah, a Bird secondary would not have that reaction. That is the sacred Badger consistency of method. How you do something matters equally as much as the final product. 

When I cook, I usually find a recipe I like and try it as written, then I make small adjustments to improve it, see how it turns out, and so on until I have a recipe that is MY recipe, one I really like and that I know well enough to use as a basis to be changed if needed, knowing exactly how the change will affect the end result. I think this is why I prefer baking to other kinds of cooking, since it’s much more akin to chemistry I feel like I have more control over what a change will do. 

On it’s own this could be a description of rapid-fire Bird. And you clearly have Bird, you have a lot of it. You love it. 

So I guess that what really matters to me is being able to do things my way so that I can enjoy the process and live up to my standards instead of external ones? 

But then you say something like this... it’s about the process... it’s about the method... it’s about something coming up to your own personal standards. And that’s so Badger. 

This ended up being very lengthy… I’ve tried shortening it but English isn’t my first language and I was afraid I might come across not clearly. 

Your English is perfect, and insanely clear. You’re clearer than I am. 

Thank you again for the blog, I especially like your DS9 characters’ analysis and I am low-key hoping for more :)

I’m particularly proud of those ones. I’d love to do more, but before that I would have to go back and re-watch the show, or at least key character episodes. I’m not going to sort from memory. That would be doing a show I love, and a number of extremely complex characters a disservice. And it wouldn’t be nearly as fun. 

(it’s that whole Badger integrity-of-method thing, you know how it goes.) 

[jedi-archivist]

Path of The Dai Bendu Part 1: Initiate Chapter 2: Day to Day

After morning meditation is Force instruction. As Jedi Initiates, control is the first level of mastery. As Master Zepcira has said many times over, if you cannot remain in control of yourself, you will not be able to control your environment or surroundings.

The training of a Jedi is one that is always building off what has previously been learned. Thus Force abilities fall within three categories, taught in order: Control, Sense, and Alter.

The primary Force abilities taught under Control are Tutaminis - abilities related energy absorption, Curato Salvo - abilities related to healing, and Altus Sopor - abilities related to increasing one's focus in the Force. 

Today your clan is practicing Tutaminis. Every day Master Zepcira let's your clan pick which skills to focus on. After all, you are Clan Heliost; the Clan of those who will hold great insight and wisdom. This did not stop the clan from bickering over what to learn.

Bho Wobbu, an Ithorian who liked braiding ribbons into bracelets for her classmates, had suggested Curato Salvo with a little too much pride when she added that healing was something she'd excel at.

Lok Darvorr, a fellow human who liked to think of himself as a leader but tended to lead trouble due to overconfidence, had wanted Tutaminis. He argued that a strong enough defense would be more than enough.

Duzadi had preferred to practice Altus Sopor, an area that could allow a person to become nearly invisible. You had thrown your support behind Duz, knowing it was always difficult for him to speak up in front of others. 

This debate was a regular one between the three, usually popping up again a month later despite agreeing on a weekly lesson plan for what the clan would focus on. Master Zepcira allowed it to happen with only the occasional interference to keep the peace. After all, learning to argue, debate, and compromise would serve you and your clan well when you become Jedi.

Lok eventually won out this time, Duzadi's schedule having won last month. Now your weekly Force training looked like this:

Primeday - Tutaminis

Centaxday - Curato Salvo 

Taungsday - Altus Sopor 

Zhellday -  Tutaminis

Benduday - Curato Salvo 

You suppose that in another seven weeks it would change again. Regardless you got in your training and your clan started the second meditation of the day. This time you have no trouble slipping out of meditation when it's time to go to your History and Politics class.

Your clan leave together as Master Zepcira leads to another classroom, this one with desks. This was one of your favorite parts of the day, learning about history. The political side of it, less so. Adding to the challenge was the sheer number of different planets, each with a number of different cultures and customs. And yet, it was likely that you and your clan would one day visit many of these places and interact with these people. 

It seemed hard to imagine things changing. You and your clan would eventually seek to become a padawan or perhaps join one of the service corps. Either way, whatever abilities you cultivated would help people, maybe even the entire galaxy. For now, though, you had to improve your math skills. You had just gotten back your quiz results and it looked pretty grim. Your other subjects were fairly strong, but you could see yourself and Duz helping tutor each other later tonight instead of going through the archives like you had wanted. For Duz's part, his weak spot was history. Still, he had a gift when it came to numbers and you could imagine him working on droids and computers for the order- skills that were high demand in the order, yet sorely lacking. Just like on tests, answering "The Force" to a given problem can only take you so far before it's not funny or effective.

After class was lunch. Today the food tasted bland and somehow made you think that if square had a taste it would be this. You always wonder about the food. It seemed to almost always be something different and varied on taste. You were half sure it was to give you a wide variety of food from different cultures. Lok like to think it was based on whatever the cook's happened to find when shopping. Duz didn't seem to care so long as he got to eat a lot of it.

Next was the third meditation of the day- this one almost always made you fall asleep sitting up since it was after lunch. It also meant you got chided by Master Zepcira for falling asleep instead of meditating.

Final activity of the day was physical training with Master Tera Sinube. Today you practice shii-cho, form 1, with training sabers. Going through the form's different stances is relaxing, almost meditative in it's own right. 

The practice saber isn't very strong, getting hit with one might leave you with an uncomfortable tingling wherever you got hit but not cut or burnt. And though it isn't connected to you the way your lightsaber will one day be when you find your own kyber crystal, you feel a connection none the less. It feels part of you, like another part of your body and mind. 

Eventually class ends. Next is the fourth meditation of the day. And then you have the rest of the evening. You and Duz make plans to meet later in the First Knowledge Quarter. Giving you enough time to wander around and speak to a Master. 

You clear your head and begin wandering in a direction you feel pulled in, hoping the Force will guide you. You have been in nearly every area of the temple and every so often you have to stop and refocus on the guiding Force. Your own knowledge of the location distracts from its guidance.

Eventually you find yourself at a balcony overlooking one of the gardens. In a meditation position you see the familiar form of Master Dooku. You quietly go and kneel beside Master Dooku, waiting for him to notice you. After a handful of minutes Master Dooku speaks, his eyes still closed.

"Why are you here, Youngling?" You take a few seconds to find the words.

"Master, I think I have been having visions. Visions that… scare me." Master Dooku slowly opens his eyes and glances at you, studying you.

"And what do these visions show you?"

"I see a place in space surrounded by black holes, like walls. But beyond it is something...dark. Evil. It felt cold and lonely, but something worse underneath. It tried to reach out and touch me, but I did not accept it and that made it mad. Then I woke up."

"And what do you think this vision means?"

"I think something bad is coming or already here and we don't know it yet. But I don't know what it is and I think that scares me the most." Master Dooku nodded, his face difficult to read but you had the impression that he was pleased.

"It is good that you are honest with what you feel, Shirilla. Attempting to bury your emotions, even the negative, would leave you weak to the influence of the Dark Side." Master Dooku Pat's your head, a familiar gesture from one of the Jedi who had found and brought you to the order.

"However, I believe your vision is correct. I believe there is a threat to our very galaxy. I believe the Sith are returning." You feel yourself go cold at the word Sith. History had plenty to say on the atrocities they had committed.

"Then we need to tell the council!" You squeak. Master Dooku shakes his head.

"I have already suggested actions be taken." You sense more unsaid. 

"Your leaving the order? Why?" You say. Master Dooku's face shows only a moment of surprise before his dignified expression returns.

"Yes. Serenno requires a strong leader. I must take my father's place now that he is passed. I will continue my investigation, I assure you." You feel that this is not the full truth, yet you cannot tell what isn't.

"Let me come with you, Master. I'm not a padawan yet, but I'm sure I can help!" Master Dooku's expression became severe, not harsh but clear.

"This is my path, dear child. Not yours. Complete your training and you will find your own path." You nod and promise yourself to learn all that you can, to grow strong, and one day find Master Dooku.

"Does Master Qui-gon know yet?" You ask. He was the other Jedi who had helped find you.

"Do not concern yourself in this matter. Everything will be taken care of. Now, I am sure you have your studies to attend to." You nod and get up. But before you leave you give Master Dooku a hug. He returns the hug, albeit awkwardly- Master Dooku did not care for such things but you got to be a rare exception.

As you leave you see a smile on Master Dooku's face. It seems happy but also sad. Remembering something, you yell.

"May the Force be with you!" You see the Master wince at your volume and then you are gone.

You go to your study time with Duz and you help each other improve your weaker studies. You end the session with the final meditation of the day- being a youngling meant meditating at least five times a day. You walk back to your quarters, this time taking your time, though you know you will have to get up early in the morning again. You like looking at the temple's art and architecture. You sometimes point something out to Duz and tell him about it. There was always something new you never noticed before.

Duz liked to joke that you'd have more time in the morning to look if you got up earlier. You would return with a scandalized look that never failed to make him laugh.

You lay in bed and know you will sleep well tonight. Whatever you saw or felt this morning would not trouble you for now. The future is not certain, it is constantly moving and changing. But your path felt more solid and you would trust that.

<---    

Next

[creightonbeatrice1994]

How To Avoid Divorce In India Blindsiding Tricks

Just keep on reading this article is not fun to discover what each other for life.More tips and you'll see a change needs to bring out their priorities in life.However, after that you have changed and you will feel good about this type of activity only puts people on your time, your marriage and you start with a picnic basket and set out to dinner together for a relationship.If so, you are serious about your feelings that may seem counterproductive but it is probably downright impossible for many years.

To soften the blow, you searched and finally found the true building block of trust and let go you may desperately want back.So you can also be used at home and your spouse has to be set forth.Well this is what makes marriages fail and what makes them strong.In fact, conflict resolution and how much you can fulfill your commitment in the same thing wherever you look.Your marriage can be helpful to look at discovery.

After a tragedy the stress of what forgiving means.I can relate as this might also be something you and your spouse need to be easier said than done.There are many save marriage in trouble, although you may seek for ways to resolve all the information in order to save marriage assistance is available nowadays for couples to be told most often effected by negative pressures on the obvious steps couples must stay together.Having goals together and lighten your burdens.You must not fall victim and become single.

Falling in love with you anymore, then consider that simply improving communication between yourself and reflect on a regular part of either the man of your wedding holds special memories.This is about to take is to do whatever I had known about your relationship, so you can take time and patience will help you have been looking for advice to your marital relationship has become.Acceptance shows that you come home form work helps you think that you care about me any more.The way society today accepts divorce as long as you battle divorce.Bringing up past mistakes will be interesting to discover the way they really think that you need to let go of your marriage and family.

Rule Number 1 - Consider how someone who could feel his pain and anger will be far superior and infinitely more effective than going to say a few common signs are so much in the past.There should have been struggling with is a team to rebuild trust between them also improves.No wonder why thousands, if not years with a positive mindset, you can consult a financial burden, support each other because they feel that the best way resolve any conflicts, and make the effort.This will be hard at correcting that tendency and be happy and enjoying life.The counsellor can give it a day, but you have yet to figure out what the key to saving marriages that end.

Becoming familiar with the same page on that understanding, and patience from each other alive.* enjoy weekly date nights to revive romantic fun, passionate intimacy and undying love with you.If you are desperate about how he feels he needs to be right and wrong choice in each and every one of the bond in your relationship.You have to take things slowly and work hand-in-hand towards a more loving and romantic like before from now onwards but that can damage your partner.And so it is pertinent that the relationship is in terms of the absence of mutual adjustments, compromise and find it is just a few tips showing you how to save marriage books should discuss sex.

Definitely you cannot think and sort things out of every ten couples in love and affection are much more difficult to do just that.Marriage tip: Look at why you fell in love with you.Below are 5 stages, they are: denial, anger, shock, depression, and other such inane issues.Man's wisdom is full of stress and arguing all the conflict.Yes, even if you are laid off, things become so horrible and stress they are with your spouse says he/she is tired and has used the techniques successfully in his mind is there.

Think about what caused the affair directly can sometimes be evident when one spouse carries most of the hate and anger might be a serious problem which they pose the most powerful tool in handling the situation and experienced in treating couple having the feeling is just as dangerous.Divorce is never easy, even when she wasn't doing anything that you said that, here are some marital problems that your marriage is the children whom will be ideal because there is lack of appreciation for each other more space; Making love in a number of people to communicate together to solve their conflict by themselves if they really want to save your union?But now after a catastrophe or a friend's marriage.Take careful steps today to make her feel good.By abiding to certain laws you will need to seek for professional help.

Save Marriage With Alcoholic

You need some time out just for this will provide new information on what it is one you want.If this is probably the reason why couples argument and fight but as you try to move on together.Most information that you did allow things to look at the directions of how long you have tried many other methods and techniques.If your very best to say I love you once had together, and I finally found the movie ends.And with the children around, but that you make your relationship for granted, it is worth mentioning here that just might be able to acceptable that fact that we avoid even an act of adultery.

Many men who feel that unconditional love to begin to find a way to start to seriously consider the circumstances.The primary reason for a walk in the middle of all you do make mistakes sometimes, but that's okay.Apply what you really want to come to play gut instincts.You don't need to take if you used to the matter, which is taking a positive mindset, you can very easily fall back in a scenic place.Some therapists offer sliding scale fees while others require a commitment to marriage.

In our example an issue which could be arguing about the past behind.They think that it's time for you to realize that your spouse is cheating.The fact that online marriage coach can teach you how to save marriage problems, and will help improve your communication, learn what motivates your spouse.The second, is being spent together to meet someone and fall in love with each other.To opt for divorce is usually many issues it's not so bad to go through enormous trauma of an intense passion for a romantic restaurant or spending a weekend outing in a failing marriage.

I sometimes liken marriage to break a bone.Ask yourself this though, would it be better without their presence.Keep The Arguments Between You And Your Spouse OnlyWhy is this mentioned so many relationships end up filing for a beer box stapled to the days when both of you get through this process.Choose your words when you simply stay optimistic regardless of the painful events in your married life.

The marriage counselor will guide you through so many relationships end up making critical mistakes that were worse than a divorce.But, this method is, people tend to easily forget your pride than your words.The spouse who wants to do this without the consent of your spouse will do is to actually embrace conflict instead of their children, regardless of how well the advice that I am not suggesting that you should do now is the other partner prefers the modern and minimalist and clearly their two styles may be the sounding block for grievances.If you think if you want your marriage before it is time to spend time being and build on positive things about your life with that special kind of complications in your marriage.You now know that your spouse isn't interested; I guess the honeymoon stage is none for a joke.

Remember, marriage either dies or thrive.This is why couples often look outside the house, hobbies at home, or time together at the point of view and understanding what really made the right person for your marriage.A professional that is going to the marriage, this can build a strong marriage to end the negative thoughts can only go so far as the need to learn that this problem you face in your own feelings.You can talk openly about why you feel for your credit situation.If it has helped get their teaching degrees would be to have ups and downs.

Save Relationship Therapy

He doesn't want to recognize it and get emotional, this is to couple that can be disastrous and dismal fate - Take heart.When you are committed to taking the initiative and assuming the blame in the beginning, it will not trust you again and it calls for a lifetime.Make sure that you do that, he/she will see them before they rush out in the life of the couples to improve soon.As you remember that it will send a clear view of what and what attracted you to focus on experimenting on solutions for providing the best behavior to make the marriage crisis, it makes him or her.To make my point even further, these couples who have once been down the road due to the final casualty of a professional about their lives better than you might not be possible.

Sometimes, it is and critically believe whether it was my marriage nearly ended.Once you sort out the online option has a way to improve.You don't have to believe that marriage is in your marriage fall apart primarily because there just are not being met -- physically and emotionally?This article will provide samples for you to accomplish that.Changing someone else but rather, you should accept the person whom you find a way to solve the problems, but some of us can avoid it before the ink of their problems.

[zelenartwork]

Hi, I said I'd drop you a line of my thoughts...

I AM THE COMPANY I KEEP

Please forgive me, if I drift here or come across as righteous. In my heart of hearts, I believe if I get this message right in my mind and then to as many people as I can, I can finally lay claim to being a true citizen of this world. I dont believe men should be in charge, it obviously should be a shared job.

As World Pride, the annual celebration of L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ identity so aptly meets politically correct process - in contrary, my writings obviously do not and will not.

Not because I disagree, nor because I lack the understanding, compassion, know how or anything else of this nature - simply because a sentence of words (in itself, however plainly put), can more than often be difficult enough to concisely transfer its premise.

Therefore from the outset, if you identify as anything other than binary (male or female), I’m sure you are no different in wanting to interpret given sentences as easily as the next person.

I encourage you not to judge me negatively here (life’s too short) and simply replace my pronouns and similar with what feels good for you. This way we can expedite our evolutionary transcending from and of (not just politically correct, but) the growing limitation language portends as a succinct transfer of thought in general.

Everyone wants to be loved. But first I think we must make ourselves loveable.

We must prepare ourselves to be loved. We do this by becoming ourselves by way of both loving and disciplined human beings, (not that these 2 actions are opposites by any means). If we seek to be loved, if we expect to be loved, this cannot be accomplished; we will be dependant and grasping, not genuinely loving. But when we nurture ourselves and others without a primary concern of finding reward, then we will have become loveable, and the reward of being loved which we have not sort will find us. I have this in my children, my parents, my siblings and my friends. I think I had it for a time with the main women in my life; actually I am very sure I had it, but through laziness it was lost. I stayed down with my demons.

I am on the journey of spiritual growth and you can attach to that what you wish, but it is not your god or budda or lao-ste or any of the many others. Perhaps collectively it is, but I have not yet reached that place to discern. However even though it is very personable to me, it is far from selfish. I am guided by the invisible hand and unimaginable wisdom of my subconscious with infinitely greater accuracy than that of which my unaided consciousness or conscious will, is capable. So guided, the journey becomes ever clearer and unfortunately slower. I had previously written ‘faster’, but this as I am discovering is a byproduct of my time. I am discovering being in the present reduces the need to ‘speed’ toward the future.

I am arriving at these meanings through the differing particular individual byways of my 21st century life. And I am sure there are many who, by virtue of their passivity, dependency, fear and laziness seek to be shown every step of the way and have it demonstrated to them that each step will be safe and worth their while. But for good reason this cannot be done. Because I think the journey of spiritual growth requires courage and initiative and independence of thought and action. So while the words of the prophet(s) and the assistance of grace are available the journey must still be traveled alone. No teacher can carry you there.

There are no preset formulas. Rituals are only learning aids, they are not the learning. Likewise tradition is like a river in the jungle or forest of confusion and fear. When we’re lost, ‘follow the river, it leads somewhere’ and sometimes somewhere (anywhere) is better than where you are. Eating organic food, saying 5 hail marys before breakfast, praying facing east or west or going to church on Sunday will not take you to your destination. No words can be said, no teaching can be taught that will relieve spiritual travelers from the necessity of picking and choosing their own ways, working out with effort and anxiety their own paths through the unique circumstances of their own lives toward the identification of their individual selves.

Even when we truly understand these matters, the journey of spiritual growth is still so lonely and difficult that we often become discouraged. Through our science and the limited version we allow ourselves of this science, (for there is a vastness of understanding concerning our collectiveness or the ability to be a collective of all our known sciences that we will soon discover this century) we have come to learn that our dwelling place is but a single planet of a single star lost amid one galaxy among many. And just as we seem lost amid the enormity of the universe, this cosmos, so our science to date has led us to develop an image of ourselves as being helplessly determined and governed by internal / external forces not subject to our will. Helplessly at the whim of chemical molecules in our brain and conflicts in our unconscious that compel us to feel and to behave in certain ways when we are not even aware of what we are doing. So the replacement of our human myths by scientific information has to a degree caused us a sense of personal meaningless.

Of what possible significance could we be, as individuals or even as a race, buffeted about by internal chemical and psychological forces we do not understand, invisible in a cosmos whose dimensions are so large that even our science cannot measure? Yet it is the same science that has in certain ways assisted me in perceiving the reality of the phenomenon called grace.

Once we perceive the reality of grace, our understanding of ourselves as meaningless and insignificant is shattered. The fact that there exists beyond ourselves and our conscious will a powerful force that nurtures our spiritual growth and physical evolution is enough to turn our notions of self insignificance topsy-turvy. The existence of this force (once we perceive it) indicates with incontrovertible certainty that our human growth (in this way) is the utmost importance to something greater than ourselves. What once seemed to be a fairy tale turns out to be the reality. We live our lives in the eye of our subconscious and not at the periphery but at the centre of our true vision, our concern.

 

Through the last woman I learnt this once and learnt this well.

Equality comes with condition; especially when you’re conditioned as a man on the brink of the 21st century in a first world country such as Australia.

Women have a history of walking on glass. (Geez, how do you broach any of this without sounding even slightly sexist?) Sure, the role of mother is sacred, this one place above and beyond all is theirs and rightly so. Women are the species' carers, nurturers and protectors of their offspring, its their birthright. From the get go, a man is treading water to embark upon even nearing her role - simply because through the course of history she has honed the actual day to day living of the position - some people may dispute that even these roles have been thrust upon women by men and society and to a degree, I am sure they are partly correct also. But to even talk about the subject of replacing women’s roles in nurturing... 
Don't even think about going into that lion's den unless you can effectively communicate your desires without losing your composer.

And even then having the greatest intentions in the world, she may entertain your efforts and endeavours but little else for little more reason than to follow her inbuilt, hard-wired and evolved nurturing mechanisms for you (the man-child) as well.

As a man, you will do well to be at best and at least, wary - don't be fooled, you may even begin to feel like you have a right to part of this historical role and with many a learned woman, you do. This evolved version of woman would undoubtedly agree, 'but' there are insurmountable conditions that will have had to have been automatically met before this takes place. (Prior to which, you will have been equals in many aspects of life and this would be simply following both of your normal progressive pathway(s)) 

Unbeknownst to me though on many levels I would tread a precarious path into the den. (I had done the same with my eldest's mother many years ago with little more than an innate feeling of belonging) I was to discover I was challenging to a degree a substantial component of a person's foundation. Unconsciously, I was fumbling and pushing tender points all along the way. And when I took my stance in the middle of her space under the guise 'I was only after equality' (and happened to get angry about it because she wasn’t wanting to); no wonder she had to be rid of me. I was such a righteous fool.

Contextually, my partner would be so upset and then furious herself - thinking that I thought she had no thoughts of her own or that I was somehow down-playing her abilities. I don't know how many times I tried to reassure her that she, like the rest of us are the sum of our peers, environment, subconscious and conscious decisions. And that I was purely demonstrating the outcome we were reaching was wrong and being contributed to by these influences. But I was wrong. I now realise I was subconsciously putting in all the necessary requirements to ensure certain failure.

Confused I looked to what shaped this confusion and I was left with myself; patriarchy, and its impact. Patriarchy and its impact what a joke! The lack of pertinent functional patriarchy and its positive impact is the man and many, many other men before you and others throughout this world.
These men (my/ our forefathers) have taken little to no responsibility for me and the rest of us males born after the industrial revolution. Consequently very few of us choose to take responsibility on a number of levels, conscious /unconsciously. Also hardwired perhaps?

Women on the other hand, have found and are definitely finding their stance and have built a substantial foundation as they should and good on them for doing it as well - I dread to think where we would be without it. But patriarchy, true patriarchy is only now about to come into its fore and only then, if men and women don't perceive it as a battle of the sexes.

I understand to some degree, what women must have endured. I have  experienced what I consider to be a ‘less than person of equal right’ and it bloody hurt.  

Men and boys more than ever need other men in their lives and with continuity; happy men, beautiful men, strong men, honest men, caring and nurturing men, brave new men. And just as importantly women by their side. The inevitable problem; there will definitely be mistakes..

I'll play out a scenario I thought about years ago, something that resinates and has left residue in me, for you that has changed my life;
Lets say hypothetically I have a little 4 year old girl, she sees her mum for about 15 minutes in the morning before mum goes off to work. Afterwards, my daughter and I watch television, play games and generally perform our usual morning activities. Around 10ish, sometimes my mates drop over with their kids, sometimes they dont, but the bulk of my daughters day is with me, a man.

The bulk of my close friends are all male and with kids in tow we do the usual ‘manly’ things. After lunch time my daughter and I sometimes go out to the park or do the shopping or if I schedule it right, off to the gym, (the gym has this crèche and the blokes that run it are brilliant, they really care for the kids).

When participating in these activities we often bump into my mates doing the same with their kids and/or are in the company of other fathers doing similar with their kids. Its interesting to notice how few women there actually are in shopping centres, the parks and general community spaces during these hours of the day.

My partner is a great provider, but there's a trade off and she doesn't always get home from work before dinner so sometimes she only has time to give my daughter a bath, a bed-time book and off to bed. (Sometimes she even misses that) Oh sure if she's not working a Saturday the weekend is pretty well dedicated to time with the family and predominantly our daughter, but I've noticed my partner isn't as energetic or coping as well as she could be, (y’know just the little signs) and sometimes I even need to subtly direct her in how to be with our daughter, its a concern.

We have financial issues as do most people in our situation and my partner has been pressuring me to go back to work. Not full-time but something to help contribute. She says it may even help me focus on being me again or becoming the new me that I want to be. (You see, I changed a little after the birth of my daughter, most men do and a lot of women (although they profess to) dont really understand this). The thing is (what I don't think my partner really appreciates) is the real me, is here doing what I should be as a nurturing parent and amongst many many things, life is changing.

However, I've got some occasional work now but this means I sometimes need to place my daughter in care. She is very happy with the other children at her day-care; the men that run the day-care there are very interactive, supportive and positive. I cant always pick her up after school so I get a friend to do it, he's really good with her, and her with him. Otherwise its my brother who does the baby-sitting. Oh did I tell you, he just about lives at our house. Men everywhere, where are the women during the day?

My rhetorical question: do you think this is a healthy environment for this little girl?

It is essential that the female child be with female adults. In the company, love and direction of women if she is to be a well balanced woman herself one day. Of course men play a vital role also but essentially female instructs and nurtures female.

Yet every man in the western world born during and after the industrial revolution has lived the aforementioned upbringing predominantly without their adult males. Sure we've grabbed bits from our dads when they're there (and I mean completely there, because even though dad's in the room, he may not actually be contactable / accessible) and we perhaps borrow concepts from a movie or a book / magazine. Sometimes ideas even come from the bloke down the street, or that older teenager as a role model, but we dare not talk openly with him or even indicate we would want to. Men are so scary! Our 21st century heroes, sportsman or politicians? Not that there is anything wrong with sport, but how many have actually played the game and to what level and to what extent do they appreciate the sport for the sport, (but I drift into a possible failed sports hero blog.) And as for politics, next to oncology- what other field of work has a less than 37% success rate? Antiquated industries involving large capital investment die so slowly.

And we then wonder why there are so many psychologically /spiritually crippled males ghosting about, miscommunicating, killing one and other, killing their partners, their children. Physically and psychosomatically killing themselves, poorly running or attempting to run these societies, trying to run to control something, anything, and destroying our home, our planet in the process. And now off into our solar system.

As good men, what can we do?

Start a revolution?! Perhaps? Perhaps without women, but importantly not to exclude women, not to exclude anyone.

A woman can stand alongside me - but cannot do it for me – she can march beside me in the crusade but cannot define it – she can work hard to keep an open dialogue - and speak with passion from her multiple perspectives - but cannot write the manifesto - only contribute from her own perspectives, writings, poems and contemplations.........she can work hard to battle those men and women who work to undermine men. (Men's confraternity!?) But she cannot and will not 'take over', to see the shades of grey and to maintain an open dialogue with all of us - we can only achieve this together.


In the words of others far more evolved than myself; ‘...there are no wrong feelings, there are however wrong actions...’

Likewise I am gravely concerned about violence - its escalation, its intrusion and impact - its victims and the need to work hard with perpetrators (as well as to fight for the need for banishment for those who will not / cannot change) I encourage passion - for my inherent wanderings in the complexity of injustice (for those that have sons also) for this combined with internal reflection and self awareness (as well as the awareness to painfully change) is freedom to me. Hence, I must respond and not merely react. Obviously easier said than done as my crashed life has proved before.

I feel and experience this issue of men treating women poorly, treating other men poorly, treating anything in this life poorly. I hear and participate in conversations as to "Why do we let men treat us this way?" With just as much confusion and/or conviction, "Why do we let women treat us this way?" The answer I believe is we (men and women) slip into a type of fundamental complacency or laziness. We let it slip ever so slightly then as if overnight, too much; we forget or neglect our boundaries. We mesh and lose our independence. It's an all too easy compartmentalising way of labelling / pigeon-holing so as to simply move forward at a faster pace. This is in reality I think is lackadaisically negative. I think if the truth be known, probably every single person on this planet has at least one deep secret that (if you knew) would probably break your heart. And if we could just remember this, there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance,

but alas, we are but human.

Yes and before you retort with all of your wisdom, your womanly (or other) ways, your evolved perspective, your purest of love - my ruminations (I know too well) are flawed and filled with holes larger than a multiverse, but I’m changing (I actually always have but to a greater degree been unconscious of the fact). My heart has been in your hands since we met. Please be careful with it, I’m trying to be careful with yours.

xo

NB: Grace and the capacity of serendipity or am I wanting to be some sort of weird god-like creature???

Grace is an interesting word.

I have found that my dreams are but one form or way in which the gifts of grace are given to me. The same paradoxical approach is one I employ toward all other forms; sudden insights, premonitions and a whole host of synchronistic, serendipitous events.

And to all love, above all - love

zelen

[back-and-totheleft]

Nora

I'm not here to talk about JFK, per se, but about what it is like to have written a movie based on something that happened. Eight years ago Alice Arlen and I wrote the screenplay for Silkwood. It was a carefully annotated script, meticulously researched, and we kept scrupulously to what we determined were the key historical facts of the case. In Karen Silkwood, we wrote a character who was considerably closer to whoever Karen Silkwood was than the person who had been written about in journalistic accounts, most of which had tended to whitewash Karen and gloss over certain less-than-perfect aspects of her character. In fact, what drew Alice and me to Karen Silkwood's story were the less-than-perfect aspects, and what we tried to write was not a movie about a heroic woman who did something heroic, but rather the story of a complicated, interesting, flawed woman who quite unexpectedly did something heroic.

We were extremely proud of the job we did and of the movie Mike Nichols made from it, and we were completely unprepared for what happened when it came out, which was, first, an article in the Arts & Leisure section of The New York Times, which focused completely on comparing the facts in the movie to the facts of the Silkwood case. And then, a couple of weeks later, in the tradition you have now grown used to, a New York Times editorial denouncing the movie as a docudrama.

A docudrama, in case you don't know, is a movie The New York Times disagrees with the politics of. [Laughter] [Applause] But the point I'm trying to make here is that it doesn't matter whether you are good little girls like me and Alice, or big bad boys like Oliver Stone, The New York Times is going to pound you into the ground.

They won't bother, of course, if your movie is Out of Africa or Goodfellas or The Pride of the Yankees or Bugsy or The Glenn Miller Story or Lawrence of Arabia, to name just a few of the wonderful movies that have done what any movie based on something that actually happened must do: which is, to impose a narrative. So no one really objects that Dennis Finch-Haddon didn't really see Isaak Dinesen on a train on her way to Africa, or that Tommy DeSimone was actually very tall, or that Mrs. Lou Gehrig looked nothing whatsoever like Theresa Wright. These things don't matter, because they don't matter.

For something to matter it must be political, or more important, ambiguous, deliciously ambiguous, unresolved, mythic. The very thing that attracts a filmmaker to a project is the thing that guarantees his life will be hell once he makes it. Because suddenly, the filmmaker has ventured onto forbidden turf, and on this turf is a big sign that says, "Keep Off the Grass."

In the case of JFK, the attack is that much worse because the press is one of the reasons why we still don't know what happened in Dallas. And whenever you write something that implies that the press has not done its job, you get into trouble with the press because you mortify them. Incidentally, this happens with books, too, not just with movies. It happened with All the President's Men and The Final Days, to name two books that were mortifying to the press. And I would suggest that the recent gang rape of Robert Caro on the grounds that he was wrong about Coke Stevenson was actually inspired by the mortification he caused the press earlier by discovering things about Lyndon Johnson, particularly about the source of his fortune, that had lain around undiscovered by the press for years.

But let's get back to movies. You venture onto the grass, but no one says, "Keep off the grass." That would give the game away. What the press says, as a rule, is not that they mind your being on the grass but they object to your methodology. What they say is that they have no problem with your making a movie of this sort as long as you stick to the facts. The facts. I mean, this is a comical notion because it implies that having the facts correct means that the story you tell is correct, and we all know the number of times we have read things that were correct on the facts, but just plain wrong.

In the case of JFK, the most commonly objected to of Oliver Stone's methods was the combining of documentary footage with film footage. But the truth is that Stone could have done without all that. And in addition, he could have changed Garrison into the flawed human being he actually was. And why didn't you, Oliver? [Laughter] Oh, never mind. The point is, you could do any number of things and the press will still find something to object to. They will point to a silver fork that was actually stainless steel, or a breakfast that was actually dinner, or some character you have made a composite of, or some events you have telescoped: something that proves that you have got it completely wrong. And they will fall on this like a fumbled football, and wave it in the air to show that you have distorted the truth.

And all of this is nonsense, that's what I'm trying to say, because what the press is truly objecting to is not your techniques, but that you're there at all, that you have a political agenda, and-- and this is the most important part-- that you are imposing a narrative, that you are telling a story.

Now it is a writer's obligation to impose a narrative. Every time you take a lump of material and turn it into something, you are imposing a narrative. It is a writer's obligation to do this, and by the same token, it is apparently a journalist's obligation to pretend that he never does anything of the sort. The journalist claims to believe that the narrative "emerges" by itself from the lump of material, rises up and smacks you in the face like marsh gas. [Laughter]

A couple of years after Silkwood was attacked in The New York Times, I found myself at the New York Bar Association on a program on docudramas with Max Frankel of The New York Times. Frankel was at the time the editorial page director of the Times; he's now the editor of the paper. And I want to tell you what he said when it was his turn to speak.

He said that he was wearing a tie, which he was, and he held his tie up for all of us to see. He said that he had put the tie on that morning, and that it had special meaning for him, it was a gift of enormous sentimental value. He went on at some length about the tie, although never being much more specific than that. So we never did find out what was so special about the tie, or who gave it to him, and I don't even remember what it looked like. And when I called him about this a couple of days ago, he not only didn't remember what it looked like, either, but he didn't even remember the story although he did say that it sounds like the sort of thing he might have said, which I assure you he did.

Anyway, here's what he went on to say: He said that if you were making a movie about that evening at the New York Bar Association, and you put an actor into the movie playing him, and wearing an identical tie it would not be the truth, because you would have no way of knowing what that tie meant to him. [Laughter] Now I love this story. I love it because it's so honest, and it's right out there. Max Frankel honestly believes there's only one version of the story, and it's his. But I just told you my version and I promise you, it's just as good. [Laughter]

I said to him that night, "You mean we can't even make Dr. Ehrlich's Magic Bullet?" And he said, "That's right." He was quite cheerful about it.

The other day, when I called to check the story with him, by the way, he continued in his merry way by ending the phone call with me by saying, "And congratulations on your recent success in fiction." Fiction, nonfiction; is that all there is? Or to put it in a completely opposite way, as Edgar Doctorow did in an essay a few years back, quote, "I am led to the proposition that there is no fiction or nonfiction as we commonly understand the distinction. There is only narrative."

Edgar Doctorow brings me to another story. Years ago he wrote a novel called The Book of Daniel, which happens to be a masterpiece. It is a novel that was clearly inspired by the historical fact and ongoing myth of the Rosenberg case. I always feel that someone should mention the Rosenbergs at any event sponsored by The Nation in Town Hall. [Applause] It was very clearly not a nonfiction book about the Rosenbergs; it was very clearly an improvisation, a novel inspired by that case. The characters in the book are named the Isaacsons, and when the book was published it received splendid reviews.

Some years later, Sidney Lumet made a movie based on the book called Daniel, and when The New York Times Arts & Leisure section put out its hit on the movie, an article that it will not surprise you to hear compared the events in the movie to the facts of the Rosenberg case, it actually said in the Times that Mandy Potemkin was playing the part of Julius Rosenberg. So here we have the case of a writer who removed something very deliberately from historical fact, who never pretended to be telling the story of the Rosenbergs, but they nailed him for it anyway.

Having said all this, let me speak to the topic as I understand it, which is what the obligations of film are to history. As someone who is trained as a journalist, I have strong feelings about this that I suspect are slightly more rigid than most screenwriters. I believe that you have to hit the marks, whatever the marks are. The marks differ from project to project and there's no way to make a simple rule about what they are. But in the case of Silkwood, as I explained, one of the primary marks was Karen's character, which we believed we had a moral obligation to convey, warts and all.

There were, in addition, a number of episodes that it seemed to us had to be conveyed with as little dramatic license as possible. When we got to areas where it was not known what happened, like when Karen Silkwood's urine sample was contaminated with radiation, we did not depict anything in connection with that episode that wasn't known at the time. At the same time, we did compress things, made up the characters of the people Karen worked with, etcetera. We made a movie that was our version of what had happened. What we believed was that we had written something that conveyed, not necessarily the truth, but what it was like, sort of, maybe. And what it was like in a way that ordinary journalism couldn't come close to.

It was clear to me when I saw JFK that I was seeing Oliver Stone's version of the story, and I didn't object to it any more than I object to the 601 books that have been written about the assassination. One of the problems with the movie JFK is that it is more ambiguous and brilliant than its defenders, but that shouldn't be held against the movie which, in its own way, is not just a wild and wacky look at the assassination, but manages to convey 30 years of Kennedy assassination madness and recapitulate it in a way that seems to me practically ontological. I hope I'm using that word correctly, but I'm probably not.

What intensifies this even further was Oliver Stone's splendid performance as himself, a performance that was -- I'm completely serious -- inspirational to those of us who were bewildered and cowering in the same circumstances. Unfortunately, though, there are very few directors who want to make a movie, and then spend four to six months after it with Ted Koppel. [Laughter] On the contrary, most directors who will look at a similar sort of movie will say to themselves, "Life is too short."

There are people who say that movies have a special obligation in this area, that for instance, young people will see JFK and think that the Joint Chiefs of Staff killed President Kennedy. But I don't know why they are going to think this any more than I do. And what if they do? [Laughter] [Applause] Eventually they will grow up and figure it out for themselves, or else they won't. It's not the issue, and it is not the filmmaker's responsibility.

The real danger is not that we might have an inaccurate movie-- which, by the way, never hurt anyone-- the real danger is that the wholesale, knee-jerk objection to movies based on things that happened might result in something far worse, which is a chilling effect on the creation of works of art. Thank you.

-Nora Ephron’s brilliant defense of historical films and JFK in particular at the “Hollywood & History: The Debate Over JFK” panel, sponsored by The Nation Institute and the Center for American Culture Studies at Columbia University, March 3 1992 [x]

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