#Atsushi joins the Sheep

[starlightshadowsworld]

Moonlit blues

Based on my post about Chuuya meeting Atsushi as a kid, both them being apart of the Sheep until Chuuya left to join the Mafia.

Thinking Atsushi had been killed.

Dazai grinned bouncing into Chuuya's apartment "Heeey Chuuuuyyya~!" What can he say, he was bored and Chuuya was good for free entertainment.

"Go away asshole!"

That made Dazai pause, the wording was normal but the delivery was off. Not to mention that Chuuya's voice was hoarse.

Like he'd been crying.

Following his voice to his room, Dazai looked at the sight before him. The lights were off, the moon enveloping the room in a bright glow.

Chuuya had his back to him, facing the window.

There was a bottle of wine in his hand, his hat was on his bedside and was holding what looked like a picture frame in his other hand.

"Chuuya?" Dazai frowns, he's never seen Chuuya look so... Vulnerable.

Even when the other was being interrogated by Mori and imobolised by cubes, he had been as cocky and sharp as ever.

Now? Now he looked so fragile that Dazai was afraid a gust of wind could shatter him.

"I said go away!" Choked up Chuuya, turning to face him. Dazai had seen Chuuya's face turn red on many occasion.

He was easy to fluster and anger, Chuuya wore his emotions on his sleeve more often than not.

But Dazai had never seen him cry.

He decided he hated it, hated seeing Chuuya look so hurt and upset.

Gently, Dazai reached out and brushed his tears with his thumb. Looking his partner in the eye "who did this to you?" He didn't care who, he'd kill them a thousand times.

Chuuya let out a mix of a chuckle and a sob.

"It's my fault."

Dazai highly doubted that but let him talk. Sitting beside him as he did so. Chuuya took a deep breathe, trying to compose himself.

"Do you remember the day we met?" Dazai nodded, he would remember that day for the rest of his life. "I was with the Sheep, and they were like family to me.

They took me in when I had nothing... But their was someone there who was like, no he was my little brother."

Chuuya paused, drinking some of his wine before carrying on. "He was 9 when I met him, skinny little shrimp." It said a lot about the situation that Dazai didn't tease him for calling someone else a shrimp.

"He stole my lunch, didn't even realise it at first." Snorted Chuuya, amusement in his eyes that danced with greif. "Must've been terrified when he realised." Said Dazai.

Chuuya nodded "oh yeah, he said sorry so many times until I split it with him. From there we were best friends."

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "Got him into the Sheep so I could protect him." Chuuya looks down at the photo "lotta good that did" he mumbles.

Dazai squeezed his shoulder in comfort and Chuuya rested his head against his shoulder. "I don't regret joining the Port Mafia" the I unsaid 'I don't regret meeting you' hung in the air between them.

"But" coaxed Dazai.

"But, because of it they killed him." Finished Chuuya, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks.

Dazai often questioned whether he had a heart. He almost wished he didn't because watching Chuuya's break, made his shatter.

This kid had meant a lot to him, still did.

Part of him wanted to ask, to know more about the kid and what had happened. To get every last piece of information about him.

The rest of him pushed that aside and held his partner in his arms.

All that mattered to Dazai right now was Chuuya.

"The moon, reminds me of him so...." Says Chuuya quietly, looking at the moon and to the photograph that he showed Dazai.

Dazai looked at it, seeing a boy with snow white hair and a single black streak. His eyes were bright yellow and purple.

The boys clothes were ones Dazai knew at once had belonged to Chuuya, hanging off his slender frame.

But what truly got his attention was his smile that was nothing but warm and kind.

"Funny thing is... He protected me just as much I took care of him." Said Chuuya softly, "

Dazai could see that. He sent a promise to the skies, hoping it reached the boy wherever he was.

So that he could rest easy knowing Chuuya was being taken care of.

Chuuya met his gaza like he'd read his mind, rolling his eyes fondly.

"If you really wanna thank him, use his name. It's Atsushi, Atsushi Nakajima."

Dazai grinned, pretending to write it down and delighting at the snort he got in response.

Rest easy Atsushi Nakajima, I've got him from here.

And that would be their tradition, to spend the full moon together so that Chuuya didn't have to deal with it alone.

Unfortunately, Atsushi never got the message. Because unknown to both he was very much alive.

[batshikns]

skool sketch dump. k.

[flowers-of-buffoonery]

there's something to be said about the way soukoku act around each other normally – about the endless childish banter that has been accompanying them from when they were 15 to the present day.

dazai and chuuya met when they were teenagers; they started off on two opposing sides, then chuuya was made to join the mafia, to partner with a boy he detested (and reasonably so). a lot has been said about the fact that soukoku are, for each other, the only way of experiencing the childhood and teenagehood they never got to have – not in the mafia, not in the sheep. they hated each other, were forced to work together by both circumstances and mori, and instead of seriously trying to kill each other they just... started insulting each other. and they never stopped.

here's the thing. 15yo dazai and chuuya, being insufferable to each other, is standard teenager behaviour. we're glad for it. go soukoku!

22yo dazai and chuuya, still being insufferable to each other... now, that's different.

part of it is, of course, that they genuinely find each other irritating – that much has not changed. and for chuuya, who's still in the mafia and has responsibilities and hordes of subordinates, dazai is likely the only person he can behave like that with. that much hasn't changed.

dazai, though. we see him acting like a downright brat with most members of the ADA – chief among them kunikida (much could be said about dazai attempting to replicate the dynamic he had with his ex-partner with his new partner. a post for another time). the reactions he gets range depending on the person. most members act as if nothing is out of the norm or like they're indulging him; atsushi is puzzled but just goes with it; kunikida gets angry and starts lecturing him. but nobody matches him blow for blow – nobody jokes back, nobody trades insults with him as a peer.

chuuya, on the other hand, doesn't just let dazai be his bratty, insufferable self like the ADA does; he actively joins him, rises up to the challenge.

at 22, dazai and chuuya can still act like that exclusively around each other. it can be falling back on old habits. but also – isn't it a choice, at this point?

having someone you don't have to be deferent to, someone that doesn't need to be manipulated – someone you can get mad at without thinking of consequences. isn't it a relief, having someone you can just hate? to dazai and chuuya, their relationship must be the easiest, most uncomplicated one they have.

I know you, and you know me. I don't have to be pleasant with you. let us not care, and be unpleasant together.

[valverii]

in which i try to chronologically order the events in this godforsaken au (see bottom of post for further details)

STATUS : last updated 04 | 02 | 2024

AU INTRODUCTION (one)

CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS (one--two--three--four—five)

DESIGN ANALYSIS (one--two)

origins (zero|features a flashback--one--two)

chuuya's part time job interlude (one--two--three|featured in 2nd half--four)

chuuya's entrance examination (one)

reaction to chuuya's ada status (one)

clearing chuuya’s name (one)

the sheep (one)

chuuango alliance (one)

atsushi joins the agency (one—two—three)

kouyou and chuuya | dazai and akutagwa interactions (one)

chuuya mentors atsushi (one--two--three--four)

dazai mentors akutagawa (one)

chuuran shenanagins (one--two--three)

atsushi meets akutagawa (one--two)

atsushi meets dazai (one)

corruption (one)

pm and ada alliance (one)

guild arc (zero—one—two—three—four)

chuuya gets a puppy (one)

dazai Also gets a puppy (one)

the ada chaos ensues (one—two—three)

fathers day special (one)

oda and the flags react (one)

chuuya deals with atsushi’s love life—unwillingly (one)

atsushi deals with chuuya’s love life—unwillingly (one)

the best dressed apprentice (one—two—three)

great bungo sleepover (one)

i tried to include and organize all the au posts as best as i could but there were some that didn't exactly fit but i was able to include the most plot relevant posts above (i’m gonna try to keep this list updated!!)

you can find some other scattered posts below!

500 follower post (one--two) | 1000 follower post (one--two) |

switch au meets canon!(one—two) | ability debate (one--two--three) |

air kiss! (one) | hug-bots-1000 (one—two) |

dazai's birthday (one) | chuuya's no good very bad day (one) | old friends (one)

AND FINALLY!! there have been so many talented people making fanworks for this au and i IMPLORE you all to go check them out and give them all the support, you can find me gushing over their works in the "#soukoku switch au" tag and "#val rb" tag!!

[rosalinesurvived]

Shirase giving Chuuya bread and water when Chuuya didn’t know what it was, even when the other Sheep were on edge

Fukuzawa paying for all those bowls of food for Ranpo after meeting him for the first time.

Oda and Dazai eating Oda’s favourite curry together

Dazai deciding to take Atsushi for food after meeting him on the streets. Kunikida paying for all those bowls though he didn’t want to

Kunikida stating that he’ll cook Dazai healthy meals just to stop him from eating nothing but crab

The Agency all collectively making sure Ranpo has enough sweets and snacks

Atsushi buying crepes and tofu for Kyouka with his own money

The Agency throwing a party with tables full of food for Kyouka joining.

Beast!Atsushi being unable to buy Beast!Kyouka crepes because he has a panic attack

Beast!Akutagawa being given food by an old lady just because he looked too skinny

Beast!Oda taking Beast!Akutagawa for his favourite spicy curry

Beast!Atsushi and Beast!Akutagawa bonding together in the cafe over their drinks, their sugar cubes, their past poverty and lack of anything

[skkfujoshi]

As a girl I have some very specific opinions about Fem SKK,SSKK and Fukumori and now it’s your problem too

Dazai🐟🩹

-Dazai wears grandma looking loafers.They are ugly as sin and everyone has told her as much but they are easy to slip out of so everyone can keep their opinions to their damn selves as far as she’s concerned.

-In the mafia she had very long hair.Couldn’t be bothered to cut it.So Mori would tie it up in one those half up half down hairstyles with some ribbons(mostly black ones)

-Flat as a board.

-She tends to wear a lot of oversized clothes.Did so back in the PM still does so in the ADA.It’s just more comfy for her

-Mori use to put her in a lot of babydoll dresses.Dazai absolutely hated it.How is she suppose to intimidate the enemy when she looks like a haunted doll!?

-This stopped around the events of Stormbringer but her clothes still leaned a bit more fem with long pleated skirts and puffy blouses.

-She leans more masc now,having cut her hair once she left the PM.It’s more of a bob situation now.

-Fidget ring queen.She has so many rings it’s not even funny.

-Never wore make up in her life.

-Probably sleep in boxers with no bra on.

Chuuya🐌👒

-Grundge to office casual transition

-She use to wear sneakers now she wears high heeled boots.

-Every year she spends in the mafia the height of her heels increases.Kōyo taught her how to fight in heels and if she can’t show that off what is she even doing with her life?

-Will still dress grunge when just chilling and going for drinks though.Tank tops,Graphic tees,torn up jeans and hoodies.

-Will sometimes slip on her old Sheep bracelet when going out.

-On the job it is suits with flared pants galore though.If you have money use it on quality.

-Has a lot of different chokers actually,let’s Akutagawa borrow them on occasion.

-Not a lipstick girly,but huge eyeliner fan.

-Messy bun and ponytails are still her go to.Besides the hat will probably cover up the messy part.

-Has abs.

-Awful period cramps.She is miserable and cannot deal with it.

❤️💙Fem SKK Hc’s❤️💙

-Buy one another pads.

-Chuuya misses Dazai’s long hair.

-Chuuya still mostly wears the black choker Dazai got her.

-Dazai’s definitely shaved Chuuya’s legs at some point and royally fucked it up the first time it happened.

-Dazai loves when Chuuya steals her clothes.

-Chuuya has tried teaching Dazai to walk in heels to persistent failure.

Atsushi🐯🌙

-She definitely got ear piercings once she joined the ADA

-Tomboy,not because she hates dresses but because all boys and girls in the orphanage were put in the same clothes,so to her it makes no difference.

-Hair clip collection.

-Regular nail biter.

-Once again,abs.

-Long eyelashes.

-Her hair is so badly damaged it’s not even funny.

-Scraped knees at all times.

-Mismatched bras and underwear is a regular occurrence.

-The agency got her a bracelet with a small moon charm as thanks for saving the city from the Guild.She rarely takes it off.

Akutagawa👿😒

-Blacks lipstick,eyeliner and eyeshadow.Full routine.

-Needs period meds due to her condition.Any loss of blood could be a big problem.

-Has a huge collection of ankle boots.Some are hand me down from Chuuya,but most of em she got on her own money. -The rest of her wardrobe is very victorian in aesthetic though.Not full on,but flowy,long sleeved,to her ankle dresses are pretty common in her wardrobe.

-She sometimes wears corsets,but only when she’s feeling fancy.

-Big tiddy goth gf.

-Her hair is quite short,to her shoulders, and she usually puts it up into a braided bun and tuck some hair pins in.

-Big locket fan and she actually has one with a picture of her and Gin in it that she wears under her clothes.

🤍🖤Fem SSKK Hc’s🖤🤍

-Akutagawa and Atsushi don’t smooch often.Akutagawa left behind evidence the first time,black lipstick marks were all over Atsushi’s face and Akutagawa was so embarrassed that she couldn’t look either Chuuya or Dazai in the eye for weeks.To be fair Atsushi couldn’t either. -Atsushi will rest on Akutagawa’s chest and bury her face into it after…activities

-Akutagawa has bought her girlfriend an egregious amount of hair product to try fixing whatever damage happened to her hair.

-She also bought Atsushi a little neck ribbon with a small tag on it.Dazai read it and lauged her ass off.She didn’t tell Atsushi why.

-Atsushi does Akutagawa’s make up and she’s actually surprisingly decent at it.

Mori💉🔪

-Long hair that goes all the way down her back.

-Long pointy red nails.

-Very body fitting clothes.

-Short skirts and her blouses are halfway undone.

-Leg garters to keep knives.

-Sickeningly sweet perfume.

-Dies her gray hairs.

-Has a lot of drop pearl earrings and statements necklaces.

-Hates strappy heels,they leave marks on her feet.

-Thin lips.

-Has a way too long skin care routine.

Fukuzawa 🦊🗡️

-Say it with me people,A-B-S.

-Has a lot of handmade bracelets from her various kids(Kenji was the most recent and biggest contributor).She can’t wear them all at once,so she wears a different one every day.

-Constantly fiddles with her hair troughout the day,so her hair ties are mostly on her wrist and not seeing any use.

-Split ends.

-A lot of loose pants and kimono style shirts.

-She has a small bell bracelet to attract nearby cats.It hasn’t worked.

💜💚Fem Fukumori HC’s💚💜

Mori has begged Fukuzawa to get nicer under things,but Fukuzawa has refused.Mori thinks it’s unfair that she comes dressed in really nice lacy lingerie where as Fukuzawa is in the same sports bra from three days ago.

Mori used to braid Fukuzawa’s hair and Fukuzawa hasn’t worn a braid since they split.

Fukuzawa actually really likes the smell of Mori’s perfume but she’ll never admit it.

Mori has forbidden Fukuzawa to leave hickeys on her since her clothes won’t cover it up and there is no way she’s compromising an aesthetic.

Fukuzawa is convinced Mori has more scalpels on her every time they hook up.She can’t prove it,but she feels it.

[lnkedmyheart]

See, I have no doubt that Chuuya has found people he cares about and who care about him in the mafia. And the guy is definitely doing well for himself. But why do people act like Chuuya is super great psychologically in the mafia? Why is the angst of being in the mafia extended to literally everyone BUT him?

Koyou tried to leave and stayed back after her partner was murdered. Dazai was depressed and spiralling and left when his friend died, Akutagawa was forced into the mafia to protect himself and his sister and is now dealing with the trauma of Dazai's mistreatment. Kyoka was a child who was forced to kill at 14 and left because she met Atsushi. Even Mori didnt take on the role of the leader cause he wanted to but because he needed to so that he could fix the damage caused to the city and the organization by the last boss and is now deeply isolated. So why do people act like Chuuya isn't in a bad situation?

Chuuya is literally the character that makes the best out of a bad situation. He clearly did not want to join the mafia in 15 and did not want to stay with the mafia in sb. But where the hell is he supposed to go? He has the closest thing to a family and loved ones in the mafia, he is loyal to a fault, he is tied to the mafia by his connection to the flags who wanted him to be the future leader, his ticket out was murdered by his self proclaimed brother, he is dead to his real family, he is a dangerous government experiment who will most likely be captured and imprisoned if he lost the mafia's protection, the death of his men constantly weighs down on him. He was forced to kill to protect the sheep and he was forced to kill to survive in the mafia. So the guy enjoys his job cause that's literally all he has ever known. But we out here acting like he is the only one who wasn't negatively affected by the mafia??

Bro is just mad skilled at compartmentalizing and tossing away the key and at some point the doors will not be able to keep that trauma in.

Ofcourse i am not gonna sit here and insist he hates it there because that is his family and those are his people and he has always been a boisterous kid who enjoys a good fight as long as the people being maimed or killed are those who try to hurt people he cares about. But not once has Chuuya hated someone for coming after him specifically.

Chuuya's trauma isn't linked to Dazai leaving him behind, he has a lot of it in general. And i need something to happen. And i feel like him snapping would just be so cathartic.

[calmlb]

have some silly skk wedding hcs bc. idk i just wanted to yell w someone abt them

chuuya cries in sporadic bursts the day of but taken altogether it's like 3 hrs of hysterical sobbing

dazai doesn't cry at all because he slips into like a shocked fugue state the second he sees chuuya but he DOES bawl like a baby the next morning

nobody who attended remembers past like hour 4 of the wedding and six months later they're still uncovering some of the wild shit they did during the afterparty. this is because the wedding staff accidentally became part of the celebration and the photographer, who was supposed to record the whole thing, ended up sleeping with one of the cast. it was kunikida.

just to be obnoxious ranpo proposes to poe and chuuya has to be held back by a crying w laughter dazai from Physically Attacking Him

dazai insists on having a bouquet to throw, which he purposefully angles for akutagawa to catch. atsushi faints, lucy's face progresses from angry -> considering in real time (they r a throuple real)

chuuya picks his best man/maid of honor fairly easily (hirotsu and kouyou duh) but dazai basically told the ada to figure it out amongst themselves and come back to him with their decisions (he's lazy/genuinely didn't know who to pick and wanted to outsource) and there was Actual Violence

lots of drama over whether or not to invite mori and verlaine. turns out to be a nonissue bc all verlaine does is cry in a corner about a) rimbaud and b) holy shit my little brother is getting married and after hour 6 mori and fukuzawa disappear from the event (neither they nor anyone else remembers this. very lucky)

ango receives an invitation with no context and has like 3 mental breakdowns about what this means for his and dazai's relationship

7 hours in (it was a long party) kenji's cow somehow shows up (he swears up and down it wasn't him, everyone's very confused the next morning)

it was a sunset wedding, dazai wore white and chuuya wore blue

adam and shirase and some other members of the sheep are there. adam makes fast friends with kyouka, meanwhile the former sheep are very narrowly spared dazai's wrath, mostly bc he keeps forgetting they're even there. it's a big wedding

tachihara tried to drunkenly breakdance, gin laughed so hard she thought she got heart palpitations and was afraid for her life. she went to look for mori and walked in on him and fukuzawa. none of them remember this but now gin feels a vague sense of horror every time she looks at her boss and she's not really sure why

yosano tries rizzing kouyou up and fails by any normal metric (yosano: please please please please please please please please please please) but kouyou is Tipsy and Charmed

dazai does indeed burn the marriage certificate (TRY RETURNING ME WITHOUT A RECEIPT, CHIBI!!). chuuya is so in love he starts crying again

higuchi and tanizaki had philosophical discussions about life on the rooftop and accidentally solved the secrets of the universe. they do not remember this

kunikida returns from his steamy rendezvous with the photographer and immediately sets his sights on ango. drunk kunikida knows what he wants (twinkish men) and when he wants them (now). there is a reason one of the most important ideals in his notebook is to Not Drink

the guild is there and are generally having a good time until fitzgerald sees tsujimura (only there as ango's plus-one, got abandoned bc of drunk kunikida's machinations) and calls her a blue-haired liberal, and hey, what's a party without a brawl in the middle of the dance floor

between the guild and the wedding staff half the people at the party weren't even invited. which is why the doa and hunting dogs are also there

kenji, kyouka, q, elise, and aya are having a Kids' Party in a separate room with adam as an extremely enthusiastic babysitter (well, more like occasional check-in-er, he's swinging back and forth between the parties). tecchou joins them after a while and has a great time, as all except aya are extremely fascinated by his unholy food combinations

bram and lovecraft kickstart their enemies-to-lovers arc the second they set eyes on each other

fyodor, dazai, kajii, and nikolai start up a game of Knife Monopoly, to everyone's surprise the extremely determined caterer sweeps them all. sigma is smitten at once and immediately starts to flirt with her (the caterer is a milf who is seduced by sigma's transgender rizz, sigma will eventually have an entire 'convincing the stepkids' family movie arc)

teruko FUCKS IT UP on the dance floor, haruno is so impressed she immediately falls into her first disastrous sapphic crush

hirotsu and natsume mutually agree to restart their homoerotic situationship without ever even actually saying two words to each other, someone has to take skk's place now that they've more or less gotten their shit together

katai wasn't there physically but was supervising through security cameras. he's the only one who will ever know everything that happened that night and deleted the footage due to trauma :( sorry katai

tsujimura and mushitarou bond over how desperately they Do Not Want To Be There

skk Try to have a romantic wedding night(/morning, given how long the afterparty stretched) but they are both too drunk, chuuya trips and falls flat on his face and dazai laughs so hard he throws up

omg i started yapping and then i just didn't stop. i didn't even know i had this many thoughts in my head. i am sending this before i can regret it feel free to delete if u want to

anon. THESE ARE SO GOOD OMG???? i could literally visualize a whole fic just by reading these hcs

adding my comments under the cut so it doesn’t get too long 🫣

ok first of all… the skk crying hcs??? CANON OMG im so obsessed

Ranpo turning skk’s wedding into his engagement party is so true of him. he absolutely would

Dazai totally would insist on a bouquet to toss, & him throwing it at to Akutagawa is so funny 😭

SOMEONE SAVE ANGO PLS-

KENJI’S COW IM SOBBING it reminds me of that wan episode where Atsushi asks Dazai what Yosano needed & he was like “… a cow!” boba eyes & everything

i had never thought of Adam & Kyouka being buddies but my life is changed now tysm for this revelation

NOT GIN BEING SCARRED BY ZENKU SKK 💀 someone get my girl outta there

ok but tipsy + charmed Kouyou is a vision

Chuuya tells Dazai that burning the marriage certificate means they’re not married anymore & that’s when Dazai finally breaks down into tears

ok Higuchi & Tanizaki is another duo i never considered and i LOVE IT???

KUNIANGO SO TRUE

TSUJIMURA A BLUE HAIRED LIBERAL I AM SCREAMING

omg i love the kids party & skk are both good with kids so they definitely would make sure the kids are taken care of 🥹 Adam would be such a good babysitter, and Tetchou too??? omg giving me fic ideas with this one

super invested in this caterer x Sigma arc tbh

ykw i was thinking abt bsd rarepairs the other day & couldn’t figure out who to ship Teruko or Haruno with… should’ve thought of this honestly

SOMEONE SAVE KATAI TOO OMG THAT POOR MAN-

now that you mention it… i actually love the idea of Tsujimura & Mushitaro but i think it’s mostly bc her hair matches his suit PFFT

skk’s ideal honeymoon = SLEEP 😫

i’m so glad you didn’t stop yapping non, this was so wonderful tysm i feel blessed 🥹🩷 please feel free to yell abt hcs or say hi anytime!! 🫶🏻💕💕

[tiredlilguy]

I’m writing from my phone because I have carpel tunnel and my hands hurt. Take these randomly assorted BSD hc’s:

(possible SB spoilers, but just the characters)

- Albatross has every piercing under the sun: like he’s got a nose ring, eyebrow piercing, snakebites… anything u can think of

- Oda wears rings 🤤, plays with them when he gets anxious (he’s also my husband)

- Chuuya is a summer child (born in the summer), so he love it when it’s hot af outside and drags his friends outside to go eat lunch with him or smth (HES HUMAN IN MY HEART STFU, I DONT WANNA HEAR IT RN)

- opposite to Chuuya, Dazai is a winter baby, but he also hates the cold

- sometimes Adam sends Chuuya random incriminated texts on his phone. It’s usually just something silly like “Hello! I hope you’re eating sugar and growing very healthy.” Or maybe a random fact like “Did you know that cows have a strong sense of smell? They can perceive smells at a distance of up to ten kilometres.” Chuuya will usually not respond back, but he scoffs and lets out a small laugh to himself before closing his phone

- Ango hates bugs, he will cry if he sees a spider sitting on his paperwork

- Oda and Ango when drunk are very enthusiastic and energetic. Oda will dance on the counter while pretending his glass is a mic. Ango will join him too- The only person that knows this side to them is Dazai

- animals love sigma for some reason. Like Disney princess style love sigma. Sigma however, hates that this happens to him, and actively avoids walking in forests or places where animals usually reside.

- Oda is a good dancer, like good… old style bar dancer. He’s quite impressive actually, and it’s attractive-

- Chuuya and Albatross both have heterochromia.

- Literally no one except for Chuuya has seen Albatross with his sunglasses off. That shit is basically glued to his face

- Verlaine is bougie as hell. Like I know he’s Mafia, but I think it’d be funny if he was… more bougie than like everyone else in the Mafia. Like he actively buys and wears expensive shit.

- Verlaine has a good hair routine.

- Doc may or may not have a plushie collection. And they may or may not all be sea animals

- Kunikida seems like he’d have an emo phase. Idk why… I just think he would.

- Despite only using one bar of soap for showering, Atsushi actually smells really nice for some reason (he smells like lavender)

- lippman is a swiftie, doc is a barb (I discussed this with one of my moots and now I can’t stop thinking about it)

- since it’s hinted is SB that Lippman would still make ppl fold at him wearing feminine clothes, I hc that he does not rly give a shit about gender or what one should/should not wear

- Chuuya has taken this tip from Lippman and has worn skirts before with his outfits

- the real reason why akutagawa dislikes mandarins (that’s canon btw) is because one time he was offered one to eat and as he was peeling it the mandarin juice got in his eye and he chopped it up into bits out of anger

- Chuuya only ate bread and soup when he was in the Sheep, since then Kouyou has introduced him to the finer foods in life, and Albatross introduced him to junk food

- Dazai used Chuuya’s shower when he was in the Mafia because he didn’t have a shower in that old ass storage container

- Oda does not pay for haircuts. He cuts his own hair, and one time he was too busy so he had to tie it up in a low pony

- Kunikida likes things that are weighted (weighted blankets, etc)

- Oda’s a little bit tanned because of jobs that have to do with being outside in the sun for long periods of time

Ok that’s all. Enjoy. I should make an Odasaku hc list because he is my absolute favorite character (next to the flags). Let me know if u want a specific bsd character hc. I will write it >:3 (also please tell me ur hc’s too. I love hc’s) I’m gonna eat lunch now.

[youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff]

Fem soukoku AU where kouyou left the port mafia because she decided that she couldn't let the death of her lover be in vain and made another escape attempt who succeded this time, she then run an okiya or a bothrel.

Her business is in a neutral zone, it make business with both the light and dark side, for this reason it's perfect for spying and information exchange.

She either found chuuya when she was eight or at fifteen when she was betrayed by the sheep but either way like she was to kyouka in canon she's controling and emotionally manipulative, kouyou see chuuya as her little sister and is overprotective, she know how valuable she is and well like they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions .

Chuuya is the hightest rated courtisans in the ozaki's house and still have an history with dazai.

( kouyou doesn't like that she's aware of her danger, think of her as a bad influence and a part of her fear that she'll take chuuya away from her but they're nothing that she can do , lest she want for chuuya's to actract mori attention if he notice how much it make her unconfortable).

Dazai was an eccentric client and they mostly played game together and when she left the port mafia she became chuuya's roommate when she was in hiding which chuuya hide from kouyou.

One of the things that made chuuya's the hightest rated courtisans is the rules that she have and that is one of the few things that dazai ( because of possessiveness) and kouyou ( because of her overprotectiveness) agree on , is that she never sleep with any clients.

Kouyou still find kyouka and she's chuuya's apprentice/little sister.

The agency meet chuuya when they needed informations for a case that even katai couldn't help them with and dazai lead them to chuuya, she also help them with her ability when they need her help like with Lovecraft to kouyou disaproval ( who disaproved even more when kyouka joined the ADA after befriending atsushi but she want to make sure that her mackerel is alive and well) .

Chuuya get along well with all the member of the agency and dazai want her to join the agency which is a new reason for her passive agressive conflict with kouyou.

[asagirisfavoritepen]

Chuuya is a fallen angel

Dazai is a redeemed demon

I won't elaborate.

Jk, I gotta rant. So listen here.

We've seen Chuuya. He's so protective and loyal. Look how he acted around the Flags and Adam. He canonically cares about all of his subordinates. He's just good. But. But after all he's been through (the lab, the Sheep, the mafia) fights are something that bring him adrenaline, even dopamine. He likes fighting and he definitely enjoys killing (maybe just a bit). He was more than willing to kill Q, a literal child, because the kid caused his subordinates to get killed. But it's the same person that sacrificed himself so his friends that betrayed him would be safe. It's the same person that was willing to die to save Yokohama. He's a fallen angel.

And we've seen Dazai. How he abused Akutagawa. How he enjoyed torturing people, physically or psychologically. How he manipulates people for his own benefit, how he uses and treats everyone as mere puppets. How he killed people and enjoyed it. But he grew and became kind. He joined the Agency and saved lives. Stopped killing. His "tortures" had become annoying pranks pulled on his co-workers. He took care of Atsushi, he protects Yokohama. He's a redeemed demon.

Also, happy pride month to everyone! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[starlightshadowsworld]

Atsushi joins the Sheep

Atsushi running away from the Orphanage at 9 years old, knowing about his ability.

Trying to get as far from the place as possible and ending up in Suribachi City.

Atsushi manages to lay low for a while, but one day he realises the food he just stole was from 13 year old Chuuya Nakahara himself.

Whoops.

Chuuya is pissed because that my food damnit, and than amused and confused when he finally corners and sees the teeny theif.

Atsushi is just like I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm so sorry Mister Nakahara!

Chuuya sighs, tells him to chill out and splits the food with him.

Atsushi, poking his head out from his hands and carefully taking a piece before lighting up and eating it.

Chuuya will deny it later, but the kid is adorable.

They end up running into each other more, at one point Chuuya uses his ability and Atsushi with all the tact of a kid is like "you're a monster too?!"

Chuuya frowns, but notices that Atsushi isn't saying it as insult. Kid's looking at Chuuya in starry eyed awe.

Chuuya: Monster? Wait...lights up You have an ability too?!

Atsushi: excited, loud whisper I'm a tiger!

Chuuya: pauses That's not poss....thinks about Arahabaki you know what, why not.

They grow close and Chuuya asks if Atsushi can join the Sheep, as a way to give him some protection.

The Sheep are reluctant especially with Atsushi's young age but allow it once they find out he's got an ability.

Atsushi, ecstatic to have a family soon worms his way into everyone's hearts.

Though he stays at Chuuya's side, to the point people joke he's like Chuuya's guard dog.

This doesn't please everyone, because some of the Sheep are friendly but others see Chuuya as more of a weapon than human.

And that starts to include Atsushi.

Especially when the full moon comes and Atsushi transforms, Chuuya is able to get him somewhere where he can't harm anyone and stays by his side throughout his transformation.

Atsushi is afraid Chuuya will leave and Chuuya just hugs him close and says he never will.

Some of the Sheep, especially Shirase think of setting Atsushi onto their enemies during a full moon but don't voice those ideals.

Chuuya is very protective of him and the threat of his wrath keeps them quiet.

Atsushi is oblivious to all of this, he can sense somethings up but they all act kindly to him so he has no idea.

He learns to steal, learns to be stealthy and even control his ability better, though full moons are still eventful.

Each one Chuuya stays at his side.

2 years later, Port Mafia Executive Osamu Dazai comes a calling and Chuuya ends up going with him to learn about Arahabaki.

It's the first time Chuuya is away from Atsushi, not wanting him to get in danger nor for Dazai to learn about him.

After finding out about Chuuya's deal with Dazai and the Port Mafia, the Sheep turn on him.

They consider turning on Atsushi too because of his loyalty to Chuuya.

But learn Atsushi has no idea about what Chuuya's been up to and realise that they can use Atsushi against him.

Atsushi ends up being drugged so he can't interfere when they and the GSS attack Chuuya.

When Atsushi wakes up he's told he was drugged by the Port Mafia who were trying to kidnapp him.

Atsushi is told that Chuuya abandoned the Sheep to join the Mafia, which he doesn't believe at all but than sees footage from the arcade of Chuuya's deal with Dazai.

And is asked to decide if he will leave or stay.

Atsushi's heart shatteres because yes the Sheep were all like family too him but Chuuya was his big brother.

His big brother who promised he'd never leave him... And now he's gone.

For the first time in Atsushi's life he feels angry. Angry at Chuuya for leaving him, angry at Dazai and the Port Mafia for taking his big brother away.

But most of all he's angry at himself for not being able to protect his family, for not being enough for Chuuya to stay.

The Headmaster was right, Atsushi was never made to be loved.

He was a monster and Chuuya had finally realised that.

But he could protect those he had left....

Atsushi now 11 years old, makes his choice and kneels before Shirase, the new King of the Sheep

Elsewhere Chuuya kneels before Mori, head of the Port Mafia.

Atsushi: Then I dedicate my blood and all I am to you, your majesty.

Chuuya: I will protect this organisation that you work to support.

Atsushi: And I will work with you to decimate your enemies.

Chuuya: Our enemies will come to fear my crushing gravity.

Atsushi: That will crush those who oppose the Sheep.

Shirase: smirks because he's won Welcome to the Sheep, Atsushi Nakajima.

Mori: smiles Welcome to the Port Mafia, Chuuya Nakahara.

Chuuya doesn't go back for Atsushi because he was badly injured, and was lead to believe that when Shirase stabbed him that he'd already killed Atsushi.

Chuuya goes on but even at 22 he refuses to work on a full moon night. On those nights he spends alone grieving his little brother.

While Atsushi transforms alone, locked up and chained so he doesn't hurt anyone.

With no Chuuya to comfort him and none of the Sheep able to deal with his tranformed state.

Atsushi grows, he stays kind at his core but he's also bitter and cold. There was no one to sheild him when Chuuya left, and he had to learn fast.

He's ruthless in a way he never was, he's beloved by the Sheep but their King and many of its members see him as nothing but a weapon.

More beast than man.

That is how they both remain until years down the line when Chuuya drops his glass in shock during a meeting.

"Did you... Did you just say a tiger...?"

"Hm? Well yes there's been tale of a rampaging tiger in Yokohama.

It's believed to be the work of an ability user, quite a crafty one indeed there's a seven billion yen bounty on its head."

[zinder-fox]

find me there (and lead me back home)

Alright, I really should have been focusing on the next chapter for 'open my eyes to everything (there must be something more)', but @the-port-mafia tempted me too much this week talking about ChuuAtsu. So I gave in and decided to write up a one shot for the ship that had been kicking around my ideas list for a couple months now.

SUMMARY

Atsushi finds himself in Yokohama at 20 years old with only 4 years of memories of his captivity at the orphanage. He joins the Armed Detective Agency for lack of other options and when the Guild comes to Yokohama hunting the tiger, a twist of fate and instinct leaves Atsushi at the right time and place to remember where he came from... and who had been left behind. OR: A ChuuAtsu fic where Atsushi was also part of the research facility Chuuya came from and was originally part of the Sheep. Events broke them apart, but they were always meant to be together.

As they stumbled through the woods, Atsushi can only hope that his instinct is right. The truce with the Port Mafia against the Guild was the only thing he could think of to stop things from turning into a three-way war. But for them to ask for Dazai, and only Dazai, to help in a fight against the Guild in the dark, in the woods. Something inside him screamed that he needed to be there, too.

So here he is, following Dazai through the woods in the early evening after relentlessly insisting that he be allowed to come along. Dazai had protested, saying that Atsushi didn't need to be part of this mission. That if the Guild was after him, that he should stay behind and stay safe. That Atsushi shouldn't be subjected to whoever the mafia sends. Eventually, Ranpo interjected to announce that it would be for the best if Atsushi went along. After that, everyone treated it as a done deal.

I wish I could remember more of my past. I don't know if I should trust my instincts now, or if this is only leading me into more danger. If the battle is lost, the Guild will take me here and now. But I can't help thinking that I have to come.

(read more here)

[rainbowsalt0412]

Light Novels Masterlist

Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam:

Doppo Kunikida is an idealist and a straitlaced detective at the Armed Detective Agency, an organization that takes on dangerous jobs even the police won't handle. Everything in his life is going just as he's planned...until one day, he's paired up with the agency's newest hire: a suspicious, eccentric, suicide-obsessed man named Osamu Dazai. Their first case together turns out to be far more complicated than Kunikida anticipated — and it looks like the detective agency's sworn enemy, the Port Mafia, is somehow involved, too!

Set two years before the events of the manga series, this is the tale of how two seemingly incompatible personalities end up forming the partnership that has made them one of Yokohama's top detective duos.

Disclaimer - Epigraph - Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Interlude 1 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Interlude 2 - Epilogue - Afterword

Osamu Dazai And The Dark Era:

Before joining the Armed Detective Agency, Osamu Dazai was the youngest executive with the Port Mafia, the most notorious underground crime syndicate in all of Yokohama. When one of their colleagues suddenly goes missing, Dazai and fellow Port Mafia member Sakunosuke Oda are tasked with conducting an investigation… and at last, the reason why Dazai parted ways with the Port Mafia is revealed!

Disclaimer - Epigraph - Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Epilogue - Afterword

The Untold Origins Of The Armed Detective Agency:

Over a decade before the events of the manga series, a chance encounter leads professional bodyguard Yukichi Fukuzawa to begrudgingly take an arrogant boy genius named Ranpo Edogawa under his wing. Their first job brings them to a local theater on high alert after receiving a bizarre death threat — a challenge that will require both Ranpo's brains and Fukuzawa's experience. The aftermath spurs Fukuzawa to establish the Armed Detective Agency, an organization that takes on dangerous jobs even the police won't handle!

Plus, get a glimpse of the agency the night before Atsushi Nakajima joined the team!

Disclaimer - A Day At The Detective Agency - The Untold Origins Of The Detective Agency (Part 1) - The Untold Origins Of The Detective Agency (Part 2) - The Untold Origins Of The Detective Agency (Part 3) - The Untold Origins Of The Detective Agency (Part 4) - Afterword

55 Minutes:

The Armed Detective Agency's latest case brings them to a strange island off the coast of Yokohama called ‘Standard Island,’ but what awaits them turns out to be far more complicated than expected: a bomb, time travel, a mysterious skill user named H.G. Wells... Will this incident spell the end of Yokohama itself?!

Disclaimer - 

Dead Apple:

Power users around the world are suddenly committing suicide one after another, in all cases after a strange fog appears at the scene. At a request from Ango Sakaguchi, the Armed Detective Agency head out to investigate Tatsuhiko Shibusawa, a power user who calls himself ‘Collector,’ and a man suspected of being tied to the incident.

Disclaimer - 

Beast:

What if the Port Mafia's Hellhound, Ryunosuke Akutagawa, had joined the Armed Detective Agency? Likewise, what if Atsushi Nakajima belonged to the Port Mafia? In the parallel world of Bungo Stray Dogs: Beast, fledgling detective Akutagawa's desperate mission to rescue his younger sister from the Port Mafia's clutches brings him face-to-face with the organization's fearsome White Reaper…a.k.a. Atsushi Nakajima. What does fate have in store for the two beasts in this alternate tale of darkness versus light…?

Disclaimer - 

Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen:

Not long after Ōgai Mori takes the reins of the Port Mafia, his accomplice Osamu Dazai has a dreadful run in with Chūya Nakahara, a boy known as the Sheep King who is capable of manipulating gravity. But when strange rumors about the mysterious being Arahabaki start spreading throughout Yokohama, the duo must put aside their differences and get to the bottom of things.

Before they achieved infamy as the fearsome pairing Twin Dark, Dazai and Chūya were just boys. Was their first encounter a harbinger of hope, or an ill omen of things to come…?

Disclaimer - 

Strombringer:

It's been roughly one year since Chūya Nakahara joined the Port Mafia, and he's got his sights set on an executive position. But as he makes plans to move up, a man by the name of Paul Verlaine—claiming to be his younger brother—appears and vows to assassinate everyone he cares about! Now, Chūya must team up with Adam, a European A.I. investigator, to stop this lunatic before the storm swallows Yokohama once again…

Disclaimer - 

First of all, I really appreciate people who started following me because of these light novels, but I'll be honest. As it turned out my Wattpad gift this new year was them taking down my account because of these light novels, I'm scared that the same would happen if I would update them here as well, so I'm thinking not to risk this account as well, and would not continue to do so (Maybe), but just in case I change my mind...

[w3bghost]

I think dazais character is truly morally gray, what ‘morally gray’ characters we often see in fiction are characters we conveniently label “morally gray” don’t even deserve the title they’re just good people who had done a few bad things, or bad people who had done a few good things but Dazai is truly in the middle, he has done to meany good things to be bad but to meany bad things to be good, I mean he’s abusive ruthless and won’t think twice to manipulate others and made a living hell for Akutagawa but he also saved atsushi from himself giving him a home when no one else could accept him, this isn’t enough to forgive him of course but it still proves he isn’t a fully bad person Most morally gray characters tend to switch back and forth between two sides, right? Lots of writers depict them doing kind things more often while on the “good side”, and doing cruel actions more often while on the “bad side”. But that's not the case with Dazai. Dark Era Dazai was terrifying - he shot innocent people, manipulated his subordinates, abused people, and many more. But he was still good, in his own way. He helped Chuuya cut ties with the Sheep, who were obviously using him for his powerful ability, despite having only met him for a day. He genuinely cared for Odasaku, willing to risk his own life to save his friend. In the ADA, he seemed more compassionate. He gave Atsushi a home and cared for all the members of the ADA. But although it’s subtle, he was still evil. It’s more obvious in the manga - since the anime tends to focus on his humor and suicidal tendencies more.

For example

Yes, Dazai didn’t directly abuse Aku anymore after being in the ADA. But if he was truly a good person, he wouldn’t have taken advantage of Aku’s emotions, thinking that he had every right to control him. He would have acknowledged Aku and sincerely apologized for abusing him. 

You can’t deny Dazai doesn’t have a trace of his PM tendencies left in him even after being in the ADA

That’s the depth about Dazai’s gray morality - no matter which side he’s on, he'd always do an equal amount of good and bad things. I’ve seen lots of people think that Dazai underwent his "redemption arc” in the Dark Era, when Oda died, just because Dark Era and ADA him are opposites. But now that I think of it, his moralities never even changed. He never had a redemption arc. His way of viewing people and the world are still more or less the same. The only reason Dark Era and ADA Dazai are different is because he changed his mannerisms, and obtained more will to live. “Oh, then why did he join the agency?” Because he wanted to honor his best friend’s dying wish. He still doesn’t care about “good” or “bad”. Even Oda knew this - that’s why he said this line to Dazai: “neither good nor evil means much to you, I know” I’d like to believe that a part of Dazai's kind actions are genuine, but you cannot tell me that this man, who didn’t give a fuck about shooting innocent people, is unconditionally kind all the time. We can never guess what’s going on in his head, but I’m sure that he sometimes puts up a facade of being kind, in hopes that one day, it’ll become real. Now, you’ll notice that most morally gray characters undergo a meaningful redemption arc before joining the good guys - which implies that the writers think only post-redemption them belonged in the good side - that pre-redemption them will never be able to become “good”. but Dazai? He joined the agency without undergoing a redemption arc and still passed the entrance exam. What does this mean? From the start, Dazai already had the potential of becoming both "good" and "evil". He would have fit in either organizations perfectly. Mori just happened to find him first. It’s just the matter of timing. 

[musicalmoritz]

BSD Fandom Groupthink

Note: At some point during this yap session I mention my dislike for the Atsushi and Lucy ship. This is not a shipping essay but it is mentioned, and I’m pretty blunt about it, so if that’s going to bother you please just scroll. I also mention Hisoka for like a sentence so TW

It’s very interesting to me how fandoms can shape individual opinions via groupthink. The first time I watched bsd, I understood the themes perfectly. I really admired Dazai’s character arc for his growth towards the light, and how he was able to use the harmful skills he learned in the mafia for good. I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy when his past with Akutagawa was revealed, but I accepted it as a necessary part of both of their character arcs. I didn’t dwell on that or him leaving Chuuya behind in the mafia, because I understood that his character was meant to be morally gray and that the bad things he does move the story along (same with characters like Mori and Fukuchi). I viewed the core themes of the story as overwhelmingly hopeful, to the point that it got a little cheesy even for me. And I want to reiterate that I had nothing but positive feelings towards Dazai

Then I get on TikTok and- *heavy sigh*. Then I get on TikTok and all I see are Dazai hate posts. He’s still the most popular character so I’m not trying to pull the “woe is me” card saying it’s rare to like him or anything. But I was genuinely confused because the overall attitude towards this character I had never even been mildly annoyed with was “ohmygod when will this gross bitch shut up.” I say gross because of the overload of jokes abt him not changing his bandages. It was basically the same post over and over again, even the guy’s fans couldn’t stand him. Granted, a lot of it was jokes, but the joke had gone to the extent that saying anything to contradict it was deemed a sign of poor reading comprehension. After all, they did have some credibility. Dazai has done a lot of bad things, so if you don’t hate him at least a little then obviously that means you support abuse

Now, as someone who was new to the fandom and wanted to fit it, I quickly conformed to this mindset. I felt bad for Chuuya because Dazai abandoned him, even tho before I entered the fandom I had never once paused to question how Dazai leaving impacted Chuuya. I acted frustrated with Dazai for abusing Akutagawa, even tho I had previously thought that was a very interesting plot point that added a lot to both characters. I slandered Dazai every time I talked about him, which confused one of my friends since she remembered me initially loving him. For a bit, I even called Chuuya my favorite character because that was more acceptable than saying Dazai (nowadays you get called basic for having either of them as a fave so me and Chuuya fans are in the same boat)

It wasn't until I found other Dazai fans that actually understood his character that I realized it was okay to stand by my own opinions. This sort of snapped me out of that hive mindset and made me realize that I'd been subconsciously changing my opinions to fit in with the fandom. It helped me to take a step back and to my own analyses, make my own assessments. I was able to disagree with Dazai defenders more easily than I initially could with the rest of the fandom because I felt encouraged to start thinking for myself again

I know what some of you are probably thinking, "Roxy, it sounds like you were just being a pussy," and I was. But the thing is, this wasn't usual for me. I joined the bsd fandom after years of doing my own heated analysis for other fandoms and priding myself on being different. So it's weird to me that bsd is the fandom that made me a sheep. I will say that the bsd fandom has an insane amount of discourse, more than other fandoms even, and they can't really handle other people having different interpretations. This is true of a lot of TikTok fandoms tho, and I got TikTok as I was getting into bsd so it could just be that I chose the wrong platform (Tumblr bsd fans are literally so much better I love ya'll)

Another moment of cognitive dissonance I had was with shipping. I don’t often talk about ships I dislike so if that’s going to offend you, look away now (I’ve given two disclaimers know pls don’t come for me)

When I first watched bsd, I absolutely hated the Atsushi and Lucy romance. I thought it was so forced, and that they were essentially the Chipmunk/Chipette versions of each other. My sister agreed with me so we just kind of made faces whenever they were on screen together. That’s not to say I hated either of their characters, I actually loved both of them a lot. Just not together yk

But when I got on TikTok…holy shit people defend that pairing with their lives. And no shade, I’ll always support people defending something they love. The problem is so many of the shippers followed the rhetoric of “we have to protect the innocent straight ship from the evil gay one.” It really rubbed me the wrong way and didn’t do anything to increase my enjoyment of the ship. In fact I don’t have many straight bsd ships for that reason, I don’t like how they’re viewed as the only healthy ones in order to put down the queer ships. This is coming from someone who’s a big fan of a lot of straight ships, I just can’t really stomach a lot of the bsd ones. At first I even viewed Tachihara and Gin as siblings but I got over that interpretation was I found out abt Aku and Gin being siblings. Nowadays, if I had to pick a favorite straight bsd ship it would most definitely be Tachi//Gin, I think they’re super cute

Got a little off subject there so onto the cognitive dissonance. Just like with Dazai, I pretended to like the straight ships that the fandom protected so dearly. I sought out edits and scrolled to the comments only to immediately find people bringing up rival queer ships for the characters…literally every single time. I looked at headcanon posts and scrolled through ship accounts to try and see the appeal. Then one day I had to take a step back and ask myself why I was looking at content for a ship I didn’t like. Why did I care so much about making myself like something that clearly wasn’t for me? My favorite ships were already the most popular, so wasn’t I already conforming? Why did I feel the need to conform more, when my personal ships weren’t impacting these people whatsoever??

This even led me to abandon ships I once loved. I dropped a Kouyou and Yosano fic I was reading because I saw so many posts about how the ship is lesbiphobic and shallow. This is particularly upsetting because femslash is obviously very important to me, and without Kou//sano I didn’t find a lot of it in the bsd fandom. Rest assured, I’m back to loving the ship, but it took me way to long to accept that I was allowed to like something other fans deemed problematic…which is a lesson I thought I already knew. I was a fucking Hisoka fan before I watched or read bsd, you’d think I would know a thing or two about unpopular opinions

I recognize that a lot of this is personal issues, I am a people pleaser to a fault. But since I’ve learned to stop this behavior, I’ve begun recognizing it in others more and more. Fans who repeat other people’s arguments when they haven’t done any analysis themselves. Fans who admit to pretending to like popular things just so they won’t get “cancelled.” Fandoms, especially the bsd fandom, having mass trends of hating on or loving one specific thing. And a questionable number of fans who seem to agree with everything the fandom says

Guys. You’re not gonna get cancelled for having a different opinion. Okay, if you like Mori you might (Mori fans I’m literally so sorry for ya’ll, you guys have it so rough). But guess what? That’s okay. Do not sacrifice something you enjoy or try to force yourself to like something you don’t just to appease strangers on the internet. It may sound small since we’re talking abt fictional characters here, but these habits will set you up for independent thinking later on in life. Professors and employers admire individuals who are able to think for themselves. People in general admire others who can think for themselves. Also fandom is something that should be fun, you shouldn’t stress yourself out over a difference of opinion. I got into bsd during a pretty vulnerable time in my life so it’s no wonder it took me awhile to strengthen my own opinions. If you’re a person like me who attaches the things you love so much to your identity, it can be hard to see people shitting on those things. You either double down or conform. Either way your harmless opinion has no tangible impact on anyone else in the fandom so it’s much better to stand by your own preferences

So the message here is don’t be a little bitch, develop a mind of your own. And also the TikTok BSD fandom sucks ass