#BASICALLY NOTHING ON ANY OF THEM EXCEPT HOW MUCH THEIR DEATHS FUCKED EVERYTHING UP. THEY HAUNT THE NARRATIVE SO MUCH

[drbtinglecannon]

It's actually kinda sexy of Caleb & Evelyn to haunt the narrative so thoroughly while never having any speaking lines or even appearing on screen outside of 400yr old repressed memories, delusions, and/or hyped up folklore

We don't even know for sure if Evelyn was a Clawthorne, or what she looked like, or how the fight between Caleb and Philip went down, or Caleb's reasons for leaving without Philip, or what their half witch half human baby looked like, or how long after Caleb left before Philip found him again, or what Evelyn did when she discovered her dead lover's grave was robbed, or how quickly after killing Caleb did Philip decide "I can make a new Caleb that's Better™"

We have scraps to give us pretty good ideas for most of these, but nope they really just haunt with no reward. Like yeah babes give us nothing!

[fl3shm4id3n]

Dₒₚₚₑₗgₐₙgₑᵣₛ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐮𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴘʀᴏᴡʟᴇʀ! ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟᴇꜱ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ᴠᴇɴᴏᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Tw: you and miles are vigilantes, theft, venom symbiote, mentions of death, mentions of getting shot, Symbiote being a little shit sometimes, murder?

A/N: Since I don't really know much about earth 42 Miles, I just came up with an idea on why he is the Prowler.

Masterlist

The first person to know about your Symbiote was your boyfriend Miles, you knew that he was the one and only Prowler, sure he was a vigilante, but he did more than the police had ever done, it all started when his father died. His dad was a good cop, but sadly he was killed while on a patrol and the police station did nothing, so Miles had decided to take matters into his own hands.

You had no idea how the alien had got to you. One day you just woke up and bam, you had an Symbiote on you. Miles could not believe it, he has seen weird shit, but not this weird. Your Symbiote on the other hand, was a little shit, who was always hungry or would just flat out fuck with both you and Miles for its entertainment.

But as time passed, you and your Symbiote got along well, it would still mess with Miles, but your boyfriend was cool with the creature. Then one night that you were walking home late back to your apartment complex, you nearly got shot by a mugger. He had wanted everything that you had, but refused to give him any of the money Miles had given you, then you heard gunshots.

Except, your body had been consumed by a black liquid, almost similar to a shield, then you felt a lot of anger and all sorts of things going through your body, next thing you new, the guy was dead. Ripped apart on the ally. You went back home straight away, wondering what just happened.

You had bumped into Miles, and basically told him what happened. How you were nearly mugged and you basically killed the guy. Miles wanted to kill the guy himself, but he was already dead. Then that was when your Symbiote had told you both its abilities.

Now this caused interest, you basically had some kind of weapon on you. And that's how you began to help Miles and his Uncle, they both helped train you so that you didn't get your ass kicked, sure you had your Symbiote, but it was good that you knew how to fight. You didn't have to help, but you choose to help both Miles and Aaron. At first your Symbiote wasn't convinced, but once you told it that with the extra money you got, you can get them as much junk food as they wanted, they agreed.

Thanks to you and your Symbiote, you manage to get more money, but majority of the money would go to Miss Morales, she worked hard as a nurse, but she wasn't getting paid enough, you believed that she dissevered the money due to her hard work. Besides Bounties, you also stole from the rich and helped the people from your community. Since no one cared about your people, you and Miles made it your mission to help them as much as possible. Sure it was dirty work, but you didn't care, if this was how to help the community you grew up in, so be it.

You and Miles had been on a mission, you as Venom and him as the Prowler. You had stolen some money from this Rich's guy's home, after you got both your shares, you went to drop it off at the orphanage that was near your apartment complex, afterwards you got a call from Aaron, there was a situation and he needed both of you to see what it was. "What do you think it is? Another bounty?" you asked, your face had been uncovered to be able to speak and look at Miles. "I don't know, but it sounds important. Lets go." That was all he said, then you both hurried back to the hide out.

Once you arrived, you crawled in through the window, then you saw someone tied onto the punching bag while Aaron was messing with some stuff. You wanted to get a better look, so with your spiderlike abilities, you crawled on the celling. As soon as you saw the guy, he looked identical to you boyfriend, except he had his hair in an afro and he was wearing some kind of suit, spider suit in particular. Now you were above the person tied up on the punching bag, then your boyfriend made himself present. You also spotted someone else, tied behind him, when you set your eyes on them, you couldn't believe it, it was you! Except, the fake looked more nice and sweet, very unlike you.

He then got down, while you stayed on the ceiling. Aaron then tossed him one of his gloves in which he caught. He looked very intimidating when he got closer to the imposter. "Your dad is still alive?" he asked, making the imposter respond in confusion. "What?" he asked, making your boyfriend repeat himself. "You father, you said he is still alive." he said, this time the imposter whispered. "Yeah.." he said, making your boyfriend let out a small hum. "Who are you?" he asked, a whole minute passed, then your Miles reveal himself to the other one by removing his mask from his face. Your fake couldn't really see any of what was happening, except hear everything, she could feel how everything was happening all at once.

"I'm Miles Morales, but you.. can call me the Prowler" he said, making the other Miles have a look of shock. "If I don't get home, our dad is going to die-" he tried to reason with him but he was cut off by your Miles. "Your dad" he said coldly, making the other more scared. Then this was when you decided to make yourself present. You slid upside down using your web, now face to face to the imposter Miles. Your face had been covered, so all he could see was your sharp rows of teeth and your wide white eyes, making him even more scared.

You smirked and licked your teeth with your long tongue. "I didn't know you had a twin brother, I thought we didn't keep secret from us Babe" you teased, in your demonic voice. You then got a hold of the other Miles face, lightly pressing your sharp talons on his cheeks, causing him to be even more scared. "He isn't my brother" your boyfriend said. You continued to have a good look at the fake. Impressed on how similar he was to your boyfriend, except he looked more dorky and soft. "W-who are you?" he asked again, still frightened.

Just like your boyfriend, you showed your face to him. This caused him to let out a small gasp. "I'm Y/n L/n" You said then you turned the bag around, now face to face to your other you! Just like Miles, she was terrified, even more terrified than Miles. "But you can call me Venom" you said with a smirk, showing her the fangs that you developed over time. It made her even more scared, you saw how she was shivering by the fear.

Taglist?: @sorryi-mtrash

[manikas-whims]

Reasons I despise Shadow and Bone

• Inej Ghafa in the books was an SA survivor and a girl who despite all that she went through, held hope close to her chest. Book Inej was so scared of the menagerie, she couldn't walk past it without the fear of being recaptured. She finally moved on from this fear when she choked Heleen at the Ice Court, stole her diamond choker and ran, calling her silks feathers. And finally believing that she was free after facing her fear, her abuser head on. So seeing the show Inej casually walk into the menagerie as well as merely shrugging upon hearing of Heleen's death this season, was not just extremely ooc but disrespectful and had zero depth.

• Kaz Brekker's disability was basically neglected this entire season and his cane treated like an accessory. Not only that they butchered the entire Kaz-Nikolai meeting in CK. Kaz would've immediately recognized Nikolai, like that was such a downgrade. Not to mention Nikolai threatening Kaz (and Jesper). Kaz wouldn't be threatened. Instead he'd make negotiations with Nikolai on his terms. Oh and most importantly, his entire backstory was rushed and played off like it was nothing serious. That intensity of two innocent small-town boys being tricked by an adult with agency and power, I couldn't feel it as much as I felt reading the books.

• Jesper Fahey's backstory is very emotional and beautiful. The memories with his mother and his coversations later on with his father, all lead up to him slowly accepting his grisha side more and embracing it. Embracing being a zowa. The show speed-ran through it and well, it lost its depth.

More importantly none of the backstory material makes much sense and lacks so much depth because there was nothing that lead to that development. The books, whatever transpires in SoC is what leads to and triggers their individual character developments. So any backstories stuffed in the show made no sense.

• Nina Zenik's bisexuality is completely erased by the show. Its like netflix is allergic to sapphics 😭

• Now Kanej! We got so much Kanej content we should be happy right? I agree. The scenes did give me a momentary high because those are some of my favorite parts of the books and its a blessing to be able to see them adapted on screen. Except, none of those scenes made sense, especially since season 1 barely hinted about some chemistry between the two and then season suddenly escalated all that slow burn into significant moments badly stashed into the show plot. I mean ofc we got the chapel scene and all but.. The whole wound patching-up scene was a pivotal moment in their relationship and it was completely downplayed in the show. And then there was also Kaz getting mad at Inej freeing some children from slavers? Like ofcourse even book Kaz would be slightly miffed but he wouldn't outright reprimand Inej and tell her she's off the team due to it, but thats what show Kaz did. And then after everything that happens, the sudden drop of “how will you have me” and the “without armor” dialogue completely did dirty to that moment. Like ofc she says “gloves on, fully clothed, head turned away so our lips never meet”. But in the books, Inej utters those words because of all the secrecy and lack of effort for pursuing a proper relationship between them. The “no armor” Inej says is addressed towards wanting him to be more open about himself (since Kaz knows basically everything about her, from her full name to how she was captured and ended up in Ketterdam) but Inej knows nothing about him, not even if Kaz Brekker is his real name. But the show made the “no armor” dialogue so bad. Its made Inej look so shallow as if she is merely speaking in terms of her physical wants.

Ohh and I did mention this in another post but everybody fucking knowing about Kaz's backstory? Everyone but Inej? The only person he actually tells in the books. Him even telling the fraction of stuff he tells Inej spoke volumes about their bond and how he trusted her enough to reveal this truth about himself. Show Kaz's past is revealed to Nina and Jesper casually walking in and listening??? WTF was that? And no Inej in thaf moment. Call it nitpicking but it was WRONG.

• Wesper has been reduced to the token gay couple of the show. Their sweet first encounter has been completely eradicated and they're turned into this typical trope of people who had a one night stand and accidentally met again. Their romance is so sexualised in the show, as many tend to do with queer ships (which is extremely disgusting imo). More importantly, we'll most likely never see the “no, not just girls” in that possible spin-off 🙂

• Ketterdam: the show has given no proper insight on Ketterdam. I bet most of the show only people don't understand much about the city and the gangs. I wonder if many even know whats a Dime Lion. And Pekka randomly having the stadwatch in cahoots with him was so shitty writing?

And these are just a few that i can remember right now. Also i don't want this post to get too long.

–» If you're one of those sheep fans, don't comment shit like “creators already told us its different from the books, so you shouldn't be mad” 🤪 cause I'll definitely delete your comment.

If you are one of those, scroll past this post. Cause what do y'all even mean? People can't freely discuss or criticize a piece of media now? STFU!

[jade-kyo]

sorry if this dumb, but I genuinely don't understand. What is wrong with the direction Noragami is taking ?

Not dumb at all and I’m very willing to break it down- this got pretty long and I just kinda typed it all out as I thought of it so I hope it’s not too incoherent and rambling but yeah. I have a lot of feelings, most of which are not good. If anyone else has any further points on why this is Not Great™️ feel free to add on.

First off there are so many issues with Hiyori being a shinki. God’s greatest secret? How is she supposed to interact with anyone except the gods and the very few shinki who know the secret and survived. It’s waaaay too risky to reveal it to her and just hope that she survives it. if she interacts with any other shinki it runs the risk of them becoming curious about their own lives and names because they knew her while she was alive and know her living name.

And then thematically it just makes no sense. The entire point of the hospital arc was to show us she needs to live! She’s only sixteen. She has her whole life ahead of her and her throwing it away to be on the far shore is a complete spit in the face to everything this manga has said beforehand. It’s also a spit in the face to Yukine’s arc who spent all this time grieving the life he never got to live because he died so young. Now our main character, who desperately wanted to live, to return to her family, to live her dream of becoming a doctor, is gonna have all that taken from her? When the whole fucking point was how much the shinki wanted to live? It turns the entire story, which up until now was about hope and overcoming the past, into a tragedy. A full on tragedy with basically no hope or silver lining or anything.

Not a single character (except trashdad) wanted this for Hiyori. They all warned her about it. They all desperately wanted her to live her full happy life on the near shore because death is a tragedy. Yes shinki like Yukine, Kazuma, and Nana may come to accept it and find their peace with it and find a life they can love on the far shore but that doesn’t negate the tragedy of death. That they were all taken too soon. That Yukine never got to see his sister again or even grow up, that Kazuma never got to get married or run his family’s business, Nana couldn’t protect her home or grow up or save her father. Their lives were stolen from them.

Death is always a tragedy. It’s unfair and cruel. No matter how one may come to terms with it. That’s been the whole fucking point of the manga since day one.

“When someone dies you can never see them again” it’s right there in Sakura’s quote.

There’s literally no way to spin this into even a bittersweet ending much less a happy ending. Not without going against literally everything this manga has stood for up until now. So the only other option is to go full blown everything is cruel and unfair and there is no hope and Yato really does just bring calamity to everyone he loves and trashdad was right all along. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, no silver lining. Just- NOTHING! Seriously this fucks over Yato’s entire character. It literally proves Father right. Everyone Yato loves dies. He really does just spread calamity to all.

You really expect them to be happy together when every time Yato looks at “Shiro” he’ll have to remember how he failed to save Hiyori, failed to protect her, how this innocent little girl who had her entire life ahead of her was murdered by his father simply because they loved each other? Because he couldn’t cut ties with her, couldn’t let her go. Like it’s horrible. Just absolutely horrible. There’s no hope here.

Because death is a tragedy no matter what.

[golbrocklovely]

Have you seen the argument that SnC can't be pulling away from the fans on social media because their 'social media stars' and that their entire job is social media so they are required to give fans tweets and instagram posts etcetc?

My opinion is no they're not social media stars anymore, they are YOUTUBERS, Instagram, twitter, tiktok and snapchat are just extras that these days they could stop if they so wanted. Their job is to create youtube videos, everything else they give us is given to us by their choice, they don't have to do any of that. They could if they wanted just use their social media accounts to promote only their videos and merch and nothing else like a lot of other youtubers do. They CHOOSE not to because in the past they have enjoyed the social side of things, but with their fans being assholes they are allowed to pull away from socials as they are not social media stars, it is not required of their job anymore. They are YOUTUBERS.

What are your thoughts?

it is very funny to hear ppl say this, especially when for years i thought the general consensus was that snc need to take a break and they deserve one. but now… no one wants them to have one. how weird.

first off, the main problem with this argument is that fans expect something for staying so long when we've never been guaranteed anything. i've been here for years, i don't expect snc to do dick all except give me content occasionally that i enjoy and continue to post on xplrclub where i pay to be/get exclusive content. that's all i'm owed. anything else is an added bonus.

fans that think they are owed something just bc they bought the most amount of merch or have been here for years or whatever other reason need a reality check. you are mistaking a past time of yours as a job. you aren't getting paid to be here. you can leave whenever. if you are no longer entertained, go.

snc haven't been consistent posters in years. like, yeah, there was a period of time from like 2015-2017 when snc were constantly posting on insta or twitter or snapchat or youtube. but it has not been like that in a very long time. snc don't have to put in that kind of work bc they have blown up already and now it's quality over quantity.

the problem i have with all of this is that snc have made it abundantly clear why they have started pulling back. EVERYONE IN THIS FANDOM IS AN ASSHOLE. what's not to get??

colby can't read comments anymore and has admitted so, he gets emails and loses followers over him growing facial hair, has been picked apart for years over his choice in gfs, got a terrible death threat a couple years ago that made him basically leave twitter, has gotten constant and dumb hate on there for years, got made fun of for being "fat" when it really him being sick with undiagnosed cancer, literally questioned even telling the fandom he had cancer in the first place bc he knew how they would react if he went bald, plus a mirade of other shit i can't get into. and even sam, the miracle child who rarely has ever had to face consequence for anything he's done or said, is now saying that fans are mean and words can hurt. so you KNOW it has to be bad for him to say something.

and they both said that they put too much of their personal life out there for everyone to see and it wasn't good for them, that they regret doing that.

this fandom thinks it "can say whatever it wants" without snc seeing it. or at the very least, they don't care if snc see. and in what universe would the idol want to stick around when it's fans are shitting on it?? you tell me. they're pulling back bc you all fucking suck. and when they eventually remove themselves entirely bc you want to bitch about their gfs or their face puffing up or whatever random other nonsense you deem worthy of a tweet, i don't want to fucking hear a peep. shut up, for once.

(none of this directed at you anon)

[sketchfanda]

A Little Moxxie Love: Well that happened!,

Somedays I.M.P just had one of those days and one of those kinds of jobs. It had started all routine enough, a client came to their office looking for the service they provide to the best of their abilities of course. They go to the living world, find the target and make a corpse out of them. Simple as that, leave little to no evidence and back to their modest little slice of Hell, provided things didn't go FUBAR of course.

Except for the fact their client had been the recently deceased employee of a genetics research lab which had little to no moral compass on using animals as test subjects for God only knows what the fuck for. Not to forget to the target and cause of his death, that he naturally neglected to mention before hand of course had been FUCK MOTHERING HONEST TO GOD GREMLINS!! Yes somehow this bunch of amoral labcoat wearing intellectual jackasses had gotten their hands on a cute little mogwai, got him wet and then they fed the newly born ones AFTER midnight!! So they basically not only broke 2 of the 3 key rules when handling a mogwai, they wound up with the natural result of being ambushed by a hoard of gremlins who did as Gremlins were want to do.

That being cause untold wanton destruction and mayhem for shits and giggles, eat any and everything in sight and of course get themselves wet in order to multiply enough to make an army. Which meant I.M.P pretty much had to clean up this shit before these scaly goblin/troll looking scuzz-balls got out of the lab and made their way into a populated area like a small town or a major urban city. Where they would no doubt cause even more of a fuck-storm of chaos at least before they had to avoid any major potentially fatal bright lights like the sun then move on, rinse and repeat. it was fortunate they could be killed easier than cockroaches at least.

EXCEPT for the fact some of the anarchic little monsters started getting their grubby 3 clawed hands on of the lab's experimental chemicals, ingesting them nonchalantly which began to result in God only knows what sort of mutations. One of them grew batwings, another was turning into a living vegetable garden and don't even get started on the goddamn spider!! It was small wonder this had to require everyone in the whole misfit organisation, yes including even Loona who was busy mauling as many of the little goobers she could get within reach of tooth and claw. to say nothing of how busy as fuck Blitzo and Millie were painting the walls and ceiling with the green blood of every gremlin in sight, but what of Moxxie I hear you asking?

Well our favourite little possum found himself in a bit of a situation that was even more unexpected a snafu than finding out about this mission. As he was cornered in the rec room by one particular and quite frankly peculiar Gremlin who had something in mind besides wrecking other people's shit. Now by nature gremlins and mogwai were what you might call a mono-gendered, asexual species. They were technically mostly all male and their means of production consisted of getting soaked in water, causing more of their kind to multiply and sprout off their backs, so the bigger the body of water, the better.

But Moxxie you see wasn't dealing with the average Gremlin right now, for you see this one was legit an actual female. It seemed among the Lab's numerous formulas and mutagens, they'd cooked up one that could in theory physically and biologically change one's gender. For all their amoral antics and who knows what the fuck sort of acts against God and humanity they had going on here, seems one of those egghead fuck-wipes was apparently trying to make transitioning a better process for the T portion of the LGBT community. And this Gremlin right here was unintentional proof it sure as Hell worked!!

Moxxie:*currently backed up against a corner of the room as he scrambled through his coat to find any weapons on hand. His shirt messed up, bowtie missing as his face was covered in lipstick marks as he tried not to panic.* "N-now now miss, I'm sure you're as reasonable as you're very pretty so maybe you should reconsider...uhm..."*The imp spat and cursed, mumbling as he hadn't yet found something to defend himself. Damnit this bitch was horny!!*

??:*let out a mix of a purr and a giggle as the clicking of black stiletto high heels signalled every step closer to her prey. Yes this Gremlin, Greta we will call her, had changed in so many ways from the rest of her kind and it showed. Don't even ask where she got her outfit from, it was like these damn things operated on some toon logic and physics. As the shortstack minx ran a hand through her long mane of neon green hair, her pouty ruby lips making kisses at our imp boi, hips sashaying as she shed her snow leopard skin mini skirt, standing clad in just a matching set of a bra and thong panties.*"Oh why can't you commit?"

Moxxie:*knew the feeling all too well that he was literally and figuratively screwed. This she-gremlin was looking down to fuck, his golden eyes widening as she nonchalantly removed her bra. Tossing it aside as she now stood clad in just her thing and high heels and still looking down to fuck. To which the imp sighed and took a deep breath, looking intently at the lusty chaos beast.* “So this is how it’s gotta go, very well. But know this, I possesses a certain set of skills when it comes to dealing with women, my wife included. Skills that should you proceed with your intentions, that I will not hesitate to use. So bring it….Bitch…”

Greta:*let out a lusty mix of a coo and purr, as if Moxxie’s sudden mood shift was a total turn on for her.* “Oooh what a hunk!!” *The further emboldened and aroused female Gremlin wasted no further time as she pounced into the imp, grabbing and pulling down his pants, boxers and all!! Pink glowing hearts in her eyes as she beheld the imp’s now exposed, stiffening cock. Now this was a feast!!*

Greta proceeded of course to practically suffocate herself on that alpha imp dick, her Ruby red lips latched around that length and girth as licked and sucked on it. Her newfound sexual instincts guiding her into a primal drive to mate with this unique specimen as she deepthroated with abandon. Her snow leopard print thong soaked with her flow of juices as they made a puddle on the floor as she lewdly bobbed her head on that imp shaft with abandon. Moxxie gritting his teeth as he clutched her wild neon green mane of hair and facefucked her, driven to tame this insatiable she-beast.

it was no wonder and only natural that the battle of sexual wills proceeded to its next level as Greta now remained only in her high heels, arms and legs wrapped around the imp who was just as nude as the day he was born. Performing a standing fuck position as his hands clutched that bubbly scaly Jade booty of hers, his heavy balls smacking the outer rim of her netherlips. Juices splashing and flying as Greta let loose with deep beastly moans of primal desire at such grilling erotic sensations. Glowing pink hearts in her eyes as Moxxie proceeded to not only give her one helluva a first time but pretty much ruin her for other men altogether, and she wouldn’t want or have it any other way!

Greta:”Hahhnharder! Harder daddy!! Don’t stop! Make babies with me!!”*the sexually mutated gremlin howled lustfully, as Moxxie fucked her spotty style. Her lipstick smeared, mascara flowing down her eyes like gothic tears. Her stomach swollen from he deep his length and girth reached and filled her as those baby-making balls slapped her clit. She just couldn’t get enough of it!”

Moxxie:”This isn’t my first rodeo you know!”*The imp hitman quipped as he found himself on his back as Greta now rode him cowgirl style. Her 3 clawed hands caressing his chest as her hips bounced on his cock, his pelvis all soaked and sticky with their mixed juices. He had cum 5 times in this mutant and hadn’t pulled out once but he was no stranger to borderline nymphomaniacs!! Hands holding onto her waist as he used his best natural weapon in his arsenal, his infernal stamina!!*

The rec room clock ticked on, minute after minute into hour after hour as the imp and gremlin’s battle of erotic wills raged on. Position after position with Greta especially making sure she got plenty of oral and anal stimulation. It was a lucky thing the rule about never make a mogwai or gremlin didn’t apply to any liquid outside of water or this room would get pretty Damn crowded real fast!! But right about now Greta was enjoying getting wet in a more different and fun way and didn’t want to stop anytime soon.

Missionary to mating press, spread eagle to full nelson but Moxxie knew he would prevail! He could only hope that his co workers weren’t having too much trouble with the infestation, unaware of the security camera in the upper corner of the room that was catching each and every single moment of his and Greta’s sexual duel. All transmitting on a monitor in the security room, where Millie and Loona sat and enjoyed the show. Enjoying the snacks available as their crimson skin and fur respectively was stained with the green blood of gremlins.

Indeed Moxxie had nothing to worry about as they’d taken care of the infestation, preventing the little freaks from breaking out for their shit storm of chaos. Floor after floor, wall to wall and ceilings coated in the remains of gremlins, splatters and pools of green slime blood, body parts making it akin to a slaughterhouse. Of course the imp and hellhound didn’t think Moxxie needed to know that yet, not when he was having so much fun. Hey they just laid waste to a gremlin army, who said they couldn’t enjoy a free porn show?

Loona:-.-“Sooo we gonna take that one back with Us? Seems like a waste, girl gets her world rocked by fatty daddy and we got to off her?”*The hellhound quipped, tail idly wagging as she rubbed her thighs together. Phantom sensations of past intimacy with Moxxie coursing through her nerves. It reminded her she needed her fix.*

Millie:”Oh don’t you worry none, we just tell the client job done, sneak her back into hell and get her all nice, settled in with ID and papers. After a little of this of course…”*the wrath shortstack assured as she held up a syringe filled with the lab’s genetic sunblock. Handy to have on hand in deprive Greta of the bright light weakness. Sensually biting her lip as she and Loona watched Moxxie pin the kne of a kind lady gremlin against a wall and plow her fierce. The voyeur duo sharing a fist bump as their devious plan came together.*

Yes sir what the client didn’t know wouldn’t hurt, especially given it was payback for holding out on the mission details. Not Loona’s fault for the intel for sure as they conspired on smuggling Greta out of the living world and into hell, there was no doubt she’d make a killing in the lust circle. That is knowing she’d get her regular Moxxie dick fix of course. Plus who knows what kind of babies you’d get from a gremlin going all porno with an imp…for science!!

Blitzo of course was clueless about this going on, as he was busy fishing himself out of the mountain of gremlin bodies he’d racked up. Popping his head out as he looked around a sea of limbs and green blood, eyeing the handiwork akin to a critic analysing a work of art. Sitting comfy as he fished out a set of glasses from what had been one very brainy, chatty gremlin and out them on. Humming as he looked at where the 4th wall would be.

Blitzo:”Now, was that civilized? No, clearly not. Fun, but in no sense civilized. Now what we want is, I think, what everyone wants, and what you and yours have: civilization. The niceties. The fine points: diplomacy, compassion, standards, manners, tradition... that's what we're reaching toward. Oh, we may stumble along the way, but civilization, yes. Everything society has worked so hard to accomplish over the centuries, that's what we aspire to; we want to be civilized…..or something I dunno what the fuck I’m talking about….so any of you fuckers not dead yet?”

Now that’s comedy….

[cyberpunk-20xx]

about masc!V's VA

cw for general spoilers and mentions of typical-canon violence

I always find it strange that people find masc!V's VA emotionless, or even annoying or plain bad. I'm not gonna say anything about fem!V's VA because I don't pay attention at all to it cus if I do it gives me dysphoria.

I don't, on the other end, find it that strange that most people I've seen with this opinion are in fact cis men.

To me masc!V's VA is actually super emotional, but not in the conventional likeable, heroic way. Jaded and reserved at the same time. I like the VA a lot for doing what I consider great work at presenting us a character who has lived from 2050 to 2077 in a deeply fucked up world where hope is so sparse. A world that we have no idea how fucked up is, even reading about the ttrpg because to me Cyberpunk Red is much less fucked up even if it is already a dystopia.

Just as a reminder, in CP77's NC society:

Amputation without actual health concern is highly encouraged all for the sake of pure performance. And nothing else. Your physical body is socially just disposable. The only way to keep up with the world that keeps eating itself is just to upgrade, and if you don't have the money for it? Fuck you, fuck your ideals, fuck your dreams.

You get suicide baited on the regular by the fucking street advertisements.

Violence against marginalised people is at an all-time all. Sex workers have it even worse than in the real world and that's saying something on how women and queer people are treated in general.

Acid rain is normal.

The majority of the animal population is extinct in the whole world. The cattle industry has collapsed and unless you're Kerry Eurodyne levels of rich, meat is either made of worms or insects and it's not even something hidden or taboo. In fact, it's shown explicitly in ads. Real vegetables and organic food in general is scarce as well. We might, irl 2023, start to be desensitized about it because we're on the brink of the ultraliberal hell that the game is portraying, but human's civilisation started with agriculture, and cattle culture was a big fucking part of that, regardless of one's ethics and morals about meat consumption (do not clown about veganism on this post, people are allowed to value animal life regardless of this video game blurb). In various quests, namely Panam's and River's, we can see firsthand how the collapse of that industry has rotten individuals and left the land in ruins.

Even a mondial star like Kerry or a fixer queen like Rogue are just, in the end, the bitches of the corps they sold out to, and unable to fight back. In fact, they've both given up entirely until V comes crashing into their life, with Johnny in tow. The fandom paints them as charismatic individuals but I really just think that's the rose-tinted glasses effect of us knowing what they used to be, when they tried, and them just being... Pretty conventionally attractive, quippy and sarcastic. But really even those two people who we are presented with as Succesful Individuals TM just... Man they just fucking suck, okay? They're miserable, they don't like themselves, they don't like who they are anymore, they don't have any speck of joy left in their lives, they're both estranged from their kids, alone, and just going on because death is scary. They're so human. They're at the top of the world and in the end they're still nothing in the face of it. Love them both so much but they're heartbreaking.

V always starts the game after having lost everything. Any other fucker in their place would have most likely finished just like a certain Heywood kid with spikey brunette hair. V is an exceptional individual for even having a chance at a second life.

V pretty much has brain cancer and is promised a painful, slow agonising death unless they basically kill themselves, and the less painful way to go is to gobble down medication but then that means giving the body up to Johnny. Johnny's first interaction with them is: violent physical assault and suicide baiting. It's hell. V is in hell. It could not be me if I were honest, I would not bother fighting it and I would not only alt+F4 from life, I would do as Johnny wishes at this point and erase us both at once.

V's so traumatized that when they lose Jackie, they're still able to function, but not enough to see a blatant trap coming. And when they have to carry Evelyn's corpse out of that tub, they don't have a breakdown, they just tank it. Which is not badass by the way, if you frame this as anything positive you need therapy yourself tbh boo you deserve better.

V's also a cold blooded murderer very easily if you want to take that path, and I'd even argue that the game makes it very hard for them to not be a killer honestly. Even the "non-lethal" optic mod doesn't work that well past a certain point. I've yet to try my hand at a pacifist run.

If you want V to be a good person, a hopeful person, someone who does not sound deeply suicidal and terribly fucked up, someone who's not used to death and treason as their daily lot, someone who's going to make you feel good about yourself when interacting with the world... I don't think you understood the game you were buying, nor that you were paying much attention while you were playing.

I'll be the first to admit have my own biases and gripes with the game's bleak looks on life, at its pretense at being "cyberpunk" when it truly only has the "cyber" part down, but at the same time I gotta give it to it, it's cohesive within its own universe and tone. V's canon, vanilla character makes perfect sense in the settings we are presented with. Masc!V's VA just does a good job of translating that.

But I guess that's not all of it, the difference between my interpretation and the one I made this post about makes sense because it is true that masc!V's VA does not act like the normal hero archetype at all, but like an anti-hero, except without the whole "charismatic leader" bullshit tone and bravado, unlike… Well, Johnny himself.

Masc!V's voice is not only not the voice of a good guy, it also fails to be the voice of a leader, of someone who's got it all figured out, of, well, the alpha male. It commits the crime of not being Good and not being Manly, at once! It even dares to be human and vulnerable at times! No wonder it gets haters lmao.

And the people I see bashing on masc!V's VA are always fucking kissing Johnny's ass for being who he is in the flashbacks, in the legends and at the beginning of the game. And that, to me, is pretty self-explanatory why I cannot relate with their opinion on masc!V's VA.

[the-bloody-sadist]

Hi, Sadist, I love your artworks and stories so much, as an aspiring writer. I was wondering what you thought of Fyodor's death during the last season 5 episode of bsd, because I felt that all this time he was shown to be sooo intelligent, and then he got fooled way too easily by skk's fake vamp trick (i'm dying), the plot of bsd is confusing me :') AM I alone here??

First of all, you've come to the right place. If you didn't see my other most recent ask, I'm a BSD s4-5 hater, and an Asagiri hater as a whole, really, after seeing the kind of shit he's pulled.

Second of all, let's get something straight here: FYODOR IS NOT DEAD. You can't EVER tell me that 1) a BSD character of importance has actually died for real and 2) his dead body was not even shown on screen and Dazai said "HE'S DEFINITELY DEAD" HAHAHAHA. LAUGHABLE. ATROCIOUS. He's obviously gonna come back minus one arm. Asagiri doesn't care about logic or good storytelling, anymore. It won't matter that a helicopter literally BLEW UP WITH HIM IN IT, Asagiri will be like "um akshually" and then the worst possible plot convenience explanation ever, just like EVERYTHING IN THE NEWEST SEASONS HAS BEEN SO FAR.

Like please. I'm SUCH a hater right now. I don't ever want to see more BSD content. I'm done. Wrap it up. The vampires were enough. I didn't need fucking CHUUYA PRETENDING TO BE ONE AND MAKING THE AUDIENCE JUST BELIEVE THAT FYODOR WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO THINK HE ACTUALLY WAS A VAMPIRE?? HELLO? Smart person, who??? Also tell me how he simulated the red eyes, Asagiri. Hm? How'd he pull that off?

Bullshit.

Fyodor and Dazai came off as intelligent in their first few appearances together. Fyodor's BANGER scene with Ace? I'll never get over it. I LOVED that. Was it a BIT of a stretch in a lot of areas? Yeah! BSD has always been that way. But it absolutely lost its course and any sort of grounding in reality or good storytelling when it came to S4-5. All of the "'''''''intelligent'''''''''' characters are now just plot convenience masters. It's absolutely ridiculous. We went from high school level reading to kindergarten shit.

And I never thought I could be made to HATE Dazai. But these new seasons turned up the "oo I'm so quirky" dial on his character so hard that I completely disconnected with him and Fyodor and couldn't stand whatever scenes we got with them together. The whole prison break scene was devastating, too. What EVEN.

Coming from a writer's perspective, this is just the LAZIEST plot I have ever seen in an anime. Asagiri spent NO amount of effort deciding how to make characters work to get themselves out of whatever pits they fell into. He just went "oh and then this other guy swooped in and fixed it! Easy peasy! I'll beat up Kenji again! And then I'll give him this VERY IMPORTANT rage form suddenly that was NEVER explored and NEVER mentioned until just now! For like two minutes so he can "beat" this guy in a fight and then let him go because NOBODY DIES EVER!"

I seriously can't. I knew Dazai wouldn't die but all the fan theories of how Dazai wouldn't die were better than what actually happened. It's almost amazing the amount of non-effort that went into these season arcs.

After finishing them, I now hate Gogol, Fyodor, Dazai, Chuuya (more than before), Atsushi, Fukuchi, Ranpo (though I've never once had a positive thought about him) and basically everybody--except Akutagawa was okay, Sigma, Jouno, and Tetchou had potential, and Bram was very cute. They ruined everyone else so badly that it felt like OOC versions of them. Or did next to nothing with them, like Jouno and Tetchou. ESPECIALLY DAZAI. I will be malding over Dazai for FOREVER now. Why the hell did they turn him up to 100 on the most annoying parts of his personality???

In conclusion, not a single thing went right in those episodes, it was all "oh this could be go-- [GETS RUINED]" over and over again. There was a SINGLE episode that made me happy in S4 and it was that one where Gogol was introduced and he yanked on Atsushi's leg and stuff and that was IT. LMFAO.

Okay I have to cut myself off or I'll go on for hours. THANKS FOR ASKING ME ABOUT IT, IT WAS ALL BOTTLED UP IN ME.

And more importantly, thank you SO much for the compliments on my work!! I'm so happy you like my stuff, and I hope you take writing lessons from Asagiri on all the things you should NEVER do in a story if you want it to be worth anything!!!!

[plvtosun]

blanca has a playlist now!

it’s a little over an hour long, + i made one on youtube for anyone who wants to listen but doesn’t use spotify. there’s 18 songs, about half of them are in spanish. i couldn’t find any spanish/english lyric videos so sorry about that </3 but i did put in some mvs that i thought were cool on the youtube playlist. (except for the pretty woman one lmao the message at the end is good but it’s uhhh… kinda weird lol so feel free to ignore it and just listen to the song)

background for the songs below the cut if anyone’s curious!

songs 2-11 are basically just blanca and her experiences that made her who she is + her personality.

songs with [*] are the ones i recommend watching the music videos for cause i think they’re pretty cool :b

i’m from LA - self explanatory right?? lol

son mis locuras - blanca’s inner monologue while she’s still living with her family, i guess? nothing super deep. i like the line “me dicen ‘nena, te pareces a tu abuela’” (“they tell me ‘baby, you look like your grandma’”) because blanca’s named after her maternal grandma, so that’s a fun coincidence with her story and the song that i didn’t even think of when i added it to her playlist at first tbh

maría la curandera - it’s like her favorite tía in mexico teaching her about doing limpias (spiritual cleansings) for herself when she visited as a kid. cozy comforting vibe overall

cumbia feminista, mujer moderna, whore - these are grouped together because they deal with purity culture, which is something blanca had to deal with her whole life and it felt like it got worse the older she got. people trying to dictate what she wore, how she expressed herself, being catcalled and shamed, all that fun stuff :))) whore specifically relates to her dynamic with someone from her past who tried to put his idealized image onto her and got mad when it didn’t line up with who she actually is. she blares that song when she’s reminiscing and she looooves shouting “you love me for everything you hate me for” at the top of her lungs.

crumbling down → recuérdame → la llorona* - things are rough, but she’s alright for the most part now that she’s living on her own finally. → death of the tía she was close to, she struggles with it a lot because she felt like no one else really understood and accepted her fully. → remembering the time she was visiting said tía and how she and her cousin saw la llorona! the song comforts her because it’s a reminder and again, she thought la llorona was kind of pretty. (she wonders if la llorona scared the shit out of her cousin on purpose, to make him drop her instead of tossing her into the river to fuck with her…)

la vida es un sueño* - she lives life how the hell she wants! she’s over people trying to take advantage of her and tell her how to act. she’s angry and tired and done. side note, my favorite lines are “corazón sangrado, me has abandonado / necesito una limpia, que ando embrujado” (“bleeding heart, you abandoned me / i need a cleansing, because i’m cursed”)

songs 12-18 are the mushy toca (toki/blanca, coincidentally this means “touch” in spanish!) songs LOLLL i think the lyrics are pretty obvious so i won’t go into detail too much. i’ll add in (b) and (t) to show whose pov the songs are from

can’t get you out of my head (b) - “…shit i have a crush.”

oh, pretty woman (t) - HAHA he has one too you shy tsundere loser deal with it he likes you >:) pay attention to him dammit!

afraid (t) - ohhh she’s scared. but why? hm. alright

your sweet six six six (t) - the LET ME IN eric andre meme. he’ll be nice :( give him a chance don’t pass this up c’mon

sour candy (b) - give her a second to thaw out, she’ll get there

mary on a cross (t) - another nudge. he’s not scared off at all.

love song (b) - :)

[marmolita]

are we just cursed in December or??? details behind the cut, cw for cancer, death (don't worry me and my husband and kids are fine)

So last December we went to visit my family for the holidays as usual and it was kind of a total nightmare. Mr Lita was having panic attacks because we found that chipmunks had excavated a city under our porch and destabilized it and he was afraid of rodents getting into our house, my sister had COVID, and Southwest airlines totally fucked up so that we had to book a different flight home days later than we intended. It was altogether a miserable month.

This year, my mom's coming out here and everything was looking good! Mr Lita was doing fine, nothing's wrong with the house, etc.

Except, we just found out his dad has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. This was literally a couple days ago so we don't have much info yet but his parents had a friend pass from pancreatic cancer recently and it was only six weeks from her diagnosis to passing. He's already trying to sort out his financial papers and make funeral plans and he hasn't even had a biopsy yet. I believe he intends to only seek palliative or hospice care, which tbh is very reasonable given the extremely short timeline for most people with pancreatic cancer.

The day after we found that out, my kid who has anxiety and emetophobia had her first major panic attack in months because having a cold with a wet cough freaked her out, and is still not quite back to her normal yet. We haven't told the kids about their grandpa's cancer yet.

My mom's coming out to spend the holidays with us next Friday and I'm like gosh!!! How am I gonna make this a fun holiday season for my kids when their grandpa is dying!!! How am I gonna make sure my anxious kid doesn't start having panic attacks about whether she herself might have cancer!!! I don't know if he's going to die in two weeks or a month or six months and I don't know how to plan fun things for my kids with the knowledge that we may have to cancel at any moment if things go south even faster than they already are.

My sister-in-law is on vacation in New Zealand for this entire month so gosh I hope he at least has a month of time so she can get back to see him. He has a biopsy on Tuesday and his first appointment with the oncologist the day after Christmas which seems interminably far away. I feel completely helpless to help my in-laws or my husband right now and I fucking suck at keeping a brave face because i will cry at a moment's notice.

We're going to have to tell the kids tomorrow I think because my brother-in-law is gonna come down and they'll want to get together and so they'll need to know. I know it's better for my kids if I can be calm and confident talking to them about it but I simply cannot have a conversation about this without bawling.

And I wanted to do all this fun stuff with my kids and my mom for Christmas! And I know that my father in law wants my kids to be happy and having fun and not worrying about him! But how am I supposed to do that!! My sister and her family are coming a couple days after Christmas too and idk whether everything will be fine or whether there will be additional drama there. 😩 What do I do if he takes a turn for the worse very rapidly and doesn't even make it through the month?

I kind of hate how this part of it was easier at least when my dad passed away. He was in ill health for a long time and we knew he probably wouldn't be around more than another year but we didn't have a specific terminal outcome for most of that time so it was easy to not think about it too much. Then when he couldn't do dialysis anymore it was basically a very specific timeline and we knew he would not be around more than two weeks from that point. It was awful and I hated it but at least we knew.

[radiation-risk]

Sudden Sickness - Chapter 5

Holy fuck I’m writing. Anyways, this was gonna be made tomorrow, but seeing as we’re going to a concert as me and krash’s big gift this year, I don’t have the time to write it anytime but now.

@a-narcissists-warren for the fic idea (a singular shitpost)

anyways TWs are the usual rabies/sickness warnings plus mental breakdowns!! We’re also timeskipping about 4-5 days so keep this in mind.

Edited to update the TWs in the final cut.

Liam was worried. This was the first time he’d truly felt fear concerning Airy rather than Airy harming him. Airy could barely drink water, and food was the only liquid source he’d be able to consume in good amounts.

Airy, however, was confused. He knew what was going on around him, but he couldn’t think straight at all. Lights were too bright. Who was this backpack guy again? Why does he spend all his time in that cave? He could no longer tell. He could finally sleep, as the silver wolf in his dreams was gone. Gone. Like everything else that came to his mind.

Liam was talking to the contestants, asking for any bits of advice he could get. There was nothing coming from them. They couldn’t help with sicknesses like those, because they were so used to living in cities, thus meaning they’d never encounter one. There was one contestant who knew a few things as a guy from the woodlands up north, but even he wasn’t a good help.

One quote from that man, however, raced in Liam’s mind. “That Airy guy is done gone. Expect a death in three days or sooner.” He said that one day ago. Airy could die at any moment. With that in mind, Liam began to cry.

He couldn’t do anything. Nobody could. What would The Waiting Room even have in store for him if he couldn’t even think right? Would Airy be cured, like how he had his leg suddenly fixed when he drowned? It was a horrid thought.

Airy was walking in circles in the cabin. There wasn’t much else to do except exhaust himself of the last energy he had. Everything. Most memories, basic thoughts, knowledge from years upon years, gone. It was a death trap that night anyways. Should’ve known better.

Questioning was the first thing that came to Liam’s mind. He tried to ask the contestants things. Should there be a burial? Or should his corpse be tossed to the world and let nature do its thing? These questions plagued him. It’s only the first thing you think of when someone is to die, after all.

Either way, the ending wouldn’t be a great one.

[crazy-pages]

RWBY Volume 10 Ending

So I've been mulling over this for a bit, and did anyone else feel like there was a huge disconnect between Ruby before Ep 10 and during it?

Like, Ruby learned her mom lied, so the pedestal she put her mom on wasn't real. And I get that that's supposed to make her realize she doesn't need to put herself on a pedestal either.

But also like ... that doesn't follow for me? Ruby was crazy depressed. Suicidally so. And you're telling me that she saw her mom lying to her husband right before she died on a mission where she made a mistake (in evaluating the risk if nothing else), and suicidally depressed Ruby sees that positively? Rather than, "Wow! Guess Mom was a fuck up too! Even she couldn't do it, she lied to her family and then died and left us all alone, before of course that's what happened. What hope is there for me?"

Like, there is a good lesson for Ruby to learn from her mother's (pretty mild tbh) fallibility. But I just feel like it wasn't delivered in a way where Ruby's response made sense?

And also, Ruby learns it's okay to not be perfect and let people down, allowing her to ... wait for it ... kick ass as the most perfect version of herself and leave behind a world which, despite chaos and destruction from their presence and the permanent annihilation of a key part of the ecosystem, is gonna be just fine? So she doesn't have to grapple with the complexities of failure?

Like, to split it up into three parts-

Combat Trauma: Ruby got outclassed and almost choked to death by Neo and it understandably fucked her up. To the point where she couldn't even touch her weapon, which is practically her baby. There's a lot of interesting ways to resolve that, from her deemphasizing combat and becoming more of a smith, to her being supported and slowly reinforced by her team in low-stress spars, to being reminded that fighting has a purpose rather than just being a series of horrors inflicted on her. And there's interesting ways to carry that thread forward too, with shaking hands, consciously steadied breaths, a more serious demeanor, a consciously and deliberately more upbeat demeanor.

But we get none of that. Literally nothing in the tree-space has anything to do with her combat trauma, and she comes out swinging better than she ever has in her life. Her arc resolution to the terror of being outclassed in a life or death battle is just to get good and outclass her opponent, basically.

Failure Complex: This gets addressed after Ruby recovers from her crisis of faith. We see the world has banded together, not all hope is lost, and Ruby's last ditch effort in Atlas did make things better, despite all the deaths and destruction.

But after. None of this contributes to Ruby's recovery. She doesn't encounter any of the civilians who fell into the Ever-After have them tell her, "Hahaha, wait you're beating yourself up? Ma'am I get it, things were awful, but we'd be being eaten alive by Grimm right now if not for you. We do not blame you." She doesn't see this reconciled world in the tree-space and recover. She doesn't even come to terms with failure as a possibility one has to move on from, because Somewhat is going to fix it all (again, after Ruby's already out, so it doesn't contribute to her recovery anyway).

Leadership Stresses: Ruby doesn't even get to hear her friends say they'll bear some of the load, or that she doesn't have to handle everything herself. The fact that the weight of the world is too much for her to bear on her shoulders (which, very reasonable, very anxiety provoking) straight up does not get addressed. Except insofar as she just ... decides that yeah, she can take the weight of the world on her shoulders now!

And that??? Just??? There was an entire volume before this??? About how that exact attitude drove her into a depressive spiral culminating in a suicide attempt??? But it's better now because ... because her mom lied to her dad once?????

I really liked most every other part about Ruby's arc so far. I think she's a very well done character with a lot of depth. I dunno, it just feels like "inner spiritual journey" got penned in as how Ruby goes from traumatized and depressed to her kickass positive leader self again, and then RWBY forgot to actually have her come to terms with the negative things she was spiraling over.

[louisisveryfake]

HELLLLLO here's some things about koalas to make your day a bit better. to begin, i would like to state that it makes no sense that koalas havn't gone extinct, but they are and they're adorable and it's lowkey funny so this is why

- koalas are certified smooth brains. like literally, the more wrinkles your brain has the more surface area for neurons and therefore the smarter you can be, and koalas brains are *concerningly* smooth. also, they have one of the smallest brains in proportion to body weight of any mammal. they have tiny, smooth brains. they're dumb as fuck. it's iconic

- koalas have no natural predators. not becuase they're dangerous, they just don't have any. nothing eats koalas, which leads to my next point that...

- koalas have literally no purpose. they hold an absurd biological niche. they don't control eucalyptus population, their poop doesn't give nutrients to the soil, and as i said earlier, they arn't prey. if all the koalas died this instant literally it would not affect anything. except the mental health of everyone, becuase koalas are cute as fuck.

- given all this, you might think that koalas are just super hardy and super good at surviving. wrong. koalas are unreasonably picky. koalas are so picky with their diet that they'll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born. koalas will PHYSICALLY NOT EAT anything that is not from their very precise home range. they would rather STARVE TO DEATH than eat leaves from a suburb over.

- koalas also have a floating ribage, which means that if you pick them up wrong you can literally just break their ribs and cause extreme major organ damage. why? they sit in trees and do nothing so they don't need a good skeleton structure. based.

- also those leaves that they eat? they're EXTREMELY POISONOUS. and a key side affect of the poison is that it literally *shrinks their brain*. they eat poison ONLY (they only eat eucalyptus and nothing else), that also MAKES THEM STUPIDER. it's absurd.

- ahh, you must be thinking, eucalyptus leaves must be super foods then. wrong. these leaves also have almost NO nutritional value, so koalas have to sleep *all* the time. koalas have so little nutrition that they can't afford to be awake and do stuff. they have to sleep all the time otherwise they run out of energy

- also becuase they're so dumb you have to give them leaves presented on branches and also they will only eat the tips of said leaves. if you gave a koala a bunch of eucalyptus leaves and put them flat on the ground the koala would have absolutely zero fucking idea what to do becuase they're so dumb they can't deal with any change.

- eating leaves and chewing them takes a *toll* on your teeth (woah), so most herbivorus animals have adaptations to ensure that their teeth keep up to the task of eating. KOALAS DON'T. eventually their teeth just grind down to nothing and they literally starve to death. THAT IS HOW KOALAS DIE

- finally they fall off trees so much that their brains have developed basically a crash helmet so they don't die.

koalas fucking spit in the face of natural selection and we STAN THEM for it. they exist purely by luck and they are iconic and cute and adorable and need to be protected at all costs. do not mistake this as koala hate, they are my idols and they are amazing and i love everything about them thank u for coming to my ted talk

[kob131]

"Roast: Avalon Le Fay and Morgan’s whole set up. Like, civilization wise. Put as much plot related stuff in as you like at least." you got this ask before but you didnt know much about the plot so I would like to here it again know that you do know

Well I forgot about that ask before so very well.

You know, it's a personal theory of mine that Mordred picked up her administrative talents from Le Fay. I mean, it makes some kind of sense. Le Fay, or at least one of her personalities, grew up under Gorlois, the Duke of Cornwall, then Uther alongside Igraine. Naturally at some point, she must have picked up some level of ruling know-how. And Mordred knowing these kind of skills despite having never been raised like an heir by Arturia kind of knocks it down to Le Fay passing it on, if only to try and trick her into thinking she'd actually get the throne.

The reason why I bring this up is because it kind of puts into perspective just how much a fuck up LB Morgan really is in the ruling department. Yeah, the Fae are nothing but selfish, entitled bastards who do nothing but take the most dickish route possible to their goals but that's in their nature- they lack human morals as well as human pragmatism to know that all this backstabbing would kill them off. But at the point that Morgan showed up- She knew all this. She knew the Fae were effectively ungovernable creatures, down to their very nature. She knows that everything about them yearns for death and the end of their world for the sins they committed, to the point of incarnating a version of VORTIGERN to kill them all. And yet she still decided to rule over them.

Not out of ideals or beliefs mind you. She abandoned her ideals and beliefs as a person when she became a tyrant. Morgan gets next to NOTHING out of this situation except some vague love for Britan that Le Fay had and passed on. But the thing is- Britan WANTS the Fae to die. Britan WANTS them to all die off and for the Fairy Isle to crumple for their sins. The aforementioned Vortigern is an INCARNATION of its will to die- she is going against the wishes of the very thing she supposedly loved. And all for what at that point? Not her happiness, not the Fae's happiness and certainly not Sith's. She went through all that pain and effort for...what in the end? Instinct? Routine? Proving a point to Arturia? Nothing. She got nothing in the end.

And the saddest thing? It didn't NEED to be that way. By the time Sith came around- it was a Lostworld. Morgan along with whoever she wanted could have just crossed the barrier of light and escaped that accursed land and lived outside of it. Yeah, the world is barren but Chaldea still exists. Morgan could have helped them unbleach the planet and give Sith a place to live in peace. She could have taken the child she supposedly cared for, given up her foolish dream and give her a better life. And not, I dunno, ignore her 99% of the time, bitch at her when the child SHE raised screwed up and do nothing to help her. For fuck's sake, MORDRED has a better sense of self and self esteem than Sith. And Mordred bases her identity in no small part on Arturia with about as much self esteem as her dad.

You wanna know what the one thing that really proves how foolish Morgan was at the end? Even assuming Morgan survived killing Cerennous, which considering Arturia Caster's end is unlikely- She would have STILL needed to deal with Oberon. Or rather, Oberon-Vortigern, someone commanding what is basically a mobile black hole that Morgan has shown no counters against. And even if she did- Oberon could easily just summon some catepillars to fuck with her and then have her fall into the damn thing. And all because she ordered Barghest to burn the Welsh forest to the ground, killing all the insect fae...who were keeping Vortigern in check under the guise of Oberon. Morgan's own actions KILLED her country.

She worked for nothing and then killed her own chances at any meaning. And it's all her fault.

[newtedison]

my thoughts on the maze cutter

if you somehow don’t know what this is, it’s the new maze runner sequel that takes place 73 years after the events of the death cure. spoilers ahead.

i’ll be honest i finished reading this over a week ago and i’m very tired but i just realized i hadn’t posted my opinions yet and if i don’t do it now, i’ll just forget again.

for starters i don’t have the sort of seething rage for this book that i did for the crank palace. the primary reason is that this book is so far removed from the original canon and has almost all new characters, so i don’t really feel like it’s messing with something that i’m passionate about. i never had a real feeling or headcanon for how the safe haven/world would turn out after the series ended so i don’t care about the way he envisioned it, and in fact a lot of it makes sense. and the new characters are just that, new, so i have no attachment towards them that makes me more sensitive to the material, which is what happened with newt and the crank palace.

however this has also slingshotted in the opposite direction where i basically don’t care about the events of the book, or it’s characters, at all. this is for a few reasons that i’m going to try and simplify because once again, i am tired

there is simultaneously too much and too little happening in this book. right out the gate he throws like 20 new concepts at you with very little explanation and is constantly bouncing POVs so much that you get whiplash. it’s both information overload and incredible vagueness. i forgot that this was dashner’s forte, i.e. purposefully withholding information in ways that often don’t make sense in canon. now i don’t care if everything isn’t explained at the beginning, it’s natural in a narrative for information to be revealed gradually or at a later, more meaningful time. but that’s not what’s happening here. he’s just like okay here’s the orphans and they are nameless people except this one guy and here’s the godhead and the flare gives you superpowers okay back to the safe haven people. like HUH?! it just feels so far removed from the original trilogy. and honestly the concepts on their own i don’t hate but i feel like they should have just gotten their own books. like the godhead stuff should have been more fleshed out as it’s own thing, maybe with the remnant nation stuff included. if there was anything i would have wanted from a maze runner sequel (which i didn’t) i would have wanted to learn more about the safe haven, which we get shockingly little of, including the characters. some of them literally die at the end and it doesn’t even matter. it means nothing.

and i know that there will be two more books coming which...One Fear. so obviously the characters and lore etc will be expanded more in the other two. but that doesn’t make this feel any less like an outline rather than a real book. i’m sure other people who know more about writing could break down why it feels like this. i just know that nothing feels developed, nothing feels earned, and it needs to be cleaned up and tightened up. if he removed the 10+ shit and piss jokes (i’m not kidding) and replaced them with, like, character development, that would have been awesome.

my one real complain that invokes emotion in me is the few instances involving newt. the book’s prologue is of thomas receiving newt’s journal basically right after they arrive at Paradise and lamenting over his loss. then there’s a time jump, and at the start of each new Part, a section from newt’s journal is quoted. it’s called The Book Of Newt which is indicative of the deity that dashner is making him. a lot of the excerpts are written in a way that don’t really sound like how newt would talk, and he’s strangely wise like a sage old man. it’s revealed that newt’s journal is considered essential reading in the developed Paradise’s schools, almost like a literal Bible. and then.........at the fucking end, it’s revealed that HIS BLOOD has been saved in vials because HE IS THE CURE. now this is implied somewhat at the beginning since kletter is looking for newt OR sonya’s descendents, but straight up saying that newt’s blood is the cure is. what. hello? like all of these choices combined with the crank palace and the general attitude towards newt has made him expanded beyond what he should. just because the fandom has attached to this character doesn’t necessarily mean we want him to become the most special boy in the universe. i think arguably what draws a lot of people towards newt is the fact that he’s just a regular guy who got drawn a bad and unfair hand. the tragedy of it is compelling. when you start to expand it, you lose the meaning of the original story. it’s not necessary. but i guess to dashner, it is. whatever.

anyway tldr the concepts and bones had some potential but were incredibly underdeveloped and dashner should just stay away from newt forever

[21ate]

I feel as though you must've spoken about this when it came out, but what is your interpretation of the EMH finale "Introductions" and how it relates to the themes of the audience as an antagonist in EMH as a whole? (If that doesn't appeal to you as a topic, just talk about your interpretation of the finale in general and what it means for the narrative?) <3 Happy 4 years since the finale

wow thanks for the great question!

so, i think that the audience and vinny are very similar in that both perpetuated misery and did so unknowingly. vinny hurt people and we helped it happen just by merely giving it views. those unfortunate enough to go further often met gruesome ends

however, i’m not sure the audience is as much an antagonistic force as vinny is, and that is why it’s important that vinny chooses to give up the camera in the end

sure, we the audience have been “unknowing accomplices” as habit puts it, and yeah…we found entertainment in watching these peoples lives fall apart. we’re enablers as well as a feeding ground for man and habit

but vinny, no matter his intention, no matter the narrative he tries to spin about himself, repeats one simple mistake: broadcasting it for everyone to see

the mere action of doing so dooms everyone. there’s nothing we the audience can do to stop anything. we’re the spawn that just keeps growing, existing for creatures like habit and man to feed on. and they do so through people like vinny

i don’t think vinny learning his lesson after death is meant to be ironic, that it’s meaningless because in a hypothetical next iteration he’ll just forget, rinse and repeat forever. i think this is the only way to begin undoing their curse

see, each time the guys die and enter the candleverse, they retain the knowledge of the life they just experienced. when we first see the candleverse gang, we see the guys speculating about what’s about to happen prior to the the emh iteration beginning

these guys have come from the princeton iteration, so their knowledge of what’s going on is limited by their experience up to that point. which is frankly just a lot of misery and no explanation

except… princeton vinny was told the answer in tape 3. so when he died, candleverse vinny already had a good idea how the next iteration would play out. he knew he’d be responsible

in the morse code video, c!vinny seems pretty nonchalant about everything, having learned he’s the center of so many problems. patrick basically told him that he’s just gonna keep fucking up so why bother telling jeff or evan. he doesn’t care that there���s a cameraman watching them, even seeming to invite it

with this in mind i don’t believe c!jeff and c!evan truly knew the extent of the problem until they found each other again during the emh iteration. at this point they now would know about their roles, and we know they eventually figure out that by watching we are contributing to the problem (the ghost tweet telling us to stop watching, posted by evan and jeff from the candleverse)

thus, i believe that what vinny says about the camera in the end is significant:

“we don’t need it”

evan and jeff (and steph by default) already know that; it’s not something they struggle with. if we believe vin has changed then why include them when he’s the main instigator?

obviously it’s because he’s referring to the audience as well. he’s cutting us off, saying we don’t need to see the rest

this is a change in attitude from the c!vinny we saw back in the morse code video

sure, maybe this doesn’t rectify their problem entirely, but it’s an important step forward. just like any trauma or addiction, recovery is a journey and it starts with admitting you have a problem, which vinny does; and he takes it a step further by swearing off the camera. cold turkey.

man this isn’t even mentioning the implications of the north star but i’ve been trying to answer this ask for long enough so maybe i’ll do that separately

anyways thanks again and pls id love any follow up questions!