#BOON YOURE THE FUCKING BEST N YOU DESERVE THE BEST

[lamina-tsrif]

Walls and Friends

Everyone hits a wall.Sometimes, the wall is very big, and visible from very far away. Big walls that you can see from far away give you time to figure out how to go around them. And if they don’t, you still have the time to build tools to climb over them, or dig through them.Sometimes the wall is very small, but catches you off-guard. It doesn’t take a lot to get around or over or through a small wall, but you’re not expecting a wall until the last second, and you don’t have any tools ready. Annoying, but at least small enough to deal with easily enough.

And sometimes, the wall is invisible.You don’t know a wall is coming until you run into it face first. You don’t know how big it is, or whether there’s a path around it. You don’t know what material it’s made of, so you don’t know what kind of tool would be best to climb it, or dig through it. Invisible walls were a pain in the keister.Especially since anyone else would just tell you to walk forward, because they couldn’t see the wall. Some people didn’t know about invisible walls, and thought other people just didn’t feel like moving on. Dealing with people who didn’t believe in invisible walls was almost more infuriating than the invisible walls.

Lamina had hit an invisible wall.It wasn’t the first time they had hit a wall, not even the first invisible one. That did not make it any more pleasant to smack into one face first.They had been focused on a wall in the distance - a big but very visible wall, made of a few different materials. A wall of Work, coming in their path soon in various forms, and needing various tools. Lamina had been crafting the tools to deal with the big Work wall.

And then they’d gotten cold-clocked by an invisible wall.It had knocked them from the sky, and the fall to the ground had hurt them a lot. Getting up would be a lot of work before they could even start trying to deal with either of the walls.And so for a bit, Lamina just lay there in the dirt, coughing blood with limbs akimbo, wishing that the wall wasn’t there.

A soft rustling sound from behind Lamina made them slowly turn their head. It was hard to see through the dirt on their glasses.Something poked at their glasses, fuzzy and bright, and when it pulled back there was a little less dirt on their glasses.In front of them sat a pig, wearing a crown that was too big and had fallen upside-down around its neck. It bore two balls of red and green, the same shades as Lamina wore.This pig was a friend, Boon. Lamina and Boon had been friends for a long time, and even though they didn’t talk as much as they used to, Lamina was happy to see Boon again.

Boon sat back on its haunches, cleared its throat, and started shaking the balls - pom-poms.“Ra! Ra! Sis-boom-ba! You can do it, La-mi-na!” The voice was rough and low for a pig, and a little silly in the way one sounds when one doesn’t care about sounding silly.It waved the pom-poms high, and it waved the pom-poms low, and it waved the pom-poms so strongly it nearly fell backwards.“Ra! Ra! Sis-boom-ba! You can do it, La-mi-na!”

Lamina stared at Boon.Boon stared at Lamina, and shook the pom-poms again.They both began to laugh.

And then Boon set the pom-poms down, and grabbed Lamina’s collar with its teeth. It gently helped Lamina roll back into a position that was a little more comfortable, laying down next to it.“Hit a wall?" Lamina nodded, sighing. "Want to draw. But I have to get past the Work wall, and there’s another one in the way.”Boon nodded solemnly. “Invisible. Hit a lot of those myself.”“How did you deal with them?”Boon’s piggy lips tilted back in a smile. “Got help. A lot of it from you.”

Lamina looked over at Boon. Boon looked back.“A lot of the days I was writing, I hit my own walls. But I would look through it, and see you waiting on the other side. And you were always so happy to see me that I just had to make it through the wall. And sometimes, you would help me through it, seeing things I couldn’t.”It was true. It felt like a long time ago, and no time at all.

“So whenever you want to get up,” Boon said, stretching and wiggling back onto its feet, “and take another crack at the wall, I’ll be here. You can lay down for a bit if you want, though - you hit it pretty hard. And I can wait.”Lamina watched the pig pick up the pom-poms again, brushing the dirt off them. Boon looked back, and wiggled them.“Ra! Ra! Sis-boom-ba! You can do it, La-mi-na!”

—–

aka ur little drawing inspires me as always, and i’ll help you with any walls I can, even if all i can do is pom-pom

[arttrampbelle]

Ok mini vent. I think most people can agree. Regardless of who your fave or main is.

But especially if you're old school fans like me. But hey even if you are new,some people who dont know know it doesn't feel right either. And that should be a clue as to why kung laos new characterization is bullshit.

The biggest crime NRS,boon,and game devs for 9,10,and 11 but especially 11,did was to make kung lao a mockery of what he is supposed to be,used to be,and actually is.

Arrogant my asscrack! He never was! His pride comes from his pride of being a warrior and his culture. His anger? Comes from his family being fucked over and his ancestor being killed (maybe wrongly im not sure dont quote me) like hanzo and sonya (maybe kuai or bi han) gets a revenge arch and nobody talks shit. But lao does it and suddenly its a problem ?! Like foh! Kung lao legit kicked quan chi and shang tsungs asses for killing off liu kang his oldest friend and brother. His shaolin bromie. Like ffs people. This man legit left the order to go fist fight these two bastards. (Whom i think is also awesome dont get it twisted. I love the bad guys too but narratively,yeah they deserved it). Like kung lao all he wanted to do was avenge his ancestors wrong death. Like fr. Thats it. Sure you could add struggles,pain,maybe jealousy,but dont be a douchenoodle obnoxious about it. And thats the problem. In mk11 they are caricatures of what their characters are supposed to be. 30yrs down the toilet for commercializing mk for people to "easily digest" but oh because it still has blood n gore they look past the bad writing?!

Like other gripes aside. Kung lao and liu kangs trashing of their characters burns me the most. Like no offense to people but this shit was my childhood,these two were like friends to me (abit i might have crushed haaaard of kung lao i wholeheartedly admit no shame there. But that aside) so for them to be treated in canon like they're doing. Is just disrespectful. It's like someone trashing your friend. It hurts. But also its just wrong. Period.

No i will forever be salty how they did him so wrong and continue to do him wrong.

Kung lao deserves better. (They all do even liu kang which also pisses me off because lao and him are equals and are supposed to be equals but these dumbass writers and some people think liu is goku for some damn reason and it mocks what liu is supposed to be. Firey but humble. Lao is supposed to be the level headed,chill humble one. And also more deadlier than liu but he holds back on purpose. Liu had to work for that humbling,and he did. Both are bros and friends and y'all treat them like dirt and pit them against each other for no reason. And it pisses me off. But that's besides the point)

Lao is best boy. And i will die on that hill.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone x Fem!PleasantValleyResident!Reader

Title: Throuple

Notes:

Granny Boone is bisexual and you can’t change my mind. 

This is way too long I’m sorry. My excuse? Its self indulgent that's why and I wrote it over the course of 2 days, both at night time so... 

Pick whichever Buckman you like best. 

Plot: 

Boone and Buckman just care a lot about you! A looooooot, a lot. Like, so much. A colossal amount, really- but you’ve never heard of a ‘throuple’ before.

Warnings: Uhh, polyamory? Sexual harassment, hint towards rape (Not of you or any known characters but still), 2001 Maniacs craziness? Reader might also have a mental illness, I don't know. Its not explicitly stated and I’m just the writer so how would I know? But she is really tired. Laziness in the last written sentence. I haven't edited the last half, so it might be illegible... In the morning I probably will edit. 

~~~

SET: Before the massacre, so everyone is alive except the 2001 Maniacs victims who have yet to be born because this is 1860

“Hey Y/N!” One of the men from table three - was it William or was it Lawrence? I don’t know, whoever-it-is’ voice is too slurred at this point for me to figure. Turning away from the table I was wiping off, I tuck the washcloth into the waistband of my apron and raise an eyebrow vaguely towards the table. “Come over here a moment, wouldja?”

“Why?” Now, usually, I would go over; No question. But its nearly closing time now, and its dark, and men like to get rowdy at this time, and I’ve been burned by that shtick before. Resting my working hands, course and strong, on my hips, I raise my eyebrows.

Put on a cold front and they’ll lose interest. Uh, usually.

“Just wanna get a betta look atcha! Larry here says you got a flat ass, but I got 3 coins on yer plump bottom. Y’ wouldn’t want me losin’ coin, would you?? Come on, now, just stand over here and lemme ‘ave a look-see. Wont even touch!” William, as I can now see, shows off his grotty yellow teeth in a wide grin.

He honestly think’s that crap will fly? He really, truly believes I’ll just submissively walk over to them and bend the fuck over?

What the hell do they take me for? I’m a waitress, not a prostitute.

Instead of snapping at them though I merely sigh, and clap my hands in a finished manner. “Come on boys, time to go home. It’s closing time and my snuggly warm bed’s calling out t’ me. Aren’t yours’? Come on, then!”

Groans and protests are my response, but the long drunk and tired men - they’re here after a long day of work in some mines, - get up and head for the exit to my building despite their complaints. I know neither of them are staying in any of the hotel rooms above, so that’s where they’ll go and that’s where I herd them. Out the saloon doors and down the street. I shoo them all the way, curbing their complaints with ‘Think about lovely dreams’, and ‘You can come back tomorrow for breakfast!’. Once we’ve gotten to the door, I wave them off, dish cloth in hand. “Goodnight boys, see you in the morn- Ah!” A high-pitched shriek comes out of me and is released into the cold night-time air in a puff of visible gas in the lamp light as I whip around. Someone pinched my-

“Theodore.” I gasp, eyebrows furrowed as I use my fists to cover my ass as I look up defensively at the tall, roguish looking man. I thought he left hours ago!

How dare he-

“Definitely plump / flat, boys!” He calls out to the two that are heading down the street, receiving raised hands in goodbye and laughs in response. Probably disgusting comments, too, but the mix of how far away their retreating backs are becoming, and the alcohol in their systems making their words blur together like flour and eggs mean that I thankfully don’t hear them with any sort of clarity. Theodore looks back down at me and smirks. “You said something about a warm snuggly bed, Miss?”

“Yes. Yours is a couple blocks from here. Be free to go forth, right now.” I roll my eyes, slipping around him so he’s closer to the door. He twists around and runs a hand through his greasy hair that’s far too long, and would be fair if he ever let water touch it. Good lord man, go see Al the barber and maybe you’ll learn some manners along the way.

“Aw, are you mad at me now Y/N?”

“Just cross.”

“I know a fun way we could work through those passionate feelin’s together, darlin’- “

Another voice joins the fray, just as I’m worrying if Theodore will ever actually leave, or more seriously- If he will ever actually pull through with the comments like that that he always makes towards me. “Oh, what’s that?”

Theodore and I look out to the street immediately to see who’s interrupted him. Who, with such a high and feminine voice, has had the audacity. Who, has become simultaneously his annoyance, and my saving grace.

My eyes land on Boone, and a grin makes its way over my lips. She looks cross herself, hands on her hips, shoulders anchored towards Theodore in a way a mother might look at her son when she is…

Totally pissed off.

I waive my dish cloth at her from behind Theodore. “Good evening, Boone!”

She doesn’t so much as say anything back, just glances at me and then back at the problem- Theodore. Oh man, if I were him I’d be backing off now. Boone scares everyone, me included. Not that I have to worry, she’s made it clear that she cares about me.  

… A little too much, but still. That’s neither here nor there right now. I’m glad she’s here!

“I think I heard some unsanitary comments comin’ from you, Mr Miller. At least I hope they were just comments. Why don’t you go on and apologise to our deserving waitress Miss L/N, before I let the Mayor know what you’re up to here. I believe he warned your ass last time we caught you cornering her.” Boone’s eyes darken on him and I wonder if I could slip off to the side and clean off the last table; the one William and Lawrence were at previously, so I can retire sooner. She’s got this all under control, if I know her.

But then Theodore just rolls his shoulders back, and the air around him seems to still. “You know, Miss Boone, I never see either you or our esteemed mayor every kickin’ up such a damn fuss over anyone else in this town. I mean, shit. I had some devilish fun with Miss Lyla the other day and you didn’t do nothin’!” A smirk slowly rolls over his mouth as he looks back at me for a moment, caging me in those dark, weaselly eyes for a moment. Oh, crap.

Boone, though, doesn’t even bat an eye.

But before she can say another word, yet another familiar voice calls from the shadows. I look down the path the way Boone was headed down before she heard Theodore and I and stopped by, to see Buckman walking down towards her. What are these two doing taking walks at 11 at night for, anyway? Why aren’t they together?? Seems a bit choreographed, to me. Let me just add that to all the reasons they creep me out.

Now, our Mayor is shorter than Theodore, who is much like a weasel in that he’s skinny, smelly and long, but that doesn’t make him an any less intimidating presence against him. Even with cheer in his eyes and his hands carefully in his pockets, its always been clear from the get-go, that he’s a force to be reckoned with. Its something about the way he holds all of his emotions inside, I’ve always thought. Mixed with the knowledge that he’s fought in a war.

It’s why we voted for him.

“Oh, uh, Mr Mayor.” Theodore swallows down a gulp of spit, stepping forward out of my saloon, finally. “Sir!” I take a deep breath and let it out, relieved, going straight to the doors and wedging myself between them; blocking him from coming back in and ready to shut the doors again as soon as I can. I don’t want Theodore coming back in, but I also don’t want to be left alone with either of these two nutters’, either.

Oh, by ‘nutters’, I mean ‘pillars of the community’… Mostly, I mean that. Uh, half.

Okay fine, they’re nuts.

“Mayor,” I greet, inclining my head for a moment politely.

“Evenin’ Y/N! I hope you’re not having too much trouble with this one.” Buckman immediately flashes me a bright, election winning smile. A real one. Like he always does when he see’s me.

“Well, he was. But I think Boones got it covered.” I grin back, unable to help it. He’s very charismatic!

Boone’s expression softens a bit and she relaxes her stance, giving me a little smile. “Thank you dear.”

“I’m sure she does.” Buckman agrees, and then they share a smile between them, and I look down at Theodore on the bottom step that leads to my saloon. Oh Jesus Christ, if he had suspicions before, then they are just growing now. This is just what I need!

I haven’t done anything, Theodore!! I promise!

Which is not to say I haven’t received countless offers, but I don’t need to be even thinking about that. Seeing as I declined. 

“Now, why don’t you head on home Theodore.” Buckman drops his nose to look up at Theodore with a little bit more menace and severity. “You’ve overstayed your welcome.”

“Good night sir! Boone, Y/N.” Finally, Theodore looks back over his shoulder at me, and then makes a break for it down the road past Boone. She gives him a stink eye for as long as she can before losing interest.  

And then its just me, Boone and Buckman in the stillness of the night.

And I wish I’d run off like Theodore.

“Well! Good night ya’ll! I got an early day tomorrow, so- “ I try to escape by weaving an excuse and locking the doors behind me, but it it’s not 2 minutes later when the only other set of key’s for this building stick into the lock, turn, and they walk on into my saloon. I sigh, now behind the counter washing cups.

Of course. He’s the mayor. Of course, they have keys.

Looking up at the ceiling, I pray for an easy time of it tonight. Please, let them be tired from their daily duties and they’ll go home soon.

I continue to wash glasses and plates and put them away, but I don’t get too far before Boone’s gone right ahead and helped herself to my special ‘only me’ area -behind the counter of my saloon,- and turns me around by the shoulders to look at me. “He didn’t touch you, did he?”

I sigh, and tell her. “No. I’m fine. You shouldn’t worry for me.” She really shouldn’t, not in the way she does. She has a husband.

The part where he didn’t touch me is obviously incorrect, but I better not mention that to these two.

“Even so, we do worry darlin’. Come on, sit down for a bit. Give us some peace of mind, at least.” Buckman, immediately on the other side of the counter, asks and I sigh. I’ve learnt, that if I don’t comply, then they’ll never leave. And besides, the things they ask of me are never bad. Just, sit down and talk with them. Play cards. Have a drink. Generally, just lovely things like that.

It’s the intent behind them that concerns me.

“Yes. I’ll go and get you some water.” Boone says with a No-‘If’s’-or-‘Buts’-about-it kind of tone, and I try to open my mouth and protest against that, but she’s already guiding me around the bench. When we reach the end, she deposits me with her mayoral husband, and he leads me the rest of the way to a table. I sit down, sighing simultaneously and he sits down next to me. “I’ll wash the glass; Don’t you worry about that!”

“That’s… “I blow air into one of my cheeks and blow out gradually. “… Not what I’m worried about… “

“Now, he didn’t do anything nasty, did he? He certainly had the intention.”

I shake my head and set my hands in my lap. I want to tell them what he did, I really do. I don’t know why, but I always want to tell them things.

But I retain the believe that I can’t. I shouldn’t be that close with either of them. “No, sir, I’m fine, really! That’s not even as bad as some other men get at this time of night, anyway. I could have handled- “A moment after I’ve admitted the fact that other men have been worse than what Theodore just suggested to me, I pause. And peer guiltily up at Boone instead of Buckman as she hands me the water she promised and then sits down on the other side of me. “… I haven’t helped my case, have I?”

“No.” She laughs.

Maybe I do need this water.

I take a sip and look at neither of them, instead settling my focus on this glass of water and the far wall. I really need to repaint that wall…

While I do this, and they talk to each other about their day, I ponder my situation.

Now, I… I don’t consider myself a judgemental person. I don’t care what any folks do behind closed doors, in their bedrooms. Man and woman, woman and woman, man and man. But I am damn sure that it is only supposed to include 2 people. I’ve never heard of couples that are more then that, unless you count cults and I don’t.

So, it’s not that I don’t care for them both. Not at all. Its that I can’t be with them both, like they’ve asked, like they want. I can’t.

I’d like to be that open minded, I would, but… I just can’t picture it.

___TIME SKIP: Modern Day___

Since they arrived, I’ve been peering a little too long to be polite at a few of the newest group of victims. I’m a little worried that they’ve noticed, but I’m also really curious. I just can’t tell who is a couple and who isn’t. There is a particular group of 3, that’s throwing me off. I definitely saw the blonde one kiss the ginger one, but then I also swear saw the ginger one and the brunette ones holding hands. Could that just be a friendly thing? It had a pretty intimate feel, to me.

Now, I stand on the porch of my saloon, leaning my forearms onto the railing as I watch them. Buckman’s still with them, along with half- no, the rest of the town, remaining town I should say, inviting to the annual ‘guts and glory jubilee’. At this point, I really don’t get why any of these kids stay. Maybe it’s just because I know what going to happen to them.

Or maybe, its because this generation of kids are morons.

‘Guts and Glory Jubilee’? I mean, really? At first it was clever, but it was only a temporary name for the trap. And now its been a hundred years and its still called the same thing, and my saloon’s always full with disrespectful modern teenagers and my friends acting like loons to keep them there, and the kids aren’t getting any brighter. Too blinded by the way us Pleasant Valley women dress, and the inviting way we all -men and women alike, - smile, and laugh. They’re none the wiser to our plot.

Like I said, Morons.

As I’m watching the usual show on Buckman explaining with bright theatrics what a fun time it’ll be and how they should stay, as our honoured guests, I catch the eye of one of those guests. The blonde one from before, that kissed the ginger one. They smile through the awkward, accidental eye contact, and I paste on a smile back- too old and too tired to care about the awkwardness. I keep the contact until the moment they look away, honestly too tired to look away first.

I just want to go.

Where everyone else did. My parents, my fiancé, my… god, even my fucking cat… Where they went. Before we were massacred. Heaven, or hell, or wherever the hell we go after real, no consciousness death. Where we can’t, until 2001 of these dumbass teenagers die.

I just have to hold on a little longer.

A little while later, they agreed to stay and I went off into my saloon, ready to great them and serve them drinks. And clean tables, and fight off bastards trying to get a drunken feel, and snap back at rude ass, degrading miscreants who think I’ll just stand by and let them call me names.

Which is what I’m busy with now, as I dry off a now clean glass, ready to be filled with my sub-par rum again. A loud, brutish call of ‘Hey, any fucking rum left? Waitress!’ interrupts my quieter, calmer thoughts of fantasising about seeing my family again right after the saloon doors absolutely slam open. I whip around and am ready to have Jonathon, the only man in this saloon that I even remotely enjoy the company of and my only employee, kick the bastard out when my voice escapes me. Instead, I roll my eyes in utter frustrated and groan. This is just what I need.

“Theodore, what have I told you about calling me waitress?! You know my name.” I exclaim through grit teeth, throwing my now damp dishcloth onto the bench with vigour, causing a couple boys at the bar to reel back with a few irritating, obnoxious ‘Oooh’s. Theodore slowly smirks in that easy way that he does, and drops down in the bench across from where I’m standing. “Yes, we have the revolting drink you love. You know, we have rum. You basically live here!” I throw him a greasy with my eyes. “Which reminds me, I’ve been meaning to ask you; Do you have a home?? Because I’d be happy to send you off with a weeks’ worth of rum if it means I’ll get some peace and quiet from you for that time!”

“Naw, baby, I come here for your company. If you came home with me for a week, that’d be a different story. I’d stay away easy! Just stay… in bed… with you.” He winks.  

Dropping the ferocity in my body language for a moment, I just deadpan at him. “You disgust me.”

“In the best way.” Theodore grins, then leans into the bar, evidently done with teasing me for now, if his serious expression tells me anything. “Anyway,” He starts, sounding exhausted now as his hair droops around his face and the smile officially leaves his eyes. “Drink?”

Because it’s my job, and because standing near a quiet Theodore is a welcome alternative then trying to make conversation with the teenage boys down the left side of the bar who ‘Ooh’ed me earlier, I pat the bar and grumpily head off for the rum and a glass. “Coming right up.”

While I do that, Boone and Buckman; The nutters, the pillars of the community, the mayoral couple and the banes of my existence, come into the saloon and take the table by the door. I ignore them though, pulling my own stool out from under my side of the bench and sitting down across from Theodore, pouring him his drink and sliding it to him. Jonathon can handle the rush for a few tiny minutes, while I sit for a second. “Thank you, darlin’.”

I don’t say anything back, because I don’t like to extend pleasantries to him of all people. Instead, I look around the room and do my usual assessment. The room’s loud, and full of people -Boone and Buckman took the last unoccupied table, and Theodore took the last stool, -, acting loud and having butt loads of fake fun. I don’t really care about that though; all I care about is that in a moment I’m going to have to get up and ask around for any more orders and clean some more cups and plates. For a second, I let my shoulders relax and I rest my hands on the bar in front of me. Strong, work woman’s hands.

“You noticed the ‘throuple’ in the new group?”

Oh, Theodore is still talking to me.

Joy.

“Huh?” I look up from my hands to meet his eyes momentarily, raising my eyebrows at him. What did he say?

“The throuple, that’s what they called it when I asked ‘em.” He smirks for a moment. “It’s a relationship between 3 people.”

“Why do I care? That sounds like their business.” I sniff, then wipe under my nose a moment and then move to fixing my apron over my chest. It had slid to the side while I was working, it seems.

For a glorious moment, he doesn’t respond. He just stays quiet, and I think how lovely his company is when he’s on the other side of the bar and is quiet.

Then I look up at him, still with my eyebrows up my forehead, and see he’s looking straight into my soul. A knowing, mischievous grin on his lips. Its as if he ironed it in that way, all creases and wrinkles on his face from smiling so much in his life.

But I know what he’s insinuating.

It’s a different world out there now, that’s apparently allowed. It happens. Romantic relationships between more then 2 people. Maybe I should reconsider my answer, to Boone and Buckman. Maybe it would work.

That’s what Theodore is saying with this look that is so annoyingly painted on his face.

And to that, I say fuck off.

Or I would, if I wasn’t a good, Christian lady.

Instead I shrug my shoulders at him and head off to check the tables. “It’s a whole new world out there!” I call back, successfully, hopefully, ending the conversation.

Where does he even get off making suggestions like that to me- he shouldn’t even be that sure of what was happening -what they were, or are still, trying to make happen, - to mention it to me in such a forward manner. I definitely didn’t tell anyone except my mirror, and my… bathroom sometimes… but I certainly didn’t say it above a whisper! He couldn’t have heard, even if he was snooping around like the creep he is.

And the other two definitely wouldn’t have said anything. They despise Theodore Miller even more then I do.

He must just be smart.

… huh.

Who knew? Theodore has a brain and not just a penis under that grease, sweat and soot covered flesh.

Like a coward, I hit every other table in the room before I get the one by the door. They obviously can tell that I’m trying to avoid them, because saloon procedure is obvious to get to the table that was most recently filled as soon as possible before any others, but I don’t really care. If Theodore and I noticed the, uh, ‘throuple’, then the mayor and his wife, definitely, did. And I’m dreading the conversation that is about to occur.

When I do, finally, start heading towards Boone and Buckman’s table, I notice Theodore turning around in his seat to drink and watch the scene.

With his knees spread wide like a heathen. Ugh! Not in my establishment. Before I get to the table, I show him my middle finger and he turns around, chuckling to himself.

Okay. I take a deep breath, and stop at the dreaded table.

“Good afternoon, Mr Mayor. Mrs Mayor.” I beam, a pasted smile that’s obviously fake. Luckily, because I don’t think I could handle any more embarrassment and pressure right now, and unluckily because I think anyone else’s attention might actually be preferred then these two’s right at any time, no one else is paying attention to see such a grin. “What’ll it be? Today we have beans and bread as the special- like always. “I take out my notepad and pen.

Not because I need them to remember orders, of course. Just to have something to focus on.  

“Good afternoon Y/N, why don’t you sit here with us for a bit? You look bone tired from takin’ care of this lot! It’s a full house today.” Boone asks, even going as far as using her foot to push out the other chair at the table that isn’t taken, for me to prospectively take.

Absolutely not.

“I am exhausted.” I find myself sitting down, instead of leaving like I should have. Immediately on feeling the tension leave my legs, I feel like collapsing onto this table and falling asleep. “Thank you.”

Leaning into my hands for a moment with my eyes closed will have to do. A feel a comforting hand pat my shoulder and it does feel better. “Why don’t you let Jonathon handle business for a little bit- we actually happened to have a talk the other day about him wanting more opportunities to advance. This would be a perfect opportunity for him! And you look warn, sweetheart.”

He shouldn’t call me that.

But it does sound good. Especially coming from Buckman. And with Boone looking so worried about me, too. It feels too nice a place to be, with them, to be wrong. “Uh, well, maybe… “

Then I look up, past Boone’s head and, by complete chance, on the blonde, brunette and ginger that have been the topic of the day…

And all of a sudden, momentary blind panic tears through me.

I jump up from my seat, the chair toppling down onto its back as I stand back on to my exhausted legs. it barely interrupts the volume of the room, so no one else really notices. But I do catch sight of Boone and Buckman’s faces, even more worried and a little bit hurt, before I stutter through an apology and an excuse about having to work, and I rush off back to the safety of my bar. Of course, Boone has been back here before, but I choose to ignore that little fact.

Theodore watches me with wide eyes, as all the tension in my person just grew to level a thousand intensity, as I call Jonathon over and ask him to take his lunch break now.

I don’t need any excuses to go and take my break. One of them, or both of them, might come and ask me if I’m okay. And I’m starting to forget why that’s such a bad thing, but I know there is a reason, and… Jesus Christ, I’ve never been so conflicted.

Because yes, the world outside of Pleasant Valley has come far. Like I said to Theodore, it’s a ‘whole new world’ compared to what it was when we were alive a century and a half ago.

But we’re in Pleasant Valley. And you only have to look around and see how different we dress and talk and move compared to these new present time people and you know; We aren’t part of that whole new world. Boone, Buckman and I don’t fit here.

Maybe if things were different.

Definitely if things were different, actually. I know, if they were, I would be there. I would be all in.

But I’m not and things aren’t different.

___

An hour later, and I’ve calmed down at this point. I still feel exhausted, now because I work so much and because of emotional baggage, but I don’t feel the racing heartbeat that made me sick before or the adrenaline that caused me to run away. So, it’s better… Stable again, at least.

I’ve convinced myself that if I don’t look their way. I can become numb again to the feelings they make in me. Its an idiotic notion, but its kind of the only thing keeping me still right now.

Merciless God, grant me a break. Amen.

The saloon is starting to quieten down for the night, as the light goes away outside and visitors disappear to their rooms -some with a partner they’ve only just met, some alone, some with friends they came with. It’s a big group this time, - upstairs in the hotel part of my building. I’m sitting back down in my stool behind the bench by the time the ‘throuple’-I’m still not sure about that word, - finally, FINALLY, decides to retire up to their room. I bid Jonathon a good night as he went home too, a little earlier to his wife and son, and waived shortly when Theodore pushed drunkenly off the bar and hobbled out the doors.

I lean heavily onto the bar myself, and watch the three go up the stairs together. The brunette’s holding the ginger’s hand now, and the blonde walks ahead of them and holds the key to their room.

After they disappear onto the second floor, I turn to look at who else I need to wait to leave, so I can go to bed myself. Mmm, I’ll take a long hot bath first, and light some candles to go with it. Most importantly, I’ll let my hair out of his too bloody tight ponytail!

“Ah, that’s sounds good.” I mutter, already imagining it as I push off the bench and go collect some plates and glasses that are left out on the tables and wipe them down for the last time today.

“Miss Y/N?” A familiar voice, Boone, calls the softest that I’ve ever heard it from the door. I look around quickly, ribbing the back of my aching neck to see no one else around. Huh, I hadn’t noticed I was alone.

It was nice.

Still, I flash her a tired, half smile. “I’m sorry for earlier.”

“I know. I’m sorry too. We should know at this point not to go so hard on you. You work all day harder than anyone, even Buckman but don’t tell him I said that.” She pauses, walking fully into my saloon and as if it were choreographed, we both sit down together at a table. “Actually, go ahead and tell him. Its true.” I grin despite myself, rolling my shoulders back and then leaning back in the chair- entirely taken over by exhaustion. I don’t even have energy to put up walls. Boone looks at me again and gives me a soft smile. “We want you to know always, that we care deeply for you, and whenever you’re ready you can join us. But… we also don’t want to stress you so much anymore. So, we’ll pull back- a little. If that pussy Miller tries anything on you again he will be dealt with.”

I nod, sighing. But, then again, why doesn’t that make me feel better? They’re going to leave me a bit more alone! I should feel relieved… but I do not. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I hate to see you so pent up.” A devious smirk touches her lips and her eyes. “I mean, I would like to help you with that in a different way then leaving you alone… But I will. Because I love you.”

I take a quick, deep breath. There it is. I never actually thought those actual three words would leave her lips aimed at me. But it’s the most natural thing in the world, tell her. “I love you too.” A wicked beam is my response from her at that.

“Can I hold yer hand?” Boone asks, offering her daintier hand across the table. Trying hard not to glance around for onlookers but failing, I take her hand.

It feels so nice, relieving, to hold it finally.

I take a deep breath, and whisper the next words. I want them out, I want to confide in someone. I’m sick of keeping everything to myself, I’m sick of being all alone. It’s by my own will, of course, but… it still hurts, all the same. “Boone, I-I’m just so… so weary, of everythi- “

Buckman interrupts me, turning up at the door. “Howdy, what’s going on in here?”

Boone ignore him, gathers up her skirts and gets to her feet. When she rounds the table to me, she drops them to the ground in favour of cupping my face in her hands instead. “I know. Why don’t you let go of one thing? Let us hold some of the load, sugar. Please.”

Finally, I can’t tell myself no. And I absolutely can’t tell her no. I glance from her to Buckman who has apparently read the atmosphere and now stands beside Boone. He smiles, like he always does at me. Like he feels it.

God, I want to feel a smile again.

And I lose the strength to do this all on my own anymore. I shakily get up from my seat and throw my arms around (You choose one or both, because I’m lazy and its bedtime for me).

[norequestimagines]

Safeguard [Pt. 3]

A/N; WHAT’S UP MOTHER FUCKERS, IT’S FINALLY HERE.I am genuinely so sorry this took as long as it did. I couldn't get the ending quite right. I suck at ending things. I just feel like it’s cheesy and not as tied up as I’d like but I hope y’all like it. Please let me know! CC is always welcome. 

trigger warning: arguing?

A soft yellow haze filled the room while the sun rose, shining through the window. I stretched and rolled over, my heart dropping when I realized Josh was gone, but my hope was quickly restored when I  saw the steaming mug full of coffee on the nightstand next to me. Soft metal- on-metal noises could be heard coming from the kitchen.

Josh stood at the stove, turning bacon with a fork and attempting to scramble eggs with a wooden spoon in his non-dominant hand. He’d jump when the bacon fat popped, splattering onto his bare abdomen.

“It doesn’t hurt if you’ve got a shirt on.” I giggled from the bottom of the staircase. 

He turned to smile at me before turning back to the bacon. “I didn’t hear you complaining about me being shirtless last night.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not complaining. Though, I might complain about the egg puck and burned bacon you’re working on, there.”

“Yeah… I was going for a whole thing here but I don’t think I have a future as a chef.” He grumbled, placing his hands on his hips and scowling at his failed attempt at a breakfast. 

“Grab some more eggs, you can focus on the bacon. Just make sure you start with the pan cold, Gordon Ramsay.” I giggled, placing my coffee on the counter before starting to crack eggs and whisk them into a froth. 

It was easy. He asked questions about how I beat the eggs and how I got them so fluffy. I danced around him to place bread in the toaster and pour us both more coffee before returning to stir the eggs, ensuring that they didn’t burn. Laughing at his childlike wonder at my (rather basic) cooking skills, it was hard not to feel some sense of melancholy. It was always so easy with him. There was no stress and no overthinking because everything always just worked. And even now, as we made breakfast together while being broken up and having jus had sex the night prior, it felt right. 

We ate at the table outside, taking in the early morning sun. He didn’t ruin the second batch of bacon, nor did he make breakfast uncomfortable. We kept the conversation light, joking about his being completely hopeless in the kitchen. Neither of us came back to reality until he told me I had no idea how beautiful I was. 

“Josh, you can’t just-” My gaze fell to my plate; suddenly my fork pushing my eggs around was incredibly interesting. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” His voice trailed off and I refused to look back at him, instead turning my eyes towards the horizon. Our place overlooked a few acres of land and mornings here were always my favorite. 

Suddenly, this morning wasn’t so easy. 

“Thank you, Josh, for everything. But I uh, I should really get going.”

Standing before he could say anything, I stood and walked quickly into the house. I could hear him hot on my heels. 

“Kara, wait! Kar, please, just- Kara!” He grabbed my wrist as my foot hit the second stair, putting me a few inches above him. “Can we please just talk about last night?” 

I chewed my lip and mulled it over. Deciding I may as well get it over with, I met his eyes and took a deep breath. “Let’s sit down, yeah?” 

A flicker of a smile passed on Josh’s lips before he lead me to the living room, his fingers locking with mine. We sat on the couch, right next to each other, in the most uncomfortable silence I’d ever been a part of. 

“So last ni-”

“What happ-” 

We laughed and I insisted he go first. 

“Last night… What uh; I mean I wanted to be here for you in whatever way you needed, but I just… wasn’t expecting that to happen. Like, at all. And don’t get me wrong, it was great! I just don’t want you to feel like you owe me for what I did or like-” Josh rambled when he was out of his element. I’d always found it endearing. 

“Last night, I was vulnerable and scared and I just wanted to feel safe. I wanted to feel at home, you know? And I didn’t come to the guest room with the intent on that, but it just felt so…” “So normal.” He finished for me.

“SO normal! I’d had a horrible night and all I wanted was you.” 

Josh stayed silent, electing to grin shyly at me before picking at a stray thread on his sweats.  I took a few moments to take him in, the silence now comfortable. I missed staring into his ocean blue eyes over dinner. The feeling of his rough hands against my scalp after a hard day. I missed arguing over whether or not he should cut his hair and going out to breakfast when we both had a morning off. He was the only thing in Ohio that felt like home and I felt so lost without him. 

“What happened, Josh?” I whispered, not trusting my voice to be any stronger. “Why did we break up?” My eyes met his and he looked as if he’d just kicked a puppy. “ I mean I know why, but I don’t… Things didn’t happen the way you think they happened.”

“I know.” His voice was raspy, tears lining his waterline. 

“You know? You know?! So you did read the letter and you never even called?” I stared at him in awe. 

“No, that’s not… Kara, please, just let me explain my side.”

I stayed silent, nodding for him to continue.

“When I saw his instagram, I just freaked. The guys offered to buy me a few drinks, try to get my mind off of it. But the more I drank the more pissed I got. So I came home hot headed and drunk and I handled everything all wrong. I should’ve asked you what was going on. And I should’ve listened to you when you tried to tell me. I was just so wrapped up in my own head. In how hurt I was. How insecure I was. I thought it was best for both of us if I let you go.” 

“Insecure?” Josh was a professional athlete, in a town full of people who worshipped him. Girls threw themselves at him every time we went out whether it was just the two of us or with the whole team. What did he have to be insecure about?

“Yeah, I uh, I’ve always been intimidated by you. Remember when we met, and I didn’t actually ask you out for weeks? It’s because I couldn’t imagine a girl like you wanting to be with somebody like me. You graduated college at the top of your class. You don’t take shit from anybody. You can outdrink half the team and they all fucking adore you. I’m just some dumb jock who got lucky. And I know you’ve been wanting to take the next step. I can see your face when our friends get engaged and have kids and I can’t give you that right now. It wouldn't be fair to you or our kids for me to be away all the time, or to have to move around if I get traded. I want those things with you, Kar, but I can’t ask you to keep waiting around for me.” He scoffs, looking at the ceiling, willing himself not to cry. I grab him hand to stop him from ripping a hole in his sweats. His hands grasps mine tightly and he smiles at me sadly, a tear running down his face. “So then I see pictures of you with this guy, and you looked so happy, I just thought… I figured you found someone who could give you what I can’t yet, and I panicked. Once you left and I read that letter, I felt more stupid than I ever had in my entire life. I went back and looked at the pictures again and realized how different you looked. How sad your eyes were. I knew you were telling the truth. And then Boone told me about the court shit and I couldn’t face you. I let you go through all of that alone. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve the wedding you’ve always wanted, and the kids I’m sure you already have names picked out for. You deserve someone who can give you the world.”

I kept a hold of his hand as I turned to him, wiping tears from his cheeks with my free hand and tears of my own flowed down my face. “Josh, you are my world.” I choked out.  “I want to get married to you. I want your kids and I want our life. No other man could ever be enough for me.” 

Josh released a sob before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me to straddle his lap and burying his face in my neck. It felt incredible to be surrounded by him again. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” We both cried for a moment, just taking one another in. “What can I do?” He mumbled again. I felt him lean away from me, placing his large hands on either side of my face, lifting it to meet his. Our eyes locked and I choked out another sob.  “Tell me how to fix this. Tell me what to do, sweetheart, please, I-”

I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes, silently praying to anyone who might be listening for some clarity . “ I don’t know, Josh. I don’t know what to do, either. I needed you to listen to me and you wouldn’t. I needed you to be there and you weren’t. How am I supposed to trust you again?” 

His hands moved down, one to hold my waist and one to rub large, comforting circles on my back.. “I’ve seen my life without you and I never want to live that way again. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this up to you. You say the word and it’s done. Please just come back home.” Josh whimpered and I could feel my heart breaking for him.

The past few months flashed before me. The sleepless nights in an empty apartment. Boone bringing takeout to my place because he knew I was too down to cook for myself. Feeling completely lost without Josh to share my life with. I knew he and I weren’t ready for marriage and kids yet but I couldn’t imagine having any of that with anyone else. 

“Don’t you ever let me go again.” 

In an instant, Josh’s arms were squeezing my body against his.  Neither of us spoke a word. After spending months apart and then having such an emotional roller coaster of the past 12 hours, we chose instead to take each other in. I could see the freckles that spread across his shoulders like constellations in the night sky. I could feel him wrapped around me, strong and steady. It’d been months and now that I could hear his heartbeat and smell his body wash and be with him, I finally felt safe. We had a lot of work to do. Our relationship would have to be rebuilt, a little at a time. But for now, we were together, and that was enough. 

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 9

oh goody!

well this is it. the Date Chapter. the chapter, in which, the Date happens. lowkey im so fucking hype for this stupid goddamn chapter AAAAAAAAAAAA this is when the sexy got kicked up about seven notches and i know its gonna be a fucking twenty from here on out so LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

“Is this your date, Ms. Fall?” he asked.

Cinder didn’t look away from Glynda. “Mhm.”

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GODDAMN GATE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SECOND TO EVEN GATHER OURSELVES JUST STRAIGHT UP HUH!!!!!!!!! ‘is this your date’ im legally dead

What the fuck.

already im fucking THRIVING im so glad this chapter’s mood got encapsulated within the first ten seconds and im definitely gonna have to re-read this chapter for the full unannotated experience OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD IM SO READY

Glynda’s thoughts ricocheted inside her head like coins left in a dryer. A part of her couldn’t understand what was happening and disengaged. The rest of her, grasping for purchase in all this, reasoned that going with Cinder was better than staying here confused, alone, and utterly displaced.

glynda ‘i aint ever had a gf before’ goodwitch at her PEAK right here. like GOD shes gone from ‘cinder’s trying to murder me’ to ‘cinder just plopped me right into a date’ like CINDER. CINDER YR CHANGING GEARS SO FAST. YOU DIDNT EVEN SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is it because shes a u-haul lesbian or

Higher, Glynda realized the dress itself was backless, revealing the black tattoo she’d seen so often before, perfectly centered between sharp shoulder blades.

this gay energy is BONKERS, quite frankly??????? where did cinder get her dress from? why does she have it? did she buy it just for this fuckery? or will she pull the ‘i just had a this lil number laying around’ line????????? does she wanna seduce glynda to death?????? was this PLANNED OR DID SHE JUST DECIDE SHE WANTED A DATE AND WTH LIFE REALLY IS SHORT ON REMNANT THESE DAYS?????????? cinder fall please explain your workings to the class

maybe Glynda wasn’t the only one who’d become adept at reading her opponent.

👏 when 👏 will 👏 they 👏 kiss 👏 already 👏👏👏👏

me: this is a slowburn also me: if u assholes dont give me this in the next ten seconds-

“Unarmed? As if you could be so helpless.”

cinder’s style of flirting is just. commentating on a person’s deadliness. that’s IT it’s the only TRICK SHE HAS and its working, is the thing,

im reading the description of the table and remembering the shitpost and oh my god i have to draw this???? hell IS real!!!!!! COULDNT YALL JUST TOSS EM IN A PLAIN BOX,

Cinder eyed her from her bastion of dark cushions,

cinder, ass-deep in cushions: this is peak cuddle territory come and join me

Cinder, for her part, seemed delighted Glynda had noticed. Touching the pendant more gently than Glynda might have ever thought her capable of, Cinder said,  “Yours? You didn’t seem to mind parting with it.”

im still deeply enjoying this powermove the novelty NEVER wears off (and at risk of light spoilers i do enjoy its place in this story 👀)

Cinder let the necklace drop, settling against the swell of her bust once more,

/lightly coughs 👀👀👀

im losing my MIND at how gay this bit is i physically cannot HANDLE IT and if they even describe the meal once im gonna pop off cause i am. SO HUNGRY RN. AAAAAAAAAAAA

Cinder indicated a dish of lamb and vegetables, served on a bed of rice and drizzled in some sort of sauce.

SRY THIS ISNT GAY BUT OH MY GOD IM SO HUNGRY I WANNA E A T I T THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD UGHGHGHGHGHGH WHY DID THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO BE TODAY OF ALL THE DAYS,

Glynda cleared her throat, working out: “The Grimm.”

like. GOD WE KNOW GLYNDA IS JUST SO FUNCTIONALLY BAD AT CONVERSATION BUT OF ALL THE THINGS glynda please just. just. stop thinking abt her sexy tattoos for a fifth of a second,

“You can control them.” A sedate blink. For all the world, Glynda might have just commented on the weather.

which is a faux pas for a date!!!!!!!!!!! at least tell her the DRESS IS SEXY WE ALL KNO WHATS WHAT YR THINKIN ABT

Glancing down as though it were being pointed out to her for the first time, Cinder shrugged and adjusted the end of the glove a little higher on her bicep. “And?” 

a quick aside im enjoying how like... visually expressive cinder is in this remaster! i can see her facial expressions and her motions really clearly in my mind’s eye which is a fun little boon if only because i have to redraw this nonsense hjsgdfjhfksgd but cinder’s got a Good Face this time around! A QUALITY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should know by now, there’s something about you that’s simply irresistible to Grimm.”

HERE COMES THE PLOT (and a single surviving line so far... this one sentence has survived all the world could throw at it... we stan)

Cinder straightened, and Glynda saw that this was what she’d been waiting for.

“It isn’t every day the great Glynda Goodwitch kneels before her adversary, is it?”

HELLO??????????????????????????? WHATS THIS WORDING????????? honestly tho for a second i thought she meant like. quite literally and i thought id missed some PROPER SHIT RIGHT THERE BUT YEAH WTH!!!!!!! C I N D E R

“You cheated. You can’t beat me on your own.”

yes glynda we gathered that yr a top

“Really, Glynda? Poison?” she sneered, something like offense simmering in her expression. “After all this?”

looks at the camera

anyway,

god im literally losing grasp of words to say because theres such a charged mood in this scene............. theyre brushing fingers............ trading jabs.......... im slurpin it up babey!!!!!!!! this rly is the BEST remaster of this whole scene it DESERVES this wordcount!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Beat you,” Cinder corrected. “And call it a point of pride.”

yes cinder we gathered yr a brat,

this dynamic is why this fic is so fuckign good when will winter have a swift return to add even more fuckery to this wild ride

Then, with a heavy-lidded look, Cinder found Glynda’s hand between them, the touch so sudden and daring that Glynda flinched. The fabric of those gloves was smooth against Glynda��s flesh, and for all that cruelty had marked every other instance of contact between them, Cinder was surprisingly gentle.

whomp there go my nuts

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE THE EXECUTIVE CHOICE TO ADD THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????????? im losing my BRAINCELLS

What she wasn’t ready for was for Cinder to guide her hand to her own throat and hold it there.

THERE IS IT THERE’S THE KINK IT’S BEEN SPOTTED

oh my GOD what even IS THIS WHO ADDED THIS SECTION WHO ALLOWED THIS TO COME TO P A S S WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO????????? HEWWO??????????

Now… Now Cinder interested her.

tbh how can i liveblog this? what commentary can i POSSIBLY add that we arent already all THINKING. we just launched into a level of hell so deep that lucifers gonna have to pull some goddamn tricks to follow us down here!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS SCENE! THIS MOMENT! IM SCREAMING

Glynda mirrored the expression back at him, and finally, he coughed, not making strong eye contact with either of them. He set their plate before them and hurried out without so much as a check-in.

i just KNEW that was gonna happen JHGDSFGJHKSDF he was gonna walk in on SMTHNG but i didnt think itd be CINDER’S CHOKING KINK,

okay i took a break and ate my weight in roast chicken and we’re back babey

Almost nervously, her fingers carded through her own dark hair, and there, among the locks, Glynda spotted a glimpse of something white, structured and ridged.

AND I AM INSTANTLY KNOCKED BACK UPON MY ASS 👈W👈H😨A👈T👈

It was easier to ignore the rest of it—whatever it was.

glynda you are a fool and a moron im withering into DUST

On no level had she expected those to be Glynda’s words.

then what... did she expect... well probably -- and rightly so -- ‘bitch WHAT ARE THOSE’ TBH

wait sorry i have to jump back because i forgot customary fingerguns on the most brazen bit of Shit yet:

Cinder was occupying herself with something else: the head of a dragon, perched over the door and staring down at the two of them with red, glossy eyes.

👈👈👈😎👈👈👈

okay BACK TO THE FIC

Fangs snapped together around the word.

aka back to me horni

/chanting TEETH! TEETH! TE

okay but the reason i doubled back to catch that fingergun is because we’re getting ass-deep into plot now!!!!!!!!!!! WITCHES AND DRAGONS BABEY......... HERE’S WHAT OFFAL HUNT IS ALL ABT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant rly drop more fingerguns than that because any astute reader will start realising the dots im shouting abt and honestly half the fun of this fic is the ride so >:3c

“Funny. I was sure he would have told you.”

that blow was so low i think cinder hit the concrete with that one

oh god theyre gonna get to the bit and i-

“Is that what all of this has been about? You called me here to remind me that I'm autistic?”

/SCREAMS

The words were delivered firmly, calmly, but Cinder’s response was the opposite, sudden upheaval seizing her. Her expression opened in something akin to panic. “Wh—no? What? No! That's not what I—”

/SCREAMS

oh my GOD CINDER YOU HAVE FUCKED UP LEGENDARILY!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD SHE WAS FELL ASS-FIRST ONTO A LANDMINE OH MY GOD

offal hunt v1 cinder: im totally in control and im playing glynda every step of the way

offal hunt v2 cinder: OH JESUS OH FUCK OH NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-

Cinder seemed genuinely stressed now, speaking quicker as though trying to bury the last sixty seconds.

i knew this remaster would have sections that would blow me away but this bit really took the fcuking cake DGHSJFSJHFDG holy SHIT this is AMAZING

It was difficult to tell in the low light, but if Glynda wasn't mistaken, there was a bright flush of embarrassment coloring Cinder’s cheeks.

this is SUCH prime content hey remember in one of the early liveblogs that cinder would descend into full dork? WELL THE DESCENT CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pops bottles

“Cinder.” There was a very real line of threat in Glynda’s tone. “Don’t.”

oh this whole scene just keeps getting better i am LOVING this dynamic now!!!!!!! before it was all pretty one-sided so having the conversation rock back and forth is 👌👌👌

That Witch soul of yours—it was designed to void out everything but the prey before you. To be numb to all human emotion. To focus on the hunt and nothing else.

finally the fruit of 50% of my fingerguns COMES TO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! PLOT PLOT PLOT

“This is bullshit.” Jabbing an accusing finger at Cinder, Glynda said, “You’re a liar. You’re a criminal!”

i LOVE glyndas pottymouth in this its such a good like... change from her being strict and formal and teachery and now shes full on gremlin huntress hell YES BABY!!!!!!!!!! GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“There’s all kinds of things I bet he never told you.” Cinder continued. “Did you know he was close to your predecessor? The Witch who came before you—they were inseparable.”

SRY IM LIKE STRUGGLIN TO COMMENTATE because so much of this like. speaking as an Old-Ass Reader this is like. a LOT! A LOT HAS CHANGED and yet,,,, stayed the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yall kids WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER LIKE................ 15 FOR THIS SHIT (but like. chapter 15 was different because this chapter used to be like chapter 7? so now everythings moved along so chapter 15 doesnt sound that impressive but trust me it was a different fic back then)

When they fell away, burnt and ruined, she could see Cinder’s bare arms for the first time. The red lines drawn across her skin sloped down the entire length of her arms, circling her elbows, carved into her wrists. They ended right at her hands, ensuring any long-sleeved garment would hide them. Every covered inch of her was filled like a canvas, like abstract art.

lets pause the fight scene for glynda to be gay!!!!! god im. okay look i said this earlier but im so glad we have more cinder like this tbh. the first version was rly lacking w/ cinder content until late-game when the plot sorta. got itself going? but now we’re eye-deep in this content i LOVE cinder i love this WEIRDO who is a HUGE LOSER and IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Glynda could not dispel the fear that she had been telling the truth.

and after committing Some Amount In Damages, we’re at the end of the chapter!

okay so i really enjoyed this version SO MUCH MORE. everything abt it was polished and worked together so much better and it really needed the space to breathe in its own chapter. its been horny, gay, intense, hilarious, and way more in one chapter and its SO good this really is PEAK offal hunt!!!!!!!!!!!! good job diesel and kc but im still going to murder you both,

[boonehascats]

Boone reviews PerchClan

Hollowstar: went from jerk to Satan Incarnate to Redemption Arc. He needs to stop having babies forever.

Foxfang: Satan's dad. Ambiguous morality with dadly instincts

Specklepaw: Predator magnet and my sweet daughter whose so emotionally unstable look what youve done shes got anxiety

Firepaw: Good n pure.

Vixenflight: she's done with all of this bullshit and im proud of her. shes a good mom, a good wife, a good warrior and probably would make a good leader imo

Pineflower: Local Depressed Dad is Disowned, Thinks the World is Out To Get Him, it Actually Is (but hes getting better)

Oaktooth: a really hot ghost who appears and disappears

Dawnwatcher: PerchClan's Best Dad. he's everybody's therapist and a good one. 10/10 would rp with again

Silvermist: Please give the rest of the clan your common sense.

Wavepool: You're a sweet n good boy but... why Foxfang... WHY??? Also insert Bee Movie Script joke here.

Burntpad: burntstar au in my heart

Darkwhisper: Probably a tsundere.

Charredberry: Baby Boy. Baby. Your suffix makes Juniperfoot tear up.

Brightcloud: Big body for big loving. Needs to be appreciated more.

Houndroot: Deserves better rip SunnyDarkHound in peace 2017-2018 please give her friends.

Bearflower: *blink 182 voice* where are youuuuuu

Ashpath: Tfw your gf murders ur grandma and then eats ur brother and Leaves.

Pigeonflame: Tfw ur emotionally traumatized by your mentor so u eat the medicine cat out of anxiety and Leave

Stormleap: Tfw you disown your family for eating people and/or being depressed and you dedicate your life into helping others and you're just a really godo person

Hawkblaze: Tfw you have no idea about the family drama so you're smiling as the clan lights itself on fire

Beetleheart: i literally cant insult him or Darkwhisper, Stormleap, Junips and Dawn will kill me at night.

Gracklepaw: Gracklepaw is Fuckign Pissed. Please give her a healthy emotional outlet.

Mothpaw: Has her shit together. I respect that.

Pansypaw: Tfw ur mentor is exiled after you were so hyped to be taught by her

Pumpkinpaw: Dumb girl who wants to eat moss. Weedpaw's favorite sister.

All the one billion fucking kits: PERCHCLAN GET YOUR DICK IN CHECK