#BUT THEN HE D O E S IN THE MOST HEARTBREAKING WAY IMAGINABLE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imasimpforshanks · 3 years

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hiii, how are you? may i ask angst alphabet for Ace? thank you ❤️

Angst Alphabet - Portgas D. Ace

a/n: hi hi!! here you go! OMG angst is still really hard LOL I don’t want to think about their rough life 😔😔😔😔😔 ANYWHOOOOO thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy<3

warnings: on the letter S there is mention of self harm

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

Ace would definitely blame himself. He’s always thought he was a no-good demon child, son of a criminal that didn’t deserve to be alive (despite finding people that truly cared and loved him). You dying in an accident and him not being able to do anything about it would just reinforce what he already thinks of himself.

Regardless of your cause of death he is likely to attribute it to your association with himself, and because of that he will think it is entirely his fault, even if he wasn’t present at the time of your death.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

His lessons with Makino really helped him develop manners and just a general sense of acceptable behaviour. So, Ace would just be clear and up front, no mixed messages, no miscommunication. He would take you some place quiet and away from others, and then he would be as honest and vulnerable as possible – it’s the least you deserve. The break-up would be very civil, you would definitely end on good terms (doesn’t make it any less sad though).

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

Sometimes Ace can take his teasing a little too far. Usually you can handle it, but there are just some days where his words cut deeper than ever intended (even if they have no malice behind them). It’s not his fault you’re having a bad day, or not realizing you are having a bad day. It’s just one of those things that happens sometimes. As soon as you start to cry though, he apologizes and reassures you so much, to make sure you known he doesn’t mean it and he’s only playing around.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

It would start out with a lot of confusion, like “what t-that must be some kind of a sick joke. H-how… w-what… they wouldn’t just die like that.” After it really sinks in that you have in fact died, Ace will just get angry. I don’t see him as much of a crier (spoiler alert – we only see him truly allow himself to cry on two occasions 1) when luffy got crazy hurt as a child and 2) when ace was on deaths door), so I believe he would react with anger.

Regardless of your cause of death (natural causes, accident, died in battle etc.) Ace would be unbelievably angry with himself, the world and you. He would be angry at himself for being unable to save you, someone he cares about and loves deeply. He would be angry at the world and whatever higher being there may be for choosing now to be your time. There are so many horrible, horrible people in the world, yet you had to die? It makes no sense. Lastly, he would be angry at you. Not a genuine anger but more so a “how could you just leave me like this? We were meant to be together forever.”

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

I think Ace tends to try his sadness. He tries to put on a brave face, not wanting anyone to see him cry as he doesn’t want to be viewed as weak or be even more of a burden on others.

F-Fight (how often do you fight? What do you fight about? Do you fight often? Etc.)

Fights with Ace, although they don’t happen often, can quickly get out of hand. He’s stubborn and his inability to accept that he’s not always right can cause a minor disagreement to escalate into an all-out fight. On a few occasions you have argued about him never turning his back on an opponent.

Your fights tend to be followed by cooldown time. Things can get quite heated (no pun intended) so you need some alone time and space to breathe. After that though, you comeback together and apologize.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

For his entire life, Ace has lived with the guilt of simply existing. He doesn’t think himself worthy of being alive. Can you blame him? It’s all anyone ever told him growing up. Despite eventually finding people who loved him for him, those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness still remain and continue to plague his mind.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Ace is quiet. He doesn’t want to be around anyone or anything. He wants to be left completely alone so he can sort out his thoughts and feelings. He’d be quite devasted because he’s had so few people in his life love him on as deep a level as you did.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Ace would absolutely lose it if you were injured. He’d be concerned, upset, and angry all at once. First things first, he needs to know if you are going to be ok. Once that’s been established, he’ll be upset at himself for allowing this to happen. This will be replaced by the pure anger he feels at whoever, or whatever, caused this.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

When he gets jealous he turns into such a man child. He’s pouting and moping around while mumbling to himself. He develops quite a petty attitude. If you were to ask him “want to go get something to eat?” he’d respond with “why don’t you just go and ask ____ for some food.” But, as soon as you begin commenting on how jealous he’s acting he’s going to deny it to the end of his days.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Ace literally hunted down Blackbeard so he could get revenge on him for killing Thatch. It’s not certain whether or not Ace had the intention of killing Blackbeard, however, he definitely had both the spirit and anger to go through with killing him. So, it is possible that Ace would kill for revenge. However, for the most part, he would prefer to just beat them senseless.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

Either Sabo or his mother’s death, would be considered Ace’s greatest loss. His mother died when he was a new-born, so he doesn’t particularly remember, or know, anything about her other than the fact that she was a kind wonderful woman. However, the loss of Sabo is something he remembers vividly. Losing Sabo had a major impact on Ace. It was an unfortunate wake up call as to how awful the world truly is.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

One night, after a particularly bad day filled with a horrible series of events, Ace was letting off some steam (quite literally I suppose). Messing with his devil fruit power, throwing some flames around. He hadn’t noticed your presence and so his flames nearly burnt you. He was horrified, and he only felt worse after he noticed the pure terror in your eyes.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?

Ace has nightmares frequently, they vary, but they all have the same underlying theme, that is, the people in his life don’t actually care about him and only view him the same way everyone else views the son of the pirate kind – a worthless devil with no right to life. He wakes up from his dreams in a sweat and finds himself in desperate need of fresh air (ya know to try and clear his mind). He ends up just sitting out on the deck of the Moby Dick looking up at the sky trying to tell himself it was all a dream. But his insecurity and self-doubt begin to resurface and soon he can’t discern imagination from reality. However, the moment someone else on the crew even speaks to Ace with something as simple as a “morning dude” he’s brought back down to earth and thinks to himself “no that’s right…. They love me… I wouldn’t be here right now if they didn’t.”

It’s a vicious cycle, but in the end, he manages to remember (even if it’s just for a little bit) that he is cherished.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

When you continuously tell him there’s no need to stay and fight every single opponent. It’s okay to turn and runaway – in fact it’s safer to do that. When you say that he feels as though you don’t understand him. He’s not some careless, impulsive child who’s just looking for a fight (okay maybe he is a little bit). So he doesn’t really get super angry, it’s more so that he is frustrated and a little upset that you don’t try to see it from his perspective.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

It’s the same as the worst mistake he’s ever made with you – nearly burning you with his devil fruit. It made you realize that Ace can actually be quite dangerous (although you know he would NEVER hurt you intentionally). It made Ace realize that he needs to be more careful, the look of pure terror in your eyes has stayed with him ever since that incident, serving as a reminder.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

His tendency to not back down from a fight is simultaneously his most endearing and toxic trait. He constantly places himself in dangerous situations with minimal concern for his own safety.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

Having his confession rejected by you was definitely a blow to his self-esteem, but he respected and accepted your feelings. Instead of moping around about it he decides to laugh it off, trying to make light of a slightly disappointing situation.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Ace does not have any scars, battle related or self-inflicted.

TW self-harm: I do think ace got worryingly close to self-harming, but Sabo and Luffy made him rethink it all.

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

The one and only time Ace broke your trust was after Blackbeards betrayal. You made him promise to take you with him when he left to hunt down Blackbeard because you didn’t want him to go alone. He promised but he had no intention of keeping that promise.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

For a while Ace manages to get by by keeping himself preoccupied. But as soon as he lets up for even a minute, he realizes how much he misses you and is beyond tempted to just sail on back to wherever you are and tackle you to the ground plastering your face in lil kisses. When he’s not distracted, he really does miss you a lot. He hyper-fixates on what you could be doing at this very moment, whether or not you miss him too etc.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

When ace gets mad, he tends to get very loud. He raises his voice quite a lot and it becomes very, very frightening. He would never physically hurt you, but the anger and frustration in his voice is more than another to scare the shit out of you.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Constantly being reminded or associated with the Pirate King. Maybe it doesn’t make him feel weak, but it makes him feel horrible inside and stirs up a lot of feelings and remarks people would make when he was younger. Unfortunately, once word gets out there isn’t much Ace can do to stop this from happening, however, before this, Ace avoided this by not telling ANYONE. He only told Luffy and Sabo, with a very small handful of others knowing (i.e Garp).

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

He hates turning his back on a fight or turning his back on people that talk shit about those he cares about. This is seen during the Marineford arc. He doesn’t let Akainus words about Whitebeard slide. He doesn’t runaway. He has no tolerance for that shit.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

Ok this may be dark as hell but, Ace just wants to not feel like a burden to the world. He wants to be viewed as something different/separate from his father, but he can’t change history.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

He doesn’t let you go. He’ll hold on to you until he is forcefully separated from your body. He just starts to spout a lot of nonsense – things don’t make sense at all, but he can’t help it right now. He can’t think properly when you’re about to leave him. He just wants you to stay.

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #one piece imagines #portgas d ace #angst alphabet #one piece alphabet #portgas d ace x reader #fire fist ace

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mountjude · 3 years

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yo yo yo, can i please have basic relationship hc's for lit?

I did the fluff alphabet!!

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

cuddling, just cuddling. Also listening to modern music, he loves hearing your favorite songs.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He admires how much time you take to explain things to him. He's still trying to figure out what the hell is going on in the modern world and he appreciates all the time you take to teach him.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He would probably panic himself. He's had his fair share of panic attacks, where you would help him, so he's returning the favor. He would do his best to try and distract you and if you let him touch you, he would hold you until you calm down.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Wherever you go, he'll go with you. You'll probably have some lil kiddos (if you want any) He can imagine living in a lil house with in, probably in New Rome, surrounded by plants.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Passive. He's sort of awkward in the beginning of your relationship. Your normally the one to make plans or initiate kissing or cuddling, then later in your relationship he will.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

This poor man has been betrayed TOO MANY TIMES. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY TO WAY IN TARTARUS YOU WOULD BE EASILY FORGIVEN (depending upon what you did). If you just like stole his shirt he'd been like "ok", but if you did something to really hurt him, he would probably punch something and leave.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He is SO grateful. Like I said he's doing his best to try and learn but it's hard for him to adjust, all the time he's just like "thanks alot, y/n, i appreciate it" he says in a lil whisper

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He's very secretive in the beginning, before you start dating. Over time he learns he can trust you, and shares some of his secrets with you, especially after you start dating.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You absolutely helped him a bunch. Obviously all his problems weren't just "fixed" when you started dating, but over time he learned that you help a lot. He's learned to be way more relaxed and less tense around other people.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He absolutely gets jealous (aristagoras looking at you bitch). Especially if somebody is touching up on you, and he can tell your uncomfortable. You'll probably have to stop him from commiting murder. He doesn't mean to be posessive he just gets scared since you mean so much to him.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He's a lil awkward in the beginning. Your first kiss was probably on the roof of the waystation, and you guys were just chilling. Until he looked over at you and kissed you softly.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Probably after he sees you with somebody who looks interested in you. He sees them making you laugh and just panics. Afterwards he takes you to his room and just flat out tells you, "I'm so in love with you y/n, and I'm scared your gonna fall for somebody else." He was probably really confused why he was feeling like this, until somebody had to tell him.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

I can't imagine you guys would do the whole wedding thing. He'd have Leo make you matching rings, and he'd be like "WHENS THE WEDDING?? CAN I BE THE MAID OF HONOR??" I can't imagine that many demigods getting married period (HERA MAAM). You both would get married privately, demigod lives are short and he wants to spend the rest of his with you. (he'll also throw an apple at you when he proposes)

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Apple!! (nickname from @kawaii-kozume ), other than that your name, he loves it so much!!

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He is absolutely smitten with you. He tries flirting but your just so oblivious and he's so fed up. You held his hand once before you started dating and this man WAS RED.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

If he wants to kiss you in public he will, but he won't suck your face off or anything. A lil kiss on the head, and holding you hand.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

Since he has such strong arms, whenever your upset he will absolutly hold you tightly. Especially when you 2 go to sleep, he'll hold you til you fall asleep.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Since he's from ancient greece, he'll do some cute ass romantic stuff. He'll kiss your hands and pick you flowers.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He'll help you as much as he can. He believes in you so much it hurts. Whenever your stressed and wanna give up, he ALWAYS comforts you "just give it another try, apple"

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He has been doing routines his entire life, time to be a bit impulsive for once.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Before you started dating, he made it his mission to know you like the back of his hand. He'd always ask you stuff life "whats your favorite color?" to "who's your parent?" to "who would you ever court here?" he doesn't mean to be stalkerish he just very interested in the things you like.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Your one of the most important things to him, sometimes its a lot of weight knowing that. He's been hurt over and over again, and his heart can't take another heartbreak.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Sometimes Lityerses pretends not to know something, like the internet, just so you'll help teach him.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Like I said, he's pretty awkward in the beginning over time, he loves to kiss your cheek and hold your hand.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

I tries to distract himself, with swordfighting, training, taking care of Georgie. But no matter what he does, it seems like they all remind him of you. Whenever you get back, your probably crushed in a bear hug.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Lityerses would do anything to prove his love for you. Please just hug and kiss him and tell him you love him because he will literally kill somebody for you.

#lityerses #lityerses x reader #toa #trials of apollo

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 3 years

Text

Okay by the way like, as I literally yelled (okay said loudly), yes, out loud:

THAT'S HOW THIS EPISODE ENDS XD???

The 'XD' was for tone lol XDD And besides, after that

Anyway!! Also Mateo was absolutely a d o r a b l e in this episode 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Bird bestie 👍👍👍

But yeah! Time for the :)). . .

REVIEW

Okay, so, I loved this episode! Honestly, I love every episode, just some more than others 🥰🥰🥰. And eh, I'd say this is one of them! Probably not one of my absolute favorites, but I really liked it :)). It did feel a little bit boring, some times more than others, plus the fact that I knew Paul would be okay kind of negated it for me a little bit, but I am nervous about the future :((. I'm assuming what they're talking about is an ICD (implantable cardioverter defibrillator - which I had to look up, because all I could think of was IED but obviously I knew that wasn't it xDD Got the 'I' right, though! Even if I didn't know what it stood for, lol, XD), but I truly have no idea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I imagine they were purposefully vague, though - it's easiest, especially for future storyline opportunities, even if those opportunities happen to be limited to just having a character explain it without making it seem to redundant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (alright, that's enough shrugging lol)

But, yeah! First of all: Paul :)). Obviously, lol - I hope, anyway! XD. Well, I suppose I could go with least important/least content first, but, eh,乁| ･〰･ |ㄏ, I'm not lol. Accidental shrug but it has variety and it works so I put it back in lol. Anyway! Paul.

I A B S O L U T E L Y. L O V E MY BOY!!!!!!

Like literally he's just a guy 😭😭😭😭. Trying his best :'((((. But like, seriously, the part where he says his dad was the best person he knew (ignore my weird tense usage, I think it works lol)? Heartbreaking 💔💔💔💔😭😭. Heartwarming as well though, lol - ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰 xDD. Just, great. All around XD. But anyway, that paired with him talking about "be who you are", referencing being trans (I assume)? UGH!! My heart 😭😭😭🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I just- I love him so much okay :'))))))?

And don't even get me STARTED on his friendship with Marjan :'D. Like, y'all are L I T E R A L L Y icons 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️😭😭. Love y'all so much <3333 :)).

Also just- "Ride or dies don't ghost each other" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️ YES. I JUST- I LOVE THEM OKAY??? YYEEESSSSSSSSSS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️🥰❤️❤️❤️🥰. 💔 HEART BROKEN BECAUSE IT HURTS SO MUCH FROM L O V E. And also because they're fighting 😭😭 mainly because Paul's in pain too, so DOUBLE pain for me xdd. But, still, lol. I just- I know it's funny, and it is too, but- themmm :')). Ride or dies :'DD. Ahhh. . . Love them.

But yeah, I am concerned for their friendship in the future :((. I know they'll make up, I just don't know how long it'll be 😬. I imagine, or at least hope, soon though, based on the glimpse of the 3x10 summary I saw.

Back to Paul, though, I am honestly worried that he won't get back to work full force :((. Like, Buck got to in the original 9-1-1, and this is kind of a similar situation, so (story-wise, I mean, lol, not practicality wise xDD) why shouldn't he be able to? Idk, I'd just feel really bad for him if he couldn't, and obviously I'd miss him so, so, much :'(( :'D (bc love him, for the smiley :')) ). We would all miss him, and so would all of them, especially Marjan, and we/I don't deserve THAT (their pain) either, so here we are. With the only possible solution being for it not to happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lol XDD. Seriously though, if it is an ICD, from what I've heard/read, that stuff can mess you up :(( 😬. Fitness and lifestyle wise I mean, mostly. But still :(. It just sucks, and I don't want Paul to be going through this. Limited activities also hits sort of hard with what I'm going through right now and it's just. . . Eulgh. It hurts, and it hits really hard and close to home xdd. Like, not the most thing ever (although, even though I knew it wasn't, probably, for one crazy minute I did consider it being EDS lol - that would be wild XD But, if I can't get rep for that, in glad someone else with something even/way rarer can get it :)) And I'm just glad for them in general lol; happy for you guys, keep going, and doing great :pp :))) ), but still, pretty badly (in a good way xdd). I loved the storyline, of course - honestly that kind of made me love it more :// :)) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lol. XDD But, yeah, I love him, so so So S O much, and I just hope he's okay <333.

Anyway!!

TK (and Tommy): :DDDDDD Loved them so much!!! Just- them :)). Love me some Rescue 126 :')). Although I am wondering where Nancy was lol. Same with Asher in The Good Doctor tonight, I guess (to me I mean): she finally had a shift off from work XDD.

Anyway, I really expected TK to turn her down! Maybe accept it at the end, and if we didn't see one of the meetings, the beginning of the next episode, or near it anyway? Somewhere in 3x10. Or earlier, and see it at the end, again, like we did :). But, seriously, he didn't! Refuse, I mean :)). And honestly, good for him :'D. He deserves some healthiness :))) <33.

Also, real quick note!! I'm glad we addressed (with him doing it) the narcotics safe :)). Especially in this episode, this quickly I mean. I don't know if we'll ever see the confession to Carlos, because I'm sure there is one - I mean, maybe it already happened ¯\_(ツ)_/¯! But, still :). It was good, and I enjoyed it. And it proves (though we were already pretty darn sure), to us, and to him, that he's honest :). Because really, he is - he's just a genuinely honest guy. Sometimes he lies or blows up in the moment, but he always comes clean later. And, tries to make it right if he did something wrong (which tends to go with lying, or even lying being the thing done that was wrong lol), or said something in the previous aftermath or whatever (I'm trying to say like, I'm including times like 2x04 in this xDD). Idk, it's just like: nice :)). Good for him :'pp. Again, like I said (I don't know why I need both of those but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ eh, why not - also, for what I'm about to say, not food-wise lol, or anything like that, you know what I mean xDD), he deserves something healthy :')).

And, the Owen storyline! Yeah, surprisingly, I didn't hate it lol. I love Mateo, and he was cute in it (such an adorable little man <3333 my baby :')) ), so that's a bonus as well lol. But, honestly, yeah! It was heartfelt (maybe that's the world I've been looking for sometimes, lol, xD. I mean, heartwarming works, but they're not always the exact same vibes when they don't have extra explanations, yk? Especially when heartfelt can be sad. . . - I mean, seriously, look at least week with episode 8 lol. But, anyway :) ), Owen actually processed some of his trauma, which- honestly, good for him, lol, we got some more of the background of Gwyn, Owen, and to some extent (in this case of background information I mean, even though for some reason I nearly listed him first lol), TK's family life (the apostrophe 's' family life applies to all of them by the way lol). I just always love when we get some of that/those (facts? I guess? Lol, idk), and it included a bird. Soo, I mean, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I kinda have/had to like it :)). XDD. Even if the bird did die, relating to the fact that it existed in the first place and that there was a bird that died in the storyline itself lol. Although. . .

Turns out the bird's not dead XDD. He's fine, he was just chilling lol. Or faking or something xDD. Idk, maybe a medical problem lol. Like, I know there's a 98% chance he is (dead, I mean) but I just- I think it would be funny XDD.

And his conversation with Judd was cute 🥰🥰. Just two guys, being bros, but literally :DD. Because Judd loves the amazing, wonderful Grace, who, despite us not seeing her much this episode, besides a 9-1-1 call or maybe two, I think, is in all of our hearts since she's so awesome. Our queen <33. We stan. Lol, not literally. But yeah, we love her :')) <33. Anyways, back to the two of them, Owen and Judd!! I just love them so much. Their friendship is great :')). Love my little funky boys :ppp!!!

Anyway! Lastly before the final overview lol: where was Carlos. I deserved my boy XDD. C'mon, even just for a second - like, we saw his partner XD. I mean come o n guys, lol. And by partner I mean police partner, by the way - I will almost definitely always call TK his boyfriend lol. I mean, besides partner, except maybe on specific, rare occasions lol. No matter how cute, and fun it is skfhsgdklfs xDD. Also, you know what? Maybe he's just off like Nancy today, lol. Off-work, I mean xD. Good for them lol. Maybe xD. Anyway, lol, still XDD.

Overall, I thought this was a really good episode! You know what, scratch that, really GREAT. I just loved it all around, the calls were fun, and no one died :). I mean, there was the aftermath of last week's episode/the week before that's episode lol, but still. I'm really worried for Paul, and for his and Marjan's friendship, not to mention her reaction and how she's doing with all of this, but I think we'll all be okay. That they'll be okay. Hopefully :'pp :)). Now THAT tear is most likely a 'help me' tear lol. Anyway!! Loved Owen, surprisingly, and his storyline - more his storyline to be honest, lol, but I can at least kinda respect his arc, I guess, lol xDD -, loved the bird itself, loved Marjan and her AMAZING fashion sense, especially this episode, and all on ~display~ and everything, with multiple days out of 'the office' lol - out of work xdd it's honestly a good thing I put quotation marks on it lol, kind of on the quotation marks part, since that's not technically what they are XDD -, and I loved TK and seeing his grief, plus him telling that story and the loss and grief group, and his and Tommy's relationship in general this episode 🥰🥰🥰. Besides all that, the calls were amazing - funny, kind of, sweet, intriguing, medically especially, and smart. Just generally a good time :)). And, lastly, though I missed my boy Carlos, Mateo was adorable. Those two things are largely unrelated, but I suppose it's because the good/love factor lol. And of them both being my children - aaaas I believe pretty much everyone on this show is xDD. And for the preview - hm, not my first choice of storylines, but I'm interested! And I'm sure I'll have, and like, the side/other plots too :). I'm just intrigued, right now, mostly!! We'll see what happens, how amazing it is, though I have no doubt that it'll be good :)). If not great, or awesome! Any of those things, lol. Well, like I said, basically xD, we'll have to see!!

So yeah! Loved the episode, it was amazing :)). I'm worried for Paul and all - rhyme! :)) -, but I think we've got this :'p. Wiping off the emotional, not literal, tears, and getting ready for next week :DD <33.

This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 3, Episode 9: The Bird

I loved the episode. I thought it was great :)). And I'm very excited for the next one :DD!!

See you next week for. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 3, Episode 10: Parental Guidence

See you all then!!!!

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bepoets · 4 years

Text

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

#shards of shards #couragedontdesertme #Trish’s fics #shards #shardsverse #elsarik

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havocmadden · 5 years

Photo

S I D E A — P R I N C E S S E S D O N ’ T C R Y L I S T E N H E R E

S I D E B — Q U E E N O F M E A N L I S T E N H E R E

princesses don't cry — aviva ❝ cause a princess doesn't cry / a princess doesn't cry / over monsters in the night / don't waste our precious time / on boys with pretty eyes / a princess doesn't cry / a princess doesn't cry / burning like a fire / you feel it all the time / but wipe your teary eyes. ❞

the garden — mirah ❝ oh oh i really wanted that thing / i just want to sing / ‘i love you baby / won't you bring / all the flowers you / find out in the garden / don't tell me the truth / that your heart has hardened’ / but you don't want me anymore / how can it be / look what you've done to me. ❞

prom queen — molly kate kestner ❝ god save the prom queen / teenage daydream / just another dressed up heartbreak / god save the prom queen / only eighteen / turned her tears to diamonds in her crown. ❞

you should see me in a crown — billie eilish ❝ you should see me in a crown / i'm gonna run this nothing town / watch me make 'em bow / one by one by one / one by one by / you should see me in a crown / your silence is my favorite sound / watch me make 'em bow / one by one by one / one by one by / count my cards, watch them fall / blood on a marble wall / i like the way they all scream / tell me which one is worse / living or dying first. ❞

hey little girl — sophiemarie.b ❝ i want you to feel bad when you go to sleep / i hope you're sad when you remember me / and feel bad for all you did to me / i hope you lie there in your misery / hey little girl you'll never believe / there's a ghost inside of you / but it's hidden too deep / hey little girl you'll never imagine / when you get a little older / you'll get abandoned / hey little girl you know smoking kills / you don't really care / 'cause you love how it feels / hey little girl you're falling apart / you don't really care / 'cause they broke your heart. ❞

queen — loren gray ❝ you can call me a princess all you like / 'cause you love to keep me helpless by your side / but that ain't what i want, i'ma show you / i'ma show you how to treat me like a queen / boy, you better bow down on your knees / can i get a ‘yes, your majesty’? / so treat me like a queen / boy, you better bow down on your knees / can i get a ‘yes, your majesty’? ❞

starring role — marina and the diamonds ❝ you don't love me / big fucking deal / i'll never tell you how i feel / you don't love me / not a big deal / i'll never tell you how i feel / it almost feels like a joke to play out a part / when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart / you know i'd rather walk alone / than play a supporting role / if i can't get the starring role. ❞

savage — bahari ❝ when you touch me you take me to heaven / when you hold me my body's a weapon / if you think that you can save me, break me down, and tame me / here's your chance to do some damage / savage. ❞

i want it all — natalie taylor ❝ i wanted beautiful things / diamond rings, diamonds rings / i get what i want / i live just to get what i want / i want it all. ❞

grrls — aviva ❝ blameless i'll shatter through the glare / make it, take it, they won't share / i can't fake it, i'll just make it on my own / i can't blame them, i'll just maim them on my throne / i can't fake it, i'll just make it on my own / i can't blame them, i just got to get to my throne / i am the latest colors, i sing the newest songs / i read all the lyrics, so i can sing along / i am the latest colors, i stand above my throne / waiting for an invite to never come along. ❞

white horse — taylor swift ❝ stupid girl / i should have known / i should have known / that i'm not a princess / this ain't a fairy tale / i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet / lead her up the stairwell / this ain't hollywood / this is a small town / i was a dreamer before you went and let me down / now it's too late for you / and your white horse to come around. ❞

angry too — lola blanc ❝ i don't wanna be controlled by the past / boy if you were me could you really blame me? / would it make you crazy / cause another and another coming up out of the gutter / till i'm drowning in an ocean of entitled motherfuckers / and they're pushing all my buttons / but they never seem to wonder why / another and another ask each other / does it get your blood boiling / does it make you see red? / do you wanna destroy it / does it get in your head? / cause it gets my blood boiling and i'm coming unglued / it would hit you like poison if you knew what i knew / you would be angry too / calm down girl why you so mad? / why's your heart gone / oh good girl why you upset? / guess they have forgotten what they did. ❞

dear society — madison beer ❝ diets that i shouldn't try / it feels like social suicide / and honestly, it's cyanide, i'm 'bout to die / been 21 since 17, thanks to all the magazines / man, sometimes, i just wanna scream and break my screen / i'm a natural disaster / but even after all that i do / it's you who's gonna be the death of me / and none of this matters / baby, it's you, it's you / you're bad for my health / i should probably get some help / i can't control myself / i'm addicted to the hell / my heart is getting sick from the tar that's on your lips / yeah, you're bad for my health / you should hurt somebody else. ❞

i did something bad — taylor swift ❝ i can feel the flames on my skin / crimson red paint on my lips / if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing / i don't regret it one bit 'cause he had it coming / they say i did something bad / then why's it feel so good? / they say i did something bad / but why's it feel so good? / most fun i ever had / and i'd do it over and over and over again if i could / it just felt so good. ❞

last night’s mascara — brynn cartelli ❝ that dude i was kissing / nah, he didn't love me / he was on every varsity team / i need a little attention just to forget you / even though tomorrow no one will remember a thing but now / now i still don't understand how / i've got last night's mascara still on my face / i kinda knew that there'd be trouble / but i did it anyway / i swear i used to be innocent / you held my hand / i don't remember how i got here / i don't remember what i said / but i've got last night's mascara / last night's mascara / yeah, i still got last night's mascara on somehow. ❞

villians, part one — emma blackery ❝ but my body is bored of being torn apart / and i've done this to myself / so if you're thinking of stealing the last love i have / then you're thinking of stealing somebody else / turn the lights down low / if this is how i go / i'll tell them that the villains on my list / they're what turned me into this / so i'll go / i'm better off alone / run and tell them that the villains on my list / they're the reason i've been pulled so low. ❞

homecoming queen — kelsey ballerini ❝ been so good at smiling / most of your life / look damn good in the dress / zipping up the mess / dancing with your best foot forward / does it get hard to have to play the part? / nobody's feeling sorry for ya / but what if i told you the world wouldn't end / if you started showing what's under your skin / what if you let 'em all in on the lie? / even the homecoming queen cries. ❞

castle — halsey ❝ i'm headed straight for the castle / they wanna make me their queen / and there's an old man sitting on the throne / that's saying that i probably shouldn't be so mean / i'm headed straight for the castle / they've got the kingdom locked up / and there's an old man sitting on the throne / that's saying i should probably keep my pretty mouth shut / straight for the castle. ❞

little girl — faith marie ❝ take a walk, clear your head, breath in, count to ten / cause on the first page of life written in red / you'll never make it here if you don't learn how to bend / don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl / someday you will find your place in the world / but ladies don't get dirty / someday you'll learn to fill the empty space with empty faith. ❞

burn the witch — emma blackery ❝ i'm a liar, i'm a bitch / and you and i have unfinished business / narcissistic hypocrite / and i'm petty as hell but at least i admit it / blow my phone up, say i'm crazy / i know know what you've called me lately / it's time to burn the witch. ❞

princess — fletcher ❝ we've all been told when we were little / we could grow up and live a fairy tale / but no one ever bothered telling us that / the storybook ending never started out well / why's there always gotta be a hero? / what if cinderella had to save herself? / it's not like we don't need a little help / but maybe it's a good thing to go through a little hell. ❞

don’t make me — melinda ❝ never was built to be this way / but turns out the villain is fun to play / your hollywood romance, extra and sappy, but / spoiler alert: the ending ain't happy / eggshells crack beneath your feet / the ugly truth is bittersweet / so dress it up in fancy clothes / but we both know how this goes / don't make me be the bad guy. ❞

#descendantsedit #audrey descendants #disney descendants #sarah jeffrey #audrey disney descendants #audrey daughter of sleeping beauty #princess audrey rose #audrey rose #mine : edits #mine : playlists #tbt #this formatting took me like three hours because tumblr doesn't have a stupid fucking paragraph alignment setting :)

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shizibande · 5 years

Note

“ It’s you. You’re it. You’re the one I want. ”slightly drunk ikkaku confessing to pb tho

shang hasn’t been h o m e in so long that he’d almost forgotten the smell — the warm, iron-scented barracks a pleasant reminder of where he’d grown up. there’s a sort of guilt in him, when he’s aggressively invited for drinks by ikkaku, wrangled into his arms like a long-lost little brother who’d ran away from home, but he hasn’t smiled this hard in months. and maybe its the sake, poured neatly into cups on the barracks stairs, just the two of them, that has shang laughing so hard he’s all teeth and all comebacks, but he’s finally feeling like himself again after a while.

it’s good, and he can a l m o s t ignore the stabbing in his gut at being so close to ikkaku, at smelling the soap he’d used earlier, at hearing him s p e a k, with so much voracity and joy that shang knows he brought him. it should feel good. and it does. it does, until ikkaku’s careless, barked laughter turns into quiet contemplation, the echoes of his laughter trailing off until he’s piecing words together that shang quite comprehend.

until he does.

bronze eyes go w i d e, some youthful shock and awe spreading ‘cross his face. he isn’t exactly sober either, by most definitions, a warm buzz spreading through his head, but he isn’t drunk enough to be imagining things. no… oh no, he’d heard correctly, as Ikkaku spoke those three fragmented sentences into the space between his knees, now wringing his wrists in some small measure of certain uncertainty ; craning his neck and turning his chin skyward as a narrow, draconian gaze flickers to shang’s face with some fierce determination. resolution. emphatic seriousness that makes shang’s stomach t w i s t.

his mouth opens and closes, whatever words he’d meant to say getting stuck in his throat ; makes him want to gag, because if there’s ever been a cruel joke played on him, this would be the worst. his eyes search ikkaku’s face for any inkling, any modicum of a smile, a grin, an ‘ oh my god, you fell for it ’ written on his chiseled features and there’s none. the gaze the dragon wears, in all of its unfocused seriousness, was s o f t — soft in a way shang isn’t used to seeing.

it would be a lie, though, should he say he’d never seen it — a mischievous peer through lashes during their spars, a warm, telling side-eye — rather, he had elected to ignore whenever that sort of gaze was thrown his way, because he had to have been imagining it…

“ p l e a s e ” and it takes a moment for shang to realize, but he actually has said something, a singular word that wrenches up from his gut in a wretched, gravelled whisper. and he laughs, a broken little noise, forceful in an attempt at breaking tension, only to make it worse. he can feel his heart hammering in his chest. wonders if ikkaku can, too…

shang wrings his own hands so hard he feels his knuckles crack, and scarcely holds back a whimper at the pain under his ribs. although he’s filled out, and grown into the long and gangling limbs, shang is still young, his adulthood fresh on his skin. doesn’t quite know what to do with the limbs he’s grown into and so he brings them closer to himself in some uncharacteristic display of uncertainty.

if he would ever guess what heartbreak feels like, he would liken it to this — the man you love saying beautiful things he won’t remember in the morning.

“ you’re drunk, ‘kaku… you don’t —… ” he pauses, makes a garbled sigh and rubs his face in his hands. “ don’t… say things you don’t mean… that’s… ” and he l a u g h s, but its w e t, and he realizes much to late that it’s tinted with the beginnings of tears. “ that’s just fuckin’ mean. ”

#aimcs #AYEYEYAI #YIKES #first thing I write in m o n t h s and #its this #you better reply to this I'm gonna #combust

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aesjae · 6 years

Text

tears fall like snow | taeyong

probably not the best i’ve ever written, and probably not the best to read while you’re in the festive mood. i’m glad to be writing again.

Summary: Any and every date on the calendar could mean something significant to any and everyone. However, the twenty-fifth of December is unanimously proclaimed as the day of the birth of Jesus Christ to the whole world — Christmas Day. But Christmas may not unanimously be just as jolly to everyone.

Style/ Genre: Scenario/ Angst Word Count: 3,669 Date Posted: 26 dec 2018

Downtown, 8.48 p.m., 24th December 2018

“ ‘Dis the season to be jolly, tralalalalalalalala~”

At every corner, at every alley, the streets and town square were bustling with people. Masses of people moved like the great reef, moving in great entirety. At every angle that you turn to, you would be greeted with large toothy grins, the festive seasons pumping through everyone’s veins.

Everyone but one.

Hot cocoa, gingerbread men cookies, thick woollen scarfs wrapped around necks, intertwined mitten hands, festive songs.

Everybody seemed to have been engrossed in the festive season, many mouthing along to the words of Christmas songs. As people moved almost continuously through the streets, one man stood still amidst the crowds. Covered in black from head to toe, his frosty white hair stands out. Compared to the life and gusto of the city, he was still and lifeless, standing outside the bustling activity of the crowds. A bouquet of crimson roses in his right hand, he gazed contemplatively through the window of a boutique, at a particular dress.

His dark orbs slowly took in the pristine white beads on the sleek silk material, the intricate embroidery on the dress, the flattering smooth cut, as if relishing the beauty of it, imagining it being worn on someone in his mind. A soft yet somewhat wry smile formed on his face, and he dropped his head down, looking as if he was biting down something that was growing heavily in his chest.

He looked back up. With another contemplative gaze on the elegant dress, he stepped up the short flight of stairs leading into the shop, and not more than 10 minutes later, he descended back down onto the narrow streets of the city with a big pink box in both of his hands, the bouquet of flowers rested on top of it.

He continued walking, albeit his pace was significantly slower than that of the mass crowd. The crowd around him exuded the festive spirit and joy, but he remained indifferent, the mood surrounding him evidently gloomier. Unlike the excited faces of most people, his brown orbs were filled with chilly emptiness.

Couple after couple, faces after faces. Everything was passing by him in a blur, yet he felt like time was crawling. It was as if he was in his own world where the everybody and everything, including time, moves on, except him.

Finally, he reached a traffic junction. Just like the pedestrian pathways, the roads were jammed with vehicles. The glistening of the car lights illuminated the streets, mirroring the Christmas lights hanging off street lamps in the midnight sky.

Joy Street

He lifted his head slowly, his expression turning grave upon sighting the familiar street name. Glimpses of past events threaded their way into his memories, causing his heart to wrench in unspeakable sorrow. Deep creases along the box’s borders instantly appeared as he clenched onto it tightly.

No. I have to be strong. For her.

A frosty feeling rested upon his cheeks from an escaped tear, reminding him of the existence of those unerasable memories. Regaining composure, he forcefully loosened his grip and willed his body to move.

Inching closer to the town square, an enormous Christmas tree sat in the centre of the square.

“They call it the Wish Tree,” her smile glistened, her face lighting up brighter than the Christmas lights.

His eyes widened at the sudden flashback, an immediate headache following it. He dropped to the floor in a crouched position, struggling with the prominent ache in his head.

Suppress. Suppress.

His right hand instinctively reached for his coat pocket, but there was only an evident absence of the bottle. The bottle of pills that had been keeping him alive. Nothing else was going to save him now, only himself.

Despite the pain, he picked himself up. His heavy footsteps resonated across the streets and his lifeless form was continuously nudged and hit amongst the crowd like a rag doll that was thrown down the busy streets.

City Cemetery, 9.58 p.m., 24th December 2018

He pushed opened the gates that lead into the cemetery, and it tweaked open in response. Despite the harsh weather, there were families who had came to visit their deceased family members. His eyes lingered on them, an unreadable expression hidden behind his brown orbs.

Trudging past rows and rows of graves, he halted at the second last row of graves in the entire cemetery. His throat felt parched as he glanced at the long row of graves before him. He took a step, then another, towards the last grave of the row. With every step closer to it, he felt his body growing heavier. When he finally reached it and peeked a glance of the name on the gravestone, it was as if a hundred-ton weight dropped down onto his body, sending him slumping hard onto his knees. The pink box and bouquet of roses in his hands dropped onto the floor, petals falling among the grass. He stared at the inscription before him, a trembling hand reaching out, fingers tracing each of the delicately carved words with caution. The lump of suppressed emotions in his throat proliferated in size, choking him.

‘ Y/F/N XX XXX XXXX - 25 D E C EM B E R 2 0 1 7 M A Y Y O U R E S T I N P E A C E’

By the time he had traced finished the last letter of the inscriptions, tears were pouring down his face, his expression contorted into a heartbreaking sight. He wept in grief and agony, just like how he did exactly one year ago. Each sound from him escaped in sorrowful wails, burning his throat like a flame set ablaze.

“I-I’m sorry Y/N… I’m sorry…… I’m sorry I did not come earlier… I’m sorry for being such a coward and avoided you for a year… I’M SORRY”

He cried to the earth and he cried to the heavens, hoping that his apology could somehow be delivered to the one. The cemetery was already empty at this time, and his cries only echoed in the empty silence, leaving him alone to face his own misery.

Everywhere burned. His eyes. His throat. His head. His chest.

The emotions that he had suppressed for a year boiled in his insides, dangerously threatening him to explode.

All of a sudden, the long-suppressed memories came crashing in his mind unforgivingly, causing him to lose total control over them. This time, he was too worn and tired to will himself to do anything. He let the memories engulf him, and pitch darkness curtained his physical world.

7.07 p.m., 24th December 2017

He took one last look into the mirror. His reflection stared back at him, and he noticed the mix of nervousness and excitement in his own eyes.

“I can do this. Fighting, Lee Taeyong.”

With one last encouraging smile at his own reflection, he headed for the front door, picking up the bouquet of fresh roses from the door side table.

“Going already, Taeyong-ah?” A familiar voice sounded from the kitchen, and the face of his long-time friend cum housemate popped out from behind the wall.

“Oh gosh, going for all black, again? The number of times I have seen you in all black is quite… You can technically work for the Grim Reaper.”

He had his head slightly tilted back to look at his friend, but that comment made Taeyong rotate his whole body to glare squarely at his friend. His expression then softened into a small pout.

“Johnny-hyung, don’t tease me. I know I look good all black. Plus it complements the white coat I bought for Y/N.”

“And how are you so sure that Y/N will wear it?”

“I am confident that she will,” Taeyong smiled at the thought of Y/N in the pristine white coat, which instantly reminded him of her when he saw it through the shop’s window one random day.

“Haha, okay, I hope you maintain this confidence throughout the night tonight,” Johnny winked.

“Ew hyung, don’t be disgusting. When is your girlfriend coming?” He gave his close friend a look of disgust.

“Around 9pm? She’s a busy woman, even on Christmas Eve.”

“Mm. Okay, I’m going now hyung! Enjoy your dinner date!”

“Yep! Remember to take all your stuff!” Johnny’s voice faded away as the door closed behind Taeyong.

“Oppa! There you are,” a bright voice startled Taeyong, bringing him who was deep in thoughts back to reality. He lifted his head and was immediately greeted by the face that he had been looking forward to seeing all day. His face immediately mimicked the gleaming expression on his girlfriend’s face, a toothy grin unconsciously forming and pressing against his cheekbones. He took a step back and observed his girlfriend who was clad in a simple red maxi dress that hugged her body under a long white suede coat.

“You look absolutely beautiful. And you’re wearing the coat I gave you -- you look like an angel,” Taeyong pressed a kiss on his girlfriend’s forehead, earning giggles from her.

Everything was going smoothly that night. Y/N received the bouquet of roses cheerfully. They went to their favourite restaurant and had a splendid dinner. The restaurant even had a special Christmas event and both of them ended their meal in all smiles.

Stepping out of the restaurant, the lovely couple strolled along the bustling streets, moving along with the crowd and enjoying the liveliness of the festive season. The walked past shops after shops, streets after streets arm in arm, admiring the stunning Christmas decorations in town. Not even once did the smiles leave their faces.

As they continued walking toward the town square, a large Christmas tree came into view. It stood tall amongst the crowd, white lights twirling their way towards the top of the tree, illuminating the whole town square with its radiance. It was a new and interesting sight to Taeyong, who had moved to this town only over the past year to live close by to his girlfriend.

“They call it the Wish Tree,” her smile glistened, her face lighting up brighter than the Christmas lights.

She dragged him by the arm to the tree, convincing him to write a wish down to hang on the tree. Taeyong was slightly reluctant, but he could not reject the excited expression on her face. A loving smile and fixated eyes on her followed her every movement, completely enamoured with her.

‘I wish that we will be together forever, in life and death. -(Your name’s initials) & T.Y’

She stood there in front of the tree, staring at the wish that she had written and hung up thoughtfully. It was obvious that those few words carried a lot of emotions and sincerity. In the meantime, Taeyong could not help but just stare at his other half, feeling absolutely grateful for this godsend angel. His heart full of warmth, he pressed an affectionate kiss onto her forehead again.

Feeling the appropriateness of the mood and atmosphere then, his hand reached into his coat pocket. However, these trembling fingers only met with emptiness. Panic filled his head, but he tried to keep as calm and composed on the outside as much as possible. Instead, he reached for his phone in his pant’s back pocket.

After a few furious taps, he finally heaved a heavy sigh of relief. He informed Y/N that he had forgotten something at the restaurant, and asked her to meet him after 20 minutes. She agreed without any questions asked, grinning sweetly and telling him to be careful and to be back soon.

“Hyung, over here!” Taeyong bent over his legs, panting heavily as his friend jogged over in front of him.

“Gosh- Taeyong! I reminded you to take everything, how could you forget about the most important item of tonight?” Johnny lightly chided his younger friend, voiced laced with concern and a hint of tease.

“I know… I’m sorry for interrupting your date, hyung. I owe you a /big/ favour, I swear.”

“It’s okay. I’ll do whatever it takes to see you smile. Don’t screw up tonight!”

Taeyong fiddled with the small box between his fingers, a smile of relief on his face. He raced back to his destination, all the nervousness from before replaced with eagerness.

With every step he took, he felt bubbles evolving inside him. He smile grew bigger by the seconds. His anticipation grew. His hope grew. His love for her never stopped growing. He knew she was the one, and he wanted to have her by his side forever. With every step he took, the rhythm of his footsteps grew quicker, and he soon stopped at a road junction.

Joy Street

She stood on the opposite side of the street, at the peripherals of the crowd on the pedestrian pavement, allowing the couple to face and see each other fully. They looked at each other, both of their smiles clearly depicting the amount of love they have. Even as cars drove by in front of them, their eyes never left each other for a second.

The green man came on and both of them stepped down from their respective pavements onto the road. Despite the crowd, all he saw was her. He prepared to raise his arms to embrace the incoming Y/N, already feeling the familiar warmth against his body.

Suddenly, Y/N was gone.

A piercing scream penetrated the air. Within a few seconds, there were sounds of skidding, sounds of frantic footsteps, the sight of shocked faces, engine smoke billowing out and clouding the surroundings. But one thing made Taeyong’s blood run cold: the sound of a body heavily thrown onto the asphalt ground.

Unable to see Y/N, he hastily looked around before he instinctively swung his head towards the direction the had caught other pedestrian’s attention. Underneath the blinking green man, a car had halted awkwardly in the middle of the pedestrian crossing. Marks of skidding lined the asphalt floor and the engine smoke surrounded the car. A car accident.

Taeyong did not have his attention focused on the accident, for his only priority was to find Y/N. To propose to her. His eyes continued searching the crowd but to no avail. It was that moment when he caught a glimpse of white on the ground, in front of the car. Realisation struck.

He sprinted. He kneeled beside her, instantly taking her into his hands. Her face had a big gash across her forehead, blood dripping down her beautiful face. Her limbs were limp, slumped onto the ground at awkward angles. Blood was oozing out rapidly, the blot of crimson red on her white coat increasing in size at an unstoppable rate.

“No… No…” With one hand cupping her face, Taeyong wanted to deny reality, unable to and refusing to accept what had just happened.

Feeling his presence, a weak, bloody smile formed on Y/N face. Her bloodied arm reached out to touch his face, its intense trembling signifying the very little energy she had left.

“It’s okay..” she had said.

It was not okay. It was not. He wanted to fight for her life, but he was powerless. He wept, and his face was a mess. People around kept their distance to give the couple space, many tear-stricken faces amongst them.

“Sir, we need to take her away,” a man in a familiar paramedic uniform gently voiced to Taeyong, waiting patiently. It had started to snow.

Fully aware that time was tight, he reluctantly removed his hands from Y/N.

Right before the paramedics lifted Y/N on a stretcher off the ground, Taeyong hastily stopped them.

“Wait-“

The paramedics looked at each other before stepping back behind Taeyong again to give them some time.

He took her hand into his.

With his other hand, he finally took out the box from his pocket, taking the ring out.

He looked endearingly at his partner, tears still dripping down from his eyes. “Y/N, we have been together for a long time, and I want to make our wish come true. Let’s stick together forever. Will you marry me?” His words came out in stutters, but they were full of sincerity.

She looked at his tear-stricken face, a weak but loving smile on hers. She nodded weakly.

A bittersweet feeling swamped Taeyong’s heart as he delicately put the ring round Y/N’s ring finger.

“I love you,” he muttered.

Ding Dong Ding Dong~

The church bell chimed as the clock stroke midnight.

“Merry Christmas Taeyong,” she mouthed.

He held her hand more tightly, stroking her finger with the ring and gave a teary smile. “Merry Chris-“

Her hand dropped, leaving his.

Her head slumped towards the side like a rag doll.

Snowflakes continued to descend, covering her body with a sheet of white.

His eyes went blank, his vision still fixated at the place her face was. Paramedics rushed over.

“…… Y/F/N, pronounced dead on 25th December 2018, 0001 hours.

I’m sorry for your loss, Mister…”

At this point in time, Taeyong was not even listening anymore.

His heavy tears dropped, falling like snow onto the ground.

Even at the point of her death, she looked like an angel. And then she became one.

A year passed and nothing became easier for Taeyong. Over the past year, he could not get over Y/N’s death. The person that had been there for him since the very beginning. The person who had held his hand and gave him strength during the days he felt the weakest. The one who loved him despite all his flaws and shortcomings.

She was gone.

He cooped himself up in his house most of the time, and Taeyong never looked as full as life as he did when Y/N was around anymore. He became an empty shell.

His close friend, Johnny, who was worried for him, repeatedly tried to convince him to go for counselling when he showed no improvement after 6 months. It was only because it was Johnny that Taeyong finally agreed.

For the next 6 months, Taeyong had been relying on anti-depressant pills. He did not attend Y/N’s funeral, nor once visited her grave. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take the pain. He never fully moved on, as he felt guilty for leading a life of his own without her. It felt so empty, so solitary. Something was missing. She was missing.

This Christmas was different. It had already been a year, and Taeyong knew he could not deny reality any longer.

City Cemetery, 11.55 p.m., 24th December 2018

“Sir, the cemetery is closed for tonight. Could you please take your lea- oh! Sir, are you okay?” A deep, rough voice sounded in the night, the owner of the voice rushing towards the fainted man in front of the last grave of the second last row.

In his unconsciousness, Taeyong felt two warm hands holding onto his two arms. He was freezing. He felt weak. Then he felt small icy sensations forming on his face and hands. Snowflakes. It was snowing.

“Sir, sir, can you hear me?” The voice increased in urgency, tapping the collapsed man’s cheeks gently in hope for a response. “Shit, you’re hella cold. This is not good.”

Taeyong’s face continued to drain in colour, his dry lips already becoming a shade of blue.

In Taeyong’s vision of darkness, he suddenly saw someone. The silhouette approached him slowly, step by step, filling Taeyong with a sense of familiarity. When the person stopped in front of him, he stared at the white coat, before lifting his eyes to look into the person’s face. An angel.

Tears instantly formed in his eyes. “I missed you,” Taeyong choked out in a soft voice. In that 3 words was vulnerability, longing and anguish.

She did not say anything, only a soft smile on her face, just as how Taeyong last remembered her. She wordlessly stretched out her hand towards him, as if beckoning him to follow her.

Taeyong glanced at her outstretched hand, and without a mere contemplation, he put his own hand into hers. He followed her with obedient silence as she took him by the hand, leading him further into the darkness.

Taeyong’s eyes opened slightly, but his vision was extremely blurry. He could not make out where he was, and could only tell there was someone hovering over him. He glanced at the dark night sky behind the man, making out a blurry white spot in the sky which he presumed was the moon. He felt the last of his energy drain with each millisecond.

Ding Dong Ding Dong~

It was Christmas.

With the very littlest of his will left, he gave the slightest of smiles. A tear slid down his face, falling along with the snow onto the ground.

“We can be together now, Y/N.”

And his vision went black.

Downtown, 8.55 p.m., 24th December 2018

He stepped into the shop, triggering the front doorbell to chime.

“Hello Mister, how can I help you?” A staff at the boutique approached Taeyong naturally, giving a warm and welcoming smile.

“Erm, can I have that dress that’s at the window?”

“Ah, yes, of course, sir. I’ll get it prepared for you right away.”

“Thank you.”

The staff had the white dress snugly packed into a simple pink box.

“You look young sir, is this for your wife?”

In the first time in a while, Taeyong gave a genuine smile.

“Yes. I did not manage to give her the wedding she wanted.”

“Ah, I see. What a lucky wife you have to have a husband like you. This bridal dress would definitely fit her beautifully. I hope both of you will live together happily.”

“Thank you.”

Not more than 10 minutes upon entering the store, he descended back down onto the narrow streets of the city, the big pink box in both of his hands, the bouquet of flowers rested on top of it.

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yoosungimagines · 6 years

Note

Omg I'm so glad you made this tumblr! Uuuuh. I've got a request: imagine Yoosung finding out that the MC is a few years older than him (either before they have even met and he's developing feelings or when they're already a couple)? Hope it's not too much I'm asking for ;-;

took way too long to finish I’m sorry!! This is fairly long cause well, oops? i’m dramatic haha

also i made it so they’ve met but they’re not a couple i’m sorry if that’s not what you want aaaaa

this is actual trash i’m sorry

Rating: PG13

“Say, Seven, I’m not what they call a…”

Your voice was sheepish as you spoke into the phone, your eyes resolutely trained onto the ceiling and away from Seven’s picture displayed on your phone. There was an expression of defeat mixed with pure embarrassment on your face and your grimace would’ve made for a fun blackmail picture for the redhead.

“A what?”, he drawls teasingly, and you can practically feel the mischievous smirk on his stupid face. “Spit it out ______. I won’t know what you’re trying to say until you say it clearly.”

You wanted to slap him, but alas, his cheek was too far from the palm of your hand. “A-A,” you take a deep breath. Your next words come out in a high-pitched squeak, your fingers clenching around the fabric of your shirt. “A c-cougar!” Your eyes squeeze tightly and your hands fly up to cover your reddened face, a loud stuttering groan of embarrassment leaving your lips.

Seven’s hysterical laughter fills the room, making your ears bleed; you knew putting him on speakerphone was a bad idea! “Oh my god!”, he spits through his giggles. “I can’t believe- haha! A-A cougar- HAHAHA!” You groan again and the urge to hide yourself under the sheets have never been stronger.

“Shut up Seven!”, you cry, his laughs growing in volume at the sound of your suffering. After what feels like forever, his laughter slowly starts to subside, but you can still hear his small giggles between his panting breaths.

“Wh-Why do you ask? What makes you think you’re a c-cou-”, he snorts and you can hear a loud BANG. “C-Cougar-HAHA!” You roll your eyes in exasperation and you consider hanging up on the redhead. He obviously isn’t much help now. Laughing at you isn’t going to do anything for your crippling sanity.

“If you’d just stop laughing, I’d actually tell you.”

“O-Okay, okay, lemme just,” he pants, chuckling under his breath. “Calm myself down… Hooooo~ I can’t breathe.”

“I wish you’d stop breathing.”, you mutter bitterly and he snorts again.

“So cruel ______! I thought we were friends!”, his dramatic yell does nothing but annoy you even further and you tell him so, resulting in another heartbreaking shout.

“Seriously Seven, am I one or not?” His pondering hum makes you nervous and you pull the fabric of your bedsheets taut between your fingers. “You’re gonna have to explain to me why you think you’re a cougar first ______,” he says. Your mouth twists, displeased. “Because personally, I haven’t seen you do anything ‘cougar-like’ in the chatroom.”

You muster up the loudest, most tired sounding sigh you could make and you hear him chortle in amusement. “My friends joke around a lot. About me being a cougar and all,” you explain reluctantly, letting the silk in your grasp fall from your fingers. You instead pick at the stitches in your shirt, a worried lilt in your voice as you speak. “You know how I’m one of the oldest members in the RFA? I told my friends that and well, yeah…” The way your voice trails off is suspicious to say the least, as if you were hiding something from Seven.

“That still doesn’t explain why they think you’re a cougar. You do know what that word means, don’t you? It means to be sexually interested in younger men,” he rattles off, so casually that you wonder if anything can embarrass Seven. Then, his voice turns into something mischievous. “So? Who’s the lucky guy?”

Your flustered sputtering confirms his accusation. Mortified, you turn your body and bury your face into a pillow, your shrill screaming muffled. “______?”, you hear. “______, c’mon it’s not bad to be interested in someone younger than you. And knowing you, you’re probably not interested in just sex, right?” You squeal at the lewd word, pulling another chuckle from him.

Eventually, you turn your head away from the pillow, inhaling to calm your nerves. “Yoosung…”, you breathe out.

“What about Yoosung?”

“Th-The guy I’m interested in… It’s Yoosung.”

“…”

Your teeth snags onto your bottom lip when a lengthy silence comes from the other end. “S-Seven? You there?”, you ask, voice shaky. “I know it’s weird bu-”

“HOLY SHIT!”, you wince from the scream Seven emits. “HAHAHAHAHA YOU LIKE YOOSUNG?! DAMN ______! I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE INTO COLLEGE BOYS! HAHAHAHAHA!”

“I hate you, I hate you so much,” you hiss into the phone. “Laugh one more time and I’m keying your cars!”

He chokes on his laughs, struggling to plead with you through hacking coughs. “W-Wait ______! Let’s be reasonable here!” Seven’s frantic tone in his hoarse voice brings a smug smile on your face. “My babies don’t deserve this! Take me instead! Please!”

You haven’t your rolled your eyes this hard since… Well, ever. “Will you just-! Help me?!”, you huff, the desperation clear even through the annoyance in your voice. “I… I really like him and I don’t want him to be creeped out when he finds out that I’m like 6 years older than him.” You cringe at the thought, heart aching at the image of Yoosung’s face twisting in disgust.

“You mean you haven’t even told him your age?”, Seven asks softly. He sighs, clearly disappointed in you. “______… Yoosung won’t be creeped out.”

“How do you know that?”

“Have you not figured out what type of stuff this boy’s into? Trust me, you’re fine ______. Just tell him. It won’t change his feelings for you at all.”

“His feelings? For me?”

His chuckle feels more reassuring now, the slightest bit of confidence seeping into you from the deep sound.

“He likes you too ______. Probably way more than you think he does.”

“And then he shouts at me for not getting the item in time! Like, how was I supposed to get it when I was literally carrying his sorry butt?!”

Yoosung’s whiny rants were nothing but adorable to you. Admittedly, you were a little disappointed that the only reason he invited you over was to vent, but Yoosung is Yoosung and you’re weak.

You sink into the comfy couch, head lolling to the side to watch as he talks animatedly about his LOLOL raids, hands flailing about and lilac eyes alight with passion.

It’s been a week since your… Enlightening conversation with Seven and it’d be a lie to say it hasn’t been crossing your mind ever since. In fact, it’s concerning just how much you keep thinking about it. Every waking hour - in the shower, while you eat, while you work - it refuses to leave your head.

“He likes you too ______. Probably way more than you think he does.”

If what Seven had said was true, then…

You wet your lips nervously as Yoosung stops his babbling, your silence concerning him. “______? Are you okay?” His eyes peer deep into yours, worry shining in his hues. His pretty pink lips were pulled into a frown. You want to kiss it off of him.

‘He likes you too…’

‘Just tell him.’

‘It won’t change his feelings for you at all.’

“I’m 27!”, you blurt.

Oh.

Oh shit.

“Wait- Shit! Fuck! I didn’t mean to-!” With a loud, excruciatingly painful groan, you bury your flaming red face into your hands. You hadn’t meant to admit it so abruptly! Stupid Seven!

You can hear Yoosung shift next to you, his movements making you even more anxious. “Uhm,” he finally says. “Well, I’m 21…?” You can hear the question in his voice and you groan even more in embarrassment. Great, now you confused him…

“______? C’mon, tell me what’s wrong!” Yoosung’s hands reach out to grip at your wrists, his touch sending electric shocks up your spine. His thumb rubs soothing circles into your skin, each stroke shooting an arrow through your heart. “You know you can tell me anything right?”

You quiver under his stare, teeth latching onto and chewing your bottom lip to shreds. “My friends,” you manage to choke out, averting your gaze. His wide violet eyes were not good for your sanity. “My friends were teasing me… A-About how I’m a cougar.”

“A cougar?” He cocks his head in confusion. “What’s that?”

You want to D I E.

“Well you see Yoosung, when a woman loves a young man very very much…”

His eyebrows furrow. “So you’re telling me, you love someone and your friends are teasing you about it?”

“W-Well yeah, but the thing is he’s… He’s way younger than me and they just like to joke about that.” Yoosung looks strangely conflicted now, eyes downcast and mouth a thin line; it’s worrying. “Yoosung…?”

“Who is it?”, he asks, painfully hushed.

You could only stare at the blonde, confusion clear in your eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Who’s the guy?” He looks as if someone had stabbed him, betrayal and sadness embedded in his violet hues. “Who’s the guy you… you l-love?”, he practically spat out the word.

A sudden, dawning realization falls upon you and wow holy shit I’m an idiot. Yoosung was jealous. Kim Yoosung was JEALOUS.

You couldn’t help the smile that split across your face and you shake your head at the ridiculousness of it all. “Yoosung,” you laugh, reaching out to cup his face in your hands, pressing your foreheads together. “His name’s Kim Yoosung.”

You watch his expression transition from hopeless to shock to finally, glee. “M-Me?”, he sputters, his cheeks a beautiful red. “You love me?”

Your nod had him beaming up at you, your heart stuttering at the sight. He places his hands atop of yours, staring into your eyes with adoration. “I love you too.” he sighs, pretty lips curved into a dopey smile. He leans in to press a kiss to your nose and you nearly cried from how precious he was.

“Kiss me properly.” You grin when you see how flustered he’s become, puckering your lips to tease him even more. Warm lips capture your own in a tender kiss and you hum, pleased with his boldness.

He pulls away to kiss your cheek, then along your jaw and up to your ear, your little gasps fueling his actions. His warm breath against your skin send shivers down your spine, your ears a bright red.

“You know,” he sighs, his hands sliding down to take ahold of your hips, tugging you closer. “If you were a cougar, I wouldn’t mind if you pounced on me.”

#yoosung #kim yoosung #yoosung kim #mystic messenger #mystic messenger imagines

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imasimpforshanks · 3 years

Note

Hello! For the Alphabet Request, could I get the angst Alphabet with Sanji or the fluff alphabet with Zoro, thank you so much! :)

Angst Alphabet - Sanji

a/n: thank you for requesting! I chose the angst alphabet but I kinda regret it now because omg ANGST IS SO HARD IT HURTS TO THINK ABOUT!!! but anywaysssss I hope you enjoy <3

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

Easiest answer ever. Yes. Sanji would take all the blame upon himself regardless of it really was his fault or not. Even if he wasn’t present at the time of the accident, he’d still blame himself and say it was his fault for not being there for you or being prepared for anything. He’d never forgive himself.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

It’s impossible to even imagine this man breaking up with you, ever. Seriously. He’s so passionate, and once he’s in love, he’s in love. There is no going back. BUT, I suppose, on the outrageously slim chance that he did break up with you, he would do it in the kindest way. You wouldn’t even realize you’ve been broken up with.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

If he were to make you cry, it would be entirely accidental. In fact, even then I can only picture Sanji making you cry tears of happiness. If he were to be the cause of your tears (one’s that aren’t tears of joy) he would beat himself up. He can’t stand seeing those he loves cry or upset in any manner.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

Denial would be the first emotion he expresses. It’s not possible, right? You can’t be dead. You’re not dead… because if you really were dead, it means he’s lost the light of his life. He’d be practically inconsolable for a very long time. Nothing would be able to bring back his usual liveliness. Cooking loses its appeal – I mean there’s no point if you won’t be the one enjoying his food. The Straw Hats are unable to do anything to bring back some of that fire. They get so desperate that Zoro even intentionally tries to cause a ruckus, but Sanji doesn’t react at all.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

His insecurities are the one thing he would never dear show to others. Not only would it result in endless remarks from Zoro, but, he doesn’t want to have to deal with the pitiful comments – ‘you’re not useless’, ‘you are wanted and needed here’, ‘we all love you’. Sure, he understands people are just trying to help and be reassuring but it just makes him feel worse. So, instead Sanji deals with this the only way he knows how: bottling it all up and putting on a façade.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

Fighting with you is something he hates doing. He never allows anything to get to that point. Sanji can’t risk losing you over a fight (no matter how big or small). Instead, he will apologize immediately, completely agreeing with everything you are saying. However, if it’s something he feels really strongly about (i.e your safety) he will sit you down and communicate calmly.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

The events of Whole Cake Island continue to eat him up. He knows he did it for the sake of the crew and the safety of the Baratie, but Sanji can’t seem to forget the way he disrespected his captain and hurt the people he loved the most (and the one’s that loved him too). The part that really makes him messes with him is that fact that Luffy forgave him instantly. To be honest, he wasn’t expecting Luffy to stay mad or hold a grudge, because well… that’s just not what he does. Even so, Sanji’s conscience is constantly telling him that he doesn’t deserve to be on the future pirate kings crew despite apologizing and being forgiven.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

Being away from you for long periods of time is one of the biggest causes of pain in the relationship for Sanji. He misses you like crazy and often finds himself distracted while thinking of you.

During the early stages of a break-up Sanji is likely to be a bit more reserved, choosing to keep to himself a little more. His usual enthusiasm lacks a little bit of oomph. Sometimes, late at night, when everyone else is asleep, he makes his way to the kitchen where he sits in the dark, cigarette in hand and quietly cries to himself.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

He would be FURIOUS. Not at you of course. At whoever the hell thought it was okay to hurt the love of his life. He would be in god mode and rampage to find the son of a bitch that would ever dear to lay a hand on his partner.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

Death glares are a staple in the Sanji jealousy inventory. He’ll glare at anyone who seems to be taking too much of your attention. He also becomes a lot more clingy, using any and every excuse possible to be near you at all times. It can become a bit much at times, so if you tell him to reign it in a little, he’ll try his best.

There is one person that he refuses to let you spend any time with. Unsurprisingly, that is Zoro. He gets extremely jealous if you pay even the most minimal amount of attention to Zoro mumbling lots of “Stupid mosshead, why the hell are you spending time with him anyway?”

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Something deep inside me wants to say yes. But, he is far too kind-hearted to take away someone’s life. It is a possibility though, if the other person was to kill his s/o, or anyone else on the crew. However, for the most part, Sanji would just beat the person/people black and blue until they can’t walk, talk, or eat anymore. Basically, he won’t kill them, but they would wish they were dead after he’s finished with them.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

When he was a child, he lost his mother. She was the only person in his family that truly loved and cared for him (okay his sister did too, to an extent). His mother believed in his dreams and passions. She treated Sanji like a true human being. Losing her was devasting and made him feel more alone than he had ever felt before.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

It’s very rare for Sanji to ever make any kind of mistake with you. He remembers every date, anniversary, achievement and milestone regardless of its importance. He doesn’t speak rudely to you, lash out at you or direct any sort of violence towards you.

So, the worst thing he’s probably done is accuse you of liking Zoro more than you liked him, because you would train and workout with him. It wasn’t that it was a serious or harsh accusation, it was just that this was a conversation the two of you have had time and time again.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?

Sanji occasionally finds himself waking up in a sweat, breathing heavily. He doesn’t have nightmares too often, but when he does, they are horrifyingly vivid. It’s as if he is a starving boy again fighting for his life. OR it’s as if he’s that lonely good-for-nothing screw up of a child, locked away in a cell. It’s frightening just how realistic these nightmares feel and to bring himself back to reality all he does is find you. He needs to hold you, look at you, smell your scent, hear your quiet snores… anything. You are his safe place, a sign that everything is alright.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

He wouldn’t get mad at you. It’s extremely unlikely (though not impossible). The only possible instances that could happen is if you were to disrespect his passion and talent for food. But lets be real… why on earth would you even do that in the first place.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

Whole Cake Island was a real game changer. So much was revealed about Sanji that he never wanted anyone to know. He was terrified you would think differently of him knowing that he was a ‘failure’ (note: you didn’t think of him differently at all). However, the part that really put a strain on your relationship was how you thought he had betrayed not only yourself, but the crew too. It really was a whole rollercoaster of emotions, but in the end the two of you were able to work through it, coming out stronger.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

This man is quick to anger. Even though his reactions are usually harmless, what’s to stop him from one day completely just blowing up and doing, or saying, something to hurt those he cares about.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

Of course, he would be upset if you rejected his confession, because a beautiful individual has just turned him down, but honestly, he’d just continue treating you as he always. has

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

There are definitely no scars - battle-related or self-inflicted - on his body (that we know of). However, mental scars are a different story. He has plenty of those from his childhood, as do a large proportion of one piece characters.

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

Never in his life would Sanji do something to break your trust. The closest it came was the incident on Zou and Whole Cake Island, it certainly looked as if he had betrayed you and broken your trust entirely, only for you to find out it was the complete opposite.

Many people think Sanji is the type of individual to cheat in a relationship. While I can see where they are coming from with this opinion, I strongly disagree. This may be an unpopular opinion, I’m not too sure, but, Sanji would never be disloyal in a relationship. Treating women properly is such a big part of his personality to the point where it is practically embedded into his muscle memory – he acts on instinct. So of course there will be times where he’s paying a little extra attention to some lady but there is no ulterior meaning to his actions – its simply his firm belief that all women deserve to be treated and doted on as the queens they are. Additionally, during the Dressrosa arc Sanji truly believed he was in a ‘relationship’ with Viola and as soon as he knew that he was trying his absolute hardest to pay attention to Viola and only Viola. His mind did wonder off to Nami and Robin but he would scold himself for that (and feel free to correct me on this if im remembering incorrectly – it’s honestly quite possible that I’ve made this up entirely LMAO it’s been a while since I’ve read and watched the dressrosa arc).

So, let me sum up again: No. Sanji has never done anything that has broken your trust.

(my apologies I really went off for a second there I’m SO sorry).

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

Oh boy, he’s practically incapable of going five minutes without seeing you. He misses you so much it’s crazy. Your presence is so soothing for him, so he gets really antsy and anxious in your absence.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

I seriously can’t see him lashing out at you at all. He would never physically lash out at you but, there may possibly be potential for him to say something harsh in the heat of the moment. It literally wouldn’t even be because of anything you’d done in particular. It’d just be a build-up of things and then you happen to be the closest person and the next person to say something, and it tips him over the edge, so he snaps. He apologizes as soon as the words leave his mouth.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Sanji hates, and I mean hates being unable to help those that he cares about. It’s one of the few things that makes him feel weak. He has a kind heart and is always wanting to protect those he loves, so he does everything in his power to be ready to move in an instant. He remains aware of his surroundings, and is always on guard so that he can defend and strike when the situation calls for it.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

The most obvious object of Sanji’s hatred is Zoro, however, I wouldn’t say it’s hatred. It’s a classic rivalry that is thankfully not rooted in any true ill will.

One other thing Sanji has absolutely no tolerance for is the inappropriate or rude treatment towards women, and food. On many occasions Sanji has actually physically and verbally fought others over their treatment of women and food.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

I know this is meant to be serious and super angsty but, my mind automatically went to the clear-clear devil fruit LMAO. Its canon that the clear-clear fruit is something Sanji wants but can’t have because it’s currently in use by another person. (to make up for this not angsty idea I’ll do another one).

Growing up all Sanji ever wanted was a family that loves him and treats him kindly. Sure, he had his mother (before she passed away), and to an extent he had his sister, but he never truly experienced a loving family growing up. However, the moment he met Zeff & the Baratie gang and then the Straw Hat Pirates he learnt something important: Family isn’t always blood.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

He tears up. A lot. He’s so conflicted between wanting to spend your final moments with you but also not being able to handle that pain. Ultimately, he decides to endure, holding your hand tightly and whispering everything he’s ever wanted to say - all his dreams about your future together and how he saw that playing out etc.

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #vinsmoke sanji #one piece imagines #black leg sanji #one piece angst #angst alphabet

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willag42 · 7 years

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Yuri!!! On Ice Fanfic Recs with Reviews ["A” Authors]

Note: Doing some major reformating of the YOI fanfic rec pages. The pages that include my reviews are now having the posts separated alphabetically by author (see below). I am also creating separate page(s) that allow filtering the fanfics by category. It's a work in progress, but I'm having fun with it.

This page includes my YOI fanfic recs (with reviews) for authors whose names begin with "A".

Note: For any authors whom I don't know the gender, I refer to them with they/them. If any authors wish to correct me, please do so.

AUTHORS REC PAGES: #0-9 -- A -- B -- C -- D -- E -- F -- G -- H -- I -- J -- K -- L -- M -- N -- O -- P -- Q -- R -- S -- T -- U -- V -- W -- X -- Y -- Z

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Refer to this masterlist for all of my YOI fanfic recs.

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ADreamingSongbird (@adreamingsongbird)

If you’re in the mood for some adorable, wholesome ship fics (friendship or romantic), then look no further than ADreamingSongbird’s fics. The character interactions are sure to leave you with a few extra cavities. I am particularly attached to the close friendship she paints between Yuuri and Phichit. But don’t be fooled, because she is equally crafty at twisting your heart into an agonizing, unrecognizable mess.

#bffs4lyfe

Rating: Gen Words: 10.6k Status: Complete Relationship: Platonic Phichit+Yuuri; (side) Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: BFFs; Detroit pre-canon; post-canon Yuuri/Victor wedding ❤❤❤❤❤ Summary: Detroit holds a special place in Phichit Chulanont's heart, mostly because that's where he met the boy who would become his lifelong best friend. Wait, no, scratch that - Detroit doesn't hold a special place in Phichit's heart. Yuuri Katsuki does. ❤❤❤❤❤ Review: Did I mention how much I love how she writes the friendship between Yuuri and Phichit? Because I really do.

The Rules for Lovers

Rating: Mature Words: 323.3k Status: Complete Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: Fantasy AU; Historical fantasy; Magic; War; Survivor's guilt; PTSD; Falling in love ❤❤❤❤❤ Summary: Prince Yuuri Katsuki has a duty to his country, above all else (his desires, his dreams, and his happiness included), and he knows this alliance will help to ensure the safety of his people. That’s the only reason he accepts Prince Nikiforov’s hand in marriage. The pleasant surprise, of course, is the part where they fall in love along the way. The unpleasant one, well... That’s a long story. ❤❤❤❤❤ Review: This is perhaps my favorite urban fantasy YOI fanfic, using modern technology but mixing in magic and monarchies. There's a lot of political intrigue, attempted assassinations, and murderous plots, which leads to a lot of dark, heavy angst, but the core of the story is LOVE. Warm, heartbreaking, self-sacrificing, but always present. And before all the angst started kicking in double-time, the sappy fluff was at tooth-rotting levels. Yuuri and Viktor are super soft in this story, building a fluffy, innocent relationship. The maturity rating is earned by the dark themes and twisted, manipulative plots by the antagonists rather than anything by the main protagonists. The series also contains a collection of side stories, mosaic, if you're wanting more from this universe. One of the best royalty AUs in the fandom.

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Adrianna99 (@iwritebetterthanispeak)

Prodigy

Rating: Teen Words: 122.1k Status: Complete Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: Alternate universe; Alternate profession; Music; Violist Yuuri; Violinist Viktor; Fluff; Angst; Minor injuries ❤❤❤❤❤ Summary: Viktor Nikiforov is the most talented young violinist in the world, so he's understandably devastated when an injury prevents him from playing professionally for at least a year. But when his mentor suggests he take on a student to keep from getting rusty, Viktor finds new inspiration in a place he never thought he would: a violist. Viktor Nikiforov wasn't at all what Yuuri expected, and when he accepts the older man's offer to help him win the most prestigious musical competition in the world, Yuuri gets a lot more than he bargained for. ❤❤❤❤❤ Review: Another fanfic that adapts the series into an alternate profession but makes several unique changes and improves upon the ending of the original series (if you've read any of my other reviews, you can probably guess exactly how it improves upon the original series' ending). That's obviously not the only reason to love this fanfic. The characters are a softer than their original counterparts, including Yuri, who I really sympathized with in the beginning when Viktor decides to take over as Yuuri's mentor. The fic places emphasis on pathos and developing the relationships between the characters. One wonderful aspect is how much presence Phichit has, since he and Yuuri continue living in an apartment together with Viktor in a separate apartment. As such, we get to see a growing friendship between Viktor and Phichit. The romance between Yuuri and Viktor blooms sooner in the story as well. Adrianna99 has written additional short side stories for this series that are also worth a look: Prodigy: Mirror Image, which approaches chapter 2 from Viktor's POV; and Prodigy: Phone Home, which is an extra from chapter 3 where Yuuri contacts his family. If you want to read a story that takes cues from the original anime, but goes its own path, definitely check this story out!

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AlexWSpark (@alexwspark)

Alex has an interesting, softer (but not too soft) interpretation of the characters that I really appreciate. The original anime is a comedy, so it amplifies certain character quirks “4 teh lulz,” but Alex takes care to not over-exaggerate, which can make some characters more likeable (*cough*Yurio*cough*). But don’t worry, Victor and Yuuri are still big pining messes. Alex also takes great care to develop healthy bonds between the characters in their stories, which is always A+++!

The Katsuki/Nikiforov Collector's Edition + DLC (Series, 4 works)

On Online and Offline Love Rating: Mature -- Words: 32.8k -- Status: Complete -- Summary: Gaming/Streaming AU: In which Yuuri and Victor are gamers, head over heels for each other, and hoping to one day come face-to-face. Of course, when two whipped, adorable fluff-balls are involved, shenanigans ensue...

On Bedhead, Bullets, and Bargains Rating: Mature -- Words: 18.2k -- Status: WIP -- Summary: Yuuri (GamerLevelEros) and Victor (GAria_VNikiforov): Gamers, streamers, friends, lovers. Families will unite, love will be spread and, of course, games will be played. But, as their relationship progresses, Yuuri will discover that their time apart carries much more weight that he could've ever imagined.

Our Aim is True Rating: Mature -- Words: 6.2k -- Status: Complete -- Summary: Yuuri (GamerLevelEros) and Victor (GAria_VNikiforov) are THE streaming power couple and as they approach their one-year anniversary, Yuuri decides that it's time to add another life-changing plot twist to his collection.

Katsuki/Nikiforov DLC - A Collection of Tumblr Drabbles Rating: Mature -- Words: 13.3k -- Status: WIP -- Summary: Tumblr drabbles based on HCs/prompts from both myself and followers. ❤❤❤❤❤ Words: 70.4k Status: Work In Progress Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: Gaming/Streaming AU; Video games; Mutual pining; Fluff; Dorks in love ❤❤❤❤❤ Review: An amazing gaming AU series with a wonderful light-hearted story where Yuuri and Victor are Ye Ol’ Gaming Gods on Twitch who fanboy one another and live, breathe, and think in game metaphors. Like, seriously, I am deeply impressed with all the corny yet fantastic gaming analogies. It’s like living in a gaming otaku’s head. Gaming fans will understand more of the references, but this is a wonderful series of fics that can be loved and enjoyed by all. If you are seriously a fan of Victor and Yuuri being pining dorks, then you should definitely check this one out!

Unexpected

Rating: Explicit Words: 65.5k Status: Complete Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: Canon divergence; Victor knows that Yuuri does not remember the banquet ❤❤❤❤❤ Summary: Banquet AU: In which one impulsive midnight decision leads Victor Nikiforov to Yuuri Katsuki and, of course, everything changes, a.k.a Drunk!Yuuri has no chill, a.k.a Victor experiences #allthefeels. ❤❤❤❤❤ Review: One of the better canon divergence fics I’ve read. This only takes place up through the first regional competition, but it’s able to keep the characters and situation fresh by changing the order of event and have the characters be more mature and likeable. Yuuri’s anxiety still causes trouble, but he is more open to Victor’s presence and they form a friendly bond quicker; Victor is aware that Yuuri doesn’t remember the banquet and reacts with care; and Yurio is way less of an asshole. I love this spin on the story.

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Anonymous

Across the Universe

Rating: Teen Words: 30.7k Status: Complete Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: Multiverse AU; Dimension travel; Soulmates AU ❤❤❤❤❤ Summary: In an alternative universe, Yuuri has just won the GPF at Sochi — and he’s miserable. He lost everything that mattered to him several years ago when a tsunami hit Hasetsu, and after throwing himself into his skating, he’s achieved gold, but the win is hollow without others there to share it. Things change when he’s transported to another universe, where GPF champion Victor Nikiforov is about to drown himself in the Black Sea. According to legend, only those with a deep connection can draw someone from across the universe. But Yuuri and Victor have never met before in their respective worlds; perhaps someone out there knew how much they needed each other. ❤❤❤❤❤ Review: I love both the premise and the execution of this fic. In Yuuri's universe, Victor and all of his family and friends from Hasetsu are dead. He's achieved a gold medal in Sochi but his life feels hollow. In Victor's universe, Yuuri was the one who died in the tsunami (though everyone else survive), and Victor is feeling hopeless. In their moment of need, Yuuri is transported across dimensions to Victor's universe, a common occurrence within that universe such that systems are already in place to help such people adapt and create a new life there if they wish or to be sent back. Victor's universe is fascinating in that it's more technologically advanced at that point, despite the year being the same, but competitive skating is trailing with quads still not being a thing. I like the take on how both Yuuri and Victor agree that this is actually a good thing since quads damage skaters' bodies and wear the joints down even more quickly. Yuuri puts on his performances that won him the GPF a few times, but decides to stick to the universe's rules so that he can focus on the performance more. There are a lot of struggles with adapting to the new world, but overall, it ends up healing everyone. As soulmates, Victor and Yuuri eventually find life and love with one another and soothe each other's broken souls.

#Victuuri fic recs #YOI fic recs #A authors

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talesfromacrip · 4 years

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more ehh thoughts (recent edition):

w o w

can’t even speak my damn mind anymore in this house I guess without getting the whole, ‘get out then if you don’t like it here. look for a section 8 place and blah, blahhhh’ speech.

the signature speech of my parents when I get on their ‘last nerves’..

all just for speaking my mind. lovely

all bc I said something in regards to something political my dad was talking about. then saying black lives matter after bc it was also apart of the conversation

(which is my opinion)

that word doesn’t sit well in my parents ears.. my dad to be specific apparently.

he then started saying I should just look for somewhere else to go and that if I say that again, something will happen. (not anything violent on me,but make me leave to somewhere else type of happen )

guess my parents (specifically my dad) wants me dead if he wants me to go out and find somewhere else to go. it’s not like, idk, i have a fucking immunocompromised system or anything like that ya know?? also.... during a fucking pandemic as well ?? helllloooo, old man?? i just don’t know anymore sometimes with my parents

caught me off guard a bit and hurt really fucking bad.. like, wow. if that’s how you feel, then let me go which you won’t and won’t admit.

used to it though which is silly to say, but I can’t do anything much about it even if i tried. so, I must deal for now anyway I can.

we settled our differences though which, I’m glad, but I hate that I was the first one to do it. shows how it is in my family at times

at least my mom and few friends are on my side. ridiculous to be treated like this for having a fucking opinion.

doesn’t help either to get teased about it. like I haven’t been most of my life already ya know, shit.

sick of this house sometimes. the people in it, I should say.. sigh

———

I feel like I’m not, as ‘feminine’ as a lady should be. adds to my existing body probsss

can’t put makeup on. can’t get my nails done. can’t use bath bombs. can’t use facial creams or certain acne products. can’t buy clothes I’d like to shape my body and whatnot.. it goes onnnn. I would like to do what a lady likes to feel/look her absolute best ya know.

I can’t though. trying?????which doesn’t really go anywhere much tbh

I have an unused makeup palette and lippies going to absolute waste in my drawer.

which, cost me gooood money bc gooood brand. treat myself.

to see it go to waste though,is heartbreaking...

I could be using it now during the pandemic,but I have no one to help me with it. I can’t do it myself with my fucked up arms/hands either so that’s a nope.

my mom won’t help me and I’ve asked. she has more important things to do than make me look like a little clowns spawn.

I have so many ideas and I can’t execute them as I’d like. never can and it hurts. maybe on a drawimg, but having it applied to your face is a much better experience. very relaxing as well,but to take off.. that’s a process

doesn’t help that I’m told I’d look better with it as well, which totally helps my self esteem ya know. "it suits your moon face and covers those acne bits.."

fucking hell.. like, let me be.

guess not though it seems :lllllll

I feel gross about my skin.. dry and flaky at times from my medication and bc my body is a lil ass. it’s fucking oily on occasions as well.. ughhh. a whole nightmare, in my opinion

small acne scars,pimples from an imbalanced body in miscellaneous spots and places where they shouldn’t be.. I hate it.

I cannot look at myself without wanting to scream sometimes. I just stare and flip through a plethora of thoughts until I’m sitting there watching myself cry

I can’t buy the right skin products without suffering a break out or some kind of allergic reaction either. that’s how ‘sensitive’ i am.. ughh and people think it’s sooo fucking easy to take care of your skin.

help me out then and do it for me instead of telling me when I’ve said why I couldn’t in the first place..

fucking shit

I use to do my nails and paint them different colors almost every other week or so when I was younger. that was when I could move them to a certain extent. now i just can’t much for that. maybe?but I don’t want to risk twisting my wrist again. which, oddly helped a bit, but I’m not risking it

can’t even paint my right hand without leaning into a terrible spine position bc of my curled in fingers. it’s "so easy" though.my big ass it is

so, I just leave them bare nowadays

I have chipped and or broken nails anyway from fidgeting and anxiety. so, that’ll get in the way when they’re colored

sigh

bath bombs are the most elegant form of hygienic self care. a bubbly concoction for your skin to dip in.. ughhhh. sounds so relaxing and funnn

can’t sit in a fucking tub though to enjoy it and I don’t have the walk in ones. just a plain walk in shower. every time I see someone post about them, I melt inside. so pretty with the glitter fragments and the colorsss...mm

how I wish I could endure a porcelain tub to soak and forget about the world for a moment.

I can dream, but that still hurts as well.

I used to wear slim fitting tops for my stomach bc I was one of the chubby ones ya know.

now, I want to use them more bc my body doesn’t look how I thought it would be at my age. due to medication and lack of movement, just made it worse and it’s not my fault. feels like it is though and I tried. still am and it’s been hard lately with the pandemic. massive buying spells again so, some healthy goods are not available.

apparently though it seems nowadays being ‘thicc’ is in when years before it was absolutely frowned upon.

I got teased for being ‘thicc’ and now I’m somewhat getting praised for it?? kinda weird circus did I buy tickets for? unless I didn’t??

like, what do y’all mean, now it’s in????? stop being such a rude wad of shit and quit playing with people like this.

I don’t know what to accept much anymore and it’s bothers me so damn much

even if you do get praised,you must meet the standards. with some that is, I should say. must be at least some sort of skinny. some sort of, shaped being that I don’t really want to explain bc I feel it’s obvious.

some disabled folks are almost never in this section and when so, seems very fetishized.

hopefully this paints a small picture or whatever size you prefer your canvas to be. I’ve already talked about my body and more like this just gets me upset

———

uggh why are people still making stupid party plans, going to crowded places and doing other irresponsible shit... during a fucking pandemic?? It’s literally s o fucking irritating.

these people do not grasp this it seems, but ooooooohhh. gotta go out and risk it for someone who doesn’t even care about my health,others and even themselves.

fucking dumb

funny to see them complain about being home and all bc of this. like, how do you think I’ve felt and countless other disabled folks like me? sucks h u h. no freedom to go anywhere for risk of a fucking accident or worse, d e a t h.

it’s easy as hell to stay home and keep yourself occupied but apparently it’s a big ass deal

read, write, draw, cook, c l e a n. go out in your, idk, backyard as your outside relief?? is it really that b a d of a need to go somewhere??

especially when eventually it’ll drain you and you’ll eventually go back h o m e anyway ??t’s ridiculous.

"you should be thankful you can even go out."

yeah, to appointments, groceries, and concerts o n l y.

I don’t have the fucking privilege to go out at my own leisure and when I do, I have to plan like a mf.

it’s not easy. can’t drive. van is always busting on us. parents are my only source of a ride. can’t even generally go out anywhere bc of stupid stairs and all that.

I swear. every time I see a friend, mutual or family put something like that.. irritates me. I wanna comment so bad,but I don’t want to start anymore drama.

maybe soon I will. who fucking knows

———

i miss shows and all, but I just don’t as much.

I’m paranoid to think of going to future ones now..

I’ve already missed a majority of concerts my whole childhood and teen years due to my disability.

I don’t want to miss out on my young adult life now that I’m somewhat in a ‘better state’ bc some of y’all don’t want to be cautious and follow rules.

shows are therapeutic for me, but idk anymore now if it’s makimg me like this

disabled folks like myself who enjoy these shows are in so much fucking danger, it’s ridiculous.

we already were anyways with moshing and all.. which I know some act like they don’t know.

y’all are so desperate to go like, what about the other fandom folks who can’t even attend these shows though?? sad

these lives performances some artists have been doing are perfect and we need to support them more with this format. encourage the fuck out of them like the do to us with their music and whatnot.

I was so fucking thankful DGD did one.

it was a great time, but not so great when everyone is like, but what about an ‘actual show’?

it’s just, never enough with some of the fans I swear. irritating

yeahhh ,lets risk the fuckin band/bands getting sick so they can play for us. yasssss. shows how much they read up on the members and care about their health/wellbeing.

———

being sober brings back a lot of suppressed memories. nights are bit hard when going through this

makes me remember quite a bit of conversations that others have probably or most likely have forgotten by now as well

irritating and sad. that’s how I get some of my dreams as well which cause lack of sleep at timessss y a y

———

I, over share too much at times it seems.. how the hell do people want to know me though????

if I’m making the situation, odd or whatever, fucking tell me instead of ignoring it and trying to move on with some stupid shit

if I can fucking sit through y’alls oversharing.. can with fucking mine

———

I hate how everything that’s so wholesome and genuine I see, I can barely even do and say..

I especially hate how I imagine it with someone who deserves better. this is wearing me out I swear to fucking god

I put some of my eggs in the wrong basket.. again

ohhh fucking boooyyy

least it’s a good basket..

———

sometimes I feel so uneducated when taking with friends. my mind is like a fucking mad libs book on new game plus.

it’s blanks out and replaces important vocabulary with some silly childish shit instead

#therapy journal #uhhh

0 notes

forestwater87 · 7 years

Text

“JASPER DIES AT THE END” (S2E5) MASTERPOST: THE WRITERS ARE BRILLIANT (AND DAVID IS CUTE, TO NO ONE’S SURPRISE)

Hey guys, you know what everyone wants to talk about with this exciting episode that teases major character death and angst?

A book about a monster made of frozen meat!

No? Just me? Well fuck it, I’ll save the John Dies at the End talk for the end of this post, but someone is going to listen to me freak out about it, okay?! Because it is goddamn brilliant!

First though: Baby Davids.

SO MANY BABY DAVIDS.

This is actually not a Baby David. It might be hard to tell, considering he’s an adorable baby, but this is actually a grown fucking man.

Which makes the fact that he’s driving a car pretty reassuring, I guess.

Although he must stop making that tiny little pout mouth, because I might actually dehydrate myself from crying so many tears.

It’s so cute. It’s too cute.

David, I’m really gonna need you to keep your eyes on the road more than 30% of the time.

Good boy.

Also, is his steering wheel at dick height? That . . . seems wrong, somehow. Where is it?

(Also HopefullyPessimistic pointed out that he’s not wearing a seatbelt. To be fair, I don’t think this car has seatbelts, at least not in the front, but that’s not very safe!)

DAVID

LOOK AT THE FUCKING ROAD

Thank you.

GODDAMN IT YOU’RE A BAD DRIVER!

Anyway, they’re all going to the hospital because the kids glued Space Kid to cardboard, I think? And apparently this isn’t something that can be cured by, like, putting him in water until the glue and cardboard dissolve.

To be fair, I wouldn’t trust whatever chemicals are put into the glue Campbell buys (and let’s be real, probably makes). It might be a good idea to seek immediate medical attention.

Why are the kids there?

Shh, don’t ask questions. Just look at how cute Max and Nikki are.

See, isn’t that better?

Anyway, Nikki gets David talking about his time as a Camp Campbell camper just like they are now! (Seriously, how many fucking times has David used those exact words?)

David is overjoyed!

(And adorable.)

(And still not looking in even the general direction of the road!)

Max is . . . less so.

Nikki’s face!

David please, you’re gonna kill someone!!

At this point Max gets so upset he apparently starts tripping balls. Or . . . maybe they all do? Maybe this is the result of glue fumes?

I can’t imagine it’d make David’s driving any worse, at least.

And now . . . flashback time! Which means . . . CUTENESS AHOY!!!!

Oh.

This . . . is not what I was hoping for.

If Campbell could just try not to look like he’s eye-fucking the audience I’d really appreciate it. He’s like his very own Workplace Sexual Harassment video.

Baby Jasper is precious. I realize that there is no non-baby Jasper so calling him “baby” is a bit unnecessary, but . . . look at him. He’s such a baby!

The way Campbell defers to QM is oddly sweet. I wanna know more about their relationship.

I’m gonna need someone to explain to me how that moth is alive after being presumably squished between the pages of the book. Also how the Quartermaster is reading without looking at the words.

There is no good way for me to animate QM’s mustache, but trust me, it moves when he talks and it looks kinda like an octopus swimming and I find it unreasonably endearing.

UH OH GUYS

WE GOT TROUBLE

HIS NAME IS DAVEY

AND HE’S THE TOUGHEST OH MY GOD I CAN’T HE’S JUST SO FUCKING CUTE SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE LOOKIT HIS LITTLE FACE AND HIS NEAT LITTLE HAIR POOF OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD

Ahem. Anyway.

Glad to see that David never outgrew his “pushing people out of the way, often literally to the ground” phase. He’s apparently been doing that since . . . 9? 10?

Okay, is it just like a rule that female counselors have to have hair that does that? This two-tone thing is ridiculously confusing, though at least this one doesn’t look like a hat.

. . . Wh-where did you get that can from, David? Where on your tiny body did you fit it?

Gasp!

No, honestly, that does upset me. Don’t litter; it’s disrespectful and disgusting and grown-up David would be very disappointed.

Davey would like you to know that he thinks nature is stupid. At least, that’s what I think he’s saying; it’s hard to concentrate because he sounds like Mickey Mouse with a sore throat.

Also he keeps making faces that are so cute I almost drown out the dialogue by screaming.

I know I call David a kitten too much, but look at me and tell me you don’t see an angry kitten. Actually, don’t tell me, just unfollow me, because we clearly will never agree on anything important.

Boyfriends? Boyfriends.

BOY. FRIENDS.

You might think breaking out “square” and “dang” are cheesy even for David, but this was probably like 2002 or so? It’s a little-known fact, but obscenities actually weren’t invented until 2004, most people believe with the success of Lil Jon. So this was actually appalling for the time period.

Davey gets to go on some magical probably-vaguely-racist nature quest with Jasper and Campbell! And boy, is he thrilled!

There are going to be a million comparisons to young Davey and Max by everyone who watches this episode, which makes totally sense because they’re so similar and it explains so much about David’s attitude toward him and his refusal to never give up and all that.

It sounds like there’s a “but” at the end of that, but there isn’t. It’s just going to happen a lot. And that’s a pure and good thing.

I need adult David to roll his eyes even, like, a tenth as much as Baby David does. It’s so fucking cute it hurts.

Jasper is a good good boy.

You know, I have a crimelord/FAHC AU where the Quartermaster is Campbell’s right-hand man.

I’m starting to think that maybe it’s actually the other way around.

(Also David’s being totally unimpressed and Jasper’s general confused faces are so good.)

Cam, never make that expression again. Please. For the children.

David actually says “SIGH.” Even as a “bad boy” he’s the biggest fucking dork.

So they’re off! Exploring! They don’t get very far, but Davey’s face goes on a motherfucking journey all its own. Join me, won’t you?

The noise I made at this face was inhuman. I sounded like someone had stepped on my throat really hard.

That was an adventure of a lifetime, and I hope you all enjoyed taking it with me!

I literally wrote “Max” instead of “David.” I’m just not used to see that little face so angry.

This is the “check out the balls on new kid” moment for Davey, when he seems actually kinda impressed that Jasper’s telling Campbell they’re lost. Sure, Jasp isn’t a new kid, but his “this oughta be interesting” expression is great.

“We are FUCKING lost!”

No, he didn’t say that. How great would it have been, though?

Actually, @hopefullypessimistic84 has my new favorite theory, and I’m just gonna paste it here because it’s genius:

since David was the one telling the story to the trio...we don't know for sure Davey said "Darn"

The boy could've been saying some no-no words

I’ve adopted this as canon. Jasper had to learn how to swear somewhere, right?

I have no comments. David is just like 75% eyes and it’s very important to me.

David: torn between resentment and admiration for Jasper (and probably Campbell). And crossing his arms like a little dweeb.

I feel like we need to have a a conversation about how Jasper looks exactly like Griffin McElroy. (To me, anyway. I might be the only one who sees it.) Which came first, the design or the voice?

David is perfect and Campbell gives no fucks.

Some cute Jaspers, mostly for HopefullyPessimistic but let’s be real, we all need some cute Jasper in our lives.

Have I mentioned that Davey is cute? Seriously, there’s like nothing else to this post. He sounds like Mickey Mouse and looks like a ball of sunshine had a baby with a kitten.

JESUS CHRIST, CAMPBELL

Can we talk about how David knew Campbell was going to kill him? Because he’s the one telling this story, after all.

Sad David is my favorite thing. Sad Baby David is even better oh my god.

“I know I’m a bad kid —”

“I’m rotten to the core!”

Sweetie, you're like if a Chihuahua got bitten by a radioactive young Haley Joel Osment and transformed into the cutest thing on the planet.

You’re no Max.

Can we just have a conversation about how Davey looks when he says “and even if I’m not as good as he is”?

Baby

BABY

How deep does this inferiority complex go?! When did it start?! WHO KEEPS TELLING YOU YOU’RE NOT AS GOOD AS OTHER BLONDE-HAIRED BLUE-EYED TWINKS I’LL FUCKING PUNCH THEM DAVID YOU’RE SO PERFECT AND LOVABLE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE SHHH DON’T BE SAD

Seriously, though, this is goddamn heartbreaking. He’ll later say that saving Jasper was reaching his “full potential” — and I mean, yeah saving someone’s life is pretty fucking impressive, but at ~10 years old he shouldn’t consider being the sidekick to someone else’s story his main accomplishment.

Baby. Don’t do this to me. I can’t handle these feelings.

BRAVEHEART!

There are times where I just have pictures and no commentary, and I ask myself if I should just not include those pictures, because I don’t have anything interesting to say about them. And then I look at this motherfucker’s face and think no, this deserves to be stared at.

Stare at it, guys.

I should point out how cute all the kids look, but I’m pretty sure the only thing that exists for me right now is DAVID’S FACE WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN LOOKING AT MY BOYYYYYYY

(Also good job letting those eyebrows grow in, babe. It wasn’t a great look.)

This is the closest David will get to rolling his eyes as an adult, and we need to appreciate it.

NIKKI WHERE IS YOUR SEATBELT

THIS DRIVE IS SO UNSAFE

I AM SO STRESSED

These images are good and pure.

Wait wait wait wait WAIT

TWINSIES! (Or . . . same-person-sies. Whatever, he kept this expression into adulthood and I am here for it.)

As David’s mouth gets smaller, so do the colored parts of his eyes. You know what I’m going to say about this.

Is this post too long? Yes. Is it going to stop me? Nope!

DON’T FUCK WITH DAVEY. HE’LL FUCK YOU UP.

God this post is getting stupid

Look at him prance! That’s the intimidating prancing of someone who is gonna fuck you up

Jasper has been underrepresented here, which is a shame because he’s a lovely child and wait where’s the second half of that bear?

I mean, it’s standing on its hind legs, right? But . . . where’s the rest of it?

@ciphernetics pointed out that if Jasper had lived, he would’ve had these big scars across his chest and David would kiss them and now I want to cry so fucking thanks for that, Netics. Let’s all be sad together.

Does anyone else get a weird “Scuttle looking at human objects” vibe from this? Just me?

Just me, then.

Don’t point that there, Campbell! That’s how lawsuits start!

David is not fucking around.

NOT. FUCKING. AROUND.

(Honestly, I’m slightly amazed that he got out of this forest alive. By the way, if I’m lost in the wilderness, please just use technology to save me. I don’t give a single fuck.)

David is the O.O face. He just is.

“I’ve seen bears do some pretty crazy things before.”

What . . . what kind of impossible things, Cam?

Why are you making that face, Cam?

Was it . . . was it sex things?

Look at little detective Davey! He’s my Scooby son and he can’t do anything without looking like a total dork and I love him more than life itself.

Here we have Heartbreak OH SHIT: A Triptych

(shoutout to Lemony Snicket for teaching me what a triptych is, btw. I swear I’ve learned more from those books than actual school.)

LOOK AT DAVID’S FUCKING SWEET MOVES!

Okay, someone explain to me how he could avoid getting stabbed/clawed/stomped on by three bears two bears and a maniac, yet cannot avoid damage from a single solitary bus? What happened to your moves, Davey?

Oh my sweet Jesus LOOK AT THIS FACE GUYS

Also I might just be a monster, but my response to these events would absolutely be “HOLY SHIT THAT’S THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!” not “hey you didn’t have to murder the bears.”

I mean, you kids realize that bears . . . run? Trust me, you weren’t getting far without some good ol’-fashioned bear murderin’.

Fuck, I can’t believe I just complimented Campbell. Ew. Ew. Ew, this feels wrong and weird and gross, like when you fall asleep without brushing your teeth. Ugh, let’s move on.

Well, they seem to have recovered. (Good. Appreciate the awesome.)

I’d also like a story about how the 3 of them carried those bears down a mountain, but I guess that’s for another flashback.

He absolutely thinks he’s gonna get in trouble here and my heart cannot handle it. Honey, please. Tell me who hurt you.

Thaaaaat’s unsettling.

I mean, it’s not, it’s adorable, but eyes shouldn’t do that. Makes me wonder if Campbell slipped him something up on that mountain.

Wouldn’t put it past him, is all I’m saying.

LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS!

LOOK HOW MUCH JOY HE’S GETTING OUT OF FEELING WORTHWHILE FOR ONCE IN HIS SHORT LIFE wait a second.

That’s awful.

Does David seriously love Camp Campbell because it’s the first time he’s actually felt like he accomplished something? Is this episode actually really fucking depressing and not in the way we all assumed it would be?

Shhhh don’t think about it! Look at how cute he is instead!

Awww I just wanna snuggle him. And give Jasper immediate medical attention.

(Seriously, Campbell, the fuck.)

Here we have a grizzled old man stealing a small child’s nipple. I know it’s too high let me have this goddamn joke okay

I’d call David an asshole for not caring about Jasper’s sadness, but considering how much this episode made me feel like crying in a corner already, I think it’d be pretty mean to shit on this poor kid’s happiness by pointing out what a jerk he is.

Besides, we don’t know Jasper. He was kinda a dick in the beginning of this episode too — though to be fair this was all told by David, so I have to wonder how much of that was his obvious hatecrush.

“Ha, look at me! I’m so great! Don’t you . . . don’t you think I’m great, Jasper? Jasper, are you seeing this? How great I am?”

H A T E

C R U S H

Cute cute cute cute cute

Also um the fuck

David

This is why people on Tumblr call you gay

It’s this

All of it

All of the this

Going off to hit on/brag at his depressed totally-not-crush. Guys I ship this so hard.

Okay but

what am I supposed to SAY here?!

He’s beautiful!

He makes me want to cry!

I made a legitimate squeaking noise at the cuteness of these pictures!

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY, DAVID?!

WHY ARE YOU SUCH SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS?!

Fuck this fuck. Ruined my stellar commentary. (Ha, yeah okay.)

And now for the part I actually wrote first because I’m too excited, and nobody else will care about!

John Dies at the End is a novel by David Wong (who also serves as the narrator; think Lemony Snicket, if he was a drug-addicted depressed nihilist asshole who . . . okay, just think Lemony Snicket). It’s also a movie; I haven’t seen it, I keep meaning to, I’ve heard mostly-good things. The book is a masterpiece and I love it so goddamn much.

So what does it have to do with Rooster Teeth?

Well, the title’s an obvious nod, which Miles has just straight-up said. But also the titular John is an upbeat, recklessly gung-ho guy always eager to jump into anything, which usually leads him into getting into trouble — and dragging Dave, the reluctant, cynical asshole who wants nothing to do with these adventures, into shit with him. Now who does that sound a bit like?

It’s something of a stretch, but I don’t think it’s too far off: Jasper is John, the energetic do-gooder with a serious ego — hell, they even have the same place in the title — and David is Dave Wong, the reluctant hero who despite not wanting anything but to be left alone, ends up doing the right thing because he just can’t fucking not when shit gets real and no one else is willing to step up.

And then, obviously the major reference is in the fact that John does not die at the end of John Dies at the End. I’m honestly upset that I didn’t see the end of this episode coming, because the title basically tells you, if you picked up on the reference, that Jasper will absolutely live.

Which he does.

Also the sense of humor is a great combination of deeply poignant and so immature you can’t believe actual adults sat down and wrote it. So, obvious parallels.

THESE WRITERS. THEY ARE SO FUCKING GOOD.

(This is what being an English major does to you, kids. It’s not good for your social life. You will overanalyze everything. Obviously I highly recommend it.)

#campcamp #campcamp season 2 #john dies at the end #cc jasper #cc david #cc campbell #cc qm #cc quartermaster #david wong #campcamp masterpost #to be fair david didn't die and get replaced by a hell-dimension version of himself with an identical personality and memories #(that we know of)#so it's not a 1:1 comparison #also there was no meat monster #which is a shame because that part scared the shit out of me #my stuff #no proofreading #not this time

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deadsculs · 8 years

Photo

( » » tasks | 008 ; media inspiration. )

Thomas Shelby ( Peaky Blinders )

Sergey ( The Tribe )

10K ( Z Nation )

Bennet Drake ( Ripper Street )

Nathan Wuornos ( Haven )

Nikolai Luzhin ( Eastern Promises )

T h o m a s S h e l b y —

I actually didn’t set out to have Alexi so similar to another character his fc plays but that’s how the chips fell. I will always associate Red Right Hand by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds with Alexi, as it’s the opening number to Peaky Blinders. I imagine the loyalty to his family would be much of the same for Alexi if any of his family had survived. The measures Tommy Shelby is willing to go to get his mission done is Alexi to the utmost. By orders of the Peaky Blinders, indeed.

Traits: Brutality, lonely, smoking gestures, grim, loyal

S e r g e y —

So I watched The Tribe expecting inspiration for Sherman Doyle ( one of my characters on hold ), as it’s set in a deaf school, but I found more inspiration for Alexi rather. The darkness and depravity of the movie fits well with the type of life Alexi has had to lead. The final long shot of the movie — that’s what I imagine would be the level of coldness, calculation, and blood lust that Alexi had whenever he decimated raider parties. I highly recommend The Tribe but talk to me about trigger warnings before you decide to watch.

Traits: Revenge driven, isolated, has a desire to fit in, second-in-command

1 0 K —

Besides Z Nation being amazing comedy-horror, 10K definitely is one of my inspirations. The skill he has with weapons ( especially sniper rifles ), the lack of social graces, the unassuming look about him hiding a practiced killing machine, everything fits so well with Alexi. Also the heartbreaking fact of 10K being seemingly custom built for the apocalypse struck a chord with me for Alexi. I’ve always seen Alexi as seeing the world catching up with the hell he’s lived in for most of his life, rather than the world going to hell and while that’s not exactly 10K’s take on the world he lives in, I feel like 10K and Alexi are running on parallel tracks.

Traits: Shy, socially awkward at times, weapon skills

B e n n e t D r a k e —

The first time Drake was called a leashed dog, I instantly connected Alexi with him. Or maybe it was the opening where you’re introduced to Drake, bare knuckle boxing in service of his police department to take down an illegal gambling ring. Either way, Alexi is so like Bennet it hurts. He shares the same intense, follow you to the end of the world, type of loyalty as Drake but rather than to a police department or a single man, it’s towards his camp. Also the ptsd Drake suffers from being in and surviving war and way he thinks he’s stained? Alexi to the bone.

Traits: Physical, willing to take or dish out a beating, loyal, taste for self-punishment

N a t h a n W u o r n o s —

Oh, Nathan. Nathan, honey. Aside from being a heartbreaking character by himself, he’s so similar to Alexi in many ways. If Alexi ended on the other side of the criminal justice equation, I think he would have turned out like Nathan. Dogged and pragmatic, tireless and protective of his town. His hesitance to form friendships and romantic relationships are also a major component that lines up nicely with Alexi’s personality.

Traits: Difficult childhood, withdrawn, serious, dry sense of humor

N i k o l a i L u z h i n —

And last but not least, Nikolai. He was the original inspiration for Alexi. IN fact part of Alexi’s name is influenced by Nikolai. Nikolayeivch literally means ‘son of Nikolai’, which should be telling because I consider him to be a descendant of Nikolai. He shares the same cleaner/odd-job type of role I think Alexi likely occupied. The absolute devotion to his rules is also very Alexi, and much of his bearing and conduct is pulled from Nikolai along with Tommy Shelby.

Traits: Russian mob member, loyal, clever, brutal, skilled, code-driven

#( » » tasks. )#( » » tasks | 008 ; media inspiration. )#hst:task #i probably could do a better edit and maybe find some other people #but this has been put off for so long i just wanna finish it lmao

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prideguynews · 6 years

Link

Mason in clinic (Image: @theaidsmemorial | Instagram)

With developments in treatment, it is uncomplicated to imagine that no one dies of HIV linked disease any a lot more. A heartbreaking testimony to The AIDS Memorial social media starkly reveals this not to be genuine.

The AIDS Memorial operates pics and stories from mates, families and associates of individuals misplaced to AIDS. Unsurprisingly, the bulk of the stories date back to individuals misplaced in the 80s and 90s. On the other hand, Amy Christine is a mom who misplaced her son to HIV-linked ailment in 2016.

My son Mason

‘My son Mason was 19 a long time aged when he was identified with AIDS and progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy (PML). His ID DR was ready to identify that he almost certainly contracted HIV close to the age of fourteen. Mason later admitted that he knew when — he experienced satisfied an more mature person online,’ states Amy.

‘Mason later told his Grandma that he usually felt like he experienced the flu but he in no way complained. That was Mason . . . sweet, form, a pleaser. His mates told me that he was usually there to cheer them up, the life of the get together.

‘He experienced a contagious chuckle and the most attractive blue eyes. He experienced a glimmer in his eyes like he knew anything the relaxation of us didn’t. He was sensible and funny. He aided his Excellent-Grandparents with their groceries, mail, and garbage. I remember my tiny boy with the nicest fingers to keep, usually a tiny sweaty.

‘He experienced three unique sorts of pneumonia’

‘Mason was hospitalized for the previous time on February 9, 2016 right after he experienced moved to Las Vegas,’ she proceeds. ‘He experienced been there fewer than a year, hadn’t witnessed a doctor, and stopped all treatment. His CD4 depend was three, he experienced three unique sorts of pneumonia, his entire body was lined with Kaposi’s sarcoma lesions.

‘It was later uncovered that the lesions experienced moved into Mason’s tracheobronchial tree and tummy, he was dependent on life assistance. He experienced misplaced the use of his legs from PML and was little by little dropping the use of his arms. He weighed 80 lbs.

‘Mason fought right until March twenty, 2016. The nurses reported he was tenacious. He in no way complained. Needle stick, right after needle stick. Surgical treatment, right after medical procedures. Paying times with out readers for the reason that his dad and I couldn’t remain the overall time (we stay in KY so we flew back and forth). He in no way complained.

‘Mason handed on March 21, 2016 at twelve:35 in Las Vegas as I browse him Harry Potter and his Dad browse Twas the Night time Just before Xmas.

‘Mason nonetheless has the nicest fingers I’ll ever keep.’

‘Thank you for sharing and for loving your son’

Accompanying the submission are two pics. Just one of Mason as a healthful-seeking teenager.

Mason prior to he commenced to slide severely ill (Image: @theaidsmemorial | Instagram)

The other demonstrates him in clinic. He is emaciated and lined in Kaposi Sarcoma lesions. It is a stunning impression, reminiscent of the early times of the AIDS epidemic.

View this post on Instagram

. “My son Mason was 19 years old when he was diagnosed with AIDS and progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy (PML). His ID DR was able to determine that he probably contracted HIV around the age of 14. Mason later admitted that he knew when —he had met an older man online. . Mason later told his Grandma that he always felt like he had the flu but he never complained. That was Mason . . . sweet, kind, a pleaser. His friends told me that he was always there to cheer them up, the life of the party. He had a contagious laugh and the most beautiful blue eyes. He had a glimmer in his eyes like he knew something the rest of us didn't. He was smart and funny. He helped his Great-Grandparents with their groceries, mail, and garbage. I remember my little boy with the nicest hands to hold, always a little sweaty. . Mason was hospitalized for the last time on February 9, 2016 after he had moved to Las Vegas. He had been there less than a year, hadn't seen a doctor, and stopped all medication. His CD4 count was 3, he had three different types of pneumonia, his body was covered with Kaposi's sarcoma lesions. . It was later discovered that the lesions had moved into Mason’s tracheobronchial tree and stomach, he was dependent upon life support. He had lost the use of his legs from PML and was slowly losing the use of his arms. He weighed 80 lbs. . Mason fought until March 20, 2016. The nurses said he was tenacious. He never complained. Needle stick, after needle stick. Surgery, after surgery. Spending days without visitors because his dad and I couldn't stay the entire time (we live in KY so we flew back and forth). He never complained. . Mason passed on March 21, 2016 at 12:35 in Las Vegas as I read him Harry Potter and his Dad read Twas the Night Before Christmas. . Mason still has the nicest hands I'll ever hold.” — by Amy Christine @amyz72 . #whatisrememberedlives #theaidsmemorial #aidsmemorial #endaids #neverforget

A post shared by THE A I D S M E M O R I A L (@theaidsmemorial) on Oct 8, 2018 at 1:19am PDT

The tribute to Mason has prompted a fantastic quantity of social media response. Among individuals to remark is Olympic skier Gus Kenworthy.

‘This a person just broke my coronary heart into a million parts. Thank you for sharing and for loving your son, Amy. Not all who fell victim to the epidemic were so lucky to have family members like you beside them.’

If somebody with HIV is identified shortly right after they get the virus, and if they acquire suited treatment, they can be expecting to stay a very long and healthful life. There can be a multitude of motives why individuals never get tested, or fail to stick to treatment regimes.

The founder and curator of The AIDS Memorial told GSN the significance of sharing posts these as this.

‘This put up, yet yet again, highlights the truth individuals are nonetheless dying of AIDS! AIDS is not above inspite of developments in treatment which have remodeled HIV from a loss of life sentence to a chronic ailment. And there are several motives why individuals nonetheless die and they’re not usually crystal clear slice.

‘It’s complicated primarily thanks to the related stigma and late prognosis that can direct to loss of life! Sadly this situation is not heading to improve whenever shortly taking into consideration that of the 1.1 million who are HIV constructive in the US, 1 in 7 nonetheless do not know their standing.’

In 2017, somewhere around 940,000 individuals died all over the world from AIDS-linked ailments. Of these, 13,000 fatalities were in Western and Central Europe and North The us.