#Big Orange Scooter

[darthagustd]

So unsurprising that cops can get away with their involvement in sex crimes, but someone falling over drunk on a parked electric kick scooter is a big deal

let's not forget a certain someone is talking about opening another club after being in prison for sex crimes and no one gives a fuck

sorry to compare apples to oranges but be so for real

[nerdgal27]

Home 

Sunshine dapples the deep green forest. Burn the late morning dew glittering jewels in mid air. Coffee mug in hand black liquid slosh onto cold fingers as I wobble down the tiny staircase of the camper pickup truck. An old rust bucket is the last bit of my savings can afford. 

Sit on a lazy afternoon in a cozy chair. Stare at the endless view of evergreen pines and misty gray mountains is worth it all. Take in the cool sweet wood scent of green fill sore lungs. Swivel chair further away from an old gravel path. Wind over the lush undergrowth. Where customary rodents cover last night's tracks. Eat the empty nut shells and left over trail mix I left for them. Can’t stomach to eat anything again. What’s the point now?

Shield away by Mother Nature’s warmth and green walls. Her sweet melody chirps and whispers in the silence. The sticky sun glues me under the camper cobweb awning. Spiders big enough to play the banjo. Thought grows a chuckle to who said that once. Forever gone away in the forever distance. All for the best. For everyone. For them most of all. 

Free from pain, from it all. It has been done. No need to know the outside world. Can almost imagine it all. Not now. No need to think about any of that at all. Other than wonder how hot this coffee is for me to sip. 

Deep rich aroma takes me away from the pines. Old giggles bounce from concrete walls. Sparks spray in all directions mingles the smell with old metal. When muddle hands rub black grease over my eyebrow. Old scooter parts vomit all over the floor. A victim to be torn apart, rebuilt to either drive faster. Or explode. 

Phone rings memories back to green and soft blue reality. Muffle in the far depths of the 1967 brown and green camper. Can’t be right, I shut it off last night. 

Crawl back into the sauna brown dungeon. Follow the ringtone to the front. Weave over the hot tea water bottles on the fuzzy floor. Brush last night’s debris aside in the trap of doom between the front seat. Bright pink old life shivers in a frenzy. 

I shouldn’t turn the phone over to see the screen. This needs to be my new life now. Can’t go back anyways. How can I like this? How can anyone? Doing this for them. An glove box that only opens and closes by a swift kick is a good place to bury it all away. Turn off all of the past in orange velvet darkness. Leave it all tucked away. Return to the fresh sirene new life. 

Canadian geese honk over the tall tree peaks. The way the flock swoops down a long terrain down from blue skies and feather clouds. Sunrays beam grasshopper hisses mid day summer heat. Follow the distant honks and splash. A cool lake lap over dry cracked feet sounds perfect. Clear this heavy head of mine. 

Wander back inside. Cool worn out duds for lake water. Cold beer in hand, tuck comfy chair under my arm. A handful of fluorescent pink tags roll in hand. Nice way to return to my new home without getting lost. Wait for another set of geese to flutter above. Lead the way out of the hot sun. Weave between the trees. Step over tree root monsters. Smile at the odd bird or animal hops by. 

“We don’t keep secrets, right?”

I whisper to the memories. “No, you don’t.” 

Another voice in the dream rasp. “He still loves you.” 

He shouldn’t, neither should any of you. Too broken, not enough. Difficult. 

Out here. All are no different than any woodland creatures from the largest moose to the small voles scurry by. What is worse, to remember the words. Or the subtle silence of the first night when all of this began. A sink full of awful empty decisions. The oldest brother’s quiet gaze. Patterns flourish in the forest around me. Bright shapes shimmer all that is long gone behind me. Nothing wrong with a cold one in hand on a hot day. 

Besides, take in all of this. A wide dark turquoise green lake. Full of life. A single loon lone coo along with the tiny dots of geese in the water. Soft gentle slopes into sand and clay. Show evidence of deer were here moments ago. 

He misses you that’s all 

One’s voice. Does he?… Of course he does. How could he not? Everyone else knows. 

Sit down in the chair. Set down the last 3 cans of a 6 pack. Miraculous 3 survivors of a drunk blackout yesterday. Crack open heaven. Slide it down the fire throat. Feel it burn over it all. Take in this brand new peaceful life of quiet. Should bring out a couple fishing poles for tonight. If I remember to come back for them. Can’t go back to anything nowadays. 

When will I see you? 

My old self. When my voice had more life. 

Soon, Sweetheart, it will be like old times. 

There’s a reason why they are called old times. It was a good life. A loud life, somewhat chaotic. The endless laughs, pile ons, pushing around. Plastic cockroaches in cupboards, glitter in ninja smoke bombs. One time Mikey and I replaced Raphael’s shower gel for blue dye. Guy was a grumpy Smurf for 4 days. His grouchy growls. The wooden spoon in papa turtle Smurf’s hand. Mikey ran for his life. I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. Wash over the more recent screams and pushes away. Even more of the dark and bleek. 

When closet doors rattle. Whisky bottles smash in the far distance- 

No. Not again. Never speak of it again. None of that ever happened. 

Water swishes numb ankles. Whirl to baby ducks splash nearby. Over work, Mother of 6 squacks her children to behave and paddle behind her. Chuckles at their little feet blur under the clear water. Match the same speed of their cotton ball wings. Can remember when Mikey used to run the same way. Anytime Donnie chases Mikey out of his lab. Sometimes so then Donnie and I could play science and pupil again. 

Water waves between my toes. Shallow parts warm from the sun. Heat numb limbs. Swallow back to boiling hot water. Scorch delicate young skin.

Mommy it’s too hot. 

No…stop

Screams echo. Blister scar. Bare to the summer heat. Every single one remembers every pain. Why did I wear this tank top? Why am I out here? Can’t stay.

Hands stick on to lawn chair. Water waves slosh against the sandy ridge. Small legs kick. Hot water splashes everywhere. Hands shove deep under water. 

Sweetheart, breathe…

Violet voice whispers. Take his invisible hands. Squeeze them. The way he told me to. No thumb rubs my hands. Take in all of the cool fresh pine. Have to get used to this alone. Least this way is the best. No one’s burden any more. Can pick up this lawn chair anytime. 

Wander back the pink flag trail. Lose myself to millions of songs birds and butterflies flutter by. Brush soft long grass under fingers as I go. Crisp fresh air. Think about what bait to use for food tonight. Another thing I will have to start getting used to. 

Yellow happy face atena swings in between shrubs. Wave me down the direction home. Swig the last bit of powerful robust dark beer. Ignite pain away in a smooth burn. Drown darkness where they belong. 

Soft breeze hushes the forest buzz. Breathe in strong bitter fuel knocks the taste of beer. Great animal growls a deep hungry growl. Take me back to a cool violet room. To a lab chair and elastic bands for hair tying. 

“Sweetheart!?”

 Old life hollars me dead frozen in the tall grass. Hidden behind thick honeysuckles. The low hanging tree branches block the meadow opening of my new home. Don’t need to see how close the voice is. Can hear his feet crunch back and forth in the gravel. Rusty truck doors whine open and slam shut. Yellow smiley atena whirs in a hyperactive spaz. Empty cans clang on the far away floor board. Fast in a frantic, more than the time he caught Mikey in his mutagen supply. 

Footsteps wobble in the far depths of camper sweet camper. No.

He can’t be here. No one can find me like this.  I did this for them. They need to stay away from me. Far from any ear shot here. Can drop everything and run. Spin to do so. Lungs leap to jump for the hot pink trail back to the lake. 

Get back here! 

Hot greasy hand clap thunder. Drop the entire lazy afternoon supply. Oh crap no! Don’t drop them.

Metal chair legs clang against beer cans. 

Shallow gasp in the wind. Pushes me faster down the trail. Teenage bare feet pound thistles and burrs I weaved around before. 

Child bare feet blur down a hallway. Slam the bedroom door shut. 

“Tessie, wait!” 

Oh shit! Dammit! All the curse words Mikey should never hear. He found me. Faster down the hill. Over the log. Reach for the ridge. Follow the open blue sky between the evergreen trunks. 

Slip under fast large hands. Hardwood scraps small bare knees. Away from him. Away from the man. Go go go. 

Feet hush to the quiet breeze and soft rainfall of leaves. The broken footpath behind me, bare. Maybe turned back to the shellraiser for something. No matter. Least I can slow down, and lungs can breathe. 

Leaves rustle ahead. Green blur drops from above. Dead in his tracks. The tall slender turtle raises his hands and snatches me. Should have known. Been raised by ninjas for Pete sake. 

Jerk arms in his grip. Swallow the rock down. 

“Donnie, what are you doing here? Let me go.”

Sink away from his gaze. Loosen his grip to one hand on my arm. 

He pants, “I’m not here to fight, and I should be the one asking you the same question.” 

Rip his hand off me. No point in running. His long legs follow behind down the path. As I pick up the lawn chair. 

“No phone call, no note, do you know what I found in that camper?” His feet pound behind. 

Pick up what’s left of the 6 pack. Dangle the last 2 cans yet to be drank. No point in hiding it now. Plus he said he’s not here to fight. There’s no need to answer. Lanky green hands rip the plastic rings. 

“Hey!”

Whirl back to the two cans soar into the forest. Shove Donnie back. 

“What the hell was that for? That stuff ain’t cheap.” 

He towers over me. Loom a dark shadow over. Calm eyes narrow into deep violet slits. Deepens his sharp tongue. 

“Do you know how long I drove to find you,

How long we’ve been looking for you?” 

Step out of his shadow. Continue down the path into the sunlight. Home sweet home lies ahead. 

Shrug as I go, “You didn’t have to. Just decided to take a trip, that's all, what’s wrong with that?”  

Old life lingers in the shadows. Listen to teeth grit splinters. Boy did he skip coffee? Why is he hear anyway. Everyone knows so what’s the point?

Set the lawn chair back under the shade of a hunter's green awning. Since Mr. Grumpy in the corner threw a good set of cans. Guess I’ll have to get more. Crawl back inside the brown velvet coffin. Weave over the thrown cans on the floor. Guess I’ll have to clean this soon. The camper door slams shut. 

“I wouldn’t shut that, unless you want to melt.” I speak to the ghost by the door. 

Silence. Gonna be civil now. Want to burn holes through my head? Go on, do it. Everyone else is gone, why should anything matter. Open the mini fridge. To an endless supply of bottles, cans, and what I forgot most. Leaps off the shelves, plop to the fuzzy floor. 

Oh shit. 

“…what is that?” 

He’s the brainiac and yet he’s asking me? Should be pretty obvious by the label. Let his long legs weave around me. Take a bag from the fridge. I Crack open a cold one. Fire burns down all those dark heavy nights. Think back to all of the colorful waves last night.

“…T-this…” 

Leave him in the camper. Let him figure it out himself. Wasn’t supposed to be here to begin with. Might as well read what brand I use, for what? Who knows. 

Set the can in the lawn chair. Camper door shuts, no slam? Weird. Shouldn’t he be furious or something? 

Been standing there for a while. Turn to him at the metal steps. Shaded from the hot sun. Bag shivers in between his fingers. Lost to the horizon. That I’ve seen thousands of times in his brown eyes. His internal gears whir. He never looks like this unless…

“You do know, right?” 

Silence answers. The deep rise and fall of his chest. He sinks down to the flatten tall grass. Let the bag fall between his fingers. A look I make when I wake up from a nightmare. Before I would run straight to his bedroom. 

Set the can away. How? What?! 

Rise up from the old seat. I ask, “The guys never told you?” 

Rise from his palms, bambi eyes round wide, “They know about this?!” 

“Well…yeah”- 

“How long?” He mutters, waiting for an answer, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Take a step away from his ember coals glow. Shrug an answer, “I thought you knew, how can everyone else know but you Donnie, you know every inch of the city.” 

“How was I supposed to know?” He shoots from the ground. Bury me in his height, “You never call or text me anymore, and then leave the city to who knows where, does Mikey know?!” 

Mikey. Golden sun, white dust particles float over the sweet turtle. Bath in old and new sunlight. Breathe that old dry air of that lazy morning. 

Nod in silence. Hoarse throat stops all words Heavy numb limbs drag back inside the brown coffin. Large queen size mattress at the back. Warm by the sun. Shut all of the curtains away. Curl all away in a ball. Close away from all life. This is not what is supposed to happen. 

“Sweetheart?” Footsteps wobble the camper. 

No answer. Feel the camper sink down with him. Warmth touches my arch back, soft thumb rubs me to the old cool lab. All those years ago. 

“What are your plans for being out here?” He whispers. 

No, he already knows now. He can’t know about this too. It will crush him. Shiver under his soft palm. There’s no going back. I’ve made this decision. Already caused enough problems as it is. First Leo. How it all turned Raph down into this dark hole. Times I’ve picked him up because of what I’ve done. Tried to fix it all for Mikey. Tried to be happy for Mikey. Yet…I am here. This is what I deserve. Donnie shouldn’t even be here. Why is he still here?

Weight shifts the mattress. Warmth drapes behind all along against me. His long arm slides around me. Pull me back tight against his beating heart. Donnie’s muzzle nestles deep into my shoulder. It doesn't take much for him to know. 

Brush back strands from my cheek. 

He whispers, “You don’t deserve to go through this alone.” 

Roll in his arms. Drown myself into this chest I’ve missed so much all night long. Muzzle in his sweet scent and warmth. Squeeze all pain in his tight arms. 

I shake, “I-I Don’t kn-know… if I can go back, big brother, I-I’m too broken. No one should be stuck with me”- 

Soft lips plant firm silence my heavy forehead. 

“You are never too broken, it’s okay to have space for a while when you need it.” His deep voice murmurs in my ear. 

Cling on to his belt. The same way when I was small. Take me back to the memories. Away from all of this. Let all of the pain drip onto his chest. Choke on my words.

As my brainiac brother traces slow circles on my back. Sweet rich coffee fills my world. Over the fresh pine. More warm than the summer hot sun. A soft sigh quells more than the lone loon. I am back home. This is home. Safe. Can hide here as long as I need. 

 He whispers, “I will stay for as long as you need me, little pupil.” 

Bit through all the painful tears to fall. That roll down my brother’s chest. Yesterday I was in darkness. Tomorrow, who knows where I will be. For now I am with Donatello. My close friend, my big brother.

I am home. 

[thatguywhofedme]

Scooter bound

I looked in the rear view mirror as I see you stuffing yourself with your second family size bucket of chicken, tearing into it like an animal with gravy all over your face and clothes

You saw that i was enjoying the show and decided to lift up your shirt to rub and squeeze that big gut of yours with your hand covered in grease and chicken crumbs

"glad... You're..... Happy.... With the...... Results... Frrrrttthhh..... Ufffff...... Of your...... Deeds....."

You couldn't help but blow a kiss towards the direction of your massive partner while they continued

"I.... Know.... You..... Wanted me..... Big....... UUUUUuuuuuuurrrrrrppppppp........ Mmmmmhhh....... But you've...... Made...... Me..... Gigantic......"

Indeed that's exactly what you've done, with your incessant need to stuff more down your piggy's throat with all the takoeout imaginable and literal lard shakes, in seven years, you've transformed a skinny twig into a 694lbs slob that only wants to eat, fuck and get fatter each day

"that's the goal dearie, but you're still too skinny for me, I mean you're still able to come shopping with me and that's unacceptable, we need you pinned to your bariatric bed instead of using that scooter to go anywhere"

The scooter was barely able to move under its own power anymore, it's not that easy to transport almost 700lbs of blubber, who would've guessed

It was fitted with an oxygen tank in the back with a cannula that was needed pretty much all the time

While you heard a moan from the back because of what was said, you saw your destination approaching

"we're almost there sweetie, you better finish that bucket quickly"

You said as you saw your partner eating even faster, finishing the bucket as you parked the custom van in the handicap spot

You open the sliding door and wait for the ramp to lower itself as your partner move the scooter down the ramp and you two head towards walmart

"you better be ready to fill this basket of yours, you're going to need all the calories you can to reach 700lbs in at least two weeks"

"yes........ Daddy........."

You both got into the store, picked up a shopping cart and began feeling it up full of frozen pizza's, cakes and other unhealthy treats

After a while, you felt someone squeeze your butt from behind

"honey....... I'm..... Uuurrp... So Hungry....."

You thought about it and had an idea

"follow me"

You heard the scooters engine struggling to work with all the added weight but saw your feedee following you nonetheless

You got to the bathroom and held the door open for the scooter

"get into the handicap stall, I'll be back in a sec"

You said winking at your morbidly obese partner

You came back with a box of cupcakes, a cake, a bag of chips and a 2 liter of orange crush

You got into the stall and locked the door behind

You began feeding your partner the bag of chips by hand, which was empty in not even a minute

Then it was time for the cupcakes, plopping one at a time in your partners mouth while chewing them

And finally, it was time for the cake but.....

"honey...... I'm...... Getting..... Really..... Full...... I...... Dont think...... I'll be...... Able........ To...... Do..... This...... Bwaaaaarrrrppp"

You looked into their eyes and they knew exactly they had fucked up

You took the 2l bottle, opened and began pouring the content down their throat

After 2 minutes of hearing your partner struggling to drink the fizzy content, you took the bottle away from their lips when the content was empty and waited for their stomach to release the air

After a few seconds, you heard a loud

"BBBWWWWWWUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPP.......Aaaaaaaaahhhh"

Then, you uncovered the cake, put your hand behind their head and pushed their face in the cake

"don't you dare say that to me, you WILL eat everything I put in front of you piggy whether you want to or not"

You heard your partner chewing as fast as their chubby cheeks would allow them and that's when you both heard it

The sound of the door opening with footsteps coming towards your stall

You knew you were fucked if they discovered you had "stolen" some food to feed your partner

Fortunately the door to the stall next to you opened and not even five minutes later, they were gone

You looked at your partner and realized they were very horny

Rubbing your legs and wanting a sloppy kiss

You obliged and that's when they spilled the beans

"this...... Was...... So...... Hot...... Fuck....... Me......... Uuuuurrrrppp........ Now......."

You started kissing your blobby partner while reaching between their huge thighs and finding what you were looking for

You both began breathing heavier, well, your partner was more panting and wheezing like the fat pig they are

You then got your hands in the cake and began feeding them the rest of it by hand

"you sexy pig, look at you, so fat you're not even able to get yourself off properly, at least you got me to help with this little issue of yours, which I'm sure you don't mind"

To clarify your point, your partner put their hand behind your head and pulled you in for a kiss, exchanging bits of cake while making out

Your partner then began oddibly moaning and when they were about to cum, you put their face in the rest of the cake to make it even messier, but also to muffle the scream of ecstasy coming out of their greedy mouth

Seeing your satisfied partner panting like never before, you began cleaning the mess and licking all the frosting from their face and fingers while catching their breath

"now....... That..... Hit...... The....... Frrrrttthhh........ Spot........"

You kissed them and began making your way out of the stall while watching your partners ass sag off to the sides and grabbing some blubber in the process

You continued your shopping for more gluttonous treats to feed your piggy later on

[scarletwinterxx]

WE NEED MOREEE Taeyong dad au honestly all ur dad aus r so good liekkkk

a/n: hiiiiiiii ~ honestly i didn't think about writing more abt taeyong dad au, i loved writing the first one and how simple and cute it was. but never say never 😅 so here we areeee. thank you for liking my stories🤍🥺

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

The sight of your husband sneaking around the house to prepare for the twin's birthday. The big 7. It feels like yesterday you were inside the bathroom making Taeyong look at the pregnancy test first because you were too nervous.

As the two kids grow up, they showed more of their individuality which you and Taeyong love watching. Minseo the ever confident one, she took a liking in joining school musicals and performances. She's always been the star in your household and she shines just as bright whenever she goes. Minhyuck, on the other hand, is a big bookworm. As soon as he started to learn how to read, there wasn't a day he didn't have a book on hand. He's also very into drawing much like his dad. You have a collection of his drawings hidden away to keep forever.

If there's one thing you and your husband learned about being parents, it's that time really does fly when you have kids. One day you have to hold their head up for them and the next second they're out making their own marks in the world.

"Do you think they'll like this?" Taeyong asks, looking at the rows of balloons he got for the twins. "They'll love it"

"I got the pink scooter with purple glittery handles Minseo wanted and the orange bike Minhyuck wanted"

"Good job"

"Are we forgetting something?" "Taeyong love, what are you stressed about?" you chuckle

"I just want tomorrow to be perfect and a day they will always remember. They only turn 7 once" he pouts, recalling the days when his babies were younger. Indeed wondering where did the time go.

"Aw love, come here" you open your arms for him, stepping in your embrace and burying his head between your shoulder

"They're going to love all the gifts you give them, we taught them well to appreciate even the little things"

He picks his head up to look at you, "They're not babies anymore"

"I know, I'm sad too but more so excited about they're future. I'm excited to see them explore more, know more about themselves, grow up" you play with the ends of his hear on his neck, looking into his big eyes both your kids inherited. Thank the heavens.

"Does it make you sad, that we never had kids after the twins?" you ask him

"Of course not" he answers without missing a beat, "You, Minseo and Minhyuck are my everything. There isn't a day I felt like there something missing in me the moment I met you" the same words he told you the day you got married.

After the twins birth, it was very stressful for your body to the point you were told by your doctor it was going to be very dangerous when you decide to have another kid. Taeyong is right, the twins are enough and there isn't a day you felt like your family isn't complete. But there are moments, very few, where you wonder what it would be like if you had more kids.

"If we're blessed to have more then that's good, if we're not then that's okay too. Losing you isn't a risk I will ever take. Don't ever feel pressured about that, okay? I love you very much and this life we created together" he tells you, holding your face in his hands

"I love you too" you give him a sweet kiss, finishing the night.

The next morning, very early you get the cake ready for the twins. Waiting for them to wake up. You light up the candles when you hear voices coming down the stairs,

"Gotta keep your eyes closed okay, no peeking" Taeyong appears with one child in each arm, carrying both down the stairs. He puts them down before telling them it's okay to look, "Happy Birthday!" you and Taeyong say at the same time, the two kids immediately smile upon seeing the surprise waiting for them.

The two blow their candles and open the gift you and Taeyong got before you eat breakfast as a family.

It's days like these that makes life worth it, making you excited for the days yet to come and the future you're going to live. You look over your husband, playing with the kids and letting them put icing on his face and think your self how much you love your little life.

[roobusmcscroobus]

Fuck it. Muppet High School AU ideas (Yes this is based on the abandoned (??) Muppet High project but like better because I'm hot like that)

- Crazy Harry isn't allowed to go to school anymore.

- Only this town is in a vaguely 50's time period. It's not the 1950's, they're just weird.

- Statler and Waldorf run the place where Fozzie works at (The Jim Henson Company made him a soda jerk????) They pay him far below minimum wage and he doesn't know.

- Kermit's the coolest frog in town because he's the ONLY frog in town (Except Robin.) This man couldn't handle a La Croix

- Piggy regularly gets her friends to jump Denise when she's leaving class. The only reason she hasn't been expelled is because her family regularly donates to the school.

- Gonzo's origin story is him ordering some bullshit like an orange soda float and Fozzie going "Hey, I'm gonna need a snowball for this freak", thus awakening something in Gonzo. This wasn't on purpose, Fozzie was just doing his job

- Animal doesn't play guitar, Janice just asks him to hold it for her while she's at cheer practice.

- Beaker is failing speech and debate because nobody can understand him.

- Rowlf is only on the football team so he can catch the ball. It's like a big game of fetch for him.

- The Electric Mayhem are constantly smoking weed in the 1st floor men's restroom. You cannot use that one.

- Rizzo is one of Fozzie's coworkers and he adamantly refuses to use the soda jerk codewords because he thinks it's dumb

- Scooter gets bullied for being gay despite the fact that everyone else is also queer

- Bunsen has started about 9 fires so far, and only 6 of them were in the school's science classroom.

- The Swedish Chef also works with Fozzie. He barely has a grasp on the English language and he's staying with Sam Eagle

- Sam is class president. One time, he almost beat up Floyd for sitting down during the Pledge of Allegiance

[eminsunnytoons123]

Disclaimer: this will always get updated And when I reblog it, it Means that it Got updated again.

The muppets Show: Life in the boarding home

Characters list:

The muppets:

The muppets (they appear in almost EVERY EPISODE, but not every episode is about them, they just help the Main supporting muppets that have most attention in each episodes) - Kermit, fozzie, miss piggy gonzo, Rizzo, Pepe, rowlf, yolanda, scooter

Main supporting muppets (they appear a Lot just like the Main ones And they are VERY important to the series And episodes, And im adding more) - sam eagle, Skeeter, dr teeth, Janice, Lips, Floyd, animal, Zoot, Vicki, Clifford, digit, Waldo C Graphic, bean Bunny, Lindbergh, Leon lizard, Flash, solid foam drummer (aka Kimberly), beard, zondra, Ubu, chip, Constantine, swedish chef, Wayne And Wanda, Mildred huxetetter, miss mousey, afghan hound, baskerville hound, Camilla chicken, Walter, Crazy Harry, Lew Zealand, uncle deadly, Bobo bear, dr Phil van neuter, waldorf And statler, beauregard, link hogthrob, dr Julius strangepork, Marvin suggs, the newsman, Robin the frog, sweetums, thog, timmy Monster, the mutations, Annie sue, Denise pig, 80s robot, behemoth, big mean Carl, doglion, Fletcher Bird, Betsy Bird, George the janitor, foo-foo, gaffer the pirate Cat, Johnny fiama, Sal minella, mahna mahna, the snowths, Mr poodlepants, Seymour, spamela Hamderson, mulch, Bubba the rat, gorgon heap,

Reccuring/minor/additional characters (they sometimes or rarely appear in some episodes, but they even dont live with The muppets in the boarding home) - Hilda, Gladys, trumpet girl (Dolores), cliffy hatzis, cliffster Hatzis, Nigel, Mary Louise, selena the brunette haired whatnot, Tammy the red haired whatnot, Isabella the dirty-blonde haired whatnot, violette the brunette haired whatnot, merice the blue whatnot, Lauren the light Purple whatnot, flower eating Monster, Katherine Seahorsse Atlantic, Clara Hatzis, green muck Monster, angelco And devilzo, Angelica And demonica, kermgel And devmit, Jeremy the light blue whatnot, Mikey the orange whatnot,

Guest characters (these are the characters that appear in each episodes And sometimes have attention on them, or theyre from other muppets media And appear only a little bit) - wocka agent bear, Cosmo bopper, ghost of Christmas past, ghost of Christmas present, And ghost of Christmas future, green muck Monster,

Main supporting whatnot Show gang characters (and they appear in each episode to help the muppets with some problems, And yes theyre important to the story too, And im still editing this) - dermot the dog, miss tiggy, Ozzy woodchuck, Gustavo the King ladybug, Pierce the chinchilla, paisley the persian Cat, bonzo the amazing Monkey, Sid the British bulldog, dr tounge, ibeeria, Sgt Easton Oliver, yakim, vegetable, Mateo, auncle heavenly, ceco the andean bear, Leo the axolotl, raiden the semi radio person, Max Gerbils, una, Frederick the toucan, Jagger the Fox, Iggy D digital, dr quill Owens, zuri the chinchilla, snooper, Victor, kameron Gibson, Tristan Nelson Koala, crazed Gael, Maxwell Armstrong, Sammy the dog, Aleksandr the dog, tiana the fairy, dr Aristotle un wonders, kiyoshi, Napoleon Thibault, tarrasque, weather man, bi-bi, Sneeker, Remington the hippo, miss Batty, carina flamingo, italian culinarian, Mr. Parrotyno, Willa, Maverick the yeti, Clark the computer designer, Bartha the Ragdoll Cat, christoper the Ragdoll Cat, sea ocean witch man, O' Theodore Purple, the telephaty Brothers, 60's telephone, Miroslav Agovich, the trolls (bluan, huang And pinkery), yuna flowerwoman, chirping lovebird, ignorant Alfred, rude Oscar, naive lester, Cody the chihuahua, Garrett the pug, micah the Pitbull, Kathy And Kevin, Fred the janitor, adolpha the jungle parrot,

Main supporting teppums characters (the same like whatnot Show gang, they always help the muppets in any problems or trouble, And im still editing this) - timrek the sheep, madame camela, Evan the Elephant, Hector the brilliant, quade the fennec Fox, litvik the King cobra, arlo, dr linnaeus un shingems, Shane the american bison, Travis, Zane, lavi the King lion, stephany, dr Lips, Sgt Gideon Quinn, wilds Benner, Nicolas, Werner, Elias the Alligator, Abram the semi laptop Guy, Cassie, George E flyer, Liam the miniature horse, berengar the gecko, ben the otter, belladonna, Gunner the kapre, Arthur the game designer, tiana, madame gerbilsy, insane Axel, Asher the lamb, madame Li-Li, journalist man, gem the genie, tough Draco, glemsom Sebastian, monsieur gerbilso, Lionel the King lion II, Alfred And Chester, Diana the mermaid, Victoria the fennec Fox, sindy the verdin Bird, Raphael abadie, Federico agosti, rodan the Diamond Giant, Master Vincent, french has slinger, Daniil the dall sheep, Henrietta sunflowera

Main supporting parodies show characters - coming soon.... (Theyre not created yet, but soon will)

Main villains/antagonists - kermoot the frog, foozie bear, miss poogy, roowlf the dog, Bonzor the fantastic, paloma the flying shrimp, cici the mouse, dr dentist, janooce, flora, zotts, Lipst, animool, Camillo the rooster, soom the hawk, aunt goatella (she is a Nice Lady :3), Boryslav the frog, Tanya the red-brown haired whatnot, dr Vanessa van michigen, beba the Polar bear (she is a Nice Lady too), Jennifer Ferguson, schi-schi the red panda, Scarlett the black-haired whatnot, boombox catfish "Benjamin", Ruby the semi computery girl, Darren, Petunia parrot, Martha the Chameleon, Beeny the digital bee, pinks the news reporter Bird, dr Barbara, geekera, Mad Blake, Andrea zingler, Xavier, Ray the bigfoot, ash the Graphic designer, booper, British cooker, Wendy, Edward the antarctic fox, Thomas and Tristan, arabella And Frances, stormer, busher, solid cotton guitarist "sarah", yacoub the mouse, maria Santana, Beepera, Sebastian the Rhino, elids the garden witch troll, Rosalie the frog, miss persian Lady, reporter man, Hannah And Anna pig, miss mi-mi, Henry the mouse, maddison pig, Gabrielle Pig, golem rose witch, hadria MacAfee, fantastic Day green witch, Crystal snowe the snowy owl, galatea the janitor, the telekinesis Sisters, miss Theodora Huang, forgetfull Mirabella, mean penny, arrogant Mahira, 70s computer, Gavin frog, caleb frog, glothcher the frog, Giant rude Alexandro And Miranda gonzales

Muppets Monsters quintet (theyre the antagonists too, but they dont appear a lot) - ker-monster, ghoulfriend, wocka wocka bear, noseferatu and muck monster

And this is for all my besties/Sisters And brothers/pen pals who really love my Work, And that love me just the way I am And that always make me feel loved, And i would never let any of the besties And auntie that i lost make me feel more anxious And stressed out for what I fucking did to my blue haired auntie. And i will always care And love my besties/Sisters And brothers/pen pals no matter what. 💗

@splashy900 @kxllboii @cheezekennith @aquamarine-dream-queen @dayzsaclark @oscarandgrinchfan @moshywoosh @ilovescaredysquirrel2 @nuggetaubrey @sharkyy599 @nightkit92 @familyoffood @mysafespaceblog13 @thelazzyblogzz @sugar-miss1 @shrimpathizer @shypeachrunaway @iggyguyy @sophia-does-skits @typical-sophie @peaceforpeople @ben5569 @xxkurosakutisaxx @xxkurosakutisaxxaltofshitaccount @ducktoonz903707 @muppet-fan-real @artismeyou-12 @blackstar044 @acen402 @walt-diego-rodriguez @goatsarecool1 @nia1sworld @rumplestiltsbear @s4gefr0g @beeware-of-lulu @leafith

[desertdollranch]

Earlier this month, American Girl re-released a whole lot of long-retired stuff from Kit Kittredge’s collection. 

Kit herself never actually went anywhere. There was just nothing to buy for her. Doll, book, and that was it. But it’s the 20′s now, and AG is slowly turning the focus back to the historical characters. They’ve finally acknowledged that Kit is an icon and deserves to have the nice things that we all so desperately want to give her.

I was looking at the new stuff on the Wiki because I was curious to see if there were any changes made to anything. It’s part of the “homework” I do for the purposes of doll blogging. While doing that, I noticed that the page for each product mentions how much each item originally cost, alongside what it costs now. 

For example: Kit’s school outfit.

This was first sold for $22 when it was released in 2000, along with the first half of Kit’s debut collection. Now they’re charging $38 for it, an increase of $16 or 72%. I thought that sounded a little excessive, even if 2000 really and truly was more than twenty years ago and inflation has gone wild since the pandemic began three years ago.

So I ran the numbers through the inflation calculator operated by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. 

Look at that. It’s basically spot on. $22 in 2000, adjusted for inflation, is equivalent to $38.23 in 2023. I’ve been proven wrong.

I did the same calculation for her birthday dress and her pajamas, and those were both pretty much the same, since they were and still are similar in cost to the school outfit. 

Now for her cute little scooter, made from a box of California oranges.

This was a later addition to her collection, coming along in 2006 for the price of $24. In 2023 it is now being sold for $50, a $26 or 108% increase. Let’s see how that tracks when adjusted for inflation. 

Ooof. $24 in 2006 should only be $35.70 in today’s money, or $14.30 less than what it’s actually being sold for. So if this one feels a little overpriced, then it probably is, assuming that the materials and quality are the same. Both versions are made of faux wood, which means that the recently skyrocketing price of wood won’t affect this. Maybe there’s another increased cost somewhere that I’m not aware of. Or maybe AG has added a small nostalgia tax, a sort of “buy it from us or pay big bucks to someone selling it secondhand” reminder.

Another accessory that was brought back was Kit’s school lunch.

This set includes her metal lunchbox, an embroidered napkin, a cheese sandwich, an oatmeal raisin cookie, apple slices, and for some reason.... three whole entire raw carrots. (There’s nothing wrong with carrots, but like. When’s the last time you’ve even seen an adult eat three whole carrots for lunch. Carrots are huge.)

Anyway. It was sold for $16 when it was released in 2000, and now they’re selling it for $36, a $20 or 125% increase.

$16 in 2000 would be equivalent to $27.80, so her lunch set is overpriced by $8.20, assuming the cost of materials/labor have risen proportionally. 

And finally, Grace the dog. Named for her distinct lack of grace and adorable clumsiness. Sold for $16 when she was released with the second half of Kit’s debut collection. Now selling for $28 which is an increase of $12 or 75%.

A 75% increase is very similar to Kit’s school outfit selling at a $72% increase, so my guess was that this is going to be a more reasonable price hike.

Adjusted for inflation, $16 in 2001 is now equivalent to $27.30, so Grace is in fact underpriced by 70 cents! Personally I think AG charges a bit too much for all of their doll pets, but that’s just me.

All of this was really surprising to me. Inflation happens so quietly in everyday life. It’s only been really noticeable in the last three years, when it seems like everything has shot up in price. 

The inflation calculator goes all the way back to 1913. Now if you really want to see what those small changes look like after 90 years, check out how much a $150 doll like Kit herself would have cost in 1932, when her stories began: 

You’d only need $6.71 in your pocket to bring Kit home. Imagine that. 

[tacticalspider]

yOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE, LIKE, IN LOVE WITH ME OR SOMETHING. *cue reneé rapp*

(image description in alt and under the cut)

image description: the 2004 mean girls poster redrawn so that each character is a teletubby. po, the red one, is cady heron and standing in the foreground with her scooter. the plastics stand in the background in the following order: yellow laa-laa as karen holds a big orange ball, indigo tinky winky as regina george holds a red purse, and green dipsy as gretchen holds a cow-print top hat. below the plastics, pink and red block text reads "MEAN TUBBIES" in all caps. at the very top, text reads "ugh! stop trying to make fetch happen dipsy" except i somehow managed to misspell "ugh" as just u-h. end id.

[sonkitty]

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection - LINKS - Updates

I have finally gotten around to several updates on the Rainbow Connection. I had meant to focus on Part 4, but it made sense to update Parts 1-3 as well. Updating Part 4 took way more out of me than I thought it would so I didn't track my changes in the other parts well, sorry.

In Part 1, I mostly have some mild wording changes. The more I've played while working on the Crowley S2 Hair posts, the more sure I am that the Tied Hands untie and retie frequently, so I am more sure than ever that they retie during intermission with Nina.

In Part 2, I added more about the possible Black and White being used to trap the Green for later in Triple Part 2. I also added more details about how the switch from Blue to Purple does not happen in a specific cut because Crowley still needs to do more preparation for using two pockets in the Double.

In Part 3, I added some more info about the suspected Black and White trap because of a human wearing suspenders as a clue they work together to suspend something.

Okay, for Part 4, I updated A LOT. The big stuff is closer to the END.

-I added that I think Crowley's Pocket Frame for The Door Trick is Car Mirrors and that might be helping with how the mirror flips are managed.

-I added that I think the human with the skirt holding the orange bag could be the "FIsh" in Bullet Catch magic word references because the pattern on her skirt looks like scales. Other places I look, I can't find a strong enough visual clue for a fish. My instinct was to look at cars and a human on a scooter first, but the skirt still feels like the best option.

-I added info about the actual rainbow that exists and the potential over-the-rainbow touches allowing colors to switch as needed.

-I added more about the lacking Yellow on the red alert that is hopefully somehow still stalling the actual switch due to where certain colors and humans are.

-I added info about the human I most suspect is the "Gorilla" for the Bullet Catch reference and that I can't figure out if they contribute to this Rainbow Connection part. Also, I think every Bullet Catch magic word reference is supposed to be no later than the actual link from Crowley to Aziraphale with the Pocket Chain, intentionally ending at "dash of nutmeg". The other references are not in the exact order, but that one is last. With this particular update, I now have a guessed place for every magic word in "banana, fish, gorilla, shoelace with dash of nutmeg".

-I added that the tie strands are also shown to be still during The Door Trick, but each cut shows they moved a little off-camera.

-I added more details of my assessment on the Yellow when it is being connected to Aziraphale and the Metatron.

-I committed more to saying that Aziraphale and the Metatron are sharing the connection and hopefully more precise wording with things like "visually touching yellow behind them" instead of "touched by yellow".

-I added the following about reaching purple during The Door Catch:

In the previous iterations, there was a double purple in The Pocket Trick's Double and then a possible double red in The Pocket Trick's Single. Since a skip-to-purple and back already happened with The Door Trick, connected to The Door Catch, my guess then is that a double purple to start going back up is not required.

-I updated the wording in general to be less "we" and "us" in the wording though not completely. It's otherwise more third-person about the game or first-person with my own play.

-I updated more certainty about the two different Pocket Frames I believe are happening (Elevator Edges for Aziraphale and Doorknobs for the Metatron).

-I updated the wording about the window pane reflections. I state quite explicitly that I am lacking the words for what I sense to be a significant thing happening in that moment with the Metatron's reflection being caught where it is with Aziraphale by the end of the cut.

-The wording about the non-rainbow shades was actually decent enough to leave mostly as is, so then I mainly just added my far more detailed info below it.

That detailed info is significant enough that I will post it here too:

...

Well, it's been weeks and this bit is the best I've got, so here we go.

In the Heaven elevator with the Metatron, I do believe the following is supposed to apply:

Black blocks.

Brown borrows.

Gray shades.

White keeps.

I like "white keeps" in the rhythm better than "white holds," but that is the same general idea and why I've said I think Muriel's white helps hold things for assisting Crowley in other Threshold Tricks.

There are two huge problems I encounter with this idea, but I can't let it go. It still sticks with me.

The first one is that I can never, ever figure out what Black blocks outside the Heaven elevator. Inside the elevator, the Black is blocking out the elevator's Gray. I am as sure as I can be that's the intent.

The White is holding the Gold to keep it as Gold.

Together, that allows the Black and White to effectively trap the Gold, so that it cannot be switched to Yellow despite so much Gray outside the Black circle.

There actually is a little Gray in the White but it's not enough or inaccessible because the Metatron makes the mistake of using a zoomed touch and not showing either of the two types of thumb joints he has on the hand doing the touch. So, the dark Brown he wears can't use the Gray to qualify the Gold as Yellow.

However, if I go and look at The Pocket Trick for what Black might do, I can't figure out what it's blocking. In Triple Part 2, I think it's helping trap the Green for eventual use in The Door Trick. It's part of how I got the idea that Black and White together can act as a trap. What needs to be blocked to make the trap? If it's the switch to Blue until the Green is properly trapped, that's actually being accomplished by the timing and synchronization with the human puppet by making a pocket and stalling the switch with where that human's neck is. The Black is not blocking a color. It's not stalling. It's just there to trap the Green with the White through the method Crowley chooses.

Crowley and Aziraphale stall Blue switching to Purple for the Double, and the lighting is not setting Crowley's clothes to Black as obviously as it is in Triple Part 2. Maybe there is White helping that time but not Black.

The problems go on from there in similar ways. In Triple Part 3, that's where I got the idea because I was like "Okay, I guess the human wearing suspenders mean the Black and White suspend something". Well, they do in that part at least.

In The Door Trick, Crowley's illusionary touch is on a black bag between edges and it essentially acting as a cue for Aziraphale to Begin. So, then, it doesn't seem to actually block anything. There are three other words other words with "b" around though! Between. Bag. Begin.

So, the Black's meaning itself switches, depending on what one's imagination requires it to do or I'm just incapable of finding what is being blocked.

That imagination part is the second huge problem. So long as I can see pockets in the right places and a goal in mind for what Crowley might want to accomplish, it doesn't seem to really matter. I mean, it does because I'm supposed to find the logic. But in both Triple Part 1 and the Double, I can say that the color didn't switch until a given time because of how Crowley and whatever assistance he got managed the timing, framing, and pocketing. If non-rainbow shades happen to be there, that's fine. I still don't know what Black is blocking or White is holding a lot of the time, if anything. I don't really think Brown is necessary to borrow either. Is there someone on-screen using pockets while Crowley himself has something he wants from his play in the game? Then it's done!

So, this bit:

Black blocks.

Brown borrows.

Gray shades.

White keeps.

This bit is more like a default with a limited imagination or limited available pocket assistance.

It's not exactly that way though because Aziraphale gets someone with white and brown. What does that do? What does he need to borrow that needs a hold? The Green from the nearby humans in the preceding cut until the shadows on his coat can do the Trick?

I guess!

So, if my play improves, I'll update this part accordingly, but it just plain hasn't.

I do have guesses that the 1941 minisode actually gives clues on these shades as well.

For Black, the miracle blocker blocks the turnip from turning into an inkwell. Ink is black. Black blocks. In this case, black is blocked, but I still think that's the clue. There are other colors involved, including a white handkerchief, but, again, I still think that's the clue for the Black.

For Brown, the clue is gross—and I am not a fan of gross things, so you're really going to have to use your own imagination because I am not going to spell it out completely. The old man the zombies kill is singing about farting. They kill him and one of them ends up borrowing that guy's voice to sing some more. You figure it out from there. Okay, fine, I will give you one more hint: it is a crappy joke. Nonetheless, Brown borrows.

For Gray, the clue is much more pleasant and is found near the end of the minisode at a lovely candlelit table while Crowley and Aziraphale are drinking wine. The "shades of gray" are mentioned in conversation, including darker shades and lighter shades. Gray shades.

For White, Aziraphale waves a white handkerchief around with "prestidigitation" in his dialogue when offering to help Crowley to Mrs. H. before the trick is actually performed. With the miracles being blocked later in the minisode, the problem keeps happening while he uses the white handkerchief over the turnip. White keeps.

And that concludes this updated part about these shades.

...

Main link and all the part links can be found here:

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection (1, 2, 3, 4)

[fire-but-ashes-too]

SOOOOOO

i was tagged by @rickie-the-storyteller over heeeereeee and it didnt let me reblog so new post!

LAFGSLKRGHLSKGH THIS IS SO FUN HELP WHY DIDNT I KNWO THIS EXISTED-

ANYWAYSSSSS

i gto very little ships (sadly) so im gonna go with both platonic and romantic ehehehe

Annexander (is it how were calling it?? idk) (@holdmyteaplease ur the expert on this give me a feedback)

Alexander: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm? Anne: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

Alexander: *shatters a window and climbs through it* Alexander: *turns around and helps Anne through it* Breaking and entering is wrong Anne. Anne: Okay. Anne: Shut it Alexander, I only shook your hand because I had to. We will NEVER be friends. Alexander: Lets survive this together! Anne: I HOPE YOU DIE. Anne: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue? Alexander: Technically a mix of green and blue? Anne: So blurple. Alexander: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple. Anne: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE? Alexander: You were confusing before but now I'm scared Anne, holding a scooter: Alexander! Can I go outside and play with this? Alexander: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay? Anne, running outside: Thanks Alexander! Alexander, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY! Alexander: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks! Anne: Why would I do that? Alexander: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

HELP CAUSE WHY IS THIS SO THEMMMM AKFGASKJGF

Anne and Indigo (the absolute besties)

Anne: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me? Indigo: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Anne: Yes. Indigo: I'd sleep.

*Anne sends more than 5 messages in a row* Indigo: I ain’t reading all that. Indigo: I’m happy for you tho. Indigo: Or sorry that happened. Anne: I have a plan. Indigo: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it. Anne: … Indigo: … Anne: I no longer have a plan.

Anne: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”. Anne: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

ok... this is scarily accurate...

Alexis and Claire (friends to lovers complete dumbasses edition)(they have exactly 1 brain cell and they take turns being the responsible one. most times i gets forgotten at home)

Alexis: My hands are cold. Claire: Here, let me hold them. Alexis: My lips are cold too. Claire: *covers Alexis's mouth with their hand* Alexis: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me. Claire: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do. Claire: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds. Alexis: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work? Claire: NO- Alexis: What do you do for a living? Claire: I exist against my will. Alexis: Claire, I have a question. Claire: What is it, Alexis? Alexis: What color is an orange? Claire: Alexis, you bonehead! Its color is the same as its name. Just like a lemon. Alexis: I hope no one lowkey hates me. Alexis: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Alexis: Go big or go home.

THIS IS FUN. VERY FUN.

HOW TO CREATE CHARACTERS 101: NAME, BASIC VIBES AND THROW THEM AROUND IN THE INCORRECT QUOTES GENERATOR✨

tagging literally everyone i know on this one cause the world deserves to do this

@olivescales3 @albatris @bloody-neon @bassguitarinablackt-shirt @briannaswords @cabbojage @daisywords @desastreus @did-i-do-this-write @deanwax @digital-chance @enchanted-lightning-aes @ember-writer @eli-is-an-idiot @firesmokeandashes @fioreshere @guessillcallitart @gwenthekween @harleyacoincidence @holdmyteaplease @iannicellis @jaxypaxyhaxy @j3st3rfun3r4l @kooperation1101 @koala2all @lycaens @liv-is @lyonette-does-things @mayakern @nocturnalmohawk @quinnharperwrites @roisinivy @raspberrykraken @spicymochi @scifimagpie @the-mindless @unmellowyellowfellow @whynotcherries @writingmargo @writing-with-sophia @writeblr-of-my-own @wrenofthewords @yeahthatswhatimtolkienabout @yesireadbooks @your-absent-father @zihus @zillanovikov sorry if i tagged any

[idsb]

everything always falls together just in time for it to fall apart.

I couldn't wait to leave for 6 weeks. and, as John green once tackily said, 'falling in love is like falling asleep. slowly, and then all at once'. it all clicked into place. and the reasons why I have to leave, too, have all clicked into place: I hate my job. Now I've quit my job. Taylor concert in Melbourne, need to be in Melbourne. boyfriend flying into Sydney, need to pick him up in Sydney on the way down. 2 favorite Aussie bands at a music festival hours and hours' drive into the middle of nowhere; need my car to get there. Got to drive from QLD to Sydney to Melb. Housemate is leaving to go to England next week anyway, a lot of what I like about it here will be gone. Well, now I've found more things to like. Well, now the landlord is selling the house. Well, housemates are getting a new place together but I've still got all the other things that render me staying impossible. Well, now there's a cyclone headed straight for this region that I've got to outrun. Now there's a girl I know who wants a ride south who will help me with gas when I'm financially stressed. Time to go. Now.

There is no other answer but to leave. One of my housemates is a big believer in the power of the universe and when it wants you to do things. And yet, I wish I could stand here and brace myself against the gale force winds of the cyclone, feet cemented to the earth, and stay. I keep thinking, "if it wasn't for this I would stay", "if it wasn't for this I would stay" and before I've known it, "this" is literally every single factor that could possibly be worth considering except for where my heart is. I think it through and I know it's true: I came to Australia to see Taylor and I'd die without doing so. My boyfriend is flying in and I need to see him, and the impending cyclone would keep us apart his entire trip here if I don't leave to meet him; he couldn't fly up and I couldn't drive down any later than tomorrow. He wants to see the Great Ocean Road, I need my car in Victoria for the music festival. 2/3 of the people I love here are leaving and if I stay it won't be the same anyway; it won't be worth missing everything else for.

But my heart is tethered to the one street in town and the 2 palm trees on the beach that are beautiful to sit under on a sunny day, and to the girl at the boba tea spot who always looks so happy to see me and the sweet woman who owns the coffee shop I frequent, and the grass on the great lawn overlooking the turquoise sea and the memories of the books I've read in the marina, and the breakfasts I've eaten and taken for granted on the deck in the morning light filtered through the bamboo and birds of paradise plants. All the things that were, for the most fleeting moment, simple things about my home. My day to day life. Only about 2 weeks ago did I realize how extraordinary these things were compared to what my life in New York looked like. The novelty of the turquoise water and staring out at the sun glistening off the ships and the beach a 2 minute drive away and the most loving, maybe closest friends I've ever had living in my home; waiting for me to cook dinner and debrief the day over wine every single day. Taking an electric scooter around when I can't drive. the orange flowers that hang over the driveway. For these two weeks I have looked at everything with the sense of nostalgia and wonderment I will one day look back on it with, so as to not look back and think about how I didn't appreciate it.

I still don't think I appreciated it. How could someone ever live in an affordable and wonderfully furnished house 2 minutes from the beach and want to leave? With good coffee and colorful flowers and an ocean the temperature of a heated pool. I know there are reasons why I did, but now that the "nostalgia" I feel will become the present and not the future in just 24 hours, I feel sick to my stomach. Katie asked me if I'd packed yet and the thought of leaving this room empty never to see it again left me sick to my stomach. Another chapter of my life coming to an abrupt halt. This one, like the sun breaking through in the middle of an endless rainstorm. And just as you're reveling in the glory of the daylight, the clouds roll back in. They go on as far as the eye can see.

I don't know if I will ever find anything like this again in the whole time I am alive. Struggle has presided over my entire time in Australia thus far, and struggle is all I see on the horizon as I am unsure where I will go next in this country, how I will earn money, or where I will live. I am dreading seeing my boyfriend and cannot even place excitement for it in my brain, because it means I will be gone from here and back into the storm of uncertainty and all the bad things this country has brought me. The past few weeks in this place were the rainbow filled eye of a terrible cyclone, one far bigger than the one that is currently stampeding towards this place.

I do not want to go back to the rain.

[artificialkids-2k23-official]

Scootaloo for Most Orangest

Hello, I am Roman Artificialkidspoll and today I'm going to tell YOU why you should be voting for Scootaloo for most orangest in the @orangecharactersmackdown.

First of all, look at her:

Look how orange she is! And it's such a nice shade of orange too! Like obviously you can't go wrong with any shade of orange but I'm very partial to that particular range of oranges, the ones that are REALLY orange, like this is a PURE shade of orange.

But on top of that, she also has purple mane and tail. Purple and orange go SO well together, like Loxley and Bagel. You can't miss!

Another reason you should vote for her is because she has a cool scooter that she uses to do sick tricks and stunts.

Like so!

Continued under the cut cause this got uh. Long.

In fact, someone was kind enough to make a whole compilation!

Also, she likes Rainbow Dash SO much, and Rainbow Dash likes her too! From her introduction onward she was always Rainbow Dash's biggest fan, but over the course of the series Rainbow Dash came to really like her SO much in return, even going so far as to become SCOOTALOO'S biggest fan (apart from me, of course). She even agreed to take Scoot under her wing and be her big sister figure, because she thinks Scootaloo is neat! (See below)

And she takes her role SERIOUSLY because she loves Scootaloo and wants her to be happy and awesome (you should want this too, and express it by voting for her)

Here are some other facts about Scootaloo:

She lives in Ponyville with her lesbian aunts because her parents are adventurers and always off on adventures. At one point she gets the chance to go back to living in Cloud City with them but decides to stay in Ponyville because that's where her loved ones all are!

She's disabled (see above video). This was actually pretty clear from early on but they actually CANONIZED it in a later season, at which point I promptly lost my mind because I didn't think they'd ever say it out loud. Her wings are too small to support her in flight, but she's able to adapt to it with the support of her friends and family, because she's AWESOME. See: sick tricks and stunts.

She and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders got their cutie marks in season five, and not only did their cutie marks mark out their special talents and purpose, they also marked them as BEST FRIENDS. Imagine best friending so hard that your MARK OF DESTINY decides that being best friends is your destiny.

Oh look here's her cutie mark

She has her, Sweetie Belle's, and Apple Bloom's mane and tail colors as the stripes. You WISH you were as cool and bound with your friends as she is.

Here she is as flower girl in the royal wedding. Ignore how grumpy the bride looks, she's actually an evil changeling queen disguised as Princess Cadance. The real Cadance is much nicer.

Here's another one where she's wearing a pretty dress. Note that she is once again complementing her lovely orange with purple!

Here she is as a Merpony!

Oh my god she's so cute I'm going to die

Here's her experiencing magically induced teenagerhood (and also having an even cooler mane style)

Here she is all grown up teaching school!

Even as a grown up she's superbly orange uwu

Here's her aunts. See how much they love her? ;A;

And her parents~! Wait, who did she get that lovely orange coat from? 🤔

Here's a sad Scootaloo. She's sad because she has to leave Ponyville, but this is also how she'll look if she doesn't win most orangest.

Don't do that to her, what's wrong with you?

WAIT OH MY GOD SHE GETS TO BE A SUPERHERO IN ONE OF THE COMICS OH MY GOD

LOOK AT MY BABY SHE'S DOING SO WELL

Anyway in conclusion you should vote for Scootaloo for most orangest because she is CLEARLY the best and cutest and most orangest candidate.

I'll close this out with a MLP fansong about Scootaloo

VOTE FOR SCOOTALOO

[mispatchedgreens]

WIP Wednesday time!

praying for my fast wheels

Aaaa gosh golly, okay. Okay. Among all the things I've written, this is the one that makes me go 'is this for anyone' the most. The concept is. Souped up scooter bikes, greek summer, chav gold chains.

Billy barks out a singular 'ha!', almost laughter and flicks away the still lit butt. They watch the orange cherry of it soar across the way and land right in the puddle formed by the leaking sprinklers. When it instantly loses its light, Billy settles back down, crowing softly in satisfaction, like he nailed a three pointer.  "Tsk. Wasn't that impressive," Eddie informs him, unable to shut down any conversation. This always happens. Eddie will think, that's it, no more talking to Billy. Because frankly, Eddie doesn't wanna get his ass beat. But he slips, he folds like a cheap beach chair and here he is again, covertly and badly and half-assedly flirting with him. "Like you could do better." Billy sounds as lazy as the temperature requires, a big cat lounging on sun-hot marble steps.  And like a cicada, dazed from the heat and the horniness, Eddie drops right into his lazy paw, to get chewed up. He draws smoke into his mouth, hot and bitter, and tilts his head back. The smoke rings are perfect circles, floating one after the other, growing bigger and bigger and then disintegrating. Billy laughs softly and it's impossible not to turn to look at him then. He's got his hair up, shaved sides prickly, golden hoop in his ear catching all that it can from the streetlight. His grin is bright in the darkness, perfect white teeth. "Not bad," he allows, raspy, gracious about it, loose. 

[laalaaisqueen]

Name: Po (Johnson)

Age: 13

BIO

Birthday: May 29

Species: Widow Teletubby

Gender: Non-binary

Family: Naa-Naa is her creator, Ru-Ru her older brother, and Mi-Mi her younger sister.

Physical Description: Red fur and hair with orange markings, purple eyes, purple heart pattern on her chest, long tail, circle antenna. Usually has her hair in braids.

Personality: She is a clever Tele but she is also egotistical and bratty. A tomboy but she also likes cutesy things and flowers.

Fandom: Slendytubbies/Teletubbies

Sexuality: Asexual and aromantic.

Voice: High pitched.

Back Story: Po’s young age is a result of Naa-Naa struggling to keep Po’s DNA stable. They had to ask Noo-Noo for help. (Naa-Naa hates interacting with Noo-Noo) His help came in the form of a pinch of his creations DNA, which ended up in Po and Tinky Winky being soul connected. She vaguely was aware of the soul connection, Po simply didn’t know who it was or where they are. By the time she was brought to the dome, which was early because Po was developing faster than the other test subjects, she was so obsessed that she wouldn’t even care if the person was mean.

Luckily it was good boy Tinky. Po despised being separated from Tinky for too long, she would scream and cry if she decided ten seconds was too long. She wanted to copy everything Tinky did, not understanding that a 3 year old couldn’t do everything a 10 year old could.

A few years later, Po could handle a few hours separation.

Ongoing Story: I’m afraid I’ll spoil the Cure AU if I say anything

Likes/Dislikes: Likes: Tinky Winky, her scooter, flowers, rolling in mud and dirt, eating bugs, swinging or climbing trees with ropes.

Dislikes: Dresses, being bathed.

Extra: Po was born biologically male and was purposely created without the fear gene so she literally can’t feel fear. She uses she/her pronouns but doesn’t want to be called a girl. Po’s ego issues are due to Tinky holding up this child like ‘Look how smart and cute she is’.

QUESTIONS

Favourite colour? Blue.

What element would they be? ..Fire.

Alignment? I feel like she’s chaotic evil.

Deadly sin that best represents them? Envy.

Blood type? O.

Hobbies? Riding her scooter, tending to flowers.

Special skills/talents? Well she’s very clever and knows how to fix machines. And good at physics.

Patience level? Depends.

Role model? wildly gesturing to Tinky

Mode of transportation? Scooter.

Weapon? Scythes.

Most appropriate TV trope(s)? (I’ll update this at a future date. Someday)

Race, ethnicity and nationality? Widow, they have fangs and their fur is silky smooth.

Random fact! Dear Ao3 guest that tried fighting against my Guardian rant with pointing out Po can be mean to Laa-Laa too. Counterpoint, that rant wasn’t about Po, go make your own rant about Po. Counterpoint two, Po isn’t a good friend to Laa-Laa. If Tinky didn’t ask her to speak to Laa-Laa, Po would have just ignored her-

Most important person in their life. You know the answer.

Favourite object? Her scooter.

Addictions? You could call her obsession with Tinky as an addiction

Languages spoken. Cantonese

Cat or dog person? Dog person.

Anyone they really hate? She hates anyone that mistreats or hates Tinky. Her obsession is this big. So big I don’t know if doctors can cure it.

How has their look/design changed over time? She used to be just red, I wanted the colors to contrast Arrow’s.

Are they ticklish? No.

Do they play any instruments? Piano.

Would they dare kill someone? Yes. With no hesitation.

[ayliamc]

Italia

Day 2 - Lemon Frenzy 🍋

Steps walked: 23,862

Flights climbed: 7

Vehicles ridden: 1

Points of interest visited: 1

Lemons spotted: all of them.

Drugs are great. We took some to sleep and it enabled us to get thru the night and wake up comfortable in the morning, ready to face the day.

Our B&B host, Dino, chided us for not telling him ahead of time that we are both vegano, that he could have plant milks for us, and that his wife is vegan. (Of course not as strict now they have a kid because kids make everything harder, he says. “Wait til you have kids,” to which I got to reply with delight “Oh no I’m sterile.”) He was hilariously Italian as he went on and on about mozzarella, erculano, and how we’re going too fast and we go to bed too early.

We escaped long enough to trek thru Pompei to get to a cafe that allegedly had vegan-as-is croissants (unlabeled). If you know anything about me, you know I can’t resist a vegan croissant. We booked it thru town with a minor detour due to some big church thing for Madonna (I can’t believe she tours in Pompei!) to get our croissants where Google translate helped mediate the exchange. We got two citrus croissants that were not labeled anywhere as vegan but the guy didn’t correct us when we asked “vegano?” three or four times.

We checked out and leisurely made our way to the train station - another long walk - only to arrive at the platform at the same time as the train to Sorrento. How perfect! Except we don’t have tickets yet… so we buy our tickets, the train leaves, and we’re forced to wait forty minutes for the next train, only to discover no one ever asked for our tickets and no entry required them. We could have totally gotten on the first train without paying and we wouldn’t have had to wait. Crime does pay, as it turns out.

‘Twas a crowded train ride to the end of the line, where we then had to trudge for nearly half an hour with our bags on cobbled streets and unreliable sidewalks to get to our hotel. (Side note: i wonder why no one ever talks about all the vespas and scooters in Italy. There are so many! I just figured I would have heard about it before this.*)

We checked in to our hotel around lunchtime, ate our croissants illicitly on the balcony (no food allowed in our hotel room), and headed back out. Naturally, all the stuff we wanted to visit was back in the direction of the train station, but a 25 minute walk goes much easier without two backpacks and a roll-y bag with dysfunctional wheels.

To paint the scene, all these walks are lined with more citrus trees than you’ve ever seen in your life and drivers who might not actually run you down but you probably shouldn’t test that theory.

We grabbed a quick lunch at a family owned Italian restaurant and had some tasty food including “the best tomato pie [Dan has] ever had” then continued on my lemon quest.

Walking on our way to a limoncello Lemon grove we passed another one that we were able to walk around in. It was so pretty. A lovely garden with lemon trees, orange trees, olive trees, squash plants, tomato plants, and peppers. They also had a restaurant but we were so full we decided we’d come back for dinner.

On to I Giardini di Cataldo where we had hoped to have a tour and a limoncello workshop but they didn’t have any available for the day. Womp womp. We tasted some limoncello and got lemon sorbet and ate it in their lemon garden before continuing to meander in the direction of shops.

Fortunately I had set a limit as to how many Lemon things I could get for myself and I immediately met that limit so I guess I’m done shopping for the… trip. Except I still need a Leonardo souvenir, I mean let’s not get crazy.

Here I am casually showing off all my lemons.

Another 25 minute walk to the hotel to drop off our stuff. By this point, I can confirm we had already exceeded yesterdays step count.

Just before sunset we walked to a dock overlooking the coast and watched the last rays of orange sunlight disappear behind the horizon. The coast is a steep cliff face that drops off into the ocean, but in the distance you can actually see Napoli looking like an island, in reality just more of the Italian coast. Then Dan’s eagle eyes spotted a bat. Then another. And sure enough within a nook of the cliff, at least half a dozen bats had roused and were feasting. It was awesome. We watched them for a little bit. I think a few more even joined them as we watched. It certainly felt like there were more bats there when we left.

And the days recurring themes of walking and lemons continued as we headed back to La Limonaia, the lovely lemon grove where we had decided to dine. Our wonderful server was very confident about our “vegano” requests and he had the chef prepare dishes for us. For Dan, a lemon vegan cream sauce on linguini and for me, a salad made with fresh veggies from their garden. Those same veggies we had seen in the afternoon as we wandered around the grove. So fresh! And I could totally tell. I slathered my tomatoes in balsamic glaze and enjoyed some of the best tomatoes I’ve ever had. (Also a hilarious thing we’ve noticed here is when they bring you bread it comes in a little paper bag as opposed to a bowl or a plate. It’s so funny.) We drank, we ate, we were merry, all under the lemon trees. ‘Twas in general a near perfect dinner experience and we happened upon it by happenstance. Not only a great way to celebrate Jimmy Carter’s birthday but our 12 year anniversary. Six years of marriage. I can’t believe I’m old enough for that but there it is.

After dinner we met Carol at her hotel which was thankfully in the same direction as our hotel so we wouldn’t have to backtrack anymore. She got us drinks, gave us a lemon souvenir she’d gotten in Capri that day, and she and her group regaled us with stories from their trip. As ours is still near the beginning, theirs is coming to an end. We chatted until we noticed the bartender was waiting for us to be done to leave so we wrapped it up and Dan and I walked back to our hotel to gratefully rest.

*Sarcasm

[andrusi]

rating lego space shuttles: eighties/nineties

this was fun with the ambulances so I’m going again

fun fact: because of the way linear time works, there are no pre-minifig lego space shuttles.

#442 Space Shuttle/#891 Two Seat Space Scooter (1979)

we’re starting off... weird. it’s got the swept back wings but other than that there was clearly no effort whatsoever to make this set called “space shuttle” look like an actual space shuttle orbiter (which did exist and was publicly known in 1979 even though it hadn’t been launched yet). given that the EU version makes no such connection I’m assuming this was just given the name for the us market to capitalize on space shuttle excitement. it’s a nice little spaceship but I’m not happy with the dishonesty. 🚀

there are a couple of other early space sets with “shuttle” in their names but the intent with them seems to be more like the shuttles in star trek and star wars rather than referring to the real life vehicle so I’m not going to drag them through the mud here.

#8855 Prop Plane (1988)

the second lego space shuttle is one of several we’ll be seeing where the shuttle is actually a secondary build for an airplane set. an attempt is being made here, and you can kind of see what they’re going for, but it just doesn’t work for me. the lack of any attempt at, you know, engines is particularly shameful. that said, while I haven’t handled this build myself, it appears that the cargo bay opens up (albeit in entirely the wrong way) and there’s even a manipulator arm inside. overall: good try. 🚀🚀

#1682 Space Shuttle Launch (1990)

much better. building techniques will vary, attempts at scale will improve and regress, specialized parts of varying quality and niceness will be produced, but this here is basically establishing the precedent for what a typical lego space shuttle set is like. you’ve got a launch pad, a support structure with an elevator (sadly immobile in this case), a little vehicle to transport the crew to the pad, an astronaut and some ground crew, and of course the shuttle orbiter with a little canadarm and a satellite inside, with two solid rocket boosters and a fuel tank attached. unusually, the astronaut has a sticker on his torso, with an american flag and a nasa logo. similar stickers are all over the shuttle and even the car-thing. this kind of specific tie to the real space shuttle won’t return in minifig-scale sets for a long time. now there are some noticeable big avoidable inaccuracies, most notably that the fuel tank needs to be longer and not gray (orange lego wasn’t really a thing at the time but I feel like red or yellow would have been a reasonable substitute) and the fact that the shuttle has an opening trunk for some reason???, and also there are some awkward bits to the design, most memorably the cargo doors that fold out in three segments each. still, very good. 🚀🚀🚀🚀

6346 Shuttle Launching Crew (1992)

aaaaaaand we’ve regressed. the shuttle is shorter now, one of the main engines is missing, the wings are generic triangles, and you can’t see it here but the surprisingly realistic representation of the canadarm from #1682 has been replaced by a generic robot claw arm from the space theme (at least the origin is appropriate). the astronaut has regressed, too, now wearing the exact same generic flight suit as the ambulance driver from #1896 (which is also suspiciously similar to the motorcycle drivers here) which made that set hilarious but this one boring. there are a couple of small improvements though: the shuttle has landing gear now, and there are a couple of tiles on top of the cargo bay doors so they open as a single unit.  also, remember that red and blue striping with the =v= design, it’s a surprise tool to help us later. 🚀🚀🚀 incidentally, space shuttles have been transported by truck on occasion, and because of how big they are you really would want all these escort vehicles.

#6339 Shuttle Launch Pad/#6544 Shuttle Transcon 2 (1995)

welcome to LAUNCH COMMAND, the first dedicated town/city space exploration subtheme! the stripey =v= design returns, now accompanied by a neat little space shuttle logo. the new orbiter (identical between the two sets except for slightly different stickers) keeps the improvements from #6346, regains its third engine, and gets a new canadarm design that splits the difference between playability and looking right, plus new pieces designed specifically to accurately represent the wings and tail. unfortunately, these improvements come at the price of the oms pods, which are now just half-cylinders with no engines in evidence. the astronauts have a cool new visor piece that’s reflective gold and a specially printed torso, the ground crew similarly have special launch command uniforms, and all of them wear headsets. two near-identical versions of this shuttle (one numbered 2 and the other 3, #6346 presumably being 1) were available, one with this shiny new launch pad and redesigned fuel tank (still gray and too small) and boosters, and the other with a jet that doesn’t really look like the shuttle carrier aircraft but eh, it works. 🚀🚀🚀🚀

#8480 Space Shuttle (1996)

technic’s second attempt at a space shuttle is a dedicated set and consequently fares way better. it’s big, it’s properly colored, it’s got lots of details, and on top of that it’s full of fancy electronics. it lights up! it’s motorized! it also kind of looks like a skeleton, but that’s what you expect from a technic set from the mid-nineties. 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀

#3067 Test Shuttle X (1999)

what the hell is this, space port? why is the tail fin a flat panel facing the direction of travel? 0 spaceships. listen, this is a tiny little shuttle and I know it seems unfair of me to rag on it, but space port deserves everything I can throw at it. it’s just not good.

#6456 Mission Control (1999)

you see? look at this shit. look at the crap lego handed us and called a space shuttle. why does it separate? this isn’t blacktron! why are the wings so proportionally small? why does the cargo bay open in three directions? why does it just launch directly from the crawler? why is the satellite just a logo with solar panels? I’ll tell you why. it’s because the only thing lego was thinking about was how much kids were gonna love the giant oversized electronics chunk. if you were a kid who tried to build around the giant oversized electronics chunk, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

the female astronaut and the new helmet/backpack earn it a pity spaceship though. 🚀