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#Boy is putting me through the god damn ringer
hulloitsdani · 11 months
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Fuck me, fuck feh’s armor designs, and fuck me for drawing feh’s armor designs
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tgcg · 7 months
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part 1 of something specific
TG: oh my god you get it
CG: OF COURSE I FUCKING DO, DAVE. I’LL ALLOW MYSELF CREDIT FOR ONE GOOD THING, AND THAT’S THE FACT THAT I KNOW HOW TO CONSUME MEDIA CORRECTLY.
TG: you understand me
TG: so many damn times ive tried to turn john over on this business and he doesnt listen
TG: like you dont need to be gay to see how naruto and sasuke are the romance of the fuckin century man its not rocket science dare i say it is elementary level 
CG: IT’S BASIC READING COMPREHENSION, I AGREE.
CG: I’M NOT ABOUT TO EVEN *TRY* TO UNDERSTAND EARTH’S BIASES TO CERTAIN FORMS OF ROMANCE, BUT IS IT LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH GUYS?
TG: i dunno i dont think hes like
TG: homophobic or something
TG: i think if anyone is the number one ally to anything its probably john yknow hed have your back bro if you were all up and being bisexual on earth and people werent scrambling hand over foot away from you because youre an alien 
TG: but just because you were that 
TG: thing
TG: bisexual
CG: YEAH, THAT THING.
TG: he wouldnt care man
TG: he wouldnt give a shit or fuck about it probably
CG: SPEAKING OF LABELS THOUGH!
TG: aw man are you about to pull out the quadrant shiz on my boys
TG: are you gonna tell me naruto and sasuke got a hate on for each other or something cus thats 
CG: OH JEGUS NO, DAVE. THAT WOULD BE COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP’S GROWTH AND THEIR ENTIRE DYNAMIC, NEVERMIND THE PURPOSE OF THE STORY ITSELF.
TG: alright lay it on me shercock homos ill be your watson watching you with the big twinkling eyes of a newborn fawn
TG: sleuth this shit like you were there when kishimoto invented it
TG: his alien understudy rises from the caverns of anime hell clutching the scroll of one universally understood truth and with his otaku disciples there to listen he takes a deep breath and delivers his groundquaking sermon to the masses
TG: jesus take the mic
CG: I’M CLUTCHING THE MICROPHONE IN MY CALLOUSED AND BONE-DRY TOUCHSTUMPS, BODY WEARY AND ON THE BRINK OF CAVING IN ON ITSELF, BUT I SPEAK WITH A STALWART DETERMINATION THAT WILL RING TRUE THROUGHOUT THE COSMOS FOR SWEEPS TO COME. THEY WILL WRITE MY FUCKING WORDS IN THE STARS, DAVE. IT’LL BE ALL THEY HAVE LEFT OF ME EVENTUALLY, BECAUSE I’LL PREACH IT HARD AND FEVERISH UNTIL THIS MORTAL COIL DECIDES IT’S FINALLY HAD ENOUGH OF PUTTING MY PATHETIC HALF-CORPSE THROUGH THE RINGER BY MAKING ME GET UP EVERY MORNING LIKE IT’S SOME KIND OF JOKE, AND FINALLY LETS ME KEEL OVER. THAT, DAVE, IS MY CRUCIFIXION. IT REPEATS ITSELF, OUROBOROS-LIKE, EVERY CYCLE, AND MAY WELL LAST UNTIL THE COLLAPSE OF PARADOX SPACE ITSELF SINCE THEY APPARENTLY FIND IT SO INCREDIBLY HILARIOUS. THEY BETTER MARTYR THE FUCK OUT OF ME. YOU BETTER PERSONALLY SEE TO IT THAT I AM MARTYRED TO *SHIT*.
TG: done and done
CG: THANK YOU. WHERE WAS I? OH RIGHT. NARUTO SHIP ANALYSIS.
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tangosenpai · 11 months
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Tooru Oikawa
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Stressed out~04
Contains: light bdsm, friends w/ benefits, stress relief, hand cuff, light consensual non consensual (there is a safe word), praising, denial, over stimulation, top Oikawa, slight angst, fuck boy trope
kageyama is your brother(adopted or half)
(y/n)'s p.o.v
My legs squeezed together as Karusno was on their last set against Aoba Joshai. They were in the lead, thankfully. My hands clutch around the metal bar. Part of me wanted Aoba Johsai to win but I know that I should want Karusno to win. Since, ya know, my brother is Kageyama.
But I couldn't help it. Oikawa was sexy as hell, jumping up in the air. His brown hair flowing around his face as sweat dripped down the side of his forehead.
"YEAH EAT THAT, THAT MEAT BALL IS MY BROTHER!" Tanaka's sister screamed. I smile at her supportiveness.
"GO KAGEYAMA!" I shout, waving my arms up and down, my feet lifting up from the ground just a little. Kageyama looks up and a small smile spreads from his face.
Turning my eyes back onto Oikawa, I frown. His face frowns more, slightly holding an angrier expression. His deep brown eyes meet mine, making me tilt my head in confusion as hate swirls in them. His lips mouth words that I can barely make out from the distance I stand, but somehow I manage to do so.
'Punishment.'
My face flushes, turning my attention back to Kageyama. I'm in deep shit.
————
I wrap my arms around my brothers neck, pulling him closer to me.
"You did so great, Tobio!" I cooed, roughing his black hair.
"Hmph, (y/n)!" He groaned as I buried my face into his neck.
"What?! Baby brother!"
"You're only a year older than me!" His arms squeeze me closer. He was happy. I could tell. Kageyama wasn't someone who easily showed his emotions or affection. So getting a hug back made me even happier.
We break apart and Kageyama's team surrounds us.
'I threw a wish in the well
Don't ask me I'll never tell
I looked at you as I fell
And now you're in my way
Your stare was ho-'
My phone rang making a blush spread across my face. I look at the caller ID and mentally cursed. God damn it Oikawa, why'd you set the ringer to that?!
"I'll be right back." I told my brother landing a hand on his shoulder, removing myself from the group.
"Hello." I spoke through after pressing the green button.
"Hello, little cutie~" Oikawa's voice slithered into my ear. I shivered and groaned.
"What do you want?" I said, already tired of his bullshit.
"Wellllll........ Ya see, I lost and since I lost. You're mine for the night, understand?" Within five seconds Oikawa's voice went from his normal playful tone to a serious dominant one, making my legs squeeze together to get some friction. Damn, his dominance is hot.
"But they're cele-"
"You're going to come home with me tonight, understand? I'm waiting outside."
"Fine."
I hung up on him, shoving my phone into my jean pocket. I rolled my (e/c) eyes, walking over to the boys.
"Hey munchkin, I gotta go. I love you~" I ruffled his hair like I normally do, he turns to me frowning.
"Stop calling me that!" He groans, pouting his lips. "Besides why are you leaving? I wanted you to come celebrate with me.."
I frown. I did too. You know what? Fuck, Oikawa. I will go celebrate. I take my phone from my pocket, turning it completely off.
"Okay. I will." I looked at Kageyama, smiling at him.
///
I snuck under Sugawara's arm, throwing my hood up over my head, so I could sneak out unoticed. Suga sent me a look before pulling me closer.
"What is this about?" He whispered. I put my index finger to my lips, motioning to a 'shh'. He nods his head slowly.
As we come to the doors, I shove myself closer to him when Oikawa came into view. Oikawa's eyebrows furrowed in confusion when his eyes didn't see me. Thank goodness.
/:/
I shove the French fries in my mouth, humming in satisfaction.
"You're so weird, (y/n)." Tanaka remarks. I stuck my tongue out at him then countinue to shove fries down my throat. The salty taste dancing along the walls of my mouth. I hum in delight.
"Hey sis, us boys umm, well we want to go do our boy thing.. so...do you think you could see yourself home?" Kageyama asks turning to face me. I stop in my place, shooting him a smile, french fries sticking out of my mouth.
"Is oqa, ivm trider veanyway." I said still stuffing fries in my mouth. Sugawara takes out his phone, snapping a picture of me. I pout as laughs erupt from him. (its okay, I'm tired anyway)
"You have to send that to me!" Kageyama laughs making me pout even more.
"Fuga-seinfai, fhapt nop fair!" (Suga-Senpai, that's not fair!)
"You're so cute, (y/n)-chan!" Sugawara pokes my nose. I blush madly, gulping the last of my fries down, and smiling widely at him.
"Venture home safely... are you sure you're okay to walk yourself home, Kageyama-san?" Daichi asks, looking at me. I nod my head slightly, giving him a thumbs up.
"I'm good, I can call my friend to come get me."
"By friend... please don't tell me you mean Oikawa?" Kageyama asks. Sugawara frowns at the sound of that and looks at me with a sad look.
"I can walk you home, (y/n)-chan." Suga says, giving me a soft smile. I smile back and shake my head.
"No, no Sugawara-senpai. It's fine!"
"If you insist. Text me when you get home then, okay?" Sugawara says, patting me on the head. Daichi, Kageyama, and Sugawara turn around to catch up with the others.
"Be safe, Kageyama-san!"
"See you at home, (y/n)!"
"Text me when you get home, (y/n)-chan!"
////
I've been walking for what seems like hours. How long am I away from my house? I pull out my phone, turning it back on. My fingers slide against the cool screen as I type in a number.
"Look who finally called back."
"Sorry, Tooru-Senpai. I was celebrating with my brother. It was very important to him. I'm free now..."
"Hmm.... where are you? I'll come pick you up."
"I'm at that small restraunt, Rino's Joint...."
"Why are you that far away. You're about an hour away from your home. That's a three hour walk, (y/n)..... are you insane to be walking that late at night?"
"I was going to take a bus."
"I don't care. Either way it's dangerous... I'll be there as soon as possible."
I groan as he hangs up.
A couple minutes later and three drunk guys are headed towards me. I shrink into the little corner I was in as they got closer. I pulled out my phone, clicking on the first name that came to mind.
ButterFly💕🦋
There are three drunk
dudes coming my way.🥺
Sugamama❤️
Are you okay?
Is one trying to hurt you?
As I was about to reply, one of the men starts to cat call me. I look down, my phone still clutched tightly in my (s/c) frail hands.
"Well, look what we have here. A pretty little lady..." A man with shaggy brown hair, scruffed up face, and crooked teeth comes closer to be. I shrink down more in the corner. Oikawa, where are you?
"Woah, look she's scared.... even better..."
He moves in closer with his buddies behind him. My eyes trail a black car as it pulls up, automatically knowing who it is. I knee the man in the front and duck under the other two, scurrying to the car. I frantically open the door and slam it shut, locking it as I watch the men run towards the car. Without saying a word, Oikawa drove off, the men still chasing behind.
"I didn't take you as an idiot." Oikawa said, his eyes still on the road.
"I'm fine."
"You know what, that's what you say every single time. This is the seventh time this has happened in between Sugawara and I. What if we don't end up showing up next time, (y/n)!" Oikawa cursed as his eyes kept focused onto the road.
"I said I'm fine."
"Does Sugawara know?"
"Yes.."
"Have you texted him back or did you just leave him there to worry."
"Uhh..."
"For fuck sakes."
"Tooru-Senpai, you've never been so angry before."
"You know you're supposed to be my fuck buddy... that means I don't need you to die, okay? I can't just pick a random whore off the streets. First off bdsm has to be consensual.. second off stds.."
Wow... just a fuck buddy.
I can't believe I like someone who thinks I'm just a fuck buddy...
"Tooru?"
"Hmm?"
"W-will.. we ever be more than fuck buddies?"
"What do you mean?"
Is he dumb?
"Like well. Will we ever you know, date?
Or be together. Or like cu-"
"Sorry, (y/n) I don't like you like that."
"Oh.. okay..."
////
We walk through the door of his house, I breath in the smell of cinnamon and hot chocolate.
"Tooru? Are you home?" A feminine voice calls from the kitchen, walking through the door.
"Hello, Mrs. Oikawa!" I greet, bowing my head.
"(Y/n)! Oh how I've missed you! I'm baking some cookies, do you want to help?" Oikawas mother wraps her arms around me tightly, making it almost impossible for me to hug back.
"Mom, she's here because of my needs you can have her after."
"Ew... just hurry up alright. Poor girl, Tooru. You're going to hate it when she finds a real man."
Oikawa rolls his eyes, walking up the stairs with his hand wrapped around my wrist tightly.
"You're in for a big punishment."
I was sat on his bed, fiddling with my fingers while Oikawa was in his closet.
"So I have a new toy.." Oikawa speaks, stepping out of the closet, smirking devilishly. My eyes widen at the long thick purple dildo in his hands.
"But.. I... no."
"Hmm? I think I decide that, kitten." Oikawa says patting me on the head. I tilt my head slightly, looking into his brown eyes.
"Oikawa..."
"Hmm?"
"This will be our last time." I tell him. His smirk fell.
I will pick Sugawara. He will treat me right. Oikawa just wants me for sex, I can't let my feelings grow any further.
"You're in for a very big punishment then."
In a quick flash my back hits the bed, my arms are lifted up, and placed into the pink hand cuffs that are secured around the headboard. (Grab the headboard ;) )
Oikawas knuckles graze up my shirt and on my bare stomach, his finger slightly dipping in the hole of my belly button.
"Damn, you're so sexy..."
Oikawa's lips press gently onto my lower stomach right above where my jeans are. A cool wetness presses against my skin, slowly swirling its self in a circular motion. The feeling of my clothes restricting my body builds of aggravation in the pit of my stomach, making my body wiggle.
"Hmm...? Someone's becoming impatient." Oikawa hums, his hands slightly gliding down my legs.
"Tooru... I want more."
"You always want more, hmm? Such a greedy little slut, not that I'm complaining." Oikawa states, his left hand unbuttoning my jeans. He pulls the zipper down along with my jeans.
"Why are you so damn sexy?" Oikawa praises leave little kisses above my underwear. I shiver, the tingling sensation traveling up my back. Oikawa then pulls away, leaving me confused. He slides off the bed, trudging towards the closet. I tilt my head to the side as I can faintly see Oikawa through the crack of the door.
He walks back out, a worse looking smirk on his face.
"I got this toy for you, just to have you cut our strings off like that~ Hmm if you're going to leave, you're going to leave with a bang. What do I normally say? Oh right.. if you're going to hit it, hit it til it breaks." Oikawa soothes, stalking towards me.
I notice a black cloth that was held in his hands. My eyes widened, looking at him in shock. Blind fold.
"Oikawa.." I whisper as the black cloth brushes against my eyebrows slowly tightening around my head. Damn if this isn't hot.
Anticipation fills my stomach, waiting for Oikawas movements. With five minutes nothing has changed.
A throaty gasp leaves my mouth as a large thing presses hardly into my clothed entrance. It starts to move in small circular motions, my hips buck in almost an instant.
Oh. Fricking. Damn. It.
"O-Oikawa.."
"Someone's excited."
Fingers trace down my thigh as the large item starts to grind on my sex faster. Small gasps escape from my mouth, making me bite my lip in protest.
A finger swoops under the side of my panties, pushing them to the side. The large object is placed at my entrance, the rubber being pushed down into my wet sensation.
"O-oh shit!" I groan as the dildo is pushed all the way in, leaving a cramping like feeling in my slower stomach. Jeez, it's so big.
Within seconds it's pounding into me. A wet feeling is placed onto my clit, slowly sucking on it. Oikawa's tongue swirls onto my clit while his hand pumps the dildo into me roughly.
"AHH- OIKAWA IM GOING TO-"
It stops. All of it stops.
"Tooru.. that's not fair." I whine, rubbing my legs together to try and finish myself off. A loud slap rings around the room and within seconds of the sound, a growing sting sprouts on the outer side of my thigh.
"You will not cum until I say so, is that understood, kitten?"
"Yes, Oikawa."
"Good." Oikawa replies, his hand softly rubbing over where he smacked me at. "Oh. I'm sorry about your shirt and bra."
What?
A ripping sound echos off the walls making my blinded eyes widen.  Pain shoots from my nipple as teeth circle around it, pinching my nipple tightly.
"Ngh~" A slight moan escapes my lips.
Fingers dance around my clit, dodging it directly. A flutter of annoyance and desperation starts to swirl in my stomach making me groan in relentless.
"Oikawa, please?"
"Please what?"
"Please make me cum?"
"You asked for it."
All of a sudden two fingers plunge into my entrance, and a tongue at my clit. His tongues rotates it's self in a patteren as his digits curl inside me, moving in and out aggressively. Within seconds  loud screams escape my throat and I cum all over Oikawa.
Oikawa removes his fingers only to replace it with his tongue. He enters it in my entrance, swirling it around in a circle, and slowly sucking in. My hips plunge upwards, making his hands find the sides of them and roughly push them down. He sucks it in his mouth slowly and steadily. My body still being sensitive from the last orgasam starts to riot again.
"Ngh~ oh fuck, Oikawa.. please."
His tongue moves faster, making me cum all over. He starts to lap it up once more, making me whine at the sensitive bud.
"You will cum as many times as I want you too. Don't forget that." Oikawa says making me shiver in pleasure. "But lucky for you. I need to release inside of you right now."
"Inside of me?"
"That's your punishment."
But. I'll. Get. Pre-
"I don't care if you get pregnant. You wouldn't be the first."
Hurt boils in my stomach, as an aching feeling starts to shoot down my heart.
Well damn.
A 'zzz' noise is heard, making me cock my head to the side. What the he-
My underwear are ripped off within seconds and a huge cock is slammed into me.
"Ngh~"
Bright colors and Oikawa's face comes into vision as my blind fold was ripped off.
"You're going to look at me while I fuck you."
"W-what?"
Oikawa takes my chin into his hands, making my eyes meet his.
"You will look at me while I fuck you endlessly. Do you understand?"
"Y-yes."
"Good girl."
Oikawa pulls out only to slam even rougher into me. My hole feels violated as he roughly fucks me. But I enjoy it. I keep my eyes held within his, staring into the pool of brown.
His dick runs against my walls, sliding far in. His mouth latches onto the side of my neck, making his teeth graze against the side of it.
Oikawas pace grows faster, fucking me even rougher.
"Mm, fuck Kitten you're pussy is so tight." Oikawa groans loudly.
"Mmm! Oikawa I'm going to-"
"Me too!"
Oikawas seed decorates the walls of my sex. My pants grow less and my eyes shut close.
I'm sleepy.
///////
"Suga-Senpai." I whisper looking at him.
"Yes, (y/n)?" Sugawara glances at me, taking his ice cream cone away from his mouth.
"Well, I like you. A lot. An-"
"(Y/n)!" A loud voice yells from behind me. I then around looking at Oikawa. The man I cut off three weeks ago.
"Oh. It's you."
"(Y/N)!! Don't go with him... I-I love you."
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lutawolf · 1 year
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The 8th Sense Ep 4
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Ji Hyun and Jae Won what you do to me. You have put me through the ringer and here you are, sweetly walking. Smiling like fucking dorks and while I'm so happy, I'm also petrified. Because is Jae Won strong enough to be with Ji Hyun? God, but I hope he is brave enough.
I would ignore her call too! Okay, no I wouldn't cause it's a bit rude, but I get it, boo. I do!
Oh, his drawing has a moon. Didn't he go during the day? Did he stay until he could see the moon, or has he come back many times? Ahh, he loves it here. Not because he got lost or anything, lol.
You can't learn to draw by staring at him, Boo. And no, honey, he has no clue where your mind is at. Hahaha!
Damn, but the tension! The freaking tension. You know you want to kiss the boy!
Staring at that drawing while smiling. You got it so bad, boy.
Seriously, I love the friend, but he is so typical boy. Gross and dumb, lol. He got a good heart though. He stood her up bestie! Catch up!
She's so fucking sweet! She covered for him! Omg, she's cute! She needs to get with Jae Won's bestie.
Oh no... He isn't going to be a shitty friend again, is he? Yup he is.
Aww, Mr. Sunshine to the rescue! Hahaha, okay, Mr. Smart Ass. How adorable. Look at Jae Won just up and ditching everything to go find his baby boy. How freaking cute. He got it bad. Look at Baby boy calling him out.
Look at that deep hidden conversation. "I don't remember the story much, what was the relationship." "Oh, we were dating." "Was it a long distance relationship?" "Ha, you are such an artist, it doesn't have that deep a meaning." Then proceeds to give it deep meaning. "They were just really good friends." "Ah, what a shame."
Hahah, that's right baby boy, tell him no. Meanwhile, mean girl doing her eye roll thing.
I like the therapist. Oh no, fucking mean girl. Here to do mean girl shit. Mean girl behavior, known as relational aggression, is a survival tactic for people who are insecure, immature, jealous, egotistical, and narcissistic. Fun fact, it's a learned behavior. It's a lack of adult involvement and role modeling. Girls then learn for themselves that when you create exclusion, you create inclusion. The creation of exclusion creates a reaction of them feeling special. If it's never corrected, it snowballs into what we see here.
I love the boss lady!!! Poor baby boy, though. Jae Won's love language is clearly touch. Ji Hyun is so full of honesty.
OMG, the whole holding hands is gonna kill me. So cute! I swear, Jae Won, you are giving me whiplash.
You asked a personal question, so I asked a person question. So fucking cute! So touchy.
Kid... Why you got to be a cock blocker.
Ahhh! Give me more now! 💜💜💜
Guys, you got to show me love. I know you bitches like to be silent, but it feels like I'm screaming into the void without some kind of feedback, so at least click the like button. 😘😘😘
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endofthelinegang · 2 years
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tasm! peter coming in through the window to spend the night just to cuddle and talk after 1 or both of them had a bad day, he gives 10/10 cuddles and is a total lovebug
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tasm! peter parker x fem! reader
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ uh well almost smut if not a little bit of smut i'm sorry i know that wasn't a part of the request i just got extra creative update this is smut so if you're under 18 DO NOT READ THIS I DONT WANT TO HAVE MY BLOG SHUT DOWN.
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ i feel awful for this boy at every turn bc oh my god why can none of the peter parker's catch a damn break. even the multiverse is fucking mean to them. the trauma anyways enjoy
join the gang!
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It was a particularly nice night outside, the wind was blowing creating a nice breeze that came into your room from under the window that was cracked slightly to bring some cold air inside since it was so hot inside. You sat on your bed watching tv and doodling in a notebook ringer on your phone in case Peter or someone in your house needed something knowing that no one was going to get out of bed. That’s when you heard an “ow!” come from the short balcony that came off of your room. Chuckling you put your notebook away properly placing the pencils in the cup on your nightstand. Moving the blanket off your body you put your legs off the side of your bed watching to see who could possibly be saying ow right next to your window.
“Hello Peter.” You whispered yelled as you saw a body tumble up to the window before accidentally kicking it up against the wall breaking the glass and the frame as he rolled out of the window onto the floor.
“Since when did your mom start a little window garden?” Peter took off his mask, shaking his head around running a hand through his hair trying to straighten out his appearance a little even though he was clearly exhausted.
“Oh god what did you do?” You laughed as he rolled around on the floor like a dog before getting up and shaking his foot around that had some dirt on the suit.
“I may have stepped in a pot and then another one before realizing what was sitting there, don’t worry I’ll get her some new ones.” Peter walked over and sat on the edge of the bed with you as you laughed at his little story.
“You gonna help me put in a new window too?” You pointed at the glass that was now all over the floor and the frame was bent up into the wall. Peter let out a breath hanging his head not realizing that he had done that.
“Yes, I’m sorry it’s just been a long day.” Peter threw himself onto the bed, handing you his mask, closing his eyes. You laid down next to him reaching up to your nightstand again to put the mask in your top drawer where it always was when Peter came over so that it didn’t get lost.
“Why? What’s going on?” You turned your heads towards his encouraging him to do the same by taking a hand and touching his face to gently touch his cheek.
“It just feels like everywhere I go I get beat up. I go to work and have to take pictures, usually of myself, and sometimes those aren’t even good enough. It seems like I always pick the wrong one. Or I’m late because I am trying to do Spiderman stuff and take pictures for Peter Parker stuff. Then during the Spiderman stuff I am always getting my ass handed to me before I have any if any success. Like today I sat through and had to pick pictures of myself for an article that was basically calling me a killer. Then on top of that I had to pick through other pictures to add to other articles that no one else is gonna read because I’m on the front page labeled as a possible murderer.” Peter sounded exhausted and really upset by what he had read and even if that wasn’t what he was trying to sound like his face said it all. That blank far off stare his lips folded in turning his face farther into the bed.
“But you don’t kill anyone babe, that’s just bullshit. I’m sorry it;s all taking a toll on you, I hate seeing you all stressed out just remember that you are the people's hero whether the newspaper says it or not. You are always my hero and I think it’s neat you get to take pictures of yourself even though it’s for a bullshit reason. Just remember that you get money for it and that you still get to take pictures. But remember that if you hate doing it you can always quit you’re a smart boy and you’re amazing at everything. You need to take that suit off and get in bed, you look tired.” You sat up grabbing his hand to try and pull him up with you. But he laid down like dead weight.
“Hey I thought you liked the suit?” Peter laid there propping his head up just a little cocking his head to the side.
“I think we both know I like it better off.” You scrunched up your nose smiling at him as he laughed back at you sitting up on his own holding your hand that still held his. Then to try and convince him to take it off even more you took your hands from his placing yours on his chest.
“Alright it’s it’s coming off.” Peter stood up quickly stumbling around almost tripping over objects including the bed all over the room almost throwing himself out the window again.
“Slow down Spiderman, you're gonna hurt yourself. Or you’re gonna wake someone up and have to hide in the closet or under the bed again.” You laughed at him as he hopped around the room, not being quiet in the least.
“Sorry sorry.” He stood with his suit halfway off his chest and upper body fully exposed arms now out with his palms facing you listening closer to make sure he hadn’t woken anyone up that was sleeping in your house.
Peter creeped around hopping in a quiet little circle taking off the bottom of his suit and then began to fold it in order to hide it better just in case someone were to unlock the door in the morning. You pointed to under the bed where it was supposed to go and he hurried up to shove it under the bed. The moment it was under the bed he jumped on top of you holding your waist with one hand the other was keeping himself from crushing you.
“Peter, you need to sleep.” You mumbled against his lips as he continued to kiss you and grab at your waist hand moving down to your thigh.
“Want me to stop?” Peter whispered in your ear as he continued down your neck kissing and biting from your jawline all the way down to your collarbone moving up and down over and over again in a fast pace.
“I-I want. God Parker. You are not helping me say no.” You gasped as Peter grabbed your breast and the bottom of your shirt as he pulled at it to take it off your body.
“Yknow what would make me feel better?” Peter was no longer touching you, just hovering above you looking down with a smile on his face.
“No I don’t. Enlighten me.” Your smile was wide and your tongue was in between your teeth before Peter went to speak he breathed out a lot of air into your neck once more.
His utterances aren't loud enough to be heard outside the confines of the room. You can barely hear them yourself, to be honest. Nobody is going to hear your talk because of the blowing air from the window hole in your wall and the sound coming from your wall-mounted tv. "I'll enlighten you right now. But if-if you don’t want to say no and I will stop.”
You've never had to say no to him, he's never made you feel uneasy, and he always knows what to do and when to do it. Instead, you simply nod and return your gaze to the ground. Peter continues from where he left off. He continued to move fast downward, lifting your shirt off your body, but altered positions so that both of you were totally on the bed. His lips have just barely touched the center of your stomach, and he isn't going to stop until you tell him to. His hands are now at your sides, applying pressure onto your hips on the bed. When Peter slips your panties to the side and his mouth from your stomach to your clit in one motion, it catches you off guard. You take a deep breath and cover your mouth with your hands. He licks a stripe up your pussy again, murmuring as he does so, pausing to delicately tickle your clit with his teeth this time. With his tongue, he soothes over the playful bite, making you squirm. Peter effortlessly hooks both of your legs over his shoulders, his face pushed into your center. He licks every inch of your skin with his tongue. He encircles your clit with his tongue, sucking at the sensitive nub. You have enough confidence in yourself to take one hand away from your mouth and grasp his dark hair, tugging it passionately. You work hard to be quiet, even if all you want to do is call him by his name and tell him how wonderful everything is. When someone knocks on your door, you're so close to letting out a gentle whimper; it's just at the back of your throat, ready to run over your lips and thank Peter.
“Hey, are you okay? You didn’t answer your phone, we heard glass break and texted you but you didn’t respond.” Peter halted at the sound of your fathers voice looking up at you with huge eyes.
“Uhm, yeah no I’m good it was my fault I accidentally knocked my window with my uh phone actually, I went to throw my phone on my bed and over shot.” You took a deep breath in before speaking, your words coming out loudly as you cleared your throat a bit.
“Oh my god do you need help cleaning up the glass?” You could hear your dad leaning on the door as his voice grew.
“N-no I got it all and I just I just,” Peter was motioning toward the bathroom in your room trying to help you find the excuse you were looking for.
“Brushed my teeth?” Even you sounded confused as to why he was pointing towards the bathroom. Peter rolled his eyes, shaking his head violently.
“What?” Your dad whisper yelled outside the door just as confused as you did.
“Shower! I just got out of the shower.” Peter made a motion to say “glad you figured that out”, you smacked your knee against his head.
“Oh okay well tomorrow after I get home from work I’ll go in and make sure it’s all cleaned up. Hey, I meant to talk to you about this earlier but have you read the Daily Bugle today?” Your dad wasn’t about to come in the room after hearing you had been in the shower but he clearly wasn’t done talking. But Peter wasn’t about to make you hear all about that again. Instead Peter's tongue lunges out again, licking at you. Your hold on returns to his hair head thrown back on the bed again.
You take a deep breath, but it's wobbly. You must remind yourself to relax and breathe. With Peter and his amazing tongue between your thighs, both of those things are difficult. "No I haven’t, why?”
Peter's lips encircle your clit , and then one of his hands departs from your hips to join his mouth in between your legs. When your hips buck up off the bed and you squirm, he shoves two fingers into you, chuckling quietly as your father continued to pester you,
“Spiderman killed someone, can you believe that? He might be catching criminals but he is damn close to becoming one. You ever see him around you go in the other direction.”
You have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about, in fact at that moment you had no clue who Spiderman was but you don’t question it knowing that if he was standing outside the door still talking that he found it important. “Yeah, sure I prom-” When Peter sticks his tongue into your hole, you cut yourself off. “Promise,” you finish.
“Okay good, I don’t want you caught in that dumbass kids crossfire.” He sounded serious that time but you didn’t barely hear him, you couldn’t focus on both things at once. For a brief moment, you mistook your father's departure for the end of the conversation. Until he says something such as, "Hey, are you still hanging out with that Parker kid?"
“Y-yes and we don’t hang out, he's my boyfriend has been for a really long time now.” When Peter's name is mentioned, he pauses. His two fingers are still buried deep inside you, and his lips still wrapped around your clit, but he lifts his head enough to look at you and cock an eyebrow up.
“I don’t like him, he seems shifty, kinda strange.” Your father mumbled out not sure what all to say not wanting to upset you at all.
“He’s just shy dad.” Peter chuckles at what you've said. He nibbles at your clit before sucking the sensitive bud again, his tongue flicking out every now and then to tease it. Peter's fingers begin to move again, softly thrusting in and out of you, but it's evident he hasn't fully shut out the discussion.
“Well I could tell that I just, something about him makes me feel off.” Peter sinks his teeth into your clit once more, this time with a little more force, but not enough to injure you. It was enough to make your pelvis buck up into his face. You're keeping yourself quiet by biting firmly on your bottom lip with your teeth. He presses his fingers into you, a sensitive area in your body. Peter uses his free arm to hold you on the bed as you wiggle again.
"Dad, he's a lovely guy. If you’d just talk to him every once in a while-" Peter has now added his tongue to join his two fingers, so you can't continue your sentence.
“All I’m happy about is that he’s a nerdy little bastard so I don’t have to worry about him getting in your pants.” Peter pulls his fingers out of your body until only the tips are visible. Without warning, he rams them back in, his tongue diving into you as well.
You can't stop the moan from coming out. It's quiet, ideally quiet enough to keep what's going on behind the closed door a secret. "Yeah, I know dad," you say, trying to pass it off as a sigh of relief.
“You sound tired, I’m gonna let you go to bed. I’ll look for extra glass in the morning, goodnight.” You could hear your dad's body coming up off the door.
Peter's brow furrows as he locks eyes with you once more. He draws his mouth away from you and licks his lips before smiling brightly, evidently humoured with what you just said. His fingers, on the other hand, are still inside you, crooking up to touch that delicious place time and over. You're on the verge of cumming. The knot in your stomach is ready to untangle. Peter's tongue flicks at your clit as his mouth wraps around it once more. You can hear footsteps outside your door, and while you still need to be quiet, you don't have to be concerned about your father being exactly outside your door. You're cumming minutes later, thanks to Peter's lips on your clit and his fingers going in and out of you. As you achieve your release, you clutch at Peter's hair, murmuring his name. Peter licks his fingers clean as he takes them out. He nods and returns his mouth to your thighs and lapping your pussy clean. He starts kissing your inner thighs once he's satisfied. He leaves a few minor blemishes, but nothing that won't fade away in a few days. He then works his way back up your abdomen, between your chest, and under your neck till he's face to face with you.
“So I’m a nerdy little bastard?” Peter laughed above you as he remembered the part of the conversation that shocked him the most.
“Shut up.” You touched his face with your hands pulling it down to kiss him hard.
“I can’t get in your pants huh?” Peter was moving his head from side to side looking you up and down, making his way forward so that you were positioned with your thighs between his eyes looking down at your naked body.
“Peter shhh cmon, you gonna let me return the favor?” You tried to drive him away from the conversation not wanting to have to go over the conversation.
“Tomorrow morning, not right now we both need sleep, you look like you’re about to pass out.” Peter winked at you before getting up and going to the dresser. “So you brushed your teeth and threw your phone at the window?”
“Okay that first one was your fault, pointing at the bathroom what does that even mean? Secondly if I didn’t say that he would have asked me why I didn’t answer my phone.” You explained to Peter curious as to what he was doing until he pulled out a shirt that was his and threw it in a ball at your direction. Then he opened another drawer.
“Everyone knows that means shower, especially right then. And alright I’ll give you that one but I have no idea as to how you’re gonna explain the pots broken with footprints up the side of the building to your mother.” Peter pulled out a fresh pair of underwear from your drawer throwing them at you as well.
“I’ll just tell her that I got bored I guess because I don’t know what else to say about that one.” You laughed putting on the clothes he had provided for you before he jumped into bed, grabbing the comforter and pulling it over himself, grabbing you and pulling you under as well.
“You’re adorable when you’re half asleep.” You yawned as Peter pulled you onto his chest to rest your head, wrapping his arms around your body.
“So are you Peter Parker, you spending the night?” You jokingly asked him as he kissed your temple.
“Yes of course I am.” Peter snuggled you closer into his body as he reached up to turn off the lamp that was blaring in the two of your eyes. He pulled the blanket even further up your body as he laid his chin on top of your head. Peter continued to kiss your forehead, running his hands up and down your arms. Your back pressed against his bare chest which was incredibly warm, his heartbeat was a pattern against your back which made you even more tired. He was holding your hands in front of your body, the two of you were as close as you could be with clothes between your bodies.
“I love you Parker.” You looked up and kissed his lips lightly.
“I love you too Y/n.” Peter scrunched up his nose and looked forward at the TV as he started to close his eyes and drift off to sleep. Happy he got to talk to you and even more happy that he got to make you happy…
510 notes · View notes
from-cj-with-love · 3 years
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Rating Dream SMP character based off of how ripped they are.
Dream - rotting in prison means no more muscles. 4/10
GeorgeNotFound - get up bitch. 0/10
Callahan - 1000/10 I will not be taking criticism
SapNap - hooo buddy. oh honey. 13/10
AweSamDude - could kill god with a a glance. and a trident throw. 10/10
DropsByPonk - my fucking monarch 8/10
BadBoyHalo - 20/10 MAJOR pectorals.
TommyInnit - god this kid’s been through it. he’s fought in wars, sure, but who has time to work out when you’re always put through the ringer? –2/10
Tubbo - built snowchester and a huge guardian farm. 9/10
ItsFundy - more agile and limber. like a fox. bc he is one. also buff furries terrify me. 4/10
Punz - heavy breathing 11/10
Purpled - Merc work, bedwars, building, the building paranoia that everyone he trusts is going to betray him and money being his biggest motivator. 6.5/10
WilburSoot - I was gonna just say “weak old music man” but then I remembered he worked in mines, shot bows, and was in an army. 7/10
JSchlatt - I was gonna just say “weak old alcoholic man” but then I remembered he guzzled protein powder and lifted weights. that’s concerning. 7/10
Skeppy - he’s made of diamonds which is a cheat code. 50/10 but you’re disqualified
Eret - walking around in fancy clothes and dresses constantly with all the beauty and showmanship in the world must be exhausting. 8/10
JackManifoldTV - Potatoes, spite, death, radiation, and mental illness do not a buff man make 1.5/10
Nihachu - She must be in pain from having to carry The Syndicate on her back 8/10
Quackity - uncomfortably buff. 7/10
Karl Jacobs - energy drinks, hiring someone to build his kingdom, and disappearing doesn’t exactly sound like a workout plan sir 3/10
HBomb - vaults. his village. grinding. the prestige. 12/10
TechnoBlade - he’s been carrying the weight of his sins since the potato wars. also mining and farming for hours. 15/10
AntFrost - he is Stick. Slinky. 3/10
Philza - I’M A SURVIVORRR, I’M NOT GON’ GIVE UUUP 9/10
ConnorEatsPants - sonic man has legs that aren’t that swole despite running so much. 4/10
CaptainPuffy - foolish, your dad is gnc as fuck. 10/10
Vikkstar123 - in tommy’s head he’s ∞/10 which is fair but in reality he is 6/10 and that’s fine
LazarBeam - Mr Beam there is never anything to say about you so I’m going to slap on 5/10 and call it a day
Ranboo - Genderman? More like Jellyman 1/10
FoolishGamers - YOLKED. NOT JUST CUZ HE’S A GOD. BECAUSE HE CARRIES ALL HIS BUILDING MATERIALS BY H A N D 99999/10 I’M NOT A SIMP I PROMISE
HannahXXRose - bedwars, gardening, betrayal, it’s all gotta keep you swole. 8/10
Slimecicle - too-human charlie would be perfectly average. 5/10 goop boy? changing shape. ?/10
MichaelMcChill - man’s went full fucking super spy one time. and he’s been in the SMP business for years now. pretty damn swole. solid Mr McChill. 8.5/10
99 notes · View notes
truglori · 3 years
Text
Homebody (Ch.4)
Summary: Amiyah is the younger sister of local drug dealer (Durkio). Shy and reserved she keeps to herself and stays out the way. But lately she began to find interest in his right hand man/ best friend (Erik Stevens). Wanting to get him to notice her she discovers that he already had her wrapped around his finger without even trying! There was only a few problems that kept her away from her fantasies , her brother that controlled almost every single breath she took and would kill anyone who looked at her that way and lastly Eriks girlfriend, Alexis , who they called the queen of the hood according to her lavish lifestyle as well as being with the next newest top boy in the making. While Alexis was his girl to the streets all Amiyah wanted to do was be his Homebody...
Pairing: Erik Stevens x Thick OC
Warning: Language, teasing
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Her Spotify playlist resonated through her speakers in her room. Going back and forth between baking her face with a setting powder and checking the time on her Alexa, Amiyah prayed that she still had plenty of time to get dressed.
“Why the hell is time moving by so fast today?” She stressed walking to her closet. It was now 6:34pm which gave her lest than half an hour to finish.
Taking in consideration to what Erik asked her, she made sure to go out her way to put together a bomb outfit for the night. Amiyah didn’t want to be extra but she wasn’t trying to look boring either. After taking almost two hours to decide, with her ranksacking her wardrobe and overthinking she settled for a chocolate off the shoulder jumpsuit and paired them with a clear short heel.
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Walking to her body length mirror Amiyah checked both side profiles before standing in the middle.She tried her best stretching out the fabric just a bit to prevent it from making it seem like she had no breathing room. Then going to her breast she pulled it up to not show so much cleavage but contradicted her actions when she slipped it down trying to even it out.
“I want him to see them but not SEE them.” Slapping her hands on the side of her thighs she sighed.
She was overthinking again and her insecurities was starting to show. Reminding herself about the meditation tips she once read on she copied some of the steps that she could remember. Inhaling for three seconds and exhaling for five. She calmed her nerves.
The ringer from her phone echoed in the room. Looking at the caller Id it was Kelley FaceTiming her.
“Okay sis you look cute. Where we going?” Kelley asked as, from what it looked like from Amiyah’s view, she was getting into her car.
Unable to hold back her cheesy smile Amiyah informed her best friend ,with details, about what she was going to look forward to for the night. She felt like she was on cloud nine and she couldn’t come down.
“Wait so he’s taking you on a date?” Kelley asked genuinely happy that her friend was finally starting to put herself out there in the dating world.
“Well...” Amiyah hesitated.
“Oh God! What is that pause for?”
“I mean he asked me to hangout...isn’t that the same thing? Right?” Amiyah, completely oblivious of anything that had to do with dating or relationships.
“I don’t know honestly..but if he wants to see you then he HAS to be interested.” Kelley wanted to make sure that Amiyah would take in her friendly words of affirmation, not wanting to her to stress and end up renigging.
“Okay you’re right. But he should be on his way now so I’ll talk to you later and let you know how it went.” She blew air kisses to her.
“Alright babes have fun.”
Their call ended and it was a minute later she got a text from Erik letting her know that he was ten minutes away. She walked to her dresser and picked up her Carolina Herrera Good Girl perfume and sprayed on all of her pulse points so that the fragrance would emanate from her skin and into the air.
Throwing on her black waterfall duster coat she got one last glance at herself before walking into the livingroom. As she waited on the couch while taking pictures on Snapchat she heard a set of keys. Snapping for head towards the door she watched the bolt lock turn with the handle of the door and in came her brother.
He had his phone squished between his shoulder and ear showing that he was listening to someone on the other end of the call. His hand holding a Versace bag while the other closed the door locking it behind him. Eventually he glanced at her for a good three seconds and then looked away as he walked to his bedroom.
Amiyah sat confused as for the very first time her older brother didn’t bombard her with one hundred questions. But even though this was a first she still kept her guard up.
Hearing his footsteps again he appeared in back into the living. Phone still up to his ear, this time with him holding it. She studied as the expression on his face change from how he looked earlier which was, heedless to now showing curiosity. He stood there staring at her.
Maybe she spoke to soon.
“Hold on..hold on. I gotta call you right back.”
Without even waiting for a response Durk ended his phone call. Placing the phone back into his jeans front pocket he cocked his head to the side taking in the view of his little sister.
“What?” Amiyah spoke nervously as she kept her eyes on her phone and every now and then she would glance at him.
“I’m just trying to figure out where you think you going, and who you think you going with? That’s all?” He sat on the love seat across from her waiting on an reply.
Knowing that there was no way that she was going to tell her brother the truth about her going on a date with his right hand man/best friend, Amiyah had to make up a lie. That was essentially committing suicide for the both of them. Aside from that she wasn’t even sure if it was worth the risk to even tell him about was going on between her and Erik. She didn’t know if this would be something that could turn into a serious situation or ended up to be nothing at all.
“I’m going to dinner with Kelley.” The lie slipped easily through her lips.
“Dress like that?”
“What’s wrong with how I’m dressed?” She questioned really wanting to know from a mans perspective?
“Like you bout to go out to eat just to end up at some random ass nigga place to get fucked.”
Her mouth dropped opened. Tightening the belt on her jacket to close it she stared at her brother, shocked from his words. Taking a couch decorating pillow she threw it at him.
“Don’t talk to me like that Derrick.”
Whenever she would call him by his real name she was upset with him for real.
“Why you hitting me..you the one with ya tittes all out and now you sitting here lying talking about you going with yo friend.” He waved her off.
“I am. We planned this about a week ago.” Amiyah didn’t like to lie to her brother but she had to make it seem believable.
The familiar IPhone ringtone went off and she looked down and saw that it was Erik calling her. Being so occupied with her brother insulting her she didn’t realize that he sent her two text messages letting her know he was there.
Erik 💕: I’m here..ready when you are.
Erik 💕: I see your brother car out here. You good?
‘Oh my gosh not now Erik.’
She quickly declined his call. Amiyah looked at her brother with guilt written all over her face.
“Why you ain’t answer the phone? That’s yo nigga waiting for you? Pick it up!” Durk relaxed against the couch eyeing her.
“I don’t have a nigga and I already told you that I’m going to dinner with Kelley. That was her and she’s waiting for me now. Bye!”
Picking up her purse she walked to the front door. Before she even got a chance to unlock it, Durk was right next to her with his hand against it as he blocked the exit.
“Aight so I’ll walk you down.” He shrugged his shoulders.
Amiyah’s face scrunched up into a scowl.
“No! I don’t need you walking me down like I’m some child. I can handle myself. You’re always trying to control me-“
He cut her off. “Miyah don’t even start that shit. Just because I look out for you doesn’t mean I’m controlling you. I know how these niggas are around here and seen how they treat they shorties. So my bad if I’m helping you.”
“Okay and I understand but you have to trust me too. I’m very responsible and you know this. If I tell you I’m going one place than believe it...damn Durk sometimes I feel like you treat me like I’m your property instead of your younger sister.”
Amiyah expressed her true feelings. She felt as if she had no breathing room. Deep down she knew that her brother just wanted to protect her but she was getting older and due to his overprotective-ness it was causing her missed opportunities.
“Durk I never go anywhere. You know this. All I want to do is just hang out with my friend without you hounding me.” She gave him her best pout.
“I don’t hound you.” Shaking his head he sat back down on the couch.
“You’re right you don’t.” Amiyah stated sarcastically but agreeing just to get his approval.
There was a silent pause for one minute.
“You taking yo ass to dinner and coming right back?”
Nodding her head rapidly. “Yes.”
“Miyah let me find out you lying to me I’ma get my homeboy Erik to follow yo ass and find out who you fucking around with.” Durk scolded her.
“Okay, gotta go!”
‘Boy only if you knew.’
She thought to herself as she bit her lip to refrain from smiling. Unlocking the front door and opening it she wave a quick goodbye and began a fast pace walk to the elevator pressing on the down button. Not taking any chances she wanted to get out of the building as quickly as possible. The doors opened and she walked inside. Picking up her phone she called Erik. It only rung two times before he answered.
“Hey you still alive.” He gave a soft chuckle.
“Whatever. I’m coming now. I’m in the elevator. Can you do me a favor?” She asked with a soft tone.
“Wassup?”
“I need you to park a little bit further down. I’ll walk to you.” The elevator doors opened and she stepped out strolling to the entrance.
“Yeah. I got you. I’ll be two houses down to the right.”
“Okay thank you.” She ended the call.
While in his car Erik reconnected his phone back to the USB charging cord. He sighed as he took his car out of park and moved up to the location where he told her he was going to be. Shaking his head with the realization the he really had to sneak around with this girl. He was a grown man hiding from another grown man the fact that he wanted to take his younger sister out. Never in all his years of dealing with the opposite sex, he had to be this discreet. This was a new level.
Finding a place to park he left his car running and got out. Walking to the passenger side he leaned on the hood and waited for her to reach him. She came into view a minute later. Checking her out he noticed that she had make up on. This was the first time he saw her with it. It wasn’t a need for her though because she was already stunning with her natural features.
“Look who made it out alive!” He grinned poking at her.
Rolling her eyes but still blessing him with the sight of her beautiful smile she hit him playfully.
“Shut up.” Her laughed echoed through his ears.
“C’mere.” He clasped her hand bringing her body into his. His arms embrace her as they found their way around her waist.
Amiyah welcomed the act of affection swaddling her arms around his torso. He chuckled removing her arms. Lightly grasping her wrists with both of his hands he brought them around his neck before returning back to his previous position. It was his way of teaching her how to hug him correctly for next time.
Leaning in her neck Erik whispered against her supple skin.
“Hold me like this mama.” His body rocked them side to side.
Amiyah almost felt her eyes rolled to the back of her head when she felt his lips touch her neck. He was the epitome of being a tease and knowing what he was doing to her body. If this man was to tell her to jump she was going to take off her heels then asked him how high. Erik was the walking definition of having a sex appeal without even trying.
Their movements ceased and came face to face with one another again. Erik’s hands now relaxed on her hips. He leaned against his car to give himself room to fixate his eyes over her body. Her black coat covered her outfit. Taking his hand he began to untie the jacket belt.
Amiyah grabbed his hands halting his actions. She looked around before bringing her eyes back to his.
“What are you doing?” Her voice shaked.
“Let me see you.” His hand went up to her chin tapping it gently.
Being successful this time, he unfastened the waistband and revealed her wardrobe. Erik’s eyes gazed at her figure. Her tittes sat up flawlessly. The way her cleavage showed had Erik tempted to pull the fabric down and suck on the pillowy like flesh.
“You look too good right now.” His dimples appeared as he spoke. He closed her jacket and tied her belt.
Amiyah bashfully looked away. Butterflies being introduced to her stomach.
“Thank you...it was just something I threw on.” She nonchalantly responded pretending to be unbothered from him practically eye fucking her.
Erik’s eyebrows raised. “ Oh just like that make up too, huh?”
“Whatever Erik can we go before my brother come chasing after me?” She slipped her hand into her jacket pocket to make it warm as she waited for his next move.
“My bad mama. Here you go.” Erik opened the car door for her. Waiting until she was inside safely he closed it after her and strode to the drivers side.
“I like your outfit by the way.” Amiyah chose to make conversation once he got settled in.
“Thank you. I can’t even lie I was tryna look good for you.” Speaking honestly as he observed his outfit. His head then relaxed against the seat. “What you think?”
“You look really nice to me Erik.” She shyly retorted but giving a sincere opinion.
Prior to getting acquainted with Erik, Amiyah always found herself intrigued with his sense of style. Making that another reason for her to be attracted to him.
“Damn just nice..I was going for fine but fuck it I’ll take it” He fastened his seatbelt, drove off and en route to the movie theater.
“Oh my God. You are so extra.” Laughing she made herself busy with her phone, going back and forth between scrolling and taking small glimpses of the road.
“Can I ask you a question?”
His deep voice had her melting right in the front seat.
“Yeah but you just asked one.”
He snickered. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Purple, why?”
“ I’m trying get to know you that’s all.”
“Oh okay well it’s purple. What’s yours?” Pressing down on the power button of her phone she place it in her purse.
“Black.”
“Black? Really?” She stated questionably.
“Amiyah don’t start no shit with me.” Erik laughed as he looked at her.
“ Erik, me and you both know that black is the most basic color you can think of-“
“And purples not?”
“No it’s not and it’s actually the color of royalty thank you very much.” She fluttered her eyelashes sarcastically.
“Okay princess, you got it...It’s still ass.”
Amiyah grew warm from the new nickname in spite of the insult he made about her favorite color.
Erik laughed as she rolled her eyes for the umpteen time that night. He wasn’t actually making fun of her color, he just wanted to help her calm her nerves with some light play. She looked tensed to him just sitting there on her phone. If he didn’t know any better he would have thought that she wasn’t feeling him at all but he knew it was just her introverted ways.
Turning on the radio to break the silence, he went to the local hip hop station. Juicy by Biggie Smalls resonated through the vehicle. Bobbing his head to the beat with a little bounce of his shoulders Erik started rapping the lyrics.
“This my shit. You don’t know nothing about this, huh?”
“Whatever yes I do. This a classic.” Amiyah bobbed her head as well grinning.
“Nah you too young.”
He rapped a bit more before Amiyah jumped in and joined him.
“I'm blowin' up like you thought I would
Call the crib, same number, same hood
It's all good
And if you don't know, now you know, nigga”
Erik’s eyes lit up surprised she knew the words. Most of the ladies he been out with in the past always pretended to have the same interest in music as him but would never be able to recite one line from the song. His lips curved into a smile.
“Okay you valid. But that don’t count because everybody know that song.” He joked
“Why you always trying to play me Erik.” Amiyah sighed playfully.
They finally arrived at the movies. It was Saturday night so of course the parking lot was overfilled with cars. Finding a parking spot close to the entrance, Erik turned his car off and hopped out strolling to Amiyah’s side and opened her door. He held out his hand to assist her.
“Thank you.” Her eyes gleamed.
He drew his lower lip between his teeth. “I got you.”
Closing the door behind her, he clicked the lock button on his key fob. Amiyah started to walk to the building. She was stopped in her tracks. Erik grasped her hand intertwining their fingers and began to walk next to her. She peered down at them and beamed.
“What movie you want to watch?”
They were now standing in front of the movie display booth where you could purchase a ticket without waiting in line. Erik kept scrolling until she spoke up.
“I want to watch that one. Monster Hunter.”
He gave her a blank stare.
“What?”
“Do you even know what it’s about?” He chuckled.
“Yes a little bit. All I know is that it has T.I and Megan Good in it, so I want to see it.”
“Wait you said Megan Good. Bet.” His lips formed into a smirk.
Erik’s fingers tapped on the movie icon. Purchasing two tickets he waited for them to print before separating them and handing her one. Amiyah received the ticket as she gave him a dirty look. Jealous about his comment she walked to the concession stand to wait in line without him. Erik felt the feeling of jealousy radiating off her body language. She had a little attitude on her. Following her footsteps he stood behind her invading her space. His chest to her back. Erik’s head dipped down between the area of her neck and shoulder that was exposed laying a soft kiss on it.
“What you mad about....Hm?” The breath from his words bounced off of her skin.
Amiyah felt her pussy jump. Crossing her right leg over the left she clenched her thighs. Too afraid to even speak she bit her inner jaw and shook her head instead. Not long after she felt his strong hand travel around her waist to her front slipping in the inside of her jacket. He gripped her pudge. Amiyah’s small hand quickly wrapped around his forearm bringing it down.
“Erik!” She gasped out loud. Looking around and hoping she didn’t draw any unnecessary attention.
Her head tilted up due to the height difference to stare in his eyes. She was surprised she could even make contact after that stunt.
“I asked you a question so answer me.” His low voice demanded her.
“Nothing.” Hers barely coming out as a whisper.
He knew she wasn’t telling the truth but he didn’t want to push it out of her. Erik wanted her to be the one to make a decision about being honest with him. She had to make that step. But along with that he knew that she would have to trust him first. His hand roamed up to her exposed neck and lightly clenched it forcing her to move closer to his body as if was anymore capable. Amiyah felt the chill of his ice pinky ring as it laid against her skin. The sticky lipgloss that she wore created a tiny saliva string as her lips parted. Erik eyed the full plump flesh feeling enticed to suck on them.
“Chill, aight.” He waited for her to nod before he removed his hand as the line moved forward.
Fuck me. Were the words she wish she could tell him if she had the confidence to. At this moment she felt her natural sticky lubricant attach to her panties. She created a wedged with her underwear between her lower lips from all of the thigh clenching. None of it helped at all, it only generated a small amount of friction leaving her wanting more. She felt the walls of her vagina contract around nothing.
‘Did this nigga just grab my throat in the movie theater?’
She thought to herself touching the area where his hand left. Amiyah kept her eyes fixed on him as he ordered the drinks and snacks for the movie. She watched the way he would point at an item whenever he wanted the employee to get it for him. The way his jaw would tighten every now and then. Not in an angry way but out of habit. She took note of all these things.
“You ready?” Erik wandered back to her handing her some candy and a medium lemonade.
“Yeah. Thanks for buying the ticket and this other stuff.” She moved a piece of hair behind her ear looking away sheepishly. Her mood switched from a few minutes ago.
Erik sipping from the straw of his Powerade observed it.
“Told you I got you.”
_______________________________________
Bendix Diner was one of Amiyah’s top five hidden restaurants in the city where she loved to eat. It was and old fashioned style restaurant that always gave her an aesthetic vibe every time she went there. Currently seated at their table she flipped over the menu searching to see what she might have a taste for. Their family made apple cider donuts were her favorite item from the desert section. It’s been a few months since she had one and now being here she craved it.
Looking up at Erik she monitored his activity. He was checking out the art hanging on the walls seeming to be amused by it. His eyes shifted back to her. Wanting to pretend she wasn’t staring at him like a creep she informed him about a dish on the menu.
“Their Turn Me Loose meal is really good. It comes with catfish and jalapeño hush puppies. You should try it.” She gave him her recommendation.
Erik made a face. “I don’t fuck with seafoood.”
“Oh I’m sorry.” Amiyah apologized feeling embarrassed from assuming.
Erik picked up on. “Don’t stress it. How were you supposed to know I don’t like seafood? Don’t be to hard on yourself mama.” His hand reached across the table and caressed hers lightly offering his reassurance.
She sent a half smile. “What do you like then?”
Erik paused and bit his bottom lip. Deep dimples showing themselves from the action.
“You.”
Her eyes shifted towards the window seeing that it became fogged up due to the pouring rain that was coming down relentlessly. With nothing but the barely audible music coming from the intercom through the restaurant, Amiyah felt as if he can hear her heart beating through her chest.
“I meant food Erik.”
“You can be that too. Ain’t never have nobody eat you like you was a full-course meal before?” He asked her on the spot.
“You..are..” She shook her head. “Ridiculous. You know that.” Not having a comeback, those were the only words she could produce without stuttering.
Sighing and smirking he leaned back. “I’ve been called worst. But how you find out about this place. It’s low key as fuck. I like it.” He changed the subject.
Pleased with the compliment she responded. “I used to come here with my dad when I was younger. That was before he went to-“
“Prison.” He finished her sentence.
The look of confusion approached her face.
“Durk told me about him a few years ago.” He informed not meaning to alarm her.
“Did he tell you he was doing life without parole as well?”
Erik nodded his head.
She scoffed. “They said that he was the head of a drug ring but I don’t believe it. I mean I never remembered him being away from us long enough to even have the time to do that.”
“Sometimes we hide certain things from the people we love so that they won’t get hurt. And I’m not trying to insinuate anything when I say that.” He spoke honestly.
“No you’re right. But the last time we were here together I was thirteen. He took me here after picking me up early from school. It just sucks that I can’t even remember anything about that day but I want to so bad.”
Erik nodded his head totally understanding what she went through. He dealt with his own lost at a young age as well.
“I lost my father too. I was eleven when it happened. He was murdered. So when I tell you I know what you been through I’m not just saying that shit.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Her face soften when she seen his eyes sparked with hurt.
“You gotta learn how to live and heal right?”
Nodding her head in agreement she used her thumb to tenderly stroke his fingers. They were still holding hands the whole time as they shared a moment to be vulnerable with each other. It was intimate. That’s when she realized she had more in common with him than she thought.
“What about your mom? If you don’t mind me asking?” She desired to know more about him.
“I never got to know her. She passed away while giving birth to me.”
Erik felt his mood change with the thought of never being able to experience a true mother’s love. After the death of his father he was tossed back and forth from home to home in foster care. None of the caretakers genuinely cared for him, all they thought about was a paycheck.
“My mom overdosed when I was in high school. That’s why I live with Durk now. He’s been taking care of me ever since. I guess with everything that happened he had to find a way to survive for the both of us which lead him to the streets. Durk had his run in with the law but after our mom he became someone different.”
Amiyah spilled everything out on the table not holding back. She never had someone who she could vent to that would actually listen. Kelley was her best friend but she even kept some secrets from her. Amiyah was always afraid that one day the same person she trusted with everything would turn around and hurt her. From the moment she laid eyes on Erik she never thought that. In her eyes he looked as if he was a walking journal that she could expose all of her deepest darkest secrets to and not have to worry about one of them getting leaked.
“Now I see why your brother protects you the way he do. He just don’t want to see you hurt anymore.” His eyes gazed into hers making her feel small.
“Well, sorry If I ruined the mood. It’s been a minute since I’ve talked to someone for real.”
“I’m here for whenever. Only a phone call away.”
The waitress came around and sat a vanilla milkshake with whip cream in front of her and a water with lemon in front of Erik. Amiyah recognized her from the many times she been there.
“Are y’all ready to order.”
“Yeah, let me get your Turkey wrap heated up with a side of french fries.” Erik picked up his menu handing it to her.
Writing it down she took his menu and smiled.
“Okay and for you miss Amiyah.”
Her lips curled up bashfully.
“I’m going to get the honey dipped chicken with French fries as well. Thanks Stephanie.”
Going back to her pad she marked it down. “None of our famous donuts today?”
Erik looked over and read the hesitation over her face so he answered for her.
“We’ll take four of whatever they are.”
“Alrighty. I’ll be back with your meal in fifteen.”
The waitress disappeared into the kitchen.
“You didn’t have to do that, Erik.”
“What? I wanted to try their famous donuts. Oh you thought I ordered them for you?” He laughed.
Rolling her eyes she heard her phone buzzed. Reaching inside the pocket of her coat that was laying next to her she got a text from her brother.
Durk 🤬: When you comin home?
She sighed and text back.
Amiyah ☔️: I’ve only been gone for two hours..I’ll be back soon.
Placing the phone back in her pocket she put her attention on her milkshake taking her first sip of the night. Erik watched the way her lips wrapped around the straw as her cheeks sunk in whenever she sucked to taste some of the creamy treat. His tongue swiped over his top lip lightly.
“Let me get some..” His eyes darted between the milkshake and her lips.
Laughing she shook her head. “No, why didn’t you order one?”
“Because I was thirsty and I needed some water. But that looks good as fuck.”
“So then just order one Erik.”
He smacked his lips. “I don’t want a whole one I just want some.”
Giggling she pulled her beverage away hiding it from his view.
Erik’s eyes glinted before he got out on his side and slid next to her in her part of the dining booth. His right thigh hitting her left plush one causing it to ripple from the sudden movement. Having one arm behind her and the other reaching for her drink he leaned in.
“Stop playing and give me a sip.”
Now being backed into the corner she was trapped. Still firm with her answer she shook her head sipping once more.
“You not gon give me nun.” Biting that bottom lip Amiyah felt that came out as a double meaning.
Tired of going back and forth she gave in and slid her drink to him.
“Just a sip. That’s all!”
Erik nodded but not really listening, took the straw into his mouth and sucked the liquid. He didn’t have a big sweet tooth but he had to admit that the milkshake was fire. Taking more than what he was told he sat it down after gulping more than half of it. He leaned against the booth. One arm still around her.
Her mouth dropped as she studied that half her drink was already gone.
Smacking her lips she pushed at his chest. “Erik I told you not to drink that much...now look.” She whined picking up her cup to show him.
“Damn you can’t be hitting me like that on the first date, Amiyah.” His free hand rubbed the area pretending that it hurt.
She caught his words that slipped from his mouth. “I thought you asked me to hang out? You didn’t say nothing about a date.”
“What you want it to be?” Erik sized her up with his deep throaty voice close to her ear. Her scent filled his nose making his dick twitch.
She gave him a once-over before looking a way.
He grabbed her chin gently bringing her face millimeters away from his. “What you want it to be baby girl?” His eyes drawing her in with a lustfull gaze.
“I want a date.” Her lower lip quivered and skin apprearing flustered.
“Then let it be that.”
Erik couldn’t hold back anymore as his lips connected with hers. He gave her two soft pecks at first just to warm her up before giving a full lingering kiss. He tilted his head going to left making hers do the same. The taste of the vanilla coming off of her mouth drove him crazy. She was tasting as sweet as she looked. Her kissing compared to his were lighter and didn’t apply enough pressure like they should have.Letting his free hand travel up to her neck for the second time that night, he lightly squeezed before pulling away from her lips.
“Kiss me for real...” He bit her bottom lip and tugged it while watching her reaction. Her body shuddered.
Amiyah’s toes curled. Her stomach filled up with butterflies as she felt his hand around her throat. Her mind at the moment felt high. She didn’t really know what she was doing, just trying her best to keep up with the man in front of her. Mocking his actions she pressed more into the kiss and brought her hand to his cheek to give herself leverage.
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Breaking them apart was the sound of a phone ringing. Erik reached in his pocket and pulled it out. Reading the caller ID he threw his head back blowing out air.
“Fuck..” He stated agitated.
Wiping her lips she looked at him. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s your brother, Durk.”
_______________________________
Please excuse any mistakes!
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moldisgoodforyou · 3 years
Text
ten voicemails
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wordcount: 2.6k
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Through the entirety of Rafe and Sophie doing long distance, he had been great about keeping it to himself that he missed her. He knew that sharing it once in a while was alright, but too much and he was convinced he’d make her upset and ruin her study abroad experience - the last thing he wanted to. He even put his phone away most times if he was going to get drunk, knowing he’d probably end up drunkenly confessing something he shouldn’t. He had a great track record - until he didn’t. 
He had to admit, he was feeling himself. Earlier that day, he’d FaceTimed her after his long-overdue haircut appointment, at her request. She had answered the phone in a hurry, walking to her metro stop with her bag slung over her shoulder and hadn’t really looked too closely at the screen, more just listening through her headphones. When she finally glanced at him she stopped in her tracks abruptly, nearly bumping into someone. “Oh my god, look at you!” 
He raised his eyebrows, running his hand through his hair nervously. He had let the hairdresser do whatever she wanted and she had gone for a shaggier cut that made his hair curl a little at the ends, a little trendier than he expected. “Is it that bad?” 
“No! No, no, not at all - did you ask for that cut? That’s not your normal.” 
He shrugged, still a little wary of her reaction. “No, I just let her do something new. It’s okay, right?” 
“Fuck, that’s hot,” she cursed, trying to be quiet as people moved around her in the busy street. 
He seemed to brighten almost immediately, his chest puffing up and cheeks turning a little pink. “Yeah? You think so?” 
“Absolutely.” Sophie glanced around, bringing the mic on her earbuds a little closer to her mouth as she spoke. “I cannot describe what I want to do to you right now, because I think I might get cited for public indecency, but holy hell. You look great, baby.” 
He beamed, but shook his head. “You’re just saying that because we haven’t seen each other in more than two months and you’re horny.” 
“I’m not! I’m not, I swear.” She laughed. “Look, I gotta go or I’ll be late to work, but we can talk later, okay? You look hot, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” 
That conversation alone had boosted his ego to the moon. He’d gotten off work early - thank you, summer Fridays - and immediately convinced James and Colin into day drinking. They had just moved into their senior house a week ago and Rafe felt miles better not being under the pressure of living with Colin’s parents, as hospitable as they were. 
Once the three of them were sufficiently drunk by five, they ordered multiple pizzas and indulged enough so they were somewhat sober again. Rafe had the brilliant idea of leaving Sophie voicemails every time they made the move to a new spot, keeping her updated. “Sophie! Sophie, baby, hello. We’re walkin’ to the Varsity Club now, then we’re gon’ get drunk again.” 
“I think you’re still drunk.” Colin pointed out, reaching for Rafe’s phone. “Hi Sophie!” 
“James, say hi.” Rafe ordered, holding the speaker toward him. James nodded and waved and Rafe was satisfied, despite the fact it was just a voicemail. “He says hello. Anyways, just giving you the update. I don’t think my typing fingers are all here ready to go, so m’ just gonna call you. Love you!”
That continued through the night as the boys got more drunk and got more indecipherable, with some yelling into the phone (“Sophie! James is hitting on a girl!”) and some accidental calls where the only audio was the muffled music in the background. Once they finally stumbled out of the bars at closing time, all on their way to a miserable hangover when they woke up later that day, Rafe dug out his phone again to call Sophie. 
She typically kept her phone’s ringer on, just in case he needed her, but when she was woken up for the fifth time in the middle of the night, she had to silence it. However, she’d also seen how at least one of the boys got hurt every time all three of them got drunk, so she could hardly sleep well anyways. She groaned when her phone lit up again with yet another voicemail from Rafe, this time of him singing Just The Two of Us horribly off-key. 
“Jesus Christ, Rafe, that’s like your tenth voicemail.” James shook his head, amused, trying to grab the phone away from him. He made a noise of protest, standing on his toes and holding the phone out of James’ reach. “No! Gotta keep Sophie updated, I promised I’d check in.” 
“Good thing she loves you, because even this would be too much for me.” Colin jested, throwing his arm around Rafe’s shoulders to keep him supported as they walked out the bar. “No, she’s in love with me. There’s a difference.” He corrected with a scowl. 
“Doesn’t matter.” Colin argued. 
“Does too matter. In love is like...” Rafe trailed off, thinking, then grinned. “It’s like when it’s finally spring again and you get to sit in that first warm patch of sun.” 
James rolled his eyes. “Okay, dummy. You’re a fuckin’ sap.” 
“M’ not. Not at all.” Rafe argued, fumbling with his phone. Colin plucked it out of his hand, raising his eyebrows. “What the fuck are you trying to do, dude?”
“Gotta check in.” Rafe insisted, grabbing it back and finally finding the FaceTime app and jabbing it with his thumb. Sophie picked up after a few rings, squinting with messy hair and reached to flick on a lamp. “What.”
“Baby!” He exclaimed, grinning. “Angel, look, I’m with my friends, you know them.” He turned the phone to show Colin and James and they waved, Colin rolling his eyes.
“Okay. Do you know what time it is here?” She yawned, pulling the blankets tighter around herself.
“No, how many times is it?”
She raised her eyebrows at his slurred speech and the unfocused look in his eyes. “Holy hell, you’re wasted, aren’t you?”
“No no no.” Rafe shook his head quickly. “No drinkings tonight. Nothing.”
“Not good to lie to your girlfriend, Rafe.” James teased and Sophie scowled. “He’s right. No lying.”
“Okay, fine. I had...um...two drinks. That’s all.”
“No you didn’t.”
“No I didn’t.” He agreed, nodding. “It was seven. Eight. Nine.”
“Alright. Are you safe? M’ kind of tired, baby.”
Both the boys grinned to each other, making a mental note to give him shit for the pet name later. Rafe ignored them, not looking away from the screen once. “My liver might not be safe.”
She snorted, nodding. “Okay. Can I go back to sleep?”
“No. If you’re already up then we can talk.” He insisted and she groaned, dropping her face into her pillow. “Rafe, no. I’m hanging up, I went to bed at three.”
“You’re not hanging up on me. You need to get more sleep though, your schedule’s out of whack. Hey, remember when we used to fight?”
She lifted her head slowly, annoyed. “Yes.”
“Are we fighting right now?”
“Will you let me hang up?”
“No.”
“Then yes. We’re fighting.” She rolled her eyes as his face dropped and he put on a big frown. “No! I don’t like fighting Sophie and Rafe. You know what, though?”
“What?”
“We missed out on a hate fuck.”
“Rafe!” She hissed immediately, turning bright red. “James and Colin are right there.”
“S’okay, they know I liked you for evers.”
“They don’t need to know about our sex life -”
“We know way too much about your sex life.” James interrupted, swatting Rafe upside the head just because he could. “So it’s kind of useless to be embarrassed about it now.”
“Oh my god.” She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head. “Rafe, keep your mouth shut.”
He was completely unbothered and sent her a dopey grin. “Okay. Hey, when we get married, are you gonna let me buy the ring?”
Suddenly she was wide awake and she rubbed her eyes, unsure if she heard him correctly. “Hold up, you said when?”
“Yes, when. I don’t want to have to stick to your budget, you deserve the biggest damn diamond ever.”
Colin and James exchanged a glance as they walked up ahead of Rafe, a little wary of the conversation he was setting himself up for but too drunk themselves to care.
“Um. Who said we’re getting married?”
He frowned, sighing heavily like the topic was exhausting. “We are. You know it, I know it.”
Sophie hummed in response, unsure of how to answer that. “Okay then. That’s, um. Nice of you to say.”
“You have to promise me one thing.” 
She took a deep breath. “Rafe, I’m not sure I want to be promising anything to you right now -” 
“I want you to wear a garter so I can take it off with my teeth on our wedding night.” He insisted, looking way too serious as he told her. “We’re going to get married, or you wouldn’t have moved your ring.” 
She blushed and hoped he couldn’t tell from the dim glow of the lamp, ignoring his request. “I moved it because it fits better on my ring finger.” 
“I’m sure you did.” He nodded, placated, and she was grateful he didn’t press it further. “I wish you were here, it’s more fun getting drunk with you.”
“Hey!” James spun on his heel and Colin had to grab at him to keep him upright. “We’re plenty fun!”
“Are you gonna make out with me then cuddle? I don’t think so.” Rafe shot back, grinning when Sophie laughed.
“Rafe got hit on tonight.” Colin informed her, breaking into a round of giggles with James as Rafe sent them a glare. 
“You got hit on? Was she pretty?” Sophie raised her eyebrows, trying to hide a small smile. 
“Um…” Rafe trailed off, trying to form a complete thought. “She was nice.” 
“Yeah? Just nice?” 
He nodded decidedly. “Just nice.” 
“Practically flashed you.” James argued. “That’s more than just nice.” 
The girl had leaned over the bar to say hi to Rafe, giving him a view down her shirt - he had immediately blushed red and shoved Colin forward, telling her Colin was single but Rafe was most definitely not. 
“Bold.” Sophie commented, yawning. “Good for her.” 
Rafe narrowed his eyes a little. “You’re not mad?” 
“Did you flirt back?” 
“No! Of course not!” He exclaimed, shaking his head vigorously. 
She shrugged. “That’s what I thought. I’m not mad, I have no reason to be. Can I go back to sleep now, please?” 
“Pay attention, Rafe.” Colin called out, glancing behind him to see Rafe nearly walking into a streetlight pole as he kept his eyes trained on the screen. 
“No. You get to hang out with me.” He decided and she grumbled, but rolled onto her side and set the phone up hands-free so she could at least watch him get home safely. 
“Hey, Sophie!” James butted his head against Rafe’s to get in view of the screen, making him yelp. 
“Hi James.” 
“Remember you gotta come home soon. If you don’t, Rafe’s gonna be sad and I can’t have my buddy being sad.” He told her seriously, slinging his arm around Rafe’s shoulders. 
She laughed, nodding. “I’ll come home, don’t worry.” She grinned. “I would miss you and Colin too much.” 
“Hey!” Rafe exclaimed, indignant. “What about me?” 
“What about you?” 
He was about to open his mouth and make his case when he tripped on the uneven sidewalk and his phone clattered to the ground. James cracked up, picking up the phone and flipping the camera to show Rafe in someone’s front yard, lying next to a crumpled metal sign. “Get up, dumbass.” 
“Wait, no, hold on, is he bleeding?” Sophie frowned, suddenly more attentive. 
“Noooo. M’ fine.” Rafe insisted, clapping his hand over a slice down his arm. 
“Show me your arm, Rafe.” She commanded and he scowled but obliged, showing her a small but deep cut on his forearm and the blood trailing out of it. She nearly retched but squeezed her eyes shut instead for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Okay. Where’s Colin? Is he sober?” 
“Here!” Colin had gotten a solid block ahead of them, wandering, then jogged back once he realized his friends had stopped. “Damn, dude.” He mumbled, just standing there and watching Rafe bleed. 
“Jesus Christ.” Sophie muttered. “Okay. Can one of you get an Uber to the hospital? Please?” 
James handed the phone to Colin and took off his shirt, tapping it ultra-gently against Rafe’s cut, effectively doing nothing. “Mine’s dead.” 
“I didn’t bring my phone.” Colin added, then squinted as he finally got a good look at her. “You look tired, you should sleep more.” 
She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying not to lose her composure. “Where are you guys?” 
“Dunno.” Colin turned in a circle, nearly tripping over his feet. “Oh! We’re by the stadium.” 
“Alright. I’m going to hang up and call my friends to come get you, do you promise to stay there?” 
“Sophie?” Rafe asked, his voice a little weak. 
“Yeah, Rafe?” 
“If I bleed out and die, I need you to know that I love you and I miss having sex with you.” 
She rolled her eyes, exasperated. “That’s sweet. You’ll be fine. Stay there, okay? I need a promise from all of you.” 
The boys all mumbled a chorus of “I promise,” and she hung up, satisfied, then immediately called Allie and Julia to go pick them up. Luckily they were both sober and corralled the boys into Allie’s car, taking the phone from Rafe to keep Sophie updated. Once they made the short drive to the emergency room, Julia opened the door to help Rafe out, making Allie’s car light turn on. He groaned and threw his uninjured arm over his eyes, squinting. “I can’t go to the light. I gotta make it for my girl.” 
“That’s not - that’s the car light, Cameron.” Julia told him, tugging to get him out. He stayed limp like a ragdoll, shaking his head. “Tell Sophie I love her.” 
“You’re not dying. Get out of the car.” Sophie commanded from the FaceTime call. Rafe snapped his head up toward the sound. “I hear her.” 
“What on earth did you drink?” Allie asked incredulously, taking the phone from Julia. “Look, can we just text you when we’re out? Airhead here is gonna be too distracted.” 
Sophie laughed, running her hand over her face. “Yes, that’s fine. Thank you for putting up with him.” 
Julia grumbled, finally tugging Rafe out of the car with James’ assistance. “He owes us a bottle of some good wine after this.” 
Two hours later, Rafe was fresh out of the hospital with a tetanus shot and three stitches, and a promise to detail Allie’s car in order to get the blood off of her leather seats (which she had just easily cleaned with a Clorox wipe). He was still a little drunk, but not nearly at the same level when the girls texted her a picture of him with a dopey grin and two fingers up on one hand, then one finger on the other. 
Allie: your boyfriend is a nightmare drunk
Sophie: unfortunately
what are the fingers supposed to mean
Julia: he said it stands for two and a half weeks until he sees you 
Sophie: aw. you two are the best, seriously 
Allie: a boyfriend of yours is a boyfriend of ours
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ayzrules · 3 years
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✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D
  Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////
  This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here. 
✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇   I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.
  So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.
  Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle). 
  And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao
✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘   As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo
  And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.
  Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.
  But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?
  Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.
  Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well
✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒)   Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???
  So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).
  Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.
  On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.
  But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.
✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍   AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.
  I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!
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seihun · 4 years
Text
can i be your boyfriend? — a bbh social media au
ϟ prev ◂ part 15B ▸ next
ϟ pairings: byun baekhyun + oc:reader
ϟ word count: not too long, hopefully, because this is supposed to be a social media au (2.6k)
ϟ notes: hello! look at me, writing things out on this fake text blog, and updating before midnight. i don’t usually do this, but somethings are better said in incoherent paragraphs than in screenshots, plus it’s hard to convey the in-between steps of a relationship through just texts, so i hope you enjoy this insight into their budding relationship 🤗 more notes at the end!!
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MONDAY.
“How exactly is it that you started working at Buzzfeed?” you question, reaching over a pillow to dip your bread in olive oil.
Baekhyun watches with amusement as you whine audibly when some runny oil drips from the bread onto your jeans. The indoor picnic he’d set up is pretty damn great if he does say so himself—blankets, pillows, and enough Italian food to feed a small army; and you, of course.
It’s another one of his many, many dates with you—or at least, he’s pretty certain they’ve been dates. Hearing you confirm that you like him was definitely a confidence booster, and reassuring, to say the least, but if Baekhyun’s being completely honest, he’s not sure where to go from here.
He likes you, he knows that much. He likes you a lot; a lot, a lot—(“You’re halfway in love with her, call it what it is,” Minseok said, before getting his ear pinched by Maize)—and he definitely loves spending time with you, and if you asked him, he’d say you’re dating casually, but would you agree?
It’s not like he would know, this is his first serious sort-of-relationship, after all. Baekhyun was never exactly the most suave kid back in high school; more clumsy and awkward than anything with anyone who wasn’t Kyungsoo. He’s not a complete novice; he’s been on dates, gone out, even had a few one night stands in his freshman year, but nothing close to this—whatever it is he has with you—so sue him for basically winging everything for these past two months.
“Honestly,” he recounts, “I did what you did. I complained publicly about one of their posts, and someone DMed, and eventually offered me a job, and here I am.”
“Wait, that’s not fair!” you whine, “Nobody wanted to pay me for my complaint tweets!”
“Well you should have tagged the VP of the company, not me.”
Baekhyun laughs while you pout, toothy smile diminishes into a closed lip one, as his eyes glaze over and flutter between your eyes and your lips. He finds himself leaning in after you, a nervous kind of excitement taking over him as you grow closer. And it’s just barely after his lips have grazed yours that you’re both interrupted by the buzzing and ringing of a cellphone.
You seem to know that it’s your phone, if the crinkling of your eyebrows and embarrassed exhale are anything to go by. Baekhyun simply chuckles, gently presses his index finger to the tip of your nose, and pulls away with a smile.
He watches you fetch your phone, and reluctantly answer the call—which, appears to be a FaceTime judging by the noise and the distance with which you hold your phone from your face.
“Chanyeol, if you’re trying to let Sehun win best friend of the year, you’re succeeding,” are your first words, and Baekhyun can’t help the audible laughter that leaves his mouth.
It doesn’t go unnoticed by you, or Chanyeol. “Who’s laughing, are you—is it the Buzzfeed boy? Oh, is this is a date? Baekhyun are you listening! Hello! My name’s Chanyeol, and I’m—”
“I’m going to hang up on you, what do you want!” you hiss.
Baekhyun finds himself smiling throughout the rest of your conversation. He likes that you’re comfortable enough to answer Chanyeol in front of him; he thinks that if Maize or Kyungsoo or Minseok called him, he’d pick it up in front of too. He’s not too sure about Junmyeon, though, he’s more likely to embarrass him.
Baekhyun hopes he can stick around long enough to meet the rest of your friends—from what you’ve told him about them, they sound like just the kind of people he likes having around. And after hearing how long you’ve been friends with them, namely Sehun, he finds himself even more understanding of your dynamics.
Not many people get just how deep a friendship can run, so when he tells people he’s known Kyungsoo for as long as Kyungsoo’s been alive, their reactions are surface level at best. But you get it, because Sehun is your Kyungsoo; or, rather, you’re Sehun’s Kyungsoo. Baekhyun shakes his head at the thought—the point is, you’re both similar in that respect, and he likes it. He likes you.
“Anyway,” he tunes back into to hear Chanyeol sighing, “I just wanted to let you know I burned the bear, so our apartment smells like smoke, which makes Sehun and I homeless for the evening, so we’re at your place, please bring dinner.”
“What do you mean you burned it! Chan—”
“You know, as in we lit it on fire. Sehun also wanted to throw it off the roof, but Chungha stopped him, so we just did it our living room, and now she’s being a meanie and saying she can’t help refuge us because she has a ‘group project’ meeting at her place in an hour, which I think is a lie. Baekhyun, if you’re still listening, I want you to know that I’m not a pyromaniac—”
“—Debatable—”
“I’m not. Anyways, bring food when you’re done flirting, Sehun and I are hungry, and Chungs is leaving us foodless, as per usual.”
“Then buy food.”
“Do I look rich to you?”
“Yes, actually—”
“Hyung—oh, hey, is that _____?” Sehun’s voice asks, “Hey, Chanyeol finished the gummy worms, can you—”
“I’m hanging up!”
Baekhyun watches with light in his eyes as you hurriedly end the call, then sheepishly turn back to him. “I am… so sorry they’re like this,” you apologize, putting your phone back face down on the blanket and composing yourself.
Baekhyun shakes his head, “Don’t worry, my friends are much worse.”
“Your friends are smart,” you reason, “And quiet, and don’t break into my apartment at their earliest convenience.”
“Actually, Junmyeon has done that last one,” Baekhyun hums, scooting a bit closer to you, “Except, it wasn’t my apartment, he broke into Minseok’s. Let’s just say it didn’t end well for him.”
Baekhyun thinks the embarrassing anectode was worthwhile to hear you laugh, even if it was at Junmyeon’s expense. It’s fine, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
“So, does Chanyeol normally light things on fire or was this a one time thing?”
“You’d be surprised by the amount of things he’s accidentally set on fire since I’ve known him, actually,” you laugh, “But no—well, you know the bear I told you about? The one, um, Jongin gave to me when I saw him on Sunday?”
Baekhyun nods. Of course.
“Well, I also told my idiot friends about it, and that’s what Chanyeol burned,” you tell him. Baekhyun bites his bottom lip, trying not to laugh, but the temptation is written all over his face—or, evidently, so, as you chime in with, “It’s okay, you can laugh.”
Thank god, because Baekhyun wasn’t sure he could keep a straight face (or hide his blatant happiness). He decides right there that he likes Chanyeol. You have good friends.
Admittedly, after hearing you tell him about your history with Jongin as both a friend and a boyfriend, Baekhyun can’t say that he’s exactly fond of the guy. Junmyeon tells him to never judge a book by its cover, but seeing as you gave him the summary, he thinks he can fairly conclude that Jongin isn’t… the best person in the world. And the way he treated you and your friends is enough to make Baekhyun weary about him as a person.
Still, Baekhyun doesn’t judge you for talking to him. He’s not exactly jealous; he’s confident in your feelings for him and his for you, and above all, he trusts that you’re being honest with him. Quite frankly, Baekhyun doesn’t consider your ex boyfriend to be a threat.
Baekhyun knows you clearly just want to be a good friend, or at the very least, a good person to Jongin; and after knowing him for almost a decade—even if things got a bit bumpy—Baekhyun thinks you’re more than justified in that. You clearly see something in Jongin that you think can be helped, and Baekhyun trusts your judgement; you did pick him, too, after all.
Does he like that Jongin gives you gifts, and is very clearly still into you even tho you can’t see it, and don’t want any part in it? No, not exactly. But, on the bright side, Baekhyun’s the one that has your attention, and that counts for more than something.
(Not to mention you have a couple of guys who are both rooting for him and willing to beat up your ex at moments notice, so, he’d say he’s in a pretty good boat).
The only thing Jongin has ever had that Baekhyun wants is the opportunity to call you his. But he thinks he’s getting there. Hopefully. Is it weird to ask the ex of the girl you’re interested in how he got her to be his girlfriend in the first place? Do you even want to be his girlfriend? He hopes so.
He doesn’t know if sharing cheese and crackers and pasta and bread is any indication that you want to be his girlfriend, but he’d like to think it is. Because that’s what the next half hour consists of—you and Baekhyun, sharing food over smiles and stories and endless laughter.
Baekhyun finds himself laughing so hard at a story you tell him about Chanyeol and Chungha pranking Sehun, that he might as well be laughing over you. His hand ends up on your shoulder in his fit of giggles, and yours just barely above his knee. Neither of you comment on it, but you don’t pull away, either.
He’s about to chip in with a story about his childhood self, when he’s interrupted by notification noises again. Baekhyun grins at your exasperated exhale and tightly closed eyes. “It’s fine, they’ll be fine,” you tell him, silencing the ringer, and turning back to him in an attempt to continue your conversation.
Baekhyun’s about to tell you that it’s okay, that you should check your phone in case it’s an emergency or something, but he doesn’t have to; because it starts buzzing again and again and again and eventually is back to ringing.
“Answer it,” Baekhyun smiles, “Seriously, I wouldn’t want you to have to face Sehun’s wrath for ignoring him.”
It’s silent for a minute, while you scroll through your messages, and thumb a response. Baekhyun watches as your expression changes from annoyed, to vaguely amused, to concerned, to borderline unhappy. It makes his own eyebrows draw together when he sees the frown start to form on your lips.
“Everything okay?”
“Uh… I don’t think so,” you sigh, locking the screen and looking up at him, “I think I gotta head home, Sehun might have broken smoke detector and Chanyeol got… something stuck to the ceiling trying to fix it.”
Baekhyun can’t help the laugh that escapes him. You have really good friends.
“Fuck, Baek, I’m so sorry, this is—you did all of this, and my idiot friends—”
Baekhyun takes one of your flailing hands into his, effectively calming your stature and forcing to you make eye contact with him. “Hey, it’s fine, I promise,” he reassures you, “Really, it’s okay. If I got stuck to the ceiling I would hope Kyungsoo would come rescue me, too.”
“You don’t have to say that just because—”
“I’m not just saying anything,” he laughs through his words because the look on your face is nothing short of adorable, “I mean it. I had fun on our—I, I had fun, today. It’s fine, really, I promise.”
And so, you smile, demeanor significantly calmer, “I… should call a car,” you tell him, his eyes traveling down your enveloped hands, which he releases slowly, embarrassed; but then you grin again, tapping away at your phone, “I had fun on our date, too, Baekhyun.”
(So these were dates! Nice, cool, cool, keep it cool. He doesn’t; he grins like a blushing fool).
Baekhyun helps you gather your things, and moves the food around so that neither of you step on it; walks you to the door when your car says it’s arriving shortly. He waits with you on the doorstep, pretending to look out for a white sonata, when he’s really stealing glances at you through your small talk.
“Would you, uh… I mean, you’re probably already going, so,” you cut yourself off with slow exhale, turning your body towards his, “There’s this showcase, presentation type thing, for some students to, uh, present about their research coming up soon. You might already know about it, since Kyungsoo is giving one about his summer internship, I think—and it might be a little boring, and that you’re not a science guy, so it’s okay if you don’t want to—”
Baekhyun cuts you off by calling your name, a wide smile playing on his lips. “I’d love to go,” he tells you, earnestly, “I was going to go, to see Soo anyway, but I wanna support my new favorite biochem student, too.”
“Really?” You reach out and grab his hand, an action that almost seems lost on your in your flurry of excitement or flattery—or both—but, not on Baekhyun, whose palm suddenly feels warm. You must have been able to tell you flustered him, because your eyes widen, looking down at your hands, then promptly pulling them away.
“You, I mean, I want you to come, but only if you want—”
Baekhyun doesn’t know what moves him to take a leap, step a little more into your space, and take both of your hands in his with unwavering intention, but he’s glad for it; because you don’t pull away, and the look you give him kind of makes him never want to look away.
“I want to go,” he says slowly, dipping his head down the slightest, close enough to see the rings of your irises, even in the dim lighting of his porch, “I want to be there for you.”
There’s an almost inaudible “okay,” that leaves your lips, the letters rolling off your tongue with a shy smile that Baekhyun finds himself mimicking. His eyes flutter away, just for a moment, to your hands, then back to your face, before he slowly lets them go, only to rest them against your jaw again.
Baekhyun might be using the “taking things slow” mantra as an excuse for his complete lack of experience on how to navigate a real relationship, but this, right here, he’s sure of. That he likes you, that he wants you, that he—
“Can… can I kiss you?” he asks, just above a whisper.
His eyes are frantic, looking for an answer in yours, but instead he gets them from your lips; a soft, “Yes,” accompanied by a softer nod that Baekhyun would have missed if not for having your head in his hands.
When he leans forward, you meet him halfway, lips pursed together—and Baekhyun thinks that, yeah, if being in a relationship with you meant he got to do this, all day, then he would have to figure out how to be your boyfriend sooner, rather than later.
One kiss turns into two, then three, then four with smiles, and giggles in-between, and the only thing that seems to pull you away from each other is the honking of a car horn. Flustered, Baekhyun lowers his hand, bites on his bottom lip as you fumble to check the license plates on the car to those on your phone.
“I think that’s my car,” you tell him, and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but he swears there’s slightest twinge of disappointment in your voice, too, “I—I had fun, Baek, really. So, thank you, again.”
“Me too,” he says, words on autopilot, brain still stuck in the moment before.
He smiles, daystruck as he walks you to the curb, before you cross the street. He’s about to wish you well again, before you turn to him, and give him the smallest, barely there peck on the lips.  
“Goodnight, Baekhyun.”
He doesn’t even know if he responds audibly, he’s processing you in fragments, watching your silhouette as you cross the street, and head into the backseat of the car. He swears he catches the smallest wave from you through the window, but for all he knows that could have been his imagination.
Your goodnight kiss lingers on his lips, on his mind, and it’s only when he’s back inside that he lets himself break out into the foolish grin he’s been hiding all night. He’s going to have to figure out how to do that boyfriend-girlfriend thing. As soon as possible.
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ϟ tag list: @artfulbarnes @bat-shark-repellant @baek-byunies @baeklooming-day @bbh-kji @cosmins​ @coffee-prince-kyungsoo​ @etsjusoa @exuwu @elyxion1485 @fifiaaaaaa @haechanspudu @honeyboocal @httpschoisan​ @junkfoodwriting @just-a-sad-writer​ @j-pping @kkpoptrashhh @littleflowercrown13 @loeytingz @marina-del-rey98 @mangobaek @miraculyfe @mochahyuck @oasissehun @ohwosehun @p-polaroid @peachesyeol @peacherparker​ @penguinsoo-l @rikachusworld @sakura-uji @shesdreaminginoverdose @sekshi-namjas @smolpeyy​ @strawberrychannie​ @takoyakkun​  @to-all-the-stories-i-love @vaiva @writingindaisies @xiutingmyself @yourexotextplus
ϟ more notes: more smoochies!! they have kissed a few times (maybe once or twice) since their first kiss a few parts ago, but i had no way of showing that to you guys so here you go!! they’re in a weird stage where they kiss each other goodbye and go on dates and like each other but it’s not exactly... dating? 
i hope this gives some insight into baekhyun’s thoughts, as well. some things are harder to get across through just texts, but i wanted to show his feelings beyond his overexcited, adorable messages 🥺 he’s still a whole babie, but he has complex thoughts!! 
i’ll finish rambling now, but there is an intended part 15C (which I know, sounds like it should just be part 16 at this point, but in a perfect world, I’d have been able to fit everything into one post but i digress). maybe it’ll be part 16 anyway, but it’ll likely include some writing because the xiuchen drama is back!! 🤗
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abbatoirablaze · 2 years
Text
Queens Of The Mayans, Nevaeh, Chapter 10
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of blood, violence.
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Coco's POV
"Johnny huh?" I asked. My grin couldn't have been any bigger. The little boy peered around from the back of Eva's legs and he stared curiously at me.
"Who's asking?"
"I GOTCHA!" Riz bellowed, running up behind her and grabbing the little boy. He forgot all about me and squealed with excitement as Riz began tickling him, “OH I GOTCHA. YOU DIDN’T EVEN SEE ME, DID YOU!”
"Yeah," Eva said after a second, drawing my eyes back up to her face, "that's my son...Johnny."
I frowned for a second. The thought that she'd moved on fucked with me. I felt a little bit of jealousy rising up at the idea. I'd never forgotten her.
"Is it Pablo’s?"
Just saying that aloud made me sick inside. I know that they had been dating, but I didn't want to think of the possibility that she let him put a kid in her.
"No," she scoffed. I felt a weight lift off my chest. She turned to Riz, "it's his."
"That's your crotch goblin?"
"Excuse me?" Eva growled, glaring at me.
"My bad," I shrugged, trying to find a way around it without apologizing, "I just...I wouldn't have pictured the two of you together."
"Yeah," Riz said pointedly as his son calmed down in his arms, "we were. For a year. You got something to say, prospect?"
"Nope," I lied, shaking my head. I looked between the two of them, and I couldn't help but think of the last time I'd seen Eva. Fuck, we were babies then. That was six years ago. Now she was 23 and with a kid. But damn, having a kid did wonders to her body. She was still as thin as I'd ever remembered her, but now she'd gotten curvier, in all the right places, "Eva, can I talk to you?"
"No," she said, shaking her head. She turned to Riz, "is it okay if I leave Johnny with you? I have to get some shopping done for the bar today before I open."
"Yeah," he smiled, "I uh, I can bring him by the bar later?"
"You wanna bring our baby to the bar?" she laughed. His hopeful smile faded and was replaced with a look of confusion.
"So not the bar?"
"You'll figure it out, big guy." She laughed, going to Riz and took the toddler out of his hands, "mommy's gonna go shopping, but you get to spend time with daddy today."
"YAYYY!" the little boy yelled, “DADDY!”
"Prospect!"
I looked towards Bishop. He waved me over into templo. He and Che were standing there.
"Great news brother," Che smirked, handing me a kutte that said 'prospect' on it, "we're done vetting you. You're on your way to becoming a full-fledged Mayan."
"This have anything to do with Eva?"
"She gave us some details that were missing."
"Like what?"
"Like now we know why you're really named Coco," Bishop chuckled sending the young biker a pointed look, "Che make a note to keep the cereal hidden from this killer."
"Noted," he said with a saluted, “can’t believe you were nicknamed that because of a cereal…”
God damn it.
"All joking aside kid, we're gonna have a party tomorrow night for ya, so we're giving you a shopping list. Go get the shit for your party."
"It cool if I take the truck?" I asked.
Che nodded, handing me the keys and a stack of bills, "take Nevaeh with you. Pay for what the bar needs. We put her through the ringer over you."
"From what it sounded like, it wasn't the first time she's been through it because of you either," Bishop commented dryly, “so be good, kid.”
I nodded, and the two of them sent me back out, Che following me. I threw the kutte on and smiled. It felt nice to wear it.
"Nevaeh," Che called. She turned around, "Prospect here is doing some shopping for us. He's gonna take you along and we're gonna foot the bill for you tonight."
"It's not nec-"
"Nevaeh."
"Taza."
The two of them stared one another down for a second before Che's old lady came over and put a hand on either one of their shoulders, "you two are like brother and sister...even worse than his actual sister. Always bickering."
"Tell him I don't need the prospect."
"Taza is right though," she said, shaking her head, "let the boys foot the bill. It's the least they can do."
Eva sighed, "whatever. Come on Coco."
"And don't let him buy cereal," Che commented as we walked out, “GOT IT?”
"You fuckin tell everyone about that shit?" I growled as she followed me to the truck.
"I told them about your stutter too," she giggled, “so good luck hiding that.”
I stopped and turned around. She had a big grin on her face. "I don't have no fuckin stutter."
"I bet you still do," she said quietly, pushing my buttons and closing the gap between us. I could feel her body lightly pressed against mine, and the breath caught in my throat. She knew what she was doing as she bit her lip, "I bet I could get it out of you, too. Remember Johnny, I fucking know you."
"And I know you too," I growled, trying to keep my cool, "so don't fucking push that shit."
"Push what?" she asked sickeningly sweet, "I'm not the one that fucks with someone's shit then just up and leaves em."
I felt my nostrils flare, "you don't know shit."
"Twice you've left me, and broke my fucking heart," she growled, her own playfulness fading away, "I know all about it."
"Thought you weren't gonna talk to me," I said smugly, “Don’t a pretty bad job of not talking to me alone.”
"Well, it's obvious you won't let anything go," she huffed, "which was ironic because I was pretty fucking disposable to you."
"You know what, you're right. I don't wanna talk," I muttered, turning around, and heading to the truck. I got in, and she slid into the bucket seat right next to me. We drove to the store without saying anything, but as soon as we parked, she locked the doors, "what the hell?"
"We're going to sort this out, right now."
"The fuck are you talking about?"
"You wanted to talk before, and then we stopped...we're going to finish the conversation."
"There isn't shit to finish," I growled, feeling more angry at the fact that she had seemingly let it go during our drive, only to bring it up again now, "it's over."
"That day you left, I was fucking heartbroken," she all but yelled, "you left me with a god damned note and fucking dog tags, Johnny."
I felt my heart rising into my throat.
My fucking heart broke that day too. When I wrote that letter, I knew I was lying. I never expected to see her again. But then when I got out, and started working for Raul, he told me she was in Santo Padre...I couldn't fucking stay away. I moved south immediately.
I didn't have the fucking heart to face her. Then one day I saw her all cozied up to fucking Pablo. I knew she'd moved on. But it broke me that day.
"Fucking unbelievable," she growled, shaking her head at me, “are y-“
"Yeah well you fucking killed me when I came back and saw you fucking Pablo," I said as she opened the door. She stopped and turned to look at me, "yeah. The second I came back, I found out you were here. I told Raul I wanted to work down here with him...the fucking day I got here you were screwing Pablo at his place.”
"Johnn-"
"No," I yelled at her, "you wanna fuckin talk, how about that? But I guess once a whore, always a fucking whore, huh?"
Her face went from a range of sadness to pissed off.
And that's when I knew I fucked up.
She punched me square in the nose. I heard a crack and a stream of blood sprayed onto my lap. Cursing, I grabbed my nose, trying to stop the inevitable pain. I felt something hard hit the side of my face, and my dog tags hit the floor.
"Fuck you, you fucking asshole!"
"Fucking crazy bitch," I yelled after her as she slammed the truck door, “What the hell is wrong with you, Eva?”
Chapter 11
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Text
Here For You Part 2
Fandom: Chicago PD / One Chicago
Series: Here For You
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 (Final)
Character/s: Reader x Jay, 
Warning/s: none
Word Count: 1,407
Summary: Y/N is getting closer to Jay, and her due date, as she continues to try and navigate her new life in Chicago after her and her brother helped Intelligence with a murder trial.
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You were stood in your new apartment, paintbrush in hand as you surveyed the would be nursery. It had been slow going to decorate it, with your brother, Henry, pulling doubles to support you and you obviously out of work, but it was all coming together.  T-minus 6 weeks and counting, God you couldn’t wait to finally have this baby.
A lot had happened since you moved to Chicago, starting fresh after your ex had left you pregnant and alone, but after getting through a trial for a gang shooting your brother had witnessed, you felt ready for anything. 
“Ah crap,” you heard from the living room, followed by a loud clatter, turning to peer out the door to see Jay Halstead, crouched down with tools in hand attempting to put together the crib you’d purchased for the baby. Henry hadn’t had time to put it together and you couldn’t really get that low without getting stuck, so Jay had offered to come over to help out.
He’d done that a lot recently, brought you take out, taken you out for the evening, helped you move in and decorate your new apartment... Honestly with your past experience with men you’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for there to be some kind of catch, but Jay really did just seem to be this all around genuinely good guy. 
“Everything okay?” You asked, leaning against the door frame as you watched him flip through the instructions, shaking his head. 
“They’re not in English,” he replied in disbelief, staring back at the pile of wood that had just fallen apart. You let out a light chuckle and headed in as he held them up for you to take a look at.
“At least... there’s pictures?” You tried, angling your head to the side as you tried to make out what was going on on the pages in your hand. Jay stood up and brushed down his jeans, placing the box of screws he was holding on your new coffee table, which had mercifully been bought all in one peice. 
Most of your furniture was second hand, but you’d wanted new things for the baby, the best things, you’d made some bad decisions to get where you were, but you’d be damned if you let any of that affect your kid, so only the best it was. And apparently, the best was imported from Sweden.
“You know what, if I keep trying to do this I’m going to lose my mind, I’ll take a look at it with Henry when he gets back, sorry,” he said as you closed the booklet.
“Sorry? Jay you’ve gone above and beyond for me, and you really didn’t have to, you have absolutely nothing to apologise for,” you told him, putting a hand to your belly as you felt the baby move, “we owe you.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” Jay smiled, “I’m happy to do it.” He had no right to look at you like that, standing there, nearly 32 weeks pregnant, dressed baggy and scruffy clothes and bags under your eyes that let anyone know you hadn’t had a good night sleep in a very long time, but yet he still looked at you in a way that said that he couldn’t look away. 
You’d been getting much closer, too close for your protective older brother’s liking. He’d always been like that with boys, but after your last disasterous relationship he didn’t want you to get hurt again, especially since it wouldn’t just be you you had to think about anymore, but your baby too. 
So you’d tried to keep some kind of a distance, but damn it if he didn’t make it next to impossible, even though you had a suspicion he was trying to do the same. With every honest conversation, even late night, everything you learned about him and shared with him, you found yourself falling for him more and more, you couldn’t help it.
“Drink break?” He offered, heading into your kitchen annex and grabbing some glasses, knowing full well his way around. You took a seat by the counter, glad to be off your feet for a bit, aching from the time you’d spend painting the nursery. It wasn’t a perfect job, but you felt bad enough about letting Jay do everything that he was, so you were trying to do as much as you were able too.
Jay grabbed you a glass of water and himself a beer, was it really six already? You realised in shock, Jay had been over most of the day.
He opened his drink and went to take a sip, pausing just before it reached his mouth as he grinned at you. “What?” You asked slowly, lowering your own glass.
“You have a little paint-” he started, brushing the side of his nose with his finger as you mimicked his action to get the paint off your face.
“No, it’s a little-” he tried to direct you as you tried, and apparently failed, at wiping it off, laughing at the ridiculousness of how you must have looked right now.
“Got it?” You asked him but he shook his head, laughing right back as he put his drink down entirely.
“I got it,” he told you, wetting his thumb a little as you moved your hand away, letting him rub the paint off your nose.
He slowed down after a second, his thumb moving from the side of your nose to your cheek as he held your gaze, you suddenly getting very conscious of just how close to you he was. You could feel your cheeks start to heat up the longer his hand lingered on your face, your breath catching as his eyes darted to your lips, leaning in a little closer as his fingers went to your chin, tilting your head back lightly as he moved in for a kiss. 
You could feel his breath on yours lips he was so close, and although every fibre of your being was screaming at you not to, you put your hand out onto his chest, gently stopping him in his tracks and you forced yourself to break eye contact, ending the moment.
Jay took a step back and cleared his throat, “sorry, I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have done that,” he apologised, looking guiltily away from you.
You bit you lip as you watched him, trying to think of the right words to say. “Jay-”
“No, you’ve... you’ve been through a lot and I shouldn’t have done that, it’s not fair to you,” he rambled but you cut him off, realising what he meant, that he might have thought he would be taking advantage of you, but that wasn’t why you stopped him.
“It’s not that I didn’t want to- I’m just not... ready yet,” you fumbled, hoping he cot what you were trying to say. You’d been put through the ringer by your ex, and no matter what you felt for Jay, you needed space to focus on yourself and your baby, you were barely getting your life back on track without throwing a relationship into the mix. You just hoped he understood it wasn’t about him. He met your eyes finally as you continued to speak, relaxing a little as he took him your words. “I care about you Jay, a lot, like a lot, but I’m figuring out this new life as I go right now and I think I just need.. time.”
He nodded thoughtfully, taking your hand. “I get it, and I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I care about you too Y/N, a lot. I told you I’d be here for you and I meant it, I’m not going anywhere,” he said again as you blinked back tears, realising not for the first time how much your ex had broken down your trust. 
Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it? You didn’t want to let someone else into your heart like that just yet, not when you were still trying to put the pieces back together a bit at a time.
Jay cupped your face again, kissing you on the top of the head gently instead as you leaned into him, finding yourself believing every word he said. 
Not today, or tomorrow, but one day, you’d be ready, and you didn’t have much doubt that he’d be waiting when you were.
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wonderlustlucas · 4 years
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four - hwang hyunjin
⇢ prompt They say good things come in fours. Who? Couldn’t tell you, but they especially do during Christmas. Maybe that’s just Saint Nick. ⇢ pairing hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 11.7k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. mentions of alcohol & s e x. teenagerz being teenagerz. insane amount of fluff & stupidity. kind of ends w a smutty cliffhanger. ⇢ summary After suppressing how you felt about Hyunjin back in high school, you thought you were done going back on your feelings. Turns out, a little time apart, the spirit of Christmas, and an accidental nap is the perfect cocktail for falling in love with your best friend.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n hello & merry christmas! here is a gift for you all on this very merry day. also, thank you for 1,000 followers! that in itself is one of the best presents i could ask for. thank you for all your kindness & support on my blog & for following me in the first place! it truly means so much to me. i hope you enjoy reading! ♥︎
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big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Sorry! I just woke up
big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Whats wrong fool
big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Did u rlly think 12 texts were gonna wake me up?🤦🏻‍♂️ godt damn u on some WACK shit
You roll your eyes in time with each consecutive text that Hyunjin sends, waiting for the lock screen of your phone to blacken after reading them. He’s about as useless as pedals on a wheelchair, you think, ignoring the texts and forcing the device into the snug back pocket of your jeans before transferring the last two excessively packed grocery bags into the trunk of your car with an exhausted huff. Christ, if the bagging lady put one more item in those bags, she would be the one to blame for six cans of soup rolling about the parking lot.
The license plate rattles when you slam the trunk lid closed before hurrying around to the driver’s side and anxiously hopping inside to start blasting the heat. It is obnoxiously chilly for the first of September. Well, not really. Your body is just beginning to get used to the ungodly wrath of summer’s sweltering heat leaving you in a constant state of sweat and nausea for the past three months. Not that you’re complaining, of course. You nearly did somersaults of joy when the morning news reported a temperature of sixty-one degrees with some wind gusts and welcomed the beginning signs of autumn with open arms.
You would never admit to Mom who told yo uon the way out to change out of a tank top or at least wear a jacket, but yes— you are, in fact, cold. But now you have godsent warmth blowing from the vents and the seat warmer on its highest setting beginning to thaw away the goosebumps painted on your skin. Giving your arms one last rub, you lean up enough to retrieve your phone and open the conversation with Hyunjin.
[2:37 PM] YN: please. smell my balls
[2:37 PM] YN: nothings wrong btw. i was GOING to ask if u wanted any specific snacks for tn buttttt someone didn’t answer
[2:37 PM] YN: and excuse u i called too. i may be an idiot but im not stupid
[2:38 PM] YN: ik u would never hear a text when ur having wet dreams of yeji
You stop there with a smug smirk when the three dots on his side appear, knowing you’ve hit his funny bone with this one.
[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Bruh
[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇 :I’ve literally never have had a wet dream ab Yeji pls stop
You cannot fight your shit-eating grin, thumbs circling over the keyboard in thought as he apparently deletes whatever other text he was going to send when the three dots disappear.
[2:38 PM] YN: mmhmmmm
[2:38 PM] YN: because last time you slept over you weren’t whimpering her name in ur sleep
[2:38 PM] YN: sureeeee
You decide to end your teasing there and continue once you’re home. It is starting to get late, after all, and Mom will begin to worry that the creepy employee always in aisle sixteen has abducted you. Plus, you’re cruel and like to watch Hyunjin suffer. Switching the ringer off, you throw your phone into the cupholder and drastically lower the heat and turn off the seat warmer. It’s starting to feel like a sauna in here, and not in a fun way. Can’t understand how anyone enjoys hanging out in a sauna to begin with anyway, but to each their own, you guess.
In the five-minute drive it takes until you are pulling into the driveway, Hyunjin calls three times. He is incredibly peeved at your lack of a response to his distressed texts and still wound up from your text about Yeji. As if! You’re already a clown not realizing his ever-growing affections for you, but to think he had a crush on Yeji? You’re the whole damn circus!
By the time he calls a fifth time, now sat up on his elbow in bed and strumming an annoyed beat of his fingers at his thigh because he really just wants to yell at you for being the most annoying person alive (and maybe to hear your voice, too), you have brought in the last of the bags and look to Mom who has started to put the groceries away and expects you to half-heartedly do the same.
“It’s Hyunjin. He’s having an existential crisis because I haven’t answered his texts,” you explain to her, unenthusiastically holding your phone as it vibrates against your palm. Half of you wants her to ask to finish putting everything away first just so you can torture him even longer. Alas, such extravagant wishes are denied, because when it comes to Hyunjin, your parents would undoubtedly throw you under the bus just to keep that boy happy. And so, just like any other time, Mom’s undying love for Hyunjin has her dismissing you from the kitchen with a hearty laugh.
“Jesus Christ! What?” You hiss, halfway up the stairs when you tap to answer his call on the last ring.
“Wow! Look who finally decided to answer!” Hyunjin shouts back, the swoosh of his sheets once he finally falls back against his pillow again rustling all too loudly through the phone. “I was driving,” you spit, marching into your bedroom and collapsing against your bed, the same rustle of your blankets sounding loudly into his ear. “There’s a thing called the speaker, ___. Ever heard of it?” He retorts, evidently shutting you up and he knows he won this round if your silence is anything to go by.
“Whatever,” you groan, using all your toe strength to kick the sneakers off your feet by their soles, “what was so important that you couldn’t wait and had to call me five billion times?”
“I had a question. And you hurt my feelings.” Well, shit. You can practically hear and see his pout through the phone and your heart positively swells in your chest at how undeniably, unjustifiably cute he is. You sigh.
“I’m sorry for making fun of you about Yeji. I’m going to do it again but next time I promise I won’t pull the wet dream card,” you apologize frankly; because, in all honesty, it would be worse to say you are not going to do it again when you most certainly will. Bullying Hyunjin is fun, what can you say?
Hyunjin heaves an exasperated breath from his lungs because he knows there is no point in arguing with quite possibly the most sarcastic human he knows and that’s the best form of an apology he’s going to get. Whatever. He’ll make sure to wipe his morning snot and droll on your shirt in the morning. “Anyway,” he grumbles, in the background you hear Kkami bark from a few rooms over, “I was going to ask if you wanted to come over my place instead? I know your parents probably want to see me and stuff but mine are out of town for the night so we can sleep in my bed until like three without Mom waking us up to force feed breakfast.” You roll your eyes. Of course your parents want to see him.
“Plus, Mom just put that grey comforter I know you really like on my bed so we can cuddle all night and watch stuff on YouTube,” he quickly adds as a convincing afterthought. He’s really got his sales pitch going on this one. Truth is, you have only slept in his bed with that stupidly soft blanket twice last winter break, but it’s still sweet that he remembers how much you loved it (aka how quickly you fell asleep and how grumpy you were being woken up because it’s just that darn cozy). Either way, you would never pass up an opportunity to snuggle up with Hyunjin in the comfort of his own bed with his citrusy, floral scent on the pillows luring you to sleep.
“My Mom is going to be heartbroken, Hyunjin,” you tease, “but who cares. You had me sold at sleeping until three. Do you still want me to bring the snacks I got?”
“Oh, thank God. I love your Mom’s cooking but I haven’t left bed all day and I really want to keep it that way. And yes, please. I’ve been eating dry cereal for the past two hours.”
“Hyunjin, have you brushed your teeth yet?”
“No. Didn’t you just hear me? I said I’ve been in bed all day. Eating cereal. When would I have brushed my teeth?”
“You’ve officially taken breakfast in bed to a whole new level, Jin. I’ll see you in a few hours. Oh, and please, you have no concept of personal space so make sure you brush your teeth before I come over.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Love ya, bye,” Hyunjin promptly hangs up, probably eager to get back to binging whatever drama he’s watching before you lecture him about his hygiene again. Not that it matters, anyway; chances are, it went in one ear and right out the other and you’re going to drag him out of bed later to brush his teeth.
Damn. You didn’t even get the chance to say love you back. Not that it matters.
It doesn’t, you quickly shut down the pesky thought that keeps you up at night and force it back into the storage part of your brain labeled ‘Deal with Later,’ because, really, you’ll have to think about that later. It’s not that you don’t want to think about it yet… you just don’t have the time to stop and really figure out what your feelings toward Hyunjin actually are. Yeah. That’s it.
And now isn’t the time, you tell yourself, scooting up the mattress in order to bury your face in the pillows to suffocate the pounding throb in your head. Hyunjin is nothing special.
Well, no. That’s a lie. Everything about Hyunjin is special. Anyone with eyes, ears, even a nose can sense that. You had quickly found out just how wonderful he is when you met him freshman year of high school. At the time, he was everyone’s sweetheart by the first day, but it just so happened his eyes were all on you.
He was obviously adorable, and every class you had together he always made a point to talk to you and returned your sarcasm with an impressive level of expertise. So, when it came to him asking you to the first homecoming, the answer was yes without a second thought. But during the last slow dance of the night, with his hands gently holding your waist, he at last listened to his conscience and revealed that as much as he liked you, he truly did not want to date in high school. Or right then, at least. And honestly, you were glad; Hyunjin was quite possibly your favorite person you had met thus far, and you would have rather kept him as a friend than commit to a relationship the second month of school and risk losing him later down the road.
And boy, keep him as a friend you did. As it turned out, Hyunjin grew to be your truest, best friend in high school. Sure, you each had your own friend groups, but the two of you were the iconic pair everybody knew. But strictly platonic, despite the rumors and wishes that went around for the next four years. You like to think that neither of you ever developed feelings past what everyone feels toward their best friend— an innocent, wholesome sort of love.
But when had things changed? Hormones, as always, were definitely a big part of it. Hyunjin was always a cutie, but it wasn’t until he grew into his own skin and developed a newfound confidence did you start to see him differently. Until everyone saw him differently. Neither of you missed the way people stared him down, pupils dilating every time he ran his fingers through the black tufts of his hair, hearts aching for some sort of interaction. Or when you started attending parties, groups of girls would fling themselves at him in a blundering disarray, most of which he would turn down with a gentle dismissal that flew over their heads, too drunk to actually care.
But then there were times his dick made the decision for him, desperation and deprivation weighing in on him and you’d watch with a tight jaw as he’d leave the room with the pretty girl of the night skipping after him. You never realized it was only on those nights did you wind up in the back seat of Han Jisung’s car.
But even after the physical attraction sizzled out over time, things were not the same. Hyunjin wasn’t your hidden little treasure anymore. All eyes were set on him and it took more than a glass of water to swallow your jealousy. But why? Why were you so resentful all of a sudden?
It’s hard to share Hwang Hyunjin, you decided. Once established that you were his main hoe and he was yours, it became a significant burden watching others try and get in between. Not that they did it with a malicious attempt to separate you, but it still hurt. You’re selfish, and you admit it— Hyunjin, quite frankly, is the love of your life. Romantic or not, nothing could change your feelings toward him. It goes beyond his unfathomable beauty and spunky personality. Everything about him from his nose to his hands, to his distaste for onions and the way his face scrunches up when he lets out that giggle of his and even to the way he prefers to sleep against the wall but will force you to when you’re over so he can “protect you in case there’s a monster” all mount into this big, giant section of your heart set aside for Hyunjin.
So despite your efforts to ignore the pang of jealousy each time he would find a potential someone or the joy whenever he’d find his way back because “they kept wanting to hang out in the morning even though I said I don’t wake up before noon,” this Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart seems to only grow the longer you ignore it. Kind of like every medical condition out there: the longer you ignore it, the worse it gets. So, basically Hyunjin is your heart disease.
Yikes. Sounds a lot worse when you try putting it into words.
Well, he won’t be your heart defect for long if he keeps ruining those pearly whites of his by only brushing once just before bed, you chuckle to yourself, rolling to your side at the sudden lack of oxygen between your face and the pillow. There’s a fleeting moment without thought when you unconsciously reach for your phone to check for any notifications before the fattest revelation of them all falls from the ceiling and smacks you right upside the face.
Shit. Looks like you’ve gone right ahead and totally dissected each and every fiber of your feelings for Hyunjin.
Blinking up at the ceiling, the weight of your emotions isn’t as heavy as you expected them to be. Instead, it’s more of a breath of fresh air, as if you have finally accepted the way things fell instead of ignoring them. Your feelings for Hyunjin have always been there. It just took a little effort to get them out.
Nevertheless, it is going to be difficult hanging out with him in a few hours with your exposed emotions still needing to be processed. Especially when he will pull you to his side and keep you nestled there the entire night. Rubbing your temples, you realize it will take some serious self-control to put everything on the back burner and just enjoy the time spent with Hyunjin.
Sighing, you check the time on your phone again. 3:21 and a text from Hyunjin asking if you could bring green tea.
“Mom!” You yell, defeated. “You were right!”
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You used to think Hyunjin lived far away. Truthfully, he’s only fifteen minutes away if you go ten over the speed limit. But the only way to get to his house entails driving through the chaos of the mall and town center, which adds an extra ten minutes sitting through traffic no matter the time of day.
Now, Hyunjin’s college campus is two hours away. Well, technically five from you, since you’re almost three hours away in the opposite direction. So you’re lucky if you get to see him once a month with how hectic school becomes and how difficult it is trying to plan to come home the same weekend. Fortunately, it has worked out this semester. And while you should spend this time with your families, they know how much you crave one another’s company as the weeks drag on. The twenty-two minutes it takes getting to each other’s homes is totally worth it.
You expect Hyunjin to tell you to use the key hidden underneath the resin meditating frog statue in the front garden to unlock the front door when you text him you have arrived, but to your utmost surprise, he’s there, awake, to open the door for you.
“Stinky!” You yell, dropping your things on the floor to burry yourself in his embrace, standing on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck in order to really get the full experience of hugging your favorite giant. “Poopy!” He shouts in return, long arms winding tightly around your waist and even going so far as to lift you up a few inches. God. Hate when he does that.
“Why are you up? I thought I’d have to let myself in with you sleeping all your problems away,” you ask, smiling gratefully when he bends down to pick up your bag. “I realized Kkami hadn’t been out all day, so I came down to let him out and find actual food,” Hyunjin explains as he makes way into the kitchen, opening the back door to let said dog back inside. “Aw, poor thing,” you pout, squatting to scratch at Kkami’s neck when he zooms faster than the speed of light to you, “does that mean you brushed your teeth?”
“I did, actually,” Hyunjin snorts right back, scrunching his nose at you before turning away to open the fridge. Sitting on the floor with Kkami in your lap, you take the opportunity to finally get a good look at Hyunjin now that he’s distracted. And of course, he looks good. Really good. Last time you saw him he still was a brunette, a look he rocked during the spring and summer months. This is the first time you’ve seen the freshly dyed black hair in person. Even though he always looks handsome, something about Hyunjin with black hair completely changes his aura. Brings back memories of how badly you wanted him in high school. You shiver at the thought.
And, to top it all off, how he manages to stay in such disgustingly good shape despite his atrocious eating habits never ceases to amaze you. Like, come on. The boy eats worse than a raccoon seven days out of the week, lives off boba, works out maybe five times a month, dances in his free time and still keeps his body in tiptop shape. God, you hate him. His pediatrician probably hates him, too. You even go as far as to sniff the fries in your dining hall and you gain five pounds.
Even now, he looks unnecessarily regal in the baggy material of his sweatpants and flannel. And the warmth of his kitchen’s ambient lighting does nothing to suppress the heavy thumping of your heart. So casual is his dress, yet how immaculate he looks rummaging the cabinets for a snack.
“Are you hungry?” He asks, the familiar softness of his voice shaking you from your daze as he closes the refrigerator door after his unsuccessful search. Here’s the thing: you really aren’t hungry, but Hyunjin clearly is, so if you say no then all he will be thinking about is food until you decide that you are hungry. “Yeah,” is what you say, nudging Kkami off your crossed legs to stand, “I brought green tea and a few snacks, but we could order Chinese food or something. The place near Dunkin’ and the gas station makes bubble tea now, too.”
Hyunjin’s brows shoot up, flashing his boxy smile. “Is it good?”
“I mean, I’ve only had their pork dumplings and mango tea before, and it was pretty good. I don’t know about their noodles or anything, though,” you shrug, moving to stand beside him at the kitchen island. Distracted by Kkami trying to jump onto the sofa in the living room, you don’t look to Hyunjin until the poor dog is successful in doing so. Startled to find him already gazing down at you, your heart truly is not prepared for him to go right ahead and wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. Totally not freaking out or trying to overthink his need to constantly cling, you justify his actions by quickly recalling the time he said, “My head is too godtdamn big for my godtdamn body.” More like his head is too heavy because instead of a brain it’s just a chunk of cement up there. He just needs to rest his head sometimes.
Yeah.
“Mm, I don’t know,” Hyunjin hums, swaying your body with his to an unheard tune. By now, any coherent thought has dissipated into thin air and all you can do is melt against him. “Why?” You manage.
“’Cus if we order anything that means I’ll have to get up and get it.”
“Oh my God, Hyunjin, really?” You laugh. Your hands naturally glide to where his are linked at your stomach, pressing to interlock your fingers overtop his. “If that’s the only reason for your uncertainty than I could always come get it, idiot.”
“No! It’s okay,” Hyunjin says, jumping back before you can even process it, “I’m not that hungry anyway.”
“Ohhh ‘kay,” you laugh breathlessly, whiplashed by the whole thing. Good thing you aren’t hungry, because when was the last time Hyunjin turned down food? Blinking at him precariously, he doesn’t seem to notice until one too many seconds of silence pass by.
“C’mon,” he demands excitedly, jumping back into reality, “my roommate told me to watch this anime called Soul Eater but I wanted to watch it with you.” Once again, before anything can even register past every single That Was Cute™ alarm ringing in your brain, Hyunjin is grabbing your bag and reaching for your hand, leading you out of the kitchen and upstairs.
You and Hyunjin binge aforementioned anime until he falls asleep first around 2 AM, only stopping to order food an hour in (he’s an indecisive man indeed), to get up to retrieve it, and to actually eat while catching up. For most of the night, you are able to forget the way his heartbeat against your back mirrored your own in the kitchen. But then, a little while after you fall asleep yourself, Hyunjin unconsciously shifts closer and you spend another hour blinking at his relaxed hand twitching against your abdomen, trying to keep the hurricane inside your heart at bay.
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You can’t make it home October. Hyunjin texted you to let you know he was going to be the third weekend in, and you tried desperately to manage your time in order to make it work. But one group project in chem lead to another paper in psych and before you knew it, your roommate was listening to you sob over a boy and curse out your classes.
September left you emotionally wrecked, to be totally honest. You hate Hyunjin and you hate the way he makes you feel and you especially hate how realizing you have a crush on him makes you unsure if everything he does is his way of hinting he feels the same or if he’s always been this touchy and you are just now recognizing it. So, missing a month of seeing your favorite human being essentially means missing another day of trying to decipher which actions of his go in the Friend list, and which go in the Questionable list. And that, my friend, is unacceptable.
You absolutely cannot not go home this month. November is the calm before the storm (the storm being exams looming the second week of December), and while it would be beneficial maybe staying on campus to continue preparing, you tell yourself going home will be just as helpful. Mental breaks, and stuff. Totally not just to see Hyunjin.
Either way, Hyunjin asks you if you would join him on the seventeenth to go to his second cousin’s christening and you absolutely cannot say no when you know how bored Hyunjin gets at family events when they aren’t for him. And so, fast forward to the third Sunday of November and you are ready to pass out ten minutes after entering the church.
“I’m so happy for you two! I always knew you would last into college,” one of Hyunjin’s aunts exclaims, pinching your cheeks but the only pinch you feel is that of your heart.
Clearly she is misinformed, or just prone to jumping to conclusions but yet again, you can’t really blame her with how couple-y you and Hyunjin are. Past the single tunnel vision of your gaze, you watch her smile falter when Hyunjin goes rigid beside you and oh my God this is the most embarrassing moment of my life, his whole family thinks we’re dating and here we are still stuck in each other’s friendz—
“I’m glad you think so, imo,” Hyunjin suddenly picks up, sneaking an arm around to rest his hand on your hip, tugging you close, “I don’t know what I’ll do if she ever decides to leave me.”
It’s nice to think that he means it, to imagine that you are here not as a tag-along but to join him in a family ceremony because you are part of the family. The thought turns your blood to sugar and everything surrounding you falls apart; you listen to the rest of their conversation without processing it, the precise detailing in the marble pillars blurs into a mass of white, and you still feel his strong hold on the curve of your waist yet you are lost in the swam of possibilities.
How lovely it would be to live up to her assumption. To ‘last into college’ as a couple, not as best friends. To be able to call him yours even when you’re not together, to come home and kiss his lips, to sleep in his bed and it mean more than the laziness of blowing up the air mattress. At some point, he leads you into the third pew to sit beside his parents, and when you greet them with a hug all you can think about is them viewing you as more than their son’s friend.
God, you hate it.
You’re not as religious as Hyunjin and his family. But for the first time in years, you find yourself looking to the crucifix during the service and praying to whoever is up there to give you some strength and patience, because Lord do you need it.
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Hyunjin is a funny guy.
Or so he thinks.
It’s not that he isn’t funny. It’s just— compared to your friends Minho or Changbin, he isn’t at the top of the list. When you think of Hyunjin, the first words that pop up are soft, loud, and dramatic.
It’s not that he isn’t funny. He’s just weird.
Insanely, ridiculously weird. For example, the time he called Jeongin a vitamin. Or the time he slapped half a bottle of sunscreen on his face. Or his random bouts of dancing at inappropriate moments. Just to name a few.
After the Baptism, Hyunjin acted like nothing happened. Didn’t even bring it up. Not even a joke. After the ceremony, you joined his family for a luncheon, which just involved the two of you being weird and making peculiar dancing videos on SnapChat with the swirly filter and complaining about school for a few hours until he drove you home. Obviously you stopped for food again on the way.
But that was it. Things went on as normal, and you returned to campus later that night and forced the whole experience to the back of your brain. It was officially grind season, and grind season meant studying for exams. No parties. No boys. And certainly no Hyunjin.
You both were home for winter break in the blink of an eye. And in normal Hyunjin style, he sort of vanished for the first week. Probably catching up on his strict sleeping schedule, you presumed, and accepted the fact that it was going to be a few days before you saw or even heard from him. The only anticipation you felt was wanting to give him his Christmas gift.
After what seems like an eternity away from Hyunjin, you get out of the shower on this fine Saturday before Christmas to find a slew of texts from him.
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Aloha mamacita
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: How do u feel about getting froyo tn
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can get fat and then u can sleepover aaaand
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can stare at the wall for a few hours
[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: And
[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: *cough*
[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Exchange Jesus gifts
See? Weird. Who wants froyo when it’s thirty degrees out?
[5:53 PM] YN: “aloha mamacita”
[5:53 PM] YN: uHmmmMMM
[5:53 PM] YN: im down mr president
[5:54 PM] YN: why do u want ice cream in winter tho. don’t u want like
[5:54 PM] YN: hot chocolate or seomthing
Obviously not. Two hours later, Hyunjin arrives to pick you up for froyo despite all your efforts in convincing him maybe you could take the train to the city and watch a light show, or simply drive around and swoon over the rich people houses and their Christmas decorations. He didn’t budge. This leads you to your second question of the day: why is it that when you threw on sweats for the occasion you called yourself a hag, but upon entering Hyunjin’s car you make a mental note of how hot he looks when he’s wearing the same exact thing? You groan at the thought. It’s because it’s Hyunjin, of course.
“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” he greets, flicking your forehead once you settle into the seat of his Subaru WRX because he’s a hotshot and likes to flex that he can drive a manual. Not really— the car is absolute garbage by now, having been his Dad’s old car (his Dad likes to flex too, apparently). However, Hyunjin takes care of it enough for it to seem five years old instead of ten, and, either way, watching him work the stick shift is unexplainably hot.
You swat his hand away. “Drive, bitch,” you huff, twisting to buckle yourself in. Once he’s reversed out of your driveway, you glance back to find him fighting against a devilish smirk.
“So,” you start once he has navigated out of your neighborhood. His brow twitches up. “Are you taking Hawaiian and French at school? You’ve been throwing quite a lot of languages at me recently.” Hyunjin shoots you an unamused look. You return it with a wrinkle of your nose.
“Anyway,” he ignores your teasing, pausing to switch gears for whatever reason so he can make it through a yellow light, “how did your exams go?”
“Well, you know…” You trail off, looking to your window. It feels a lot later than eight o’clock. With it getting dark so early in the evening nowadays, it feels as if nighttime is always following you.
“You know… what?” Hyunjin interrupts your daze, concern laced in his voice. “They were fine. I passed everything, I’m just worried about my major,” you explain sadly, barely glancing at him before you are turning back to the window to stare at the moon. Must be nice being a moon. Just get to hang out in the sky watching everyone and being watched.
“I mean, if you want to switch, now’s the time. Better do it now before the second semester,” Hyunjin advises, wise as always. Not really, but he’s right. “What are you thinking of going into?”
Yikes. He’s going to kill you.
“Nursing,” you blurt.
“Oh my Lanta, ___, are you serious?” He groans, stopping at a convenient red light presenting the perfect opportunity for him to smack his forehead on the wheel. Dramatic. “How are you gonna manage that? You’ll practically be two years behind everyone else!”
“I know,” you sigh, throwing your head back on the headrest, “that’s the problem. Bio just isn’t doing it for me. I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life in a lab watching mitosis. I need something more rewarding, so theoretically nursing is a perfect start. I don’t know, though.”
“Why don’t you switch to interior design or something? We could get our own HGTV show, ___,” he says, but you don’t meet his gaze when he glances over because beneath his words, you can sense some serious hopefulness. Interior design would be cool, but you’ve never considered that as a career choice. You once helped your parents pick out everything when they redid a bathroom at home and that turned out great, but as a major?
“I don’t know, man. I’ll have to talk to my counselor about it, I guess,” you shrug, pulling the hood of your sweatshirt over your head and tightening the drawstrings until the material covers your eyes, “why can’t you audition to be a K-pop star or something? I could be your manager. Heck, even your makeup artist. I’ve done your makeup before, remember?”
Hyunjin laughs, loud, and the sound sinks deep into your heart and makes you feel warm all over. Stress? Gone.
For the next few minutes or so, the ride is comfortably quiet. At some point, he turns on the radio and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” floods your brain and reminds you to look forward to exchanging Christmas gifts later. God, you hope he likes it. You really went out on the sentimental gifts this year.
Hood shielding your vision, you jump when his large hand suddenly comes to grab the top of your head, squeezing hard and you imagine he’s trying to press some hopefulness into your brain. “Hand on the penis stick, Hwang,” you bark, blindly reaching for his own head across the way and pulling his ear when you do so. Good Lord, you hope no one can see into the car because… what.
Hyunjin lets out a giggle this time, reaching to pull you into a headlock and even though he’s got your head shoved up against his sturdy chest and goes on to give you a noogie, you’re stuck being all high and loopy on the sound of his happiness. And hey, it’s nice to know you’re the cause of it.
“We’re literally parked, idiot. If you had your hood down you would’ve realized,” Hyunjin snickers, releasing you after watching you struggle for a few seconds. Jerking away from him, you swiftly pull back your hood. “Oh,” you laugh, reading the flashy Yogo Factory sign above the building in front of you, “you could’ve just told me instead of watching me bask in misery.”
Hyunjin suitably ignores your moaning and groaning by getting out of the car and standing in front of the car, illuminated by the headlights. Why? Why must he look so scrumptious in his black hoodie and grey sweatpants and four-year-old white Nike sneakers? He has no gosh darn right!
After fixing the mess he made of your hair, you at last join him outside the car, shooting him another glare and moving ahead of him to open the shop’s door without waiting for him. “From now on, we have to start texting each other what we’re wearing before we go out, ‘cus this looks a little ri-donk-ulous,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear as you make your way to the cup selection, trying to ignore all the stares you— no, he is getting along the way.
“What do you mean?” You ask, plucking two medium sized cups up before turning to look at him. Then you look down at yourself. Oh. Looks like you’re both wearing the hoodie from junior spirit week. “Nice.” Just Couple Things™!
Back to Hyunjin being weird— why did he drag you all the way out here just to get a cup of chocolate frozen yogurt and maybe half a scoop of peanut butter chips?
Meanwhile, he watches in absolute disgust as you blow through your own dessert. Vanilla yogurt with probably every topping offered because you physically cannot make a decision, especially when they have chunks of cookie dough up there.
“So,” Hyunjin starts, trying not to look you in the eye considering you look like a goblin shoveling globs of diabetes down your throat, “have you talked to Jisung recently?”
You choke on a Fruity Pebble at his inquiry, prompting him to reach across the table and slap your back a few times until your esophagus is cleared. “Ugh,” clearing your throat one last time, you take a few sips of water while shooting him a glare. Jisung? Really? “How dense are you?” You hiss unintentionally.
Hyunjin raises his hands in defense. “Just a question.”
Yeah, just a question. Dumbass. “I mean,” you laugh awkwardly, “not really. We have a streak on Snap and sometimes we’ll talk occasionally but I don’t text him every day or anything. How about you?”
He shrugs, concentrating instead on stirring his yogurt into a goopy mess. “Eh. We still use our group chat a lot but that’s it. He’s too busy making music in Malaysia.”
You chuckle at this, picking out the boba from your own cup and leaving the rest now that it has started to look like something sold at the Chum Bucket. “That sucks,” you offer, not the best at giving him consolidation, you opt for linking your feet around his own in some weird act of intimacy, “isn’t he coming home for the holidays, though? I’m sure you can all have a reunion soon.”
“Yeah, he is,” Hyunjin hums, suddenly too focused on trying to escape your trap under the table. Annoyed Hyunjin is cute. “Stoooop,” he whines, kicking at your shins before breaking into boisterous laughter at your relentlessness, “I will not hesitate to throw this cup at your face.”
“Yeah, right,” you scoff, “I’d like to see you try.”
At this, Hyunjin drops his stupidly long arms beneath the table and easily captures your foot by the ankle, pulling hard enough for you to slip down your side of the booth. “Hyunjin!” You shriek, panicking slightly at your sweaty hand’s insecure grip against the leather. You’re going to fall. You’re going to fall flat on your ass underneath a table at a frozen yogurt place because the boy you like pulled your foot too hard. Fantastic. Ignoring you, he starts to wiggle your shoe off your foot no matter how hard you try to squirm out of his relentless grip. “Stop trying to eat my toes in the middle of Yogo!”
Finally, he releases your foot, letting it fall limp against his thigh.
“God,” you huff, breathless as you squirm back up your seat, cheeks burning ferociously, “you are such an ass.”
Behind the playful smirk he fails to hide, something darker glints in Hyunjin’s eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat. Then, “We should go.” The suggestion makes the heat of your blush scorch even hotter down your neck and you instinctively turn away, only to find the customers on the other side of the shop watching you with just as perturbed looks. Fantastic, part two.
“Okie,” you squeak out, blinking after him in complete and total bewilderment as to what just happened when he gets up to throw his trash away. Whatever. Following after him, you too toss your cup out before quickly finding your hand engulfed by his larger one as he leads you back outside, the sudden sharpness of the cold air bringing tears to your eyes. You desperately want to ask him what that was about, or why he’s acting so sneaky, but you stay silent, too afraid your voice will come out shaky and vulnerable. Instead, you let him tug you into his side and try to keep up with him no matter how badly your knees threaten to buckle with each glance you sneak up at him.
It’s silent when you enter the car, watching warily as he reverses out of the parking spot and maneuvers through the lot. Your heart rate seemingly cannot slow itself down, adrenaline taking the place of oxygen the longer you stare at him, at the concentrated scrunch to his face, at the cute tip of his button nose and at the swell of his lips and you distantly wonder what would happen if you pulled him into a kiss at the next red light.
In the midst of your daydream Hyunjin clears his throat, bringing you back to reality and you realize with a startle that he has caught you. Jesus Christ! What has gotten into you? You mentally smack yourself upside the head, instantly turning away from his cocky little gaze and staring straight ahead in search of something else to focus on. “___,” he sing-songs, slow and sensual and entirely demolishing the walls you have built around yourself. It is at this red light you wish to simply open the door and run.
“Yes?” You manage, wincing at how small your voice sounds and while looking out his window instead of into his eyes, you notice him grip the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. The tension is insurmountable, weighing in heavily on your chest and you desperately wish to arrive home, even though that means having to survive the next twelve hours with him. Anything is better than the small confines of his car.
“What do you want to do when we get home?” He asks, cool as a cucumber. You pale. It is a dangerous question and you do not know if he realizes that. “Um,” you cough, scooting to sit up straight, “whatever you want.” You whisper the last part, genuinely petrified because you have absolutely no idea if your brain is twisting everything to make it seem like Hyunjin is flirting or if things are totally normal. No idea.
“Hm,” he offers, tilting his head in thought, “we shall see.”
Yeah. We shall.
The rest of the ride is quiet, comfortably or uncomfortably you cannot say because you are too busy trying to calm the Spongebob burning office scene occurring inside your own head, hopelessly telling yourself that everything is fine, Hyunjin’s fine, you’re fine. Just pretend like nothing happened, you tell yourself when Hyunjin pulls into his driveway with practiced ease. “Ugh,” he groans after retrieving your bag from the back seat, and you watch with a raised brow as he skips up to his porch, yelling, “I have to pee!”
“Begone with you, piss boy,” you tease, holding the screen door open for him as he struggles to unlock the storm door and pulling on one of his hoodie’s drawstrings just to annoy him. “Stop,” he growls, low and playful but nevertheless sending a swarm of butterflies to your tummy. You ignore him. Finally unlocking the door, Hyunjin shoves the keys into his pocket and seizes your wrist, yanking your arm down with enough force to nearly topple you into him. “Why are you being so annoying tonight?” He frowns at you, nose and brows scrunched in irritation and it is only because of his proximity do you finally soften up.
“Sorry,” you pout back, bringing your other hand up to boop his nose, “I just missed ya.”
“Ew,” he snorts, stepping past the threshold and kicking off his shoes. You follow suit, closing the door behind you and clicking the lock into place as Kkami comes sprinting over. “B-R-B,” Hyunjin announces, presumably bouncing away to the bathroom.
“Oh, boy,” you huff, squatting to pick up the fluffy little dog and hugging him close to your chest, “your dad is making my life very difficult.” Pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, you put Kkami back down and grab your bag before heading upstairs, knowing Hyunjin is going to take his grand old time and probably take a shit while he’s at it. Plus, you’re impatient and dying to take your bra off.
Aside from what light his Gudetama nightlight offers, Hyunjin’s room is ultimately left dark. Here’s the thing: he used to have a lamp on his dresser, but then he took it with him to college and only brings it home for summer because he’s lazy and sleeps the majority of the time he’s home, anyway. Instead, he put up his little remote-controlled Christmas tree in addition to the lava lamp he has beside his bed. Perfect. For Hyunjin, at least.
Switching both of these on, their subtle glow offers just enough to keep you from banging your toe against something. It’s happened one too many times. Hyunjin’s room isn’t messy— he really isn’t a messy person to begin with, but he will reorganize the furniture in his room fifty times a year and you never know where the crooked leg to his bedside table will be to ambush your pinky toe.
Setting your bag onto his bed, you excitedly fumble past all your layers and unclasp your bra, maneuvering out of it with a delighted exhale just as Hyunjin begins his ascent up the stairs, steps creaking loudly under his heavy trudging. “I’m an idiot,” he grumbles, leaning against the doorframe to catch his breath.
You don’t bother to look at him, opting to quickly retort instead, “We been knew.”
“Ugh,” Hyunjin groans, exasperated, and you finally turn to him after successfully jamming aforementioned undergarment into your bag, “anyways. I don’t know why I didn’t just come up here, because I have to wash my face anyway and you do too and now we’re both going to have to share a sink.”
“Aw,” you coo, tone dripping with sarcasm as you pat his arm, “poor baby has to share the bathroom.”
“I’m actually going to strangle you,” he sighs, nevertheless following after you into the bathroom.
“Kinky.”
Hyunjin glares, unamused as he opens a drawer for his pink bow hairband and your striped pink and blue one that he bought for you, but keeps here for sleepovers. Yeah. He throws it to your face. “Sorry,” you offer, pulling the soft headband up to hold your hair back, “I’ll try to stop. I’m just so used to annoying you.”
“Clearly,” he scoffs, flashing his stupidly cute teasing smile and in your head, you imagine raising a white flag in surrender— he’s got you, he’s won, it’s over. Time to call it quits and head home. Evidently shut up (for now), you offer him a roll of your eyes before turning on the sink to wet your hands before pumping out some of his scrumptious watermelon face wash. Maybe if you scrub hard enough, you’ll manage to rinse away all the overwhelming thoughts of the night, too.
Barefaced Hyunjin is immaculate. Well, Hyunjin is immaculate twenty-four hours out of the day, but barefaced, freshly washed, hair messy, ready for bed Hyunjin is immaculate, and you are one of the few people lucky enough to see this eighth wonder of the world as often as you do.
Now, maybe it has something to do with the unexpected ambiance the light from his laptop, Christmas lights, and lava lamp have created together that makes him look so unfairly beautiful at this given moment. Or, you’re just insanely pussywhipped and looking for an excuse. You try not to think about it.
“Why are you so squirmy tonight?” He asks, frustrated enough to interrupt Kermit singing ‘Shawty I don’t mind’ playing from his laptop. “I’m not,” you defend, a weak argument indeed, given that you have just finished adjusting your position beside him for the umpteenth time.
“I mean, four female Ghostbusters? The feminists are taking over! I’m an ad—”
“___, you’ve touched my dick like four times. Don’t try and tell me you’re not squirmy. What’s wrong?” Hyunjin interrupts a second Vine, and even goes on to talk over ‘I have the power of God and anime on my side!’ like a lunatic. Oh Christ, you have? Surely you would have noticed. “Sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed as you bury your face into the curve of his pectoral and instinctively move your leg settled between his away, “I’m just hot, to be honest.” Technically, it is not a lie. Hyunjin’s family definitely keeps their thermostat at a higher temperature than yours and you always manage to sweat your ass off every time you come over. This time, however, you are certain it has more to do with the assault your heart is facing rather than your sweat glands.
At the sound of his tap against the spacebar to pause the video, you wordlessly and reluctantly sit up from your comfortable spot beside him in order to rid yourself of your heavy sweatshirt. Now, here lies the problem. Sweatshirt: off. Nipples: out. Realistically, Hyunjin has seen your boobs a number of times over the past few years, and even if he hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. But right now, your heart is on the line, you’re embarrassed and you’re trying to play it extremely safe.
You toss the hoodie to the floor and nestle right back where you were anyway, slinging your right arm over his torso and ignoring his sharp intake of breath when you snuggle closer. “Better?” He asks, voice strained and it literally makes you nauseous. “Yep.”
He resumes the video. You had started early in the night watching Pom Poko, which unsurprisingly ended with the two of you crying at the bittersweet ending, then moved to TikTok compilations on YouTube to cheer up before moving on from them and onto the classic Vine compilations. You paid good attention for the most part, chuckling along with him to ‘What up, I’m Jared, I’m nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read,’ ‘Bruh chill, I don’t know why you in a big time rush,’ and all the other absolute comedic masterpieces. But after the fourth or fifth video of the same six second clips with an occasional rare one, you began to grow bored and decided to do what you do best: admire Hyunjin.
Sure, ‘Come get yo juice!’ followed by the loud smash of the oven made you smile, but you found the flashing lights casting shadows beneath Hyunjin’s eyes and lips much more fascinating. Of course, this is not the first time you have been held so close to him. But it is, however, all too easy to get lost in the sight of him and you’ve noticed recently that you are in desperate need of a map. Whether it’s due to your time away from him or simply an appreciation for untouched beauty you do not know.
Even now, your gaze flickers to his laptop once you hear ‘Get to Del Taco,’ but having already watched it five thousand times you tilt your head upward to catch Hyunjin’s silent giggle at ‘free-sha-voca-do.’ It’s a vicious cycle, really, going back and forth between wanting to simply enjoy the night and realizing enjoying the night lies totally in Hyunjin’s presence. And so, you continue to fall into this trap each time until you pay no mind to the videos at all, basking in the brilliance of Hyunjin’s joyous smile and the warmth his happiness makes you feel. It is this thought that slowly tugs you to sleep, a fight to keep your heavy eyelids open lost until finally, you give in to the comfort and allow yourself to drift off to the sound of ‘Step the fuck up, Kyle.’
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You think you are dreaming.
You think.
“___,” the softness of Hyunjin’s voice at the crown of your head eases you from the clutches of sleep and you stretch your locked limbs before curling further into his side. “We didn’t open presents.” Even though you can’t see him, you can hear his pout, and you realize you must be awake to hear the disappointed words caught sluggishly between his lips so vividly. You hum, hesitant to open your eyes because you really want to go back to sleep. Just for a little while. And so, you ask, “What time is it?”
“Just past two,” he whispers.
You hum again, trying to formulate a sensible sentence in the parts of your brain still asleep, “We can… wake up at four. And open gifts. Okay?”
“Okay, weirdo,” Hyunjin chuckles to himself, sliding lower down the mattress after shutting his laptop.
You think you are dreaming.
You think.
You can’t remember ever falling asleep facing each other. But yet again, your brain is clouded beyond capability and now, you know for certain you are dreaming. Hyunjin never faces you.
Blinking slowly, it takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust to the impenetrable darkness and you struggle to make out the features of Hyunjin’s face. You know you are dreaming, and so you tug him closer, throwing a leg over his thigh and an arm over his waist. Even in your sleep, you feel the sadness pricking at your heart, for even it knows this is only what dreams are made of. You like to make the best of it.
“You know I love you, Jinnie, right?” Your voice comes out funny, drawn out and mumbled like your tongue is numb and you fight the urge to feel for yourself.
“Of course I do. I love you too.” His reply surprises you. You thought he was asleep and, either way, hearing such fond words from him puts your heart at ease. He must be misunderstood.
“No. I mean like… I like you, love you. Like I want to kiss you… kiss you good morning and before bed love you. Send you hearts and take stupid couple pics and… go on dumb dates love you. You know?” Your words feel garbled and incomprehensible the longer you go on, trying to express how you feel when nothing is real proving to be increasingly difficult. God, if only you could do it when things are real.
You start to feel yourself slipping as he mutters a reply, mind in free fall and fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s whispering and you can’t hear him but you are too tired and helpless to wake yourself up to hear it. No, too lost in the next dream to go back. You can’t tell what is real and what isn’t. Christ, were you awake? You can’t tell. All you know is that you are warm, so, so warm and letting sleep take over you once more is the best answer to all your questions.
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Hyunjin always says he hates waking people up. Because he’s normally the one needing to be awoken, whenever the roles are swapped he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.
This time, however, he takes it upon himself to repeatedly smack your face with his pillow. Not a fun experience when it’s coming from someone who fails to recognize his own strength. “Jesus, fuck! Okay!” You hiss, the cloud of sleep abruptly ripped away from you with the slap of his pillow against your skin. Arms raised defensively in front of you, you catch his next swing and tear the pillow out of his grasp to shield yourself all before you have even opened your eyes. When you do so, with the blatant intention just to find where he is and hurl the pillow at him, you are met with the harsh light from his ceiling fan and have to squint past the stinging white light to see his shit-eating grin.
“Was that necessary?” You groan, undeniably annoyed and wanting to glare at him more but needing to rub the ache out of your eyes. “Yes,” is all he says, reaching for your bag and catapulting it to you. He is incredibly lucky you are quick enough to catch it before it thumps against your head. What has gotten into him? Did he eat an entire bag of Pixy Stix while you were asleep? You watch, still dazed from sleep and reeling from the whole pillow smacking attack, as he flings open his closet door and turns back around with two neatly wrapped boxes. You squint to make out the dancing Santa T-rex wrapping paper.
“Oh,” you chirp, understanding, and you unzip your bag to retrieve the large box taking up the majority of space, “thanks for waking me up. I’m surprised you remembered. Did you stay up?”
A rosy blush burns its way across his cheekbones. Odd. “I, um— yeah. No, actually,” he stutters, really odd, given he was bouncing off the walls not even thirty seconds ago, “I set an alarm. You made me sleepy.” Hyunjin sits beside you once you have scooted over, leaning against the wall and crossing his long ass legs. He keeps his eyes trained on the boxes in his hands. “Oh,” you hum, looking to your own gift and suddenly wishing for the mattress to swallow you up, “sorry. I haven’t gotten as much sleep as you on break so far.”
“I don’t think anyone ever has,” he jokes and you finally look to him, sharing a cheeky smile before he gets all shy again, tongue darting out to wet his lips, “um, Merry Christmas, ___.”
It’s a simple phrase, but it makes your heart swell. “Merry Christmas to you too, Hyunjin.” Leaning over, you wrap your arms around his shoulders in an awkward side hug, but still end up feeling all drunk and loopy on love when he eagerly returns the gesture, arms curling around you.
“Okay,” you huff, sitting back, “me first.” You dramatically hold your gift out to him, jittery and nervous all over. Buying for Hyunjin is always hard. He’s just so easy to please, but when you want to do more than just please him it’s a constant battle trying to decide how far out you are going to go for him each year.
You watch impatiently as he tears the wrapping paper open first, and then finally lifts the flaps of the box up. “Aw,” he whimpers, pulling out the quokka plushie and attached certificate, “you adopted a quokka for me?”
You grin when he hugs the soft stuffed animal to his chest, the weight on your shoulders partly lifted from his positive reaction. He reaches back into the box, brow scrunched in thought as he regards the framed picture. “The First Day…?” Hyunjin asks, perplexed as he reads the title above the constellation poster. You scoot closer, leaning over to look it over once more. “This was the constellation of stars on our first day of freshman year. The day we first met.”
“Oh,” Hyunjin sniffs, “that’s really awesome, ___. Thank you. This is coming with me to school.” At this, he hugs you again, probably to hide the tears you know are threatening to spill because Hyunjin is Baby and cries every year. “Anything for my favorite fake Aussie,” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder as he reads through the quokka adoption letter.
“Okay! Your turn!” He exclaims, setting his gifts back into the box and passing you the smaller one of his. He catches your curious glance to the second one he keeps by his side. “We have to open this one together.”
“Christ, okay. Looks like I’m gonna be crying tonight, too,” you sigh sadly. “Ooh,” jumping ahead of yourself, you wiggle your eyebrows at the white box before you, “Hyunjin if you bought me a Fitbit… I swear to God. How many times have I said I am not working out with you?” However, once you finish tearing open the wrapping paper you find it is not, in fact, a Fitbit.
“It’s not a Fitbit, idiot,” Hyunjin scoffs a second too late, waiting for you to slip the lid off the box. “They’re bond touch bracelets.”
“Explain,” you murmur, enamored but confused at the two little house arrest looking bracelets.
“So basically, we each wear one,” Hyunjin starts, taking one of the bracelets out and a burst of color blooms across its small screen at the motion, “and if you touch it, mine vibrates and I ‘feel’ your touch.” As he explains, he buckles it around your wrist, twisting it so it lies correctly. You silently take the second one and help it on him, brain too caught up to actually say anything.
“Try it,” Hyunjin whispers, suppressing his excitement.
You gingerly bring a finger to the little screen, tapping it once, twice. Nothing happens. Frowning, you try again, tapping and holding, then a second time, and finally— a strip of pink light appears and the bracelet gently vibrates as you tap and hold a random pattern. In response, the bracelet on Hyunjin’s wrist lights up blue, buzzing in the same pattern.
“Oh, Hyunjin,” you sniffle, fighting back your own tears because you refuse to let yourself ugly cry in front of him, “this is amazing. Now I can annoy you year-round. Thank you so, so much. I love you so much.” He hums, pulling you close when you turn to give him a proper hug. To your utmost surprise, however, instead of letting go he curls one fist into your side and helps swing your legs over to straddle his lap. “Oh.”
“___,” Hyunjin sighs thoughtfully, fingers playing with the sleeves of your tee, “I love you, too.”
You nearly spit up your coffee. If you were drinking coffee. Instead, you’re left with a dry mouth and a slack jaw at his words. Huh?
Glancing to the constellation picture peeking out of his box, and then to the matching bracelets you both wear, you find your mind reeling trying to make sense of it all. Yeah, you say the forbidden L-word to each another all the time, but most certainly not with you on his on lap and his lips mere centimeters away. The answer is so obviously clear as day you have trouble believing it.
“Fuck,” you laugh all of a sudden, as soon as the realization hits you, “I wasn’t dreaming, was I?”
Hyunjin lets out a joyous giggle, hands linking behind your back. Unable to hide his smile any longer, he clarifies, “You were not, madam. We literally just finished talking about when we were going to open gifts and then I got ready to sleep. Two seconds later you dumped your heart out to me, but when I answered, you were asleep.”
“Bruh,” you wince, hiding your face with your hands, “I am so sorry you had to deal with that.”
“No, don’t be,” Hyunjin comforts, reaching to tug your hands away. Your gut does somersaults when he intertwines his fingers with yours. “I was actually, uh, planning on doing some sort of confession to you anyway, but then you went right ahead and did it for me. So thanks for that.”
“Wow,” you chuckle, trying to wrap your mind around it all, “does that mean you, ahem, perhaps like me too?”
“No, I just got us really couple-y long distance relationship bracelets, pulled you onto my lap, and kissed you because I just want to be friends.”
“You didn’t kiss m—”
The sly little fucker interrupts your retort by quickly dipping down to press a fat smooch to your lips, missing miserably and you don’t know if he did it on purpose but you quickly fix the problem, releasing his hands to cradle his jaw and tilt his head the right angle. Finally, finally you kiss him, breathing in the smell of him like some sort of aromatherapy and whimpering into his mouth when his tongue swipes against your own. It is like nothing you have ever experienced, the taste and feel of him making you tremble and igniting a burst of electricity through your veins. You could kiss him forever, you think, sucking on his plump bottom lip greedily until he finally pulls back, desperate for air or trying to reel himself in you can’t say.
“You have to open your other gift,” Hyunjin reminds, chest heaving, and your gaze follows his long fingers as they comb his hair away from his forehead. Automatically, as if kissing Hyunjin once grants you some kind of free pass to do the same, you brush a few stray strands away from his face before leaning back to admire him. “Stoooop. You can’t do that and not expect me to kiss you again. Open. Your. Gift.” Hyunjin whines, squishing your cheeks and turning your head away.
“Okay, don’t blame this on me,” you huff, reaching for the second box before jabbing a finger into his chest, “you, sir, need to stop being so beautiful for like, two seconds.”
He scoffs, helping you rip off the wrapping paper, “You’re the beautiful one here.”
“Ew,” you wrinkle your nose, most certainly not used to Hyunjin dishing out such compliments, “this is too Hallmark Christmas movie for me. Let me open my gift in peace, ugly.” This box, unlike the bracelets’, is simple cardboard and when you lift open the lid, a brown leather book looks back at you. “You remember Up?” He asks.
On the leather, it reads Our Adventure Book in mismatched colors. “Yeah,” you whisper, flipping open the cover to find two baby pictures glued on the paper, one of Hyunjin, and one of you. At the top, it’s labeled ‘Before Shit Went Down.’ You laugh.
On the next page, there are random photographs from middle school, and then finally each other’s eighth grade graduation portraits. Then, written at the top is ‘Here It Begins,’ followed by a selfie he randomly took with you a few weeks into school freshman year, and then some from homecoming. Silently flipping through the rest of the book, your tears flow freely now, touched beyond comparison at all the photographs and all the memories accompanying them. Some are from large events like prom, others from random moments you don’t even remember, but each and every one comes together to form a special mold fitting perfectly into that Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart.
The last picture is from the christening last month. Of course, it isn’t one of the nicer photos his mom took of the two of you, but a SnapChat selfie with the flaming sunglasses filter. He’s mid-laugh and you’re pressing a kiss to his cheek. Funny thing is, you don’t even remember taking it.
The page next to it is blank, aside from what’s written at the top of the page. “Togetha Foreva,” you read aloud, voice choked up and God, you cannot fathom how gross you look right now. “What the fuck, man!” You sob, punching Hyunjin’s shoulder before wiping your nose and cheeks with the back of your hands. “I didn’t sign up for this cock and ball torture.”
Hyunjin laughs loudly at this, pulling you into a hug and giving you a few seconds to recover. “Hyunjin, this is like… seriously the best thing anyone has ever done for me, holy shit. God, you Pinterest son of a bitch, this is such a good idea,” you groan, flipping back through the pages and getting teary-eyed all over again, “I can’t express how much this means to me, Jinnie. Thank you, really.”
Flashing that toothy grin of his, Hyunjin tugs you to lie back down with him and tilts your head up to press a much more accurate kiss to your lips. “I meant what I said before, ___,” he murmurs, “I don’t know what to do without you, and I know we only get to see each other once a month but I can’t keep living as just friends. You’re so much more than that. And I hope all the pictures we add from now on will show this new chapter of our lives. If not, well, then I guess I’ll just burn the book.”
“Are you asking me to be Kkami’s official poop-picker-upper?”
“Yes. Wait— what? No!”
You break into a fit of laughter, only to be interrupted with him pinching your side and causing you to let out a yelp. “Hey!” You bark, jumping closer to him and away from his hand until, finally, you give in to your self-indulgence and go right on ahead in swinging a leg over his hips and pinning him beneath you.
“You ruined my serious love speech, ___,” Hyunjin pouts, face scrunched up at you.
“I’m sorry, baby, go on.”
You pause, blinking slowly at him. He blinks back, the silence in the air weighing in heavily as both of your two brain cells bounce around trying to figure out what did you just call him?
“Never mind,” Hyunjin says, voice a low rumble of thunder as he reaches for your hips and easily flips positions, “I think you’re on the same boat.”
You laugh, tilting your head back and eyeing him indignantly. Fuck, he looks unfairly delectable hovering above you.
“Okay, how many more times do I have to tell you I love you for you to formally ask me to be your girlfriend, stupid?” You scowl, bringing your hands to cradle his neck, thumbs brushing delicately against his jaw.
“Call me baby again and we’ll see about making that happen.”
You raise a brow, tugging his face closer by the chain of his necklace. “You’re lucky it’s Christmas, baby.”
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yamagache · 3 years
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Fears I Have Regarding The Season Finale Of 9-1-1
(This show won’t let me have a SINGLE week of peace! 😩)
Matty Commits Die: I wasn’t the only one watching Matty experiencing Postpartum Depression right? Like I’m so worried that no ones going to catch on to her obvious signs of not being ok. And after watching that promo scene of Chimney caressing Matty’s head while she’s on the couch looking like she “sleeping” might be more than a snooze... I am. So. Afraid that’s what the creators are going to sucker punch us in the stomach with right at the end of the episode. Because the creators do not shy away from hitting us with real and visceral endings to characters we like (just watch last weeks episode of 9-1-1 Lone Star. I still ain’t right after that episode.) and it would make sense that no one would realize Matty’s state of mind because...
Eddie Might Die: God I can’t stop thinking about how Eddie being the war veteran he is was probably more worried about Buck the entire time their eyes were locked. Boy would know Snipers tend to shoot more than once, so as he lay bleeding on the pavement floor, he was probably mentally screaming at Buck to take cover. No wonder when that other firefighter jumped Buck out of the way, Eddie was finally able to relax knowing he was ok. But this doesn’t change thE FACT THAT EDDIE SHOT?! Like that shot came the fuck out of nowhere?! Why Eddie?!! I swear to the Gods if Christopher loses another parent we riot.
Athena and Bobby break up: look Athena might have been the closest thing to any kind of awakening I’ll ever have being the hopeless Asexual that I am, (she just *clenches fist* looks so damn good in that uniform), but I swear if she hurts Robert (I am the reason a buncho people got killed, including my wife and kids, but somehow I get to wake up every morning next to Athena) Nash, I’ll have to throw hands. This man has been through the absolute ringer! Can he just have ONE nice thing? As a snack? Why you gotta have them fighting? Isn’t literally everything else about this show enough anxiety fuel?!
Someone we completely didn’t even think about actually dies in the season finale: lords and lassies knows we’re going to be so preoccupied with Eddies condition, Matty’s mental health, the sniper targeting firefighters, Buck and Christopher supremacy and the strained marriage of Bobby and Athena, I wouldn’t put it pass the writers that they kill off someone we weren’t even expecting. Like idk Hen’s wife Karen. Would be just as devastatingly jarring and brutal as the death of Charles from 9-1-1 Lone Star. (I’m still not ok)
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concussed-to-pieces · 3 years
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The Mettle Of A Man; Part Eleven
Fandom: Fallout (4)
Pairing: Eventual Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor
Rating: Holy shit M.
AN: Enjoy!
Part One: ArcJet
Part Two: The Prydwen
Part Three: Orders
Part Four: Finding Brandis
Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland
Part Six: Meeting Preston And Matthew
Part Seven: Radstag And Radstorm
Part Eight: The Return To Sanctuary Hills
Part Nine: Domestic Ruminations
Part Ten: Institutionalized
[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains brief mentions of pregnancy (relating to bodily changes and a C-section) and a graphic depiction of an emotional/nervous breakdown. Stay safe!]
Two weeks and three days. 
  Danse wasn't exactly certain of what to do. It had taken his squadron nearly three weeks to track down Cutler, so three weeks had become his hard limit almost unconsciously. The paladin had never been overly good at resting on his laurels, but it wasn't like he could single-handedly lay siege to the damn Institute for a retrieval mission.
  Returning to the Prydwen without his charge might prove divisive , regardless of how many technical documents Codsworth had procured from the cul-de-sac's abodes. 
  Speaking of Codsworth…
  "Aw, cheer up man." Sturges comforted the robot, who (unless Danse was imagining it) was hovering a bit lower today. "I bet she'll be back any second now!"
  "Mister Sturges, as much as I appreciate your optimistic outlook," the robot sniffed dramatically. "I'm afraid that you cannot begin to understand the sadness I feel. I believed for two hundred years that I had lost Miss Vega, and to have lost her once again is...well, it is unbearable , Mister Sturges."
  Danse grimaced. Did he actually feel bad for a robot? He was, at the very least, sympathizing with it. What the hell was his world coming to?
  Knight Vega certainly kept some interesting company. Aside from the seemingly permanent presence of the elderly Mama Murphy, Sturges, Codsworth, and the married couple of Jun and Marcy Long, numerous colorful individuals had drifted through the settlement over the course of the weeks.
  First there was Cait, a woman with hair red enough to put Proctor Ingram's to shame. She blew into town, provisioner in tow, speaking with a thick, caustic brogue and toting a sawed-off shotgun. "I owe Backhand my life." She said shortly when Danse enquired as to what her business was with Vega. "She got me off the chems, so now I keep her goddamn caravans free from pests."
  She only stayed for a night, but she insisted that Danse join her for a sparring match. He wasn't afraid to admit that she put him through the ringer , his whole body sore the following morning.
  "Tell Handy Cait sends her love!" The woman had called before she departed, giving him a small smile. Danse had ruefully promised to do so, trying not to visibly wince as he waved farewell.
  One Robert MacCready followed shortly thereafter, who had acted like Danse being there would raze the town to the ground on nothing but principle. "I dealt with you ass--er, you jerks in the Capital Wasteland." The lithe man scowled up at Danse, pushing the bill of his hat back. He had a sniper rifle slung around his body with a barrel that was almost as long as he was tall, bearing an ornate, quick-slide scope.
  "I assume you are used to the charity of former Elder Lyons. The eastern chapter is no longer so benevolent, civilian." Danse growled, pricked by MacCready's blatant disdain for the Brotherhood.
  He could tell MacCready wasn't a bad sort, just overly suspicious and prickly. After serving with Knight Rhys for so long, Danse was almost tempted to tell the younger man that he would need to try harder to keep people away from him.
  "Backhand saved my kid." Robert admitted one night after he had been drinking by the fire with Sturges. "She...She helped me get the medicine I needed. Helped cure my little boy." 
  Danse knew he shouldn't be surprised that someone who seemed as young as MacCready had managed to procreate. But as he watched the other man toy idly with a tiny, battered tin soldier that he had pulled from his pocket, Danse felt that perhaps...perhaps Robert had the right to be a bit suspicious and prickly.
  The next visitor was a petite, dark-haired woman named Curie who had an incredibly strange accent. She was of the medical persuasion and curious about everything . Danse was a little taken aback by how blunt some of her inquiries were, but he did his best to humor her. 
  She seemed harmless enough, even if she was hellbent on learning the inner machinations of his entire existence. She asked everything in such a clinical manner, Danse didn't even have the presence of mind to be uncomfortable or embarrassed. 
  That is, until she asked whether he was sexually active and " when was zee last time you stimulated yourself, Monsieur Danse? " Then he clammed right up, loathing that he could feel his face going hot as he remembered exactly when the last time he had stimulated himself was.
  "I will not be answering any more of your questions about my personal matters, civilian." The paladin informed her curtly, caught off-guard by her plaintive cry of dismay at his refusal. 
  "But Monsieur Danse, I must learn zee secret of your overgrown size! You are so very tall and muscular compared to your contemporaries, my research could result in a breakthrough for your whole species! If you are a genetic throwback, zis could mean-" Sturges finally came to his rescue, ushering the wailing doctor away and shooting Danse a wink that made the paladin huff out an irritated grunt.
  Genetic throwback . Dogmeat was a genetic throwback. Danse just...maybe he had good genes. Both of his parents must have possessed more robust constitutions. That was the clear answer. 
  An elaborately-dressed ghoul had marched down the main road like he owned the joint a few days after Curie had come and gone, only stopping when he realized there was a fully-armored paladin aiming a laser rifle at him. "Whoa! Easy crewcut, you'll harsh my mellow." He exclaimed, taking off his tricorn hat and fanning himself with it. "The name's John Hancock," he continued with a showy little bow. "I'm lookin' for General Vega. She around?"
  "Knight Vega is indisposed at the moment, but you're welcome to leave a message, ghoul." Danse gritted out, oddly keen on attempting civility.
  Hancock whistled and Dogmeat came running over, immediately flopping onto his back for a belly rub. "Ah, there he is. My favorite of the general's mutts. Sorry, you say somethin'?" The ghoul asked lazily, the pitch-black void of his eyes boring pointedly into Danse's. 
  The paladin threw his hands up in the air after a moment and stormed off. God damn it, Vega, you could have warned me that you kept such diverse company! he ranted inwardly.
  The visitor that had nearly sent him into a conniption was an old synth, its skin ragged and tattered enough to show its inner workings. Sturges chatted away with the damn thing (and its traveling companion, a self-styled reporter apparently named Piper Wright) and Danse just floundered . Backhand made friends with synths?
  Ticking mentally over everyone else he had met during his stay at Sanctuary, Danse reluctantly admitted that yes, Backhand would absolutely make friends with synths. Perhaps he should have come to terms with that before everything that had occurred, but now here he was, fully kitted and watching this synth narrowly. 
  "Come on over and introduce yourself, big fella'. No need to glare from afar." The synth commented wryly. "From what I understand we're all on the same team."
  "If it's all the same to you, synth , I'll keep my distance." Danse could tolerate a lot of things. Ghouls, specifically. He had met numerous in his travels and while it was unsettling to converse with them, he knew they weren't all diseased, mindless shamblers despite what the Brotherhood had beaten into him. But synths …
  They were the embodiment of mankind's arrogance. Monstrous, uncanny, a mockery of bodily functions. They made Danse's skin crawl.
  Piper huffed indignantly, rolling her eyes and pointing a finger at Danse as she remarked loudly to Sturges, "I wasn't aware that Blue had rechristened this place Bigotry Hills."
  The synth inclined its head in the meantime, somehow giving off an air of mechanical resignation. "Alright, I'll go first I suppose, since you've forgotten your manners. Name's Nick Valentine. I'm a detective operating out of Diamond City."
  Nick Valentine . Danse's mouth became a desert. This , this was the detective Vega sang the praises of when it came to tracking down the man who had stolen her son? "Knight Vega failed to mention that you were a synth." He muttered.
  "She probably figured it wasn't relevant. After all, the Institute left me at the curb with another man's memories in my head. Miss Vega did me a good turn after I helped her out with that Kellogg fella'." The synth shrugged. "Let an old bot put a few more ghosts to rest." He dusted off the raggedy fedora he wore, those unnerving golden eyes focused on Danse. "I caught wind that something might have gone a little sour with her infiltration, so Piper and I thought we'd drop by and see if we could offer any sort of assistance."
  "And can you?" Danse asked, concern and suspicion making his tone even sharper as he glanced at the woman. Piper stuck her tongue out at him, to his chagrin.
  The synth looked regretful for a second and Danse pondered that its face could even convey such a complex emotion. "Probably not, but at least now I know I'm not the only one worrying about our doll Vega." It remarked shrewdly. 
  Danse blushed guiltily, dropping his gaze from that calculating stare. It felt like the synth could see every damn thing he had ever done wrong in his life and Danse loathed the idea of this machine being able to help where he couldn't. "I'll be watching you, synth ," he blustered. "If you step out of line-"
  The synth actually interrupted him, waving a spindly, metallic hand. "You'll what, melt me into slag? I'd be careful, I might do something nefarious like trap you in an intelligent conversation."
  …
  Danse's sleep schedule had never been anything even bordering on concrete, but now the worry kept him up more than the nightmares. A thousand scenarios ran through his mind, each one worse than the last. His fatalistic tendencies would be the death of him one of these days, and wouldn't that be a poetic end. Death by apoplexy, his heart just exploding under the stress of his own imagination.
  No one commented when he ended up abandoning that soft mattress in the front room of Vega's house in favor of planting his bedroll on the floor at the foot of her bed. He spent long hours there every night, disassembling his gun, cleaning it thoroughly and checking over his mods. 
  When he inevitably gave up on sleep, he would patrol the perimeter. Jun joined him fairly often, the soft spoken man having taken it upon himself to manage the security around the settlement.
  "At first, I think Backhand just wanted me to have something to do." Jun mentioned out of the blue one evening, his haggard expression illuminated in the faint light of the moon. "So she told me to uh, walk the property line. Marcy didn't know what to do with me. Hell, she didn't even know what to do with herself . Losing Kyle was…" the man swallowed hard. "Well, the general understood, on account of her own little one. She knew I needed to be kept busy, especially after that close call in Concord. I'm just glad Marcy didn't give up on me." He admitted.
  "Why would she have given up on you?" Danse asked, a bit confused that this conversation was even occurring. He didn't do this sort of thing. "Whatever transpired with your child wasn't your fault." He had never asked for the specifics and Jun hadn't volunteered them.
  Jun shrugged. "Being married is...full of ups and downs. And sometimes the downs are really, really hard. Too hard. It's terrible, seeing the person you love turn into some kind of...angry husk because of grief and you're grieving too, and you know you can't fix it because-" the man's eyes welled up, his voice hitching. "-b-because you're not strong enough."
  Danse's breath caught in his lungs because oh God , that had been him after Cutler. Frustrated, hollow, newly promoted and warming Arthur's bed out of duty as he tried to privately grieve the man he had lost.
  It had been Haylen and Rhys who pried him from his depressive, wrathful tendencies. Brandis had suggested that Danse consider sponsoring his own initiates, and recommended him two candidates. The young woman, barely into adulthood, so full of life and eager to learn, and Rhys had been angry like him. 
  More followed after those two, but they had been his first. He sponsored Dawes, Brach, Keane, Worwick...squire or initiate to aspirant, aspirant to scribe or knight. All the while keeping them at arm's length, reluctant to open himself up again to the suffering that had wreaked its havoc upon him after the loss of Cutler.
  Learning about Paladin Krieg's passing during the assault on Adams Air Force Base was a blade twisting in his back. Danse had felt like his entire body was on fire, raw with agony once more as everything he had tried so hard to keep under control collapsed beneath him. He emerged from that particular rubble stoic and grim, and it was shortly after that incident that Recon Squadron Artemis went dark in the Commonwealth. 
  Brandis was sent to die and you know it! That evening in the barracks had been one of the hardest in his entire military career. Danse had known he was lying, lying to every single man, woman and child in that room that he would pass along any information he learned about Paladin Brandis.
  But what else could he do?
  "You can't fix everything and every one, Mr. Long." The paladin murmured finally. "You'll only burn yourself out with the effort. All you can do is let time do its work."
  "Oh, I know." The other man said calmly, having clearly mastered himself while Danse mulled over his response. "Marcy and I had a long talk about...our son, and even though it still hurts to talk about him, I know someday it won't." He smiled at Danse. "Thanks for listening, Mr. Paladin. I can see why the general likes you."
  Danse may or may not have tucked that precious information away, deep down in his heart.
  ...
  Backhand had no idea how many days had passed since she had departed. The Commonwealth was relatively quiet all around the settlement as she took a few steadying breaths after relaying back, bent nearly double with her hands on her knees. Overhead in the night sky, the moon beamed weakly between the thick clouds.
  Staggering down the steps that were still attached to the bare foundation, a wave of exhaustion threatened to cripple her. Away from the artificial lighting and brilliant whiteness of the Institute, she abruptly felt like she hadn't slept in weeks. How long had she been awake for?
  Bed , Vega decided with a nod. Bed before anything else . With slow, trudging footsteps, the young woman made her way to the house where she had lived before the bombs fell. Whatever time it was, it was obviously late. There wasn't a light on across the whole settlement, and she was incredibly grateful that she would be afforded a few moments of reprieve before she was plied with questions.
  Backhand closed the front door behind her, doing her best to be quiet. Danse must be asleep. Either that or he had returned to the Prydwen. Vega was a little startled at how distraught that made her feel, like she had lost somehow. 
  She stifled a yawn as she jiggled the sticky doorknob to her room and, too impatient to ease the door open, she put her shoulder to it.
  The door flew open and she immediately found herself on the business end of a very familiar laser rifle. Vega couldn't help her shriek of surprise and in her haste to retreat, she toppled into the hall and landed hard on her back. "Wait, wait! " She pleaded, throwing up her hands in surrender. "Don't shoot, Danse!"
  The paladin just stared down at her for a moment, his brow slowly unfurrowing in recognition as he lowered his gun. "Elizabeth?" He asked, his voice rasping hoarsely.
  "Y-Yeah. Hi." Backhand replied, her voice shaky. "It's me." Danse extended his hand, easily pulling her upright off the ground. She half-fell against his body, the large man accepting the weight without a word. "Why are you sleeping in here?" Backhand blurted out the first question she could think of, noticing the disturbed bedroll on the floor at the foot of her bed. 
  "I assumed that should you return, you would most likely head to your room first." The paladin answered quickly, too quickly for it to be the truth.
  Backhand raised an eyebrow. "And the armed greeting?"
  "A reflex."
  Vega's hands curled into fists on his chest, taking handfuls of his shirt between her fingers. I missed you , she wanted to say, I missed you so much . "How long was I gone for?" She asked instead.
  "Seventeen days." Danse replied in a no-nonsense manner. "It appears your infiltration of the Institute was a success." He was watching her closely. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Knight."
  Vega wanted to kiss him, not missing the warmth of relief in his eyes despite his neutral tone. She hurriedly peeled herself off of his chest, awkwardly clearing her throat and casting her brain around for an excuse to leave. "I'm...I need to shower." She lied, grimacing. "I was going to go right to bed, but…"
  "Take your time. I'll remove my personal effects and return to my quarters." The paladin intoned stiffly.
  Backhand grabbed a random assortment of clothing from atop her rickety dresser and fled to the bathroom without another word. 
  She slid down the door once she had shut it firmly, closing her eyes and hanging her head. What the hell were you expecting, Vega? she chastised herself, starting to unlace her boots. Some kind of fairytale reunion where he sweeps you up into his arms and professes his undying love? And we ride into the sunset? Backhand scoffed, bringing her fist down on the side of the salvaged water heater to get it to function.
  Vega stared down at her body as she showered, feeling oddly like a spectator. The faint scar at the bottom of her stomach mocked her, taunting her with the memory of the hospital room, the swaddled Shaun being pressed into her arms…
  This was all so wrong. 
  She pushed the heels of her palms into her eyes hard enough to blind her for a moment, fending off the tears that threatened to close her throat. The scar was placed low enough on her body that the waistband of her underwear concealed it. She didn't have to think about it too often. Usually she avoided looking at it while she bathed, the surgical leftover making complex feelings of grief and resentment war inside her.
  Her fingers drew over the faded scar, then rose to brush the stretch marks that striped over her belly from where her body had changed to accommodate Shaun's growing form. And still her eyes were dry.
  Backhand emerged from the lukewarm shower and simply sat on the side of the tub, watching the water slowly swirl down the drain. She thought of the Institute, where clean water was just a faucet turn away. Free of parasites and radiation, bearing a faint reek of chlorine that had clung to her hair and skin after bathing.
  Her brow furrowed and she toweled herself off briskly, donning the clothing she had grabbed at random. The shirt was too big, unfamiliar, and she realized with a sharp pang of a strange emotion that it must be one of Danse's. Had he done her laundry while she was gone?
  The young woman hung her towel up to dry, scooped all her dirty clothes off the floor and padded back across the hall to her room. 
  Danse, true to his word, had removed his bedroll and pack from the room, leaving no trace of his previous occupancy. Vega dropped her ball of clothes in the corner and sank down on the edge of her mattress, putting her head into her hands. 
  I believe you will do great things for the Institute.
  Her fingers dug into her hair, raking through it in a nervous gesture. She didn't want to do great things. She had never wanted to do great things. All she had wanted was a family.
  A child, a husband, a modest house in a quiet neighborhood…
  The bombs had taken so much from everyone else, did she even have the right to mourn the life she wished she had? It seemed so selfish, so...petty.
  Shaun's crib sat empty by the door like always, but now its vacancy mocked her. Had she ever truly believed she would find her son? Or had she been lying to herself the whole time, trying to convince herself that she could have been a good mother and that it wasn't all her fault Shaun had been taken. Rage bathed her in a comforting blanket of numbness and Backhand clenched her fists, rising from the bed. 
  With a stilted, furious cry of, " fuck you! " she heaved the empty crib against the wall.
  It was a simple enough task to snap the rungs in it, blowing through them one after the other. Next the flimsy headboard, torn from the sides with a shriek of abused screws. Backhand broke it over her knee, pitching the pieces off to land somewhere as the crib teetered on two legs. She grabbed those last two legs, picked the remains of the crib up, and smashed it against the floor with all her might. 
  It exploded in a cloud of chipped blue pieces, effectively destroyed. Backhand screamed in frustrated anguish, sinking to her knees and wrapping her arms around herself. She hadn't even noticed she was crying, but the tears were hot enough to burn on her cheeks.
  She felt running footsteps vibrate through the floor, but she didn't so much as raise her head. 
  Danse, Danse , those brown eyes so warm and concerned, knelt in front of her. " Easy , Knight." He soothed. Backhand sobbed hysterically, her whole body shaking with each inhale. "Elizabeth." Danse said her name calmly, quietly, his arms falling open.
  The woman flung herself into his embrace, gripping his back tightly. Danse held her close, like she was small and fragile and needed to be protected, one hand on the back of her head stroking her still-damp hair. Vega just went limp, weeping pitifully into his shirt.
  "By Jove…" Codsworth breathed from the door. "Oh mum, I'm so sorry." She felt a metal pincer rest gingerly on her shoulder and Backhand knocked her forehead against Danse's clavicle when she turned her face to look at Codsworth. "You should have told us, mum. Whatever it is, it's all too much to carry alone." The robot scolded her kindly. "I helped you raise the little tyke, if you recall. We will always have those fond memories, you and I."
  "It hurts." Backhand said thickly. "It h-hurts so much. I just wanted him back."
  "I'm sorry, Elizabeth." Danse murmured, words laden with sorrow. And he didn't even know what had happened yet!
  "I don't want anyone else to be sorry. I-I want to take every one of that smug f- fuck's toys and break them. If he wasn't already on his way out, I would-" Backhand dissolved into seething, nonsensical muttering. "There's good people in the Institute." She said finally. "People who wanted to help. People who need to get out."
  "And the Brotherhood will do everything we can to save them." Danse promised solemnly, taking her hands in his own and making a sympathetic noise in the back of his throat as he examined the battered skin. "Christ Vega, you're full of splinters."
  "I just...I don't know, I shouldn't have done that." Backhand mumbled, feeling idiotic for letting herself get so out of control.
  "Not to worry, mum!" Codsworth cheerily clicked his pincers. "I'll have you squared away in a jiffy!"
  Danse didn't let her go as Codsworth painstakingly worked over her abused hands to remove every last sliver. The paladin even assisted when the robot asked, holding her skin taut or flattening her palm out on his own to keep her steady so Codsworth could get a better grip.
  Piper appeared in the doorway in the midst of the procedure, wearing a raggedy robe and carrying a steaming mug. "And there's our gal." The reporter said softly. "Heya' Blue."
  "H-Hey Piper." Backhand sniffled. 
  The other woman tipped her head. "Nicky's on his way. You want tea or coffee?" 
  "Coffee, please. Please." Backhand begged, feeling Danse's hold on her tighten slightly. She was sitting in his lap still, his arms around her while Codsworth worked. She hated herself for enjoying the comfort his proximity provided, hated herself for being too weak to deal with this on her own. 
  As if he could sense her thoughts, the paladin settled her back more firmly against his chest.
  …
  She was back. She had come back. Harried and haggard but alive . Danse could feel the tension radiating from her and he wanted to kick himself for greeting her with a weapon at the door. His brain hadn't even registered that it might be her , he had awoken from his uneasy half-doze to someone breaching the door and his body reacted.
  Danse wanted to question her. He wanted to grip her to his chest and never let her out of his sight again. He wanted to berate her for being gone for so long. He wanted to lay her down on her bed and--
  He shoved that thought away. She was obviously exhausted and worn from whatever it was that she had gone through. Now was absolutely not the time to voice the pesky, budding emotions that warred in his chest.
  He could sense the impending explosion hanging heavy in the air like the changing pressure of an approaching storm, but he hadn't expected the rupture to happen so soon. Vega was barely out of the shower when he heard the first crash , her yell of " fuck you! ". 
  Danse wrestled momentarily with himself, his hands clenching in the fabric of his sleeping bag. Expressing anger could be therapeutic in it's own right, and her getting everything out now might be miles healthier than bottling it all up until she imploded.
  But her sobbing cries effectively wiped his plan of inaction. She sounded like she was in agony and Danse didn't even remember tearing the door open. One second he was in his own room and then the next he was on his knees in front of her, " easy , Knight," his voice gone soft and tender in a manner wholly uncharacteristic of the usually stoic man.
  He couldn't help saying her name, her first name, even though he felt wrong for doing so. But she pitched forward into his embrace just like Haylen had, weeping as though her heart was fit to break. And all Danse could do, all anyone could have done, he assured himself, was hold her close.
  She had no care for the safety and wellbeing of her hands, he realized wryly as he checked them over for broken bones. This was the second time patching up her poor fingers, the first time feeling like a distant memory. Her shredding her knuckles to ribbons on the manual release of his suit, her complete disregard for her own comfort…
  Danse didn't move, even when the synth arrived on Piper's heels. Everyone crowded into the room and he knew he ought to feel self-conscious, but now Vega was the one refusing to release him . So there he sat on the floor with her secure in his arms, listening to the entire sordid tale as Codsworth quietly tidied up the mess that had been Shaun's crib. 
  The Institute was real , and it wound for miles underneath the Commonwealth. They had access to safe food and pure drinking water, all made possible by unimaginable technology. Her son wasn't dead or even a child, but instead old and frail. The years had stretched on longer than anyone could have anticipated between his removal from the Vault and Vega's own awakening. 
  The advances that made the generation three synths possible had been brought about by utilizing infant Shaun's pre-war DNA, and he was known as Father to all the synths. But he wasn't a father at all, at least not one that anybody would want to have.
  "Synths are like lower class citizens to these scientists. Expendable. Seen and not heard." Backhand explained, and Nick muttered something uncharitable under his breath. "They're not people, they're tools. Shit, Shaun even listed them off like that, he called the coursers hammers ." Vega spat. "But they think . They dream. Hell, they grieve even though they don't know that's what they're doing."
  She spoke of the courser mourning the loss of his friend, forced to grieve without understanding the feelings he suffered through and Danse was somehow full of sympathy for a damn killing machine. It must just be Vega's compassionate nature transferring to him. There was no way he could actually believe anything like that was even possible.
  Spinal recalibration .
  Danse wasn't sure why , but he felt a blunt stab of pain at the nape of his neck when she explained the procedure. It was probably psychosomatic, he reasoned. The process sounded gruesome.
  Nick flipped back and forth through his notepad, scratching at the side of his head with his pencil. "I'll need some time to look all of this over, sweetheart." He said to Backhand, glancing at Piper. "And you need time to recover," he continued in a gently-chiding tone. "You seem half-dead, doll."
  Danse realized with a barely-hidden start that he had begun to refer to the synth as Nick in his mind. What was happening to him? Had he been away from the Brotherhood for so long that he was going soft? Was his moral integrity being compromised?
  Or was he just coming to terms with something that he couldn't bring himself to label yet? 
  Backhand nodded, tugging the paladin out of his reverie. "I really want to sleep." She mumbled. She must have been truly exhausted, because in spite of downing the mug of coffee Piper had procured for her, she was slumped in Danse's arms. 
  Piper patted Vega's knee, giving Danse a stern glare. The paladin wanted to laugh at her attempt to intimidate him. "You get some rest, Blue. Nicky and I will do our best to compile what you've given us." She assured her.
  After the duo from Diamond City had left, Codsworth made a noise like he was clearing his throat. "I'm just so glad you're back, mum." He said, his words weirdly heartfelt for coming from a machine.
  Vega reached out and caught one of Codsworth's arms before the bot could leave, the young woman smiling wearily up at the Mister Handy. "I'm glad to be back, Codsworth." 
  Danse managed to usher her into her bed just as the sun was rising, but she grabbed his hand when he turned to depart. "Wait." Backhand whispered, her eyelids drooping. "Please...please stay? I don't want to be alone, Danse." A lone tear wound its way down her cheek. "Please don't leave me alone." 
  Danse planted himself in the chair beside the bed, laying his laser rifle across his knees. "I'm not going anywhere, Knight Vega." He promised her solemnly, taking a greedy, selfish moment to push the hair back from her face. "Sleep."
Part Twelve
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whenrockwasyoung19 · 4 years
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All Taron Egerton films ranked by how they emotionally devastated me
Spoilers ahead for all of Taron’s films
1) Testament of Youth: if you’ve seen this one, then you can probably guess why it tops the list. this movie is packed with stuff that breaks my heart. To make it worse, Taron is so god damn cute, looking like Bambi and using the softest voice. First off, Edward nearly dies. This is so traumatic because Vera, who’s a nurse on the front, realizes her brother might be injured or dead, so she’s running around the hospital tent looking for her brother. Then, she sees him lying amongst the dead. Already, I’m shaking. I’m seeing spots. My baby may be dead. But wait, there’s hope. He has a pulse. So, Vera brings him into the hospital. This is where I have to watch baby Edward writhing in pain while he nearly bleeds to death. Then, he wakes up and he’s like a literal angel. He’s all “I dreamed an angel played me music?” Have I recovered from this? Nope. But after he wakes up, he starts to get better. Then he’s off to the Italian front where the fighting isn’t as bad. And just when you think he’s going to make it HE FUCKING DIES. I have to watch as his ghost says goodbye to Alicia Vikander like no. No movie no. No I know this is a real person but I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS. So yeah, Testament of Youth easily takes the number one spot.
2) Rocketman: Elton is a tortured soul, and I want to nurture him. Elton suffers so much, and even though I love it, it makes me feel so many things. It doesn’t help that Elton nearly dies, and I have to watch him be resuscitated. So many sad things happen to this one person, and I want to protect him and hug him. Ah it hurts.
3) The Smoke: it’s not a movie but how can I not mention it? Taron suffers so much in this show. He’s basically depressed the entire time, and then, twist, we find out he’s suicidal too. And then, after we watch him absolutely break down, spoilers: Dennis nearly dies in a fire. And I have to watch this? The audACITY
4) Kingsman the Golden Circle: ok, Matthew Vaughn is a sadist who wants his characters to suffer and maybe die. Eggsy, surprisingly, suffers physically very little. But boy does Matthew put him through the ringer emotionally. First, he watches his dog and friend die. Then, he reunited with his Senpai who’s like ‘who the fuck are you,’ and just does not give a shit about him. Then, his girlfriend breaks up with him and she nearly dies. And then, Merlin dies in front of him. Like blows up, no alpha gel this time, Merlin you’re fucking dead. So yeah, I think this one ranks pretty high.
5) Kingsman the Secret Service: Eggsy has a rough time of it. He watched his Senpai die. Also, Eggsy nearly drowns. He gets bullied for being poor. And he gets rejected from Kingsman after having to nearly shoot his own dog. Eggsy is put through the ringer; therefore I am put through the ringer.
6) Sing: Taron once again plays a character with daddy issues. The fact that his dad went to jail and Johnny was blamed for it, so sad. Also, Taron singing Stay With Me, devastating.
7) Robin Hood: Robin gets shot three times in this movie. Two of those times, the arrow is pulled out on screen which causes him to scream out in pain. Also the love sickness he feels over Marion got to me. When he found out he was drafted, made me feel so bad for little Robin of Loxley.
8) Moominvalley: I have to watch Moomin troll get arrested and thrown in jail. I will never forget his pleas for freedom
9) Eddie the Eagle: Eddie is a precious bean, and seeing him fall down a mountain and get seriously hurt actually hurt my soul. I felt like it was my own son tumbling down that mountain. Also, the sound effects when he falls: Dex, pull back a little. I don’t need to hear his bones breaking. I get the picture.
So that is my list. As you can see, Taron has been in a lot of films that have emotionally damaged me in some way.
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