#But it happens to white women asian women latina women etc too

[ciderjacks]

idk why ppl ignore that women, regardless of race or class, experience police violence for being female. Both from on duty and off duty officers. That 40% cops thing is thrown around a lot but no one acknowledges that as hate, that police officers off duty will often use their power as a man and as an officer to beat/kill women. Theres also the cases of police on duty using abortion as an excuse to brutalize and stalk women, police officers raping and murdering women using their power as officers to do it and getting away with it. and then also something no one talks about: the justice system unfairly punishes women if it can. The justice system hates women being free.

Also, “crime of passion” laws still exist, female murder victims and missing women (regardless of race, but especially native women) are rarely taken seriously. And let’s not even get into how women are treated in female prisons, male guards frequently use female prisons as his own personal brothel, and this behaviour is allowed for sometimes years. Oh, and shit let’s also not talk about how many laws are really only created to protect men and arrest girls. Let’s not talk about how many women end up in jail for minor things like drugs and property damage, compared to men.

Let’s also not talk about how poverty and drug addiction connect, and how the patriarchy keeps women in poverty by intentionally underpaying female dominated fields, reducing wages on any field when it becomes female dominated, and underpaying the female workers who happen to work in male dominated fields to keep them poorer than their male counterparts. Let’s not talk about how keeping females and female communities poor is directly contributing to the kind of crime that women are then unfairly targeted for.

let’s really not talk about how all these things connect, how the men in charge of society have set up a system that keeps women poor and trapped, then the men in charge of prison facilities setting up a system where women are locked up in places where they have no control for minor charges, then said men, who now have complete control over these women, use the women who’ve been trapped in these facilities (again, very often for things a man wouldn’t be criminally charged for) as sex slaves, even forcing them to get pregnant….yeah, let’s not talk about how all that connects.

[wifecaroldanvers]

told the girl I'm kind of seeing abt being gender critical. Didn't get into the whole nitty gritty (like my male hatred or my views on single sex sports teams) but did mention I don't think medical intervention should be a thing for children bc the phrasing of "forced puberty" makes no sense (I framed it as "to me" but it makes no sense at all!) because puberty is just another natural stage of life like dying. We can't go back and undie so we can die "the way we felt we were supposed to"

she didn't banish me like I feared which REALLY tells me my ex best friend's disdain for me was far far far beyond than me twansfobic bc ive had similar gender critical/porn critical/etc etc conversations recently with now THREE women in the past ten days, one of which will surely peak, one another lesbian who will definitely kick it around in her head, and the other the lesbian I'm seeing which... curious to see what she says in a few days.

She did say "sex is a social construct" and I was like "dude no, when you hear "sex is white colonialism bla bla bla" it just makes it seem like you're calling non white communities too stupid to realize one of them inseminates and the other gestates. And also I've heard a lot from intersex people and learned that many disorders are sex specific or there are sex specific symptoms and one of the reasons we may be tipped off a woman is intersex is if she never menstruates" (which idk if that's a symptom at all I know infertility is a symptom in many so it was a leap I took but got the message across)

so she, a white woman who has been force fed this shit, hopefully realizes that black women and Asian women and latinas aren't too stupid to realize we don't have dicks. Also mentioned how female fetuses couldn't be like NO I AM NOT FEMALE to opt out of being aborted where males are overwhelmingly preferences, etc etc, so I referenced a lot of """""third world""""""" injustices (as in it happens in first worlds but we in the us don't wanna acknowledge that) too

Anyway it went WAY better than I expected and she was like "I know you're coming at this from a good place and it's a perspective I haven't heard and it sounds like you're just taking a different solution than opting out of gender" and I was like "yeah in an ideal world I'd do away with gender completely and sex would be the thing that mattered." So let's see peeps

[caswlw]

can you elaborate on the ppg situation? im a casual fan i really rarely engage with fandom and im not following the reboot's production that closely. also feel free to go off, whatever you say I'm going to read the whole thing.

so essentially they casted a black actress to play buttercup and an asian actress to play blossom (and a white actress for bubbles)

now this sounds surface level as normal hollywood diversity, you’ve got the lightskin black woman, a half white/half asian person, and you’ve got the blonde- but bc buttercup is the angrier more violent sister, the choice to cast the black person as buttercup is feeding into racist stereotypes for black people and black women specifically. blossom, the smart sister, is of course the one they casted with the asian actress. some have been defending the casting of yana as buttercup by saying it’s bc she has black hair, but chloe bennett doesn’t naturally have red hair and she’s playing blossom so that falls apart instantly 💀

but what’s even More confusing is the fact that there’s been common race hcs for the powerpuff girls for YEARS !! the most common art or fancast i’ve seen for the girls (outside of them all just being. white.) has bubbles as the black girl and buttercup is asian. blossom varies more from what i’ve seen, but if all are different races, usually those two are kept that way- and they don’t feed into those two specific stereotypes. of course, there’s a lot to say about not falling into making a black bubbles the softer and nurturing one with the characterization of black women as everyone’s caretaker, as well as making sure buttercup isn’t just the cutthroat asian character (usually w that streak of purple hair too) who has no feelings and is somehow skilled at all martial arts. but it goes enough to say that black woman angry and asian woman smart isn’t on the same level as that weird more recent asian stereotype in media (as opposed to the other two which apply more to people in general)

and it would be incredibly simply to also just. take the current actresses and flip them. bc they’ve shown that age and looks don’t matter for this reboot (bc chloe is 4 years older than dove (who’s bubbles) and yana), they don’t Need to have them set up like this but they Chose for it to be this way !! and it’s bonkers that no one stopped them before getting here !! they also could’ve made all three sisters one race but for some reason the racially diverse cast they made just so happens to be the worst of the possible choices 😔 what sucks too is that with a black bubbles and asian buttercup there’s a lot of fun choices that fans have made with art or fan works in general that are nice! like bubbles’ hair, i’ve seen blonde afro puffs instead of pigtails, or having blonde braids too !! with buttercup i’ve seen some where the creator is deliberately avoiding the strange purple streak characterization by giving her the emotional response that comes with being so closed off all the time, and how her anger and rebelliousness has to do with how different her sisters are and how their choices/values/etc are super different. blossom (my favorite) i’ve seen depicted as numerous races but they also usually play into how the whole “every sister is like this” boxes they fit into didnt age well and how the pressure to be the smart one didn’t help her- and it helps even More that w those spec fan choices help to not only stray away from stereotypes but also teach that others are bad AND how the girls aren’t the ones people think they are when they first show up !! antagonists thinking buttercup is the smart one or bubbles is the angry one bc of their looks and learning they’re all powerful differently is so good!!

the main issue is that even if the show chooses to break apart the stereotypes in this show, they still somehow thought it was okay to make the choice to cast yana as buttercup and chloe as blossom 😔 and dove as bubbles i guess but that matters less. goes a lot in saying how blind they were to the impact of those two choices. those defending it have just been showing even Further a lack of understanding of what stereotypes are, as well as how it’s harmful even if the show decides to show they’re aware of how buttercup’s casting sucks- like self aware doesn’t mean good writing it just means they know they fucked up. as a long time fan of all things ppg i just don’t know how u could mess up with something so simple?? if it were me i likely would’ve gone w the two choices above and a latina blossom, or they would’ve all been black. i also am deathly afraid of the sexuality choices they’re going to make so i’m holding my breath there but on the overall- it’s upsetting and clearly has bad written all over the entire show

[cuntess-carmilla]

i remember how impossible it was to criticize anything about ariana (including her fake tan and blaccent) during her "sweetener" and "thank you next" era without being subject to the craziest accusations, like misogyny, shit-stirring, and not caring about abuse victims!! i think a lot of people (including POC!! sadly!!) tend to overidentify with and coddle victimized white women to the point of excusing their racism. i think the awful shit ariana went through for a few years in a row (manchester, pastor incident, blamed for mac miller's passing, pete davidson, etc etc) obfuscated her racefaking to her audience even tho she did it well before anything bad happened and is continuing to do it into the present day. also hate the comparisons to britney when britney has been to hell and back yet yet advocates for and empathizes with other marginalized people, that's just fucking insulting!

also not to undermine the racism/exotification that east asian women face, but i feel like people only started to turn on ariana once she got that disastrous BBQ japanese tattoo and threw a public tantrum on twitter? before that point she had been imitating black women/non-white latinas for a LONG time but the racefaking was often treated with skepticism if not outright dismissal/disdain (even by a lot of POC!!). but now that she's turning into koreana grande, she's getting significantly more backlash and while i know that's a good thing, it hurts to see how much more seriously it's taken compared to blackface/brownface?

No, I totally get you on feeling hurt that people are reacting only now, and I think it's because white women usurping the bodies of Black women is just so much more normalized, even if white women exploiting the bodies of other woc is also way too normalized as well.

I remember too when I said that Ariana's tan wasn't natural and that it was in fact excessive in 2018 and also got people mad at me for it like I'm not part Italian but with an actual brown mom and siblings lmaooo.

[battlestar-royco]

here is part 2 of my sci fi recs masterlist! again, i could’ve gone on with even more recs but i decided to draw the line here. this set for the most part errs on the darker side, thematically, visually, conceptually etc. i personally find it super thought-provoking and intriguing but that’s just me. i highly recommend reading the tw under the cut if you’re thinking of watching, especially the matrix and space gothic slides. please view at your discretion <3

part 1/2

If you like WLW (um idk why I only made this slide based on identity; it just kinda happened lmao but I think it works):

Siren: (tw: parent loss, grief, thalassophobia) a mermaid surfaces in a cove town looking for her lost sister. Polyamorous relationship between a man, a black/indigenous woman, and the mermaid!!!! Environmentalism! As a person who has thalassophobia, I didn’t find this too hard to watch. There aren’t that many underwater scenes, thankfully.

Black Mirror: San Junipero: (tw: grief, but otherwise none that I recall; it’s pretty lighthearted) two women meet in a beach resort in the 80s and fall in love. Interracial wlw!

Orphan Black: (tw: suicide, infertility, rape implication, VB, language, drug use) a woman realizes she is one of several clones and uncovers an elaborate corporate conspiracy. This is one of my personal favorites with great rep of complex women of all ages and bodily autonomy. Several central queer characters and a black male secondary character!

Starfish: (tw: grief, a few jump scares and brief monstrous imagery, blood) after the death of her best friend, a young woman breaks into the deceased’s apartment and discovers a chain of music tapes that could save the world. Weird, subtle, and experimental. Not to sound like a surfer but you kinda have to allow yourself to be in the vibe. The main character and her friend were definitely a thing imo.

Annihilation: (tw: body horror, VB, disturbing imagery) a team of women scientists explore an anomaly that rapidly mutates genes. There are canonical and coded wlw and multiple (light-skinned) POC in this but the rep is short-lived. I put it on because although it should’ve been more ambitious with the casting, I think it breaks *some* ground for Hollywood sci fi with the all-woman team and more than one WOC. Wack ending though.

Mad Max: Fury Road: (tw: rape implication, violence) I think everyone knows about this one but: in the apocalypse, a woman breaks 4 younger women out of a harem. A badass car chase across the desert ensues. A bit light on plot/worldbuilding, but sooooo cool-looking and very thematic!!!!

If you liked STRANGER THINGS:

It: (tw: VB) don’t actually watch this lmao I’m serious. It’s really stupid, and not in a funny way. But I do think Stranger Things was inspired by this story overall. The modern It films are better but they’re also really kjslsklskls stupid? Stephen King in general is obsolete imo.

The Thing: (tw: VB) an alien that can take the form of others wreaks havoc on a scientific facility in Antarctica. It’s dark and vibey, but I feel like it’s just Alien in Antarctica with truly terrible special effects tbh?? Others feel differently. It’s also classified as sci fi/horror, so stay away if you’re easily scared! Not too good on representation.

Super 8: (tw: some language) a group of preteens witnesses an alien-caused train crash as they’re filming a home movie. Not diverse but I definitely think it inspired a lot of sci fi for the 2010s, ESPECIALLY Stranger Things. Not too scary either!

ET: (tw: it’s been a really long time since I watched so I don’t remember but it’s rated PG) I think everyone knows what this is about!

Alien: (tw: VB) truckers in space discover a deadly evolving alien. One of my favorite movies of all time! I love the aesthetic and the mood and worldbuilding so much. Ellen Ripley is one of the first Final Girls in the horror genre. I personally found this more of a sci fi than a horror movie but I’d say stay away if you’re nervous!!

Terminator: (tw: VB) a deadly android is sent to kill a woman who’s destined to birth the man who saves the world. Terminator 2 is way better imo because it centers on Sarah rather than the dudes saving her and trying to kill her. But it’s still worth a watch, you know, for the culture.

If you liked CONTAGION:

War of the Worlds: (tw: blood) pretty straightforward aliens come to Earth to take over. Sorry to rec another T*m Cruise movie but I really like the alien design and the apocalypsey feel of this one. Baby Dakota Fanning is in it too!

Falling Skies: (tw: VB, body horror, rape) alien invasion yada yada but the alien lore gets more interesting as it goes on. It’s kind of cheesy and yeah maybe I did discover it by looking up the iCarly boyfriend (and what about it??) but it’s nice to have on in the downtime. An Asian woman co-stars.

Knowing: (tw: blood) school students unearth a time capsule that contains a sheet from a girl who predicted all the tragic world events between 1959-2009. This is NOT a good movie but it’s SO hilarious to me because of the acting and contrivances. Fun to group-watch!!!!

10 Cloverfield Lane: (tw: VB, emotional abuse) a woman wakes up in a bunker to a captor who tells her that the world has fallen to alien apocalypse. I think this movie elevates the original Cloverfield in pretty much every way. Again, super tense and moody. The conflict revolves around whether or not the captor is being truthful.

Train to Busan: (tw: extreme VB and disturbing imagery) a man and his daughter are on a train when a zombie hops on at the last minute. It’s Korean with an all-Asian cast; Choi Woo-shik co-stars. I definitely wouldn’t watch if you’re scared of blood and gore. It’s very gross and violent.

12 Monkeys: (tw: ableism, violence) a man from the 2030s is sent back to the 1990s to prevent the plague that will end the world. I think the aesthetics of this are really cool but otherwise it’s not a favorite. But I think it appeals to people who like apocalypse and time travel stuff!

If you liked THE MATRIX:

Strange Days: (tw: rape, sex, nudity, VB, racism, police brutality) memories can be saved to hard-drives and sold on the black market for exorbitant prices. Very problematic and triggering presentation of rape, but young Angela Basset stars and there’s a condemnation of police brutality that’s still relevant 20+ years after its release.

Upgrade: (tw: ableism, VB, fridging) a disabled man installs an AI in his spine to help him move and investigate the murder of his wife. The premise is glaringly ableist and I feel weird even recommending it tbh but it’s got great visuals and a few good twists.

Altered Carbon: (tw: VB, weird interracial body switching, uhhh I haven’t finished this one IDK) in a society where human bodies are interchangeable, a man wakes up in a new body after 300 years of his mind being dormant. A Latina woman co-stars, two Asian characters in a subplot, a few other POC here and there as well. I think season 2 stars a black man.

eXistenZ: (tw: VB, anti-Asian racism, general weirdness? IDK it’s hard to describe. There are guns made out of bones and weirdly sexual visuals.) after someone tries to assassinate her, a video game designer and her bodyguard must play through her virtual reality game in order to save the only copy of the game.

Minority Report: (tw: VB, eye removal/insertion) all crimes are predicted and criminals reported before they are committed. The main character is preemptively accused of murder. This one is really white but it was one of the first movies that got me into sci fi. Early 2000s Colin Farrell <3.

If you liked WESTWORLD:

Humans: (tw: uncanny valley, objectification) androids are household helpers and public assistants throughout Britain until one day they start developing consciences. It hits a lot of the themes of Westworld without all the unnecessary pretentiousness, “edginess,” and “grittiness,” and it stars Gemma Chan and Colin Morgan!!

Blade Runner 2049: (^) an android is ordered to find and kill a human/android hybrid. It’s not without its issues but it’s one of my favorite movies of all time, right up there with Alien. So beautiful, so thematic, so thought-provoking (to me, anyway. I know a lot of people thought it was way too slow).

Ex Machina: (^) a man is invited to a private estate to help test the intelligence of an android. It’s kind of predictable imo but you know Oscar Isaac and Sonoya Mizuno are in it so we have to stan, and so is Domhnall Gleeson, for the SW fans! I like how isolated and quiet it feels.

I Am Mother: (tw: blood, gaslighting) after an extinction event, a young woman is raised by a lone android in a human repopulation facility until one day a woman knocks. It starts off slow and a bit generic, but I’m obsessed with the 2nd and 3rd acts of this movie---good acting, dialogue, and fantastic visuals. It has that same isolated feel as Ex Machina with only three characters, all of which are women/woman-coded!!!

If you liked ALIEN (space gothic):

Battlestar Galactica (2004-2008 reboot): (tw: genocide, war, colonization, VB, uncanny valley, rape, infidelity) space opera that follows humanity as it fights the ever-evolving and powerful enemy of their own creation: androids named Cylons. Um? I  L O V E  THIS SHOW SO MUCH and I truly do think it’s everything sci fi should be. There is a really unfortunate Miss Saigon-esque romance plot in season 1 and a lazily-written love triangle involving a black woman in season 3, but otherwise it’s one of my all-time favorites and I highly recommend. It’ll spin your mind and tug your heartstrings for years.

Black Mirror: Men Against Fire: (tw: genocide, war, nudity) soldiers in the near future protect citizens from mutant zombies, but one soldier starts experiencing strange hallucinations in the field. This is such an underrated Black Mirror episode starring a black man. There’s brief objectification of a black woman but it’s very anti-military and it has an interesting sterile aesthetic that reminds me of Alien.

High Life: (tw: rape, black holes/space anxiety, very disturbing) prisoners are given the option to join a space expedition and serve as experimental subjects en route to a black hole. Please please stay away if you are triggered by sexual violence of any kind. There’s almost no physical violence in this movie but it’s psychologically haunting imo.

The Faculty: (tw; VB, drug use) high schoolers discover their teachers are being possessed by an invading alien race. I LOVE THIS MOVIE LMFAOOOO. The cast is SO wild---Elijah Wood, John Oliver, Usher, Salma Hayek, Josh Hartnett??? And I’m probably forgetting more. The combination of the cast, the terrible dialogue, and shitty special effects is PEAK comedy imo. But bear in mind it’s bloody!!

Prometheus: (tw: body horror, VB, uncanny valley) a crew of scientists heads on a deep space mission to find the aliens who created the human race. A prequel to Alien, but I kind of view it as its own thing. Despite the plot holes, I love this movie too! It was one of my sci fi gateways and the visuals are stunning. It’s pretty gory though so if that’s not your thing stay away.

Life: (tw: extreme VB) a lesser Alien, but it provides all the space gothic tropes (jokey crew, shots of space, really pretty spaceship, everyone dies, creepy alien) with a well-known cast---Gyllenhaal, Reynolds, etc.

The X Files: (tw: a few episodes contain 90s racism, sexism, queerphobia etc but you can skip them) a lot of people have watched this so I barely have to explain, but it’s one of my favorites. Two FBI agents investigate multiple aliens and get involved in government conspiracies along the way. A good gateway!

A Quiet Place: (tw: child loss, VB, tension) I think most people know what this is about too. Alien apocalypse with aliens that hunt by sound. The daughter in the family is deaf, and so is the actress who portrays her. The representation of deafness was critically acclaimed.

[mikeymagee]

Hello! I was reading through the notes on your post about Black Panther and I'm confused about some things. What's wrong with non-black POC aspiring to achieve the same representation that black folks got with Black Panther?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting representation. There’s also nothing wrong with demanding good representation for an underrepresented group of people. 

The problem however, is that a lot of these discussions happen after Black people have made strides for themselves. I’m not sure if you were around during the #OscarsSoWhite controversy back in 2015/2016, but I certainly was. April Reign, a Black woman created the hashtag as a means of getting better representation for all marginalized groups (including Black people, NBPOC, LGBT, Women, people with disabilities, etc) Now the people who spoke up the most during this were Black people (and that’s not to say there weren’t NBPOC’s. and other marginalized voices speaking up, but Black people got most of the attention (whether because we were louder, or because of hypervisibility or what have you) and Black people got most of the brunt and criticism. Saying that we’re “Just looking for things to be upset about” and “This doesn’t even really matter” and people were all up in Ms. Reign’s mentions with their racist shit. 

Once the controversy hit the big stage, suddenly more and more NBPOC were beginning to speak up, but when they did, it was only to criticize Black people for not placing ALL POC’s in the limelight. 

Look at the #NotYourMule tag on Twitter for more information (and there were plenty of think pieces on the hashtag as well). 

It’s like, when Black people advocate for something we’re always “Complaining too much and that’s why we’re behind” but once our voices and issues come to the forefront of conversations, suddenly other groups demand that we “quiet down” so they can “speak” even though there’s nothing stopping them from advocating for their own issues. 

like when MIA criticized Beyonce for not speaking about Muslim lives when she had the perfect opportunity to speak on those issues herself.

Or when Ming Na Wen only spoke up about #OscarsSoWhite when it was time to criticize Chris Rock (a Black man) for not being “inclusive enough”

Or when Gina Rodriguez kept opening her mouth to belittle Black women and the strides Black people have done in the entertainment industry (many of whom are/were Afro-Latinas)  

Or when Aziz Ansari in that episode of Master of None pretty much threw shade a black people because “We have Beyonce and other Black people to advocate for our issues while Asians don’t”

Or when Salma Hayek spoke over Jessica Williams when she was trying to talk about her experiences being a Black woman. 

Or every Black history month when I, and many other people I follow/know have to explain that 1. There are other months that celebrate the history of non-white people and 2: No, it’s not Black people’s fault that they may not get as much attention as BHM.

I remember when Aquaman was first making the rounds on the Twitter verse and there were plenty of people pretty much demanding that Black people show up for Aquaman the same way we did for Black Panther. There seems to be an undercurrent of entitlement to our labor, our voices,  our movements, and everything else we do.     

And these are just a few examples. They only ever seem to find their voices when Black people are making headway for out own issues (and again, that’s not to say ALL NBPOC do this, but enough do that it is a sticking point for a lot of Black people.) 

I’ll even give you another example. I’m a gay man, and in the 2000′s the biggest phrase for the LGBT movement was “Gay is the New Black” as if Black people had “had their turn” and needed to step aside and let “The New Minority” take the spotlight. And what that did was not only appropriate Black Civil Rights iconography, but also erased Black Queers (like myself) and made it seem like we didn’t deal with both antiblack racism and homophobia at the same time. People are more than happy to take our history and our iconography to make strides for themselves, while also erasing and ignoring Black people they come in contact with. Why? 

I’m all for solidarity. I’m all for working together so that everyone can have a voice and good representation, but I am not here for other groups trying to make Black people feel guilty for trying and making strides for our community. 

And Crazy Rich Asians, Aquaman and Coco all did very well in the Box Office, and yet I don’t see any think pieces demanding that we have a “Mexican Aquaman” or a “Polynesian Crazy Rich Asians”  or an “Asian Coco”. And why should we? Each of those films were beautiful in how they portrayed their varying cultures  and no one is saying “We need a Non-Asian/Non-Mexican/Non-Polynesian” version of these narratives, but for some reason that’s what everyone seems to say whenever we get a Black film.

Yes, I want inclusion and diversity in all facets of our entertainment but I’m sick of being made to feel guilty about taking pride in seeing how wonderful and beautiful Black people can be and are. 

EDITED: I edited out a term in my response that can be considered offensive towards the Disabled community, thanks to the recommendation of  @beefnap.  

[jfg22]

The more I read into asexuality. The more I realize I’m asexual af. I’m definitely demisexual and graysexual more specifically. Also hearing my friend’s friend talk about her kinks is like whoa I have never felt more asexual because I’m not interested at all in talking about sex or kinks.

I have spent numerous time in a male strip club thinking I am in no way sexually attractive to men in that setting. Sure they are aesthetically pleasing but I wasn’t thinking I want to get to know any of them better. Yet I’ve been to a female strip club and I’m aroused but also weirded out because I respect women and I don’t know what is the level of inappropriate touching in that setting. In addition, to this I also find some transwomen and transmen beautiful af. In fact, I have made out with a transwomen and I also made out with lesbians. That being said I find certain cis-hetero men and cis-women attractive but....that doesn’t mean I necessarily mean I want to have sex with them. 

And yes I’ve had a boyfriend but I’ve no interest in having one at the moment. I have no interest in having sex with anyone right now. Not even with myself! I need some semblance of bond, attraction etc. I remember having sex with my ex boy-friend and towards the end of the relationship I wasn’t even remotely sexually aroused. I also had a lot of male hookups but I didn’t really care to have a relationship with them because they were kind of assholes.  

I always thought what is wrong with me but maybe I’m just me. Pansexual, asexual hot mess of a person. lol. I tried dating apps and I can’t say that I found myself attracted to many people. I thought maybe they’re cute but that doesn’t mean I wanted to jump the gun and have sex with random people. There was one I liked but he didn’t like me back enough because he ghosted me. The other one was semi-attractive but in the long run I can’t say that I cared to be a relationship with him either. He was just sort of vanilla and boring. I’m fairly certain I can’t be with another white guy again... unless he’s some sort of other race. For the record my ex was Polish American. I always have this hang up of oh god does he like me? Or am I fulfilling some sort of a weird Latina fetish this white guy has? Meaning does he think I’m girlfriend material or he thinks i’m good enough to fuck and that’s it. Maybe I’ve had bad experiences with white American males but you get my point. It’s just psychologically exhausting to deal with that shit. And I don’t want to deal with that again. At least I knew from my ex that he loved me for who I was at the time we were together. I remember he was my friend before I developed feelings for him. 

It should be noted that I’m generally picky as fuck. Meaning I like what I like. I find dark hair attractive and dark eyes. Generally don’t find blue or green eyes attractive in the least bit or blonde or red hair for that matter. Science says you like people genetically similar. I myself have dark hair and eyes by the way. I generally think some Asian men are hot as fuck. Maybe because I hooked up with a Filipino guy who looked like an Asian Joseph Gordon Levitt but shit when my friend said we looked similar I didn’t see it until she pointed it out. Also I spoke to him long enough to be like oh we have things in common this is cool! Again....bonding. Which also explains why my love language is quality time AND physical touching comes second. 

I had a sort of one night stand but I had already been talking to him for awhile before we hooked up. He dumped me but looking back I didn’t like him in the long run because he came back around and I thought he was needier than I was. I’m needy for the record so there can only be room for one needy-ish in a relationship! In my defense after therapy I am not as needy as before....I can’t say this with certainty for the mere fact that I haven’t been in a serious relationship in a long ass time. Like I don’t even know how long ago that was... maybe 10 years ago? smeh.

As I look back I can’t say I’m into hooking up either. Yes I had a few guys I found sexually attractive but this was only after we bonded on some level. So before you go on thinking I’m a slut or weird....know that I can count all the men I’ve slept with on one hand. Also the idea of dating 2 people at the same time is kind of repulsive to me for some reason. I’m not ruling it out or judging people who do but it’s not my style for sure.

In terms of sexual attraction things I find attractive are arbitrary. Yes I find dark hair and dark eyes attractive, but that doesn’t mean I can’t like a guy with hazel eyes. My ex had hazel eyes and light brown hair btw. Also I know I say I like tall guys but I’ve had sex with guys who are shorter and in no way doesn’t that mean I rule out anyone below 6 feet tall. As long as they are an inch taller than me I’m ok with that. And here is where it gets arbitrary as fuck. I have made out with lesbians who have dark hair and fair skin but I made out with a black trans women. Again I’m not ruling gender expression out. I definitely not interested in dating apps of any kind. I noticed I’m more productive when I’m not in a relationship.

Also I am not interested in getting married or having kids. I know women my age are either dying to get married or are married with kids. I can’t say I’m the type of person that was planning their wedding dress since I was a little girl. Definitely not ruling it out the possibility but, I’m not in a rush to get married by a certain age. In fact, I’d be happy just finding someone who isn’t an asshole and treats me right. It’s funny one of cis-hetero female friends asks me if I”m every having kids and my answer has always been the same. Maybe I haven’t met the right person, but I honestly can’t say I have my biological clock ticking telling me to have a child anytime soon. The idea of having one is daunting af. As a survivor of sexual abuse, all the racist and transphobic/homophobic shit that’s been going on my entire life I can honestly say I think it’s rather sadistic to bring a child into this world. Not to mention the fact that global warming will fuck up the planet and I’m not sure if that’s going to be reversible but rather just extend our quality of life for a few years. People are assholes. I’ve been hurt many times. I’m sure I’ve hurt people too not even meaning to. I have no desire to bring a child into this hell hole we call a planet. 

On a more positive note, I’m perfectly happy being single. When I think of the future potential relationship. I want someone to love me unconditionally. Someone kind, open minded, tolerant of my LGBTQ friends/family, (I can’t be dating no transphobes or homophobes, the only phobia permitted is germophobia!) generous to others (not just myself), thoughtful, humble, attractive by my standards. Mostly someone who will be there for me till one of us dies. Someone who sticks around even when life gets hard. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes. And I know for a fact I can get that. It’s not even the law of attraction it’s just a certainty that I know within myself that I will be with someone of a different ethnic race than mine. I’d also like to have 2 cats and a cute little puppy. Preferably one that looks like a little fuzzy brown stuffed bear. I’d like to have a cute cozy house. I don’t desire a mansion. I need someone who isn’t going to be a little pretentious fuck and is okay with not having the most expensive bullshit because in the long run that doesn’t matter. I know I am a writer and I can live off that eventually. I just need to buckle down and finish my shit which is taking longer than anticipated. I procrastinate writing several things (like this post.hehe) but also I like reading things to make me a better writer. That being said maybe I’m not as weird as I thought I’m just fantastically pansexual, asexual, unique af. Happy Pride month y’all! 

To my LGBT friends and people reading this, I love you and desire that one day we can live in a world where you no longer have to fear for your safety and people will love and respect you for who you are regardless of how you identify or who you are attracted to. I have faith that the younger generation will be more tolerant than past generations. I hope to instill that in my nieces. I remember I used to have a shirt that said “Labels are for jars and you are not a jar.” I don’t remember what happened to it but I can honestly say that always stuck with me. 

Today is my best friends birthday and 8 days ago it was my cousin’s birthday and I can honestly say that I have loved them regardless of what anyone says about them. And I will stand up proudly for them if anyone starts saying transphobic/homophobic shit. I will love them and respect them until the day I die. (Hopefully that won’t be anytime soon). I am blessed to have them both in my life and teach me to be more mindful of what is going on in the world. And an overall better human being. I take the life lessons they teach me with me for the rest of my life and hope that I can be of somewhat comfort to them in knowing that regardless of what happens to us they will never lose that love, appreciation and respect I have for them. 

[buddha-in-disguise]

Representation for LGBTQ on screen

#LGBTQ V STRAIGHT REPRESENTATION IN #SUPERGIRL

Please consider this. The LGBTQ Community have to fight for everything. Straight communities get it as standard.

So when people ask for Supercorp and other LGBTQ ships to happen please take a moment to think about how they feel.

Just below is a picture to show the stark difference in Supergirl. To put it in context. There have been a minimum of 19 canon couples in the last 4 seasons. A minimum.

We’ve had 2 Lesbian couples, (one former, one current) and a one night stand (Sara and Alex in the crossover). So only one canon LGBTQ relationship at any one time, compared to multiple that have run on the show.

That’s it. One canon LGBTQ relationship at any one time.

If you just break it down into the most basic numbers, we have 2 canon relationships versus at least 19 talked about or shown past & present.

As a straight person, you have the luxury of choosing a ship you prefer out of a nice lengthy list.

LGBTQ people get one choice at any one time (although we can support both).

We can’t all be expected to like the automatic options offered to us on that low number of canon relationships.

Turn that around for hypothetical purposes to try and illustrate this. You have two canon ships on that list on heterosexual couples. Let’s say Kara and James was your first option, then James and Lena as the canon couples on the show. That’s all you have. Yet you see something between Kara and Mon-El - but they aren’t canon & people argue never can be because James is Black, Mon-El is white. You’d be upset, or in some cases mad right? That you shouldn’t place those sort of limits, because it is obvious the chemistry between Kara and Mon-El is there. Isn’t it? Don’t you deserve to have that choice?

You might think this is an extreme way to illustrate it, but it is our reality. That is how it feels being LGBTQ, seeing all these options - but you have one or two at best. So, people see and seek others that they can relate to, and of course it isn’t canon because they have no other choice, because no other potential for a canon LGBTQ couple exists.

This is why LGBTQ crave and seek greater parity with heterosexual couples on TV.

So the implicit message when you have an entire franchise of heterosexuals, (barring minimal difference,) is that anything else should be kept hidden, out of sight, out of mind.

But here’s the thing. We aren’t suddenly everywhere or pushing out your ship or canon character. We’ve always existed in your spaces. We deserve the equality of choice that we currently don’t have.

Even today, most TV Shows, movies etc are packed to the brim with straight people.

LGBTQ people deserve representation because there are far more of us than you think. We aren’t some weird section of society anymore. We’re a vibrant community who not only deserve, but need representation, especially if the relentless bullying and torment of the LGBTQ community is ever going to end. To give that kid who doesn’t understand themselves yet the chance to work it out, so they know they’re not alone, or a freak.

To you, it’s just a gay relationship where there could have been another straight one, but to someone that relationship could be (or is) the validation they needed that they aren’t some abomination or sinful mistake. They get the message that they’re valid, they’re wonderful, and they have every right to love and be loved.

Pushing for LGBTQ representation doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Sometimes we have to be louder simply to be heard.

So until you listen to the people who can represent the groups in ways you can’t, you are part of the problem.

This actually goes way beyond being LGBTQ. We need more LGBTQ, more Asian, more Black, more Latina, even more women on screen. We need shows to fully reflect society around us, to show the melting pot of all it holds. To show certain religions or ethnicity not as a threat, but as normal as anything you might be used to.

Until that isn’t just recognised but absolutely understood you have no right to criticise when we try to change it.

Acknowledge your privilege. It isn’t your fault it exists. What is your fault is if you don’t use that privilege to not only advocate, but understand the sheer discrimination & discrepancy that we (and others) face. Use that privilege to listen, really listen & look at what you take for granted because it happens by default, & then look at what we have to fight for.

If you can’t understand your privilege, if you can’t acknowledge where you might need to make those changes - you are not the LGBTQ ally you might claim to be.

We face an uphill battle just to get recognition from the powers that be. We need ally’s to step up with us, not just when it suits you, but to step up even if you don’t fully understand what we see and crave. We don’t ask you support our ship per se - but support our right to ask for it. Don’t dismiss it because “you already have the representation,” or “it isn’t canon to the character.” As I say, I’m not asking anyone to like a ship in itself, because we can’t all like the same characters or dynamic, but we do have a right to ask, because if we didn’t, we wouldn’t even have the scant representation we do get.

We exist, yet still have too little true representation beyond the same white heterosexual privilege.

We are not living in a vacuum.

We all see different aspects in characters. This isn’t asking you to like them, but to truly understand why others see them as a pairing for LGBTQ.

To acknowledge we all deserve that equality.

Oh one last thought. If you are LGBTQ and you don’t understand why this post is needed, then it is likely you see your area of representation already, or haven’t really understood or thought about how diverse the LGBTQ community is. As I say, we are a big melting pot, and we have to get representation that allows for us all, not limited to just what you know.

Here endeth today’s musings.

[latinxcastingmanifesto]

Your questions answered

Recently you tweeted us questions. Gabi and Quiara spent a day eating lunch, sunbathing, and responding to what you asked:

@gmorningstunner: If you are an Afro-Latinx woman, and you look more African than Latina, how likely is it that you will be cast as a Latinx role?

A casting director cannot legally ask about your identity when casting. But if you want your identity to be known, you are free to and encouraged to share it! So, please do go audition for those Latinx roles, and consider sharing your identity on your photo/resume for that particular role.

Self-designation and self-id is an under appreciated casting tool! And trust me, the director, writer, and casting director want as much information about you as possible! But they’re not allowed to ask, plus if they have a more limited sense of the Latinx diaspora then they really may not know.

QUIARA: For writers, we need to consider ourselves producers, too, and push very hard for Afro-Latinx casting as normal and not exceptional. I have had to educate producers and casting directors that the cousins in my Elliot Trilogy plays, well, one cousin can be a black Latina and the other cousin a white Latino, and that this reflects the reality of many Latinx families. Many producers and casting directors didn’t know this and it was absolutely my job to advocate for the truth and integrity of my work. I have given up expecting other people to know my truth and reality, and I say it aloud and clearly and with love and as early in the process as possible. Say these things at the very first meetings, or it may be too late.

Another call to action for playwrights: designate on the script that your casting must include Afro-Latinx. Or say that loud and clear on the first casting conversation.

@SalvadorVasqu10: Why are stories of the latinx community still to this day some of the most un-produced works? How can we make Latinx stories more accessible to all? When are you and @TanyaSaracho gonna team up for a musical?

Who picks up a play and reads it? Not necessarily our family members.

Call to action: professors, help us spread the word about Latinx work by assigning Latinx reading.

Call to action: artists, we need to produce our own work and each other’s work in order to get it to the community. Downtown institutions are our allies, but if we rely exclusively on preexisting production pipelines, the community will remain on the fringes. Our assignment is to figure out how to center the community as artistic creators and producers.

Call to action: we are the living library. Keep creating and producing. We need a few more generations of this work. We need to reach a critical mass.

Call to action: swap reading lists with your Latinx theater allies. Spread the word about the work you know.

(As to Tanya Saracho, I can’t wait to world-build with that FEROCIOUS artist. Till then, I’m blessed to call myself a fan and ally.)

@dbirdsoprano: How can we do more to address the imbalance of privilege in representation onstage?

Call to action: playwrights, literally address it. Write poor characters, working class characters. Write non-college-educated characters. Show various family structures. Break silence.

Call to action: producers, invest in the leadership of POC. Not internships, top positions. Scrutinize and criticize seasons centering wealthy and well-educated characters.

Call to action: universities, teach about professional sustainability (grant-writing, for example) in addition to art curriculum so poor and working class students can stay in it for the the long hall and we don’t lose them for financial reasons.

@AlexChurchyG: As a Young Latina director, who can I look to for role models in an industry of old white men?

WOCA  (Women of Color in the Arts) is a mentorship program for women of color in the theater.

Latina women have been directing plays and kicking ass. Latinx Theatre Commons is a phenomenal community of Latinx theater professionals including working Latina directors.

If you network with someone, follow up. It is not their job to chase you. Chase them! Invite them to coffee! They may say no. But they may say yes.

As Latinas, we’ve been trained to not ask for help. To be caretakers and never be on the receiving end. Stop it! Our spirits can ask for help.

@LaMeraFeli: I’m not in theater myself but have a daughter… can we talk about body type? Roles for the llenitas and the gorditas?

Make sure your daughter knows how to write. Make sure she’s jazzed about producing. If she’s sitting around waiting to get cast in gordita roles created by others, it’s not gonna happen or it will be brutal.

She should write her own stories and act in them. Or she should find a writer friend who gets who she is and ask them to create monologues for her.

Teach her to find her village. She’s not gonna do it alone.

Gabi literally started an entire theater company for this reason. Power Street Theatre Company. They are amazing and breaking new ground in Philly. Come to Philly and join their journey. Or create something like that in your own backyard.

@itsnikkig_: When are we going to start casting some fat Latinx actresses?!

Now. Writers, put ALL BODY TYPES in your actual character descriptions. Producers, put ALL BODY TYPES in your casting calls. You have to write it in as a clear directive or it will be more skinny bodies, always and forever.

@starmacosta: Is hiring an agent necessary? My mom does most of the work when it comes to booking or auditions…

GABI: I’ve always had that question myself. In Philly most of the actors I know don’t have agents. This may be contingent on where you live.

QUIARA: Find local working actors whose career you admire and ask them. For playwrights, no an agent is not necessary until you have a production contract in hand, or an offer from a producer. Then you get an agent. Before then, you have to get your own work produced. Use google to figure out which theaters have produced work that most resonates with your own. Submit your work to them. Or find your fellow travelers, find your village, and produce together.

@saybarra: How do we make space for aaaaalllll the variations of what it means to be Latinx in this country? In casting, in writing, in subject matter, in form, etc etc etc etc

The Latinx Theater Commons is very diverse in terms of pan-Latinx community. Find organizations doing the work, and they may not necessarily be theater groups. They may be drum circles, community college teachers, prayer circles. If you really can’t find a space you need, then it’s time to create the space. Bring the space into your living room or local park. We must always be creating space.

We are a diaspora, so how do we both engage all the specific variations of who we are while also embracing fluidity and openness? Those with more cultural leverage can use that to create spaces for underrepresnted Latinx stories: for instance, Latinx queer stories, Latinx trans stories, Afro-Latinx stories, biracial stories.

@zjriv: How do you manage your ideas? Every time I get writers block it’s because another comes along and I can’t stop thinking about it. Then another idea. Then another idea.

QUIARA: Sometimes you get 30 pages into an idea and can’t take it any further. That’s ok. Let it go. Let the new ideas continue to blossom in your imagination at their own speed. If they are still growing six months later, there may be a play there. Write what is speaking to you most today. No need to ignore it. The other stuff will still be there tomorrow. But also, letting ideas blossom is enough, they do not always need to be written out yet. I just had new insights for a play I thought up in 2003. I had forgotten about the play completely and then it tapped my shoulder over 15 years later.

@sleeplessinmit: What opportunities are available for presenting blended-language or Spanish-language works of theatre? What tools are available to make them accessible to all audiences?

Repertorio Espanol in New York has been doing this work for a very long time! Reach out to them and ask if they know of other bilingual theaters in your area. Ask what tools they use for this work. Suerte!

Also check out Spanglish theaters in your area. Miracle Theater in Portland, Power Street Theatre in Philly, Urban Theater Company in Chicago are just a few. Make allies and seek out mentors!

@omixmix: my plays are nonrealistic and include Spanglish. How do I shift attention to working on my style of nonrealism when everybody else seems to latch on to the “challenges of a foreign language”?

See above answer about Spanglish theaters. There are probably some in your area!

Also, stick to your guns. Live your truth, speak your truth, write your truth, and that’s what matters. You don’t need anyone’s permission to create, and you also cannot control others. Articulate to yourself and others why this work speaks to you and is important to you.

QUIARA: I have had to get into a deep practice as a playwright that I have no control over an audience. I only have control over the words I create. I have to believe in my writing, whether or not it’s what people want.

@ajdm: How do the Iberian colonial conquests in what we now call Asia (east, south, and Pacific) and those diasporic movements figure into this conversation?

Exactly. They do. What about collaborations and bridge-building between local Asian theater groups and Latinx theater groups? This would be fire. Let them know you’re hungry for this. Let them know how you willparticipate in bringing this question to the stage!

For instance, Power Street Theater Company (Gabi’s company) supports the Asian Arts Initiative. Gabi attends their town halls, though she’s Puerto Rican. She listens, observes and supports. And when she’s invited to share, she does. World building together, and doing the work.

Showing up for each other.

@alejandroraya_: I find casting requiring Latinx are given less reach than castings for other POC. Many projects in need of POC are often wide searching, but it seems casting for Latinx feels somewhat inaccessible. How do you feel casting directors can create larger reach for Latinx artist?

This is not necessarily true about other POC groups. A lot of communities have limited casting access and are underserved. This may be for budget reasons, and also because the roles simply aren’t being produced.

Create a list of all the Latinx folks you know, find out who the casting director is, and send it to them. Are there Latinx casting lists and resource groups in your area? The Kilroys did this cool experiment about creating a visible google-searchable list of unproduced plays by womxn. This may be a neat thing to do in your area for Latinx actors. The internet is a great tool for harnessing visibility!

@mingarla: If you don’t sing and dance as a Latina actress, is there any chance of finding work in theater? Seriously thinking of giving up my Equity membership.

GABI: I seriously relate to that.

QUIARA: This is hard. As a playwright, I have recently pressed pause on my playwriting life. For various reasons. It’s ok to step aside. I think life as an actor must be hard, because you’re at the whims of writers, producers, directors, etc. However, if you’re an actor who’s also a writer, designer, producer, then you can start to create work for yourself.

GABI: Another option is to find other paying jobs that sustain you, that you love, because you will need that income. If you’re only sustained by being an actor in someone else’s thing, then the reality is that’s a hard road.

[heyangelfire]

a few months ago i wrote this essay for the APIDA newsmagazine i was formerly part of about calls for diversity and how transparent/erasing they can be 

like how some people and even organized groups on twitter and elsewhere would take the opportunity of the success of diverse films with mostly Black casts to shout about how diversity was more than 2 races and Latinx and Asian people needed rep too 

it wasn’t as bad this year as in previous years post-awards ceremonies, but still. it’s somewhat true but there are ways to say it w/o piggybacking on other people’s buzz and thereby discrediting the incredible strides their films have made. our communities need to be doing their own work 

i also brought up how an incredible part of having so much opportunity for diversity is that we get previously underrepresented groups taking center stage, for example, with Moonlight, in the form of Afro-Latinx rep with Juan’s (played by Mahershala Ali, which, again, underrepresented success) identity centered on being Cuban and Jharrel Jerome publicly stating that he identifies as Afro-Latino (he has Dominican heritage). So like, we have Latinx rep, but not rep that non-Black people want to readily claim. I think there were similar examples from other films that i cant remember, but 

I just thought about it again when I saw Gina Rodriguez’s tweet about how she was happy Marvel and DC were doing so well with diversity and women rep but that we need Latinx rep too 

And many people in the notes agreed, but being more knowledgeable about the franchises, were quick to point out what we do already have (Tessa Thompson in upcoming Thor Ragnarok and Zoe Saldana in GotG are both Afro-Latina). Again, it’s not perfect, they are two lighter skinned women, one of whom plays a green-skinned character, but they still exist. I think even in our calls for more (and more inclusive) rep we should be careful to recognize what already exists, because otherwise it is too much like erasure. I do not think it is a coincidence that this mostly happens with Afro-Latinx characters, either. 

People also pointed out what should be inevitably coming down the pike - America Chavez and Miles Morales (Young Avengers + Spiderman), Latina Catwoman (? not sure if this was confirmed?), etc. 

I don’t fault Gina for this because I’m sure her heart was in the right place, but I just think we shouldn’t be taking the cultural renaissance (of sorts,,, again it’s very imperfect) that we’re currently having for granted, because as we can see it is already being taken away in some places (@ all the diverse TV shows that have been canceled recently) and as history has shown, these tend to come in waves with intense periods of drought in between. 

If we want to work towards better and more sustainable/long-lasting media representation, i don’t really think there’s a need to be making these flippant <140 characters over-generalized calls for diversity that don’t specifically acknowledge what’s going right/going wrong bc it just comes across as slightly alienating rather than bridge-building. extending a hand and investing yourself more thoroughly in media, making suggestions and using connections based on knowledge, experience and a genuine passion for increasing diversity in an inclusive way seems like a more thorough way to go about it. 

we’re trying to emphasize that we’re not just quotas to be filled or boxes to be checked off, but to me that’s exactly how it seems with tweets/comments like this. i don’t want to see a random Latinx character thrown in as the short friend who has a couple one-liners and occasionally hams up their accent for laughs, or as the hypersexualized siren, or even if it’s not one of these overdone stereotypes, I don’t necessarily need a random character just to be there. I’d rather have a character with a story, purpose, a reason to exist and a richness to them that complements the rest of a richly and thoughtfully diverse cast. And some acknowledgement of mixed-race (even non-White European mixed-race) characters would be nice too. 

[coolthetruth]

Candid Conversation with tsprincessdiva AKA Rachel

Hey guys this is a little interview I did with Rachel. She is very cool and down to earth like I said earlier. Thanks again. Sorry if the text looks weird. First time doing this. Enjoy.

coolthetruth

So where are you from?

tsprincessdiva

Well I was born in caguas , Puerto Rico and now I live in Lyons , il

coolthetruth

When did you come stateside?

tsprincessdiva

I moved to Florida which I was raised in Florida since I was 4 years old , I moved from Puerto Rico to Florida at the age of 4

coolthetruth

Why did you come to Chicago?

tsprincessdiva

I came to Chicago to start my new life. When I was younger I was very confused on who I was , so I left my family and started exploring live here in Chicago which started my transition

Life

coolthetruth

When did you realize that you were a woman?

tsprincessdiva

When I was born and saw my moms pussy I was done lol. Well I knew something was different about me since I can remember. I was a very feminine young child and my family used to beat me. Especially my father he wasn't having it

Can u see how femine I was lol

Even had booty shorts on in this pic lol

coolthetruth

lol no I cant tell

I don't think most young boys are really displaying overt masculinity at that age

tsprincessdiva

I was very feminine

coolthetruth

I don't remember a lot of 4 year olds gripping their nuts and screaming where the hos at that age lol

tsprincessdiva

Growing up I was a big feminist

Lmao I was sucking dick at 2 years old Hun lol

First time ever putting a penis on my mouth

I remember like it was yesterday

coolthetruth

2 years old?

you can remember that far?

tsprincessdiva

Yea my cousin and i

Yes I was like maybe 2 or 3

But yes that was something dramatic in my life so I do remember

coolthetruth

you didn't get caught did you?

tsprincessdiva

Perfectly

Nope

One time I did when I was 14

I got caught sucking my best friend dick

I was grounded for months

And I was not allowed to hang out with him anymore after we got caught and when I was 14 that was my first puppy love

 tsprincessdiva

We would sneak in the woods and see each other and talk

And then we would have to walk out different times so no one would see us together

coolthetruth

So your family never accepted you?

tsprincessdiva

Eventually he hated me all this time til this day

Nope they still don't accept me

My mom kinda

But she still uses male pro nouns

coolthetruth

So you started transitioning when you left from your family in FL?

tsprincessdiva

Yes , I started my transition over two years ago

And I'm not really 24 in actually 29

coolthetruth

Now I remember the CL ads and I thought to myself for someone starting out you look pretty good and natural

But it was obviously difficult transitioning

tsprincessdiva

Yup that was me I used to go my Raquel or Rachel on cl

Very

coolthetruth

mind sharing those stuggles?

 tsprincessdiva

Well my struggles where I had a lot, fitting into society was the biggest struggle I had. And feeling comfortable with myself. Another struggle with man no one wanted to love me, they all jus used me for sex

tsprincessdiva

A lot of guys don't understand that the reason why we escort is because we don't feel like men treat us with respect or treat us like women. They treat us like animals

Another struggle I'm going through right now is loneliness. Transsexuals are evil and they want to destroy you as much as they can. All trannys want to be better than others so friendships between transsexuals is very dangerous

They can

And no man wants to date a transexual escort unlesss he's old and ugly lol

coolthetruth

You'd be surprised lol

tsprincessdiva

Another struggle was finding a place to stay my family would not except me in their home no more once I started my transition to this day I still have a struggle especially cause I have bad credit

coolthetruth

So what do you look for in a guy? What are your turn ons? Turn offs?

tsprincessdiva

Well I kno a lot of guys are Guna call me racist after this

Cause that all they kno how to do

I really like Latin man, I perfer Latinos only because

I'm Latina and I want to be with another Latino I really love dark hair and dark eyes

A clean man who's not only smart but accepts me for who I am

I've dated a black man before as white Guy's and Asian guy and all types of men

But with I seem to have a good connect more with Latin men only because we both have a lot in common

And mostly because all I kno is too cook Puerto Rican food so lol

coolthetruth

Most people go with people of shared cultures, backgrounds, etc

  coolthetruth

So escorting

whats been your best and worst/craziest experiences?

tsprincessdiva

Ok

tsprincessdiva

With ?? Escorting

coolthetruth

yes

tsprincessdiva

Ur my best experience silly

Lol

Actually one time I had an outcall and I only asked for 400 I walked out with $1500 and we never had sex he was an amazing person. I talk to him till this day and this man has been nothing but amazing to me and in my life

My worse

tsprincessdiva

Was not so long ago I had this guy he's a Sissy Boy and he put on nylons fishnets glasses and he gone off for hours and he made me fucking with a whole bunch of different dildos and then I fucked him he was snorting Coke and smoking cigarettes and then like you keep on fighting and leg shake up on coming out his ass it was the worst

He has shit coming out his ass

Had

He told he it was Guna be messy

coolthetruth

lol

at least he warned you

tsprincessdiva

Lmao

Yea

Was horrible

coolthetruth

so whats the best thing about escorting?

tsprincessdiva

Nothing only the money good

coolthetruth

whats the worst?

tsprincessdiva

And now it's even worse

Worse people making up rumors and telling me I need to lose weight I'm too fat

People saying I'm positive when I kno I'm not

And that ter review some tranny "Galen " wrote about me

Saying I shitted on someone's hand bullshit

coolthetruth

lol

so obviously you aren't an escort all day

what do you on your free time?

tsprincessdiva

Obviously

Lol

coolthetruth

Whats you hobbies?Interest?

tsprincessdiva

Usually I'm out clubbing cooking cleaning relaxing pampering myself getting my hair done and my nails done and just running errands

But I'm about to start school soon

coolthetruth

what are you going to school for?

tsprincessdiva

Cosmetology that's all I'm good at really

coolthetruth

lol you say that so negatively

coolthetruth

So what are your long term goals? Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years?

tsprincessdiva

Lol

tsprincessdiva

Well my long-term goal is to get out of the industry either get into some porn and stay in school and get a career

Or just quit and just to school and just do me

10 years from now I'm hoping to be in love with a career in a home and fully transitioned to a woman

tsprincessdiva

I will also like to win a transsexual beauty pageant which they have a lot here in Chicago which is one of my goals

coolthetruth

You want to be a porn star?

tsprincessdiva

I do if it happens it happens if it doesn't it It doesn't

coolthetruth

and by fully transition you mean reassignment surgery/

tsprincessdiva

Yes

coolthetruth

Well hopefully you achieve those goals

Now lastly

tsprincessdiva

Thank u

Finally lol

Jk

coolthetruth

for all your blog admirers, thirsty tricks (me lol), chasers, jealous trannys, etc

any thing you want to say or let them know?

tsprincessdiva

Never give up on yourself because at the end of the day you only have yourself, and you only live once. For all my haters sucked his dick get the fuck off my business and worry about urself, and for all my tricks Y'all dont know what you have been missing still for the ones I have not met me yet . And to my regular clientele I love you guys so much you guys know how personal we are together I always try to give you an amazing time always something different and always try to keep myself clean and always make sure I use condoms with every client I have doesn't matter what I want my clients to go home to the wife and kids clean, and discrete .and I cannot stress this enough always use condoms always. And to my special clients regulars that I've been seeing for over a year ,that have seen me transition in the last two years , that You've been there for me . those guys are amazing man those men have been nothing but a gold to me in my life I really do love you guys and really do care for u

.

coolthetruth

Yes guys be safe

Thanks for talking with me

tsprincessdiva

Thank u @coolthetruth can't wait too see u again Hun

[water1oo]

[[MORE]]

this fellow latina, home depot retailer was shook when she found out i was paying for a bunch of new appliances for my parents as a gift. and then i caught myself in the middle of an extremely uncomfortable and racist conversation that i was genuinely left speechless

her: do you have a boyfriend

me: yeah! been dating for almost 3 years

her: wonderful! where’s he from?

me: uhhhhhh like location or race?

her: race

me: white

her: omg amazing!! white men are the best men, they are so much better than all other kinds. i also have a caucasian vet husband and been married for 23 years. white men are so diligent work hard and do everything for their women etc etc etc

i literally didn’t even know how to respond. like my boyfriend just happens to be white, white men ain’t any betterthan poc. she was making claims that white men cook for their girls and shit too and i’m just here like....my asian ex is the only person i’ve ever dated that knew how to cook and regularly did so for me. racist b really thought i thought white men are the shit little does she know how often i shit on white men my boyfriend just got lucky.

[elizabethmhstuff-blog]

My transgender story so far

Hello again internet! This post is very deeply personal, and I’m making myself really emotionally vulnerable revealing some very private details about my life. I’ve anxiously re-read this post many times, fixing it up here and there, over and over again. So, the big news with my life is: about two months ago I realized that I am transgender. When I first started thinking about if I could be transgender I wrote out a list of reasons the idea made sense, to share with trans friends for feedback and with my therapist. Most of this post will be those thoughts, edited a lot from when I first wrote them down.

The story of how I started thinking about possibly being transgender I think is kind of interesting and different. I had pretty much never considered the idea actually until about two months ago, so at twenty-seven years old (and included below are some thoughts I had about why it happened so late). What started me thinking, very much out of nowhere, about if I could be trans was basically playing with filters on Snapchat, ones that add feminine effects to your face (blush, lipstick, eyelashes), and at first just enjoying getting nice comments on social media about them, but after posting them a few times realizing that the pictures made me feel nice in a deep, emotional and also physical way. From there I quickly started connecting those thoughts to a lot of things I’d observed about myself, and did a lot of reading online about transgender people’s experiences with realizing they were trans. And within about half a week the idea of being trans felt very real and solid.

~~~~~

My main evidence for knowing I am transgender is probably that I feel much more right and comfortable, and much more able to feel happy, thinking of myself and living as a woman. A lot of other thoughts I’ve come up with as evidence have to do with having for a long time felt strong positive feelings around femininity/femaleness, and strong negative feelings about masculinity/maleness, in deeply emotional and also physical ways. A note about the list below: I think the point is not that there can be any checklist that can say someone is transgender, but rather, that I came to recognize a pattern of wanting connection with femininity and feeling unhappiness about masculinity. I think explaining why I mostly hadn’t thought about this possibility until this late, at twenty-seven years old, involves a number of different factors having to do with associating my feelings about femininity and masculinity with my strong beliefs around gender equality and feminism, and also with associating those feelings with my romantic and sexual attraction to women.

~~~~~

Some details about reasons I think I am transgender:

A. Thinking of and expressing myself as a woman gives me a happiness that I feel like I have always been missing: a comfortable, exciting happiness.

B. I have for a long time always felt a strong need to spend time with and be around women, in a way that went beyond attraction; being around women often can feel really right for me, and being around men can feel wrong somewhat.

- I have always felt very uncomfortable in (men’s) locker rooms and bathrooms; I remember feeling more comfortable in mixed-sex ones in college.

- Being alone feels more ok and less deeply painful thinking of myself as a woman; it’s possible that I deeply wanted to be around women partly because I wanted to be close to femininity.

C. Negative feelings about masculinity, in myself and in other people

- I’ve often felt very awkward about displaying masculine body language, despite regularly being encouraged to physically act more masculine by parents and relatives; I’ve also been very awkward physically in general.

- I have very negative feelings about stereotypically masculine traits: confidence, aggressiveness, ambition, assertiveness, in myself or in others

- Sometimes it seems like how I feel doesn’t match how I physically react: it’s often hard for me to laugh, or express happiness, excitement, affection.

- I’ve had negative feelings about noticing ways my body is masculine, particularly in contrast to women’s bodies.

- I previously thought I had these feelings just because I strongly wanted to go against gender norms, and also because I have strong negative feelings about my dad having a terrible, poisonous personality in traditional masculine, patriarchal ways.

D. Positive feelings about femininity

- I feel like I have and prioritize expressing stereotypically feminine personality traits: being empathetic, kind, thoughtful, self-aware, careful, nurturing, perfectionistic.

- I have strong, specific positive feelings about details about women like their figures, softness, curves, clothes, physicality.

- Have often thought about things associated with femininity, like physical features, personality traits, clothing, friendships and romantic relationships between women, to an obsessive degree.

- Also small things like girly colors, designs, etc.

E. In sexual experiences (only with women so far) I’ve really enjoyed giving my partners pleasure, but felt uncomfortable with and not really interested in getting (physical) pleasure myself; I’ve also often had feelings of wrongness/regret/anxiety around masturbating.

- Alone, my sexual fantasies have mostly been about lesbian relationships/sex, female masturbation, female pleasure generally; I’ve felt somewhat uncomfortable about male pleasure.

- I previously thought this was just because I disliked the usual gender dynamics around heterosexuality, i.e. the focus typically being on the man’s pleasure.

- I also thought this had to do with sexual side effects from antidepressants and depression.

~~~~~

Why did this thought and realization only occur to me so recently, and so suddenly?

- Especially surprising because I’ve long felt very comfortable and familiar with transgender issues, politics, experiences, and have had close transgender friends going back pretty far.

- I assumed my feelings about masculinity and femininity were just about my political views about gender, and about my attraction to women, and also about strong negative feelings about my dad having a terrible, poisonous personality in traditionally patriarchal, masculine ways

- I have lived in socially liberal environments my whole life, with strong emphases on gender equality in a kind of literal way, and on trying to work against gender roles, so growing up I generally didn’t think much about gender on a personal level.

- I’ve really struggled with thinking about my own happiness and desires, in general in all parts of my life, for a long time (because of upbringing, anxieties, obsessiveness).

- I may possibly have thought of women as generally above and better than me, because of negative feelings about my own value and virtue.

- I mostly saw white, black, and sometimes latina trans women in media and around me; my main image of Asian trans women was probably the stereotype of young trans sex workers that rich men seek out in poor Asian countries. Also, going from being close to many, sometimes mostly Asian people growing up, to being close to very few as an adult, I somewhat associated Asian women with the specific kind of ambitious, high-achieving people in my community growing up that I now feel very distant from.

- Also I probably developed from an early age some general internalized transphobia and feelings of disgust around trans women from books and other reading, and also movies and TV.

- I grew up under heavy pressure to conform, fit in, and not upset other people by doing things differently (except with academic success), training me to not even consider trying things that were too different; I later started to reject that as a young adult.

~~~~~

More minor points:

A. I strongly prefer listening to music made by women or with women singers

B. memory of being in middle school and wearing a pink wig my friend had brought for a costume, and sitting in a girly, kind of Japanese way, on knees like kneeling but with feet out to sides, and feeling nice about that

C. I’ve often picked female characters in video games

D. I was planning to study nursing (after finishing my Human Biology undergraduate degree), and the fact that nurses are mostly women was appealing to me (I thought because I would be going against gender norms).

E. Transitioning would probably be easier for me than for most people, at least in terms of having support from friends, being at a mature age, and living in a relatively socially progressive area; of course I still expect transitioning in general to be hugely difficult, psychologically and socially. ~~~~~ Thanks for reading! I am really pretty nervous about how people will judge this, to be honest!