#But then here comes Dream and he just doesnt do that. Instead he treats him like an equal and someone to respect

[tripamania]

my take on a returning/revived bedman

notes:

got stuck in the backyard for a hot minute after xrd. i like to think that he eventually gets out when asuka comes across him and is all like "well well WELL.... what do we Have Here!!"

he still acts Like That, but is working to become a better person and atone somehow. maybe he spends this time trying to figure out what 'atoning' Means for him.

other than that, he just wants to hang out with delilah and enjoy stuff about life that the two of them havent gotten to until now. and other than That he doesnt rlly know what he wants to do with himself

he likes messing with baiken as a way of showing affection. but when he thinks she's asleep, he'll also rest his head on her lap.

tries to redirect into doing dream magic instead of Nightmare magic.

initially, he's anxious about talking to most people for reals, so he visits them in their dreams at first. i like to think he apologizes to ramlethal here.

has a hard time trusting people because of his experiences with ariels. he wants to make friends, but is still learning how.

when he figures out how to come back to this Plane, the bed stops working. delilah's heartbroken until romeo pops up behind her like aha.. jumpscare! he retains his memories of haunting that damn bed

he and delilah get to hang out and live life and be kids, and also engage in psychic warfare sometimes. As a treat

he once told anji that he 'would like to study him.' he doesnt know if he wants to ask delilah what that means

i didnt draw it here, but i imagine he also uses a cane sometimes. i also imagine he whacks ppl with said cane sometimes

now just goes by romeo f. neumann instead of bedman, in the same way that That Man also now goes by asuka r. kreutz

[classpectpokerap]

How do you feel about the portrayal of plurality in Homestuck? Because it’s not good.

Cherubs are “supposed” to predominate over their other personality. With Calliope being portrayed as naive for trying to co exist.

Horuss is mocked for being a system. But I’d say it was a king fun of people who pretend to be mentally Ill on social media for clicks.

Then their are the sprites

okay so

i guess we're doing this

HOMESTUCK AND PLURALITY: A PRIMER

BECAUSE JESUS CHRIST THERES SO MUCH

SO SO SO MUCH

okay. so

homestuck is one of the best pieces of media of all time for plurality and i fuckin mean it. no shot do not pass go i have NEVER seen anything that is more built from the ground up to Support plural reads. like, to the point where it feels impossible to read homestuck without it.

as a work dealing with two huge primary themes of a) finding yourself/identity/growing up, and b) ideas coming to life, plurality is pretty much the Perfect intersection between the two of them. like.

take rose for example.

rose is plural and it's great.

when the doomed timeline evaporates, future dream rose does not actually "cease to exist." she ceases to exist as her own person -- her memories, experiences, personality, thoughts (or, as shorthand, her selfstuff) all flows back into rose prime. and that experience is just something rose has to roll with. one becomes two -- that other rose is still in her mind.

jade's plural and it's great.

when her dream self awakens as jadesprite, jade has a horrific argument with her. if you're plural i'm sure you understand. fighting with an age-regressed version of you, stuck in a traumatic past, who WONT FUCKING LISTEN -- we've all . been there.

she has involuntary barks, she can't stop seeing images of fire, she wants to go back to nonexistence but she doesnt want to die and it's torture,

and then in cascade, jade fuses with her.

dream jade is still in there. that part of her she has to grapple with is still real. her dog who she loves is in there, too -- but, yknow. woof

then grimbark gets forcefully introjected into her. i've seen a few fics play with the idea that the grimbark personality is still residually there (read ygtpoasu), but it's not a huge thing that's explored in the text. more backgrounded. but still! her crisis of identity is in there.

wanna know what's NOT backgrounded

tavros's plurality is like, a pretty big factor in his character!!!! it's one of the bigger points vriska uses to bully him with (because she's projecting because she's projecting because she's projecting, because she's also plural and kins mindfang), it's like. a big thing that he has to cope with and figure out.

kanaya suggested tavros treat his self-confidence as his own brain guy, like, completely sincerely. she genuinely thought it would help, and it sorta did!!!!!

and like

it is FAR from the only positive example of plurality in the comic.

like. look at sollux and aradia defending "alternate reality copies" of characters -- which can be pretty easily extrapolated to them talking about fictives

like. !!!!

i dunno, man. i think that homestuck is a DEEPLY plural story. you should read mtm and kgtac for more exploration of these themes. read detective pony too while you're at it. like.

i havent even TOUCHED on horuss or dirk or karkat here because there is just so much. there's so much! like ultselves. oh my god i completely neglected to talk about ultselves or cherubs or --

augh

but anyway here's The Screenshots from mtm

homestuck is, like, the single most fictive compatible fictional work i've ever read.

"oh im being sent to another universe as a brain ghost? that happened to my buddy dirk"

"oh im one of many incarnations of myself, and perhaps not even the most 'canon compliant' one? haha dream bubbles moment"

"ive been isekai'd into another world? lol sburb"

it. yeah. god. i could literally talk about this all day. but instead im gonna direct you to my ao3.

check out no metaphors and then scroll through the "multiplicity/plurality" tag on my page

and if youve got more specific stuff, send in another ask!

[some-mari-thoughts]

im ootl, whats up with the manga? i havent been reading

Nice! Probably its best u dont

From ok to bad:

Events have been rearranged to unknown extent to adapt to faster pace.

We start with the christmas memory dream instead of headspace, and we are introduced to everyone that way. The dream is very very short.

We then go to start 3 days left skipping the phobia fight for its unneeded at this point, and see kel, basil and aubrey (no mention of their friend groups)

Sunny freaks out and leaves to white space right upon ending Aubrey fight (after seeing a photo of Mari) and thats where we meet mari properly

That said, Mari. In the dream/memory she is introduced via visual horror, stress rising as soon as she comes into frame and when we see her face it is already kinda terrifying! Her name and sight alone continues to scare sunny into panic for the entirety of chapter. Almost as if he is scared of her rather than anything else

We dont feel any easier as we meet Dream Mari either because she sneakily guilt trips us about taking too long and making her wait

Sunny is treated a bit better but he is freaking out almost the entire time we see him and his reactions seem a bit misplaced. I am also pretty sure he doesn't even get to throw up the steak. He does get several gay tension moments which shippers are extatic about but for me doesnt make it literally any at all better or easier. Just raises my brow higher. Seems like its the only place where manga will have any success. The sunburn lovers are also happy bc in the dreamworld omori gets to help aubrey out instead of kel

Other events have been slightly changed. We start with not seeing any of the hooligans which leaves us with aubrey alone. So she alone is doing a lot more bullying than she originally was doing. Then she also focuses on bullying sunny alone and verbally hitting where it'll hurt, also reminding him that mari is dead here instead of church (which causes him to collapse and then slice her with the knife)

What does not help is the artist consistently fails to make a good line of motion or guide the viewers eye where it needs to go, so 90% of people will first miss that 1 - aubrey doesnt hit basil in the head with her bat, but trips him instead; 2 - she then seemingly misses at kel and aims to hit sunny straight across with the bat; 3 - Easily missable detail that sunny stops freaking out as he handles the knife, either bc of smth abt him or bc of omori (unclear, sunny is the one drawn there), 4 - Sunny looks like he is trying to kill Aubrey; 5 - Unclear who is panicking and thinking "no" as Sunny readies the knife

The manga is not at all beginner friendly and in theory can only be enjoyed by a member of the fandom. Well. It fails at that too bc only very specific ppl will be actually happy abt this retelling. (Shippers. And another subset of ppl who are there for different reasons)

The artstyle is making anyone with good internet background tense and for good reason too (shotacon/CP classic artstyle) People have spoken out about more evidence to the manga's artist drawing messed up things (including for OMORI fandom) not too long ago. Omocat's rep is once again in shambles and i cant and wont defend her til we get a goddamn good explanation

[xwiedzmax]

Rae lore goes bonkers

Spoilers for "Shards of his Mind" lore, be warned So uhhh, how we feelin about that lore? Fable messing with Raes memories, Perix and Fable working together, Fable killing Alerion, small eye duo house. i suspected for a looong time that Fable was bad, but having confirmation just gives me even more thoughts. first, we can see how much better Fable treated Icarus than Rae when they were younger. Rae lived in the basement after Fable came along. before he shared a room with Icarus, when Isla was around. when Fable came, Icarus got an expansion, while Rae got kicked out to the basement. now as much as i can understand them not wanting to share a room with a 7 year old, Rae couldve easily gotten a room of his own. now, the memories Rae was able to see. first, Fable taking Isla. it was my theory he took her, but 1 thing i do not understand is why he took her to the end. "Lennarius and Soul could not keep us apart forever" "it is time for you to return home my love". we know Soul and Len helped Isla get away. but if Fable wanted to take Isla home, the End doesnt seem like the correct place, which is curious. i think Fable mightve used Isla as a.. i dont know the correct word, sacrifice? proof? wanted to show Enderian what hes capable of, if she doesnt give him what he wants. Isla didnt want to go with him, knew he was dangerous, knew he was evil. other memory, from Perix' shard, was when she got pulled by Fable into Purgatory in a dream. it was his first time actually using Enderians power. he recruited Perix to help guide the others to free him, Perix getting Rae as her new temporary vessel in return. he also offered her a place in his court, but we can see how Fables promises go. and the last.. Alerion. he wrote a book we saw before, Sontariv. i believe it was censored before? the full book says "im writing to you with urgent message. Fable is almost here and hes not leaving survivors. i need to be sure you get Will out of here safely. i know we arent on best terms but please, do this for me". Alerion knew Fable was coming for him, yet he did not run. he knew Fable was going to kill him and didnt even protect himself. i think he knew Fable wouldnt get his power? somehow transferred it to Enderian before? theres also the thing of, Epros watched Alerion get killed. Epros saw, knew how Fable acted. the primordials dont seem to like Fable, Epros stuck with Enderian instead of him (or Netherum) after the Aether fell. Alerion knew Fable was evil. and an important thing.. Alerions death didnt start the war. the war was already going, before Alerion was killed. personally i think the war started because of Fable wanting power, Alerions power. maybe after Fable took Isla to the End? dont have any theories on that yet- anyways me when the lore thats been happening, its so gooddd

[snoopyliker]

okay so. still trying to piece this all together before you know its done for me so Pausing the episode heres what im understanding

the santo berço is a town that exists in a place where the membrane is incredibly weak and the reason the people look different is because we know that bodies begin to shift and change when they stay too long in these areas so i believe the gray skin, point ears, and such is a side effect on these people who were once “ignaro” they transform the longer they stay. my thought process at least rn regarding their appearances

the reason the black eyes stood out to me is because during the 6th episode with the fight when they were losing the power checks and theyd lose control and their eyes would get blacker as if consuming them right? and theyd begin to have black tears running down their face. which is really fucking specific so im wondering if the black eyes there is the same type of scenario we’re seeing here. sorta implying some sort of controlled state? or heres the thing they call themselves lucidio? i forgot how to spell it kekw which is im assuming derived from the word lucid and that sorta represents an awareness of a dreaming state. unsure if that plays into something here with their consciousness and awareness of everything it seems

the blacksmith said the tree represents their life in a way and i found it interesting that the trial is this three year thing where when they return they chop down that tree. its like a metaphor for what happens when they choose to stay in santo berço right? this tree is growing their life and when they return its cut its no longer able to continue growing it stays in that state forever now. staying in santo berço is like ending your life the growth of it. and i wonder if thats what its meant to basically mean.

what i found interesting was that the gatekeeper was brought when he was 8 and he remembers his life before santo berço and the fact children can be brought here was really interesting to me because they generally lack a sorta agency when it comes to making decisions? idk if the gatekeeper talks more about his backstory but im assuming he was brought by his parents or guardian to live here. hes 23 now so this town has existed for a Long Time. a fucking while.

what i found interesting was they themselves dont quite understand the maze and treat it as this legend and tale. but it has this thick mist around it which we know to mean an area with a very very weak membrane. which isnt surprising with all of this. but they dont seem to know that themselves. the 5 statues i assumed were the doctors but i havent gotten there yet to where anything is said about them. so im just assuming the 5 guardians are them but the thing is their documents were recent years like 2019 and 2020 and we know FOR A FACT this town has existed way longer. so either the 5 guardians arent the doctors who were doing this project and founded this town and instead someone else OR IT IS THE DOCTORS AND THERES SOME TIME TRAVEL AT PLAY.

they all are relatively aware right like they knew about caprizinha and they knew about other towns nearby and they know how cellphones and the seemingly how different the world is outside their town etc the only real confusing discrepancy is how they bring people. supposedly just asking? and people accept? and stay forever? and are seemingly happy forever? murcilos case was really odd because when we met him he really seemed to love his girlfriend jessica but when asked about her here he said well you know theres other things to life and generally the notion that its fine he doesnt care he left a life behind with no warning to anybody. like it holds so little value? thats where im like okay clearly theres some trickery something isnt adding up for people to just vanish and leave their lives. but again theyre in this town right now and dont seem to be manipulated in any way? they still have that option to leave according to the blacksmith but again they did enter in an unexpected way.

now when they found the town they did pass by a fog where they couldnt see anything except the path and an illuminated way that led them to santo berço so i wonder what exactly happened there. because they were looking for The Cave and instead found this town and its like okay how does that fucking happen. i keep going back to cesars reaction where they were going to enter the forest. the feeling that there was no going back and that shiver.

now i think back to what the doctors were doing and trying to achieve and the major question remains as Why? i wish i had taken photos of all the documents so i can read them all myself again lmao. whats the reason? they live without names just titles they have no technology or electricity they called those things aberrations. why why why why whats the point? how is this town used in an ulterior motive. its not just a town it functions to do something clearly. but what?

ok ima play the episode again ive just been ranting kkkkkk

Still so confused about the old man fml. ik on one of his papers it was written “im the blacksmith” but like was he really? is the symbol burn mark on his back one of those markings the people of santo berço seem to have on their faces the same? do all blacksmiths have that marking on their back? was his tongue cut because he left santo berço? i need to understand how he plays into this meu deus. did he even write that paper? was he just holding it? he clearly knew enough to run down that basement and release subject whatever the fuck

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 31:

"I thought that I was getting better."

Emptiness | setbacks | "Take it easy."

Fandom: Camp Cretaceous

Prompts: vaguely all

Short and sweet with a hint of Whump. Rewatched the last episode and was like 'damn tv 7 my ass' for the millionth time. Anywho, a short piece on how trauma bonded kids would not just return to normal the minute they return to their loved ones. I think it probably took them awhile to get to the time skip point in which they were. I may rewatch and do some rewrites or missing moments or added moments lol. This show was just too good.

TW for Panic attack (vaguely) and thoughts of death (mostly just near death experiences they faced, but also a little idealization in there.)

…

Darius doesnt like making assumptions about his friends. The island showed him exactly what damage that could do- even when he hadnt meant to, hadnt known he had been, but it was no excuse- he made a promise to himself to treat them right. His only friends.

So when his nightmares come back with a vengance, he doesnt breathe a word. They all went through hell and back on those Islands, they were all slowly settling back into their lives, they practically lived at eachothers houses- rotating through them because between their parents and themselves, they need the ability to verify the safety of eachother- but Darius sees them adjusting, trying to take back their previous lives with the new knowledge they have. And Darius had been right along with them, writing about their experiences and the lessons learned-

But now here he was.

He awoke quietly, far to use to the need of stealth and the light sleepers around him, he could still feel the hot wet breath of death encompassing. Its hard with a trembling body, but he manages to make it around the other sleeping teens and to the bathroom down the hall. They're at Yaz's house this time around, her mother's room on the second floor while they reside in the basement so hes not worried about her hearing him.

He slides down the wall as soon as he closes the door, theres soft moonlight coming from a small window above the shower, but the room remains mostly shadows. Theres cant be light, it will attract-

No. There could be. He just has to stand and hit the switch, because there is power here and no dinosaurs. He stares blankly at the cabinets instead, what use would light do him anyway? He was just gonna sit here like a lump anyway. He didnt need any light other than the moon, shining off tile, while he sits doing nothing. There is nothing productive to do now, no planning or night watch, no fighting bad guys or identifying dinosaur noises. Just his own breathing as a dream that mixed reality and his worst fears, plays over and over in his mind.

He had made so many mistakes.

He can think of so many instances where something he did had put one of his friends in danger. Things that had them almost dieing, heck Sammy practically had! And Ben, and Brooklyn, and Yaz and Kenji and Doctor Mae and-

And so many people had died.

Ones perfectly fine killing kids.

And others… who had just come to a park to have fun.

He had come so close multiple times too, but… if he had died instead of one of the others than, would that have been so bad?

Kenji rolls over, eyes squinting open, expecting to see the familiar form of his sleeping brother, the empty space that meets him instead has his heart rate spiking and his breath catching. He sits up- too quickly, it startles everyone else, but Darius is GONE- eyes tracking the entire room before he's reminded his brain of the fact they are NOT on the Islands. Darius hasnt been eaten by dinosaurs, but the panic still lingers that they CANT FIND HIM.

"Maybe… he just went to the bathroom?" Sammy offers, although shes already starting to stand.

"The lights off." Yaz is already standing at the hallway, "Doors closed though."

Kenji ventures forward first. Brooklyn close behind, and the others just behind her.

He knocks lightly, frowning further at the lack of response, he glances behind him and gets several nods, opens the door slightly. As expected, it's dark inside, the moon's glow barely illuminates the figure against the wall.

Darius doesn't react to his presence, his stare is blank, body motionless except for the slightest breath. It's terrifying to see such an emptiness in usually such bright eyes. There's raised red marks on his hand, wet and crusting with blood, Kenji's lips purse sadly. Swallowing thickly, he reaches out a careful hand, touches his knee lightly, expecting the flinch,

"Take it easy." He says softly, "You're safe."

It takes several moments, all of them crowded together on the floor of the bathroom- Ben actually sitting in the tub to make more space- allowing Darius the time he needs to come back to them. When he finally makes eye contact, it's hesitant, as if waiting for something.

"Hey bud, how you feelin?" Kenji's voice is gentle, nothing extra in his voice, his eyes hold a worry to them- they all do- but no judgment or anger.

Darius wants to tell them he's fine. That he's sorry. That it's nothing and they can go back to sleep. That everything is proceeding forward as it's supposed to. He opens his mouth to say just that,

"I thought that I was getting better."

That is not what he wanted to say. Seriously brain what the heck?? He can't be bringing them down like this-

"Hey, you are, we all are Darius. Setbacks are normal, and together we can make sure they don't last long." Brooklyn's soft voice breaks his thoughts, and his head snaps up to stare at her.

"You want to know my first thought when I couldn't find you?" Kenji asks, drawing his attention next, the curious look has the corners of his mouth twitching up before they fall again, "I thought you might of been eaten, or being chased, I-" he swallows the emotion, blinking back the wetness in his eyes, Darius reaches out and takes his hand.

"Sorry." And he means it, puts as much emotion as he can into the word, directing it at the room at large.

They were all healing. They all had moments of weakness. But they were a team, they had each other's backs, and for every step backwards, someone would be there to pull you forward again.

[nrdmssgs]

Your reminder to be self-indulgent

This blog is not my first experience in writing. However, this one is the first, where I deliberately stay as self-indulgent as I can. Even, if it seems cringy, even if there are people out there with other preferences and perspectives on my favorite characters. This was my personal goal, and today I've found the reason behind it, a real one.

A bit of backstory. Some time ago I've moved to another country. The last months before moving were crazy: there was a shit ton of packing, paperwork, organizational work, stresses and so forth. I knew, Im not going back. What I didn't know was that life would turn out in such a way that with a high probability I would not visit my hometown in the next 10-15 years (maybe longer). Sadly, I didn't have a chance to say a proper goodbye to my hometown. I wish I could just have a free day to roam around familiar places: to sit on a bench, where I had my first ever kiss, to visit my school and university, to walk in park, where I shared my first ever beer with a friend, to look into the courtyard of the house where I spent the first years of my life, maybe to take some photos, so that I have something, reminding me of those places. But it is what it is, and sometimes you don't have any free time during a few months.

This night I had a very comforting dream. I was once again in my hometown. There is a cinema theater in the very center of our city. It is a huge building with a massive concrete canopy (so massive, you can actually walk on it). Although you are not allowed to climb there - there was a way to do it and 20 years ago that area was not strictly supervised, so I've done that in my school years with my friends. So I see that canopy, remember the good old days, climb and walk along there. Then I hear someones voice. "You ok there? Need help with coming down?". I look down on a guy. Never met him before, but his face looks somewhat familiar. He looks up on me with confused eyes, yet a wide happy grin. Such a sunshine of human being. Obviously a tourist, not familiar with this place. "Nah, m fine, just hanging out here." But I climb down just to not let the guy down and ruin his day. "See? it's quite easy, if you know, where to climb." I start walking away, but he follows me and asks if I could show him any cool places around. "Only if you have a few hours, mate. Im planning quite a journey around my hometown." But this doesnt lessen his enthusiasm, he is quite happy to just hang out and see whatever I have to show him. And for the first time I dont care, that he is a tourist and I have to show him some museum/palace/fontain. I just... go through all those places, Ive originally wanted to say goodbye to, when I was leaving, not caring, he could find them insignificant. I dont tell him the real reason behind every place, we visit. Instead, I just joke around, I whistle my favorite songs, I feel free to yell at the driver who almost ran over us in the alley, and I treat my new friend with sweets that he can only taste there. And he encourages whatever I do, just lets me have a good time and is genuinely happy to be around. We visit many places I miss dearly.

I woke up today with my cheeks wet with tears of joy. This happened like 2-3 times in my life. Im just so happy, I've finally revisited all those places and by my side was someone, who just let me be myself. And only later, when brushing my teeth, Ive remembered the face of that guy. "Wait a minute, it was you all the time?" It was so funny, I didnt recognize him in my dream.

So how is this little story connected to self-indulgence? I believe, that by tinkering a safe space for yourself with your favourite characters and interesting for you personally stories, by revisiting this space on a weekly basis, you train your brain to always make some place for comfort. A place, where you can express your feelings and worries freely (even if this place is your own dream). Of course, I`m not encouraging anyone to replace professional help with fanfiction. But I think, this works really well as one of many-many instruments to maintain some peace of mind. So please consider this as your reminder to stay self-indulgent. It helps, it heals.

Oh, and regarding a guy from my dream? Yep, him.

[cassyapper]

UM so i think about an au where jotaro is the one to die in sdc instead of anyone else and i throw up from grief but anyway i then go on to think about how like future parts would get impacted by this and like i dont think i’ve seen much discussion of that so let me . yeah. 

um so i think it follows the theme of like the crusaders basically making it up to jotaro in retrospect. and like . cleaning it up for him not cause theyre blood but because they were family nonetheless. so like

diu is mostly the same but instead of jotaro there it’s kakyoin and joseph. kakyoin wildly switches from being super overbearing to kinda like mean and hostile to josuke and josuke does not get it until kakyoin one day admits he can’t look at him without seeing jotaro and josuke is like. well that sucks and all but i’m not jotaro. i’m josuke. do i not get the opportunity to exist to you just because of another joestar. and kakyoin is like hmm. and he gets better and treats josuke better and theyre good buddies by the end

um in part 5 like. avdol is there the whole time. iggy is the one who fucks around with gio like koichi did in the first ep tho just btw. but like avdol is there the whole time. he’s very blunt about the fact he’s here to watch gio and gio has very rustled feathers but avdol isn’t trying to stop him from anything and he did help with the black sabbath fight so whatever. at the halfway point we meet polnareff rather than waiting on the finale and it convinces everyone including fugo to betray the boss cause like the requiem arrow. while theyre on this week from hell btw pol andf avdol drop hints about his dad/jotaro’s death. when gio almost dies cause of the requiem arrow he’s engulfed by both pol and avdol and they both cry that they can’t lose another kid like that again and while gio could kinda piece some stuff together at that point, this kind of confirmation -- that even tho his dad is the one who took their previous charge from them, they still see him as a kid worth caring about to the extent they cared about jotaro -- makes him cry for the first time in uh his life. i guess. abbacchio doesnt die btw but bruno and nara might still. we’ll see.

anyway and then part six instead of jolyne caus ejotaro. is dead. is kakyoin infiltrating the prison pucci is working at and them just going nuts at each other. when it’s clear neither can get the upperhand in a fight they fall into a very uneasy game of just constantly circling each other. with this comes familiarity though and they were friends once back when kakyoin was fleshbuded. they begin to talk. kakyoin explains what happened to him and pucci is like ah. and kakyoin is like “so see dio is fucked up and he hurt you too” and pucci is like noooope not dealing with that. but he doesnt have the opportunity to kickstart the bone bullshit with kakyoin watching him like a hawk and he can’t deny that he has doubts. anyway with kakyoin still there pucci begins to fall in on himself more and more until he just breaks down crying cause he realizes that while dio was his friend he was his abuser first. kakyoin comforts him. together they burn the bone and forever end any hope of dio’s dream coming to fruition. and at last letting jotaro rest in peace. um yeah idk

[subbybunnyboo]

i feel like this is something i can’t post in my channel with friends, but i need to vent

well, if i had made this post two or even one month ago i would have written ‘i fucked up’ as i said i hoped i wouldn’t in my “goodbye post”

but times go by and you start realizing that you were fucking abused and i’m not talking about physical/sexual harm and i havent been degraded (i mean only when i wanted to if you remember thematics of my blog). STRAIGHTLY. now i know what gaslight is first-hand.

i dont want to tell the full story here, just imagine situation when you have to overthink and rethink your every phrase several times before saying it with your partner. or feeling such a miserable person you have to visit therapists and stopping yourself from jumping under the train from thinking that you are a burden. i mean, yes, many people (sadly) experience this, BUT IMAGINE it all disappears right after you break up.

you feel like absolute shit and cry all the time, but when ‘should i kill myself?’-thought crosses your mind it doesnt stay even for a second. like, nah, i dont want to. i dont need to work on this, i just dont think that way

we broke up two months ago and i still feel broken. i tried to meet new people and they do like me and in two days they may treat me better than my ex in 5 months… but i just cant feel anything. they can be hell of a gentleman, get me flowers and coffee, shower me with kind words and we can have a great funny convo about lots of our common interests. but i come home and remember our first ‘date’ and cry. and i dont even cry like CRY, i just try to fall asleep while tears are going down my face. and we talk, meet again. but i feel nothing like i used to.

and i just saw a reels (99% of my feed actually) with a biker, but it was a special one for an unknown reason. i felt summer air. and felt how i want short nights, ‘white’ nights of petersburg, green, motorcycles on streets. and i miss..maybe what pops up in my mind a lot.. when it was “well i wanted to meet with you and i still do, so if you want it too…” “i do” “then what?” “finish your uni task, i’m ordering you a taxi” after he fell asleep when we were supposed to meet and not “what time should i come over?” *no respond* “i wont” “okay” and then blaming me in making scenes and saying “instead of this we could have a talk in discord, or you could be here and play with my dog or we could watch something, but no, you preferred making drama” when i did not make any. well, instead of acting like a jerk for whom i dont exist as well as my feelings, YOU could invite me for real, show me that you wanted me there or offer talking in disco.

no, i was guilty for everything. when this person was guilty - it was my fault. every single time

its just such a person. i dont know if all he has done was on purpose or not. i am not sure if i want to know. but he is probably too smart not to know what exactly he was doing

there is no single day i dont think about him and in my mind i just cant let him go. all that feeling like he is one of a kind. and connection. unhealthy, but connection

there is no abuse without good moments. and such moments make you think maybe if you did something slightly different… if you swallowed such treatment that time… understood him better this time…. but then you open your chat and read how he treats you like literal SHIT and it just hits you hard like a truck

i am deeply hurt. i am a person you should not meet and fall in love with right now. right now i can cause only pain, but im not a sick sadist, i dont enjoy it. but i understood i need to give myself time to heal. not to try meeting new people that would replace him. and for sure not to try to get him back. however, i dont know jf i will follow these words. hopefully.

and when i get free from this, i will meet my dream motorcyclist husband-material. maybe gym rat. maybe scott pilgrim type of nerd. hopefully somebody… kinder. more empathetic. and mature for relationship.

peace

[awellboiledicicle]

A fun thing is it was traditional in some places for the grooms family to visit the brides for a feast before the actual wedding.

So Hypnos did pleading eyes at Nyx and Than to pleaaaaase come eat with her family. Pleaaaase.

Which they do because its quaint and also Thanatos was going to say no but Zagreus leaned on him about it. Everyone else was either busy or not a great idea to invite so they just.

Show up, looking a bit more mortal so as to not freak anyone out.

Timos parents are losing their shit internally because it really is just them and any female relatives her mother could find on short notice. Her brothers are debating posturing at a god about being kind to their sister. Her mother is terrified her food wont be good enough.

None of them expected Thanatos. Nyx, sure, fine, but death himself? Fear.fresco

And they all eat at once instead of separated because are You going to tell Mother Night she cant eat until the men are done? Because I wouldn't.

That said Hypnos is mildly disappointed Timo is wrapped up and veiled for the most part because he already isnt allowed to go hug her in greeting and now he doesnt get to see her? Rude mortal things. He wants to know if her hair's still shiny and bouncy in person. But hes not disappointed seeing her. Because he can see her eyes and they look even more stormy than in dreams. The lamplight makes them shimmer and they're narrowed when looking at him, hinting that shes smiling really hard under the veil.

Aldo keep imagining the dinner convo being started by her youngest brother who doesnt 100% know what's going on. Just this five year old going

"Sir Hypnos, do you hunt?"

"Er, not really. But I fish with my bud Zagreus now and then! Do you?"

The child shakes his head. Hypnos doesnt need to say anything to half recall glimpsing tiny dreams of the lad with a bow too big for him and hounds the size of cows. Its adorable when the boy looks very serious and nods.

"I catch rabbits! But I cant tie snares real good yet, so big brothers help!"

Timo's mother meanwhile is rather bravely pressing Nyx on what the House is like and how she believes Timo will be treated. Nyx is coolly reassuring, if nothing else. Its nice to see mortals care enough to edge at a god about someone close to them. Then again, it's also nice to speak to another mother of things mothers concern themselves with. Shes reassured that Timo will know how to keep Hypnos in order, if nothing else.

Than is beset by her older brothers and tries very hard not to teleport away with all the attention that isn't... well, being upset to see him. One even claps him on the shoulder during a story about travelling to locate missing sheep. It's weird and he kind of wishes Zagreus came with because he'd find this far more engaging. He couldn't, naturally, but still. Its oddly nice.

Hypnos is also being very seriously charted at by her father because it's a serious boon, presumably, to have godly inlaws. Not to mention hes kind of... it's not taking a loss, really, but it's not like a boon from Hypnos to the family is the same as like Persephone blessing crops to always be fruitful or Artemis blessing hunts. Not that "your kin shall always have restful sleep, in all times" is BAD it's just not flashy. So hes talking to see what Hypnos gets here bc the dowry isnt... amazing. Its cloth and thread and dye. Her bridal chest is just things like pots and pans and her loom. Hes honored but confused.

Timo is spending most the time staring at Hypnos.He already told her his appearance would be a shade or two more mortal looking while outside Hades, but it's still bewitching. His hair looks even more like soft down and his skin is a beautiful shade. The tips of his ears keep darkening as he embarrassedly answers her father's questions. His eyes make gold look like it had never known luster. She wished she didmt have to sit apart from him, but manners.

I just. (Shakes ideas)

[nympippi]

Most of the time Dream does Techno's hair, it mainly consists of ponytails, or braids but he tries.

And Techno absolutely LOVES it, he finds it very calming whenever Dream just sits down and takes the time to braid his hair, its nice.

[kellinrk800]

toko fukawa comphet no i don’t take criticism

nobody will even see this because my account just. doesnt get traction but here have a ramble abt toko’s backstory and how much i firmly believe her attraction was comphet.

spoilers for thh, sdr2 and udg

tw// ab/se, n/glect, severe bullying

toko was severely neglected and unwanted when she was a child. she grew up with two mothers and one father due to both sleeping with the same man and neither wanting their child which caused her to be mistreated. once she was locked in a closet and forced to stay there for three days without food. clearly, she grew up in a household completely devoid of healthy love. genocide jack’s development was likely a response to cope with the traumatic experiences.

her time in elementary was no different. in third grade, she was used as a scapegoat for stolen money and her classmates tied her to the jungle gym with a garden hose as punishment.

her first real “love” was with a boy who she had been friends with since elementary but when she finally confessed through a letter, she found it pinned to the bulletin board to mock her. this was genocide jack’s first kill, leading me to believe that her murders were actually a form of protection.

on one occasion (and most likely more considering her difficult relationship with understanding rejection) she was ghosted halfway through on a date after spending three days and nights planning it so that she would not mess it up. she later found out that the boy only asked her out because he lost a bet.

the most likely only healthy representation of love she ever has was through media, which is arguably extremely heteronormativity and the actual healthiness of how relationships are presented in media is debatable.

she internalised all of these things happening to her and believed she deserved them somehow, building her inferiority complex. she began to assume that people only expected bad of her and self victimises herself almost on instinct despite her nature to express opinions without care for others most of the time. her self esteem is extremely low and she often worries about being considered an “old hag” in ultra despair girls.

toko fell in love with the idea of love, not an actual person. at some point she turned to novels and writing as a way to express her emotions and she used that passion to create works of art through her novels and created a toxic idolisation of the perfect relationship with nothing but media, her family’s relationships and her past experiences to go off.

she began to let herself get hurt and internalise it which ended up building her inferiority complex even further to the point of becoming unhealthily infatuated with anyone she saw fit as a stand in for the dreamy perfect people that made her books succeed.

time and time again genocide jack and toko were mistreated in their relationships, causing their system to suffer greatly. jack began to kill anyone toko saw fit as a perfect romantic interest to protect them both, but this most likely caused her own mental health to decline as well, leading to the aggressive, startling and manic personality we saw in the games.

toko began to both idolise and fear falling in love. while she knew they would most likely be killed and she would have to cope with knowing that the police could come knocking any day if they put the pieces together, she also still purposed her life around being in a perfect relationship because it was now causing her to gain traction through her novels.

this only furthered her unhealthy infatuation with relationships. she became determined to find a man who fit her description of the perfect man and would not mislead, use, mock or hurt toko in hopes that he would not be killed and she would finally achieve her dream.

enter byakuya togami. blonde, blue eyed, rich, cold and most importantly, entirely unattainable. he was an ideal stand in, especially considering the circumstances of the killing game (jack’s unique killing style would immediately be found out). she was able to fantasise from afar without ever really getting as severely hurt as she had in the past because he simply did not care to provide her his attention.

jack had two options. kill byakuya and get executed, or suck it up. clearly you can tell which option she chose. in addition, she had all of her memories from prior to the game which most likely slightly numbed her thirst for blood. by the end of ultra despair girls, she has grown a respect for toko, a softness for komaru and even calmed jack down to the point where it’s suggested that she no longer uses her skills to murder but instead fight despair.

in fact, near the end, toko is acutely aware of what is happening despite the fact jack was fronting (they don’t usually share memories, only emotions), suggesting they may have slightly integrated but i don’t really want to make assumptions considering i do not have did and am not educated enough to speak confidently about did.

ironically, the killing game was actually good for both of their mental health’s. i’ll only be talking about toko but in ultra despair girls she was emotionally stronger and more mature. she believed she finally had a purpose other than romance and that she could fight against all odds. she even credits makoto for her newfound courage. she criticises cowards and those that remind her of her past self. she is willing to challenge her fears.

komaru had an amazingly powerful and positive effect on them both. her softness, optimism and empathy help toko’s character develop even further. when komaru tries to give in to despair, toko encourages her to face her fears. toko, who was before extremely afraid and uncomfortable with being touched, is now willing to comfort and even hug komaru. she claims she’s finally found a true friend (that’s actually human, can’t forget kameko the stinkbug) and that she found hope in her.

komaru admires toko and doesnt really mind her split personality, instead just considering it “a bit strange”, which is a noticeable difference from how she was treated by everyone else for it. toko is protective of komaru during chapter two due to her suspicion of shirokuma. later, they even sleep in the same bed.

however, when toko risks komaru’s life for byakuya, they get into an argument in which toko accuses komaru of manipulating her with terms such as “friends”, which leads to komaru showing that she really does trust her.

later, this arguably resolved after servant forces jack and toko to fight against komaru for byakuya. they fight back against servant and komaru forgives her because they are friends, which makes toko extremely happy, so much that she blushed and admits she has never had a real friend before. she thanks komaru genuinely for the first time and they try to become real friends.

toko swears she will help komaru with anything she can’t do by herself, just like komaru would do for her.

toko even stays by her side to the point of rejecting the opportunity of going to future foundation to stay with komaru :)

in the end of danganronpa goodbye despair, which is set after ultra despair girls, kyoko reminds byakuya that someone is waiting for him and he jokes that she shouldn’t remind him of “something so horrifying”. and honestly i think the fact he was able to joke about it shows that perhaps toko and byakuya found a somewhat healthy relationship as friends, acquaintances, or even just bearing eachother’s presence.

a notable addition that didn’t really fit anywhere else is toko’s scrapped execution. “first kiss prank” is the title and it consists of byakuya running towards her before toko gets hit by a roller. that says enough about her biggest fears and how badly her past memories affected her.

in conclusion, toko fukawa’s obsession with byakuya was comphet due to pressure from the media and her toxic ideals. the fact she was able to form a healthy relationship with komaru is hhh and i could talk about them for hours. tokomaru is the second closest thing we have to inmedia stated canon (fuck kodaka’s statement me and the homies hate kodaka’s statement about naegiri /j)

sources: toko fukawa’s fandom wiki, genocide jack’s fandom wiki, free time events, transcripts

[that-thing-that-feeling]

Sorry for the huge rant but I like reading your takes and others’ takes. This isn’t about the characters themselves, but just annoying ass fandom behavior. I don’t want to come off as personally shitting on Steve, but I strongly dislike the way certain kinds of stans do the most to dickride Steve as the Most Character Ever while showing disregard for other parts of his canon character as well as disregard for other characters.

- Being misogynistic towards Nancy; either treating her like Steve’s entitled to her for a romanric relationship or demonizing her because ‘she doesn’t deserve Steve’, or demonizing her because she’s getting in the way of other Steve ships; people who look at the six kids + Winnebago scene and think he and Nancy should get together just make it happen for beloved Steve without taking into account *Nancy’s* dreams

- I’ve seen people try to co-opt parts of Jonathan’s character for Steve while simultaneously shitting on Jonathan; people wanting Steve to act as the older teen ‘dad’ for Will and El, forgetting Jonathan has acted more of a dad for Will in his life than Steve, acting like Steve is and has always been the only important big brother protector on the show

- A bit petty, but I saw someone on Twitter be so offended on his behalf regarding Jonathan’s “Steve? [chuckles]” like “Jonathan’s loser ass speaking on Steve”; I promise you girl, Steve will recover from this devastating blow (re: lightest ribbing ever) coming from a character who has literally never gotten to even see him in a long time 🙄

- Steve hasn’t been an underrated character since S3 (he is perfectly rated now) and yet some people will still call him underrated despite so many other characters being less talked about than he is. As if Steve doesnt have mountains of fan content on the daily and a near 100% approval rating, meanwhile I have to take a fucking gamble sometimes clicking on the few threads where someone mentions the likes of any non-El member of Cali gang (e.g. Argyle my new comfort character) because idk if people are appreciating said member or shitting on him in the comments

- Downplaying Steve’s growth by sugarcoating his S1 behavior. God forbid we let complex characters act like flawed people and have asshole moments and have autonomy but Steve has just never done anything wrong ever 🥺 it’s just mean ol peer pressure, or it’s all Tommy and Carol’s fault—or if it’s not, then Steve was just in an uwu vulnerable state when he was trying to actively pick a fight by following and shoving Jonathan from behind, and talking shit about his family when it wasn’t even about his relationship troubles with Nancy anymore

Like, I love Steve. I fucking love his development, I love how far he’s come. I just don’t think his particular character is a whole ass god amongst other characters in the show that requires a lot of coddling and throwing those other characters under the bus

Oof wow yeah I agree with all your points here, altho I don’t think it comes down exactly to loving Steve (of course fans should love Steve, and he’s a fan fave, and fave for many). But it does seem to often turn into fans pitting characters agst each other, raising characters to the level of saints instead of seeing them as flawed/layered, feeling the need to tear one character down to raise the other. It’s all v annoying and the fandom could be so much better about it!

[jackassbroadcast]

Hello im a Tommy enthusiast who watched that one stream where he monologued to foolish for like hafe an hour bc i heard it was a cool stream or wtv to realize how much amazing character moments it had that barly anyone in this damn fandom is talking about so ill fucking do it

(Only after finishing this i realized i wrote 1.7k words LOL OOPS)

If u dont know what in talking about its this stream (apologies for linking a clips channel the actual vod on foolish's channel is deleted by now)

Also heads up /rp /dsmp every time i refer to someone here by name is their character unless stated otherwise bc writing c! Before every name Is tiring LOL

Also // suicidal idealization , death mentions

The conversation starts off with foolish and tommy mining for Wilbur, and foolish questions how simply mining will solve the problem to which Tommy reponds with "they dont get solved, do they? It just ends uo with some madman screaming 'Hes solved it!' And now look at him." And how he wants to "prevent the problem before it goes outta hand" something that clearly references Wilbur and his destruction of lmanburg, which paired with him collecting stone for Wilbur as the way to stop said problems he believes if he does anything he can for Wilbur and support him by his side enough this time around, that he wont do anything like thay again, which as im writing this makes be realize by doing that we learn hes blaming himself for what happened to Wilbur in November 16th and pogtopia and a whole, by not being enough for Wilbur in his mind.

The conversation continues, foolish off hand asks why would tommy want to stop Wilbur? Weren't they friends at some point? To which tommy leads foolish to lmanburg and tells him the story of the nation (how it was him and Wilbur's nation, how they made it to espace dream's iron fist and how they held an election "which puts your life on the line, which is good- if you're confident but- perhaps we were too confident", how they lost)

Tommy: "You know the phrase: 'treat other how you wanna be treated', foolish? People dont ever listen to it. Wilbur- he decided he wanted to be treated poorly so he treated everyone around him poorly "

This Tommy quote, to me at least, so so amazingly strong in conveying how understanding he is? To the world around him. Like-

I have not seen one person bring this quote up, and yet its (at least to me) shows such growth and understanding in Tommy i saw little to nothing like it in other streams. It shows he understands, he knew Wilbur didnt change just because, he knows he was struggling, that he thought everyone around him were againt him, were going to abandon him the first chance theyll get- and he thought he deserved it. So he, as a last way to defend himself against that, hurt them first, abandoned them first, so theyll see how much of a 'bad' person he was and take him out- and tommy saw right through that, possibly understanding it more after exile.

This next qoute was talked about much more but i still wanna bring it up

Foolish: "Do you believe in second chances?"

Tommy: "Oh, no I don't really believe that its not really a thing for me foolish its just that-" *sigh* "- i believe everyone has a little bit of good in then and this is not about giving him a second chance or a third chance- its not about *chances* foolish. Its about not giving up on the poeple you care about. "

Which. I mean. I dont know how healthy that mindset is, but comign from Tommy it makes so much sense.

Techno, tubbo, eret, sapnap. These are all people Tommy used to be extremely close to, had either a war or had been betrayed by them, and yet still found it in his heart that he still cares for them, with all of these, they did horrendous things, that hurt tommy physically and mentally, while also not being once or twice, but a contentious thing, but while tommy is to this day still effected by their actions he still found it in himself to forgive, because he knows he fucked up too, a lot, and he knoes they learned from their mistakes just as he had (except c!techno FUCKKK c!techno mf doesnt learn SHITTT) and he knows, when the time comes he knows hed want the people he hurt to forgive him too. (And he wants Wilbur to do the same)

Next qoute i will cut to a couple parts because its really so good and full of character i had to bro

Foolish: "Do you consider yourself to be the good guy or the bad guy?"

Tommy: "It really depends who you ask, isn't it? Yknow? If you asked dream he'd say im *his little toy that he plays with* you know? It doesnt.."

This part really stunned me when i first heard it because, and correct me If im wrong, but i dont think tommy ever acknowledged how dream sees him, and  how right he has his viewpoint too. Just the fact tommy is so *painfully* aware of how dream doesnt even see him as a person anymore but just a toy to mess around with for a while than just throw it away when it get too boring really hurt me. Someone give this kid a hug

(Continued) Tommy: "...foolish, honestly? I used to consider myself 'the good guy', you know? The fuckin'- second in command! But these past- these past like six months or so, foolish, everything got so much harder than it was before. Because before it was just us vs bad guys, it was all so clear! But- its not been 'clear' for so long, right? It wasn't; 'these are the bad guys! These are the good guys!' Now it's : 'he's doing this and it makes him a bit worse-' i mean, it all got so complicated, so- i don't know. Depends who you ask."

He says this, in response to foolish asking if hes a good guy- but its awfully similar to if Wilbur asked him if they were the bad guys. Because foolish just asked about him, and yet in his answer tommy made sure to keep using the words "us, he's, guys" as if hes not really talking about himself, as if hes explaining how Wilbur was wrong. Which he was. Also something interesting ive noticed, he says "the last 6 months or so", which indicated that with Wilbur he knew better to follow his word and leadership- with Wilbur he was always on the right side but when he lost him he felt much more lost alone, and couldn't trust himself enough to be on the "right side" .

Foolish: "I dont know, it all seems strange because just from, you know- hearing from others and, you know, learing a little bit, its seems like you've been the hero, you've been the villain, the conqueror, the savior, and, even now, i have no idea what you exactly are."

Tommy: "that's up to you to decide, isn't it? Im just- *uh*  i dont know. These days, foolish, I'm a little weaker than i used to be"

Foolish couldn't be more right with what he said, another example of this we see where a character acknowledges tommy never sticks to one thing us Charlie when calling him "tommy fron nowhere" which shows more how he cant stick to one thing, during the course of him on the server he had been friends and enemy with nearly everyone, been on pretty much all sides, and while never really intentionally, being in the center of conflict. When foolish says he doesnt know who tommy is anymroe at this point and all Tommy says in return is that "hes a little weaker than he used to be" does to show he misses who he used to be, with lmanburg, with Wilbur, when he knew who he was, now he doesn't know who he is anymore, but still so desperately want to be more demonstrated by the lines coming rigth after that one:

(Continued) Tommy: "..I'm not- I'm now who i want to be, but-"

Foolish: "Being honest with you, Tommy, that's the same case for me as well."

Tommy: "...heres the thing, foolish, unlike you i dont really have a choice. I have to try and be who i want to be, because if i dont, very bad things are gonna happen in this server. And now that Wilbur's back i can't- quite frankly *no one* can risk that. So i dont really have a choice."

Tommy want's to change- he wants to be better than he is now, to be closer to who he used to be, no matter how impossible that might be, but he also sees it as an immediate thing, he wants to change now, or asap, which is why hes collecting stone for Wilbur in the first place- old him would've done that with ease just because Wilbur asked and he wants to have that back so badly, asap. The way he talked about this reminded me of when he tried getting over his trauma stream before he went in the prison to kill dream: he knew he wasnt the best but he tried getting over that asap to go kill dream asap. He didnt wanna take the long road of years of healing and instead thought he could get over it just like that, and that experience clearly didnt teach him anything because now hes trying to slide back to the relationship he and Wilbur used to have and ignoring the drastic changes they both had plus the bad moments that were the reason they feel out in the first place, or maybe he knows, but at this point, after everything that happened to him and the server, he doesnt care anymore? He knows hes not the same he was and he'll never be the same, because thats not how it works, but his mentor, president, big brother is back after so long tommy felt so lost and alone he thinks maybe, this time around, with Wilbur, he could try and be better again.

[yslkook]

gorgeous

#corporate masterlist

summary: it’s the office holiday party, and when you show up wearing this dress, jungkook doesn’t know what to do with himself. (jk pov) word count: 3014 warnings: alcohol, cursing, smut 18+- jk jerks it in a bathroom, he’s very into oc and she doesnt know it, jk is pining  a/n: here is a lil holiday-esque drabble. this story takes place about a month after the team returns to seoul from ch 6. pls enjoy this first attempt at smut for jk. ty to @taestybae​ for her endless support <333

Jungkook doesn’t know what to expect from this office holiday party- apparently there had been a huge budget surplus this year and the regulatory department had decided to go all out. The party planners had booked an evening at one of the ballrooms in one of swankiest hotels in Seoul. Meaning that the party itself was semi-formal, or close to it.

Meaning that Jungkook would rather be at home playing video games and eating pizza than dressed in a suit. He’s tired, it’s been a long few months, and he just wants to go home.

But he plays the part, and he plays the part well. Namjoon introduces him to a few people, higher ups, after he grabs a glass of spiced wine from the open bar.

Maybe he can at least get a little drunk. As a treat. 

His thoughts drift to you for a moment. He wonders what you’re doing. Maybe he’ll text you later, if he’s feeling a little brave. Maybe with some liquid courage.

He’s already looking forward to it. But he doesn’t have to, because you walk in through the doors with Seokjin on your arm. 

Jungkook audibly chokes on his wine when he spots you. Namjoon gives him a strange look but Jungkook ignores it, in favor of staring at you. Jungkook’s throat goes dry the closer both you and Seokjin get to him, Namjoon and Sana.

He can’t be next to you, not when you look like that. Not when you look so much more pretty than anything his own dreams could have conjured up. 

“Hi, Jungkook,” You say, your voice low and sweet at the same time. 

He nearly faints.

“Hi,” Jungkook mumbles, “What are you doing here?”

“Huh? Should I leave?” You tease, pointing at the door with your thumb.

“No, I just- I thought this was a reg thing?” Jungkook asks desperately, digging himself into a deeper hole. You only smile even wider at him. 

“Oh, am I not good enough company for you people then?” You scoff, “Maybe we should leave, Sana.”

“No,” Jungkook nearly whines, “That’s not what I meant-”

Jin is having a blast watching Jungkook tripping over his words as the younger man confirms his own already existing suspicions.

Namjoon tells Jungkook that he had invited you and Sana and you reply saying that you had come along with Jin.

What you don’t say is that Jin probably would have found a way to drag you to this party regardless. His jaw had dropped when he had picked you up from your house and you’re flustered under his gaze, something that has only happened a handful of times since you’ve known Jin-

“What? Is it too much? I thought they said semi-formal,” You panic, “Jin, I don’t have anything else! Should I go change? Fuck it, I’m not coming. Jin! Will you say something!”

“You look good, stupid,” Jin says easily and unabashedly lets his eyes roam, “You’re sexy.”

“Oh.”

Your dark green dress hugs your curves but still leaves enough to the imagination. Jungkook’s eyes dart to your shoulders and the dip of your chest, where he sees more of your tattoo that he’s ever seen before. He swallows nervously and when you walk with Sana to the bar, he sees the slit in your dress and an eyeful of your thigh.

Jungkook chugs his drink. The pink flush of his cheeks can be attributed to alcohol after all. 

You’re perfectly elegant and sexy, unaware that Jungkook is having a minor breakdown while trying to stave off popping a boner at this very public event.

He’s not having much luck.

Jungkook is now on his third glass of spiced wine, in an attempt to stop himself from searching for you. No matter where you are in the room, you seem to pop up in his periphery. Whether you’re speaking to Hae-ri, or you’re shoveling appetizers into your mouth with Seokjin, or you’re speaking with Namjoon’s boss… you always seem to be in his line of vision.

He seems to be one of the youngest people in the regulatory department, a fact that Jungkook’s colleagues seem to always want to bring up. Remarks of how they’re old and of ‘kids these days’ as they look pointedly at him, saying that he’s young and spry are the norm.

It’s annoying and he resists the urge to roll his eyes. He just grins and bears it, going through his third glass of wine much quicker than expected.

These people always say they want change and fresh ideas and somehow refuse to embrace them. It makes Jungkook scoff. He’s happy with his small team of Namjoon, you and Sana. He’s happy that you’re all young at heart and that things aren’t so competitive. He knows he’s blessed in that aspect.

Jungkook is thankful when Seokjin pulls him away to introduce him to his own boss-

“You’re Namjoon’s golden boy,” Seokjin shrugs, “Everyone already knows you.”

He wants to ask, do people know you? But he refrains, not wanting Jin to get the wrong idea. Jungkook shouldn’t be as surprised as he is when he sees you standing next to Namjoon with Jin’s boss and one of her colleagues.

Now he really has to keep himself in check. You make him weak and despite his best attempts to avoid looking at you, his eyes land on you anyway. And how can he not turn his gaze to you?

He’s a goner, and he knew it from the minute he saw you walk into the venue.

Jungkook watches your red lips move as you speak with Seokjin’s boss and he vaguely wonders how your lipstick has remained intact this long. Your laugh is like music in his ears, you even throw your head back in genuine mirth at something that Seokjin’s boss says.

You’re not watching him. So he sips his wine and allows himself to enjoy your presence, all wrapped up in front of him in possibly the prettiest dress on the prettiest woman he’s ever met. 

Your whole body shakes as you laugh unabashedly and fully and Jungkook dares to ogle your chest for longer than he should of a colleague. But you’re you, and he’s just a boy. 

You’re his dream girl and he’s just a boy.

He wonders what your skin might taste like- you always smell so good, the faint scent of something warm and comforting always surrounds you. Your skin is glowing, the ink on your shoulders shining with the light from the chandeliers above.

And then your thigh peeks out and the sight of your leg sends an arrow of arousal straight down his spine. Jungkook thinks he catches a glimpse of color on your upper thigh but it’s gone as quickly as it comes.

His throat is dry again. He needs another drink.

While he wants to look at you in peace as if you were a painting made just for him, he wants your attention too. Before he can slide into the conversation and see your pretty eyes light up for him, you turn to him on your own.

“Hi,” You murmur to him once it’s clear that Seokjin has steered the conversation with his boss away from you, “Feel like I didn’t get to say hello to you properly earlier.”

“O-oh,” Jungkook mumbles, “No worries.”

“Got any plans for the holidays?” You ask softly. Your voice rings loud and clear in his ears, the sweet taste of wine on his tongue has nothing on what he imagines your lips feel like against his.

“J-just goin’ to my parents’. My brother’s coming for a few days, with his girlfriend,” Jungkook says, letting himself relax around you. It’s easy for him to do, when you give him a smile and a laugh that makes his heart lurch.

“Oh! You have a brother,” You reply, “Older or younger?”

“Older.”

“Ah, so you’re the baby of the house,” You tease, looking at him over the rim of your glass. Jungkook is momentarily distracted by the glossy taupe of your nails. And then his eyes travel up your fingers, as he catches exactly two small tattoos over your knuckles.

“I’m not the baby,” Jungkook complains and your teasing eyes melt away, instead replaced by a warm ember of something more. Your eyes are dark and hooded as you take him in, and it sets his blood alight.

“I know, Jungkook,” You murmur, your voice low and raspy. The corner of your lips quirk up into a smirk and all Jungkook can do is swallow his nerves down. He feels like he’s vibrating, just from your simple look. He preens in your gaze, wanting any and all of your attention.

Not for the first time, he struggles to keep his eyes above your neckline. Jungkook chugs the rest of his wine hastily and your eyebrows raise in mild curiosity. 

Jungkook is struggling to maintain his composure and if he doesn’t get his shit together, you’ll surely notice the small tent in his pants. Only you, looking so gorgeous in green can pull this kind of reaction from him with just a few words.

Jungkook is a sucker.

The hungry look in your eyes passes and instead you ask him about his brother and his family. He falls into easy conversation with you, telling you about last year’s holiday and how he had baked about fifty cookies too many for his family so he had eaten them all instead. He asks you what you usually do for the holiday, to which you reply that sometimes you and Grandma spend it with Seokjin and his family.

The lines between colleagues and friendship have long been blurred between you and Jungkook. At least, that’s how you feel. Normally, you wouldn’t offer that kind of information up to a colleague. But Jungkook feels like a little more than a colleague to you.

“Uh. Do you want to sit with me and eat?” You ask almost shyly and Jungkook feels his cheeks heating up. He nods immediately and follows you to the buffet line, enjoying the way your ass looks in that dress and eating up any glimpse of your leg he can get.

Happy holidays, indeed. 

“How messy do you think these people get after a few glasses of wine?” You muse, observing the higher ups chatting with each other on the other side of the room.

“Pretty damn messy,” Jungkook replies, “Look at Hae-ri, she’s wasted. And Yunho too-”

“Maybe there will be a day where we can act like that and not worry about whether we’ll be fired or not the next day…”

“It’s all about control,” Jungkook says knowingly, “You just gotta fake it till you make it.”

“Don’t gotta tell me that twice,” You scoff, “I feel like I can never get drunk at these things. Feels like big brother is watching, you know?”

“Can’t relate,” Jungkook says smoothly, “What’s the point of a work party if you won’t take advantage of the open bar?”

You laugh loudly, and Jungkook nearly jumps when your hand floats over his forearm to steady yourself. Jungkook sharply turns his face towards yours, meeting your electric eyes. You cross one leg over the other, the skirt of your dress falling a little bit to the side.

And Jungkook sees even more of your upper thigh tattoo than he had before. Now he knows for certain that your ink wasn’t just a figment of his imagination.

“Sorry,” You mumble.

He doesn’t know what you’re apologizing for, but he misses the heat of your hand when you place it back in your lap.

When you ask him if he wants to get seconds at the buffet with you, he immediately nods. You say nothing as he reflexively puts his hand at the small of your back. He’s a man, but he’s a gentleman, after all. 

The simple touch and heat of your skin through the fabric of your dress is enough of a memory for him to store for later. He allows himself the luxury of it and when you stand a little closer to him, he can’t help himself from letting his thoughts wander.

Jungkook needs to leave. He needs to either find a bathroom or get his ass home, because the longer he’s in your presence, the harder it is for him to conceal himself from you.

Specifically, his boner. His cock seems to jump whenever you’re in his line of sight and it’s messing with his head.

He’s painfully hard by the point in the night when speeches from the higher ups are being made. They’re thanking the department for their hard work for the year and wishing everyone a prosperous new year. Meanwhile Jungkook isn’t paying attention.

He’s tipsy and he’s thinking about how you’d fit in the crevices of his hands. He’s thinking about how your hips might feel in his hands, how the column of your throat would taste, how you’d look with his head buried in between your inked thighs.

He wants to shove his face into your tits and he nearly groans out loud at the thought. He wonders how his cock would look in your hands, how you’d stroke him, how your mouth would feel…

Jungkook sneaks away from the ballroom in search of a private bathroom. He leaves quietly, not wanting to answer questions. Not when he’s this painfully hard, and the mere thought of you in that dress is seemingly enough for him to cum in his pants.

He swiftly walks through the halls with his jacket subtly covering the front of his pants. He’s mortified that it’s come to this, but if he doesn’t make himself cum in the next ten minutes he might explode.

Jungkook finally finds a bathroom and shoves himself inside, immediately standing in front of the mirror and pulling his belt off.

He’s so desperate. He wonders if you’d like that, if you’d like his desperation that stems from you.

Jungkook pulls his cock out of the confines of his boxers and strokes himself slowly at first. Teasingly. He sighs softly at the relief that his right hand gives him.

Fuck. Would you like that? Would you like that he’s this desperate for you? Would you praise him? 

He squeezes his eyes shut, pretending that it’s your hand on his cock and not his own. He can see you in his mind, your lipstick beyond smudged, eyes watery and your dress rumpled. 

He can see your tattoos on display for him, the ones on your shoulder, your chest and your thigh. Maybe you’d even tell him that they all mean.

The thought sends another rush of blood to his cock. He pumps himself faster, groaning softly and biting his bottom lip.

He imagines you telling him to be loud for you, to let you hear him. In that low, sexy voice.

Jungkook moans your name into the empty bathroom. He’s long been leaking precum from his cock, perhaps since the moment he laid eyes on you. He’s so close…

Everything suddenly feels magnified- his touch on his cock, the thought of your tits spilling over the bodice of your dress. The feel of your lips on his.

His mind runs wild when it comes to you.

Jungkook strokes himself even faster, only to stop abruptly. Start, stop. Start, stop. He whines to himself and peels his eyes open to watch himself in the mirror. His eyes are hooded, cheeks reddened and lips pouty and swollen from biting down.

He needs more than his own hand. He needs friction.

Without a second thought, he plasters his hands over the counter and rocks his hips into the edge of the surface. With a loud, broken moan he grinds into the counter. Wondering how your pussy might feel instead of the cold surface. Or your hands. Or your tits.

He slows down to a slow grind, teasing himself with the thought of you. What would you look like when he made you cum? What would you look like when you came on your own fingers?

He speeds up a little more, groaning and whimpering as the need to cum quickly approaches. The knot in his belly has become even tighter, ready to burst. Jungkook feels like his skin is on fire, his hands doing little to alleviate it.

He pulls off of the counter and strokes himself harshly with rough tugs, groaning your name under his breath. Jungkook thinks about you, waking up next to you after a nap together, bringing you ice cream after a long day, kissing you just because he can in his fantasies.

Thick ropes of white coat his hands and spray across the counter recklessly as he moans brokenly for nobody to hear. 

Jungkook’s knees feel weak as he tries to regain his breath. He braces himself on the counter before taking a paper towel to clean himself up. After, he wets a paper towel with soap and cleans up the counter and the mirror.

His cheeks are blazing once the gravity of what he just did hits him. How is he supposed to face you now?

He doesn’t regret it. You’re his dream girl.

It’s no surprise that soon after Jungkook emerges from the bathroom, the closing remarks are just about to finish. That’s great timing because once they do, he’s booking it out of the hotel as fast as he can. 

And that’s exactly what he does. He leaves, only saying goodbye to Namjoon and makes a beeline for the exit. His Uber is already waiting for him.

He doesn’t notice you looking for him to say goodbye.

It’s later, when he’s in the safety of his bedroom and in his pajamas, that his phone lights up-

you: hey, u must have left before I found you. Just wanted to say bye and happy holidays Jk 💓

Jungkook can’t help his heart doing cartwheels or the smile on his face at your text.

He also can’t help his cock from jumping, either. 

[asingleheart-shapedbraincell]

Obey Me! Brothers as Werewolves

Lucifer

Gonna remind everyone now that alpha theory was disproven and actual wolf packs act as family units

That being said - alpha, clearly

Not because he's the strongest (though he is) but because he's the most nurturing

Considers all his brothers (and you) to be his responsibility and under his care

Second biggest in wolf form (next to Beel)

Thick, dark fur, great in winter but in summer hates how hot and itchy it gets. Shedding his winter coat is an EVENT. Scratch him and fluff just falls out by the handfuls

Hates how patchy he looks when shedding, very grumpy when its happening

Refuses to ask for help when it comes to brushing out his coat, but if you're somewhere private he is very happy to just lie there whilst you brush out all that itchy loose fluff

Also just very nice to pet in general, but rarely let's you outside of softer moments :/

Not outwardly aggressive - when correcting his brothers behaviour hes more likely to just growl softly instead of going for a full snarl. If he actually shows his teeth then things are serious and you might want to have some final words with your jugular

Isn't very affectionate in public, but is very protective - wherever you go, if hes in his wolf form hes by your side, or at the very least is keeping an eye on you

If anyone he doesnt like the look of approaches you, he calmly places himself between the two of you. If that isn't enough trust me, a staring contest with those eyes isn't going to last long

Mammon

Pretty boyyo

White fur thats not nearly as thick and long as Lucifer's but still has a substantial ruff

Uses his wolf form to run away from loan sharks a lot (hey, four legs are quicker than two, right?)

Also loves the attention he gets from girls - he knows he's handsome in both forms, but girls say it more when they think he can't understand them

Sheds the least of all the brothers, but since his coat is so pale his hair is more noticeable so he still gets flack for getting it on the furniture

Hes still needy as a wolf

You know those videos of huskies throwing massive tantrums??? Yeah, hes on that level, his dramatics only kept in check by his tsundere nature

Loves it when you pet him. He'll pretend he doesn't, but the second you stop hes gonna start whining

(Doesn't) hate it when you baby-talk him

Not generally aggressive within the pack, just prickly - maybe a growl or a huff here and there, maybe a snap if someone's really pushing his buttons

He is possessive tho

Will physically put himself between you and other people to get your attention. If the other person doesn't take the hint, then he's showing teeth

If you don't let him sleep in the room with you, you'll open your bedroom door the next day and find him curled up outside

Definitely wants to put his head in you lap and have you stroke him til he falls asleep but refuses to admit it

Gets jealous if you're petting another brother at the same time as him and will throw a tantrum and try to shove them away from you

He was your first pact, which means he has first dibs on all cuddles!!!! What do ya mean that's not a rule??? Thats totally a rule!!!!

Leviathan

'Hes not dog friendly'

Spends very little time in his wolf form (its hard to game without opposable thumbs)

Does sometimes shift out of shock tho

Like, if you kiss him unexpectedly, poof! There's a wolf infront of you, who's blushing lobster red underneath all that fur

Will hide under the bed

✨separation anxiety✨

Glued to your side in wolf form, because he doesn't like or trust other people or wolves (and definitely NOT because he likes your company and wants you to maybe pet him 😳😳😳)

Kinda likes that you can't see him blushing when he's in wolf form

Will lie next to you and wait for you to initiate pets. Especially loves it when you scratch him behind the ears.

Because hes a shut in and doesn't spend a lot of time in his wolf form, his fur is the messiest - patchy winter coat, small tangles, really just needs a good brush (but only if you do it)

Not really aggressive to others, just not friendly. Maybe a growl every now and then, and sometimes a tantrum gets thrown, but thats it

Satan

Still quite cat-like

Hes not going to be throwing any loud husky-like tantrums

Doesn't like that he can't read books in wolf form (difficult to turn pages without hands) but does enjoy the emotional release for his anger when it comes to hunting Hell-Hinds and other demonic deer.

Fur is short, sleek, a lovely pale gold and well-kept (when it isn't bloodied by his most recent hunt)

When he isn't hunting he does enjoy stretching out infront of a fireplace and warming his fur

Is unopposed to being brushed when he's in the position, and may even allow you to pet his head gently, but thats it

Might lay his head in your lap tho

Sheds the least of all the brothers

Still tries to control his temper in wolf form, but you better hope he maintains it because those teeth can issue you a one-way ticket to the afterlife

Sometimes snaps or growls at his brothers, but is more likely to just leave the room if they're annoying him. If they're in his room then they're getting chased out with their tail between their legs (except Lucifer who wouldn't invade his space like that)

Asmodeus

Who's a pretty boy???? Who is???

Its him!!!!!!

Friendliest of all the brothers, if only because he loves the attention people give him

Will walk up to you and just wait for the compliments (not unusual, tbf)

Doesn't love the hunting side of being a wolf - mud???? Blood??? Sweat???? In MY fur??????? I don't think so

Only really partakes when necessary, or if he's decided to go for a roguishly disheveled look that day

Uses his wolf form as an excuse to get affection that would be less appropriate in his human form - belly rubs, giving you puppy-dog eyes to be let up onto the bed, getting you to give him a bath - stuff that Lucifer would be more likely to reprimand him for when he wasn't a wolf

Softest fur of all the brothers - sleek, silky and always throughly brushed out, even when shedding. Plus, loves being pet so long as you don't mess up his fur too much.

Beelzebub

GOOD BOY GRANDE

The biggest of boys, the goodest of boys

Loves being in wolf form because its even easier to get food from people

You think his puppy eyes are bad NOW??? WAIT UNTIL HES AN ACTUAL PUPPY

Very comfortable in his wolf form, spends the most time out of all the brothers like that

Has absolutely no shame begging food from people's tables, no matter where you are. Also has no shame stealing food from people's tables, but will whine and act ashamed if they yell at him

Dont yell at him. He's baby.

Incredibly fluffy red coat, that and the amount of muscle underneath makes him the biggest wolf in the pack by far

Big doggy grin that could melt any heart

So tall that when he wags his tail you have to make sure it doesn't sweep everything off the table

Also loves being pet and doesn't mind baby talk at all. You can treat him like an actual dog and he won't get mad - he'll play fetch with you if you really want, but as a warning, the stick might end up more than a little chewed

Will, however, also go digging through people's bins

Also kinda slobbery

Is pretty much never aggressive, but then again, who would be stupid enough to provoke something with that much muscle and teeth???

If you scritch the right spot behind his ear his leg kicks out. He's not ashamed. More scritches pls.

But his favourite spot for scritches are under his jaw and his chin

WHAT ARE YOU EATING??? HEY!!! NO!!!! WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH???? BEEL YOU CANT EAT CHOCOLATE WHEN YOURE A WOLF!!!!! DROP IT!!!! DROP IT!!!!

Belphagor

Smallest of the wolves

Enjoys sleeping in wolf form because the fur adds an extra level of cosiness

You will just find him curled up in a nest of pillows with his nose tucked under his tail. Or flopped across a sofa, until Lucifer yells at him to get off the furniture

Has that intense stink-eye that some huskies are capable of.

Sometimes forgets to shift, or can't be bothered and will just wander around attempting to do people things until he realises hes in the wrong body - you ever gone to brush your teeth and then realised you need hands for that???

Definitely walks around holding his cow pillow in his mouth, or sometimes a plushie

Or dragging a blanket

Honestly its very cute

Does enjoy being gently pet as his drifts of to sleep

Which is good because his fur is always mussed up from his last nap

But if he falls asleep on you???? You're not moving. Sorry not sorry. This is your life now.

Little wolf bleps when he sleeps ➖👅➖

Has definitely vomited in Lucifers shoes as a wolf at least once, simply out of spite

Thick fur, but not long. Sheds a lot, but his fur is so dark you don't see it as much.

Lets out little muffled woofs and yips when he sleeps, and twitches when he dreams of running

If you scratch the right spot when hes sleeping, his leg will kick out the same as Beels, but if you do it when hes awake he'll get embarrassed and either leave, or give you a warning nip

The most aggressive with other pack members - hes just kinda bratty. Huffs a lot and is quick to give out little nips when he isn't happy, though he isn't much of a growler and never goes farther than that

Won't play fetch like Beel, but if you're REALLY lucky, he'll bring you a plushie of your own when he joins you for a nap

(Also, im relatively new to the game, I know there was a vampire event, if there was a werewolf event im unaware of it atm, but this is just for fun anyway)