#But there's so much more good Matt and Lindsay content there too

[once-in-a-blue-moon2612]

I will say this

Not to blanket over this shitty situation, because it needs to be said, what has happened is fucking shitty. It’s shitty what Kdin, Mica, Fiona, and possibly other folks who’ve worked at RT had gone through. And then of course, Matt was reduced to just part-time, despite being one of the on-screen talents and content creators for AH, he was reduced to a part-timer. And not only that, a lot of other people in RT were laid off. An all around shitty situation, and the community for RT/AH is already feeling the hurt and betrayal from thinking this company was our friend. But, we were very much reminded that companies can and will stab you in the back and will leave you to bleed out for even thinking about trusting them at face value. Sure, this is pointing fingers at Warner Bros. Discovery, but as more people come forward, we’re seeing a lot of shit that’s been going on behind the scenes at RT that have a lot of us turning in our first memberships, and I don’t blame anyone for doing so because I certainly turned mine in.

But, there are still some very good people in this company. Like, look at it like this: what they were 10 years ago, is vastly different to how they are now. I won’t say today or yesterday, for obvious reasons, but as of now, there have been some good folks here. Geoff and Gavin both used to be very problematic. That Nether Portal video that, though has been removed from the Let’s Play channel, is still out there somewhere. Michael too had a certain video on his YouTube channel that, though he himself now frowns upon, is very offensive. Jeremy too is not in the clear here, as I still remember the compass argument. And now to hear that they used to call Kdin a slur nickname, that sounds very much like them, I will not lie. They were very, VERY immature back then, despite being grown ass men who knew the consequences of doing these things. Not a single one of them is without sin in this workplace, and RT definitely is not free of sin. 

However, they’ve gotten better over the years. They’ve raised so much money during extra life as well as other charity streams they’ve done, they’re becoming more inclusive and diverse, something that they certainly weren’t 10 years ago. 10 years ago, I don’t think I saw a single woman other than Barbara and Lindsay. Now, you look at their cast and the people that work there and there are more women working here, along with POC and LGBTQ+ individuals, with Lindsay being non-binary themselves. And hell, the main crew themselves are much more mature than they were back then. Like I know for a fact that present day Geoff would beat the shit out of 10 years ago Geoff, or hell, even beat the shit out of the Geoff that started the company because I know that Geoff was probably worse than 10 years ago Geoff. 

Sure, this will never excuse the things they’ve said and done, but to say everyone in this company is shitty and terrible isn’t really the best way to, I don’t know, cope? with this situation. Because, there’s no coping here. There’s the presented fact that shit has happened within this company that cannot be reversed or taken back. What has been said and done can’t be erased, and the people who are on camera are just as, if not, more so guilty for letting it happen and participating in it. I know, they can’t do much as it would ruin their own appearance, but the fact that they’ve only scratched the surface of what they could do (See: An Honest Discussion - Off Topic #236), instead of really getting to the bottom of the things they’ve let fly under the radar, really doesn’t sit well with me. NDAs be damned, they need to unpack all the wrongdoings and unfair treatment they’ve done to their own employees, who are now ex-employees.  Like I know this is me trying to save them some face and trust me, I’m not. I’m very disappointed and even disgusted with how they treated Kdin, Mica, Fiona, and everyone else who got shit on so much that leaving/being laid off was the best choice for them cause now, they no longer have to deal with the bullshit the company gave to them. Bullshit that they’ve never signed up for and was given to anyway, and the only thing we, the community, can really say to them is we’re sorry that it happened when it shouldn’t have happened anyway.  All that’s left now is to try and see what happens moving forward. Like is there a future for RT/AH down the road? Who knows at this point. With all that has happened, it’s a wonder as to if the fan base will remain the same, or shrink down to the thousands, or even hundreds at this point. 

[somegrumpynerd]

Best of I don’t think Matt and Lindsay have a team name but I love them

[imladris-soldier]

Burn Him Out

DISCLAIMER!!!!!: This piece is 100% just me trying to deal with issues I still have regarding R*an and everything he did. I’m only sharing it here in case it might help anyone else. Please do not take it too seriously. I just thought that writing something out would help me.

The Vagabond betrayed the team. He has to pay.

“He betrayed us.”

The declaration was definitive, though one would be lying if they said they couldn't see the weary grief in Geoff's eyes from behind his desk. The rest of the crew were scattered around his penthouse office in various states of discomfort.

You were leaned up against the wall to Geoff's right with your arms crossed tightly over your chest and your eyes on the floor. It had come first as a shock, and then as a gut wrenching blow when the news about The Vagabond was revealed. Jeremy had been the one to text you. Perhaps they'd known he would be the best choice – or perhaps none of the others were brave enough to do it. You'd gone off grid for days and done a few things you weren't proud of, almost going so far as to revert back to the person you were before the Fake AH Crew had found you and adopted you into their ranks.

Something had convinced you to turn your phone back on, and you'd been greeted by a call from Jack, begging you to come back to the pent house. Her voice was rough as though she'd been crying. That had been enough to bring you back to them – to stand in this room with them and decide what was going to be done about the man who had destroyed your unit. Your family.

“He has to pay,” Lindsay finally said, her voice sharp and brittle. “We can't let this go.”

“We won't,” Geoff assured her. “That's why I wanted you all here. To talk about our options.”

“Let's just snipe him and be done with it,” Trevor suggested from where he sat in a cushy white chair with his elbows on his knees.

“That's an idea. But I figured you lot would want something bigger.”

“He knows what he did,” Jeremy cut in. “He won't show his face long enough for that to work. He knows we'll be coming for him eventually.”

Matt asked, “Then how do we know he's even still in Los Santos?”

“I've kept my ear to the ground,” Geoff answered. “The Vagabond has been seen. Fleetingly, but he's here.”

“Fucking fool,” you muttered under your breath. He should have left and kept his mouth shut – disappeared off the face of the god damn Earth, but no. He was too proud; too convinced of his invulnerability. On one hand, perhaps you could understand why. Even after this, there would still be crews willing to work with him or take him in. Despicable. He'd do the same things all over again if given the chance. He had to go.

“Anyone in particular want the honors?”

The room was quiet. Despite everything, he'd been a friend. Everyone there had cared about him, laughed with him, run jobs with him at their back. The crew was harsh when it had to be, but this even they balked at.

Fiona quietly spoke up. “Well, we have to draw him out first, right? How do we do that?”

Geoff nodded. “I have contacts all throughout this city. We could set up a fake job. Get word out that they're looking to hire him specifically? Could work. We have to be careful though. Can't have any of us connected to it, whispers or otherwise. He'll know it's a trap.”

“It should be secluded,” Trevor added. “Whatever it is. He's done enough harm. We don't need collateral damage.”

Slowly, an idea began to form in your head. “Would a few dead cops bother you, Treh?”

He thought on that for a moment, then shook his head. “Nah. Just no civilians, alright?”

“What are you thinking, Y/N?” Jack asked.

Your eyes scanned the room, meeting the gaze of most of your crew in the process. “You know that out of use gondola station up on Chilead? We lure him up there, and set the cops on him. Get him caught. Then we sabotage the cop cars. Options there, obviously, but I personally wouldn't mind sticky bombs.” You paused, your voice hovering over the thought that had come to you. “I wouldn't mind pushing the button.”

The silence that greeted you was humming with a little bit of surprise, but it soon dissipated as the plan was considered.

“Seems a little flashy,” Alfredo replied. “Why not just gang up on him at the gondola station?”

You shrugged. “We could do that too. But it needs to send a message. Don't fuck with us. Don't fuck with the people we protect. We take care of our own, and nothing gets in our way. Not cops, not sick, traitorous bastards like The Vagabond. Nothing.”

Geoff nodded thoughtfully, then asked, “Anyone got any better ideas?” No one spoke up, so he nodded again. “Fine. We'll do it your way, Y/N. You'll need someone with you to help you plant the bombs without being seen. Who do you want?”

Your eyes passed between each of your friends, considering the pros and cons of each. In truth, you would have preferred Jeremy at your side, but getting him out of his Rimmy Tim outfit for work was nigh impossible, and bright orange was the last thing you needed to pull this off. Matt was quiet enough, but too easily fumbled things – not a good quality when dealing with bombs. Jack would have worked if she wasn't so clearly emotionally affected by everything that had happened.

You sighed, massaging your temples. Fiona and Alfredo were too loud. Gavin goofed too easily and might just as soon attach a bomb to his own foot before the car. Lindsay may have been a good choice as she seemed to share your rage, but she was showing it too much. Given how much of a wild card she could be, you weren't sure she wouldn't run off to beat the Vagabond to death herself and get arrested in the process. Trevor maybe, but he looked so tired already. He was angry, but beat down.

At long last, your eyes landed on Michael. He stared back in stony silence – a resolve and quiet that you needed. “Michael comes with me.”

Geoff looked over to the younger man who nodded shortly. “Fine. Get the supplies you need. I'll start setting it up.”

With that, the crew broke ranks and spread throughout the apartment to brood and stew on it all. You touched bases with Michael briefly, giving him a list of things to acquire while you looked over the map and decided on where to place the two of you for the job.

As you stared down at the paper, Jeremy joined you. He stood there silently for a time, watching you work, then finally murmured, “You sure about this?”

“Yeah. Easy enough. I've run car bombing jobs dozens of times.”

“That's not what I mean.”

You sighed, feeling your shoulders sink some. “You mean am I sure I want to press the button.” He nodded. “I want him gone, Jeremy. From Los Santos. From this planet. But mostly from here.” You pointed to your head. “I want to forget I ever knew his name, ever saw his face, ever heard his laugh. I don't want to spend another god damn second of my life thinking about Ryan fucking Haywood. I don't want him to have this shadow over me anymore. So yeah. I'm ok with writing him out of this story. Burning him out. Fuck him for what he did. He hurt so many people. Including me.”

Jeremy nodded. “I know.” He put his hand on your shoulder and squeezed. “Get it done. I'll be here when you're finished.”

He left you alone. An angry tear slipped down your nose onto the map beneath you.

It took a few weeks for Geoff to get the fake job planted, but soon his informants were letting him know that the Vagabond had taken the bait. The job would be run, just as planned, and you and Michael would be waiting.

The two of you staked out the gondola station hours before the job was supposed to take place, keeping to your hiding places in case the Vagabond had done the same. You were quiet for a long time, but eventually you looked over to your companion and told him, “Thank you for coming with me.”

“Sure,” he replied. “It needs to be done.”

You nodded. “Still. Thanks.”

Something about him softened. “I know this isn't easy for you. It's not easy for me either. But it's the right thing to do. I got your back, Y/N.”

With that, a peace settled over you, and you were content to wait out the rest of the afternoon in silence.

As the sun dipped low, you began to strategically place your items to make for quick work. Once that was done, you texted Jack to call the police. It would take them a bit to get mobilized and up the mountain, but just a hint of the Vagabond would send them running.

As expected, in the hazy purple of twilight, you heard a motorcycle heading up the road. You and Michael looked at one another before you peaked out over the large boulder you'd set up behind. It was him, alright. The blue and black of his jacket struck a nostalgic chord inside you, causing your insides to clench in pain. Fuck.

As soon as he disappeared into the building to begin collecting the “loot” (it was really just several boxes of rocks that Matt and Alfredo had put together), Michael slipped out into the darkness to drag his knife through the tires of the motorcycle the Vagabond had arrived on to keep him from escaping on it, then hid himself on the other side of the road, just as the sounds of cars reached you.

The police didn't have their lights or sirens on – some actual wisdom on their part for once. Not until they had blocked the whole road with their vehicles and surrounded the building did they make their presence known.

“Vagabond! We know you're in there. Come out with your hands up!”

He was outnumbered, but of course that didn't keep him from trying to shoot his way out. In the chaos, you and Michael weaved between the police cars, sticking the explosives to the bottoms. You met at the back of the line, then ran off the road once more into the brush and trees.

A few cops went down in the fray, but they were soon leading the Vagabond out in handcuffs. They'd ripped his mask off, smearing his makeup and leaving his dark hair in a frizzy mess. You stared at him as they took him to one of the cars. For so long he had made you feel safe and happy, despite his darker turns. You'd never thought him capable of such a betrayal – of something so fucking heinous. Looking at him now made you feel sick and sad and broken. You missed the man you thought he was. Fuck, you missed that man.

But this one. He wasn't that man. The mask was off at last. Not so infallible after all.

The cars started down the mountain in single file, due to the narrow road, and the one they had placed their prisoner in went last. You waited until they were about 50 yards away before stepping out of your hiding spot into the middle of the road.

“What are you doing?” Michael hissed.

You ignored him and waited for what you were hoping to see. The rear car slowed as the cop driving it saw you, and then you saw him look. The Vagabond turned his head to look out the rear windshield at what the cop had seen. And he saw you – standing there with the detonator in hand. You met his blue eyes and held it up between you.

“Go directly the fuck to hell, Ryan,” you said as you pressed the button.

The cars lit up like a botched 4th of July celebration, sending careening, burning metal flying across the mountainside. The entire parade of them burst into flames and crashed into one another, shrieking and rumbling.

You stood there, staring at the carnage and listening to the screams. The last car in the line was just a pile of shredded car parts, but in the flames you could see the black and blue jacket, burning, and you let that image flood through your veins and into the folds of your brain. Burn him out. Forget.

Michael met you in the road, nodding some in approval. “Nicely done,” he told you. “Let's get back before more cops show up.”

You nodded too and threw the detonator into the fire. “Let's go home.”

The penthouse was quiet when the pair of you arrived back, but everyone slowly filtered into the living room to be briefed. You opened your mouth a few times, but found that nothing would come out. Instead, you turned on the TV and navigated to the news station which was reporting the explosion on the side of Mount Chilead.

The group watched it in silence for a while, then Geoff said, “Well done.”

After that, people began to trickle back to their rooms. Michael pat you on the back and followed Lindsay out. Gavin came and gave you a somewhat awkward hug before he left. In the end, only you and Jeremy remained in the room, staring at the TV emptily.

He came and stood next to you, taking your hand into his own. “Did it help?” he asked gently.

You nodded.

“Good.”

[writerofshit]

Alright let's talk wholesome crimebois and gals shall we?

Let's talk about the crew heading to Disney for the day, only some of them Actually On Board at the beginning of it. Some of them (looking at you, Ryan and Michael. You too, Jeremy, don't think you can sneak out of this.) drag their feet and complain.

"We are goddamn criminals, Jack, I killed a man last week." Ryan grumbles from the backseat. Jack had forced the three of them to ride with her and Lindsay, hoping their excitement might influence the boys. It doesn't.

Geoff and Trevor manage to worm their way out, citing 'important business' they needed to take care of. Right.

Anyhow, as soon as they all get there, the magic and goofiness of it all rub off on the naysayers. Ryan and Jeremy head straight to Tomorrowland, and they ride Space Mountain until they're dizzy. They buy novelty lightsabers and everytime they happen upon a crewmate, challenge them to a duel.

Fiona drags Gavin and Michael to Its A Small World, because that should really annoy them, right? It backfires, because they all get stuck for twenty goddamn minutes and also fuck that ride? Fiona hasn't realized HOW fucking catchy that song really was, how creepy the whole vibe was, or that she'd have to listen to the other two sing to her for the rest of the day.

Jack tries to keep Lindsay and Alfredo nearby because they're the most likely to wander off and start causing chaos. Jack does not want to get kicked out, not yet. They spend the day in Fantasy Land, riding whatever Alfredo is willing to and watching shows.

She doesn't have to worry about Matt, because he's basically eating his way across Disney. He runs into the others here and there, gets dragged onto rides under threat of getting hit with a plastic lightsaber.

At some point Jack rounds them all up for the Teacups, which is a Mistake in retrospect. Alfredo spends most of the ride with his eyes closed and trying to hold her hand. Ryan and Michael try to VS Jeremy and Gav to see who can get the fastest cup going, resulting in all four of them stumbling for a good ten minutes afterwards. Lindsay and Fiona are content to just take a ride, but Matt is insistent on competing with the others. It's a battle, and Fiona's shrieks drown out most everything else.

Despite the fact that they are all adults and all have money, they beg Jack to buy them things. They leave with tons of ride photos, way more merch than any of them need, and they each get custom ears made. Jeremy gets Figment themed ones and insists that actually, they're Spyro and Rimmy Tim. They made them just for him. (They didn't.)

They stay for the fireworks and there's a lovely moment of the nine of them, all exhausted from the day but deeply satisfied, grins on their faces and all leaned into each other. It lasts until Ryan comments that he could make a much better firework display, do they want to see?

No, Ryan, this is family fun day, stop looking at the castle like that. No crime.

They drive back to the hotel they're all staying at, and most of them are asleep before they're out of parking lot. Ryan has been granted front seat privileges due to the incredible restraint he showed.

"Thanks for bringing us, Jack. It was actually a lot of fun."

Jack is about to respond when something shoots off into the sky behind them. So much for restraint.

[adozentothedawn]

Got tagged by @orime-stories, thank you!^^ And I absolutely consider you one of the bright spots too! :D Without you I wouldn’t have found my way here and I’ve been so much lonlier.

Three ships

I’m not really into shipping to be honest, but these are the ones I sometimes actively seek content for.

Claudeleth. Claude is my baby and I love him and Byleth will take good care of him, just like the other way around. I’ve seen some really good fics of the two of them and I love them. A lot. You can pry these two out of my cold dead fingers. And while we’re here, Hilda totally ships it and gets her girlfriend Marianne in board as well.

Chrobin. Ah, Fire Emblem Awakening, the game that introduced me to Matt Mercer and even let my self-insert marry him. Yeah sue me, I really loved. I don’t think I can ever play awakening without romancing Chrom. He’s such delightful dumbass. Also Lucina and Morgan are my babies. (Another one from Awakening I really like is LonMiri. They are so stupid I love them. @fuckyeahlonmiri there still are some of us and I was working on a good post, but I haven’t gotten around to it, never give up hope!)

Kanerah x The Baroness x Kalikke. (If there is a shipping name I don’t know and I’m worse off for it.) My tiefling wives are the best and I can’t understand why so few people ship it. I get the appeal of Tristian, but have you seen these two? I love them. They deserve love too and I’ll make sure they get it!

As you can see, these are all kind of self-insert ships (though to be fair Byleth has at this point evolved beyond that. She’s great.) I’m not sorry for it, and neither should you. (Also can some people please stop pretending only male Robin and male Byleth are canon? Thanks.)

Last songs listened to:

I’ll actually give you more than just one, because I have thoughts. Surprising I know. Anyway, the very last one was The Mary Ellen Carter, because this song is not finished packing its bags and moving out of my head, even after I finished the chapter from The Adventures of Hildraed Dawnsbane. 

And the other one right before that is All You Wanna Do from the Musical Six. To be honest, I don’t think I’d like the show, it just seems like it’d hit all my pet peeves, but there are some nice songs. This song specifically has absolutely made me obsessed. This is the one song with an actual arc, and it protrays it so well too. You can hear the singer move her face to emote and the emotions are so clear it’s delightful. YOu can ust hear the pain every time she says “connection” Also it just really resonates with me, it builds her character so perfectly and tells her story in one song. (I am ignoring historical accuracy, because I don’t want to shovel myself into an early grave, and also that’s not the point of musical anyway.) Also also, tell me this doesn’t sound like beginning of some lesbian romance novel. Even better an ace lesbian romance novel! I keep waiting for her knight in shining armour to storm in and mow down the assholes for the real romance to begin. (No really though, I have a whole head of ranting how she’s is totally portrayed as ace here. May write it down at some point. For now let’s just say that this totally a Jessica Rabbit situation.)

Currently watching:

The Mighty Nein! I love my boy Caduceus and will defend him from the grabby shipper hands. At least in my own imagination. Anyway, Talisien, how do you do it? How do you make me fall in love with every single one of your characters? If I do end up watching Vox Machina as well, know that it’ll be just for Percy.

Aside from that I’ve wanted to rewatch The Witcher, My Hero Academia, and The Hollow Crown for a while. And I keep rotating back to the same video essays on Youtube. Lindsay Ellis, Jenny Nicholson, and Sideways have also moved into my head and refuse to leave.

Currently reading:

Still Kyoshi, because reading books is hard, even when they’re really fun. There’s also Good Omens that I want to read (and watch) again, the screenplay of it (which is hilarious in of itself), really any Terry Pratchett book (but his phantom of the opera version is among my top choices because of the aformentioned Lindsay Ellis), and also the newest (and last) installment of The Trials of Apollo. That one will probably be my last Rick Riordan book (at least for a while), since I’m really noticing know how I’ve grown out of them. I already wasn’t really invested in Magnus Chase anymore, but I really want to finish Apollo’s story at least, he’s fun. 

How’s it going:

All in all, not bad really. Or at least not as bad as it could be. My family wasn’t really hit by covid, as my dad works in the computer department (? translation is hard too) of a bank and so home office really wasn’t an issue (for me it was just annoying because his office is right next to me room and so he kept waking me up), and my mom was already pretty good with computer technology and so actually got more jobs getting the schools tech stuff up to date and helping the other teacher get a hang of it, so at least money isn’t really an issue. (Not we’re not rich, but you know what I mean.) Home schooling for uni also really isn’t bad, especially the lectures can definitely stay that way. Absolutely nothing changes, aside from the fact that I can sleep longer and have an infinte supply of tea. Yes please, I’ll take it. And from the way it sounds, my chances actually won’t be terrible that they’ll really keep it around after covid. We’ll see. It also means that everyone else also has to rely on things like discord for social contact, which is just so much nicer for my introverted ass. You can just meet up in two seconds and leave just as fast if you want. The shittiest part of it for me is the fact that I can’t use my dice anymore for roleplaying. And my birthday LARP weekend was cancelled. 

So really right now the shittiest thing is the five exams I’ll have in the last two weeks of january. Fuck me. Especially because I really don’t have a feel yet how much I really have to study for this shit.

A whole bunch of people were already tagged for this but I think @stylishanachronism, @moon-sugar, @porokelle, @oddstitchlips, @haledamage, and @quenthelicious remain untagged. So if you want, consider this your invitation!^^

[allinmycorner]

This week saw our first elimination of Season 30 and I’m sure none of you are surprised to see whose picture is gracing this week’s recap. 

Cheryl did test positive for COVID-19 on Sunday and so was not allowed to be in the ballroom. Because she and Cody were naturally in close contact, he was also not allowed to be in the ballroom either. I’ll go into how they handled their performance later but we did get to see Cheryl and Cody via Zoom. Cheryl said she’s doing okay and was grateful she got the vaccine or else it could’ve been worse than what it was. 

Let’s see how the second week went! 

Martin and Britt: This wasn't much of a surprise. In a particularly strong season, Martin really stood out for the wrong reasons. But both of his routines were still fun to watch. I'm sad to see Britt go this early but she choreographed some great routines for Martin, allowing him to have some fun and try something new. See you two at the finale!

Amanda and Alan: Amanda continues to do well and is easily a front runner. She and Alan have a good partnership and their foxtrot was gorgeous. Of course there are things she needs to work on, but she has almost everything else. I look forward to seeing what else she has to offer in the coming weeks.

JoJo and Jenna: JoJo's new puppy is so cute! I also love the friendship she as with Jenna. It really carries over into their routines and JoJo nailed the cha-cha. She and Amanda are likely going to be duking it out for the top spot for almost the entire competition. But I do wonder how JoJo will handle the slower, more subdued dances. So far she's gotten two dances that match her energy levels so that will be interesting.

Mel C and Gleb: Mel C is also a great dancer. She handled her foxtrot with Gleb with finesse. I think she might need a little bit more polish but maybe we'll have an all female finals. That would be fun to see! And maybe Ringo Starr will send another message to Mel C!

Suni and Sasha: Sasha helped Suni tap into her emotions and not be afraid to share them. She opened up how that is not accepted in the world of gymnastics but she's enjoying being able to express her emotions. And it does seem to help her cha-cha. There was a lot more smiling and it looked like she was having fun. She still needs to work on being a bit smoother but otherwise, another great routine!

Jimmie and Emma: Jimmie danced a rumba to his own song. He spoke about his childhood and praised his mother for having the strength to face the challenges they had. He had a great emotional connection with the song and it showed in his movements. They may not have been the smoothest or the best but they had a lot of heart. And sometimes, that's all you need in the dance.

Melora and Artem: Melora dedicated her dance to her daughters, who are off at school and making her feel a bit of an empty nester with her husband. She and Artem danced a beautiful rumba. I would love for Melora to be something of a dark horse, the one who might be underestimated and could have a surge as the competition progresses.

Olivia and Val: Apparently there was some internet rumor that Olivia Jade has an agreement with ABC to stay on the show for at least three weeks. The producers slammed it and I just have to roll my eyes. There are always these reports about "fixes." I think Olivia will be around for much longer than three weeks. I don't know if she can make it to the finals but I would be surprised if she didn't make it to at least the halfway point. She's got some talent and is a good dancer. We can continue to debate if she deserves redemption or if this is the right way to get it, but I don't think there's any "fix" in for her.

The Miz and Witney: The Miz is absolutely a showman, which makes sense coming from the WWE. He knows how to entertain and hold a crowd. And now he knows how to dance as well. Or at least is starting to know. He was able to contain his energy for the tango, finding the right balance for the dance. He could be another dark horse if he can pull away from the pack in the coming weeks.

Iman and Daniella: Daniella choreographed more content for them this week and it showed. She still needs to bit the bullet and stay in hold with Iman more. Once again, I think the height difference can be overcome and right now, it seems like she's scared of it. But she's talented and he has some natural abilities for dance. I think they can both do it and really start to stand out more.

Christine and Pasha: I'm actually really liking Christine. Her excitement and joy seems to be infectious. And it's sweet the show found a clip of her sitting behind Bruno in the audience. She's apparently gone to a lot of tapings of the show and now she's on it! She struggled a bit in the beginning with her salsa but once she got it, she got it. I think she was in the bottom two because not many may know who she is and I hope that doesn't hurt her in the long run.

Cody and Cheryl: Since Cheryl tested positive and Cody was naturally in close contact with her, both were not allowed in the ballroom. So the judges, along with us at home, watched footage taken from a recent rehearsal. It was the full routine just minus costumes and anything else they would've added for the show, so just the dance. Since it was a rehearsal dance, it wasn't as polished as it might have been but it was still a solid salsa. I think the judges' scores were fair. I look forward to seeing them back in the ballroom though we have since learned that Cody has tested positive too. It sounds like they will still compete from their homes so it will be interesting to see.

Kenya and Brandon: Kenya talked about some of the struggles she's been experiencing lately and how she's trying to remain positive through them. She imbued her cha-cha with her inner strength and joy, making it a delight to watch. She and Brandon are another good partnership and work well together. I think she will be around a bit longer as well but she's going to have to step up her game. This is a very competitive bunch and she needs to start standing out a bit more.

Brian and Sharna: They are so sweet together! It's lovely to see. But unfortunately, to paraphrase Jade from another one of Tyra's shows, this isn't America's Next Top Couple. It's Dancing With the Stars. While their rumba had a lot of emotion, it needed a lot more finesse with the movements. Brian had a great focus on Sharna but he needs to also extend that to the steps as well. I think this might've been an off-week and hopefully they can bounce back next week.

Matt and Lindsay: Matt got a chance to dance with Rachel before he and Lindsay took to the dance floor with their samba. It was a good start. I think Derek had some good advice - if he works on his bounce than the hips will follow. And that will please Len as well as make his future Latin dances better.

Next week is Britney Night! See you all for that! 

[achieveandhunt]

live typing extra life 2019

warning: this a fucking LONG post. if you plan on reading it all, godspeed.

i typed all of this as it was happening on stream so this gets progressively less coherent as i grow more sleep deprived. prepare yourselves. i may or may not go off topic at some points

larry vehemently vomiting pure malic acid. we’re off to a great start

what the fuck the soggy ass popcorn in that ranch jesus christ

lindsay in the song from AH the musical. i love her so much

jeremy going YAAAAAAY after someone eats a cursed oreo

matt getting AGGRESSIVELY kissed by larry

“this kiss this kiss” before geoff and jack kiss

geoff “i’m from alabama” ramsey

THIS FUCKING RANCH SEGMENT HAS ME GAGGING

jeremy “the alcohol demon the whiskey goblin” dooley

alfredo “you wont believe what the white people did today” diaz

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS GET THAT DICK ESSENCE

wait why does it sound like wonderwall

they look like characters from the matrix

the speaking parts. make my teeth hurt

in conclusion: they weren’t kidding abt the tight pants 

okay everyone get ready for eric soundboard spamming YEAH BABEY

“hi i’m from broadcast and i don’t want to be here” they represent themselves well

also, let’s take a second to appreciate broadcast here!! they have a really tough job and don’t get a ton of credit. lots of love to all of broadcast!!! you guys are awesome

i am: foreseeing problems with this eric sound board

which one is eric?? will the real eric please stand up?? was the real eric the one we found along the way??

“i’m... just really worried that i won’t ever find love-” “i really don’t care”

WHY DO THEY HAVE THAT ON THE SOUNDBOARD (what does that apply to? whatever it is you’re thinking of, but mostly “daddy wants some”)

ooh someone’s about to get a fReE tongue piercing from a pineapple

god dammit i went to the bathroom for thirty seconds and now they’re eating chad’s chest hair

owie the shock collar and belly slap look painful, but drinking natty light from a shoe? that’s a true punishment

“and this roast was brought to you by meundies”

ah yes what better way is there to end a segment than people throwing up

“man action” oh no

THROBERT MULVEINY

K A R B is blind in T W O of her eyes

“my last name is cottagecheese”

I HAVE A PIECE OF METAL SHOVED UP MY A S S 

chris has somehow managed to lose 23 years of age and roughly 412 pounds

“just open throat like baby bird” who the fuck is writing this and why is it jeremy

jon. jon you’re breathing in adam’s ass fumes

a summary of this segment: ass and cottage cheese

BARB IS HERE I REPEAT BARB IS HERE

“to fitness” -starts choking-

final fitness coach: tad, here to workout your issues so they can beat you into submission

“will you buy my wet” well i don’t see that on the raffle items

we’re back folks & i’m loving this walk around segment

moonball wall and gavin&michael will soon be reunited can we get an F in the chat

jeremy getting a borderlands tattoo is very on brand

what’s extra life without a little satan

“starvation army, putting lead back into paint, increasing childhood obesity” people in chat: TAKE MY MONEY

chris “i’m doing a different hole” demarais

ah yes. the game we all play in hell: twister

nobody edit chris getting mustard shot down his throat. i’m scarred enough from the original clip

oh fuck. oh god. the mayo. oh god what the fuck is up with the misuse of condiments this year

this just in: a human soul costs roughly $12,700

D̷̯͑̆̈́͝Õ̸̲͎̥̬͈̬̙͕̲G̸̢̧̠͉͚̙̲̙̓̔̀̇S̷̥̀́͆̈́̇̀ ̶̣̞̗͚̬̭̖̦͇̈́̎̈́̿̓̈́͆̒̋D̷̙̟̩̫͉̺̐̊̚Ö̶̥́̋́̓ͅĜ̵̞̌͋̏̉̌̕͝͝S̵̤̹̣̫̮̻͛̍̑̕͝͝ ̷̧̨̞̙̥̟̜͍̉̍̑̏̇̀̾D̴̻̮̩̯͓͉̖͎̘͐̒͋̓̉͝ͅỎ̶̰͓̳̥͑̅͛͊̒͐͊͘̚G̵̩̻̦̥̠̃̔Ş̶̹͚̩̱͖̀͆͘ ̸̢̢͇̻͔̗̺̼͖̱̏̾̔̚D̴̨̨̫̙̃̾̋̾̆̓̓Ớ̷̡͓͎͊G̶̱̣̣̰̝̖̰̗̓͐̐̊͋̀͊̀̕͝Ş̷̩̺̬̖͙̺̟͗̈́͒͗̀̑́́̕͠ ̷̡͈̼̲͈̳̫̺̝̈́̋͌͗̒ͅD̸̨̬̞̪̗̘̄̑͆̿̈́͘͠͝O̸̡̡͇͕̻͎͍͉̅̌͗̄͌̑̉̔͂̎Ḡ̸͙̟̪̞̬̬͕͐̈̏S̶̝̪̼̮̠̜̭̳͖̘̑

urine: to help with aerodynamics

jon: maya, speak! maya: *the smallest arwoo*

today’s mvp: any dog. pick one. no matter which you pick, you’re right

how the fuck did blaine change back from satan so quickly

barb as a cat is... my new sleep paralysis demon

blaine: barbara speak! barbara: climate change is real

#dogsforkids

this just in: extra life killed my wifi

we’re back & kdin is in the business of killing people with spice. she is the spice queen

queue six thousand well-timed 1337 donations

HOLY SHIT THAT’S COLIN FROM WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY

hmm “questionable liquids” is very... questionable

trevor: oh there’s four of them! we all get to join in the Fuckkkk

“what’s your favorite kind of candy” “any meat”

i like pickles and i would rather rip my eyebrows off than drink the juice so i feel for trevor

the only thing worse than drinking apple cider vinegar is shooting it out of your nose

“can you feel the love tonight” “i used to and that’s the problem”

“flubs every word man” damn, really missed the chance to say captain hair

jeremy not being able to intentionally flub his words is so fucking funny

OK BOOMER 

wow i can feel my blood pressure spike just watching these shots

Xavier Woods is here and he wants to know if it’s Christmas

miles doesn’t know what a question is

WHERE’S YOUR HAIR

oh no. oh no helping hands is next. everyone clear a splash zone

CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

miles bossing around chef mike is priceless

“you leave that fucking dough on the floor”

“you wanna slam your hands down on the table” *pizza sauce goes flying everywhere*

HOEDOWN HOEDOWN HOEDOWN jesus why do i keep doing that

“If Colin Mochrie is listening, I’ll see you here next year” OH FUCK YEAH

--- this is when i take a break so my soul can return to my body (aka i have work to turn in. college will never not be a pain in my ass) ---

oh god dammit i missed all of Always Open. fuck college who needs a medical degree

so... we have some very interesting things happening in family feud and i’m not sure if i like any of them

hmm. is now the time to get drunk

oily twist feels very... ominous

what do you mean you don’t remember gandalf having a taser in lord of the rings?

someone in the chat said “big stupid sleeping thing is what my parents called me in high school”

i think i’m blacking out what’s going on i don’t remember the past two hours

ah yes. voldemort and snape having a talk show together sounds exactly like something J.K. Rowling would make a spinoff book or show or porno of

can we just talk about how much shit chris has been doing this year? what a guy. what a dude

“coldy with voldy” actually means getting knocked the fuck out cold because you only got three hours of sleep last night and you don’t want to miss chef mike and lindsay cooking

this snape poem is summarized by one phrase: “that was terrible sit the fuck down” (sorry chris)

“let’s destroy a weasley” enter chad

fucking called it

“you smell poor” i need a caffeine drip

heh the wheel spins are at 69 heh nice

i’m a grown ass woman

welcome to a section called: we torture chad for your entertainment

“who wants us to kill weasley?” *massive cheers from the audience*

“wait weasley step away from the wideshot so i can masturbate to this later”

“i’m not gonna rub my eye mom”

oh they’re really gonna kill chad on stream huh

i felt that chest slap in my soul

i think i felt my own ribs crack

oh fucking

tumblr deleted my thoughts on the fanfic section

alright. fine. brief summary: my teeth are burning

my mom lindsay is on next and i’m so excited but i’m nearing the point of loopiness so things will go downhill dramatically from here

this is my fucking fourth extra life, you would think i’d be smart enough to sleep the night before

LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY THAT’S MY MOM

JEREMY JEREMY JERE- wait a second... did jeremy get taller

oH CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

i hope Xavier comes back next year because he’s funny as fuck

m y a t t

oh god the mcdonald’s shade i’m rolling

lindsay “who’s the chef here” jones

chef mike mentioned mayo and i involuntarily gagged

chef mike clowning the big mac. i’m crying

he made the right choice with ryan bc i’ve seen his cooking stream(s) and it’s nothing if not great content

i heARD A MICHAEL JONES

“lindsay you haven’t done anything but warm up cookies so far” “yeah and?? you’re welcome”

you know that classic snack. slightly warm oreos

JEREMY THE LIQUOR GOBLIN DOOLEY IS BACK

oh god him screeching across set is making me cry laughing

why does it remind me of trevor’s voice cracks in the one minecraft ep where they’re singing the lion king

the biggest spoon for the smallest shot glass

i just realized we’re not even halfway through yet and i’m scared for the length of this list i’m gonna end up falling asleep involuntarily at some point

lindsay no your teeth are going to errode from that shot in your mouth

well timed leet donation #1829495

this gorden ramsey bit is so fucking good

jack: what do you think of the arugala? matt: i don’t even know what you said

iT’s NoT jUsT tWo CoOkIeS miCHeAL

jeremy and michael just chillin amidst the choas is exactly my demeanor at any party i’ve ever been to

lindsay scores: ryan = 7 because diet coke, matt = still eating lindsay’s meal so it’s a 10, xavier = also still eating it so it’s an 8. total: 25

“deep fry everything but a remote control”

chef mike scores: ryan = 9 for no death, matt = greens are present, words were said, score is 8. xavier = Gourmet Mcdonald’s, food is edible, score is 8. total: 25

oh fuck it’s a tie

now they fight to the death. death = doing as many shots as possible

i think we’re all going to need liver transplants after tonight

no jesus please don’t vomit oh goD oh fUc k please- oh thank god

okay i’m making a part two this is too much

[narnarmonster]

I think I am starting to get why I didn’t find Fiona fun when first intro’d to her, and how now with more time given that I still do not find her the best fit for content.

That being said, I do still love seeing her in content, and she is kind of a nice addition for some things. I don’t -not- like her as a person, I think she is great and very much deserving. Really I don’t want to see her removed, but I do want to see improvement. 

I don’t find her as a great addition to the content. Her own show, This Just Internet is kinda cool, I like the idea of them just sharing memes and laughing at topical shit. But when they have her in any other video, or even the podcasts, she just falls flat. Like, I don’t want to be one of the duds on the RT site who complain she is boring or not there or whatever, but when you really watch the videos a few times through she doesn’t add anything to the game or conversation. BUT she does strike me as a great addition to their friendship dynamics which is why she seems she is fitting in well. I know her growing bond between each face is awesome, and they really do adore having her around which does make for some content. You can tell by the stories told by anyone else she has her funny moments but all too often it is off camera stuff so it isn’t adding to what we watch. I like the stories on the podcasts but, I want to see her in action of doing fun shit around the office, or adding to some rando video aside from just refusing to do anything weird or fun because she just doesn’t want to. Realistically though on her own, she gives nothing to the group. I understand this is my own opinion and everyone can view it as wrong as they want to or chose to, I just wish she had a little more character to add to the content she is in. 

Some examples are on podcasts she only ever brings up stories and then lets people tell it for her. For example the most recent OT (222), you can tell she starts a story or something she wants to say and every few moments she has to back track or ask someone else to fill in the spots and then just laughs and can\t tell the rest of the story. Any pan to her or shots with her she is dead pan, or reading her phone. On some streams you can catch her repeating a lot of what others say just for the laugh, or coming off as a bully but with nothing to say to people when she is trying to front on a lying game. I haven’t really seen any kind of characterization from her either. We have the old men for example, the teams, Lindsay the chaos queen and even Fredo has like Fredochan or he tries to get into a character but when it comes to Fiona, she is just Fiona. Not only that, but when tempted to do something zany or off the wall by another cast mate, more often then not she says no which kind of downplays any gain from the video in the first place. (Think of first rule of improv, always say yes. Again don’t get me wrong if she is mad uncomfortable with it, yeah don’t do it obvs but also remember who you work for and with, you gotta play along sometime) It is the same reason why I am not the biggest fan of Matt Bragg. Matt on his own is very boring, his jokes are a little stale, and really has nothing to go off of when playing games aside from if he screws up or something peculiar happens. But in a group, he can perk up a bit more with the playful banter against him, he can defend and rally a few good jokes onto someone else but honestly he falls flat for me in most content. I do love what they both offer when it is appropriate in the content, but on the whole I just can’t get around to liking them. 

[niukoiku]

Please Ignore.

I used to pretend I was happy. Sometimes I was, other times it was a forced fake persona that I learnt from many content creators. They didn’t teach me that and that was never their goal.

I’m now 27, stuck at home because after all my carefulness to not bring COVID into my household, My folks brought it in. I know partially im just feeling sorry for myself. I’m not majorly ill and neither is my mum. I can’t help but worry though. 

My brain keeps filing back to the times i had, where I was happy. And the reasons why i fucked that up. I remember telling myself multiple times, and sometimes i told them this. “This isn’t the real me”. And it was always true. I hadn’t grown enough and most of the time they hadn’t either. “No more self-improvement ‘cause you’re not allowed to grow.” I feel like I haven’t been allowing myself to grow. Something won’t let me? Maybe that just me. 

I know I have to let somethings go. Which is difficult even though i pushed people away before. you think it’d be easy. 

I keep going through my happiness, my friendships, my intimate relationships, and it lets me know where and when i fucked up. But i can’t stop? I can’t learn from it maybe? I’m too hung up and jealous of the life they live without me there. 

I think now, and i know there are people that care about me, a few infact. but i’ve lived the last 10 years of my life in a similar place. I mean mentally. 

My sister leaves for uni soon. and i keep thinking what the hell am i gunna do without her? I stayed to protect her? Make sure she could do what she wanted? 

What? because i couldn’t? Because I wouldn’t? Because i’m so pissed off with myself that i have to make her happy? Make sure she can be the clever one? Make sure she can live her dreams because I never could? 

I don’t like talking about my feelings with anyone. especially her. If i cry or sound sad it makes her sad. and wow oh look at you being a big brother. look at you caring for one person other than yourself in your entire life. 

I realise how this sounds, and guess what, this wasn’t for you? “oh there you go again being selfish”.  And yeah i get that. 

I live in escapism for most of my time. D&D has been a god send for that. I’m allowed to live in another world where i can be what i want to be. And make other people happy and have fun in the process? Score. I keep thinking about those people that i messed with. that i didn’t realise i was messing with at that time. All those people that cared, reduced to nothing because of who i was. maybe because of who i still am~? And sorry this is going no where. 

Sheree, Carly, Emily, Laura, Ellie, Matt, Lindsay, Nick. and s many more.  You’ve all changed and grown so much without me. and i am jealous. whilst i’ve been stuck in the thought of what could have been. and I don’t even mean romantically or whatever. I used to be such good friends with you. And that’s whats sad. 

I know we all get busy as we grow. But someone tells me consitently that you make time for friends.And it’d be lovely for a catch up. Lol. But what could i tell you? That all i’ve done is nothing but be someone else? Someone I never could be infront of you or others. Sigh. 

Sorry, i’m done with this rant, i have a lot to say but. Please ignore me. 

[3sportsguns]

Fantasy Football Headset 2020; What I'd Trade (Nati and Sidearm)

[12 team league, 25 man rosters, 5 taxi spots, start 1QB, 2RB, 3WR, 1TE, 2Flex, 1DST, 1K]

These two teams made the decision to trade a big piece ahead of the season, conceding they weren't championship contenders, but have found themselves in playoff contention. Both teams were in post season last year, but even with trading star players now find themselves deciding which way to go for the rest of 2020.

Sidearm has finished 2nd and 4th in the previous two years and a big part of that was the stack between Patrick Mahommes and Travis Kelce. However, his running back position took a big hit and he decided to load up on assets and come back in 2021 by trading Kelece. Two 1st round picks and Blake Jarwin is a solid haul. The reason the trade hasn't hurt him as much is because of the emergence of Mike Gesicki and the long awaited revival of Mo Alie-Cox.

Sidearm has done a solid job building his team through the draft with Mahommes, Devin Singletary, Antonio Gibson, Terry McLaurin, Gesicki, Christin Kirk, Phillip Lindsay, Josh Reynolds, Hunter Renfrow and Henry Ruggs. This his how the team went from picking in the top five to a top playoff team in just a few seasons. However, the running back position was why he leaned in to a retooling in 2020.

Marlon Mack and Lindsay were a big part of his run to runner up two seasons ago, but both got company in the backfield this past offseason. That's the case for Singletary though Zack Moss' injury has allowed him to flourish early. Gibson was a good pick and those two have provided enough production to get him to 3-2 with a manageable game this week. I still have my questions about those two being lead backs for a championship team.

The trade of Kelce gives Sidearm two 1st in 2020 and 2021. He also traded Josh Allen for Drew Lock and a 2nd and 3rd which gives him two 2nd round picks in 2020, a 2nd and two 3rd round picks for 2021. He is absolutely loaded in draft capital with T.Y. Hilton and Emmanuel Sanders on his bench that could be moved for a few more mid round picks.

The question is how do you go the rest of the way for this season? Sidearm could move Hilton and Sanders to add even more draft pick capital or could deal from his stash of picks to push his team in to contention. Saquon Barkley, Leonard Founette, Kenyan Drake, James Connor and Raheem Mostert have already been traded, leaving the RB market a bit thin but the assets are there to entice a team to part with a top RB.

A lot of the core is in place and good ages so you could go either way. It is supposed to be a loaded rookie draft which makes it all the more tempting to get to the draft and see what you can add to a solid team, but will you find a superstar? If someone like Christian McCaffrey is available then you have to be tempted to make a deal, especially with his draft pick and WR depth, but do you want to be that aggressive?

I think you go for it. Finding a superstar is easier said than done and with four draft picks in the top two rounds for this draft and three for the next one there's plenty of capital to make a move and not leave the cupboard bare. Plus, you can't count future championships without winning one first. The team has produced so go for it and still have an incredibly young team. However, if the price is too steep then you have to move Hilton and Sanders. Load up on picks and put together one of the youngest teams in the league that can really grow in to a title contender.

Nati's reason for trading was a little different. Despite being a playoff team he was realistic about his team. The TE duo of Darren Waller and Austin Hooper was a big factor in his success, but his best WR was Jamison Crowder. Nati got an offer for Barkley he flet like he couldn't turn down and decided to retool his team knowing he couldn't get it with his WR. The trades was a 2020 1st and 2021 1st round pick, Preston Williams and Calvin Ridley.

Now, I'm still not sure it was the right trade to make but it does look like a short term win with Barkley hurt for the season and Ridley becoming a superstar. However, there are some other trades to go over. A trade last year for A.J. Green cost him his 2nd and 3rd round pick this past draft and he felt the need to get a QB so he went with Joe Burrow instead of a WR. Nati has also traded the 1st he got for a 2nd next year, John Brown and a few other depth WR.

Nati started off solid because David Montgomery was producing and Ridley was a  big boost to the weak WR position but has fallen off and could be 2-4 after this week. With Hooper falling off and Barkley gone this roster is showing what it really is. Montgomery and Dalvin Cook are the top running backs but after that isn't really much. Besides Waller and Hooper there isn't much at TE either.

The WR position has been remade with Ridley, Crowder, Brown, Williams and Green, but it still needs help. Chris Hogan, Randall Cobb and Kenny Stills are really the only vet WR worth mentioning. Nati's team has shown it still is very much a work in progress, though early on it was in line with Sidearm to consider using the draft capital to push towards more contention.

With the trades Nati only has his 1st round pick and 2nd rounders in 2020, but two 1st and 2nd round picks for 2021 so this is a retooling team with not much draft capital this season to add, so he needs to lean in to the retooling. Crowder, Green (if he can produce), Matt Ryan, possibly Brown and any other vets should be on the market to try and get some more draft capital for a loaded rookie class.

Nati could also hit the nuclear rebuild after trading Barkley already and go after a haul for Cook. While there's no argument for trying to build around him, Cook could bring back a haul of players to build around along with picks and would be a full rebuild to reset the clock. This is where the questions are raised over trading Barkley. It upgraded the WR position but also revealed more of the weaknesses of this team, and with the lacking of capital this year would make it tough to replace Barkley for 2021. Though Nati absolutely has to get at least a RB in a Cook trade because that's where the Barkley trade really hurt him.

Sidearm is really in the position to go all in or wait and see with his roster and draft capital where Nati needs to rebuild at least partially, but both have vets they definitely need to move in the least. Theoretically, both could look up for a Dalvin Cook trade and it would work out for both.

[techcrunchappcom]

New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/nfl-power-rankings-seahawks-bills-steelers-get-closer-to-top-eagles-vikings-in-a-free-fall-for-week-3/

NFL power rankings: Seahawks, Bills, Steelers get closer to top; Eagles, Vikings in a free fall for Week 3

Week 2 in the NFL meant every team that played at home in Week 1 had to go on the road, and vice versa. After only two games, or through one-eighth of the 2020 season, there’s a already a better indication of what teams are headed somewhere vs. nowhere.

A few teams on either the best or the worst side of performed exactly how one expects. But this is in the NFL, where surprises and disappointments are par for the course, even in the sprint stage before the marathon.

After some more predictable results, here’s how all 32 teams stack up against each other going into Week 3 in Sporting News’ latest look at the league hierarchy:

MORE: Who are the NFL contenders or pretenders after Week 2?

(Getty Images) https://images.daznservices.com/di/library/sporting_news/5/2/patrick-mahomes-091020-getty-ftr_35kp2b8770ib1afcc0k8u80bz.jpg?t=2067643524&w=500&quality=80

NFL power rankings

1. Kansas City Chiefs 2-0 (last week’s ranking: 1)

The run defense continues to have problems and their passing offense isn’t always automatic. But they still have Patrick Mahomes to save the day, and all he needs is a chance late. That escape from Los Angeles keeps the dream of 16-0 alive, but the No. 2 team here is next on the schedule.

2. Baltimore Ravens 2-0 (2)

The Ravens have flown to similar heights with Lamar Jackson doing his efficient passing and running MVP thing again. They’ve enjoyed a couple of walkovers against the Browns and the Texans, but they finally get their rematch with the Chiefs to prove just whether they can be the AFC’s best again.

3. Seattle Seahawks 2-0 (4)

They have Russell Wilson and a strong running game and that has helped them get through some major run and pass defense issues early. But Wilson did outduel two former MVPs, Matt Ryan and Cam Newton. The elite QB fun continues against Dak Prescott and the Cowboys.

MORE: Russell Wilson locked in, trying to prove he’s NFL’s best QB

4. Buffalo Bills 2-0 (5)

Josh Allen is trying to get himself in the same fun-and-gun company as Mahomes and Jackson. The Bills haven’t made it look all that easy at times against the Jets and the Dolphins, but the solid results are there. The Rams will be a good tougher test.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers 2-0 (7)

Ben Roethlsiberger is back for sure and the running game keeps on pounding out the hits. Their defense may be trying to catch up, perhaps knowing there is less of a burden on them to sack, intercept and strip to save the day. They should keep rolling on the Texans.

6. Green Bay Packers 2-0 (6)

The Packers have done whatever they want with Aaron Rodgers and Aaron Jones, throwing back to their most explosive offensive days. The Lions and Vikings were pushovers, however, and they draw the stronger Saints on the road in prime time.

7. Los Angeles Rams 2-0 (10)

The Rams can run the ball with anyone again and keep taking pressure of Jared Goff with a friendlier passing game. They also have seen their defensive scheming shakeup work really well to complement their superstars, Aaron Donald and Jalen Ramsey.

8. Arizona Cardinals 2-0 (9)

The Cardinals have seen Kyler Murray give opponents the run-around with a big assist from DeAndre Hopkins. They also have to be pleased how their defense is rising behind Chandler Jones and in front of Budda Baker. Kliff Kingsbury is an early coach of the year candidate.

MORE: Kyler Murray for MVP? Don’t sleep on it

9. New Orleans Saints 1-1 (3)

The Saints didn’t make it perfect to stay ahead of the Buccaneers with a loss at the Raiders. They got caught looking ahead the Packers, as they need to navigate better not having Michael Thomas.

10. New England Patriots 1-1 (8)

File Kingsbury under Bill Belichick, who waited a long time to find Cam Newton to replace Tom Brady. They got Newton for almost nothing and now he’s playing like a healthy all-around MVP again. Unreal.

(Getty Images) https://images.daznservices.com/di/library/sporting_news/47/dd/jimmy-garoppolo-092019-getty-ftr_1lrd2hnqqb9lc1vj8ge4yc2g8k.jpg?t=-1380224228&w=500&quality=80

11. San Francisco 49ers 1-1 (11)

The 49ers keep getting decimated by injuries, indicating that they are not immune to post-Super Bowl attrition. They have to survive with what they have offensively and defensively without Jimmy Garoppolo and Nick Bosa. One wonders how long they can hang on. They do return to New York to face the weak Giants, however, as another break in Week 3.

12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1-1 (12)

The Bucs righted the pirate ship at home, finding their strong running game with Ronald Jones and Leonard Fournette to support Brady in his downfield-throwing efforts. The schedule continues to open a bit where they will stay on the Saints’ heels.

13. Dallas Cowboys 1-1 (15)

The Cowboys need to pay Prescott long-term, stat, after that latest miracle he pulled against the Falcons. He does whatever’s needed passing and running to cover all their other issues include a lack of discipline and consistent defense. 

MORE: Why Cowboys are “America’s Most Exciting Team”

14. Tennessee Titans 2-0 (19)

The Titans did make it to the AFC championship with a similar offensive formula, Ryan Tannehill making efficient big plays working off the power running threat of Derrick Henry. But their defense hasn’t looked all that good against two limited offenses. Luckily, their schedule gives them the struggling Vikings next.

15. Las Vegas Raiders 2-0 (18)

The Raiders took advantage of their Panthers matchup and got more confident with a big upset win in Las Vegas over the Saints. They follow by facing the Patriots on a short week, another good litmus test.

15. Chicago Bears 2-0 (20)

The Bears have danced past the Lions and Washington Football Team in a very nice opening schedule, rediscovering their running game and defense foundation. They will need Mitchell Trubisky to pass a lot better with the Falcons up next.

16. Los Angeles Chargers 1-1 (13)

Justin Herbert may not have the starting gig for good, Anthony Lynn says? What the? Going back to Tyrod Taylor, even if healthy, would not make any sense. Plus, it’s the Panthers in Week 3, a great game for Herbert to keep building confidence. The rookie leaning so well on running game, defense and good receivers had to be inspiring, right?

MORE: Breaking down Justin Herbert’s NFL debut vs. Chiefs

18. Washington Football Team 1-1 (16)

Washington had a wake-up call against the Cardinals as it couldn’t stop Murray and Dwayne Haskins can’t do too much with limited help around him. Ron Rivera’s team overachieved against the Eagles, but it might take a while for another win with the Browns next on the road.

19. Cleveland Browns 1-1 (24)

The Browns found their run-heavy successful formula in Week 2, taking the major pressure off Baker Mayfield. They get another break to get above .500 with Washington back in Cleveland.

20. Indianapolis Colts 1-1 (26)

The Colts are a hard team to read. Their offense and defense tend to be roller-coaster rides where everything starts with running the ball well and stopping the run. But what they get out of Philip Rivers in the passing game, plus their pass rush and pass coverage, are real wild cards that might keep them out of contention.

(Getty Images) https://images.daznservices.com/di/library/sporting_news/d3/be/gardner-minshew-ftr_1oenzzma2wyp51qcoj1ywpu60q.png?t=-1475496100&w=500&quality=80

21. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-1 (21)

The Jaguars can’t think about drafting Gardner Minshew’s replacement now, can they? He’s lifted them to a surprise victory and they aren’t that far from being 2-0 because of him. Amazing what giving him top skill support does.

22. Houston Texans 0-2 (22)

Deshaun Watson is short on skill support as he misses Hopkins at wide receiver. The defense is worse, putting more on him to win games with his arm and legs. Without Watson, this may be the worst team in the league.

23. Philadelphia Eagles 0-2 (17)

The Eagles are getting shoddy play from Carson Wentz when he was such a big factor in lifting them last season. The offensive line and wide receiver issues have been bigger than expected. But that defense is also getting pounded more than expected, too.

24. Minnesota Vikings 0-2 (14)

Kirk Cousins has had a rough start because they are more dependent on him. The defense is the most disastrous it has ever been under Mike Zimmer. Miinnesota needs to take down Tennessee at home in Week 3 to save the season.

25. Atlanta Falcons 0-2 (25)

The Falcons keep having issues everywhere defensively that bring down all their great offensive firepower around Ryan, now led by red-hot Calvin Ridley. Dan Quinn needs his team to beat the Bears to save his job for now.

26. Denver Broncos 0-2 (23)

Von Miller isn’t playing.  Drew Lock isn’t playing. Phillip Lindsay isn’t playing. Courltand Sutton may need to miss more time. This has been a Mile High nightmare of injuries, worse than John Elway could have expected. Tampa Bay up next doesn’t help.

27. Cincinnati Bengals 0-2 (28)

The Bengals go up a notch because of only Joe Burrow this week. Everything else about their team not involving him remains a mess.

28. New York Giants 0-2 (27)

The Giants had a lot of promise for Daniel Jones, and despite two valiant efforts, they are winless. The defense is improved, but now the offense has been greatly worsened by Saquon Barkley going down.

(Getty Images) https://images.daznservices.com/di/library/sporting_news/d/a/christian-mccaffrey-092020-getty-ftr_1tk1lqppfdpoy12ei82xc94pjq.jpg?t=-1379501100&w=500&quality=80

29. Carolina Panthers 0-2 (29)

The Panthers’ defense is pretty bad and their shining light on offense, Christian McCaffrey will likely be out a while. Oh boy.

30. Miami Dolphins 0-2 (31)

When will it be Tua Tagovailoa time? Not Thursday night against the Jaguars but soon.

31. Detroit Lions 0-2 (30)

The Lions are really crumbling around Matthew Stafford as no Kenny Golladay has hurt and their defense is about to doom Matt Patricia.

32. New York Jets 0-2 (32)

Adam Gase is asking for his team to dismiss him with his bad personnel moves and offense that looks more like debacle than genius.

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[chezzkaa]

Cinders - Chapter 33/36

A/N: Get excited. 34 and 35 are gonna fuck you up.

All Chapters

SUMMARY: Lets Heist

WC: 2109

Warm sunlight seeps into your skin, rousing your from a deep sleep. Though your eyes remain closed each of your breaths draws in the morning and expels the aches of the past few days into the sheets. You let yourself enjoy the normality of the moment, Ryan’s soft breathing shifting through your hair and tangling in his own as it brushes across your cheek. Lying on your front with an arm tucked under your chest you legs splay out, Ryan’s strong arm wound around your waist; comforting and familiar.

It comes as a surprise that your mind is clear for the first time in weeks, despite your throat being thick and raw from the tears the night before. Your ravaged heart is lighter, shoulders moving with ease as her face swims past. No longer does the sight burn, instead leaving a mild sting without the Cheshire rearing her head – nowhere to be found. A pleasant sigh ruffles against your skin, arm tightening for a moment as a light groan escapes the slumbering man’s lips. Eyes squeezing shut to block the delicate sun dusting his eyelids. You shuffle closer, fingers running across his cheek and eyes mesmerised by the calm radiating from him, “morning dear.” His voice is husky and clogged with sleep, still it courses through your veins like wildfire, tugging against the corners of your lips as he places a kiss against your forehead; “hey there, sweetie.” “Sup?”

The second voice has you shooting up from the bed to see Ray occupying your couch and digging into a large bowl of your cereal. Legs crossed and face content despite the bruises circling his eyes. You narrow your eyes before rubbing them, hands falling into your lap with a gentle thud; “the fuck are you doing here?” Ray offers you a shrug and a wide smile around another mouthful, “eatin.” “Wait, but how?” “...with a spoon.” “Y/N please, it’s too early for murder” mumbles Ryan into the pillows, stretching out his limbs and wiggling his toes. You reach back to him, fingers finding his and moulding together. “Well,” you return your attention to Ray, “did you at least save us some cereal?” The man chews slowly, guilt stretching across his face as you narrow your eyes. Quickly he shovels the rest of the cereal into his mouth, forcing an incoherent apology through, “you’re a lil bitch, Ray.”

Ryan moves to sit up in bed, smiling at the man as he shuffles his back against the headboard. Instinctively you curl into his side, unable to deny the happiness swelling in your chest. Even though Ray always seemed to eat you out of house and home, you couldn’t help but enjoy the company of your two favourite people. 

It doesn’t take long for the past few days to begin nagging at your peace, Jon surfacing within your mind and bobbing uncomfortably for your attention. Your heart lets of a painful pang, concern for your brother quickly working its way into your content moment and tainting it like a poisonous undercurrent.

“Stop looking so fucking depressed,” Ray teases, jabbing his spoon in your direction while Ryan presses a light kiss to your shoulder, humming; “Trevor and Matt are working on decoding the final few lines of data, then we should have a complete location to work with.” Not trusting your voice you simply nod, Ryan’s fingers tracing soothing circles against your hip. “Thanks,” he smiles to Ray, of who returns the sentiment with a thumbs up and a raise of his now empty bowl; standing to put it away. “No problem,” he replies while closing the dishwasher and pulling the milk from the fridge, finishing off the tea he had started for the three of you whilst you were sleeping, “we should know what’s up in a couple of hours.” He balances the mugs between his two hands, shuffling towards the coffee table and managing to place them down without spillage. “Until then,” he snatches the remove off the couch, plonking into the cushions with a wide grin, “wanna play a game?”

“God DAMN IT Ray!” cries Ryan mournfully, watching the bullet shoot through his character from beside you; ray and Jeremy sandwiching you in an overflow of blankets from the other side. “One fucking time, just let us win one fucking time!” “Can stop a Hispanic with a cause!” he cheers, kicking his legs about and getting them caught in the blankets, struggling to break free. Seeing his moment to strike Jeremy abandons his controller, pointing to Ray as he quickly begins trapping himself, “GET HIM!”

Ryan launches across you, scrambling from the blankets to get to Ray past Jeremy, wrestling for the controller. With a jolt they slip from the couch and to the floor, hollering and kicking indiscriminately. “No, NO! It was all a rouse!” “Fuck yeah!” Your victorious exclamation rings out as you kill the final or your friends, pulling your legs up to avoid the scuffling men at your feet. Amidst the giggles and yelling a knock at the door has you standing, leaping over the flailing limbs to greet the visitor. Standing outside is Trevor, his hair swept back and so blond it almost shone white, mouth opening and ready to act professional. At the sound of the fighting inside the apartment he stops, eyebrows furrowing as he peers past to watch the pile; face bewildered.

“What’s up, lovely?” you ask, leaning against the frame as he continues to watch the sight before him; absolutely enthralled. Shaking his head he stammers for a minutes, a flurry of ‘I, errs’ tumbling from his lips. You wait patiently, eyes trained on your family – Jeremy trying to crawl over Ryan to reach the couch but the man wrestling him back down. “I erm, well, we’re in.”

The heist room is yet again cluttered with bodies huddling into the space, tension rippling through the air like wind over water. Your eyes are watching Gavin across the table while he works into a tiny mirror, hand flicking the golden eyeliner across his lid in a smooth motion. Absentmindedly your fingers touch your cheek, pulling away to watch the shimmer of colour glow across the tips – the Golden Boy having passed you his compact to splash gold across your eyes; the Cheshire materialising in front of the crew and picking at their nerves. Beside you Ryan clutches his skull mask, staring at Geoff creating ruts in the floor from his pacing. Ray is on your other side, completely at ease while he plays with his hot pink sniper rifle. A white masquerade mask perched against his forehead.

You manage to draw your gaze away from Gavin and the rest of the crew, coming to settle on Geoff while he fidgets, Jack having stopped his movements while whispering frantically to him. With a shaking breath he calms down and expels his worries, Jack quickly pecking the side of his temple with a kiss before disappearing into the crowd of bodies. He clears his throat a moment later, the noise harsh in the silence draped over the room. Still he has everyone’s attention instantly, all eyes trained on his and listening like their lives depended on it.

“The shipyard,” he starts, turning to pin the photograph up on the notice board, containers littering the space, “Matt tells me that there’s no way he could be hiding somewhere else, too much traffic to this area.” Matt nods from your right, continuing “the coding showed that the visits are incredibly frequent and for long periods of time.” “We investigated a little further,” pipes in Trevor, leaning an elbow on the table, “and found that the whole yard is being rented by a Mr. Gareth Benson.” “Had a drone fly over, the place is crawling with his men, small number of cops out of uniform. It’s armed to the fucking teeth,” concludes Matt, impatiently pushing his hair out of the way.

Geoff taps his notepad with the end of his pen once, “good work guys. So,” he turns back to the board to place an accompanying aerial shot next to the entrance, “here’s how it’s going to work. We hit it tonight, in teams. In and out, kill everyone we can.” Everyone is nodding, sharing glances at potential team mates along with murmurs of agreement. Your eyes are still trained on Geoff, tracing the frizz of his moustache and the creases on his forehead. He waits until the room quietens again, sweeping a hand towards Trevor, Lindsay, Meg and Matt. “We’ve got our eyes sorted, each of you are going to be watching one group and passing along intel when needed. Matt, you can hack into the security cameras, right?” a small nod from the man, a confirmation. “Good. Get drones out there too, as well as body cameras. We’ll need everything we can get.”

Moving on Geoff then jabs the pen towards Gavin and Michael, the two men a stark contrast against each other – gunpowder and gold. “You two are taking the outer perimeter. We need as many explosives as possible, cause a distraction and pool everyone inside. No one gets out alive. Think you can handle it?” Grins meet his raised eyebrow, Michael’s face splitting into a wild beam while Gavin nods eagerly. “Put on a show,” he squeaks, kicking his feet up on the table, “I think we can do that.” Michael swipes at them, knocking them off and back to the floor with a glare, “not on the fucking table, jack ass. Jeez.”

“Ray,” Geoff addresses the man beside you, his attention drawn away from his sniper for a moment, “you’re our sniper.” “Fucking surprise, surprise.” Geoff ignores him, motioning to the aerial view and marking out 4 small points, “these are the best places for you. Feel free to move between them as needed, you’re the only one I trust to shoot a bullet over my head.” “You really shouldn’t.” “You don’t make things easy, do you?” “Nah.” Despite his jokes Ray takes the job seriously, clambering through the crowd to the map and jotting down the points he could use, indicating a few more that might also be beneficial. Trusting him, Geoff gives him the go ahead to add a few more before he returns to your side.

Finally the leader turns to you, regarding your group and Jeremy sitting on the floor, bouncing his leg. “What’s your fucking name again?” “Cheshire,” says Ray, sounding genuinely surprised Geoff had forgotten. However the small hum shakes Geoff’s moustache, and you shrug. “I don’t think the three of us have a team name.” “Sure we do!” pipes in Jeremy from the floor, looking up at you with a smile, “I’ve thought of everything.” “Well?” Geoff’s foot taps impatiently, his anger hanging in the air, “what is it then?” “Get this,” Jeremy holds out his hands, presenting his idea “Crazy Short Temper.” You stare at him while Ryan chuckles, ruffling the man’s purple hair, “how are you so good at this?” “It’s a gift.”

Forging forward Geoff begins to rule off his orders, stealing your full attention. “Crazy Short Temper, you guys are going to be our main point of attack. You’ll be in the thick of it, fighting towards the centre,” the pen scribbles across a red container in the middle of the yard, stacked at least 6 high, “and towards the shithead.”  You give a sharp nod, feeling your body straighten and grow cold, “Jack and I will be giving you air support. Each of us in a jet and doing what we can to cause as much destruction as humanly possible.”

Leaning across the table Geoff’s face grows serious, eyes flashing menacingly as he addresses the rest of his family, “This is gonna be a shit storm.” Everyone hangs on his words, shuffling in place under the intense gaze he was offering, “I don’t want anyone to die here. I get that we can generally go running around without a care in the world, but remember; we don’t know if there are any negative repercussions to immortal deaths. We do know that if you lose a part of your body and it’s destroyed, you’re fucked. So, no stupid deaths and for god sakes stick together.” He stands again, this time looking at you sitting ramrod straight in your seat, Cheshire seeping into your veins. “First person to have eyes on the fucker needs to blow his brains out. We’ll deal with the organ thing later. And if you find Jon,” his eyes go to the rest of the room.

“I don’t care what you’re doing; just get him the fuck out.”

[willreadforbooze]

Hello fellow boozie readers!

If you haven’t heard about #Booziebookathon, it’s our week long readathon we host every year! It starts on July 27th and runs to Aug 3rd. Check out all the details here!

Sam’s Update:

What a whirlwind of a week. It felt like I didn’t get much reading done, but apparently I did. It’s also Medieval-a-thon!!! Check my TBR here.

What Sam finished this week:

Medieval-a-thon Cape: Kingdom of the Blazing Phoenix by Julie C. Dao: This is the follow up to Forest of a Thousand Lanterns. I thought I’d like this more than the first one but i just didn’t. This felt very collect-the-objects to me, and I just could NOT get into it.

Medieval-a-thon Crown: The Dragon Republic by R.F. Kuang: This was so good. So so good. So many content warnings, but so good. I don’t want to say too much here cause Drunk Sam wants a shot at it first.

What Sam’s reading now:

  Medieval-a-thon Breastplate: The Collapsing Empire by John Scalzi: Listening on audio, and I’d forgotten that Will Wheaton narrates it. I am not very far, but I already love it.

Medieval-a-thon Daggers: Eclipse the Skies by Maura Milan: I’ve been dying for this since Ignite the Stars and I am v v excited. We were selected to be a part of the blog tour for this by Caffeine Tours so I gotta gets my reading innnn.

Ginny’s Update:

For once this is a pretty short list of things (Sam you’re welcome? There aren’t too many things to find). I might have fallen back into playing an ungodly amount of Skyrim so the reading has been cut a little bit short. That being said, I still managed to knock out a few things. And of course bought some new books because I have a problem and that problem is the book tree in my room is looking lopsided from my pulling random books out of it to read and I need to rebuild it. If you’re going to rebuild something you might as well make it bigger!

Currently Reading:

The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi: I’m like two pages in so I don’t really know whats going on yet but Sam loves this.

Beyond the Empire by K.B. Wagers: My review for the first book just came out (see it here!). This is the third book in the series and very short synopsis, Hail has to continue being her badass self. 

Finished

Midas Flesh by Ryan North: This was billed as a comedy and while parts of it are funny this book was dark as fuck! I was not expecting it. Still the book is interesting, the fallout of King Midas turning everything to gold was really interesting to think about far far into the future. The artwork was great. I thought some of the characterization felt rushed and for whatever reason I wasn’t super drawn into the story.3/5

A Gentleman Never Keeps Score by Cat Sebastian:This book was cute, all about people trying to figure out how they can live their lives in a society where they don’t really fit without giving up themselves. I really enjoyed the end and I liked the dynamics between so many of the characters. Hartley’s friends/house people were delightful, and I loved Sam’s brother and bestie. 4/5 

Minda’s Update:

You may have heard the news—I’m pregnant! So all the booze is staying on the shelf for the foreseeable future 

 and you’ll only get Reviews for Two 

️

What Minda finished: 

Gravemaidens by Kelly Coon – Once I got started I could not put this book down! It was so so good. My girl Kammani made some mistakes, but she really came to a reckoning before it was too late. Stay tuned for the official review and thanks again to Net Galley for the ARC! 

What Minda is reading now:

Tiger Queen by Annie Sullivan – Wasn’t enjoying as much as I thought I would, so was jumped by Gravemaidens. Still liking it though!

All the Water in the World by Karen Raney – An ARC I picked up at ALA dropping 8/6 about mother-daughter duo overcoming some major challenges.

Linz’s Update:

Oh just all the things happened this week, and I drank more than I meant to but at least some reviews got done? Just one more week til vacay…

What Linz read

The Doll Factory by Elizabeth Macneal: Debut historical thriller and also a love story. I got an advanced copy at ALA and I LOVE this book. I’ve already lent it to a girlfriend. Review def to come.

The Heartwood Crown by Matt Mikalatos: Got an ARC from BookCon for this sequel to The Crescent Stone. For me, this was definitely a different book from Crescent Stone, but I really enjoyed it and I love the direction the series is taking.

Bunny by Mona Awad: Kinda like Mean Girls, but Lindsay Lohan is a grad student in an exclusive writing program, and the Plastics are far more into developing their Work and the Process than wearing pink on Wednesday. Oh also it’s real dark and weird. Review to come as well.

What Linz is reading now

I finished Bunny yesterday and I’ve spend this morning repeatedly staring at my bookshelf trying to figure out what to read now and what to hold on until Booziebookathon. I need a librarian. And a nap.

Until next time, we remain forever drunkenly yours,

Sam, Melinda, Linz, and Ginny

Weekly Wrap-Up: July 9-14, 2019 #willreadforbooze Hello fellow boozie readers! If you haven't heard about #Booziebookathon, it's our week long readathon we host every year!

[tiikeria]

we need to discuss a fahc!space pirate au. because reasons. and because i’ve played 320+ hours of rimworld since i got it in january someone help me. this is mostly based in rimworld lore, but, you know, it can be anything. details under the read more because i don’t want to kill dashes.

so, geoff grows up on this shitty planet wrought with violence and crime, people densely packed into towering housing and working structures, leaving no room to breathe, to grow. and he falls into the same patterns as his peers: stealing, fighting, intimidating. but there was something different in the way he did it to the ways others did: he preferred to be the ringleader, the mastermind. and he was good at it. and that’s how he got the attention of another one like him: burnie burns, an aspiring kingpin gathering the best he could find. and geoff accepted joining in with burns’ rag-tag group. they called themselves the cockbites and, for a while, geoff was content.

but he had heard of worlds outside their own, full of riches and opportunity. and so, geoff, with the cockbite’s blessing of “don’t die, you dumb fuck. come back rich.” geoff hired himself his own lackluster crew: jaqueline pattillo, a shipwright known for her rather...less than legal...ship upgrades, and the ability to kick the ass of any person who called her anything but jack; trevor “treyco” collins, an aerospace engineer who geoff tasked with keeping their shitty little ship in working order; lindsay tuggey (who would later become jones, but that’s further into the story), a tactician who, after graduating from the star academy, chose to use her skills in a more unsavory way than her classmates, but she was damn good at it; matt bragg, an ace pilot who said fuck it to a life in the military like his family expected, and chose to pilot any ship who would pay him to do so; and mica burton, a government spy gone rogue and who would much rather work for criminals than work for the bureaucrats she dealt with.

it was this little team that would manage to make it to a world over, the world of riches and opportunity geoff had eyed before. a peaceful place, but not without its own black underbelly, no matter what the leaders thought. and it was in this underbelly that geoff would run into the most perplexing duo he would ever meet: gavin free and ryan “vagabond” haywood. gavin was an information man, if you needed info, he knew exactly how to get it, but his services didn’t come cheap, as evidenced by the rather extravagant clothing and jewelry he wore. by contrast, vagabond was quiet and menacing, a mercenary with a reputation of bloodshed though their star system. how free had managed to get vagabond to play bodyguard was only anyone’s guess, and many, many rumors flew from one planet to another, though only they knew the truth. geoff was an ambitious man, and stubborn to boot, and jack could only watch as geoff attempted to recruit some of the most dangerous people they had ever met to join their cause.

they, of course, told him to fuck off. but geoff was not easily swayed. stubborn, remember? and so, he made a deal with them: he would come back in a solar year, with a team of the best, to steal an extremely powerful weapon from the world’s government reserves. if they could do that, free told him with the vagabond staring impassively behind him, then they would join with no hesitation.

now finding the best was the task.

and they hopped from world to world, stealing and killing and intimidating, gaining a reputation that had geoff beaming in pride. somewhere along the way they gained a medic in a rather sarcastic, injury-prone caleb denecour, thus rounding out their little b-team, as they referred to themselves as.

it wasn’t until they landed on an even shittier world than the one geoff grew up on that they had their first opportunity for acquiring “the best”. they heard whispers of a name, a hot-tempered explosives guy who had a rep for being a bit of a brawler going by mogar. michael jones was his actual name and it didn’t take long for geoff and jack to track him down in a back alley fighting ring. geoff made the offer as jones snarled with a blackened eye and sluggishly bleeding nose, but he didn’t react as negatively as jack expected.

and she didn’t expect him to take geoff up on his offer to meet them at the docks before nightfall if he wanted to join in. jones only had one condition upon his boarding, “if this goes to shit, i want off at the next planet that isn’t a fucking shithole.”

jones never left.

next came a rather surprising recruit. an ex-bounty hunter turned underground fighter by the name of jeremy dooley, though often referred to by his fighting name “rimmy tim”. he came to them, knowing their reputation, and wanting nothing more than to escape the cycle of fighting and surviving. and his skills in shooting and tracking and stealth were undeniable. so, despite his rather unfortunate fashion sense, dooley boarded the shitty ship, so lovingly dubbed the achievement, and became a member of the slowly growing threat that was the fakes.

and just in time, too.

they returned to the glitterworld to make good on geoff’s promise, only to be met at the docks by a rather chipper free and an ever silent vagabond. free was offering aid in the best form he knew: information. and, suddenly, in the meeting room, geoff had everything he needed to infiltrate the armory of the world’s military, every weak point and every escape route.

stealing that doomsday rocket launcher would be the heist that escalated the fakes from small-time pirate crew, to some of the most dangerous and most wanted groups in the system.

at least, until they would crash land on an isolated world on the edge of the system, and be forced to survive using the small amount of supplies they saved from the crash and their own knowledge.

[snarktheater]

Movie review — The Great Wall

This movie is…complicated to talk about. Any discussion surrounding this movie will be overshadowed by the…politics surrounding it; and that isn't helped by the fact that the movie's content is hardly worth a massive discussion in the first place.

But I saw The Great Wall, and I feel like talking about it. So this is me, hoping I don't put my foot in my mouth as I discuss a complicated, layered problem…and the much less complicated movie it sprouts from.

So let's recap what that movie even is, because the trailers and advertising probably didn't give you too much of an inkling.

Matt Damon is William, an medieval Englishman with a sordid past as a soldier/mercenary on his way to China to get black powder and make a fortune by taking it back to Europe and sell it, along with a group of companions, chief among them being Pedro Pascal as Tovar. And…honestly, I am looking at the character's names on IMDb because they didn't leave that much of a mark. I'll just call them Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal. Besides, that way I can think back to Oberyn Martell.

Need me more Oberyn.

Anyway, their party gets caught by generic bandits in what I assume is the Gobi desert, which is…kind of a weird way to go to China from Europe. I think medieval Europeans tended to go through India to trade with China? Then again, I was always bad in History classes, so maybe not. Either way, in this case we don't have much of a choice, since we gotta run into the titular wall somehow.

And they do…after most of the crew is slaughtered, some by the bandits, and most by a mysterious creature attacking at night. Matt Damon kills it, but its corpse plummets out of reach, leaving our protagonist with only a claw to figure out what he just fought. Before long, he and Pedro Pascal (the only survivor) reach the wall, are taken in by the troops manning it, who explain they are guarding against the creatures like the one Matt Damon killed, called Taotie.

I won't detail the plot, even if I could probably fit it into this review. Point is: the real hero of the story is Commander Lin Mae, a woman who was raised and trained her whole life at the Wall as a soldier. She starts out as the translator for Matt Damon, who is now a prisoner, because the secret of the Wall can't be allowed to reach outside of China for…reasons. But she's also a commander (one of only four), and a badass motherfucker.

Her armor does suffer from a case of the boobplate, albeit a minor one, but…hey, you can't have everything.

As I said, she's the real hero, being the one who ultimately (after becoming General of the army at the wall) leads the battle, kills the monster queen, saves the world, et cetera. Yes, saving the world does become our ultimate stake and there's a monster queen that you have to kill to stop all the other monsters. The movie is not very original as far as how it plays out.

So now we get to the controversial part. This movie has been accused of whitewashing, and, by a smaller, less vocal amount of people, of white savior. The former is definitely incorrect: there's only two white characters in the movie at all, and one is a minor villain. The latter…is a lot more up for debate, and I'll try to present both sides of said debate, but keep in mind that I'm a white European guy, so do take everything I say with a grain of salt.

See, the elements of the white savior are there…but there's also not executed to their full extent. I already mentioned that Lin Mae is the true hero of the story, but that doesn't mean Matt Damon is a "decoy" protagonist as some people have argued. It's a little more complicated than that, and I think the best comparison I can draw is Mad Max: Fury Road. To quote Lindsay Ellis on that movie:

"We all know it's Furiosa's story, but Max is the point of view character and his growth defines the structure of the story, and therefore, he is the protagonist."

Yeah, it's something similar here. The story's key moments are defined by Matt Damon's character development from a greedy mercenary who can't wait to sneak away with black powder, to a hero willing to give it all up to help Lin Mae save the day (which he does—help her, that is). And that growth plays into the movie's overarching theme of the "greed of men", which is what created the Taotie in the first place.

So while he's not a "savior" in terms of story importance. His only acts of "savioring" are ending up in the right place at the right time to discover the Taotie's weakness—and even then, he doesn't do the figuring out—and rescuing Lin Mae during a battle that she could arguably have gotten out of some other way. And it's not like Lin doesn't get her own arc that could have worked to make her the protagonist. If not for the framing, Matt Damon could have been a supporting character without a debate. But…well, there is that framing. It forces us to consider him as the protagonist

The complexities don't end there. The movie features an overwhelming majority of Chinese characters (including the story's actual hero), and has a Chinese director (Zhang Yimou, who not only is a pretty big deal but also makes this movie a gorgeous thing to look at). It draws from Chinese culture and myth (the Taotie are a real myth, albeit changed for the movie, and it is tied to greed). But a good chunk of the crew behind the scene (far bigger than I'd originally expected) are not themselves Chinese, and…well, the actors are a very small part of the storytelling machine in a movie. With that in mind, the focus of the framing makes a lot more sense in a way I'm not entirely comfortable with.

So you end up having to choose one or the other: did the movie pick a white guy as figurehead in order to look more palatable to American audiences, or was the choice born out of a more malicious "it won't work without a white protagonist", an unconscious desire by the crew (especially producers) to put someone like them front and center, or an even more ostentatious display of racism? And regardless of which it is, does it matter? After all, there's a line past which playing the "racism game" to get butts in seats is indistinguishable from being actually racist.

I think the movie meant well. Hell, they were at least self-conscious enough not to force a romance between the two leads, which the movie did not have room for. There was definitely an attempt, which is why I'm more tempted to say it was using Matt Damon as a figurehead. I'm just not sure that it's good enough to have a white protagonist "ironically", so to speak.

But really, far be it from me to assume I can really answer these questions about race. And the movie's a bomb anyway, so now, all we can hope (against hope) is that Hollywood sees it as a sign that it needs to stop focusing on white stories so much, and not…you know, that a story rooted in Chinese culture just can't work.

Because I'm sure it could have worked without the white protagonist. His connection to the Taotie is purely thematic (namely, greed, which isn't directed at the Taotie or anything related to them but at black powder), which could have been woven into the narrative differently. The movie is visually stunning, and removing the unnecessary white protagonist would probably have given it more room to improve on the story. The potential was there, basically.

But we'll see if Hollywood learns the right lesson; In any case, I'd say The Great Wall is a decent movie, even as it is. It's a beautiful blockbuster with a cool female protagonist. Just…you know, don't expect to be blown away.

Ha ha.

[dwtspd]

Dancing with the Stars S24 Week 2 recap

Who will suffer the week 2 curse of suddenly having only 1 week of training? Who will be the first to go home? Typical week 2 questions.

Not much of an opening number, so they compensated with streamers.

Nancy and Artem - Chacha First rehearsal breakdown of the season...sort of...Nancy just isn’t used to getting compliments. She had some missteps in the beginning, and she was a bit dainty for a party dance like the cha cha. It was a decent dance though. Also, first mic malfunction of the season. 7-7-7-7 T28

Erika and Gleb - Foxtrot Is that Erika’s matte lambhorgini? I thought the balance between sensual and foxtrot was nicely achieved. Good choreography from Gleb. Erika hit some nice lines, but she also looked a bit stiff some times. The ending was a bit underwhelming choreo-wise. Handcuff was a funny touch. 7-7-7-7 T28 Len brings his “sevehhhn!” and Julianne and Bruno do their best to copy.

Aaaand congrats Gleb, his wife is expecting a baby girl! In true DWTS fashion, they gift him a sparkly pink baby romper.

Also can I say Erika looks quite nice in light pink and nude lipstick.

LOL at Chris sliding up to Heather when she had to stand on camera alone! That was cute.

Charo and Keo - Paso Doble Charo knows flamenco steps and has spanish heritage, so  she was really excited to do the paso. I felt like she was getting swallowed by her fluffy skirt which didn’t give us a good view of her movements. It was very dramatic, I’ll give her that. What was that about Bruno’s accent? 6-6-7-6 T25 I think Julianne’s 7 is a bit high.

Nick and Peta - Foxtrot Peta’s dress has such a lovely colour that didn’t look as nice under the deep yellow lighting. I can see Nick trying, but he was a bit flat footed and during the faster parts he looked quite lost. I don’t think the song was good for a foxtrot, plus Peta did pack a lot content in there, so he could have been overwhelmed. Peta is kinda optimistic in suggesting a couple made on The Bachelor would survive long enough to have a kid but ehh ok. 7-5-7-6 T25

Heather and Alan Bersten - Jive So Alan is our de facto replacement for male pros who get injured in week 2. Maks looked like he pulled something, though they never specified what his injury was. I wanted to scream at him through the computer screen and tell him “SIT DOWN GODDAMMIT YOU’RE JUST GIVING YOURSELF MORE PAIN”. That was a good jive. Yes the hip hop part in the middle wasn’t necessary but I feel like it got added in so heather didn’t have to learn to dance with Alan that much. Len overreacted a little. Heather’s foot looked floppy in one of the kicks but I think it’s her boot preventing her from pointing fully. Bruno and CAI give contrasting comments and Heather seems a bit confused. 8-6-8-8 T30

Bonner and Sharna - Viennese Waltz Yes I know they have good chemistry, you didn’t need that invasive opening camera angle to tell me that. Bonner was good in this dance - his movements were very smooth and he had a good frame. The dance somehow felt very short though. Nothing outstanding, but it’s a marked improvement from last week. Apparently to Bonner the VWaltz is similar to the Texas two-step which is popular in his hometown, and he throws a shout-out to his uncle. 8-6-8-7 T29

Damn, Bonner has a really nice dreamy voice.

Simone and Sasha - Cha cha I’m pretty sure Sasha can hold a handstand but he’s being funny. “You strut better than me” hahaha. Simone hasn’t had much experience being sexy but she came out and had fun. She throws her arms a bit far back sometimes - common gymnast thing. 7-7-7-8 T29 Not as good at last week, but I’m still rooting for this couple.

Chris and Witney - Jazz when I saw Chris in the newsboy cap (which suits him btw) I thought this would be an old-timey diner kind of jazz. Instead we got some BTS-of-an-old-overbudgeted-movie-set...which was pretty fun too. 6-5-6-5 T22

Normani and Val - Chacha yo, flying between Asia and America is crazy, and going into Pacific time zone is the worst. I’ve done it before. Hope Normani takes a good long nap right now. I kinda hate that stage where the live viewers can crowd around because their hands block the dancer’s legs. For the first half I saw mostly just Normani and Val’s torsos. Keeping the dance within a small area was a good move given their schedule this week. Whatever cha cha I saw was also really good. 8-8-8-8 T32

Rashad and Emma - Viennese Waltz Rashad continues to impress with his capability. The music ended kinda abruptly, and I felt like sometimes their movements was a tad small and not as sweeping as a VWaltz would be. It wasn’t THAT steamy Bruno - have you forgotten the shower dance??? Great that Rashad could come out and be vulnerable like that. 8-8-8-8 T32

Mr T and Kym - Paso doble Of course we need to have a paso to Eye of the Tiger from someone who was on Rocky III. Also, nearly a year ago we had an octacage built on the dance floor, now we have a boxing ring, and both dances were pasos about fighting. I feel like Mr T was thinking a bit too hard, some of his moves looked a bit hesitant. Good improvement timing wise. This man is so humble. 6-5-6-5 T22

David and Lindsay - Cha cha I wish this dance was jazz instead of cha cha so they could go all-out with the jazz funk and hip hop. BUST A MOVE!!! LMAO at David in the funky tights and bright yellow tank top. The Gramps looked awkward doing some of the steps and his legs were turned in. Yay Apolianne throwback! Can’t believe it’s been ten years. Also these last few dances felt really really short 7-6-7-7 T27

And now for the first elimination. ...and we are down to Charo and Chris. Going home is...Chris. Aw man, first elim always sucks. Poor Chris didn’t even have a lot of time to talk because they were pressed for time.

Next week is “Vegas Night”??? I think? What does that mean?...

That’s another week. If you have anything you wanna say, my inbox is always open!