#But yeah I'm still here! Just busy with exam revision;;;

[turoce]

Seana's 2023 art highlights

(surprisingly, not a reupload this time!)

January: i drew nothing! we're off to a great start.

February: i drew something! i love Champ even if i haven't drawn anything tf2 related since April. i think it was this piece where i decided to give Champ RED coloring. [link]

also, this is the month i made my second Moldy plush.... i wasn't very happy with this one, though. [link]

March: uhhhh. more of my tf2 ocs but i think those aren't that interesting. just go to my tf2 oc blog @brokenbrainstormbulb if you wanna see them honestly, i have an image limit to keep ffs. that said, this was around the time i got into TC2, so i drew a lot of that kind of stuff... i'm never drawing stuff for it ever again, sorry. [link]

April: look at the cool thing i drew for a fellow tf2 robot fan! now, this is the point in time where i start drawing more because of a certain interest, so look forward to all the art that'll come up here.....

May: wow, this really was my first public piece of Papa Louie art, huh. i was so proud of it when i showed it off on tumblr the first time... i don't like it as much anymore. for one, the office wall color is wrong.... i still can't believe Papa Louie was what got me out of art block, but god, i'm glad it did. i don't think i've drawn this much before, and even though the community's tiny, i'm glad to give back as much as i can. anyways, i said something like "it's so funny that people think they're either super married or divorced as hell" on the same post. i still think that, and it's defos funny as hell, but i've grown a kind of appreciation towards the ship as well. like yeah, you go girls, we love that extra slow burn with so many road bumps on the way! [link]

June: how the hell did i pump this out. this was also like a few days before i had to leave for the airport too... i don't know myself sometimes. i swear i still love Boigashipping! i just... i'm just busy with other ships okkkk [link]

July: i didn't draw anything...? i was in Bali. and i was busy selling adopt designs to draw anything substantial, oopsie! actually, i DID draw the first part of WDB... it's uh, still the only part. i'm sorry!!!! i'm sorry!!!! i swear i have the whole thing outlined!!! can you just give me anons about the story instead so you won't have to wonder what comes next!! [link]

August: TOSI fixation. it had not gone past it's conceptual stage, i must note. i do wish i would do something about it though. [link]

September: the art trade i did with my friend! actually, i was a few weeks late with my part, so it was supposed to be finished by August. oops. i like the textures tbh. my Chuseok drawings.... i need to draw more characters in hanbok, hee hee. [link]

October: (breaths in) ...this is the month i finally gave into the JoGotcha wantings. LOOK. ever since someone put the idea into my brain i couldn't get enough of it, and like,, nobody draws the ship anymore so i had to take matters into my own hands. this is the first ship i'm this obsessed with. i usually leave ship stuff to other people but this time that wasn't enough and i... i had to do SOMETHING, y'know? [link]

Cringetober? who's that? haha;; i stopped feeling like doing the whole list after less than a week. impressive.

November: oh look, Plushy Power League. Quinn didn't win, but i do like the thing i drew as propaganda, so whateves. the first Papa Louie character i ever drew (minus Chuck and Taylor)... did i change how i draw her? uhh. maybe? i'm not too sure. [link]

also look! the keychain drawing... i need to talk about my Gods and Monsters au again at some point. actually, since i last uploaded the image of my keychain, i revised it tons... it's kinda different now, and i defos think it looks better. this is actually the time i finally fixed the stupid display setting thing that was really messing up my coloring! [link 1] [link 2]

December: ...oops! tablet broke. and i got my 3ds back so i just didn't draw that much even after exams were over. didn't stop me from drawing though, and in fact i think i made something pretty neat with my christmas art.... even if it did come one day late. [link]

wow. that's a whole year of stuff... and that's defos a lot! i think i'm really happy with what i drew this year.... i don't know what was in my water the last few years but my art highlights felt really.... miserable? for some reason. i mean, yeah, i didn't do a lot of what i had planned (GOE ANIMATIC IM SORRY) but i can see that i've done just as much with my hands anyways, so like, who cares? plus, i always have next year... that's coming in 3 hours, oh god- so, maybe i won't be too hard on myself for not fulfilling my goals... like, i kinda glossed over it, but i did sell my designs for money, and that's like, really impressive! so many people around me buy and sell their art stuff already, so i guess i didn't really register it as something to be proud of... but doing that shit (making, and marketing) is hard!! so like, it's a wow moment for me!

anyways, i'm tired, i only came back home a few hours ago, and i need to get up again for church in a few hours.... mrphgdjd. lets stop being sentimental, and i'll see you people next year. that's a long way off! hope you don't miss me.

[studying-space-of-annie]

Haven't updated this blog in a while now my bad guys 😔 here's how my exams went!

Biology- it was pretty easy overall but fucking. FISH GILLS CAME UP??? WE NEVER EVEN LEARTN ABOUT IT???? it was an afternoon exam n me n my friends revised in the library all day before it lmaooo it was actually so fun. Monoclonal antibodies came up tho!! My fave topic!! :3

Geography- easy. I didn't revise hurricane case studies n it didn't come up lmao. Yeah that's basically it (can you tell I don't like geography)

Maths (non calc)- ehhh mixed feelings. I made alot of stupid mistakes but the paper was easier than the mocks sooo ig you win some you lose some. So pissed off I spent so much time learning the exact trig values n it didn't even come up ughhh :/

Business paper 2- EASSYYYYYYYYY!!! I thought paper 1 would be easier but they proved me wrong somehow?? The whole paper was a breeze the case studies were sent from the heavens. I will never look at pizza, biscuits, and Polestar car brand the same anymore tho .

Chemistry paper 1- it was mostly calculations which was pretty easy! I only revised ONE practical and it was the one that came up LMAO. I messed up on the multiple choice questions tjo 😭

English literature paper 2- IT WAS AAMAZING!!!! For inspector calls i did the theme question which was abt how power is presented, cuz literally who would do the character question. It wasn't even a proper character question it was about fuvking Sheila n Gerald's relationship. Like I'm not a relationship counsellor idc about their failing marriage . For poetry I predicted exposure would come up n it did!! So fucking happy checking out me history (predicted by many others) didn't come up I would've been cooked otherwise. I compared it w Charge of the Light Brigade I loveeee that poem hehe; I feel like I didn't add enough context n I kinda made up a random rhyme scheme for cotlb cuz I forgot what the actual thing was but oh well! They really had us analysing a fucking table for unseen poetry huh . I said that it was an extended metaphor for the poet's dysfunctional family n stuff loll. Normally my best part in paper 2 is unseen poetry but I don't think I did really great cuz the poems were so fuckin simplistic there was barely anything to write. Esp the second comparison poem like?? Okay we all miss our mom's food sometimes you're not special . Anyways I think I did p good overall! I actually had time to even write the conclusion for both section a and b which is crazy cuz I was stressing about running outta time lmao . I also took some of my friend's bandaids before the exam so my fingers don't hurt alot after writing nonstop for 2hours and 15minutes and it actually worked! A bit uncomfortable tho I'll probably only do it for English exams lmao . Not me crying internally when my friends celebrate being free from English literature forever cuz im doing it for a levels 😔 (jk I still love the subject I just hate its exams)

Anyways yeah!! Ive been pretty lucky so far ngl the things i studied for came up. I have physics paper 1 tmr, then English language paper 1 rhe next day, then one week holiday starts! I'll probably just spend the whole time revising for subjects after the half term cuz they're HARD subjects (most paper 2s 💔💔💔) I'm planning to go to my schools library to revise w my friends tho!! Like a lil study group kinda thing cuz I lack discipline n will not get anything done by myself 😭

[sofs-art]

I was fighting some church giants the other day, and as I thought about how their outfits could be similar to what Ludwig’s looked like, I came to the very sudden realisation that I’ve never seen anyone draw him in a hat. Ever.

So here he is.

With a hat.

[vilelittlecritter]

Yo, forgot to post these so here's some pages in my sketchbook. I did these because I ended up being too stressed to revise which is really annoying. I'm going to have to seriously cram tomorrow and Tuesday.

Although I gotta admit I love the cross hatching I did on the figure and I'm realising one of my biggest tissues is how I shade and do like art so with that solved I'm pretty happy!

I need a 50% to pass and I'm just god hoping that I at least barely scrape by. I really need to work on prioritising things as this has caused me alot of stress. Granted at the beginning of the year I was going through alot which kinda messed alot of stuff up but still my prioritising skills need work.

I'm worried about the exams of course but if I fail it's not the end of the world because I'll still be able to go to college, I'll just have to be working at a lower grade than I'd like to be in. And even if I do mess up I can still get into my class of choice just so long as I show an improved portfolio but as nice as that is I'm not relying on a "maybe".

Like I plan on seriously trying to push my art after this month but that still doesn't guarantee anything, granted I am super happy with the progress I've made over even such a short amount of time. Like I'm really getting to the point where I believe I can start really making the stuff I wanna make and just get freaky with my art, I wanna add a lot more colour and even sorta horror elements to my stuff.

So yeah, big dumb baby brain too busy drawing and not doing the English work.

[violettawriting]

Chapter Two

Francesca's P.O.V

It's been a week and a half since Leóns party and I've been extremelly busy with classes and all of the complementary college projects i've signed to this semester. I barely have time to think about anything else besides sheet music and guitar chords.

I was in the middle of revising a song lyric that I've been working on when my phone starts vibrating, and my brother Luca's name appears on the screen.

"Ciao, Luca. Cosa desideri?" I answear not really in the mood for talking.

"Woah, okay... i missed you too." He teases. "How are you? We haven't heard of you in weeks."

"Sto bene, Luca. Just very busy." i try to sound as friendly as I can.

"Hm. Good to hear. Soo... you already know why I'm calling, right? You still haven't told us if you're coming for nonna's birthay party."

I take a deep breath and press the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger. I hate to sound like I don't care about my family's stuff. I mean, I love them and I miss them very much. But sometimes it seems like they just don't aknowledge the fact I'm living in another continet and it's not that easy to go visit. Plus, I'm really focused on college right now. They'll be offering a huge opportunity to work with the biggest singer of Buenos Aires, Angie Carrara (aka Vilu's aunt), to the student with best grades by the end of the semester and I've been working my ass of to get it.

"Yeah, I know.. I'm sorry. It's just that I still don't know if there'll be any exams in that week. I promise I'll give you guys a response ASAP."

"Hm... alright. Just please don't take too long, 'kay?" I mumble a positive answer. "Okay then... Prenditi cura di te. We'll be waiting for you call.

"A presto". I hang up and stare at my screen. God, I really need a good night of sleep.

I stretch in the chair and run my hands through my hair, sighing wearily. After a few seconds staring at the wall, I finally get some courage to get myself up and go to the cafeteria buy myself something extra-sugary.

In the middle of my walk from the dormitories to the main building, I notice how crowded the campus is today. For some reason, it seems to have more people around this wednesday afternoon. I watch as a few groups of students pass by, chatting in hushed tones. As I finally approach the grand entrance of the University of Buenos Aires, I spot a rather... amusing pair, whispering intensely in a more secluded corner.

I spot Ludmila's shiny hair first. Her colorfull outfit starkly contrasts with Diego's plain gray shirt and black pants. I try not to stare but I just can't help feeling intriged by this weird duo.

Obviously I'm not able to make out the words, so I eventually give up on watching them. But not before Diego cathes my staring eyes and stops talking. I try to act normal, as if it was just a coincidence that I was looking at their direction the same moment he looked at me, and rush into the building.

***

I'm sitting at a table in the corner of the cafeteria, waiting for Cami who's currently stuck in class with Gregorio. Poor her. I sip my cup of hot chocolate slowly, savoring it before it ends and I have to go back to my studies.

I am completely distracted inside my own mind and don't notice the blonde girl coming in my direction. "Hi, Fran! How are you today?" Ludmila aproaches me with that well-known fake tone in her voice. "It's been a while since we last had a chat!"

I stare at the girl, trying not to give her a face as annoyed as i feel right now. I've known Ludmila since high school, when i moved to Argentina with my family and started studying music at the Studio 21. It's no news that she's a trouble maker and will do whatever it takes to archieve her goals. Good thing we don't get to spend too much time together here in Uni.

"Hello, Ludmila" I reply not really giving her much attention.

I can sense what's to come when she pulls the chair on the other side of the table and sits in front of me. "So, how's the... chocolate?" she asks, in that typical Ludmila way.You can tell she's struggling to find friendly words to say. God, she's terrible at pretending to be interested in other people.

"Great. Can I help you?" I ask her directly. We both know she wouldn't come here if she didn't wanted something from me.

"Woah, Fran, it really hurts my feeling when you speak to me like this" She touches her chest in a hurt way and makes a sad puppy face. I say nothing, just stare at her with my brow arched, waiting. "Well, okay. Whatever," she drops the act. "I just wanted to ask why were you eversdropping my private conversation yearlier".

I keep staring and pretend I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Oh please, don't play dumb with me. What did you hear?" She is leaning on her arms, almost reaching the middle of the table, looking at me intently.

"I didn't hear anything, Ludmila. And I wasn't eversdropping."

She fake laughs, dismissing my answear with a "don't bullshit me" look.

"Seriously. I couldn't hear a word. And honestly, I don't care, either. So, don't worry. I won't tell anyone you were dealing drugs with Diego or anything." I say, getting up and grabbing my stuff.

Ludmila laughs loudly at that and I turn my head at her direction, actually intriged by her reaction.

"Drugs?! Oh, please, Fran. As if i needed any of that shit. Mind you, I'm pretty content with my sane mind. I'm naturally fun and entertaining." She runs a hand through her hair and leans back in the chair. "Plus, I would never do that to my body. Hello?? I'm an artist. A star. I gotta take care of my health and my voice." She says, as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Aaalright... good for you. Really, congrats." I say, forcing a interested voice. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a saxophone waiting for me to play it in my dorm." I walk away as quickly as I can, leaving her no chance to keep the conversation going.

As I was briskly walking through the place, I bump into a familiar redhead who also seems to be in a hurry.

"Oof! Francesca, you nearly knocked me over!" Camila scolds me. "Where are you going with such hurry?"

"Sorry, I was running from Ludmila. She's certain I was eversdropping her and Diego earlier."

"Well... were you?" My friend asks, as we leave the building.

"No!! Of course not. I just saw them suspiciously whispering and thought it was weird." I say, trying not to sound as if it was a big deal because I know how invested in gossips Camila can get.

"Hum... I see." She ponders for a moment and we keep walking towards the dormitories. When I think the subject is already over, she spats "But like- why were they together? I mean, what could these two possibly have in common? Obviously it wasn't for drugs. Ludmila would never use any of that..." she keeps rumbling as I stay silent. Suddenly, Cami stops mid-walk and gasps. "Oh. My. God. What if they're secretly dating???"

I turn to look at my insane friend. "What? Where'd you get this idea from?" I say. "Of course not. They would never date each other. Plus, what's this? Middle school?" I dismiss her crazy idea, but as I think about it I start wondering if that would be really impossible. "Anyway. It doesn't matter. Why are Diego and Ludmila even a topic of our conversation?"

I open the door in front of me and enter the dormroom, leaving those thoughts in the hallway.

[tinysushimark]

My Everything (HRJ)

1.7k words. (Fluff)

Sometimes you wished you could run away from college and then run a café and live with your boyfriend.

You looked up at him, he was playing on his phone, why was he so relaxed? He has finals too next week. "Renjun! Don't you have to study?" You said.

"I'm done with my course." He said looking back down at his phone.

You sighed, he was always one step ahead of you, even when you were in school he used to teach you things because he was done. Now, even in college he was done before you. Even though you had different majors, you had the same college and fortunately, your classes took place in the same building.

A sigh escaped from your lips as you looked at the amount of chapters left. "What's wrong baby?" Renjun said, sitting next to you.

"I have 3 more chapters left, and exams are next week." You said. "Anything i can help with?" At this you snickered.

"Babe you're an arts major, how are you going to help me with Company Law?" You smiled and looked down.

"I am smart." He said.  "I never said you're dumb."

He stood behind your chair and started massaging your shoulders and neck. "Renjun what the-" He shushed you. "Get back to work." He kept massaging your shoulders.

"Renjun stop. That fucking hurts."

"You're stressed it's all pent up-"

"I told you to fucking stop it." You shouted at him, shooting a death glare.

"Why are you being so mean? I'm just trying to help." Renjun spat at you.

"You're clearly not helping, so how about you leave? You're just adding on to my stress with your completed course." You shouted at him.

He picked his bag up and slammed the door on his way out, making you flinch a little.

Asshole, that's the only word that came to your head once he left. His temper is very very short. Sometimes you wondered why you dated him and got annoyed at him. You had noticed how nowadays, the way he dealt with you had started changing.

He'd shout and slam doors. He never did that before but he was doing it nowadays. He is definitely bored of you and wants to break up with you, this is what you thought.

He on the other hand was very stressed, it wasn't about studies, it was about his family. After he left for college, he got to know about the fights which happened back at home. His mom and dad were fighting a lot more than when he was back at home. It had driven him off the edge that he wasn't there to stop his parents. He was an only child, so he'd end up persuading them to stop fighting, but he couldn't do it from here, in college. The only person who'd listen to him was getting annoyed at him too, you. He thought that he was the problem, probably everyone around him has problems because of him.

You weren't able to complete your course because Renjun decided to stay the nights in between semester and took you out so much. If he would've told you to study, you'd be revising by now. He forgot that you leave everything for him. He hadn't told you anything about what was happening back at home. He applied to the same college as you because he didn't want to lose you but he slowly understood that he was just a distraction for you.

Renjun didn't speak to you the entire week, and the week after that. You were done with your exams but still no contact or trace of Renjun.

You called him multiple times those weeks but he didn't pick up, knowing that he was probably busy revising, you left him alone. You needed the space.

After your exams were over you went to his shared flat, one of his flatmates saw you in an alleyway and smiled at you. "Mark, have you seen Renjun?"

"Renjun went to college, he must be back by now though." Mark said.

"Ok, thanks."

"If he isn't home, you can just wait on the couch, he'll be back soon I think." Mark said.

You nodded, bidding Mark a goodbye and walking to their apartment. Renjun had told you the password to the apartment, all his flatmates knew that he had a girlfriend and they didn't mind it. They were friendly and got along with you.

When you unlocked the door and got in you saw a girl in the kitchen, around the same age as you.

"Oh Mark you're back?" She said and turned around. "Hello." You said and she smiled at you. "Who are you by the way?" She asked you, the question took you aback.

"I'm Rejun's girlfriend." You said, her mouth formed a small Oh. "What's your Major and Year?"

"I'm a final year in BCom."

"I'm a first in year Mass Media. Oh by the way I'm Mark's girlfriend."  She said and passed a cup of coffee towards you. "Renjun isn't home, how about you wait here till he's back? He said he wanted to get some groceries." Mark's girlfriend said. She was younger than you and Mark. Mark was doing his post graduation and she was in her first year. You and Renjun were the same age.

When Renjun had moved in only Mark was living here, before another guy named, Jeno had moved in. You had found yourself a reasonable one flat apartment but slowly it's cost was rising which was a problem for you, but you kept living in it.

"We're looking for a flatmate." Mark's girlfriend said, trying to break the awkward silence. "Oh, where do you live?"

"The apartment above."

The both of you started talking about college and she told you details about the flat and the empty room. It seemed decent and you thought about it. "Can i see it?" It was a chance to be closer to Renjun, he wouldn't have to commute so much to see you.

Renjun came back home an hour after you had arrived, Mark and his girlfriend kept you entertained. They made you coffee and spoke to you.

When Renjun came home, you saw his red face, which was puffy.

He saw you and stood at the door frozen. Slowly tears started to fall from his eyes and your movements were quick. You ran to him and hugged him. He fell on his knees near the shoe shelves and you hugged him. He cried into your arms and you soothed his back.

"What's wrong Jun?" You asked softly. Instead you got a louder sob for a reply.

His grip around you tightened and he cried for a few minutes before pulling away and pushing your hair back from your face.

"My parents are getting divorced, and i thought i lost you because you lost interest in me-"

"Renjun I love you." You said hands caressing his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me about all this?"

"I didn't want to burden you, and I thought you'd get affected."

"Renjun, if it's bothering you and is a problem to you, it's my problem too." You said smiling at him.

"They've been fighting a lot lately, since i came here."  Renjun looked down at the floor. "I wasn't there to stop them."

"Renjun, its not your fault." You put your hand under his chin and made him look up at you. "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself."

"But I should've been there and because of me you weren't able to complete your course on time, its all my fault."

Your boyfriend who was almost a head taller than you, suddenly seemed like a small lost child who you wanted to coddle and sing to. He looked so troubled and sad that your heart hurt. It wasn't his fault, he blames himself for everything.

You remember the time when you were cutting vegetables and got a slight cut, he blamed himself for it, saying that he knew that you dont know how to use a knife so he should've been the one cutting the vegetables.

He was harsh on himself and as much as you believed you could change it, you couldn't but you wanted to.

"Renjun, its not your fault that i didn't study, it's my fault. That's on me."

"If I hadn't stayed the nights, you'd be done."

"Renjun you stayed over the weekends, i always had weekdays but i ended up wasting them, it's on me." You explained to him.

"What about my parents? That's totally on me. I shouldn't have left them knowing how hostile they are towards each other."

"If they were hostile towards each other did you ever consider that they were both stressed together. They didn't want to be together Renjun."

He finally looked at you, eyes dejected.

"I want to break up with you."

"Why?"

"I'm nothing but a distraction to you."

"You are my driving force. You're like a miracle to me. I wish you could see that."  You connected your foreheads. "You're the person i look forward to each day, knowing you'll provide me comfort and that you'll be there to listen to me."

"And i wish i could show you how much i feel for you, It can't be expressed in words." You whispered, planting a small kiss on his cheek.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on and  for keeping you in the dark." Renjun said.

You nodded. "You're not gonna hear the end of it, they annoyed me so much over the phone about who'll keep the pearls and me." Renjun said. "Honestly, your mom deserves the pearls." You said looking into his eyes.

A small giggle came from his chest. "Yeah she does."

That's when the door opened and Jeno entered. "Renjun, its dirty here-"

"Oh hi Y/N!"  Jeno smiled and waved at you. Mark slowly pulled Jeno, "You're ruining their moment dude." Mark muttered under his breath.

All of you laughed and ate ramen for dinner, enjoying each others company.

"Renjun, Mark's girlfriend told me there's a room upstairs that's empty. I was thinking i should move in there." You said when he brought you to his room.

"Actually, i was about to ask you if you wanna move in together, Mark wants his girlfriend to shift downstairs, we can have the entire apartment to ourselves." Renjun smiled. "Plus my house is closer to our college."

"Yes, I'll move in with you."

New beginnings awaited you two, all full of happiness and sunshine with a few rainy days, but no storm lasts forever, all of them pass, and bring along sunshine again.

Read More: Masterlist

[anime-corner]

I'm Here | Oikawa T.

A/N: Hey guys! I'm back (hopefully for longer since classes are about to end). Anyways, this one's a bit shorter than usual. I hope you like it!

"Yahoo! Knock, knock~ Sorry, practice finished later than usual!" Oikawa called out but was only greeted by darkness, "(n/n)-chan?"

The house was still, not a single noise was heard. Oikawa doubted that you would leave without texting him, it was practically tradition to crash at your place every after school. He looked around, stealing a loaf of bread before heading upstairs. Dim lights could be seen from under the closed door as Oikawa turned the knob, inviting himself in as usual.

"Hey, Iwa-chan told me that-- what are you doing typing, er writing, whatever it is you're doing in the dark?!" He bellowed, flicking the light switch on. A hiss escaped your lips as you momentarily closed your eyes to adjust to the lighting.

"Shut up, Tooru. I'm kind of busy at the moment so if you don't mind, I'd like to finish all of this tonight." His eyes glanced over at the stack of papers on your left as your right hand hovered on top of another, gripping on a pencil tightly. Your left hand was typing away as fast as it could.

"What's all these? Haven't you finished the assignment yesterday?"

"Well, yes but, this one's for the student council. I need to file a report and it needs to be passed at midnight." You then gestured towards the paper, a bit crumpled with the many times you wrote the wrong formula, "And this is for Monday's class presentation."

"And these?" He pointed towards the stack of papers.

"That's…" You blinked a couple of times before responding, "I think it's the ones from the council three days ago that I haven't checked yet. Anyways, I'll handle that after I'm done with this."

"How many hours of sleep did you even get?" He asked.

"What? I don't think my sleep schedule has anything to do with this, Tooru." You answered, not taking your eyes off of your work.

"Just tell me." Oikawa insisted, sitting on your bed as he stared at you.

"Fine. Around two or so? I'll give it a three since I've been running on coffee since I woke up." His brows furrowed, worry etched on his face if only you took the time to look at him.

"That's not good, (n/n)-chan. Come on, I'll finish that." You shook your head, still not lifting your gaze away.

"No way, you had practice just minutes ago! I'm perfectly capable of finishing these within the day if you just so let me. Now shush-- hey!"

"I mean it, (y/n)." You huffed as you glared at him, "You need your sleep. I'll wake you up before dinner."

"What? No! I can't, Tooru!" You protested, standing up from your seat as you felt a slight pain from your head. You shook it off as nothing, "Tachibana-sensei's breathing down my neck saying she'd be the reason why I wouldn't be graduating this year."

"You still have a day to go before classes start again on Monday. You don't need to rush everything today--"

"Haven't you been listening? The report is due tonight. These," You gestured towards the stack of papers, "Might as well be due at the same time. And after this one, I've also got to revise my notes. I'm falling behind, Tooru and I don't want to hear anything from my mother once I move back."

"You won't (y/n), trust me. You're the smartest girl I know in school and probably the busiest one. I'm sure she'd be proud of you--"

"You see, that's not enough. I need to get my grades up, a bit higher than now." You countered. You retorted, huffing in annoyance at how the setter wouldn’t leave you all alone.

"You don't need to. What you need is to calm down a bit. You know that--"

"Will you stop it, Tooru!? You just don't get it, do you?! My parents thought that I would get into Shiratorizawa and what did I do? Fail the exam!" You bellowed, standing up from your seat as the male stepped back a bit. You stood up, voice raised as Oikawa stepped back, "My mom wanted me to at least be at the top during my first and second year, to at least in her words, redeem myself. But I failed on that too. Now, you're telling me to calm down? To take a break? Well, I can't. I've got my family's voices screaming at me saying I should do better! Do you know how--"

"You're crying, (y/n)..." Oikawa whispered as he placed a hand on your cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears. You lightly pushed him back, rubbing your way with your sleeves. He pointed out. A hand lay on your cheek as his thumb wiped away a tear, you pushed him away after, wiping it away with your hands.

"S-shut up. I'm not crying. Just… leave me alone for today, Tooru. I'm really busy and I can't afford to let all of my hard work turn to dust."

"I'll help you."

"For the last time, I--" He cut you off.

"Just let me help!" He was already frustrated seeing the girl he adored so much struggling with her life.

He knew of her problem with her parents and most importantly, he knew the conflict she had with herself. He knew that feeling more than ever. And he didn't want her to feel the same way he did during that time.

And he was afraid that, while it might not cost her a knee, she might lose so much more if she continues. Perhaps, her eyesight or her health. Worst case, her life. And he wasn't going to let her get to that point.

"If Iwa-chan was here, he'd know what to do… but he isn't. And I don't want to disturb him too. I'm just trying my best to help you, because I understand, I understand you the most out of everyone," He walked closer, enveloping you in a hug as the two of you sat on the floor, "You just want to prove something but, you're all fed up about everything. You're trying your best but I guess, to others, that's not good enough."

Tears slowly dripped down from your face once again as you buried your head on his chest, gripping on his jacket, "Why can't you leave me alone, Tooru? I don't care if you get me… I just want to be left alone."

"I'm staying, (y/n) and that's final. I'm not going to let you carry that burden all by yourself anymore. I'm here, remember? I'll help you," Oikawa whispered in your ear as he caressed your back, "You're, besides Iwaizumi, the one I treasure the most. I care about you and I don't want you to suffer like this when I know that I could have tried and saved you from it."

"Why?" That one question made him silent for a while as you looked up at him.

"I… it's because…" He sighed, making you somewhat dread and anticipate the answer at the same time, "I love you, you know that? And while this might possibly be-- ah, who am I kidding? It's the worst time possible to tell you this, I don't think that I'll be able to get another chance like this."

"T-Tooru… I…" You started but went silent as he brought his hand up.

"Please hear me out?" He inhaled before opening his mouth again to speak, "I… I want to support you (y/n), the same way you and Iwaizumi did all these years, especially during the time when I overworked my knee. The two of you were always there. So, let me be there for you too."

"It's just not easy when you've been doing everything yourself for most of your life…" You gulped, avoiding his gaze as you clenched your fists tightly.

"I know. But, I really do love you. And I promise that you'll never regret choosing me unlike how I regret eyeing up girls when I knew that you were right in front of me the whole time and they'll never be you. They'll never be as hardworking, caring and overly kind as you. You're perfect and so much more. Because everything means nothing to me if I can have you to call as mine." Oikawa said, moving a strand of your hair away from your face.

"Even the nationals?" You asked, teasing him a bit.

"I… okay, maybe not the nationals. I still want to beat Ushiwaka and all. But that's besides the point," He shook his head, placing his chin on top of your head, "You're amazing and beautiful, even when you think you're not. And I'm really sorry for confessing at the worst time possible. But, believe me when I say that I love you."

"Why are you… confessing now?" Somehow, this question made him think. It's not like he hadn't practiced his answer in the mirror for a million times, making sure it was perfect to his ears. Not at all. But, given the situation, he'd have to abandon that script and start a new one.

"Well, it just pains me to see you doing the same things I did before, even though your academics and my career as a player are two different things, and I thought that if I manage to successfully tell you how I feel, I could somehow help you carry all of this. Because by that time, I would hopefully be your boyfriend." Oikawa spoke genuinely, moving one of his hands from her back to her head, stroking her hair.

"You don't need to be my boyfriend to help me, you know."

"I know that but you just make it so difficult, argh! Everytime I see you frustrated, I just wanna hug you and kiss you and then take over your work while you rest. But I can't do that as a friend! So… so..." Not that he thought about it, what he said sounded stupid, "Yeah, I know. It's a dumb excuse."

"You're an idiot." The third year laughed out loud.

"I know, Iwa tells me that all the time." You lightly hit his shoulder, hiding the smile that was threatening to show, "At least I made you smile right?"

"I guess you did, Tooru. I guess you did." He hummed in satisfaction before something else you couldn't quite figure out what was etched on his face.

"I'm not going to force you to answer my feelings right away, (y/n)-chan. I can wait." He stammered.

"Why wait when I feel the same way? I love you too, Tooru." He perked up suddenly, making you hide the massive blush on your face.

"Wait, really? You're not joking right? (y/n)?" The setter found you fast asleep, whether or not you were faking it, he wouldn't know. He only chuckled, kissing your head, "Alright… I'll let you get some rest. You deserve it."

He carried you over to your bed, tucking you in. His hand lingered on your cheek, a smile on his face as he whispered.

"Dream of me will you, (y/n)-chan?" Oikawa stood up straight, eyes darting towards your mess of a desk, "Now… which one did she say she needed by midnight?"

Let me hold your hand and carry the same burden you hold. I'll always be here, even if you push me away.

[willow-salix]

TAG MiniBang 2021

Because the combined bad influences of Flyboy and Sonata were at work here we also decided to bend the rules a little and post early...

I was privileged to work with one of my best friends on this project,  @misssquidtracy​ . We went a little rogue (seems to be a theme for us) and shared both parts of the challenge with both of us contributing to the art and the writing. Squiddy provided a beautifully done pallet knife piece as the background for my foreground art and we plotted the story together to ensure that it worked for both of us. We had been looking forward to sharing the writing but unfortunately, due to life constraints on her part she was only able to write a little of the fic but what she did add perfectly compliments the tone and style of my writing. 

Big thanks to @tagminibang ) @godsliltippy​ ) for organising this event.

So, here it is, our offering to the TAG Mini Bang. We hope you enjoy it. 

Ting ting ting

“Not again,” Virgil groaned, hauling himself up the stairs from the kitchen to the lounge. He regretted ever giving Gordon that bell, he really did. Yes his brother had gone through a tough time, yes he had scared the hell out of them when the Chaos Crew had left him at the bottom of the ocean in his mangled craft, yes they were incredibly grateful that he was alive and mostly whole, but if they had to hear that dinging one more time they might possibly murder him themselves. 

“Yes, Gordy, what do you need?” 

“I’m lonely, and I’m hungry, come and sit with me for a bit?”

“Sure-”

“But maybe make me a sandwich first?”

“A sandwich?” 

“Yeah, with extra cheese and a pickle on the side, not too large a pickle but not too small that it’s gone in one bite. I want to taste it, you know, but not be overwhelmed.”

“Sure-”

“And can you get me a drink too? One of my special milkyshakes, you know, with the ice cream and frozen banana in it?”

“Coming right up,” Virgil sighed, heading back down to the kitchen again.

“Gordon still demanding everything and anything?” Scott asked as he jogged in from the poolside. His T-shirt was sticking to his chest and his hair was damp with sweat but he still looked like he could do it all again. Not that they would have time, they were lucky if they got to do any planned exercise at all, usually they were forced to skip it and work out on the job when a call came in.

“Of course he is,” Virgil growled, slapping a slice of cheese on a piece of bread with far more force than necessary.

“What did the cheese do to you?”

“It’s guilty by association.”

“Ah,” Scott said, like that explained things perfectly. 

A few slices of chicken received the same treatment and Scott wondered if the meat had actually been dead when it arrived on the island or if Virgil had simply smacked it into submission so well that the chicken had flown clear into next week and arrived as sandwich filling.

“Can you fix his drink?” Virgil asked.

“Can’t gotta shower this off before Grandma accuses me of stinking up the place again.”

“Any excuse,” Virgil scowled. “It would only take you a second.”

“A second too long, bro, I’m escaping while I can and you’d be wise to do the same,” Scott said, heading for the stairs and freedom.

“How can I escape when Gordon needs help?”

“You’re forgetting one important thing,” Scott told him wisely. 

“I am? And that would be…”

“John’s home.”

Virgil snorted out a laugh. “He’s less likely to do it than you are.”

“No, you're misunderstanding me. If John’s home that means…” Scott let his sentence trail off into silence heavily filled with insinuation.

“Sel’s here,” Virgil finished triumphantly, catching on perfectly.

“Give that Tracy a prize,” Scott grinned, shooting triumphant finger guns his brother’s way as he headed up the stairs. 

And they said that John was the genius in the family, they hadn’t seen Scott at his most devious. Virgil wasted no time in yanking out his phone and texting the witch to come and take over.

“Here’s your sammich, Squidward,” Selene cooed, plonking the plate down on Gordon’s lap while smacking a kiss to his forehead. “Virgil started it but I finished it for you, Brains called him down to his lab with some kind of air filter emergency so I took over. I brought you some of those crisps you like from my private stash too.”

“The cheesy curl ones?” Gordon asked hopefully.

“Yep,” she grinned, waggling a family sized bag of Quavers in his general direction.

“Did you bring my drink?” Gordon asked around a mouthful of chickeny goodness. Say what you wanted about Virgil but he made a damn good sandwich, even if Gordon could taste that this was made with a little less love and a little more impatience than usual.

“No, sorry, did you want one? Virgil didn’t say that. I’ll go get you something, just wait right there.”

"Not like I can leave if the mood takes me," Gordon grumbled as he opened the chip bag. 

She was already gone, only to race back in a few moments later with a can of coke.

“What? What’s wrong, boo?” Selene asked when she saw the pouting look of disappointment on Gordon’s face.

“It was supposed to be one of my special milkyshakes,” he whined.

“Right, got it, my bad!”

She was gone again, taking off to the kitchen where, upon closer inspections, she did indeed find the beginnings of a milkshake. There were two scoops of ice cream already in the blender, melting in the warmth of the room. A half peeled banana sat abandoned on the counter next to a carton of milk. 

“Typical,” she groused as she set about breaking up the banana, pouring the milk and setting it to blend as she tidied the mess away. Once done she poured it into a tall glass, added a straw and a few slices of fresh banana to decorate the edges, just as he liked it, and delivered it to the waiting aquanaut.

“Great, thanks, Sel,” he grinned, handing her his now empty plate and swapping it for the glass. She put the plate on the coffee table and sat on the couch opposite him.

“Anything else I can do for you?”

 “Sit with me and keep me company?” he begged, looking so miserable and pathetic that she couldn’t say no.

“Of course I will.” 

Gordon swung his injured leg up and she moved to sit next to him on the couch, placing a cushion on her lap for him to rest his cast covered foot on.

Gordon settled down with a contented sigh, sucking happily on his straw, the milkshake level in the glass steadily dropping.

“I’m bored,” Gordon bitched five minutes later.

“That peace lasted a long time,” Selene laughed, putting her phone down on the side table to give him her full attention. “What can I do to help? Do you want to watch something or play a game?”

Gordon made a face. “You’re crap at games, Sel.”

One eyebrow rose in disbelief. “I wouldn’t exactly say crap…”

“You tried to play with Alan and died three times in two minutes, lost all your lives and were forced to float along behind him as a ghost for the rest of his turn.”

“Anything is crap when you say it like that,” Selene huffed. 

“Only when it’s true.”

“Tell me then, oh great games master, what do you want to do?”

“Nothing.”

“Then don’t moan you’re bored,” she pointed out.

“I mean there’s nothing to do. No one is around.”

Selene gestured to her chest. “Am I suddenly invisible?”

“No, of course not,” he scoffed. “That would be far too cool, why don’t you have witch powers like that?”

“Because I live in the real world, not a movie?”

“Lame,” he declared, dismissing it.

“Back to the original point that I am, in fact, right here. Therefore your comment that no one is around is redundant.”

“I meant no one I can do anything with.”

“Thin ice, bub, thin ice.”

“I meant like my brothers or someone. Alan is busy revising for his final exams, Virgil’s with Brains and I’ve no idea where Scott is but I think he’s avoiding me, which is just mean if you ask me. I’m a delight.”

“Yeah, you sure are,” she drawled, not sounding too convinced. “You’re also forgetting a brother.”

“Who?”

“John? You know, gorgeous ginger love of my life that’s chilling in his room right this minute? That brother?”

“John? No way.”

“What’s wrong with John?” she squawked indignantly. Her man was the most perfect of people, amazing and fabulous, just all round awesome. Although she might be a tad biased.

Gordon shrugged, scrunching his nose up in a ‘meh’ kinda way that said everything and nothing.

“No, come on, tell me what you meant,” she demanded.

“No offence, Sel, but John’s a bit…”

“A bit what?” she asked, her tone warning him that he was in very dangerous territory.

Gordon, with the grace of an elephant and confidence of a man that knew he was injured and therefore wouldn’t get slapped, plowed on.

“A bit boring.”

“Boring?!” she hollered, her voice travelling to the four corners of the island so effectively that Alan lifted his head, wondering if some distant God was echoing his thoughts as he slogged through his history homework.

“How very dare you!” Selene continued, working up a good glare that Gordon was completely immune to. He simply sipped the last of his milkshake, smacked his lips and raised an eyebrow, daring her to do something about it.

“He is not boring.”

“Matter of opinion,” Gordon shrugged, handing her the glass to put down on the table. 

“Right, that’s it, you can besmirch my fun factor but I will not allow you to do so to my man. That’s a step too far.” She gently, for which he was thankful, shoved his leg off her lap and dragged his hover chair over from its spot beside Virgil’s piano.

“Get the hell in, hoppy, we’re going for a ride.”

-x-

"You deal with him, he's driving me nuts and pissing me off at the same time."

"Me? I'm the very picture of perfection, I could never drive anyone nuts."

John declined to comment on that one for fear of never stopping, he had twenty-four years worth of stories after all. 

“The pissing you off is subjective too,” Gordon finished triumphantly. 

"He's your problem now," Selene announced, shoving Gordon's hover chair further into the room before making her escape, slamming the door shut behind her. 

John closed his eyes, praying for patience. His fiancée was well known for her legendary patience when it came to pampering and mothering his family whenever any of them were sick or injured. She'd spent almost every day with Gordon since his run in with the Chaos Crew and had done so with relentless cheer, for her to have given up now was not a good sign. 

"What did you do?" 

"Nothing!" Gordon protested hotly.

"Are you sure?" 

Gordon averted his gaze, suddenly taking great interest in a dust particle dancing across the shaft of sunlight filtering in through the window, "Yes, I'm sure. I wasn't doing anything. That was part of the problem."

"Ah," there it was. "Is there anything I can do to help?" 

"I'm so bored," Gordon wailed. "And your girlfriend is being mean to me."

"Fiancée," John corrected him, not looking up from his work. 

"It's not my fault I hate sitting around doing nothing all day. I’ve gone from a physically and mentally intensive, fifty plus hour a week job, to sitting on my ass from dawn until dusk. Can you blame a guy for getting twitchy?"

"Unfortunately, you don't have much of a choice at the moment," John reminded him, quite needlessly he thought. 

"Gee, thanks for the reminder," Gordon huffed, trying to cross his arms although the cast and sling he was sporting prevented it. That just seemed to annoy him even more. 

"I can't do anything right now! How do you do it?" 

"Do what?" John asked, squinting through his magnifier at the small window frame he was carving from a piece of polymer clay. 

"Just sit around all day."

John raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "I don't sit around all day."

"OK, float around then. It's not like you're actively running around like the rest of us are."

"I'll pretend I never heard you say that," John scowled, wishing Selene had dumped his brother into the sea instead of into his quiet, peaceful room. 

"You're sitting around right now," Gordon pointed out, gesturing to the desk John was  sitting at, which was currently doing double duty as a work table for his latest project. 

"One day you'll learn to appreciate the benefits of a quiet, occupied mind and a still body," John told him. 

Gordon sighed, propping his good elbow on the desktop, his chin resting in his upturned palm as he watched his brother fiddling with tiny things that seemed utterly useless to him. 

"What are you even doing?" 

"Working on a series of book nooks for Sel's side of the bookcase," John answered, sounding slightly distracted as he measured the finished window against its place in an intricately carved brick wall. 

"Why?" 

"Because she likes them."

"I mean why are you making it? Can't you just buy her one? It's not like you can't afford it."

"Where's the challenge in that? Besides, things are always more special when you make them yourself."

Gordon yawned and leant forward to rest his head on the tabletop. 

"Do you want to help?" John offered, although honestly Gordon's version of helping was always patchy at best. 

Gordon scooted closer to look over John's shoulder, eyes darting over the rectangular box that he was building the nook inside. About the size of two thick books sandwiched together, the nook already had a little cobbled street and two shop fronts in place. The tabletop was scattered with a selection of impossibly tiny screwdrivers, picks, scalpels and other instruments of possible torture that he couldn't hope to name. 

"Pass," he announced decisively, flicking the control of his hoverchair so he spun in a wide circle, pointing to the door. "I'm out."

"Peace at last," John sighed, flicking his magnifier back into place over his right eye as he set aside the window to be baked later and reached for a fresh blob of clay. 

-x-

"What ya dooooooing?" Gordon yodelled, slamming the bedroom door open so hard that it smacked into the wall and shook several picture frames. He scooted his way into the room without even waiting for an invite. 

"Gordon!" John huffed, clutching his heart where it was trying to leap out of his chest from the shock of his brother’s sudden, and very noisy, entrance. 

"Hi, I got bored, thought I'd drop in on my favourite big brother," Gordon grinned as he glided his hoverchair closer. 

"Are Scott and Virgil busy?" John asked, that would be the only reason Gordon would have promoted him to his favourite. 

"Yes," Gordon admitted, "but that's not the reason why I'm here."

John turned his head to shoot him a raised eyebrow of doom, clearly communicating without words that he didn't believe him in the slightest. 

"So, what are you doing?" 

"Working on this book nook," John replied patiently, holding up the small cauldron he was crafting. 

"The same one?" 

"Yes."

Gordon’s eyes nearly fell out of his head, "Still? It’s been four days!"

"Yes," John hissed out, starting to get frustrated by the constant questions. 

"Why?" 

"Because it takes a long time. If you're going to do a project you should do it right."

"At the speed you're going it's gonna take forever," Gordon snorted, casting an assessing eye over the work John had already done. 

"That doesn't matter," John assured him. "It's not really about the time it takes or the end result, it's about the process, the journey to get there."

"Sounds lame to me," Gordon yawned. 

"Obviously," John drawled, rolling his eyes. 

"What do you mean by that?" Gordon demanded to know, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. 

"Because it's you."

"Hey! Rude."

"Accurate," John said, placing the little cauldron down and selecting another piece of clay which he placed on a ceramic tile. 

"Why?"

"Because it requires a calm mind. It's good to slow down sometimes and just be still."

"Says the console jockey." 

Console Jockey? He did not just say that!

"So you don't think my job is stressful? Or as tiring and important as yours?" John snapped, wondering if it was bad form to smack your injured brother around the head with a partially constructed book nook. He glanced at the nook, he had put a lot of work into it… It would be a shame to waste it. That thought alone saved Gordon. 

“Well, yeah I get that it might be a bit stressful, but it’s not like you have to do much that puts you in danger, not like us,” Gordon continued, digging his hole even deeper, a hole that John was looking forward to shoving him into.

“We all have our specialities, you couldn’t do your job without me doing mine,” John retorted, trying very hard not to let Gordon’s comments get to him. Gordon would never understand what it was like for him to be stuck so far away from the action, away from his brothers when things were going wrong. 

Gordon, thankfully for him, had been unconscious from the moment he had activated his emergency code. He hadn’t heard the frantic calls going out over the comms as the family mobilized to help him.  He hadn’t heard the desperate scramble as Thunderbirds took off, racing to the scene. But John had heard it all. 

John had been the one to stay on the line with Gordon, talking to him the entire time, knowing that he probably wouldn’t hear it but feeling that he needed to say it all the same. He wanted to know that if his little brother regained consciousness for even a second he would hear a familiar voice, that he would know that they were coming, that they would rescue him. He would know that he wasn’t alone.

 He knew what it was like for people that were in danger, knew the comfort they got from someone talking to them, listening to their stories, being there for them verbally if not physically. John was often the one that spent the most amount of time with those they rescued, keeping their spirits up as much as possible until his brothers got there. 

His brothers were seen by their rescuees as the real heroes, the ones that leapt in and plucked them out of danger, but John was the one that got them that help, the one that made sure the rescue played out as best it could, liaising and coordinating until the job was done. But Virgil, Scott, Gordon and Alan were the ones that got the thanks , the ones that got the hugs after they dropped their charges off, not John. 

Not that he minded too much, he knew that his job was just as important as theirs, maybe even more so because, when someone put out that call for help, when they sent their desperate plea out into the world, they deserved to know that someone would always be listening out for it, that someone would hear and that help would come.

He knew all of this, and he knew that Gordon did too, it was just the frustration of inactivity that was making him say the things that he was. John just wished that that knowledge made it easier to listen to. 

“I might not be doing the physical rescuing,” John continued, feeling the need to push his point home. “But I work just as hard, when you’re home you’re off duty until a call comes in, you can relax, swim, watch movies and laze around until you’re needed. When I’m up there I’m on duty 24/7 and even when I do manage to catch some sleep it’s not deep or particularly restful. Any little noise, any call that triggers the system's keyword algorithm gets transferred automatically, I have to go from asleep to awake in seconds to take it.”

Gordon was quiet for once, watching him closely. John didn’t like it, it made him feel like an exhibit in a zoo. And here we have the little seen Tracy, see how he stays inside his hide and hardly ever ventures out… he knew how they saw him, why they likely thought he had the easy job. 

“These help, they give me something else to focus on. I need to keep my mind active and challenged while still trying to relax.” John paused, trying to think of a way to explain his thinking that Gordon might understand. 

“These are almost like a meditation,” he started. Gordon understood meditation and finding your zone. “Creating something out of almost nothing. It keeps my mind focused, helps with finger dexterity and hand eye coordination with the added bonus of it relaxing me. It’s good to slow down and take some time to do something creative, you should try it some time.” 

Gordon listened to his brother and he tried to take in all his words, he tried to understand the meaning behind them, he really did, but it just didn’t make any sense to him. He understood about wanting to be lazy, to sit around and do nothing sometimes. He loved to laze on the couch with his snackies and an Into the Unknown marathon playing out on the holoscreen, but that was watching something exciting, interesting, to him that was relaxing. This...whatever it was that John was actually doing, made no sense whatsoever to him. The idea of trying to relax by actually thinking...that was the most alien concept of all. 

Gordon knew, probably better than his family gave him credit for, what it was like to be mislabelled. Within every sibling pool, there were the mandatory roles: the serious one, the caring one, the smart one, the funny one, the calm one, the angry one, the one who sang in the shower, et cetera. He’d proudly embraced the role of ‘the funny one’, and had diligently flown the flag for the humour camp for as long as he could remember. If a brother came home from a rescue in a slump and needed a cheery pick-me-up, it was Gordon who stepped up to the task, irrespective of his own mood. His smile and laugh were infectious, and he had yet to encounter a frown he couldn’t (eventually) turn upside down.

But with every ‘role’ came misconceptions. Scott was serious, therefore people were quick to automatically assume that he was a killjoy.  Similarly, John’s intellect and preference for solitude often went hand in hand with him being branded antisocial, since there was apparently no possible way someone could enjoy their own company so much, yet still pursue and maintain meaningful relationships with actual people.

Gordon was no stranger to this treatment. He liked to laugh and be spontaneous, and consequently, was often regarded as the Tracy who didn’t take his work seriously, the Tracy who had the attention span of a gnat (albeit a very handsome one), and the Tracy who couldn’t be trusted with anything that required delicacy, be it physical or emotional. His affinity for making people laugh, though an exceptional quality, frequently acted as a double-edged sword. On the one hand, his relentless optimism made him the most effective of the bunch when it came to emergencies involving children and young adults. On the other hand, it sentenced him to a fate where the bad jokes he cracked would always be two steps ahead of the secret deep thinker that lay within.

“Let me see it again,” Gordon sighed, trying his best to be a supportive and understanding brother, since he did feel a little bad about the things he had just said. He hadn’t meant to say them, they had just come out. That was the trouble with being laid up from an injury, not only were you out of action but you were in pain, and pain made you grumpy and less likely to monitor the things that came out of your mouth the way you should.

He knew that John worked hard, hell he knew that what his brother had said was right, John was never truly off duty. They were all aware that he didn’t get enough sleep, enough down time, enough time to relax and just be. They knew that if John was on Five he would consider himself on duty, at work, and therefore he’d never allow himself to take time out. Things had changed since Selene had blundered her way into his life, now he spent a lot more time on the Island, which meant that he was finally taking some time out for himself. If one of the ways he chose to do that was by crafting ridiculously tiny things out of clay to stick in a hollowed out box that was his business. Gordon wasn’t there to judge, he was there to spend time with his brother.

John moved aside a little so Gordon could get a closer look, trying to resist the urge to smack his hand away every time Gordon reached for a tiny piece that had taken him hours to perfect. 

“These are really small,” Gordon mused, poking at a window that John had just finished painting, leaving behind a smudged fingerprint. “Woops, sorry, Bro.”

“Maybe you should try making something of your own,“ John suggested, carefully removing the window from his brother's possession and picking up a brush in order to attempt a fix.

Gordon nodded and John passed him a ceramic tile and a miniature rolling pin. 

“How about you try cutting me out a few shop sign bases?” John suggested.

“Do I get one of those scalpel things?” Gordon asked, a little too eagerly for John’s liking.

“Maybe we can work up to that,” John hedged, subtly moving the scalpel out of his brother’s reach and passing him a square cookie cutter. “Use this cutter for now.”

Gordon shrugged and spent a few minutes rolling and squishing the clay trying to get the thickness to the exact measurement that John insisted on. It wasn’t easy or fun.

“Nope!” Gordon announced, giving up and pushing the tile away. “It’s still boring. Pass.”

He swung his hoverchair around and headed in the direction of the door. “Later, Bro.”

“Oh...OK...later, I guess,” John stuttered, wondering just what he had done to deserve such a chaotic family as his.

“Oh, hey, boo, where are you go- WAHH!”

John’s head shot up as Selene’s yelp rang out from the hallway.

“Sorry!” 

“So you should be, you little shit,” she grumbled to his retreating back as she thumped into the room.

“What happened, love?”

“Let’s just say that if his chair had wheels I’d have lost a few toes,” she said, wincing in imagined pain. 

John scooted his desk chair back and patted his lap in offer, one that she happily accepted.

“So, why was Gordy doing his boy racer bit? What did you say to him?”

“Me? What makes you think I said anything to him?”

“Because I know you two?” 

“Fair,” he sighed, sliding his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. “I don’t know what to do to help him.”

Selene turned her head to look at him, not liking the helpless look on his face.

“Babe, you are helping him, you’re there to keep him company or talk to him if he needs it, that’s more important than anything. What happened to make you think that you weren’t helping?”

“He was asking me about these again,” John nodded towards his work area on the desktop. “But he didn’t seem to understand, that or he just didn’t want to.”

“He’s Gordon,” she sighed. “You know what he’s like, he’s full on, he’s in your face and he’s not at all subtle. Taking his time with things just doesn’t compute with him.”

“It would do him good though, if he doesn’t learn to embrace it he’ll be exactly the same as he was last time.”

“Was he really that bad?” she asked, concern lacing her voice. 

John nodded. “He doesn’t do inactivity well. When he had his hydrofoil accident his therapist talked him into signing up for a virtual college degree in Environmental Management of Rivers and Wetlands. It was supposed to take him at least a year as a part time course with ANU in Canberra, but he blew through it in the first semester and earned himself a distinction for his insights on the impact of Anthropogenic Noise on Wetland Habitats. His professor was so impressed he offered him a fully funded PhD, citing his time with WASP and the time he spent in the bathyscaphe as practical experience that would make up for his lack of degree. Obviously he turned it down, but he still likes to rub our faces in it now and then.”

“Wow,” Selene breathed. “Forget his professor being impressed, I’m impressed.”

“He has a phenomenal brain,” John said, a small but very proud smile on his face. “When he actually decides to use it to its full potential, that is. There is nothing he can't do when he chooses to focus on something, he’s all in. It really helped him to feel like he was gaining something and moving forward even though he was sitting still.”

Selene nodded, understanding completely. She knew that all of her boys were wicked smart, but Gordon always presented himself as the least academic. He was more of a doer, wanting to be out in the field, learning as he went, diving in head first to every situation. 

But as Selene and John both knew, appearances could be deceiving.

“If that’s what helped him last time, then we need to find a way to convince him to try something new,” Selene insisted. 

“I tried, he’s not interested.”

“That was with your things, babe. We need to find something that’s a little more him, and I think I know just the thing.”

-x-

“I have arrived!” Gordon yodelled, announcing his entrance in his own unique way. He slid his hover chair in through the open door like the boss that he was, bringing his shining presence in to brighten up his middle brother's obviously dull existence. “Didja miss me?”

“Like a hole in the head,” John grumbled, turning to look at the grinning face of his brother. His eyes immediately began to water as they were assaulted by the far too bright colours of the shirt Gordon was wearing, a tie dyed monstrosity that Selene had made for him for his birthday. 

“A little more gratitude, if you please," Gordon huffed. 

“Grandma finally released you?”

“Yep,” Gordon stretched out his injured leg and patted the air cast on his now slingless arm. “Got time off for good behaviour.”

“I find that hard to believe,” John teased, then nodded to Gordon’s arm. “How’s it feeling?”

“Not too bad, my grip still isn't great but Grandma promised me that once the bone has finished knitting I’ll just need to exercise it and build the muscle strength up, then it’ll be as good as new.”

“That’s great, it won't be long before you're able to go back out with Virgil and stop, how did Sel put it, 'haunting the house like the ghost of Christmas future'?"

"Can't come soon enough," Gordon sighed, butting his chair right up close to John's, knocking his arm in the process. "What you do- you're still doing that? Still? It's been a week!" 

"It's not like I get a huge amount of down time," John pointed out. "I'm only here now because Sel said she'd dump me if I didn't make an effort to come down earlier in the evenings so I could actually eat a meal with you all."

"You actually believed that threat?" Gordon laughed. 

"Of course not, she'd never dump me, but I thought I had better humour her and let her feel like she at least had a little sway," John shrugged, pushing aside the little piece of doorstep he had been painting. "Honestly, it's nice to come down for a meal and family time, I hadn't realised how much I'd missed it until it was happening again."

"I guess we all got a bit too caught up in International Rescue after we lost Dad," Gordon admitted. 

"Like we had nothing else in our lives," John nodded, completely understanding. 

"Yep."

Gordon fell silent and John let him, concentrating on mixing the perfect colour acrylic to add a few highlights to his stones. 

"Can I have a go at making something? I bet I could do it quicker than you," Gordon asked, reaching towards what Selene called the sharps tub. John smacked the lid down on it just in time. 

"Actually, we got you a present."

"You did?" Instantly distracted, Gordon sat up straighter, excited by the prospect of a gift. "What did you get me?" 

This," John answered, opening his desk drawer and extracting an interestingly shaped bottle, upright with a thicker, rounded bottom and a thinner neck, ending a cork stopper. 

"Wow, is that an original?" Gordon asked, taking the bottle carefully and turning it to  study it from all angles. He knew exactly what this shaped bottle was, there had been a collection of them in Commander Shore’s office that he would stare at every time he got called in for some reprimand or another.

"19th century," John nodded. "Sel found it in a little shop in Mayfair. They assured her it was a genuine, used on a ship, captain's decanter from around the time of the civil war. They hadn’t fully traced it when Sel bought it but they think it came from one of the ships that fought in one of the smaller skirmishes around 1861.”

“This is really cool, thanks,” Gordon smiled, still turning the bottle over and over.

“It’s to hold this,” John continued, drawing Gordon’s attention back to him.

Grinning, John delved back into his desk drawer and pulled out a rather faded and quite dusty box. He brushed the dirt off the top and slid it over to Gordon. 

"A ship?" Gordon frowned. 

"Yep, Selene and I thought that you needed a little project of your own, so she had the idea to get you a ship in a bottle. You don’t see them a lot these days, but apparently her Grandfather had a couple and they always fascinated her.”

“So you put the ship in the bottle?”

“Yep, instructions are inside, go nuts.”

“Pfft, instructions,” Gordon snorted. “No one needs instructions, they’re a waste of time.”

-x-

“Ouch,” John hissed, hopping in place on one foot as he bent down to pick up what looked to be a tiny piece of mast that had attacked the sole of his foot. “Gordon, why are there bits of ship all over my floor?”

“Because I dropped them,” Gordon replied, his voice muffled due to the tongue of concentration that was peeking out from between his teeth.

Huffing, John gathered all the pieces off the floor, both pieces of ship and bits that they had been cut out of, and deposited them on the desk next to Gordon.

“How’s it coming along?” John asked, settling in his own chair. He’d only been gone a day but Gordon had managed to take over the entire bedroom, spreading his belongings, bottles, snack wrappers, his phone and a discarded hoodie, all over the place, as well as half the contents of the vintage ship box.

“It’s ridiculous. I think it’s missing pieces or something, it’s broken.”

“Well it was an old kit, but we were assured that it was complete,” John frowned, sliding the tray over that Gordon was supposed to be storing all the pieces in. “Have you checked the contents list and matched each piece to make sure they’re all there?”

Gordon looked at him blankly, like he was talking a foreign language.

“Did you check that everything was there before you started?" John elaborated.

“Of course I did,” Gordon promised, crossing his fingers and hoping his brother didn’t see. 

“Against the list?” John clarified.

“I eyeballed it, OK?”

“Not good enough,” John insisted. “That’s not how you go about doing things like this, you can’t just slap them together and hope for the best.”

“Why not?” Gordon whined. It worked for him in almost everything else he did in life. 

“Because this happens," John gestured to the mess surrounding them.

“Fine, I’ll read the damn instructions.”

Leaving Gordon to it John slid his almost completed book nook over and picked up his paintbrush to start adding some finishing touches before he started on the wiring for the lights. He’d barely done more than five minutes when Gordon started huffing.

John waited a little longer, trying his hardest to ignore the ever increasing sounds of frustration and impatience from his brother. In the end he couldn't stand it a moment longer, he had to ask the most loaded question ever.

“What’s the problem?” John asked, pushing his own work aside.

“These instructions don’t make sense,” Gordon bitched, flapping the paper in John’s face. “Look at the little picture here, you have to stick this little pole into that hole in the deck but the deck doesn’t want to stay together and that piece there keeps sliding and the pictures make no sense.”

“That’s because you missed around eight steps in between,” John told him, praying for patience. 

“No I didn't, I followed the pictures exactly,” Gordon insisted. 

“The steps aren’t in the pictures,” John explained. “See right there?” he pointed to the words above the pictures. “The pictures are a diagram of each finished stage, not how to get there. They are for reference only, not instructions.”

“Urghhh, this is going to take forever,” Gordon pouted, crossing his arms. “What’s the point?”

“The point is that by the end of it you’ll have something unique that no one else does, something you can be proud of and know that you built with your own two hands.”

“I’m not sure it’s worth the effort,” Gordon muttered.

“It is,” John promised. “I’ll help. How about I read out the instructions and you follow along? We’ll get through it quicker that way.”

Gordon wasn’t convinced, but John looked so hopeful that he didn’t have the heart to refuse him, especially since he and Selene had gone to so much trouble to get the things for him in the first place. He might be a miserable little sod, but he wasn’t that ungrateful. He knew that they had gone out of their way to get something they thought he’d like, the least he could do was make the thing, even if he knew he wouldn’t enjoy it. Maybe John was right, working together they could get through it quicker, and that could only be a good thing.

“Alright,” Gordon agreed, “let’s give it a go.”

Slowly, methodically, John read out each piece that was needed and Gordon located them, storing them neatly in a wooden box that Selene provided when she popped in to bring them drinks an hour or so later. She stayed just long enough to steal a kiss from John and drop one on the top of Gordon’s head before she beat a hasty retreat, not wanting to get roped into helping. She wasn’t the best at following instructions and didn’t want to get grumped at.

By the time they had all the pieces checked and catalogued they had discovered there were indeed two pieces missing, but thankfully they were easy fixes, just a small , round piece of wood to represent a porthole, which they could easily make a replacement for and a piece of mast. One snipped toothpick later and that was sorted too.

John started with the first set of instructions, reading them out patiently as Gordon found and fitted them together. 

“So, how’s work been?” Gordon asked, like a chatty hairstylist, as he carefully dipped the end of a thin dowel into a small pot of wood glue. 

“Same as ever,” John deadpanned, “a bunch of idiots that got themselves into trouble and needed help, and only half of them related to us.”

Gordon sniggered, glancing at John, seeing the sly smile on his brother’s face. He’d forgotten just how amusing John could be when he delivered something sarcastically witty with such a serious tone. Gordon hadn’t realised how much he’d missed it, wondering just what his more serious brother would come out with next. John was always like that, he seemed so quiet and reserved but, when he was relaxed and in company he was comfortable with he’d take you by surprise by letting loose a zinger that you couldn’t help but laugh at.

“Let’s not talk about work,” Gordon suggested, “we haven’t hung out properly in ages, you’re either up in Five or there are other people around.”

“Is that your way of saying you’ve missed me?” John teased.

“Maybe,” Gordon allowed, “but if you ever tell anyone I said that I’ll deny it and tell Grandma you want her to make your birthday cake this year.”

John held his hands up in surrender, although he couldn’t hold in the laugh that bubbled up as he reached for the instructions again.

“OK, let’s get this done before we stop enjoying each other’s company.”

They worked slowly but steadily over the next few hours, putting together the structure for the first mast. Once it was done they called it quits and abandoned it for another day, the smell of something tasty coming from the kitchen proving to be too much to ignore.

-x-

 “Gordon, that’s my finger.”

“Oh, sorry, can you just like… I don’t know, yank it off?”

“If I wish to leave half my identifying fingerprints behind, yes.”

“Do you really need them?”

John didn’t dignify that with an answer, the look he threw at his brother communicated his thoughts perfectly. 

“OK, OK, I’ll get some dissolver from Virgil’s studio, wait right there,” Gordon instructed him, grabbing his crutches and hobbling his way out of the room. 

John sighed, keeping his hand perfectly still, the hull of the boat dangling from his fingertip. He was still there five minutes later when Gordon clumped his way back in, Selene hot on his heels. She had the glue dissolver under one arm, a large bag of chips under the other and a plate of sandwiches in each hand. 

She dumped the plates on the desk, then the chips, before turning to see the state her fiancé was in.

“Do I even want to know?” 

“Probably not,” Gordon winced, dropping down into his abandoned desk chair and reaching for a plate.

“Can you at least help me before you start stuffing your face?” John asked, waggling his hand, which made the boat sway violently from side to side.

“Can’t, eating,” Gordon mumbled around the massive mouthful he had just taken.

“What did I say?” she demanded to know. “No hurting the hands, you know how I feel about that.” 

John wiggled his fingers again, drawing her attention to his plight. He looked so pathetic with the half built little ship swinging from his hand that Selene took pity on him, intervening when he looked like he was about to grab the thing and yank it off himself, fingerprints be damned.

“Oh for the love of the Gods, let me do it!” Taking his hand she used a paintbrush to smear glue dissolver around the area of skin it was stuck to. She took her time, rewetting and using the brush bristles to push the dissolver under the boat, trying to  ease it free from his skin with minimal pulling.

“Thank you,” he sighed, sitting patiently while she worked. Thankfully it didn’t take her too long, although it took a lot of cursing under her breath and the odd ouch from him to get there. 

“One boat,” she announced, placing it triumphantly on the desk. 

“Fanks,” Gordon said, spraying chip crumbs as he did so.

“Welcome,” she said, brushing at her leg which had unfortunately been in splatter range. Still holding John’s hand she bestowed a kiss to each of his abused digits before releasing him. 

“Right, I’m out of here. Play nicely, you two, I don’t want to have to send Grandma in to babysit you both.”

“It won’t come to that,” John assured her, reaching for his own sandwich. “We’ve not got much left to do now. We just have to attach the rigging to the masts, check that they fold properly then insert th-”

“I’m out, I don’t need to hear anything about insertion, not after you just glued a boat to your hand,” Selene declared, her exit swift and to the point, the door shutting firmly behind her.

“She has a point,” Gordon admitted, swallowing his last bite. He pushed the chip bag in John’s direction, although there was barely more than a handful and a few crumbs left in it. 

“But we’ll never admit it to her face,” John insisted, steadily munching through the large sub she had brought for him. 

“Never,” Gordon agreed. 

-x- 

Gordon sighed dramatically as he crutched his way down the hall from his bedroom. John’s bedroom door was open but his brother wasn’t inside. The ship, now fully rigged, sat beside the bottle on the desk, just waiting to be placed inside once some sand had been poured in as a base. Gordon had chosen all different shades of blue to represent the sea and had even watched a few videos on how to do sand pouring art, something he’d never expected to find even remotely interesting, yet he couldn’t bring himself to go in and make a start on it.

John had barely been home the past week and when he had it had only been for food and enforced sleep. Even then he had been known to sneak out of bed the second Selene was asleep, being discovered on numerous occasions sitting at their father’s desk until the small hours working on this, that or the other. 

Emergencies, and therefore the need for their services, had seemed to increase three fold, something Selene was blaming on the moon phase and mercury going retrograde and, for want of a better explanation, they were all inclined to agree. There was no rhyme or reason for the surge in idiots that were calling in at all hours of the day and night with trucks caught under a too low bridge causing a pile up, hands stuck down toilets, drunks climbing to the top of electricity pylons and repair men getting trapped inside ATM machines they had been fixing.

His brothers had been on the go near constantly, whether it was from rescue call outs or working on their plan to find their father,  but none more so than John. While Selene had always been good at what she liked to call Tracy Wrangling, none more so that when she was dealing with a stressed out Scott, even she had admitted defeat and left them to their own devices. Self preservation was key after all. 

John had been dealing with not only rescue calls and Chaos Crew sightings, but signal tracking, GDF liaising and general hoop jumping, all of which had kept him far too busy.

It had been over a week since they had done anything to their project and Gordon was feeling the loss. Not so much of the project, although that really had helped with his frustrations at his lack of physical ability, not that he would ever admit that to John, but in spending time with his brother.

Much to his surprise he’d found that he was reluctant to work on it alone, it had become their thing to do together. It was a time where they would hang out, shoot the shit, reminisce about childhood memories, times that they had spent together talking about their hope for the future where they would find their father alive and bring him home.

Both of them knew that it wouldn’t be easy, that if they did manage to find him there would be no telling what physical or mental state he would be in. Gordon knew from experience just how tough physical injury, limitations, and recovery could be on the mind and the body,  especially in someone who had been as active and viril as Jeff Tracy. 

They all knew, although no one seemed to want to talk about it, that as hard as it was going to be to actually locate him and hopefully bring him home, that would only be the beginning of what could potentially be an incredibly long and difficult journey of rehabilitation and reintegration into the family and the world as a whole. 

John had been right, taking some time to be quiet, to slow down and think while keeping your mind and hands busy really was a productive way to spend your rest hours and, stupid as it sounded, Gordon didn’t really want that to end. 

He was only a week or two away from potential cast removal and a return to physical activities like his beloved swimming and strength training in their home gym and, while he couldn’t wait to get back to it, he knew he’d feel the loss of his enforced quiet time. 

He glanced again at the abandoned ship on the desk and turned away, clumping down the hall towards the stairs. So it would take them a little longer to get it finished, Gordon was fine with that because for once he wasn’t feeling the need to rush.

-x-

“Remember to pour it slowly,” Gordon instructed as he held the funnel in place, its long pipe reaching right down into the bottom of the jar. “Start with the darkest one, that’s going to be our base colour.”

“I’ve got it,” John assured him, selecting the tub of midnight blue sand and scooping some out into a smaller pot to make things easier. At Gordon’s nod he began to slowly and steadily pour the sand into the open neck of the funnel. As he watched Gordon expertly directed the tube, allowing the sand to pour out to pool in the bottom of the bottle.

At Gordon’s signal John stopped pouring and waited while Gordon carefully removed the tube and used a long metal skewer to poke and prod the sand into something that looked vaguely like waves.

“The next colour up,” Gordon requested and John did as he was asked. They repeated the process four more times with different shades of blue, John pouring in a little at a time, Gordon directing the tube to deposit  more in one place than others, mimicking the movement of sea waves as best they could. In between each layer Gordon used the skewer to poke and mix the colours here and there, blending the layers into a smoother transition.

“That’ll do,” Gordon said confidently, twisting the bottle so John could see the full effect. 

John had to admit that he had been pleasantly surprised when Gordon had announced that he had ordered some coloured sand and looked up how to do sand art on the internet. He hadn’t really known what to expect, although he would admit, if only to himself, that he had thought that Gordon would be a little heavy handed and impatient, but once again he had proved him wrong. He really had done his research and the result was a beautiful mix of colours that really did give a perfect impression of a gently moving sea.

“That’s looking great.”

“I know,” Gordon grinned, modest as always. “Where’s that resin gone?”

“Here,” John answered, pushing it across the desk towards his brother. “Make sure you read the instructions and measure the amounts accurately or it won’t set and you’ll ruin the sand and the bottle.”

“Yeah, yeah I got this,” Gordon assured him as he did indeed read the instructions through properly. Once he had familiarised himself with the ratio of resin to hardener, he measured carefully and poured them into a mixing jug. Once it was fully mixed he slowly, gently, poured the mixture a little at a time into the bottle on top of the sand. With each little pour he waited for the resin to trickle down between the grains, slowly adding to it until all the sand was covered. 

“And now we wait,” John said, carefully placing the bottle in the patch of bright sunlight coming in through the window. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Gordon offered casually, not really expecting his brother to agree. John hardly ever watched anything with just him, they had vastly different tastes in movies and John usually made some polite excuse to escape.

“Sure, sounds good.”

“Really?” Gordon goggled, his eyes almost falling out of his head. “You don’t have anything more important to do?”

“More important than watching a movie with my little brother? I don’t think so,” John grinned, retrieving Gordon’s crutches from where they were leaning against his bookshelf and tossing them to him one by one. “Come on, last one to the lounge picks the movie.”

“Hey, no fair!” Gordon yelled, scrambling to his feet as he fumbled with his crutches. “You’ve got legs like a giraffe and neither of them are broken!”

“Sucks to be you,” John tossed over his shoulder as he took off down the hall to victory.

-x-

“Careful,” John warned.

“I am being careful,” Gordon snapped. “I got this.”

“Your hand’s shaking.”

“Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.” He steadied his, only slightly shaky, hand by propping his elbow on the desk for stability. “OK, let’s do this.”

They both held their breath as Gordon maneuvered the body of the boat through the opening in the bottle, making sure each sail stayed carefully folded down and the strings remained untangled before he fed it down the neck and into the bottle.

“Phase one, complete,” John intoned in such a serious voice that Gordon couldn’t help the laugh that he snorted out.

“Pass me those long nosed tweezers?” Gordon asked, holding out a hand.

John slapped the requested instrument into his brother's hand like a nurse in an operating theater, provoking another burst of laughter.

“Thanks.” 

“Welcome.”

Making sure the strings of the sails were still dangling outside of the bottle, Gordon carefully moved the body of the boat further down into the bottle with the metal skewer until the stern touched the top of the resin and sand layer. 

“Now the sails,” Gordon whispered, hardly daring to breathe as John moved in to help, taking over the holding of the strings while Gordon reached in with the tweezers.

Gently, working together, they started the delicate process of tugging gently on each string, unfolding the paper sails and locking them in place.

“String one.”

“Got it. Watch number four sail.”

“Yep, thanks...OK… can you just give string five a little pull? Perfect.”

“Sail three is flopping!”

“Gah, hang on, just got to tighten that...yep that’s got it.”

“Maybe if I gather…”

“Yep, that’s good, do that again.”

“This next bit is going to require a delicate touch, maybe I should-”

“Hey! I can be delicate!”

“It’s not coming up...back sail two is stuck, release it...careful!”

“There, saved it.”

John gently pulled the strings a little more and there it was, their ship, sails proudly upright and everything. He kept hold of the strings, while Gordon held on to the boat with the tweezers as they carefully lifted the bottle from its side to its proper upright position.

Using the skewer John maneuvered around Gordon’s hand and nudged the boat into a better position before he carefully released the strings. They both held their breath, hoping and praying that the sails wouldn't collapse the second the strings fell. 

The boat, with its sails, stayed strong.

“Yes!” Gordon cheered, holding up his free hand for a high five, grinning when his brother’s palm smacked against his own.

“Scalpel,” Gordon joked as John handed it to him so they could lop off a little of the trailing strings. Then, using the skewer, they arranged the strings around the edges of the boat. 

With the boat finally upright and in place, they added another layer of light blue coloured sand with a sprinkling of white to mimic the tips of the waves. They finished it off by pouring in a little more resin, both to set the sand and hold the boat in place, using the tweezers to make sure it was correctly positioned.

“Phew,” Gordon breathed, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his cast covered leg. “We did it. Go team.”

“We did,” John smiled. “And it looks damn good.”

“It really does,” Gordon agreed, shifting his head to look at the bottle from all angles. 

“Nothing left to do but let it dry and put the stopper in,” John said. “How do you feel now it’s done? Was it worth the time?”

“I still think we could have done it a lot faster if you’d just let me skip a few steps in the instructions and do it my way, but it wasn’t that bad,” Gordon admitted. “I’m oddly proud of it.”

“You should be, you did good,” John leant back in his chair, crossing his arms as he relaxed. “Are you going to stop teasing me about my book nooks now?”

“Pssh, no,” Gordon snorted. “Ships are cool, yours will always be boring.”

He didn’t see the bottle of water coming until it was too late.

-x-

Gordon walked straight to John’s room from the infirmary,  feeling oddly free without his crutches and casts. Six weeks was a long time, after all.

The bottle with its little ship sat exactly where they had left it in the center of John’s desk next to the abandoned book nook that was still not finished. It took him very little time to insert the cork stopper and pour a little of Selene’s spell bottle sealing wax around the top, a bright, cheery yellow wax that matched his beloved Thunderbird Four.

He smiled as he thought of his little craft, waiting down in her dock for him, ready to be taken out when the next call came in. It had been a long and frustrating time but finally, blessedly, that time was over.

He poked an experimental finger into the wax seal, checking that it had set properly. It had, and he couldn’t help feeling a little sad about it. It had been a project that at first he’d had very little interest in, but slowly it had turned into so much more. Not just something to wile away a few hours but a chance for him to reconnect with the brother he spent the least amount of time with. 

Years ago, back when he had been small, John had been his everything. When Alan had been too tiny to be of any use and Scott and Virgil had been too old to be bothered with him hanging around, it had been John that had been there for him. It was John that had patiently listened as he read aloud from his sealife books, who had watched movies with him, played with him, and spent the most amount of time with him. Back then, their three year age difference had seemed like so little but so much at the same time, an older brother that made him feel wanted and included when the other two saw him as an annoyance.

Gordon couldn’t quite put his finger on when things had changed, when they had slowly drifted apart. John had seemed to grow up so much faster than he had, Alan had welded himself to his side, looking up to Gordon as he had to John  and things had never been the same again. 

It had been too long since they had been able to just hang out, to laugh, to tease each other without things going too far and one of them getting annoyed. It had been nice and Gordon had realised that he didn’t want to go back to nothing but hollocalls to Five when an emergency came in or the odd family dinner and movie night where he had to share with the rest of the family. John was the only brother that Gordon didn’t spend one on one time with as standard and he realised that, no matter how much he might blame it on John being so far away, in reality it was as much his fault as John’s.

Gordon picked up the bottle, leaving a box in its place. The model kit of the Mercury Project space capsule and its launch pad had been hard to find even with his junker contacts. In fact, he had almost given up and  admitted defeat before he'd thought to look at the label on his ship box and sent the shop owner an email.

Smiling to himself, knowing that there was no way John would be able to resist that challenge, he took the finished bottle, with its little ship, to his room where it would take pride of place on his bookshelf, a constant reminder that even in the worst of times, positivity could still be found.

“Thanks, Bro.”

[leviathan-says-hi]

Ask 21 / Tag 21

Answer 21 questions then tag 21 people you’d like to know a little better. Tagged by @fahrenflame Hope you're doing well! 😊

× Nickname ×

Levi, I guess? Not too many nicknames, most people think my actual name's bizarre enough and just go with that 😅

× Real name ×

Leviathan

× Zodiac ×

Pieces 🐳

× Height ×

Uhhhh...like 5.7"-5.8" ish??? Maybe???

× What time is it? ×

13:03

× Favorite musician ×

Marilyn Manson, Ghost, My Chemical Romance...idk honestly. I don't really listen to whole artists anymore, I just find random songs I like by all different people and throw them in a huge playlist, so most of my 'favourites' I literally know like 1 song by ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whoops. Individual songs I've been enjoying lately though are:

° Nightmares - Easy Life (hence the recent animation lol)

° The Bidding - Tally Hall

° Boys Will Be Bugs - Cavetown

° Carnal Carnival - Here Come The Mummies

× Favorite sports team ×

Ngh...not so much a sports person ngl, but my dad gave me his Oakland Raiders baseball jacket he had as a kid and I wear that a bunch so er...go Raiders?

× Other blogs ×

Oh god I have a whole bunch. I have the really bad habit of making a new one everytime I get wrapped up in something then kinda abandoning it...I'm probably most active on my Ghost one @cardinal-cornucopia

× Do I get asks? ×

Nah, not so much

× How many blogs do I follow? ×

Christ, like...4,000 I think. I've been here a while, what can I say 😅

× Any tumblr crushes? ×

Eh, more so admiration than crushes, but there's a few people who are pretty rad, yeah

× Lucky number ×

13! 6 is pretty chill too

× What am I wearing right now? ×

Having a slouchy day revising for uni stuff, so grey sweatpants and my Unus Annus shirt 👍 Comf

(Quick side note, imma be pretty busy until the start of February when the new semester kicks in / spring exams are over, so hopefully I can start back up drawing/animating then!)

× Dream vacation ×

Maybe a road trip? I'm not really one for travel but a long, chilled-out drive to nowhere sounds really good rn

× Dream car ×

Welp, my sucky health means I would be considered the biggest of liabilities on the road so was basically told it's not even worth getting my licence 😅 BUT teenage me was really into motorbikes and was actually saving for a Suzuki GN125 👌

× Favorite food ×

Probably mac n cheese? Any form of instant noodle/pasta that can be microwaved at 3am between assignments. University broke me, what can I say

× Drink of choice ×

Blue raspberry jolly rancher soda / Pink grapefruit Fanta / Vanilla coke are my sugary weaknesses, but I also really love weird tea flavours like strawberry cupcake green tea and pineapple with grapefruit!

× Languages ×

English...barely 😅 Tried learning Russian but got sick so had to stop. Brain don't work so good ✌️ Think I still rember the alphabet/1-10 though!

× Instruments ×

Okay, okay so like, hear me out...I play banjolele. Well? No. Enthusiastically? Very! For anyone who doesn't know it's like the ungodly amalgamation of a banjo and ukulele and I love it to death. I also have a full sized banjo and ukulele not smushed together too so I guess they count separately too? But yeah, banjolele's my main squeeze 🖤

× Celebrity crushes ×

🤫

× Random fact ×

I've got a few months of neuroscience left before I should get my psychology degree, and I've been (unofficially, shh!) invited to stay on and complete a masters degree in research methods! Whoo 🎉🎊✨ Sounds boring, I know, but my academic dream would be a PhD in evolutionary psychology/neuroscience soooo...Slowly, slowly doing the thing 👍

× Tagging ×

Been out of the loop for a while so no idea who's done this already or not, sorry!

@pierlerett

@cardicishot

@markipliersin89

@nameless-jinx

@haunted-kazoo

@goodboysatan

@copias-caboose

[wongguk]

12 (because I'm about to go to college) or 30 (because my friends and I actually put that in the request bar once) You pick whichever monsta x member you'd ship me with.

Thank you for the request I tried to melt the two request into one and slightly changing it if it’s okay. I hope you will like it~ 💖

12. College roommates au30. I put “send your cutest delivery driver” in the special instructions every time and your manager always picks you. at first you were annoyed but now you’re concerned that my diet is pretty much 70% pizza and offer (threaten) to make me real dinner AU

Pairing: Pizza boy!Hyungwon x College student!ReaderWord count: 2,711

“Y/NNNNNNNNN!” Your roommate excitedly bursts through the door waving a stack of exam papers in one hand. “I passed all of my exams which means we should celebrate, which means we should go out!” He says as he throws the papers away. 

“That’s really great Minhyuk! But as you see�� I am still preparing for my exam.” You sigh motioning towards the scattered revision papers around you with empty cans of energy drinks and empty cups of coffee ready to pull an all-nighter the third time in a row. 

“But that is no fun.” He huffs and slumps down on the couch next to you. “If you stay inside forever you will waste the fun part of college.” He says and elbows your side.

“Yeah? And what is that cause so far I only see exam after exam and sleep deprivation.” You sigh letting out the exhaustion that has been piling up in you since the beginning of the semester. You hate to admit but Minhyuk was right. You spent most of your time inside on your couch studying the night away or binge watching your favorite shows as a relaxation. You aren’t sure that at that point when was the last time you saw sunlight other than commuting between your dorm and college.

“Well…” He says and jumps on the small coffee table stepping on a few of your revision papers. “…The freedom, the parties and the love life.” He says with dramatic hand movements and you can’t help but giggle a little at him. “I advise you should start exploring, today!” He says smiling down at you happily, a charming smile which is difficult to resist.

“I am sorry.” You murmur shaking your head and Minhyuk sighs dramatically while sitting back down next to you. “I guess you will have to go to party alone.”

“That’s okay…” He says trying to reassure you. “But I wanted to be your wing man! I was born for this role but with you never going out? You make my task more difficult.” He shakes his head and you roll your eyes.

“I told you! I don’t need anyone! I am busy at the moment I don’t need cupid Minhyuk in my life right now.” You giggle softly.

“Well obviously you would say that.” He rolls his eyes this time while turning towards you. “At least let me order you some food! I assume you haven’t eaten all day.” He says taking your laptop from your lap. You try to retort but your growing hunger tells you to stay still. You decide to refill your cup of coffee while your angelic roommate works on the food. When you return he has a winning smile on his face.

“What did you do?” You ask immediately out of suspicion. 

“I ordered pizza? What else would I do?” He asks defending himself. Suddenly, he jumps onto his feet and rushes into his room quickly saying something that sounds like gibberish. You slump down back on the couch letting out a small sigh to look at the still opened tab. First you don’t notice anything suspicious until you see that the special instruction menu is completed just as well with the words: ‘send your cutest delivery guy ~’. 

“MINHYUK!” You jump onto your feet rushing towards his room. What welcomes you is a closed door and silence. “Let me in!” You bang on the door.

“I AM NAKED I CAN’T!” He shouts his response and you groan in annoyance.

“Well you will have to come out from there one day and I’ll be here, waiting.” You say as you return to your couch and continue studying. However, your thoughts are focused on the order. A cute delivery guy? What was he thinking? Half an hour passes when you hear a knock on your door. ‘This must be the pizza’ you think to yourself as you walk over to the door a bit unsure. Are you ready to meet the cute guy behind the door? Can he be cute at all? They probably just sent someone and that’s it, you shouldn’t be afraid of it. These and similar thoughts race around in your mind as you open the door.

Behind the door a tall, slim figure stand with an angelic face and with two pizza boxes in his hands. He looks down at you with a straight expression while you get lost in his perfect features. He might not be cute, but he is definitely good looking. After all, Minhyuk might have done the right thing.

“Good evening ma’am. It will be 26 dollars.” He says with a small smile and hands you the pizza boxes. You put them down on the counter then look for some money in your purse. Before you can pay, Minhyuk rushes out of the room and stands next to you measuring the guy from head to toe who looks a little taken aback. 

“Okay he is cute, you can keep it.” He says turning towards you and your jaw drops along with the delivery guy. “Here is the money” He says paying for the pizza but before the delivery guy can escape he shoots him another question.

“So when will you take out my friend on a date?” He asks leaning on the doorframe.

“MINHYUK!” You pull him away from the door inside of the apartment the two of you own before turning back towards the delivery guy. “Thank you for the delivery, bye!” You say closing the door in his face and turning around to face Minhyuk. 

“What?” He asks shrugging.

“Stop playing wing man! I did not ask for it! Besides I don’t even know his name!” You attack him while he slowly walks towards the door once again. He opens it to find the delivery guy still standing in front of it.

“Hey tottaly random question: What is your name?” Minhyuk asks and you feel your face heating up.

“I’m Hyungwon.” He replies like a robot who had a button pushed.

“Well, now you know.” Minhyuk says as he turns back to you and slams the door at Hyungwon’s face. You slowly favepalm yourself as Minhyuk jumps towards the pizza boxes. As he open one the smell of freshly cooked pizza fills the room even more and he takes out a slice to munch on.

“Well, youhave to admit he was quite cute.” He says almost chocking on the pizza slice. “AghI should have ordered drinks too… maybe we can call him back.”

“NO!” You stop him but thethought of seeing the pizza guy again lingers in your mind. It might not besuch a bad idea to see him after all. “Promise me you won’t try to pull thestrings next time.”

“But-“ He starts but you stophim before he can finish.“Promise me.” You point at himthreateningly.

“I swear on my life and on thispizza slice I won’t interfere.” He sighs as he sadly finishes up his pizza. “Nowcome and eat before it gets cold.” He says sweetly and caringly patting the barchair next to him.

The next day, when Minhyuk is out of the house to catch up with a few friends from high school you sit in front of your laptop, the pizza place’s site is open in front of you. Ever since the delivery guy appeared in front of your door, you can’t stop thinking about him. You are not sure it’s because of his attractiveness or if it’s the second hand embarassment Minhyuk caused. You quickly type in your order, hoping that he is working today just as well and confirm your orders.

A little while later you hear the familiar knock on your door and as you open it you see the familiar face just as well. He looks surprised to see you as if he has already forgotten to be here yesterday. He double checks the order and the address before suspiciously handing it over to you.

“You know… I got a slight déjà vu.” He says as you hand him the money.

“Maybe it’s because we got a lot of orders due to the exam season and everyone looks the same to me now in my head, but… I feel like I have been here yesterday.” You awkwardly giggle and play with your hair while your eyes are fixed on the floor.

“Well… you have been.” You admit. “My friend ordered yesterday too.” You say looking back up at him and he looks like he is processing it. 

“OH! That loud guy who called me cute?” He asks and you nod.

“That’s the one.” You admit. “He is Minhyuk and I’m Y/N.” You say stretching out your hand to shake it.

“I’m Hyungwon.” He says shaking your hand. “Now I really have to go. I have got like 8 deliveries before six so… But thank you for your order.” He says and with that he turns on his heels leaving the building. You close the door with the warm pizza in your hand.

A few days go on like this. You order from the same pizza place a LOT, and by that I mean every day, always asking for the same delivery guy whose caller id from “cute pizza boy from Domino’s” slowly changes into “Hyungwon”. He also notices that you always ask for him to deliver. He got annoyed at that at the beginning because he really hated moving around a lot. He preferred staying at the pizzeria, occasionally cleaning the tables but he soon got promoted to full delivery guy ever since you asked for him. Now he has more work than ever but he also has a bigger paycheck which actually let him buy the things he has been saving up. In that sense he should be really thankful for you and after a few visit he grew really close to you. He knew the time when you possibly make an order, he knew your favorite pizzas and pizza toppings and he could find your apartment from the pizzeria blindfolded. However, he also started to worry about you. Having pizza every day is not the best option health wise. 

“Hyungwon! The orders are ready!” The chef yelled and he rushed next to him taking away the tower of pizza boxes and the addresses. He rushed them through quickly already rolling his eyes knowing that your name will be on it, but that day your name and address were missing.

“Hey… I think there is a problem with this list.” He calls after the chef who turns around cleaning his hands with a table cloth.

“What do you mean?” He asks looking at the list too.

“There is this girl who orders every day, her name is Y/N but her order is not here… did you forget it?” Hyungwon asks while the chef goes back to the kitchen checking the list of orders.

“That is all for today Hyungwon. Her order is not here.” He replies quickly and a weird, unpleasant feeling flows through Hyungwon. Something must have happened to Y/N… this is the only reasonable explanation. “Now hurry up before the pizzas became cold.” The chef sends him off and he rushed to the small motorbike outside. Y/N’s absence brothers him so much that he decides to check on him after his shift is over.

After his shift is over he cleans up a few tables and dresses back into his casual clothes. He picks up his backpack from the locker room and checks out of work. He walks towards the apartment block that he missed today on the chilly spring night. He feels drowsy and tired so he decides to pick up a cup of coffee on his way at a convenience store. However, he picks up a few cups of ramen and a few sweets along with it. With the hot cup of coffee at hand that warmed him up he continued his route towards the place that he missed the most on that day. Without hesitation he walked up the apartment door and knocked on it, sipping on his coffee while he was waiting. 

A guy opened the door which surprised him at first. He hasn’t seen him in a while but he definitely looked familiar, at least to him. The guy on the other hand did not look so welcoming. He downed the rest of his coffee while staring into each other’s’ eyes none of them saying anything.

“Where is Y/N?” Hyungwon finally asked the guy with a straight face.

“Who are you?” He asked back without answering and Hyungwon did his best to remember the guy’s name.

“Minhyung…. right?” He asks pointing at him with furrowed brows.

“Close guess but I am Minhyuk.” He answers. “How do you know?”

“You were the guy who called me cute.” Hyungwon replies calmly and Minhyuk’s eyes widen while his jaw drops.

“CUTE DELIVERY BOY! I did not recognize you without your outfit… why are you looking for Y/N?” He asks wiggling his eyebrows. Hyungwon is already annoyed by him but he takes a deep breath before answering.

“She didn’t make an order today so I came to check on her.” He says and Mihyuk steps aside to let him in. Hesitantly he walks in the small room that he only got to see from the outside.

“She is in her room… she caught a cold.” He says motioning towards a door at the end of a small corridor. “Make yourself at home.” He says while he heads towards Y/N’s bedroom to call her. Hyungwon hesitantly takes of his long jacket and walks to the kitchen taking out the ramen and the sweets he bought.

“Hyungwon?” A familiar voice asks smoothly and quietly. When he looks up he finds Y/N rolled up in a blanket with her hair all messy in her pjs. Hyungwon smiles and puts the kettle on to make some ramen. “What are you doing?”

“Cooking. You didn’t order anything today so I thought you might be hungry… besides you shouldn’t be living on pizza, no matter how tempting it sounds.” Hyungwon giggles as he prepares the food. “It is clearly not good for your health.” He points at your runny nose with a smile. You hop on a bar chair as you watch his delicate movements to make you some warm soup.

“You are an angel.” You speak up leaning on your arms for support feeling your head getting heavier. 

“No, I am really not and I am not exactly the best cook either but I try.” He giggles as he stirs the soup. The sweet and spicy smell already fills up the room making you hungry instantly.

“Here.” He hands you a bowl when he is finished and takes one for himself just as well. You take a bite as he sits down in front of you. The amazing flavor already makes you melt and warms you up. “How is it?”

“It’s really good! You can be my personal chef from now on.” You answer and he giggles smoothly.

“I will think about this amazing offer, but I already have a job.” Hyungwon replies.

“Do I smell ramen?” Minhyuk slowly and cautiously walks out of his room smelling around like a dog searching for food. 

“Yeah… help yourself.” Hyungwon replies pointing at the soup and Minhyuk not wasting his chance quickly get a big bowl of ramen for himself.

“You know what Y/N… he is cute and he can cook… I guess you should really keep him.” Minhyuk says slurping on the soup.

“Goodbye Minhyuk, go and study.” You groan tiredly and Minhyuk smiles at you before leaving the two of you alone. “I am sorry about him.”

“Well he is not wrong… I’m actually cute and I can delivery pizza plus cook ramen so… I would keep myself too.” He says with a smirk and you elbow him in his side. “HEY! Stop hurting the chef… what I am saying is that maybe we should meet up more often… and with less pizza. What do you think?”

“I will think about the pizza part but I would like to.” You answer and Hyungwon smiles at you sweetly before turning back to his ramen.

Cute little prompts~

[babylon-bitch]

Just Friends ~ I'm Late (part 35)

A/N: I’ve been really inactive all week, I’ve been busy writing this and an imagine, it’s currently at 5k+ I’m really liking it so far. I said it’d be out this week but it will probably be out next week, if not the week after. Sorry it’s taken so long :/

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

***

I’ve had an awful week, I’ve been sick, but only in the morning then the rest of the day my stomach hurts, I have a headache, I’m always tired, and weirdly, my boobs hurt a lot.

I’ve been really stressed recently too, revising for exams. My driving test has been stressing me out, my driving instructer is a total dick. Very strict and I don’t know how he became a driving instructer because he has some serious road rage problems. I have to stifle a laugh at some of the things he says.

Luke has been really worried about me, saying I should go to the doctor, but even if I was throwing up blood, I’d still not go to the doctors. Luke claims that it should be over, it’s nearly been a week. I don’t know, sometimes it feels as if I’m feeling better then in a couple of hours I feel like shit again.

Rushing out of bed and into the bathroom and vomiting, I lean on the toilet, waiting for more to come. Here it is, I hold my hair back as I vomit my guts out, one again. I think I’m finished, so I brush my teeth to get the taste out of my mouth.

I open the bathroom door and I’m met by the sun blinding me and my mum. “Hello?” I squint.

“How long have you been sick for?” She dives straight in.

“All week.” I answer but it comes out as a question

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She questions.

“Didn’t think it was necessary, I’m 18 I can deal with being ill myself. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go back to bed.” I huff.

I’ve been having a lot of mood swings too, maybe I’m gonna have a monster period.

“Why don’t you go to the doctors?” She asks.

“I don’t need to, I’m only sick. Now see you in a bit.” I wave and close my door. I hear her mumble something but choose to ignore it and face plant my bed. I feel so ill, but I can eat fine, even more than I usually eat.

“Luke’s here.” In hear someone shout.

I wait for him to come up and I still have my face against my sheets, struggling to breathe.

“How are you feeling, babygirl?” A familiar voice asks.

I groan in response and I hear him chuckle, I’m not really into talking right now. “I take that as no difference.”

“I’ve already been sick this morning and my mum found out too.” I tell him.

“You mean you didn’t tell her?” He asks.

“No, why would I?” I question.

“Because she’s your mother maybe?”

“Whatever.” I mutter and finally turn around onto my back. “I’ve been ill for a week, when will this stop?”

“When is your period due?” He questions.

“Tomorrow, I think.” I answer and he nods.

I decide to freshen up and get in the shower, changing into some gym shorts the type you wear in volleyball, a very thin graphic tee crop top, with a sports bra underneath.

Work out gear is so comfy.

I brush my hair through and just leave it, not even doing my parting. Putting on a little concealer, mascara and blush so I don’t look so dead.

Walking into my bedroom and look for some trainer socks because my feet are cold.

I’ve got loads of school stuff to do and then Erika and I are meeting up to do some work to our book. Sitting down in my deskchair and starting some chemistry homework.

“I believe you have a guest.” Luke claims.

“Well you were on your phone,” I tell him.

“Shut up.”

“I’ve got a load of homework and revision and shit to do. I’m not gonna be any fun.” I shrug.

“I’ll be on the roof.”

“Do you know how weird that sounds?” I laugh.

Luke kisses my forehead before walking out of my bedroom. I haven’t been able to kiss Luke at all this week, only on the forehead and cheek, and I appreciate that he doesn’t makeout with my cheek.

After an hour and a bit I get board of chemicals so I decide to find Luke, if he’s here still that is.

Taking the easy route that the boy’s don’t know about and go into the loft and then through that window. Closing the loft door behind me and stepping on a box to reache the window, opening that to as far as it goes and closing that behind me.

Walking over to where Luke is and sitting next to him, dangling my feet over the roof. “Where the fuck, did you come from?” He questions after a minute or two of silence.

“I’m magic.” I smirk.

“Magic ways of making me fall in love with you.” He says and I blush and giggle.

“Always so cheesy, Hemmings.” I rest my head on his shoulder.

“You love it.” He laughs as he puts his arm around me.

“What have you been up to whilst I was in my room?” I ask.

“I’ve been writing a song.” He tells me and picks up his acoustic that has a smiley face on it, drawn by me.

“Now, where the fuck did that come from?” I question.

“I went home quickly and then came back.” He explains.

“Oh.”

“I’m stuck with the transition from the chorus and then the next verse, I can’t get it to be smooth.” Luke frustratedly states.

I tell him some chords and his face lights up, he tries it and it sounds great. “How did you know that?” He asks.

“I think you’ve forgotten I’ve been with you when you learnt guitar, you’d always tell me about the stuff you’d learnt.”

“Oh yeah, I did, didn’t I?” He smiles at the memory.

“Yeah, it was quite interesting though.”

“Y-”

“No, I’ve told you this before and I’m going to tell you one more time, I’m not learning to play.” I cut him off.

“You’d be good at it though.” He claims.

Damn right I am.

“Luke.” I warn.

“Just keep it in mind and I’ll be your sexy guitar teacher, that you can sleep with all the time.” Luke smirks.

“I think I’d get Michael to teach me.”

“Uh no, you wouldn’t.”

***

I’m late, like really late.

A week late and I’m rarely late, I thought I was just stressed and all but it’s been 6 days. I’m starting to get nervous because a couple of weeks ago, Luke and I did the deed and didn’t use a condom, I am on birth control but I know for a fact that I’ve forgotten to take it some days.

I haven’t told Luke or anyone yet, I’m scared as fuck. Luke is still 17, he’s not even a legal adult, there’s no way he would stay with me if I had a child. If I am pregnant, I’m probably not gonna keep it.

Now that I think about it, being sick in the mornings, tender breasts, feeling sick a lot, mood swings, but that could also be period symptoms, besides being sick in the morning.

Maybe I should just call Luke and I will take a test, just to be sure. I’ve been crying all morning, it was hard being in school whilst that happened, I skipped geography and went to a secluded part of the school to cry. I was laying in bed at night, starting to panic, because of the possibility that I could be pregnant. Then I thought about it and I’ve been a shaking, worrisome, terrified, over analysing mess.

Picking up my phone and clicking on Luke’s contact, waiting for Luke to pick up. “Hey babe, I’m with the guys ri- NO, MY BALL, you’re hacking.” Luke gets distracted.

“Luke.” I sob.

“Woah, Harp, what’s wrong?” He questions, concern filling his voice.

“Please, c-come over, we n-need to talk.” I stutter.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.” He tells me.

“Don’t hang up, please.” I beg.

“Okay, it’s alright, baby.” He soothes.

“What’s going on?” Someone that sounds like Michael asks.

“I don’t know, Harper seems upset, I don’t know when I’ll be back.” He tells them, whilst I continue to cry into the phone.

“Um, okay, I hope she is alright.”

“Yeah, I’ll be back later, bye.” Luke says to the guys and I here him sigh. “Hey, Harper, it’s alright, calm down, I’ll be there in a matter of seconds.”

I sniffle and wipe my smudged mascara.

Within seconds the door bell goes off and I race down the stairs, swinging the door open and collapsing into Luke, he quickly wraps his arms around me. “What’s up?” He whispers in my ear.

I try to form a sentance but no words come out and I breakdown again. “C'mon.” Luke sighs and picks me up, I wrap my legs around his waist and continue to sob into his shoulder.

Luke sets me down on his lap and he sits on my bed. “Gorgeous, I’d love to help you, but I need to know what’s wrong.” Luke says.

“I’m late.” I wipe away my tears away, trying to compose myself again.

“To what? I’m sure you can get there if you leave.” He chuckles.

“No, Luke, my period is late.” I confess and his eyes widen.

“By how much?” He gulps nervously.

“6 days, but if you t-think about it, I’ve been having morning sickness, all the pregnancy symptoms.”

“But we’ve been safe.” He furrows his eyebrows.

“Remember a couple of weeks ago we didn’t have any protection?” I question.

“But you said that you were on the pill.”

“Yeah, but I forget to take it sometimes.” I sigh.

“Have you told anyone else?” He asks.

“No, I’ve been too nervous.”

“Why don’t we go out and get some tests, then see what happenes.” Luke suggests.

“Okay, let me just freshen up and put on some trousers.”  I mutter and get off his lap, going into the bathroom, putting on some perfume on, brushing my teeth, cleaning up my tears, deciding to go make up free and last but not least, I put on some black leggings.

“Ready?” Luke questions.

I know that inside he is probably panicking as much as I am, but from the outside he looks so calm. I can see right through your smile Hemmings.

“Yeah,” I nod and put on some shoes before walking the door.

“It’s gonna be alright, despite the outcome.” Luke smiles down at me and intwines our fingers.

“Will you stay with me?” I ask the question that has been hovering over me. Luke looks a mixture of being offended and a ‘are you serious’ look.

“Of course, I’d be with you if you were a zombie, I never want to leave you. Plus this possible baby is mine, right?” He panicks a little bit.

“Yes, or course,” and now its my turn to give him a ‘are you serious’ look.

“I had to make sure.” He jokes.

Classic Luke, trying to make me smile whatever the situation.

“If-if you are pregnant, will you keep it?” He asks.

“Do you want me to?” I question.

“It’s your body so it’s totally your choice.” He claims.

“I probably won’t, I’ve got a f-future, I can hardly go to uni if I’ve got a child to look after. I’m not ready, maybe in ten years but definitely not now.”

“When would you want to have a child? Preferably with me.”

“Ten years, probably in my late twenties, we’ve only been going out for 5 or 6 months, we’re too young to have any responsibilities of that kind, you’re not even a legal adult yet. To be honest, I’ve never really thought about having children with you, of course I’d want to, but it’s never crossed my mind.” I explain.

“I don’t think that our relationship in numbers count, we’ve known each other practically all our lives, so I think when we are the right age, we’ll have children, not when we’ve been dating for a significant amount of time.” He points out.

“That’s very true. When would you want to have children?” I ask.

“Mid/late twenties maybe, when ever you’re ready to be honest.” He answers.

“Here it is,” I say as we walk into the shop. “This is so weird, I’ve never done this before, actually yeah I have, I went with Erika once.”

“Erika thought she was pregnant?” Luke questions.

“Yeah, she wasn’t though.” I explain.

“Should we get a couple, just to make sure?” Luke questions.

“Uh sure,” I nod my head, starting to panic again.

“Hey, it’s alright, I’m here.” Luke cooes and rubs the small of my back.

“I know, it’s just I’m eighteen, I’m not ready to even think about being a mum. How could we be so irresponsible?”

“We made a mistake but we learn from our mistakes.” He states.

“Ugh it’s gonna be so awkward buying these.” I groan as I pick up two prefnancy tests.

“Why don’t you put an act on, it will be funny, I’ll give you a backstory. You and your sexy husband, Luke Hemmings have been trying for a baby. You’re 29 and you think your finally pregnant. Go.” He tells me and pushes me towards the counter by my ass.

I’ll be staying away from sex for a while, I can tell you that.

“Hey, you need to come with me.” I tell him.

“Ugh, fine, but I need a backstory.”

“You are a 28 year old idiot, oh wait, you already are. You’re a 32 year old male and are dating a hot 29 year old, called Harper White. Oh you’ve got an interest in My Little Pony. That gets all the ladies.”

“I’m 32, dating you, a 27 year old and I’ve got an interest in My Little Pony.” He concludes.

“Let’s go see if I’m pregnant.” I exclaim and Luke chuckles.

Luke puts his arm around me and we go pay for these.

The lady at the check out gave us a funny look but I just ignored her and put the pregnancy tests into my bag.

“I am so nervous.”

We’re at my house now and I’m so fucking worried, and kind of ashamed.

“Well I guess I should find out what my future holds.” I sigh.

Taking one test with me and closing the door behind me. Taking the pregnancy test out of the box and reading the instructions. I finally build up enough confidence to just take it.

I do my business on the stick and I put the cap on, placing it on the counter. I sit on the toilet lid as I wait, a million thoughts going through my mind, 1 second feels like one minute.

I never thought I’d be taking a pregnancy test at eighteen, let alone ever, I’ve never really seen myself getting married or having children. I wouldn’t be upset if I was pregnant in the right time, in the future, but it’s never been my scene.

My hands are shaking, my heart is beating so fast and I’m pretty sure England can hear it, a million thoughts going through my mind, I probably look as if I’ve seen a ghost.

Time should be up by now and I’m just not ready, I can’t do this. “Luke.” I call out and open the door.

“Yeah?” He questions, his breath hitching as he walks onto the landing.

“I can’t look at it, I need you to look at it.” I claim

“Okay, baby.” He nods.

Probably not the best nickname to use right now.

Luke wraps his arm around me and pulls me into an embrace. He picks up the pregnancy test with his arm still around me and his breathing picks up. “What do two lines mean?” He questions.

I burst out crying into his chest. Luke quickly puts the test down and wraps his other arm around me, one rubbing up and down my back and the other in my hair.

“Hey, it’s gonna me alright, we can get through this.” He whispers into my ear.

“How is it going to be okay? We’re fucking pregnant, I’m 18 your 17, we can’t have a baby.” I claim.

“Are pregnancy tests always 100%?”

“Not all the time, but it’s quite rare for them to be wrong.” I tell him.

“Why don’t you take the other one, just to be sure?” He suggests.

“What’s even the point?” I mutter.

“Come on Harper, now isn’t the time to mope around, we need to find this out.” Luke sighs.

I nod, knowing he is right.

“I’ll um, leave you to it.” He awkwardly says, and if I wasn’t in this state, I would’ve laughed at him.

I nod and fill a glass up with water before downing, and waiting for it to pass through.

After a while I do the test again, this time it isn’t as bad as last time, but it’s still terrifying. After the time period is up, I timidly look at it and it comes back as negative.

The fuck?

“Luke,” I call him.

“Yeah?” He asks as he walks in, a terrified look on his face.

“It’s negative.”

“But, what?” He questions.

“I don’t know, we’re gonna have to book an appointment, I’m not going through the stress of taking a fucking pregnancy test again.”

“Yeah, okay, do you think we’ll able to book an appointment now for tomorrow?” He asks.

“It’s half five, so probably, I’m not sure about tomorrow though.” I answer.

“Who’s gonna do it?” Luke asks.

“I should probably do it because I am possibly carrying our child.” I sigh.

I take my phone out of my pocket and phone the hospital.

After 10 minutes it’s all booked and surprisingly enough, I’ve got a slot for tomorrow.

“Okay, we’ve got an appointment at 1:15 tomorrow afternoon. Is that alright?”

“Uh, yeah I think so.” He nods.

“Whats happening at 1:15 tomorrow?” Someone asks and I drop my head onto Luke’s chest, letting out a groan.

“Whats wrong with her?” Michael asks.

“Dunno.” He shrugs and wraps his arms around me.

“So what’s happening tomorrow?” Calum asks.

“Uh, Harper and I are… going on a date.” He trails off.

“Romantic.” I mutter and he squeezes me.

“But Harper doesn’t like going on dates.” Erika points out.

“Trying something new.” He covers.

“Oh, like your sex positions?” Ashton asks.

“The fuck?” I question.

“Just leave us alone, we have… things to sort out, nothing that concerns you guys.”

“What things?” Mike asks.

“Nothing that concerns you.” I say as I walk out of my room and make my way down into the kitchen.

“Harper, can I talk to you for a minute?” Someone asks and I quickly turn around, being met my Maddie.

“Oh, hello, I was wondering where you were.” I smile.

“Do you have a minute?” She questions.

“Um, yeah sure.” I shrug and I sit on the counter, Maddie sitting on the island opposite me.

“I’m going to go ask/show you something.” She starts off. “So I found this on Twitter about 10 minutes ago, not many people have seen it, yet.”

Maddie plays a video of Luke and I at the shop we went to, it’s more of just audio, but at some parts you can see us. You can literally hear us, word by word talking about it all, they must’ve been on the other isle, or even behind us. We must’ve been so caught up in the moment and didn’t check our surroundings.

“So…” Maddie trails off.

“Um uh.” I stutter. Do I tell her? I guess I should seek some female help, I definitely can’t ask my mum, because of obvious reasons, Erika wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut. I haven’t really done anything like this with Maddie so now’s my chance I guess. “I may or may not be pregnant.” I quietly say.

“Have you taken the test yet?” She questions.

“Uh, y-yes, one came out positive and the other came out negative.” I tell her.

“What are you gonna do?”

“I literally just booked a doctor’s appointment and then we’ll see what happens. I’m not gonna keep it, I don’t have time for a baby right now. I don’t even know if I want children in the future, let alone one now. I’m 18 for Christ sake. Are you disappointed in me or us?”

“Of course not, I could never think bad of you guys. What happened? Failed condom, unprotected sex? What birth control do you use?” She asks.

“Why?” I question.

“Need to take notes.” She claims.

“Maddie,” I can’t help but laugh, “you’re gay, you aren’t going to get pregnant with Erika anytime soon.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Anyway, it was unprotected sex, I feel so stupid and ashamed.” I groan.

“Don’t be ashamed, I’ve had a pregnancy scare before. I’ve only done it with a dude once and I’ve never gone back after that,” she laughs. “No, but I had a scare, had to take a pregnancy test, it came back negative. I think it’s more common than you think.”

“Thanks Maddie.” I smile.

“What will you do if you are pregnant?” She asks.

“I probably won’t keep it, but I just know I’m gonna get an overwhelming feeling of guilt.”