#Can't really do it in Excel and trying to do it in Python is like trying to force a mouse to be a rabbit

[chronomally]

Death by a thousand cuts in my class this week

[tehamelie]

Various fine opinions on the meaning of life contained in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life:

*Unionize your workplace, alternatively turn it into a pirate ship and take to the high seas. It'll piss off management either way.

*Question everything.

*Look at what you think you know from a different perspective.

*The pursuit of profit at all costs can and will ruin the meaning of any work and also make you worse at it.

*Gender roles are not necessarily assigned at birth.

*The Catholic church is not well.

"God has blessed us so much I can't afford to feed you all any longer."

*Just because you're allowed doesn't mean you should.

*You should not, and will not, die to "keep China British."

*God has many ways to cook you to death, if He wants to.

*Straight sex is so damn boring.

*Don't just stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.

*Sport, like sex, only works between equal parties. Any other way and you invite horror and depravity. (That kid is definitely dead and the upperclassmen are just stomping on him anyway.)

*Actually, getting murdered playing rugby against adults two or three times your size is an excellent way to prepare you for fighting in a war.

*Even a good captain will be hated by their subordinates. This is the burden of command.

"We'll always need an army, and may God strike me down were it to be otherwise." *is immediately struck down by literal the hand of God*

*A fighting force is better served by a single soldier who actually wants to be there than twenty men who doesn't.

*There's a fine line between keeping one's cool in a heated situation and acting like you're on a bloody different planet when people are dying in front of you.

There are less than 4500 wild tigers left in the world. The "A tiger? In Africa?!" bit is less of a joke every year.

*In less than surprising news, killing people is bad for you. (It turns out, for psychologically healthy people, doing violence really hurts you as much as the victim.)

*Where is that fish?

*Theme restaurants could do with a bit of randomly mixed themes.

*Don't be afraid to ask the most idiotic questions about things you don't understand. That's how we learn.

*Oh ho it's the meaning of liver donation I get it now.

*The Galaxy Song is fun and all but don't give in to misanthropy.

*Matter is energy, the human soul grows with care and attention, and people aren't wearing enough hats.

*Actually, the movie makes a staggering point here and buries it with distracting nonsense jokes, while also making the point that we get sidetracked from self-actualization by distracting nonsense jokes. It's a point sandwich with joke filling.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Shout out to happy penis havers, though I'm not one myself.

*M Creosote shows us that single-minded devotion to one's mission in life (eating an entire upscale French restaurant in one sitting, for example) will leave you unhappy and alone.

*Dunk antisemites in buckets of vomit.

*Gaston, the middle aged waiter, delivers a coherent personal philosophy as he walks us to the cottage where he was born. The significance of this cannot be overestimated. He decided to be a waiter, you see. Because he believes in something. It's a simple belief of giving, of loving people and bringing them joy. But be believes it with all his heart and he'll fight for the right to live the life he chose.

*If you have to die, but can choose the manner of your execution, try being hounded to death by naked women.

*See the world in a grain of sand, or a maple leaf as it were.

*Terry Pratchett was a great man and a great writer, but he's wrong about one thing: Death is relative. No, no, you can't argue away Death or shoot him, but he is subject to the laws of relativity. Consider the stars in the sky; at least one star that's visible to the naked eye I hear may be dead right now - it's 500 light years away and they think it may go supernova at any point within 500 years from now. But here, locally, the star still lives; there's no possible reality where it's gone until the light of its explosion reaches us.

*Heaven is a fantastically cheesy musical theater performance with angel santa claus strippers and a lead singer you just want to punch. Clearly we need to build something better here on Earth.

*Be nice, read books, take a walk sometimes, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. Obviously.

*[The producers] hope that other fish will follow [the example of the movie] so that, in future, fish all over the world will live together in harmony and understanding, and put aside their petty differences, stop hunting and eating each other and live for a brighter, better future for all fish and those who love them. Yes, clearly this is about fish.

[toubledrouble]

More quick pjo/hoo headcanons

(most of these are cabin 6) (also, if I accidentally stole your headcanon, definitely let me know so I can either delete it or credit you)

Listen, I'm tired of Athena kids being only the architecture/math kids. Give me Athena kids who excel in humanities. Athena kids who know everything about their latest hyperfixation, that's it. Athena kids who are craftsmen or artists of any sort to the extent where you could mistake them for Hephaestus or Apollo kids

Generally just. Different cabins discussing someone's godly parent, because really, if you take a closer look, many gods have common traits. Like Apollo being the God of logic, music and poetry while Athena is the goddess of wisdom and art/craftsmanship. Plus Hephaestus being a blacksmith - also a craft. Dionysius, Athena, Hermes and Apollo are all associated with theatre. Hades and Hecate are both associated with magic. Is it a Demeter kid, or an Athena kid that really likes botany? You may never know. It's like Frank thinking he was a son of Apollo only to discover he is actually a son of Mars - you can have a tip and there is quite the chance you will be proven wrong.

Also. The deal with Athena kids and chess. Listen, I love you, but as a strategy lover with adhd, I have to tell you that I keep losing because I just can't focus on it. Just. Nope. Not working.

Similar goes for word games - do you think a bunch of dyslexic kids is going to love them? Maybe if it was in Greek, lmao.

I cannot get over this one: Athena kids playing instruments. Obviously, not with such an ease as many Apollo kids, but Athena kids are still pretty decent at it. Also, Athena is after all the creator of the flute. That's right. Musical talent runs in the family xd

I am once again here with my sacred animals headcanon. Gods sending their sacred animals to check on their kids. Kids being able to talk to those animals, or just being surrounded by them. Cabins having them as pets (yes, give me a cabin with a whole damn lion on a gigant dog bed)

All of the art god kids™ team up and try to convince Cheiron to let them see different musicals. So far, they have succeeded only with Hamilton, but that doesn't mean they'll give up.

Tyche, Nike and Hermes kids have bets that get out of hand very often, but they're unstoppable. Also, along with Athena and Ares kids, they take competitions to a next level, none of them willing to lose

Actually, genuenly: I'm cancelling the blond Athena kids thing. I'm moving it over to the Apollo cabin and establishing that if anything like this should work there, it should be with brunettes, because Athena herself is most commonly depicted as a brunette. Case closed.

You know that paint that basically turns everything you paint it with into a chalkboard? Or those gigantic stripes of blackboard that you can stick on your wall, mostly made for little kids to draw on? The Athena cabin has that.

Or you know what? Had. It had to be removed and replaced with whiteboards because the cabin was filled with chalk dust, which covers everything and also isn't very comfortable to breathe in.

The cabin smells like lemon and peppermint, both of which repel spiders

It also has automatic floor heating because everyone knows that the floor is the most comfortable place to study

Oh, and there is a ton of creative projects in various stages of progress

The Athena cabin sends out a messenger (animal or a person) to bring a literal olive branch when they seriously want to settle things - it's both a clever reference and a symbol of Athena. Ares cabin is the only exception because last time, they set it on fire.

You've heard all about the language headcanons, but what about Demeter kids understanding the language of flowers?

Apollo kids are either extremely afraid of snakes (because of Python) or they love them (like Asclepius), no in-between. I'm convinced that at one point, a kid determined to get their siblings to love snakes as well got one and named it William Snakespeare. That is officially the only snake liked by every cabin 7 resident

Apollo kids actually love their godly sibling, Aristaeus - God of shepherds, beekeeping, cheesemaking, stuff related to that, medicinal herbs, olive growing, oil milling and the winds that provide respite from the heat of midsummer, aka the chillest guy I've ever heard of. I'm convinced he visits the camp once in a while and brings them the good stuff. Asclepius probably visits sometimes too, but as the God od medicine, he's a busy guy. He still loves helping his sibling when it comes to his area of expertise.

All Athena kids have a gift directly received from their mother (and most of the time, it's sending a mixed message)

A cool gift concept - a weapon in the style of Jason's, except it turns into a weapon the user needs the most at the moment. It's also great because Athena kids easily adapt to any weapon with little to no training and obviously, this is a very strategic weapon to have. I also think that unlike Riptide, it could be lost very easily - Athena would definitely want to teach her kids a lesson about keeping an eye on their stuff.

You aren't allowed to ask the Athena cabin about their favourite philosophers because it always turns into a fight

Since Athena only needs a mental connection of sort to have children, there are definitely Athena kids with mortal moms or infertile parents

One time, an actual child of Minerva shows up to Camp Jupiter. Needless to say, the Romans aren't taking it well. Children of Athena are probably called to explain the circumstances of their birth, which results in a discussion uncomfortable for both sides

Since Apollo stays basically the same in Roman mythology, it can be kind of hard to tell if his kid is roman or greek. I think many children would be relieved to know that both options exist and they aren't just weird

Have I talked about how different regions worshipped gods a bit differently? Yeah. I want that to be a thing noticeable in demigods. I think I mentioned this in some of my earlier posts.

Poseidon kids instinctively know the international code of signals (a flag code used for communication between ships)

Hera's (goddess of family) and Hestia's (goddess of home) cabins can be used by unclaimed demigods

[twoidiotwriters1]

Almighty (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Forgot to queue this jsjsjsj -Danny Words: 2,283 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Wide Awake' -by Katy Perry

XXXIX: I'm What the Kids Call 'Unwell'

"Honey cakes?"

"I hope you're not calling us that," Meg frowns.

"No, we need honey cakes. Did you bring them or did I?" 

Ara and Meg share a look. "You never said anything about honey cakes."

"But I just remembered! We need them for the snakes!"

"Snakes." Meg tenses. "Why would there be snakes?"

"Good question! I just know we're supposed to have honey cakes to appease them. So... we forgot the cakes?"

"You never said anything about cakes!"

"Well, that's a shame. Anything we can substitute? Oreos, perhaps?"

"Oh, you really are a pathetic little thing," Ara sighs, slinging her octopus off one shoulder. "Let me see if I've got something..."

"I ate the snacks you had there," Meg grumbles in frustration.

"Hmm. Okay. I guess we'll improvise." Lester hums.

"You show us how to improvise with snakes. We'll follow."

"I'll help!" Ara takes a step forward.

Meg grabs a hold of her shirt. "You're being weird."

"Yes, I know," She looks down at the girl. "Do you know what's wrong with me?"

"No. But don't follow him."

"I saw lots of people in my head," Ara continues while Lester guides them. "And they're not dead, I saw them because they were calling me."

"Calling how?"

Ara ponders. "Thinking about me. Dreaming and daydreaming. They need help."

"You can't help them right now, you're with me," Meg grunts as they push through a narrow corridor.

"I know why!" Lester interrupts them again.

"You know why what?"

"Why snakes! You asked me why we would find snakes, didn't you? Or was that someone else? Snakes are symbolic! They represent prophetic wisdom from deep in the earth, just as birds symbolize prophetic wisdom from the heavens."

"Uh-huh."

"So snakes are attracted to Oracles! Especially ones in caves!"

"Like that big snake monster we heard in the Labyrinth, Python?"

Lester frowns a bit, then smiles again. "Well, yes, I suppose it's like that. Anyway, the snakes should be right up ahead! That's why we need honey cakes. You have some, you said?"

"No, I—"

"Excellent!" 

Meg growls. "I hate him."

"He needs help," Ara shrugs.

"Ta-da!" Lester opens his arms showing what's ahead.

Meg blanches. "Apollo... you'd need a zillion honey cakes for that many snakes."

"Oh, but you see, we need to get to that little island in the center. That's where we'll receive our prophecy."

"But if we go into that water, won't the snakes kill us?"

"Probably! Let's find out!" 

Lester jumps in, so naturally, Ara follows without hesitation. The snakes surround them easily and Meg shouts at them to sing, but Ara doesn't know what to sing about, so someone else should sing first so she can help with harmonies or stuff.

"Sing that song you did in the ants' nest!" Meg pleads.

Ara remembers the day, but her ears were covered then so she doesn't remember the song. She looks between them, unsure of how to proceed. She looks at the snakes, but she isn't afraid of them, or what they could do to her.

"I think you should do something, Lester," Ara says with confused distress. "If you don't, I can't help you."

"Oh! You're worried about me! I'm about to die!" He laughs delightedly.

Meg starts singing, frustrated by the way they're acting. They listen to her, trying to understand her lyrics. Ara sings along, about some void she used to have, some hunger... but that's not relevant now, her demigods are. She sings of them, and she about the way she suffered loss, and how much she loves the ones who remain, and how much she wants to help them.

"It's my fault," Meg's song trembles. "Your blood on my hands. The crushed rose I couldn't save."

Ara sings as a backup but her throat tightens a few minutes into the song. Her mind has landed on the things that are slipping away: The struggle to get here, the way sweat used to drip down her brow, how her stomach would grumble and muscles would stiffen. Training. Growing. Being human.

"No! No, Meg!" The snakes go away and Apollo pulls Ara against him. Around them, Meg's memories reflect on the wall: her father, what she lost, and Nero's abuse. 

Ara frows at the images. "Oh, that is no way to treat demigods..." Meg was alone like Ara had been. She has to help her.

"I need you to be more diligent in your studies, do you understand?" Nero's voice echoes around them. "Whatever the swords-master says, you must do. It would break my heart if something else happened, something even worse than this. Look. Remember."

New projections join Meg's, and they're all from Ara's memories, things she's thought, things she's heard.

"I gave up on having my own life to look after my loved ones forever, because that's what you do when your love is real."

"You can trust Ara to go above and beyond to keep anyone safe."

"She makes things happen."

"I think of all the friends I've lost, of how lonely they must've felt in their last moments. I think of all the lives it could save to have someone who shows up when we need them."

"You will lose, Ara Jackson, and that will be the beginning of the end."

"Meg, stop singing!" Lester screams. A bright flash of light pulls all the projections onto itself and forms a body. "Trophonius! Leave them alone!"

"Apollo," the swarm of bees forms a single eery voice. "I've waited a long time, Father."

"Please, my son. Meg and Ara are not your petitioners. I am!"

"If they are not my petitioner, why did they summon me with their song of grief? They have many unanswered questions. I could answer them, for the price of their sanity."

"No! They were—They were trying to protect me," the boy sobs. "They're my friends. I am the supplicant to your holy Oracle. Take me instead!"

"Take me instead," the voice repeats bemusedly. "The very prayer I made when my brother Agamethus was caught in a tunnel, his chest crushed, his life fading. Did you listen to me then, Father?"

"Don't punish the girls for what I did."

"Do you know how long I wandered the mortal world after killing my brother, Apollo? After cutting off his head, my hands still covered in his blood, I staggered through the wilderness for weeks, months. I pleaded to the earth to swallow me up and end my misery. I got half my wish. I dwell in darkness now because I am your son. I see the future because I am your son. All my pain and madness... Why should I not share it with those who seek my help? Does your help ever come without a price?"

Lester gets on his knees. "Please, Trophonius. I am mortal now. Take your price from me!"

"The girls have already volunteered! She opened her deepest fears and regrets to me," he points at Meg. "And this one, the daughter of Olympus... well, losing your mortality can be a tough process, I'm only being merciful like you were, speeding her process."

"No! No, Meg didn't drink of the two springs. Her mind is not prepared. She will die!"

"She is precious to you... Would you give your life in exchange for hers?"

"Yes. Yes, I would die to save Meg McCaffrey."

"Very good! Then promise me that you'll grant me a wish. Whatever I ask, you will do."

"Y-your wish?" Lester blinks. "Yes. I swear. Whatever you ask. Then we have an agreement? You will take me instead of the girl?"

"Oh, I didn't promise anything in return! I just wanted to exact that promise from you. The girl's fate is already decided." The bees fly to Meg and take her, surrounding her and leaving Ara alone.

She looks up, still not afraid, only annoyed. "Why spare me?"

"I did not spare you," Trophonius points at Meg. "You will take from her like the gods took from you—you will feed from the bad as much as they do."

Lester jumps back into the water and swims over to get Meg. "Trophonius, stop it!"

"This is not my doing. Your friend opened her mind to the Dark Oracle. She asked questions. Now she is receiving the answers."

"She asked no questions!"

"Oh, but she did. Mostly about you, Father. What will happen to you? Where must you go? How can she help you? These worries are foremost in her mind. Such misplaced loyalty..."

Ara swims to Meg too. "It's okay, sweetheart," she pants. "I'll help..."

"Meg, stay with us. Concentrate on my voice."

Ara presses a hand on the girl's forehead and shines pink, white, then purple. "Oh, this is disturbing her deeply, Lester. We must get the poison out. Would a song work?"

"So about this favor you promised—"

"Shut up!" Lester snarls at his son. "Not you, Ara, you keep talking. Use charmspeak, keep her afloat."

"Meg, you are feeling sleepy," she absorbs some of Meg's nonsensical emotions. "You're sweating the illness away..."

"She's just fallen into a deeper trance. That's not necessarily a good sign. She could still die," the oracle says casually.

"Meg, don't listen to Trophonius. He's all about fear and pain. He's just trying to make us lose hope." Lester says.

"Hope. Interesting word. I had hope once—that my father might act like a father. I got over it after a few centuries of being dead."

"Don't blame me for you robbing the king's treasury!" He barks back. "You are here because you messed up."

"I prayed to you!"

"Well, perhaps you didn't pray for the right thing at the right time! Pray for wisdom before you do something stupid! Don't pray for me to bail you out after you follow your worst instincts!"

"Did I follow my worst instincts?" Ara mumbles deep in thought, taking more of Meg's grief.

"Ara..." Lester chokes out, not knowing what to do. "No, you two are one of the best, you... I wouldn't be here without you... Meg, flowers grow back. You have deep roots. You have strong stems. You have... Your face is green. Why is her face green?"

"Interesting. Perhaps she's dying—Ah. They're here, waiting for you," Trophonius mentions a second later. "The emperor's servants. Blemmyae. An underwater tunnel just there... it leads into the rest of the cavern system, the part known to mortals. The blemmyae have learned better than to come into this chamber, but they're waiting for you on the other end. That's the only way you can escape."

"Then we will."

"Doubtful. Even if your young friend survives, the blemmyae are preparing explosives."

"WHAT?"

"Oh, Commodus probably told them to use the explosives only as a last resort. He likes having me as his personal fortune-teller. He sends his men in here from time to time, pulls them out half-dead and insane, gets free glimpses of the future. What does he care? But he'd rather destroy this Oracle than allow you to escape alive."

Ara fixes her posture and checks Meg's pulse, a lavender tone forming as she mixes some blessings. "Lester, the same way it went in, it can go out."

"I have no idea what you mean with your crazy talk!" He snaps at her.

"Suck out the venom!" Ara urges him. "I'll help you!"

"Sorry, Meg!" He presses his mouth to Meg's and pulls in. 

Ara glows teal and pictures the venom in her mind, Lester starts to choke, so Ara places her other hand on his back and teal mixes with purple. Three people in a single mind hive, Ara sees everything, Lester processes it, and Meg collects it. Voices speak their prophecy, an unfiltered power Ara's only been vaguely close to throughout the years now seeping through her veins.

Lester and Meg are begging for rest, one way or another, and Ara is trying to carry them out. She thinks one sentence at the same time as them, and it resonates so strongly it saves them."I cannot give up. They need me."

Ara yanks Lester away from Meg and he falls beside her, panting and pale. Meg faints, but she lives. Lester glances up at Ara through heavy eyelids. "I love you."

"Thank you," Ara's mind starts to go back to normal now that she's halfway done with the process.

"Oh, well," the oracle sighs with disappointment. "The little girl might still be insane for the rest of her life. That's some consolation."

Ara and Lester glare at him. "Some consolation?"

"Yes. You'd best hurry. You'll have to carry the girl through the underwater tunnel, so I suppose you might both drown. Or the blemmyae might kill you at the other end. But if not, I want that favor."

Lester laughs dryly. "You expect a favor? For attacking a defenseless girl?"

"For giving you your prophecy. It's yours, assuming you can extract it from the girl on the Throne of Memory. Now my favor, as you promised: Destroy this cave."

A pause. "Say what, now?"

"This location is too exposed. Your allies at the Waystation will never be able to defend it from the Triumvirate. The emperors will just keep attacking. I do not wish to be used by Commodus anymore. Better that the Oracle is destroyed."

"I can understand not wanting to be used," Ara nods approvingly. "I'll destroy you."

"But, Trophonius... what will happen to you?" Lester wonders.

"Perhaps my Oracle will reappear somewhere else in a few centuries—under better circumstances, in a more secure location. Maybe that will give you time to become a nicer father."

"How do we destroy this place?"

"I may have mentioned the blemmyae with explosives in the next cave? If they do not use them, you must."

"And Agamethus? Will he disappear as well?"

"Eventually. Tell Agamethus... Tell him I love him, and I'm sorry this has been our fate. That's more than I ever got from you."

"What about Georgina? Where did Agamethus find her? Is she my child?"

The ghost laughs. "Ah, yes. Consider that mystery my last gift to you, Father. I hope it drives you insane!"

Ara watches him fade, fully sober now. "Can you carry Meg?"

"Yeah..." He eyes her. "Are you okay?"

The girl examines herself, bone dry even though she was soaking wet a minute ago. "Yeah, I just... yeah. Let's go get those explosives."

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

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[lumilasi]

UPDATE: Since her band no longer exists, I changed her job into an airship mechanic. I don't have an idea for her work clothes yet, but will add them once I do!

Note: Max has no ears on purpose even in human form, also they can transform only partially where their upper body still looks like the human one.

Bio below:

Name: Max Karuna

Nicknames: Snakes (Chouma) Maxie (Franziska)

Nonbinary, uses She/they

Age: 28

Height: 167 cm (human)

Occupation: An airship mechanic/mentor to mechanic student Marisa

Family: They apparently has a MASSIVE family, but she rarely sees them due to her job (not relevant to the main story either)

Love Interest: Franziska Belmont (A sith cat/cat witch)

Friends: Chouma (A moth spirit), Marisa (her apprentice, also a moth spirit), Taiga (Arctic kitsune)

Powers:

Aquatic abilities: They can breathe underwater, dive into the depth of 4 km, swim 50 mph, and send supersonic signals through water and has some water elemental powers, though she needs to be in contact with water to do so, unlike actual elementals.

Excellent drumming skills: Self explanatory

Shapeshifting: They can switch between a human, a half or full-naga, as well as a full snake form. The latter is the size of a normal python snake, whereas her naga form can be up to 10-15 meters long.

Snake hair: She can turn her hair into snakes that have very sharp teeth, and can choke or crush things. (Being a python type, Max is one of those rarer Naga with no poison production, most Nagas are venomous snakes)

Venom: She can produce venom from her fangs and clawed hands that can either sedate, paralyze or kill a target. They aren't the most poisonous type though, so typically the venom doesn't work lethally on most healthy humans, let alone nonhuman beings.

Sixth sense for treasure: Her kind generally are well known for finding anything lost that holds importance, and she is no different. If something is missing, their bandmates often ask them to find it.

WEAKNESSES:

Max can be easily coaxed for shenanigans, which can cause some issues and messes to be cleaned. She, as a snake, is not fond of cold climates and can get the flu extremely easily during winter.

PERSONALITY:

Max is confident, outgoing and friendly person, who makes friends easily and is generally seen as a bit of a sunny personality to be around. They have a mischievous side despite seeming very chill and mature at first glance, and tends to pull pranks on people a lot. They are also very attuned to people's emotions and vibes, and she can tell when someone is having a bad day and what could perhaps help, or when is not the right time to talk about something.

They can be a bit of a potty mouth, but they tries her best to censor themselves when around kids or people who don't like swearing (at least, if they like said people)

EXTRA FACTS:

Her snake colors and pattern is inspired by the banana/coral glow python

Max enjoys ridiculously sugary and sweet drinks and freakshakes.

Max loves action movies and silly goofy b-movie horror movies, finding them hilarious

They can't sing, at all. But they do make sick beats with the drums, and she is a hobbyist drummer. (She is banned from taking part in karaoke)

Max largely follows punkish/grunge style, but also tends to enjoy including something really bright and colorful to it.

In general she tends to wear one really eccentric statement piece with almost every outfit, or at least one with a very strongly contrasting color.

Max's favorite style of party is treasure hunting, and anytime they celebrate her birthday or something, their friends arrange a hunt of some sort.

She has a habit of jokingly saying "oooo, Shiny!" about anything she likes, not just actual Jewels. It could be a friend, their girlfriend, clothes they like, etc.

Their kind tend to not have ears by default in human form, so if trying to blend in with actual humans, they have to remember to shapeshift their head to include those.

[skysometric]

you went on a big asking spree asking about everyone's favorite games, but I'm curious... did you have a favorite album, TV show, or movie this year?

an EXCELLENT question! but my answers my be a little disappointing, because...

Favorite Movie of 2023

i don't... really watch movies? they don't capture my interest or investment like games do. this isn't for lack of trying over the years, i've been exposed to many different genres; i just don't click with the format, i guess. i think of them like the average boomer thinks of games – they're cute little distractions and not much else.

there's definitely a few movies that i like and stand out as formative memories, i just don't go out of my way to watch more. even before the pandemic i would only ever go to the theaters like once a year, and for most of the pandemic i can't say i watched anything even digitally.

...but that did change this year! my partner and i watched both Sonic movies and the Mario movie at home, and of the three i can safely say i enjoyed Sonic 2 the most! i like what it was trying to do with its two stories intertwined, and it gave Sonic and friends a lot of time to shine both in action and characterization. plus the finale was super cool~

i do have a handful of films i want to watch one day... but it's kind of a "whenever i feel like it" basis. the ghibli films are high on the list, as are the monty python films and the truman show. maybe i could revisit ferris bueller's day off now that i'm an adult...?

Favorite TV Show of 2023

...i also don't really watch tv?? am i boring???

i mean, historically, i've gotten more into tv than movies. i like the long continuous plot threads, i like getting to know characters in detail, i like slice of life and comedy and cartoons. i have fond memories of watching sonic x, spongebob, survivor, and mythbusters growing up!

but like, as an adult i've never seen the office, or steven universe, or adventure time... and i'm in no rush to, they're just not really priority for me. i can't even think of other shows i might want to watch. idk!

i tried to watch some anime at one point but that didn't really do me either? i guess i had some fun watching squid girl a few years back... i think i just get understimulated by just watching things, vs playing them.

confusingly, you know what i do get into? livestreams and let's plays. so my weird, cop-out answer of "favorite series" is that i've been really enjoying Chuggaaconroy's let's play of pokemon bw2. his let's plays have gotten me caught up with a series that i wasn't "allowed" to play as a kid... i guess that's part of why watching someone play a game isn't as understimulating to me?

Favorite Album of 2023

you can probably guess where this is going – i don't really listen to music that plays on the radio or gets recommended by spotify. i have good reason for this one though: music with lyrics is overstimulating to me in specific circumstances, like when i'm working (always) or driving (the only time i'd use the radio).

but wait, movies are understimulating, even though there's talking... and music with lyrics is overstimulating, even though there's nothing to watch... argh! i don't even understand myself!!

either way i usually put on video game music, because that helps me focus at work, and (usually) doesn't have lyrics in it. i'm aware there's plenty of great instrumental music outside of just games, but games already have so much variety and quality to their osts – i've rarely ever had to seek out more! my music collection is already big enough!

my favorite album to listen to this year has been the music that plays in the cyberspace stages of Sonic Frontiers. the full game's ost is MASSIVE and incredibly diverse in styles, but the hardcore EDM of the cyberspace stages is extremely my style. and the remixes they added in the dlc are some of the best ones! been listening to the full playlist multiple times a week all year to power through some rough work days, and it still hasn't gotten old 💖

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Ode to FizzBuzz

FizzBuzz is a kind of old programming problem - one I was really familiar with and primed to excel at due to some unexpected basics of number theory cropping up in Dungeons and Dragons 3rd Edition.

Basically someone gives you a positive integer. Then you start counting, but if you hit a multiple of 3 you say "Fizz" instead of the number you were going to say, if you hit a multiple of 5 you say "Buzz" instead of that number, and if you hit a multiple of 15 you say "FizzBuzz" instead of whatever else.

In D&D 3rd Ed you had some levels that felt really blank and empty, because sometimes devs felt like giving out different sets of bonuses evenly - You'd get a Fighter feat every 2 levels and a regular feat every 3 levels so at level 5 Fighter would feel kinda bored and at level 6 Fighter would get two feats AND a second attack per round. AND all their saves would go up by 1 at 6 while none improved at 5. Bananas.

Anyway.

Most of handling FizzBuzz as a problem is just a matter of

Can you parse what's really being asked of you? and

Can you translate that using the vocabulary and grammar of the language you want to code in?

FizzBuzz, for instance, has a couple things to note:

You need to do something to account for 15s. If you just account for 3s and 5s, you'll end up with this kind of thing:

... 13 14 Fizz 16 ...

or maybe this, if you do back-to-back ifs instead of else-ifs (called "elifs" for short, in Python):

... 14 Fizz Buzz 16 ...

You probably want to include all three non-number outputs as explicit options - with 15 as the first option so it overrides others:

if n % 15 == 0: print("FizzBuzz") elif n % 3 == 0: print("Fizz") elif n % 5 == 0: print("Buzz") else: print(n)

If you try to make it part of the formatting of a single line, you still have to include a line of code that accounts for "what if %3 is also %15?" and you also have to code oddly so you won't run into issues with the if statements not progressing properly:

if n % 3 == 0: print("Fizz", end "") -> This makes it so "Fizz" won't automatically write a new line. if n % 3 != 5: print() -> It'll only write a new line IF it's not also "Buzz" if n % 5 == 0: print("Buzz") elif n % 3 != 0: -> This is the "weird workaround" bit, where you can't just say "else" because you had to use a second if statement to make it possible for both Fizz and Buzz to fire on the same number. print(n)

This also tests how well you understand the twisty ways code gets you thinking about stuff. Because there's a natural temptation to write it in the order the question asks about it: "Fizz," then "Buzz," then "FizzBuzz."

But if you write it "if n % 3" then "else if n % 5" then "else if n % 15," the 15 (the "FizzBuzz") part will never happen. "Else If" only happens if the first case doesn't happen, and "is divisible by 3" will always happen if "is divisible by 15" can happen. It's a reminder to put your rarer and more permissive if-statements earlier if you want everything to occur in its own time.

But wow, though. I'd really forgotten how bare-bones level 5 used to be on 3rd Ed Fighter.

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

part of what got me started (at least in programming) was the autism hyperfocus but the biggest enabler was just an easy and convenient place to start

like if your easiest place to start is fucking around in Lua using computercraft then go wild

because if you feel like you're getting overwhelmed by something going 'okay to get started you have to install these 15 things, change system settings, and okay all these boxes' meanwhile you just want to Start Somewhere, then that might keep you from actually starting, and it's much better to find something that works than it is to keep yourself from ever actually beginning because of analysis paralysis or anxiety avoidance or something

which leads me to: try Python, it's a relatively friendly place to start, there's multiple online tutorial places for it (though i can't vouch for any one in particular), there's generally a lot less having to go around dealing with fuckery to just get it working, and if you want to avoid installing something to start there's Jupyter and Google Colab that let you just do stuff in your web browser (hell i've even used the latter at uni)

beyond language specifics, one of the biggest things of it (at least for me) is admitting to myself that 'hey i have no idea how to do this' and going and asking questions, whether i'm asking That One Friend Who Knows The Things That Work or just a search engine, or checking the documentation, or even something like stack exchange or a discussion forum about the language

there's also having to understand that it doesn't need to be optimized 100%, like, you can make something that maybe could be faster or could use less memory or could be more intuitive, but don't let your fear of not being good at it keep you from doing the thing, because you can optimize a solution that works, but you can't just deliver a nonexistent solution

i get that there's a lot more to it, and the whole "Excellence is not an art, it's a habit. We are what we repeatedly do." really factors into just, knowing how to do stuff, knowing how to do it quickly, but everyone has to start somewhere, and the time's going to pass anyways, just always have to be ready to learn from it and get better

Hi Maia! Do you have any tips for getting started in programing and Computer Science in general? I've wanted to get into the field but just, don't know where to start cause it all feels like a lot vnv

i always struggle answering questions like this cause like i basically got into this stuff just via autism hyperfocus and self learning that way and forcing my way through it like that, but im gonna post this anyways so maybe people in the notes will have better input!!

[breencullen08-blog]

Customers Won't Buy It If They Can't See: Seo Tips

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As discussed earlier in the article, among the hottest trends within the competitive world-wide-web market, is the application of keywords, in relation to search engines like yahoo. Traditional advertising methods do not work with the web. By finding out how this works and just what it way to you, you can stay competitive in the internet business arena.

[viridescent-lance]

aimlessarchery​:

Tea for Three

cursedbluebird​:

Drinking the tea while it was a bit too hot was a sound strategy at the start—the heat numbed the tongue a bit. Doing it quickly left less of it to linger on his tongue, and it had the added bonus of irritating Forsyth with the sharp sound of his lips against the porcelain cup. Truly, he’s doing an excellent job at thriving in this whole tea divination thing. That is—until Marianne’s question hits the air and collides with Python’s chest with all the grace of a sack of bricks. He coughs, saucer and cup clattering together as he rushes to raise a hand to his mouth and wipe the tea awkwardly dripping from his chin. “We're—” His voice is still rough, droplets catching in his throat on his intake of breath. He coughs again lightly into his fist and gives it a second try. “We’ve been attached at the hip since we were kids, if that’s what you’re askin’.” He kicks his foot against Forsyth’s shin again, more a subconscious move than anything else. “Well. Not all the time. His enlistment is what really dragged us closer together. The lord he was signing up for gave out prettier paychecks than any of the odd jobs I was doin’ at the time.”

Forsyth is grateful that he had already finished drinking his tea. If Marianne had asked that question mid-sip, he might be in worse shape than Python currently is.

“I--well--uh--you see, we, erm.” Forsyth doesn’t quite know how to answer this, is part of the problem. How long have they been a couple? What exactly constitutes that? They’ve never even officially put a label on what they are, but the commitment they have alongside the kissing and the affection feels like it counts. “Python is...I...”

And then Python goes and deflects. Answers it in a way that takes pressure off Forsyth, but applies a different sort. What does Python think of their relationship? He's never been the romantic type, and they have a commitment, but Forsyth just doesn't know how to classify it. And it frustrates him.

He kicks back, shaking his head with an awkward smile. He can't be having this happen with poor Marianne here.

"It's been three minutes! It seems my cup is ready." Okay, pivot. This'll work. It is why they're here, after all. It...is about romance, but it's still a welcome distraction. "One, two, flip!"

The first thing that catches Forsyth's eye is a squiggle that looks unmistakably like a snake. You've got to be kidding. Next to it, there's a heart, and something that kind of looks like...a tree, maybe? It can also be a P, which is almost too much. There's a sort of ring shape that repeats itself, and a lopsided sort-of-heart that is directly above the snake.

Is tasseography real? Are Fodlan's gods looking upon Forsyth with some sort of amusement? Forsyth does not know the art well, but he can quite easily discern the ways in which this reading could be initially taken.

"What are your thoughts, Marianne?" Perhaps he is mistaken. She probably has a good explanation for this. She is the one with experience, after all. He keeps his voice even. "Shall we take a gander at the guide?"