#Casey's abandonment trauma

[rottmnt-honeybea]

Mikey enjoyed getting to walk his little nephew home from school. It gave him an excuse to see his brother, and he was usually joined by the future trio who wanted a good excuse to hang out with him.

Of course, being the savior of the world two times over meant that people recognized him, even with his age. With the recognition came the confusion. Mikey wasn't married, or even dating anyone, so why did he have a small child in tow? And why did the young adults his age refer to him as 'uncle'?

"Are any of them yours?" Was a frequent question he'd been on the receiving end of.

Without skipping a beat, he'd answer "no," and carry on his way, with the youngin and the future trio on his heels.

This is so many layers 😂

First, you gotta know that I write a rise oc x canon fic.

Then ya gotta know that I did a Bad Future AU of MY fanfic as a joke so Casey could have some friends his age.

And said future trio (more or less) go back in time for the events of the movie.

Which then spirals into, well, what is life like post-movie? And THAT is where this is. A post-bad-future-good-future-AU

Is it canon to either of my fics? Who knows. But I wanted to draw lil Yoshi again and so I did

[khvlani]

“I knew you in another life. You had the same look in your eyes. i love you, don’t act so surprised” from birds of a feather is so calex coded !!

my headcanon for this would be casey taking a break from being a lawyer (due to the huge amount of trauma that poor baby has gone through) and moving somewhere else to seek the peace and happiness she’s been longing for — happens to be the same place where alex is currently residing.

casey then settles into this life, taking it step by step, finding a temporary home, a temporary job, and all sorts of temporary that could fill the void in her life and ease her stress from all the stuff she goes through as an ADA. she starts of as a barista at a cafe near a flowershop.

the flowershop happens to be owned by a blue eyed blonde, one so smiley, demure, and kind—as the people would say. on her first day off, casey wanders the place and ends up visiting the flowershop and gets surprised when she sees a beautiful blonde handing a customer a bouquet of flowers. she recognized her face before both of them could even look at each other. she knew that person from another life, one she abandoned, temporarily. it was alexandra cabot.

before casey knew it, alex saw her and they looked at each other. they weren’t smiling, but their eyes were, and it seemed that their hearts were too. they greeted each other and catched up. heaven knows the last time they saw each other was when casey became alex’s defense attorney and after that they never crossed paths again.

alex felt warmth and comfort the moment she saw the red headed woman walk in her shop. the feeling felt so unreal. she didn’t believe casey was in front of her. from what she could recall, casey’s hair was strawberry blonde, but now its a vibrant shade of red. she had slight curls showing now, curls alex found adorable. for once, ever since her time in witness protection, she felt happy and at ease. she finally saw the girl she was longing for.

casey instantly connected with alex despite not having contact for years. she could feel her heart jumping up and down, it was as if she found her..soulmate? she could tell how things changed for alex. her hair was shorter this time and the frames of her glasses were different, a lighter version of what she used to wear and take off once she felt annoyed by it. casey noticed the changes alex put on but one thing she noticed that have seemed to stay was the way alex looked at her.

there was something and they both knew it.

the two would continue to speak for days. overtime they learned about each other’s lives, why casey left manhattan, what alex has been up to since witness protection, and how life has changed for them. but one particular day, alex brought up their last meeting, recalling it like it was just yesterday, except she begins comparing the changes she’s noticed.

“i love how you still look at me the same, though,” alex smiles, staring at casey’s green eyes. the red head chuckles, looking down “how do i look at you, then?”

“like you know and understand me,” the blonde’s brows furrowed. “like, i might be delusional in this part,” she let out a nervous laugh as she looks at her hand, playing with it, avoiding eye contact. “like, what, alex?” casey was getting curious. “like you wanted to, nevermind that,”

“it felt like a warm hug” she says.

“the way i looked at you?” casey asks, raising a brow. alex responded with a nod, looking at the flowers near them. “what was the other thing?”

“huh?”

“the other thing, when you said nevermind. i feel like i have an idea, and if it is the same thing, then you are right,” casey says tapping alex’s knee making her look at the woman in front of her. “i might be right then” casey smiles. “it made me sad when you left without saying goodbye, you know” the blonde laughed. “i was gonna shower you with congratulatory phrases until it led to me asking you out,” casey smiled.

“well, lucky for us, we met in a not-so-another lifetime” alex states, smiling at casey who looked at her, once again, in the same manner she did years ago. “except we’re different now”

“not that different though, you said i look at you the same” casey smiles, her dimples showing. “yeah, and until now, you still do”

[commanderbuffy]

Sapphic Books Reccs

Here is my list of recommended sapphic books! There’s a lot of YA here since that’s a lot of what I read. Everything on this list I have personally read and can recommend. I’m sure there’s a TON out there I haven’t read or ones I have read and have just forgotten!

Contemporary

Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail by Ashley Herring Blake (Adult)

My favorite of Blake’s! Enemies to lovers. SO good.

Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake (Adult)

A woman falls for her step-sister’s best friend. Oh, and there’s a kiddo in the mix as well.

The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth (YA)

Two girls promise a summer of fun full of rom-com worthy dates. The only rule, no relationships. Just one summer, nothing more. Sure....

Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick (YA)

Amnesia fic where a girl forgets she ever met her secret girlfriend in their ultra-conservative town.

Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar (YA)

Fake dating between the girl who wants to validate her bisexuality to her friends and the girl who doesn’t mind the popularity boost.

Her Name in the Sky by Kelly Quindlen (YA)

Best friends to lovers! A big piece of this is also the friend group involved.

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli (YA)

Imogen thinks she’s just an Ally. Spoiler alert: she’s not. I loved the way friendship was explored in this. You see some really solid friendships as well as a subtly toxic one (that’s acknowledged as such).

Late to the Party by Kelly Quindlen (YA)

An ode to late bloomers and a journey to self-acceptance. A girl goes to her first party, befriends a gay guy who introduces her to new group of friends and one really cute girl

Margo Zimmerman Gets the Girl by Brianna Shrum and Sara Waxelbaum (YA)

Super fun involving a girl asking another girl fo “Queer 101″ lessons. Bi and Autistic rep too!

Perfect on Paper by Sophie Gonzales (YA)

A girl gives anonymous love advice and gets hired by a hot guy to help him get his ex back. Really FANTASTIC bi rep!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston (Adult)

A sexy time-bendy romance with so much heart

She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen (YA)

My FAVORITE rom-com. I reread it constantly. Fake dating, enemies-to-lovers between the cheer captain and basketball star!!

She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick (YA)

Two girl team up to get their crushes to fall for them and start developing feelings for each other along the way.

Six Times We Almost Kissed by Tess Sharpe (YA)

Childhood frenemies forced to move in together for their best friend moms’ sake. Trauma filled and SO SO good.

Some Girls Do by Jennifer Dugan (YA)

A fun rom-com between an out queer athlete and the local beauty pageant queen.

We Are Okay by Nina LaCour (YA)

One of my favorite books of all time. A story about grief and friendship and love. A soft, quiet story.

Who I Was With Her by Nita Tyndall (YA)

A girl’s secret girlfriend dies and she is left to grieve alone until she finds herself turning to her girlfriend’s ex.

Science Fiction/Fantasy

Crier’s War by Nina Varela (YA)

A romance that leads to revolution by between two girls: one human, one Made

The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow (Adult)

This is historical and fantasy! Suffragette witches! Another one of those books I wish I could read again for the first time. Three sisters, one of them has a WLW romance

Thriller/Horror

Hide by Kiersten White (Adult)

A high-stakes hide and seek competition in an abandoned amusement park. One of my all-over favorite books of 2022.

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland (YA)

No wlw romance in this one, but the main character and her sister are both wlw. My absolute favorite book of 2021. What I would pay to read this for the first time again.

The Girls I’ve Been by Tess Sharpe (YA)

The daughter of a con artist is finally allowed to stop running and faking her identity, only to get stuck in a bank heist with her ex-boyfriend and current girlfriend.

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand (YA)

Three girls who shouldn’t have a reason to team up together against an ancient evil. The new girl, the pariah, and the queen bee who’s been helping the evil all along. I have reread this book easy a dozen times.

Throwaway Girls by Andrea Contos (YA)

When a girl goes searching for her missing best friend, she finds a trail of other missing girls and battles with heartbreak after her girlfriend leaves her for California.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power (YA)

Quarantined at her girl’s school after a gruseome Tox breaks out, a girl must find what happened to her best friend who’s gone missing

Historical

Great or Nothing by Joy McCullough, Caroline Tung Richmond, Tess Sharpe, and Jessica Spotswood (YA)

The queer Little Women retelling we all deserve with a SAPPHIC JO! Set in 1942. Beth’s POV still haunts my heart

A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray (YA)

Two of the major supporting characters are WLW. This becomes more important and on the page in the later books in this series, but this is the first one.

Music from Another World by Robin Talley (YA)

1970s California. Two girls become penpals and bond over music.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (Adult)

Hollywood icon Evelyn Hugo famously had seven husbands. This is the story of her wife.

[caseyjones-junior]

casey jr headcanons- hobbies

Casey is always down to do whatever someone else wants to do. When he’s around others, he usually relies on joining in on whatever the mad dogs are up to as he’s not one to be left out of the bale. He learns by repeating and is perfectly content with following. It’s nice to be included even when he has no idea what the hell is going on!

He’s happiest with active hobbies. He loves hiking, hockey, basketball, volleyball, bowling, incline skating (a personal favorite way of traveling around the city), parkour, judo, fencing, darts— you name it, he’s played it. The more dangerous and heart pounding the better.

Swimming in the ocean is a big deal for him. He never learned to swim in the apocalypse because the ocean, and most natural water systems, became dangerously acidic. After being taught how to swim (mostly by Donnie), ocean swimming becomes a very relaxing experience for him. Getting thrown around by waves, nose and mouthfuls of salty water, floating totally surrounded by water and the clear sky above him— there was nothing else like it in his future.

Although he works well in a team, Casey finds peace when he’s doing things alone. He’s not a huge talker and he likes to observe and explore.

Urban exploitation is one of his biggest pastimes. He doesn’t know that it has a name and a community, it’s just something he naturally does on his own. He can be found swinging between buildings with his grappling hook, climbing up scaffolding and abandoned factories, evading security cameras, and recording everything he sees in his mask. Occasionally he’ll free fall from skyscrapers. It’s not uncommon for the mad dogs group chat to get the occasional photo of what he found interesting.

Video games can be fun for him too but it depends on the type. Certain genres stress him out. FPS games tend to remind him of certain traumas so he avoids those or will leave the room if one of the boys are playing them. Open world, sandbox, and role playing games aren’t his thing. He gets stuck on character creations and choices.

Small, easy games with clear objectives are right up his alley! Having never played video games in the apocalypse, he’s very bad with most mechanics so the fewer buttons and menus the better. He’s very good with technology but viewing tech as anything other than a tool or weapon confuses him. Things that seem intuitive or obvious for most elude him or boggles his mind, but he’s willing to suspend his disbelief and just go with it. He prefers handheld games that he can take to bed and will sometimes fall asleep playing Pokémon, Nintendogs (digital dogs are much safer than real ones that remind him of krang hounds), and Pac-Man (he’s a nintendo baby).

[tending-the-hearth]

MORE TURTLE ANGST AU BECAUSE TURT ANGST

because i am very very obsessed with versions of the turtles meeting each other i couldn't stop thinking about the utter angst that would ensue but also the softness and slow found family vibes

specifically the 2012 turtles meeting versions of themselves where tang shen doesn't exist, where splinter's entire world is the turtles + april

the 2012 turtles meeting, say, the rise!tmnt, the bayverse!tmnt, or the mutant mayhem!tmnt?? versions of the turtles whose splinters never had a serious love interest prior to their creation, whose love and attention was always solely focused on them?

i'm thinking about bayverse!splinter, who sacrificed himself for his boys without a second thought, who finds out about another version of himself who has all but pushed the turtles away, the precious turtles who are the light of splinter's life

mm!splinter, who literally was desperate to keep his beloved sons protected from possible dangers, who faced his greatest fear in order to help his boys, seeing how broken, how tired they are.

rise!splinter, who, despite how it seems, can and will put his boys above everything else, who cannot even fathom the idea of not wanting his sons around, of falling back into his life before the boys, seeing these versions of his sons be so easily abandoned

just... the 2012!turtles meeting different versions of themselves, and meeting different versions of splinter, and being so fully prepared to recieve that same cold shoulder, only to be gathered into warm embraces, and have gentle, fatherly reassurances whispered to them.

and they're rightfully hesitant, they're unsure, because having your father immediately turn to his original family without a second thought leaves some lasting trauma and pain, but they can't resist falling into the different splinters' arms, pouring their hearts out as they cry and listen to advice that only splinter can give.

and somehow, idk maybe the donnies make dimensional transport watches bc that's definitely a thing that would happen, so visiting the different dimensions, and hanging out with the different versions of themselves + splinter becomes a weekly thing. and slowly, the 2012!tmnt bring the other versions to their own world, introduce them to xever, and chris, and april, and casey, and the mutanimals, and it slowly spirals into all of them getting together and hanging out.

and the 2012 boys slowly start to realize that they do have a family. it may not be the one they thought they had, but it's even better, and full of people who truly love them.

@queen-with-the-quill @madcatgurl

[jasminegazer]

HAPPY LEAP YEAR DAY!!!

As tribute to the special day I have used Raph and Donnie to redraw them as Jennika and Venus in Tottmnt. I can only hope that I can look back in 4 years from now satisfied that at least one of these amazing characters officially made it into the show.

As a bonus I’ll also lay down a story line for Jennika for Tottmnt that I think would be great. If you want to see my storyline for Venus click this.

Jennika started out as a human girl. Her parents abandoned her on the streets of New York as a child. Eventually when she was on the brink of starvation, Jennika was picked up and taken in by the foot clan. There she would grow up in the same squadron as Karai. The two became super close and the greatest and strongest in their group. The shredder decided to “adopt” Jennika making her Karais second in command. The two love each other and will protect each other at the cost of their own life and more. Eventually the two would be called on by the Shredder to do investigation on the turtles. Though she was hesitant, Jennika let Karai go to spy as regular teen alone while she was left to lead their squad. When Jennika was left on her own without Karai to correct her she started to get nosy and suspicious about what the her father was really trying to do. Things only got worse she started to cover for Karai and the two started to lean towards the turtles side. The night after Karai left the foot, Jennika found out what the Shredders true plans were but got caught. She was held as incentive for Karai to finish her job and turn the turtles in. Instead of turning them in, Karai teamed up with the boys to save Jennika. But it was a trap. A huge fight broke out in one of the old TCRI factories where they had been trying to make super soldier serum. In the end Jennika stepped in the way of a deadly blow from the Shredder saving her sisters life at the cost of her own. Without thinking, Karai used the unfinished serum and some of Raph’s blood after Donnie found out that their blood was the only thing TCRI was missing and he offered it. This turned Jennika into a turtle like the boys and made the girls team up to defeat the Shredder permanently. Jennika would become close friends with the turtles and their friends especially Raph and Casey. She is very hot tempered and aggressive but also wise, independent, protective, and strong especially when it came to dealing with trauma and ptsd after not exactly having the greatest childhood(being abandoned, raised by the Shredder, and almost dying would obviously do that to a person). I kind of see her and Karais relationship as like a Shinigami and Karai thing but with less shipping and more sister love than anything.

Happy February 29th!! Hope to be happy with Tottmnt in 2028! Cowabunga turtle fans!

[aspen-washere]

!!!CHARACTERS IN THIS AU ARE CURRENTLY UNDERGOING A REDESIGN!!!

ALL OR NOTHING MASTERPOST!

Hello hello hello!! This is the masterpost for my tmnt fan iteration/au, All or Nothing, aka aon!

This iteration takes place in 2019, and follows the turtles and their buddies as they fight against Shredder, the Foot Clan, Karai, and the Kraang. Things get dark quickly, even if things seem silly at first

The Turtles

In order from oldest to youngest, we have the four turtles. Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo. They live in the sewers with their father, Splinter, and live there peacefully for the first 14-15 years of their lives. They live specifically in an abandoned subway area, much like the rise boys.

April+Casey

The turtles met April on their third trip topside. She witnessed one of them falling into a dumpster late at night , while she was in the process of sneaking out. Of course, this is April O'Neil, aspiring news reporter, she can never just let things go. She went to investigate the four strange turtles and ended up becoming friends with them. They tend to hang out late at night at parks, or in the sewers. The turtles met Casey through April. He wasnt very fond of them at first, but ended up warming up eventually. He hated donnie for about two months though

Side Characters+Mona Lisa

These characters are more minor characters [aside from Mona], but they still play a part in the story

!!TRIGGER WARNINGS!!

yes, these will all come up in art and comics. linked art that is green only has mentions of these. art that is orange will show these. blue will be for censored versions of gore [which will be red]

Generally dark subjects/themes

Kidnapping

Non-consensual human experiments

Generational/childhood trauma

Mentions of weed/drugs

Entomophobia [fear of bugs]

Emetophobia [fear of vomit]

Violence

Blood

Electrocution

Child abuse/emotional neglect

Transphobia/homophobia

Blood/gore

Amputation/limb loss

Heavy themes of PTSD/trauma

Self harm/suicidal ideation

[this is subject to change. please keep these in mind]

Art/Actual content

Main Comics

1

Side Comics

n/a

Art

Rough Night

idk cute raphmona thing+part 2 of them making out

Shitposts/ect.

Lets take Ibuprofen/T together Leo

stfu casey [jonatello]

[minefield-of-a-ninja]

All fics are 18+ ONLY unless otherwise noted

SERIES

*at least three parts or chapters

28 Days - AU Dean Winchester x several AU SPN characters

Summary: Dean Winchester is an addict and an alcoholic, a USMC veteran, a father, and an older brother. As Battalion Chief with Lawrence Fire & Medical, Dean comes under investigation when he makes a dangerous and impulsive decision, defying his superiors and abandoning the team he is supposed to lead. He is given the choice to go to rehab for 28 days, or jail. His lawyer insists on rehab, and Dean begrudgingly abides.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Emma Winchester, Jack Kline, Victor Henriksen, Jo Harvelle, Gordon Walker, Bille, Crowley, Rowena, Missouri, Meg, Pamela, Gabriel, Lydia, Casey, Jamie, Carmen, Tessa 

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, emergency action, fire, drug use, thoughts of death and dying, teen endangerment, references to underage drug addiction and prostitution, partially told through flashbacks 

Words: 33K

Author’s notes: Inspired by the film 28 Days and following canon themes from SPN, this is a fic about Dean, a firefighter who goes to rehab, not about Dean as a firefighter.

And Then There Were Three - Winchester brothers x original female character

Summary: Natalie and Dean are in a “not serious” relationship until one night, she and Sam take a step that will change things forever.

Warnings/tags: 18+ONLY, rough sex, squirting, anal sex, butt plug, bondage, dirty talk, orgasm control, double penetration, polyamory, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 13,500

Black Tie Optional: sequel to Plus One - Dean Winchester x Vanessa (OFC)

Summary: The last time we saw Vanessa, she was swooning over Dean’s lasting impression. Now, we fast-forward a year to see what she’s up to.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC Vanessa Martinelli, (eventual) Sam Winchester x OFC Emma Olsen

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, HBO RomCom bullshit

Words: 17K

Combat Baby - Dean Winchester x Jo Harvelle

Summary: canon divergent - Dean’s sweet, but Jo likes him nasty

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, rough sex, biting, dirty talk, brief name-calling, exhibitionism, role play, squirting

Words: 3,073 WORK IN PROGRESS

God Only Knows - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: One weekend, years ago, lives rent-free in both of their minds. Three-part mini-series.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, pining, clothed sex, couch sex, hungover sex, fluff, roomies to lovers, idiots in love

Words: 5,500

If We Make It Through December - Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum

Summary: Donna is horrified to learn that the boys have never had a proper Christmas, so she invites them to her house for the holiday.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Donna Hanscum, Sam Winchester, Jody Mills, Claire Novak, Kaia Nieves, Patience Turner, Alex Jones

Warnings/tags: there was no rebar, 18+ ONLY, fluff, light angst, domesticity, holiday celebrations

Words: 12K

The Kinda Girl You Like - Winchester brothers x original female character

Summary: After Sam reveals to Sofie his sub that he likes to watch, she decides that they should act on it. Then he tells her what exactly it is that he likes to watch…

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, sub-sharing, bondage, rimming, the jockey is my favorite sex position, dirty talk, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 6,500

Leaving Heaven - Dean Winchester x Taziana Smith (OFC)

Summary: Tazi is a bounty hunter of mostly human things. She isn’t firmly seated in the supernatural world, but she’s familiar enough that she’s recruited by an old friend of John Winchester’s to capture and deliver a brief acquaintance of her own.

Characters: MOC/Knight of Hell/Demon Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Crowley, Lee Webb, original characters

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, brief dub-con, mentions of the foster system, references to past rape, commiserating over childhood trauma, threats of sexual violence

Words: 16,500 WORK IN PROGRESS

The Mud On Your Boots - Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum 

Summary: Dean and Donna finally give in.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, dirty talk, fluff, consent is sexy, period sex, fisting, blood as lube, shower sex

Words: 8k (permanent hiatus)

Plus One - Dean Winchester x Vanessa (OFC)

Summary: Vanessa hates weddings until she meets a handsome stranger who agrees to help her mix things up for the night.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, fingery things, squirting, and Dean has no refractory period bc this is fic

Words: 9,600

Pretty Reckless - MOC Dean Winchester x pre-slayer Faith Lehane

Summary: AU where s10 Dean stumbles upon another hunter so much like himself. When their connection grows inexplicably stronger, they find an answer they never thought existed.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Faith Lehane, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Crowley, Cain

Warnings/tags: 19+, rough sex, prostate massage, magical bond

Words: 15K

Run Me Like A River - AU Dean Winchester x AU Jessica Jones

Summary: AU wherein Jessica Jones is super-powered by gov’t experiments to create elite soldiers, the Winchesters are military officers in humanity’s War Against Evil, and they have all gone AWOL from their assigned roles. Dean and Jess embark on a relationship that ends abruptly and explosively until Dean calls her for help on a very personal case.

Characters: Jessica Jones, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Arthur Ketch, Malcolm is Jess’s cat 

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, major character death, unhealthy relationship dynamics, bondage, rough sex, anal sex, ptsd

Words: 14K

Seasons - Dean Winchester x unnamed female character

Summary: She is his safe haven, untouched by anything else or anyone. 

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, canon divergent - no Cassie or Lisa, non-linear storytelling, four seasons, angst, hurt/comfort, references non-con unprotected sex, loss of a pregnancy

Words: 12K

Temporary Scars - Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum x Benny Lafitte

Warnings/tags: 18+, Angst, Donna has intimacy issues, Dean’s the sweetest, self-sabotage, sort of established relationship, Benny’s swoony as fuck, Dean’s in love, polyamory, pregnancy kink

Words: 4,500 (permanent hiatus)

Unopened At Your Feet - AU Sam Winchester x female narrator, AU Dean Winchester x female narrator

Summary: This is the story of how I broke my own heart.

Characters: Female Narrator, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Becky Rosen, Meg Masters, Benny Lafitte

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, weed-smoking, canon-compliant date-rape/roofie (Becky), love triangle

Words: 12,470 WORK IN PROGRESS

Where Is My Shiny Gun? -  Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum (voyeur Sam Winchester)

Summary: canon divergent - Sam finds himself in a quandary when he realizes he has feelings for Donna by way of the obvious mutual attraction between her and Dean.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, Sam is kinky, Dean is adorable, so is Donna, Dean likes to give Donna massages, Sam directing while masturbating, brief spanking + breast slapping, brief knife play - no blood, W*ncest adjacent

Word Count: 7,800

ONE-SHOTS

A Fight For Love & Glory - Winchesters x you (female)

Summary: You’re struck by sex pollen, so Sam and Dean agree to help you out.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, sex pollen, feelings of guilt, ass play, dirty talk, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 2K

Bad Girls Underneath -  Ruby 2.0 x Dean Winchester x Jo Harvelle

Summary: Ruby and Jojo get hit by a sex curse again; this time, they need Dean’s help.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, magical-dick/male-gaze bullshit, probably too much commentary and emotional complication, why am I like this, I’m sorry, sometimes I can’t help myself, fisting, brief choking

Words: 2,600

Cactus - Dean Winchester x Meg Masters x Castiel

Summary: Post-battle, exhausted and wanting, Dean and Meg and Cas take care of each other.

Warnings/Tags: 18+ ONLY, dreamlike sex, a little choking, Dean’s always hungry

Words: 3,200

Caveat Emptor - Dean Winchester x original female character

Summary: Gabriela Cruz invests in a Victorian mansion in the middle of America where the rule of Buyer Beware is absolute. When her twin sister goes missing, a couple of federal agents show up. Lucky for Gabi, Dean and Sam Winchester are on the case.

Characters: Gabriela Cruz, Camila Cruz, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Ed Zeddmore, Harry Spangler

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, language, mentions death of family members, cursed object, mentions of blood + gore, sarcasm, twin dynamics, explicit sex

Words: 4,600

Crazy On You – Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: You’ve had a shitty day, but this beautiful, unfamiliar boy will make it all better.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, Impala Sex, there’s a knife but not in a bloody way

Words: 4K

Crossroads and Bound - Dean Winchester x female demon reader

Summary: He agreed to this.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, femdom, Dean’s tied to a chair, wearing a cock ring, face sitting, things might get a little rough, but it’s all in good fun, squirting

Words: 2,250

The Curve Of Your Pretty Gown - Dean Winchester x female reader

Request: Hey hon! Ok, so it’s my birthday today, so maybe a story about Dean surprising me/ the reader by turning up unannounced to wish me/the reader a ‘happy birthday’ and there’s lots of smut ❤️

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, a little angst

Words: 2,200

Deep - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Dean shows you more about pleasure than ‘deep’.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, Dean being perfect, sensual massage, Dean being the best lay ever, biting, Dean being a fairytale prince, the jockey is my favorite sexual position, try it, it’s amazing, talking during sex, gratuitous use of terms of endearment bc it’s Dean

Words: 3K

Discord and Rhyme - Knight of Hell/Demon Dean x female reader

Summary: He’s on the prowl.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, rough anal sex, crying during sex, blood during sex, there’s a lot of purple prose and excessive descriptions of taste and smell here, sexual coercion, dirty talk

Words: 1,750

Ennui - Knight of Hell/Demon Dean x unnamed female character

Anonymous Prompt: “I really want demon dean stalking someone but I don’t know how to do that with consent? But guh just the thought of him.

Characters: Knight of Hell/Demon Dean Winchester x unnamed female character

Tags/warnings: 18+ only; this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester; stalking; exhibitionism; voyeurism; dirty talk; horny on aisle 3; fuck it, we ball

Words: 2,400

Equilibrium - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: They have balance.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, established relationship, cock warming

Words: 1,400

Get Down, Make Love - Winchester brothers x original female character

Summary: Steph decides to cut loose and push the envelope with her favorite fellow hunters.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, hot tubbing, drunk sex (consensual), dirty talk, mfm spitroast, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 3,200

Hark and Hush - Purgatory Dean x wolf spirit in a female body

Summary: This is the story of how Dean Winchester hunted, became enamored with, and slew the ancient spirit of the Big Bad Wolf.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, stalking, blood, gore, rough sex, character death

Words: 2,200

Hide Your Love Away – Dean Winchester x female hunter reader

Summary: Mutual hunters seek comfort for a night and a lifetime of memories.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, ass play

Words: 3,600

His Sword - Michael/Dean x female prostitute

Summary: Michael takes some time to remind Dean who’s in control.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, edge play, bondage, knife play, blood play, choking, rough sex, name-calling, character death

Words: 2,300

Just My Imagination - Dean Winchester x female Zanna

Summary: After Mary leaves the boys a second time, Dean needs a reset, or to blow off some steam – something. He heads out on a snowy evening the night before Christmas and finds just the right thing.

Warnings/tags: mature, Hallmark channel fuckery

Words: 2,800

One Night Only (23 in 1) - Dean Winchester x Mila (original female character)

Summary: While on a job in the middle of America, Dean enjoys a rigorous night of mutual gratification with a local art student.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, ass play, shower sex, dirty talk

Words: 5,500

River - Dean Winchester x Ty (Original male character), Dean x Benny implied

Summary: It’s Dean’s first winter after sending Benny back to Purgatory.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, implied underage prostitution, semi-public sex

Words: 1,600

Rules Are Rules - MOC Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Dean hasn’t been himself lately. The Mark has seen to that.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, hand around the throat, rough sex, squirting

Words: 2,400

Shattered Like A Stone - Demon Dean Winchester x original female character

Summary: The Mark is demanding, and the demon in Dean can’t deny it any more than he can deny her; it just might get everything it wants tonight.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother’s Dean Winchester, rough sex, bondage, multiple object insertion, suicidal ideation, darkfic, self-destruction, bloody sex, sadism and masochism, anal sex, Jameson as lube, spit as lube, face fucking, Daddy as title, misogynist language, choking, strangulation, assisted suicide

Words: 6,800

Some Stranger’s Hand - 2009 Dean Winchester x 2014 Risa (The End)

Summary: He lost everything.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, plush pink pillow lips for my Eloise

Words: 1,700

Spark, Flicker, Blaze - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Somewhere along the line, her life became something she didn’t like. On her 35th birthday, she makes a decision to change all of that.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, overly descriptive orgasms, Dean’s the best birthday present ever

Words: 2,200

Stuff & Thangs That Are Awesome… And Not Awesome - Dean Winchester x female character (1st person POV)

*TWD Crossover

Prompt(s): 1) Dean has been arrested twice for indecent exposure – once was in a grocery store. 2) Jensen or Dean x Reader, a small public place, he pins you to the wall, covers your mouth and fucks you. 

Characters: Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, Rick Grimes eye-fucking, Shane Walsh having a pissing contest with a young, cocky Dean Winchester

Words: 1,300

Supernova - MOC Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Since Dean’s had the Mark and the Blade, he’s pulled away from you, afraid of hurting you. You miss him, and you’ve had it. One night you push him to the edge.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, bondage, blood play, biting, bruising, knifeplay, rough sex, dubcon/mindfuck

Words: 2,500

Triptych - Dean Winchester x bisexual female couple

Summary: Dean’s on a case and meets two beautiful women. One of them is recently divorced, and the new couple invites Dean to help them kick off their new life together.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, sex toy, Dean’s real good at sex

Words: 4,700

Wait Till My Brother Gets Home - Winchester brothers x female reader

Summary: She wants to lose control.

Warnings/tags: 18+ Only, rough sex, hair pulling, mfm spit roast, bruising and chafing during sex, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 2,450

When We Fall Then We’ll Know Each Other - Dean Winchester x Benny Lafitte (voyeur Castiel)

Prompt: “There’s nothing wrong with women, but a woman can’t hold you down and fuck you like I can.” 

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, cum and spit as lube, anal sex, voyeurism

Words: 1,400

QUICK AND DIRTY

*1K words or less

Barbed Wire Carnival - Choose your own Winchester

Summary: Absence of feeling.

Warnings/tags: mature, angst, dark descriptions

Words: 300

Brimstone - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: He’s exactly what she wants.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY surprise, bitch

Words: 450

Bring It On Home - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Let’s pretend Dean wouldn’t be terrified to welcome love into his life.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, established relationship, comfort, fluff, handsy Dean

Words: 1K

Communion - Dean Winchester x female reader

prompt: Fluffy dean or Jensen smoking weed plz, ty

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, marijuana use

Words: 1K

Crash Through The Surface - Dean Winchester x Jasen (original male character)

Summary: Dean remembers his First.

Warnings/tags: mature, bi-sexual Dean, references to prostitution

Words: 800

Custard Pie - Dean Winchester x female reader

Prompt: Dean/OFC based on Led Zeppelin’s ‘Custard Pie.’

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY oral sex

Words: 800

Drag You To The Shore - Dean Winchester x GN reader

Prompt: Dean Winchester settled in between someone’s legs on the bed. Like his back to their chest, their legs wrapped around him, heels keeping his thighs open while they jerk him off, explicit but soft vibes.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY

Words: 800

Fall Away Into - Dean Winchester x Ruby 2.0 x female reader (voyeur Sam Winchester)

Prompt: “Dean x reader x Ruby 2.0 with Sam watching from the corner.”

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY drug-induced sex, OOC Dean, mff spit roast, use of the word bitch during sex, rough sex, hate sex, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 530

Foxholes - Annie Hawkins x Bobby Singer/Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester

Summary: Annie recalls time spent with each man and what their facial hair told her about them.

Warnings/tags: mature language and references to sexual activity

Words: 349

The Gazelle - AU Dean Winchester x AU Benny Lafitte x female reader

Summary: They aim to please.

Warnings/tags: mature, power exchange, Denny apparent

Words: 1K

The Good Slayer - Dean Winchester x Faith Lehane

Prompt: Dean and our girl Faith. (This is a sequel of sorts for Pretty Reckless.)

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, talking during sex

Words: 800

Hollow - MOC Dean Winchester x female reader

prompt: Would anyone be willing to write something with Dean [or Jensen] x reader to the song Love on the Brain by Rihanna

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, dirty talk, rough sex, angst

Words: 1K

I’ll Keep Them Still - Dean Winchester x Jo Harvelle

Summary: Dean remembers promises and pictures in his mind. And he remembers her.

Warnings/tags: mature, songfic, angst, dream/afterlife sequences, purple prose, I’m sorry

Words: 1K

Just One More Peaceful Day - MOC Dean Winchester x female reader

Prompt: angsty Dean with the line “I can still remember just the way you taste” from the song “It’s been a while” by Staind

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, blood play, knife play, mentions of addiction

Words: 700

Laissez Les Bons Temp Rouler -  Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: He’s got a dirty mouth when he’s drunk. 

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, dirty talk, a dirty public bathroom during Mardi Gras

Words: 600

Lifting the Veil - Choose Your Own Winchester

Summary: You’ve been missing something of paramount importance - until now.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, infidelity, squirting

Words: 1K

Mind Blown - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Mind-blowing orgasms can sometimes be literal.

Warnings/tags: mature, transient global amnesia after sex, dirty talk

Words: 560

Nihilism - Knight of Hell/Demon Dean x female reader

Prompt: Can you tell me about the morning after going several rounds with Dean he rolls over in bed and adjusts the covers, causing you to forget your shift to be his good girl a couple more times?

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, this is not your mother's Dean Winchester, name-calling, rough sex, nihilistic themes, Knight of Hell Dean, fantasies of being fucked to death? Idk it’s one of mine, might as well be yours, you’re female AFAB in this scenario

Words: 800

One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today - Dean Winchester x female reader

Prompt: before leaving on a hunt, Dean sings “Love Me Two Times” to his lady.

Warnings/tags: 18+ ONLT, Dean can actually sing, and he does it during sex

Words: 660

The Prerogative To Have A Little Fun - Donna Hanscum x Jody Mills x Winchester brothers (kinda)

Prompt: Donna’s visiting Jody for the weekend and the boys swing by on their way home from a hunt. Dean mows the lawn, Sam fixes a leaky shower head, Dean makes dinner, and they both do the dishes. Meanwhile, the ladies sit back and enjoy the domestic display.

Warnings/tags: mature, men doing manly things, inspired by Shania Twain’s song “Man! I Feel Like A Woman”, W*ncest adjacent

Words: 1K

Recompense - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: Dean is sorry for hurting the ones he loves.

Warnings/tags: mature, angst, Dean saying hurtful things then trying to make up for it

Words: 500

Scream - Dean Winchester x past-female reader

Summary: Dean tells us the real reason he loves “All Saint’s Day” as much as he does.

Warnings/tags: mature, references to coming untouched, getting turned on by scary movies

Words: 320

Soft Cell - Dean Winchester + teenage female

Prompt: Dean + reader dancing in the bunker

Warnings/tags: one F-bomb bc Dean

Words: 720

Through The White Night - AU Dean Winchester x original female character

Summary: 18th Century matrimony isn’t as simple as it is today.

Warnings/tags: mentions of wall sex and finger-y things

Words: 560

Wish - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: You want it to be love – but it isn’t. You want him – but you can’t have him. 

Warnings/tags: mature, sepia-toned angst ™ @boondoctorwho

Words: 765

With Pleasured Hands - Dean Winchester x female reader

Summary: He’s got secrets she has yet to uncover

Warnings/tags: mature

Words: 500

[firstprince-ao3feed]

it's hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound

by dreakawa He hears it the first time as a child. Five year old Alex Claremont-Diaz, bright eyed and beaming, explaining to a kid on the playground how cool it Star Wars is and how he wants to be just like Luke Skywalker when he's older. He's rambling, eager to share his excitement with his new friend… until the boy rolls his eyes and says the words that would follow Alex around for years after. “Oh my god, would you shut up? You talk too much.” (Or: Alex's struggles with himself and his eventual breaking point.) Words: 2677, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 10 of FirstPrince Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, June Claremont-Diaz, Nora Holleran, Liam (Red White & Royal Blue), Ellen Claremont, Leo (Red White & Royal Blue), Oscar Diaz (Red White & Royal Blue) Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Angst with a Happy Ending, One Shot, POV Alex Claremont-Diaz, Childhood Trauma, Alex finally stands up for himself, Alex Claremont-Diaz Loves Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has ADHD, Alex Claremont-Diaz Needs a Hug, firstprince, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Baggage, Abandonment Issues, Henry is the best boyfriend, Alex's family means well via https://ift.tt/A1FqXms

[ljsarts]

Here’s a big old infodump on Mari Matilla an AW 2 oc who's little plot and background I kept on adding to for the last month or so till it spiralled into a fully fleshed character-

I briefly mentioned Samy and Mari’s dynamic in this post so this is more focused on Mari as the remaining Matilla sister.

Warning its a long post I've tried to section out but I thought i better post it now or i never will so oops here we go ALSO spoilers for the entirety of AW2 just to cover my bases

Tldr basic info-

Name: Mari Matilla 

Nickname/mean rumour name:  ‘Mary Shell-y' 

(Anglicised her name to Mary if people mispronounce it enough) 

Close Relatives: 

[Deceased] twin Sister Sam Matilla.

Estranged Mother Francesca Matilla. [Alive]

Stepfather Micheal Matilla. [Annoyingly Alive]

--

Name: Samy matilla

Nickname: ‘samwich’ a highschool nickname that Samy tried to spread herself that Mari will not let her live down. 

Close Relatives: (same as above but was secretly still in contact with their mother Fran) 

Died : 2022 spring swimming in cauldron lake.

The duo moved to bright falls in Spring 2019.

Works at the summer general store before the lake is closed off to the public. 

Samy Drowns and she moves into the general store basement in 2022. (Year before the nightingale murder and the events of AW2). 

--

Additional oc Outside the Matilla family:- 

Name: Satu Barkley 

Nickname: Sparky

Works for Biltmore’s Logging camps, mostly delivers the logs but won't skip the opportunity to do some log splitting. Her Hobbies vary from wood carving to hiking and darts. She met and ended up dating Mari after getting set up on a blind date with her via their shared friend Rose Marigold. 

--

Family:-

Recently Mari Lost their twin sister Samy Matilla violently to ‘the cult of the tree’.

Her ‘murder’ happened a year before Saga and Casey arrived to investigate Nightingales murder. 

This death in the family leaves her alone in Watery with only the company of their senior dog Charlie, a greying jack Russel with a laziness problem.

Mari makes do with the little family she has left (literally little Charlie is tiny even for his breed she jokes he's shrunk as he's got older)- not having many relatives nearby as a support system considering she ran to bright falls after cutting contact with everyone but her sister in 2019.

Before her Grimm passing the twins had very little other family than distant (both physically and emotionally) aunts and uncles as well as having a mother and stepfather they'd cut contact with for good reason. 

The ’murder‘

The grizzly ritualistic murder of Miss Matilla and Mari’s trauma from discovering the gruesome aftermath (only being drawn outside by Charlie howling at the cultists outside) has led to her becoming an elective Mute when encountering about 90% of the town. 

Because of the cult's anonymity Mari lacks any kind of mutual trust in the majority of the town growing paranoid that anyone could be a cult member after her too to finish off the whole family.

This paranoia in turn led the non cult members of the town to be suspicious of her being that she somehow didn't hear the murder happening right outside her home at the time (staying for the summer in the general store by the lake). 

All they'd heard was that her sister had been murdered right on her doorstep and she'd just slept through the ordeal only waking when it was too late. 

The truth being that Mari had been up the last two nights looking for her sister who'd set out to go swimming in the lake despite her protests that those waters were not safe.

See She'd been too swept up on scouring every inch of the woods after finding Sam's bag, shoes and phone sat on the edge of the lake just abandoned that she hadn't called her in missing in town (not daring to leave the woods) . And even after spending the full day searching she didn't trust the police to come looking for her either. 

This lack of sleep from searching day and night meant she had passed out on day 3 and slept through the cults ‘murder’ ritual never knowing that her sister was long dead before the cult began attempting to carved her heart out (Samy having been drawn into and drowning in the lake while trying to disprove her sisters worries about her. Samy following a ‘figure’ into the waves).

The town also was not aware that at that time the three of them (Samy, Mari and Charlie) slept in the basement of the old general store, meaning even if Mari had been awake she wouldn't have heard a thing anyways. (This doesn't stop her blaming herself though).

They also didn't know that Mari had stirred that night at the sound of the howling and barking making it out of the general store door rifle in hand a moment too late only seeing deer masked figures fleeing into the woods and the telltale pattern of her sister's dress covering a bloodied and water trodden body splayed out on the picnic bench. She'd rush out not realising she was screaming already and try to shake her sister awake to no avail. 

Seeing a body

 something there , 

not her sister

 not anymore. 

The sun would rise by the time she called into the sheriff's office. Hand still wrapped around her sisters, hair wiped off her bloodied face with loving care and blanket pulled over her so she wouldn't get cold.

They'd come within the hour and cordon off the area.

She'd only let go of her sister’s now Ice cold hand when another would grab hers leading her off to the car park in silence. 

Mari had been taken to the police station to fill out all the reports and witness forms not really saying a word just in shock. They'd ask if anyone could come collect her and when they received a shake no offer a lift back up to the store to get her things. 

Later on she'd be silent still as she begrudgingly brewed coffees for the sheriff and deputies up at the general store while they took the body and photographed the crime scene. 

They'd comment on how the heart had been half carved out sliced open shoddily but not removed properly like the other victims and that the noise of the dog howling and the lights of the store turning on must have put off the ‘killers’ assuming someone nearby was watching them (at least that's their running theory).

Aftermath- 

Mari gets very intense surrounding the investigation into Samy’s death. She finds out from her autopsy some key facts that don't add up - 

Samy's lungs were filled with lake water - logically yes she drowned in the lake so how did she walk up back to the general store where she got murdered.

Her mottled skin and appearance applies more to a body that's been in the water for weeks not mere days at most. 

The cult still seemed to have tied down Samy’s body but the marks on the body would coincide with her being alive at the time of the ‘murder’ and pulling against said restraints. 

In Mari’s mind she can only comprehend two ideas- 

Either one : Samy almost drowned in the lake barely surviving and after being lost in the woods for two days finally struggled back home to the general store getting picked off like a wounded animal . 

Or worse, the cult tortured her by waterboarding her in the lake only to grow ‘ bored ’and kill her up by the general store as a threat. 

In either of these options one thing remains - guilt Mari feels such a deep gnawing guilt at not running after her sister after Their fight at not checking up on her sooner knowing the lake had a history of drownings. 

It had to be her fault , hers and the cults. 

The police (well really just the Sheriff since he's the only one who can relate to Mary having hallucinations having his own about shapes in the night) considered making a recommendation to go to the cauldron lake clinic after some pretty horrendous ptsd episodes and bouts of insomnia began occurring more frequently to Mari leading up to deer fest.

These recommendations definitely did not arise because she accidentally punched a newbie cop in the face who mistakenly jumped out at her from a dark corner with a deer fest mask on while trying to prank their coworker). 

These episodes are all being triggered by the surrounding deer imagery of all things. Why'd the cult have to pick the town's mascot of all things, why not a wolf or something scary?.

Mari denies the help initially. Partially on lack of trust and partially because in her own words-

‘Im not fucking crazy Breaker alright! I just get spooked by y’all running up on me all the time with this stupid deer fest shit it's every day and it's it's everywhere in town already the festival’s not for another month and a half alright! Why? why are they rushing?’ 

It takes one pretty rough breakdown and waking up in an open holding cell  on a Sunday morning with no recollection of the *last ten hours for her to finally realise yeah getting help might be the best thing for her sanity and safety right now. That or moving out of town forever and that's not an option in her mind. 

*Those missing ten hours consisting of her actually getting the courage to shoot at a cult member missing by an inch, fleeing badly on foot , getting caught , kicking screaming and exchanging punches, just to then in a fit of rage screaming at them to go ahead kill her like her sister only to get *bonk* knocked out cause a taken was approaching and they didn't have time to explain to her what actually  happened with her sister. A cult member dropping her off at the station steps as a ‘drunk and disorderly’, their fellow cult members in the police station getting her inside and checked over. 

Satu the lumberjack picks her up from the station in the morning with coffee , an ice pack for that possibly broken nose and therapy enrollment forms alike in hand. 

These outbursts lead to her becoming even more of a social pariah, seemingly an outsider against small town customs .

But In Spite of said episodes she still aims to be polite when she does choose to speak to the townsfolk.

She always pays promptly and tips well in the dinner; 

she'll smile back at the townsfolk as she walks by when taking Charlie to the town park to chase pigeons.

When she stocks up She nods along with cashiers gossip trying to remember who's who and waits while they give Charlie all the fuss his old little face can handle. (Which is surprisingly a lot , he loves all the attention).

Most of all when she heads back to the woods she's never late for work.

Not that she could be late considering she works  alone as pest control and wildlife management in the acres surrounding the lake.

She only visits town to stock up on supplies every month or so and since Rose in the Dinner is about the only person she’ll hold a full length conversation with in town , her social skills have been lacking as of late. (Not that she has great ones to begin with)

She thinks Rose is ‘weird’ (heavy quotes weird)  like she is , changed by all the weirdness in this town.

She’d never admit it but she feels Like something is following rose around too, a darkness that dims the usual sparkle in her eyes sometimes or a daydream on the air she gets lost in.

Not that she'd admit to spending way too much time staring into Roses' silvery eyes though.  

But she knows Mr Wake writer extraordinaire is Rose’s ~ one true love~ and she's only a pinch jealous . Though she does love to hear her excited reviews and ratings of - ’the best Casey novel in her opinion , or are we talking about most engaging ?or ooh! the one that the critics like the most? cause that's a controversial pick in my opinion~’. 

(Oh and Mari totally didn't get accidently spoiled by Rose about Casey dying in the last book when she’d just decided to start reading them.)

After her sort of one way crush faded a bit and Rose and her became more besties , Rose tried and succeeded to set her up on a blind date with a local lumber worker who Mari had met in the past delivering logs up to the general store -  Satu Barkley.

A broad shouldered gentle giant of a lady who Mari sees as way out of her league but who seems to be pine-ing (pun fully intended) just as much as her. 

They bond over a shared love of woodwork with Satu carving a little wooden raven to go on Samy's grave and a little wooden wolf for Mari to wear as a necklace Mari immediately swooning. 

Satu becoming the second person she feels safe  enough around to talk to freely when she comes to visit the lake and deliver logs. 

Work-

Work has been weird too lately. 

She used to work in the bustling old general store with their sister before the whole park got shut down. 

It was a dream I mean sure the summer rush was always hard to stay on top of  but the work kept her mind occupied and sharp , it was a challenge and made the quiet evenings afterwards so much more rewarding. 

Worth the struggle just to get to see the sunsets  and hear the full array of seasonal birdsong , the cool breeze through the woods slightly chilling the skin. 

Her sister always the overachiever would spend the summertime working by Maris side part time shopkeep but  full time most days ‘idiot supervisor’ (her own words) or rather doctor and emergency first aider. (Spending the rest of the year working in the wellness centre) 

Having worked in emergency medicine in a Vancouver hospital before moving to Bright falls to live with her ‘runaway’ sister, Samy knows her way around your miscellaneous woodland injuries handling the splinters to sprained ankles and the more grizzly injuries too with equal measures of care. 

Those summer days in the store by her side the lake and the woods felt even  

brighter,

warmer,

kinder than usual. 

The woods used to be alive with a beating heart of campers and birdwatchers, the odd ‘guided adventure tour’ by the Koskela Brothers too travelling down the trails like veins through the woods.

Now they're just too quiet.

The only harsh sound being the consistent clanging and buzz of the monitoring station in the hill a crude noise cutting through the bird song in the morning 

Moving on-wards-

When the general store got shut down the two of them had moved back into an old cabin their aunt  owned that they'd inherited after she passed in 2019 , (this inheritance prompted Mari cutting contact and moving).

The cabins Situated just outside the town's borders up in Watery, but the two secretly keep the keys to visit the general store every summer and fish the lake. 

Mari couldn’t bear going back to the cabin without her sister ; all her clothes laid out for work tomorrow , all the sticky notes reminders the plants in the window unwatered. That whole cabin  just felt like an open unhealed wound .A living tomb dedicated to a woman who'd never step foot in it again.

She'd slept in her truck that night and sold the place to whoever would move in the quickest, this person ironically being Satu who was a little shocked to see Mari just up and leaving. 

After she'd  gathered all her sister's and her stuff on the back of the pickup truck she'd left for the woods. 

And Once she'd found the old store keys and  some solid padlocks  she'd set out to bunker down in the basement of the  abandoned general store. It was the warmest down there and had been least hit by the elements being some old bunker design from way back when the caldera in the lake was more of an active threat.

(Listen please okay , I sleep deprived Luc editing this backstory right now  knows that there isn't a basement but I forgot that the first cult encounter happens in the general store and it's inferred they chill out in there too so we're shifting from the og idea of living in the general store to a second location , for story purposes she's hiding out in the fictional basement keeping Charlie entertained with a bunch of tennis balls and chew toys while the cults lurking above like a fox beneath the hunters, she's covered the hatch to the basement with moss and scrap wood it's all good alright… at least for now).

The store itself is broken down in patches, it's overgrown in others and the patches between those two variables aren't looking too good either.

But It's familiar , it's safe enough 

If only it wasn't close to where it happened. 

She keeps envisioning that day over and over , rushing out to Charlie's howling , seeing shadows scatter into every corner of the woods.

Seeing her. 

Trying to perform CPR on someone , something long gone, a bloodied chest and empty eyes. Just a shadow of the bright bubbly sister she'd angrily yelled goodbye to a few days prior. 

The blood on her hands grew as cold as the one she clasped. 

It's always the same nightmare , the same moment until eventually it's just silent rest .

Maybe she hopes deep down by staying in that dingy building by letting it rot around her bit by bit.

By being in that right place at all times she can stop the cult using the woods for their murders and make them slip up somehow.

That she can be there when she wasn't before awake and watching. 

It was a stupid and under-thought out plan but it's all she can think about now , the what ifs that might have saved her sister , that could save another soul eat her alive in the silence like rust through iron slow moving but persistent till the end.

She spends weeks out at night tracking , documenting and trying to hype herself up to take a shot at these cult members. Trying to detach herself from reality by hyping herself up going ‘deer hunting’ never quite having the bravery to pull the trigger once and for all. Hell when she finds an old Halloween mask- a wolf while clearing out boxes for memories she dons that imitating the very cult she's trying to catch out. 

Her days, unlike her nights, are monotonously spent culling ‘ diseased ‘ wildlife for the weird company she's found herself working under. They say their pest control and testing wildlife so they can provide treatment and preserve the species in the woods. She doesn't ask questions , the pay is a little too good to be true but it's paid on time and she doesn't have to worry about being late. 

This constant prowling of the woods A dedication to surrounding the lake is why she kicks herself when she returns from a monthly supply run to find the area cordoned off with a dead FBI agent there splayed out contorted just like her sister was.

Nicknames- 

After a few days of near encounters with the cult she hangs tripwires at the front doors attached to chimes she makes from razor clamshells taken from the lake, the one on the front door additionally bearing the old door's entrance bell in its centre for extra volume. 

Gossip, well more a cruel mythos started spreading of a ‘Mari shell-y’ a week after the Chimes went up.

The story goes that when two rangers came to check on the abandoned store after seeing smoke in the forest that they reached for the doors and were ambushed by tripwires of shells wrapping tightly around their arms, the chimes breaking in the process.

That ‘Mari the shell lady , the weirdo in the woods who lost their voice in the lake, had finally gone looney and is collecting shells to fight off the “witch's powers”’. 

She persuaded the rangers that she was just lighting a fire to mask her scent, and  that she was on the job- tracking some weird wolves in the woods with rabies , emphasising how rabid and uncontrollable these wolves were to the rangers, this task putting them at enough unease to leave promptly with a ‘-good luck with that’. 

Interaction/encounter wise within AW2 

(Disclaimer I wrote the majority of this stuff while watching a play through of aw2 and was only on the first few chapters of the game so there's some bits that are out of sync with the main plot)

Overarching plotline of Mari like most Bright Falls inhabitants is just a ‘so bad very bad day worst day of their life’ plot. She doesn't influence the progression of the main story and is more just another victim of the horror genre narrative demanding sacrifices barely surviving it's attacks on her ‘Until Dawn style’ (Emily from until dawn my beloved inspiration).

So Mari’s arc Aka ‘Mari will not die in spite of the world trying it's best to axe her’ (wink wink) begins with a nice calm start in the oh deer diner:  

After Rose gives her ‘remember me? , weird your back cause…’ speech to Saga and she's gone through both conversation roots, Mari can lightheartedly bantering with Rose at the counter of the oh deer dinner about how-

M- ‘the animals in the park, well around the whole lake are acting weirder than usual lately like really off putting, more aggressive, almost rabid, think it's just the changing of the seasons getting to them?’

R- ‘must be that volcanic ash in the air their studying down there, you should mask up breathing all that dust in all day and night oh and get a little doggy sized mask for Charlie to wear you'd match’ 

M- ‘we would (she grins) , you worry about me too much though Rose’ 

R-‘well someone's got to , I mean just look at you’ 

M-‘hey!, I'll have you know this is my best shirt I ironed it and everything’

R- ‘oh really? So that's why you wear it every time you're in town hmm? S’got to be the fourth time I've seen it this year’ 

M- ‘you try living in the woods with a senior dog who's always needing carrying I'm sure all your clothes would be finely pressed and smell like daisies’ 

R- ‘daisies and roses. well,  at least I know what to get you for your birthday’ 

M-’ a new shirt?’

R- ‘shush you'll ruin the surprise’

Mari doesn't really speak to Saga in the dinner but will nod when noticing her and smile genuinely (if a little anxiously)  at her if approached before turning back to the counter and the paper sat on it before her. Giving Charlie scritches behind his old scruffy ears, who sits next to her on a pulled across diner chair.

--

General Store Basement introduction- 

Saga and Casey can encounter and interact fully with Mari in a night-time/late evening cycle of exploring around cauldron lake anytime after the first overlap events/ first encounter with the cult occurs.

When returning to the murder site A trail of fresh blood not washed away by the rain can be found and observed leading from bushes nearby to the general store.  

Meeting Shelley for the first time she'll be hunkered down in the deepest corner of the general store basement 

. 

To get in you'll need A key for the front door that can be found using the flashlight as its hiding spot on a small metal tin is marked by fluorescent paint.

Several shell tripwires can be inspected and disarmed outside the doors and windows, some of the windows are hammered shut shoddily with long nails sticking out of the frames.

Unlocking the front door and delving into the general store again , several objects are disrupted 

- a table is shattered, legs strewn apart , several frames off the walls smashed on the ground and a cult mask sits on the floor brandishing some dog sized chew marks.

-Following the trail of blood leads further into the store and to the attached laundromat room where one washing machine has been pushed out of place revealing a hatch concealed below it.

Below the general store in its basement Mari is found on her last tether.

Being guarded by a quietly growling charlie (you know that sort of old dog rumbly growl they have?) And with A shotgun raised shakily she crouches in the farthest corner of the store wide eyed at the intrusion and visibly bleeding. Having been shot in the shoulder , rough gauze is wrapped haphazardly around the wounded area but She looks palpably pale and clammy. 

The shotgun is leaning awkwardly against her stiff bracing shoulder twitching much to her dismay and Charlie the jack Russel sits tucked onto her lap.

Saga can de-escalate the situation by showing Mari her badge and introducing herself and Casey, commenting on recognising her from the dinner in town earlier and asking about her dog. 

‘She's Charlie , She's harmless, really more talk than bite. Not that she could bite with her old teeth, give her one of these biscuits off the counter and she'll be your best friend’ 

A dog biscuit can be retrieved and  given to Charlie who softens up at the approach.(And yes you can pet the dog)

When Mari finally calms down she'll  crumble a little bit from the stress and alot-a bit from the general blood loss.  

Saga can then ask her name and ask about the gunshot wound :

Asking about the name triggers her to recognise the last name Matilla as one of the previous victims of the cult commenting on the incident occurring around a year and a month ago and how the victim looked identical to her minus the haircut.

Mari winces at the comparison, combing a hand through her hair she clarifies Samy was, is , her twins sister and almost spitefully asks why they've turned up now of all times to look into the murders,she calms though saying it's atleast better late than never.  

Asking about the bullet wound prompts Mari to comment on it not being as bad as it looks, 

‘I was just bunkering down for the night getting Charlie her dinner when I got ambushed by this smokey figure? Like not smoking burning like an enveloping aura of sooty air must be the fucking volcanic ash shit from the lake’ , she quietly adds “I haven't been drinking I swear.’ when Casey's eyes fall on the array of cans on the table. 

‘The shot though that went clean through and it's missed the brachial plexus see’ , 

holding up her hand she clenches and unclenches her fingers a few times it's weird though there's two of her fingers on this held up hand missing old wounds scarred over.

‘It all still works just hurts like a bitch , missed the subclavian artery too, still made a mess of my good shirt though and Im supposed to wear this to date night tonight :( ’. Mari is scarily calm for someone who's been shot. 

Casey comments on the formal medical knowledge Mari seems to possess but rather lacking medical application of the gauze on her shoulder.  

She divulges that her sister used to pop quiz her on the parts of the body, the challenge growing along with her growing up from bones to muscle systems to arteries and where they are a great way to pass time on long summer days.

All great fun at the time  but in hindsight it would have been better in this case to have been taught how to bandage said body parts.

Casey has some medical training from a previous operational medicine program he gestures for her to approach so he can adjust the gauze and the two agree to answer some questions in exchange for them just double checking that shoulder wound and rewrapping it (concerned by how pale Mari looks). 

While Casey's sorting out that shoulder wound Saga can explore this corner of the basement further around where Mari has crumpled down She has several frankensteined together sketches of the cultists faces from memory watching the cultists hiding in the different areas around the lake, noting down details when they'd lift masks to take sips of beers or drunkenly letting them slip off entirely.

Yellow and pink post it notes , receipt paper ripped from the cash register , and lined stationary paper are  stuck haphazardly to a corkboard against the wall with whatever Is available . 

(Casey's pretty sure there's a few empty pens stabbed into the cork in more than one spot.)

While Saga is looking around Casey can ask about Mari’s hand if it's a ‘New wound? , looks old from the scarring, that from a cult attack too? ‘

She clarifies no an old wound from when she was a kid , an accident with an unsafe bear trap, not that there is a safe bear trap for a child to be left around and supervised by  a ‘distracted’ stepfather on a hunting trip. 

She changed the subject pretty quickly and apologises for the shell alarms out front.  Commenting on the rumours and nicknames around her,

Casey in turn comments on the choice of names saying it's cruel when a nickname sticks , mari sympathises making a guess that having the same name as a fictional character must come with a lot of jokes and jabs.  

Casey asks how she can be staying in the general store and not have heard the murder happening right outside. 

Saga, equally confused, clarifies their here because of an FBI agent being murdered on the picnic table outside. 

Mari stumbles back up to her feet and with some assistance closes the hatch door , the room immediately falling deathly silent of the sounds of the outdoors now locked away. 

Didn't hear a thing. I'm afraid it's an old bunker design sturdy as anything but soundproof too.

Mari promises to head into town to get the shoulder looked at and as Saga and Casey head out to explore the cauldron Lake area she can be heard calling up Satu to come and pick her up trying her best to downplay her injury and saying it was an ‘accident’ while cleaning her rifle.

Escalation /second worse encounter:( aka the angst zone of Samy the dead sister returning.) 

Her sister was buried in the woods near the lake wanting to be surrounded by the very nature she coveted . Her grave being marked by some small memorial rocks from mirrors peak and carvings of a crow , a bear , a little wooden duck and other trinkets left by visitors. Fresh flowers sit picked from the surrounding area. 

Saga can on her travels around bright falls encounter a manuscript page that details a horrifying encounter - an empty grave and a taken soul rising up to lay it's last family member to rest beside her in that woodland tomb. 

Of a shadow imbued figure clawing out of the dirt handful by gritty handful and brandishing an axe ripped out of a cedar tree stump,  carving its way through the general store's front door like a horror cliche , the shell chimes rattling a final death rattle. 

(this next bits a little messily written i won't lie i love all the manuscript pages and the style of writing in the game but i cannot imitate it i do visual art not written so shoutout fanfic and authors this is harddd.)

 “Beyond the door , her last remaining protection Mari  Matilla , still recovering from her bullet wound burning a hole in her shoulder, is frozen in place staring in wide eyed abject horror at the looming figure on the other side of the splintering wood.

This figure who shares the same face , the same blood now cold no longer pumping through dead veins looms forward through the gash in the door.

A single white eye peers through the crack sunken into it's hollow socket, the creature smiles a sickly grin too wide for it's face.

She swings her axe bringing the door down with it charging through the threshold , with each slamming step Mari snaps out of the ever growing fear in her heart willing herself to just move! as the axe comes slashing down again.

Finally it  makes contact, clipping her ankle with a sickening thump. Bone exposed  She screams the world all crashing back down around her at once.

‘The light , the basement. The light will keep me safe’ she thinks and so she dives for that sunken room. 

Gunshots ring out in the distance , safety , a chance at survival; she knew who it was, the only one brave enough to be out in these woods alone , Saga Anderson, her hero.

 she screams again louder than before: 

 ‘SAGA she's Here Help me!’ she just had to hold on a few moments more. Just a few moments longer. The creature a mirror of her lurches forward for the basement door and-”

The rest is scratched out. 

The page ends before anything else can occur saga sets off back to the lodge as the day draws to an end.

-- 

On the way to cauldron lake she calls Casey and tells him where she's going, chasing after another page by our best selling author friend she's pissed she asks why he'd write something like this into reality. 

He tries to explain that he doesn't remember writing this but writing in the escape , writing in that saga is there to save her and that the basement full of lights is the safest place for her to be. That sounds like what he'd write , from what he knows that that is how he can help. 

‘its a horror story all of this is I have to stay within the narrative tropes but you can change it's ending it's not written yet there's always a final girl right who barely escapes but not unscathed?’

When she arrives at cauldron lake it's dark the sun's setting , as she approaches down the hill from the parking lot she encounters several taken , gunshots ring out and she hears from the general stores direction screams for help exactly as written she just prays Charlie and Mari have reached the basement , sprinting towards the store. 

The sister's warped and ritually sacrificed body has become a taken a hollow hole in her chest, hair slicked to her face and hands bloodied .

((I have two visual ideas for this currently. One is that she sort of floats above the ground like a body floating face down in the water. Or alternatively upright usual axe swinging but her hairs sort of floating behind her and clothes slightly flowing in a current we can't see)).

She has dirt across her arms and under her fingernails having crawled and clawed her way out of the grave. Stumbling back to her place of death hearing Mari whistling as she cooked, her attention drawn and a rage at her own death bubbling up inside her. 

She screams out at her in its distorted voice ‘ why weren't you there ? Why did you leave me to die? What sister lets her sister die in the cold in the dark ? Look at me, You wretched bitch look at me!’  

When saga arrives to save Mari she can look around and find the shallow grave empty and flooded with lake water, the coffin floating atop and  ripped open. Reaching the general store front door is destroyed ,  Mari surprisingly isn't dead but has barely contained ‘what was samy’ in the basement of the general store. Rattling and slamming can be heard against the basement hatch upon arrival that goes scarily quiet when Mari calls out to saga again. 

She's blood splattered and with one arm weakly cuddling Charlie and is pretty sure like 90% her ankles fully broken (saga is more than sure it's broken she's pretty sure it's been slashed by an axe swing and maybe broken too who knows but she's trying not to panic despite being able to see bone) saga quickly sets to scouting around finding something to splint the leg with and something to cover the basement hatch with that's heavy. 

Mari's struggling in the sort of blood loss delirium but asks saga (when she brandishes her weapon of choice and flashlight to go head down into the basement with) to please please leave her be,

Mari asks why she's like that why she came back like that, 

She confesses quietly that she hopes that whatever has brought her back can purify her if ,  if they just wait long enough right , keep her in the light? She doesn't know how she knows but she just knows the light will fix her. It's a fact in her mind now the light is safe and she can be safe again. 

She has to be right? . 

M: ‘I just , I mean , she's talking. She's breathing what she's saying is cruel, sure but it's better than silence. Please don't hurt her, what would you do ? What would you do if Logan came back out of the Lake please just leave her be’ 

It seems the story has warped Maris memory of events aligning it with Logan drowning too.  

Saga sympathises with Maris grief but stands firm on Logan's condition ,with both hands on Maris shoulders reminds her that -

 ‘Logan isn't dead. Your sister down there? she’ doesn't have a heart ,

theres post mortem autopsy incisions across her chest Mari , the woman she was, your sister , who you cared about so deeply , that you feel so guilty about not being there to save that version of her she is gone and that thing in the basement is just a vessel being puppeted around,  a shadow of who she once was . whatever that is now it is not your sister it's a monster , it's dangerous and it will kill you if we don't kill it’ 

The Frankenstein's monster - part beloved body - park lake darkness, trapped in Mari ‘Shelly's’ basement and wanting revenge upon her misguided ‘creator’- Mari feeling solely responsible for the argument that led to Samy going to the lake. 

(Am I forcing this concept too hard? Yeah absolutely, probably but oh well it's fun and stupid too something something seeing the humanity in someone you've lost coming back wrong even if this vision is clouded by your own remorse). 

Ultimately Samy ends up breaking out of the basement if Saga approaches and/or leaves the area and Saga has to put her down fighting in the limited space of the general store trying to lead her away from where Mari and Charlie are cornered. 

After defeating Samy , Mari will be in tears but gather herself as the trio make a break for the car park , the escape sequence set off by a loud rattling of all the shell chimes outside  and a growing dark presence outside warping the scenery. Mari can carry her own flashlight helping to stun enemies and throwing out the odd flare but is slow moving due to the ankle wound and dog on her hip.

(no she will not leave the dog she'd rather die ) 

(I'm imagining Kind of like the AW1 section where you're getting Barry Wheeler across Anderson's farm - defeat a wave or two of taken and then rush for the exit no cool rock number though but alot of ambient sound - storm , shell wind charms etc). 

After getting their leg seen to properly, splinted stitched, wrapped and painkillers prescribed by Doc Nelson and an ambulance called .she gives the excuse some poachers put bear traps up in the woods and that luckily Saga was in the area following a lead and was able to open the trap for her. 

He half buys it considering there's a record that Mari lost two fingers as a teen to a bear trap but doesn't ask further questions considering she's been escorted to him by an FBI agent who still has some blood splatter on her coat.

After aftermath: 

It takes a few days to overall emotionally recover  from the horrors ™. But once she does recover Mari can then be found half the time hiding out in a makeshift room in the ‘employees only’ room in the back of the oh deer diner. 

She refuses to stay in a hotel or home saying she's not getting taken out in her sleep after surviving all this. It takes s while for Satu to persuade her to move back to the cabin with her (mari joking they’ve only been together 6 months and already moving in how forward~)

 . 

Rose agrees to watch over her when she’s in the diner she can until everything's sorted out. 

(And lend her some actually daisy smelling shirts joking she bought the detergent just to prove her wrong) 

The reward for getting Mari alive out of the taken onslaught is a charm she offers that reduces the damage you take from axes (thrown or melee) by 50 percent. It's shaped like a little shell and hook.

Eventually Mari starts spending her daytime out of the back room and in a corner booth of the diner. She doesn’t want to be idle so spends some time folding napkins and cleaning cutlery whistling little simplified versions of the chapter songs as the story progresses. 

Charlie settles really well into her corner booth of the dinner enjoying pancake scraps from the chef and scratches from the patrons equally.

I think at some point after the events of AW2 when she finds out about everything (the cult, the taken etc) she ends up having a bit of a fighty argument with Ilmo only to falter when finding out his brother's death. 

She gets closure from knowing while her sister probably did suffer drowning in the lake she wasn't tortured or aware (as far as she knows) as a taken when the ‘cult’ got her.

Other little details/ miscellaneous plot beats i didn’t know where to put:- 

Mari feels like the failure of the family in her eyes. Her golden child sister got her degree worked in a hospital and seemed to have her life together while she just struggled to figure out what she wanted. That's why she feels so bad that Sam died, not her because she feels she wasn't doing enough with her life while Sam had so much more to give. She learns to push through this guilt and live for the both of them by the end.  

Mari lost two of her fingers ( pinky and ring) in an accident with a bear trap when she was little. Her stepdad at the time forced the two twins out in the snow to go hunting despite their protests. Mari was a good shot but didn't enjoy the cold. She'd never seen a bear trap before and then suddenly bam no pinky or ring finger. Stepdad freaked out calling for help and scrambling while Sam stayed calm checking on Mari and talking to her to keep her from going into shock. Since that day Sam's always been Maris' hero. And since that day Samys always knew she wanted to be a doctor to help people like her sister in crisis.

While Mari was born before Sam , Sam has always been the ‘ older’ sister of the twins. More mature in nature and in ego.

The day after Sam dies Mari lops half her hair off because she looks too much like her sister. In turn this makes her look just the same as she did when they first moved to bright falls (partially symbolising how she's set herself back in time healing wise by not confronting her grief). It only kind of works so she gets rid of the mirrors in the cabin.

Maris' fatal flaw was her devotion to killing the cult, it drove her to insomnia, dehydration and overall not taking care of herself . 

She obsessed over unmasking a group that she'd fallen for the publicity of. 

Spending months in total out in the woods at night , a wolf mask worn to conceal her face stalking the cult never brave enough to pull the trigger and take one out but Internalising the same ideology the cult used to detach themself from the rituals (telling herself ‘ it's just deer hunting , their not people just pull the fucking trigger’) even at times almost getting caught after hallucinating her sister by her side taunting her to take the shot.

she thought they were evil and had murdered her sister but she ultimately (by the end of the game/her character arc) ends up being told the truth and convinced to either work with the cult to take down taken (as a parallel to Ilmo losing a sibling but having the community for support) or teaming up with rose as a body disposal guy. (Since The hardest part is hiding the bodies ; D) she laughs about it in hindsight if only she'd known from the start how different things could have been.

[junglekarmapippa]

N is for Nightmare

It had taken RJ physically getting to them and press the button on their morphers to get the three unconscious teenagers out of the quarry and into town.

RJ teleported to the same spot and started to check their vitals again.

He looked around and saw the emergency personnel helping the people the Rinshi had hurt during the attack.

"HELP!" RJ yelled at the top of his lungs, his eyes going from one of his students to the next. "SOMEBODY, PLEASE, HELP ME!"

He heard feet running in his direction. Two EMTs, a man and a woman, reached him and his fallen students.

"We had agreed I'd pick them up from here a few minutes ago," RJ started. "They wouldn't pick up the phone..." His voice broke as the EMTs worked on Casey, Theo, and Lily. He swallowed. "I came out of the car and came looking for them."

"Do you know if it was the monster who did this?" The male EMT asked.

"No," RJ said, despite his entire being wanting him to say yes. "I found them like this."

Watching his students' armors explode around them mid-air and disappear before they hit the ground had made RJ's blood run cold, his stomach sink, and his brain go into overdrive.

"What's your name, sir?" The female EMT asked, softly pushing him away from his students.

"Robert James Finnsen."

"And their names?"

"The blonde boy is Casey, the other boy is Theo, and the girl is Lily."

"Where do you know them from?" RJ didn't answer immediately. He was distracted looking at how they were putting his students on stretchers and putting oxygen masks on their faces. "Robert!" She called, shaking him.

"Sorry, what?"

"Where do you know them from?"

"They're my children," he replied, watching an EMT sticking a needle into Casey's arm.

He heard things like "MRI", "Call in three severe traumas" and "let's hope nothing else is broken". Then, something that brought tears to his eyes: "Let's do our best, and let's pray they make it".

"Robert?" the EMT called again, here hand on his shoulder. "What do you mean they're your children?"

"I'm their foster father."

"I see. Well, we're taking them to the General. We'll meet you there, okay?"

"Okay."

He didn't get to see them again. After being in the hospital for one hour, Theo succumbed to his wounds are died.

They let RJ see his body and he held Theo's still warm hand and he wanted to tell him to just find that good state of mind again. But there was no mind. What lie in front of him once contained Theo but it wasn't him. He cried in absolute pain.

He had failed him.

He returned to the hallway when the morgue technicians came for Theo's body.

It was 10pm when he lost Lily.

The pain of losing Theo had begun to go numb when they told him Lily had exhaled for the last time in the ICU.

He started crying with abandon, the whispers of 'Not Lily' escaping his lips many times.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He was engulfed in the most absolute pain, and nothing could make it better.

He didn't have the willpower to stop crying or heaving. He sat in a corner of the room, his face hidden in his hands.

"Mr. Finnsen," the doctor called softly.

RJ looked up at him and he felt his very being shatter. "Please," he begged. "Not Casey," He grabbed the doctor's coat. "Not Casey, please, not Casey," he begged again.

"I'm sorry."

"No, not Casey..."

"He left us two minutes ago,"

RJ felt himself shatter. He knelt on the floor, wailing. His eyes burned from the tears. His throat felt torn by each wail of absolute pain. The air got stuck in his throat and never entered his lungs.

He wanted to die with them.

The image of the armor exploding around them came back to his mind like a castigating whip, making the wound rawer.

His rangers.

His students.

His children.

He took in a sudden breath and opened his eyes. He found himself lying on his bed, covered in sweat, his face crossed with tears he had cried in his sleep.

He sat up slowly, feeling dizzy. His head hurt, he was having a hard time returning his breathing to normal. It was a nightmare.

It was just a nightmare.

He grabbed the shirt he kept by his bed and put it on, walking out of his bedroom in absolute silence.

He walked over to Theo's room and found him asleep over the covers with a book on his chest. He took the book and put it on the nightstand, watching Theo breathe as he slept. He managed to throw a cover over him without waking him up.

He went to Lily's room and found her deeply asleep, her face calm, almost smiling, in the moonlight. He watched her breathe for a few moments as well.

Last, he went to Casey's room. He was asleep spread on his bed, snoring softly. RJ smiled and watched him in the moonlight as well.

He walked back to his room. They were okay. They were fine. Not dead, only asleep.

He sat on his bed and took off the shirt.

"I will not fail," He promised them in a barely audible whisper. "I will keep you safe. I promise."

[yellowhollyhock]

We have Donny talk to his bros about SAINW but what if he talks about it with his girlfriend Angel? Imagine the angst.

awwwww yis

Angel lost her mom when she was little, her dad left. Her Gramma was grieving a daughter she'd had a rocky relationship with, and kind of old to have a little kid. The sense of abandonment and desperation to feel truly Independent and therefore Secure (can't be let down if you never rely on anyone) is strong. When Angel's struggling that's where she leans; when she's healthiest, trusting her friends is a big strength because it's a choice she's made.

So; SAINW. Donny doesn't know why he disappeared. He was already a fixer but this exacerbates a need to always have the solution because the interactions he had in that other dimension very much almost explicitly taught him that the reason for their suffering was his absence. Mikey's 'where were you,' Leo and Raph unwilling to even be near each other until they saw Don, April tells him Master Splinter and Casey (both of whom he's just learned died) never gave up on him. A sweet moment for sure but think about the young teenager processing that and incorporating it into his worldview. If you let them down they'll die believing you. It falls to you to make sure this horror future doesn't happen.

And there's not any clear specific way he can avoid it because he doesn't know what happens to him.

So being a mutant turtle Donny already wasn't planning in getting attached to anyone, y'know? I kinda think that's why he always flirts at least a little with any girl they meet, not as a deliberate thing, but meeting a new friend would always be especially exciting because of the unlikeliness, and it's very easy to develop crushes when you're so isolated, and also easy to kind of act on them if, in a way there's not a risk because you already feel sure it isn't going anywhere.

I got off topic. Telling Angel about SAINW

-scary to get attached to her because what if he disappears one day

-Angel, already protective and deeply fundamentally afraid of being left behind, learning that he might just straight up disappear one day

Also a big thing with SAINW: after realizing that specific timeline isn't happening (tunneler destroyed), and once there isn't an immediate crisis to deal with, Don's got a delayed grieving process to go through for his family from the other timeline (not that he didn't mourn before but it comes in waves). Complicated by the fact that he feels guilty for mourning his family when they're literally right there (his btts arc. unnnng).

Well it really never occurred to him to be sad for the alternate version of himself. In his mind it's all him. His disappearance, his failure, his brothers whom he led to their deaths.

Angel, the more she learns, is very much mourning for Other Donny, having no idea what happened to him but feeling pretty sure that whatever it was, he faced it alone. And yes, she is absolutely terrified that something similar could happen to her Donny.

In my mind he doesn't really sit down and tell her, but it comes up bits and pieces at a time as they talk. Like

do you want a turn in the robot suit?

nah, I've had bad experiences in robot suits, like when I got hacked and scattered Master Splinter's data bits across the internet, or when I fought the Shredder and all my brothers died. you want a soda?

I mean when you've lived through trauma it's just part of your life, y'know? Hard to remember sometimes how shocking it'll be to other people, and even then hard to figure out a way to say some things any way but bluntly

but then also of course more heartfelt moments too, like

'Wow, you always show up for me. I really appreciate how you're someone I can count on, no matter what'

(being counted on = pressure to save the world) (if she trusts him and he disappears, not only is he understanding better all the time how deeply that abandonment would hurt, he's also worried about what happened to his loved ones because of their grief for him, from his perspective)

'I. Um. Thanks. Angel, I--I don't know if I can promise anything.'

'Whoa hey it's okay, you don't have to know right now.' (thinking he means their relationship)

'No I mean. I'm really scared, I don't know what's going to happen to me'

See there's really not an unalarming way to have these conversations XD

Anyway. one more sort of vague thought. There'd probably be an occasion or two for him to explain what happened in full, but I think it would be very difficult to talk about or even necessarily remember in a clear simple way. So being that her getting close to him is some years after the incident and she's less likely than his brothers to press for details (no bro hate, they've got plenty of reasons to be protective), the SAINW info she collects is more of how he's affected and what helps than of the actual events

Like less so 'mikey lost an arm tunneler was important Karai bot repurposed April rebel leader'

More so 'if something dangerous happens on the news anywhere near my neighborhood/place if work I text Don to confirm I'm okay' 'don't leave him alone for very long ever because he literally might go time traveling or to another dimension and he's justifiably terrified of that happening without anyone knowing' 'muggy out today that always puts Don in a funk, it was probably weather like this in That Dimension, gonna buy his favorite snacks and see if I can talk him into a movie night'

Of course the actual events become more clear over time and more conversations too but Angel's learning about the emotions first and is less concerned about the facts

[nrrrdgrrrl2002]

“Oh 12 april is such a b••ch. she gets so much just handed to her and has two guys in love with her yet she acts so picked on and is such a player Meh meh meh”

Ahem.

Bullet points of s••t april had to deal with in 2012

•Her dad got kidnapped by aliens and she had no idea if he was ok or not for months

•this guy she just met that saved her life obviously has a crush on her but is also keeping track of her exact whereabouts, making extremely detailed plans on how to get her and him alone, is keeping weird pictures of her as his desktop wallpaper and won’t stop despite being told it’s creepy.

•She finally gets her dad back after months, only for him to be mind controlled and turn her in to aliens

•who then torture her to use her as a battery to destroy humanity.

•THEN later on her dad gets horrifically mutated into an animalistic monster that tries to kidnap her

•because of a mistake her friends made that they didn’t seemingly plan to tell her about

•she decides shes had enough of this weird s••t only to literally be forced back into it

•and have her new friends life be put in danger cause of it

•her ex friend is still stalking her despite her saying she wants to be left alone

•she then finds out she has these freaky powers because half her dna is from the aliens who kidnapped and tortured both her and her dad and has tried to kill her friends

•Now her new friend has gotten deeply involved in the weird part of her life

•and now him and the other guy crushing on her won’t stop fighting and bickering with each other over her

•Then her bestie of over a year reveals herself as an alien who was only monitoring her this whole time, rendering the entire friendship fake

•then her city gets invaded and her and her friends have to barely evade killer aliens

•her dad gets mutated AGAIN into a kraang monster

•her and her friends have to abandon their home city and friends and family to have any chance of surviving to possibly save them later

•the only place they can go is her childhood farmhouse where her mom disappeared

•one of her friends is in a THREE MONTH COMA so she has to help keep his family together during it

•while the two boys she isn’t sure how she feels about are STILL fighting each other over her, only now she can’t get away from it since they all live together

•her friend makes her a creepy music box with a picture of only him in it, still trying to pursue despite all the other going on, like HIS BROTHER REELING FROM A KNEE INJURY AND JUST GETTING OUT OF A THREE MONTH COMA

•he then tells her he’ll stop pursuing, but then basically says she’ll never love him cause he’s a mutant, making her feel awful cause she does love him, she just doesn’t know in what way and hasn’t had the chance to figure it out

•she then finds her long lost mom frozen in the basement, only for it to actually be a kraang monster made with her moms dna that tries to eat her friends, forcing april to kill something that looks and sounds like her mom

•she returns to an apocalyptic New York with her friends, only to start having nightmares of what the kraangified slaves of the kraang are currently going through, including her dad

•THEN her planet gets destroyed, killing her friends and family outside of the turtles and Casey, leaving them with the pressure of saving the whole world on their own

•she saves a planets society from its corruption and is gifted with a piece of their most valued item, only for that piece to slowly possess her and alter how she thinks

•this possession then causes her to “murder” her best friend, leaving her with the guilt and trauma

•she later loses her secondary father figure

And yet she’s ENTITLED and irrational??

Y’all can feel free to add on cause I know I forgot some stuff

[theheadlesshorseman13]

Raph is portrayed a lot differently in my fics than in the actual TV shoes and comics (obviously). I like to think he’s more secretive and closed off because of his trauma - more so than his brothers think that he is. I don’t think he would have been open about his sexuality around his family, as his brothers all seemed to be interested in girls and he didn’t want to feel even more ostracised than he already felt due to his trauma. Raphael and Shredder are both gay in my fics, and I feel like the only person Raph told was Casey, as he was his best friend and wanted to trust him. Casey has obviously kept Raph’s secret, as he wants Raph to trust him and doesn’t want to lose his friendship with him. If he felt comfortable telling any of his family about his sexuality I like to think he would have told Donnie, as Donnie can keep secrets better than Leo or Mikey; Leo crumbled when Splinter interrogates him and while Mikey is better, he tends to slip up on occasion.

Raph is terrified of both hurting his family and being rejected by them. He wants to protect them because he feels like that role was passed down to him when he stopped Leo from being bitten by the dog, and that is why he pushes himself just as hard as Splinter pushed him.

Despite how angry he gets with his brothers and how violent he gets, he is constantly trying to prove his worth to both his siblings and his father, because he wants to feel strong and he’s scared of not being able to save any of them. Raph had barely managed to save Leo from the dog after all.

This is why Shredder had appointed Raph in such a high position when Raph agreed to join him to take down the Dragons. He thought he could use Raph’s devotion to his brothers and his urge to protect them in order to give him extra protection. But when the began dating, I feel like Saki and Takeshi both helped Raph start taking care of himself.

Obviously, Raph still has trouble with this. He can’t see himself as anything other than a protector, so even with Takeshi’s and Saki’s help, he may never fully put himself first. He wants to protect his siblings and his father, but he’s terrified of failing them or being abandoned by them.

[final-girl96]

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Baby, open the door so we can talk. Please. I promise I won't do anything, I just want to talk face to face." I was silent for a while as I debated whether to open the door or not. I need to play nice. I need to get him to trust me and I need to get Billy to trust me if I want to escape. But I also kept thinking that I could find a way out without them even knowing. Maybe in the middle of the night.

"Where's Billy?" I asked, standing up. "In the backyard knocked out," Stu chuckled. I reached for the lock and paused. This was going to be a stupid fucking decision. I unlocked the door and quickly made my way to the other side of the room. I didn't want to be anywhere in arms reach.

The door slowly opened and Stu's tall frame filled the doorway. He looked around until his eyes landed on me. "Why're you all the way over there?" He asked. He took a step forward and moved back more. "Just stay there." He stopped, holding his hands up in surrender position. "Okay. Okay, I'll stay over here. I'm sorry for scaring you. For yelling at you. For making you feel like you're just an object. I just don't want to lose you. I want to try and help you understand what we did had to happen.

"It didn't go as planned and Billy and I are pissed about that. I'm sorry for taking some of my anger out on you. But you need to know I would never hurt you. You were never to get hurt. I made him promise not to lay a finger on you. Just let me help you see why we did it." I shook my head. He was so easily pressured. It never took much to get Stu to do anything.

"No. I understand. Billy wanted revenge. He wanted Sidney to pay for what her mother did even after you two already killed her. He still wanted to punish Sid because everytime he looked at her he saw Maureen. His dad fucked up and screwed Maureen and his mom found out about it. She left and abandoned him. He was hurt over that and when found out the real truth behind it all he snapped.

"He wanted revenge. He wanted her to pay for breaking his family apart. So he came up with a plan to kill her. He came to you, his best friend, to help with it. He knew you would be easily manipulated. He knew you had anger deep deep inside of you that was just begging to be set free. And he also needed someone to blame if this went wrong." Stu didn't say anything so I continued.

"You liked the feeling you got when you two repeatedly stabbed Maureen Prescott. And when Casey broke up with you for Steve you wanted her dead. When Sidney closed Billy out and wouldn't let him touch her that pissed him off even more. He didn't see that it was from the trauma of what had happened to her mother. He convinced himself it was her being a whore. A tease. Just like her mother.

"So you two decided to wait a year. Let things cool down. Your plan to frame it on Cotton worked. So you waited a year and planned what you thought was a fool proof plan. You killed Casey and Steve for hurting you when she broke up with you for him. Then Tatum because you needed Sidney's bodyguard gone to get her alone and because she hurt you. Himbry I don't know what he did."

Stu leaned against the wall. A smile spread across his face like he was a proud dad or something. It was honestly fucking creepy. "Dewey and Gale weren't part of the plan but they were there and so was Randy. They had to be taken care of. And since Sideny blamed Billy when she was attacked you had to do what was possible to make her believe he wasn't the killer. His phone bill being clean just wasn't enough.

"She still had doubts. Sidney is a very smart girl. So you came up with the plan to act like he got stabbed by ghostface. You put the costume on and went upstairs. You used fake blood and tore his shirt so it looked like you stabbed him and then he played dead. You put something in my beer didn't you? Knock me out so I wouldn't be awake for what happened but it just wasn't enough. Because I woke up and that just wasn't part of the plan."

Stu was nodding his head, smiling a mile wide. "You're so fucking smart. You forgot something though." I raised an eyebrow at that. "The night that asshole ex of yours came to the house… not only was that the same night Sidney got attacked, but that was also part of the plan. Just in case shit went sideways. I made sure he saw the news. I knew he would come. What I didn't know was that he had still kept in contact with you. Or at least he tried.

"After I made the call to Sidney at Tatum's as ghostface of course, I knew you would be calling me. It was my alibi if I needed one. I was with you the whole time. I knew you would be too scared to argue that I wasn't and would tell the cops I was. I should have killed that fucker. He touched what's mine and I do not like that. I'm sorry I had to scare you like that. But don't worry he'll die and I'll be the one to make sure he does."

I shook my head and scoffed. This was all so fucked up. "You're unbelievable. And you're fucking stupid. Billy would have pinned everything on you! You were his back up plan. If shit would have gone differently. Like if the whole Sidney attack would have gone differently and they wouldn't have let him go. He would have told them it was you!" He was shaking his head and scoffed a laugh. "Billy wouldn't do that."

"She thinks she's one smart little bitch, huh?" My body stiffened when Billy walked into the room. He spit a glob of blood out of his mouth onto the floor. Stu turned so his back was to me and he was facing Billy. "Don't fucking touch her! Don't come anywhere near her!" Billy laughed, showing his blood stained teeth. "When are you going to realize she doesn't love you? She doesn't want to be with you, man. She's just a no good whore."

I shook my head when Stu looked back at me. I do love him, just not this version of him. But I needed him on my side if I was going to get out of this alive. "He's wrong. He's wrong, Stu, I do love you. I've always loved you. You're my best friend," I told him. Billy laughed, "see! You're her best friend, Stu! That's it. Nothing more than friends. You'll always be in the friend zone."

"Stu, look at me." He shook his head. "Stu, please. Please look at me. You're not just my best friend." I took the chance and slowly moved closer to him. I reached my hand out for him, touching his arm. "I love you. I'm in love with you. I'm just scared right now. I'm trying to still process everything, okay? It's going to take a while for me to come around. But I will. I promise.

It's half truth. I do love him and I am in love with him. I'm also scared and trying to process this shit. But I won't come around. This was just a way for me to get him to trust me and not Billy. This was a way for me to escape and get back home. As much as I love Stu, I just can't live like this.

"Protect me. Hold me. Show me you love me. Please." That got him to look at me and he finally took my hand. And pulled me into him. I looked back at Billy and smiled before wrapping my arms around Stu's waist and burying my face in his chest. Billy wasn't the only one that could manipulate people into giving them what they wanted.

[livvywritesworld]

writeblr intro

About Me & Writing

I’m Livvy (they/she), I’m a 19 year old writer and poet pursuing my BA in English & creative writing, I’m also working through a minor in philosophy & religious studies. I’m queer, chronically ill, neurodivergent, and (sort of) a person of faith.

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember and completed my first short story when I was around eight years old (it was about a reality tv show that staged hauntings in people’s houses).

Primarily, I write literary horror, litfic, speculative fiction, and folkloric horror with fantasy elements. My current focus and concentration is with short fiction and poetry, so any longform wips I have are primarily personal projects and probably what I will mostly be sharing on here.

My writing is always queer, and I have a habit of using religious imagery to explore character, girlhood, and trauma. Cannibalism as metaphor is my favorite thing ever.

My writing has been published places and will be published more places

My WIPs

primary

Sunny Side Down is a literary fiction novella about obsession, homoerotic lesbian friendships, religious trauma, and regression following Kathleen as she navigates the world after the passing of her devout mother. Her obsession with the local weatherman is growing daily and her childhood best friend, Ruth, is becoming more and more concerned for her as a tornado makes its way toward their small midwestern town.

status: currently drafting

Internet Gothic is a poetry collection about modern gen z experiences, the anxiety of living in a constant surveillance state, the concept of apocalypse, and queerness in the digital age.

status: currently compiling/drafting

+

other

The Lambs, Existing is a literary horror novel with underlying supernatural elements that I've been obsessively writing and rewriting since I was a sophomore in high school.

Bethan Ellis and Casey Novak were young girls when they were each abandoned by a parent. It’s been a wide held belief of their small mountain town that Bethan’s mother and Casey’s father were having an affair and ran off together. Now, almost fifteen years later, the bodies of their parents have been discovered in the forest, not having aged a day since they disappeared.

(title tbd) Antlers is a literary fiction novella with horror elements.

The orphaned daughter of a small Midwestern town’s affluent psychics and a ballerina team up to kill God; a boy in seminary school comes to terms with his sensuality and reckons with God.

Welcome to my very chaotic corner of the internet! xx