#Cocktail Parties | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pathetic-gamer · 3 days

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Mr. Gamer, how do you host cocktail parties? Or parties in general?

Once I have a bigger place (and friends ._.) I really want to have parties and host activities and just DO things but I'm also a chronic overthinker and do better with some sort of script, you know? So what makes a good host and a good party?

beloved i am so humbled that you asked 🙏

I'm multiple years out of practice, so I do want to first direct you to the many guides by actual, real professionals that will give you really useful tips and tricks for pulling off the event. You should check those out for the heavy hitting advice.

In my own experience, I think one of the most important things is making your guests feel like you had them in mind from the beginning. This will show naturally through the care and attention with which you prepared, how you feed them, how you introduce them to each other - there's a great post about how to get people talking to each other and make them feel welcome that i absolutely recommend reading.

But anyway, let's talk hosting cocktail parties! This is a (not-so-quick) run-through of general expectations for both you and your guests, and well as little things to keep in mind.

The Basics

Cocktail parties are for 10-20 people with a guest list made up of a mix of your close friends and the acquaintances that you wish were your close friends. It's less intimate than a dinner party, but more conversation-friendly than a house party. They're also a great choice if you want to feel fancy~

I will say, as far as hosting and attending different types of parties goes, cocktail parties are my favorite, but theyre not exactly the easiest. They share the Come Up With A Whole Ass Menu type of stress that dinner parties do, but with more people and no structured schedule. Also, cocktail parties are on the expensive side (reckon it's the liquor for going in them cocktails what does it...).

At a cocktail party, the host will have less time to socialize, because they will be busy keeping track of food and drinks. In a surprise to no one who knows me irl, I'm not actually all that social, so this is honestly preferable to me. The reason I like hosting cocktail parties is that they allow me to give the people I invited an environment to spend time with each other and feel special.

If you want something similarly calm but with less stress and more freedom for you, the host, to socialize, you could always go for a fancy-ified potluck type of thing! That's always going to be more casual, but it can still be nice :) If you choose to do that, just clean your house, give some guidance on what kinds of food to bring, and make sure you have enough chairs. People will have a lovely time.

Picking a Date and Time

Set a 3 hour window for the event. Guests will come and go as they please, but you can expect most people to stay for between 1 and 2 hours. Traditionally, cocktail hour (note that thats "hour," singular) was before dinner, but after-dinner cocktail parties are common nowadays. Make sure it doesnt completely cover the range of 5pm to 7pm - some overlap is to be expected, but there needs to be at least some amount of time for your guests to have dinner, since you wont be serving a full meal.

That being said, you also don't want it to go too late into the evening both because it gets tiring and because you don't want people getting shitfaced, and a late party implies more drinking. (Yes, I'm aware that cocktails are the point, but there's a difference between "come over and drink with us until 11pm on Friday" and "come over on Saturday for exactly two drinks and be out of my house by 9." youre just gonna have to trust me on this.) There are other ways to discourage getting drunk - more on this later.

Send invitations at least three weeks in advance, and request RSVPs. Follow up with people who haven't responded by one week out from the party date. Be straightforward- you're not being pushy, you have to know how many people to prepare for! People are going to understand that. A basic follow-up script is something like "Hey, [Name]! Will you [and Plus One if relevant] be able to make it on Saturday? I'm trying to figure out how much food to make."

My ideal cocktail party is on a Saturday evening from 6:30 to 9. If I'm the one hosting, a Saturday gives me more time to prepare than a Friday would, and as either host OR guest, I appreciate having Sunday to recover.

Themes

Not required. Sometimes fun, sometimes unexpectedly restrictive. It can be helpful for guests to know the vibes ahead of time, like what to wear or bring to share, but it can also put unnecessary pressure on the host to come up with some clever way to tie it in with the food and drinks.

If your party is celebrating a specific holiday, however, then you have a default theme already and you should acknowledge that. If, for example, I were hosting a cocktail party on August 1st to celebrate All Southern Hemisphere Horses' Birthdays, I'd want to make sure I'm observing the occasion with nods to things horses in the southern hemisphere are known to like - the obvious examples are Julio Cortázar or liberation theology as understood by Leonardo Boff, but there's no need to be reductive.

Menu and Drinks

Guests will probably know not to expect dinner, but you still need to feed them. Ask about dietary preferences and allergies when you request the RSVPs. Even if no one says they have an allergy, avoid serving peanuts and shellfish. This isn't a hard and fast rule, I just like the extra insurance (and also happen to have a shrimp allergy).

Don't have too complicated of a menu, and only serve one or two things you actually have to cook - everything else should be stuff that's either pre-made or easily assembled. This for your own sanity.

Pick things that are small and easy to eat while standing or walking. If you're setting out a cheese platter, make sure you have multiple knives and enough bread and crackers. Pre-slice any cured meats and any cheeses harder than a medium cheddar, but you can leave soft things untouched.

Believe it or not, cocktails are the centerpiece of a cocktail party. Having one or two drinks pre-mixed will make things very easy. Classic and simple examples are the martini, manhattan, and negroni, but it's also cool to have a signature cocktail that's a little more fun and showy, if you have the tools and skill to make it. If you want to serve something made with tonic/soda water, obviously don't mix that part in ahead so it doesnt lose its fizz. Consider having some wine on hand, too, but dont worry too much about pairings. Also, it goes without saying, but have a nonalcoholic mocktail available, too. There are lots of recipes online. I've had some really good ones that make use of green tea, which is clever - it gives it the botanical vibe of like a really good gin.

If you're doing this in the evening and want to get even fancier, consider cutting off the cocktails towards the end of the night and breaking out some digestifs. (This is traditionally more of a dinner party thing, but unless youre hanging w the upper crust of the upper crust, no one will care about the breach in sacred social protocol.) The best vibes for fall/winter/late summer are going to come from distilled or fortified wines like cognac and sherry, bitter liqueurs, or some kind of fernet. For summer, limoncello is really fucking good and very refreshing. Extra bonus: you can make limoncello yourself :)

Keep in mind that while it's your responsibility as the host to make sure people are feeling safe socially, it's also your responsibility to keep them physically safe. Keep an eye on how much people are drinking. Be willing to cut people off or help call rides. Make sure people have designated drivers, and don't let the designated drivers have more than like one drink.

Vibes!!!!

Music should be loud enough that people with approximately average hearing won't be straining to hear it, but not so loud that it can overpower low voices. Personally, I always prefer when the music is something that doesn't have lyrics bc lyrics can make it harder to concentrate on a conversation, but that's a personal preference. The exception is Ireland's very own beloved 90s band The Cranberries. I don't know why, it just is.

Table and floor lamps are great for lighting - it keeps things more grounded and personal and isn't too dim. If you want to use candles, be careful with scents. Similarly, if you typically use oil diffusers or air fresheners in your house, consider moving them to a side room or turning them off during the party.

Also, consider the season (beyond just putting up twinkle lights and serving gingerbread in winter). In the fall or winter, a party starting after 6:30 but ending around 9 is going to feel really cozy and intimate and will probably last the whole time. If anything, things will pick up a little later. Putting out some kind of card game for low-energy communal entertainment will be appreciated in the last hour. In the spring and summer, on the other hand, a party at the same time will feel more casual, and people may start to leave once it's getting dark. (There are cases where this doesn't apply, such as if it's June in Finland.)

Details like how you arrange furniture in the space will make a difference, even if people don't notice it outright. Having a gathering of close friends? Just make sure there are enough seats for everyone in the same communal area, and you're set! If, on the other hand, you're bringing together people who don't know each other very well, setting up your space to encourage congregating in a few smaller areas instead of one large one might make it easier for people to have conversations comfortably - it's easier to get to know one or two people than 10 people at once.

Never invite more people than can safely fit into the place where the party is happening, but don't expect everyone you invite to be able to come. Have enough seats for people, but be aware that cocktail parties are for mingling, so it's important that there's room to move around freely.

How to Discourage Drinking Too Much

There are a handful of things you can do to gently suggest your guests keep their shit together:

Pre-mixed cocktails will control how strong the drinks are. Make sure water is easily available such as by placing multiple pitchers in the main room so people don't have to go out of their way to find it. Put the snacks front and center and start serving the food before the cocktails (food of any kind helps your body process alcohol more quickly). Don't schedule it to go too late into the evening. Cut off the liquor a little while before the party is scheduled to end - you can offer low alcohol content wine or beer as an alternative as it gets later. Don't have the party close to a big partying holiday like Halloween, NYE, or, if you're usamerican, the 4th of July.

Something to note: Digestifs are really high in alcohol content, so they'll seem counter-intuitive if you're trying to reduce consumption later in the evening. Keep in mind that they're often served in a very small amounts (the correct serving of Underberg, a popular kräutorlikör, is only 20ml, which is less than an ounce), but if you want to be extra cautious, you could try a low-ABV amaro, like amaro montenegro.

Other Random Stuff

You can use paper plates. No one will judge you.

You don't have to serve the cocktails in their most traditional glasses. Again, no one but the unethically wealthy will judge you.

Martini glasses are really easy to spill out of - watch out if you have carpet.

Clean your house really well beforehand. Yes, it's partly to make a good impression, but also it's WAY easier to clean up after the party if the space was already clean.

If you have cats or dogs, do your best to clear out any fur while you're cleaning, for the sake of removing allergens. You can always use a vacuum, but also if you put on a rubber glove and just swipe your hand firmly across the upholstery, it'll be surprisingly effective.

In preparing for the party, your guests will almost definitely look up tips on what they're supposed to bring to a cocktail party, and every website will tell them to bring bread or wine. They'll either bring one of those things, or they'll decide to be ~original~ and bring a cheese platter. They also may ask you directly what you'd like them to bring, so consider having some ideas of things that would add to your spread but wouldn't have a marked absence if you didn't have them - seasonal fruit, extra crackers, idk.

You're going to run out of ice.

#fun fact i dont even drink LMAO #my knowledge of alcohol is completely irrelevant to my daily life but im very glad to have it i guess??#answer #etiquette #cocktail parties #party planning #☕️🥧#how to adult

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