#Coloth

[doctornolonger]

7 years later: Coloth has arrived.

The Book of the Snowstorm, brilliantly crafted and compiled by @aristidetwain, is AVAILABLE NOW in print, epub, and Kindle!

It includes a new story from me, “The First Noël”, as well as literally dozens of other stories. Welcome to the Library – just be sure to wear something cozy. Winter has arrived!

[a-wartime-paradox]

The Book of the Snowstorm is out!

At a mammoth-length (828 pages, with a higher word count than Cwej: Down the Middle), "The Book of the Snowstorm" serves as the first dedicated print installment of the Coloth series, but somewhat more importantly to this blog, it serves as the first release for quite a few upcoming expanded Faction Paradox universe (a.k.a "Doctor Who universe") authors, including the likes of:

Myself, writing The Claus-Rosen Bridge with @tvmigraine (Elodie Christian) and The Cathedral of Winter (solo)

@theangelshavethephonebox (Theta Mandel) writing Our Bleak Midwinter

@thienvaldram (Thien Valdram) writing The Dinosaur in the Snow

Beyond these Tumblr users, there were many more by both other new authors (such as Ismaeel Clarke) and established authors (such as @doctornolonger (Nate Bumber), James Hornby, and more). Of course, Snowstorm wouldn't be Snowstorm if it weren't for the multiple stories written by @aristidetwain , and his marvelous editing work.

With all of that said, here is Arcbeatle Press's own official announcement, and here is the direct link to purchase the book (and the American link). The ebook is currently going for £2.35, and the physical for £23.61

[marvelousmop]

Out Now - Book of the Snowstorm!

I'm published again, it's a miracle!

Amazon Link (for ebook and physical copy -https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CR1FYNQW?ref_=pe_93986420_774957520)

Payhip Link (alternative link for ebook - https://payhip.com/b/OIkPi)

Lots more about the book below:

The Book of the Snowstorm is just an amazing anthology with a lot of passion put into it from all the writers, so many of whom I've gladly written with in the past, and quite a few new voices who I'm sure will make lovely additions to this community that's been built up over the years. This book is like a portal to many, many areas of indie sci-fi/fantasy publishing, some of which from Arcbeatle Press, some of which leading elsewhere, and many of it somehow connecting to Doctor Who. Fortunately, despite this level of interconnectedness, this book works as an introduction to all these characters and concepts (and not all the stories feature pre-existing concepts).

Also, I wrote something! Jenny Over-There's Wonderful Life, featuring my favorite underdescribed grouch* - this story actually started off as a throwaway joke in a different holiday special that I'm still working on (it features at least three ghosts if you want a hint), but then the call for pitches came along and I sporadically decided to turn it into a full story. It almost definitely threw off my schedule, but it was worth it!

In short, please go buy this book! As an ebook, it's only $3 (which is very cheap considering there are at least 800 pages worth of writing in this thing), and again it's the debut of many new writers!

[thienvaldram]

The Book of the Snowstorm – Readthrough/Review Part 7

Framing Story (Scenes 16-18)

Did that just imply… Urizen was God. Like the ‘God’ mentioned by the Toymaker in the Giggle was actually Urizen (and thus Rassilon)? Also a Church on Ruby Road reference with the goblin. I like Rich’s little section, and in general I’m curious as to how the events in the 925 Universe tie to the Snowstorm in the library and how the mysterious-99-per-cent-sure-he’s-not-Auteur stranger factors into it, if they do at all.

The God Who Came For Christmas

Hello again FASA War Chief. The glimpse into the Archon’s perception of one another was fascinating and I think I get what it’s trying to do. Imply the FASA War Chief is a Self-Hypnotised Master trying to disguise. Either way, fun little piece even if (IIRC) it’s a sequel to a DW RPG story that I have not seen.

Presents

Interesting piece. The Fantastic Realm is an interesting setting and I like the use of comic book terminology alongside more DWEU concepts. As well as the general exploration of the infinitely variable constantly resetting characters of comic books. Captain America, or well… Captain Yank, was a good choice of character for that IMO and I appreciated the references to other suspiciously similar substitutes for Marvel’s other cast members.

The Cathedral of Winter

Ok so first of all, Abraytha is really fun, and I appreciate his general upbeat demeanour and sense of adventure and fun. Also his aesthetic is cool. The Archons of Winter were really funny, and have similarly funny implications for their temporal counterparts (In that a Multiversal visitor with the appropriate equipment could in theory bypass their defences almost as easily as Abraytha did to the Archons of Winter). The cultural differences between Xiantio and Abraytha were also really fun. Aesthetic was great too, just the general winter theming. (Also Lotto cameo?????)

[tvmigraine]

I wrote something in a book.

Specifically cowrote a short story with @a-wartime-paradox, who asked me if I was interested and... now we both have a published credit.

Coloth: The Book of the Snowstorm is just a really fun book, coming from the people that have previously released stuff like CWEJ: Down the Middle and the 10k Dawns series. A lot of different people wrote stories over a month, making this the fastest turn-around on a book I've ever seen (but I've never been involved with book productions before).

I've seen some people do reviews of the stories in Coloth and so far it's been well received! One of the people doing reviews is Wyrdvora, but she skipped over "The Claus-Rosen Bridge", our contribution to the book.

So I felt it was important to say that it wouldn't have been half as good without her. She's a very talented writer and I'm excited, as a reader, to see what else she works on. She has a good work ethic and really great ideas - you can look forward to a Time Lord Archon, a shapeshifting Rabbit and an inhabitant of the Library encounter Jesus Christ, Santa Claus and Auteur... who's probably important, I only know him from the Doctor Who: Lockdown short stories.

[drleevezan]

My very brief thoughts on each story in "The Book of the Snowstorm"

My very brief thoughts on each story in "The Book of the Snowstorm" (other than the ones which I wrote, of course):

Framing Sequence by Aristide Twain

This is a brilliant way to present the various stories within the overarching narrative, and is fantastically successful at being a compelling story in its own right and at tying the whole book together into a proper Coloth novel. The characters, both pre-existing and new, are all very enjoyable, and the dynamics between those stuck in the Library and between Coloth, Rich, and the Scotland division of the M.F.S. are extremely fun. The Deadline and Roarke are fantastic creations, as well.

"Magic Bird of Fire" by Micah K. Spurling

A very lovely story which does a fantastic job making its characters feel like thoroughly real people. The direct prose style is a perfect match for the personality of the lead character (which comes across very succesfully) and the nature of the events depicted, and there are some very evocative descriptive passages throughout. The emotional beats are well-handled and very effective.

"The Dinosaur in the Snow" by Thien Valdram

The relationship between Rosanna and Tirion is very enjoyable, and the story presents a lot of fascinating and well-constructed worldbuilding. The use of Los in a Third Universe context is fun to see, and the story handles it very well.

"Neither Warrior or Thinker" by Katherine MacEachern

A very sweet vignette which does a great job expanding on the close relationship between Coloth, Maritsa, and Callum and delving into some well-thought-out, backstory-influenced character exploration for each of the trio.

"Jenny Over-There's Wonderful Life" by Callum Phillpott

As is the nature of the 925-Universe stories, this is incredibly funny, deriving a lot of very clever comedy from reinterpreting various elements of pop-culture through the unique satirical humor-style of the series - in this particular case, the trappings of It's a Wonderful Life. The characters are, as ever, very compelling beyond their initial jokes - Gabe is a very fun presence throughout.

"The Claus-Rosen Bridge" by Ostara Gale and Elodie Christian

A delightfully fun romp through various aspects of the winter holidays. In addition to being great fun, it's brimming with ideas, and introduces a variety of new characters and concepts which make for great additions to the ever-expanding worlds of the Third Universe and the Library setting in particular. And it makes great use of Auteur as a presence lurking in the margins and altering things.

"Still Proceeding" by Charles E.P. Murphy

An enjoyable outing for the SIGNET team, with an appropriately-holiday-themed incident for them to investigate and a clever sci-fi recreation of the nativity story at its center. Perkins' joy at seeing real aliens manages to be both funny and touching, as does much of the rest of the story.

"Abstract Tales" by me

Not going to review this, obviously, but perhaps I could give some thoughts from a having-written-it perspective:

The framing sequence: I didn't originally intend to write a mini-anthology inside of an anthology, but I couldn't pick between the various ideas I'd had, and eventually decided to write all of them. My plan was to use every Abstract thus far established, and I believe I succeeded in doing so: The Illumination and the Misfortune (and Chaos) from Benj Christensen's The Chronicles of Jenny Everywhere, the Luminance from Benj Christensen's The Jenny Everywhere Roleplaying Game, the Life from my The Disappearance of Jenny Everywhere (mentioned there, but making her first appearance here), the Knowledge from Jeanne Morningstar's The Hermetic Garbage of Jenny Everywhere, the Terror from Aristide Twain's Jenny Everywhere in the House of Terror, the Remembrance (created by Aristide) and the Oblivion from my Remember, and the Luxuriance, who was created by Aristide but had never appeared in anything until now.

The first story: I thought it would be fun if there was a side-story to the Copper-Colored Cupids 2023 Christmas serial in Snowstorm, showing the effect of Tarsa's disappearance on a different section of her creations - but due to various delays, the 2023 Christmas serial doesn't actually exist yet, so I suppose it will only become a side-story retroactively. I am amused by the fact that, unless I'm forgetting something, the first pre-established Copper-Colored Cupids characters to appear in print, in the flesh rather than as mentions, are now the three wacky wild-west-outlaw toys who made a brief appearance in one of my earliest stories and were never seen again until now.

The second story: I wanted to give the Caradans a proper debut and establish some worldbuilding about their planet, since their previous appearances have mostly been brief mentions. My intent was to tie together the various elements seen in those previous appearances, as well as some details which will be mentioned in [REDACTED FUTURE STORY] by [REDACTED]. The Caradans were notably previously seen fighting the Cyberons, which I naturally can't use anymore, so it was fun to slot the Mecharons - my cookie-themed gag-cyborgs from "The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids" - into their narrative role in one of the "nightmares", since the name originated as my briefly-serious proposal for a Cyberon replacement until I realised that it sounded like 'macaron'.

The third story: A tribute to Joe Macaré and Nelson Evergreen's Jenny Everywhere comics. The present-tense style was my attempt to translate the energetic pace of the comics into prose. The Mecharons are in this one, too, because cyborg conquerors suited the format and I figured I may as well use the same ones and have a connection between two of the stories.

"The Ties that Bind" by Lena Mactíre

A well-constructed portrayal of a less-than-pleasant holiday gathering, and the elements that serve to improve it. The various characters depicted ring very true to life, and the protagonists are very likeable.

"A Buggy Little Holiday" by James Wylder

I hadn't read any Starlight Ranger stories prior to this, but this has definitely interested me. Cleo Mentia is an extremely fun protagonist, and the structure of the series seems like a compelling and successfully-constructed vehicle for episodic stories. The story is very funny, and James Wylder's distinctive writing style is as enjoyable as ever.

"The Two Auteurs" by Aristide Twain

Absolutely brilliant prose, which is to be expected from Aristide, and a wonderful exploration of Auteur's character enabled by the meeting between his past and current selves, and expressed through the symbolic world of the mind-battle. And full of very well-constructed and -presented worldbuilding, as well.

"Trauma and Tinsel" by James Hornby

A sweet story returning to the ever-enjoyable setting of Dionus's clinic on Gulliver's Rest, with great character-work and a touching ending that's very fitting for a holiday special.

"Love and War" by Aristide Twain

(Potential bias disclaimer: I wrote the extract from Sideridis's diary, but that doesn't really factor into my review of the rest of the story) This has a delightful, intensely metafictional, academic style, filled with reams of brilliant worldbuilding. It does a wonderful job exploring the fundamental, unchanging mindsets of the Sun Builders through a variety of perspectives, and continuing to expand the Morning Star into an ever-more-fascinatingly-detailed setting. The central plotline is extremely compelling, and Dionus and Susit's story ends up being very touching.

"The Goblin, the Witch, and the Kitchen Sink" by Ismaeel Clarke

A delightful and very funny story with an extremely fun style which draws brilliantly from early-20th-century children's fantasy literature, featuring a variety of whimsical and very enjoyable characters, an energetic central plot, and a very sweet ending.

"The Revelry of the Redacted" by Ryan Fogarty

An effective story of hope during war, featuring some wonderfully inventive worldbuilding and a compelling cast of characters. The Yule Bearers are great here, and the Christmas carols with altered lyrics are a fun touch.

"The God Who Came for Christmas" by Aristide Twain

A lovely little tale which provides a very effective epilogue to the FASA roleplaying story to which it is a sequel, as well as a wonderful exploration of its two central characters, whose distinct voices and dynamic make for a great two-handed story.

"Presents" by Erika de Atayde

This is an extremely inventive story, playing on elements of the history of comic book superheroes and the tropes found in their stories to tell a very effective and touching tale with an intriguing setting.

"The Cathedral of Winter" by Ostara Gale

An adventure story taking place in a very fun setting (I love the snow-themed variant of the Morning Star) and introducing a variety of very compelling new characters and ideas. Abraytha and Xiantio are very likeable protagonists, and the Katioka is a fun central element.

"Just Dropping In" by Scott Sanford

A very fun tale - Scott Sanford demonstrates his usual skill at writing in-medias-res vignettes, deftly weaving in a variety of elements of an in-progress Jenny adventure. Jenny's first-person perspective is well-handled, and as usual the Parallax-Jenny is delightful.

"Conspiracy-1263 and the Christmas Conspiracy" by Peter Guy

(Potential bias disclaimer: for obvious reasons I am probably biased towards Cupids stories in general) A fantastic use of the Cupids and their world, with a lot of great character details, unique ideas, and very funny moments, and a wonderful grasp of the varied characters' personalities and how they might respond to the central crisis. The story explores a variety of different perspectives, all of which are extremely well-handled, and the central crisis in itself is a great idea for an inciting incident with a lot of well-realised potential.

"Our Bleak Midwinter" by Theta Mandel

An extremely compelling and very touching story with very well-handled and well-thought-out central themes and a wonderful talent for character- and world-building. Abby and her family are very believably-depicted, and the backstory related by Abby's grandmother and the influence of its ideas on her struggle against the harmful megacorporation is a particularly effective element.

"The Gift of the Renegades" by James Wylder

A very enjoyable semi-sequel to 'And Today, You', bringing back some of the fun character dynamics and humor of that novel and making for a delightful holiday special. Jhe Sang Mi remains an extremely likeable central character, and Lady Aesc and Blanche are as fun as ever.

"The First Noel" by Nate Bumber

A fantastic story which makes great use of the Borgesian-infinite-library-as-a-recurring-sci-fantasy-setting concept which is the basis of the Library - further exploring the idea of a culture built on finding valid books from among the Library's unending collection. The concepts of ancestrally-inherited journeys to distant shelves, veins of validity, and using the books themselves to find other areas to search are all brilliant.

"Our Finest Gifts We Bring" by various

It's always great fun to see Aristide's brilliant take on the Consistency Imperium, and this is a very good introductory segment for establishing the central idea of the collaborative story.

This has a very enjoyably poetic style, and Urizen being gifted an hourglass and beginning to ponder the idea of time is a great concept.

Interesting worldbuilding about Dionus and Gulliver's Rest, conveyed through well-crafted dialogue.

Abraytha and the Katioka continue to be very compelling central concepts, and the central gift idea is a fun one.

Very fun dialogue between the central characters, and their initial befuddlement and then fondness for the toy pony is quite good.

It's great to see the Medic in a solo role - her central concept lends itself very well to carrying stories on its own, and this is a very fun use of that concept and another great idea for a gift.

A very funny one, featuring a gift that the central characters can't actually use, which is another fun variation on the concept.

Another great use of the Library, and some interesting worldbuilding about Gabriel.

(I wrote this one, so fun fact instead of review:) Several months ago I showed Aristide a little green-clothed figurine holding a mushroom which I'd found at a thrift shop, and he jokingly suggested that it might be competition for the Toadstool Salesman, which is what the "little green gnome hawking mushrooms" seen arguing with the Salesman in this one is obscurely referencing.

A very lovely epilogue to "The God Who Came For Christmas", continuing the extremely effective characterisation and dynamic seen in the earlier story.

A touching wintertime scene - it's very nice to see the ever-likeable PROBE team again, and to know that they're still able to make appearances even though their home series has been snatched away by the Big Bad Villains.

(I wrote this one, so fun fact:) The descriptions of the Blue Feather's various failed attempts at investigating the parcel are written to mimic the style of the descriptions of Pessimist's attempts to participate in winter activities in my 2019 holiday vignette, "Ally Builds a Snowman".

A lovely Christmas vignette, with very good character interactions between Cwej and Vicky, and well-crafted dialogue.

A pitch-perfect impression of the style of the Winnie-the-Pooh books, and a very lovely story told in that style.

A very effective and touching scene of Horatio Topper finally reuniting, at least to some extent, with his Lady in White.

A fun scene of Lotto at home, giving an enticing look into further adventures of Lotto and Mae beyond "The Claus-Rosen Bridge"

The appearance of a younger Sang Mi and Sang Eun is very fun, and the bickering between the disguised Aesc and Blanche is quite funny

This has a very fun, whimsically-chaotic style, and has succesfully caused me to want to read about further adventures in this world, despite the characters' concerns.

A wonderful use of Sun Builder lore, as is to be expected from Aristide, and a very enjoyable dynamic between Monk and the Corsair Queen.

A very cleverly humorous vignette with a fun idea for a central gift (or not a gift, perhaps).

A touching vignette starring an intriguing central character with a fun concept.

Martin and Maurice are as endearing as ever, and Lucy is certainly fun.

A delightfully silly story, and very succesfully so.

(I wrote this one, so fun fact:) Here are the various parts of the Multiverse which I was intending to reference, though it's not set in stone, and one could theoretically interpret some of the references as referring to other things: A woman in a scarf and goggles (Jenny Everywhere), copper robots (The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids), a firmament (10,000 Dawns), a timeship (the Evil Renegade), superheroes (The Cosmic Beholder), spaceships (Starcatcher), songs of war (WARSONG), skeletons (Auteur), nightclubs (Name's Not Down), men in grey (The 925 Universe), abstract families (The Abstracts), adventurous ducks (certain residents of the Prime Universe), ancient mammoths (the Original Mammoths), animated bunnies (Bunny Everyhare), paradox cults (Faction Paradox), emerald cities (Oz), haunted mansions (a place to which foolish mortals are welcomed), strange and wonderful houses (Our Strange and Wonderful House), talking cactuses (Coloth), teenage scientists (Scott Sanford's Jenny stories), blond-haired clones (Cwej)

A beautiful ending-scene which finishes the story on some very touching sentiments.

[cloudbattrolls]

Jamie Abnale was once involved with the helm trade.

So, too, was he once involved with Tetrao Coloth, the tech mogul who left him walking with crutches. Tetrao Coloth traded in helms, cyborgs - anyone he could snatch and experiment on.

One of his employees captured one of those cyborgs, thinking it would please her boss.

Instead, it brought something terrible down on his head.

[apathetic-graffiti]

Porrim is a genderfluid monarch to me. Like he is so gorgeous in a boy-girl, girl-boy way and it drives me nuts . I keep thinking of a design for him and stuff, I think he would wear victorian-esque colothing -- very vampiric type of stuff. Yk?

I do have trouble with it since I still very much would like to show off his tattoos lol

[nyctophobia-au]

47, 29!

For 29, my favourite style of colothing to wear is generally witchy clothing. I like alternative fashion a lot, and most of my clothes are black with Pagan saying and/or symbols. Otherwise, my favourite style of fashion is lolita and/or pastel goth. I do not wear most pastel goth fashion because it does not suit me, though. As for 47, I stayed up until 12AM PST because I was editing a video and also other things.

[chase-ships]

*Dashi introducing Chase to everyone*

Dashi: Okay fellas this is our next guy who’s going to join us for the rest of the year his name is Chase young

Chase: Finally good to meet you all

Eon: Welcome to the crew Chase

Dojo: Damn Eon you find him attractive do you?

Eon: No?

Dojo: Just saying

Eon: Dude whatever

Dashi: Okay so if anyone is interested to show Chase the art skills and showing him the temple around

XC Chase: I will show him

Dashi: Okay Chase so Chase chronicles will show you around the place

Chase: Okay

Dashi: Welcome to the xiaolin crew

Chase: Thanks

*Chase chronicles showing XS Chase around the temple*

XC Chase: How you like it

Chase: I like everything and everything seems so easy for me to handle

XC Chase: I’m glad you did like everything

Chase: Yeah! And your brother Eon is also nice

XC Chase: Yeah Eon is super nice and a very good guy but we do fight a lot for stupidities

Chase: Hahaha that’s so colothical

*Later*

XC Dashi: Hey Dojo where did you put my shirt at I can’t find it

Dojo: I put it outside grand master because it was wet maybe you were doing something with Eon and you get wet

XC Dashi: Oh okay thanks dojo I will find something else

Dashi: Hey Chase how you find everything?

Chase: Everything is fine and the weather is nice and calmed

Dashi: Glad you like it kid, so after the training we will have something nice to contribuir with you since you are one of us

Chase: Damn I haven’t had something like this before

Dojo: You will have it then

Chase: I know ow that the training and the welcoming will be amazing with all of you guys

Eon: That will make a difference

Chase: What difference what are you talking about?

Eon: It will make a difference in our relationship having you here in talking about be part of the xiaolin family

Chase: Got it

[000nazmul]

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[doctornolonger]

The Library at the End of the Universe: A Comprehensive History

In mid-2017 a friend asked me if I could submit a story to a fan anthology he was putting together. I was busy with "Cobweb and Ivory" and "A Farewell to Arms", so I just sent him a drabble from my notes. It's an interquel set between an unproduced story and an unwritten one, and it features the Thirteenth Doctor when her intro video was all I had to go off of. It might still be relevant one day…

Beyond the end of this universe and before the start of the next, there lies a gigantic bubble, and between this universe and that bubble, there lies a much smaller bubble. This is the Library, and its collections have been cultivated by the Bookkeepers since before the beginning of time.

“… no, that’s not quite right.”

Beyond the end of this universe and before the start of the next, there lies a gigantic bubble, and between this universe and that bubble, there lies a much smaller bubble. This is the Library, and its collections have been cultivated by the Bookkeepers since they arrived fifteen billion years ago.

“Well, that’s a bit closer, I suppose.”

Beyond the end of this univerSe and before the start of the neXT; THERE L1ES A GIGAN71C 8U8873 3ND 3OKVSTMBCXKW0S8SKCC0K8 O0GGOC KOKKKG4G8K8G WGOWG88SG8GSWCKS4KCW 84G0O44 S8K

“A fun interpretation, though the spacing is a bit strange. Next!”

On top of the universe there lie many realms where time flows differently and the laws of physics slide parallel to ours. One of these realms is the Library, and its collections have been cultivated by the Bookkeepers since they discovered it fifteen years ago.

“Ooh, now that’s very interesting.”

On top of the universe there lie many realms where time flows differently and the laws of physics slide parallel to ours. One of these realms is the Library, and its infinite collections have existed without change since its interminably-ancient creation. However, upon being discovered by the Bookkeepers seven million years ago …

… its infinite collections have existed without change since its interminably-ancient creation. However, upon being discovered by the Plume Coteries twenty-five seconds ago, the Library was introduced to the concepts of change and entropy. Since then, trillions of books have been uploaded to a …

… upon being discovered and colonized by the former Plume Coteries fifteen years ago, the Library was introduced to the concepts of change and entropy. Since then, trillions of books have been organized into categories, with the Coteries, now called the Bookkeepers, fueling their civilization by combusting the volumes of untranslatable gibberish.

“Finally!”

Callum looked down from the ladder, excited. “We found it?”

“Oh, no, of course not,” the Doctor said from the floor, dropping the book into an increasingly mountainous discard pile. “Something still doesn’t feel quite right. But at least it has a more interesting beginning!”

Callum sighed and handed down a new volume from the shelf. “Well, what specifically was wrong about it?”

The Doctor grabbed the book from Callum’s hand. “I don’t know. Blame Eldritch. I just know I’ll recognize the true history when I see it.”

“Look, Doctor, I think this is a waste of my time. I don’t have your magic truth-guessing superpowers, and I’m sure you’d be able to handle the ladder by yourself. I’m going to find my way back to my people.”

“Nonsense,” the Doctor said while absentmindedly skimming the book. “You’re my companion, Callum; you have to stick around. I need your fresh perspective on the universe.”

“What universe?!?” Callum threw his arms in the air; a few books fell off the lower rungs of the teetering ladder. “You promised me all of space and time, and all we’ve done for the last month is coop ourselves up on the world I grew up in!”

“It’s not a world, Callum. It’s something much, much stranger.” The Doctor picked up one of the scattered books and shook it pointedly at the boy. “Besides, it’s true: I need you here. The Library is in your biodata. You were born and raised here, outside of your ancestors’ native time.”

“But why? I don’t see what this has anything to do with the ‘lost Earth’ situation.”

The Doctor stared up at Callum with unexpected intensity, her eyes bugging out at him. “It has everything to do with the lost Earth situation. History has been broken. The most important person in all of time and space was killed before their time, and they’ll be coming through here any day.” She dropped the book into the discard pile. “I need to make sure you’re ready.”

“That I’m ready?” Callum stepped down a rung. “Where will you be?!”

“Oh, I’ll be around,” the Doctor said, plucking another book from the floor. “But there are other things I need to be doing.”

“What – What could possibly be more important than the most important person in time and space? And what do you honestly expect –”

The Doctor made a frantic shushing noise. She had become completely still, and Callum similarly froze into a ready crouch, listening hard for any disturbance. There was nothing except the whispering of the shelves.

“What did you hear?” he eventually whispered.

“Nothing,” admitted the Doctor at full volume, slamming her book down onto the pile. “But somewhere out in the universe, there’s a soul crying for help in an empty room. I need to be that help.”

“Hullo,” Callum said, “calling for help right here, thank you.”

“Oh, I have faith in you! You’re a smart lad; you can figure it out. Whereas I strongly doubt that the universe will be able to beat off mammoths or mind viruses by themselves, hmm?”

Callum scowled and pulled another book from the shelf. “Well let’s get on with it, then, so you can go battle your bloody mammoths.”

“Wooly mammoths,” the Doctor corrected gently.

On top of the universe there lie many realms where time flows differently and the laws of physics slide parallel to ours. One of these realms is the Library, and its infinite collections have existed without change since its interminably-ancient creation. However, upon being discovered and colonized by the former Plume Coteries fifteen years ago, the Library was introduced to the concepts of change and entropy. Since then, trillions of books have been organized into categories, with the Coteries, now called the Bookkeepers, fueling their civilization by burning any volumes they deem too difficult to understand or too inconsistent with their beliefs. To verify unreliable records, they use time ladle technology in their extraction chambers to interview notable lifeforms from the universe at the moment of their death …

[a-wartime-paradox]

Auteur is ever nearer...

In the coming days (before or on Halloween 2023), the first installment, written by @aristidetwain , in the upcoming Auteur series will be appear, contained within the Arcbeatle Press Halloween anthology Horrors of Arcbeatle. This installment will also be the kickstart for the "Coloth" series based around the character "Coloth" from Simon Bucher-Jones's War Crimes.

Auteur, for anyone unawares, debuted in @rassilon-imprimatur (Jayce Black)'s A Bloody (and Public) Domain & Going Once, Going Twice, published in Obverse Books's Faction Paradox anthologies "The Book of the Enemy" and "The Book of the Peace", respectively. This publication marks the precedent for future independently-licensed works starring Auteur 👀👀

I will be reblogging this post with a link to purchase the anthology from arcbeatlepress.com as soon as such a thing is possible, so keep your eyes out!

source: tweet from Aristide Twain, second tweet from Aristide Twain

[marvelousmop]

Mop's 2023

So, what have I gotten up to this year? Let's talk about this for far too long.

Jenny Over-There:

(Art by the [Complimentary Adjective] @aristidetwain)

Despite my initial assumption that Jenny Over-There would just be a one-off character I'd never used again, "Jenny Over-There - The 925 Universe" went on with five main-line stories, + 1 spinoff in the form of The Rhino Tower, and +2 Appearances in Arcbeatle Press Anthologies (The Cosmology of Sherlock Holmes and, more recently Coloth: Book of the Snowstorm)!

Over the course of the year, she's been relented to several frustrating situations including phone calls, a fake kidnapping (which I suppose is a step up from the real kidnapping that happened earlier), taking up the Man in Grey's job for the day and, worst of all, being relegated to the role of Side-Character in Lawyers and Tigers and Bears.

Speaking of, that Man in Grey sure did go through some developments, didn't he... There's some domino meme you could make that starts off with "Writing a novelisation featuring bootleg Cybermen" and ends with "Writing a human-presenting entity dating a giant humanoid mantis man"... Good for him!

The weirdest consequence of this has to be how this affected Doctor Know-It-All's character, since, in the Oz series, Professor Wogglebug is enlarged by a character named "Professor Nowitall" which, you may notice, is basically the same name... so Doctor Know-It-All is the Wogglebug's adoptive father now. Good for him! But this also changed the Professor's standing in Oz society, somewhat, since Oz does tend to put magic users in higher positions of power, which lead to the retcon in Lawyers and Tigers and Bears where it's revealed the Professor basically just asked his father to undo his banishment (as seen in A Series of Queer Events). Good golly.

Jenny Everywhere:

For the first time, I wrote about the OG Jenny in celebration of Jenny Everywhere Day! While The Rhino Tower features quite a few connections to the 925 Universe (featuring the 925 Universe's Jenny Everywhere, the Conan parody rendition of Grant Farrel/Thor, and even Albrecht D. Whipple, while not actually being from the 925 universe, is the nephew of the wizard cult leader, Artemas H. Whipple), I intended it to be readable without that knowledge.

Similarly, while it is a loose parody of the Conan story The Elephant in the Tower, it very much can be read without knowing that story (or indeed some of the other stories it references, including The Alchemist by H.P. Lovecraft, and The Black Tower by R.H. Barlow, the latter of which I wouldn't even reasonably expect anyone to get).

Also, I did a cover for it! Don't know where that blast of mild artistry came from, but I do know I haven't seen it since.

Work that has actually seen a competent editor:

While my talents certainly haven't gotten me far this year, I can always depend on Arcbeatle Press. For the April Fools anthology The Cosmology of Sherlock, I contributed two segments: Sherlock Versus Herlock (wherein Sherlock Holmes and Watson encounter Herlock Sholmes and Wilson) and Dark Dealings (wherein Watson takes a sponsorship deal from the Man in Grey - this was also referenced in Annals of the Jen).

More recently, I wrote the story Jenny Over-There's Wonderful Life for the anthology Coloth: The Book of the Snowstorm, wherein Jenny encounters a slightly overzealous angel who shows her just what the world would be like if she was gone (and if you think that sounds unoriginal, don't worry, I'm still working on a Christmas Carol pastiche).

I also contributed two pieces to the The Crew of the Copper Colored Cupids series: Crash Bang Wallop (a very very very very loose Fight Club parody - more of the book's writing style than anything), and Cupid Fact File - 150 Chaotic Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids Chortlers (inspired by a video I saw of this terrible joke book claiming to somehow have "Over 150 Great Pizza Jokes" - you can tell they were really stumped on how to live up to this promise, since three of the jokes have the premise of throwing a pizza into a lake, with the punchline being a lake pun).

What's Next?

I wasn't joking about doing a Christmas Carol retelling, I am writing that one... and it's going to be a big one. And it's not really Christmas-related (unlike last year's "A Very Jenny Over-There Christmas"), so I feel comfortable just releasing it whenever it's finished. Hopefully soon.

It's also been advertised in the back of a few Arcbeatle Press books at this point, so I guess I can comfortably say that I have written for Academy 27 Season 2! I won't say much about this story, except for it being a sequel to "Hall Pass".

Of course, I never plan too far, but I do have hopes for what 2024 will bring. I hope I get to work with more of the wonderful associates I've met since I started writing professionally, and I hope I get to know some of the newer faces that have popped up recently. I hope I stay creative, even as my life gets busier, and I hope this output reaches people and they enjoy it. I know there's such a thing as just writing for yourself, but also I do want my work to be seen by an understandably small audience that gets a quick chuckle. I hope I read more, and I hope that the price for miscellaneous baked goods goes down.

Happy New Year (but only to people who could be bothered to read this far)!

[thienvaldram]

The Book of the Snowstorm – Readthrough/Review Part 1

Part 1

I will first clarify that I am not a great reviewer especially for something as passionate as this. I will endeavour to do my best though.

Foreword

Does this count? It’s an real life statement than a story but I did enjoy how it contextualises the anthology and I’m a fan of the light, but not mean spirited, jab at the 60th Anniversary’s more blatant and flamboyant celebrations and the general sentiment that the Third Universe is too big to be spanned by any one story or copyright or anything.

Previously on the Multiverse

Fun little rundown of just how big this little section of the wider multiverse really is. From the Archons, to the 10,000 Dawns to the Cupids and more. I admit I’m not familiar with a lot of it but this did a pretty good job making it seem like fun.

Scene 1

Nice intro, like the setting and this is pretty much my first intro to the characters besides brief readings of the wikis entry on the Cactus and the Corpse (I really need to get to Horrors of Arcbeatle at some point though quite frankly my wider knowledge of this part of the Universe needs a lot more filling in). Either way, nice little setup with Martisa and Callum trapped in a room with three unknown elements.

Magic Bird of Fire

To be honest, I find it difficult to reasonably review pieces that serve as simple little character pieces like this (Which may make the rest of this book a bunch of very similar short reviews like this tbh). SIGNET’s an interesting group to contrast with UNIT and Torchwood and PROBE and the like but this isn’t even really all that much about them, more about Aoife specifically. Fun characterisation and a neat little setting but not too much more I can say than that. I enjoyed it.

Scene 2

I do like the way the framing narration weaves the stories into its narrative. Linking the title of Magic Bird of Fire to the missing Rich and connecting Coloth’s presently missing circumstances to the following story.

The Dinosaur in the Snow

Ok so can’t review this one. For the potentially obvious implications that it was me who wrote it and that seems a little unfair. Best I can say is I enjoyed writing it and am proud of how it turned out, especially with Aristide’s editing work I cannot praise that enough.

If anyone has any questions about the story feel free to ask, though I cannot guarantee a meaningful answer especially in regards to statements of authorial intent, there are things I will not confirm nor deny.

Scene 3

We finally get to see what happened to Coloth and Rich, and there’s a little more on the nature of the books. I am really enjoying the library setting.

And that’s it for the moment, not too much to say but I did say I wasn’t that good at this.

[rjalker]

@walks-the-ages describe the coloth cover since you know moer about it