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ajnata · 4 years

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THE DARKEST SKIES,

↳ a writeblr introduction by xiyais.

ABOUT.

hello, i’m a mess! also known as astra, i’m fifteen, use they/them pronouns, and my mbti is one of the greatest mysteries of the 21st century. it’s a pleasure to meet you <3

i was previously on writeblr as @burningapollos but i decided to start anew after losing the motivation to keep that blog running. you can also find me at @antinomes, where i mostly scream about books and make edits!

as prefaced by me having a litblr, i adore literature and reading. some of my favourite books include: the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, felix ever after, the night circus, and anything written by either k ancrum or marie lu. if you would ever like to discuss books, feel free to send an ask/dm!

my wips are an honest jumble of plot points and characters but they are my honest jumble of plot points and characters, and i hope that through my writeblr you they will connect with you as well. i would also love to talk about your wips, so please expect me in your ask boxes asking questions about them!! my wips and the tag list are under the cut.

MY WIPS. ► unofficial: tag / introduction.

I: THE HILLS are a lush green, in contrast to the monochrome town below. A rosemary lined house burns and a girl smiles a dangerous smile. Hyacinth Aquino has ruined her hometown, wrecked her alliances, and is the most satisfied she has ever been. She is also lost, and a little bored. For so long, Hyacinth’s purpose has been to put an end to the horrors of Whispering Hills but now that it has been done, she does not know where to go next. Fate, however, strips that choice from her when she suddenly finds herself burning in a fireplace. II: RED SKIES rumble, blooming in the wake of an monarch’s anger. A shadow merges into a being at the heel of an heir’s throne. Imay Upadhyaya has been preparing themselves for this moment for a long time, but betraying their parent is still painful. The Zimba Games are fast approaching and with the fate of Xiyai on the line, there can be no mistakes on any of their parts. They hope they haven’t just made the biggest one. III: SHADOWS CREEK whispers to its students: run. They don’t listen. It has been thousands of years since Arnesh Patel has seen light. Stuck in his shadow, having to constantly listen to it’s ramblings, he is more than grateful that his exile is over — until he learns the reason why. As the wind howls itself into a new century Xiyai must find itself a new ruler, but as agendas clash and morals are put to the test, it is becoming unclear whether this will save Xiyai or result in its downfall.

► the imminence of gray: tag / introduction.

It is the spring of 1897, and London is crawling with dreams and dreamers alike. Rumours swirl in hushed voices about shadows grinning in the dark, voices cooing in heads, and people disappearing in the rain — tones seeming, for now, more fascinated than terrified.

Under the shelter of rain, the subjects of these rumours crow on in a motley of languages about anything and everything burying the fear of getting caught deep inside. Their heads pound with hangovers and the persistent babbles of minds begging to be let in. Some find themselves bending to the madness, others flurry about until the night has come and the voices are unable to reach them. But the peace lasts only as long as the night does. The Imminence of Gray may fail to protect them still.

Somewhere beyond the reaches of the rumor mill, there is a child with a fascination for secrets. Whether they are tiny white lies, or those that turn one’s life upside down, she wants to know them. However, having spent their whole life collecting and writing about secrets, they are wary to reveal their own. Which is why they never tell anyone of their dreams. Or the man that came to visit her. Or how they went with the man. Or about the voice in her head. The thing about secrets though, is that they have a way of getting out.

When the dreamers start becoming hunted, Everly finds themselves in possession of a secret that could result in the downfall of the Imminence. With her dreams becoming sporadic, and a thousand enemies at her heel, the whispers of the voice are becoming harder and harder to ignore because it's not asking to be let in; it's asking to be set free.

taglist.

► if you would like to remain on the taglist please send me an ask!

#wtwcommunity #writeblr #writer community #writeblr community #writers on tumblr #writeblr intro #writing #invention.

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howemancing · 3 years

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WIP Wednesday?

I was tagged by @dalishkadan. I tag uh. @thedascharlatan, @allisondraste, This is somewhat a sneak preview for my main fic, but I’m also not sure I’m gonna keep it - it’s an intense chapter and this might be a little too off the main point of the chapter. It’s WIP, so clearly editing hasn’t happened yet. A flashback scene in progress - maybe the last I’ll do for awhile?

Elsa Cousland, 9 years ago

Grey eyes stared at me, stony, cold, and full of threat. My throat felt suddenly drier; what had I done to piss Nathaniel off this time? It had been a long time since I’d made him so genuinely angry.

My grip tightened on my daggers, holding them ready. I could see him do likewise, eyes narrowed.

“You can do this, pup,” Father cheered me from the sidelines.

Rendon chuckled, casting a sidelong glance. “Are you so certain she needs the encouragement, my lord?”

Papa clapped him on the back cheerfully. “Probably not, old friend, but a father can’t help be proud of their child. I admit, I’m rooting against yours, now.”

Rendon chuckled, but my focus was back on Nathaniel, who was openly scowling at this point.

“Are you...alright?” I asked, hesitant.

“Focus on the match,” he chided me immediately. Which, rude, but he wasn’t wrong.

I nodded, getting into a ready stance.

“Begin,” Rendon’s voice snapped out.

In a flash, Nathaniel came at me harder than I’d ever seen before. The ferocity of it almost made me lose the match right there, but a particularly aggressive moment on his part left a wide opening I could brutally punish with a kick, buying myself a moment of breath.

“Attagirl, Pup!” Father called cheerfully, while Nathaniel scowled harder.

I stared at him, trying to divine what was wrong, but after a moment, realized it didn’t matter. Father was here. Father was going to decide if I’d learned anything after all. I had to prove myself, prove that I hadn’t wasted my years, that I wasn’t the silly, frivolous girl Rendon thought I was.

Everything was riding on this moment. I wouldn’t let even Nathaniel stand in my way.

I met his eyes, then, determined. In his own I saw understanding - and, confusingly, hurt. Clearly I’d erred somehow, but I’d have to find out why, later. This match mattered. And if Nathaniel wanted to bring his all to stop me, well, I could appreciate the challenge. And I’d rise above it.

Unusually for us, no taunts were exchanged, no words spoken. Nathaniel’s practice daggers flashed out, continuously intent on striking the killing blows which would end the match. I ducked and wove around them. Thomas had given me more than enough training in someone who just wanted to do whatever it took to stop me. Coming from Nathaniel, it was surprising, but - this was Nathaniel.

I was missing something, and as much as I wanted to focus, my brain couldn’t help pick apart the knot of whatever was wrong with my friend. It took me a moment, but finally I realized - he just wanted to push me, to give me every chance in the world of showing off exactly how much I had learned.

A savage grin took me, finally stumbling upon this realization, and the last chain holding me back fell away. Nathaniel was holding nothing back. Why should I?

I struck out, sliding my dagger in between the gaps in his defense I’d noted, beginning to score on him more and more. His frustrations only seemed to grow, which I didn’t quite understand, but it didn’t matter. The match was steadily turning in my favor. Nathaniel usually had a plan, and tended to get easily unsettled when things threw him off - and grumpy, too.

I could use that.

One particularly keen moment locked us, and I felt him trying to bear his entire strength down on me, which felt a bit unfair, as he had 5 years and a few stone on me.

“I’ve always admired you,” I said quietly, and his eyes widened, startled. I used that moment, hooking out a leg and breaking his stance.

“But I won’t let you stop me,” I finished, shoving hard at the right moment, forcing his stumble back.

It was enough of a weakness, and I pounced, practice daggers flashing faster then they ever had before. A particular energy had taken hold of me. Rendon had never believed in me, but couldn’t I prove myself, now? I was good. I was very good, I knew I was. Nathaniel believed in me - why else would he come after me so hard? I would show them all.

Nathaniel, my rival, my best friend (with Delilah!), the boy I’d been silly enough to have a crush on, thankfully one I was finally getting over. But he was smart, talented, and I would prove I was his equal. No, that I was better. Maybe there were some things he could still beat me in, and he was probably a better rogue than me, but like Thomas always said, I was a freakishly violent girl. I could do this.

It wasn’t easy. He was probably my fiercest challenge to date. But in the end, I was more prepared for his ferocity than he was mine, and the match ended when I dumped him on his butt and slammed forward, dagger hovering at his neck.

My father let out a loud whoop, but Nathaniel just squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. And it began to occur to me that Nathaniel very much hadn’t wanted to lose.

“Ashes, Nate, what’s wrong?” I muttered, dagger still hovering, hesitant, at his neck.

“Nothing,” he lied, refusing to meet my eyes. “Congratulations on your victory.”

Father congratulated me with a whoop and a fierce hug, which squished all the giggles out of me as I clung right back to him.

“Didja see, didja see-?” I began, and father laughed louder, kissing my cheek.

“Old friend, you’ve trained her wonderfully,” he congratulated my mentor. “Better than your own son, I noticed!”

“Thank you, my lord,” Rendon replied evenly. Nathaniel stood up, brushing himself off, looking bitter.

Oh. Oh.

Sod it all. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I found him later by our tree, angrily chucking stones into the lake.

“Hey,” I said hesitantly, unsure. He had to be aware of my approach, and yet he’d said nothing.

“Good match,” he said evenly, chucking another stone.

“What’s-”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he asserted immediately, lying.

I stamped a foot. “Nate,” I objected, stealing the next stone before he could chuck it. He blinked, looking at his hands, before glancing to me, sighing.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m being an ass.”

“A little,” I agreed solemnly, and he scowled, before a rueful expression took his face. “But I was an ass too, I shouldn’t’ve-”

“This isn’t your fault,” he interrupted me quietly. “Honestly. You did - you did everything right.”

“So what’s-”

“I’ll miss you,” he told me, and it was excuse enough; I launched myself at him and hugged him tightly.

“I’m not gone, you goose, just going home,” I pointed out. “You can visit me any time. You and Delilah. In fact, I insist!”

He chuckled faintly, reverberating his ribcage pleasantly, arms tightening around me. It began to provoke inconvenient feelings in me, so I disengaged. He sighed, shoulders slumping as he allowed it, eyes drifting to the lake. “It’s...going to be a little hard to visit, soon,” he said gently.

“See, that’s why you should come in late fall, and then, oops! Guess you can’t travel and you’ll have to stay in Highever all winter,” I informed him cheerfully. “I can’t wait to show you everything, home is so pretty, and our hounds are WAY better, and we have so many beautiful trees, and...hey. Why do you look so glum?”

His hands twitched, and for a concerning second, I thought he wanted to fold me into another hug.

I probably wouldn’t have resisted, which said something about me. I really needed to explain to Nathaniel to stop flirting so much, but - it was my fault, really, for getting carried away, and anyway, it wouldn’t matter, soon, right?

But instead he just shrugged helplessly. “I...don’t think that will work,” he claimed, and I sighed. Neither he nor Delilah were keen to visit me, and I didn’t really understand why, but letting them know I was hurt would just be rude.

“Of course,” I said simply. “Well, I hope you’ll find the time to visit me at some point.”

“You’ll still visit us, right?”

I gave him a wan smile. “Any time, Nate. Just...just ask.”

“Ok. Ok, then,” he said quietly. A faint smile crinkled his eyes, which seemed - stormier than usual. “You did amazingly, today.”

“YEAH I did,” I crowed gloriously, pleased he had recognized as much.

“I bet so many nobles are going to want to marry you, now that you’re going back home,” he pointed out, and I shoved him, hard.

“I’ll make you eat dirt again, I will,” I threatened him.

He chuckled, faintly, and with a surprising lack of grace for Nathaniel, plopped down on the ground, and after a moment, I came to sit next to him. “I’ve dreaded this day for so long,” he confided in me. And I blinked.

Then sighed. Damn these boys and their damnable pride. “Nathaniel, you’re still a much better rogue than me,” I admitted, words galling, but he deserved the honesty. “If you’d had real daggers, if you’d wanted to kill me - th’match would have been over much quicker. I just went for your weaknesses and tricked victory out of you.”

“Elsa!” he said, shocked. “I don’t-”

“Want to hurt me, I know,” I groused, rolling my eyes. “I just mean - I’m gonna have an advantage in friendly matches. ‘Specially against people I know. But when it counts, if you were up against a real bad guy...well, I’m very glad we’re friends, is all.”

“You wouldn’t have to leave if we were engaged!” he burst out.

I stared at him. And blinked. And fought the sudden tears in my eyes. Dang rogues, why did he always have to go for my weakest parts?

“Oh - oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” he said quickly

I laughed, forced. “Don’t joke like that, Nate, it’s rude.”

“I…” he said, trailing off. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“I forgive you,” I told him immediately.

“Liar,” he whispered. “I keep hurting you and you keep forgiving me, and-”

“Nate,” I breathed, aggrieved. “You’re making a big deal out of it. Stop. I said I forgive you and I mean it. You’re my friend, I don’t - I don’t want to be mad at you.”

“Oh.”

Silently we sat, staring at the water before us, Nathaniel a gloomy cloud next to me.

“I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished here,” I said quietly, wishing my friend would just be happy for me. “Even if - even if your dad thinks I’m silly, I’m - I’ve learned a lot. And I’m happy I’m going home. I missed my family, Nate,” I said quietly.

He hunched over, lower. “Oh. Maker. I’m such a selfish ass.”

Considering he was getting all contrary about visiting me and expected me to drop everything and visit him - “You are,” I agreed.

His scowl deepened, and somehow the shadows seemed to grow. “Are you going to forgive me for that too?”

I snorted, giving him a sidelong look, assuming he was teasing, but he just glared ahead. “Only if you come visit,” I teased him.

A spark of life appeared in his eyes, then. “Ok. That’s fair.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He never did end up visiting me, but he had a pretty good excuse. Not long after I left I got a letter, informing me he was going to go all the way to Starkhaven to start knight training. I may have thrown myself onto the bed and sobbed a bit when I read that. But he asked me to come visit to see him off, and there was really only one response.

Seeing the Howes again was fun, though of course Thomas challenged me to a sparring match right away and the cad tried to turn it into overly touchy wrestling. Unluckily for him, I suddenly remembered I didn’t have to care about pissing him off too much such that he’d whine to his father, so I simply caught him in an unforgiving headlock and choked him out, dropping him unceremoniously to the dirt when I finished.

Delilah claimed time, as apparently Nathaniel was getting his clothes fixed by Adraia, and had borrowed Helma from Delilah as well, so she found it only fair to borrow me.

We laughed and giggled and swapped stories about Nathaniel, both of us keen to avoid admitting how much we’d miss him.

“Did you ever tell him how you used to feel?” Delilah asked me.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m over it, Delilah, what’s the point in bringing that old story up?”

“I guess,” Delilah agreed, flouncing back on her bed, legs kicking out. “It’s still be cute though.”

I giggled. “You’re such a silly romantic,” I teased her. “What do you want me to do, write a love letter?”

“Elsa, no!” she protested, offended.

“Oh dearest Nate, my heart yearns the hardest, it burns so burningly,” I began performatively.

“Elsaaaaa!” she whined, standing up and stamping her foot. “You can’t confess through letters, that’s just wrong.”

“Didn’t what’shiface confess to what’sherface through a letter?” I pointed out slyly.

“Exactly,” Delilah agreed. “It went TERRIBLY. See-”

I quickly waved my hands in surrender. “No, please, don’t try to tell me about that book more, it’s rotting your brain.”

“I’m just saying,” Delilah pouted. “You’re friends. You shoulda told him properly, is all.”

I giggled. “I’m glad I didn’t. That would have been SO mortifying.”

“But-”

“Lilah, c’mon.” My eyes slid from hers, and her mouth snapped shut, apparently my tone was more serious than I meant to reveal. “I’m not as brave as you think I am.”

She sighed, and came to sit next to me, arm around my shoulder, and we sat in silence. “I’ll miss him.”

Tears welled in my eyes, and with effort, I forced them back. “Me too,” I whispered.

#Nathaniel Howe #elsa cousland #fanfiction #wip #delilah howe

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vandorens-archive · 4 years

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hi! i saw your rec post on enemies to lovers wips, and i was wondering if you had any murder mystery wips? alkjsdfa;sdfh i've been on a dark academia wip spiral recently, but really any wip that involves a murder as an important plot point are fine.

murder mystery wips, you say? well, if you know me, you know that i’m a sucker for a good mystery, and writeblr is full of them! under the cut are a few top-notch works you should definitely check out—hair raising, nail biting, and heart racing:

(in alphabetical order)

A GANG CALLED ICARUS, @kindlywriting — “In the winter of 1983, the deteriorated body of a wanted criminal washes onto the shore of Lake Michigan. Once a member of the world’s most notorious crime ring, the discovery of Price’s dead body unravels a complicated web of mystery, obsession and revenge for the people he left behind. It was hard to be a well-liked criminal. But it wasn’t that hard for Price. The question is, who killed him?” [introduction post]

thoughts: a road trip thriller and a murder mystery? sign. me. up. the characters have incredibly distinct voices and such fascinating personalities + backstories!

EVAN IS NOT THE MURDERER, @mshelleys — “Evangeline ‘Evan’ Munson didn’t remember anything the night before she woke up that morning. She didn’t remember coming home, she didn’t remember going to sleep, and she definitely didn’t remember if she was the one who killed Harmony Harper, the one person she swore to protect” [wip page] [introduction post]

thoughts: a ‘small, 1980′s-esque town’ setting, an all-female main cast and chaotic detective lesbians, i mean, what more could you want?

MURDER OF CROWS, @septemberliterature — “Alexander Wright and his friends spend their time writing and drinking bitter coffee at Maple Hill School of Excellence; a school that prides themselves in developing their young ladies and gentlemen for the world of tomorrow. Their Advanced Literature course is all the six friends think about. They eat, sleep and write. And suddenly their lives no longer revolve around their craft.

Claudia Chen is dead. Sweet, innocent Claudia is dead. And now her friends are scrambling to pick up the broken pieces of her life” [wip page] [introduction post]

thoughts: whoever said dark academia couldn’t have likeable characters has not read murder of crows yet. i love reading how they interact with each other and how claudia’s murder affected each one of them.

SPRING HANGING, @inheriting — “A body washes up on the shores of Edgewater Brooks, an elite boarding school located on an isolated island, its arrival only complicating already existing tensions. it’s the start of a downfall + the collapse of long kept secrets, but for Vienna Tan, newcomer by way of scholarship, it’s the question (and answer, however awful) that she’s been seaching for” [introduction post]

thoughts: sometimes i’ll be sitting somewhere and i’ll randomly think of amaryllis naoson and felix koh and just tear up, literally. the way the character relationships are woven into the mystery is so satisfying.

TEETH AND LUNGS, @starshots — “For the seniors of St. Augustine High School’s Class of 2015, life is good. Summer is right around the corner, and from there a leap of faith into the great big, beautiful, unknown that is the world. The hallways are humming with fervor, excitement and whispers about prom, graduation, and all their plans for life afterward. And then everything comes to a screeching halt when senior Micah Kwon-Reid wakes up one morning to find a police officer on his doorstep bearing news that his older brother Elijah’s body was discovered in the lake” [introduction post]

thoughts: the premise of this wip brings a chill up my spine in, like, the best way possible. from the way it’s written in this subtly creepy way (letting you know that something is very, very wrong) to how the supernatural elements are written in is incredible.

THE ANOMALY PROJECT, @goatsghostwrites — “Teenagers in a beachside city have been developing superhuman abilities over the past few months, and are now disappearing rapidly. Rhys Fujiyama is one of the few who are still looking into this mystery—who’s kidnapping kids? where are they taken? why do only some return alive?—but the stakes change when her personal life gets involved” [wip page] [introduction post]

thoughts: an unconventional mystery with superpowers! also, fantastic characters

THE PINNACLE OF ART, @ambrosichor — “A group of students decide to travel around Europe stealing the greatest artworks in humanity. In pursuit of possessing the height of civilisation, art slowly consumes them as their descent into madness leads to their demise. What soon unfolds is the very essence of the fragility of humanity” [wip page] [introduction post]

thoughts: if someone gave me the chance to talk about how well written this wip is, i could, and i attest, go on for hours and hours. it’s quite literally a work of art (get it? okay i’ll see myself out now)

WHAT LIES BENEATH, @viviuyn — “There is only one thing I can tell you for certain: Connie Walsh is dead. Now, whether Jubilee Creek was the last place she ever saw or whether it was the face behind the trigger has nothing to do with me. Or, at least, it didn’t for a while” [introduction post]

thoughts: featuring my favourite narrator with a side of hate-love relationships, what lies beneath is, truly, the perfect murder mystery to curl up with.

WHITE TEETH AND RED PACTS, @ditzysworld — “When six high school girls broke into the closed off wing of the prestigious Annesley Booth Academy on a dare, the last thing they expected was to develop superpowers. for a while, they were inseparable, bonding over their little secret. But soon the drama and stresses of high school got in the way and by the time graduation rolled around, drifting apart was inevitable.

Until seven years later, when one of them, Vanessa, is found dead in her apartment, killed in an apparent home invasion gone wrong” [wip page] [introduction post]

thoughts: another murder mystery wip with superpowers! includes a girl clique (yes), found family (yes), and many references to lorde’s pure heroine (yes, and speaking of, check out chay’s pure heroine drabbles that go alongside wtrp!)

#if anyone has any more suggestions feel free to reply/reblog this post with them!#answered.#anonymous.#( p.s: this post is queued! )#long post #( why doesn't a read more work on mobile goddamit )

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jesatria · 6 years

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The Other Princeps, Chap 32

Title: The Other Princeps Fandom: Codex Alera Characters: Aquitainus Attis, Amara, Antillus Raucus, Ensemble Pairings: past!Attis/Invidia, slight past!Attis/Septimus, Attis/OCs Word Count: 3,145 Rating: R Summary: In which Attis’s confrontation with Invidia during the Battle of Riva goes better for him. AU. WIP. Warnings: Massive spoilers for First Lord’s Fury. Disclaimer: I do not own the Codex Alera. This is only for fun & no profit is being made from it. Previous Chapters:

Chapter 32: Breaking the News

We decided to share the news with my children first. Phaidros, predictably, reacted with the most enthusiasm. “So you really will be my mother now?” he asked Camilla as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Yes, Phaidros,” she replied, patting him on the back. I supposed the idea of a man marrying his mistress wasn’t an entirely foreign idea to a boy who’d grown up in a brothel. This did occasionally happen when a patron decided to marry a girl he’d grown fond of.

Thyra, by contrast, was shocked. “Can you… do that?” she managed to ask.

“We’ll see what happens when I ask the First Lord for permission, but I am confident he will agree. He intends to reform the marriage laws so Citizens can marry whoever we desire.” She gaped at me with wide eyes—as a noble, she’d likely known all about the marriage laws even if her bastard status would’ve made a good match unlikely for her. Or perhaps she didn’t believe Octavian would actually make good on his promise. “I assure you, Thyra, we are completely sincere.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that—to be honest I’ve been practicing my metalcrafted shields more often lately largely because the feelings I get from both of you when you’re together are rather… intense,” she admitted.

Both Camilla and I had a laugh at that. “That strong, are we?” I did have a tendency to relax my shields when around her, making my feelings obvious to anyone with watercrafting as strong as Thyra’s.

“You must know the Citizenry will be furious about this,” Thyra continued. “They’ll think you were stringing them along, that you never took any of those marriage offers seriously.”

“I swear I was sincerely considering them, until I came to a realization last night that is,” I assured her. “I can handle the Citizenry. It helps to not give a damn what they think.”

Thyra smiled. “Good thing I’ve already got experience in that area.”

Melitta greeted our announcement with similar excitement as Phaidros had. The girl still regarded me with a certain degree of awe and seemed to have a fascination with Camilla. For her part, Camilla found this endearing and did all she could to help Melitta feel at home. It was working, as she was gradually coming out of her shell. Both she and Phaidros absolutely loved their crafting lessons and went about them with an enthusiasm which reminded me of myself when I was young.

Telling the family would be an entirely different matter from telling my children. I opted to wait for dinner before breaking the news to them. “I have an announcement to make,” I began once the meal had concluded. Silence gradually fell over the table, which now included my children—I’d by this time introduced them to the rest of the family. “We can put the question of my marriage to rest. I have chosen to marry Camilla.” More silence. They stared at me, likely trying to guess if I were joking. “This is no jest. Camilla and I are quite sincere.”

Waves of shock hit me. Their faces were stunned, mouths agape, as they tried to process what I’d just said. Elania, predictably, was the first to recover. “Have you taken leave of your senses? You cannot possibly be serious!”

“I am completely serious, dear Aunt. I have given the matter serious thought and I have decided that this is where my heart truly lies.” I smiled. “It was never anywhere else.”

“Marrying your mistress, an infamous courtesan.” Elania shook her head. “The very idea is madness. You’ll cause a huge scandal!”

“And our new First Lady is a Marat,” I retorted. “Welcome to the new Alera! If I want to marry a courtesan instead of a Citizen then by crows I’ll do it!”

“The Citizenry will not be pleased about this, Attis,” Eolus interjected. “They’ll consider it an insult.”

“And I can’t find it in me to give a damn what they’ll think. I can deal with them. Let them talk. If I have to meet some of them in the juris macto, so be it. They’ll have to accept it once I get the First Lord’s approval.”

“You are certain you’ll get it?” Elania inquired.

“Absolutely certain. He told me he means to reform the marriage laws,” I replied.

“Well then, I suppose there will be no dissuading you,” Elania conceded, “but I do not think this is a politically sound decision.”

“I don’t give a damn about that,” I retorted. “My first marriage was made for political concerns and it was a disaster. Forgive me for not pursuing the same this time around.”

“That could’ve gone worse,” Camilla remarked as we walked to my chambers after dinner was over. “I hope your aunt won’t continue to disapprove of us.”

“She won’t. Well, at least she’ll not do anything to actively oppose us. She was virulently against me marrying Invidia, but was forced to grudgingly accept it. I think she’ll come to accept this in time,” I answered.

“I hope you’re right. I’d rather not have the enmity of anyone in your family. The hatred of the entire Citizenry—at least the women—is quite enough,” she remarked, grasping my arm.

“Don’t worry about the Citizenry,” I told her. “What of your family? I imagine they’ll be pleased.”

“Oh, they’ll be elated,” she replied. “It’s the dream of every courtesan to find such stability for herself. Marrying the High Lord is nearly a dream beyond imagining, given the laws. To be perfectly honest, I never thought you and I would marry. I never expected it. I was perfectly happy to be your consort. This… is something else altogether.”

“Well, you’ll be unsurprised to know I never thought of marrying you until last night. It never would’ve been possible under the old laws and so the thought never occurred to me. Marriage and love have been entirely separate concepts to me for years, until now that is,” I admitted. This had been my understanding for most of my life. I’d been raised with the expectation that I’d marry a member of the Citizenry for political connections and children with strong crafting abilities. With this knowledge, I also became aware that there were plenty of opportunities for love and pleasure outside of marriage. It was common practice among the Citizenry. Even my father, who loved my mother, was known to patronize courtesans from time to time. Is it any wonder, then, that it took me a bit of time to break free of such assumptions?

“You and I are very alike in that way. I was always taught that it was doom for a courtesan to love a patron. Both my mother and aunt tried to warn me when they noticed me falling for you.” She gave my arm a brief squeeze. “Every day I’m glad they turned out to be wrong.”

Camilla was entirely correct about how her family would react to us. Her mother and aunt were both positively ecstatic and her brother was pleased at the news. Sabina immediately wanted to hold a party to celebrate our engagement, but as the Midsummer Festival was nearly upon us there was little sense in having another party just for that. It was my plan for the Midsummer Festival to proceed as it would in any other year. The people needed a return to normalcy and the Festival was the perfect opportunity for it. “I doubt the people would tolerate going without the Midsummer Festival,” I remarked to Camilla as we made our way back to the palace.

“Oh, no doubt there would be riots,” Camilla added. The Midsummer Festival consisted of a week of celebrations, culminatimg in an extravagant ball on the day of the summer solstice. Aquitaine was rather known for its Midsummer festivities throughout Alera and preparations would usually start months in advance. This year we would have less than a month.

“Are you entirely up to handling the preparations, my dear?” I laid a hand on Camilla’s arm. “It’s one of the High Lady’s responsibilities. I can certainly assist you as much as I am able.”

“Well, I suppose it’ll be a good test for me,” she replied. “Though it’s not the first ball I’ve organized, it will be my first time organizing something on this scale.”

As soon as we arrived at the palace, Camilla immediately began the process of moving the possessions she hadn’t already brought over into her chambers. A decent portion of her possessions were gifts given by adoring patrons, including myself. It was common to offer a courtesan gifts, especially jewelry, as signs of particular favor in addition to her standard fee. “I hadn’t quite realized until today precisely how much jewelry you have,” I commented as servants carried her jewelry boxes into the palace.

“I suppose I’ll need to get rid of much of it soon.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why exactly would you do that?”

“Because I have many pieces given to me by other patrons. If I’m to be your new Lady Aquitaine, I can hardly wear them.”

I gaped at her, honestly shocked by her response. “Why on earth do you think I would ask you to do such a thing? Do you think I consider your past something shameful that needs to be hidden?”

“No, not exactly, but do you really want me wearing jewels given to me by other men once I’m married to you?” she inquired.

“I couldn’t possibly care less about that! Your past is not a source of shame for me—on the contrary, I consider it a mark in your favor! Don’t forget I first heard about you from Vitellus.” I pulled her into my arms. “I don’t give a damn about what the Citizenry think is proper.”

She grinned. “Well then, I’m glad we’re both fully committed to the scandal we’re about to cause.”

“If we’re going to cause one inevitably, we might as well not do it by halves,” I replied. Once all of her baggage was unloaded I led her into her new chambers, which had recently been Invidia’s chambers.

They were exactly as they’d been before Invidia disappeared. The only people to come inside had been servants cleaning. All of her possessions were still there, as I hadn’t yet seen fit to dispose of them. I led Camilla through the solar and study and into the bedchamber. It felt strange standing there with her—I’d tended to avoid Invidia’s chambers, as the thought of her living in my mother’s chambers always rankled. She tended to come to mine on those occasions when we slept together. But now I could truly purge the rooms of every trace of her. “Feel free to help yourself to anything of Invidia’s you desire. She had a large collection of jewelry herself.”

Camilla raised an eyebrow as I drew back the drapes. “Were some of the pieces from you?”

“Aside from those traditionally belonging to the High Lady of Aquitaine which I was obligated to give her, yes. Appearances needed to be kept up.”

“Of course.” She set her jewelry boxes down on the vanity table and began looking through Invidia’s. “You’ve always had good taste in jewelry.”

“Thank you.” Being in this room reminded me of how much I’d disliked the way Invidia had redecorated it when she’d moved in. She’d seen fit to replace my mother’s frescoes of garden scenes with frescoes of pillars and other architectural elements. I found them to be rather dull, though they were well-done from a technical perspective. “Now that these chambers are yours, you are welcome to redecorate them however you like,” I informed her.

Camilla halted in her perusal of the jewelry and took a moment to view the frescoes. “I think I can come up with something better than this.”

“Something more like your bedchamber at the villa?”

“Precisely.”

“That would certainly be an improvement.” We spent a decent amount of time in there as Camilla unpacked her things. This involved sorting through Invidia’s clothes in order to make room for her own. Camilla was particularly taken with the gowns made of color-changing fabric and resolved to have them altered to fit her, although Invidia was both taller and more slender than she was. While she went through the clothes, I took some time to sort out the jewelry which had been my mother’s.

“These belonged to my mother,” I told her. “Some of them are jewels traditionally belonging to the High Lady of Aquitaine and have been in the family for generations. They’re yours now.”

“Oh Attis, thank you,” she said softly, accepting them from my hands. “It must’ve galled you, giving them to Invidia.”

“Yes. I would’ve given them to you some time ago if I could. Seeing Invidia wearing the jewelry was not something I wanted to deal with shortly after losing my mother,” I admitted. She’d passed away two years after my father. It had hit me particularly hard, as she’d been one of the only close confidants I had left. It was also the event which led to the first major shift in my relationship with Camilla. I’d gone to her to forget my grief and ended up sharing my feelings with her. She’d reacted with genuine sympathy and understanding beyond the affected feelings typically displayed by courtesans and whores. In that moment our relationship made its first steps from courtesan and patron to something more.

Camilla examined the pieces, holding some of the necklaces up to her throat and looking herself over in the mirror. “What would she think of us if she were here, your mother? Would she approve?”

“Probably not initially, though she’d likely come around eventually after seeing how happy you make me,” I replied. “She did come to realize what Invidia was and told me on her deathbed that she regretted forcing me to marry her.”

“That would be the least she could do,” Camilla remarked, setting the necklaces back into the box. She met my eyes. “Thank you for all of this, Attis. I hope that I’ll be able to meet your expectations for a wife and High Lady. I know well what a trial your first marriage was and I want you to be happy.”

I pulled her into my arms. “I can’t see any way that you wouldn’t. Now all we need to do is weather the coming storm when I send out the rejection letters.”

Storm turned out to be an apt description. The rejection letters had scarcely gone out before the angry responses began pouring in. I didn’t specify who I’d chosen for my bride in them, but the word had gotten out. How could it not, now that the household knew? I proceeded to paythe angry responses little mind, which wasn’t hard given how much there was to do in preparation for the upcoming festival. By contrast, obtaining permission from Octavian was easy. He gave us his consent, but advised us to wait until he formally reformed the marriage laws.

That evening, Camilla and I spent some time looking over the responses to my rejection letters. I noted with some amusement that she seemed to take their opposition to her as a badge of honor. “Listen to this one—‘It is a disgrace to our city that you see fit to marry your lowborn mistress,’” she read.

“And my ‘lowborn mistress’ will be a far better wife and companion than any woman of the Citizenry,” I retorted. “That’s one who has apparently heard the rumors. I hope you are not bothered by that.”

“Rumors? Of course not.” Camilla picked up a grape and ate it slowly. I couldn’t help but watch her intently. “There have been rumors swirling about me since before I made my debut and this one has the merit of being true.” She held a grape to my mouth; my lips brushed against her fingertips as I took it.

“I wonder how many of them are aware of your pregnancy.” She had now reached the point where it was beginning to show, but that was easy enough to conceal if desired. My children and the rest of the family knew, and doubtless the servants did as well. But in all honestly, our engagement was a bigger scandal than her pregnancy. A High Lord getting a child on his mistress was hardly unusual. “Octavian suggested we wait a while before getting married so he can make the necessary legal changes to the marriage laws.”

She pursed her lips, considering it. “That does make sense. I suppose, then, our child will be born before the wedding.”

“Yes. That will be somewhat of a grey area when it comes to legitimacy. I’ll have to speak to Octavian about it.”

“So what do you mean to do about a legitimate heir?”

“I haven’t decided yet. Our child could be considered retroactively legitimate after we wed, or I could choose to make one of my illegitimate children my heir, as Raucus suggested. We shall have to see,” I replied.

She ate a few more grapes. “Do you think any Citizens will decide to make a scene during the gala?”

“I daresay some might try, and I shall have to answer them if and when they do.”

She smiled. “It is quite a contradiction, really. The city loves its courtesans as long as they remain in their place and do not rise to become High Lady.”

She made a good point—courtesans were celebrated, but in their proper place. “You are right about that, and I myself was no exception. But perhaps now, with you as the new High Lady of Aquitaine, that attitude will begin to change. We are in the new Alera, after all,” I replied with a grin. “In the meantime, the city will likely all but go into mourning for you, now that I’ve taken you off the market permanently.” It was true that some potential patrons had decided to stay away from the High Lord’s mistress, but it hadn’t driven them all away entirely until Camilla moved into the palace with me and stopped accepting patrons.

“That reminds me,” Camilla began, “will you be expecting me to be completely faithful to you once we’re married?”

“No, no, just use some discretion and make sure you don’t bear another man’s child. I’m hardly the man to lecture anyone about fidelity.”

“That you are not.”

“I assume you have accepted that I will not be faithful to you?”

She threw back her head and laughed. “Of course. How could I not, when you keep three concubines here? I know you all too well, Attis—you are not a man who can be tamed or contained.”

I drank the last of my wine and moved to kiss her. “Indeed I am not.”

#codex alera #the other princeps #aquitainus attis #jesatriafic #au

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iam-constant · 7 years

Text

Better Ends

#5 (Extreme WIP)

When is the exact moment, when it is decided that a person is dead? Is it when the heart stops, or when brain has had last of its waves? Or perhaps when the beautiful soul of ours leaves our bodies? I’ve died a lot lately. I think you’ve died as well, probably it’s from boredom. That’s probably the mark of an unfortunate life. We all die at some point, some more than others. I heard somewhere, that when you sneeze your entire body stops, isn’t that a way to explain death? When every part of your body refuses the controller? Refuses to move the way you want them to? When they refuse to listen to the reason and ignore everything? I wonder, am I not dead enough for your taste? The question is rhetorical of course, because you swinging that full metal bar, as hard as you are, gives all the answers a guy can ask for.

- Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! - You keep screaming as you swing the bar down on me and I have no other way but to get hit with it. - Is this what you wanted?

- What is going on? Why are you doing this? - I am so confused right now, but there is always a chance that it’s a mild concussion.

- Is this what you wanted? Look at me! - I can’t look at you, I don’t want to look at you. I’ll die for sure if I look at you.

- Talk to me woman, what did I do? We can sort it out. – I’m trying to cover my face and that’s when one of your swings hit the watch Margo gave. The watch breaks as does the connection between my soul and body, I feel a sudden shift, push out of body, it’s like my body says I’ve had enough of your shit, get the fuck out. I blank out.

*BLANK*

I fucking told you, didn't I? I told you it would end in something horrible. Well guess what? It fucking did. That miserable sack of shit is laying on his back, while you beat down on him. I can almost feel bad for the sod, but I can't. All I can think is hit harder, hit him in his skull, pour his brains out, make it rain blood. Wait, wait a second, wait for fuck sake, that miserable sack of shit is me, you are killing me! What is going on? What's happening? I'm out of my body again. Why the fuck, am I dead? I fucking did it again; I did something very wrong. I got my hopes up high again and you are crushing them with your bloodied iron bar, right along with my scull. The squirrel mask has blood spatters all over it and I think a bit of brains. Blood dripping down from crow bar has soaked the your clothes. What did I even do this time? I don't fucking remember a thing. Last thing I remember is being in statis, with you in a pub. Looking away and looking at you at the same time. I remember Mike bringing drink, but I don't remember anything after that. Why am I seeing a body? If I was statis, shouldn’t I be dead a long time ago. Jesus did I do something after I was dead? What could it be that deserves you smashing my head open with a crowbar? My body is long dead, but you're still swinging. I'm looking at you, I didn't think you had that in you, I didn’t want you to have it at all. I'm waiting for you to calm down. But you just swing as the squishy sound of what used to be my brain matter dissolves into the ground. You're not stopping, I think you're in shock. What the fuck did I do? I have to cross the statis again. Ah fuck, it hurts.

- I think he's dead princess. – I cross, but you're still not stopping. I hold your hand. - It's done, I'm dead you can stop. - You stop and turn your face towards me. - What the fuck did I do this time? - You fall on your knees. I don't hear you crying, you just look up. It seems like it’s going to rain. - I'm sorry princess; I'm really a horrible person. I'm sorry for whatever I did. - I must have deserved this right? I must deserve it for whatever I did. You wouldn't just do it for nothing. I must have done something really horrible. That's the kind of person I am right? - You don't have to be sad. It's over now. - Hah... I'm calming my own murderer, now that's a story to write about. I feel the tug on my soul, someone is pulling and calling. It's Nether, but I can't leave now. I fall face down in my own blood and goo. This is it I guess, I'm falling into the widening gyre. I wish I looked at your face before I was dragged down, man that will really tear me up.

I disappear. I A M N O T H I N G. Are you wondering how it feels? It's something similar to sleeping without dreams and wake up call, it's like what we all felt right before we were forced into this world, before all the crying starts. It's peaceful, it's calming and it’s relaxing. That's when I hear something. I think it's a song, is that Elliott Smith?

First the mic, then a half cigarette

Singing "Cathy's Clown"

That's the man that she's married to now

That's the girl that he takes around town

She appears composed, so she is, I suppose

Who can really tell?

She shows no emotion at all

Stares into space like a dead china doll

I'm never going to know you now

But I'm going to love you anyhow.

- Little boy, with a little heart got a little hurt. - I hear the voice from the darkness, hissing into my ears. - Do you like it? I threw some welcoming party just for you. Oh open your eyes already, you can sleep later. – I open my eyes.

- Hello Nether, it’s been a while. – I sit up, I’m in the casket. I look around, seems like I’m in her room.

- I’ve been calling you bad boy, why haven’t you been picking up?

- Oh, you know this and that. I’ve been busy you know.

- I can tell. You died twice just today; someone’s been having too much fun.

- Trust me fun is the thing I’ve been missing. – I got out of the coffin and sat on the bed, she sat right beside me.

- That’s not scary, we can have fun together. – She moved closer to me and put her hand on my face.

- Nether, I know you’re not going to like it, but can you please let me go back? – I stood up again.

- Back? Why would you have to go back there? You died twice today, rest here with me. You won’t be hurt; I’ll take care of you.

- You know I care about you Nether. I just have unfinished business to attend to.

- But... But I thought you wanted to stay? Isn’t that why you brought it here? Why won’t you not stay with me? – Nether started to get sad, that’s never good. I have to change her focus.

- Brought it here? What did I bring here? – She looked at me.

- You don’t remember? Oh that’s right, statis. Mortals forget things when they cross. – She held her tears. – Your house, it’s here. You asked me to bring it here.

- I did? - I have no recollection of that, why did I ask her to do that? Did I know I’d die? - When did I do that?

- Well, just before you were killed, the first time. Our conversation was cut off, because of it, but you asked me to bring your house here and I did it. I thought you got tired up there and decided to stay with me.

- I’m sorry Nether. I don’t remember why I asked you that. Where is my house now?

- Why should I tell you anything? You’re just going to leave me again for her.

- Nether please, something really weird is going down. Can you please tell me, where my house is? – She didn’t see like she wanted to say. - You know that it doesn’t matter how many times I go back up there, I’m destined to come back to you anyways. What’s couple of hundred years to you anyway? You’re immortal. – She smiled a bit.

- It’s just gets so boring around here. – She’s like a pampered princess. - I got excited when I receive your call. Can’t you just stay a bit longer?

- Sorry, I’m in a hurry right now. You know I’d stay if I could.

- I know, I know. I was watching your whole episode. That girl has some issues with you, you know that right?

- I didn’t notice. Look I have to get through this, can I go.

- Unless you forgot, there is no one can that can hold you here, your house is next room. – She pointed at the door. - But I will not be taking you into the living. Daddy will get mad.

- It’s OK. Thanks for the help, I’ll manage get out part somehow. – I opened the door and entered my house.

- See you soon. – I heard Nether call.

The house reeks like it used to, I guess there is no way of fixing that. I look around, everything seems normal. Now, what am I supposed to do? Then I suddenly remember, the key, you were looking for it. I go towards my bedroom. It’s still as messy as I left it this morning. I walk to the bad, and take the pillow out. Then I shake it, until a golden key falls down from it. I take it up and I’m uncertain for the next move. I lie down on the bad, remembering the way you were swinging that iron bar, it seemed so cold, so unlike you. Fuck, I can’t be thinking about this now. I need to focus. The key, it’s somehow all about the key. Maybe I left something inside the “worldmaker”, I should go in. I stand up and go towards the door that connects living room and my bedroom, I close it. I fit the key and turn it twice. I hear a click, it’s unlocked now. I open the door, the smell of Mexican potatoes hits me, ah I could eat now. I enter the world, it’s too bright for a second and then I look around. I see the view from the top of the mountain, everything looks so beautiful form here. I see galloping unicorns, flying octopus, gentleman lions with top hats and normal neck giraffe. I see all the creatures we brought to life here. I hope nobody was expecting for more? These are our old creation after all. I mean we were just kids when we were given “worldmaker”, what would we make, a city? We made a great playground and I never had the heart to destroy it. Also I lied, I come here almost every time I am drunk, I come here and have some existential conversation with intelligent owl. There is no time here, so I can talk and feel bad all I want. He’s been a good shoulder to cry on. Oh, that’s right my psychologist is a talking owl, deal with it. Actually I should find him. If I left something here, he will know for sure.

- Owl. – I screamed my lungs out. – Owl, it’s me, I gotta talk to you. – I heard the wings flapping from behind. – Hey Olli, how are you? - Owl looks at me with his wide eyes. They always make me think he doesn’t even see me.

- Hello there young man. You don’t look so good. Have you not been listening to my advises?

- I listen to all of them, I just don’t follow.

- Well, how can I be of help? Is it anything existential again?

- Not really Olli, this time I was just wondering if I left something here.

- Left something? Like a car keys? I don’t remember something like this.

- Are you sure Olli? I didn’t leave anything here when I left last time?

- I’m sure sir, that’s why I was created after all. – I started scratching my head. - I don’t know if this will help. You just said - the last time you left, But you never left sir.

- We’ve talked about this Olli, I know I have to move on. I don’t have time for this now.

- I’m not talking about your problems sir. I’m saying that you haven’t left this place, you are near the rivertea. I flew over you as I was coming to you.

- Wait what? How is that possible, there is another me here?

- I don’t think it’s another you, I think it is you.

- OK, this is getting out of hands already, what the fuck did I do? – I’m so confused, what does it mean I never left? I was just outside and died twice. – Take me to rivertea, where I am, I guess.

- Of course, just a second. - Olli flew up and I followed him. I probably walked 5 kilometer, but I got there in 5 second. It’s the design that we made to get around faster. I got to the rivertea and then walked down the banks. I saw where Olli was flying from far away. I also saw something like a body laying near the tree, it wasn’t moving. As I got closer and closer to it, I started recognizing it, it was really me. Well, at least, this me didn’t look dead. I mean I was holding a beating heart torn out of my chest, but it was still beating. And the rules of death in “worldmaker” is pretty sketchy. It’s really hard to die in here. I looked at myself, I was sleeping or in something similar to coma. My mouth was all bloodied, it seemed like I bit my own heart, why the fuck did I do that? What the hell is wrong with me?

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