#D K Tractors

[farmtracagri]

Welcome to D K Tractors. Your trusted Farmtrac dealership in Panipat & Madlauda. We have a team of 5 members who are devoted to serving all our customers.

[likecometsx]

rey skywalker tag drop  ┘*☄;

┘if i go outside i’ll see a tractor beam *☄; { i s m s }

┘if i go outside i’ll see a tractor beam *☄; { a e s }

┘if i go outside i’ll see a tractor beam *☄; { s t a r t }

┘if i go outside i’ll see a tractor beam *☄; { c o n v o }

┘if i go outside i’ll see a tractor beam *☄; { s o c i a l }

┘if i go outside i’ll see a tractor beam *☄; { m e m e }

┘if i go outside i’ll see a tractor beam *☄; { a s k e d }

┘if i go outside i’ll see a tractor beam *☄; { m o b i l e }

[mad4turtles]

I'm not sure if you're still doing writing requests, but I really loved your oneshot about Leo coming out to Splinter - it brought a few tears to my eyes thinking about my own coming out experience :') if you want, could you maybe do something about Mikey giving Usagi "The Shovel Talk"? It doesn't have to be serious, I just thought it'd be funny if Mikey went all Dr. Delicate Touch while Leo tries not to die in the background. Hope you have a good day/night! :D

I'm so sorry this took FOREVER to get out, I went through several drafts before I finally had to say it was fine XD Hope you enjoy :3

---

First Impressions (Part 2)

Miyamoto Usagi has become a regular guest in the Hamato household.

After introductions went about as smoothly as one could expect—Splinter warring between outrage and panic and glee that his Baby Blue was dating, and the rest of the family stunned that Leo actually has game (or maybe Usagi is just as dumb as he is)—the clan don't go long without seeing him wandering the lair, usually side by side with Leo.

In hindsight, that makes the death glares Donnie drills into the back of the rabbit's head make much more sense, but that's another issue.

Apparently, they'd been together three weeks before the introductions, and Mikey believes it. Just yesterday, he'd caught them through the crack of Leo's open bedroom door sitting together on the bed, sharing a pair of earbuds as Leo shuffled through his Spotify playlist, letting Usagi in on his atrocious taste in music.

“Hey, glam-rock is the shit,” Leo nudged Usagi's shoulder. “And you can't talk when all you listen to is J and K Pop, classical, country and Lofi.”

“Shut up, baka kappa,” Usagi nudged him back, grinning wide and showing off the buck front teeth that Leo found adorable. “Classical is thought-provoking, good for meditation. And I'll have you know Lofi is calming, something you never are about anything ever.” 

“Okay, I will allow that just this once but you cannot defend country or K Pop—”

“Contrary to popular belief, not all of your western music is about human Christian values, tractors or drinking—in fact, give me your phone, I'll show you my jazz playlist—”

“No!” Leo pulled his arm up, holding his phone out of Usagi's reaching paws even as the rabbit clambered over him. “Knowing you it'll be some awful jazz-lofi remix or somehow have Catholicism involved, people are getting creative in converting the masses—ow! No, get away from me—!”

“Your music sucks! You must be properly educated! Jazz is soothing for the soul!”

“But Queen! David Bowie! Prince!”

“All of the Hidden City knows you're gay, Leonardo, you don't have to blast it on speaker, too!”

“You attack me?! I let you into my house! I trusted you!”

 “Gankona baka! Kōfuku shite horobiro!”

  “Conejito idiota! ¡Fuera de mi trasero!”

They'd tousled for a bit before falling over on the bed and giving into giggles, barely any space between them. Leo's cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright and his grin a wide, dopey thing. Usagi called him a fool and nuzzled his nose against Leo's, earning a delighted chirp from the slider, and it was the happiest Mikey had seen him in months.

He's so in love it's gross. Mikey means that in the best way.

And Usagi seems like a nice guy. A really nice guy.

But they've been fooled by a pretty face and flowery words before. Last time, Leo had to bail them out. This time, Leo is too high up on cloud nine; he won't notice the danger until it's too late, and the fallout will be devastating.

Leo is strong, the strongest of them all as far as Mikey's concerned, in little ways they've never noticed until he'd showed them all by locking himself in hell with a demon. He's faced bigger, scarier things than any teenager—any person—ever should. But relationships? Dating? Being vulnerable with another person, opening your heart and trusting that person to take care of it, and in turn care for theirs? That's a beast of a different calibre.

Heartbreak happens to everyone; it's just how life is, and ignoring the ugly truth of it serves no one. Leo had barely survived his physical body breaking under metal fists driven by hatred and mindless bloodlust. Mikey doubts even he, with all that strength he possesses in spades that have carried him through some of the worst moments of their lives, would last long with a wound that deep.

Mikey loves him too much to let that happen.

(That, and he really doesn't want to kill Usagi, bail costs a lot, and not even Donnie has that much in his many wired accounts.)

So the trio meet up in Donnie's lab late one night and make a plan.

Miyamoto Usagi is gonna learn what'll happen if he messes with the Hamato clan.

~0o0~

A week later, Mikey corners Usagi at the front door.

The samurai in training doesn't startle when he drops from the ceiling or flinch at the smile that would have his brothers running for the hills. He smiles back, adjusting the duffle bag on his shoulder.

“Hello, Michelangelo. Nice of you to drop in,” he says, completely straight, and Mikey kind of wants to die. Leo did say they've been dating for a while. More than enough time for him to be a horrible influence on the otherwise straight (ha) laced samurai.

“Hey, Usagi! Here to see Leo?” Mikey asks like it's not obvious.

Still, Usagi nods. “That I am. We'd talked about some traditional Japanese snacks he hasn't tried before, so I bought some from the marketplace near my home.” He unzips his bag to let Mikey peek inside. “I'd be happy to share some with you and your brothers. I may have over-purchased.”

Mikey is dazzled by the array of absolutely delicious-looking snacks—including mango-flavoured mochi, oh be still his heart—but he shakes his head. Focus. Leo's heart and Usagi's continued existence depend on it. “That's great, Usagi, but I'm good for now. Actually, we gotta talk with you real quick before you see your boy. May I take your bag?”

Usagi blinks at him. “Oh. Um. Certainly?” He zips the bag up and shrugs it off, handing it to Mikey, and damn, he wasn't kidding. Did he buy out the whole store?

Mikey shoulders the bag and smiles. “Perfect! Now, stay still so Donnie doesn't accidentally knock you out.”

“Okay—wait, what—?”

Donnie drops from the ceiling and shoves a pillowcase over Usagi's head. 

And as Mikey expects, Usagi doesn't immediately struggle or fight: he freezes, an innate rabbit instinct kinda like how Mikey retreats into his shell. He almost feels bad for exploiting that weakness. Almost, because it gives Raph enough time to grab him in his massive arms, pick him up and carry him off to the atrium. Mikey and Donnie follow behind, the latter wearing an unsettling grin that tells Mikey he's enjoying this far more than he should. 

Blindfolded and trapped in Raph's solid grip. Usagi doesn't panic. Though his voice carries a twinge of worry when he says, “Is this a game? Am I being kidnapped? Did Leonardo put you up to this?”

“All will be revealed in good time,” Donnie says with a chuckle meant to sound ominous but it comes off as dorky. “Just relax, don't ask any questions and everything shall run smoothly and without the removal of a thing attached to another thing, like your head from your neck.”

“Alright?” Usagi says. Mikey bumps his hip against Donnie's and scowls. Donnie rolls his eyes.

They reach the living room, Dad's chair thankfully unoccupied, and Raph drops Usagi into it. Mikey sets the duffle bag down and quickly zips to his room to grab the sweater, glasses and pants, shrugging into them. When he returns, Donnie has just finished duct-taping Usagi's arms to the chair—

“Donald!”

“What?” Donnie has the gall to look offended. “This was your idea!”

“Not to tie him up!”

“Who's to say he won't run, hm? He's a rabbit and they're fast as frick, we'd never catch him before Leo gets back, and then our whole plan is ruined. Also, no teenager is comfortable talking about 'feelings', so I'm just taking extra precautions—”

“I can still hear you, you know,” Usagi says, the pillowcase still over his head. He doesn't seem bothered about this whole situation, which both amuses and concerns Mikey a little.

“You shush, or I'll bring out the chainsaw,” Donnie says.

Mikey looks at Raph. “You didn't think to stop him?”

Raph folds his arms and shrugs. “I'm just the muscle here, big man. This is your show.”

Dr Feelings appreciates the level of trust and respect Raph has for Mikey that's been a slow-growing thing these last few years. Dr Delicate Touch wants to strangle his oldest brother for being a wise ass.

He rolls his eyes instead and gets in position while Donnie sets up the projector. He nods to Raph, and the snapper pulls off the pillowcase.

Usagi blinks, adjusting to the brightness and looking around. “You blindfolded me to take me to the living room? Where I've been multiple times?”

“Shush,” Donnie hisses, “second warning. We'll be doing the talking here, bunny boy.”

“Don, chill,” Raph says, looking seconds from bursting out laughing. “We're just here to have a nice, friendly chat.”

Usagi arches a brow, pointedly dipping his chin down at his taped arms.

Raph's smile twitches, a drop of sweat trickling down his brow. “... I'm just the muscle?”

Mikey clears his throat loudly, snapping their attention back to him. He smiles and rolls his shoulders back, relaxing into the role that's become a blessing these last few months than the curse it was two years ago (at least to his brothers).

“Good evening! I'm Dr Feelings, and welcome to my newest seminar—!”

He clicks the button for the next slide on the PowerPoint, a photo of the three turtles glaring down at the camera from a high angle, a shovel in Mikey's hands. Underneath, the title reads in comically bright, bubblegum pink letters--

“—Shovel Talks!”

Usagi stares at the slide and then at each of the present turtles. Mikey keeps his smile bright while his brothers (mostly Donnie) no longer hide the touch of sadistic glee in theirs.

“... ah,” he says carefully. “I see the position I'm in now.”

“See, I don't think you do,” Donnie drawls on Usagi's right, Raph looming over on the left. “So we are going to educate you, and do not interrupt or talk until you are spoken to as we have much to go through and very little time before our dearly devoted dum-dum returns from April and Splinter's distraction outing. Dr Feelings,” Donnie turns to Mikey and gestures grandly, “Proceed with your first slide.”

“Thank you! Let's start off by asking our patient some simple questions. Question one!” Mikey flips to the next slide titled 'Spill The Tea' with a doodle of a teacup underneath it. Under that is a photo of Leo flashing a peace sign at the camera with a goofy grin. “What are your intentions towards one Hamato Leonardo?”

Usagi blinks. “... I would think my intentions were obvious? We're dating, are we not?”

“Sigh, yes, we can see as much given how you two are all but attached at the hip whenever you're so much as in the same vicinity,” Donnie mutters before getting right up in Usagi's face with a glare, fisting the front of his blue hoodie and shaking him once. “What we don't know is why you are dating Leonardo! Were you dared to by compatriots or colleagues of similar age or older for a cruel joke? Or are you a spy sent from a yet unknown enemy seeking to destroy us from the inside, integrating yourself into our inner circle by seducing our resident feeble-minded little gay only to turn on us at the last second, surrendering us to your evil leader and shattering the heart of the boy who fell in love with a person that never truly existed?! Speak, heathen!!”

Usagi stares at Donnie with wide, mildly disturbed eyes. Donnie glares at Usagi, right eye twitching.

“Jeezy heckin' creezy, Don,” Raph squeaks after a beat. “How long've you been holding that in?”

Donnie whirls on Raph with a half-crazed grin without releasing Usagi's hoodie. “The whole dub, baby!” he says.

Raph facepalms.

Mikey gathers himself quickly and clears his throat again. “Donald, if you would please let go of our patient—”

“Prisoner, guilty until proven innocent—”

“—patient, so we can hear his clear and honest answer? Don't you test the waters of my patience, boy, I will bring out Dr Delicate Touch on your ass.”

“Language,” Raph sighs, working Donnie's grip from Usagi's hoodie and bodily lifting him up and away from the rabbit. Donnie goes without a fight, but not without a spitting glare aimed at Usagi. Ignoring him, Raph offers Usagi a smile, cementing his role as the Good Cop. “Sorry about him. Just answer the question so we can get this over with.”

“And we'll know if you're lying!” Donnie adds. “I have lie detectors under the seat that'll fry your cotton ass six ways to Sunday—!”

“There are no lie detectors.”

“Raaaaph, you're ruining it, I'm trying to instil fear—!”

“Yer doin' enough of that to me right now! We were worried about Dad goin' all 'Daddy with a shotgun' on him when we really should've been watchin' the 'Overprotective Twin with his Middle Child Nonsense'—!”

“May I speak, now?”

Usagi's tone cuts through the idiocy as neat as the katana he wields, and the boys fall silent. Raph sets Donnie down, and Donnie steps back, his glare fading to make way for open confusion and surprise.

Mikey, who'd been on the cusp of dropping the act and wringing his brothers' necks, takes in Usagi's expression—purposefully neutral, the way he shuts his eyes as he takes a breath, his fingers drumming the armrests he's tied to while the heel of one foot bounces on the floor—and wonders if they've crossed a line here.

Then Usagi sighs, slow and measured, and opens his eyes. “I understand why you're concerned,” he says. “Leonardo has been through... a lot, to put it mildly. You all have, which is why you're so protective of one another. I admire and respect that; you hold true to the ancient belief that founded your clan centuries ago. Anata wa hitori janai, I believe. Leonardo told me about it. About the Shredder, the invasion... and the prison dimension.”

A shudder runs through the brothers. Mikey sees Donnie's jaw lock, Raph's fingers curling into fists. Mikey pulls at his fingers and bites his lip. “... he told you?” he asks in a smaller voice than he intends.

Usagi's gaze softens minutely, and he nods. “Not everything, but yes. I never prompted, but... he saw me fit enough to know.” His brows furrow, his frown deep and angry as he glares at his lap. “It sickens me to hear what that creature put you through—what he did to Leonardo. And it frightens me to think of how you'd come so close to losing him... how I'd come so close to never meeting him at all.”

Oh, Mikey thinks, almost floored. Oh wow.

Usagi takes another breath and raises his head, meeting each of their gazes. “... So yes, I understand your fears regarding our relationship and your hesitance to trust me. Leonardo's well-being will always be your top priority. He's precious to you.” Then Usagi smiles. It's small but bright, warm and quietly delighted, proud and certain. “He's precious to me, too.”

This time Mikey is floored. Oh. Wow.

“To answer your question, Dr Feelings,” Usagi continues, heedless of the turtle's altering perception of reality, “my intentions towards Hamato Leonardo are simple: I want to protect him. I know he's more than capable, and knowing him, he'll never ask me for help outright. But when he does, I want to be there—no, I will be there, because I care about him. Very much. We haven't known each other long, but my life is brighter and better with him in it, and I'll do whatever I must to keep it that way.

“I want to make him as happy as he's made me because he deserves that much. He deserves every good thing in this world.” He shrugs, flashing a bashful, buck-toothed smile. “For now, I hope he can settle for just me.”

Mikey stares. Donnie stares. Raph stares.

Oh. Wow. 

Either he's the greatest liar ever, or they've had him pegged so wrong. But then, not even Big Mama, the Queen Bee Bitch of lies, could fake that kind of devotion.

No, Usagi really is just a good guy. A great guy.

“Dammit!” Donnie cries, throwing his hands up. “I can't even fully hate you ironically anymore, what the hell!” He hangs his head with a sigh. “I suppose I shall have to settle for 'jealous older twin suffering from attention withdrawal from the younger twin' until further notice. Also, you get to live another day. Congrats.”

Usagi smirks. “Thank you, I think?”

Raph rolls his eyes, but he's grinning from ear to ear, slicing away the tape binding Usagi to the chair and helping him to his feet without prompting. He drops a heavy hand on Usagi's shoulder, his grin widening when the rabbit doesn't buckle under his strength. “What I think Donnie means to say is... well. We're glad you have Leo's back. And we're sorry for thinkin' the worst of you when we're all still gettin' to know each other. I mean, we've seen how happy you two are together, and we just—well, we wanted to—”

Usagi huffs a laugh, patting Raph's massive bicep. “As I said, I understand. My sensei often warns me against jumping to conclusions, but it's different for family. Especially younger siblings. I should know, I have a little sister.”

“Right?! You get it! My little brothers are literal demons even the devil's too scared to look at, but you get it—!”

Mikey shoves his way between them and barrels into Usagi for a hug, squeezing him tight. The rabbit squeaks in surprise and possibly pain, but his arms carefully come around Mikey's shell a heartbeat later, a chuckle running through him. “I suppose this means I have the youngest's seal of approval?”

Mikey nods against his chest, raising his head to beam up at the rabbit. “You do. Welcome to the family!”

“Thank you. I'm honoured to—”

“But we didn't finish the slide show, so I'll run a tee-ell-dee-arr for you. Hurt Leo and you die.”

“... ah.”

“They'll never find your body,” Donnie adds, “because I will reduce it to atoms. I have a ray in the works, I can show you the blueprints.”

“And if that fails, Raph will break every bone in your body and dump you in the Hudson!” Raph says brightly. “Ever swim there? Pretty deep. You find all kinds'a weird stuff. A rabbit yokai won't stand out much.”

“... I understand. I'll definitely deserve one of those fates.”

“Oh, you will,” Mikey chimes. “Thank you for understanding, and thanks for coming to our TED talk!”

“Pretty sure I did most of the talking.”

“I will yeet your ass across this house—”

“Are you chuckleheads done harassing my boyfriend, or can I have him back now?” drawls a familiar voice that has them leaping a foot out of their shells. They turn to find Leo leaning against the back of the couch with one arm, the other hand propped on his popped hip. He arches a brow at their stares.

Mikey jumps back from Usagi to wildly point at his immediate older brother. “How long have you been standing there?!”

“About a minute,” Leo says. “I've been behind the couch the whole time, though.”

“What?! When'd you get back from hanging with Dad and April?!” Raph cries.

“Never left,” Leo pushes off the couch and swings his arm around Usagi's shoulders upon approach like its second nature. Usagi leans into him likewise, one arm curling around his waist. “I kinda figured this whole 'shovel talk' thing was gonna happen sooner or later, so the minute April and Splinter tried to drag me out for a 'father-son-daughter thing' the same day Usagi said he'd come over, I knew you assholes were scheming and told 'em I wasn't leaving.” His eyes narrow a little, and Mikey almost shrinks back. “Didn't think you'd tie him up, though, or that Raph would just let it happen.”

“I'm just the muscle!”

“And I am hurt and offended that you all thought so little of my absolutely innocent Bunny Boo! You look at this face—” He unwraps his arm to squish Usagi's cheeks between both hands—“and tell me there's a single bad thought behind those beautiful pink eyes!”

“Weonawdo,” Usagi mutters, fur tinted pink with embarrassment.

Quick as a whip, Donnie says, “There's not a thought whatsoever if he's dating you.”

“You're a thot.”

“Different words and spelling. And it takes one to know one.”

“Die.”

“You first.”

“Both of you knock it off,” Raph sighs, pinching his brow the way he's done since he first knew the pains of being the eldest. It's a miracle there's not a permanent mark between his eyes. He turns to the rabbit. “Sorry, could we borrow Leo for a sec? Then I swear you two can finally go hang out and... do whatever two teenage boys do when they're head over heels for each other but still in their parent's house so they gotta keep it PG, 'kay?” 

“Um, wow?” Leo scowls, dropping Usagi's face to plant his hands on his hips. “Who do you take me for, a horny teen with no self-control around my significant other?”

“That is exactly what we take you for,” Donnie says.

“I don't!” Mikey says, raising his hand. “You're just a dumb gay hoppin' mad for your bunny boo!”

Leo's eye twitches. “Gee. Thanks.”

Usagi snickers, taking Leo's hands, and Leo instantly melts like putty. “It's fine, Leonardo. I'll wait in your room and get the snacks sorted,” he says, then he leans in to kiss the corner of Leo's mouth. Right in front of everyone. 

It's not something he's done before—being openly affectionate with Leo when his siblings or fathers were around—but then Mikey isn't surprised.

Maybe this whole 'hesitance' and 'mistrust' thing hasn't been as one-sided as he'd thought.

Mikey never knew a slider could turn pink, but Leo manages it, steam funnelling out of his ears as the rabbit walks away, grabbing his duffle bag as he goes. There's a pep in his step, and Mikey wonders if the kiss or their acceptance put it there.

Once he's gone, Donnie breaks the silence, staring in the direction Usagi had left in—“Should I get the tranquillizer?”

“You've done enough today.” Raph puts a massive hand over Donnie's face and shoves him onto the couch, ignoring his indignant squawking as he faces Leo. The slider collects himself quickly and crosses his arms, flashing that devil-may-care grin that irritates and amuses Mikey.

“So? You gonna tie me to the chair and subject me to the horrors of dating life via Dr Feelings?” Leo drawls, “Or are you finally gonna admit that you were wrong about my totally amazing and hot boyfriend?” 

Raph sighs. “Yes, we may have taken it too far—and in Donnie's case, we were overly paranoid, even by my standards, but we learned our lesson about jumping the gun. Again. And you were right.” He smiles, broad and warm. “Your boy is cool with me, little brother. You got yourself a keeper.”

Leo blinks, his smirk falling. “... wait, wait—for real?”

“Did you not hear his heartfelt speech not even two pages ago? It was rather dramatic and moving,” Donnie says absently from the couch, eyes now on his phone to avoid looking anyone in the eye, but Mikey knows what's up. They all do, but they're nice enough not to say anything. “And if I'm being honest—which isn't saying much because I can't lie for shit and you can clock one with an accuracy that borders on mystical—I don't actually think your new beau is inherently evil. I cannot say that I like him... but I approve. For now. My earlier threats still stand, though, so please try to keep him in line, or I will turn him into a hat.”

Leo falters again in the face of sincerity, however masked, from his twin. “...oh. Um. Wow. That's—uh, cool. That's cool, Dee, I, um... thanks...”

And finally, Mikey steps forward, shrugging off the sweater, glasses and pants. “What? You really think it's that odd that we're lookin' out for you? It's like Usagi said, you're precious to us, bro! And he was damn right sayin' you deserve every good thing. You deserve to be happy with someone who cares about you as much as we do.” 

He darts forward again even before Leo's eyes take on a misty sheen, bundling his brother in his arms as much as he can and squeezing. “And if Usagi makes you happy, we're happy too.”

“... you guys,” Leo whines, his voice thick as he holds Mikey impossibly close. Donnie tosses his phone aside to hop up and join the hug, cheek resting on Leo's shoulder. Raph lumbers over and plucks them off the floor, nuzzling the top of Leo's head with a low grumble from deep in his chest.

Later, with mostly dry eyes and a megawatt smile, Leo jogs off to find Usagi. Mikey stands with his eldest brothers and folds his arms. “Our work here is done, gentlemen.”

“But we didn't really do anything,” Donnie says.

Mikey swishes his cape and departs.

“Where the hell did you get that cape?!”

~0o0~

The following week, Mikey corners Usagi at the front door and tackles him with a hug. Usagi laughs and returns it freely.

In the living room, Donnie's eyes are glued to his laptop, fingers typing away. He lifts one fist, Usagi wordlessly bumping it as he sits on the couch with Raph. Setting his comic book aside, Raph reaches out to ruffle his white bangs and chuckles when Usagi's paw bats him away.

Leo enters from the kitchen and immediately brightens when he spots Usagi, leaping over the top of the couch to bounce in the open space beside the bunny. “Hey!"

“Hey, yourself,” Usagi snickers. "You couldn't possibly have missed me that much to come running as soon as I walk in."

Leo swings an arm over the top of the couch, the other pressing a hand to his forehead in a dramatic swoon. "Parting is such sweet sorrow," he bemoans, batting his eyelids at Usagi, "that I shall say good night till it be morrow!"

Mikey laughs so hard he gives himself hiccups. Raph chokes on his soda. Donnie whirls on Leo, looking downright mutinous. "You did not just quote Shakespear so you could flirt with your boyfriend!"

Leo gestures to a madly grinning Usagi trying to hide behind his hands. "It worked, though! You guys hate it when I use the cheap pickup lines off Google, so I consulted the world's finest wordsmith instead."

"You are abusing and defiling William's good name! Thou crusty batch of nature!"

Leo rolls his eyes. "Whatever. You're just jelly 'cause I've officially got more game than you."

"Or Usagi has terrible taste in men."

Leo opens his mouth to say something he'll probably regret, but Usagi swiftly intercepts with a kiss on the cheek that stops him cold. "I thought it was creative," he says, "Much better than your awful pickup lines."

At that, Leo forgets Donnie completely, leaning in with a dumb grin to peck Usagi on the lips. Raph shakes his head with a secret smile, and Mikey giggles as he lays across Raph's thighs, Switch in hand.

Donnie gags. “Get a room.”

“But keep the door open!” Splinter calls from—somewhere. 

Usagi tugs an ear over his face, flushed and embarrassed. Leo throws his head back and laughs.

Mikey grins, basking in the glow as he plugs into his game. He can get used to this.

---

Reblogs are appreciated :3

Feel free to send more requests <3

[a-cheetosandroid]

k so first i think i should mention that when my class was acting out macbeth, my friend got banquo. we asked them to do an accent, and guess what.

they did one.

t h e y d i d o n e alright.

my friend pulled out the most yeehaw, cowboy, texas, barbaque, take my horse down the old town road, wild west not in the west, married to a literal GUN, drinkin beer and ridin tractors, accent for the father of SCOTTISH KINGS.

the way we laughed the first time that accent came around is just... crazy. but it was deserved, because the accent stayed that way the whole month we read the play.

[pix4japan]

Vintage John Deere Model 40T Tractor

One of my favorite parts of the Makaino Ranch (Shizuoka Prefecture, Japan) is the display of old tractors.

In this shot, we have a 1954 John Deere Model 40T. This model of tractor was available with a standard wide front end or narrow front end (with one wheel or standard two wheels). The headlights were optional on this model.

After the war, Japan imported tractors for use in the cultivation of crops including wheat, barley, corn, and alfalfa. Nowadays, farmers prefer to use Japanese tractors which are more compact, smaller, and more suited to the smaller fields found throughout Japan, with the exception of Hokkaido.

Pentax K-1 II + D FA 28-105mm F3.5-5.6 Shot 1. 63 mm ISO 100 for 1/200 sec. at ƒ/11 Shot 2. 45 mm ISO 100 for 1/250 sec. at ƒ/4.5

[kuniushi]

Love Tractor

Title: Love Tractor (트랙터는 사랑을 싣고)

Chapters: 80 (complete)

Genre: yaoi

Plot: A Characters: A+ Art Style: A+

Final Grade: A+

** Warning, spoilers ahead. **

Brief Summary:

Sun Yool, a city boy retreats to the countryside to find himself take care of his grandfather's residence while he's in hospital. There, he meets 20-year-old Yechan who absolutely loves farming. And in this small farming area, love blooms between these two. Aww ♥.

Review:

Let's make this very clear from the start that this little story makes your Kit Kat™ chocolate bars taste blander than desert sand. You can get diabetes once you finish this webtoon and you'll have no regrets. There is no headache-inducing rage over love-triangles or very long and messy ex-boyfriend arcs at every corner and I appreciate it. It focuses on Sun Yool sorting out and recovering from his previous relationship which was, let's face facts here, toxic AF. That's cleared out pretty early on in the story and then focuses on the affection that big bear Yechan has for him and the slow reciprocation of it. Yechan ... he's about as subtle as a bull bear in a china shop and we all love him dearly for it. His whole family is, after all, the bear family:

There’s a lot of beautiful and cute panels in each chapter to scratch all itches. I myself fell in love with Sun Yool. I swear they must have based him on a K-Pop male idol as he exudes cool. I’d pay Sun Yool for lessons on that if he was real ... alas, he’s not. My loss.

Yechan on the other hand, as I said, not quite there on subtlety. Reminds me of myself, actually. He is such a sweet character and the difference between the two main characters can be summarized as:

In terms of hot, steamy, smexy scenes ... this won’t be the one. It’s not a Swolemates “Bam! Here’s the a$$ and bam!!! Here’s the d!ck!”. However, smex is implied and you do see the lead-up riiiight to it and the room ... so don’t be reading this in broad daylight where people can peer right over your shoulders. And I think given how sweet this story is, I like that the smut was cut right back. The author / artist understood that I didn’t need smut for this one to enjoy it.

[miwisconsin]

Tragedia en una granja lechera

por Melissa Sanchez y Maryam Jameel ProPublica is a Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative newsroom. Sign up for The Big Story newsletter to receive stories like this one in your inbox. La llamada entró al 911 poco después de las once de la noche. Un hombre dijo que un niño pequeño en su rancho tenía lesiones graves en la cabeza. Creía que el niño había sido pisoteado por una vaca. Ann Ingolia, una agente de la oficina del sheriff del Condado de Dane, estaba de turno cuando escuchó la radiollamada aquella noche cálida de verano del 2019. Encendió su sirena y se puso en camino a través de rutas serpenteantes y colinas onduladas, pasando las granjas y campos que forman el paisaje de esta parte del centro sur de Wisconsin. Las luces de una ambulancia y otros vehículos de emergencia centelleaban en la propiedad. Cuando llegó, Ingolia pudo ver a unos paramédicos atendiendo a un niño en el suelo, cerca de la sala de ordeño. Tenía la cabeza partida. La propiedad de D&K Dairy. (Melissa Sanchez/ProPublica) Ingolia se acercó a los dueños del rancho, Daniel y Kay Breunig, que le señalaron a un hombre delgado que vestía unos pantalones tejanos cubiertos de estiércol y sangre, y que caminaba en círculos cerca de un molino. Era el padre del niño. Daniel Breunig dijo que los trabajadores le habían dicho que el niño se había lastimado, pero no sabía más porque no hablaba español y los tres obreros de guardia aquella noche, incluido el padre del niño, no hablaban inglés. Ingolia no hablaba un español fluido, pero consideraba que tenía el dominio suficiente para hacer su trabajo. Se acercó al padre del niño, José María Rodríguez Uriarte, e intentó hablar con él. Rodríguez estaba gritando por su hijo Jefferson, de 8 años. Se sentó en el pasto y comenzó a balancearse adelante y atrás. “Literalmente intentaba cavar un hoyo en el suelo y enterrarse”, dijo Ingolia más tarde. En un momento, dijo, el semblante de Rodríguez “pasó de frenético a catatónico y otra vez a histérico y de vuelta a catatónico, al punto que yo temía que, si pasara un camión de leche, se tiraría en frente de él”. En su informe, apuntó que le fue difícil extraer información. Rodríguez le dijo que “no había visto exactamente lo que había pasado” y la llevó a un área cerca de los corrales, donde le señaló un “skid steer” o minicargador, una máquina agrícola parecida a un tractor pequeño de 6,700 libras que se usa en la granja para recoger el estiércol. Ingolia intentó preguntar cómo se había lesionado el niño y, finalmente, esto es lo que llegó a entender: Rodríguez estaba conduciendo la máquina cargadora, no vio al niño detrás de él y lo atropelló cuando puso la máquina en marcha atrás. La entrevista de Ingolia con Rodríguez, por vacilante e incoherente que fuera, se convirtió en la base de la versión oficial de lo sucedido la noche del 26 de julio de 2019: Rodríguez había matado accidentalmente a su hijo. Ann Ingolia (Oficina del Sheriff del Condado de Dane) Esta versión sería repetida por otras agencias, diseminada por medios locales y recordada por granjeros y residentes de la zona que hablan solo inglés. Es una versión que atormenta a Rodríguez porque, dijo, no es verdad. Él y los otros obreros que estaban en el rancho aquella noche, además de los amigos que llegaron en las horas posteriores a la muerte del niño para consolar a un padre inconsolable, conocen otra versión de lo ocurrido. Hasta hoy, es la única que muchos en esta comunidad de nicaragüenses y otros trabajadores inmigrantes de las granjas lecheras han escuchado. Lo que les pasó a Jefferson y su padre es una acumulación de fallos: un sistema de inmigración que dificulta que la gente migre a Estados Unidos aunque industrias enteras dependen de su trabajo, granjas pequeñas que los inspectores de seguridad laboral en gran medida no supervisan, y un sistema policial que está mal equipado para servir a la gente que no habla inglés. La noche en que murió Jefferson, dos personas además de Rodríguez estaban trabajando en el rancho. Una trabajadora le dijo a Ingolia que no había visto lo que pasó. Era el primer día del otro obrero. Los videos de las cámaras de los coches patrulla lo muestran de pie a un lado, mientras Daniel Breunig, un agente del sheriff y paramédicos se turnaban para bombear el pecho del niño sin vida. El obrero permaneció allí después de que cubrieron el cadáver con una sábana blanca. En algún momento de la noche, otro agente lo identificó como un jornalero “que no hablaba muy bien inglés". El agente le dio un cuaderno de notas y el hombre escribió su nombre. Nadie lo entrevistó, aunque su versión podría haber cambiado el curso de todo lo que iba a venir. D&K Dairy se asienta sobre unas 120 hectáreas rurales en el pueblo de Dane, a una media hora de Madison, la capital del estado. Sus dueños, Daniel y Kay Breunig, se criaron en granjas y en 1991, un par de años después de casarse, compraron la suya propia. Vivían en la propiedad con sus dos hijos adultos en una gran casa de campo blanca con una bandera estadounidense en el frente. Como muchas familias granjeras, trabajaban allí también, aunque dejaban las tareas como ordeñar las vacas y limpiar los establos a sus empleados. En todo momento, la granja tenía unos seis obreros inmigrantes que alternaban turnos para cumplir las necesidades de una operación que ordeñaba a cientos de vacas tres veces al día. Aquellos que hablaban un poco de inglés también se encargaban de parte de la administración diaria de la granja, como la contratación y los horarios. “Dejaba todo esto en manos del encargado, porque estaba entrenado para supervisar al resto de los El minicargador que Blandón manejaba la noche que Jefferson murió. (Oficina del Sheriff del Condado de Dane) empleados, solo por la barrera del idioma”, dijo Daniel Breunig en una declaración jurada vinculada a una demanda civil en curso por la muerte de Jefferson. Los obreros apreciaban la actitud discreta de los Breunig, que contrastaba con la de granjeros más entrometidos para quienes habían trabajado previamente. Pero se quejaban del estiércol de vaca y heces de gato en lugares que se deberían mantener limpios. Por la propiedad merodeaban tantos gatos que era conocida como “el rancho de los gatos". En esta zona los residentes hispanoparlantes comúnmente se refieren a las granjas lecheras como “ranchos”. Funcionarios estatales que inspeccionaron la sala de ordeño en los meses antes de la muerte de Jefferson notaron estiércol en las paredes, y vacas con los flancos y las ubres sucias, indicios de que había peligro de contaminación de la leche. Las violaciones de las normas de sanidad por parte de D&K la ubicaban en el 20% más bajo de las granjas de productos lecheros en el estado, según el Departamento de Agricultura, Comercio y Protección del Consumidor de Wisconsin. D&K Dairy también tenía fama de reemplazar con frecuencia a sus empleados, lo que significaba que a menudo contrataba mano de obra. Por décadas, las granjas pequeñas de Wisconsin han tenido que luchar para competir con operaciones más grandes y eficientes y mantenerse a flote en medio de oscilaciones en el precio de la leche. Cuando los Breunig compraron su granja había más de 32,000 productores de leche en el estado. Cuando Jefferson y su padre llegaron en 2019 quedaban aproximadamente 7,900. Hoy subsisten unas 6,100 granjas. Para sobrevivir, muchas granjas añadieron más vacas, más automatización y más obreros, pero el trabajo es peligroso y sucio y está mal pagado. Pocos estadounidenses están dispuestos a hacerlo. Así que los operadores de granjas a lo largo y ancho del país han recurrido a inmigrantes para limpiar el estiércol de sus establos, arrear a los animales de los corrales a las salas de ordeño y conectar las ubres de las vacas a las máquinas que bombean la leche que llenará los contenedores en los refrigeradores de los supermercados. Es un secreto a voces en la industria lechera que muchos trabajadores no tienen autorización para trabajar en los Estados Unidos. Consiguen trabajos utilizando papeles falsos que los empleadores, a sabiendas o no, aceptan. “Cuanto menos sepa, mejor”, dijo un granjero en el Condado de Dane a ProPublica. A lo largo de los años, la mano de obra en las lecherías de Wisconsin ha cambiado; donde antes hubo sobre todo inmigrantes de México, ahora también hay solicitantes de asilo e inmigrantes de Centroamérica. En el Condado de Dane, muchos son nicaragüenses. Hasta recientemente, los nicaragüenses habían emigrado a los Estados Unidos en números mucho más bajos que sus vecinos. Pero en 2019, mientras su gobierno caía en el autoritarismo y la economía se tambaleaba, miles huyeron. Más nicaragüenses fueron interceptados en la frontera ese año fiscal que en cualquier momento de la década anterior. Para algunos, la granja de los Breunig era una primera parada. Rodríguez creció en la pobreza, uno de 16 hijos de una pareja de campesinos que se mudaba de una comunidad rural a otra para trabajar la tierra de otros. Con el tiempo, sus padres compraron unas pocas hectáreas donde plantaron frijoles, maíz y arroz, y criaron algunas vacas. Él dejó de ir a la escuela después del primer grado. Rodríguez quería algo mejor para sus hijos Jefferson, el mayor, y Yefari, que tenía cuatro años menos. Durante años, iba y venía de Nicaragua a Costa Rica para trabajar, un patrón de migración común entre los nicaragüenses. Mientras, sus hijos crecieron con su madre, María Sayra Vargas, en Murra, una comunidad remota en una zona cafetera del estado Nueva Segovia de Nicaragua. Pero según Rodríguez se fue haciendo más difícil conseguir un empleo en Costa Rica. Hacia finales del 2018, empezó a contactar a amigos que habían migrado al norte para preguntar acerca de sus experiencias trabajando en Wisconsin. Había escuchado de otros nicaragüenses que los adultos que viajaban con niños tenían mejores posibilidades de entrar en los Estados Unidos después de hacer una solicitud de asilo en la frontera, pero ni él ni su pareja estaban convencidos de que debiera llevarse a Jefferson con él. Vargas temía que algo le pudiera pasar a su hijo durante el largo y peligroso trayecto a través de Centroamérica y México. A Rodríguez le preocupaba cómo cuidaría a su hijo mientras estuviera trabajando. Una amiga calmó sus inquietudes explicándole que, mientras ella trabajaba, sus hijos iban a la escuela. Jefferson ansiaba ir a los Estados Unidos. Un niño flaco de pelo oscuro, le gustaba jugar con carritos de juguete con su hermano y agotaba a su madre haciendo carreras por el pasillo de su pequeño hogar. Era un alumno de segundo grado con un sentido profundo y personal de la fe y una cercanía a Dios que sorprendía hasta a sus padres. “Hablaba de la creación, del pecado, eran cosas que yo nunca se las enseñaba”, dijo Vargas. “Me preguntaba tantas cosas que yo misma no me las sabía o tenía palabras para responderle”. Jefferson dijo a su padre que quería aprender inglés para así, un día, poder compartir la palabra de Dios con los niños que conociera en los Estados Unidos. A finales de febrero de 2019 partieron de Murra. Rodríguez tenía 29 años; su hijo, 8. Hubo etapas durante el viaje en que no tuvieron comida o agua. “Se le parte el alma a uno traer a un menor y saber que está enfrentando esas cosas”, dijo Rodríguez. “Jefferson era más valiente que yo. Siempre me decía: ‘Vamos a llegar. Vamos a llegar”. Poco más de dos semanas después de dejar Nicaragua, según Rodríguez, entraron en los Estados Unidos una noche cruzando el Río Grande en Texas, a pocas millas de un puerto de entrada. Caminaron como dos horas antes de llegar a una carretera, donde un agente de la Patrulla Fronteriza finalmente los detuvo. Pasaron varios días detenidos, dijo, pero pudieron presentar una solicitud de asilo y ser liberados con una fecha para ir a la corte, un camino migratorio frecuente en esa época. Pronto se fueron rumbo a Wisconsin. Mientras su caso de inmigración seguía su curso en los tribunales, Rodríguez no podía conseguir un permiso de trabajo. Obtuvo el empleo en D&K Dairy como lo hacen tantos obreros en la industria lechera: usando papeles que había comprado y que mostraban el nombre y número de seguridad social de otra persona. Ganaba $9.50 por hora y le pagaban mediante cheque con los impuestos retenidos. Algunos días trabajaba seis horas; otros, 12. El trabajo agrícola está excluido de muchas de las protecciones laborales de Estados Unidos, así que no recibía pagos extra cuando superaba las 40 horas de trabajo a la semana. En una quincena típica, Rodríguez y sus compañeros registraban 150 horas de trabajo, según entrevistas y archivos. El trabajo incluía vivienda gratis, un beneficio importante para inmigrantes nuevos, desesperados por pagar sus deudas con los coyotes. Rodríguez debía más de $10,000 al hombre que le prestó el dinero para llegar a Estados Unidos. Para los inmigrantes indocumentados, que tienen prohibido obtener licencias de conducir en Wisconsin, hay otra ventaja en vivir donde trabajan: pueden evitar ponerse detrás del volante y encontrarse con policías de tránsito. Rodríguez y Jefferson se establecieron en una de las dos habitaciones del apartamento encima del establo donde las vacas eran ordeñadas día y noche. Los suelos vibraban a causa del motor que propulsaba la ruidosa maquinaria y el olor a estiércol penetraba el lugar, que compartían con otros dos obreros. Rodríguez y su hijo compartían la litera de arriba. “Las condiciones no eran para niños”, dijo un trabajador que dormía en la litera de abajo y se encariñó con su joven compañero de cuarto. No hay datos de cuántos niños viven en las granjas lecheras donde trabajan sus padres. Pero hay muchas anécdotas: una trabajadora en una pequeña granja como a una hora del rancho de los Breunig puso una cuna en un establo sin calefacción para poder vigilar a su bebé mientras ordeñaba, porque no le alcanzaba el dinero para pagar una guardería infantil. Una intérprete de la zona conoce a varios padres que dejan a sus niños solos en las viviendas de los ranchos mientras trabajan turnos de noche. Y con cierta frecuencia, según los archivos, agentes policiales se encuentran con los hijos de los trabajadores cuando responden a incidentes en granjas lecheras en distintas partes del estado. En una declaración judicial, Daniel Breunig negó que Rodríguez y su hijo vivieran encima de la sala de ordeño, diciendo que los obreros solo se quedaban allí entre turnos o cuando el tiempo era malo. “No diría que vivían”, dijo. “Yo diría que, quiero decir, la propiedad de la cual están hablando fue construida como una sala de pausa y zona de descanso”. Los Breunigs tenían una vivienda de dos habitaciones para sus trabajadores en otra casa a poca distancia camino abajo, pero no había lugar para todos, así que los supervisores asignaban a algunos obreros los cuartos encima de la sala de ordeño, según dijeron varios trabajadores de la granja. Más de media docena de antiguos obreros y visitantes del rancho confirmaron que Rodríguez, su hijo y otros obreros vivían allí. En la noche del accidente, Breunig dijo a los agentes que no sabía ni el nombre ni la edad del niño fallecido. Dijo que le había dicho a Rodríguez que su hijo solo podía estar afuera durante el día, bajo supervisión de un adulto. Jefferson nunca asistió a la escuela en Wisconsin, aunque quedaban como cinco semanas para completar el calendario del distrito escolar local cuando él y su padre llegaron. Rodríguez dijo que no pudo conseguir un día libre o a alguien que hablara inglés para ayudarle a inscribir a su hijo, pero planeaba hacerlo en otoño. Preguntó por guarderías, dijo, pero no podía pagarlas. Rodríguez sabe que alguna gente piensa que fue un padre negligente. Dijo que tenía dos responsabilidades encontradas: trabajar y cuidar a su hijo. No siempre podía hacer las dos cosas a la vez. Jefferson pasó mucho tiempo solo en los cuartos encima de la sala. No había televisión, solo unos pocos juguetes: un pequeño autobús, una vaca, una pistola de agua que usaba para disparar a los gatos. Su padre le dio un viejo teléfono celular que no tenía servicio, pero otros trabajadores le compartían conexión desde sus teléfonos. Jefferson lo usaba para llamar a su madre y hermano por WhatsApp, aunque el servicio de telefonía celular en Murra es limitado. Hizo videos de sí mismo en el segundo piso del establo, cantando himnos que había inventado sobre la creación, el pecado y Jesucristo. Cuando se aburría, Jefferson se ponía unas enormes botas negras de goma y merodeaba por la zona de abajo para jugar con los gatos y hablar con los adultos mientras trabajaban. Más de 100 niños mueren cada año en todo tipo de granjas, según estimaciones nacionales. Se caen de los tractores que montan con sus padres, son aplastados por las enormes palas de los minicargadores, se sofocan en los silos de granos. Miles más se lesionan. No existe ningún sistema de seguimiento nacional que monitoree todas esas lesiones y muertes, pero investigadores del Centro Nacional de Niños para Salud y Seguridad Rural y Agrícola, una entidad financiada con fondos federales, mantienen una base de datos de estos incidentes con información principalmente de informes de prensa y obituarios. La semana de la muerte de Jefferson, al menos tres niños más murieron en granjas en los Estados Unidos, incluida una niña de 14 meses que fue atropellada por un carro de caballos a aproximadamente una hora al norte de la granja de los Breunig. La gente que estudia la seguridad en las granjas desaconseja la palabra “accidente” porque “implica que es un acto de Dios. Que fue una cosa aleatoria y anormal”, dijo Barbara Lee, una investigadora del Centro Nacional de Niños. “Si le preguntas a cualquiera que entienda de esto, tienes a un niño de 8 años en un lugar de trabajo peligroso: es cuestión de tiempo que algo terrible suceda”. La Administración de Seguridad y Salud Ocupacional (OSHA por sus siglas en inglés) es una agencia federal que investiga la seguridad en el lugar de trabajo. OSHA tiene pocas normas para sitios de trabajo agrícolas y las granjas pequeñas consiguen exenciones importantes. Sin embargo, todos los empleadores están obligados a mantener los lugares de trabajo libres de peligros que puedan causar lesiones o muerte. La noche que murió Jefferson, una investigadora de la oficina del médico forense llamó a OSHA porque el niño “estaba en el trabajo con su padre cuando el accidente ocurrió”, según su informe. Pero como Jefferson no era un obrero se le dijo a la investigadora que OSHA probablemente no haría nada. Y no lo hizo. En una declaración preparada, una portavoz de la agencia dijo que la jurisdicción de OSHA se limita a los incidentes que afectan a los trabajadores. “Una fatalidad que involucra a un no-empleado, sea cual sea la edad, generalmente no deriva en una investigación de OSHA, a menos que esos lugares de trabajo también tengan empleados en condiciones peligrosas, como las que pueden haber sido un factor en la muerte del no-empleado”, dijo. La agencia, escasa de fondos y de personal, intenta inspeccionar menos de una docena de granjas lecheras en Wisconsin cada año. El año que murió Jefferson, seis de las nueve inspecciones que OSHA inició finalmente no se hicieron porque las granjas eran demasiado pequeñas para estar bajo la jurisdicción de la agencia; en tres de los seis casos, alguien había muerto en un incidente. Como consecuencia, normalmente queda en manos de agencias de policía locales y, a veces, agencias de protección al niño, investigar las muertes y lesiones que sufren niños en las granjas. Los archivos muestran que el servicio de protección infantil del Condado de Dane, que está a cargo de investigar las muertes de niños por posible maltrato, fue notificado la noche de la muerte de Jefferson. Parece que la agencia no abrió una investigación. Read the full article

[gigikthings]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Vtg Matchbox -8 Truck/Trailer/Dozer.

[dagboekliesa4d]

11/12/2021

- Nu ik zelf in zo’n hoge frequentie zit van liefde, voel ik het heel erg als iemand iets zegt vanuit een lage frequentie, waardoor mij dat daarin meetrekt omdat ik met mijn gefocuste energie als Projector emoties overneem. Ik heb dat het sterkst met Bart, omdat hij ook het gevoeligste lijkt en zijn rouw, verdriet, trauma’s meer aan ’t oppervlak liggen (en omdat het er heel veel zijn).
 Bij mama is ’t vooral als papa of Myra ter sprake komt. Vroeger nam ik ook veel angst van haar over, maar daarin lijkt ze rustiger geworden en zit ze eerder in ‘Acceptance’-frequentie.
 Maar dus Bart is nu exact hetzelfde als ik vroeger: ik kon mijn emoties niet verbergen omdat ze zo hevig waren en aan ’t oppervlak lagen, en wat dan heel veel invloed had op mijn omgeving (mama & Myra) als het begon te overstromen. Nu heb ik compassie met hen, maar ’t is ook niet makkelijk om Kreeft te zijn met trauma. Ik vrees dat Bart net als ik toen ook vasthoudt aan die identiteit van gevoelig persoon, en dan is ’t moeilijk daar uit te stappen.
 - Als we nu elkaar zouden zien, voelt het echt als een mijnenveld.. Ik kan heel effe in ego schieten en dat heel de boel ontsteekt, en hij terug van 0 moet beginnen en volledig bevriest voor meerdere maanden.
 Ik weet niet, met dat hij zo zuinig is met woorden - hij denkt misschien dat hij moet opletten wat hij zegt opdat ik niet in ego schiet, maar ’t gaat net om de energie die achter zijn bericht zit, waar hij zelf niet eens bewust van is, maar ik voel dat wel.
 - Op dit punt zou ik al gewoon hem liefde sturen zonder iets terug te verwachten, tot ‘ie zelfliefde leert en hij eerder stuurt vanuit het gevoel mij graag te hebben dan iets van mij te willen of te verwachten.
 Bv het voelt dan verkeerd als hij zegt mij wel te willen zien en dan “kerst, misschien?”. Ik had ‘m daarvoor uitgenodigd maar hij had daar niet op gereageerd, en dat ‘ie dan toch plots af kwam, er van uitgaand dat het sowieso kon als vanzelfsprekendheid. Ik zou het gesteld hebben als “Mag ik ..”, maar hij was misschien net erg voorzichtig met woorden, misschien zag ik het te hard. Ervoor zei hij ook van ooit te willen samenwonen in een veilig plekje maar dat voelt ook verkeerd, omdat hij daarmee druk legt op mij omdat ik weet dat hij dat nu het meest nodig heeft als in “als ge mij dat geeft ga ik gelukkig worden” maar hij zo mij verantwoordelijk maakt voor zijn geluk, en hij dat zelf moet doen!
 Hij wilt dan precies dat ik ‘m ga redden met voor hem te zorgen op fysiek vlak zoals T. maar dat ben ik niet!! Ik geef alle tools opdat ze zelf voor het fysieke kunnen zorgen maar hoe vaker Bart zoiets zegt, hoe meer dat voelt als een verwachting ipv mij de vrijheid te geven om die intentie zelf te kiezen, en dat voelt zo fout! Alsof hij dan nu puur gaat zitten wachten tot ik een huis voor ‘m koop, no way.. 
Ik ga hem niet afhankelijk laten maken van mij. Terwijl.. ik wil ‘m dat ook geven, maar niet als hij daar op zit te wachten. Misschien gaf ik ‘m valse hoop door te zeggen dat ik iets voor hem zal kopen als ik ooit rijk ben, maar ik dacht dat ‘ie intussen al meer zichzelf had opgebouwd. Hij moet zelf zijn tractor bouwen ipv zijn karretje ergens aan te hangen. Misschien ligt dat wel in zijn levensplan dat hij afhankelijk moet zijn van een ander voor zijn woonst? Ik weet niet, het voelt als enabling en stappen in groei willen overslaan, en ik weet nu dat bypassing echt geen zin heeft, want hij bouwt zo niet het zelfvertrouwen op dat nodig is om de rest te doen. Ik bedoel, ik kan het, Kimberly kan het, hij had een goed leven op zijn 30e, en met het vertrek van I. is het helemaal misgegaan? Of met D., waar hij ook bij woonde? Waarom bouwt ‘ie niet gewoon zelf een leven op? Om een goed voorbeeld te zijn voor I.? Zit hij zo vast? (En waarom doet K. niks??!!)
 - Ik moet het vertrouwen hebben dat hij de moed heeft om voor zichzelf een leven op te bouwen. Als hij zijn leven niet kan opbouwen, hoe kunnen we dan samen aan iets bouwen, als hij enkel wil profiteren van een ander? Is hij dan al te erg “beschadigd”? Tot dan voel ik dat ik enkel van ‘m kan houden op een afstand, zodat ik genoeg kan gronden en niet meegezogen word in mijn negatieve energie of afhankelijkheid.
 Voor hem lijkt codependentie in een relatie net de norm (omdat zijn ouders ook zo waren?), met dat hij ooit zei dat een mens niet gemaakt is om alleen te zijn en anderen nodig heeft, en zelfliefde alleen niet genoeg is. Zelfliefde is net de basis voor echte liefde, terwijl codependentie liefde is vanuit angst dat ge het niet alleen redt. Misschien zit die overtuiging zo diep bij hem dat hij echt niet kan vatten dat hij zichzelf alles kan geven wat ‘ie nodig heeft? Om die verantwoordelijkheid niet te hoeven nemen? Then again, ik was ook zo vòòr 2019, ik dacht ook dat codependentie de norm was, dat het oké was om van iemand afhankelijk te zijn. Maar ge verstikt elkaar en verliest uw vrijheid (of Bart verwacht dan nog dat hij wel vrijheid krijgt, en de ander niet)
 - Misschien zit er bij hem ook zo’n diep wantrouwen in zichzelf dat hij het niet alleen red.. zoals ik in 2019, maar ’t was dan puur uit overlevingsdrang (en niet terug bij mama moeten wonen) dat ik niet anders kon en mijn zelfvertrouwen heb kunnen opbouwen. Volgens mij is Bart ook zijn zelfvertrouwen en alle geloof in zichzelf kwijt. En dan denk ik, misschien had ik niet die woonst in Zingem mogen vinden, dat zat hij in overlevingsmodus en moest hij het zelf opbouwen.. Ik heb ‘m zo wat ge-enable’t maar anderzijds zou hij hier half komen wonen, dat wou ik nog minder en dan zou ik geen nee durven zeggen hebben.
 Ik heb gezorgd dat hij nog een plek heeft waar hij zijn shadow work kan doen, maar dan moet hij de kans ook grijpen. Anders gaat hij vroeg of laat of buitengezet worden daar (2022: hij is anderhalf jaar later buitengezet..), of hij gaat daar zijn dagen slijten tot dat ik ‘m zou redden, zodat hij nooit de moeilijke stappen moet zetten. 
Ik kan nu van ‘m houden zonder iets te verwachten, dus ik kan nee zeggen als dat voor mij niet juist voelt. Hem stappen doen overslaan en enablen voelen echt niet juist.
 Misschien was mijn sms over mijn angst dat hij dingen van mij wilt niet nodig.. maar dan wist hij nooit dat dat voor mij wel een issue is omdat het al vaak opgekomen is.
 Het is nu net door zijn afstandelijkheid dat ik heb geleerd me aan het proces over te geven (en hij daar dan wat door benadeeld is dat ik ‘m minder achterna jaag)
 Ik kan net als hem nu kiezen hoeveel energie ik er aan geef en hoeveel afstand ik bewaar (Stel dat ik niks meer stuur zonder mij af te keren.. benieuwd of hij dan contact zoekt en hoe lang dat duurt) - 
Bouw uwe eigen tractor! ’t is veel werk, maar ge komt er veel verder mee. (En ge kunt een boerderij beginnen met iemand anders met ne tractor)
 Hij denkt dat een relatie een symbiose is, ik ook vroeger, nu eerder 2 individuen die samen aan iets bouwen. 
Ik geloof dat onze soort reacties ook lijnrecht tegenover elkaar staan van hoe we iets overbrengen en het daarom ook soms clasht.
 Bart kan ook gewoon zijn verlangens willen uiten maar ergens vertrouw ik het niet.. Ik heb dan schrik dat ik maar zit te wachten en te wachten tot hij wakker wordt maar dat hij weigert te werken aan zichzelf en gewoon wacht tot ik ‘m kom redden, eens te meer nu ik ‘m heb gezegd dat ik altijd de zijne zal zijn? Misschien moet ik ‘m duidelijk maken dat ik ‘m niet uit zijn situatie ga redden? En als hij aandacht wil moet ‘m maar vanuit positieve vibes sturen. (Hij zal misschien nu wel weten dat hij niks mag verwachten of nodig hebben van mij)
 ’t is bijna alsof hij zich is gaan berusten in zijn gebrek aan zelfvertrouwen en hij enkel nog op anderen rekent om hem gelukkig te maken, compleet afhankelijk van anderen, maar dan beseft hij helemaal niet dat hij de energie krijgt die hij geeft. Als hij kwaadheid stuurt, krijgt hij kwaadheid terug. Hij is zich niet eens bewust van die reactie omdat hij niet bewust is van zijn emoties. Misschien moet ik ‘m toch met rust laten tot ‘ie zelfvertrouwen heeft (of toch vooral alles negeren waar negatieve energie achter lijkt te zitten - ook als het vragen zijn). Ik kan wel negatieve situaties ontmijnen maar dat vergt veel om mijn hoge frequentie te behouden, meer dan wanneer hij bewust wordt van zichzelf.
 Hij moet echt op het punt komen dat hij meer wilt geven dan nemen zoals ik - anders lukt het echt niet voor mij.
 En ja, ik heb iemand ego-loos nodig als partner, hij komt er met zijn kwetsbaarheid nog het dichtste bij..
 Is het uiteindelijk niet een kwestie van ruimte te geven voor elkaars emoties en die te accepteren ipv als aanval te zien? Ik ben zover dat ik zijn emotie niet persoonlijk neem en als iets objectief bezie waar aan we kunnen werken.. hij is daar nog niet (duurde voor mij ook lang tot het klikte, ook na m’n awakening) 
Ik vraag me af waar hij zou staan met z’n awakening, eens hij die klik maakt.. Ik voel dat ik nu echt duidelijk grenzen kan stellen, zonder hem nog nodig te hebben - hij heeft mij nu weer meer nodig dan ik hem. Ben ik dan het minst awakened als ik ‘m buitensluit? Misschien heb ik de chaos af en toe net nodig.. Ik zal mijn intuïtie van dag tot dag laten spreken, maar nu afspreken voelt niet goed, te ontvlambaar.. 
- Volgens HD zie ik de wereld vanuit Survival (of Wanting), hij vanuit Probability (of Possibilities) > verklaart waarom hij meer bezig is met hoe zijn leven er nog kan uitzien, eerder dan na te gaan wat hij wilt of nodig heeft (zoals wat ik heb). Zo zet hij geen stappen.. Hij is dan gewoon aan ’t vooruit kijken naar de toekomst ipv in het nu te leven. En ik wil net in ’t nu leven.
 - Ik voel me nu wel machtig en wijs, ik verdien meer dan al mijn gedachten naar Bart te laten gaan (waarschijnlijk door dat idealisme). Ik hou nog steeds echt van ‘m, maar ik zie nu in dat hij nog veel werk heeft en ik ‘m laat begaan tot hij inziet dat hij niet kan blijven wachten op de toekomst, en in het nu moet leven. Het is goed dat hij hoop heeft, maar hij mag er niet op rekenen. Het leven is nu, en als hij nu niet aan zijn energie werkt, gaat hij het later ook niet aantrekken.. Wat als hij dan sterft voor zijn wensen uitkomen? Wat als I. geen behoefte meer heeft om terug te komen, want hij voelt dat zijn vader hem niks meer te bieden of te leren heeft? (Net als ik bij papa omdat hij niet kan praten over zijn gevoelens) Als Bart een eigen leven had opgebouwd, zou ik die toekomstdromen niet erg vinden, maar wetende dat hij zich afhankelijk opstelt en van een ander wil profiteren, dan wel.
 - (Dit schrijven helpt heel erg, betere oplossing van sms’en sturen en misschien kan hij het ooit lezen)
 - Door die lange sms’en van hem ben ik misschien té mild geworden.. Eigenlijk, ik kan verwachtingen stellen wat volgens mij nodig is om de relatie te doen slagen en hem enorm zal helpen groeien als mens, omdat ik voel wat goed voor ‘m is, als hij dat niet wilt is dat zijn keuze en verliest hij de enige vrouw in z’n leven die onvoorwaardelijk van ‘m hield, maar waarbij hij weigerde de energie evenwichtiger te maken door aan zichzelf te werken.
 Uiteindelijk is deze relatie er net om zelfliefde aan te leren, voor ons beide. Maar hij is denk ik niet nieuwsgierig genoeg om te groeien en dingen over zichzelf te ontdekken. - 
(Ik ben wel trots op mezelf dat ik mijn ego volledig kan beheersen - online voorlopig. Misschien wordt mijn hoge frequentie zo sterk dat het (mijn ego) offline ook niet meer bovenkomt) - 
Ik moet gewoon aan mijn boek werken, schrijven, comics maken en lezen! (Rest, learn, create, integrate)


[big-stupid-jellyfish]

there’s a special kind of delight when i boop a player with tractor cannon against a wall and they die while the said player boops me against a wall with their own tractor cannon and i die

[aidanhaydcn]

I saw [AIDAN HAYDEN] at a coffee shop in [THE BRONX] today. I forgot how much [HE] looks like [PAUL WESLEY]. They are a [THIRTY-EIGHT] year old [NEUROSCIENTIST] who’s been in NYC for [TWENTY-FOUR YEARS] now. Every time we run into each other, they are always [CHARMING AND COMPASSIONATE] but I’ve heard people say they can also be [UNPREDICTABLE AND HARD-HEADED]. [SHE THINKS MY TRACTOR’S SEXY by KENNY CHESNEY] reminds me of them every time it comes on the radio

☈

bio page || relationships || wanted connections || aesthetics || interactions || musings || answered memes/questions || fun facts || open starters

. B A C K G R O U N D .

[ Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Mention of Depression, Cancer, Death Mentioned ]

Aidan Paul Hayden was the only child of Bethany Hayden but the firstborn to Jason Wisklin. When he was fourteen, his father left his mom for a Brazilian model. Yes, his father is rich - being a shark lawyer will help you achieve that goal, apparently. When his mom moved out of their mansion beach house in Rhode Island - Aidan had a choice of staying with his father or leaving with his mom to the Bronx; the young Wisklin chose the latter - soon changing his last name to his mom’s maiden name of Hayden. Unfortunately, shortly after they settled into their new home in Bronx, New York, his mom underwent severe depression. Even though he was only fourteen, he started to take care of his mom, of course with his grandmother's and aunt's help. Aidan's aunt temporarily moved in with Aidan and his mom, especially after taking his mom to the hospital after she tried to swallow a bottle of pills.

They thought of taking her to a psychiatric hospital but considering she does not have her husband's insurance anymore, they decided against it. Thus, they continued to keep her on depressants. Only one issue - giving depressants to the depressed is like handing an alcoholic a lifetime supply of liquor. When Aidan was away at school, he took his History test when an announcement buzzed over the speakers in the classroom for him to report to the principal’s office. Now, Aidan was a good kid - the straight As, nose in a book, non-trouble-causing kind of kid, so getting called into the principal’s office was out of the norm for him, and he quickly became nervous as to why he was getting called there. Luckily he was just about done with his test, so he quickly filled in his answers, gave the answer sheet to his teacher, and collected his bags before heading towards the principal’s office. Once he saw his aunt’s red eyes - it didn’t take him long to put two and two together, and his heart began to beat a million miles a minute. Swinging the door open, all his aunt had to do was look at him with the look and shake her head. His mother passed… Quickly turning on his heels, Aidan raced back to his house, never stopping his tiny feet from pounding on the cement. No matter how fast he ran, it felt as if he couldn’t get home fast enough. Once he did, he busted through his front door, dropping his backpack, and shouted for his mom as he raced through the small apartment. No answer. Eventually, he crawled in his mom’s bed into a ball, his aunt soon coming through the door and sitting beside him - placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Aidan’s Aunt was the only immediate family he had, and luckily it was just her, his uncle, and his three baby cousins; neither his aunt nor uncle hesitated to take him in. Going back to Rhode Island with his father was an option, at least legally - but it isn’t for Aidan. To Aidan, he is the reason why his mother is no longer with them, he loathes his father, and if Aidan had anything to do with it, he never wanted to be around him again. Ergo - he was raised happily in his Aunt and Uncle’s single-family home. He wasn’t a straight-A student anymore, but he never had a letter grade lower than a B-. Aidan was still a good teen, became a slightly rebellious teenager, but he wasn’t causing any real trouble or harm to anyone. Even though he didn’t have the highest GPA in his class - it was still high enough to get accepted into Columbia University as a Psych major. Experiencing firsthand what a mental illness can do to someone, Aidan became intrigued with how the human brain worked and wanted to learn more. It turns out, Aidan adored his psych and neuroscience classes, and within long and tiring few years, Aidan obtained his Ph.D. in Neuroscience and Behavior. When Aidan was thirty, he received an ominous email from someone he thought sounded familiar but couldn’t put his finger on why it did sound familiar. But, then, reading the email - it didn’t take long to figure it out. It was his father’s Brazilian model wife. According to his new wife, they had two children together and are still happy when they first got together; oh, how perfect for them. But, as he continued to read on, he realized that bloating on how perfect their marriage is wasn’t the reason for the email. His father was sick, lung cancer, and according to the four doctors he’s going to, he didn’t have that much longer to live. At first, his first thought was karma, but the more he thought about it - the more he realized this was his last chance to tell his father how he truly feels. So, he took his two-week vacation and drove over to his old Rhode Island home; shockingly - he still knew how to get there. Aidan had it all planned out, what he was going to do, to say - everything, but the moment he laid his eyes on his father, the memory of when he was fourteen and crawled up into a ball, weeping for his mom who took her own life because of what he did - the memory brought up old buried anger. He couldn’t say anything; he just stared in a frozen state, though when his legs were working again, he turned on his heels, got back in the car, and drove off.

It took a lot to return to his father, but eventually, he did. Without holding anything back, he refrained from cursing him out; no matter how badly he wanted to, his mom raised him to respect others no matter who the other is or what they have done. Once they worked out their differences, they spent the next few days bonding with one another. Aidan is far from calling him dad, but at least he did apologize for his past mistakes and made his condolences on his mother’s passing. One week later, his father peacefully passed away - and thanks to the heads up on his father’s decreasing health, his late wife already arranged his funeral/cremation. The Wisklins were accepting and kind - continued to offer Aidan a place to stay, gave him the medium pot of his father’s ashes, encouraged him to stay for the inheritance reading. One of the main reasons he stayed was that he wanted to get to know his half-siblings, they seemed like good kids, and Aidan always wanted little siblings. When it came time for the inheritance reading, he wasn’t expecting anything - but to his surprise, that wasn’t the case. An old red 1954 XK120 Jaguar he helped his father work on when he was younger was left to him, along with a settlement that will last him a lifetime, as well as an old ring his mother first gave him that he kept. Somehow, the old ring allowed Aidan to respect the old man rather than simply getting to know him again. Now that ring never leaves his right index finger.

Coming back home, he had time to think about what to do with the money. Then he had a perfect idea. Aidan Hayden opened up his own Neuroscience Research building in the Bronx, New York, in honor of his mother; he named it Bethany’s Place, dedicating his research to not only trying to understand depression better but come up with a better way of healing people with depression and anxiety than depressants.

Now, Aidan lives happily in his home near the water - he still keeps in contact with his younger half-siblings, even offered them a place to stay if they ever wanted to visit. However, the man’s primary focus is still on his research at Bethany’s Place.

. C O N N E C T I O N S . 

■ . Half-Siblings — Considering the distain Aidan held towards his father, Aidan never knew he had siblings, at least until he was 30 and drove to see his father to see him before passing. Spending time with them, along with their father - he grew a bond with them. No, it’s not a strong one but what can you expect from half siblings that met after years of being alive?  — CONNECTIONs is OPEN. [ ZERO/TWO ]

■ . Aunt TBA — Aidan and his aunt always had a close bond, though when she had to move in with him and his mom when she was going through her serve depression, their bond grew stronger, she became like a second mom to Aidan. Though when Aidan’s mom did pass due to suicide, she technically did become his mom when she took him in and raised him. The two still have a close bond, but now nearly being 40 and having his own research center to take care of, they didn’t talk as frequently as they used to. Something that Aidan wants to change...eventually.  — CONNECTION is OPEN.

■ . Cousins — When Aidan’s mom passed, Aidan was “adopted” by his aunt and uncle. He and his little cousins grew up as best friends and even though Aidan does have half-siblings, his cousins were always more of his siblings. Then again, they grew up together since they were young.  — CONNECTIONs is OPEN.  [ ZERO/THREE]

■ . Ride -or- Die  — The two had an unbreakable bond since they were freshmens in high school. When Aidan moved from Rhode Island to New York - the move was harsh on the young Hayden, though the other helped him cope and they were by each other’s side all day and all night. Some people actually believed they were siblings, and they even call each other as such. Without the other, Aidan truly believed that he would never survive after his big move and lose of his mother. They are truly Aidan’s rock - his Ride -or- Die. — CONNECTION is OPEN.

☈

[pix4japan]

Broken Headlight

Headlights came as an option on John Deere Model 40T tractors from the mid-1950s. Don’t know if this shot would be categorized as an abstract shot, still-life shot, or automotive shot.

Regardless, I was enamored with the contrast in lines and shapes while the painted-over rust on the headlight and the radiator make the two subjects cohesive.

Pentax K-1 II + D FA 28-105mm F3.5-5.6 68 mm ISO 100 for 1/200 sec. at ƒ5.6

Licensing & Prints: https://www.pix4japan.com

[huntermcbride]

[MATTHEW DADDARIO] — Have you seen HUNTER MCBRIDE walking around? They’re a THIRTY-THREE year old CIS MAN with HE/HIM pronouns. They supposedly live in NORTH ROSECASTLE and currently work as a THE OWNER OF H.M. AUTOMOTIVE. Rumor has it, Rosecastle PD says they’re A SUSPECT when it comes to the case. I guess that makes sense, considering they’re KIND-HEARTED, ROMANTIC. Though, if you ask around, some would say they’re also JADED, RETICENT.

S T A T S;

Full name; Hunter Michael McBride

Age; 33

Nicknames; n/a

Date of birth; March 13, 1988

Occupation; Mechanic/owner of H.M. Automotive

Nationality; American

Religion; Athiest

Sexual orientation; Heterosexual

Relationship status; Single

Spoken Languages; English

A P P E A R A N C E;

Face Claim; Matthew Daddario

Height; 6’3”

Build; Slender, athletic

Tattoos; n/a

Piercings; n/a

Hair color; Brown

Eye color; Brown

P E R S O N A L I T Y; 

Positive: Kind-hearted, romantic, hard-working

Negative: Jaded, reticent, insecure

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

B A C K G R O U N D;

Hometown; Rosecastle, MA

Education Level; High school graduate, Trade school

Pets;  Dino (German Shepherd), Barbie (Boston terrier - sister's dog)

Father;  Alexander McBride

Mother; Eliza McBride

Siblings; Frances McBride (sister), brother

M I S C E L L A N E O U S;

Phobias; tight spaces

Allergies; Raspberries

Hobbies; Gardening, playing with his dogs, fishing, hiking, hunting, canoeing. horseback riding

Aesthetics; Flannel shirts, the smell of gasoline, dirty hands, worn work boots, cigars, black coffee, smile lines, apple pie, bonfires, sunsets on the beach

MURDER TW, DEATH TW, ABDUCTION TW

Growing up in Rosecastle, Hunter did his best with the situation he was given. Aside from his family's farm, their 'claim to faim', was that his aunt, Mary-Ellen, was the very first victim of the Starlight Killer.

It was clear from a young age that his father held onto a lot of pain and guilt from her murder and not being able to protect her. It was because of this that the three McBride children never really got as much of the attention and love they deserved. Still, they did their best.

As a teenager, Hunter was your all-American boy. Captain of the football team, homecoming king and prom king. Everyone said he was really growing places with his kind personality and nice smile.

In senior year of high school, he fell in love with a girl. The kind of love that sends of all of the bells and whistles. The kind of love that made him stop all of his plans of going to college. Instead, he went to a trade school locally and learned everything he could about cars, tractors, anything with an engine really. Within a few years, he had proposed to who he thought was the love of his life.

Hunter worked hard by working at another mechanic shop and doing side projects to save up enough money to start his own shop. In the end, he came up a bit short and his father had to pitch in a litte, but they were all so proud. This was around the time his baby sister, Frances, really started taking off in high school.

Soon enough, Hunter had his shop and Frances was off to college. Within the next year, his life began to fall apart. He and his fiancee had a falling out, ending their relationship. As much pain as it caused Hunter, he did his very best to not let it affect his personality towards others. He had to be seen as that hometown hero, still. There had to be a piece of him that was something different and more notable than being the nephew of that first victim.

Over the years, Hunter has really made a name for himself and become a bit of a friend to everyone in the community. He finally found peace within himself and being single when his sister went missing.

The facade that he's been holding onto for so long is starting to crack, not knowing where Frances is, or if she's okay. While his heart is still made of gold, Hunter McBride is really just a scared little boy deep down, hoping someone else can come in and save the day for once.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

How 6a Foreshadowed Beth’s Return in S10/S11

Okay Everyone! This will be long and sprawling. In other words, very typical me. ;D

Let me preface it by saying that there are three things that have been floating around in my mind over the past week: the Phantom of the Opera template, the Pied Piper Template, and then I kept having the thought that maybe I should go back to 6a and look at Operation Lead the Walkers Away again. I’m not even sure why I kept thinking that. Maybe it’s just the obvious fact that we’re dealing with TF being surrounded by a huge horde in S10, so there could possibly be some parallels there. But I didn’t know for sure, beyond what we’ve already seen in the past.

I finally went back and watched a bunch of 6a episodes this past week. Boy was I in for a treat. ;D

Pied Piper Template:

Let’s start with the Pied Piper. My fellow theorists and I had discussed this briefly, though not in great detail. The reason we came up with it at all is because we’ve seen so many rats this season. I think we saw them 3 times, but I’m already forgetting where one of them was.

We saw a bunch of rats running ahead of the walker horde near Yumiko and Kelly. Then we had Negan equating rats with possums. Which is super important because that links Beth to the rat symbolism through the possum, in a 6-Degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon sort of way. ;D 

And I think we saw a dead rat in a cage. Originally, I couldn’t remember when. I remember thinking the cage looked a lot like the ones in the pet shop in 6a, and I was hoping we would see a dead dog inside (twisted as that sounds) because it would've been more Sirius symbolism. But it wasn't a dog, it was a rat. And I was disappointed. Looking through screenshots, I found it. It was during the Michonne/Virgil episode. She found a dead rat in a cage when she was snooping around his compound.

The conundrum I have with the Pied Piper symbolism is that I'm not sure exactly how we’re meant to interpret it. Obviously, there is a major musical theme in that legend, and that's good. But at the same time, the Pied Piper (the one who played music and therefore the one who would probably be equated with Beth) was kind of an evil character. He led the children away (and Beth does have a child and baby theme around her) but he basically led them to their deaths and separated them from their parents. Really doesn't sound like a very Beth-ish thing to do. So again, it's not that I doubt the template being used. I just wasn't sure exactly how to interpret it.

Then I got this ask in my inbox. It totally kicked me in the butt and sent me somersaulting down a tunnel. Check it out.

So, to answer the Nonny who asked it, I really don’t think Carol will figure very heavily in the actual “leading away” of the walkers. She’s around, of course. She and Kelly were seen filming separately from others in part of the city, so I think they’re going to have their own arc, separate from Daryl’s. I have some evidence for this belief based on foreshadows we saw in 6a. I’ll get to that in a minute. That said, thank you SO MUCH for this ask. I really led to a lot of clarity for me, which I’m about to explain in the rest of this post.

6x01: Operation Lead the Walkers Away commences

I've totally never thought to equate the Pied Piper template with Operation Lead the Walkers Away. Maybe I should have. Why haven't I? Probably because they didn't actually use music to lead the walkers in 6a. There was some noise, such as the noise the flare guns made, but for the most part they used flashing lights and the motion of the cars. Not music. So. it just didn't occur to me.

But I think this Nonny is completely right and onto something. It's what made me go back and watch a good portion of 6A.

My mind started spinning with all these possibilities.

The basic premise of what I’m about to say here is that Operation Lead the Walkers away in 6a was a foreshadow what's happening now with Alpha’s/Beta’s horde. And that's super important because in my mind, it shows the Beth is about to be back.

Like, right now.

With all the social media stuff they're doing, I think it's pretty obvious that Beth will show up in the finale, but this cements it for me.

So, Nonny suggests that Beth and Carol will lead the walkers away, but I don’t think so. Carol was nowhere around the horde in S6. She was back at Alexandria fighting the wolves. But remember this decomposing chica?

Everyone on TD equated her with Beth and she’s not only leading the horde, but is directly behind Daryl most of the way. So, I don’t think Daryl and Carol will lead the walker horde away from the hospital in S11.

I think Beth and Daryl will.

Think about it. That’s how Beth fits into the Pied Piper template. She won’t be leading children away (who knows if they’ll even use that part of the template at all?), she’ll be leading rats away, and in TWD world, rats = walkers. This entire sequence in 6a was one big foreshadow of what would be going on when Beth returns. There will be a walker horde storyline, and she and Daryl will be leading them away from Alexandria/TF.

Hence, why this blond, female, Beth-ish walker is so front and center during the entire sequence. Also, just for the record, this walker ends up front and center just before Glenn falls off the dumpster, which also equates her with the death fake out. Just saying.

Next up: the Sasha/Abraham dynamic. This is an edit I made and have reposted several times. 

There are some significant shots where it shows a lineup of Sasha, Abraham, and Daryl from the side. We also hear Glenn was counting 1, 2, 3 at the tractor place. I think the “1, 2, 3” could represent the three parts of the 15-season arc. One is Bethyl being together (Sashraham). Two is Daryl alone. Three is Beth’s return (Blond walker).

After 6x06, I came to realize that Sasha and Abraham were a Bethyl proxy. Once I realized that, I took Daryl being beside them as a way to associate him with them or them with him. To show that they were proxies of Beth and Daryl. But it's a lot more than that. It not only shows that there were proxies of Beth and Daryl, but it's a way to show that Beth and Daryl together (i.e. Sasha and Abraham) will end up leading the walker horde together.

(By the way, not all of this will probably happen in the finale. I'm thinking this can be a big part of the story line 11 A.)

So, here's the thing that really killed me about 601. Just as the horn goes off and the walkers start leaving the road and heading toward Alexandria, we see a sign advertising the mansions of Alexandria. 

There's an eight on it. It says they started 800K. And then at the top of the sign is the phrase, "You're almost home." For me, that shows that this is a foreshadow of something that will happen eight years later, and will bring the Sirius character home.

6x02: Enid’s Backstory and the Wolves

We’ve always seen a lot of Beth parallels in Enid’s backstory. And we’ve never known exactly why they used her for those parallels, though there have been plenty of theories over the years.

We have to look at 6a as a whole rather than at each episode in a vacuum. If you do away with the episode break between 6x01 and 6x02, we have is a situation where they showed that sign (800 K/“you're almost home”) and the very next thing we see is this girl on the outside alone who survives and ends up at the gates of Alexandria.

That's why there's so much that symbolism around Enid in this sequence. We were spot on back then. She is most definitely a proxy for Beth, but she wasn't a proxy for Beth back in S6. She's a proxy for Beth coming up in season 10/11. Also, that red jacket she's wearing? Red equals resurrection, right? So the point is, they're telling us that in conjunction with a great big walker horde, the Sirius character will return, it will happen eight years after the time period of 6A, and that a female character who's been out on her own for a while will show up at the gates of Alexandria. Oh, and she’ll be a resurrected character. 

The Wolves

Let’s talk about the wolves, who we’ve long equated with the Whisperers. There's been a lot of conjecture about the gray ninja being from a new group. So, in the middle of Operation Lead the Walkers Away, a new group shows up at Alexandria (the wolves). Now, we have another huge walker horde storyline, and a new group (the gray ninja) has shown up. My point is just that the parallels are there.

Carl and Enid in 6x02. This is SO great, guys, and something we never could have recognized back in S6.

When the Wolves first show up, Carol sees them out the window. Carl comes running down the stairs holding a gun and says that he saw them from upstairs and they’re coming in from everywhere. Carol then tells him to STAY THERE AND PROTECT JUDITH.

This jumped out at me because, in terms of what this foreshadows in S10, who is the one who is protecting Judith right now? It's Daryl. Rick is gone, Carl is gone, and even Michonne is gone. So, Daryl is Judith's protector and mentor right now.

Long story short, Enid and Carl represent Beth and Daryl in the sequence. It's a foreshadow for things that will happen when Beth returns in S10/S11.

So, Enid gets into the house of a set of KEYS. Obviously, that's a huge symbol because, Key Theory. Carl almost shoots her before realizing that it's her. Random aside: I wonder if this will end up happening in some way with Beth and Daryl. He’ll think she's whisperer or something and almost shoots her before she reveals herself.

Enid says she's leaving, and Carl says she isn't. He says she needs to stay there and help him protect Judith. (Again, obviously with Rick and Michonne and Carl gone, Beth would stay with Daryl and help protect Judith.) Also, keep in mind that Enid and Carl were Bethyl proxies in terms of their romance and they did the intertwined fingers hand hold in S7. Just saying.

Then we have lots of interesting Beth dialogue. Carl (Daryl) says, "Don't tell me goodbye." Enid replies, "Okay. I won't tell you goodbye." I think we could interpret this a couple of different ways. On the one hand, perhaps it shows that once Beth returns, there will be no more goodbyes between her and Daryl. That's definitely my favorite interpretation.

But to be fair, Enid was being sneaky here and using a play on words. She didn't tell him goodbye, but she still left. She snuck out when he wasn't looking. That may just equate to Beth not saying goodbye to Daryl when they were first separated in S4/S5. So, another way to equate Enid with Beth. Maybe we should be reading other things into this as well, but if so, we probably won’t know what they are until they play out in the show.

During the Enid/Carl/Don’t-tell-me-goodbye scene, Enid said something interesting. She was saying that Alexandria was too big to protect. Too many blind spots (so, a Beth proxy talking about blindness). And then she said, “That’s how we—” and Carl cut her off.

I don’t know if everyone remembers this, but when it aired, there was a lot of conjecture about Enid being part of the Wolves group. Like maybe they sent her in ahead of time as a scout. Obviously. that wasn’t the case, but it’s because of this line that people thought it. I still have no idea what the end of this sentence would have been, but I’m wondering now if it was merely symbolic. Maybe it will make sense the second time around? Thought that was worth mentioning.

We definitely several bicycles when the wolves attacked. And at one point, Carl leaves the house to help Ron. When they focus on Enid, standing on the porch, she's framed by a yellow doorway. I thought that was interesting. And remember that, after Enid leaves and meets up with Glenn in 6x07, we see her playing with a little red firetruck in the café.

I’m also wondering how far the Carl/Enid = Beth/Daryl metaphor will extend. In 6x05, we had the slap fight between Ron and Carl,

and it occurred to me that Ron represents a second love interest for Beth. I know, I know. We don’t like to think of her having any love interest except Daryl.

For me, I always think that maybe there will be someone in her group that is interested in her, but she doesn’t really reciprocate. (You could argue that this was true of Enid, as she often lied to Ron about leaving Alexandria and was ALWAYS looking at Carl.) So, I’m wondering if this foreshadows circumstances when Beth shows up, or if it doesn’t extend that far and is JUST meant to be a Carl/Enid thing. That could be the case, too.

Morgan:

Okay, let me deviate for a minute and talk about Morgan. At some point, I had the random thought that Morgan was one person who would not be part of the sequence in S10. In the same way a lot of the characters that were alive in S6 are now dead, he was there in S6, but now he's gone to FTWD, so I don't expect to see him when what S6 foreshadowed comes to pass in S10.

Or should we expect to see him?

As soon as I had that thought, things started jumping out at me about Morgan. For one, there's the conversation with Michonne about the peanut butter protein bar. A lot of people commented on that back then and how it was discontinuous. Because if you go back and watch Clear, Michonne is clearly not eating a protein or granola bar. It looks and crunches like potato chips. Back when S6 first aired, I also didn't understand peanut butter symbolism. It’s still a discontinuity, but if they’re changing something like that, in a way that fans can easily figure out and scorn them for, there's got to be a good reason for it. In short, they probably changed it specifically to put in the peanut butter symbolism.

Now, the peanut butter is definitely a Beth symbol. It also strikes me that we have Rick, Michonne, and Morgan together in the shot. As of right now, Rick is with the helicopter people in Michonne is going there to get him. So, it could be that Morgan will run into them inside the helicopter group in some way. (Just as a reminder, all these characters have their own arcs and while we focus on Beth symbolism, each character’s arc is probably foreshadowed in much the same way, and we just don’t realize it because we don’t focus on anyone else.)

We definitely have hints that the FTWD characters will run into the helicopter group at some, right? So many the peanut butter symbolism is more about Rick than anything else. I'm not sure, but it's interesting.

Then, we have the part when Morgan holds Judith on the porch while he's talking to Rick. It’s interesting because Judith is such a huge part of the storyline right now, and maybe this foreshadows that Morgan might have something to do with her storyline when this sequence comes back around in S10.

He’s also the one who reaches the wolf truck with Spencer and silences the horn.

Yes, I know he's on FTWD and that would constitute a major time jump for his arc, but I always think it would be cool if anybody from Fear suddenly popped up on TWD. It doesn't even have to be Morgan. I'd be super happy to suddenly see John Dorie show up in the woods or something. (I answered an ask mentioning this yesterday, btw.) But I digress.

Here’s the next thing that’s super crazy. I…well, didn't exactly forget, but I wasn't thinking about this at all until I did my re-watch. The truck that hit the church, that was driven by the wolves, the one whose horn began to blare and pull the walkers off the road? Do you remember what kind of truck it was? It was one of those Dell Arno trucks. The one that says, “how the harvest gets home” on one side.

Back in 5x16, when Daryl and Aaron first triggered the wolf trap, EVERYONE equated this with Beth. I don’t want to go into the specific symbolism now, but it has to do with life and growth and coming home. So, in short, the harvest = Beth. Yet another reason we thought she would “come home” in conjunction with the wolves.

But do you see? This may be the best thing I found in the episode. It means the "new group" that shows up during the S10 walker horde storyline is going to be how the harvest (Beth) gets home. Boom! Confirmation. Right there. She’s got to either be this ninja, or with this ninja’s group.

6x03: Pet Shop, Glenn’s Death Fake Out, Rick’s Epic Marathon, and the Weirdness of Daryl

Onto episode 603. There’s definitely some interesting stuff having to do with Rick and his storyline. Episode 3 is Glenn’s death fake out, of course, but also had the parts where we saw Rick running along the road for long stretches of time. He ran on foot back around the route and got into the RV, right?

Well, the RV had yellow balloons tied to it. Rick got into the vehicle with the yellow balloons tied to it and drove away. I'm thinking that's pretty much the same thing as him escaping through the yellow carnival ride in 7x12. This is a very early foreshadow of him having a death take out and escaping death. (Which could also be why they included Glenn's line of "good luck, dumbass" from S1.) Then we have the RV not starting for him near the end of the episode and at the beginning of 6x05, he comes running up to the gates on foot. Not sure exactly how to interpret that but I think it's interesting and probably a foreshadow.

(A note on 604: Morgan’s Big Episode. I didn't rewatch it. I don't think I need to go over the specific symbolism in it. While it’s important (remember it has a goat named Tabitha, who was resurrected in the bible) it’s not terribly applicable here except to say that, like Enid’s backstory squence, it's once again important that they interrupted this whole sequence to show us Morgan's back story and the massive Beth parallels in it.)

Remember the weirdness of Daryl? I’ve posted about this more than once. (HERE) His behavior in 603 was just really strange. First, he abandoned Sasha and Abraham to go back and help Rick, but he couldn't find him. Then he heard gunshots on the radio and started to freak out because he didn't know where Rick was or if he needed help. Then, with no explanation and without telling anyone, he simply met up with Sasha and Abraham again and stayed with them. I just thought it was weird that he suddenly changed his mind and it didn't explain what his thought process was.

Meanwhile, on a panel after that episode aired, someone asked Norman about it. He was obviously very reluctant to answer, because he didn't want to give spoilers, and all he said was that Daryl did it for more than Rick. There was more of a reason for it than just that. Once again, that's never been explained. I think I know what it means now. 

What I'm thinking here is that this foreshadows Daryl finding out Rick is still alive. Warning: this may not be anybody's favorite idea, but I’m just putting out there what I’m seeing. If Sasha and Abraham represent Bethyl. and we have Daryl leaving and them getting mad at him, maybe we’ll reach a point in the story where Daryl finds out Rick is alive and leaves to go find him.

While I'm obviously not in favor of Beth and Daryl splitting up ever again, right about this time, rumors of this Daryl Dixon movie started circulating. I know it's not official. It hasn't been greenlighted. So, it's not something we can really count on. But people are really misinterpreting what's being said as well. If they do the Daryl Dixon movie, it will be between seasons. Which means he would probably be the finale of one season, they’ll do this at this to the movie in the off-season, and then he would be there again for next season. I really don't see Norman not being on the show for any stretch of time. But this opens up some interesting possibilities.

Understand, I'm assuming Beth would be back in 10×16. And there will probably be another Operation Lead the Walkers Away/Pied Piper template in 11a. Probably not much time will pass during that. Maybe only a few days. So, let's say hypothetically after that, Daryl learns that Rick is alive. I'm thinking of the sequence in 6a where he leaves Sashraham to go find Rick. Neither of them were very happy about that. Plus, there were major Beth vibes, both in Daryl saying, “Nah. I have faith in ya.” And in Rick’s walkie-talkie speech, where he said, “This…is for them.”

So, if Daryl goes, maybe Beth will be angry at him for leaving. But think about that. If he leaves, he would leave her in charge, and she would be the sheriff.

Again, these are just possibilities. It may be much more symbolic than this. And you could also interpret it as that he THOUGHT about leaving Sashraham, but didn’t really. I mean, he did for a few minutes, but he didn’t REALLY go back and help Rick. So maybe it will just be a small part of things rather than something he actually does. I can see someone saying that Rick would want him to stay and watch over Rick and Michonne’s kids, and that convinces him to stay. And incidentally, that would parallel well with Rick’s speech over the walkie in 6a about staying the course and seeing things through. (“This is for them. If we go back now, it will be for us.”)

Phantom of the Opera Template

Full Disclosure: I’ve been mildly obsessed with the idea of the Phantom of the Opera template lately. There are really two reasons I keep fixating on this. One is just because I think it would be awesome. I’m totally rooting for it. ;D

From a more symbolic standpoint, it's because of Daryl's, "I never sung out in public before," line. I can just see that coming to pass in the Phantom of the Opera template storyline.

I will say that I can also see it happening in this Pied Piper storyline. Because I'm assuming that Beth and Daryl lead the walker away together, they will probably use music to do it.

I'm not saying Daryl will embrace his inner Miley Cyrus and suddenly belt out pop music, but if Beth is singing, and he's helping her in any way—perhaps if he holds a radio or something to contribute to the music and bring walkers toward them—I think that would qualify as satisfying the foreshadow. They’ll be out in front of people and sort of on display with something musical going on.

It’s too bad juke boxes are huge and need to be plugged in. I’d be all for Daryl holding one up over his head like John Cusack in…whatever that 80s film was. ;D

So with that in mind, maybe I don't need the Phantom of the Opera template, right? It's much more likely that it will happen somewhere in the Pied Piper template. I could get behind that 100% and accept that the rest is just my head canon.

Except for one thing.

Do you remember Denise’s storyline in 608/609? Obviously, she's a proxy for Beth. Remember that Creepy Wolf Dude took her captive for a short time, and Greg Nicotero said that he kinda fell in love with her?

Yeah, sounds like the Phantom of the Opera template to me. At the very least, it shows that someone — probably someone foreshadowed by the wolves, which would be a whisperer—will take Beth captive for time and probably fall in love with her.

I don't know how familiar everyone is with Phantom of the Opera, so let me give you a quick rundown. In the play, the Phantom (that would be Beta because he wore the mask) falls in love with Christine (that would be Beth) who is a singer. At one point in the story, he kidnaps her and her love interest Raoul (obviously Daryl) follows to get her.

The interesting thing is that he doesn't really save her. Don't get me wrong, he shows up and they get away together, but the Phantom gets the better of him and it gets to a point where the Phantom demands that Christine do what he wants, or he’ll kill her lover. I can see something like that happening between Bethyl and Beta. (I mean, we’ve all had the sense that at some point, Beth will save Daryl, right? I’m also thinking of the symbolism of Lydia showing up in a pillar of light to save him from Alpha earlier this season.)

But what really works in terms of Beth's arc is that Christine pretty much saved herself. She agrees to do with the Phantom wants in order to save Raoul, but really, by bringing across harsh truths to him, she basically talks him into letting them go. Which he does.

Now, the Phantom ends up living in the play. He just doesn't end up with Christine. I don't really see the happening with Beta. Because this is TWD, I'm sure they'll kill off Beta at some point. That’s just how they’ll deviate from the template. And remember that Creepy Wolf Dude with Denise was bitten and died.

The other thing I want to talk about is the idea of sexuality in Phantom of the Opera. So, in the story, the Phantom isn’t a rapist. At least, not in a classical sense. Not in a throw-her-down-and-attack-her sort of way. He talks openly of marrying her and even puts her in a wedding dress at some point. BUT he also makes no secret of the fact that he wants to have physical relations with her. And then there’s the fact that he’s forcing her to be with him and she has no choice in the matter. So, it’s a form of rape, but again, not an attack rape so much as a manipulative, Weinstein kind of rape. *shudders* So anyway, obviously I don’t think Beth will be raped or anything (for the record, Christine wasn’t; she and the Phantom never had sex). But I was thinking that if the threat is there with Beta, it could fulfill something I’ve been harping on forever: the idea of Gorman having been a foreshadow of something else to come. I always said the next threat would be bigger and, even just in terms of stature and shoulder width, Beta is definitely a bigger threat than Gorman.

The rest is more general. (I’m almost done; I promise.) In 605, we have Maggie and Aaron in the sewer. And this is more that isn’t very well explained. I know the two walkers they find in there are supposed to be the people Deanna banished, but it still wasn’t explained to my satisfaction.

There’s also a ladder in there that hits Aaron (Beth proxy) in the forehead and bloodies him. The ladder is usually about people saving themselves or being rescued, so it’s not clear why one was included here, other than symbolically. As this is literally a dark tunnel and in conjunction with Glenn’s death fake out, I’m sure you can see the symbolism. But even so. I’m sure this points to something in S10.

Remember that they showed the sewer grate below Beta’s horde at the hospital, and we’ve seen the sewer at Alexandria be used many times to hide, escape, or sneak around. So, if Aaron = Beth, I’m wondering if Beth and Maggie will use that sewer beneath the hospital in S10 to either get into the hospital, or get people out of the hospital.

When Rick is attacked in the RV by wolves, he finds that jar of baby carrots, right? For the first time, that is making sense beyond just the carrot symbol. Because the carrot symbol is a thing, but why have it in this sequence? Again, to show that when this happens again with the horde, we’ll reach the second phase of Beth’s story, and the carrot doesn’t mature until its second season of growth. The second time around, if you will.

The last thing I’ll talk about briefly is episode 6x06. I actually didn’t rewatch it for this post, but that’s because I know that episode backwards, forward, and inside out. The short of it is that 6x06 is chalk-full of Beth symbolism that points to Daryl meeting Beth out in the woods.

So without getting into the nitty-gritties, much like Enid’s backstory and Morgan’s backstory, it’s just significant that they put this episode here, in conjunction with the walker horde storyline. Everything about 6a was hinting at Beth’s return. It just wasn’t going to actually happen until 8 years later.

I will say that the events of 6x06 do muddle the chronology a bit for me. Everything else points to Beth leading the walker horde away with Daryl, but 6x06 happens AFTER they’ve led the horde away.

So, there’s a good chance I’m interpreting at least some of this a little incorrectly. In fact, just let me reiterate that. I’m sure I’ll have lots of people who disagree at least with parts of this. A lot of this is just me brainstorming and I could turn out to be wrong. That’s totally fine. 

But the rock-bottom line? Who cares! Everything points to Beth’s return in conjunction with the walker horde story line. So if I’m a little off about some or all of this, I’m cool with that. As always, it will make more sense as it unfolds in the show.

Thoughts?

[sassyhazelowl]

Facebook must be jacking around with their ad algorithms again, so I decided to see what they think I should view: Youtube Channel about animals Teacher’s humor page Tractor Supply Prince [the artist formally known as] Political Prop Ad Disney+ City’s Health Department Hulu Domino’s Pizza Garage Door Opener The Dodo ABC News (national) Amazon Yellowstone National Park ABC (local channel) California Tourism Sierra Club HBO Max Pine Resort, Bass Lake (another tourism ad) Special K History page Christmas ornaments I give it a D+ for effort but most of these ads really aren’t of interest to me at all. At least I stopped being showed in Prop Ads even though I’m getting tons of texts.

[qebeccaldwin-blog]

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