#Don't mind some odd things in this one im experimenting ^u^;

[residentialsinyomakai]

YO-TOBER DAY 5: CLASSICAL

One of my personal favorite classics is Pallyaol, I really like his design and personality in the games (‘∀‘　)

[compendiumofdecay]

Do you think Shigaraki would be into:

Pet play

Hypnosis

Body functions/gross play (emet0, eruct0, etc.)

Breeding

Musk/Sweat

Love your content! -🍄

ah alright we have a list LOL. i'll break it down

MDNI.

this one's longer, read below the cut 🫶

pet play: eh. 5/10.

he would probably engage in it if his partner was into it, but it's not a huge kink of his. he's seen catgirls, which he does find hot, and he could probably get behind some basic level puppy play, but nothing beyond that. i think if anything, yeah he'd be into the whole cat-girl/boy thing, and would NOT complain if his partner had ears/tail etc. but he's more into "primal play" which is less pet behavior and more animalistic and feral, like growling, biting, scratching.

however, he has heard of A/B/O dynamics and has had a few fantasies about that. which could tie in to 1) breeding and 2) musk/smell.

hypnosis: not really, 3/10.

this is gonna sound silly but the first person i associate hypnoplay with is mr. compress. cause he's a magician LOL.

he wouldn't really want to have to force someone to obey him like that. he would rather have a partner willing to obey his commands and fulfill his desires, and in turn he will do the same. he thinks mind control is going too far, honestly- and he isn't necessarily into anything "consensual-non-consensual" unless boldly and thoroughly discussed beforehand. he likes his partner level-headed, otherwise he feels like he has to bribe them or trick them into loving him, and that's not at all what he wants.

bodily functions: overall, 5/10.

emeto: not his thing. 0/10.

nope. he spent a LOT of his youth and even into adulthood sick, and nauseous. he does not associate being sick with anything sexual or euphoric. in fact, (and i might be projecting a bit but im allowed to do that and so are you) he may have developed an aversion to vomit over the years, doing his best to avoid it as much as possible. granted, he won't have a full-blown fear since he's desensitized, but it does remind him of pain and trauma.

eructophilia (i had to google this term, thank u for teaching me lol): ehhhh 5/10? depending?

tbh? this is an odd one! no judgement zone here, i can kinda see where you could apply it to tomu. i did my research on this pretty quickly- but i think the lack of manners might be the most intriguing part of this kink to him.

i hc him as being kinda crude to begin with- so this actually checks out. although AFO most likely beat manners into him, he would do everything in his power to rebel against that whenever he could. another reason why things like his room being dirty, his (i don't really hc often, but some ppl do) lack of hygiene, his attitude, and his vocabulary make sense for him and his upbringing.

as far as being a giver/receiver, i think he wouldn't gaf either way but if his partner had the kink, it wouldn't change him one bit. he'd be gross around them regardless, so it's a win for both of them.

other body stuff?: not really, 4/10 if i'm being unspecific

if anything, yeah he would probably dabble in stuff like the aforementioned, but mostly in passing. he might get off to the occasional "combo" porn of like, watersports/drunk or intox/eructo stuff but that's once in a blue moon prob. he may have went through a phase with it though, just to experiment. he gets bored easily.

breeding: depends, 6/10

yk what, hell yeah?

i don't think he wants specifically to impregnate his partner BUT he loves to cum inside. he sees it as a way to "mark his territory", plus he's a glutton for filling up his partner over and over and watching it spill out.

while he's inside though, he'll definitely say shit to give his partner a quick "scare". stuff like, "gonna fill you up", "gonna breed you", "gonna make you mine", etc. strap in bitches. he's possessive. (heart eyes)

side note: he's super into anything bukkake, creampies, facials, etc. he loves making a mess.

musk/sweat: 7/10 for specific reasons tbh

this is gonna sound weird but yeah! the reasoning behind this one is a bit more wholesome, actually- but he just loves the scent of his partner. he associates it with being comfortable and loved.

he's not an armpit licker or anything, but he definitely loves anything regarding his partner/their natural state. in the morning, he'd cling and just sniff their hair, saying how good they smell, etc. he gets warm thinking about it.

he also fucking loves the smell of sex. like, when he's finished with his partner, he loves the smell of them on his body and will let it hang heavy in the air for a bit before actually letting himself or his lover shower.

he's seen porn on armpits and knows it's actually kinda common, but he just doesn't fuck with it like that. but yeah, if his s/o comes home from a mission dirty and sweating and a little bloody, oh he'll make sure they're nice and clean when he's done with them. mhm.

okay. mic drop. thank u for the ask this one was fun to look into

[gazing-at-my-stage]

hi question feel free to ignore if this is weird or anything but howd u find out that ur fictionkin and like whats it feel like

cuz most of the time i dont feel like im a human or anything (some of that could be self esteem issues but i think pretty highly of myself so probably not) and usually i just feel more like a character than a human?? if that makes sense???

idk im js a bit confused and u seem cool so i thought i'd ask u

-- m

I am indeed very cool, thank you for asking!

Firstly, I must emphasize one thing: it is perfectly fine to be wrong. If you believe you are fictionkin, identify as such, and realize out later down the line that you were wrong, that is fine. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We all make mistakes.

I figured out I wasn't human before I figured out I was fictionkin (specifically that I was a ghost), so that was pretty neat. I ended up indulging in kff, like making jokes with friends about how "I totally kin x character!" and taking those silly "who do you kin?" quizzes on quotev and uquiz. I don't really remember how I actually figured it out, but somewhere along the lines I began to genuinely identify as a couple of characters and even used one of their names for awhile. I think part of it came from being very close to the host of a fictive-heavy system and them also discovering their kin identities that encouraged me to look into it.

I'd like to note: my identity as nonhuman (including being fictionkin) is heavily, if not solely due to me having MaDD. Fiction and reality are equal in my mind and I spend the same amount of time in both, an invested in both just as much as the other, etc you get the idea. I recently discovered a pattern with my daydreams in the regard that I subconsciously daydream about my 'types in scenarios with my f/os and other characters I really care about even before I realize they're a 'type, which has helped a lot but obviously isn't applicable to everyone. For this reason, I am a psychological nonhuman.

Back on topic (sorry my ADHD got the best of me)! Firstly, not feeling that you are human is a pretty good start to being alterhuman! If you feel like a character, you may very well be. However, it's just like sexuality and gender identity: I can't tell you if you are or not, only you can. It sounds pretty possible for you.

Being fictionkin feels...slightly odd but not that much. I'm me, but "me" happens to be like a dozen different fictional characters. For some 'types, I just looked at them and went "ME!" and boom, there was my answer. For others, it took (and is still taking, in some cases) lots of contemplation and experimentation. Do you feel comfortable being referred to as the fictional character you are kinsidering? Do you look at source and think "that's me!" Do you feel a connection to any other source characters? If your answer to any of these was yes, your chances are good. If you said no, your chances are still pretty good because the fictionkin experience is unique to each individual.

I experience kin shifts with some of my stronger kintypes, but not everyone does. It comes in subtle ways, such as referring to Shu as oshi-san subconsciously when I'm Mika shifted, suddenly loving myself when I'm Kaname shifted or Hiyori (cameo) shifted, and more! Again, this is not a universal experience, and really, there aren't any qualifications to being fictionkin besides...well, identifying as a fictional character.

Even if you aren't fictionkin, there are other possibilities! What are these possibilities, you might ask? Well, allow me to list them below!

Fictionkin - identifying as / being a fictional character

Fictionhearted - identifying with / relating to a fictional character

You'll notice the simple difference between these two. Both involve a strong connection to a fictional character, but one is being that character while the other is heavily relating to the character andor their experiences. It's easy to get the two mixed up, but it boils down to whether you are the character, or whether you are connected to the character.

But wait, there's more!

Otherlink - voluntarily choosing to "link" (aka identify as)

Copinglink - otherlink, but the reason is specifically as a way to cope (this is still a voluntary experience)

Note: otherlink, and by extension copinglink, are voluntary identities, meaning they are chosen. If you choose your identity, it is a linktype and not a kintype. Also, otherlink and copinglink are general terms not specific to fictional characters, so they could apply to identifying as an animal, plant, concept, song, etc literally any kin identity if it is chosen.

Fictionflicker - temporarily (and often frequently) identifying as a character, but not all the time

Paratype - a kin identity directly caused by another kin identity (for example: having Draculara as a kintype, but solely due to being vampirekin)

Cameotype - not a kintype, but is still a part of one's identity in some way (most often, this comes in the form of "cameo shifts", where someone experiences a shift of an animal/character/concept/etc literally anything else that is not a kintype. For example: experiencing Draculara shifts but not identifying as Draculara in any capacity)

There is so, so much more to all of this, but I hope this can help! If you have more questions, feel free to ask me! You can also look through tags just to get a general feel of things, that has helped me a lot!

[suitablysolemn]

which is to say like. obviously i dont owe anyone an explanation for who or what i am. i dont have to defend my life choices to strangers on the internet. i really don't care what other people think of me that much and debating over the technicalities is not worth my time. again, maybe thats a privileged thing to say--im in a position where i dont HAVE to defend my reasons for calling myself whatever i do. im in a position where i dont HAVE to care what other people are saying about me or the types of people i identify with. i'm not, like, being called a pedo and a pervert like trans women are, for example (not that im incredibly public about my gender identity in the first place, which probably helps me stay unassociated with, like, Negative Stereotypes(tm)).

but aside from my own personal opinion and my own takes on my identity and online experience.....man. the discourse i see, on the odd chance it is on my feed???? man ive just been down a deranged rabbit hole. literally nothing matters this much. it's not that deep. it's going to sound patronizing but i'm going to say it anyway: go talk to some real people. go "touch grass," as it were. i'm keeping this vague to avoid like Revealing Identities or anything like that but i cannot fathom either having such an extreme opinion about something OR feeling the need to personally attack someone because of having said opinion. and again maybe thats a privileged thing to say, i dont have to have extreme opinions because i havent been, like, harassed or abused because of my gender identity or my Trans Experience. i havent been driven to such extremes, i guess. im sure those people didnt arrive at said opinions by choice. we're marginalized people. im sure they were backed into a corner where there was nothing left to do but defend themselves or be squashed completely.

but it's just so, like. you dont have to Say That. i don't know. im trying not to be a complete asshole about this (i accept that i am a little bit of an asshole) and my memory of the specifics is already gone due to memory problems but just like.....i don't know, man. the internet has made it so easy to harass people and so easy for every little tiny opinion that's shared to be brought to the public eye, and scrutinized, and people are going to take advantage of that, both for good and bad purposes. i cant say things like "no one cares" or "no one is affected by that" because it's obviously untrue--SOMEONE had to be affected by it for the opinion to surface in the first place, and it circulated because it resonated with many other people. but the like. i don't know. the getting down to brass tacks of it all. love each other, okay? sometimes people are going to make general statements about certain identities that may not specifically apply to you but you don't have to be a jerk about it either. sometimes u just gotta let shit go. (and sometimes you DONT have to just let it go--if cis people are saying making general statements about how "all trans women are predators" you DONT have to just sit there and take that--but i'm talking about people within our community, people who use the same labels, nitpicking others' statements because there's something they slightly disagree with. with love, it's not that deep.

tl;dr i'm glad i deliberately curate an online space with as little discourse as possible for myself because i would be both out of my mind and absolutely miserable if i spent half as much time dealing with deranged takes as i see some other people doing.

this is probably a privileged ass thing to say but holy shit i am so glad i dont go to discourse. it crosses my dash once in a blue moon but i try to keep it out of my life whenever possible, and whenever it DOES show up, i remember that i do that with good fucking reason. because holy shit.

[bearsgrove]

✨ oc tag game wahoooo! ✨

aight so here's the tag game i wasn't tagged in but wanted to do and @gwynbleidd and @graveyaird convinced me that i should 😔 along with u two i tag @werecanidae and @sylkana and anyone else who feels like doing this 🐏

favourite oc - ok thats a very difficult and unfair question, i love all of them so so much, they all mean a lot to me for different reas– ravell. its a toss between ravell and kaz tbh but. ravell. ravell means Everything to me.

newest oc - probably avery? whom i dont talk about a whole lot because they are from the [redacted] Duology 🙃. if we consider an oc from 2 and a half years ago new lmao. listen, i havent been making new ocs much, i just had a period of time when i made a bunch. so avery is a very rare exception of a new oc. im honestly surprised she sort of.. stuck around and i genuinely love her a lot. she was made out of the need to play as a new h*wke because ive been playing as the same one since the dawn of time. she gave my game experience a much needed fresh air and some nuance too.

oldest oc - ravell. or the version of. ravell in sk/rim was very much based on an already existing original character and those two characters still somehow intertwine to this day. there are subtle differences but they are more or less the same person. but when it comes to ocs i talked about on here, which are usually just ocs for this or that game, excluding any original story ones then yeah its ravell.

meanest oc - lyrhis? i know i still present her on here as a dos2 oc but she is an original story oc and i only put her in dos2 because 1) it felt like it would fit her 2) she is important to me and i wanted to be able to still talk about her on here without feeling like she doesnt fit in because she isnt from a game lol. i think her being "mean" is more about her being generally very otherwordly, inhuman and therefore aloof - which can get interpreted as mean i guess - because her perception of things is very different. calling her "mean" even feels weird because that word implies this sort of.. human meanness, spitefulness, generally being malicious for some reason. if anything calling her "mean" is maybe an understatement. she is just kinda cold-blooded, cruel, ruthless. ok you know who is actually a mean oc. evan. he is the opposite of what i just said about lyrhis. he isnt cruel or cold-blooded, but he is spiteful, malicious and can cause a lot of harm with only his words and need for revenge or simple spite. i think that to be mean one still has to be human, its a human trait. and he is human, there is a reason for why he is like that. lyrhis isnt human in the first place.

softest - hera 😔 literally my only normal oc. and she spends a lot of time in the sewers, talks to her rats and overall is a bit Odd but. she is the least evil out of my ocs and carries the least amount of baggage lmao. sure she has been through shit but she is the only oc that turned out "fine" after her personal trauma. but other than that she is very compassionate, considerate and has a strong moral code

most aloof/standoffish - well idk. its a toss between lyrhis i guess for reasons i already mentioned and then wren. which is quite a difference lmao. those two come to mind first but then also ravell, ives and avery. eh, most of my ocs probably seem standoffish, its one of their most common traits. but in conclusion i would say wren? if only because wren is actually a lot like hera, my other more or less only normal oc with an actual moral code and someone who has other people's interests and feelings in mind. but unlike hera wren outwardly appears very cold and most people would describe them as aloof. they are simply distant and keep to themselves but definitely are not internally aloof, they feel a lot, they simply don't show it. but the aloofness of others (ravell, ives, avery…) definitely comes from a lack of emotional intelligence as well as simply being a reserved bunch in general

dumbest oc - probably ravell :( if we compare their general Knowledge about things with my other ocs they are definitely the dumbest. but they are not Stupid. i think them being dumb can just be summed up into them not Knowing many Things and acting/speaking without thinking. they dont do much thinking. which can lead to them making mistakes because they most often act on impulse. they are rational, they can be very smart and cunning, but also they do strike me as the dumbest of my ocs sometimes

smartest oc - hmmm. cant decide between lyrhis, evan, nate and kaz. leaning towards kaz fsr, even though outwardly he would appear as the dumbest out of this group. but i think the other 3 while being smart are also just generally very learned and academically smart. but kaz has that natural smartness about him. idk how to explain my brain power ran out half way into this tag game ngl

horniest - evan.

oc you'd bang - hmmmmm i cant decide between "all of them" and "none of them". like. i know most of them are very hot and right up my alley (i mean I made them) but at the same time. they have way too many similarities with me for me to be able to comfortably say that i would fuck them lmao. i know who i wouldnt tho 100%- ravell. i think over the years they became too much of their own person. like ravell is real to me ok. and i respect them too much as a person to say something like that lol. ok well. i just realized something. i change my statement to "all of my ocs that are women". i figured out why i didnt feel comfortable saying "all of them" lmao. because not all of them identify as women!

oc you'd be best friends with irl - kaz. kaz has unironically been my best friend for as long as i can remember. i think that even when i was making him at the back of my mind i would think "ok who do i need? thats who this character is" and back then i needed a friend! as cringe as it is. one good friend. who would be just my person. and no one else's. ok my abandonment issues are showing again and recently i'm noticing way too many past signs and patterns

[gaymikelesbianel]

HERE'S SOME OLDER PARTY HEADCANONS TO BLESS UR ASKS.

(this is in a alternate dimension where el doesn't sacrifice herself to close the gate to the upside down LMAO 😭)

1: LUMAX

Lucas is a BASKETBALL COACH (argue with the WALL) and Max is his hot MILF wife and she's probably a hockey (or soccer, or volleyball or even baseball) coach for the same school he coaches at (I literally don't really even know why but I just FEEL the energy with her yk?) and they both live in CALIFORNIA together and NOBODY can change my mind. (P.S THEY ALSO HAVE TWO KIDS)

2: EL.

El works at a HAIR SALON. (argue with ur mother on this one look Ik she's gonna die in season 5 but LET ME BE HAPPY FOR ONCE, LET ME LIVE MY FANTASY) and she's literally the NICEST barber EVER and she's rlly good at her job and she lives in a apartment in Chicago or New York or some city and she has TWO CATS called MITTENS and DAISY and they are literally like her children, like she'd commit ATROCITIES for those Cats. she has a CRUSH on her neighbor called Stephanie and she literally CANNOT get the courage up to talk to her, she loves fashion, and she has a CURATED jewelry collection. but she has such a GRANDMA sense of style yk? like after El experiments with her style and everything it is STRAIGHT to the the Long knitted cardigans and Long maxi skirts and her hand knitted crochet hats and scarves and flowy long sleeve dresses.

also El hand-knitted STOCKINGS for Max and Lucas on Christmas Eve and she also made little booties for Lucas and Max's Kids and it was the most ADORABLE thing EVER I swear to GOD- 😭

3: DUZIE.

Dustin is a full-fledged SCIENTIST, he's your odd and quirky college lab professor who's a little bizarre sometimes but is actually pretty cool and funny, him and Suzie teach at the same college (AWWW) and they actually have a lot of kids (don't ask me why those are just the vibes) and they are literally all like Dustin which annoys Suzie but in like a fondness kinda way, all of his kids are eccentric and really bright, and yk that Dad thing where they hold their kids upside down by the legs and spin them around the air like a monkey? yeah Dustin does that and it totally freaks Suzie out LMAO, their Family is literally so LOVING and PERFECT and SWEET that it makes me wanna CRY 😭 😭 😭 DUZIE IS THE BEST FR.

WAIT SHUT UP I JUST REALIZED.

BECAUSE SUZIE IS MARRIED TO DUSTIN THAT WOULD MAKE HER-

✨SUZIE HENDERSON✨

SHUT UPPPPPPPP 😭😭😭

AND LIKE-

DUSTINS FAMILY WOULD BE THE ✨HENDERSON FAMILY✨

UGHHHHHH SHUT UP THEY ARE LITERALLY SO PERFECT 🤧😭

(I wish I could write about Byler but I have SO MANY THOUGHTS ON THEM THAT I'D EXCEED THE CHARACTER LIMIT)

(whatever I'll just simplify it ig 😭)

4: BYLER

Byler get's married (I really do feel as if they would want to get married) Byler are literally the best uncles, Mike is a WRITER (and no he's not a fucking bowling alley worker my boy deserves BETTER than that) like he writes Fantasy Books and shit and Will is still a Artist and a REALLY GOOD ONE at that, and I don't care WHERE they live AS LONG AS IT'S NOT HAWKINS. like I literally couldn't bear to see them STILL LIVING in that hell-hole 😭 also we literally all know that Mike is SHIT at cooking and Will is GREAT at it.

5: THE PARTY IN GENERAL

The Party visits each other every sholiday and they have a jolly good time 😊

THAT'S IT HOPE U ENJOYED THEM BYLERS WEDDING IS NEXT.

OH MY GOD I LOVED THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO ANSWER😭

i completely see the vision for duzie omg especially dustin that’s so cute jfjejfjejd and YES MIKE BEING A WRITER! YES!

el having a crush on her neighbor stephanie is so cute jdjejdj pls you need to write aged up fan fics of all members of the party it’s so cute😭

PLEASE DO SEND THE BYLER WEDDING ILL TRY MY BEST TO NOT TAKE AS LONG TO ANSWER😭😭 <3

[vyvesvi]

i don't mean to annoy by being in your inbox every time ytsn breathes but any thoughts on we are young and super a warning ahead?

omg i’m never annoyed by this stuff, esp bc i usually don’t get to talk about them much!

let’s see... (warning: i tried to stay positive but failed. also this got long afff no pressure to read all of it lmfao)

we are young - controversial opinion: this is their best concept (to me in this moment, i could decide something else tomorrow lmao). the choreo isn’t bad and the song is catchy, even though the production quality of the studio version leaves a bit to be desired (it sounds tinny and not super full to me?). my main disappointment is with the live stage (...this is becoming a trend) where they messed up...kinda a lot. i feel like mistakes are normal but the ones they made were just incredibly noticeable and it’s telling to me that the camera angles couldn’t really hide them. the styling was awful for the most part but the concept was cute and i feel like zy is a lot more comfortable with long hair tbh.

super a warning ahead - i actually really enjoy the song! i think the way that they draw out some of the lines sounds a bit odd but the production and everything is much better than we are young. the reason why i put we are young above this one is because of the concept idea is general. like this song...doesn’t really go anywhere? like its...sweet? but not really interesting. the styling is sooooo much better, but the choreo is pretty boring, very give and take. I don’t mind a simple point dance because they have the potential to be iconic, memorable, and easily imitated, but the rest of the dance could’ve been a lot more interesting. but then again, they weren’t in sync in the dance performance video so like...idk. i feel like live performances are one thing, but prerecorded content should theoretically be better because they can do it in multiple takes? i don’t want to judge them *too* much but that is one are where i think they have been struggling (and i didn’t really expect it at all?)

so nothing that’s gonna make me unstan but it’s clear to me that their preparations were rushed. i wish they would like. take a month or two to regroup. i don’t want them gone for that long but if these are the performances that we’re getting on their current preparations i think it’d be for the best.

i also don’t think they’re making use of their strong vocalists (xilin, wyj, znx, and czx). like 4/7 are main vocal material and they could be doing a lot more with that. of course the issue is that the remaining members aren’t really comfortable with rapping and are (comparatively) weak singers, but they don’t make use of xiening or yifan’s dance abilities well either. i’ve said this before (and i’ll try not to hammer it in too much because it’s a pretty biased opinion) but watching zy do dance breaks with or after xiening is like...tragic. like idky they’re setting her up so bad but they need to stop TTTT

as a group they also kinda lack stage presence together. like individually most of them have pretty solid presence but idk what happens when they’re together bc they don’t really sync up?

//edit: okay at this point i decided that i was maybe being too harsh so i started analyzing the debut stages and mvs for rocket girls/hjsn and the9. it didn’t help and ended up being a ramble so feel free to skip lmfao

ytsn & hjsn: bc hjsn debuted with 8 members (minus already debuted meiqi and xuanyi & main vocal zining) and not their full 11 they’re kinda comparable to ytsn as they are now. while ytsn’s styling is somehow better, hjsn’s sync and energy, even taking into account their members who aren’t great dancers, is kind of on a different level (partially biased though, despite that fact that i’m not fully a stan they’re my number one pick for most balanced gg of all time). i’m going to guess that even though they’re produced by the same company that their teams and company philosophy regarding management is completely different. the choreo quality is quite different and ytsn seems to favor debut rank a lot more. of course, meiqi and xuanyi were featured very prominently when they came back but the formations weren’t as stagnant as ytsn’s seem as of now? both groups are similar in that their main dancers (mengjie and xiening) ranked relatively low and therefore didn’t get to show their full ability very often. also an important difference between hjsn and ytsn is that hjsn’s main rapper is kind of legendary and was well known for her ability before the show so. there’s not really a comparison there (for the record though, i like curely’s rapping i just think 1.) it’s a waste given her vocal ability and 2.) she hasn’t been given really long verses because while she has talent she’s not “a rapper” in the typical way).

the9 & hjsn: idk if u watched qcyn2 but i decided to watch a bit of it since i thought it was kinda interesting that the two final groups would be debuting at the same time. to compare the two...ytsn’s vocals are stronger and i think that’s generally accepted as fact. like yuyan is really good but they put so much pressure on her (personally i think anqi and shaking could share the burden but idk). other than that everyone else is a subvocal and/or rapper, so by default the9 wins the rap category. oddly enough, because there are so many rappers they can’t have those longer satisfying verses because they have to share the lines, which impacts their....impact for lack of a better word. there’s kinda no other way to do it without everything being super uneven so i get it though. that leaves dance and stage presence. i think that individually anqi and xiening eat everyone else alive, but comparing group to group...the9 wins for their sync alone, but notably ytsn has performed more and have one more song with choreo. i don’t know i would say that they’re super uneven in presence, but i do feel that because of the number of members with previous stage experience in the9, they are more comfortable performing. 

for fun i once took the 16 members of the9 and ytsn and redistributed them into more balanced lineups of 8

team one:

yuxin - vocal, lead dancer 2, sub rapper 1

anqi - lead vocal, main dancer

yuyan - main vocal 2

keyin - main rapper

keran - lead rapper

curley - main vocal 1

yifan - vocal, lead dancer 1

zhaoyue - vocal, lead dancer 3, sub rappper 2

team two:

yijin - main vocal 2

zhuoxuan - main vocal 1

xiening - main dancer, sub vocal 2

nene - lead vocal 1

xueer - sub rapper, lead dancer 1

esther - sub vocal 1

jiaqi - main rapper, lead dancer 2

xiaotang - lead rapper

i lowkey stacked the first team with both centers, anqi, and keyin but whatever

anyways based on how i feel about the other debuts i kinda think im being mostly fair to ytsn? especially because i think they’ll grow a lot as a group over the next two years. i’d be a lot more concerned about their vocals if that was the problem because that’d be the hardest thing to fix but they don’t have to worry about that!

anyways i’m gonna cut myself off here because this has turned into...a lot but if you have thoughts definitely share them, i’d love to hear!!!

[megatraven]

Dream Anon: I'm sorry, I think I phrased some things poorly. I meant to turn the dream you were uncomfortable with into an ace positivity thing you could feel better about, but my input was not requested and I didn't have the right to pick apart this personal experience you had. I wasn't thinking. I don't know what your reaction to it was/will be, but I still apologize for prying where I shouldn't.

frgefrg its ok u dont have to apologize lol. i appreciate u trying to spin it into something positive, really! and i don’t exactly mind when people try to interpret them, i can usually just figure out any deeper meanings by thinkin about it myself haha

in this particular case, tho, and the reason why i struggled w answering ur asks is that you missed the mark with me a little in that i don’t really have any fears regarding my asexuality. im out as ace to my family and came out on facebook a few years ago so the people ik irl that matter already know it. i dont have any hangups with it, i dont feel alone or like i’m the odd one out or anything like that! and i never have! :) 

so to reiterate, u r fine my friend, i just think this particular dream was surface-level fear of zombie stuff w/ no deeper meaning than that

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

⭐🥀TRIGGER WARNING!!

Introducing Last Night At 3AM. I Lost Control. Yet Another Breakdown, I Had about 30 breakdowns. No pity sympathy or attention. && NO I WAS NOT ON DRUGS! I'm over 1 year sober. Alvaro took over (one of my demons/alters) && Dancing Fire (another one) possessed me to the point I almost got a cop call. I don't wanna be a burden &: I wanna save fix care support be there for everyone and everything. I'm sick of being alive. But I can't do anything stupid cuz of me getting concerved to a state institution (which is way different than a mental hospital) cuz I've been in 215 mental hospitals & got diagnosed Critically/Clinically Insane plus over 10+ mental hospitals. All I have is my mom. The breakdowns the vivid flashbacks the mental illnesses getting 10x worse. No treatment will take me cuz I've been to all of them to many times. I can't process anything. My mind imprisons me. I dissociate 89 to 99% of the day. I've been thru every single sorts of treatments/medication I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018. I'm losing my mind. And everyday it's the same thing and people get tired of hearing it.I'm so done with dealing with this everyday. I don't need sympathy. I just don't know man. My mom&& lil brother doesn't want me home, I can't explain what's wrong or going on. I don't wanna be a burden. I'm sorry man. I wanted to self harm again but I didn't. Imagine all my mental illnesses multiplied by 10. Imagine EVERYDAY HAVING VIVID FLASHBACKS AND 22+ Mental Breakdowns a day. I.am sorry if I'm negative. I'm sorry. I just wanna save and fix the world. When people ask me "how are u" idk how much reply. I'm sick of my mind. I feel like darkness is controlling me. I pray A LOT. Alvaro literally possesses me and gets in my body. I have mostly every mental health diagnosis there is. And NO I'M NOT PROUD OF IT I'M NOT BRAGGING OR GLORIFYING It. I just wanna help everyone and everything. Along the my mental health, I have autism, narcolepsy anorexia Etc. My diagnosis list is so long and I don't wanna be known for that. I can't even leave my house. When ever I feel a lil bit better, here comes Alvaro. But again I don't wanna be a burden. It's my job to be there for everyone else NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I can't take this anymore. No pity sympathy or attention. I can't seek help cuz then they'll send me to a institution cuz I've been in to many mental hospitals. I'm doing the best I can. But I'm about to snap. I can't function. And I'm getting worse. I don't want attention I want to be OK. I've dealt with all this hell most of my life. It's hard to explain. On top of that. My physical state is getting worse. I'm finding more reasons to die than to live. I'm over 1 year sober. I'm a huge hypocrite when it comes out taking my own advice. I don't love myself. But i am over caring sensitive and I help obsessively. I repeat myself idk I'm just not OK. I'm losing contact with reality. I'm scared to keep going. But I got this.🥀⭐

🥀⭐Your Enough

Your Worth It.

Your Life Has Purpose

This To Shall Pass

Im here for all y'all in anyway I possibly can.

I'm sorry if I'm annoying. I'm sorry

Stay Strong && Keep Breathing ⭐🥀

🌙🌙🔥🔥🖤🖤🥀🥀HUGE TRIGGER WARNING🥀🥀🖤🖤🔥🔥🌙🌙

🥀🥀🔥🔥Hey my name is Izzy && I'm a recovering drug addict && alcoholic with over 1 year sober. This is the longest I've been sober being out of treatment. I've used mostly every drug there is. Being homeless 13 times. In 215 mental hospitals. In 3 foster homes (2 out of 3 were abusive) group homes, unlocked and locked treatment centers, rehabs shelters, crisis centers. Short and long term treatment centers. Which none will take me back cuz I've been there to many times. I've sold myself && got tortured abused raped drugged up for drugs and money to raise my unbio son, Anthony. I lost custody cuz of false accusations. I've had multiple near death experiences (some were suicide attempts && some were naturally done) my drug of choice was meth. I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018, over 10+ mental illnesses. Some were caused from a few bad trips on PCP that I never came back from. I was sleeping anywhere I could rest my head, I had to be alert at all times. Tbh I havent been to a meeting in awhile. My sponsor is like family to me. I'm redoing all my steps. I'm on step 2. I've lost a shit ton of people to drugs and I was literally getting cop calls everyday. Drugs messed with my life. And having this much clean time is amazing. Most of my life I've gotten abused raped, literally tortured and drugged up. Sold. Prostituted, almost killed. But no pity sympathy or attention pls. Any clean time is good time. And I'm proud of all of you in recovery drug addiction is a special kinda hell. Drugs become your priority and your best friend. I got tortured on the daily by people coming in one by one torturing me from orders from Kimberly (my ex fiance who hung herself in front of me) it was one by one. I got so caught on in drugs that it was the only way I knew. I used to numb the pain. I'm so blessed I found God again. Now I have 22+ mental breakdowns a day every day. I found out it had a lot to do with my drug use.🔥🔥🥀🥀

🥀🖤Thank you for breathing even when u wanted to die. Drugs kill you. There's nothing about it to be proud of its serious. You Matter Yo Important Yo A Someone Yo Enough Yo Worth It Yo Have A Purpose, Yo Have A Story, A Message, A Voice, A Reason, Yo A Warrior, A Soldier, A Survivor, A Fighter. You Are U && NoOne Can Be You, But YOU. Your Life Matters YOU MATTER, Yo Life Has Value &% I'm Glad Your Alive. Thank U For Being Alive. People say that I help everyone and everything obsessively && I don't stop. It's very true. This is a shout out to my unbio son that I raised as my own, Anthony Castillo-Martinez, I met him at one of the many abusive foster homes. Where it was owned illegally by Andrea/Angela && Jimmy Miller. We got tortured daily. They were not licensed foster parents. I met Lil Toni there and I escaped with him to meet up with Kimberly. We lived in a run down hotel in LA. I became homeless again. Toni got me through so much and even tho I can't find him (he's been gone for years) your my lil baby. I will always love u. U are my world and one day I hope to see u again. I hope you have a good home now. Going to school. Just doing well in general. And I'm sorry for you witnessing what Kimberly was doing to me. I love u babes with all my heart. 🖤🥀

🖤🔥🥀I failed Cedar House twice. This was a rehab in San Bernardino, California. I lied my way out. And I regret it. Funny thing is I already read the entire NA Basic Text && The AA Big Book. I have multiple sobriety apps on my phone and I have an app that that has NA && AA Speakers on it. I'm reading the How && Why and I'm so proud of myself && I couldn't have got this far without my sponsor, Jaclyn. She understands me better than any sponsor I've had in recovery. Here's a list of my mental disorders, some were caused Or made worse by drugs and alcohol🥀🔥🖤

🌙🔥🔥Schizo-Affective, Bipolar

ADHD, OLD, ODD,

PTSD, Insomnia

Depression, Anorexia

Anxiety, Autism

Borderline Personality Disorder

Severe Brain Damage

Attachment Disorder

Dissociative Identity Fund..

Multiple Personality Disorder

Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane🔥🔥🌙

🖤🥀Listen I don't need your pity, sympathy or attention these were all diagnosed by over 5 psychiatrists, and diagnosed "Insane" by over 10 doctors. DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE!!!! Anyways. I attempted suicide over 100 times. Self harmed in anyway possible. They say I'm the most high maintenance case in the system of California. And the next time I go to a mental hospital I'm getting sent to a state institution. I would do anything to get drugs. Jeremy && Izzie Baraz were my street partners. They both passed away. All I have left in blood family is my mom and brother. My mom. Says if I pick up drugs one more time I'm never aloud back in her house. My dad injected me with meth and heroin at age 9, he also tortured me daily. He passed away in 2011. I'm glad he's dead. But I take full responsibility for my drug and alcohol habits. And I hope I never go back. One Day At A Time.🥀🖤

🔥🥀This To Shall Pass, If Not Today There's Always Tomorrow

God, Grant Me The Serenity

To Accept The Things I Cannot Change

The Courage To Change The Things I Can. &&

The Wisdom To Know The Difference

Amen🥀🔥

🔥🔥Keep Coming Back It Works If You Work It🔥🔥

🔥🔥A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still

Suffers, In And Out Of These Rooms🔥🔥

🔥🔥Staying Clean, Im Never Going Back🔥🔥

🥀🖤I almost relapsed again on New Year's. I almost asked a stranger to buy me Vodka. But God told me to stop.

I'm Always Here 4 All Of You, No matter What.

I'd Do Anything To Keep Y'all Alive && Breathing. To Make U OK. to Save && Fix U && Take Your Pain Away. I Love Y'all. Keep Coming Back.🖤🥀