#Drawing myself as the protags is just too silly

[snowfianna]

Finished GoW3 again in two days. This was a sketch after Day 1, killing Hermes, because I get really excited once I remember what happens as it's about to go down.

I love Greek mythology and the Gods, but I also enjoy demolishing the pantheon and bringing about chaos and ruin!!!

[charbon-et-feu]

I got this ask on my art blog within minutes of posting that Hoenn boys bunny art so I'm pretty sure that's what prompted it. I don't want to clutter my art blog with this nonsense, so I'm not going to answer it there, but I do want to dissect it a little bit.

"You're not even trying to age him up or anything"

It's fascinating (and sometimes a little concerning) to get a glimpse of what people's standards are for what makes a fictional character look like an adult. I can usually see where people are coming from when they assume that a character is young based on their appearance, but it's annoying when people confidently say that a character must be a child if they're drawn a certain way, and then go on to assume the worst of an artist if they draw something a little spicy. It's already difficult to guess most people's ages irl, so it's silly to think you can reliably guess the age of a fictional character drawn in an anime/cartoon style.

People come in all shapes and sizes. People from some East Asian countries tend to be shorter and younger looking, and then you have people from Scandinavian countries who are typically super tall. Idk where anon is from, but a lot of the people who like to fuss over the ages of fictional characters are from the US. This is crazy to me because the US is such a diverse melting pot, so you would think that someone living here would understand that there's no one-size-fits-all definition for what an adult looks like.

And none of this even really matters when you're talking about fictional characters. They're not real. They're objects, dolls that we play dress up with and smush together and use to tell stories. We throw them on a stage to entertain us. Sometimes, it's heartwarming or funny or sad, and, sometimes, it makes us uncomfortable. Oftentimes, we put them through hell, but no matter what, they can't hurt us, and we can't hurt them. So, it's a safe way to explore our ideas and try to understand ourselves and our world a little better.

It's so strange when people judge someone based only on what they enjoy in fiction and art. It really doesn't matter how I draw Brendan or any other character, so I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing. But I do want to try to dig into why anon thinks that I'm not aging up Brendan at all, because I think it's interesting to analyze and try to understand the thought process behind comments like these. Feel free to take this next bit of rambling with a grain of salt. I'm mostly just speculating based off anon's ask and similar arguments that I've observed from people who try to argue that a character looks too young to be an adult.

For reference, here's the art that (most likely) prompted the ask:

When I draw Brendan, I'm usually going for older teen/young adult. I did make him a little skinnier than I would have liked here, but he still looks like he could be anywhere from a teen to a baby-faced adult. So why does anon see a child?

I'm guessing one of the main reasons is that Brendan is short. And since Wallace is super tall, it makes Brendan look even smaller. Most of the characters don't have canon heights, but I've seen people estimate Wallace's height at a little over 6'(183cm) by comparing character models in Pokemon Masters, and Steven is a few inches shorter than Wallace. I go with 6'2"(188cm) for Wallace and 5'11"(180cm) for Steven. I think most of the protags are under 5'(152cm), but I make Brendan at least 5'5"(165cm). Even with the extra inches, Wallace still makes him look small lol. Here's a little chart I made for myself a while ago so you can see what I mean.

Could I make Brendan taller? I guess I could, but I'm not going to. The height difference is part of the appeal for me. It's fun to draw, and with certain poses, it can be an interesting challenge. Also, short men exist, and they're valid.

I'm guessing the other reason anon sees Brendan as a child is because I drew him pretty cutesy and baby-faced compared to Steven and Wallace. In the bunny pic, Brendan's bashful expression and somewhat feminine pose and outfit also add to the cuteness. I like to keep the somewhat big, rounded eyes from his canon design, but I do the same thing when I draw Akari/Dawn, and I haven't gotten any angry asks about my volokari art. I just like to draw Brendan cute. Is that the problem? Can someone not be perceived as a man if they give off too much cute, feminine energy? Hmm... That kinda smells like toxic masculinity.

I can't help but wonder if anon is letting common stereotypes rooted in traditional patriarchal USAmerican gender norms poison their perception of what a man should look like. "Real" men must be tall, strong, rugged, etc, and if they don't meet those strict standards then they must be either a boy or a woman. (Similarly, women must be short, dainty, soft, have big boobs, etc, but this is about Brendan so we won't get into that.) If you transfer this mindset to stylized art of fictional characters, I can see how anon arrived at their conclusion. But this way of thinking is close-minded and objectively wrong because the average, white USAmerican's view of the world is not universal. What about short, feminine men? Flat chested women? Trans men? Are we not allowed to draw and sexualize these types of characters? Kinda sucks for all the short kings and petite women out there who want to see a character that looks like them get railed by their favorite blorbo of the month. Sorry guys, you must be this tall if you want a fictional character with your body type to be sexualized. No fun allowed.

Maybe I'm wrong and it's not that deep, but this is how ridiculous people sound when they start breaking out the rulers and measuring the art of fictional characters to determine if it fits into their (often inconsistent) standards of what an adult looks like. Now, I do understand that certain types of art can make people uncomfortable, and that's perfectly valid. I also have a certain threshold for when a character starts to look a little too young and I'm no longer comfortable seeing them depicted in certain ways. When I come across art like that, I just unfollow/block/mute and move on. It's not that serious and definitely not a good reason to jump into some random person's inbox to harass them.

Also, I don't want to get into this topic too much (since this is already really long) but I think it's worth noting that these types of comments usually only start popping up when the art has sexual elements to it. Young Shounen Anime protagonists experience varying degrees of violence regularly, but I can't remember the last time I saw someone question the morals of those creators. Why does the pearl clutching only happen when creators try to dive into sexual territory with fictional characters? Just something I wish these people would take the time to think about.

Anyway, anon can think I'm weird if they want, but I think the assumptions they're making say a lot more about them than they do about me. I'm just here to have fun and draw cute anime boys, and Brendan just happens to be my favorite doll rn. I enjoy playing dress up with him, and sometimes that means he's gotta get in the bunny outfit. It's fine. He's having fun. He told me himself.

I didn't mean to ramble this much, and I don't usually like engaging with discourse, but I had some thoughts, and I wanted to get some of them out. I love art. I think creators should be free to make whatever beautiful, weird art they want, so I think it's important to push back against this behavior when we can. But if I get more asks like this, I promise I won't respond to them often.

If you made it to the end, thanks for taking the time to read all that. I don't usually talk much, so when I do, it's nice when people listen. As a reward for your efforts, please accept this unfinished Steven art.

[smalltimidbean]

Hi! I'm Ruben, and this is my art blog! I mostly post silly OCs and original stuff, or whatever I happen to be hyperfixated on at the time! Read on to find out more!

---

About

I am Ruben, but most people call me Bean, and I also go by Ben - so feel free to use any of those names, I'll respond to them all!

I'm 28, Non-Binary, and I use They/Them pronouns. I've been doing art pretty much all my life, and I do it somewhat professionally. I enjoy all types of art, but my mains are drawing and animation - but don't be surprised if there are some crafts or other medias here and there too!

I am autistic, and have severe social anxiety (among other disabilities), so please be patient with me if I take a while to respond, have an under/overreaction to something, or do not understand something right away! I also tend to forget things a lot, so you can always give me a reminder, if it has been a while - just please do not spam me!

I love getting asks about my characters, and AUs, even if I cannot answer them all - I have many askblogs for more specific characters/settings, which are linked below if you wanna check them out!

Please keep in mind that some of my characters are villainous, aggressive or just plain mean, and any actions or responses may be rude, violent or upsetting! When I respond in character, I am just playing a character, and their actions do not reflect me, and should not be taken personally!

DMs I am more hesitant about bc of the mentioned anxiety, so if you wish to DM me, please have a reason to be doing so - I don't tend to respond to just 'hi', and asking for free art will probably end up in a block. I also do not RP at all, so please do not ask.

I tend to vent a lot! I use art as a form of catharsis and to avoid hurting myself irl, so there might randomly be some upsetting content posted, but I do tag these with 'vent tag', and the appropriate CW tags - please see below for them

My art (and characters) is not for free use! So please do not repost, edit, trace my art, and please do not use it in videos/games, or for AI bots/databases. If you see my art somewhere, that I did not approve of, and regardless if it is credited or not, please let me know!

That being said, if you really want to use my art somewhere, please ask first! Usually the use as an icon, or in a silly meme, is fine - just ask first!

I don't do requests for things I am not interested in, and I probably will not draw your OC for free. I do take suggestions for things I am interested in, and might do the occasional art trade with mutuals/friends. I do also take commissions (but my sheet needs a big update, so prices may change soon).

I switch sonas around a lot! Bean is my main one (in a semi-realistic style and a more cartoonish one), but do not be surprised if I am sometimes depicted as a furry or a monster now and then.

These sonas are also both a representation of me, and characters in my stories. I try to define when I am 'in-character' and 'out-of-character', so please keep this in mind when commenting/asking.

Fanart of my characters and AUs is okay, and always appreciated! Please try to represent the characters(s) the best you can, and ask before doing making significant design changes (such as a 'Genderbend' or 'Species Swap' etc). Again, I am forgetful, so if I do not acknowledge it within a week or so, please give me a nudge!

I don't mind minors following, as most of my stuff is SFW, but please keep in mind that I am an adult, and may upload an occasional suggestive post or joke. These are also tagged as needed.

Good golly this is so long, but I think that's it for this part

---

Interests

I am currently mainly into Pizza Tower, and the OCs I have created for it, so that is mostly what you will see at the moment! - I have currently two AUs I am focused on, mainly the one where it's just my interpretation of the game (no name for this one yet), and then my secondary called 'Cheeseshop AU', with Brick the Rat as the protag, and species are swapped! (So Brick is human, Peppino and Gustavo are rats etc)

I also have a lot of original stories, characters and concepts, and will post those too! I tend to jump from idea to idea and back again, so do not mind if I am talking about one genre in one post, and then it completely changes the next post. (Although most are just slice-o-life with fantasy elements)

Other interests are: FNAF (previous hyperfixation, kinda comes and goes and may have occasional posts here), Bugsnax (also a previous hyperfixation, mainly when the game came out but not so much any more), Pokemon (not a hyperfixation, I just think they're neat), and... That's pretty much it, that I can think of! I don't tend to get into fandoms much, and I just focus on one thing for years haha

I am also not really looking for other things to be interested in, so please do not take it personally if I do not look at or get into anything suggested to me.

---

Content Warnings

As mentioned before, I vent a lot, but I also enjoy drawing some body horror or gore for fun, if the mood strikes! These are tagged simply as '[thing]' for blocking purposes, but please let me know if there are tags I have missed!

Common, will not be tagged: Mild Body Horror (things like extra eyes or limbs, or slightly melty people etc), Scars, Foul Language, Depictions of Panic Attacks/Meltdowns, Use of Caps and Glitched/Zalgo text

Uncommon, will be tagged: Eye Strain, Alcohol Use, Smoking (mostly regular cigarettes, but maybe weed too), Partial Nudity (bare chests mostly), Mildly Suggestive Jokes or Imagery, Emetophobia/Vomit, Blood, Violence, Moderate to Severe Body Horror (like excessive amounts of extra eyes or teeth, beings fused together etc), Guns, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Gore, Implied Cannibalism, Implied Death

Rare, will be tagged, and under a read-more cut: Very Suggestive Jokes or Imagery, On Screen Cannibalism, On Screen Death

---

Tags and Other Blogs/Links

My text post/ask tag is 'bean talks too much' and OC tags are 'OC: [OC's name]'. Other tags are for organisation, or just me talking to myself - and I do that a lot.

I am SmallTimidBean pretty much everywhere, although I mainly only post here, my characters to my Toyhou.se or ARPG stuff on my DeviantArt - and I have a Kofi, if you want to send a tip my way! (Not necessary, but very much appreciated if you do!)

I do have a Discord, but I am not comfortable giving it out unless we have interacted at least a few times! If you do find it by chance, please do not just send a friend request, I am unlikely to accept it for my own comfort.

My main blog, and the one that I follow from, is @smalltimidbean-reblogs - mainly just reblogs of art I like, animals or funny posts.

My currently active askblog is @ask-the-totally-real-peppino - an ask blog for Pep (my version of Fake Peppino from Pizza Tower)

I have several other askblogs, and just blogs in general, but I will put them under cut, as most are inactive or plain dead (I just keep them for archival sake, or the rare chance I may return to them)

@ask-the-music-man - Inactive FNAF askblog for Music Man, DJ Music Man and other FNAF characters, might return to it at some point but not right now

@we-bear-wicked-smiles - Inactive FNAF askblog for Nightmare and the other Nightmare animatronics, might also return to it but also not right now

@ask-lionel-ottaviani - Inactive askblog for a monster security guard named Lionel, will probably never return to it bc the group it was a part of disbanded, and I have bad memories with it - however Lionel and his friends show up here and an AU version where he is human feature on the Music Man blog

@bensnax - Inactive Bugsnax blog, was mostly reblogs, but I did intend to post my Grumpus characters there too (I think there's like one post of some of them) - probably will not return any time soon, as Bugsnax is not a major interest right now

@ask-a-genectric - Inactive Pokemon askblog for a Gengar/Manectric hybrid called Lexus, would like to return to it but unlikely

@the-bashful-skuntank - Inactive Pokemon askblog for a Skuntank named Fleur, would also like to return to it but unlikely

@thedailyzangoose - Previously a daily blog for the Pokemon Zangoose, but was revamped into an askblog for a troop of Zangoose characters, inactive and unlikely to return to it

@little-beast-bakery - A suggestion based blog to create little characters for people to adopt, never got off the ground and probably never will

I have a few other blogs that were OC specific askblogs, but I never posted to them, so no reason to link them. I did also have two NSFW blogs that are still technically up, but were nuked after the NSFW ban of 2018 - I am not going to link them for obvious reasons, but if you do somehow find them, keep it to yourself please!

Okay, this is very long, but I think that is it! Thank you for reading if you are down here!

[saywha413]

Heyyy there it’s me!! Name’s Sarah, he/she/they! Bi, ace, demiromantic, genderqueer, and agendary :) pronouns page I primarily blog abt pokemon, but there’s some cookie run, and other things!!

If you know me from discord, then you’ll know abt my silly usernames lol. If you want to call me Arven/Hugh/Felix/Kaeya/Eugene/Rolf go ahead.

also I’m a big oc guy. if you don’t like oc/canon, self insert/canon, or selfshipping please dni. other than that, relatively basic dni! you know who you are

Asks are always open! Feel free to ask me about anything you want!!

(please look through the “keep reading” before interacting!)

i am the mod several blogs! Ones in the same universe will be marked with the same colored emoji !

Pokemon Ask Blogs 💕 @ask-sarah-and-co 💎🎸 (inbox: 22)

Pokemon Irl Blogs 🌸 @arven-x-drayster-4ever🥪🐉 (temp. hiatus)

🌺 @icy-chill ❄️ (eeby/faller, temp. hiatus)

🌷 @pens-and-coins 🔮🪙 (lore blog, temp. hiatus)

🎀 @silvallyandweavile 🌘🪶 (temp. hiatus)

💐 @perrins-portfolio 📸 (temp. hiatus)

🦩 @g-max-wildfire 🎇 (temp. hiatus)

💗 @suckerpunch-n-toxic 🎶 (temp. hiatus)

💧 @glacial-waltzes ❄️ (faller, active)

Daily Drawing Blog (also kinda on hiatus (at least while I work on other stuff)) @sarahs-daily-malewives

Although I’d prefer questions on those blogs specifically, feel free to ask about them here too :)

I have a whole bunch of pokemon ships, so here’s a list (which I update every once in a while)

and if you’re looking for the old pinned (where I drew 12 ships) that’s here :) (individual drawings here)

here’s my old banner! linking to save for myself mostly lol

art tag is #my art writing tag is #my writing

tags relating to my fics: #a flame in the snow #what’s a rapport between friends?

random links: ao3 / artfight / toyhouse / pinterest / pokefarm / flight rising (I am very inactive on pokefarm and flight rising. I only check occasionally)

Interests + favorite /r ships, favorite /p ships, & fave char (if they apply) !

Major! (I talk/think about them a lot)

Pokemon (games + anime (fixated on jn but never finished it, interested in hz but never started it)). just check the ship list linked above (or oc/hugh if that counts). Silver & Hugh & Gladion are so friends to me. Hugh

Cookie run (kingdom). Crunchyvelvet/Velvetchip. Red Velvet and my hc for his cousins, Black Raisin & Crowberry & Prune Juice. Red Velvet

Mythology (specifically Greek, but I like all of them!). Athena

Cats. generally.

Cassette beasts. Eugene/oc. Eugene

Unicorn overlord (I am insane abt this rn). Alain x Rolf x Aubin x Aramis x Ithilion. Alain & Lex. Rolf I think

Minor! (I do post about them, just not as much!)

Octopath traveler 1. Olberus/Eisenbright, Olberic/Erhardt. My current party (H’aanit, Therion, Olberic, Cyrus) is so found family to me (two gay dads and their lesbian daughter/gay son. I LOVE THEM). H’aanit, Therion

Fire emblem (three houses). Felileth/Bylix. Byleth & Black Eagles. Felix

Dislyte. Lufal. Falken

Monster hunter (stories (2)). Alwin/oc. Alwin & Navirou & Protag. Alwin

Dragon quest (xi). Luminerik, Henjasp. Erik

Animal crossing (new horizons). It feels weird to say I have ac ships but I’m a Bianca/Audie and Freya/Fang truther. Raymond

Afk journey. Valen x Merlin/oc ig. Valen

Background! (I like these things, just don’t rlly talk abt them! Feel free to ask abt them though!)

Zelda (botw/totk). Sidlink, Revalink. Link & Zelda Link

Hades game. Thanzag. Zagreus & anyone (I love his silly ahh banter). Zagreus

Stardew valley. Leah x farmer, Sambastian. Leah & Abigail. Leah

Mario. Bowser

The owl house (and the shows you would kinda associate with it? amphibia, the ghost and molly mcgee, she-ra, etc). Goldric/Huntric, Willumity. Luz & Hunter. Luz, Hunter

Encanto. Luisa

Miitopia

riordanverse or whatever it’s called (specifically pjo, hoo, and magnus chase)

Grishaverse (specifically soc duology). The crows. Wesper.

Sims 4

Omori (got into it from a yt playthrough, never played it myself). Heromari

I’m not really into these fandoms, but there’s probably like one ship I really like in there lol

Sonic the hedgehog. Sonuckles, Blazamy. Sonic & Tails & Knuckles. Knuckles

Kingdom hearts. Soriku. Sora & Riku & Kairi. Riku

Disney descendants. Jaylos. Core four

Star vs the forces of evil. Tomco, Janstarkie.

Ace attorney. Wrightworth

Miraculous. I actually hate the show (even though I watched the whole thing (it was like so bad I couldn’t tear my eyes from it)) but alas. I do like Lukadrien and Zoegaminette.

dunmeshi. Labru, kinda also Farcille. (I could watch it. but like. it’s only subbed afaik and I cannot watch anything without eng vas bc I basically just listen to things while I play video games or draw or smth. I do want to watch it though and I might at some point))

if we are besties (read: mutuals), feel free to ask for discord/switch friend code! I have the right to politely decline if I feel we’re not close enough though! (no need to worry though. there’s a good chance I accept)

divider credit: x / x icon/banner/header credit: x pokemon sprites: x

[emiefaunwrites]

Hi! Idk if you take asks, but I’m kinda looking for some writing advice. I’m currently working on a Danganronpa Killing Game AU fic and I’m in the middle of writing the third part of the prologue now. After that will be the first chapter, with a class trial and all that. I’m a little nervous about putting the class trials into writing, do you have any tips? If not, that’s okay!

Heyyyy! Ahh thats so nice of you to come to me for advice 😭😭😭

So I've not written a class trial before - never actually written in the despair universe either since it makes me too sad pahahahaha. But I can try and give you general writing tips that I use! No idea how helpful it'll be and everything...

This first tip really is all dependant on your writing style. If you're more focused on action rather than feeling, then this likely won't work. But if you're a writer that focuses on emotion, then I would say - lean into it. I always try to put myself in the situation: how I would feel, and even if its a weird, silly emotion, who cares? If I'm reading a story and I can put myself into the characters shoes, then that draws me in immediately.

What I tend to do as well is play the scene out like a movie in my head. If I can literally watch the scene over and over again, I can describe it so much better. Although with that, I often get distracted by daydreams in times I really shouldn't be haha!!

I don't know if you're changing up the story and having different victims/killers etc. But again, I tend to write about thoughts and feelings and stuff so my personal approach would be more inclined to go in on the inner turmoil of your protag. It breaks up the heavy dialogue that a visual novel has to have to create action, and also if its the same plot...everyone already knows the outcome. If its different, then dialogue is of course important. But break it up with observations, emotions, thoughts...

Also music. I cannot write without music. I NEED something in the background that reminds me of the scene or emotion I'm trying to portray. I make playlists and stuff (but tend to listen to one song on repeat for hours haaaaa) and whenever I'm not writing and a song comes on and gives me fic-feels, I shove it in there to listen to later.

Lastly, and this is just something my English teachers taught me many moons ago, I try to have at least three sentences per paragraph. Unless it really calls for it, you know? Power of three is my own mantra - three sentences, three descriptions, three emotions. That's just my thing that I find super useful.

Oh (actually lastly!) I always try not to use names too much in the same paragraph (also taught to my by my teachers), I try not to write statically and also I do my best to start sentences with a different word each time. So I wouldn't be like 'Taka did this. Taka did that. Taka said this.' I'd have something like 'Taka did this because meh meh meh. He also decided that meh meh was a good call. In response he replied blah blah'. Really bad example, but hopefully the gist of it is in there somewhere!

Does any of this make sense? Ha no ones asked me for advice before so I'm rambling and I have no idea if there's any logic or useful stuff in here!

If you have any specific questions for a situation, let me know! I just went general vague answers but I'm happy to try and help with more detailed, specific questions if I can!

[raionmimi]

i wanna thank you for your Medb posts. Before, i was so blind; disliking Medb a few years back after i saw her in ch. america. i was like 'nooo what she doing to cu?' But once i found your blog my eyes opened to just how powerful, liberating and wonderful a character this Medb is. The way you write and draw about her and the others is just so amazing, it shows so much more about her character (love it!!) Please may you share more about this wonderful queen?

I’m always so touched whenever I get messages like these, I really appreciate them down to my core! Thanks for giving Medb a second chance! I’ve talked a lot about her for the past two years that I’m not sure what I haven’t already said tbh... and maybe I’m repeating myself from last year... bU T I wanted to say

The second half of the Summer racing event is still one of my favorite events! For the very specific reason that no matter what happened, everyone consistently kept insulting Medb and looking down on her becuase for whatever reason, they all just assumed she was a flaky brat that half assed everything. And yet...... pretty much every attempt they made to escape was thwarted because she had 100% thought things through for her prison because wasn’t as lax as she lets on! Even Enkidu was shocked that she was actually the type that didn’t let her pride keep her from improving herself to eliminate her own weakness. I’m still not even sure why everyone kept harping on her becuase almost every major appearance, Medb pulls out the power moves to flex on everyone

Literally from the start of America she had the upper hand and everyone else was only barely surviving her onslaught. It was canonically the first time Guda was in a singularity for so long becuase of how difficult and grueling it was

She conquers pretty much the entirety of the map in the Prisma event and launches a direct infiltration attack on Chaldea by essentially hacking the system. This is rarely ever talked about that she managed to do this 

Servants aren’t supposed to be able to injure their master (Romani even says this) but she made a loophole by tricking the player into a geas pact to fight them directly in her interlude. Of course, she only did this just because she wanted to be more useful and didn’t directly say so, but she could have very well killed Guda 

And of course this event, where she managed to outsmart her prisoners literally just by having taken precautions from the start, and queen said “Fuck you” when they tried to assassinate her. Also, the inherent idea that she specifically sought out Quetz, Carmilla, and Nightingale to be her subordinates, made Gorgon be the cornerstone... like how could you underestimate someone this much...

 So even though they often mentioned that this Medb was different from America (or if they meant Chaldea’s Medb), there was never ANY reason to doubt her abilities, but they did! Repeatedly! As frustrating as it was for me to go through this a second time, being underestimated is arguably the biggest part of Medb’s character. Everyone, heck even the fandom, just takes her at face value, but rarely do they ever address how capable she really is. Like honestly, she’s a genius tactician and a master at politics, and she SHOULD have been allowed to help reform some areas of Chaldea like she wanted to. And yet, she takes it in stride becuase she already expects everyone to underestimate her, and she is extremely valid for rubbing salt in the wound every time she smugs on them for doing so

Maybe the real reason Medb has usually been the an antagonist/ has cute silly cameos in events thus far is because it’d be too easy to win if she was a protag in an event 🤔 Anyways, can’t wait for her next appearance in the August summer event! You rock, Medb!

[keyofjetwolf]

Bonus Question Answers! (non-anime animated final)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

This question may have inadvertently created my favourite solid block of answers. I wouldn’t have called that, and was DELIGHTED. Narrowing these down was so incredibly hard. You are all beautiful and I love you.

—

Q: What was one of my favourite songs in JEM? Points will be awarded for accuracy, OR making me laugh, so if you don't know any JEM songs (or Misfits or Singers, of course!), DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU.

*  The Limp Lizards launched a shockingly popular remake of their 1 (one) famous song, and it is literally just an ASMR soundtrack of glass breaking.  That's it.  And yet, their renewed royalties have set them up comfortably in the 2000s.  -- @amberlilly  [I hoped in my heart of hearts that someone would say The Limp Lizards, and then you did, BUT DID IT MORE, Lilly you are the hero we need in these dark times.]

~~

*  If one of your favorite songs wasn't Takin' It All, then I just don't know you.  @ayu-ohseki​  [I DO LOVE THAT ONE YOU GOT ME]

~~

*  Bad Influence? I don't know, the Romeo and Juliet tale but instead of people getting stabbed/poisoned, you have of a bunch of people hijacking YOUR stage performance to sing about how much you and your friend suck. It seems really appealing.  -- Don Jose  [I’m not sure I ever quite phrased it that way to my myself, BUT YOU RIGHT.]

~~

*  Designing Women. It's an incredible bop that features the Misfits trashing a store and then buying everything. All just to spite one of the protags. -- Eddy  [I DO IN FACT REALLY LOVE THIS ONE.  Oh, Misfits, you’re so ridiculous and poorly socialized.]

~~

*  "Come on in the Water's Fine" because when I looked at song titles, I imagined Michiru saying this to Ami to bully her into the pool to race her again bc Ami seems like the kind of girl to her who would need such kind things said to entice her. But additionally, when it started up for some reason it made me think about "Holiday" by Madonna which boy, talk about nostalgia for me. Also also when the dude in the video first shows up, I thought the striped part of his shirt was the only part of his shirt and the peach flesh colored part of his shirt was just his torso and therefore that he was wearing the most hideous crop top that ended just above his nipples because that would be QUITE the fashion statement. Also mermaids rock okay   -- Furi  [There isn’t a word out of place in this entire answer, but also it made me really want you to have to do a blind reaction series on JEM song videos.]

~~

*  "Be Gay, Do Crimes, Rio Sucks" obviously a Misfits song, preaching only truth  -- @incorrecttact  [Bless you, friend]

~~

*  I Snort Glitter Everyday  -- Jillwalker  [ACTUAL LOL, this was clearly from one of Kimber’s 1938577 rebellious phases this week.]

~~

*  That one, in episode 47 I think? about rats being good for your skin? Wouldn't expect it to be so catchy just looking at the lyrics (I mean really, "Put 'em in soap, that's the peak, all squeaky clean, makes the boys' knees weak"? Who greenlit that?) but I haven't been able to go two months without it lodging itself in my brain for *years*  -- @kariachi  [just *chef’s kiss*]

~~

*  Glitter and Gold, because it's such a gigantic "WE HAVE NEW DOLLS TO MARKET!" advertising tie-in that I can't help but enjoy how shameless it is. GLITTER AND GOLD! GLITTER AND GOLD! HERE COMES GLITTER AND GOLD, IN STORES NOW! (Also truly outrageous I guess, but GLITTER AND GOLD!)  -- Peter Svensson  [IT’S TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT. It’s so fucking brazen, I love it.]

~~

*  Jemmicle Songs for Jemmicle Cats!  @sirblackaxe  [Bravo. BRA. VO.]

~~

*  "alone Again" for the sole reason I want you to go "wtf song was this again?" and have to look up this nightmare fever dream of an episode  -- shoujo screamer  [HA JOKE’S ON YOU FRIEND I DON’T HAVE TO LOOK IT UP I ALREADY KNOW THE SONG AND THE EXACT EPISODE IT CAME FROM SO TAKE THAT I AM VERY COOL]

—

AND THAT’S ALL THE BONUS QUESTION ANSWERS. Thank you all so much for playing along with me. I’ll be pulling for the winner (winners? THAT’S UP TO YOU) this Thursday the 14th! The winner(s) will have 24 hours to let me know what I’ll be doing, and we’ll have that liveblog(s) on the last day of THE GIFTENING, Tuesday the 19th.

THANK YOU AGAIN YOU’RE ALL TOO GOOD IT’S DISGUSTING

[sibyl-of-space]

Final Fantasy IX ~ Melodies and Memories

"Jesters of the Moon"

There are a lot of very good video games in the world, but it takes some luck and circumstance outside of a game's control for one to reach me at just the right time(s) and place(s) in my life that it has a tangible impact on who I am -- who I want to be. One that carves out a space for itself in my soul that will never be removed or replaced.

I've just finished playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time, and there's no doubt in my mind that such is the case here.

(Continued below readmore.)

I drew this art last year, when I was mourning my attachment to an old favorite game that I just don't feel the same way about anymore: Majora's Mask. I wanted to draw something that captured my feelings about it, because sometimes art is the best way to talk about something when the words don't want to come.

Why is "Jesters of the Moon," the name of a random song in the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack, plastered in the middle of this Majora's Mask fanart? Especially considering I hadn't even played Final Fantasy IX yet when I drew this?

The reason is exactly that "luck and circumstance" that allowed me to fall so uniquely in love with the game.

"Mt. Gulug"

In 2008, someone on YouTube uploaded a Majora's Mask parody-slash-let's-play series called "Majora's Mask: The Things Which Were Taken Out." The series has since become unlisted and won't be linked here out of respect for the creator who probably doesn't want things they said and made in 2008 being spread all over the internet, but because of Unregistered Hypercam 2 reasons, the series inserted other background music over the video and didn't record the actual game audio.

I didn't recognize any of the music, but I watched these parody videos on repeat because in addition to being funny (...at the time, in my mind, at least), I really really loved the music. It got to the point where I would sometimes be playing Majora's Mask and get disappointed when I approached Goht and the Mt. Gulug theme wasn't playing in the background.

I had forgotten about these videos for a really long time in the interim, but I remembered them at some point when I was thinking about Majora's Mask and I found them again. The creator had cited the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack for virtually all of the background music used in the videos, and I realized that despite knowing literally nothing about the game, I had become really fond of - and weirdly nostalgic for - the songs from it that I now recognized.

So I looked up "Jesters of the Moon" and played it on repeat while I drew out my feelings in colored marker. A few months later, I realized that my backwards compatible PS3 can also play PS1 games, and eBay had FFIX for PS1 at a good price. I had nothing to lose by ordering it and seeing what the source of all that fantastic music was like.

"Vamo Alla Flamenco"

I started my playthrough knowing nothing about what to expect from the game. I'd never played a Final Fantasy game before and my overall JRPG experience has been mostly limited to Tales of, Persona, and more recently, mainline Shin Megami Tensei. The only things I knew about Final Fantasy were a) the Tidus laughing scene, and b) Sephiroth. IX seemed like it had vibes I would enjoy, but beyond that I knew nothing about what the experience would be. So I approached it with a "let's have fun and see how it goes" attitude, naming my party members the first silly thing that came to mind, ending up with "Swaggy," "OwO," "Bitchin," "Gunz," and "SWOOORD" to start with.

(For the record I do not regret those names whatsoever.)

I was immediately struck by how differently the game uses music in comparison to all of my previous JRPG experiences. This was not a game where the composer was given a list of theme songs that were slapped on top of a mostly completed game-- this was a game constructed with the soundtrack in mind as a part of the writing process.

The opening act plays almost like an opera (side note, yes I know one of the other FF's has a literal opera, I haven't played that one): you traverse the same locations from different perspectives as different characters, introducing the cast with lighthearted humor and dramatic irony out the wazoo. While you traverse the city as OwO, OwO's theme is playing in the background, coloring your perspective of the city and the narrative. When you switch to Gunz patrolling around the castle, Gunz's theme accompanies your movement and informs his character and mission. I am so accustomed to "location themes" being the norm in virtually all video games that experiencing character and/or narrative themes as BGM instead while I bumble around town changed my entire perspective on what music in games can do and be.

The operatic feeling is definitely intentional, because the game uses a play-within-a-game narrative device to hit you over the head with its themes in a way that is somehow poignant and artful while also being extremely blatant. That is a hard balance to strike, but it manages. The whole game is like that: it is completely straightforward and tells you exactly what it's about at heart, but it does it beautifully.

At any rate, I was enamored with this intro and had a very fun time, but I wasn't obsessed or anything and ended up putting it down. I spent several months on the first half of disk 1 with weeks passing between play sessions. I liked the game plenty, but life stuff happened and I decided to get obsessed with Dai Gyakuten Saiban and Ghost Trick for a while. No regrettis.

It was already clear, though, that FFIX was going to be special to me. My compositions for my team's game in the Global Game Jam in 2021 were directly inspired by FFIX's opera-like intro. I wrote two character themes for our game that would serve as background music when you play as the two protagonists, coloring your journey differently even when moving in the same spaces. I was intentionally trying to mimic the way music is used in FFIX as an exercise. The themes I wrote are definitely some of my strongest work so far.

(You can check out the game here if you want, I promise it is significantly shorter than Final Fantasy IX.)

"Melodies of Life"

Music caused me to pick up FFIX the first time, and music caused me to return to it. After months of not touching or really thinking about it, just earlier this week I was inspired to play it again, because - again - I listened to the right song at the right time.

I was again mourning the loss of something, in this case a friendship, for reasons I'm not going to share here. I had already heard the song "Melodies of Life" because it came up when I was looking up FFIX songs to reblog on Tumblr a few months ago, and I decided to listen to it again. Even without knowing the game context, the song itself really spoke to me in that moment: "a voice from the past, joining yours and mine, adding up the layers of harmony" - it kind of made me feel at peace with the fact that I had a lot of positive memories of that friendship and I could keep those at heart while also moving on in the present. ...I'm also a sucker for music metaphors, so there is that.

I was really moved by this song, cheesy as it is, and I was also definitely in the mood for a distraction. Picking up FFIX again felt like the best move.

It was, and my life is forever changed.

The game never stopped being beautiful and funny and touching, and the soundtrack never ceased to amaze. I recognized concepts I've seen in other games but never had I seen them used so artfully. I adored the fantasy world and non-human cast, I found myself enticed by random encounter for the first time because it made me feel like I had to struggle to survive a difficult journey. Music, gameplay, visuals, and story felt like one cohesive work of art for the entire duration.

Life circumstances got me to play the game again, but the game itself was so captivating and wonderful that I binged the entire rest of it - disks 2-4 - in less than a week. Everything else that the game had to say, it told me itself, in its own context, and I was ready to listen.

"You're Not Alone!"

This is going to make me sound like an emotionally-stunted twenty-something, but it has been years since a work of media has got me to have a really good cry. I used to cry playing games all the time as a kid but recently I'll find myself getting emotional, sure, often tearing up, but getting completely red-faced and snot-nosed because I physically cannot contain the emotions being evoked by a work? Years. I can't honestly tell you the last time it happened with certainty.

I feel like an emotional band-aid has been ripped off. I was f*cking sobbing during the entire duration of the "You're Not Alone!" sequence. It didn't matter that what was happening was obviously coming from a mile away, because the delivery was so raw and emotional and human!!! A whole game's worth of Swaggy punching first and asking questions later to save his friends, being Protag McProtag endangering himself for others in any and all circumstances, for the payoff of all of his friends forcing him to stop being such a primadonna and let them help him for once. It's true, too! He relies on them just as much as they rely on him! And the game doesn't just tell you this, no, it lets you try to solo all these fights and waits until you realize how boned you are until they come bail you out.

When Bitchin showed up with her "looks like you need a hand" I wanted to straight up yell at my tv. YES I DO!!! YES I DO NEED YOU BITCHIN!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! I half knew that SWOOORD was going to heal me before I got truly KO-ed but I had been unmercifully wiped in "unwinnable" battles before in this game, so I legit thought I might have to re-do that whole part of the game again, and I was so relieved and thankful when she showed up and healed me.

This moment exemplifies everything that I adore about this game. It doesn't just tell you its story. It shows it to you, it sings it to you, and it and lets you play it out and feel it for yourself.

"Game Over"

This song is all too familiar to me. Gizamaluke's Grotto was very unforgiving for a first-time Final Fantasy player, especially one who didn't happen to pick up Big on the way for a fourth party member early on.

I hadn't heard the piano part in a few months, though, because when I picked the game back up I started just mashing to reload before it got to that point any time we wiped. I didn't hear it again until the game was truly over, this time for good.

I let it play for a while. Not too long, because I have a CRT TV and didn't want "The End" to get burned in. But a while. Enough to meditate on what I'd just experienced, and how I was feeling about it.

There's so much more to say about the game, far more than I could put in a blog post. But I don't think I need to describe these thoughts in words. I can do what the game did, and use music, use art, use stories, use metaphors, and use symbols to communicate what I mean; and hope that someone else is able and willing to listen.

And although a written record of my thoughts likely won't be preserved for all that long, maybe the feelings and the memories will be, so long as they have been shared.

[yamiakuzetsu]

Heya,

There's some things I need to address about recent events (especially on Twitter). Some of my mutuals there are also here so I felt it was apt to talk about it here too. 

I intended my spaces to be safe for minors, so I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable and sounded unapproachable about it. I promise to keep an open ear and mind if you come forward with your concerns.

I've lost a few minor mutuals that I cherished my interactions with because of what happened, and honestly I'm heartbroken about it, and wish I could have done better before it got to this point. I hear you all, and I hope at least we can end on good terms by talking about it. I’ll respect it if this would be our last interaction as well, I just want your safety more than anything.

I wasn't directly involved with what happened lately, but I assume it's about how I (and similar friends) make rarepairs among our headcanon protags and some having weird gaps even with explanations attached. I apologize for making anyone uncomfy about them, and I don't want to cause harm, even unintentionally.

Moving forward, my DMs will be open for anyone concerned about my content, minor or adult. I promise I will be calm and open-minded about it. All I ask is for you to be civil about your concerns as well.

Furthermore, from now on, I'll be limiting my own ship content to what already is "official" such as Nameless and Origin and such. All my protag content will stay as my usual silly draws, all platonic as how it mostly has been through the years, rest assured.

At the very least, I still want to explain myself with how our verse works. I hope you don’t take it as justifying anything or saying your discomfort is trivial, I just want to tell you where I’m coming from, not to say I’m in the right or wrong. I felt haven't explained it properly & I apologize to everyone who thought it was an intentional "aged-up" thing to justify age gaps, that is never my intention and I don't want creeps taking advantage of any of my content.

Our verse is something that's originally between me and my sis. We made it for fun to try to tie together how we replayed the games in 2016, first games being BW, Platinum, then ORAS--so those were the first games in our timeline too.  We got inspired by the concept of Pokespe making their own story and even establishing their own versions of the characters, making the protags meet up, and just having their own world going on, so we wanted that too.

It's an "AU" because we used our play order as our own timeline thru multiverses, while also keeping track of the actual timeline in-game, tho it’s a little more complicated than that (if you played games that make you keep track of your present while also keeping in mind the “actual” version of events, it’s that). That's why some ages seem wonky out of context, like the BW protags being older than everyone else because they’re the first in our playthru timeline, even if the Kanto/Hoenn people should be eldest if you take in canon. 

Our verse has wonky ages because of our play order timeline, but we also observe the actual/"canon" ages they are in-game, especially by the time of Sun/Moon (Alolan Red + Blue and all that). That means they have their actual ages after all their verse adventures as with the usual canon. I also have to add that there is no shipping involved in their “present”/playthru timeline incarnations. (I know it might still be confusing, so I would be more than willing to explain more in DMs.)

I also have to address this: the few instances we actually aged up or down characters, it was with N (we saw him as 18 in BW before the interview), and the BW protags who were originally intended as 16 design-wise. This only goes for my personal view of them, stemming from how my 14 y/o self perceived BW. Though, after reading the sentiments of people after the incident with my friend and her self-insert version of Touko, I understand the harm in promoting them and I'm sorry, I'll stop. 

Again, though, I'm sorry that it came across as us finding technicalities in our timeline and using that as an excuse to get characters together. That was never our intention, and everyone who expressed discomfort over it is valid. I don’t want this to come across as me dismissing everyone who got uncomfy as well just because I had good intentions. 

To close this: If I came across as defensive about this topic, I'm sorry, and I want to be approachable about this, especially at the discomfort of younger people. Please know I want to talk this out and if you choose to cut our association, at least we be on good terms. I'll respect that. I want everyone to be comfortable in my space, and much especially for my content not to be taken advantage by harmful people.

[tyelkormo]

1. Are you named after someone? yea i am!!!! theyre kind of a mythological piece of shit but i love the name........ 

2. When was the last time you cried? uhhhhhh i cant actually remember??? couple weeks ago? yesterday? who knows

3. Do you have kids? fuck no

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? i guess so??? boy i forgot everything about myself

5. What are your hobbies? hmmm i like writing and ive been into traditional painting and drawing lately and i like cooking and baking a lot. i like riding bicycles and walking and i listen to podcasts and audiobooks a lot these days? reading comics, though i stopped for a long time and only picked it up again recently..... 

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people? i never notice anything about anyone jkfdfjkhs idk their height??? 

7. What’s your eye color? dark brown

8. Scary movie or happy ending? i like both!!!! i love love LOVE horror movies but it triggers some heavy paranoia and i sometimes start seeing things its wild....... i get real freaked out for weeks depending on the movie...... and these days i try not to watch anything thatll make me Sad or feeling Heavy Emotions so. happy endings 

9. Any special talents? hhh..... i. am very talented at convincing people to do dumb shit they would never do otherwise. not like harmful stuff just like. silly dumb shit like “lets just walk there” and its a 6km walk and we do almost get mugged and murdered maybe but giving where i live thats just a given

10. Where were you born? brasil !!!

11. Do you have any pets? yea, two!!!!! theyre both named after literary works cos im a nerdddd my cat is named severino after this poem called morte & vida severina by joão cabral de melo neto and my dogs named bento after the protagonist from machado de assis’ dom casmurro. my dog isnt a garbage man like that protag but bento is such a good name

12. What sport do you/have you played? lmao in middle school i played for the handball team and the futsal team ! dropped that shit tho

13. How tall are you? 171cm so uh. like. 5′7???

14. Favorite subject in school? if we’re talking high school it depended on the year honestly lmao first year it was chemistry, second year it was geometry, third year i stopped giving even the slightest shit but i guess it was physiscs 4? i dont remember what branch of physics that was tho??? literature and history were usually a steady favs, too but it depended on the teacher & those others were the ones i was always Excited about. i was a history major in college but i dropped out of that real fast so idk and when i started up again as a portuguese/english/literature major i was in LOVE with most branches of linguistics but i dropped out of that too so fkjdshfjk

15. Dream job? hm....... id like to be a writer but its not happening and also meh. & not to get deep but im straight up not programmed to function in society as it is so....... big yike. sometimes when i Dream About Futures i kinda want to write tv shows but thats. lol 

@silvergifting thank u so much for tagging me !!!!! 

tagging uhhhh anyone who wants to do it ig? !!!

[artisticvesscl-a]

This is a bit of a thank you for following me, and I wanna say some things about a few people. If you’re not on here, its likely I look up to you and I’m afraid to say anything about it >.< I apologize in advance. There are two sections, General and specific.

this is technically not a follower forever because I haven’t even reached 100 yet ^^; But i’m happy, doesn’t matter if i have 7 followers or 1,402!

IN GENERAL:

 the people I’ve met on here are complete and utter sweethearts, and I’m sorry you have to deal with late night bullshit with me when its past 9pm without medication. But I’ve come so far imo, and its because of you guys, and some others who are no longer in the fandom. I’ve been in the DR RPC for almost 2 years now, and I’ve had friends come and go.

I’m always sad to see the ones from the past leave forever and thus leave my life, but I’m always so excited to seek out new people who I can have a good laugh with. , for the first time in the two years of DR rpc, actually 2 years of rping in general, I feel like I belong. And honestly... thank you all for including me. It may not seem like a big role on your part, but it means the world to me.

Furthermore, all though it may not seem like I like being on here, I actually do. I’m never on, and I apologize for that. Especially as of late, as I’m trying to get a job so I won’t become a NEET.  I’m in love with the threads I have going, and I look forward to the ones ahead!

And to personals who see this: Thank you so much for following me! I’m sorry I don’t follow back so I can keep my dash clean so I can read rps, but I really do appreciate that you enjoy what I write and how I write Angie. Your follow means a lot to me!

As to RPers, You all are so talented, it makes me feel so inferior to you all. I have an inferiority complex, and I’m a bit shy at first, with no social skills whatsoever. But you all play your muses fantastically and I love reading whatever’s on my dash: its how i procrastinate and keep myself from writing my own threads (oops)! And now for some people:

SPECIFICS

@clowndictator I love your Ouma!!!! you seem to flesh out his character flawlessly and effortlessly, and i’m a bit jealous you can do so! And about your portrayal, though its different from fanon, you take every word that comes out of Kokichi’s mouth and evaluate it and come to conclusions, it seems as though your Kokichi is canon, when it isn’t, technically! Keep it up!  And Ashe, I still wanna go to scotland :(((((((( but instead you get internet hugs~ because you are awesome, I love you, and I hope you have fun with Sham!

@tulpacest SPEAKING OF WHICH Shamu, ever since you followed me on my old blog I felt blessed to have you as a follower. Like Ashe, you put a lot of passion into Korekiyo, and love him for the good the bad and the ugly. He’s so detailed, sassy, and clever, and you put so much thought into why korekiyo does what he does, and you didn’t delete sister, which was honestly really great! (I don’t support incest, but its there, so might as well run with it, y’ know?) My angie needs to interact with Kork so they can be problematic and discourse inducing together.(PS. I see you liking my posts, don’t be silly and act like I don’t >u>)

@ahogedetective Hey, so I know we don’t talk much, but I adore your Shuichi with a passionate heart! He has a certain level of “done” to him that I admire with his sarcasm and all that, as well as a kindhearted protag side that wants to protect his friends, unlike Hajime, who shoves all of his friends away. and our pre-established relationship??????? we can send text threads?? ? ? ? and have it apply to their relationship????? GIMME @shslmasseur  I don’t know EVERYTHING about julion but the foil between Julion, the voice of reason, and Angie, the voice of impulse, is actually very interesting to say the least! And the mun is a wonderful, insightful person who loves their OC to death. I’ve actually interacted with you waaaaay back when I first started rping and you stuck with me through tough times, which is more than what I could ever ask for! You’re so sweet, its like you’re sugar incarnate or something! And Julion needs to teach Angie a few things that are ... you know... not ok is2g

@hopeful-hugz-danganronpaau Hey, you! Yeah, you! I ADORE your OC, she is 100% nerd material imo, which strays her away from the popular kids, and brings the fact that she had been bullied to be believable, based off of your select musings for hope. But ANYWAY, Angie always wanted an apprentice friend, and Hope might just be the key to getting through Angie’s stubbornness, and maybe be able to persuade her, if Hope was persuasive, that is. And Egg is a genuine, wholesome mun who just wants to have fun and rp, and I love talking to them OOC!  I love rping with you, I eat up every word you write!

@luminaryblood PRINCESS KAITO I LOVE YOU and i know we hardly talk, and we’ve never interacted, But I just wanna put you here to say, “HI WE SHOULD RP AND HAVE EITHER ANGIE OR KAITO SNAP” because that’d be fun, amirite!!??? Anyway, Sammy is, too, a great mun, and an amazing rper for Kaito. I just need to get my butt in gear so I can make another starter call :((((((

@ctrlaltkibo SPARKY M’ DUDE! YOUR KIIBO IS VERY WELL WRITTEN AND i LOVE YOUR PORTRAYAL TO BITS, whether it be Human kiibo or normal kiibo! and you’re so kind and funny too, to boot! I absolutely would follow them again if I had to remake again! also can i have your discord (......... don’t hurt meiowegoiwegfoi)

@bleedingracquets You meme, get back online and then i’ll tell you what’s what iowergoiwegoiwegoikwleds JK JK EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE NOT ONLINE HALF THE TIME I STILL LOVE YOUR PORTRAYAL OF RYOMA AS A ROUND CHARACTER and not a flat one. I can finally say that i’ve interacted with your Ryoma outside of drawing dicks on his forehead :’)  Also i love your art so much, and you devote so much time to your art and the style is so amusing to look at, most times I can’t look away, it’s so good-- Anyway I love you and your ryoma and I hope you come back soon ;u;

And some honorable mentions, who I’ve talked to very little, or interacted very little or not at all, and would love to interact with your muse!!

@shlngetsu, @shokvzai, @claireinette, @airheaded-donuts, @ayatsurii, @stalwart-protector, @nantitcntei, @ahogeadventurer, @misfxts, @mutxremundi @hasukuro @harujuku-punk @hopebvllet @cxruscxte @intoknives @imperfectmusicfreak @tensax (and @upupawa) @shsl-sfx @kosmec

Thats all I can think of at the moment oops  But I just needed to get this off my chest!!!! Thank you for reading, stay Hydrated, take care of yourselves, have fun in life, and live one day at a time you all! You all matter to me. I don’t want to see you guys get hurt.  Cheers~

XJ9

[hopefulbagelboi]

Animation feedback, progress and other such information!

Silly me, I’d somehow forgotten to write about the feedback received for my animation, after having a one to one with two tutors as they watched over the train wreck of an animation. I lucked out and the sound didn’t work for some reason, thus they didn’t have to hear the rather cringy voice acting.

Let’s take this step by step as there are a lot of tidbits to sew together.

The feedback: Summarised, the main aspects I was encouraged to change about my animation were the representation of the two main characters, how they carried the plot and the ending itself. Of course I didn’t have to listen to the advice but who am I to tell the guys who have been in this profession for most of their lives that they’re wrong? Besides, they both had some fair points to make and they will be relieved to know that they are all in effect in my updated animation.

The issue with my main characters was that they are mostly identical, seeing as the protagonist is facing off with his greatest demon; himself. While I thought that changing their personalities - and in effect their stance and appearance slightly - would clear up any confusion, I found that I had to describe far too often what was actually going on in the animation. Instead, they suggested a sort of angel/demon sat on the protag’s shoulder sort of mechanic. Now, I personally hate this cliche trope and made that rather clear, and so they suggested there being multiple smaller demons and no angel. Maybe the parents of the protag were demons and repeatedly said things like ‘you should’ve been a doctor’ or ‘art isn’t a real job!’.

I liked this interpretation a little better, and after talking with a classmate I came to the conclusions that I will change up the antagonist in the story so that he is more demonic. Not only this but there will be many other demons, all full sized, but portrayed as looming shadow creatures in the background. They will be part of an audience around the protag, and they mock and laugh at the protag in response to what their ringleader (the main antag) says.

This also plays into some feedback I received a long while ago about a stage being the background instead of a smoky void for the second scene. Below being the quick sketch a tutor drew up as he explained that to me.

Next, the ending. My original ended in a way that made it clear that everything that happened in the protag’s head was far more real than it seemed. As in, if his demon hit him those marks would appear on his actual body in reality.

This was misunderstood by both tutors and they assumed the story was about self harm - those were the vibes they were getting anyway - to which they asked if I had anything to tell them.

Of course that wasn’t my aim but I could completely understand how they came to that conclusion. I decided that changing the entire ending would be easier than trying to trim around the corners of the current one. My plan is to have an ending where neither party, good or evil, wins per se but that it is made clear that the protag’s internal battle is ongoing and never ending. He would be bullied into submission, but mindlessly continue his work in the real world as if nothing happened; he has to keep trucking on.

Other endings that were suggested to me that I liked the sound of included having a happier ending where the protag ‘fights back’ against his demons. He would get to a point of not caring what they say anymore, regardless of how poor his work was he was convinced he could improve. Naturally, another ending was for him to actually fight the demons but I found it pretty boring.

Extras: A few extra things to mention are the suggested visual updates I should consider. The image at the top is from another talk from a different tutor who helped me with my perspective and keeping things in frame without too much negative space.

I had considered changing the audio, scrapping it and starting again - maybe even having no dialogue at all. I’m unsure as to whether I should remove all teacher dialogue simply because I have to present my progress to my class, who are all far more talented than I, and if the drawings don’t make them cringe then the voice acting will certainly be the icing on the cake.

Progress: None.

After receiving feedback and deleting unnecessary frames and trying to draw new ones I was hit with a wave of ‘oh my god even when I try to make it look good it looks questionable’. I left my animation alone for over a month, admittedly I wasn’t proud of that and constantly tried to go back to it and force myself to continue, but drawing brings my mood down and the longest I can do it before giving up in frustration is about 3 hours.

After having come back to it these past two weeks I’ve realised that trying to make it look good doesn’t look any different than when I draw it haphazardly anyway. And trying to make it look good takes up more time, is increasingly more frustrating and is essentially a fruitless effort. So, I’m going to finish my animation for the sake of finishing it, whatever quality comes it isn’t on top of my priorities list anymore.

As a proof of concept:

^ My apparently ‘good’ attempt at drawing. I had been working on a few frames for hours and hours just trying to get him turning around to look somewhat normal.

^ My drawing with all hope lost, now I’m just drawing to get the damn thing finished. Still took me a long time, maybe 1 hour 30 mins, because I’m so slow at drawing.

No difference, is there?

[lesbianalicent]

mass effect: andromeda review

abandon hope of not seeing spoilers, all ye who click the cut

overall: 3/5 main story: 3.5/5 dialogue: 5/5 fuck all of you it was hilarious combat: 5/5 worldbuilding: 2/5 squad: 4/5 overall gameplay: 2/5 side quests: 1/5

this is gonna be long, y’all, i have A Lot To Say

so, first thing’s first: ryder is a treasure and probably the best protagonist that bioware has come up with since hawke or shepard. inquisitor whom??? they’re absolutely hilarious and whenever they open their mouth i know something delightfully terrible is going to come out of it. i find it interesting that the older folks who play this game (late twenties and over) HATE the dialogue but the younger folks who are around ryder’s actual age don’t? it’s an interesting split that i could write essays on just bc of how ryder talks bc it’s so similar to how i talk.

god she’s such a little asshole i love her i would die for her.

THE PROS: -fantastic combat that is probably the best that bioware has ever done, not having a set class is wonderful and being able to switch to do whatever you want is [prayer hands emoji] i can finally be the biotic infiltrator combo of my dreams -I LOVE BEING ABLE TO PROJECT MY DADDY ISSUES ONTO RYDER THANK YOU FOR THAT BIOWARE -kissable!! turian!! gotta Kiss That Turian!! -the tempest crew feels like a tight knit family, they feel Real, hearing them banter on the ship itself is lovely and seeing how their relationship grows over the course of the game is delightful. the movie night single handedly saved me. the emails and the message board killed me dead. -nakmor kesh is my girlfriend -liara t’soni cameos -SAM, i love that ai i hope he knows that. he’s a very different character than edi and i really like that? i like the relationship he has with ryder it’s a lot different than shepard’s relationship with legion and with edi -the little easter eggs scattered around, like hunting dr. okeer’s research and finding zaeed’s son -the main story missions really felt like mass effect, and there’s some great choices you have to make that i hope will have actual effects later in the series -STUNNING scenery, holy shit -nomad banter -peebee/vetra, specifically. thank you sheryl chee for my life. -THE RYDER FAMILY WHAT THE HECK I LOVE THESE ASSHOLES -loyalty missions were a lot of fun, liam’s specifically is SO funny i love that boy -i would die for the tempest’s crew THE CONS: -too big. way, way, WAY too big. like take the hinterlands and make it into several PLANETS big. it’s exhausting and it was neat at first but by the end i just wanted it to be done, i had to resort to doing a speed run just so i wouldn’t burn myself out on the first try. if i wanted to play an open world game i’d play world of warcraft or skyrim, honestly. the open world aspect of it is dEFINITELY one of the game’s biggest weak spots, and i’m def gonna save my completionist run for when some mods and patches come out so i don’t burn myself out real quickly. i still haven’t recovered from my dai completionist run and that was a year ago. -the loyalty missions are fun and interesting, but except for cora’s they really didn’t seem to have much of a point other than unlocking romances. in me2 the point of the loyalty missions was that the crew would draw a line with shepard somewhere, things you said and did could lose their loyalty and if you lost their loyalty the characters could and often did die in the suicide mission. these seemed more like personal quests, they didn’t even unlock new outfits :/ -okay. listen. i understand that garrus is a fan favorite. and i love him too. but holy shit liara had a VOICE cameo and he still got the most references. that goddamn archangel paintjob? “reach and flexibility”? having his picture in the codex? his goddamn father being in a flashback? liam mentioning a scarred turian vigilante? meanwhile kaidan and ashley get nothing, lmao, Okay. like shit even shepard only got referenced ONCE like come on y’all. not even gonna mention the battle of the citadel? that was a big goddamn plot point, especially since ryder was RAISED ON THE CITADEL? you’d think that the sovereign attack would be traumatizing. -dragon age characters got references but ash and kaidan don’t.........lol.........i see you bioware.............. -what was even the point of editing shepard’s gender -if you’re gonna have references you should at least have a little reference for every major character like the game is so fucking big you could have done it without being in your face. ellen’s role with biotics? reference baat. general williams and shanxi. wrex when talking to drack’s clan urdnot friend. -i really wish they’d have at least had some major choices from me1 imported in, like “did the council survive, who was the virmire survivor, was everyone recruited, did wrex survive” etc.  -speaking off, there’s plot holes for days. i can’t get a confirmation on when in 2185 they left, but if they left before shepard woke up and they didn’t ever recruit garrus in me1 then WHY would garrus’s dad talk to alec about it. the fuck my dudes. -yeah. plot holes for days. i’m tired and a bitter OT fucker. -gil’s.......entire.............storyline............lol GOD bioware...... -having the two crime lords being the latino man and the black woman. i see you bioware. -sloane’s entire storyline god bioware........... -the remnant are literally just synthetic protheans and the kett are organic reapers -i’m tired of this trend in bioware games where they use the “SILLY MORTALS YOU CANNOT EVEN COMPREHEND OUR ACTIONS, THEY ARE BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING” like with the reapers it was cool, corypheus was a disaster and quite frankly so was the kett but whatever. -activating the monoliths and having to do sudoku. why.  -not prioritizing quests properly. you could miss one of the biggest twists in the game bc you don’t finish that fetch quest to get all the memory triggers, and that twist was the main one that i actually wanted to see (shepard and the reapers and liara’s SOS) -PEEBEE’S SEX SCENE GOD. TOO MUCH. BIOWARE. -JAAL WITH HIS VAGINA HEAD GOING DOWN ON SARA RYDER. FUCK.

that’s all i can think of atm but my main issue with the game is that bioware doesn’t seem to know how to prioritize quests, it’s SO BIG, and they treat their mlm like garbage. also racist tropes ahoy.

i’m really excited to see where they take the franchise tho! definitely got some solid future plot points with whatever the fuck the remnant were, whatever the kett are after (ugh...), discovering what happened in the milky way, who killed jien garson, who is the benefactor (my money is illusive man and tann’s power hungry froggy ass had her killed and it was unrelated just coincidental), ellen ryder’s recovery, the quarian ark, etc.

i hope they keep the same squad for the next game! continue the romances as well as add in new ones, maybe add a couple of new squaddies. i like having the same characters overlap in different games, it makes you actually care about them. add in scott/sara as a squaddie! LESBIAN/GAY SQUADDIES. keep ryder as the protag or so help me god..........

it really, really makes me miss the original trilogy tho. and playing it knowing there’s a bunch of ppl who wont ever touch it but will play andromeda hurts me deeply.