#ELLE: May 2018 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

guardarecheluna · 9 months

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Wishing you were here tonight is like holding on. (CEO!H)

Words; 11.6K (look at me gooooo!)

Warnings: Fluff city, angst, parent death, smut (oral; fem rec. praise, penetrating sex.)

Summary: Harry has a brand-new employee at Pleasing. An employee that he fell in love with the minute he saw her, that he constantly had to hide his emotions from, because, well, he was the boss.

A/N: My first CEO!Harry one shot!! Eeeek I’m so excited for you to read this one, I’ve worked really hard on it, and I’ve always wanted to write about CEO Harry. I love him already; I hope you do too! If you read, please let me know what your favourite part was or talk to me here. I’m always open for conversations <3 (ALSO! This is my first time writing any smut, so be kind please) Take care and go easy on yourself this week. Elle x

March 2018

Harry is a good boss. Really, he is. He always stands up for his staff members, approving vacation days without much trouble and brought in pastries to the creative meetings.

He would maybe even be described as a happy, joyfull person, kind and engaged in what his staff was creating and how they were doing. And he was, but it was mostly a façade.

And it wasn’t that he didn’t feel joy around his colleagues, or that he was faking it to gain something else – Harry was just miserable in his personal life.

You would think it is impossible to be sad and to feel hopeless when you have a multi-million-pound company at the ripe age of 34, the cars, the women, the parties and all the vacation days he could ever want. But Harry wasn’t that shallow, he never had been. He wanted connection. Craved and yearned for a soulful connection with someone else. A lover, a soulmate to be his own, and not just a one-night stand or a drunken philosophical debate with whoever was available.

Harry sat in his penthouse suite, in the lounge. The penthouse was eerily quiet, apart from a few raindrops smattering against the glass of the windows. The sky looked as dreary and sad as he felt on the inside, his chest tightening and a furrow between his brows as the thought about her. There wasn’t a her yet, but when Harry sat there on his sofa, tie loose around his neck and clammy hands resting on his thighs, he couldn’t help but imagine her there with him.

He wasn’t going to cry though, have a breakdown or feel sorry for himself; it didn’t do him any good, even if it was all he needed right now. He almost called his mom, ready to confess his loneliness, his longing, empty, fragile heart, in hopes that his mothers love could glue at least a few pieces back together.

There was no use, though. He could feel himself falling deeper and deeper into the feeling of loneliness, his head leaning back over the arm of the couch.

A sudden phonecall woke him up from this circle of evil he found himself in. It was Niall, his COO, and best friend, the co-founder of Pleasing. Harry took a deep breath, readying himself for answering Niall’s phone call. It was past 8pm on Wednesday, if anything he wanted to go have a drink at a shitty bar somewhere and drag on about his ex-girlfriend. Harry couldn’t have that tonight.

Harry pressed answer and put on his façade, like he always did when there was possible business to oversee. “Hey, Niall.” Harry said, putting on his calmest, most stable voice. “Heeeeey there H! Sorry to bother you at this hour, I may have done something stupid, but I want you to hear me out before you get pissed, you hear me?” Niall enthused over the phone. Harry sighed, falling back on the sofa with the phone to his ear. This could be anything, it could be that he sold his part of the company to the devil himself or that someone put roses instead of tulips at the entrance of the building. “What did you do, Niall?” Harry let out, already feeling defeated with how his evening was going. His hand over his forehead, bracing himself for what was about to come out of Niall’s mouth. “It could be worse, Styles, I’ve done worse than this. So, you know how we were going over the applications for the new senior creative for cosmetics and design earlier?” Niall led on. “Yes.” Harry replied shortly. “Well, a very interesting application just got through a few hours late and I’ve already called her and set up an interview for tomorrow afternoon. Her resume looks incredible, she’s just leaving her post at Rare beauty and has previously worked as a creative at Milk makeup. She does marketing, press, design and has so many other skills, I just couldn’t put down her application without giving her a chance. If she’s anything like what’s mentioned in her resume she’ll-“Niall rambled on, Harry interrupting him, annoyance filling his head, although Niall didn’t deserve the blow of it. “Niall. We have a full day of interviews tomorrow, and you just booked another one until late. We don’t have time for this, I’m sure someone we’re interviewing can do all those tasks just as well.” Harry just wasn’t feeling it, at all. He didn’t care if Niall had just found the rarest gem in the industry, his workday was over at 5 and not a minute later. With how much brainpower has gone to his depressed mood and anxiety, he couldn’t bear the thought of staying until at least 6:30 on a Thursday. “Harry, I don’t know what to tell you, but I have a feeling about this one. I can stay and do the interview on my own if it bothers you that much. I just want us to give her a chance.” The line got quiet. Niall knew he had messed up not checking with Harry first, but his gut was telling him that this girl might be right for Pleasing. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Niall.” Harry plainly said and hung up the phone. Harry threw his phone on the couch, not wanting to even think about how drained he’ll be tomorrow as he went for his evening shower.

The next day dragged on, Harry keeping a big smile on his face for every new applicant that came through the door. There were a few possible hires, definitely, but with the final interview coming up, Harry felt the day wash over him as he waved goodbye to the one applicant they had just finished interviewing.

Their floor was pretty much empty now, just a few staff members hanging around and talking about their day. Harry needed a coffee to be able to finish strong, he didn’t want to leave Niall to do the final interview himself, even if all he wanted right now was to get a takeout and then get straight home. “Do you want anything?” Harry mumbled to Niall as he rose from his seat beside him, making an exit for the door of his office. There was still a few minutes remaining until the last applicant was supposed to be interviewed. Niall didn’t look up as he just said, “No thanks, mate.” And continued reading through the next applicant’s personal letter and information.

Harry walked out into the hall, hearing cheerful laughter down by the offices as he made his way through. His eyes zeroed in on the end of the hallway, the coffee machine calling out his name. “Hi, Sorry, can I just ask you something?” A sweet, nervous sounding voice came from behind him. Harry turned around and was met with what was probably the most stunning woman he had ever laid his eyes on. His breath caught in his throat, cheeks already flushing just by looking at her. She was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. Harry realized he had been quiet for a few seconds to long and kicked himself back into gear. “Of course, what can I help you with?” He got out, flashing his sweet smile at her. He got a chance to study her features, her outfit. Her full lips as she smiled, eyes bright and curious as she looked right at him. He felt like he had won the lottery, just by looking at her, his chest was on fire. She was wearing a fun, colourful outfit that was still business casual, a few cartoonish looking enamel pins on her blazer pocket. Creative she was. “I’m sorry to be a bother, I think the receptionist has already left. I have an interview for the senior creative position here and I’m just lost looking for Horan and Styles offices. Do you know where I can find them?” She smiled at him, a hopeful, kind look in her eyes as she awaited his answer. Harry immediately felt disappointment, if she was looking for work at Pleasing, he couldn’t even think about looking at her the way he was right now. Harry reached his hand out. “I’m the Styles you’re looking for, it’s nice to meet you…” He looked at her with a questioning look, not yet having heard her name. “Oh! This couldn’t be more perfect! It’s Y/N Y/L/N.” She bubbled with joy, reaching for his hand and shaking it. “It’s really good to meet you Y/N, you can call me Harry, everyone here does.” He smiled at her; he really couldn’t help it at this point.

“I was going to get some coffee before our meeting, we still have…13 minutes. Do you want anything?” Harry continued, looking down at his wristwatch to catch the time. Her shoulders slumped in relief, maybe partly relaxing because of his kind demeanour and kind offering. “I-yes, coffee sounds like it’s exactly what I need right now. Thank you, Harry.” She said lightly, with a giggle in her voice. Harry doesn’t think he’s ever heard such a beautiful sound in all his life, and she had managed to worm her way into his heart and make an impression bigger than the other 5 applicants had made combined. They walked together to the coffee machine, small talking about visions and dreams for the company and why she sent in her resume to work for them. And Harry, Harry was in trouble.

---

Harry was light on his feet as he stepped into the lift at Pleasing HQ this morning, because he was in love. His whole life had transformed in just a matter of months, no longer feeling the lonely, bitter thoughts taking over him at night. He was in his own world of pink rose petals falling from the sky, rosy cheeks and laughter echoing in his head. He felt like he way going crazy, and maybe he was. Y/N had obviously gotten the position as a senior creative. After she left her interview, Harry was just obsessed with her. With what she saw for the company’s future, her laugh and kindness, her witty humour.

Y/N had been working for pleasing now for the last three months, taking it all in stride and charming the whole office with her tactics and energy; Harry had never seen anyone so passionate about their job, so caring about the people around her. She was the perfect puzzle piece.

There was just one issue.

Y/N had no idea about any of this. Or, maybe she could’ve guessed. Niall had to tell him how obviously in love he was with her, and that he had to get his ducks in a line or there would be issues. Dating a co-worker, especially as a boss was frowned upon, however not forbidden.

Harry just couldn’t stop thinking about her, ever. And they were friends, really good friends. Having lunch together, always getting stuck in conversation at their after-work gatherings, and Harry always did an extra round by the offices in the afternoon just to have an excuse to talk to her. Maybe she saw right through him, but he’s not sure he minded it. He was desperate to be a part of her world at this point, just to have a little piece of her, even if he couldn’t have her in the way he so desperately craved. This was going to have to be enough. It was like Harry had accepted his fate of this unrequited love, but he couldn’t really complain as long as she was still in his life. He didn’t feel sad about it anymore, it wasn’t that heartache he had felt previously, he had accepted that he had found his person, but that he was never going to have her. It was alright, he decided.

Y/N was doing a big pitch today, her first one. She had ben scrambling around for the first three months trying to learn everything about the company, the values, the staff and the consumers to really get an idea of what they were wanting to put out. She had worked hard, stayed some late nights to finish a mood-board or sketch a new design for something.

And Y/N was excited. Nervous for sure, but mostly excited to show everyone her interpretation of what Pleasing could become.

Harry spotted her in their conference room as he entered the floor. A smile on his lips immediately after seeing her setting up some snacks for everyone and trying to get the projector to work. He knocked on the slightly open door. “Morning, there! You need help with anything before we kick off?” Harry offered as he leaned against the doorframe. Y/N hastily turned around from the table she was standing on, trying to fix the cord to the projector that was not doing it’s best work today. She jumped down, straightening out her clothes and sighed. “I think most of it is all set, I just can’t seem to pull down the screen for the projector though, and you seem like a tall enough lad.” Y/N jokingly said to him, eyes scrunching and her little crow’s feet by her eyes showing. Harry loved every detail of her. “Course, love.” Harry replied as he walked over to the front of the room and pulled down the screen, easy as pie. “Thank you, H.” She said, now focused on her laptop screen, and fingers picking nervously at her lips. “You’re going to do incredible; I know it. Don’t have to be nervous, it’s just the staff and you know all of them.” Harry said, catching her nervousness as he’d known her for years. “Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m a little nervous, but everyone here is so nice, I have trouble believing I’ll be roasted by any of you.” She answered. He noticed that she never replied to his compliment about her being incredible. Sweet girl, Harry thought, she’s too nice and too sceptical of her own ability, she’s absolutely incredible at what she’s doing. Just as he was about to repeat himself, affirming his trust in her, the other staff started to trickle into the room. Harry hadn’t even put away his coat since he got here, he just went straight to Y/N. “Oh shit, give me a minute, yeah? I’m just going to put away my things, I’ll be right back.” Harry excused himself from the room, but not before hearing, “Hurry up, bossman, you’ve got to minutes to business-time!” Y/N shouted after him, earning a giggle from the people in the room. Harry just smiled to himself as he shook his head in adoration before walking over to his office.

She did so good. Of course she did. She had nothing to be nervous about, and she charmed the whole office with her visions and imagination of future products. She had put fourth an idea about more homegoods, candles, pyjamas and blankets. She had even went so far as to research materials, resellers for those materials and always making sure to stay true to the company’s values according to fair trade and labour rights. Her presentation was also funny, It barely felt like a meeting, she was just so naturally comedic, and Harry absolutely adored her. He sat way in the back, leaning back on his chair and twiddled with his shirtsleeve, looking like a lovesick puppy. Her every move and her every word entrancing him and pulling him deeper and deeper into her trenches. Although, he’d happily go down.

Just as Y/N finished, everyone cheered and clapped for her, everyone was proper impressed by her ideas and research, and couldn’t wait to get started with things. Harry stayed in the back, listening to everyone talk and share their ideas, budgets, raw material ideas and colourswatches. Harry was so proud of her. Everyone slowly left the room, congratulating Y/N on her impressive work, giving her hugs and encouraging words. Harry was the last one there. He was wearing a big, dimply smile as he walked up to her. “You have no idea what you just started, did you hear everyone? You’re fucking amazing, Y/N I don’t even know what to say. I’m so, so impressed.” Harry said, the smile never leaving his lips. If he didn’t know better he’d congratulate her with all the kisses she’d want. Y/N was blushing, her cheeks turning rosy as she looked up at him. “Thank you, Harry. I’m so relieved everyone liked it and that you’ve been here to support me, I really couldn’t have done any of this if you weren’t there so I could ask all those stupid questions.” She replied, humble as always. Harry got stuck in her eyes, just nodding to her. “Celebratory lunch? On me?” Harry followed up with, the blush never leaving her cheeks. “I’d like that.”

---

Another 4 months had passed, and Harry fell just fell deeper and deeper into the sticky sweet lovecloud he was constantly in. It was dreary and dark out, the middle of November as Harry made his way into the office, preparing for their regular staff meeting, when he noticed Y/N was nowhere to be found. A pang of worry beat through his chest. Had she called in sick? Maybe she got in an accident on the way here? Harry felt his heart beating out of his chest in worry for his favourite girl; and just like that his phone went off. It was her.

He’s never answered his phone so quickly in his life. “Hey, there, I was beginning to wonder where you were.” Harry said immediately with a smile teasing on his lips, waiting to hear her voice. The line was quiet on the other end, he could hear her breathing and some rustling of something in the background. “Love? You there? Are you alright?” He said, softening his voice for her, the worry back in his chest as he stepped aside from a few other co workers and into his office, closing the door. “Harry…I’m sorry to call so late in the workday, I-i just don’t know what to do, i-.” He heard her crying over the phone, clearly upset, her breathing irregular and voice shaky. “Shhh, it’s okay love, take a deep breath for me, yeah? Tell me what’s happening, are you alright?” Harry was pacing in his office, wanting to demand her to tell her what was wrong, but he kept his voice gentle for her. He felt his pocket for his car keys in case he had to come get her. He would do anything. “It’s my dad, my dad has- he passed away in the night, and th-they don’t know what happened, I just I ca-can’t come in today so, so I was just…can I-I work from home today, is that o-okay?” Harry’s chest was aching as he listened to her tearful voice. Silly girl, working from home when something like this happened. He couldn’t allow it, and all he could think about was seeing her, wrapping her up in his arms to shield her from the pain she was experiencing. “Listen to me, Y/N, everything is going to be alright. I’m so sorry about your loss, I am so, so sorry. You’re not working today, or tomorrow, you’re going to take the week off and go see your family, do you understand?” He tried to be as gentle and clear as possible so her foggy brain could understand his words. “Do you have someone there with you?” Harry continued, biting his nails in worry for the sweet girl he had fallen so hard for. Harry already knew her answer, her family lived a plane ride away and she was pretty new in London, not yet having made a steady base of friends to look after her. She didn’t protest when he said she wasn’t going to work this week. “No-no. I’ve already booked a flight home, but it isn’t until the weeken-nd.” She stuttered through her tears. “Can I come see you? I just want to make sure you’re alright.” He said immediately, taking any chance he could to care for her. “It’s, it’s okay, Harry. You’re busy, and i-I’m a mess anyways. Thank you for l-letting me out of work tho-though, I’ll make it up to y-you.” She said, but he knew her better than this by now. He knew she’d never ask for help, even if it was from a friend, and just the fact that she called him instead of her closest boss, or Niall for that matter, made his cheeks warm, they were friends first, he decided then.

“Don’t worry a second about work right now, I’m never too busy for you, you know that. I’m going to excuse myself from the meeting and I’ll be at yours in 30 minutes, alright?” He said gently, her heavy breathing on the other side. “It’s going to be okay, doll, I’ve got you.” Harry continued as he grabbed his coat from the hanger and fished his keys out of his pocket, not letting go of his phone for a single second. “Thank you, H.” She just said, as they hung up and Harry was sprinting through the office building to get to the meeting he was supposed to attend minutes ago. He peeked his head through the glass door. “Sorry everyone, Niall can I borrow you for just a second? Important.” Their staff was all very kind and gentle people, Niall excused himself as small talk was rolling around in the meeting area. The staff not wanting to intrude on their conversation. “Y/N’s father has passed away, and she needs a friend right now, she’s all alone and her family lives a plane ride away. I just got a call from her, and she needs someone, will you be handling the meetings for today?” Harry said as he buttoned his coat up, barely looking at Niall, cause all he could think about was her, her, her. Niall put on a knowing smile, but not without feeling his chest tighten for one of his favourite colleagues. “Of course, mate, that’s so shit to hear. Be gentle with her and give her a hug from all of us, yeah?” Niall said, looking for eye contact with Harry. They weren’t a super big company, they were around 20 people and everyone knew each other well, including Y/N. Niall thought he’d tell them she wouldn’t be in for the rest of the week. “I will be, good luck, I’ll phone you tonight.” Harry said, already halfway to the lift as he harshly pressed the buttons in attempt to get a move on, faster. Niall gave harry a smile and nodded. He had to know exactly what Harry was feeling, he was a shit liar and could see right through him.

Harry sped off to Y/N’s apartment, making no stops and pushing the gas a little extra to get to her as fast as he could. He almost ran up the flight of stairs to her apartment, out of breath as he knocked on her door.

And there she was. Still the most beautiful person he’d ever known, despite the tears staining her face, her messy hair and pyjamas still on. It was like another wave of tears hit her the minute she saw Harry, it was like now that he was here, she was going to be okay. “Hey, doll, I’m so sorry.” Harry said as Y/N crashed into his arms, her body heavy and limp from the crying, panic and absolute bottomless darkness she found herself in. Harry had shivers running down his back, just being able to hold her like this, comfort her. His arms wrapped around her, his cheek pressing to the top of her head as he breathed her in and continued whispering affirming words to her. Without letting go of her, Harry stepped them inside her apartment, closing the door behind him with his foot. “Shhh, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, love.” He continued, pulling her head out of his chest and tear stained shirt, his thumbs drying her cheeks and looking her in her eyes. “I know it’s difficult right now, but I’m here to help, alright? C’mon, let’s get you settled, yeah?” He continued. She couldn’t have possibly missed his loving gazes and soft language. She couldn’t have possibly missed how he without any doubt took her into his chest to calm her down. She couldn’t have possibly missed how Harry’s heart was beating out of his chest when he held her so close.

Harry took her into her lounge, witnessing a mess of tissues, her open laptop and a now ice-cold cup of tea on the table. Y/N was still burrowed in Harry’s chest, searching for any kind of comfort she could find. In this moment, she didn’t care that he was her boss, that he had hired her months before to be an addition to his very successful team of workers. She knew it was a strange situation to be in, and to be such good friends with your boss, but with her being so new to the London, sha wanted to grab and hold onto the people she had. And Harry was a very special friend to Y/N, she really liked him as a friend, but it was difficult to not harbour feelings for the man, affectionate, kind and clever as he is. She tried her best to keep things as casual as possible between them, but she was stumbling in the dark right now, looking for whatever lifeline she could grab, and Harry showed up. Of course he did.

Harry settled her down in the lounge, now on a mission to do whatever he could to make her feel at least a little bit better. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, kiss her, stroke her wild hair and paint soft circles on her skin with his fingers but he had to draw a line. He couldn’t use this situation to his advantage, this wasn’t about him and his feelings.

Harry knew her well by know, she couldn’t function in a messy environment, so he took the first step, that was deemed appropriate enough, and started cleaning up and cozying up her lounge area. He removed all the tissues, wiped down her table and made her a new steaming hot cup of tea. He lit a candle, and put on some soft, but not too sad music for her in the background. She protested, of course, not wanting to bother him, it was almost embarrassing that he had to take care of her in this way; but for Harry it was an act of pure love. Of course he would do absolutely everything and anything for her, even if it was picking up her snotty tissues.

As he finished, he settled down on the other side of her sofa where she was laid down. Her crying had settled, she didn’t have a single tear left in her eye. At this point he was just staring at the candle in front of her, trying to focus her energy on something else other than the trainwreck that was her current situation. Harry sighed as he looked over at her. “Thank you for being here, Harry.” Y/N mumbled quietly, not letting her eyes drift away from the flame. “You don’t have to thank me; you know I’d do anything for you.” Harry answered her, his warm hand coming to give her a comforting squeeze around her ankle. She just nodded.

There they sat, Harry’s hand still on her ankle, at loss for action or words. “Is there anything I can do, at all, to help you? I know it’s a stupid question, I know there’s physically nothing I can do to make this any better, but if there is anything, please let me help.” Harry said into the still air of the room. A few more tears welled up in her eyes; he was so kind to her. “C-can I have a hug? I know it’s not proper but I coul-” Y/N said quietly, almost ashamed to be asking such a thing from him, but she really needed him right now. Harry let a puff of air escape his lungs, almost relieved at her words as sat up slightly and opened his arms for her. “C’mere, sweet girl.” Harry let the words slip from his mouth so easily, he couldn’t help but call her those sweet names when she was like this. And Harry often did call her those names, she didn’t seem to mind.

Without another word she turned over on the sofa, crawling her way up into his arms, and letting his scent embrace her and calm her down. His warm chest and comforting strokes to her back. Harry was trying hard to keep his cool with her so close to him, and tried to emit calmness in hopes that she could feel it too. And it wasn’t just a hug, it was more of a cuddle. But in that moment, they both needed it more than anything else.

---

After that day at her apartment, Harry and Y/N had become even closer. Y/N had gone to see her family for the weekend, and Harry had assured her that she could stay longer if she needed to. She was slowly coming out of her hazy mind, thinking more clearly, but she was still barely functioning. Grief is hard. It’s cruel, dark and endless. Y/N’s mind was constantly racing between the final time she saw her dad, their memories, and all the things she had to do that was piling up over the week. Harry was checking in on her constantly, texting, calling, showing up with dinner or helping her with the most simple tasks, that felt huge and impossible in her state of mind.

Y/N was going back to work tomorrow, and although she dreaded the pitying looks and comforting hugs, although she really wanted to get back to her life. Not to forget what had happened with her father, but more to kickstart herself, she knew she didn’t want to lose herself in this grief, so she had to at least try and do something about it.

Harry was taking up a big chunk of her mind as well. As if she wasn’t falling for him before all this, she was now hopelessly lovesick over someone she couldn’t have. She didn’t want it to turn out this way, and she had thought about all possible scenarios for them to maybe, just maybe have a chance together, but was constantly reminded of the one thing that made her heart ache more than anything – he probably didn’t want her. He was just the best human alive, supporting and cheering for his friends, she knew he was like this with all of his friends, he couldn’t possibly not be. She shouldn’t mistake his kindness and generosity for being in love with her.

---

Harry felt like he was going to explode at any given time. They had spent so much time together in the last few weeks, and now that she was coming back to work, full time, he wasn’t sure if he could handle just seeing her without giving her a good cuddle or asking how she’s doing. He knows that as a boss, this is the last thing he should be doing and thinking about, but Harry had never felt like this. It had been months of torture not having her the way he wanted, and he felt completely blinded by the love he felt. Even so far as considering leaving pleasing to Niall just so he could maybe be with her. That was an insane thought though, he was still pretty sure that Y/N didn’t even reciprocate those feelings for him, and he was weighing his options of telling her what he felt or if he was going to take it to his grave. He didn’t want to risk her career, and if they actually got together, he wasn’t sure how the company would take it. HR would hate it, even though it wasn’t forbidden to date a coworker.

This was what his mind was racing on and on about, and he felt like he was going to accidentally expose himself soon if he didn’t say anything.

He had to talk to Niall. He was his best friend, his COO. Harry knew that he was blinded by the love he had inside of him, he needed someone with a clear mind.

“Niall, I need you here for a short meeting, it’s personal though so don’t bring anyone with you.” Harry texted Niall after lunch that day. He wasn’t functioning properly, he felt incapacitated from all of this love that he had nowhere to put, and it was time to come clean to someone, although Niall already knew some of the feelings he was harbouring for Y/N.

Not even 2 minutes later, Niall popped into Harry’s office, closing and locking the door. His office at leas had some frosted glass, so they wouldn’t be totally exposed. “What can I do for you, lad?” Niall said as he sat down across from where Harry was sitting, at his desk. Harry looked deep in thought, his arm leaning on the armrest of his chair, chin supported by his hand. He didn’t even know how to say it, but he could feel a word vomit coming up his throat as the silence grew bigger. “I don’t know what to do, Niall.” Harry said, eyes glazing over as the iceberg finally tipped over, and everything came to the surface. Niall instantly looked worried about his friend, not yet knowing where he was going with all of this. Niall leaned forward in his seat, eyes on Harry as he watched him rub his eyes to rid them from tears coming through.

“I’m so in love with her and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I can’t do anything without thinking of her, I feel totally incapacitated. But I know that if I tell her this, her career could be at risk. I want to let her know, I need to, but it could go wrong in so many ways. She probably doesn’t even feel the same way I do, and I don’t think I could live with that. I’d rather not tell her and keep her in my life for as long as I can…And I know it sounds dramatic, but I’m desperate at this point, Niall, It’s been seven months and I-“ Harry trailed off as he rubbed his eye once again, refusing to let another tear fall for this girl. He was rambling, almost incoherent at times, but Niall listened to him.

Niall knew, he knew without Harry even mentioning her name. It was obvious that they were both in love with each other. The whole office basically knew, except for Harry and Y/N. And for this, Niall wanted to almost laugh at this immensely dense friend of his, but he kept it to himself, aware that this was probably paining Harry more than he knew.

“Harry, I’m going to tell this to you straight and you need to listen to me.” Niall said, no readable look on his face. Harry readied himself for a proper metaphorical fist to the face. He knew this wasn’t right, he was her boss for chirst’s sake. Niall continued. “I think the whole office knows that you’re both in love with each other except for you two. And I need you to get your house in order because I can’t watch this anymore. You’re going to tell her, and you’re doing it tonight. Y/N just left for her half-day and I suggest you call her up right now and see her tonight.” Harry is just staring blankly at Niall, not completely sure that he heard him right. He just starts nodding. And then the tears come. It was relief in some way, and although he still wasn’t sure about her response if he told her, there was still something there for them to build on. “Niall, I-. What if it all goes wrong, I’m her fucking boss, what do I do if she becomes uncomfortable at her own workplace, she’s a genius, I’m going to have to be the one that leaves.” Harry stuttered. “You’re not going to spend a single second thinking about that just yet, because it might not even happen. In fact, I don’t think it will. You know, she’s talking about you all the time. And she has these disgusting puppy eyes every time you just walk past or even glance at her direction. This needs to end. Call her.” Niall continued, supporting his friend. Niall really did think they were endgame, he could already see it when she had her interview here, all those months ago. Harry nodded. And in a moment of bravery, he got out his phone and pressed her contact information.

Y/N’s heart grew when she saw Harry’s contact on her phone. She didn’t waste a second picking up. “Hey, there bossman, everything alright?” She chirped on the other end of the line. Harry’s heart was beating out of his chest. “Y/N.” He just said, as her blood ran cold. She felt like she was in trouble. Had she forgotten something important? Did she do something to offend him? Y/N was thinking at a million miles per hour, every thought she had ever had about Harry was coursing through her brain at the same time. Harry continued. “I was just wondering if I could come see you later, I have something I need to speak to you about.” Harry said, trying his best not to let his emotions spill into his speech. “Harry? Are you alright? I’m free now, do you want me to come back to the office? I just left.” Y/N said. She could tell this wasn’t the regular hang out or check in like in the past two weeks. “I’m alright, love. And don’t turn around. Can I pick you up at 6 and we could go to mine?” Harry said, looking at Niall who was still sitting across from him, nodding and giving him a thumbs up like a child doing a prank call. Harry’s nicknaming made her slightly calmer, maybe he just had a stressful day. Although, he’d never offered her to come to his, if they were hanging out they were always at hers. “Of course, that sounds good. I’ll be outside by 6, then?” Y/N replied. “Yeah. I’ll see you later, okay?”. Harry said and then hung up the phone.

---

Harry’s hands were shaking on the steering wheel of his range rover. When he had gotten home from his office he stormed around his penthouse, cleaning up any mess that he could detect. He made sure he had something to serve her, and some snacks in case they wanted some. Every thought he had about telling her, he tried to steer away. Instead he cleaned up, took a shower, did some nervous pacing around, and now finally, he was behind the wheel, minutes from Y/N’s apartment. It was all or nothing, now. And he thought about every likely outcome for what was about to happen, he just couldn’t stop stressing out about it.

He didn’t want to mess this up. That thirst, longing, yearning feeling for connection had immediately been quenched the minute he met her. The person he had been waiting for. And maybe, if it didn’t turn out the way he was hoping, all those dreams of a love so deep maybe wasn’t meant for him. And maybe it would be okay if that was the outcome. Harry wasn’t sure he wanted anyone else but her.

Y/N was stood outside her apartment complex as harry drove up. She looked heart-stoppingly beautiful, like she always did. She had been getting a little better sleep and routines for the past few days, which had been nice to see for Harry. He was such a worry wart when it came to her.

Y/N enthusiastically threw the door open to his car, stepping in as if it was nothing.

“Hi, doll.” Harry said sweetly. “Hi, H.” She replied. “So, what’s this mystery topic you can’t talk about over the phone, huh? Top secret business?” Y/N continued, wiggling her eyebrows in suspense. A smile crept on Harry’s face for maybe the first time today. “I’ll tell you when we get to mine, yeah? You might be surprised, who knows?”

Y/N stepped out of the elevator that led directly into Harry’s penthouse. Her chin was on the floor, she didn’t realize he lived somewhere like THIS. She was almost ashamed of the fact that he had ever hung out in her neighbourhood. She was absolutely well paid as a senior creative at Pleasing, but this was a whole other level. “Sit down, cuppa tea?” Harry led her to his lounge, overlooking the city skyline. “Mhm, yes please.” She said, instead going over to the windows rather than sitting down. Harry disappeared for a second and she could hear him put the kettle on. You could see the office from his window, just barely.

Y/N zoned out in some kind of philosophical thought, looking at the skyline, thinking about her current life. But at the forefront of her mind, she was always thinking about Harry. And now she was at his place.

“Cuppa tea, for you, love.” Harry mentioned, putting their two mugs down on a table by the sofas. Y/N stood still, looking at all the lights as she could feel Harry’s presence behind her. She felt his eyes looking at her, and she craned her neck to take a good look at him. Y/N is thinking that he is getting more beautiful by the day. His defined features lit up by the twinkling lights of the city, and his perfectly unperfect chestnut brown curls, framing his face in the most delicious looking way. A pang of adoration fought it’s way into her chest, but she couldn’t let him know.

“Y/N, I really need to tell you something. And before you say anything I really need you to listen to me and let me explain. Can you come sit down?” Y/N was shaken out of her daydream with his serious words. Y/N could just nod, plopping down on the sofa, facing him as he tried to relax against the back of the sofa. Y/N did her best to put on a calm and settled look, smiling at him when she could tell that he was getting nervous. This was going to be way worse than she was expecting, she’s sure now.

“I don’t even know how to say this.” Harry started. It took everything in Y/N’s body to stay still and not question those words from him, he had told her to just listen at first. Her thoughts were racing, as she stared at him, waiting for more words to come out of his mouth. He doubted his voice, trying to get words out and then it was like he was changing his mind. Over and over again. Y/N reached for his hand that was resting on his thigh, fingers lacing together as she gave him a long, hard squeeze. Harry looked to their interlocked hands, carefully stroking her hand with his callous fingers. He gained courage enough to look straight at her. ”I’m in love with you. I have been since the day I first saw you.” The words left Harry’s mouth as he gauged her reaction to them in real time. Harry continued, “And I feel like an asshole, because I know I’m putting you in a tricky situation with me being selfish and telling you this. But I also want you to know that if you want nothing to do with me, or this situation, that’s okay. I-I just had to tell you, because I felt like I was going to drown If I didn’t.” Harry looked right into her eyes. “I was fucking drowning.” He said, almost like he was all out of air, or breathing oxygen for the first time. Y/N couldn’t believe a single word coming from his mouth. This had to be a prank, it couldn’t be. And if it is true, maybe she wouldn’t feel sad ever again. “Harry…” Y/N got out before he stopped her again, grabbing her same hand with his other one. “I’ve been realizing a lot of things lately, and one of them-.” Harry continued. Y/N could see the gears turning in his head, trying to get the right words out, but she couldn’t wait another second for her lips to collide with his. Her eyes glazed over as she realized that he wasn’t going to let her speak. So instead, she took control. “Harry!” She said loudly. Moving from her position on the sofa, towards him and settling herself in his lap. “Shhhh, I don’t want to hear another word about that, just tell me again.” Y/N said as she got closer to his face. Lips calling out to one another. Harry couldn’t breathe. Not with her this close, with her breath on his lips, her thighs hugging his, his hands around her back. It was Harry’s turn to get teary eyed. It just dawned on him what her answer to his speech would be. “Just tell me.” Y/N breathed against his lips. “Please.” She was almost begging to tell her those words again. Just to know if they were true. “I love you, I’m in love with you.” The words left his mouth like they had been sitting on his lips for his whole existence. Y/N let a watery smile overtake her features, and a chuckle left her mouth. “Thank god.” She whispered as she finally pressed her lips against his. His pink, puffy lips danced with hers as their tongues licked into each other’s mouths. It wasn’t like any first kiss; this was a long time coming. It was desperate, passionate and everything they had been craving. Their wet lips then collided in a smattering of pecks, one after the other being placed on their lovers’ lips. Wanting to do absolutely anything except speaking words right now. “I love you, H.” It was Y/N’s turn to speak, in between desperate kisses. Harry was seeing stars as she said those words loud, her nickname for him feeling like it’s burning a hole through his heart.

It was hard for Harry to be vulnerable. He only really was with his family, and Niall. He couldn’t even remember how it felt to have a possible partner to be vulnerable with. Someone he could pour his heart out to, someone who listened, and who vowed to take care of him. Y/N has stepped into his life and cracked open his whole being, it felt like he was on fire from top to toe from all the emotions and tenseness releasing. Y/N let go from his lips as she felt wetness smeared onto her cheeks. Harry was full on crying now. Y/N put her hands around his cheeks, drawing soft patterns on his cheeks with her thumbs, strategically removing the tears from his eyes. “I-I’m so happy, I promise, I ju-st…” Harry breathed, looking at her with wet, wild eyes, his face leaning into her hold. “I know, it’s alright. It’s been a long time coming, yeah?” Y/N chuckled out, in attempt to lift the moods. Harry nodded, smiling to her. His hands moved to her wrists, holding her in place. “I’m going to tell you everything I’ve been feeling these past few months, but the girl I love just told me she loves me too, so I just need to breathe for a second. Take a good look at her.” Harry joked, eyes still focused on Y/N’s face, his gaze bouncing all over her features, drinking her in. Y/N just nodded to him, her love for the man in front of her glowing in her chest. It had been a long, long time since she had felt like this.

This wasn’t at all what Y/N had in mind when he had called her earlier that day. She really had no idea that he was in love with her, she really had no idea that he felt the same way she had, especially in the last few weeks, with them becoming extra close since her father passed away.

Y/N agreed to stay over at Harry’s that night. She didn’t bring a single thing with her to prepare her for an overnight stay, but Harry had convinced her that he had everything that she would need. And she really didn’t want to let him go, not when their night had turned out like this, maybe she would just stay here, always.

They had barely stopped touching since the moment he told her. Always at least one hand on one another; they had a lot of time to make up for.

As they settled in his bed for the night, it was still early, barely 10. They had changed into soft, comfortable clothing, and Y/N got to borrow a set from him. There they laid, Harry was behind her, strong arms wrapped around her frame, fingers lightly touching and playing. Harry breathed in her scent, burrowing his face into her neck and soft, lavender scented hair.

They talked for hours, pouring their hearts out about the past months that they had known each other. But the tears had since long left their eyes, they had each other now, and there was not a single broken heart in sight.

“I still feel like this is all in my head. Like I’m going to wake up from this dream and I’ll be as fucking lonely and sad as I always am.” Harry said into her neck, placing a light kiss after he finished his sentence. “I know. But it isn’t a dream, although my mind is definitely trying to tell me otherwise.” She replied to him. Her eyes focused on the lights from the city dancing on the walls. Suddenly Y/N turned around in his arms, so that they were facing eachother. “Hi.” She said. “Hi, sweet girl:” Harry’s reply came so easily, and he was finally able to say it whenever they wanted to. “I think we need to talk about work, what do we say to HR, do we even say anything? I know it’s all still so new, but I want you to know that I’m all in…if you want that as well.” Y/N continued, a worried look on her face. The thought was bothering Harry as well, but as things had turned out well for them, his positive mindset was telling him that it was going to be alright. And work, HR and people’s opinions was about the last thing he wanted to talk to her about. At least for tonight.

They talked for hours, kissed for hours. In this room, it was just them, Harry and Y/N. They had both been craving this for so long, Y/N had thought of him so much. How it would feel like to be loved by him, what it was like to feel his hands on her body, in her hair, on her cunt. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about it some nights when she was all by herself in her apartment, with her hands between her legs. Heavy breath lingering in the air as his name left her lips in a desperate call for him to do anything to her, anything he wanted. She had felt guilty about it, of course. But now that they were in his bed together, those illicit thoughts were starting to creep back into her head. Now that he was touching all over her, she wanted more.

Her lips reached for his neck, leaving wet kisses and small bites around his soft spot, as Harry’s breathing got a little heavier. “Love, what are you up to, hm?” He said in the gentlest voice, knowing where this was going as her kisses had suddenly changed from pure and loving, to slightly more sexual. “Tell me what you need, pet. I’ll give you anything, do you know that?” Harry continued, as he brought his lips to hers. Y/N almost mewled out a reply, mind fuzzy from his scent and sweet talking. “I need you, everywhere. Please. Just do anything, I’m yours.” Her eyes closing as Harry placed kisses all over her face, nose, cheeks and corners of her mouth. “You’re mine now, huh? I love to hear those words from you, you have no idea. But I need you to tell me what to do pet, what do you want?” He tried again, wanting to make sure that she knew what she was asking for, and wasn’t just caught up in her hazy mind. “I need you to touch me, k-kiss me, I just want you, H.” Y/N said desperately, in an almost whisper. Harry chuckled at the sweet girl in front of him. Of course he was going to take care of her. “Alright, love I’ve got you, yeah? But I need you to tell me if there’s something you need or if you want me to stop, do you understand?” Harry spoke clearly to her now, looking into her eyes to make sure that his message got through. “Yes. Yes, H, I want you.” She got out, her hands now underneath his t-shirt, nails scraping against his stomach. Harry’s hands touched her all over, keeping her close to his body, his hands travelled south and dipped into the waistband of her borrowed sweatpants. He stroked her soft skin over the thighs, bum and finally stopped on the outside of her underwear. Their mouths connected, and Harry was trying to stay focused on her pleasure, on the ques and clues she was leaving him with her touches and the way she moved. “Please, H” She moaned out, so zeroed in o finally getting a little taste of him on her tongue. “Shhh, pet, you’ll get all of me, don’t worry.” He tried to reassure her as his hand grazed over her underwear, laying soft and gentle strokes over her underwear, right on her clit. He moved devilishly slow, and Y/N was aching for more, higher pleasure from him. A moan slipped from Y/N’s lips and it was like all of the blood in Harry’s body rushed to his cock, almost making him lightheaded. Harry’s fingers that were moving on the outside of her underwear was now moving said underwear out of the way, being able to fully feel how wet she had become just from a few touches. Y/N had started to tug on his t-shirt. “Off, I want it off” she said to him in the dimly lit room, wanting to see all of him. Harry chuckled at the silly, sweet girl in his bed and removed himself from her, pulling his shirt over his head aswell as removing his sweats, just in his underwear mow. His next mission was to get Y/N out of her kit. He tugged on her t-shirt. “Is this alright? Wanna see you.” Harry whispered in her ear as his large hands were already underneath the t-shirt she was wearing, massaging her soft sides. Without a word from her, she sat up, and pulled it all off, discarding the t-shirt and her bra on the floor. “You’re so fucking beautiful, love.” Harry said, without tearing his gaze away from her breasts. His mouth instantly coming towards her belly and kissing up towards her boobs, wrapping his lips around one of her nipples, fingers tugging and rolling the other one. A moan ripping out of Harry’s chest the second he got a taste of her. “Shit, H, that feels…” Y/N moaned out, fingers running through Harry’s hair, slightly tugging on it. Harry continued kissing her chest, any skin he could to touch or kiss, he was there. Desperate to taste every inch of skin that she’d offer him.

Harry’s mouth started to travel down Y/N’s belly, teasing at the waistband with his green eyes looking into her’s for permission to remove them. Y/N slightly lifted her hips to make it easier for him, and her underwear and sweats were on the floor in barely a second, his body falling in between her legs, as he continued to kiss anywhere he could get to. “Are you going to let me have a taste, pet? Yeah?” He said to her, eyes still looking into hers. Another “please” fell from her lips, eager to get him on her. “Hmm, so kind to me, yeah? I’ll show you my worth, I promise you.” Harry said with a gentle tone, leaving her even more needy and ready for him to do something; anything. His lips finally met with her wet cunt, licking broad, strong swipes over her entrance and clit. Harry moaned at the taste of her, his eyes falling shut; he’d been dreaming about tasting her like this, but this was way better than anything he could’ve imagined. Y/N was writhing in her place on the mattress, her hips chasing after his tongue and heavy moans escaping her throat as he continued to kiss, lick and poke at her with his tongue. “You’re so goo-d, Harry, fuck! You’re mine, please,” Her moans encouraged him and simultaneously made his cock even harder, if that was even possible. Harry’s arms came up, one arm over her hips to slightly still her, and one over her breast, teasing her nipple. “I’m yours, don’t worry pet.” He replied to her, letting go of her messy, wet cunt for just a second before diving back in. Y/N’s hand flew to his hair, searching for anything to hold on to in her intense amount of pleasure. “Please, I’m going to come, you’re gonna make me com-e, please” Y/N was moaning out, almost screaming at this point, to deep into her pleasure to realise how loud she as being. Harry didn’t mind it at all. The hand that was previously on her breast moved down to her cunt, a finger playing at her entrance before pushing two of them inside her, slightly curving his fingers as he could feel her clenching around them. Y/N could almost black out at this point. She could barely remember the last time someone else had made her come this hard, it wasn’t usually happening at all with her previous partners. Her breathing started to get heavier as she came closer to her climax. “Come for me, pet, let me taste what I’ve worked so hard for. Look at me.” Harry let out, having to rut his hips into the mattress to get some kind of relief, he felt like he could come just by looking at her in this immense state of pleasure. With her eyes locked to his, she came, orgasm ripping through her body, legs trembling as Harry worked her through her orgasm with his mouth and fingers. When she slowly started to come down, Harry’s touches became lighter and more gentle, not wanting to overwhelm her after such an intense orgasm. As Harry’s lips let go of her, he moved to crash down on top of her, kissing her puffy, swollen lips. He had already missed her mouth. “I think I’m going to have to keep you forever, if that’s how you’re going to make me come.” Y/N admitted with a smile, her flushed face close to his and lips lingering on each other. “Darling, you know I wouldn’t mind, I’m here for as long as you want me.” He said back. Now it was her hands that started to travel down to his boxers, slipping inside of his boxers and gently stroking over his cock. “Shit, doll, I’m not going to last if you put your hands and me and I’m planning on at least two more orgasms for you.” Harry shakily breathed against her lips. “Mmmh” Was Y/N’s only reply, instead ridding him of his underwear and mumbling. “Are you clean, please tell me you’re clean I just want to feel you. I have a Nexplanon.” She almost begged him, it felt like too much to just get out of bed in search of a condom. “I got tested after my last partner, I’m clean as well, do you trust me? I could go get a condom, it’s no trouble, pet.” He replied in between kisses.

“No condom, I want to feel all of you. Please?” Her wide eyes looked into his for any kind of regret about it. She trusted him, he had already proven himself to be loyal and trustworthy, and she couldn’t find a single reason not to believe him although Y/N religiously always wore a condom with new partners. “Of course, pet, give you everything, you can trust me. Always so good for me, yeah?” He said, loving her reaction to the words that came out of her mouth. He turned them around, so that he was on his back, with her on top. “I want you on top to start with, okay? You can go as fast or as slow as you’d like, pet, it’s up to you.” Her heart trembled as he encouraged her to feel good with his body, completely trusting her and wanting to go at her pace. Although, her face fell slightly as her confidence wore thin when she had been on top with previous partners. Harry could read her immediately. “Shhh, no frown on that beautiful face, just to start and then I’ll take over when you’re ready, yeah?” He said, sitting up so their naked, upper bodies were flush against each other. “C’mon, doll, take what you want.” He encouraged her as she lined him up and slowly sank down onto him. She was slightly worried about taking him, he was above average in comparison to others and she wasn’t a fan of the pain that it could bring. But as sank down and took all of him, and she had never felt such a spark of pure pleasure as he filled her up. “Fuck me, pet, you feel so good around me, never had anyone feel this good on my cock.” Harry praised her, as she started to slowly grind her hips for some friction. Harry held her close, arms clasped around her upper body for support, as he attached his lips to hers. They moaned into each others mouth as Harry’s encouragement made her more brave and she moved more freely, her hips desperate for more, more of him. She had never felt this good during sex. Y/N’s thighs were burning from the work out she was getting, her belly on fire from him, so deep inside of her. “You feel good, baby? You’re taking my cock so well, look at you.” Harry praised her. She could barely think straight, not even being able to form a single word as more moans escaped from her lips and spilled into his mouth. His lips went to her neck, leaving lovebites, kissing, sucking, not for a second thinking of any marks he was leaving, deciding that he liked it like that. “Harry…” Y/N let out a tired whimper of his name, feeling so close to another orgasm already, but her legs felt like jelly, and she was frustrated that she couldn’t keep up her pace to chase after her climax. “I’ve got you.” Harry replied, giving her a big smile as his hands came up to her sweaty face to get some hairs away from her eyes. He just wanted to see her properly. “Going to let me take care of you? Make you come, again?” Harry continued, a proud, cocky, smile on his lips. Y/N just about had time to nod as he pushed her onto her back onto the mattress, getting up after her and getting on top of her. “This is my favourite…” Harry said into her neck, proceeding to put both of her legs over his shoulder, Harry leaning over her. As he pushed himself back into her, Y/N could swear she was seeing stars, the angle made up for her almost lost orgasm as after just a few strong thrusts, she was barrelling towards her orgasm again. Her hand attempted to slip in between them, to rub her puffy clit, she could taste her orgasm, it was just right there. Harry had realised quickly pulling up her arm and replacing her hand with his. “You’re going to come for me, again, pet? Spoiling me, aren’t you?” Harry laughed, pressing and pinching her clit, as Y/N’s lips attached to his neck. His scent was grounding her as another orgasm rolled through her body, causing her to grip on to Harry hard, pressing herself against him as if he would vanish at any given moment. Y/N’s nails pressed into his biceps, his shoulder blades, earning a grunt from Harry. Every nerve ending in her body was exploding, wanting more him, needing him like water or air.

Harry’s pace didn’t falter, he worked her through her orgasm and continued. The pleasure was so overwhelming, but she didn’t want to stop, she wanted more. “Darling, look what you’re doing to me. Promised you another one though, didn’t i? I’m so close, pet, be gentle with me, alright? Harry stuttered softly to her, kissing her lips as he released her legs from his shoulders, pulling out of her. Wordlessly, he turned her to her side, placing a pillow under her head as he got in behind her and pulled Y/N’s leg up for him to enter her again. Y/N was lost for words, she was in some hazy dream state driven by her lust for him, and not thinking a single thought besides him. “There we go,” Harry whispered to her, his arm encasing her shoulders as his other hand find it’s way back to her clit, in hopes of luring her into another orgasm. Y/N sighed as he picked up his pace again, her head falling back on his shoulder as she let him manipulate her to wherever he wanted. She was almost pissed at this point; she had gone her whole life without having sex that was this could? She had no idea that this is what it could’ve been. And she’s also pissed at herself for missing out on so much time with him, when he had been in love with her this whole time.

“Pet, you’re going to make me come any moment, where do you want it?” Harry’s voice was strained, trying to keep his composure as he neared his end. Y/N could barely get her words out, already feeling her next orgasm growing from those words he said to her. “Inside, come inside me.” She manged to say into the air as she turned her head slightly to catch his lips.

Harry let out an otherworldly moan from that sentence. “So good to me, Y/N, i’m going to come, are you with me?” He grunted out, his thrusts quickening as did his hand on her clit. Y/N was sure she was going to black out by the time they were done, as she felt her orgasm triggered by Harry’s cock steadily poking her g-spot. Y/N just about screamed, hands clawing at Harry’s arms, writhing around in the bed, wanting to get closer to him and get away from him at the same time. She could feel Harry’s cock twitching inside of her and his cum filling her as his pace faltered, giving deep, hard thrusts into her. They were both moaning out, breathing laboured, as they had just ran a marathon. Y/N was now shivering in her post orgasmic state, Harry’s cock still inside of her as he had caught up to reality, placing soft kisses on her neck, jaw, and cheek.

“Did so good for me, you feel okay, pet? I’m honestly kind of pissed that we didn’t get to do this earlier, best I’ve ever had.” Harry mumbled, nose grazing her cheek. Y/N smiled, slowly coming back to reality; their minds had to be connected somehow. Y/N turned around in bed, now facing him on their sides as she clung on to him. Sweaty bodies embracing each other, heartrates still way too high to be healthy. “Mm-hmm.” Was all she could reply to him, as she closed her eyes, taking in his scent, a mixture of sweat, his cologne and pure man, peppery, citrusy. “I don’t even think I could form a proper sentence; you’ve absolutely wrecked me.” Y/N manged to get out, a teasing smile on her lips as their eyes made contact. “Yeah, I was kind of hoping I’d ruin everyone else for you, you’re mine now, huh?” Harry winked at her, an almost comedic tone to his voice, although Y/N could see the hopeful glint in his eyes as he had repeated those words back to her. He can’t fool her that easily. “I am yours. If you’ll be mine.” She said to him, watching a glowing smile spread over his face, a puff of air escaping his lungs, full of all the love he had for her. “I’m all yours, and I have been for a long time.”

#harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #ceo harry styles #ceo!harry #ceorry #harry styles smut

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gretavangroupie · 1 year

Text

Vigilance (Chapter 5)

Word count: 11.7k

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, language, fluff, angst, smut, violence.

This story is a very special collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon. We have been scheming on this one for a while... If you haven't read her stuff, definitely go check it out. If you have, even better! We are taking this one all the way back to the early days, but we will be going into the present, so hold on tight it will be a bumpy ride. Without further ado...

MAY 2018

Pushing through the crowd was a blur, but you never felt more clear of mind. You see Sam approaching them, the crowd stepping to the sides as the two of you barreled through. By this point, a small crowd of people had gathered around them as well, including your dad and the bartender, but they were no match for you and Sam’s speed.

You watch as Sam jumped between the three of them, acting as a protective barrier. You took the opportunity. You felt white hot rage and an overwhelming need to protect rise up in your chest and your fists clench in a way you’d never felt before. You squeezed your right hand over the slide and prepared your body for pain. You wanted this to fucking hurt.

Andy had his back to you, so you grabbed his shoulder to spin him around and face you. Time stood still and flew by you at the same time as you reared back and brought your fist to his face as hard as you could. The blow took him by surprise as his face contorted and twisted, and he hunched down to one side. When he came back up swinging, you were able to dodge his fist, which in his drunken state caused him to stumble. You grabbed him again, and continued to lay into his face before he got his head together to defend himself. You felt a hard left hook fall into the side of your jaw, but you felt no pain.

“You motherfucker!” You screamed as you felt the taste of blood filling your mouth. Your left hand had a grip on his shirt and your fury returned. Your vision went blurry, and you heard people yelling and shuffling around you. The fight had inched its way to the narrow exit hallway, and funneled out most of the people around you.

“Are you really gonna put your hands on them in public?! Fuck you!” You heard Sam scream as he pulled her and Elle behind him, leaving only you and Andy in the hallway. The two of you were wailing on one another, sharing blows to the face and ribs. You hear her yelling at the two of you to stop, you could tell her voice cracking like it does when she starts to cry. You knew Sam was holding the two of them back, as awful as it probably was to watch, everyone knew it needed to happen.

You went blind with adrenaline. You felt like you were outside of your own body, and you were acting on auto-pilot. You found yourself on the floor, fighting to pin Andy down. Sharp stings of pain poked at your hands whenever they touched the floor, and you remember the glasses and bottles flying off the table. Then you remembered she’d hit her head.

Andy was extremely strong, and in his alcohol-fueled rage, his strength was probably amplified. Thankfully you’d managed to get a good angle on his left eyebrow, which had begun to leak blood into his eye and blind him slightly.

All of the sudden you found yourself flying toward the wall behind you, hitting your back with a thud that momentarily knocked the breath out of you. Your vision started to fade a little but you tried your best to get back on your feet. You stood again and used all of your body weight to shove him against the opposite wall. He stumbled sideways and tripped over his own feet, falling to the floor. You jumped on him again, the two of you beginning to tire out and tousle on the floor.

“…put your fucking hands on her again you son of a bitch…I swear to God…” you pushed out through heaves of exhaustion. He looked you in the eyes as you hovered above him, and you saw something in them that you’ve never seen in another human before. Pure, dark, evil rage. His eyes were black and soulless. Then he did something you didn’t expect- he smiled at you.

He fucking wanted this to happen.

He came here looking for this.

How did he know where we were? How did he find her?

You paused and looked at him with confusion. Suddenly you heard a strange sound, and felt wetness splatter across your face. He had spit on you.

This action ignited something in you that brought the rage tumbling back into your gut. You felt like you wanted to hurt him. Bad. You continued to lay blows to his stupid snickering face.

The next thing you knew you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your torso tightly, ripping you down the hallway. Danny. You struggled against him and tried your best to wriggle free. “Let me fucking go Danny!” you yelled. You quickly found yourself being thrown out the back door of the bar, and then being held against the wall. You used what body strength you had left to push whoever was holding you to calm your flailing limbs. Your eyes were glossed over, your ears had gone deaf, and you had a pounding in the back of your head. You were having a hard time forming sentences, but words were falling out of your mouth without any real thought behind them.

You felt a strong hand press to your chest and a face come close to yours.

“Hey hey hey...calm down…it’s me…I’m right here...look at me asshole, hey!” Familiar hands grabbed your face forcing you to stare into the eyes of your twin, instantly bringing you back down to earth. Damn Josh and his ever-present calming effect.

“Chill the fuck out Jake! Hey! It’s over!” You felt yourself take the first breath you’d taken in a while. It hurt to fill your lungs. Your eyes hurt so bad it was hard to blink. You brought your hands to them to wipe away the blood, and you were met with bright blue flashes of lights.

“FUCK!” you yelled as you bent down into a squat and held your hands behind your head. You paused there for a minute collecting your thoughts. The pain of your fresh injuries was beginning to set in to your bones.

“Where is she? Where did they go?” you asked no one in particular. You sprang back up to stand. “Where’s Sam?”

“The girls are fine, mom has them safe and going back to the house.” Josh answered.

“Son of a BITCH!” You turned around and smacked your hands hard against the cool brick wall. Sam was suddenly by your side pacing around.

“Where’s Andy?” You asked him.

“Bartender and few guys have him around the front of the building.” He sucked his teeth. “I swear to God I’m going to fucking kill him the next time I see him.” Sam said quietly. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes with shaking hands, lit one, and took a long drag before exhaling. You quickly picked it from between his fingers and repeated his action.

“Shit, man.” Sam said as you handed the cigarette back. You both inspected your hands, cut, bloody, bruised and already swelling over the knuckles. Tiny sparkles of glass litter your palms, blood pouring from the cuts. You flexed your fingers, and pain radiated way up into your forearms. Unfortunately, you knew that exact pain all too well.

Sam’s eyes look down at your mangled hands, before looking back up to you. A look of concern painted across his face.

“It’s fine. I’ll be alright,” you said trying to reassure not only him, but also yourself..

Even in your adrenaline rush, you realized you’d never seen Sam like this. You’ve also never felt a madness like this in your life. Your knees buckled and you fell to the ground and leaned against the wall. A flashlight was in your face within seconds.

“Care to tell me what the hell happened here kid?” the uniformed cop spat.

——

After talking to the police and telling your side of the story, which in all honesty was blurry after the last memory of Andy thrashing around, you were left behind in the parking lot with Josh, Sam, and Danny. The four of you paced around wordlessly for a minute or two, trying to shake off the lingering adrenaline.

Finally Josh flung the heavy metal back door open. “Let’s go the fuck home.”

The bar had emptied, understandably enough. You climbed the steps to the stage and began quickly and haphazardly packing up your gear. Taking special care not to dig the glass shards in further. Your guitar still laid on its face with the neck between two of Danny’s drum stands, strap barely hanging off the hi-hat. You cringed at how you treated your most prized possession in that moment.

“Hey,” you heard Sam quietly from behind you. You turned and found his face sullen. He tilted his head to motion for you to join him behind a curtain. Once you were tucked away, Sam grabbed your hand and turned it face up. He gently plopped a cold metal object into it. You looked down to find your slide, covered in blood and tiny specks of dirt. You glanced up to Sam and found yourself lost for words.

“Thought you might want to hide that somewhere safe before anyone found it,” he said quietly. His voice was shaky and his eyes had glossed over. You felt yourself wanting nothing more than the embrace of your baby brother. You wrapped your arms around his bony shoulders, and patted his back. His arms slowly mirrored yours.

“I’m sorry brother...” was all you could manage through the lump in your throat. And you meant it. You suddenly felt a wave of emotions coming over you. Sorrow, regret, empathy...but most of all guilt. This had turned into such a mess. And it was your fault it had gotten this bad. You should have gone with your gut the very first time you noticed Andy acting the way he did. But you didn’t. And you never really told Sam about your suspicions. You should have tried harder to protect her. Now look what's happened. He hurt her. He hurt Elle.

Sam’s embrace tightened as he let out a quick huff.

“Don’t be sorry. If anything I should be thanking you.” You pulled away and grabbed his shoulders to look at him head on. You felt your eyebrows come together in a frown.

“Dude, why would you thank me? I basically stole your girl. And I lied to you about it. For years. I should’ve been up front with you from the get go. And now look where we are. Fuckin disaster.” Sam stood looking at you wordlessly.

You stepped back and ran your shaking fingers through your hair, running over the night’s events in your head. You turned around to go back to packing.

“You know, I think she loves you Jake.” Sam mumbled behind you in an almost whisper. That was enough to stop you in your tracks. You turned back to him. He took a deep breath. “I think she always has– Loved you…I know she loved me too, but not like she does you. Not in the same way. I should’ve seen it from a mile away, but I was being too selfish with her and our friendship.” He rubbed his face. “I didn’t want to…risk losing her as a friend if I ever…told her.” He cleared his throat. “You should’ve seen the look on her face while you two were fighting. Like she couldn’t bear to be there another second but didn’t want to leave you. I saw it in her eyes.”

You couldn’t give him a response. For the second time tonight, it felt like the blood had been drained from your body. You felt lightheaded at the realization of everything that had happened. The residual rage, the flashbacks of Andy so forcefully putting his hands on them, being grateful the cops were essentially looking the other way. So much worse could have happened.

And Sam. Your youngest sibling. The one that for some reason, you’ve always felt like you had to protect the most. And here you were, breaking his heart too. The guilt was enough to shatter you into a million pieces.

“Thanks for kicking his ass.” Sam laughed and finally broke you from your mental crisis. He lightly punched your shoulder, which caused you to flinch. Here comes the soreness.

“Yeah that was pretty badass wasn’t it?” you joked. The two of you returned to the stage to finish loading up. It felt stupid to laugh. All you wanted to do was go to her, and so, you would.

You knew Sam’s suspicion was right. You knew she loved you, and you loved her too. One day you’d tell her how much you love her. How in love you were with her. You’d tell her. Soon. That thought alone was enough to suppress every bad emotion you’d had tonight.

HER POV

The quiet ride to the Kiszka’s felt like it took years, even though it was only a ten minute drive. You found yourself in the backseat of Karen’s SUV, cuddled up with Elle while the air blew on your tear-soaked faces. You had your arms wrapped around one another, each trying your best to console the other. You felt so sorry, so responsible for everything that had happened tonight. Fucking Andy. What an asshole.

You found yourself thinking that anything bad that would ever happen to him, he deserved. You laid your pounding head against the window and watched the passing streetlights while Elle rested her head on your shoulder. Neither of you spoke, but only tried to quiet the sobs that were still attacking your chests.

You’d been warned about dating a man like Andy. You’d seen the late night TV shows about men who would turn on their partners in the blink of an eye. You’d been told the stories of women who had ignored the signs and ended up much worse off than you were right now.

‘Man’, Such a powerful word for such a sorry person. He wasn’t a man. He was anything but. He was a chameleon. An actor. And he was good at it. He preyed on you until you fell for him. He displayed all the right actions that a good boyfriend should. He was sweet and caring when he wanted to be. He bought you things, he took you out, showed you off, listened to you, was gentle…but then…suddenly he wasn’t. It was like a switch flipped, and all the good things about him did a 180 and he turned into a monster. The drinking. The flirting with other girls. The secret texts. His unwarranted grabs and pulls on your arms that left bruises…The off-putting things he would say around his friends..the times you felt guilt tripped into sleeping with him…

Fuck him.

Fuck everything he was and is.

Tonight, he put his hands on you for the last time. And you hoped to god he was suffering for it.

Jake.

Your sweet Jake. He’d gone to bat for you in the most horribly heroic way he knew how. It turned your stomach thinking back on the image of he and Andy throwing punch after punch to each other’s bodies. You’d never been one for physical violence to prove a point, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t thankful someone finally put Andy in his place, even if it had to happen like this.

The car shifting into park jostled you away from your thoughts. The cab lights came on as Karen came around to open your door.

“Come on girls, let’s get you inside. I’ll make you some hot chocolate.” she mumbled a few other sweet motherly expressions while she ushered the two of you into the house.

It felt like hours passed as you and Elle sat on the couch, both sullen and blank. Your grip on the once hot mug, firm and unrelenting. Your eyes scanned the wall in front of you, met with photos of the guys who defended you tonight. Guys who should have never had to do that. You are snapped back to the present as the front door opens. Slowly they begin to file into the silent house. First Sam, then Josh, finally Jake.

Sam immediately goes to Elle, ushering her upstairs and sending you a sorrowful look. You placed your mug on the coffee table as you heard Jake shut the door. Casting your eyes to the floor you watch his boots step into view in front of you.

He squats down to meet you at eye level, “Come on. Let’s go home.” he whispers, his hand stained with dried blood resting gently on your knee.

Your eyes meet his, and you are horrified by the state of the man in front of you. His face is bloody and swollen, a blood vessel in his eye burst and the skin around it is already turning a deep purple. You swallow back the sob in your throat as your shaky hand reaches for his cheek.

“Jake I’m so sorry.” you can hardly manage through your tears.

His hand reaches up to grab yours, and you feel the sharp pieces of glass deeply embedded in his hands as he grips your hand tightly in his.

“No. Don’t apologize. This was not your fault.” he demands.

You blink back the tears to refocus your vision on him as he stands up, pulling you with him.

Interlacing his injured fingers with yours you make your way back to the front door, stepping outside with a shaky breath.

The ride back to his house was quiet, his hand never leaving your thigh. Glancing down at it you caught brief glimpses of the swollen knuckles as the light from streetlights would flash into the cabin. Each glance just as painful as watching it happen in real time.

As you stepped out of the car you made your way to his front door as he grabbed his guitar case from the backseat. You hear a muffled groan leave his chest as he wrapped his hand around the handle.

He is hurting.

As he approaches the front door you see his brow furrowed clearly choking back the pain he is riddled with. He sets the guitar case down with a sigh of relief as he unlocks the front door and pushes it open. Before he can reach for it, you grab his guitar case and bring it inside with you, unable to bear the thought of him being in pain for a second longer.

You sit on the couch, eyes meeting his, silently asking him to join you. He moves slowly across the room before taking a seat next to you. He lets his head flop back onto the back of the couch letting out an exhausted sigh. “I just wanted you to see me play, for real.” he breathes out. His eyes are shut and his breathing is shallow. He is completely spent.

You feel the crack shoot through your heart, so violently it nearly takes your breath away. “Baby I saw you. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I think that's part of the reason I didn’t even see him come in.” you gush, placing your hand on his forearm. You run your fingers down his arm to his hands, cut and bruised and still glittering with glass.

“Let me clean you up. Please.” you beg.

He lifts his head from the couch and forces his eyes open, nodding his head slowly. You pull him up and lead him to the bathroom where you place him on the closed toilet seat. You open the bathroom drawers furiously grabbing the items you need and placing them on the countertop. The bathroom lighting was dim, desperately in need of a new lightbulb, but you would have to make do.

You wet the washcloth in the sink before you begin wiping away the dried blood covering his face and hands. He winces in pain as you drag the cloth over his palms as gently as you can.

The guilt is absolutely eating you alive at this point. How could you let this happen? How could you let him do this to himself? For you?

You swallow back the guilt, trying to remain calm as you reach for the tweezers on the counter. You sit on the edge of the bathtub as you hold his hands in yours. Your eyes flick up to meet his, “This isn’t going to feel good…but I will go as fast as I can.”

His hands are shaking, worse than you have ever seen, the fatigue in his muscles manifesting. “Baby, try to stay still, just breathe.” you say taking his hand and flipping it over. You realize just how bad it is as you look at the multitude of cuts.

“Oh Jake…” you whisper, a tear slipping down your cheek. You swallow harshly as you bring the small metal tweezers to the first glimmer of glass. You grasp it as gently as you can as his face contorts in pain and a hiss leaves his mouth.

“I know. I know, I’m so sorry Jake. this is all my fault…I...I–” you stammer through tears.

“It’s okay… just…keep going.” he practically begs through his own shaky breath.

Twenty-seven. Twenty-seven shards of glass lie on the countertop, stained red with blood.

“That’s it. That’s all of it.” you say, eyes flicking up to his.

He reaches his hand to cup your cheek, “Thank you.”

You nod into his hand before standing and reaching over to turn the shower handle. The water begins to heat the bathroom as you look at each other.

You reach for his shirt to pull it over his head, only to be met with the sight of the dark purple bruise forming on his ribs. You gently pass your fingers over the mark as he bashfully looks to the floor.

You slowly start to unbuckle his belt, pulling it from the loops and hearing the metal clang onto the tile floor. Your eyes flash up to his asking permission as your fingers toy with the button of his jeans. He nods as you push the button through the hole, hooking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, pushing them down with the jeans. Your eyes never leaving each other, he kicks his jeans to the floor.

You feel his hands ghost underneath the fabric of your shirt running over the bare skin of your stomach before tugging your own shirt over your head.

He continues to remove your clothes until you are both bare before each other in the dim bathroom lighting. Your fingers hook into his as you step into the spray of the shower. He follows behind you and even in the bad lighting you can see the faint pink water washing down the drain as you let the water hit his skin. Being careful to avoid his tender hands you wash the blood, dirt and alcohol off of his skin. Knowing he is too sore to do it himself, you lather the shampoo into his knotted hair, hoping to comfort him. You scratch your nails over his scalp, earning you a hum of approval from his chest.

His hands circle your waist as you continue to run your fingers through his hair, rinsing the suds away. When you felt like he was sufficiently cleaned up, you tried to step away to give him a moment of space, but as his hands pulled you into him you knew that was the opposite of what he wanted. He pulled you into his arms before resting his head on your shoulder with a breath of relief before placing a gentle kiss on the wet skin of your bare chest. He just needed to be comforted.

You kiss the top of his head, “Let's go to bed.”

That night as you lie there in his bed, in his t-shirt, his swollen and bruised body wrapped around you, you feel safe. Protected. Loved. You wonder how you would ever love another as much as you loved him. If you would ever. You were going to tell him. Soon.

JAKE POV

You heard her breathing even out, you could feel her body soften under your arms. You were glad she was here, with you like this. You knew you wouldn’t sleep well tonight, the adrenaline still coursing through you, accompanied by the excruciating pain radiating through your body.

You’ll give it to Andy, he can fight. He landed a few good blows to your face and ribs and you were feeling it with every breath you took. But you didn’t care about that, not in the slightest, no. What was concerning you was the state of your hands. As far as you knew nothing was broken, fractured for sure, but not broken. Letting her pick the glass out of your hands tonight was one of the most painful processes you’ve undergone in a long time. Begging silently for it to be over, you watched as she removed the shards from your palms as you figured out what you were going to do to bring the swelling down in your hand. Reassuring her throughout that you were okay, when you didn’t fully believe it yourself.

As the shower water ran pink the sting of the soap on your cuts sliced through you, but how could you focus on that when she was standing in front of you, washing you, caring for you in a way no one else ever had. Taking her time to be as gentle as possible, not a care in the world for herself. You know her head had to hurt. You saw how hard she hit that wall tonight. You wont ever forgive yourself for not stepping in sooner.

Snapping you from your thoughts, you feel her roll towards you, cuddling into your side as a sigh escapes her lips. You force your eyes open to look at her. The scratchy feeling as your eyelid opened felt like sandpaper. You hoped the blood would dissipate from your eye before your meeting this week, though you had bigger issues to worry about, like how you were going to pitch them the new songs with mangled hands.

A sigh leaves your chest and you let your eyes close again. You pull her into you and promise yourself that you’ll never let another man lay a finger on her.

–

A light knock on your door causes your eyes to flutter open. You recognize the knock, it’s Josh. There is light coming in through the blinds so you must have finally fallen asleep after all. You groan as the soreness has finally set in, making it near impossible to sit up. As gently as you can you pull yourself up, trying not to disturb her, fast asleep next to you. You force yourself out of the bed, knowing that Josh wouldn’t wake you for no reason.

You quietly open the door and see him in the hallway leaning against the wall looking at his phone.

“You look like shit.” he quips.

“I feel worse.” you reply.

“Is she…” he asks motioning to the door.

“She’s asleep.” you reply, walking out to the couch. Josh follows you and sits at the opposite end. “What’s up?”

A few seconds pass before he tosses his cell phone over to you, landing on your leg. You pick it up and look at the screen he has pulled up. You see Andy’s mugshot and scoff.

“Good, fucking bastard.” you say tossing it back to Josh.

“Wait, what were the charges?” you ask.

“Aggravated Battery.” he answers.

“But… I didn’t press charges, neither did she. Elle?” you ask.

“No, get this. This dumbass apparently tried to fight someone else when they took him out front. Right in front of the cops. I guess that's why when you told them what happened they believed you.” he says.

“No shit. This guy is a piece of work.” you chide.

“How did he know where she was?” Josh asks.

“I have no idea, she said she has no clue either.” you reply.

Josh gets a suspicious look on his face, “Does he….track her? Like her phone?” he asks.

Realization washes over you, “I’m not sure…I will find out as soon as she wakes up.”

You force yourself up off of the couch and wince at the pain. Josh stares at you with pity, “You need to go rest… you need to be healed up in like…a week.”

“I know. I'm pretty sure I fractured something in my hand. Its fucking killing me. But I will figure it out. Don’t worry.” you say, trying to convince him.

He nods in your direction knowing he shouldn’t push, and you walk back to the bedroom to find her still asleep in your bed, a sight you would never grow tired of seeing.

As you slide back into the bed next to her you pull her close to you. You breathe in the scent of her and feel the comforting and familiar feeling rush over your body. She stirs beneath your arms, turning to face you as her eyes gently flutter open.

“Did you leave?” she breathes out.

You nuzzle your face into her neck, “I was talking to Josh in the living room.”

“Is everything okay?” she asks, voice a little scratchy still.

You take a deep breath before you answer, “Andy was arrested last night at the bar.” you say nervously.

Her eyes widened, “Oh.”

You turn further onto your side, trying not to put pressure on your hands before you ask, “Baby, did Andy ever… show up places?”

“What? What do you mean?” she asks.

“Did he ever show up at places you were, unannounced? Like… you didn’t tell him you were there but somehow he just knew?” you ask. Her brow furrows and you can see her replaying moments in her mind.

“Actually… yes…how do you…” she questions.

You soften your face, “Did he track your location?” you ask.

“What do you mean, like track my phone?” she asks nervously.

“Yeah, I think that is how he is finding you.” you reply.

She furiously turns over and grabs her phone off of the nightstand, handing it to you. You take it in your stiff hands and look at her as it prompts for the password.

“Oh, it's 2-0-1-3.” she says.

“2013, huh?” you question, as you type in the code, unlocking the device.

Your eyes flick to hers and you notice the red in her cheeks. “What happened in 2013, love?” you ask.

She pauses for a moment, “You did.” She smiles bashfully.

You feel your heart swell in your chest at her admission, and you turn to place a soft kiss on her cheek feeling the warmth pooling there.

Turning your attention back to her phone you find the Find My Friends app and open it. You aren’t shocked when you see his contact information come up on the list of people her location is shared with, in fact you are relieved that you can turn it off immediately. You flip the switch to control his access and delete his name from the list. You show her as her eyes fill with tears.

“Oh my god. I feel so stupid!” she cries. “Why didn’t I know that! Why didn’t I check! It really is all my fault, oh my god!”

“Oh baby, no! It’s not! I swear it isn’t. You couldn’t have known. Shit I didn’t know until Josh asked me.” you say.

You rub your thumbs over her cheeks drying the tears that managed to slip past her eyes. You pull her into your chest to lay on you as you rest your hands on her back. “I swear this isn’t your fault sugar. I promise nothing like this will ever happen again. I will make sure. I’ve got you.” you say adamantly. You feel her start to calm down as she lies on your chest and you want so badly to tell her how you feel, but you know it's the wrong moment. You want it to be perfect. You’ll make sure it is.

HER POV

A few long days had passed since the incident in the bar and the guys had more or less moved on, but you hadn’t. You couldn’t shake the uncontrollable guilt coursing through your body. After a day spent at the doctor Jake had discovered that he had fractured part of his hand but it would heal quickly with rest and limited movement. He made sure to take care of it, hoping the doctor was right about that, and that there wouldn’t be any lingering effects.

On Wednesday afternoon your phone buzzed with a text, springing you from your thoughts.

Jake: Do you want to come over tonight? We are doing a movie night.

You: What movie?

Jake: I don’t know yet, Sam’s choice tonight. 7:00.

You: See you then.

–

As you put your car in park you notice a few cars you recognize and find yourself excited to see everyone after a few days apart. Just as you go to knock on the door it opens and Sam greets you with a hug. You notice the firmness of his muscles as you hug him back and wonder when that happened.

You step inside Jake and Josh’s rental and see everyone sitting in various places with beer and drinks littering the small coffee table. Elle squeals when she sees you and insists you sit next to her and Sam. You take the open seat next to them as Jake stares you down from the chair next to the couch. You shoot him a playful smirk and he nods his head before getting up to get you a drink. What he returns with, you’re not quite sure but the burn blooming in your chest suggests whiskey.

Sam stands up and walks over to the TV and makes a display of announcing his choice for the movie. “Alright! Now that everyone is here, I will tell you the wonderful cinematic masterpiece I have chosen for this evening…” he says, reaching behind him and pulling out the DVD case that reads “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”.

A collective groan rings out from the guys as they realize that they should have known it's what he would pick. You had lost count of how many times you had seen the movie at this point and you laugh because you should have known too.

He puts the DVD in the player and returns back to the couch next to you and Elle. “Ahh, just a classic. I love this movie.” he says excitedly.

Josh throws back the rest of his drink and turns to Sam, “It’s a film, Sam.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” he laughs, just as the opening credits begin to roll.

Somewhere around half way through you got up to use the bathroom feeling fuzzy inside from the drinks you’d been given. You wander down the hall to the bathroom, and your mind flashes to the last time you’d been in here and how bleak everything seemed in that moment. You relieve yourself and wash your hands as you stare at yourself in the mirror, freshening up your hair and taking a deep breath before stepping back out into the hallway only to be greeted by a familiar face.

“Hey beautiful,” Jake says quietly.

“Mmm, hi…” you reply, walking up to him as he leans against the wall. He places his hands on your hips and spins you to change places, pinning you against the wall.

“How are you feeling? Your cheeks are pink.” he smirks.

“I don't know what you’re serving but it seems to be working. I should probably stop if I’m gonna drive home.” you giggle.

He stands back, eyes locked on yours as he purses his lips, “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” you ask, head feeling spacey.

“Don’t go tonight. Stay with me.” he asks, his eyes sparkling in the dim lighting.

“You want me to?” you ask.

He leans down and places a soft wet kiss on your throat, “I do.”

You toss your head back as his lips make contact, a sigh leaving your chest. “I might need more convincing.” you whisper playfully.

His hand makes its way under the hem of your shirt and his calloused thumb rubs a circle on the skin of your hip bone. “Come on, let's go finish this movie.” he says, grabbing your hand and pulling you back to the living room.

He sits next to you on the couch, resting his hand on your thigh as his fingers trace patterns into the skin. You sip the rest of the drink he gave you and you try to focus on the movie instead of the way his fingers feel as they roam your legs. Your heart has slowly begun to pick up its pace as his fingers inch closer and closer to the hem of your shorts.

You turn your head to whisper into his ear, “Jake…”

He turns to face you, his eyes heavy and dark, “Quiet angel.” he whispers back.

You swallow heavily and return your focus back to the movie but all you can hear is the rapid beating of your heart in your ears. Jake is unrelenting in his teasing and you find yourself counting down the minutes until the movie is over.

As the credits start to roll everyone begins to stretch and yawn as they stand up. Jake removes his hand from your thigh just as Josh turns the lights back on, causing everyone to squint. Sam and Elle detach themselves from each other and stand to start cleaning up. After a few minutes of everyone saying their goodbyes, the house is left with just you Jake, and Josh.

Jake shoots Josh a look from the kitchen and Josh understands, “Okay, I am… going to bed, see you two in the morning.” he says, turning off the light and walking down the hallway. You hear his bedroom door shut and you see Jake walking towards you from the kitchen.

As he approaches he laces his hand with yours, the scabs from his cuts still healing, just a grim reminder of the past week. You bring his hand up to your lips pressing a kiss to his bruised knuckles.

“You tired? You want to go to bed?” he asks.

You nod in response and he leads you down the hallway to his bedroom. Once inside he shuts the door and locks it before taking his shirt off and throwing it in the corner. A silver necklace lays against his bare chest, and the light from the lamp shines off of it, drawing your attention to it. Your eyes travel down to his belt buckle and you bite the inside of your cheek as you take in his perfectly tanned stomach.

He steps over to you and you place your hands on his stomach sliding them around to his back, feeling every inch of skin under your fingertips, committing the feeling to memory.

“Jake?” you whisper against his chest.

“Mhmm?” he groans, pulling you tightly against him.

You turn your head to look at him, his eyes meeting yours, “Take–” you are cut off by his lips connecting with yours. Soft and plush and wanting. Your hands travel up his back and back around to his front before tangling into the waves of his hair. His tongue pushes into your mouth and begins to swirl with yours as your heart pounds out of your chest.

You break your mouth away from his, “Jake…” you pant. He presses his lips back to yours, effectively silencing you once again, as his hand comes to rest at the back of your neck and he presses kisses to your lips over and over.

You place your hand gently on his wrist as you step back again, “Jacob…” you say. He stops and looks back at you, his thumb resting on your cheek. He nods.

“Take me to bed.” you demand.

You see a spark flash behind his eyes at your words and a smile playing on the corners of his lips. His hands slide down your body stopping at the hem of your shirt before slowly lifting it over your body. Your fingers work quickly to unbutton your shorts before kicking them off your legs. Your hands move to his belt buckle unclasping the metal and pulling the leather from the loops of his jeans. He unbuttons his jeans and lets them fall to the floor at his feet.

His eyes flash up to his and you see a hint of concern behind them, “Are you sure?”

“Very.” you answer, a whisper against his lips.

His lips press to yours, but it's a different kind of kiss, it's deep and passionate, not rushed or frantic. The kind with intention behind it. His fingers unclasp your bra, the straps falling to hang loosely at your shoulders before he slides it off, leaving you bare in front of him. He walks you backwards to his bed until your knees hit the edge, sending you tumbling backwards.

“Get in the middle, love.” he instructs, nodding his head towards the middle of the bed. You push up off the bed and position yourself in the middle of the bed. You watch as he crawls over top of you, bearing his weight on his hands.

“Jake, your hand…” you say furrowing your brow.

“No. It’s fine. I… I can’t even feel it right now.” he says, flustered.

“Are you sure?” you ask nervously.

“Very.” he replies with a smirk, mimicking your response from earlier.

You wrap your arm around his neck and pull him down to meet you, kissing his perfect lips to yours.

After a few minutes he deteaches his lips from yours, trailing kisses down your jaw, your throat, and stopping as he reaches your nipple, sucking it into his mouth, before releasing it with a kiss.

You arch your back at the sensation of his lips traveling down your stomach, reaching the top of your panties. He sits back on his knees before hooking his fingers into the fabric and sliding them down your legs. He tosses them off the bed before pressing a kiss right to the top of your mound.

He returns to hover over top of you, looking into your eyes, “You’re so beautiful.” he whispers against your mouth.

“Jake… please…” you beg as you push his boxers down his hips.

He kicks them the rest of the way off, revealing his hardened length. You reach between you and grasp it in your hand feeling the veins beneath your fingers as you work it up and down, a hiss leaving his mouth.

His eyes flick up to yours, “Baby, I… I don’t want to fuck you.” he breathes out, causing you to recoil. “Wait, no, that came out wrong. I do, trust me, I do I… just… I want to go slow, and be gentle… I want to love you. I want to make love to you.”

“So love me then…” you say, pulling him down to meet you. He presses a kiss to your neck as he palms his length, dragging it slowly against your wet core. You have waited so long for this moment, never really knowing if it would ever happen.

He locks eyes with you as he presses the tip to your opening, his mouth falling open into a soft ‘O’ shape at the contact. As he pushes inside of you, he goes slow allowing your body to accommodate his generous size, his eyes squeezing shut as he reaches the hilt. A breath releases from his chest as you tighten around him. “Oh my god…” he pants.

Your fingertips dig into the skin of his sides as you attempt to bring him closer, knowing that even fully seated inside of you, he would never be close enough. The feeling of him inside of you is something like you’d never experienced. The delicious fullness inside of you, hitting every spot just perfectly, is something you hadn’t experienced with Andy, and something you never knew was missing.

His chest heaves heavily over you as he struggles to keep himself together as you clench around him. “Jake…” you breathe out, eyes fixed on him.

He begins to slowly pull out of you just to the tip as he pushes back in, a groan leaving both of your mouths. You nod your head to him as he does it, indicating that you’re ready and need more of him. With the acknowledgement he begins to roll his hips into your core reaching the spot inside you so desperately needed him to reach. His hair hangs in his face as he looks down to watch the spot where the two of you have finally come together.

“Fuck…” he breathes out, panting as he continues to slowly grind into you.

You wrap your legs around his waist to draw him in closer, using one hand to push the hair out of his face and behind his shoulder. Sweat begins to accumulate on his neck as he works himself in and out of you, dragging both of you closer to your release.

“Faster Jake…” you beg.

His eyes flick up to yours and he begins to snap his hips quicker into yours, hitting your g spot with each thrust. You toss your head back as you feel the tingle in your stomach beginning to grow.

He brushes the hair out of your face before pressing a kiss to your lips, “You are so gorgeous. I have wanted this for so long.” he says, snapping his hips into you.

“I wanted it too Jake. I’ve only ever wanted you…” you reply.

“Fuck you feel so good. Worth every second I waited for you.” he grunts.

“Jake I’m…” you try to say you’re close but he cuts you off before you can get the words out.

“I know, baby. I can feel you. Let go for me. I want to feel you all around me. Dreamed of it.” he begs.

He leans over and presses his lips to your tattoo, “Mine, forever.” he breathes, delivering the final thrust that would send you orbiting to the same level as the stars you marked your body with. The stars you are fairly sure he hung himself.

As your release overcame your body, his name fell from your lips. In a moment of euphoric pleasure it was his face that stayed ever present in your mind. You had never felt this type of release before. Andy surely never made you feel this way. You found yourself wondering if Jake was the only one who could. The only one supposed to. As you came back to him, his eyes were filled with adoration. You were everything he had ever dreamed of and you knew exactly how he felt.

“Jake, I…I love you.” you breathed out.

He dropped his head between his outstretched arms before looking back up to you with a smile on his lips.

“Y/N, I love you too.” he whispered.

His hips began to move again, delivering long languid strokes inside of you feeling like pure silk against you. “I love you so much… so fucking much. I have always loved you.” he pants.

He glides his hand down your leg, hooking it under your knee and pressing it up into your chest, granting him deeper access. You’re positive you saw his eyes roll back into his head as a groan left his chest.

“You are…” he said, shaking his head, “...everything.”

As he began to pick up his pace you felt yourself inching nearer to another orgasm, something you weren't used to. You could tell he was getting close to his own release when his breathing began to get shaky and his thrusts slightly more forceful.

“God I love you Y/N, I will always love you.” he says, delivering the thrust that tipped him over the edge, letting himself flow into you as you clenched around him, your own orgasm rocking through you for the second time. A grunt left his chest with each spurt into you, his beautiful face contorted in pure bliss as sweat ran down his chest. You had never seen him look so good.

You pulled him down to rest on top of you as you felt him soften inside of you, neither of you wanting to part from each other.

You placed a gentle kiss on his head as you ran your fingers through his sweaty hair. “Jake, I’ve never… I’ve never finished like that before.” you confess.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Andy never… made me orgasm that way. Like, from… inside. You’re… the only one. It felt so different. So good.” you admit.

“I don’t know what to say…I’m glad that I can make you feel as good as you make me feel. I will do it as long as you let me.” he says, pressing a kiss to your chest. It's quiet for a few minutes before he speaks again.

“I thought about this a lot.” he says, cheek pressed tightly to your chest.

“About what?” you ask.

“When we were gone, touring…at night I would fall asleep wondering what it would feel like after I finally got to… show you how I felt about you.” he said. You could feel his breath on your chest with each word he spoke.

“And how do you feel?” you ask.

“Better than I could have ever imagined, but I think I know why.”

“Mhmm?” you hum.

He turns his head to look at you, “Because… you love me back.” his big brown eyes blinking slowly at the confession.

“Jake…I have always loved you.” you reply.

“Why did it take us so long to figure it out?” he laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

“I think we always knew.” you smile back at him.

He turns his head back to press a kiss to your chest, before getting up and looking through his dresser. He smiles to himself and throws a t-shirt at you with a smirk. He bends over and grabs your underwear, tossing those up to you next. You know you need to use the bathroom, so you pull the shirt over your head and put your panties back on before excusing yourself.

As you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror you can't help notice the permanent smile on your face. You feel happy, safe but most of all loved. By the only man you have ever loved, and by some alignment of the stars he loves you back.

JAKE POV

JUNE 2018

“You ready?” Josh asks as he holds the door open to the building.

“No, but I will put on a good show.” you say, shaking your head. Today will make or break you. Today you will pitch the idea for the new album. But in order to do that you have to play the executives a few of the songs you have been working on. Normally that would be fine, but the searing pain radiating up your arm from the fracture in your hand has proven to make something so simple, excruciating.

Luckily the bruises had faded and the cuts in your hands had healed. From the outside you looked great, no indications of the altercation remained. Only the swelling in your hand and the pain that coursed through your body with even the most simple of finger movements.

You swallowed harshly as you stepped into the meeting room, guitar case clutched tightly in the fist of your good hand. As you sat down at the table you spent the next hour discussing the concept you had all thought of, deeply outlining the idea and vision for this album and any that could possibly come after it. How they would all tie together to tell a story and how you planned to do it.

The response was overwhelmingly positive and the smile plastered to Josh’s face almost made you forget about how any minute you would have to play them a few songs. Pushing the thought to the back of your mind you sat and listened to Josh, Sam and Daniel explain everything and you felt proud that you guys had made it this far. Somehow you were able to make your dream their dream too.

Lost in your thoughts you hear Daniel clear his throat and it snaps you back to the present. Your manager nodded his head to you signaling that it was time to play and you nodded back as you retrieved your guitar from the case on the floor.

Standing up you situate yourself on the stool they placed for you, and position your hands to begin playing. Luckily you and Josh went over everything last night to get the initial feeling of moving your fingers like this again, out of the way.

As you began to play you nodded to Josh that he could follow your cues and began strumming out the intro. Sam watched as the blood drained from your face with each chord. Each note proved to be more painful than the last. As you finished the song you released the breath you were holding in, in an attempt to keep from wincing, hand shaking in pain.

“Awesome guys, got any more?” one of the men at the head of the table called out.

Josh looked over to you, and you swallowed and nodded with a smile. “Flower?” you mouthed to him.

He nodded and turned back to them, explaining the song a bit to give you time to recover. When he turned back to you to start you began to play. The pain that ripped through your hand radiated all the way up to your shoulder, strong enough to make you sick to your stomach. You knew you needed to focus. You blew out a breath and thought back to when you wrote the riff for this song. You thought of her. You thought of the night you played it for her in your bedroom, just a few days after you wrote it. You hadn’t even shown the guys yet. It felt like something special, just between the two of you. You knew it had to be for her.

The song ended and the executives were beyond thrilled. The meeting went perfectly despite your situation and you were thankful that they didn’t notice. But as you made your way out of the lobby and out into the street you let it go, shoving your guitar case into Sam’s hands and finding yourself crumbling into the bench a few steps away.

You held your wrist in your good hand and looked down at it, thankful that it helped you through that meeting but praying that it would heal. You knew that if it didn’t, this dream was over. “Fuck!” you screamed a tear escaping from your eye. You released your hand to swipe away the traitorous tear.

Josh approached you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Hey. You were good. Great even. I don’t think anyone even noticed. We will take it easy for a few weeks, work on lyrics…give it some time. It won't be like this forever. It’s only temporary.”

His words always calmed you. He had that effect on people, but especially you. You knew he was right. You had just found yourself in a moment of self pity, kicking yourself for the predicament you were in, but knowing you would do it again if you had to. Anything for her.

“I know. I just… wish it didn't hurt so fucking bad. That’s all. I’m fine.” you say standing up. “Let’s get out of here.” You take your guitar case back from Sam who gives you a soft smile and you head back to the car knowing full well that you aren't telling the full truth about your hand.

JULY 2018

Much of the summer had been spent with her, days turning into nights, bleeding into the next day until almost every day was spent together in some way. That’s just how it was, and that's how you wanted it. Days felt more full with her in it. You knew she was safe if she was with you. Eventually you both stopped worrying if Andy would show his face. She was healing from that bad relationship with all the love and support you and the guys could offer. You made sure to show her what real love looked like, just as often as you could.

Really there was no comparison to her. No one who ever came before her even measured up. She was it for you. You knew you would never want for another and you knew she felt the same. You two were practically joined at the hip since the night you told her you loved her, so when the time came to leave her for a few weeks you both dreaded it.

Josh wanted to make a tradition out of the album writing process. He wanted to rent a cabin somewhere in the woods, bring all of your equipment and write the album. He said that time in nature would help you to detach and bring the album to life, and you were inclined to agree. However the thought of being without her left you feeling out of sorts. She helped you pack your bags, and after a few tears between the two of you, you left her with a kiss and an I love you.

—-

AUGUST 2018

The weeks at the cabin proved to be long and hard, with spotty cell reception and bad weather to boot. You promised to call her every night and damned if you didn’t try. But as the weeks went on the summer storm weather got worse, and the reception dropped off almost completely leaving you to see the dreaded ‘No Service’ icon flash across your screen nightly.

There were a few nights you wanted to just drive home. Just to see her for a minute. But you knew you couldn’t. You were in the thick of writing, and there is no way Josh would let you leave. Countless unsent texts sat in your drafts, you silently begging them to go through but they never did.

The album was written and you were proud of it. You couldn’t wait to record it and put it out. It was your best work so far. Your hand however was still slowly recovering. The pain would come at night after use throughout the day. Medicated only with whiskey and tequila. You drank until you could fall asleep, finally numb to the pain. You hoped that one day you would wake up and pain would be gone but each day it came back again.

On the drive home your heart was racing with anticipation. It had been weeks since you'd seen her, let alone had a full conversation with her. Your heart ached knowing how she must have felt waiting to hear from you. You knew she would understand when you told her the situation. Or at least you hoped she would. You picked at your fingernails the entire drive home, once you got past that conversation you knew you were going to have to tell her about the press tour. You were going overseas to promote the album release and play a couple of shows, followed by a longer stint across the states. You knew she would be at school, that wasn’t the issue. It was the schedule. The months of sparse calls and messages. Long days and even longer nights. You didn’t know how it would work. You were nervous, scared even. You couldn’t lose her again. You refused.

HER POV

It had been weeks since you talked. You knew that it was a possibility when Josh started talking about the cabin he had found. Using words like “secluded” and “isolated” and he was right. That’s exactly how you felt. Choppy phone calls came early in the time Jake was away, which turned into sparse text conversations that usually dropped off after one or two messages. You tried not to take it to heart, I mean, you had gone months without speaking but that was…before. Things were different now.

It was just a regular Tuesday. You had started to slowly pack your things back up to go back to school for the year. Dreading the thought of being away from Jake but you knew you could make it work. He would be close by and you could come see him whenever you wanted. He could even come visit you. As you packed a sweater into the box you heard your phone buzz on your desk. Your heart nearly dropped as you stood quickly to see if it was him.

Jake: My love…are you busy tonight?

You: Are you back?!

Jake: Come over?

Throwing a few things into your bag you grab your keys before sprinting out of your bedroom, calling out to your mom that you'd see her later.

You jump in your car and turn it on, throwing it in reverse as you pull out of the driveway. Your heart is pounding as you make the short drive. When you pull into his driveway you see his car sitting there and your heart swells. He is finally home.

You get out and make your way to the front door knocking twice and almost shaking with anticipation.

You hear the lock spin and you hold your breath as the door swings open.

The smile that crosses his face has been sorely missed, “My girl.” he says, opening his arms to you.

You leap through the door into his arms and you are immediately intoxicated by the smell of him, fresh from the shower. Your lips find his and prove just how much you missed him. He pulls you in and shuts the door behind you, releasing his grip on your waist as he smiles at you.

“Hi beautiful, god I missed you.” he says.

“I missed you too, I’m so glad you are home!” you reply.

You see Josh standing in the kitchen busy with some task. “Hey Josh!” you call out to him.

“Hey stranger!” he replies with a cheeky smile. “Can't wait for you to hear this album.”

Jake grabs your hand and pulls you down the hallway, “Come on, I wanna tell you all about it.”

You clasp your hand around his and let him escort you to his bedroom. Once inside you sit yourself on his bed as he begins to unpack his bags. He tells you all about his time in the woods, the album, the shenanigans they got into but most importantly he tells you how much he missed you, how he thought of you every day, and how he tried to call every single night. Your heart flutters when you hear that you were on his mind just as much as he was on yours.

He continues to talk and you listen intently, just happy to be back in his presence when you notice him favoring his hand. You watch closely for a few more minutes to be sure before you say anything. Surely it should be healed by now? You notice that he isn't using it normally and isn’t moving the fingers on that hand as he usually would.

“Jake?” you ask.

He turns to face you with a smile, “Yeah?”

Your eyes flick down to his hand, “Why are you holding your hand like that? Is it still messed up?” you ask.

“I’m not. It’s fine.” he answers dismissively.

Your brow furrows and you press further, “No, I’ve been watching you unpack and you definitely aren’t using it like normal.”

“Y/N, it’s fine.” he says a little more firmly.

“You’re lying Jake. Come here and squeeze my hand if it feels fine.” you challenge, knowing full well it wasn’t.

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head before walking over to you. He grabs your hand and you watch as he swallows and begins to squeeze your hand. You quickly rip it away when you see the pain written across his face.

“Jake! Stop! Why would you do that? I know your hand is still messed up, you were just supposed to tell the truth, not actually do it!” you yell.

He shakes his head as he tries to return back to his bag but you pull him back. “Hey… talk to me. What’s going on…”

He sits down next to you and sighs, “I don’t know. I thought it would be better by now. It still fucking hurts. I can’t play like I used to. It just locks up. I’m nervous and I don’t want to talk about it because then maybe it isn’t true.” he says. At that moment you can feel your heart breaking.

“Oh god Jake. This would have never happened if…” you stay throwing your head into your hands. “It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not. Quit saying that!” he says sternly.

“It’s my fault you’re hurting Jake! Plain and simple! You aren’t able to play to your full potential because of me! Because of my choices! Choices that you felt the need to deal with!” you say, raising your voice.

“Fucking stop Y/N!” he says standing up from the bed. He turns to face you, anger painted across his face.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I think we need to!” you yell. “You have fucked up your hand for me! Because of me! It’s hurting you so badly that you can hardly play and it’s only fractured. Imagine if you fully broke it Jake? Then what? You couldn’t play at all! If I hadn’t come to that show this would have never happened. I will never forgive myself for this.”

“You didn’t make me jump off that stage! I jumped off on my own accord to protect you! To defend you from that piece of shit!” he yells. “Yeah my hand got fucked up. Will it ever be the same, I don't know. But I do know that I love you and I would do it a thousand times over if I had to.” he yells.

“Don’t you see what's happened Jake!? Your life has only gotten harder since I came back into it! You’re fighting, hurting yourself, risking your career, all because of me! For me!” you yell at him.

“God, maybe…none of this is right.” you whisper.

“What?” he questions.

“I said maybe none of this is right! Maybe this isn’t how it’s supposed to be! Look at us Jake. We exist in two different worlds! I’m in school for another three years! You’re out touring trying to make it, shit you already have! It’s only a matter of time… I just… I don't know, it just doesn't seem like we fit. Even after all this time. As badly as we want it, maybe it’s just not right.”

“Don’t fit?! Y/N, what do you mean? You are the only thing that makes any sense to me! I don’t want any of this if I don’t have you to share it with!” he pleads.

“You can’t give up your dream for me, Jake!” you say with a trembling voice, the emotions starting to spill over.

“Fuck the dream! You are the dream! You always have been! I don’t want it without you, Y/N!” he says, tears filling his eyes.

“Jake this is exactly what I mean! You can’t give it up! You have to see this through! You signed a contract!” you say, tears running down your cheeks.

He runs his fingers through his hair as he tries to collect his thoughts, “I know. I…I just… I can’t do this without you.” he begs. “Just… Come with me. Come with us.”

“Go with you where?!” you question.

“I was going to tell you tonight, but… we are leaving in a few weeks to go overseas to play some shows and we will be gone for a few months.” he says with a defeated sigh.

“Oh.” is all you can manage.

“This is not how I wanted to tell you. I wanted us to make a plan. I wanted you to come with us.” he says.

“Jake, you know I can’t. You know I can’t go with you. I have school… I can’t just abandon everything!” you say.

He rubs his hand over his face, “I know. I know. I just don’t know what else to do.”

“Jake, our worlds aren’t the same anymore.” you say, tears brimming at your eyes.

“You’ve been my world for as long as I can remember.” he whispers.

“Jake…” you plead. “I can’t be the girl who held you back from following your dream and seeing it through. I won't be. I have to let you go. I have to let you do this.” you manage through tears.

“Is that what you really want?! You want to just give up on this? After everything!? Have I not proven time and time again that I would do anything for you?!” he yells.

“You have! That’s the problem! You’re willing to risk everything for me! Something that you have worked for your whole life! I can’t let you do that! I won’t let you hurt yourself again for me!” you yell.

“Don’t do this to me Y/N…” he begs.

“Jake, I'm doing this for you.” you reply.

Suddenly his demeanor changes, you can see his thought process playing out. His eyes that greeted you with love and adoration only minutes ago are now filled with pain and resentment.

“Fine. If you don’t want this…to fight for this… You can go.” his tone, venomous as he opens the bedroom door to let you out.

Your breath catches in your throat, and just like that the world you had built around Jake came tumbling down.

Chapter 6

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