#ET OMNIA VANITAS

[sictransitgloriamvndi]

[sigmastolen]

got a 39" BLÅHAJ for my birthday and tbh i think it might fix me

[pannazmiya]

Went shopping with Husband in Vienna 🥀

[poorshadowspaintedqueens]

what was your college experience like in terms of academics? becoming a doctor?

Hmmm, that’s a rather broad question. If we’re talking about undergrad, those were four amazing years, particularly from an academic standpoint. I was very fortunate in that my parents were paying for my education and I was attending an enormous land-grant university at in-state rates, which meant I was able to take full advantage of opportunities not available to a lot of students. Mostly in terms of taking extra classes every term and participating in three different study abroad programs. I started off double-majoring in English and History, and ended up with a triple-major in English, French, and Medieval & Renaissance Studies (which, until I started undergrad, I had no idea was even a field of study).

I knew I wanted to go into academia so I did what people were supposed to do in those circumstances, namely apply to graduate school. I applied to 9 programs the first time round and only got into one, so that choice was comparatively easy. It was a one-year M.Phil. in European Literature and Culture at the University of Cambridge, and while I was there, I determined that I wanted to stay on and do my PhD on the French Romantics and their relationships with and reworkings of English Renaissance drama. Alas, the two examiners on my master’s thesis had a disagreement, and my thesis did not received the necessary marks, so I ended up having to go home, get a retail job, and reapply to graduate schools for the following academic year.

When I reapplied with an M.Phil. to my name, I got into three graduate programs. I made the deeply questionable financial decision to take an unfunded place in Oxford because it had been my dream since I was a kid to study there. But also this was in 2006 and things were very different. I was told by plenty of people, including my academic advisors, that it was worth the risk to have a PhD from Oxford behind my name.

From a financial standpoint, it was probably the worst decision of my life. However, the three years I spent in Oxford were probably amongst the most intellectually fulfilling I’ve ever had. It’s probably all for the best that I was still at a point in my life where I was capable of ignoring racist microaggressions, and that I was in a stable and committed long-term relationship notwithstanding the three thousand miles of ocean between us, because aside from the intellectual fulfillment, those were rough years. I took out a mountain of student loans and I lived like a hermit, working up to three jobs at a time to afford my monthly rent. My department put me through the wringer, and I nearly quit at one point because they’d almost convinced me I wasn’t good enough.

To some extent, I finished out of spite, to show everyone who’d doubted me that I could actually do it. I then turned my D.Phil. thesis into a book in less than two years because I was convinced it would get me a job.

Narrator: It did not get her a job.

I am now 14 years out from my PhD. I have worked for everything from Ivy-League-adjacent private colleges to a rather notorious for-profit university that happened to be located ten minutes away from where I was living at the time. And the entire structure of academia has changed--or, at the very least, stratified to a point where it is practically impossible to get any job at all, let alone one with a decent salary and benefits. So if this question was posed with the intention of finding out how to succeed, I’m afraid you’re asking the wrong person.

This is not to say that I don’t recommend that people go to graduate school if they want to and have the resources to do it. Especially if you come from a minority or marginalized group, because academia desperately needs those important voices. But if you do, know that the system is rigged and that it takes an enormous amount of resources, effort, and struggle for comparatively little reward. Know that if it doesn’t work out, it is not your fault. And always--always--have a backup plan.

[latin-phrases-showdown]

Round 1 Poll 14

Translation and propaganda for In vino veritas

Translation and propaganda for Vanitas vanitatum et omnia vanitas

[natalinanize]

Ash to ash or something.

On a good day, brain does 180 and starts to think of skulls and crows - classic brain move!

[fredericbassoulet-blog]

[yourdarkacademiagay]

About what i can do to be remembered

sometimes i wonder what will be my gift to the Earth, my monument which will remind future generations of my existance, something that won’t let me die, like Horace with his “Exegi Monumentum”. He survived centures, but what can I, simple nobody (at least for now) offer? With the feeling, that even though so much have been discovered, yet so little we really know, there’s a big stage for me to use, the question is how well will i perform myself on this stage?  What can i do to become outstanding, to be viewed unique? If my life is the theatre, i have to be the best actress, if my life is the book, i have to be the main character, if my life is my life, i have to posess it as much as i can and control it according to my will. Not let anyone dictate me what to do, because, at the end it will be my problem what i’ve done with my life and i will be sorry - not anyone else. My own personal freedom is just for me to use and i will use it with all my strenght so i can achieve my dreams and build my own monument. It’s all up to me.

[ex0skeletal-undead]

Vanitas Vanitarium, Et Omnia Vanitas by Vincenzo Lamolinara

This artist on Instagram

[very-small-giant]

vanitas vanitatum et omnia vanitas

[adhdtsukasa]

good morning everyone, rise and shine, have you thought about the world hasn't even started yet today? nope? then now you do! because with full emukasa and ruinene sekahaji alts finally releasing, it's time for me to (over)analyze my favorite and definitely one of the most underrated wonderlands x showtime's songs that is still haunting the narrative to this day. (haunting the narrative is actually a bit of a dramatic way to call it, but i like to be dramatic and so do wxs.)

in full seriousness, i just really, really like sekahaji's lyrics and it's such a shame it's not getting talked about that much anymore only because that's an old song, especially since pinocchiop is a lyrics genius. so if you're interested in my personal interpretation of sekahaji, including analyzing the foreshadowing of the future events included in the lyrics and analyzing the line distribution not only in the original ver, but in the alt vocals as well, then tune in! because i have a lot to say.

will be using the screenshots from vocaloid lyrics wiki, but i'm going to say who's singing the line anyways, so it's not that much of a problem. i think. (also the alts line distribution is not really that important, it's mostly ruikasa and emunene singing each other's lines with two exceptions. but some lines hurt more when it's the other who sings it, so who am i not to mention it?)

"sekahaji is such a fun song" and then the first lines of the song after the bunch of hey heys and it's showtimes are already giving me a bunch of an emotional damage. oh, man. being a wxs fan sureee is so fun.

while we're at the topic of the first lyrics, it's kinda interesting that rui's the one who says "let's go!" instead of tsukasa, as this is expected from the latter with his position as the troupe leader — but i'm not going to read too much into it, because i doubt it matters lol. if i have to somehow explain it, then i'd say it's because rui's a stage director, so he's in charge of being the one to start the show. sort of. it's not really important.

"with a cast who can use magic and monsters who are burdened with trauma" is such a tsukasa line, honestly. it may seem more rui-like at first, but it fits tsukasa a lot, too. personally, i always interpret it as a spark contrast between who wxs were and who wxs are now — their pasts weren't the most pleasant thing ever (with exception of maybe emu, but even she is still haunted by the grief from her grandpa's death), they indeed were pretty traumatized (especially rui, but you cannot just ignore the rest). they were monsters, because they weren't perfect. and tsukasa is the type of person who strives for perfection.

they're not monsters anymore, however. (they never were, but try to explain it to four traumatized teenagers) now, it's their turn to be the magic-using cast! and the mentioned magic is them putting on shows and spreading shows, obviously. if you read into it a bit more, you can even say that the former cast, the one from when wxs were still these so-called monsters, was their idols, the people who sparked the dream of performing in them — seiichi amami, rakunosuke otori, yuka kazamatsuri and tom gray. (such an insane april fools unit)

in the ruinene alt, rui's the one who sings this line. and this stings a bit, because obviously... he'd think of himself as a monster burdened with trauma. rui...

nene is the one who sings this line in original, and this makes sense. that's a rather logical line, and so is nene. "disappear" isn't meaning death here, as it often means in the proseka terms — "disappear" is just the another word of something passing, something ending. vanitas vanitatum et omnia vanitas, you can say. i'm sorry that was stronger than me.

the disband arc (i'm so sorry, i know we're way past it. but it is an important part of the wxs lore. i'm not going to shut up about it) had it very beginning in nene, after all. its first mentions appeared in mermaid admiration, which was just a mere start of both the second arc and the second rotation (wxs has only just started getting better, after all!), and then island panic started the domino that was curtain call, amidst a dream and so on, and so on. nene knew that everyone's destined to disappear — to part ways — someday. this was creeping up to her from behind almost from the very start.

in the emukasa anabo, it's emu who got this line. it makes it even worse, because it's what emu's perspective of the disband arc was about. she wanted to stay at wonder stage, nene, rui and tsukasa wanted to go further than it. everyone's destined to disappear someday, because her dream is just too simple for them to share it.

okay, i'm gonna be honest here — i have no clue what to do with this line. i didn't want to skip it, as it's rui's solo line and is surrounded by such impactful words, it surely makes sense, i just don't really see it at this moment. sorry rui. the best i can do is to say that "heartbeat fading over time" may symbolize rui's deteriorating mental state in middle school, but, like... that's an awful reaching.

it makes a bit more sense when you look at it from tsukasa's pov, both because he has this line in the emukasa alt and because it's a song formed from his feelings — the heartbeat here is his real ambition, his want to make everyone smile and the way he forgot it in the main story. still don't know what to do with the ticket that's long past expired. my thoughts are kinda going in the direction of it being wonderland sekai, but i don't have any argument to actually explain it.

finally coming to an end of this part, (not because it's bad, but because it hurts), at this point you can guess that it's a line sung by emu and oh god, it made me suffer so much when i was waiting for our happy ending to release. yep, it's the foreshadowing of the disband arc again, who would've think, right? looking back at it now where the disband arc is finally resolved (for now. it's going to come back one day, surely), it's one of my favorite lines in the song, as it touches emu's internal struggle during these days perfectly.

i'm assuming the "let's come" means "let's come here" as in: come to a certain place (in my interpretation, wonder stage) because i have no idea why the "here" isn't here, as i was pretty much convinced that it was. but whatever. the way i see this line is how emu was always happily inviting the rest of wxs to visit wonder stage, wanting to spend time with them and make everyone smile, yet deep down in herself still knowing that she shouldn't take it as granted. she would want to spend yet another year with wxs by her side, but, back then, it was not a promise. there was always this possibility that next year, she'll be alone once again — because wonder stage is their place to go, but it's not going to be this way for forever.

in the ruinene anabo, nene got this line. i'm not going to say a lot about it, as i've already covered this topic before — it's a mermaid admiration reference, once again. even more so in this very line, because when i think about associating this line with nene, the first thing i see is her mermaid admiration untrained.

i think it's also pretty interesting that while tsukasa and rui got the lines that are more similiar to main story/first arc, emu and nene got the lines about the second arc!

i don't have much to say about it, it's just that rui sings this line and it makes me think about main story — to the wxs fall-out, specifically. the troupe didn't even properly start yet, just like the world!, and yet there are already bad things happening — tsukasa screamed at nene for messing up the show, rui got mad at tsukasa and decided not to come here again, emu is blaming herself for everything, for being unable to make them smile. it's definitely already no-good... just like most of rui's experiences.

as you can probably guess by the way the line distribution is arranged in the alts, tsukasa got this line in emukasa anabo. and this makes a lot of sense after all too, because, well... it was him who messed up. maybe it's about the moment when he finally realizes his true feelings?

the only explanation for this line is that tsukasa's feelings are currently all over the place because he's experiencing overstimulation. the conclusion is that tenma tsukasa has ADHD, thank you, time to pack it up, analysis over, everyone go home

i'm just kidding, but this line has been permanently noted in my brain as "the ADHD tsukasa line" ("why not autism tsukasa line" take a good look at my url. the sole reason is that i'm a bit insane) so it's hard for me to see it as anything else. we're not discussing tsukasa's obvious neurodivergence today, though, so let's move on to me trying to actually make something out of it—

"there's too much noise" part belongs to nene, while the rest of the line is sung by emu. nene (more in the early game than nowadays, but still) is often seen complaining and flinching at loud noises, and this was my first thought, however! emu got this line as well, and she doesn't really have any issue with loud noises as she's a very energetic and cheerful person, right? (and so is tsukasa and yet for some reason he has this line in his very own song. but i'm not going to repeat myself) here comes my second thought — it's referencing the main story fight. it would make sense both for nene (she's the one who is screamed at) and emu (she thinks it's her fault for being "selfish") to have it. this is also one of the two exceptions where it's not just rks emnn singing each other lines — rui and tsukasa in their respective anabos got the "there's too much noise" part. if it was about the fight, it'd make sense for rui as well — after all, he's the one who has to look at his childhood friend getting blamed for something that is partially his fault.

on a slightly unrelated note, i'm a big fan of the way how in emukasa alt tsukasa sings "there's too much noise" in a voice that's close to breaking, while emu is happily going "so much noise! and it keeps getting worse!!" with sparkles and flowers all around her. i love her so much. never change emu.

besides "just as i always have" that's sung by nene, this whole line belongs completely to emu — and i think this says a lot. the "deteriorating, abandoned room" is yet another metaphor for wonder stage, because that's how wonder stage was like when tsukasa sees it for the first time; deteriorated and abandoned, with emu as its only visitor. but emu doesn't give up. emu keeps on dreaming, keeps on wishing for it to return to its former glory.

i didn't say anything about the first line, because, uh. despite being sung by emu, i think it correlates to tsukasa and his ambitions more, etc, etc... but i also don't have a clear enough thought to elaborate on it. sorry!

the deeper we are in the song, the more cheerful the melody and the vibe of it gets, while the lyrics are starting to go in a slightly... different direction. the lyrics are inviting you to a never-ending party, a way to cope with all the bad things that happen to you. it fits wxs a lot, doesn't it? they're the group that is sharing childlike wonder with everyone and wishes to make people smile, while themselves are being often paralleled with niigo and aren't really the happiest and healthiest people in the universe (and they have a habit of not talking about their feelings as well). it would make sense for them to want to cut the negativity in their lives off, not only for their own sake, but also for the sake of the others around them (after all, this was the whole point of smile of a dreamer). wonderland sekai is their place to go, a place where they can drown themselves in the never-ending fun and fight off the negativity. because... they still can do it, right? because the world hasn't even started yet.

at this point, they're much better, obviously. because we're almost four years in the game and now wxs isn't only their escapism anymore, it's the place filled with the people they all love so much. but when we were still at main story, it'd make sense for them to be just like that, as their bond still wasn't as strong as it is now back then.

this part came out a bit too angsty than i wanted and i'm not proud of it, but i don't really know how to express what i mean with it in words. if you actually understood my intention, then you deserve a gold star. i'll have to rewrite it a few months later probably eh

while a lot of people think of this line as of a really dark one, i don't think that's the case! actually, it's a rather positive and optimistic one. the mention of hell can make someone flinch, that's for sure, but it's the same case as the mentioned earlier "monsters burdened with trauma" — it's just wxs self-deprecating themselves because of their past. for most of them, their past experiences surely could be called "hell", because everyone experiences trauma differently. but they're not in this hell anymore. their past is over, they're not alone anymore, they have each other now — this is their happy ending that plays out... from their phones, in form of the untitled.

after all, rui was right! the ending for sure will be a happy one, as long as they are together!

i've noticed that a lot of the sekahaji lyrics are matching with the latter ones, and this is no expection: once again, the first line talks about the first arc events, while the second is leaning more onto the second arc, just like in the first verse.

i'm not a native english speaker, so i have to admit, i had to look up what does thick-skinned mean lol i'm a bit surprised that's actually a rather positive thing? with how tsukasa was acting in the main story, i was expecting it to be more on the negative side. i can't say that it doesn't fit, though. tsukasa's most famous (?) depiction as a king is his wonder magical showtime card, while wonder magical showtime itself is an event focusing on how tsukasa is not going to let go of emu's dream that easily, that even the criticism of the phenniland members that didn't want to help them at first is not going to stop him (although it's been a long time since i watched wms, so correct me if i'm wrong!) — and that's what i understood that thick-skinned means.

meanwhile, rui is the alchemist. he's often described as such and is even depicted as one in his revival my dream card (...but we don't talk about revival my dream). and while "full of desires" doesn't neccesarily mean greedy — it's normal to have wishes and desires, after all — rui is not only called that by himself, but by the game as well, since he, too, has his own desires. and... having too much desires is a dangerous thing. (it kind of sounds like i'm demonizing rui i'm going to cry. that is NOT my intention i swear.)

and as i said earlier, the second line is corresponding to disband arc again. presented as the happy, unbothered group on the surface, wxs is some kind of an utopia, a perfect world, and so is their sekai — but they're always being followed by this feeling of uncertainty, of impending goodbye. or rather, were followed. whether you think disband arc is going to come back one day or not, i think it's safe to assume that sekahaji's references are not going further than our happy ending. at the point of the wxs story where we are now, the disband arc is resolved. of course, one day their utopia will cease to exist and they'll truly be forced to leave their attachments behind, returning to the real world. but this day is not today. today, they can still be happy. because the world hasn't even started yet. (or has it, it's just more pleasant that they were expecting?)

i didn't mention who's singing these lines earlier, but... i've already covered this topic many times. tsukasa (rui in ruinene anabo) is singing the first, nene (emu in emukasa anabo) is singing the second. and my explanation for it is pretty much similiar to the verses from the very beginning, so... yeah, let's just move on to something more interesting, shall we?

this fragment is matching the fragment starting with "there is too much noise", so that's my yet another argument for it referencing the main story fight — and this part is way more transparent in doing so. "there's too much conflict" is sung only by nene, but the latter part is sung by both her and emu. and as we already know, nene was the one who suffered the most in it, while emu was the one blaming herself the most (interestingly though, nene sings the "i couldn't help but worry" in the full group version!). the boys got "there's too much conflict" in their respective alts as well, so rui singing this line applies to his reaction to the fight, too.

"it's like when our arms are all tangled together" could be the failed show, because that's what happens when you mess up. it's also emu who sings this, and it's a very emu-like way of describing things.

and even though tsukasa is not singing the last line (it's still either emu or nene, depending on the version) it's still his untitled, so i can boldly say that it's about him. he brushed off the dust of his memories and rebooted himself, remembering his true feelings and entering his path to become a better person. the fight has ended and we're nearing the end of the song, just like we're nearing the end of the main story.

you can also say that it's about rebooting robonene. that... would work as well, i guess.

haha, hey, do you know what's happening on nene's mermaid admiration untrained? wxs are playing with fireworks, together. and do you know what they also want to do together? stay like that for forever. it truly was out firework show that lasts a lifespan!

the motif of a firework show appears also in wonder magical showtime, where it's an ending for the show the phenniland cast put on to save phoenix wonderland from being turned into a place that doesn't resemble the old phoenix wonderland at all. it's no wonder wxs would want it to last a lifespan. after all, it's emu's dream for phenniland to never change and always be the place that she remembers from her childhood.

and this is just a description of wonderland sekai, honestly. it has roller coaster in it + they are often seen in the background of various wxs cards. the starry skies are often present as well. it's not like we got two (2) songs with "starry sky" in their name for nothing.

i feel like "the best of the worst of crappy plays" is the show that sparked the main story argument in the first place — it was messed up, so it was crappy and horrible, no doubt for that. but it's also the best — why? because if not its failure, tsukasa wouldn't find his true feelings and wxs wouldn't even form. when such a crappy play made you get closer to your best friends and turned your life for the better, how can you not feel at least slightly grateful for its existence?

the second line is included here as well, because i don't really have an idea what to do with it. it's such a great line, however, so it would be a shame to just leave it out. the only thing i'm going to mention is that it's interesting that the prospect of an ending was there with them from the very, very beginning.

this one i see as a nod to smile of a dreamer and wonder magical showtime — because emu's family already had their own plans about what to do with phoenix wonderland. these were the plans that'd make them a lot of money, so it was their "harmonius future", even though emu didn't agree with it.

emu alone wasn't able to do much, but then she met wxs... and then the entirety of phenniland stood by her side. together, they were able to break the plans for a harmonious future. together, they were able to made her dream come true.

and, finally, the last line i'm going to talk about today! the bell is a symbol for new beginnings, just like this lyric itself says, so the act of ringing it is a new era in tsukasa's, emu's, nene's and rui's lives beginning — the formation of wonderlands x showtime! especially since it's the last line in the song aside of the last the world hasn't even started yet (not counting the hey heys and it's showtimes once again).

this is not the only time the bell is referenced in a wxs song, though — because it made an appearance also in the 2DMV for sekai wo terasu tetrad, once again symbolizing a new beginning, a new era, although this time it's a sekai expansion. and because i mentioned sekai wo terasu tetrad, i can now swiftly go to the conclusion of this post:

sekahaji is such a great song, because despite being the first wxs comm, it's foreshadowing the events way up to the third anni and this is not talked about enough. is this still applying to the events after the third anni? nope! not because they cannot be easily altered so they could still fit the lyrics, but because sekahaji has simply fulfilled its purpose already. i haven't studied sekai wo terasu tetrad's lyrics that much in-depth yet and i don't think it has the same 100% lore value that sekahaji has, as i don't think there's anything that hints tetrad being a canon second untitled, but it's the song released by the occasion of a sekai expansion — and if there are going to be future events foreshadowed, then it's going to happen in tetrad. not going to think about it too much for now, as three events (world link not included) isn't enough to say it for sure imo (unless it's going to be as short as the first arc was), but that's definitely a possibility.

that would be all! there's too much of my rambling in here anyways. i haven't really checked it, so i'm sorry if i ended up saying nonsense — after all, as i always say, i'm a overthinker, not an analyst! everything i said here is just my personal interpretation either way. i hope that you at least enjoyed listening to me babbling about sekahaji for way too much words straight!

and i hope that my main goal has been accomplished and you've just went to listen to the world hasn't even started yet because now you, too, have thought about it. right? <3

[sigmastolen]

oh i almost forgot to show you!

mom and baby raccoons in the park on sunday!

[pannazmiya]

[poorshadowspaintedqueens]

On Anniversaries

Apparently I started this Tumblr 10 years ago.

Yegads.

Anyway, if you’re inclined, I’d be curious to know why you’re here. Askbox open.

[latin-phrases-showdown]

Round 2 Poll 7

Translation and propaganda for Post tenebras lux

Translation and propaganda for Vanitas vanitatum et omnia vanitas

[dutch-and-flemish-painters]

Godfriedt van Bochoutt - Still life with dead birds - 1662

Godfriedt van Bochoutt (1659–1666) was a Flemish still painter who was active in his native Bruges and Rotterdam. The limited body of work attributed to him ranges from fruit still lifes, hunting still lifes, vanitas still lifes and trompe l'oeil paintings.

Godfriedt van Bochoutt was a specialist still life painter. His known oeuvre is very limited. His subject matter ranges from fruit still lifes; hunting still lifes, vanitas still lifes and trompe l'oeil paintings.

Irrespective of their obvious subject matter, most of van Bochoutt's known still-life paintings carry a vanitas meaning. In other words, the objects in the still lifes can be regarded as references to the transient nature of all earthly goods and pursuits, the dependence on chance of life and its apparent meaninglessness. This meaning is conveyed in these still lifes through the use of stock symbols, which symbolise the transience of life and, in particular, the futility of earthly wealth and distinctions: skulls, extinguished candles, empty glasses, wilting flowers, dead animals, smoking utensils, watches, mirrors, books, dice, playing cards, hourglasses and musical instruments, musical scores, various expensive or exclusive objects such as jewellery and rare shells. The term vanitas is the key term used in the famous line Vanitas, Vanitas. Et omnia Vanitas in the Vulgate translation of the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. In the King James Version this line is translated as "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity".