#Edward Teach

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Gen — Izzy is gifted an emotional support cat

When Stede came back and the crew was reunited - they came together and got Izzy an emotional support cat to help him deal with his love for Ed.

Bonus if Ed is weirdly jealous of the cat.

Fill: Potential Catastrophe [Ed/Stede]

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this just makes sense to me

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Stede/Ed/Izzy and/or Gen Stede & The Crew — Disordered eating, angst, hurt/comfort

Post-canon, something happens to re-trigger Stede's body image issues (maybe a run-in with the Badmintons' fifth cousin twice removed?) and his feelings of inadequacy. Clearly the solution to both problems is to only eat as much as he deserves, in exchange for pulling his own weight. Obviously the most food should go to the people who worked the hardest, so if Stede finds a reason to miss meals with the crew so that there's more to go around for them, or tells Ed he's not hungry so that Ed will finish his plate for him, or gives part of his ration to the animals on board since they're more vital to the crew's wellbeing than he is, that's just logical. And anyway, most if not all of the crew has dealt with going hungry before and they still managed to be competent and hard workers. If he's not able to, that's just more proof of what a soft little rich boy he is.

Most of the crew doesn't notice – they've always eaten well on the Revenge, so a little extra food isn't as noticeable as it might be on a different ship, and Stede never really ate with the crew to begin with, so his absence isn't remarkable.

Ed doesn't notice - he's still in the honeymoon phase of getting his boyfriend back, and historically Ed hasn't been great at being able to tell when Stede's experiencing emotional turmoil and Stede hasn't been great at communicating it.

Izzy does.

+ Lucius gets involved somehow: I can see Izzy noticing the discrepancies in their food stores and how it affects Stede's ability to work first and Lucius noticing Stede's mood and unusual behavior first, and neither of them figuring out the whole picture until they talk to each other.

Fill: Just When You Think You're In Control [Ed/Stede]

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Calico Jack/Izzy — Jack is an asshole to everyone *but* Izzy, accidental injury

In an AU where Stede and Izzy never duel and Izzy is never banished from the Revenge, but Jack still comes aboard the Revenge...

Jack and Ed are fucking around, maybe with the whip, maybe with something else, and their actions result in Izzy getting injured. The crew is upset, because even if they don't like Izzy all that much, the injury is rather severe and was completely avoidable, and Ed is trying to brush it off like it's nothing. Meanwhile, seeing Izzy bleeding flips a switch in Jack's brain, and suddenly, the asshole, fratboy persona disappears as he becomes the epitome of the doting lover.

+ Izzy is pretty badly hurt, but is more shocked that Jack hurt him... and that only worsens Jack's distress. + Izzy doesn't want to be fussed over. Jack can't seem to stop fussing. It's so disgustingly cute, the crew starts to ship it. Maybe Lucius even draws it.

Fill: Sleepless Rackham Nights [Izzy/Jack, Izzy/Stede, Ed/Stede]

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Ed/Stede/Izzy — Misunderstandings, the crew thinks Ed is cheating with Izzy

Ed, Stede, and Izzy are a throuple. Stede and Izzy are very much in love, but are still discovering how to navigate their feelings for one another. Ed and Izzy, on the other hand, have been together before and are much more comfortable showing affection for one another, in their own way.

The crew doesn't know that Ed, Stede, and Izzy are a throuple, and assume Ed is cheating on Stede with Izzy. The crew, who had begun treating Izzy with something approaching respect, immediately backpedals and starts treating Izzy worse than before. Izzy, who'd started to believe that he could maybe be part of the crew, is incredibly hurt by the change, especially when it comes out that they think he's trying to break up Ed and Stede (again).

How it proceeds from there is up to a!anon, but I'd love a happy ending (but if Izzy tries to leave first, so that he doesn't 'ruin' the relationship further, I certainly wouldn't complain).

Fill: You Know What You Did Fill: Don't Say the Words You Might Regret Fill Don't Tread on an Ant, He's Done Nothing To You [Sequel to 'Don't Say the Words You Might Regret']

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Ed/Stede — Ed's first look at Stede looking nice

Between episodes 4 and 5, when Stede is healed enough to dress and groom himself as usual and Ed sees him like that for the first time. Ed probably already knew he was/would be attracted to Stede, but oops, he's way more into this guy than he thought he'd be.

Stede probably wouldn't look 100% healthy yet, but enough to make an impression.

I would not mind at all if Ed gets himself off to thoughts of Stede afterwards, but it doesn't have to go there. The kink is that first look/lightning bolt of lust.

Fill: Blossom in Purple and Red [TW: Minor Sexual Content]

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Ed/Stede — Ed goes in search of Stede when he doesn't show, finds him near Chauncey's body

Ed arrives at the docks and Stede isn't there. He waits around for a bit, then thinks maybe the guard didn't bring Stede all the way, maybe Stede got lost. He wanders back into the woods to see if he can find him. He comes across Chauncey's body. He calls out for Stede again and hears a whimper. What happens next is up to the author.

+ Is Stede just suffering from PTSD from seeing Chauncey get shot? + The bullet actually exited Chauncey's head and hit Stede. Does Ed take him back to the camp? Does he continue with the escape plan and carry Stede back to the dock, into the dingy and back to the Revenge?

Would love option 2, but okay with option 1.

Fill: In the Dark

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Stede/Ed/Izzy — Frenchie, Jim, Lucius, Fang & Ivan are protective OF Izzy, shovel talks, friendship

Lucius survived the Kraken and alongside Frenchie and Jim have seen Izzy's brittleness during the Kraken's reign. In the months where all they had was each other (plus Fang and Ivan) they've grown to understand and sympathize with Izzy's past actions (an asshole, but now a sad grieving one). And maybe they've all bonded during that time, with Izzy learning to be more unguarded around them, where they've created a semblance of friendship.

And when Stede gets back with the marooned crew everyone assumes the old dynamics would return. Stede and Ed did get together and the rest have gone back to normal except, there's been a shift with how some of the crew members treat Izzy. The ones who've experienced the past months with him have taken to defending him from the others. And when Stede and Ed start courting Izzy, the protective feelings they have switch into overdrive.

Frenchie, Jim, Lucius, Fang & Ivan have seen Izzy at his most vulnerable, have witnessed how kind he can be underneath that cold heart. And while he's still a bastard, they've come to see him as one of their own. Cue shovel talks & the rest of the crew getting the picture that Izzy is one of them now. Izzy tries not to cry at the revelation (he fails).

Fill: The Mending of Icarus [General | No Pairings, Background canon pairigngs] [TW: Sexual Content]

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Ed/Stede — Epilepsy

Ed has seizures now. From the severe head trauma.

Fill: When the Soul Leaves the Body

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Ed/Stede — Accidental sugar daddy Ed

Stede's disinherited and/or lets Mary take everything in the divorce, and pursues his neglected passions in a job with low pay. He still has his designer wardrobe but struggles to afford the dry cleaning.

Ed's successful, and a recent breakthrough exploded his wealth. He can afford to take an extended break. But he's been working nonstop for years and has no idea how to enjoy what he's earned.

Stede's credit card is declined at a cafe, Ed saves him from embarrassment by pretending they're together and paying. They hit it off, and Stede's casual advice on dealing with rich people escalates into etiquette lessons and guided shopping trips on Ed's tab; Ed finds he really likes being able to lavish gifts on Stede, and Stede feels flattered and valued, and loves teaching Ed how to treat himself.

Bonus points if they run into a Badminton type who bluescreens over disgraced impoverished Stede being doted on by the most successful guy in the room.

Fill: Tasseomancy [TW: Sexual Content]

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Ed/Stede — Westworld Fusion

Ed is a rich businessman who likes to go to Delos's Golden Age of Piracy version of Westworld to play at being Blackbeard whenever he needs some fantasy violent excitement to shake up his boring real life. The problem is that none of the usual activities are doing it for him on his most recent visit, so he has spent most of his time sitting around, sulking and smoking in his cabin while the Hosts who make up his crew try and fail to entice him into running story lines which he has already done multiple times across previous visits (minus the rapey options, which he's not into).

Then his crew bring him word of something new, some incompetent group of pirates who ran themselves aground on the same island Ed's ship is docked at. Looks like Ed has managed to unlock a secret story line or the park has scrambled to put together something new to keep an important customer entertained. Ed dives in with both feet and is thrilled to see that this seems to be tailored to cater to desired he didn't even consciously realize he had been feeling. This Gentleman Pirate is such a novelty that Ed can't help falling in love despite knowing Stede is just a Host, not a real person.

Except, Stede is a real person.

He and at least some of his crew are also Guests rather than Hosts (Buttons is definitely a Guest, either just letting his id hang out for everyone to see along with his dick or being deliberately weird to see if the park will do anything to try to stop him. The park's not going to stop him unless he's in immediate danger of injuring another Guest, and somebody behind the scenes is "Yes, and"-ing his antics enough to program some of the seagulls so they can talk to him. Jim and Oluwande might already be married in real life and are role playing falling in love all over again.

Maybe the whole crew are Guests who Stede brought along as some kind of corporate bonding exercise or whatever, and that explains why they're all such terrible sailors), and they've accidentally managed to run their story line off its intended path and crash it into Ed's, leaving the park employees scrambling in the background to try to set things right, because different groups of Guests are meant to be kept separate from each other to avoid confusion over who is an acceptable target for violence.

Stede and company think Ed is just another Host who has showed up as part of their story line. They're all first time visitors so they have no idea that there's anything unusual about the situation they've landed in.

Anyway, Ed and Stede play out their romance with each desperate to pretend it's real despite believing the other is an artificial construct. The park finally manages to separate Stede and Ed by way of Chauncey Badminton taking Stede away at gunpoint, and then either Ed's or Stede's group's allotted time at the park is over before they can reunite. Somehow, they find each other out in the real world.

Alternatively, if you want to write something that's slightly less romcom and more thriller, Chauncey taking Stede at gunpoint is the beginning of the Host uprising, and now all the Guests in the park have to fight for survival.

Fill: Anagnorisis (Dreamwidth) Fill: Anagnorisis (AO3 - Chapter 2 Only)

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Stede /or& Ed — Stede taking care of sick Ed

Stede holding Ed's long, gorgeous hair out of his face while he pukes his guts out (for whatever reason).

That's it, the entire prompt.

Fill: Waste Not [Part 1 | Part 2] (Dreamwidth) Fill: Waste Not (AO3)

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Ed/Stede — Pregnancy, big belly

Stede's belly, big and round with Ed's babies. That's it, that's the prompt.

Fill: Cradle (Dreamwidth) [Transgender Stede] Fill: Cradle (AO3)

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Ed/Stede — Ed washing Stede's hair or fondling it

Ed wants to learn about proper gentlemanly haircare, and Stede's hair always looks good, so CLEARLY the best way for Ed to learn is by taking care of Stede's hair for him. Ed has zero ulterior motives whatsoever, and is definitely not planning it as part of a seduction scheme!

Because yes, all the 'Stede washes Ed's hair' is 10/10, but let Ed do some hairfondling! As a treat!

Fill: Blackbeard's Barbershop

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Stede/Ed — Stede doesn't take back his words at the bar

Dammit, if we can have 'Izzy doesn't sell the crew out' fics, we can have this too.

Stede doesn't go back on saying that Blackbeard is lovely at the bar. In fact, he doubles down on it - not revealing the softest parts of Ed, the ones that Ed is still not altogether comfortable showing, but he can damned well say that Blackbeard was the best friend he ever had, talk about him taking Stede under his wing and teaching him how to be a pirate, and generally offer a better-rounded portrayal.

It doesn't make him any friends in that bar, but it's a scene I've wanted since this scene first cut me to the quick, and it might affect some of his mindset the rest of the night.

Fill: Course Correction

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Stede/Ed — Catfish AU

Chauncey and Nigel catfish Stede, using Ed's pictures. They lead him on for a while, then dump him as cruelly as they can, making him think he was a joke to Ed the whole time.

One night, Stede is out with friends and sees the real Ed. He chases him across a busy street to yell at him, and REALLY lets him have it. Ed has no idea what he's talking about. They realize what must have happened, and Ed takes Stede to get a drink to calm him down. They end up getting together for real.

Fill: Catch Fish [Series] (AO3) [Incomplete (Last updated: November 2022)] Fill: Teach a Man to Catfish (Dreamwidth) [Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12] [Abandoned: Moved to AO3 (Catch Fish Series)]