#Esme Shelby fan fic

[missmomof3]

Deep Regret (shelby sister fic)

Sorry if this is awful, this is my first time ever trying to write a fanfiction. I'm not sure what this would be classified as but probably too long to be a drabble. Maybe an imagine? If anyone reads this, thank you and I am fine with criticism (I'm sure I did lots of things wrong) but please be kind.

Summary: y/n shelby always tried to make her family happy, but they all believed Grace over her and soon most bonds were disintegrating, especially with Tommy, who she'd always loved and looked up to.

TW:character death, not proofread, possibly missing some so read at your your own discretion.

"Y/N get in here!" Tommy yelled from his office at you where you were sitting in Michael's office doing your homework.

"What did you do this time" Michael asked, irritated but fortunately not at you, he hadn't turned on you.

You had always been Tommy's favorite sibling, him more of a father than a brother to you until Charlie was born. Until recently you'd even lived at Arrowhouse with Grace and him. But after Charlie was born suddenly Grace began complaining to Tommy of how disrespectful you were when no one was around. That you called her names, taunted her and even until they married, had nicknamed little Charlie "the bastard". But just to her, not around anyone else. You hadn't ever done any of that and at first were confused when Tommy began yelling at you frequently and you weren't allowed alone with Charlie anymore.

He held a family meeting without you there to discuss your behavior. By the time that happened you weren't friendly to Grace anymore because what was the point when you'd be in trouble anyways. The family had noticed the tension so for the most part believed Tommy when he told them of your troubling behavior and they began being short with you and before long it felt like all you had left was Ada, Finn and Michael. Polly was no Grace fan but was disappointed in you for supposedly insulting a baby and felt like you should be grateful Grace had agreed to let you live in their house. John, Esme, Arthur and Linda took that line of thinking as well, deeply disappointed in how you went from being one of the sweetest people they knew to being so disrespectful and cruel. They especially were disappointed that you'd be so two-faced and only do this while no one else was around. At least have the backbone to own your behavior was their thoughts.

So now here you were, living with Polly because even though she was disappointed you were still her niece, but living with hostility everywhere. You were still polite when you saw Grace, but now you held yourself back from everyone so their accusations and lack of faith in you didn't hurt so badly.

Responding to Michael's question with a shrug, you got up to walk into Tommy's office ready to be told off again for some imagined offense.

"Sit down y/n," Tommy said coldly, "and explain to me why you felt the need to make my wife cry last night."

Family dinner was held at Arrowhouse last night, and even though you hadn't wanted to go, Ada promised she'd be there and insisted you go with your head held high, knowing you were innocent. She never believed Tommy, remembering how it felt when Grace's betrayal took her Freddy away. Remembering you sneaking to her place to help with Karl, and how alone she felt thinking her brother betrayed her. It baffled her how her family could believe Grace over you, but whenever she brought it up they all asked why Grace would lie when she loved Tommy and she knew how much sending you away and practically severing his bond with you had hurt him. So she, Michael and Finn still staunchly defended you but gave up on getting through to anyone. That's why last night you stuck close to Ada, never being alone with Grace, in the hopes this very incident wouldn't be happening.

"Tell me, oh brother of mine, what did I do to Grace now?" You asked, no longer worried abour his reaction to your attitude since you had already grieved the loss of your relationship.

So he started laying out some imagined conversation that happened in the kitchen when Grace went to ask Mary a question. According to her you'd seen her and started criticizing her hosting skills, telling her what a disaster the upcoming charity gala would be.

You smirked at his tirade, because this time you knew you had proof. "Call Ada, ask her what happened last night" you said, standing up and getting ready to leave.

"I haven't dismissed you yet," Tommy clipped, grabbing your arm. "I am putting you on notice, if you do anything to embarrass Grace tomorrow night at the gala, I will have no choice but to completely cut you from the family the minute you turn 18. That means no help, no using the Shelby name, you'll be on your own."

"Bold of you to assume once I'm 18 I'll be sticking around here" you said, rolling your eyes, "I know my place now, at the bottom. When I'm an adult I'll take care of myself. I'll miss the family I had, but I'll make my own." Then you left.

Tommy sat with his head in his hands. You'd never know how much his heart broke to imagine you completely gone from his life. He didn't know how to reach you anymore. His sister, closer to a daughter. He still loved you so much and had hoped tough love would work, but he missed you deeply and choosing his wife and son had felt like removing a large part of his heart. If only you could have stayed the sweet girl you once were, before jealousy had taken over.

When Grace first went to him with your behavior, he hadn't wanted to believe it. But the more she went to him and the more you denied it the more arguments it caused between him and Grace. Until finally she told him he was putting his true family aside for a girl who wasn't his daughter, who would eventually marry and leave him, while his wife and son suffered in the meantime. It became easier to give in, to be angry at the strife in his house that you were causing. Especially when it stopped as soon as you moved to Polly's.

But he couldn't ignore the voice at the back of his head reminding him Grace was an accomplishhed liar while you had always been awful at it. So he called Ada. 30 minutes later he was more conflicted than ever but knew he needed to get answers from Grace. Ada confirmed you had never been alone with Grace, never even went to the kitchen. Then he spoke to Polly who also had never seen you leave Ada's side. Now Polly was beginning to demand he find out if they had been wrong all along, if her niece had been sacrificed for familiy unity. Michael had been chipping away at her beliefs for awhile now and this seemed to confirm it.

That night, Tommy sat Grace down, determined to find out the truth. After a lot of obfuscation and denial it all came out. She'd been feeling guilty for some time now whenever she saw how heartbroken and torn her husband was, but she was petrified he'd love his son less than his sister, and with her standing in the family being only strong because of Tommy's love for her and Charlie, she panicked and in that panic had thought if she got y/n sent away, Charlie and by extension herself, would always be his top priority.

This saddened him greatly for a multitude of reasons. Her lack of faith in him even though he'd never been the betrayer in their relationship, his poor choices, his cruelty to you, the loss of that bond. It all hurt.

The next day, before heading out on business he demanded a family meeting be held. He made Grace come with him and confess all. She did, because deep down she felt awful that she'd ruined the life of a sweet girl that had never been anything but kind to her. She'd seen the loss of spark in your eyes and couldn't deny any longer how horrible her behavior was. Maybe this could be fixed. At least your relationship with your family, especially Tommy. He missed you deeply and maybe the memories of all the years he'd loved and taken care of you could combat the time he'd spent alienating and breaking your heart.

The family was horrified but not shocked. Deeply disappointed in Tommy and themselves they made a plan to begin making it up to you. Tomorrow, after the gala, they'd all individually apologize and set about making things right. Work was cut short so they could all get ready, but at least tonight they'd be knd to you and start treating you like the beloved little sister you'd always been.

Tommy and Grace rode in silence to the gala. Grace didn't know how to bridge the gap and Tommy was lost in thought. Before they got out he turned to her and said "After you apologize to y/n, we can begin fixing us. You're Charlie's mother and I still love you, but you broke my trust and cost me someone precious. So right now, let's just focus on righting the wrongs we both have done." Grace agreed sadly, knowing it would be a long time before she had her husband back, but accepting this as the consequences for her bad decisions.

For you the night was going great! Everyone was suddenly friendly, and even Tommy had a warmth in his eyes at you that you hadn't seen in a long time. Grace had made a point of complimenting you and suddenly everyone wanted to talk to you. It made the night pleasant, but you weren't getting your hopes up. You'd built walls and they weren't coming down because suddenly people treated you like you were family again. You stuck around Ada and Finn.

While everyone had been having epiphanies and making plans to repair relationships today, you'd been doing some thinking of your own. Mostly thinking about how different your life might have looked had you had parents. They maybe would have loved you unconditionally. Maybe your relationship with your brothers, their wives, your aunt would have been better if they hadn't also had to help raise you. For so long, you hadn't felt you were missing anything because you had brothers, a sister, an aunt, and more recently a cousin and sisters-in-law that loved you ahd made you feel protected and like you belonged. As a child you'd had multiple people to go to for love, advice and help, it never occurred to you that that could all be taken away. Even during the war, the letters you got from your brothers and the presence of Finn, Ada and Aunt Polly had always kept you from feeling lonely. Now you knew that could be taken away and now you knew loneliness. Now you felt like the orphan you were.

Tommy was walking away from some duchess when he caught your eye and motioned you over. You went over hesitantly, hoping you weren't about to be chastised for something. As you walked up to him, he was in conversation with Grace about her necklace. Hoping to slip past them without being seen as everyone was moving into the banquet hall to eat, you suddenly heard someone yell out "For Angel!" with a gun in their hand. At once time slowed down and sped up and all you could think of was little Charlie losing his parents and becoming like you. Not even realizing you were moving, suddenly there was a sharp pain in your stomach and you were falling into another person.

Everything became chaos. Tommy was horror stricken as he held his baby sister's head in his lap while Grace was putting pressure on the wound. He yelled for someone to call an ambulance and kept trying to get your attention, because you were still breathing but staring at the ceiling like you could see someone there.

"Please, y/n, please look at me, stay with me, don't leave me" he begged, running a hand soothingly through your hair as tears streamed down his cheeks, all the while remembering years of time spent together, how you would climb into his bed after the war and just lay beside him when he'd have nightmares, grounding him and reminding him he was home, safe and warm, not in a tunnel, no enemy shovels around.

Grace had one hand putting pressure on your wound, the other holding your hand while she cried as well. She was horrified at what her behavior stole from you, while you had literally saved her life. Thinking back on the sweet little girl back when she was a barmaid, asking her to sing because her voice was "beautiful" Soon she was nudged roughly out of the way by John who took over putting pressure on your wound, tears streaming down his cheeks. His thoughts on the girl he used to throw in the air when she was little, her always trusting he'd catch her.

Arthur was beating the man who had fired the bullet, he couldn't make himself stop. All he could see was you in his arms as a baby, your finger wrapped in his and your eyes looking at him so trusting, and how much he'd let you down by not going against Tommy.

Polly was on the phone getting an ambulance, begging them to hurry, trying to keep herself calm as she remembered all the times when you were little and would hold out your arms, confident you'd get picked up and cuddled, she could almost feel the warmth of your head on her shoulder.

Ada was holding Finn, praying silently for her sister, most recently at an age where she was fun to shop with, try on clothes together, the girl who would confide in her because she trusted Ada's judgement and knew she was safe to be herself with her.

Michael stood at the door waiting for the ambulance, doing his best not to cry, thinking of his cousin who, even feeling alone and rejected by almost everyone, would listen as he spoke about his girlfriend, and who would joke around with him while doing homework.

Esme and Linda stood by Grace, quietly crying, both thinking of how welcoming and sweet you'd been when they were introduced to the family. Esme knowing no one and yet you immediately treated her like a sister, helping with the kids and softening some of Polly's harshness during the London expansion. Linda wishing she'd gotten to know you better, but remembering how you'd hugged her when she and Arthur got married and said how you knew she'd make him happy and help him find peace.

Regret and sorrow ran so powerfully through the large ballroom it felt like they were a physical presence.

[lovebitesimagines]

‘God I’ve missed you’- Esme Shelby.

Prompt #13 with Esme and John Shelby.

I've written this from Esme’s POV, and I really hope you guys enjoy it. It’s something different than what I'm used too, but I quite liked writing this way. Esme is such a cool character, and I love her and John together. Thank you to anon for requesting this!

Tag list: @biba3434

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Warnings: None.

Pairing: Esme x John.

Word count: 1.4k

When I was a little girl, I always dreamt of a white wedding. I pictured crowds of my family and friends, stood watching me proudly as I was given away to my soulmate. I drew endless sketches of my white dress, the flowers I would have picked, what my groom would have looked like. I always had a talent for art, spending countless hours creating drawings upon drawings.

           I was ten years old when I discovered men didn’t appreciate a talented woman, one who had her own mind and dreams. I was soon silenced, my artistic potential going to waste, like half of Birmingham. I was forced to do as men wished, following the demands that would often be cruelly thrown my way. I was given no choice, apart from ‘shut the fuck up or you’ll get what’s coming to you’.

           That threat worked until I was sixteen. I had enough of being suppressed. I had words, countless words and ideas that I wanted to verbalise, to bring out into the world. I wanted to paint Birmingham with my imagination, I wanted to see the world.

           ‘Too wild, they said. She’s untameable, we don’t know what to do with her’. I’ve heard all of that before, and I can’t help but feel proud of the words they throw at me, of the colours they paint me in. When I turned twenty, even I had to admit that perhaps my rebellious nature was starting to get out of hand. But I loved it. I hated being tied down, forced to be an uncharacteristically soundless vessel of a woman.

           I thought I had everything under control. I thought that I, Esme Lee, could handle anything my family threw my way. That was until they started launching the words ‘marriage’ and ‘Shelby’ at me. By Christ I panicked. I always thought that I would get to pick who I got married too. I had imagined a wild romance, one for the ages that they would write about one day in history books. I was foolish.

           I had heard about the Shelbys’ before. You would have had to be living underneath a rock to escape that name. My family had been at war with them, for as long as I could remember. It was a stupid, pointless argument which had continued to escalate. Started by men, but that was no surprise. The Shelby family didn’t scare me, despite the fact that they stuck razor blades in their caps. I have seen men worse than them. Far worse.

           Now my family were arranging my marriage, to one of the Shelby brothers, as means of making a truce. It was hilarious really, that I was their last resort. I guess it was a win-win situation for my them though. They’d have peace from both The Peaky Blinders, and me.

           I wasn’t allowed to know who my future husband was, the only sighting I’ll be having of him is when we make our vows. Yet I was never nervous, never apprehensive of what was to come. A calm washed over me, as I kneeled beside my future husband. I remember how I felt when I first laid eyes upon him. I’m not ashamed to admit that I was immediately entranced by his baby blue eyes, and childish grin. I could instantly tell that we were alike, me and him. His name still easily rolls of my tongue, leaving a burning sensation in my mouth. John Michael Shelby.

           I was surprised not only by how well I fitted into life in Small Heath, but also how easily I took to marriage. John helped make it easy. We worked together, me and him. Two lost souls battling together against the darkness of the world. We were magnetised towards each other, working in perfect synchronisation.

           That’s why, every time John would leave for business, I would not be able to sleep. My mind would be picturing the darkest things that could happen to him. Each situation cruelly taunting me, replaying in my mind like a badly filmed movie. That’s where I was now, watching the hands on the clock slowly turn, announcing it was officially two in the morning.

           I’ve already bitten my nails down to short little stubs, gnawing at the skin on my fingertips. It is a nervous habit of mine, one that I had sworn countless amounts of times that I would break. I ran out of cigarettes almost an hour ago, and I refused each drink Polly offered me. I want my mind to be clear, not fussy, just in case John needed me.

           I’m unable to sit still. The chair I’m sat on rocking slightly, as I bounce my knee up and down. I’m perched near the window. I want to be able to see them walk down that street, their cocky swagger proving that everything will be okay. I can see Polly throw me the occasional annoyed glance, growing frustrated at the sound of my foot constantly tapping against her wooden floor. But she doesn’t say anything. She is waiting for them too.

           Grace is far more relaxed than us. If she is nervous, she does a damn good job of hiding it, her face a mask of calm. She busies herself, with making us all tea. The sound of china teacups rattling against the tray seems to tip Polly over the edge.

“Fuck off with the tea. Will do us no good if they don’t come back” Pol snaps, her eyes flashing angrily at Grace as she lights a cigarette. Her and Grace have never really gotten along, not since it was revealed that she was an agent of the crown. She had only accepted her, for Tommys’ sake.

“They will come back Pol. They always do” Grace murmured, her Irish accent reminding me of home. She placed the tray upon the coffee table, ignoring Pol’s outburst, pouring us all a cup. I take mine of her, smiling gratefully, before resuming my position at the window, eyes firmly placed upon the goings on outside. I take a sip of the tea, the warm liquid running sweetly down my throat.

           It’s raining outside, and I softly curse the mist that blurs my vision. The streetlamps went off hours ago, the only light coming from the moonlight. I strain my eyes to see out in the shadows, and I’m met with only darkness.

           I knew it was a bad idea, this meeting with Selbini. That man was nothing but trouble, an incredibly menacing blight upon society. I knew that he would stop at nothing to get his own way, to get what he wanted. I just hoped that John wouldn’t run his mouth and wouldn’t act stupid. I hoped that if he did, Tommy had the right words to say or Arthur hit them hard enough.

“Maybe it’s time you get to bed Esme. It will do you no good. Not in your condition” Grace says softly from behind me, and I can sense her concern drowning me. I shake my head. There is no way in Hell I’m going to bed, not until my John gets home.

“Not until he walks through the door” I whisper, my hands instinctively falling upon my bump. If I try hard enough, I can feel the small flurry of kicks against my stomach. I’m six months gone, enough to have a noticeable bump now. I look outside again, my fingers tracing patterns upon my stomach.

           I’m not sure how much time has passed, until I see him. He’s the last to walk through the moonlight, my heart stopping until I see him. I jump up, startling Pol and Grace.

“They’re back!” my voice is high-pitched with excitement, as I fly towards the front door. I’m the first one there, almost ripping the door from its hinges as I open it. I push past Tommy, Arthur and Michael, until I see him.

“Hello darling!” John chuckles, opening his arms out for me. I run into them, holding his head in my hands, my eyes scanning over his appearance in search of any injuries. He notices this, and it only makes him smile more. “I’m fine love. I’m fine”.

           I press my lips against his, melting at the familiar warmth it brings me. He runs my tongue along my lips, and I grant him entrance. I don’t care about the rain that soaks us both through. I only care about the fact that my John is home. He’s home safe and sound, where he belongs. We pull apart after a few, brief moments, our eyes fixed upon each other.

“God I’ve missed you”

[sympathyfortheblinderdevil]

Diversion: Ch.5

Other chapters may be found on my Masterlist, since Tumblr doesn’t like links.

Esme begins to deal with the fallout of John's discovery. There are some adult themes in this chapter. Adults have some adult thoughts. It's all very grown up.

Polly placed a phone call to Tommy and insisted that he return immediately to deal with John. “He’s gone wild Tommy. I don’t know what he will do if he finds Esme before you can get to him.” There was silence on the crackling line for a beat, then Polly speculated, “I don’t know what he’ll do to you. Please be careful… I’ve never seen him like this.”

Tommy had. One time before the war, John had nearly killed a man for putting his hands on Martha. He had broken the man’s jaw so badly that he couldn’t take solid foods any longer. He would have blinded him too, had the cops not come in when they did. For all of John’s easy-going nature, he was not a man to be crossed. He could be every bit as vengeful as Tommy and as vicious as Arthur.

“Where is Esme?”

“She went out just before John stormed in. Said she felt sick and needed some air.” She almost divulged that Esme was with child, but something made her pull up short. “I sent Finn to look for her.”

“Alright. I’m on my way.”

As Polly hung up the phone Esme came back in. She froze in her tracks when she saw the state of the place. Horrified, she looked around at the mess that John had left in his wake. Her eyes widened when she saw blood, streaked and smeared across her desk while her things lay scattered on the floor. Her mouth opened to ask Polly what had happened but was cut off.

“You’d better make yourself scarce. John knows” It was bad enough that Polly knew, but the evidence of John’s reaction brought her to a new low. A combination of terror, dread, and shame made her want to sink into the Earth and disappear. John was not a man to be trifled with, and answering for her actions was a terrifying prospect.

“How? How did he find out?” Polly gestured toward the kitchen, “He overheard us. He’s destroyed the shop and he’s liable to do the same to you if he sees you before he calms down.”

Esme's eyes were fixed on the brownish red swath of dried blood painted across her desk as Polly spoke, her mind churning. “Is he hurt?”

“He cut his hand. Bled like a stuck pig. Are you listening to me?” Polly crossed the shop to where Esme stood, “He knows. It’s best that you go to stay at my house for the time being.” “We have to warn Tommy.” Her dark eyes darted back and forth between Polly’s. “I’ve already done that,” she answered curtly. “John was bound and determined that he was going to that Carleton woman’s estate to kill Tommy, but I convinced him that it was better to deal with family business here.” “Oh, God,” Esme whispered and covered her face with her hands. “There’s no time for that,” Polly stated. Her voice was firmer now, but not unkind. “You’ve made your bed, now you have to lie in it.”

In the abstract, she had wanted to punish John. She wanted him to feel the pain of betrayal that she had felt, but with some minor flirtation with a nobody, not his brother. This was meant to be a bit of harmless revenge, and it had somehow gone all wrong. How could she have known that a meaningless comment over breakfast would draw a reaction from Tommy, not John? That a fictional plot that was meant to pique her husband’s jealousy would end with her craving the longing gaze of Tommy’s eyes. She needed to figure out a way to stop the impending firestorm that would no doubt end with more Shelby blood being spilled.

“Please, Polly,” Esme gritted her teeth and struggled to fight the tears that Polly forbade her to shed, “have Tommy come to see me before he goes to John. I need to talk to him before they meet.” “And just why would you need to do that?” “I need to know what he plans to tell John. I need to know what to expect. Please, Polly. If you care for me and for my children at all!” Polly’s guilt over meddling with John and Esme’s marriage made her inclined her to give in to Esme’s pleas. Although Polly was aggravated with the transgressions that Esme had fallen into, she couldn’t bear to see her in this kind of torment. Against her better judgment she acquiesced.

“I’ll get word to him that you are at my house. He will have to pass that way before he reaches Small Heath.”

***

 Tommy roared onto Polly’s street just after midday and parked in front of her house. He sat for a moment in the car, listening to the pinging of the cooling engine as he thought about what was to come. He’d done a lifetime worth of thinking in the hours that it took to drive from May’s place to the outskirts of Birmingham. He had formulated a plan that would stem the coming tide of chaos and save Shelby Company Limited from imploding, but he had no way to mend the hearts that would be broken by the carelessness of his actions.

He never should have let his sympathy for her cross the line. He should have taken the matter up with John, kept him in charge of the shop and close to Esme’s side throughout the workday. He thought of a hundred ways that he could have helped her cause besides becoming her confidante and allowing their friendship to become more intimate. He had used his good sense to stay clear of her in the past after all of her talk about getting lost had first lit the fire of passion for her within him. He should have kept his distance.

Countless times had he fantasized about running his hands through her tangled hair, pulling her face to his, and tasting her pouty lips. He had imagined how the warm curve of her spine would feel against the span of his hands as he pressed her body into his. His eyes slid shut and he inhaled sharply at the image of her creamy skin, her pink nipples, the dark patch of hair at the apex of her spreading thighs. Her back would arch and her eyes would close as she whispered his name, Tommy…And he would touch her like she’d never been touched. He would make her body sing, he would worship her, God, he would love her…

His eyes snapped open, burning with fire, and he struck the steering wheel with his fist over and over. “FUCK!” he roared and tore his hat from his head, slinging it into the passenger side of the car. His chest heaved with every breath, and he scrubbed at his face with his hands. The prospect of facing her alone, of confronting and naming the very thing that they had been dancing around, was causing his unraveling. If he had learned anything in the world that he inhabited, it was that things could rarely be divided neatly into categories of right and wrong. There were always shades of gray— a little sinner in every saint. This, however, was not one of those occasions. This thing with Esme would end today. He had survived the trenches in France, he told himself, and so he could survive an infatuation with his brother’s wife. He slicked his hair back and replaced his hat, and in doing so, he returned to himself.

She was at the door before he knocked, and quickly opened it to let him in. A red silk scarf held her hair away from her face, which only accentuated the wide open, hunted look in her eyes. Although he tried to hold the practiced neutral expression that he had cultivated over years of handling dangerous situations, he could not keep up his façade when he saw her.

“Tommy, what are we going to do?”

She fell into his arms and her shoulders began to quake with her sobbing. He stood like a stone, swallowing hard and flexing his jaw muscles in an attempt to hold to his resolve. Images of his fantasies about her flashed through his head. He simultaneously wanted to tear her dress off and have her on the rug of his aunt’s parlor and push her away to save himself. He pushed his urges down deep into his psyche and patted her on the back in a comforting manner. She separated from him, sniffing and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. He offered her a white handkerchief which was soon smudged with black kohl.

“We are going to do the only thing that we can. What we should have done months ago.” He kept his voice even. With fluid movements, he drew his cigarettes case and matches out of his pocket and lit one. He offered it to her, and when she declined he flicked the case shut and eased it back into his pocket. He was amazed that his hands were not shaking.

She turned from him and walked to a table which held cut glass decanters of whiskey, rum, and gin on a silver tray. There were leaded crystal glasses neatly arranged on a shelf behind it, and Esme lingered there, pouring drinks for Tommy and herself. For, as long as she focused on the drinks, she could put off facing what Tommy was saying to her.

“Esme,” his voice caressed her ears, “you know what we have to do. We can’t allow this to go any farther. Even though we haven’t used our bodies to betray John, the way we feel isn’t right.”

She turned to hand him a glass of Irish whiskey and spoke, “Don’t say his name to me and talk about what’s right. Has he done what’s right by me? You and I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Hmmm,” He nodded his head and took a drink, “You’re talking to me, now. Not Polly. There’s no need to sugarcoat what has been happening.”

“But we haven’t…”

“In our hearts, and in our dreams, we have.” Tommy’s nostrils flared slightly, and his eyes roamed her face, her neck, and the bit of collarbone exposed by her dress. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth to wet it and seeing this Esme felt heat flush her face and chest. “You know we have.”

He was right. In the months that he had stayed away, while she was trying to conceive a baby with John, she would find herself imagining that it was Tommy whose body strained above her, that the velvety shaved head she caressed belonged to Tommy, and most shamefully of all, that Tommy’s cock was stretching her wide and making her come undone.

“Even now, Tommy continued, “with John thinking the worst and looking for both of us we are still drawn to each other.

She was weak in the knees from the thoughts running through her head. She sat down and immediately regretted doing so because the pressure of the chair only made the throbbing between her legs worse. “How do we stop?” she sighed.

He looked away. “I don’t know. I could go away, to London perhaps.”

Esme stared at Tommy, willing him to look her way. If what she was about to say didn’t sever his feelings for her, then nothing would, and they were doomed.

“Maybe it will be easier for us to forget all of this when the baby comes.”

Tommy turned her way. His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, then closed.

Esme had gotten pregnant to stop her from wanting Tommy. She thought that some primal urge would kick in and make her fiercely loyal to John, but it hadn’t, not yet. She needed help. Nature had betrayed her. She prayed that Tommy would do what was right, because she didn’t know if she could.

Her words pulled everything painfully into focus, and he knew what he had to do. He swallowed thickly “You are goin’ to go home to your husband and forget that any of this happened.” He swallowed again and cleared his throat, his voice cracking as he tried to push the words past his lips, “because if you don’t....” “Because if I don’t, you’ll what? Cut me from this family?” She laughed through tears. “No, love.” A weary smile tugged at his lips, but his eyes grew misty at the memory. He had to look away from her to muster up the strength to finish. “If you don’t, it will tear this family, and all that we’ve worked so hard to build, apart.” He drew a shaky breath, “All of our schemes and plans, all of the things we’ve dreamt of for our children...gone. We can’t survive something like this. And what we want,” he sniffed, and again he cleared his throat, “what we want doesn’t matter.”

She knew that he was right, but that knowledge did little to quell the bitterness in her heart. It wasn’t fair that her husband could lie with impunity about where he spent his nights, but she was denied a little bit of comfort that she had found in the world. She had never gone to bed with Thomas. She’d only kissed him one time, and their physical contact had been fleeting. With all her soul she wanted to be lost in his arms, just once.

She was already paying for sins she hadn’t committed, and this would likely be the last time she ever saw Tommy alone, so she made a decision. She rose from her chair and walked to where Tommy stood. He kept his eyes from her, instead, he looked at the wall beyond. She took the whiskey from his hand and stood inches from him as she drained the glass. He kept his hands at his sides, not daring to move, but his eyes slid closed. Esme placed her hands on his shoulders and breathed his name. When he opened his eyes she spoke.

“You have made me feel worthy of love, Tommy. With just a look, a word, a touch, you have given me back what he took away. You, Tommy. Not some punter from the shop, not some bloke from the Garrison, but you.  It may be wrong, what we feel, but there has to be some good in a person who sews love in a deserted heart.”

Tommy’s will fell away from him and he slid his arms around her waist. He pushed the outside world from his mind. His whole existence at that moment was the warmth of her touch and the smell of her skin. She tilted her head up as he drew her closer, every part of him pressing insistently against every part of her. The room became impossibly quiet as his mouth found hers, and she melted into his body. Her lips parted for him, and he slid his tongue over hers, hungrily drinking her in. Her hands roamed under his jacket and caressed his back. The feeling was so exquisite that he could die in her arms and be satisfied.

It was she who pulled away, and he sighed at the loss of contact.

She studied him. Lost in the lines of his face, his cheekbones, his jawline, and his pale blue eyes, she could see his resemblance to John and to her son. She imagined that the new baby would be blessed with the Shelby good looks as well. She took another step back and ran her hands over her stomach. She had to let him go. 

OMG! Next up, Tommy will have to reckon with John’s thirst for revenge!

Let me know what y’all think.

[calummss]

Lilac And Lilacs | John Shelby

masterlist

summary: thomas wants john to marry esme lee to finally put an end to the shelby-lee family war. john’s heart however belongs to francesca wellington, the barmaid at the garrison who finds john’s romantic talk charming but is oblivious to his intentions with her

pairing: fem! oc x john shelby

words: 2.2k

a/n: john is more romantic in this fic than canon, still i find it to be somewhat believable. my choice of words for john are more proper but nonetheless believable in my eyes if john really tried to impress a girl. even if you aren’t a fan of oc fanfics i promise y’all will love this

The door to the Garrison flew open with a loud bang, eyes of the customers already enjoying their pints fixated on John Shelby as his heavy footsteps weighted the old wooden floor of the pub. His gaze met the emerald eyes of Francesca Wellington, who gave him a defeated look; a reminder to leave the building unharmed at his expense.

‘Sorry, darling, old habits.’ His soft tone rang bells inside her head. A light blooming in the pit of her stomach as John sat down at the counter and grinned, his pearly white teeth nothing but inviting.

‘Old habits still have an urge for whiskey?’ Francesca returned the smile, her eyes reflecting the sunlight only he seemed to take notice of.

‘They do.’ John lifted his cap off his head and set it aside, the rough and violent part of him too.

Harsh walls let down that were only ever meant for her. Francesca was the only one that John ever allowed himself to be more relaxed with. More calm and less tough. A yin-yang relationship that turned heads even inside of the room, though it was no secret that the two of them were close.

‘Coming right up, Mr. Shelby.’ Her cheery voice echoed deep into his mind, the colour yellow coming to mind. Just like the sun.

‘I told you to call me John on more than one occasion, Frankie.’

‘I know,’ Francesca briefly turned around to grab a bottle of whiskey that was standing on display. ‘But it feels so informal, you know…you being a Peaky Blinder especially a founder.’ The gradual high tone that made her statement sound more like a question made him chuckle.

‘We are friends, are we not?’ John’s fingertips grazed the rim of the glass.

‘Depends how you define friends, John.’ She raised an amused eyebrow, annunciating his name with a grin, her hair the colour of wheat and sunshine more beautiful than John had remembered.

‘I believe that friends always listen to what the other has to say.’

‘I’m a barmaid, that is quite literally my job.’ Francesca placed an ashtray next to the glass. ‘To listen to old men wail about their wives and children, how they regret the life they chose and how everything is so awful, but that I am the highlight of their day…though I believe they’re talking about the bottle of whiskey more than me.’ Her giggle warmed his heart on the cold November morning.

‘Why wouldn’t you be the highlight of their day?’ John leaned forward, his breath so close she could feel it on her neck as he removed a piece of dust that was sitting on top of her hair.

Collecting herself, Francesca let out a small cough. ‘I’m a barmaid walking around in filth. Dirt all over myself, messy hair,’

‘You’re still gorgeous to me…’ The seriousness in John’s tone and face let a light blush warm the cheeks of Francesca, her fingers rubbing against each other under the counter that was the only thing separating their bodies.

Francesca’s mind wandered to Thomas Shelby. John’s older brother and the head of the Peaky Blinders. If he set something in motion then it would happen. No one dared crossing him. Why John ignored his brother’s orders was beyond what she could imagine.

‘John,’ she coughed, shaking her head at the same time. ‘You can’t say that,’ her eyes scanned to see if anyone was listening in. ‘I can’t be found being courted by one of Small Heath’s most eligible bachelors. It’s not proper for me or you.’

‘I never intend to marry Esme.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I don’t love her.’

‘Marriage is about convenience, John.’ Francesca said, her mind forced back to reality when she found herself thinking of the life she could lead with him if the circumstances were aligned with their fate.

‘Not in my eyes.’ He downed the rest of the amber gold liquid that burned his throat. ‘I want to marry for love. For a partner that matches my half…not too perfectly though because that would feel too artificial.’

‘Such a romantic at heart.’ She poked at him, his love hidden behind his eyes as clear as the summer sky the day he first saw her.

‘You have no idea, Frankie.’

For a short moment it was quiet. Cars driving past the Garrison, the sound of clanking metal, and worried mothers running after their children. John’s eyes were on Francesca the entire time she had turned her back to him, trying to gather a moment of clarity, hidden by the cleaning of various glasses that had piled up beside the sink.

‘I want to be with you, Frankie.’ His soft tone had once more invaded all her senses.

‘John, I— I don’t think you would want to be with me.’ She turned around.

‘You’re everything that I want.’

‘And what do I have?’ Her hands slammed onto the counter. Her face was pained with all of the confessions he had made the past minutes, yet she struggled to be angry at him.

John leaned forward, his pink lips pulled into a smirk as his breath met her rosy cheeks. ‘My name written all over you.’

Francesca pulled away hastily, head turning in every direction to make sure no one had heard the thing he had said. ‘John!’ She half yelled before lowering her voice, ‘You’re making me blush.’

‘I like seeing you red because of me. Makes my ego a little bit bigger than it already is.’ And he was met with a firm slap on his upper arm.

‘I don’t think I’m built for the life you lead…All the violence? Not only would I constantly be worried about my safety but also yours.’

‘So you worry about me, huh?’

‘John.’

‘I would protect you from all violence.’ He reached out to firmly hold her soft hand that felt like it already belonged to him. ‘My hands carry the weight of blood and punches so that you can wear the finest jewellery in the world.’

Francesca’s head tilted to the side, her fingers brushing against his wrist.

‘I mean it.’

She retrieved her hand, ‘You’re flirting with me in a bar full of men that have nothing better to do than to listen and eye us up and down.’

‘I’m a Shelby. I can do whatever I want, and this lady,’ he turns around, all men staring at him. ‘Feels uncomfortable with all of you listening in so unless you want to keep your ears, you keep to your business and your business only. Have I made myself clear?’

Men muttered, turning around instantly and didn’t dare to turn their heads once more. John too turned back around again, his smile painted back on.

‘John has gone all soft.’ A voice said from the back, the smile quickly dropping off of John’s face as he turned around, grabbed his cap and stormed to the direction of the voice where he grabbed a fistful of the man’s collar bringing him to his knees.

John’s free hand took the cap, the blades close to the man’s face who was now panicking.

‘I have not gone soft.’ John breathed through his teeth. ‘I merely treat a woman how she should be. Now remember what I said about the ears of the men inside this building? Same goes for your lips and tongue. I hate to repeat myself, so leave this establishment before I ruin this new suit I just got. Hate to ruin such fine work with a man’s blood not worth it.’

The man stumbled, his friends following him outside of the door. The rest of the room stuck to their business as John had instructed them moments ago.

Francesca met John’s face with widened eyes.

‘Frankie, I would never let a scratch on your body. If I did it would be the day I’d stop existing.’ He cupped her cheeks with one hand, his thumb stroking her cheek.

‘How are you ever going to make sure that I don’t get hurt? That’s practically impossible. What if I fall into a river?’ She smiled, still stern.

‘Then I will bleed every river dry that flows on this earth to stop you from ever falling into one.’

John’s grip on Francesca’s cheek grew tighter as he slowly yet steadily pulled her closer, close enough to let him kiss her as he had imagined over a hundred times. Her lips melted into his. Engulfed by his desire to deepen the kiss and push himself against her then was physically possible but it was enough that for this moment he could feel her beyond her hand and cheek. Her lips as addictive as cocaine.

John dreaded pulling away from her but held her close. ‘I’m addicted to you.’

‘What,’ she breathed deeply, her mind still processing what had just happened.

‘Every time I’m away from you, my heart only wants to feel you. My eyes want to see you. My ears want to hear your voice that’s sweet like honey. My nose wants your smell, my skin your touch. My lips melting into yours until we both forget our names.’ He paused for a brief moment, his eyes holding hers. ‘I’m addicted to you, Francesca Wellington. My heart, body, and soul belong to you. Yours to love, yours to hate, simply and utterly yours. You don’t have to be mine but I will always be yours.’

Words.

Simply just words, but they had made Francesca forget everything and anything that wasn’t John. She forgot that he was to marry Esme despite what he wanted. She forgot that she wasn’t enough, that she couldn’t give him what he needed despite his every belief.

‘John,’ her breaths drew heavier, ‘I— I told you that this cannot happen.’ She pulled away, stumbling back and steadying herself against the back counter. ‘You are marrying Esme! You are setting me up to be the girl discarded by Shelby when I already work as a maid and had a daughter out of wedlock! I’m a whore and it wouldn’t do a Shelby good to be seen with a whore. With me.’

‘You have bewitched me.’ John’s hand shot towards Francesca’s wrist, her breath caught in her throat as her lips trembled, looking at the man she felt for but could not be able to feel anymore. ‘On days I do not see you, even the warmth of the sun does not make the coldness of your absence any more bearable. The flowers hang as the dry soil does not give them what they need to survive. My heart feels an ever pit of loneliness when you are not around me. You are the sun my heart, mind, soul orbit around. They can only be complete if you are my center. Without you nothing makes sense.’

Francesca’s tears had stained her lilac dress, the colour now a deeper purple. A growing pain in her chest that made it hard to breathe. Her hands felt weighted and felt the urge to drop down to the wooden floor but she fought back, her eyes not ready to part from John’s face that has never looked the way it did at this present moment.

‘If I marry Esme, every waking moment until I close my eyes I will long for you. For your touch, your smell, your laugh, my heart clenches at the thought of a future without you. Every day I pass the lilacs that are planted in front of the flower shop and every day I fight the urge to not buy you every lilac I see because the colour reminds me of the ribbon in your hair. I don’t care what Tommy has planned for me because if you are not in his plans, there is no reason for me to continue breathing as I do now.’

‘John, I—‘

‘If you do not say that you feel the same way about me, it is better to not say anything at all. The pain would still be great but I couldn’t stomach it if you would speak the words that would break my heart.’

The urge to kiss him felt tiresome as Francesca fought every nerve in her body, blood pulsing through her veins, trying not to give in. But what happens if you leave a cheese trap for a mouse? They take it, no matter how often they do it. They take the risk.

Francesca pulled John in for a kiss. Her hands on either side of his head as John leaned over even further to taste the sweetness of the woman he had longed for.

‘Yes.’ Francesca breathed out heavily, her chest rising and falling.

‘Yes what?’

‘I’ll be with you.’

‘You will?’ John’s eyes lit up brighter than the light that shone above them.

Francesca nodded, her lips curling into a warming smile.

John pulled her in for another kiss, this time savouring her taste that he would taste and cherish for the rest of his life.

[shelbystales]

Obey - One Shot

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Summary: family meetings, they're a big thing around the Shelbys... They happen quite often and they can be messy. But what happens when Y/N doesn't agree with Thomas Shelby in front of everyone?

This takes place during the Changretta war, again.

Warning: swearing, smut 🔞. Oh btw english is my second language so i apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes.

Word count: 4k+

Requested: Heyy, I wanted to know could you write one fic w/ Tommy mad bc the reader didn't do what he said?

I hope This is what you wanted hahaha

------

Wednesday arrived with a blink of an eye.

It was four o'clock in the afternoon and the Garrison still wasn't open. Ada waited on the upholstery by the window, along with Poll, Lizzie, Finn, and Isaiah. They didn't talk much, simply waited for the meeting to start.

Arthur and Linda arrived.

They didn't exchange many words with those already waiting at the pub. Linda's belly was starting to show. The two of them have been together since before New Years... no one is quite sure when they started dating, but they suspect it was around a month after Y/N and Thomas got married last year.

nobody was a big fan of Linda, Christianity was not something that all Shelbys accepted with open arms. But if it was the least bit of comfort for Arthur... they approved. But John thought she was turning her brother into a wimp.

Finn and Isaiah were talking in a corner, they were talking about the party that would take place at the house of one of the boys their age.

Ada, Polly and Lizzie were still at the table by the window talking about some guy Lizzie was dating. Poll asked if Thomas knew about him since it was her relationship with a Changretta that started this whole war. She said yes and that this time he didn't have any beef with him.

Arthur and Linda were sitting at the bar, they didn't talk much. Linda had her chin on Arthur's shoulder as she stroked his back. Arthur looked a little uncomfortable.

John and Esme arrived along with Michael a few minutes later.

John as usual arrived as if he were the main attraction at a party, screaming and excited. "Arthur!! Long time no see you here in your own bar!" he spoke sarcastically and hugged his brother.

"Don't start John. Please" Arthur muttered under his breath as he hugged her. John rolled his eyes and greeted Linda politely but with a clearly forced smile.

After greetings. Esme sat next to the other girls while Michael joined Finn and Isaiah.

John ran behind the bar and grabbed the bottle of whiskey.

"Where the hell is Tommy, hm?" John asked raising his arms with the whiskey bottle in his hand. No one answered. "Fuck, he schedules the fucking meeting and he's late," he grumbled as he poured his glass.

"Tommy, is never late. He went to pick Y/N at work" Polly said and John rolled his eyes. You work at the local paper and an interview with Thomas Shelby that introduced the two of you.

"Well I don't fucking see him here, Poll. Do you see him?" he paused and she shook her head. John took a deep breath and tipped the glass "who wants it?" he asked offering the whiskey. Only Linda and Arthur refused. Everyone approached the bar to be served.

"How is the baby?" Polly asked Linda trying to strike up a friendly conversation after her glass was filled.

"Well" she replied smiling "starting to make me feel pain all over my body, my lower back feels like it's going to break" she laughed.

"Oh my dear... it only gets worse" Esme said laughing and raising her glass to her.

Linda smiled "I'm not really looking forward to it" she said laughing. Esme nodded.

Tom and Y/N enter the pub.

"Finally!" John spoke raising his glass.

You smiled as you took off your black overcoat.

Thomas went straight to the bar to get a glass of whiskey. He was clearly annoyed that he'd been waiting for you for nearly half an hour.

"Sorry for the delay guys, my other meeting took a little longer than planned" you said hanging your coat near the entrance.

"It's okay, honey. Unforeseen events happen" Polly said, tapping the air. Polly liked you. You smiled and nodded

"Well then we can start" Arthur said approaching the table in the middle of the room.

Tom lit his cigarette and waited for everyone to sit around the two tables joined in the middle of the Garrisson to begin.

"Can I just start this meeting with a proposal?" Lizzie said sitting down and everyone looked at her "let's have this meetings somewhere else. This pub stinks and I can't understand if it's the smell of vomit or men's sweat". Tom raised an eyebrow and tilted his head a little, taking his attention away from her, completely uninterested.

"Don't talk shit about my pub" Arthur muttered.

"Sorry" Lizzie shrugs "but it's the truth."

"And since when are you such a fucking snob, hm? For a long time this pub was what put fucking bread on the table!" Arthur spoke in a slightly annoyed louder tone. Linda placed her hand on his thigh trying to calm him down.

"Gee, I'm sorry I don't understand... I'm a snob?! Poll's wearing earrings that cost more than this joint! And I'm not even going to comment on Michael's luxury whores or Y/N... at all she represents" Lizzie spoke mockingly.

You looked at Lizzie and rolled your eyes in disbelief.

You had to keep up your appearance, you needed it for work, but for some reason that bothered Lizzie. For some reason you and she never got along very well, but you always respected each other... but since the fight with the Changrettas started she has become more passive aggressive towards you

Tom cleared his throat after he dried his whiskey glass once more, preventing you from responding Lizzie and starting an unnecessary argument.

"Everyone here knows that we are about to get into a war with the Changrettas" he started talking looking around everyone who fell silent and started to pay attention "as much as we tried, we don't have enough men and the cops are too busy to protect us" he took a deep breath as he continued "so... we have to be smart. We have to think about what he's going to do when he gets here and how we're going to react" he stopped to take a drag on his cigarette and after he released the smoke he continued "Arthur, I don't care about curfew anymore. When I need you, I'll need you, period. Linda, if this is a problem, complain to the Changrettas. I'm sure he'll be understanding, he'll answer at your request and will only do things at the time you want" he smiled mockingly at her who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms "John, I want you and Esme to move close by. The farm where you live... is very I'm far away and there's no security. It's not safe for you or the kids." John looked at Esme for approval, she smiled and nodded. John then looked at Tom and nodded, "Last but most importantly, no fucking secrets. Are you going somewhere? always let someone know. Oh and no fucking confessions" he looked at Polly who rolled her eyes "does anyone disagree?" he looked around and no one said anything "very well..." he sat down and took a sip from his glass "... Does anyone have any idea what we can do?” Tom looked around waiting.

Ada took a deep breath and said, "Tommy, we know you're just asking out of politeness. You already know what you're going to do, so why don't you cut it short and let us know?"

Tom shook his head "it's not just politeness. We rarely have good ideas here... Rarely" he smiled at Ada who rolled her eyes.

"Well, before we continue I think we need more" John said putting the last drop of whiskey in his glass.

"I'll get it" Polly said getting up.

"Can you please get me some water?" Linda asked and stood up behind Polly who nodded. As Polly got the whisky and Linda's cup of watter, Linda turned around and looked at everyone.

"You know, I really think you Shelbys are good at heart" Linda started to speak and Polly covered her eyes with no patience for what was to come. "you guys value family so much... it's beautiful to see and good to be a part of" she continued and smiled "but there's a lot of darkness in the way you live... I think you just need one thing to believe and change. I truly believe you all still have salvation." Everyone in the bar looked as if they had just heard a bad joke. Except Arthur, who was smiling. Tom snorted, smiling mockingly with his back to her. "Especially you Thomas" she added and he rolled his eyes.

"Anyone with anything relevant to talk about?" he asked ignoring Linda.

Poll handed Linda the glass of water and returned to the table with the bottle of whiskey closed, Linda joining in shortly thereafter.

John opened the bottle and filled his glass.

As he filled it, he said, "Tom, the only solution is a bullet. So that's my idea. We put a fucking bullet in his head as soon as he sets foot in Birmingham. We're the fucking Peaky Blinders! run this fucking city" he finished talking restlessly in his chair.

"I just said that we need to be smart..." he said mocking John "yes, the bullet is part of it John, but it won't be that simple" he finished putting a new cigarette to his lips.

"Why not?" John asked. He shifted in his chair, disinterested and impatient with John's lack of intelligence.

"Do you think he's going to arrive saying 'hey! I'm Changretta! How are you? ' ?" Tom asked annoyed "fuck! he's going to arrive and we won't even know he's arrived! Of course the police are there... watching who comes in and out, but do you really think he's going to come in through the fucking front door?" John looked at him and shrugged.

Thomas thought of an answer, but he just shook his head in disapproval and lit his cigarette with a long drag, trying to calm down.

You took a deep breath. You were in internal conflict whether you spoke or not.

You stared at him biting the inside of your mouth and traveled through your thoughts. You were wondering how Thomas would respond to your idea. He wasn't too happy with you at the moment, because of the meeting being late and, perhaps like several others sitting at this table, you were afraid of the answer from the one who sat on the corner of the table looking debauched.

Normally you wouldn't be afraid to speak your mind to Thomas, but today things were different.

"What are you thinking, ey?" Thomas asked looking at you

You blinked a few times, snapping out of your reverie and returning her attention to him.

You took a deep breath and looked at the whiskey glass in front of you. After taking a small sip just to wet your lips, you began to say, "I believe that no matter how rich the mafia is, bringing a bunch of men from the United States to Europe is not something that is worthwhile, financially." you paused and looked at Thomas, who was listening intently, "so I believe there will only be two or three men, besides Luca that he trusts. The rest he would have to hire here, on English soil. And you told me that the Changrettas and the Sabini had a trusting relationship..." Thomas nodded "... so he would probably look for someone that Sabini had business with, that Sabini trusted. With that in mind, I looked over the reports I had of Sabini and made a list of people I think would fit that pattern, but I forgot to bring it and the list is in my office at home. I can give it to you when we get home" you finished smiling a little nervously. Thomas smiled subtly and nodded.

"And what would we do with it?" John asked.

"We can meet with them first and make sure they don't accept any deal Changretta proposes!" Arthur spoke.

"It might work" John nodded smiling at Arthur who smiled back.

"No" you said interrupting their moment.

"What do you mean, no?" Arthur asked looking at you.

You took a deep breath, understanding why Thomas got irritated in this meetings. You were sure Tommy had already figured out the whole plan, that you didn't need to explain it to him, but Arthur and John needed it all chewed up... and indeed it was exhausting.

"If Changretta is going to do business with any of them, he already contacted them. Besides, if we knock on each one's door, they'll let him know somehow, because they have no loyalty to us and we don't know which one of them has loyalty to the Changretta. We first need to find out who he's actually going to do business with. Then we have to find out what they want in exchange for breaking their loyalty to Changretta. And when we have that all figured out we get in contact... When we already have all the cards on the table and he doesn't have any jokers up his sleeve. We can't just base ourselves on an unfounded suspicion" you explained alternating your gaze to the two brothers as you explained.

"But how are we going to find out who he's going to do business with?" Michael got in the middle and asked.

You laughed and took a deep breath, you shrugged your shoulders and said "that's the easiest Michael. You men say we women talk too much, but that's because you've never seen men bragging in a bar after a good deal is done" Polly he laughed, "and these men all know each other and go to the same Italian bars in London. We just need to get someone undercover." Thomas shifted in his chair.

"See Ada…good ideas" he said teasing her. You smiled a little relieved as Ada rolled her eyes and downed her whiskey in one gulp. "Someone else?" Tom asked. Everyone exchanged glances, but no one said anything.

"I don't think so, Tommy" Arthur said. Thomas nodded and puffed on his cigarette a few times before starting to speak.

"We'll do what Y/N said" he said looking at you, you smiled "and John is not completely wrong..." John looked at him confused, but with pride in his eyes he nodded, even without knowing for sure what Thomas was referring to "We're still the fucking Peaky Blinders and we have to remind this town of that. Eh, we don't have enough men, but if we have the citizens on our side...".

"How can they be on our side?" Ada asked

"Well we will have to create the feeling of threat... some crimes on behalf of Changrettas will need to occur. We need them to fear him so that they trust us. Because if he gets here and the people see that he poses no threat, they will not help"

You looked away as you rolled your eyes and shook your head, "I don't agree with that. They don't need to be afraid to trust you. It's a dictatorial and outdated ideal of Machiavelli, where "the ends justify the means", but you I've already decided that you're going to do that, so there's no point in me saying anything" you shrugged.

'Then why are you fucking saying it?' was the first thing that came to Thomas' mind as he stared at her impatiently.

Ada looked enchanted at you "Machiavelli? You never cease to amaze me Y/N" she said smiling

"Who the fuck is Machiavelli?" John asked irritated

As soon as the words left Y/N's mouth she instantly regretted it. Once again she had disagreed with Thomas during a family meeting, which he had insisted on asking her not to do and she had failed at practically every meeting.

You took a deep breath and didn't look back at him and payed attention to Ada as she explained who Machiavelli was.

Thomas, on the other hand, stared at you for a long moment, wondering if it was worth debating, but he took a deep breath, dragging on his cigarette, and glared at Polly.

Polly tried to hide her smile, she loved it when Thomas was annoyed. That was usually her job, but seeing someone else do it… it was gratifying.

After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Polly cleared her throat and asked you "well what do you have planned?"

"We're done here then" Thomas said getting up and closing his jacket buttons "later I'll give you more information about the progress of things".

Everyone got up and started getting ready to leave.

On the way home you and Thomas didn't speak. When they arrived, the nanny had just left and the housekeeper, Francis, was feeding Charlie. You went to the dining room while Thomas went straight to his office.

After putting Charlie to bed and showering, You knocked on Thomas' office door to hand him the list of names you had spoken.

You wore a short, baby blue nightgown, just below the knee.

You walked in as soon as he asked you to come in.

He glanced quickly at you as you entered, his eyes lingering on your exposed thighs, but he soon forced his attention back to the papers that were in front of him.

"The list of names," you said, walking past his desk and approaching the side of his chair. He thanked her by taking the piece of paper and went back to work.

"It's almost ten o'clock. Why don't you take a shower and come to bed?" you asked running your hand down his back.

"I have to finish this" he replied coldly without looking at her. You nodded and looked at the papers reading what was written. They were the terms of a contract.

"Want some help? Wecould finish faster"

"No," he replied harshly.

"Are you mad?" you asked, but this time he didn't answer "Tommy... I asked you a question". He dropped the paper and turned his chair to look at you.

"What do you think?" he asked irritably.

"Yes," you replied.

Thomas nodded "hey, you're very smart" he said mockingly and turned back to the sheets on top of his desk.

You took a deep breath.

You placed your hand on his shoulder and stroked it gently from his left shoulder to his right.

He growled angrily and shook his shoulders, wanting you to stop, but you continued with the caresses.

You ran your hand up to the back of his head and stroked the shaved part of his hair. You knew he liked it.

He dropped his head slightly forward, indulging into his senses a little, but still kept his attention on the contract sheets.

You bent down a little and placed a kiss on the back of Thomas's head.

"I'm sorry" you whispered into his ear after lightly nibbling his ear.

Thomas took a deep breath, already feeling the tension build between his legs. He picked up his glass of whiskey and took a sip, trying not to get carried away by you. But that was too hard.

"I promise I won't do that again" you added almost whispering and placing another kiss on the back of his head.

"You've said that before," he said in his irritated tone.

You let out a small laugh "I know, I'm sorry". More kisses covered his neck as you made your way back to his ear "tell me what I have to do for you to forgive me".

Your words sent shivers through Thomas, who was having a hard time staying focused on work at the moment.

You knew exactly what he wanted to do and how he wanted to handle the situation. As much as you loved the affection Thomas usually had with you in bed,you also loved the way he was when he was stressed or angry…and the sex got wilder.

"Use me however you want" you whispered and gently bit his ear again "I know I need to earn your forgiveness..." you ran a short path with your tongue along his neck, he no longer even tried to pay attention to the papers "...especially since it's not the first time I've made the same mistake" you continued teasing him he huffed low.

Thomas took a deep breath and with one quick movement he dropped the papers and stood up. Without warning, Tommy grabbed you by the hip and shoulder. A hand pushed yor back down onto the table, the sudden maneuver knocking the glass of whiskey on the table to the floor.

A loud moan of excitement left your lips, reflex to the sudden movement. It wasn't until your chest was resting on the table that you understood what had happened.

Tom bent over you and brushed all your hair to one side. You were breathing loudly as you flet yourself gwtting wet for him.

He leaned close to your ear and said harshly, "Be a good girl and be quiet. Maybe you'll learn something, ey" Tommy then unzipped his pants and took his belt off before grabbing your shoulder and pressing you against the table even more.

Then with his free hand he pulled your shirt up, getting a full view of you. He smiled at the beautiful view and slapped your ass, not too hard but not to easy either, ther perfect force. You chuckled mischievously in response.

Thomas growled "you misbehaved today" he said and slapped your ass again, a little harder. You responded in the same way as before.

Your laughter fueled the fire inside Thomas.

He then dragged your panties aside, clearing the way for him to begin. He ran his finger down her pussy "so wet love..." he commented

"This is your fault" she says jokingly.

"Shhh" he said "I told you to be quiet. Now be a good girl and obey me" and without warning he thrust inside of you quickly making you arch your back at the suddent feeling.

Two sounds filled his office. the first was your surprised cry, and the second was their groan of contentment.

"So tight..." Tommy growled with his eyes closed as his hand went to your hip, squeezing almost possessively.

Your moans quickly filled the entire office but he didn't seem bothered by the sound of them.

He increased the intensity, gritting his teeth each time he went deeper. Your hips didn't relax with the insistent pressure, on the contrary, they went into motion, in sync with each thrust.

"That's it love, keep pushing like that" Tommy moaned as he felt that you was perfectly involved with his movement.

Thomas' eyes were now fixed on your ass and their movement as they smashed against him.

His gaze climbed along the curve of your spine to your face. The shaggy mess of your hair covering your face, as much as he liked watching your face as he fucked you he didn't brush your hair out of the way.

He was pleased as he could clearly hear her panting breaths mixed with her seductive, enticing moans.

"Such a good girl" he whispered panting.

Now one of his hands was still on your hips and the other on your shoulder, keeping you practically immobile.

He started pushing harder and deeper and deeper, making you moan louder as you gripped the sides of the table. You wanted to scream, to tell him to keep going, to let him know how good that felt. But he told you to stay quiet.

Thomas slowly withdrew his cock, leaving only the head inside of you. You took a deep breath, recovering.

He kept his eyes on your beautiful ass, taking a few moments to enjoy the view.

Another slap hit her suddenly and she groaned loudly.

"I could do this all day" he said squeezing her ass with both hands and forcefully and shaking both asscheeks gently, still keeping his head in place.

"Me too... Shit I love your touch" you spoke as he gently massaged her ass.

Thomas shook his head "I told you to be quiet...you really don't listen to me, hm?"

Before you could respond or apologize he shoved back with all his strength causing you to scream as a grunt of satisfaction left his mouth. That satisfaction also came from seeing her ass shake from the impact.

He pulled back and pushed forward hard again and another loud groan filled the room. The sounds coming out of your mouth only added to the pleasure building inside him.

His eyes were still fixed on your ass admiring the wonderful sight of her shaking from the impact.

An exultant sigh escaped him as he drew back and was followed by another grunt of satisfaction as he pushed back. The interval between one movement and another was getting shorter and shorter and you could barely recover between them feeling your orgasm building strong.

You moaned against the table, shuddering softly.

He could hear your breathing getting more and more shaky. Tommy's moans also continued to escape him at the thought that her body was at his mercy, all his to to what he wanted.

The knot in your stomach only getting to hard to control. He knew you were close, he knew your body way too well. He ajusted his pace and starde to speed his movements.

You felt your orgasm hitting you and a loud moan left your mouth followed by a sudden spasm throughout your body as your orgasm washed over you.

Lustful screams and low moans escaped your lips, so erotic and lewd and wonderful, briefly filling his office before settling into soft murmurs. Those moans had Thomas climax rapidly approaching.

"This is so good" you breathed.

Thomas tried to reply to you to stay quiet, but his climax was too close and only a grunt came out of his mouth and in response he gave her two more hard slaps on her ass.

He closed his eyes, concentrating and letting his orgasm take over him. He nearly choked on euphoric grunts. In the midst of his orgasm he remembered and quickly withdrew from inside her, ending up coming outside, soiling his rug.

He bent down and rested his head on your lower back. "Fuck…" he growled with his eyes closed as he breathed heavily.

He left several kisses on your lower back and ass, until he recovered from his orgasm and stood up. He fixed your panties and lowered your nightgown.

You stood up and turned to him as he straightened his pants. Both were still panting a little.

You ran a hand gently over Tom's face as he stroked her back with both hands. You smiled and leaned your forehead against his.

"Am I forgiven?" you asked and he nodded softly. He kissed you intensely.

"I didn't take it off in time" he said and you shrugged.

"It's ok" you said smiling and kissed his cheek "I think it's time we start trying for another one" he smiled "Shall we sleep?" you asked and he nodded once more.

[lizyshores]

navigation

↪Welcome to my blog! you can call me Liz, I'm 22 years old, I'm from Argentina, I speak spanish and english. This is mainly a fandom blog.

↪Occasionally reblog +18, NSFW fics or fan art (#nsfw). I try to use tags for everything, don't doubt to tell me if I missed anything important.

↪Fic's recommendations: #liz recommends

(masterlists reblogged are tagged with #reading list)

↪Fan art: #liz fan art

🌿 Henry Wilson (chamomile)

🚬 Thomas Shelby (smoke)

🌷 Grace Burgess (flower card)

↪Moodboards: #lizyshores moodboards

▪ Henry Wilson: Autumn, Summer, Winter and Spring.

▪ Where Alfie Solomons falls for a Queen of the seas (Peaky Blinders)

▪ Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries: Dorothy Williams, Miss Fisher (red).

▪ Where you meet Tatiana Petrovna during the summer of 1927, and slightly lose your mind.

▪ In which Tatiana Petrovna meets a jewel thief in Vienna and they become partners in crime. (Peaky Blinders)

↪Icons/edits: #*icons (marked with a ♡) #*lizedits

Peaky Blinders:

▪ Ada Shelby & May Carleton. ♡

▪ Tatiana Petrovna. Ver. I & Ver. II. ♡

▪ Polly, Linda, Lizzie and Ada. crimson. ♡

▪ Esme, Polly, Lizzie and Ada. turquoise. ♡

▪ Polly Gray. charcoal. ♡

▪ Ada, Linda, May, Esme, Tatiana, Polly and Lizzie. obsidian. ♡

▪ Polly S3EP5 "you should call this painting Fuck them all".

▪ Linda Shelby/Kate Phillips. rhodochrosite ♡

▪ Polly Gray. diamond ♡

▪ Esme Lee Shelby. garnet ♡

↪side blogs:

@moonlizy (art/random)

@misslizy (study/history/books)

[fandom-puff]

Okay so I saw that you write a lot for peaky blinders, I've never seen it but many of my friends said it really good, so can i ask you what do you think of it? Also idk I kinda trust your opinion so I would really appreciate if you told me if it's worth it/what does it talk about! :D 💗💗💗

(Gif creds to owners)

Okay SO I’m gonna try not to give too much away ;)

I absolutely LOVE peaky blinders.

First of all: it’s so visually pleasing??

The music??? 10/10

Who knew I needed to hear arctic monkeys in 1920s Birmingham??

The actors??? 15/10

Cillian is a perfect Tommy Shelby, and he commands such attention and respect when he’s on screen, even though most of the other characters are taller than him he is still hella intimidating.

(With the exception of grace) I LOVE the female characters. Ada is such a badass feminist icon. Polly grey takes no shit from her scary gangster nephews. Esme is not afraid to kick off at tommy.

Alfie Solomons (once you’re introduced to him) is SUCH an interesting character and Tom hardy plays this calculating, eccentric cockney amazingly.

There are of course, some drawbacks. I really dislike Grace Burgess as a character, and Tommy’s interactions with her seem to me to be VERY naive and out of character for him. If you read through some of my fics, you will know just how much I can’t stand her. I’m also not the biggest fan of Michael but I think that’s a pretty unpopular opinion.

Also just a head up, it’s about gangsters so there’s a fair bit of violence. There’s also drug use and quite a few raunchy scenes.

All in all, I’d definitely recommend!!

[imaginethishoe]

A Rose is a Rose

Hello lovely people. Its 1 a.m. and I am at my prime. Here’s a not so short, not so long fic for someone who made my day. Sorry I’ve been a little absent lately. Things have been so hectic with packing up my entire life to start college. I leave in two days and i’m so anxious.

But here’s something to hold you over for a few days; until i’m settled in.

Pairing: Michael x Reader (I truly need more Michael requests)

Warnings: Mentions of Sibling death, fighting, fluff

It was nearly 3 in the morning when there was a pounding on my front door.

I got out of the bed and wrapped a robe around my body, walking down the stairs.

When I swung the door open, the cold air and rain hit me like a ton of bricks as I stood there staring at the man I secretly loved.

"Oh my God..." I said, barely above a whisper.

"Sorry to bother you so late." My eyes scanned his face. The rain had washed most of the blood away, but the cuts on his cheeks and lips were clear as day. "Can I come in?"

I nodded and he slowly stepped in, holding onto his side for dear life.

I helped him out of his dripping jacket, careful of the obvious pain he was feeling.

"Michael... What happened?" He loosened his tie and started to unbutton his shirt.

"Got into it with some blokes down at a bar in the other side of town." I grabbed the collar of his white dress shirt and slid it off his shoulders, admiring how the muscles in his back shifted with the slightest movement.

"What, did you take on six of them by yourself?!" I shouted, wanting to punch him myself.

"Two. You should see them." He went into the pocket of his trousers and pulled a cigarette out of the metal case that Tommy gifted him a few months back. "And you should see the bar." He flicked the lighter, holding it in front of my face before lighting and taking a drag from the cigarette.

I sighed and grabbed his arm, leading him into the kitchen.

"Sit on the table." I ordered him. He obliged. Slowly. Very slowly.

"You going to patch me up?"

"Mm-Hm." I quietly answered, reaching up on top of a cabinet to grab the extensive first aid kit my sister left for me.

I opened the metal case, pulling out a bottle of peroxide, cotton, a few bandages and a roll of cloth.

"Do you know what you're doing?" I looked up at him and he was eyeing me, a small smirk growing on his lips.

"My sister was a nurse during the war." I started while opening the bottle. "I would have been one too had I been a bit older. She never left the field. Said it was her calling. This is going to sting a bit." I warned before placing the drenched cotton ball over the cuts on his face.

He didn't flinch at all. His eyes were just trained on me, waiting for me to continue my story.

"Almost gave my mother a heart attack a few times." I smiled thinking back to the few letters she managed to send us, telling of the action and explosions, how many injuries kept rolling in. "But when we stood on that platform waiting for her..." I placed a bandage over each cut to ensure they would heal correctly. "She never came."

"I'm sorry." I smiled at him, shaking my head lightly.

"No need to apologize. She knew what she signed up for. She saved so many lives. Including one of your cousins. Guess patching up Shelby boys runs in the family."

I picked up the roll of cloth, unraveling it a little.

"From looking at the bruises, I'd say you have a few broken ribs. This won't feel good, Michael." I said quietly. He just nodded as permission to continue. I started to wrap the fabric around him tightly to keep all of his bones in place. He gripped the table, making his knuckles go white. I could have sworn I heard the wood crack a little.

I finished the wrapping off with a knot to keep it from coming undone and kissed his forehead.

"All done. No more bar fights, do you hear me?" He chuckled lightly.

"I can't make any promises love." His hand raised to rest on my cheek. "You know us Shelby boys. We can't stay out of trouble for too long."

And then that's when he kissed me, the taste of metal not strong enough to make me pull away. I let my fingers comb through his hair, lightly gripping. The moment was perfect.

Until it ended.

"I uh... I should go." He stuttered out while hopping off the table and grabbing his clothes. "Thank you."

He was gone just as fast as he came.

It took a few hours for me to go back to sleep after Michael left, consequently making me late for work the next day.

I walked into the betting shop at 9:15, more than an hour after I was supposed to be there. When I walked through the door, all the girls eyes were on me, small smiles on all of their faces.

"What are you all looking at?" I said while on my way to my desk. I stopped in my tracks when I saw a huge bouquet of roses sitting on top of my workplace.

"Looks like someone's got a secret admirer." Esme said from behind me. "Do you know who sent them?"

"I have an idea." I said rounding the table in search of a note. When I didn't find one, I just sighed and took a seat.

The rest of the day went by as usual. The usual blokes come in to place their bets, the ones who usually give us a problem gave us one, and I was the last one here. As usual.

But as I was packing my bag to head home for the night, there was a knock on the betting shop door. I grabbed my bag and the flowers and went to open it on my way out.

There stood Michael in a perfectly pressed three piece suit, a single red rose twirling between his fingers.

"How do you do?" I asked, peeking around the garden in my hands.

"I see you got my package." He smiled brightly and I could have melted at his feet right then.

"I did." After making sure the door was locked, I started down the street back to my home, Michael's heavy footsteps keeping up with mine.

"Well do you like them?" He asked after too long of a silence between us.

"I do, very much. It's just..." I stopped walking. "Why did you send them?"

He stared at me in disbelief.

"Why did I send them? Jeez, I didn't think I was being that subtle over the last five months."

"What are you getting at Michael?" He just chuckled a little before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine, just like the night before.

"I love you..." He whispered, his breath fanning my face. "I always have."

[sceawere]

dorahog: I’ve had a cup of tea, and a mice pie, and I’ve decided that it’s an injustice to kill John off like that, first of all he has six children, I think, to be honest I’ve lost count, but the point is you do not kill off the family man, I don’t care if he’s killed a few people along the way and maybe it’s ‘justice’, no I refute it, but also he finally got his fucking chickens on his farm where we can shoot pheasants and raise his kids in countryside bliss, then some mafioso blokes turn up hidden in hay bails and do him in on his own front porch? Nah give over

Leah, I’ll make you dame if you do because you will deserve it

Tommy ‘money, sex and whiskey sours’ Shelby is something extraordinary, also I’m not a fan of the new hat, please bring back the razor blades

You’re a wizard tommy

you are eating mince pies on the 16th day of november, the year of our lord 2017? first of all, how dare you, it’s november. secondly, i want a mince pie now and it’s your fault, personally

i mean the fact that we have 14 combined seconds of footage, and maybe 2 or 3 random offscreen generic children background noises to even prove this man is a father upsets me (i can only recall two of his kids yelling off screen, some children who we just assume are his when they go to the grace institute opening appear for 5 seconds, and him and esme are holding a baby at the funeral, i must be forgetting more? i must be? he’s near fielding his own football team, how are they being so subtle??)

i have a fic about them buying that house near pollys on the go so start polishing that knighting sword thing they use...sabre? is that what it is?

the whole ep just felt off slightly, which i think it was meant to, what with them being all in different places, looking different, you know? everything was too...clean and posh 😂 i miss the shitty watery lane of season 1 where everything was terrible, i take back everything i said about shitty lighting 😂 ada looks incredible though, they know what they’re doing with that woman wowowow

i’m going to start referring to tommy as ‘he who shall not be named’ bc he deserves it and lindas right, the shelby name is toxic bc of that boys life choices

[lovebitesimagines]

In France Again.

Prompt #3 with John and Esme.

Here is the requested prompt! I’ve written it from Johns’ POV, as I felt it fitted the request more. It’s such a sad little bit of writing, and I’m so sorry to put you guys through this heartbreak! Thank you to anon for requesting this!

Tag list: @biba3434 @onlythechicagoway

If you wanna be tagged in a particular series, or all of my writing, just lemme know! x

Prompt list.

Send me over requests!

Masterlist.

Warnings: Violence, death.

Pairing: John x Esme.

Word count: 1k.

I don’t understand what went wrong. We had it all planned out, my brothers and me. There was no way that Selbini’s men would have seen us coming, it was a perfectly planned ambush. We would have strolled right on into Eden Club as if we had every right to be there. We would take it for our own. But they knew. They were waiting for us. We never stood a chance against them. It was like sending lambs to the slaughter, our ten men against their twenty.

The bullets that whizzed past my ears, transported me back to the battlefield in France. I could have easily mistaken my feet sinking into the blood-soaked floorboards, as the muddy terrain. The groans of dying men are not new to me, I’ve heard this all before. I’m familiar to the blood like mist which blurs my vision, yet I still stumble as if I was a blind man.

The Eden Club is no longer the same, glamorous building it once was. Every table has been overturned, every bottle and glass laying in pieces upon the floor. Blood seems to leak through the crevices in the walls, staining the marble pillars that once stood proudly in the centre of the room. Shoes lay discarded around the room; their owners having left the vicinity in a hurry. Leather and laces mingle with corpses. I struggle to take it all in. My head feels as if it will explode at any moment, a grenade lodged inside my mind.

“Enough!” Tommy roared. He’s stood in the centre of the room, blood smeared across his face. I can’t tell if it belongs to him or not.

The room falls to a standstill at his words, everyone finally taking a deep breath in the aftermath of the adrenaline rush.

“There’s been enough fighting here tonight” Tommy argues, dropping his gun to the floor. “Let’s not let another life go to waste”.

Everybody’s eyes are upon him, their focus fixated upon my older brother. Yet he pays no attention to any of us, his attention firmly placed upon Selbini.

Darby Sabinis’ once freshly pressed grey suit, is now soaked through with fresh scarlet blood. His eyes are dark and maddening and send chills down my spine. I’m not frightened by many people, I usually find that they are frightened by me and my family. It is the opposite with Sabini. He’s ruthless and cold, and I can sense a plot hatching behind his cruel glare.

“My mother once told me, that there are a few people on this Earth, who will constantly try to undermine everything you do” Sabini stated, his accent thick. His voice was quieter than Tommy’, yet it seemed to hold far more power. “She told me, that when the time comes I’ll have to stamp out those people as if they were nothing but ants under my shoe. You Peaky Blinders, are ants”.

           The room shifts, tension beginning to gain new life at Selbinis words. The men around me shift un-easily. We are worn out from the previous conflict, yet adrenaline begins to resurface. Hands fall to grip the handles of guns, eyes firmly fixed upon the men in front of us. Selbinis’ quiet threat does not go unheard.

           “Enough killing has gone on here tonight” Tommy warned, slowly lifting his hands up in defeat. “Leave my men go”.

           “Shut your fucking dirty gypsy mouth!” Selbini yelled, anger continuing to glower behind his eyes. “I’m not going to kill you tonight Shelby. No, I’m not going to do that. I’m going to make those closest to you wish you were dead. One by one, each of them will begin to despise you just as much as I do”.

           Selbini snapped his fingers. His henchmen shifted, responding to his silent demand. I noticed how the colour seemed to drain from Tommys’ face, the only pigment left belonging to the blood that was smeared across his skin.

           Then I saw her.

           I saw her, and suddenly I was a scared young man, frozen on the French battlefield. Her arms were gripped by two thuggish men, their fingers digging into her pale skin, leaving red finger-shaped marks behind. Her clothes were carelessly torn and ripped, blood smeared over the exposed flesh. I could see the tear marks upon her cheeks, yet she still held her head up high, refusing to allow herself to appear broken.

           “Esme...” my voice broke as I called out her name, stepping forward. Arthur put out an arm to stop me, shaking his head slowly.

           “Ahh. I see I may have found a weakness for you Shelby. What better way to start this?” Selbini smirked, pulling the gun out from his jacket pocket.

           I couldn’t move.

           I was in France again.

           I watched as he pointed the gun at Esme’s’ chest.

           I watched as he pulled the trigger.

           I was in France again.

           I didn’t care for the commotion that broke loose in that moment. I didn’t care for the hands that tried and failed to hold me back. All I saw was her. My Esme.

           I ran over to her, tears unashamedly spilling from my eyes. Selbinis’ men had left, taking advantage of the upheaval, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. I knelt beside Esme, holding her in my arms.

           “My love, please stay with me” I whispered, words meant only for us. Her blood was already beginning to stain my palms, saturating her clothing.

           “It hurts” she sputtered, blood catching in her throat. My heart broke at the sight of her. I could feel her growing limper in my arms.

           “I know love, I know. Stay with me. Please stay with me” I begged, tears flowing freely down my face. She reached out to me, placing a palm upon my cheek as if to wipe away my tears. I leaned into her touch, my eyes never leaving hers.

           “I’ll always love you John. I’ll always be with you” she murmured, her skin growing pale. “You take care of the little ‘uns for me. Make sure you tuck them in each night”. I shook my head, refusing to acknowledge her words. This couldn’t be happening.

           “You’re not leaving me Esme. You’re not leaving me”.

           “I love you John”.

           I watched as her eyelids fluttered closed.

           I felt it as her body grew cold and stiff.

           I heard an unhuman scream sound out around the room, bouncing eerily off the walls.

           It was me.

           I was in France again.

[chellestrash]

i have two chapters ready, but still no title!