#Even IZAYA WASN'T LIKE THAT IN THE BEGINNING

[starlightshadowsworld]

Agency informant Izaya

As Bram deactivated his ability, the vampires started turning back to normal. Atsushi looked around frantically, before finding him.

"Izaya!"

His relief was short lived when he saw the informant stumble. Despite his exhaustion, Atsushi transformed his legs and ran to Izaya's side.

Catching him before he could fall.

"Atsushi?"

Izaya looked up at him in suprise, various emotions flickering through his now normal brown eyes.

Before settling on relief.

"Here!" calls Kyouka, pushing over Izaya's wheelchair and Atsushi helped him settle into it. Izaya thanked her and did an experimental spin. "Ah, that's better."

He looked around, surprised to see his new surroundings. "Are we, in an airport?" Atsushi nodded "yeah, things... Changed pretty fast." He frowned "do you not remember anything?"

Izaya hummed, drumming his fingers on his leg in thought. "Bits and pieces, it's like I've woken up from a really werid dream."

He grimaced "...Unfortunately it hasn't rid the taste of blood out of my mouth."

Atsushi winced in sympathy. It was than Izaya noticed he was in a trench coat, one Fukuchi gave him.

Without warning Izaya threw it off, flinging it as far as he could. Izaya wanted no part of that man near him.

Not after what he'd seen.

He was suprised when Kyouka handed him his usual coat. "Sorry, I should've given you it sooner." Izaya sighed happily, putting it back on and feeling more himself.

"No it's not your fault, just... Really hate that thing." Explained Izaya, he hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe I'll just burn it."

Atsushi's eyes widened "erm, maybe we shouldn't." Kyouka shook her head "no no, maybe we should. Who knows, maybe it got infected by the ability."

Izaya grinned.

"Izaya I would appreciate no pyrotechnics for a while." Came Kunikida's voice. Izaya looked over to see him sitting up. Despite his words, there was an amused smile on his face.

Izaya sighed theatrically.

"Fiiine Kunikida, but only because you asked so kindly." Atsushi sighed in relief and Kyouka huffed. Izaya chuckled and Kunikida rolled his eyes fondly.

"Glad to see you back."

"Glad to be back." Agreed Izaya, frowning as he took in Kunikida's condition. "My heart was stopped momentarily, along with Junichiro's. But we're going to be alright." Explains Kunikida.

Izaya blinks in suprise "... Okay I missed a few things" Atsushi snorts despite the tense atmosphere. "You could say that again."

Izaya looked around, seeing the carnage around him. Before looking back at the trio.

"I didn't... Hurt any of you did I?" Asks Izaya, concern colouring his words. He didn't think he did but who's to say. Especially considering he couldn't remember it all.

What he did remember, was chilling.

Gently a hand rested on his shoulder before Atsushi pulled Izaya into a hug, with Kyouka joining him. "No, no you didn't." Izaya sighed with relief, hugging them both back.

"I'm more concerned about you if I'm honest." Says Atsushi truthfully as they all pulled away.

Izaya smiled sadly looking down. His hands were shaking, as they tended to when he was anxious. "I will be, just..." Izaya trails off, not even knowing where to begin.

Bodies. So many, that if you piled them ontop of each other they'd build mountains.

Gut wrenching screams, the cries of the starving, the dying and those who'd lost their minds.

Izaya wasn't a stranger to causing suffering... But that was something else.

It froze him in place, he hadn't been able to look away.

"It's okay" Says Kyouka "you don't have to tell us now." Izaya smiles at her, thankful. He was weary, tired and everything ached.

He should rest but Izaya couldn't. He needed to do something, he needed to be of use and distract himself from the images he'd seen.

Luckily, his friends knew him well. "We're all scattered about though I'm afraid Dazai is still in prison." Says Kunikida, not so subtly looking at an empty jet.

Izaya would usually tease him for letting him break the law so easily. But right now he just felt greatful, if anxious.

His little brother was waiting for him, Izaya needed to see him. And know he was okay."I figured, but don't worry I'll drag his ass back home in one piece."

They all laughed at that, knowing Izaya would do just that.

[izamationbroker]

My current job is pretty laidback about us having phones out and listening to music as we work sorting archaeological artifacts in a lab, so I've started binge-rewatching Durarara!! from the very beginning.

I've already finished the original run yesterday and just started x2 Shou, but some thoughts I had:

At least in the anime adaptation, the original run was meant to be pretty self-contained in the event they weren't able to continue (which to be fair was true for quite a while before x2 got greenlit), so rather than consider the original run a "phase one" of Izaya's grander scheme to start a gang war and awaken Celty's head it makes a bit more sense to think of it in the context of a failed first attempt.

In that context, it makes me wonder how he felt about it, his first grand failure. Grand enough that he felt the need to step back and lay low so he could go back to the drawing board (see: his initial conversation with Shizuo in ep 25).

I honestly bet he picked a fight with Shizuo just to take out his frustrations on it all. He managed to create a messy three-way conflict and get Celty roped into it as Anri and Mikado's friend, but the head gave narry a stir. Not to mention, Celty was able to help them resolve things pretty easily by just getting these dumb kids to actually talk to each other.

I don't remember the episode number because I just binged the whole thing, but Shingen at one point suggests that rather than rope Celty into a conflict, Izaya should try to center the conflict around Celty herself. Izaya claimed he was doing just that, but I don't think he really succeeded in the initial run. Sure, Celty was involved, but more as an independent third (fourth?) party than as a focal point. She was in the Dollars and friends with both Anri and Mikado, but she didn't really have much of a stake in the squabble itself. That was just a big messy of miscommunication between three high schoolers completely unrelated to her. That must have been frustrating, honestly, getting so close but falling just short of what he needed.

Then, on top of everything else, he wasn't even really involved in the resolution of the fight itself, either. He says in his theory that he needs to create a war only HE can win, right? I'd imagine that's why he was fucking around with a bunch of kids rather than the bigger leagues like the Yakuza that he works with regularly: it's a lot easier to insert yourself as an authority as the only adult. He'd be able to take control of that situation so easily, but Celty took that role instead, so he never even got a chance to win the war.

And to blow off steam from his initial failure, what does he do? He deliberately picks a fight with Shizuo, someone he generally tries to avoid when he can help it, by fucking with his brother's safety.

I wonder if he needed to feel alive for a minute by reminding himself of the loom of death. Shizuo's arguably the only one that actually threatens Izaya enough to feel any sense of awe or dread. I wonder if he wanted to put himself in that position to remind himself what was at stake and give him the motivation to go back to the drawing board and try again. He really does have a Shizuo Complex in that sense.

Anyway, I might do Shou, Ten, and Ketsu individually as I finish them, but if anyone would prefer a liveblog instead, lmk. I might stop at Shou for now, tho, because Wa-kun and I are I thiiiink like halfway through Ten? And I don't wanna spoil them with my rambling.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

You might’ve read it already but I’d like to ask for your opinion on The Gift of Hands by onewhodiedyoung on AO3? (If you have read it) It explores the Orihara siblings and Shizuo’s dealing with their grief post-anime, and personally I love their takes on Izaya’s dynamic with his sisters :] But overall I love your takes and paragraphs analysing Izaya! (I don’t know how to ask you about fanfics properly because it’s been my religion for the past few days and reading long analysis from fellow critters on the internet have my legs kicking and I want to share the same sentiment as an entity of media mass-consumption but I’m very sorry if I’ve misspoke or said anything wrong)

mkay so. i went and read this fic bc id never heard of it before and the summary + ur pitch really intrigued me. i thought id read it slowly but i binged the whole thing while on the crapper

and i uh . well, this is embarrassing but. literally from beginning to end i did not stop crying even for a second. i have no real idea why (the melancholy i suppose) and even if i did i dont think id explain it here

anyway. besides that

god, yeah. that's izaya. he's cruel and yet not; he cares so much but refuses to make it known even for a second, like he's ashamed that he loves certain people more than others- like it goes against his nature. he throws things at his sisters because he's a mean big brother, but he was teaching them to dodge so they'd always be safe. he drank poison to be immune to it but (from what i can gather) it wasn't working very well. he doesn't want anyone to know he cares because caring means vulnerability means not being in control, means having a weakness to exploit

and his sisters, yeah. they'd miss him so much. i never seen a fic exploring their grief, and the relationship between them and shizuo.... god. it's so good. the end, where izaya finally stops hiding from what he is, cruel and shitty but soft and human, at the end of it all.

[autisticcassandracain]

Free story idea I'll probably never write but am kind of obsessed with: Scott and Lightray role reversal where Scott grew up on New Genesis and Lightray was traded to Apokolips.

Basic set up: Scott, as a little baby child, was supposed to die when Steppenwolf killed his mother. He survived, narrowly, but Izaya hid that from Apokolips in fear of retaliation. So when the pact happened, Izaya's son, presumed dead, wasn't on the table; instead, (quite literally) the brightest child on New Genesis was traded.

So Scott grows up hidden on New Genesis as the son of Highfather, with his big brother Orion. And the thing is, he loves his home, his father, his brother, but by the time he hits young adulthood he's positively gnawing at the bars. He's going stir crazy from his limited movement; even in New Genesis he has to be careful, because after all these years, he's still hiding from Darkseid, who might change the pact if he hears Izaya's son is still alive, or even flat out kill him, breaking the truce in the process. It's not something anyone is willing to risk, least of all Highfather and Orion.

But Scott is not the type to accept limitations on his freedom, and on top of that, the longer he hides away, the more guilty he feels. He's not stupid, he knows that he should have, by all rights, been the one traded in the pact. But Highfather prioritized his safety and took the out that him being presumed dead offered, and another kid took the fall instead. How is that fair? It's not like Lightray is any less important than him. Scott may have been too young to make informed decisions or understand what was happening when the pact occured, but now, as an adult, he's becoming increasingly dissatisfied with being protected at the cost of other peoples lives.

If only he could help in some way – he's no fighter, but he's crafty and creative. Surely, even if he wouldn't he terribly useful on a battlefield (and has no real desire to enter it to begin with), he could at least do something for the kid that got traded in his place? Help him escape, perhaps? He's already capable of giving even New Genesis the slip, Apokolips can't be that much harder...

Meanwhile, Darkseid was fully planning on pulling the same basic gambit with Lightray as he would have with Scott: torment him until he decides to escape at all costs, breaking the pact. So Lightray was put in Granny's Orphanage, ostensibly a normal student, with Granny reporting back on him to Darkseid. And things would've gone roughly like they went for Scott, if it weren't for one thing: Lightray's intelligence.

Where Scott was, as far as we can tell, a perfectly average student, Lightray quickly proves to be exceptional. His fighting is largely mediocre (relatively peaking, of course), but he still wins a vast majority of sparring matches, even when his opponents far outmatch him in skill, resources, numbers, or all three. He does this by simply outsmarting them, figuring out positively brilliant strategies even under the effects of Granny's mind-altering drugs. Granny reports this back to Darkseid, baffled and annoyed, lamenting about cowardice and rebellion; children in Granny's Orphanage are not supposed to think, after all.

But Darkseid quickly realizes that the pact handed them far more than just a symbolical light, an easy way to end the truce; it handed them a weapon. Child of New Genesis Lightray may be, Darkseid reads Granny's reports of cunning, manipulation, underhanded and even ruthless strategy and sees himself. On New Genesis, Lightray may have been a formidable enemy, but now, Darkseid has the opportunity to mold him into a surprise weapon. A cunning strategist, perhaps even on a similar level as himself, completely loyal to Apokolips, but easily able to win New Genesis' trust if necessary. A perfect potential spy. Lightray still has some of that pesky New Genesis kindness, but nothing a little careful manipulation won't fix. But the brute force of Granny's Orphanage won't bend him into the right shape; a little more subtlety is required here.

So Darkseid takes Lightray from Granny's Orphanage and only lies to him a little bit. He tells Lightray about the pact, about how he was traded for convenience's sake; Darkseid even graceciously admits that he'd originally planned to use Lightray much the same way, but had realized his mistake and decided to give him a chance instead. Darkseid sees how special Lightray is, how much more he could be than just a bargaining chip; Darkseid could make him great, give him power and, more importantly, a place to belong. Lightray could be important, and important things aren't easily traded away, are integral to their home and respected as peers. He could have a place here if he just listens to Darkseid, and why shouldn't he? What has New Genesis, what has Highfather given him? At least Apokolips, Darkseid is giving him a chance, believes he can be more than a bargaining chip. Highfather sees him as nothing but a tool, but Darkseid gets him, believes in him, believes he is more. Between the two of then, who has earned Lightray's loyalty?

So Lightray grows up as Darkseid's adopted son, favored even over Kalibak for his merit, risen above his origins as a bargaining chip, and only feels a little weird about it all. Just a little bit. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there is an instinctive part of him that cringes when a hunger dog rebel begs for mercy while being tortured to death, but that's just his New Genesis weakness, and he's long since overcome it. It's nothing Darkseid holds against him, as long as Lightray fights it. His origins don't define him, and he's grabbed the knife and chosen Darkseid's strength over New Genesis' weakness.

They were planning on having him 'escape' Apokolips and slotting him into New Genesis as a spy, but a golden opportunity drops straight into their lap. A New Genesian manages to sneak straight into Lightray's room, in the heart of Darkseid's home. The only one they know with the skill to pull that of is Himon, but this is clearly someone else.

This is Highfather's son, remarkably alive despite all information to the contrary, and doesn't that just reinforce everything Lightray's ever been taught? Highfather had been unwilling to sacrifice his own son, as Darkseid had done, and had instead cowardly offered up Lightray as a sacrificial lamb. Well, joke's on them, this lamb has grown into a wolf, and is ready to earn his spot in the pack. Highfather's son is called Scott Free (which is really just salt in the wound, isn't it) and is here to break him out, take him back to New Genesis, and it's a little before schedule, but they can't possibly pass up this opportunity.

Scott returns home to New Genesis, having successfully rescued Lightray and feeling pretty good about himself, not understanding why Orion is so spitting mad at the whole thing. He knows this means war, and that's awful, but this truce was never going to last, and they all know it. And now that he's seen the horrors of Apokolips for himself, he can't help but want to do something about it. He may be no fighter, but he thinks he can work with Himon; Himon's methods seem to fit very well with Scott's strengths. He can help, but his father still forbids him to leave New Genesis, and Orion insists that Darkseid is planning something, that it's too dangerous. Scott is inexperienced, naive, and must be protected at all costs, and if they think they can actually successfully keep him in one place they're idiots. It's only a matter of time before he gives them the slip.

Orion knows this damn well, but that's not going to stop him from trying to keep Scott from walking straight into an enemy trap. He doesn't trust Lightray, not even a little bit; he still remembers what Darkseid is like, and he knows, knows that Lightray would never have been allowed to live as his son if he wasn't useful to him in some way. Orion would bet his astro harness Lightray is a spy, but what can they do? Highfather refuses to lock Lightray up without concrete proof that he's a traitor, and they obviously can't send him back to Apokolips. If Scott goes through with joining Himon, he'll be in the middle of enemy territory, with a spy to report back to Darkseid on it. Orion can't allow that to happen, no matter what. But he can't just babysit Scott, even if Scott would've allowed him to do that; with the war starting, Orion is needed on the front lines. He doesn't know how to balance the need to protect his brother with his duties towards New Genesis and the universe at large.

Lightray, meanwhile, is having a bit of a culture shock. New Genesis is, for the most part, exactly what he'd been told to expect: bright, soft, holier-than-thou, all-around fake and weak. But it's still a shock to go from dark Apokolips to bright New Genesis, and to his alarm he can feel the effects already. In the sunlight, he is physically stronger and much more comfortable. He settles in easy, feels content in a way he rarely (never) felt on Apokolips. No matter how much he tries to remind himself that these people betrayed them and he's here to destroy them, he fits on New Genesis in a way he never did on Apokolips, and that scares him, a little bit. Because he knows he'll never have a place here; he'd be a tool at best, and an interloper at worst. Orion's hostility, though a significant hurdle in the plan, is almost welcome; it's familiar, and makes it easier to remind himself that he does not, in fact, belong here.

And then, there is one more complication: Scott Free. Scott Free, Highfather's hidden son, for whose sake he was traded, who is naive and reckless and easy to manipulate, and genuine in a way that completely throws Lightray for a loop. Highfather lies, pretending to trust Lightray despite obviously agreeing with Orion's suspiscions, apologizing for trading Lightray even though he'd surely do it again without hesitation, claiming to respect New Genesis' youth above all despite how obviously untrue that is. It's easy to look at him and see confirmation of everything Darkseid told him about New Genesis.

But Scott tells Lightray he never should've been traded in his place and honestly seems to believe it. He defied orders to come 'rescue' Lightray because he believed it was more important than the continuation of the pact. He's weak, in many ways, but he sees the world how it could be, not the way it is, and has a bright resiliance to him, which Lightray stubbornly refuses to compare to anyone he's met, especially not one Aurelie, the Fury who'd been revealed to be part of Himon's rebels. Scott Free will either die painfully or waste the rest of his life away imprisoned, and Lightray finds himself making just a few too many excuses for why that bothers him.

When Scott Free finally escapes Orion and Highfather's watch to go join Himon, Lightray does not immediately report to Darkseid. He contacts Big Barda instead. It's not treachery, he tells himself. Big Barda is wholly loyal to Darkseid, the leader of the Furies, and will get the job done; besides, he'll report to Darkseid soon enough. He still refuses to think about Aurelie, and how closely Barda stuck to Lightray's side afterwards, drawn to him for reasons they both knew but refused to acknowledge. When he hears back about Barda's defection and her and Scott's escape to Earth, he is obviously very shocked and not even a little bit relieved the plan he didn't have worked.

Then the anti-life equation is discovered on Earth, and suddenly Lightray is told by Darkseid that discovering its location should be his top priority. Orion is sent to look for it as well, to protect it, and Lightray, seeing an opportunity, insists to go along. To his surprise, Orion actually agrees. Orion, for this part, just wants to get Lightray as far away from New Genesis as possible, and is working on a 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer' logic. So off they both go, on the universe's most high-stakes and hostile buddy road trip.

[lightpinkstuff]

Ohhh my god I'm so mad

Spoilers for the ending of durarara + rant

That was so cliche and disappointing. I had felt like there were too many new characters introduced in the second season, and the ending proves that I wasn't wrong. So many things feel unearned and/or unresolved. Some characters didn't change at all, some changed but not as much as they could have, and some changed but the progress they made feels weird.

Varona is probably the best case scenario, she's actually grown from the machine like personality she had in the beginning. I just wish she could have gone further than just having a crush on Shizuo.

Anri is fine ig, she had a lot of scenes that justify her development, but it's so dumb how it all boils down to "yes I like Mikado and that's how I will show my growth as a character".

Mikado and Masaomi are a very weird case. To me it feels like they both changed, but at the same time they didn't change at all? Especially Mikado, who at the beginning of the series seemed meek and clueless, and then we learnt he had created the Dollars and he had moved to Ikebukuro because he was bored of having an ordinary life. So in a way, all the wild shit he does later on is in line with his personality from the very beginning?

I'm so mad about Shinra and Celty, it was infuriating to watch how Shinra couldn't let her go even though he apparently knew exactly what she was thinking, AND that it's played like it's a good thing. Her feelings were completely disregarded. I wish he could have had an arc where he discovers that life can be meaningful without Celty because it was shown that he'd been obsessed with her for a looong time. Anyway, absolutely nothing changed. They're the same they were by the end of season 1.

And the matter with Celty bleeds into other characters as well. For some reason she wasn't allowed to keep her head? The only way she could be with Shinra was by not having her head?? And they gave her head to Shinra's dad's company in order to experiment on it??? And Sheiji is still as obsessed with it as ever, and Mika is still his replacement for it. "I view you as family" BS you haven't changed at all since the first episode of the first season.

And his sister Namie doesn't change at all either, she's still obsessed with him and that doesn't get resolved in the slightest.

Shizuo felt like he should have had a character arc, but it... didn't happen? Was it too subtle for me to notice? Either way, disappointing to see. In season 2 we were given 3 new female characters who needed to learn that they're not monsters (even though Anri was already having the exact same arc since season 1), meanwhile Shizuo was left as an afterthought, despite the fact that he's been called a monster this whole time. I guess it shows how strong willed and confident in himself he is, but it doesn't feel completed?

And speaking of monsters; Izaya. Well... he also didn't change at all. We saw the flashbacks and that one scene with Shinra talking about him to the orange haired girl with the glasses about how he's scared of being vunerable or whatever it was, but he himself did not change at all. I guess he had decided to stop running from Shizuo and seemed to have accepted his death? But the last scene he's in, he's running away again?? And he's still calling Shizuo a monster? What was the point?

Haruna could have been given a small arc about overcoming her feelings for that piece of shit teacher, but nah... It's not like it would have been cool to see her start to hate him for grooming her (because that's what it was) and for taking revenge on him. The last scene with the two of them could have been exactly the same ffs.

And there's still so many more characters that were introduced but were made to feel like plot devices, Aoba, Rocchi and Kasane, being the most important that come to mind. Masaomi's gf, whose name I can't remember, also fits into this category. She existed in the first season so that Masaomi would feel bad and to highlight how much of a POS Izaya is, and since then she's literally done nothing.

Honestly. It feels like there were a lot of interesting characters and relationship dynamics throughout the whole series, and suddenly at the end the show is saying "I'm too tired to properly resolve all of these and also sometimes being totally obsessed with someone is okay actually".

Dishonourable mention: Izaya's sisters did nothing for the plot, did not give us a new perspective into his character, and were bad fanservice (even though there was already plenty of fanservice without them), not only because of the boobs, but for the incest bait too.

[repeatingdreamsxoxo]

Only Fools Fall - Izaya Orihara x Reader

The Gist: You like Shizuo Heiwajima. Izaya can't allow the monster to receive such affection, and thus he hatches a plan. It doesn't go smoothly.

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: little bit of angst, really that's it...

________

You liked him. A lot. So much, in fact, that sometimes you worried your poor little beating heart couldn't keep up. 

He was strong. Stronger than anyone you knew, both inside and out. He took down any opponents that came his way, never showing a glimmer of fear or doubt in himself. 

He was kind. Others thought him scary, intimidating... and you were ashamed to say you were no different. Until you spied him in a back alleyway after school, offering the last mouthfuls of a bottle of milk to a scraggly black kitten with no collar. 

He was always trying his best, especially when he didn't succeed at something. You'd see him lingering behind after class sometimes, stopping the teacher with a notebook and a few questions.

The only problem? You were shy. You didn't even know where to begin, or what to do or say. The only conversation you'd had with him, was at school, when he turned around to ask for an eraser. You'd stuttered through a reply, and nearly jumped five feet when your finger brushed his. 

But today, today you were determined to have a proper conversation with him. It was after school, and he was out in the front courtyard, smoking. A terrible habit, but you didn't mind it. His bleach blonde hair stood out like a beacon among the grass, and the smoke created a trail that led right to him. 

You ran the same scenario you planned out over and over again in your head, till it stuck there like cement. When you finally got up the courage to call out his name, he glanced around, looking confused. 

Shizuo Heiwajima wasn't used to feminine voices calling out his name. 

You trotted over, retrieving your cellphone from your uniform pocket and fiddling with the hem of your skirt. You rubbed the dark blue fabric between your thumb and index finger, the texture sending soft, soothing signals through your nerves. 

"I wasn't here yesterday, and uh, I was wondering if you'd taken the note from Ancient History? If not, don't worry, I'm sure I could get it from someone else." 

Shizuo cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, I've got it. But why ask me? I'm not exactly an outstanding student." He was blunt. But, you kinda liked that kind of transparency. 

Well, see, this is all a stupid lie, since I already got the note from my friend. But I concocted this whole scenario just so I could get a chance to talk to you. Wow. It sounded so much more pathetic that way. You forced a smile that turned out too shy and sheepish, "I forgot to ask someone earlier, and I just caught you on the way out of school. But if it's too much trouble-" 

"No, it's fine. I left my notes at home, though..." 

"Oh! That's okay, do you have your cell phone?" 

The sun burned down on you as you exchanged numbers with Shizuo, who, unlike you, was utterly calm and unfazed throughout the entire situation. With a casual assurance that he'd send you pictures when you got home, he stowed away his pack of cigarettes and headed off. 

You stared down at your phone for a long time. The new contact "Shizuo Heiwajima" shined back, and a shot of pride swelled in your chest. I did it. I actually did it. You jumped when someone tapped your shoulder. 

"Oh? Someone looks pleased with themselves. Honestly, you're pathetic." 

None other the infamous Izaya Orihara slunk around from behind you, eyes sharp and lips tugged into a contemplative frown as he studied you. After what felt like hours, he spoke again, "Hope you don't mind the sudden interrogation, but I've just got to know- what about that monster appeals to you?" 

Now, it was your turn to study him. To try and figure out what is angle was, what exactly is was that he wanted.

Izaya kept on to fill the silence. "I mean, I can't understand what any human would see in a monster. And Shizu-chan's the biggest monster of them all..." Reddish brown eyes tried to pry into your soul, desperate to seek answers. Because, Shizuo wasn't supposed to have girls crushing on him- everyone should be in fear of him, the beast. But here you were, swooning over Shizuo like he was any ordinary high schooler. It had to stop. It wasn't right. No where did this fit into Izaya's vision of Shizuo Heiwajima. 

You fidgeted underneath his gaze, but forced your spine to straighten and your chin to lift. You'd known Izaya Orihara for a long time, been to the same elementary and middle school as him. And you'd watched how he'd changed over the years, but one thing never did. He always kept his distance. Never got too close to anyone. 

So, you sucked in a breath through your teeth and armed yourself with the truth. 

"With all due respect, Orihara-san, I think you're just jealous of Shizuo, because you're too scared to love anyone." 

Izaya froze. Where on earth did a quiet, shy and unassuming girl like you get the audacity to call him out? This little interrogation was supposed to be about Shizu-chan, not himself. And yet here you were, turning the table around to him. He didn't like that. Not one bit. 

The third year's gaze darkened to something cunning and malicious, but instead of scurrying away in fear like you were supposed to, your lips parted and your eyes softened. You had a near maternal shimmer in your eyes, like you were trying to comfort a child. 

"I'm sorry," you spoke, a pastel kind of apology and unwavering genuine quality he couldn't see through- because there was no trick, no hidden motive. "It was the truth, but I shouldn't have said it. I'm sorry." 

In that moment you saw right through him. And, he hated you for it. 

---

Izaya watched you hopelessly chase after Shizuo Heiwajima over the next couple of weeks, and pondered every which way that he could make your life miserable. But then, an idea caught. Perhaps his goal should be the opposite. If he could play you like a fiddle, not only would he take you away from the monster, but, he'd also prove that no one could get the better of him. 

So instead of making your life trash, he'd shower you in the love you so desperately craved, and steal you away from Shizuo all the while. 

---

You fretted over Izaya Orihara the next couple of days, and deeply regretted what you'd said. Not really because it hurt him- many would argue that he deserved to be hurt- but because you'd just made an enemy out of him. Izaya was, well... he was Izaya. That was not a good thing. He was the worst person, even worse than Shizuo, to make an enemy out of, and you'd gone and pissed him right off. 

Third year of high school was gonna be hell. 

That week, you kept your head down, and stayed away from Shizuo temporarily. Because wherever Shizu-chan went, so did Izaya. 

The fledgling info broker caught you on your way to your last class. 

"(Name)!" He piped up, a smile as false as ever plastered on his face as he matched your pace. You quickened your stride and tugged your books closer. 

Again a shocking confidence came with ease. You wish you could keep your mouth shut. "Izaya, what do you want?" 

He smiled. "Just your time. What are you doing tonight?" 

Tonight? What am I doing... oh. I get it. 

"No, Orihara." 

"No to what? That's not a proper answer, you know,"

"I know. But I also know why you're asking, and so the answer's no."

"Oh? And pray tell, why am I asking?" He drawled back, shoulder bumping against yours as the pair of you navigated the busy hallways of Raijin. 

"Because you don't want to lose to Shizuo, that's why. I'm not going to be another one of your pawns, and whether you like it or it or not, I like Shizuo. You're just going to have to live with it, Orihara." 

For a moment, the noir haired boy was at a loss. But like always, Izaya was quick to recover. "Perhaps. But did you ever think that maybe I am interested in you? Just you, nothing to do with Shizu-chan. You know, a girl's never quite talked to me in the nature that you did the other week, and how can you blame me for wanting to know more about such a unique human?" 

"Whatever you say, Orihara. Excuse me, but I'm going to be late to class." You chuckled, like he'd told a funny joke. Then you brushed past him like a ghost before he could catch you. 

---

Izaya's ploys for affection didn't cease. 

The next week, he followed you around during lunch, successfully scaring off all of your friends. Then a couple days later, he invited you for dinner. You declined. Not long after, he wrote you the most beautifully constructed poem you'd ever read. He should've entered it into a contest, or something. 

You pondered, not for the first time, how deeply Izaya must hate Shizuo Heiwajima. Going to such lengths for the sake of taking something from Shizuo... 

Today, you'd artfully evaded him at school, and spent some time after class in the library. It was time to crack open the biology textbook, and start studying. 

Twenty minutes later... and you snapped your pencil in half. 

"Stupid biology... stupid phospholipid bilayer..." 

"Struggling, are we?" 

You jumped at first, then turned to cast a glare over your shoulder. "Oh, it's just you, Orihara. Could you pass on the antics for today? I really have to focus or I'm gonna fail this test." Flipping to the next page in the textbook, you turned back to your notebook and retrieved a new pencil. The library was empty except for the two of you. God knows where that useless librarian of yours had wandered off to now. 

"Fail? Nonsense, not when you have me as your tutor," he took an unwelcome seat in the chair next to you. You made a loose shooing motion with your hand and shook your head. 

"Nope. No way. I'm not letting this happen." You didn't know if you were speaking more to him or yourself.

Izaya smiled, all pearly whites, "don't be childish, biology is my expertise." 

"Everything is your damn expertise," you muttered under your breath. 

He took the snide remark as a compliment and grinned, "ah, learning about the bilayer? Well, it seems complicated at first, but if you look at it this way..." He'd snatched your pencil and started writing in his own neat scripture below yours, putting your penmanship to shame. His voice was constant and calming as he spoke, and you found yourself allowing him to shift a little closer, and you didn't even comment when his knuckle brushed yours. 

All in all, you were shocked to admit that you'd enjoyed spending time with him. 

---

Today you'd done it. Izaya had watched from afar, face lighting with a smile as Shizu-chan rejected you. You'd spent two months working up the nerve, all for Shizuo to say a simple no. But what irked him was that the smile wasn't simply one of hate towards his dear Shizu-chan, but one of relief directed to yourself. 

It didn't make sense. And, he didn't want it to. 

---

Izaya didn't understand why, but even after facing rejection, you continued to pine after Shizuo, like nothing had changed at all. The most obvious obstacle apparently meant nothing to you. 

That afternoon Izaya leaned against the school's hard exterior with a yawn as a mousy third year confessed her love to him. He typically liked to play around with the girls when this happened, and he liked to see how long it took before he could make them cry. Not that he had anything against them, just that it was entertaining to see the limits at which he could push his dear humans. 

But the longer he stared at this girl, the more her features began to tweak and twist into a very familiar person... you. He imagined how he'd react if it were you standing here and giving the confession instead. Instead of the expected disgust and slight humour, he felt a warmth swell somewhere within his icy heart. It threatened to thaw the ice, and that was not okay. 

---

Very abruptly, Izaya stopped with the advances. It had been almost four months of his continued attempts and ploys for your affection, and now that he'd seemingly vanished... well, you kinda missed his company. 

When he wasn't plotting or scheming, he was actually an okay guy to be around. 

Maybe he's finally given up...? 

For some odd reason, that thought made you very sad. 

One day your feet brought you to his favourite rooftop spot before your brain could catch up. Sure enough, there he stood, waving off a group of guys as you approached. 

"I'm afraid I can't entertain you today, I'm a little busy." Izaya replied smoothly. 

"Oh please, you harassed me against my will for months, you can put up with me for a few minutes." 

Smiling bitterly, he raised his hands in mock surrender. So, you went on. 

"You finally throw in the towel, Orihara? Realize that my feelings for Shizuo are so out of your league?" Enunciating your words just enough to bug him, you continued on, a light breeze taking your hair and dancing with it, "I mean, there must be a reason you suddenly dropped out of my life, right?" 

Izaya didn't answer right away, instead he turned to stare past the rooftop fence and out at the city. Horns honked, lights blinked, and buildings buzzed. You took time to look at him. Like, really look at someone. When you actually look at someone, you can find so many unique things. For example, his eyes- were they brown or red? You couldn't tell. How unique. Izaya's complexion was flawless, it was highly suspicious that you'd never once caught a single pimple on his face. His hair was nice too, it looked silky- you had a sudden urge to run your fingers through it. 

Izaya's voice broke your trance. 

"I stand by what I said a few months ago... you're a unique human." 

"That doesn't answer my question," you quipped. 

"You want an answer so badly? Fine, I gave up. Simple as that. Shizu-chan can have you, for all I care. Oh, wait. That's right, he doesn't want you." 

Ouch. Clearly someone was upset. Your eyes narrowed, gaze growing heavy. 

"You know how I said you were too scared to love someone?" He didn't answer, "well what if I told you I could relate to that?" Because I don't want to love a guy like you. But I think I might be-

"-then I'd say that's silly, since you're still pining after Shizu-chan." 

"I wasn't talking about Shizuo." 

The air prickled, charged with electricity. Both parties stood their ground, neither of you refusing to give in to the other. Finally, you spoke back up. 

"You're a really crappy guy, you know that? Every time I turn around you're plotting something, always busy ruining someone's day. Don't you ever get tired of it?"

When he spoke, his voice was light as a feather. "Tired of what?" 

"Of holding back, of limiting yourself to observing humanity but not allowing yourself to be among them were you belong. Isn't it exhausting?"

He didn't answer with words. Instead, he decided to take your advice against all of his better judgement, and let go once, if only for a few fleeting seconds. The kiss was slow, your lips soft. He didn't want to pull back, because he knew this would be the last time he got to experience this- this feeling, without holding himself back. 

With the desperate nature of the kiss, he guessed you knew that just as well as he did, that this would be the exception to his golden rule. A brief, fleeting window that was about to pass. 

As brief as it was, you let yourself love Izaya Orihara with all you had. 

[icestar-74]

Proposal

Request from @glaciesdraco from her anonymous box! Hope you like it!

"Hehe, Shizu-chan is upstairs. He won't expect this at all. The ring is so deep in the cake it'll take him a bit to find it too." Izaya said before licking his finger. "Alright, time to get the beast."

"Hmmmmm, I thought I told that idiot to wait up here." Izaya said irritability. "Where the heck is he?"

"Hey flea, sorry I needed a smoke." Shizuo said as he entered the kitchen. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something. It's been on my mind a while." Shizuo looked around confused. "Where did he go? Bastard tells to me to wait and he ain't even here. Did he ditch me? Huh, what's this?"

Shizuo walked close to find a slice of cake and a cold glass of milk. "Hell yeah. Cake. Stupid bastard trying to surprise me and then leave? Fuck it." Shizuo pulled up a chair.

Izaya came walking downstairs. "Shizu-chan there you-" he stopped immediately after seeing the cake. "Did you. Eat. That whole slice?" He asked Shizuo.

Shizuo looked away. "Nah. Wasn't me."

"Shizu-chan... it's all over your face..." Izaya felt his blood begin to boil.

"The fuck was I supposed to do? You weren't here and the cake was." Shizuo argued.

"I WAS COMING TO GET YOU, YOU PROTOZAN!" Izaya screeched as he leapt for Shizuo.

*Crashing, screaming and breaking noises.*

Shizuo breathed heavy. "You. Fucker. It was just cake!"

Izaya lay panting on the floor. "Just cake? There was. A ten grand ring in there. I was going to propose to you moron."

Shizuo dropped the chair he was about to smash Izaya with.

"You were going to propose to me Izaya?" Shizuo asked in shock.

Izaya sat up. "GOING to."

Shizuo sighed and readjusted himself in the floor.

"Izaya...I was going to ask you." Shizuo said softly on one knee.

Izaya starred in shock before letting out a cackle. "This is just ridiculous!"

Shizuo waited until he stopped laughing. "That a yes?"

Izaya looked up quick. "Of course it is idiot!" He then took another leap at Shizuo.

"I fucking love you louse." Shizuo grinned against Izaya's mouth.

Izaya pulled away with a smirk. "I love you too beast. Can't wait for you to shit that out later."

Shizuo looked at him "Fuck."