#FOUR YEARS LATER this thing actually gets updated

[beasblogsposts]

Restless Routine (NxR)

a/n: hiii! This is my second fic on here so pls be kind 🫣 I posted a poll yesterday asking if anyone would be interested in seeing a fluffy Natasha x reader showing how the couple deal with Nat’s nightmares. It was 98% for it so here u go!! I hope u enjoy, any comments / feedback always appreciated.

Much love - Bea 🐝

Natasha and y/n had been dating for three years, living together for around a year and a half. Had they moved a little quickly? Perhaps. But in the words Tony uses to consistently tease the black widow ‘when you know, you know.’

The two women met at a Stark gala four years ago (yes it took a whole year for Natasha to admit her feelings, she gets embarrassed every time someone mentions it now.) Despite it taking a short while to make it official, the connection between the women was instantaneous. Y/n’s job as a journalist meant she was working the event, occasionally managing to grab each Avenger for a casual interview and update on how their team was doing. The one she was most nervous for though, was the assassin herself…So when the end of the night was nearing, Natasha approached her instead, and the two ended up talking on a couch until 4am…Y/n didn’t even write any of it down, too mesmerised by the green eyes and the way Natasha’s lips moved as she spoke.

Even though the team were saddened to lose their quietest roommate from the compound, they knew they couldn’t stop Y/n and Nat moving in together for much longer. The pair already spent almost every night together, sometimes catching Y/n strolling through the entrance in the middle of the night (which most of the team assumed was midnight booty calls.)

What most of the team (barring Clint and Wanda) wasn’t privy to, is that since they started dating, the only thing that could soothe Natasha’s constant and overwhelming nightmares, was having Y/n beside her.

After three years of being in the happiest and stable relationship she had ever known, Natasha’s nightmares were few and far between, only occurring because of a trigger or a particularly rough mission. However, after an entire childhood in the Red Room and most of her adulthood spent seeing inhumane things, they torturous memories and nightmares of losing her loved ones still had her waking in a cold sweat and breathless.

Most of the time, the pair (meaning y/n) pretty much had the aftermath of these nightmares down to a science. She had a routing to follow that was very effective at soothing her girlfriend and bringing her back to reality as quick as possible.

9 times out of 10, their routine worked, and within 15 minutes the redhead would be once again sleeping soundly, wrapped in her girlfriends arms.

Tonight, however, was not one of those times. Natasha had been on a paired mission with Bruce, that ended in him losing control and almost throwing her off a cliff, only thanks to a new gadget tony had given her the day before was Natasha was able to prevent him from doing any physical damage. Alas, being chased and hunted by someone who is supposed to love you brought back memories for her that she did not want to relive ever again, ones that she had worked tirelessly to process and move on from.

To add insult to injury, the return from the mission was delayed, meaning the day she returned was 24 hours after she was supposed to. Y/n knew the 24th is the day Natasha is due back from her mission, so she managed to push her work trip to the 25th, ensuring she had a night with Natasha to help her recover from the mission before she had to leave. This meant that upon Natasha’s return, y/n was not there to soothe her racing mind, and she was left alone to simmer in her nightmares.

It hadn’t actually been that bad Natasha had reasoned herself as she thought back over the weekend spent without y/n as she waited for the front door to open. But god was she happy to hear the keys in the door.

Later on in the evening, after many hours of reunion kisses, legs tangling and a hot steamy shower, the couple were now sleeping soundly wrapped together in their bed. Both had fallen asleep quickly and were now enjoying some well needed rest.

That was until y/n felt the tell-tale sign of something fidgeting against her chest, she stirred and opened her eyes slightly, lifting her head to analyse how bad the nightmare was.

Natasha was twitching, clutching the sheets against her chest and mumbling incoherent things in her sleep sooo we’re at about a 6/10 Y/n thought, timidly lifting a hand to run along her arm

‘Natasha, baby…wake up’

She whispered softly, trying to rouse her girlfriend from her cursed slumber. This usually did the trick; Natasha would relax in her arms and turn back into her embrace at the sound of her voice.

This night though, the touch caused Natasha’s fists to clench tighter, and the soft words y/n spoke must have morphed into something else in Natasha’s scrambled brain, as she flinched and called out

‘NO…n-no get off her… please’

She all but yelled into the darkness of her bedroom.

Okay now we’re at a 9/10. Y/n thought as she sat up fully, placing her hands more firmly on Natasha’s shoulders and squeezing them just enough to hope that the touch would reach Natasha’s subconscious

‘Natty, baby I really need you to wake up for me… come on honey come back to me’

y/n says a little louder this time, breathing a heavy sigh of relief as Natasha’s eyes flew open and she gasped for breath.

The redhead sprung upright, lurching forward grabbing y/ns shirt and pulling her closer, gasping breathlessly

‘a-are you real? God please tell me this is real’

Natasha rushed out, tears running down her cheeks as she palmed at your shirt, trying to get her hands on any bare skin, just to make sure she could feel you.

‘I’m here my love, it wasn’t real, you’re safe now…I’ve got you my love’

Natasha nodded, burying her face into her chest, taking shuddering breaths and clasping her hands around y/n’s neck. These words alone were usually enough to bring her down, but her breath was still ragged and her eyes were darting around the room.

Without words, y/n knew what needed to be done, knew what Natasha needed from her right now. She carefully unhooked Nat’s arms from around her neck, and with steady movements so she didn’t startle her, stood from the bed, keeping one hand placed on Natasha’s arm.

She stood and flicked on the lamp, illuminating the room so Natasha could see all of her surroundings. Y/n held out her hand, and Natasha took it and stood up wordlessly.

The pair exited the bedroom and walked down the hallway of their city apartment; their first stop was the front door. Y/n still holding the hand of a timid Natasha trailing behind her, aggressively pulled and wiggled the door handle, demonstrating that it had remained safely locked since they had gone to bed earlier that night.

From there, the due moved to the sash windows in their lounge, where Natasha observed her girlfriend tracing her finger along the edges of the glass, ensuring there is no broken glass or gaps in the hinges, just to prove they are still firmly closed.

After this was the kitchen, the study, behind the shower door and into the back of the deep closet. y/n felt the grip on her hand tighten as it did every time they checked the closet, something about that particular confined spot bothering her more than any other part of their New York home.

After half an hour of checking and then rechecking any possible entry point or hiding place in their apartment, y/n and Natasha returned to the comfort of their bedroom, where y/n sat Natasha on the counter in their en-suite, running a warm damp cloth along her wrists and just below her jaw. Tracing her pulse points to relax her nerves and remove any traces of sweat on her skin.

In the few minutes of sitting on the edge of the bathroom sink, with her girlfriend stood between her thighs, trailing her soft hands along her skin, the redhead was now lulling against her, her head resting on her chest and her breathing now even and calm.

Holding a half-asleep spy in her arms, y/n laid down in the bed, cradling her 5’4 assassin. When she tried to reach out and dim the lamp, the spy grabbed her wrist and squeezed gently, sending her a silent sign.

At this, y/n chuckled, leaning back against the pillows

‘I didn’t forget, I was just getting comfy first.’

She spoke, before lowering her voice to a calm whisper to recall the rehearsed mantra Natasha needed at the end of their routine

‘You are safe…you are loved…I am here’

‘No red room…no danger…no fear’

y/n spoke, punctuating each word with a soft stroke along Natasha’s arm, the duvet now secured around them.

After just over a minute of repeating the mantra, y/n felt the grip on her body loosen slightly, and the weight on top of her completely still, the only movements being the rise and fall of Natasha’s torso as she released small breaths into the crook of y/n’s neck.

Every night, y/n would do this every night for Natasha, the woman who would soon be her wife. She made a mental note to grab the ring box from the top of her closet tomorrow morning.

[alastheswarmleaderhasescaped]

BIONICLE music fans, I need your help

Remember that I once wrote a funky BIONICLE Suite using themes from multiple movies/games etc., for an assignment? If not, it's here:

(here is the post on my dedicated music blog @transcriptions-of-unknown-music btw)

This suite is very dear to me: I scored top marks in my Arranging class with it, and later won a conducting audition with it. And now, in about a year or so, I will be getting the chance to perform it with a professional symphony orchestra. Like a full orchestra instead of the weird ensemble it was originally written for.

BUT

I need to reinstrumentate it, of course, but that also means that I can update it. The original assignment had a time limit of four minutes; this time I don't have that restriction, so I can basically do whatever the fuck I want.

And this is where I need the fandom's help.

I have a pretty solid base idea of what to do with it, but I want to put in as many nods to the width of BIONICLE as possible. The original suite was based on the music of the first three movies with motifs from mostly the MNOGs thrown in, because those are what mostly marked my personal BIONICLE experience, but BIONICLE is more than that. It's also the GBA games, the console games, the songs, the commercials, the online episodes, the later flash games, the Piraka rap, the singing squid, and so on. Which brings me to what I need you all for:

Please let me know your favourite BIONICLE music!

It could be literally anything; from an entire game soundtrack to just the drum rhythm during one specific section of a game. I'd love to know what BIONICLE music you love or is important to you!

What will I do with this information?

Currently I'm already working on gathering motifs and soundtracks into one musical book, transcribing them into notes and bringing them down to their core elements. This will serve as my vocabulary, of sorts: if I have a collection of themes at my disposal, it will be much easier to see if and how they fit together.

Here is an example of a piece from the Templar episodes that I 'collected': (it sounds off because it's MIDI, but what I did here was write down the actual notes so I can transcribe it for other musicians)

Please don't hesitate to let me know your favourite BIONICLE music (and also feel free to tell why a certain piece is important to you)! There is no time limit to this; you may always reblog or reply to this post, and my ask box is also open!

Hope you all can help me make this a real community thing, showing our Unity!

[wolfie-1221]

some rhaenicent fic recommendations

grey ridge (ríl liatroma) by molter ( @molter-writes ) - married with kids; business drama; they’re sickeningly cute; arguably the best thing ive read in the fandom; 10 out of 10; read it like 6 times; if you haven’t read it dude what are you waiting for

ride the dragon (and do it quickly) by molter - the #roadtrip fix it 

love is complicated by molter - Alicent is an actress and Rhaenyra is her rich best friend; they idiots and they’re in love; Laena is featured and she is fed up

leaf and blade by molter  - it’s summer; they’re hiding their relationship; they’re teachers; and my all time favorite tag ‘harwin gets a whistle’ 

cleopatra by dontaskmedude   - divergence from episode 4; Joffery does not die; Laenor and Rhaenyra do everything right; Alicent and Rhaenyra raise their kids together 

someone to watch me die by dontaskmedude  - this is just, this is just depressing; good but depressing; like if hurt/no comfort is your thing this is for you; it’s just so, so sad; Alicent in chains/Rhaenyra half year queen era but no happy ending; do not read this if you want them to be happy 

Untouchable by mylordshesacactus - young rhaenicent; if Aemma never died and if Alicent never married viserys; i love this story so much you dont get it

Blame it on Fate by Lumyart ( @lumyart ) - they’re rival co hosts; well, actually, they’re rival co hosts in Alicent’s mind; Rhaenyra is thoroughly enamored (as per usual) 

you don't know what love is (if you don't put up a fight) by tansymeadows - viserys manages to last a couple extra days and Rhaenyra returns after Alicent blinked her pretty brown eyes and said “you’ve only just arrived”

The Silver Queen and the Lady in Green by WanderingFan - idk how to explain this; honestly just read it; it’s really good; slow burn; like incredibly slow burn im on chapter 26 rn and they’ve only just become friends a couple chapters ago but god is it worth it 

is it too soon to do this yet ('cause I know it's delicate) by Arvedui - episode 1 divergence; it’s cute; they’re cute 

would it be enough (if i could never give you peace?) by Arvedui  - Jeyne Arryn my beloved; you and Laena would get along splendidly when it comes to these two nitwits ( i say with affection) 

Midnights Like This by pure_black_wings - based on Taylor’s album; college setting; slow burn

Duty and Sacrifice (A History of Rhaenyra the Blessed by Archmaester Gyldayn) by TheIronDragon10    (@theirondragonrants) - now when i say i love this story i mean i LOVE this story; if you ever wanted to know what the House of the Dragon looked like thoroughly united then LOOK NO FURTHER; top tier; it’s wonderful; it has angst, it has joy, it has family and sibling vibes, it has slow burn, it has pain and healing and love everything i could ever want from a realistic version of canon where my girls can be happy; emphasis on realistic because the irondragon does not pull any punches 

Cleaving to Rhaenyra by WanderingFan - another episode 4 divergence 

you’ve got your demons (darlin’ they all look like me) by geralehane    ( @geralehane ) - the reincarnation au 

lying (in the hollows of your heart) by wakesiren ( @wakesirens)  - read this for the last scene of chapter 3 and thank me later; update: READ THIS FOR CHAPTER FOUR AND THANK ME LATER

towers and dragons verse by beepboop (permanganato) - Alicent is one adorable nerd okay and Rhaenyra just loves her 

what is it good for? by bluebaric ( @viscountcrow ) - arranged marriage au; Rhaenyra is a war hero; Alicent is perpetually terrified for her life  

tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart by alphayamergo   ( @sydneysageivashkov ) - this was just, this was just hilarious; like picture Corlys and Otto snarling at each other from across the council room trying to convince Rhaenyra to marry either Alicent or Laena and that’s what this is

thine is the queendom by liadrell ( @lesbianalicent ) - this was an excellent read, really good character dive on alicent

Ember to Flame by CrowSaint (@ dayneonychus ) - intriguing concepts 

our shadow over the sea by queensmooting - sigh

Long Live Our Queens! by WanderingFan - they’re gonna kill their fathers and they’re gonna rule together and it’s gonna be great

blood in your mouth (I wish it was mine) by dontaskmedude - this made me shed some tears

Of Our Own Accord by 99bad_habits ( @99bad-habits ) - can’t wait to see how this turns out; canon divergence at 1x08; Viserys lives long enough and Rhaenyra returns on dragonback and our girls get to co-rule

and i'll still see it, until i die by irridescence - h e a r t b r e a k i n g; starts around the winter fever and goes backward from there

by choice by alicents - co-parenting rhaenicent my beloveds <3; family fluff told in segments in a non-linearly fashion; it's cute; they're cute; something to read while canon is breaking your heart

there’s more i just got tired so feel free to add your own; there are also other stories by these authors (Wandering and wakesiren to name a few) which I have not put here that are also enjoyable so you can check them out 

[gyu-effect]

an ode

“The best friend is the only true love that will never ditch you”

a series on playing a dangerous game; falling in love with your best friend

CURRENTLY WRITING : we got married [seungcheol x reader]

COMPLETED (1/13) :- i’ll marry you with paper rings [mingyu x reader]

message or send me an ask to be in the taglist!

A/N || I'm so excited to write this series!!! I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I will. If you guys have any member you want me to write for first, do let me know!  This series updates will be very very slow as I want each fic to be stretched over many years for the slow burn to actually happen!

↬ Seungcheol in ❝ We Got Married ❞

“IF HE'S DOING THAT FOR A SHOW, THEN WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE HE ACTUALLY LOVES HER?”

╼ PAIRING || Seungcheol x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Idol!S.coups, Idol!Reader, Based on We Got Married, Best Friends To Lovers AU, Fluff, Angst, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  You considered your friendship with Choi Seungcheol as one made by the gods themselves; after all, it was no easy feat being best friends for so many years or even debuting from the same company. Things should have remained platonic between the two of you and yet, somewhere down the line you had fallen for him. Despite the fact it was hard meeting up with each other due to your both's conflicting, busy schedules, your love for him never went away, only growing with each passing day. But with Seungcheol getting selected for We Got Married, would you be able to give up your feelings for him?

Or, in which, you desperately hoped that the affection your best friend showered towards his girlfriend was just for the show.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Jeonghan in ❝ Everything, Everything ❞

“SOMEONE COULD BE MY EVERYTHING AND AT THE SAME TIME, I MIGHT BE NOTHING TO THEM”

╼ PAIRING || Jeonghan x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Idol!Jeonghan, Best Friends To Lovers AU, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  The sole reason Jeonghan had become an idol was because you had once told him how much you loved kpop idols. Agreed, the two of you were just kids back then but to him, every single thing about you was important. So it wasn't really surprising when a few years later he debuted in a kpop group. But now with his busy schedule, it felt like your friendship was hanging on a thin thread, barely having time to be there for each other like you two used to. Was it really worth losing you in this way in what he had hoped would make you realize how much he loved you?

Or, in which, you were Yoon Jeonghan's everything.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Joshua in ❝ Vivaldi's Four Seasons ❞

“SPRING, SUMMER, AUTUMN AND WINTER”

╼ PAIRING || Joshua x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Violinist!Joshua, Violinist!Reader, Musician AU, Fluff, Best Friends To Lovers AU, Slow Burn, Angst, TBA

╼ SUMMARY || Spring to winter, you had spent every single season with your best friend Joshua. The two of you had met at the violin academy during your summer break and after that, there was no turning back. You both bonded over your love for music but there was also another thing that made you stay with Joshua: your growing feelings for him. It felt wrong falling for him, but somehow at the same time it felt right. Would you be able to stop the love from playing with the strings in your heart before it snapped? 

Or, in which, it took you four seasons to realize Hong Joshua was your Spring Sonata.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Junhui in ❝ Light A Flame ❞

“A FLAME ON YOUR HEART”

╼ PAIRING || Junhui x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, College AU, Angst, Fluff, Slow Burn, TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  Wen Junhui never really cared whom you dated or had a fling with; he just made sure to caution you against some men who might have felt off for him. Because after all, it really shouldn't matter who you ended up with as long as you were happy, right? It should not have mattered at all, even if he was in love with you, his best friend of so many years, right? And yet, he could n't get rid of painful throb in his heart of him every time you went out on a date, knowing he would n't be able to set your heart on fire the way you had done to his of him.

Or, in which, you set a fire on Wen Junhui's heart, not knowing it could never be doused off.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Soonyoung in ❝ Blurred Lines ❞

“IT'S SUCH A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP, RIGHT?”

╼ PAIRING || Soonyoung x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, College AU, Angst, Fluff, Slow Burn, TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  You had been best friends with Kwon Soonyoung for as long as you could remember. The two of you were always together, no matter what even in college. It wasn't really surprising that people thought the two of you were together; you would just brush away the rumors joking about how funny it was that people presumed such things about your completely platonic relationship. But when Soonyoung was dared to kiss a girl at a certain frat party, you realized that maybe, your feelings for him weren't that platonic anymore.

Or, in which, you suddenly realize there is a very thin line between love and friendship

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Wonwoo in ❝ Code Love ❞

“THERE'S A COLOR CODE FOR EVERY EMERGENCY, AND YET, NONE FOR FALLING FOR YOU”

╼ PAIRING || Wonwoo x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Emergency Worker AU, Medical Student AU, Paramedic!Wonwoo, Best Friends To Lovers AU, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn, TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  Training to be a paramedic was hard for Wonwoo, especially with his family barely supporting him. But being with you made everything so much easier; it was like you could pull him out of any pit any time no matter what. So he really wasn't that surprised when he fell in love with you, despite you being his best friend. He knew falling for you was a dangerous thing, and yet it was a pit he didn't want to get out of and hoped you would never know how deep he had fallen in.

Or, in which, Jeon Wonwoo wished there was an emergency code that warned him not to fall for his best friend.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Jihoon in ❝ Ruby ❞

“SHIT, THIS IS RED TOO”

╼ PAIRING || Jihoon x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, College AU, Angst, Fluff, Slow Burn, TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  Jihoon really regretted the time he told you his favorite color was red. Because after that you started dressing up in red as a joke. Or in your words, to make him 'fall for you'. To which he joked back that every time he saw you in red, he started liking the color less and less. Until one day, he saw you go out for a date in a red dress and realized just how gorgeous you looked in red.

Or, in which, Lee Jihoon began hating the color red in an attempt to stop loving you.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Seokmin in ❝ Daffodils ❞

“I WANDERED LONELY AS A CLOUD”

╼ PAIRING || Seokmin x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Support Group AU, Angst, Best Friends To Lovers AU, Slow Burn, Fluff, TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  Things had been really hard for you ever since the accident; it was like a part of you had died that night. So when your mother asked you to join a support group, you only agreed to it so that she would stop pestering you. You hadn't really expected it to help you even a bit; but it did, especially after you befriended Lee Seokmin. Never had you expected to find solace in someone so similar to you, and yet so different. And maybe your mother was right, Seokmin was your daffodil. 

Or, in which, you and Seokmin wandered around until you met each other.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Mingyu in ❝ I'll Marry You With Paper Rings ❞

“AND I'LL MARRY YOU EVEN WITH PAPER RINGS”

╼ PAIRING || Mingyu x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, Fluff, Angst, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, Slow Burn, Love Triangle (not exactly), Marriage Pact AU, Humour

╼ SUMMARY ||  When the two of you were little, you and Mingyu had made a marriage pact, agreeing to marry each other if both of you remained single till thirty. Of course, it was just a joke between the two of you and you both went about in your own ways, the silly promise pretty much forgotten. You soon had a huge list of ex-boyfriends and it became a routine for Mingyu to be your human tissue after each breakup. It was a tiresome job, taking care of you, but if the said best friend in love with you didn't do it, who would she?

Or, in which, even twenty years later, Kim Mingyu finds himself running to your every beck and call, despite telling himself he won't fall for you anymore.

╼ WARNINGS || minors dni, swearing lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, wonwoo is an ass (sometimes), mingyu’s friend circle bullies him because what even is new, reader has a obsessive ex, down bad gyu (and yes this is a warning), switch!mingyu, switch!reader, soft sex its more of making love so there aren’t really any dynamics, unprotected sex (do not do this), pet names for both (love, baby, angel, princess, sir), riding, sofa sex

╼ WORD COUNT || 28.3k

↬ Minghao in ❝ Avant Garde ❞

“FOR ME, YOU WERE AN ART THAT COULD HAVE ONLY BEEN MADE BY THE GODS ABOVE”

╼ PAIRING || Minghao x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, Art Student!Minghao, Art Student!Reader, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, Art AU, Slow Burn, Fluff, Angst,TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  Every summer, you and Minghao spent an absurdly huge amount of time in the art studio, drawing and just having fun with each other. It was really a blessing according to you that both of you loved art this much, it also made getting into the same college much easier. The two of you were nothing more than just two best friends who loved art; until one art assignment where you had to paint a portrait of each other and you realized just how beautiful your best friend was. And that maybe, you were in love with him.

Or, in which, it took you just a drawing to realize that you loved Xu Minghao.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Seungkwan in ❝ Paper Planes ❞

“EVERYTIME YOU SENT ME A PAPER PLANE, IT LANDED IN MY HEART”

╼ PAIRING || Seungkwan x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Slow Burn, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, Best Friends To Lovers AU, Fluff, Angst, TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  The new boy in your school looked like he was really feeling out of place, like he wanted to have fun with everyone else but he wasn't sure how to approach them. So you took it in your hand to help him adjust; after all it wasn't coming from a whole different city. But it looked like he didn't want your help either. So you decided to send him paper planes everyday until he warmed up to you. But what you didn't know was that Boo Seungkwan had saved each and every of the paper plane you had sent him; despite it being nearly twenty years since the two of you had become best friends.

Or, in which, Boo Seungkwan wished you hadn't sent those paper planes all the way into his heart.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Vernon in ❝ Ocean ❞

“ YOU COULD PUT AN OCEAN BETWEEN OUR LOVE”

╼ PAIRING || Vernon x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Fluff, Angst, Best Friends To Lovers AU, Angst, College AU, Coming Of Age AU, Slow Burn, TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  Best friends were supposed to stay together forever right? Except that you were moving away after this summer because of your college. Even though promises were exchanged, something told Vernon that it was going to be hard to keep this relationship alive over such a long distance. And he would have accepted this harsh truth as reality if it was not for the fact that he loved you, but he could not confess out of the fear of ruining these precious few last moments with you. Yet he tried his best to hold onto the figments of friendship the two of you had after you moved away. Would he be able to climb up the wall that was slowly building up between the two of you?

Or, in which, Choi Vernon would swim even a thousand oceans if it just meant to catch a glimpse of you.

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

↬ Chan in ❝ I See The Light ❞

“AND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT”

╼ PAIRING || Chan x Female Reader

╼ GENRES || Best Friends To Lovers AU, Slow Burn, Childhood Friends To Lovers AU, Angst, College AU, Coming Of Age AU,TBA

╼ SUMMARY ||  You never thought that you would end up being best friends with the boy who had run off from the park due to some fireworks in the sky. But here you were, once again coaxing him to come out and enjoy one last fireworks night before the two of you moved away for college. And Chan finally agreed, and while you were prepared for him to clutch you like his personal teddy bear, you definitely weren't prepared for the sudden stuttering in your heart when you realized just how beautiful he looked under the million colors erupting in the night sky. 

Or, in which, you realized Lee Chan had always been your guiding light in the foggy skies. 

╼ WARNINGS || TBA

╼ WORD COUNT || TBA

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting mad at a friend over Harry Potter?

🏳‍⚧🎊 <- for recognizing this later

I (15X) have this IRL friend who we'll call A (14X). A and I are both under the trans/nonbinary umbrella, which I feel will be important. A also suspects that they have autism, which I won't deny, I feel like they do as well.

A is one of my best friends, and I've known them since we were 8 years old. We generally know what types of media would be considered dogwhistles towards marginalized groups - or so I thought, which is why it surprised me when A said they were getting into a mild HP hyperfixation.

A tends to hop around from fixation to fixation, and currently has been into Percy Jackson for the past month, constantly sending screenshots of their favorite moments in different fanfics to a group chat, including me and another friend, J (14X). I'd been fine with that, as A usually did this with any fixation and I thought it was fine.

One thing I did know is that PJO and HP crossovers are really popular (or at least, they were - not so sure about now), but I didn't think that A would associate with anything relating to HP. But then one day, I saw that A was talking with J about sorting their favorite PJO characters into different Hogwarts houses. If you haven't read HP, the school is called Hogwarts, and there are four houses within the school that you can get sorted into based on personality traits.

This surprised me, a lot. I thought that we all knew HP wasn't the greatest series (romanticization of slavery, anyone?), and that the author herself was a complete piece of shit. But when I voiced this, A basically said that they were rewriting the series to be "gayer" and more trans-accepting.

This troubled me. For one thing, as we were all trans, I thought they would know not to associate with HP in any way, shape, or form. I replied with, "You know JKR thinks people who support her books are transphobic, but are just too afraid to say it, right?" (Yes, I'm fairly sure she did actually say this. I wasn't lying.)

A responded with, "Who cares what JKR thinks? She's a bigot. Separate the art from the artist."

I couldn't do that, personally. HP felt too tainted by JKR's actions and words, and it felt wrong to come up with an excuse to engage with the series. I told A as such, and they replied with, "okay" and haven't responded to me or to the group chat since. J has spoken in the group chat, but hasn't said anything about our debate over HP.

Immediately, I was worried I had upset A too much. I thought they would understand, but I felt like I had accidentally crossed a line with them. I sent them a private message telling them I apologized for upsetting them, but I'm not sorry for what I said about HP. And I can't go to apologize to A in person, because I live an hour away from A and J. J hasn't updated me on A's position at all, and I haven't asked.

So I'm not sure. HP sucks, and I thought A would realize that as a trans person as well, but it also felt like I had personally insulted them by insulting their side fixation.

AITA? TL;DR My friend, A, got a side fixation into Harry Potter. This troubled me, as we are all trans, so I told them off for it, and now they won't talk to me.

What are these acronyms?

[thedemonknownasbilly]

Howdy! I've got another poly AziraCrow x reader request for you, if you're interested

Ineffable husbands with a non-binary s/o who constantly gets misgendered and deadnamed during the holiday season since they're around family n stuff?

Ik its not malicious and it's out of habit but man, it's not great for dysphoria. Trying to disconnect myself from that so I don't hold it against anyone but. Idk. Sorry for rambling lol.

Sending love 💚

Their Name - Ineffable Husbands x GN!Reader

Boy, oh, boy this hit close to home. So basing a lot of the house descriptions/holiday traditions on my family.

Ineffable Husbands snapping at Reader’s family

He/Him for Aziraphale || She/He/They for Crowley

Great Room - the spare room usually adjacent to the living room, typically where the foyer enters into.

There was a lot you couldn’t tell your family. How your husbands were actually ethereal beings well over six thousand years old, how Aziraphale found a miracle that would help you to live forever alongside them, or how Crowley was the serpent they so often cursed in Sunday Service. But there was one thing you made crystal-fucking-clear, your name and gender identity. You came out as non-binary almost four years ago, telling your family how you wanted them to refer to you in only neutral terms.

You had met Aziraphale and Crowley a year after that, marrying them in secret two years later, just the past spring. Crowley had told you how they used all pronouns, so your favorite pastime was to call him your wife when using he/him pronouns. Aziraphale told you that he preferred he/him but wasn’t opposed to they/them if it was to put a bigot in place. That if he chose to present as a woman again for the first time in thousands of years then he would update such choices. Just a small family the three of you were.

Meeting them had been perfect for your mental health, you weren’t ready to date anyone, and a rainy day led to you stepping into the red and gold bookshop, with plants scattered about, books older than time itself, an angel and a demon running it. And they took you in without a second thought.

“Darling, you seem lost in thought,” Aziraphale broke you from your thoughts, your bottom lip sore from chewing it in stress. “What is it that troubles you?” You looked at him in the rear view mirror, smiling softly as you felt Crowley’s hand on your thigh.

“Just nervous, and feeling bad. I want to tell them about us, all three of us, and yet I’m too scared…” your family wasn’t the most open to anything outside of heteronormative, including polyamory unfortunately, leaving Aziraphale to be the “best friend/co-worker”, he had actually volunteered the title, saying it would look better for Crowley to be your husband since he appeared closer to your age than the white haired Angel did.

“Don’t fret, I know it’s not ideal, but we can pretend for one night.” Aziraphale reassured, his blue eyes seeming brighter despite the dim light in the Bentley.

“We’re here, love.” Crowley said, parking behind your uncle’s familar white SUV. “You two ready?” You looked over to Crowley and nodded, unbuckling and turning back in your seat to give Aziraphale his final kiss of the night.

Immediately you wanted to slink back into the Bentley when you heard a chorus of your deadname being yelled through the house, directing Aziraphale to the dessert table to place the Eccles cake while you set down the ancient wine bottle with the other drinks.

“This is Anthony,” you introduced your husband to your family, he was dressed in their gray button up with his red tie, black blazer and slacks. “And this is our dearest friend Azira.” Aziraphale was done up in his usual outfit except he traded out the faded waistcoat for a newer one.

“What a pity we couldn’t attend the wedding, but I suppose (s)he’s always done things his/her own way.” Your mom said, feigning innocence as your hand tightened on Crowley’s.

“Ah, yes, I suppose that’s what drew me to them. Their fierce determination.” Crowley glared slightly, a faux grin on her lips as they enunciated your pronouns. That was how the night would continue, both Crowley and Aziraphale determinedly trying to correct your family through their own speech.

“That’s it!” Aziraphale was the first to snap, seeing tears in your eyes as he sat across from you at the dining table, luckily the children were eating in the great room, the tv playing football flickered at his outburst. “I have absolutely had it with you lot misgendering them! They told you four years ago that they preferred gender neutral terms and informed you of their very legal name change, what is so hard to accept?”

When your mom went to speak, Crowley interrupted. “Nope, wrong answer there, see it’s not that hard, maybe in the beginning, to adjust, to try. But you lot never tried, did you? Instead our partner here is almost in tears, they were stressed about even coming, but unlike you all, they value you. And yes, I said our partner. Azira is not just a friend, in fact he’s as much their husband as I am.” Crowley rose from her chair and offered you their hand, which you gratefully took, letting him guide you out of the house with Aziraphale following behind you.

“I’m sorry, that was improper and I know that-” Aziraphale stammered out, feeling like he messed up but being cut off when you suddenly hugged him, laughing softly against his shoulder.

“Don’t you dare apologize, did you see their faces? That was so worth it, I have you two, and we’re a big enough family for me.” Aziraphale hugged you back tightly and kissed the side of your head, you felt Crowley press against your back, joining your hug and kissing Aziraphale.

“Happy Christmas, loves.”

“Happy Christmas, dear.”

“Happy Christmas, little devil.”

[lovelyjasmari]

Sweet Dreams for a Fair Queen aka VIL GET BEHIND ME

Hello everyone!

Currently, I’m still working on my addendum to my pomefiore arc analysis with the new content from the most recent JP update. I’m still waiting for all the translations to come in but I’m hoping to have it done by Monday or Tuesday. Honestly, I found that there is SO MUCH going on in this most recent update both good and bad. Too much to include in this addendum. Hence this separate post. 

Ironically, while my analysis was mainly focused on Vil and how he sees himself, the one thing from the most recent update that really needed a separate post was Vil himself. In this most recent update, we see the dreams of Vil, Epel, and Rook. I might talk about Epel’s later, and I’m saving Rook's for the addendum. But Vil’s…my god…SO MUCH to unpack, and unfortunately, none of it is good.

I don’t know if Yana was hit with a crowbar and developed amnesia while writing, or if she realized she did too good a job portraying the tragedy of Vil’s arc and had to backpedal, or if Disney took issue with Vil being too sympathetic because this is still a game based on villains. Either way, the way Vil is portrayed in his dream is SUCH a departure from his actual personality and morals that it bordered like a parody. His cruelty to Neige, how he spoke to Yuu and the others, and his generally conceded personality might be how a good deal of the fandom sees him, but this was NOT the true Vil Scheonheit we have come to know over the last four years. 

Unfortunately, Vil’s dream seems to have done even more damage to how this fucking fandom views him. I’ve seen many posts here and on the bird app saying how Vil’s dream proves his cruel personality isn’t just headcanon and that he is not beating the mean girl allegations anymore. It’s extremely upsetting because it’s true. Honestly, Vil is NOT beating the allegations and this time, it’s canon that is fucking him over. But before we dive deeper, and before I get too heated again, let’s look at Vil’s dream and how and why it goes against his established character so terribly. Finally, I will share with you all my own ideas of how I imagine Vil’s perfect dream would ACTUALLY play out. Obviously, spoilers ahead for the most recent update.

~~~

First, let’s quickly assess Vil’s character, to better understand why I’m so pissed. As a dorm leader, Vil is meticulous, tenacious and VERY altruistic. He genuinely cares for his dorm mates (and seems to have a soft spot for all the freshmen) and wants to see them become better people. And he goes to great lengths to see this through. Sometimes his methods come off as harsh and overwhelming but at some point even his most disgruntled subordinates come to understand why Vil is the way he is.

Another thing about Vil is he often, willingly, bears financial burdens in order to help those around him. He’s gifted cosmetics to other students and he willingly paid the VDC prize money to his fellow members and Yuu because he felt personally responsible for their loss and that wasn’t a small price tag. And when Yuu, Ace, Jamil and Azul accompanied him to Fairest City in the Tapis Rouge event, it can be assumed that Vil footed the bill for their transportation, logging, their dinner at the fancy restaurant AND the couture outfits they wore.

Despite coming from wealth, I imagine Vil’s wealth isn’t limitless like Kalim’s so to spend so much money on your classmates, and not expecting anything in return, speaks volumes about Vil’s selflessness and nobility. And because Vil’s wealth isn’t limitless, it makes his actions all the more meaningful.

As an actor, he is equally tenacious but more importantly, desires that ALL his success come from his own efforts and not because he’s the son of such a famous actor and producer. To the point Vil went to the length of actually changing his legal last name to further distance himself from Eric’s legacy. It would be so easy for Vil to coast off his father’s success. Eric could probably secure for his son any role that he wants, including the heroic one that Vil so deeply desires. But such would be going against every value Vil holds and would open him up to accusations of nepotism. Further adding to the villainous image the public falsely has of him. 

And as for his dynamic with Epel, I know this is an unpopular opinion but the way Vil treats him is NOT abusive. I understand there is a cultural aspect to Vil’s issue with Epel’s speech patterns that was made worse by how EN translated it but even with that in mind, Vil’s demands aren’t really that unreasonable. He makes it clear from the jump that he takes no issue with his dialect and it could be argued that Vil being so hard on him is out of care for Epel. What do you think would have happened if Epel took up such an attitude with any other NRC student? He would regularly be getting his ass beat and Vil is trying to prevent that. Honestly I have a lot of opinions on Vil’s dynamic with Epel but they’ll have to wait for another time. 

And even then, it’s been implied a few times that Vil tries to help Epel out in ways that Epel doesn’t completely hate. Even if Vil doesn’t approve of Epel’s misogyny, he does accept his interests and understands he desire to be stronger. It’s further implied in Epel’s dorm vignette when Vil tasks him with creating the magical wheel for his film project because he knows that Epel would enjoy it.

So as we can see, Vil is probably one of the more upstanding characters in twst. His crimes, if you can call them that, can mostly be regulated by misunderstandings and he actually ends up subverting many of the expectations we’d have for a character type like his. Even when he overblots, how it happens is so removed from the other overblots (and even the ones that come after) that it’s actually incredibly tragic. 

Now, let’s look at how Vil is portrayed in his perfect dream world. 

Terribly, to put it lightly. Though I understand now one of the reasons we got the Tapis Rouge event. Anyway, in Vil’s dream, he’s still a mega famous actor, beloved by many fans. The main difference between this and real life is Vil himself. When away from his adoring fans, he’s shown to be conceited, arrogant and mean spirited. He speaks very insultingly to Yuu and the other characters and even threatens to curse them as well. Neige is also his assistant in this dream and Vil is downright abusive to him. Even Miranda Priestly was a kinder boss to Andy than Vil is to Neige here.

Later when Yuu and co attempt to wake Vil up, he ends up having another dream of the VDC. In this one, Vil actually SUCCEEDS in poisoning Neige, resulting in NRC Tribe taking first place. Despite the fact that this again goes against every value Vil holds and it was actually his guilt of what he could have done to Neige that caused his overblot in the first place. And despite the fact that Vil would be revolted at VDC victory at such a cost. EVEN MORE than if he had won with their imperfect performance. 

All in all, he seems more like a caricature of his archetype than the actual kind and complex character he actually is. The complete opposite of EVERYTHING we’ve seen from Vil thus far. Naturally, I took great issue with this, not only because this just feeds into the fandom’s misconceptions of Vil, but because it’s just not accurate. AT ALL! THIS IS LIKE A BAD FUCKING FANFICTION! 

Okay, okay, before I get too hot under the collar, let me actually explain why this is such an awful portrayal of a character I hold so dear to my heart. 

Departure from his canon personality: Despite being a famous actor and model celebrated for his incredible beauty, Vil is actually a very humble person. His nature is not naturally mean-spirited, and he’s not a spoiled brat. Even when people piss him off, he’ll make his displeasure known; make no mistake about that! But he’s always respectful and, in the instance during the Tapis Rouge event, sometimes even encouraging. Above everything else, Vil is never harder on people than he is on himself.

Oversimplifying/invalidating his disdain for Neige: Now I understand that Neige being Vil’s abused assistant is a reference to Snow White being the Evil Queen’s scullery maid. But based on everything we know and have seen from both Vil and Neige, the reference does a disservice to both their characters. I would even argue if the reference was really needed in the first place because Vil’s disdain for Neige was never so simple as just petty jealousy. There is an actual, unfair dichotomy between them that places Neige above Vil in the eyes of people like Rook and, ultimately, the public at large. Vil has every right to resent this and were he treated more fairly, he might even be more kindly disposed towards Neige. Because Vil isn’t a petty person. Neige clearly admires Vil and Vil at least respects Neige but the dichotomy between them unfortunately prevents them from having a healthier dynamic. I don’t know if this will make sense but I don’t believe Vil hates Neige, what he hates is what he represents. 

Disney vs Yana: Now, I wanna preface what I’m about to say next as it being COMPLETELY speculation of my own. I have no hand in creating twst and have no idea what goes into it beyond what Yana talks or tweets about. But I’ve always felt that Disney takes issue with their more heroic characters portrayed in a morally gray light. It would explain why we haven’t seen Prince Rielle, why we haven’t seen Farena despite there being a whole ass Sunset Savanna event, and why everything about Neige’s character actually works against him and why he should be seen as the fairest one of all. In this case, I wonder if Vil’s ooc dream could have resulted from Disney meddling. It wouldn’t be the first time something like this happened in a game Disney has a creative hand in; anyone who is a Kingdom Hearts fan and played  KH3 knows this all too well. If that’s the case, this actually makes me extremely worried when we see the future overblotee dreams. ESPECIALLY Jamil’s dream, if you know, you know. 

For the most part, those are all the things I disliked about Vil’s dream. But now, in the interest of not ending this post on a completely sour note, let me paint for you all a picture. Two in fact since Vil had two different dreams in canon. 

Scenario 1: Vil never sees Neige’s VDC rehearsal. He and his teammates review the rehearsal footage as he originally intended, and he’s not put in a position to be retraumatized again. So he doesn’t overblot and instead, NRC Tribe gives a perfect performance through and through. Even when Vil does see Neige on stage, he knows he’s given the best performance he can and still votes for his team. NRC Tribe wins and Vil is celebrated for his incredible talent and absolutely beautiful dedication. The first step in Vil finally seeing himself with value outside the villainous persona people have projected upon him.

Scenario 2: This one I like a little better. Soon after graduation, Vil is offered the lead role in the Legendary Sword sequel Adela tried to sign him up for in Book 5. He plays the role of the heroic prince phenomenally and people are wowed by how much tenacity he brings to the role. As a heroic prince, he's charming and snarky, no-nonsense but with a heart of gold. Bringing a lot of his personality to the role but in a way that makes the audience relate with him regardless of his otherworldly beauty. Proving that he has what it takes to be a hero and stand on the stage until the end, he ALWAYS had was it takes. Neige would still exist in his perfect dream world and may still be in the film. Not as a rival/villain, though, but maybe as a supporting character. But with Vil finally getting the recognition he deserves, his dynamic with Neige would likely become healthier over time. 

In both scenarios, Vil would still be compelled to face his overblot phantom but things would be very different than how they went down in canon. After Yuu and co attempt to wake Vil up, he would be taken by the darkness and then come face to face with his phantom but rather than the phantom blaming Neige for everything, it would despair in its ugliness and how he can never be the fairest one of all. Not because of Neige, but because of his “ugly” feelings that compelled him to want to poison Neige in the first place.

Now, I personally feel like Vil’s canon dream is incredibly ooc for him. But if I must accept it, the only way I can interpret it is as being a result of Vil’s more ugly subconscious feelings. His jealousy of Neige and the “ugly” feeling that Neige must be put down in order for Vil to rise on top. That is the ONLY way I can consider this even a little in character for Vil but regardless , in my version, Vil would have to face all of those feelings head on.

Upon seeing his phantom’s sorrow, something would click in Vil that would make him realize that he was never ugly simply for having ugly emotions. That’s what makes him human and he shouldn’t be punished himself for that. Vil would tell his phantom that he’s not ugly and while desiring to poison Neige was abhorrent, that is not who Vil truly is. Reminding himself of the true nobility of his character. However, the phantom would still cry and even try to attack Vil for “lying” to him, attempting to consume Vil in the blot and saying it will consume everything so it can be the fairest one of all.

But this time, Vil would be strong enough to face those ugly emotions and that’s when he would overblot again.

There would still be a fight for gameplay reasons. But instead of Vil realizing he’s a terrible person deep down and “accepting” his dark, evil nature, he would instead comfort the phantom after weakening it. As the phantom fades, it would still weep at its ugliness but Vil would reiterate to him over and over again that he’s not ugly and while doing so, realizing himself that he isn’t ugly either simply for having ugly feelings and desires. What makes a person truly ugly is acting on those ugly emotions. Vil doesn’t have to always be perfect, he just has to be the best person he can be. But in being the best person he can, continually perusing his true definition of beauty, holding on to his values and never compromising them, can Vil truly be the fairest one of all.

Damn…why am I crying?! 😭

That would not only be such a great message but considering how subversive Vil’s overblot was from the start, would be very in keeping with the themes of Vil’s character arc. It would be the first step forward in repairing Vil’s broken self esteem. Unfortunately, this is not what we got but considering how it seems that Vil is still internalizing a lot of toxic things about himself, it’s heartbreaking, but understandable. But I’ll talk more about that in the upcoming addendum.

In the end, Vil is an incredibly tragic and misunderstood character, probably the most misunderstood character in twst after Kalim. And unfortunately, this most recent JP update did little to help his case. But either way, I at least hope I did an adequate job at explaining why. And I hope that in the future, Vil’s complexities are more accepted and acknowledged. By both the fandom and the canon.

[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles - Update 04/August/2023

Had a fun surprise this week!

I stumbled across a folder full of Wayhaven ideas I’ve been gathering over the years! :D Was seriously interesting and fun to go through scenes and ideas I’d totally forgotten about!

Some of them I know I really want to get into Book Four, so I’ve been working out which ones will work with the already planned scenes and adding those in as well, as sorting the others into the folders for the later books too.

There was also another thought-provoking moment this week. I was talking to my friend who does my French translations for me, and he was talking about the difference between literal translations and real life language.

Like, sometimes a word or saying can be translated literally through a translator or language dictionary, but those certain phrases are actually used differently than they might seem by people who speak it.

Kind of like slang.

Really made me think about an interesting moment to have between Farah/Felix and Nate/Nat over the difference they have about a certain important word in Echolian in Book Four. Really looking forward to that scene now—it just seems to add a bit of extra depth, especially as languages are really not my thing! :D

Hope you all have the most amazing weekend! We’ll be offline as usual, so I’ll update you all again next week!

[thewaether]

Night Games

Every four years, the Universe enters synchronicity with "The Universe of the Dead". spirits, ghosts, and the supernatural begin to emerge, and it sends the superstitious retreating inside, locking their doors.

It is during this period that the Night Games takes place.

Five teams of contestants gather at the "Grand Stadium", a remote planet, and set off travelling the stars to harness the "phenomena" and win the Night Games.

the game focuses on *Shade*, a young girl, and her Familiar, a robot named "Annie2", who have been chosen to compete in the games. Every planet you visit will usually be occupied by other contestants, all of whom have ledes for you to chase.

...But will the Night Games go as planned, or is something else afoot...!!!!!!??!?!?!!? ....Something far more SINISTER??!!??!??

I've been working on this game for a long while now and it's expanded into something way bigger than I planned when it began. I'm planning to release it in chapters, to make it more manageable, and the first "Act" will contain the first 4-or-so planets. That's a lot!

Features shmup sections and a "world map" where you fly the rocket around

...And on a planet, it's a point-and-click adventure game with a focus on role playing rather than solving elaborate puzzles (although that's there too, if you desire...)

Actually polishing it this time, so it's taking way longer

I set out to make something that looked shamelessly gothy, set alongside its sci-fi setting.

Loads of animation, the end result will have more animation than I've put into a game I think in my whole life

Hand-drawn backgrounds across the board

I've considered getting funding for it but that might happen at a later stage. right now I'm just doing my usual thing and putting it all together bit by bit.

I love the world I've created with this game and I plan to focus on it. I'll post development updates on this blog and sometimes my informal blog. I'm one person so I can't promise it'll be finished quickly, but I hope to give it the time it needs.

[xoxoladyaz]

It Hits Different This Time, Part 3

Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Rock Star Eddie x Steve Harrington

TW: Mentions of alcohol, drug abuse

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five

Brief updates from Eddie, a phone call with Jeff, and finally some news about Gareth

Steve woke up with a stuffy head the next morning; he’d spent a solid hour crying with Robin on the couch after he got off the phone with Eddie, going over everything Eddie had said again and again in excruciating detail. They weren’t sad tears, they were tears of relief, but it still did quite a number on his sinuses.

Thankfully, when he talked with Eddie later that evening, Eddie hadn't let his own negative emotions keep him down.“Talking with Wayne has been tough,” he’d said with a wry laugh. “I’d really been hoping I would never have to have this conversation with him, but hey, we had it, and now things can get better.” (Which reminded Steve that he needed to call Wayne and see how he was doing in all of this.) 

Aside from that, though, Eddie seemed to be in high spirits. He told Steve all about the detox process (“Terrible, I’d rather go skinny-dipping with Jason Carver than go through that again”) and about his conversations with his therapist (“Ugh, I feel like my heart is throwing up, but Doc said that was a good thing and that we’re making progress, so, yay?”) and all about his sobriety sponsor (a seventy-five-year-old Italian woman named Francesca that he called “Frankie, she’s fucking hilarious, I kind of want to set her up with Wayne.”) Steve just couldn’t get over how good it was to hear Eddie like this: how awake and alert he sounded, how clear his voice was, how loud he laughed. It made the last ten months even more glaring in how off Eddie had been before, how badly fucked up he had been on whatever cocktail of drugs he'd been taking.

They’d gotten a bit more time to talk this evening, which was wonderful, but Steve was relieved that they ended their call as early as they did because he had a few calls of his own to make, now that things were settling down somewhat.

“Hey Jeff.”

“Steve!” Jeff’s voice rang loud and clear over the line. “Shit, man, it’s good to hear from you. How are you doing?”

“Good, good. I just got off the phone with Eddie and I just wanted to say thank you, man. I can’t – I can’t tell you enough how grateful I am that you were there for him when I wasn’t.”

“Shit, Steve,” Jeff replied reassuringly. “Eddie’s my brother. He might be kind of an asshole, or, actually, he might be a lot of an asshole - ” (Steve snorted through his nose) “ – but I’d do anything for him. I was happy to be there. And I know that if I was the one getting into that deep shit, he’d have done the same for me.”

“Still, it’s hard, man. I mean, I wasn’t even there and - ” Fuck, he would love to stop getting choked up all the time. “ – and it’s been hard for me. I can’t even imagine what it was like for you.”

Jeff’s sigh was long and deep. “Well, I can’t say it was a fun time, because it wasn’t. It actually really fucking sucked, watching them just fall apart all the time because they were too fucking high. I’m just really glad I didn’t relapse myself.”

“It’s amazing that you didn’t, man.”

“Yeah, well,” he could hear the smile in Jeff’s voice, “I had an angel with me. Speaking of, Chrissy says hi.”

“Hi Steve!” Steve can hear the lilting voice of Jeff’s fiancée in the background.

“Tell her ‘hi’ back for me,” Steve smiled, although on the inside he was reeling. Why wasn’t I enough for him to stay sober?

“I will,” Jeff said back. “And listen, before you start spiraling or anything, Eddie’s drug use has nothing to do with you, man. The only reason I’ve stayed sober the last two years is because I got to a point where I wanted to be. I mean, I was into some rough shit when I met Chris, and it took me about a year and half before I decided it was time to get sober. And yeah, Chrissy was a part of that, just like you’re a part of it for Eddie, but the difference now is that Eddie wants to make this change and get the help to do it. He just got there on his own time. If there’s one thing you can’t do, it’s rush Eddie Munson.”

“Tell me about it,” Steve chuckled, and with his laugh felt the tension in his chest dissipate. “I’ve started telling him our reservations are half-an-hour earlier than they actually are just so we can leave on time. Which reminds me, he told me to treat you and Chrissy to dinner on the Amex.”

“The Amex?” Jeff whistled. “Fancy, fancy. We’ll be back in town next week, maybe you and Robin can meet us somewhere?”

“That would be great. Are you still out in Cali?”

“Yeah,” Jeff sighed, and this time his sigh was sadder. “We’ve been staying near Gareth’s facility, trying to convince him to stay.”

“Shit, man, I was going to ask what happened with him.”

“Gareth,” Jeff sighed again, “he just started the party scene later than the rest of us. It’s still new and exciting to him and he doesn’t think that all the shit he’s doing is a problem. And I mean, he hadn’t really gone that hard until that last weekend right before we came back, but I think he’s still in the denial stage with how bad it’s gotten. Chrissy is getting through to him though, I think. He’s agreed to at least stay for the four-week program.”

“Have you asked Wayne to talk to him? That might help.”

“Shit, I should,” Jeff hummed. “Wayne knows that he’s checked in, but Gareth hasn’t had phone calls until yesterday. I’ll get Wayne the number, see if he can’t help Gareth out.”

“Robin and I would be more than happy to talk to him, too. He’s family, you know? I’d hate to see him get hurt or worse.”

“I’ll let him know that he can give you two a call,” Jeff replied warmly. “That’ll mean a lot to him, I think. I’m going to try to get permission for Eddie to call him, too, I’m just not sure if there’s extra precautions they want people to take when they’re in these programs. At the very least, if Gareth sees Eddie get sober and stay sober, it might inspire him to do the same. You know how much he looks up to him.”

“Yeah, I do,” Steve replied, and he was about to say more when his phone started vibrating.

Incoming Call: Wayne Munson

“Wayne’s calling, I’m going to check in with him. Thanks again for everything, Jeff, and let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Absolutely. Talk to you soon, man.”

Steve pressed the End Call, Start New Call button and brought his phone back up to his ear. “Hey Wayne.”

“Hello son. Glad I caught you.”

Tags List: @gregre369 @starman-jpg @skoomy-doompy @thequeenrainacorn @sleepyboosstuff @strawberrykore @paintsplatteredandimperfect @amoris-no-smut-allowed @steve-the-hairrington @iknewyouweremuggle @swimmingbirdrunningrock @sunfloweringstories @loverkasp @hyperfixationgoddess @steddie-as-they-go @zerokrox-blog @messrs-weasley @thelittleclare @lovelyscot @avacrebs @notsopretty-notsopink @novacorpsrecruit @srra @vampireinthesun @questionablequeeries @aylienator @unlit--skeleton @my2amgaythoughts @solliesolesito @epiclazershark @dreamlandforever @steadyllamaghostpeanut @nerdfighteratheart @callme-keys @space-invading-pigeon @bisexual-bilingual-biped @scheodingers-muppet @yikes-a-bee @littlewildflowerkitten @dbquills @julesiuile @child-of-cthulhu @immortal-iratze @r0binscript @manda-panda-monium @abstractnaturaldisaster @ilikeititspretty @high-risk-homosexual-behavior @jonesn4coffee @morganski-19 @almondflavoredbookworm @punctualhowell @sebastiansstanswhore @loguine-linguine @pearynice @imfinereallyy @theoneandonlywhitetiger @kjobriscoe @copingmechanizm @bejeweledbaby

[kookslastbutton]

Fine Print ༓ jjk, kth (m) || ch. I

✑ Summary: Your boss needs you to strike a deal with one of South Korea's biggest business tycoon, Kim Taehyung. What he didn't tell you though, was that Jeon Jungkook, his negligent heir, would be accompanying you the whole time. Isn't this just peachy?

Pairing: company heir!jungkook x fem!reader x ceo!taehyung (not poly)

AU/genre: angst, humor, fluff, smut, stuck together, office au, coworkers2lovers, lo-love triangle (do I dare? yes, yes I do), mini-series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 4.1k+

Now playing: Softcore, Do I Wanna Know?, Blank Space...

Warnings: Not too many this chapter but main ones are swearing, bickering, jk is kind of a kluts so he ain't exactly prince charming right now, reader is ticked obvs, accidental t*tty flash, oh and reader has a cat!

Taglist:

@coralmusicblaze @seokjins-luigi @oopscoop @chanjwl @taebangtanbabe @j3oooonsnsns

A/N: Here it is! Late again, I know, so thank you to anyone who's been waiting. I'm super excited about this mini-series! FYI I've decided not to make chapters too long so I'm more likely to update faster. Enjoy and lmk what you think. My asks are open 💞

One.

Two.

Three.

It's been three hours on the phone with your sister.

'Have you eaten anything yet? Oh dear, why not? Go eat right now!'

'You better not be pregnant __. I'm not ready to be an aunt yet!'

"There are more important things than work you know. I know it's hard to admit but, distance is good so you don't become dull and boring. Get away for a while. You can come up to my place for a few if you need.'

Although Y/S/N is only four years older, she's always had the compulsion to act like your mother. Constantly checking up on you, giving unsolicited advice, and spewing opinions were her specialty.

It's not that you mind hours of conversations over the phone and it's not entirely dreadful. But your energy is surely spent after. Guess that's family for you.

"Really, I'm fine," you answer back. "Don't worry about me so much. And yes I ate, no I'm not pregnant, and I can't afford a break from work right now but I'll see you as soon as I can."

Once the phone slips from your ear, you release a soft huff. Finally. You allow your mind to go blank before something long and sleek brushes against your calf. You can't help but break into a smile and crouch down on the floor to confront the source.

"Did you miss me baby?"

Meow.

"I missed you too." You pick up Kumo, your 3-year-old Siamese. Kumo lived at a local rescue league for a year before you adopted him. You weren't sure you'd be able to take care of a cat when a friend suggested it. But once you saw Kumo's shimmering blue eyes, you knew you weren't walking out empty-handed.

Meowmeowmeow

Kumo kneads your sleeve, ears relaxing as you stroke his back. Each gentle purr reminds you why you consider him your best form of therapy. "Good boy Kumo. I wish I could take you to work with me...silly company policy."

A few strokes later and Kumo starts wiggling in your arms. Claws prick your skin, telling you he's had enough lovey-dovey for now. You suppose it's nearly time for his late night snack.

Meooooow

"Alright I gotcha," you say, setting him near his food dish. Kumo gladly jumps out of your arms to attack the last remaining pebbles in his bowl. "Mom should get something to eat too shouldn't she?"

Truth be told you actually hadn't eaten all day. And though you never meant for it to happen, it's a regular occurrence. Your sister would go absolutely off if she found out which is why you sorta...don't tell her?

Feeling your body aching, you pop a few pieces of fruit in your mouth before deciding to hit the shower. Not the most substantial option but you're ready to crash and crash hard. You'll eat in the morning, for sure. You plug your cell in by the nightstand but before you turn to leave, a notification drops on the screen.

CEO Jeon: __, sorry to be reaching out this late. I need you to come by my office around 2:30 tomorrow if you can. There's something urgent I need to discuss with you. [sent at 9:03pm]

You re-read the message twice before typing out a reply. What could be this urgent? Are you being let go? Dammit, don't think like that. Surely he wouldn't.

__: Of course Saengnim. I'll be there at 2:30pm. Is everything alright? [sent at 9:07pm]

CEO Jeon: Thank you __. Everything's fine, only a slight change of plans. Have a good night. [sent at 9:08pm]

Still unsettled, you're tempted to press further. But being your boss, you let it go. The risk of grilling him for answers wasn't something you were willing to take.

Probably has to do with a new product launch or something, you think. The company's always pumping out new tech. Nothing's been as successful as those smart lights though. They were the true turning point for the company.

With a long exasperated sigh, you grab a towel from the bathroom closet and turn on the shower knob. Whatever it is, you'll find out tomorrow.

"Get your feet off my desk Jungkook."

He looks at you with his notorious bambi eyes, hands laced behind his neck. He's got a stripped dress shirt on, untucked, over a pair of light-washed jeans. Who let the kid in your office?

"I did." He says. "And you're not allowed to call me kid when I'm only three years younger than you."

So you said that kid thing out loud—classic.

"You can't be in here without permission Jungkook." You ignore his comment and hang your jacket on the hook behind the door.

Jungkook eyes you from the other other side of the desk. He takes in your perfectly fitted white blouse, sleek black slacks, and shiny heels. Always so put together, he thinks. A little too posh for his taste personally.

"You know my daddy owns this office." He clicks his tongue. "So technically, I kinda already got permission and all."

You hate when he uses that card. Like being the boss's son suddenly alleviates him from standard office protocol. You promise, the day this irritable little prick takes over the company will be the day you quit. Good thing that won't be for a long time though. Jungkook is far from ready to run a multibillion-dollar company.

You place a hand on your hip. "Is there something I can do for you? Because I have a very generous to-do list and babysitting you isn't on there."

Jungkook sweeps his feet off the mahogany surface. His posture straightens as he strolls his chair, or rather your chair, closer to the desk. "I'm glad you asked." He clutches his hands together, as if serious. "I need a partner."

You hold back a snort. This better not be what it sounds like. "Nice try but I'm not going out with you Jungkook."

"Oh gosh no, that's not what I meant." He shakes his head. "Pretty sure we'd both get in trouble then, given our relationship. Plus…you're not really my type."

"Okay, so there's something we can agree on." Jungkook openly admitting he isn't attracted to you is the least of your concerns. You aren't necessarily fond of him either. "What do you need me to do then? Set you up with someone? Get to the point please."

"I'm not talking about that type of partner __. I mean a work partner."

You feel the hand on your hip slowly glide down your figure. Work partner? Jungkook notices the blood immediately rush from your face. "I'm listening," you mumble.

"Yeah so uh, my dad wants me to get more exposure to the company because I'll be running it one day or whatever. Apparently, there's some business trip coming up that's a really big deal and I'm supposed to go. I was told you have the reigns on it. So I'm gonna need to be like your partner or something. I guess it's already decided actually, sorry.”

The words hardly register in your brain. He couldn't be talking about the business trip. The one that's been rattling in your brain, keeping you up day and night. Your boss assigned it to you months in advance, saying you'd be able to network with the company's potential client best.

You were confident in taking on such a task until you learned it wasn't just any client. It was Kim Taehyung, CEO of the biggest and most luxurious hotel chain in South Korea; White Lotus. Hearing his name alone made your toes curl. Nevertheless, you've been doing all you can to prepare for the official meeting. Having Jungkook there to breathe unnecessary stress down your neck wasn't part of the plan. And oh my god...it's in two days!

"Uh, well um, okay" is all you can reply amongst your jumbled-up thoughts.

Jungkook, completely opposite expression, breaks out into a big wide grin. "Okay, it's settled then! Who we meeting? Kim Taeyang or something?"

"Really Jungkook? Kim Taeyang?" You circle your temple knowing full well what your future was about to behold. This must be what your boss wanted to meet about. The fact that he said this was merely a "slight change of plans" is alarmingly irksome. Oh, you're definitely getting that drink after work. "It's Taehyung," you correct. "Wait...what time is it?"

Jungkook checks his phone. "Uhm..about 2:20."

Dammit. Pressed for time, you stride around your desk and pick up a folder from a stack of documents. "Sorry to cut this short but you're going to have to leave now. I have a meeting in ten minutes and you can't be here."

With furrowed brows, Jungkook lets out a small grunt. It doesn't seem to be from a place of anger but rather, disappointment. "What about the business trip with Taehyang? You still have to get me up to speed and stuff!"

"For the last time, it's Kim Taehyung. Taehyung." You stress every syllable of his name before rubbing your forehead. "You might wanna get his name right before you shake his hand in two days!"

"Well, what am I supposed to do? I'm here all day! I kinda need you."

Anxiously, you flip the folder open and scan through each page. "I don't know, do some research about Kim and his hotel chain. If you're coming on the trip you need to know a thing or two."

"But—"

"Off you go," you say, smacking him with the folder in hand. "Beat it."

"That's no way to treat your work partner or better yet, future ceo __."

"Out Jungkook. I'll talk you to later."

Your boss rounds the corner of his desk, a glass of scotch in hand. He invites you to take a seat before getting down to the heart of it. "Now that Jungkook's 25 he needs to start preparing for his future," he says. "I'm well aware that he's not yet ready to take over as CEO, which is why I've decided that he go with you on this very critical business trip. You've been a loyal part of my team these past five years and I trust you to help guide Jungkook into the next stage of his life."

"Sir, I am pleased that you'd think of me in this way, however, the meeting is in two days. Kim Taehyung is someone who we both know expects perfection. I'm well prepared to have this discussion with him regarding our transaction but I'm concerned that Jungkook won't have enough time to."

"I understand your concern. But not to worry, Ms. __. Jungkook is merely there to observe so you shouldn't need to worry about him saying something he shan't. You'll still be taking the lead on everything."

"Sir I–"

"__. I know its very last minute. And my son has his challenges but I'm afraid this isn't a choice for you. But I tell you what. If you do this for me and you manage to seal the deal with Kim, I guarantee you'll be very well compensated."

The replay of your earlier meeting with your boss brews in the back of your mind. You nearly forget where you are until your friend pipes up from across the table.

“You’re kidding," the younger woman says, nearly spitting out her drink.

“I wish I was.” The dryness in your tone is unmistakable. "My boss said he insists that his son, who by the way has barely stepped foot in the company, be involved in one of the biggest business transactions in years. How am I supposed to sell smart tech to Kim Taehyung with that kid fiddling with god knows what beside me?"

The woman, Eun-ji, flashes you her famous side-eye. “Oh stop complaining __, it'll cause wrinkles. Besides that kid is basically the same age as you. But more importantly, he's hot.” She gives you a light shove. “Don’t pretend you don't know it.”

You shake your head and take a sip of your cocktail. Eun-ji may be one of your closest friends but damn was that girl relentless. Constantly giggling over you and Jungkook going away for a few days is just another one of her matchmaking attempts. Yesterday it was the overly friendly man at the bakery, today it’s your boss’s nuisance of a son.

A blaring light suddenly gets shoved in front of you mid-thought, causing your face to jolt back. Your eyes struggle to adjust to the blinding brightness of the phone screen. “What the hell Eun-ji? Get Jungkook out of my face.”

Eun-ji swipes left, revealing another ridiculous photo of Jungkook posing as the next prodigy of business. “The one to watch” or some shit. “Look at that face __, and those muscles. You can’t hate him forever.”

You scrunch your face. “I never said I hated him Eun-ji. I’m a grown woman for god sak–okay that's enough!” You push the phone abruptly back. “I don’t want to see my boss’s son in Calvin Klien's underwear, please.”

Eun-ji chuckles and sets her phone down. “Sorry, accident.” She casually folds her arms on the wood surface and leans forward. “But seriously, three days alone with Jungkook in the most glamorous hotel in Seoul and you don’t think anything of it?”

“I’m not having sex with Jungkook if that's what you're getting at. And yes, we’ll be in a fancy-ass hotel with joint rooms,” you say emphasizing the joint part. “But it’s not a leisure trip. I’m going there to form some sort of partnership or deal with Kim and Jungkook happens to be carry-on luggage. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Fine. Have it your way.” Slowly, Eun-ji falls back in her chair. Her eyes flicker to a far corner of the restaurant before the same sly expression returns. “So how do you feel about meeting Kim Taehyung, the beast of business and hospitality himself?”

“Still a little shaken up but I've had several variations of these meetings before. Kim Taehyung is just a man and I can handle him.”

“Come on __, extend me a branch," Eun-ji say with a slight whine. "Maybe Jungkook gets by but not Kim Taheyung. We both know you've been head over heels for him in Lalaland ever since he made front and center with the press."

Tugging your bottom lip you desperately try suppressing a grin. "That's such an exaggeration. I'm not–"

"I've known you for ten years __. You're always, and I mean always weak for an intelligent, sexy, business-savvy brain. Kim far surpasses the bill."

"Alright fine, fine fine fine," you chant, giving up. "You're right. I'm still nervous as hell about meeting Taehyung and hope to death I don't fumble. Happy?"

Pleased, Eun-ji lets out a wide grin that tells you she's now concocting a soap opera with you and Taehyung as the main leads. "That's all I wanted to hear," she coos.

"Promise me you'll take good care of Komu? We leave Friday morning."

"Of course, I will," she says, leaning forward to gently grip your shoulder. "Kumo and I are going to have three full days of watching reruns of Love Island. Kai Fagan and Sanam Harrinanan are his favorites."

Friday - 8:04 a.m.

"If you don't get here in the next fifteen minutes I'm leaving with or without you Jungkook." You stroll your suitcase into the boarding line outside your gate. You and Jungkook's flight to Seoul was scheduled to take off in twenty minutes but your partner, get this, woke up late and is now running ridiculously behind.

"Yeah, try explaining why you ditched me at the airport to my dad __." Was it just you or was Jungkook's voice even more annoying over the phone than in person? God you could strangle him right now. You suggested carpooling over well ahead of time to make it easy but no, his highness didn't want to.

"Listen __,"Jungkook continues. "I'm at security right now and I'm rushing as fast as I can. The line isn't too bad now so I'll be there in ten. I'm sure."

"Okay, but don't muck around too much. And make sure to take off your belt before you go through security."

"Yes mom."

"Don't ever call me that," you grit.

On the other end, Jungkook chuckles, relishing in your distaste. "What if I put a couple letters on the end though? You seem the type to be into momm—"

"Just get here!" You hang up instantly. What the hell was he on?

Twelve minutes pass and you're again checking your phone feverishly. Jungkook was supposed to be here by now but there hasn't been any sight of him. You're about to ring him up for the third time today when you feel a body brush against your arm.

"Sorry!" Jungkook leans on the handle of his suitcase, taking deep breaths. "There was...someone had a pocket knife in front of me and it held us up."

"Well if you had–" You pause realizing you really are starting to sound like a mom. So much so that you're making your own skin crawl. You recall Eun-ji's wise words a couple days ago. 'Stop complaining __, it'll cause wrinkles.'

'"It's alright," you mutter. "At least you're here."

"Really? That's it? Thought you were gonna scold me again. 'Jungkook you friggin' embarrassment, I told you to leave early so we'd be here on time. You're lucky I don't send you back to your dad and doom your future right now'."

Oh fuck no. He did not just try imitating you and in such a horrid voice too.

"That's not how I sound and you know it."

Jungkook snorts at your sour face. He isn't trying to be a thorn in the side but he's also not about to let you keep your stiff exterior. Being a CEO's son showed him the true price of being an uptight businessman and it isn't in his interest to let another person, especially his age, live life not knowing how to relax and what was that phrase...smell the roses?

"C'mon sunshine, I'm just kidding around," he says. "Also, glass half full, I did make it here before the plane took off. First day on the job and I'm already killing it."

"How about I make you my assistant instead of a partner," you bite. "And you only talk when spoken to?"

"You wouldn't."

Line finally starting to move you tighten the grip on your luggage and move with the crowd. You tilt your head to the side and flash Jungkook a tight lipped smile that said, 'try it bitch'.

"You're cruel you know that?" Jungkook grabs his own luggage and follows your lead.

Stunning. Immaculate. Expensive.

The list goes on as you and Jungkook walk through the golden doors of White Lotus. Everywhere you look, masterpieces from the great masters hang from the walls and cover the ceiling. You notice the same gold on the door is used as trim for the ceiling as decorative accents mount its corners. Dangling above is a giant glass chandelier, while below you are beige marble floors.

Taehyung certainly doesn't skimp, does he...

"Welcome to White Lotus," the receptionist says. "Do you have a reservation?"

Blinking yourself out of your daze, you walk up to the receptionist's desk. "Yes, we're here under the name Jeon." You usher Jungkook over who takes his ID out of his wallet. The receptionist scans both yours and his before sliding them back.

"Saengnim has been expecting you Ms. __," the woman says. "He's absolutely delighted you're here. Your rooms will be on the 29th floor, breakfast is 7am-10am, and wifi is inside." You're handed two key cards with a warm smile.

"Thank you, Hana," you say, reading the woman's name tag. "We're privileged to be in such a beautiful place."

"Isn't it?" Hana sweeps her eyes around the room with wonder. "Saengnim chooses each and every part of this hotel with immense detail. He wants every guest to be met with the best service and completely dazzled."

"It would seem so," you reply, following her trail. "This is by far, the most extravagant hotel I've ever stayed in. It's clear how it has earned an unbelievably positive reputation. Its creator loves it, cherishes it as his own."

Meeting your eyes again, Hana retains her warm smile. "I'm glad you see it too. It's true Saengnim has poured his heart and soul into White Lotus. Guests from all over the world have come just to see what Saengnim designed. And sometimes, they even get to meet him." Hana suddenly pauses, a hint of shyness creeping up on her cheeks. "Forgive me, I don't mean to keep you. I should let you both rest."

"No, please don't apologize," you urge. "It's great to see such admiration." Evidently, Kim Taheyung isn't the only one who has been dedicated to White Lotus. You and Jungkook bid Hana good night for the evening then follow the bellhop to the elevator.

"So tomorrow, remember, let me handle Kim."

"Okay yeah, I gotcha." Jungkook grazes the blackout curtains with the tips of his fingers. He peaks out the window next, taking in the breathtaking view of Seoul at night.

"Are you even listening to me?"

The man turns around, flinging his arms in the air. "Honestly, not really. Look at this room __. It's fucking huge!"

"I know, it's so ethereal. But I need you to concentrate for a second. Our meeting starts tomorrow and I need us to be on the same page. Technically, we'll be touring the hotel with Kim and whatnot so nothing's getting signed, but still. We can't be underprepared."

"I will talk as little as possible. I give you my word."

"Good." You give a slight nod and hoist your suitcase on the bed. "By the way, did you find out anything about Kim's background?"

"Uh shit–knew I forgot something. I'm going to read up about him right now!" In a mad hurry, Jungkook heads for his room.

"Wait, before you go–"

Dammit. You'll just text him.

__: Don't forget we meet Kim at 9 a.m. [sent at 9:56pm]

Jungkook: I'll be up at 6 a.m. Gotta scope out Kim's gym while I'm here. Bet it's loaded with the best equipment. You should join me! [sent at 9:58pm]

__: Mm, thanks but no thanks. [sent at 10:00pm]

Jungkook: Suit yourself. See ya in the morning!! [sent at 10:03pm]

Alright __, you've showered, gone over your notes, hell you even practiced a few lines in front of the bathroom mirror. It's time to sleep. Lazily, you flop yourself on the bed, starfish and all. You feel your eyelids closing, pulling you into dreamland until a cool breeze tickles your bare thighs.

"Ugh", you groan.

You forgot you were still in your robe. Would it be horrible to just sleep naked tonight? Sitting upright you fiddle with the knot of the silk material. Not a bad idea, __. You start loosening the knot before shaking the robe off your shoulders. You let out a–

"__!" Without warning the joint door between you and Jungkook thrusts open. Your partner bursts through your room, eyes shifting into a bugged-out expression when he sees your nearly bare state.

"Oh my god, Jungkook! You can't just come in like that, fuck!" Panicked, you wrap the material back around your chest, clinging it tight against your breasts. "Go back, go back until I say come in!"

Stunned look on his face, Jungkook retreats to his room. He ends up bumping into the doorframe clumsily before slamming the door shut. "I'm so sorry __! Shit, I didn't mean to walk in on you or anything. It's...I came in because something happened. Fuck, I swear I didn't see anything. It was like a blur."

Shutupshutupshutup

You quickly retie the straps of your robe, mentally calming yourself. "Jungkook if you have any respect for me, please forget this. And for the love of might, don't tell anyone!"

"No, of course not! I-I've forgotten already." On the other side of the door, Jungkook curses himself. 'Are you a fucking idiot or something? Just walking into her room like that this late at night.' He paces in a small circle, fists clenched. "Okay, breathe. It's just tits. Tits Jungkook, you've seen–fuck!'

Why? Why did he have to be here?! From Jungkook almost missing this morning's flight to being overwhelmingly underprepared for tomorrow's meeting and now walking in on you, tits out and all, Jungkook is easily the worst partner you've had! No wonder you prefer working alone.

"Uhm, something..." You clear your throat. "Something happened you said?" You brace yourself for whatever chaos Jungkook's brought this time.

Jungkook is slow to form a reply but in a near whisper, he says, "I think I just met Taehyung. Actually, I know I met him. Yeah 'cause, I shook his hand...right before I spilled ice over his perfectly shined loafers. Gucci. Please don't send me back to my dad!"

A/N: Thanks for stopping by! As always, lmk your thoughts. See ya! 💞

Masterlist

© kookslastbutton

[heavyhitterheaux]

Sisters No More

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: ARE WE READY!?

Synopsis: An anonymous source reveals that your big sister Danielle isn't exactly who you think she is

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

First Lady of Private Garden Masterlist

Thank you to @hoodharlow and @nattinatalia for helping 😘💖

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

“Did we seriously get all three of them to go to sleep and it’s only 7:30?” Jack asked as both of you collapsed on the couch, but you more so did a faceplant.

“Mm hmm. I was surprised Ivy actually let you go since she was clinging to you so tight.” You muttered before Jack picked you up and slid you onto his lap while kissing your forehead.

The two of you had gone out to brunch with Dani, Drama, Urban, and Curse earlier that day while Maggie and Brian watched the triplets which you were thankful for. It was the first time that the two of you had gone out without them and of course you and Jack were texting them every 20 minutes to check on them before Urban snatched both of your phones.

"Jack, did you forget that your parents also had to raise your dumbass and Clay? This isn't their first rodeo." Urban said while finally getting close enough to snatch his phone.

"It is their first rodeo for having three newborns at one time!"

"They're fine and you two need to stop worrying so much. If there was really a problem, we would know." Curse added while drinking her mimosa and you immediately got jealous.

"I miss drinking mimosas."

"It won't be too much longer until you get to have them again."

"Yes it will be if I plan on breastfeeding for 2 years at the most." 

"Damn in that time you might be pregnant again." Urban said while also drinking his.

"NO THE HELL I WILL NOT! FOUR UNDER 2? FUCK THAT!"

All Jack did was smirk and laugh at you.

"That isn't funny Jackman!"

"But at least you wouldn't be doing it by yourself."

"We're really proud of the two of you. Perfect parents." Dani said while smiling at both of you. 

"There's no such thing, but we'll always try our best to do right by them and they're going to know how much they're loved."

—

“Are you going anywhere tomorrow?” You inquired as you grabbed the remote and was flipping through different channels.

“Nope, I’m all yours. I moved a few meetings to Friday since I at least know Blanca, Jessica, and Victoria will be here with you. But I’ll still be here since they’re all zoom meetings. That way you’ll have help.”

“I actually thought it was going to be worse. We’re actually sleeping for the most part which is surprising. My mom couldn’t believe it.” 

“Hopefully it stays that way.”

The two of you fell asleep on the couch and Jack was woken up by his phone repeatedly going off while you were still laying on his chest in a comfortable slumber. 

He didn’t even bother looking to see who it was and answered.

“Hmm?”

“Jack, I’m sorry for calling this late, but um… did you hear?”

He immediately recognized Saweetie’s voice.

“Hear what? And what time is it?”

“2 in the morning for you, but it is literally everywhere.”

“What is everywhere?” Now that got his attention and he tried to sit up without disturbing you. 

“Just turn to E! News, they’ve been showing it on repeat for the past hour. Tell Y/N I’m sorry and I’ll call her later.” 

After Jack had hung up the phone, he reached for the remote in order to turn to E! News and one he did, his jaw dropped.

“We have gotten word from an anonymous source that Danielle Valentine who we all know and love to be Y/N Harlow’s older sister and a part of her management team is actually her birth mother who had her at the age of fifteen, but that’s not all. Her birth father is DJ Drama who is the owner of Generation Now, the record label that she as well as her husband Jack Harlow are signed under. Sources are saying that DJ Drama signed Y/N and Jack Harlow as a favor to Danielle. We’ll give more updates as soon as we learn more.”

Jack quickly shook you awake and you groaned.

“Baby, the house better be on fire or one of them is hungry and I don't mean you. I was sleeping so good.”

“I know, babe and I’m sorry, but please wake up and look at this.”

“What?” You picked your head up from his chest and turned towards the television as Jack rewinded the segment so that you could see it from the beginning and pressed play.

You sat there dead silent as you listened to it. When it was over all you did was look down at your hands in your lap.

“Baby girl… I… I don’t even know where to begin.”

Silence.

“Baby, please say something. I know it’s….”

“How could they lie to me like that? For almost 25 years?” You asked as you picked up your phone and saw the many texts from the two of them in a group chat with all four of you. You also saw multiple calls from anyone you could think of.

Dani- Baby girl, please let us explain

Drama- I promise it will make sense when we do

Dani- We were going to tell you, just wanted to do it at the right time

Dani- Y/N, please answer me

Dani- Everything I’ve done has been for you and Jack to be successful. Please, you have to understand that. I love you and I love Jack as if he was my own.

Drama- We wanted the both of you to succeed and this is how we had to go about it

“They have some fucking nerve to think that I want to hear them out. My mind is racing and I don’t even know what to think right now.” You muttered as both you and Jack looked at the text messages. 

“I know. I… shit… I don’t even know how to begin to make you feel better because I mean damn.”

“You being my husband and always supporting me even if I do dumb shit sometimes is enough for me. I just… therapy is really helping me because if this happened a year ago, I would have gone to her house right now and kicked her ass. I would have dragged her ass out of the bed, I don’t give a damn what time it is. Birth mother or not.”

“I’m proud of you for sticking with it. That just feels weird to hear you say… about her being your birth mother I mean.”

“It feels weird saying it. She was only fifteen and that means that he had to be seventeen.”

“Still a child herself.”

“I always wondered what my mom meant when she said she didn’t want me to go down the same path Dani did. She never explained what she meant by it. I would always ask but she always said to ask her about it but I never did. I do recall one time, I was maybe 6 at the time, but I distinctly remember her coming in the house high, but of course I had no idea what that was then. Apparently she went upstairs and took more of whatever she had because when I went to her room, I couldn’t wake her up and I yelled for my mom. She definitely overdosed. She cared more about drugs than she did her own child. I don’t even think she realizes that I remember.”

“They need to give you answers too. They’re just as guilty as she is. You don’t keep something like that from someone for more than twenty years.”

“People have big age gaps between their children all the time and I obviously didn’t think anything of it, because why would I? The only reasoning behind this that I can think of is that she felt guilty leaving her parents to raise a child that she made. I need a fucking drink.”

You looked over to see Jack typing away on his phone.

“Babe, who are you texting?”

“Dani and Drama and to tell them to leave us the fuck alone. We’re new parents and the last thing we need is added stress caused by the two of them. All because they decided to lie.”

Jack- The two of you have some fucking nerve. You not only lie to me, but more importantly to your FUCKING DAUGHTER. Do us a favor and leave us alone for now. Last thing I want is for my wife to be stressed out because she already has enough to deal with being a new mom. And I better not catch either of you on our doorstep either. Good fucking night. 

Drama- Wait, Jack just let us explain

Dani- We never meant to hurt either of you

Jack- Both of you can fuck off

“I don’t even know who this anonymous source would be because someone obviously had to know since I don’t think they were dumb enough to leak it themselves.” Jack said as you continued to scroll through your phone to see nothing on your timeline but you and your husband.

You clicked on one of the articles and the news was only getting worse.

Danielle had Y/N when she was only fifteen, and her parents decided that they would raise her as her sister. It was also discovered that she was heavily into drugs during her teen years and eventually went to rehab. Our same sources say that DJ Drama had only intended to sign First Lady and not Jack at all until he was convinced by Danielle. However since she was only mostly writing songs at the time for him as well as their best friends, The Homies, he decided to sign Jack first. 

All you did was sigh before you handed Jack your phone. That honestly broke your heart and you immediately knew that Jack was going to feel some type of way about it, just like you were now.

Both of you were talented, but it seemed as if Drama never wanted to be bothered with Jack in the first place.

After Jack had read it, all he did was hand it back to you.

“Look at me.” You whispered while looking over at Jack and he didn’t even budge.

“Jackman, look at me.” You said while grabbing his chin so that he could face you.

“I remember being so excited when you told me he wanted to sign you and that I knew he would see you were talented just like everyone else saw. Do not think or question how amazing you are for a second. You deserved to get signed just as much as anyone else in Gen Now. You understand?”

Jack simply nodded his head, but you knew his thoughts were running rampant by the look on his face and by how quiet he was being.

“I love you.” You said while pinching his cheek and you got a small smirk out of it.

“I love you too, more than life itself.”

“I just don’t understand why people continuously try to fuck with us. We went through enough last year. Oh, boo bear?”

“Yes, mamas?”

“What do we have to do to get out of our contract at Gen Now? We should have just kept the shit just how it was in the beginning. We don’t fucking need him or her for that matter. We have Private Garden Records for a reason. If they want to play checkers, then we’re going to play chess and they’re going to learn not to fuck with us.”

The next few days went by in a blur and you weren’t answering anyone’s text messages or calls except a handful of people.

All of Private Garden was now scattered across your living room since this is the first day that they had seen the both of you since the news broke.

“I always knew something was off with Drama and how he would interact with Y/N.” Urban said as he was playing with Little Urban.

“How so?” Jack asked and everyone was now looking at Urban for an explanation.

“It’s like, I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like whenever she would suggest something or have an idea, he would always agree with her and sometimes he would be on some creepy shit and just be staring at her. I guess he did that because he felt guilty.”

“Ace! Don’t hold her like that! Support her head!” Jack exclaimed while looking over at him and he quickly adjusted his arm so that her head would have more support. 

“Oh shit, my bad! She has your big head in case you didn’t notice!”

“Ace! Like you’re one to talk! Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

“But why did they feel the need to lie? Like this shit was obviously planned since we were in high school.”

“They both seem to have a side of them that we never knew existed.”

“Y/N?” You heard Urban call for you as you looked over at him.

“Yes?”

“You’ve been quiet this entire time. How can we help? You know we always protect our own.”

“I know and I love you guys for that, but I just don’t know right now. Still trying to process everything. My phone has been going off nonstop and I just want to turn it off.”

“And to think you named one of your kids after her.” Quiiso said as Shloob passed him her namesake, Autumn Danielle.

“She had so many opportunities to come clean and just tell me but she didn’t. So why is she trying to explain now? Just because she got caught? I want to be done with my parents too for just letting her string this along for so long.”

“Have you talked to them?”

“No, and I don’t plan on it any time soon. It’s already so bad that whenever we decide to see Jack’s parents, they either have to come here or we’ll go and eat out somewhere. I don’t want to run the risk of seeing them. I get that they did an amazing job raising me because their daughter wasn’t shit, but I mean come on you lied to me just like she did. It seems like I can never catch a break.”

“So, are you two trying to get out of your contract? What’s going on with that?”

“We are, we’re trying to discuss it with our lawyer to see if we can, but who knows. That shit is hard to get out of. But if Drama knows what’s good for him, he’ll let it go.” Jack answered as he went over to pick up Ivy from Ace who was reaching for him. 

“He’s definitely going to put up a fight with how much money he’s made off the both of you.”

“We’ll see when the time comes. For now, all we’re doing is focusing on being parents to these three terrors.”

“Do not call our offspring terrors, Jackman. If anything they got it from you.”

“Are you serious Miss I always choose violence?”

“Take it back, Jackman! You just as violent as I am, you just hide yours better!”

“I… actually agree with that.” Shloob quietly said and you eyed him.

“Oh, so yall don’t want to get fed today is what yall are saying?” You responded.

“SHLOOB, TAKE IT BACK BEFORE WE STARVE!”

—

It was around six in the evening, when you heard a knock at your door. You were currently in the living room and had just finished feeding Autumn when you got up and decided to answer it while still holding her.

Once you did, you immediately regretted it. 

She was the last person that you wanted to see standing in front of you and you already knew if Jack saw her, how he would have no hesitations to cuss her out and give her a piece of his mind.

You had hoped for her sake that he didn’t.

"Please, Y/N, just let me explain." Dani said as she pleaded with you while you wanted to slam the door in her face.

"I thought Jack made himself clear in saying that we want you to stay far away from us. I haven't answered your calls or texts or HIS for a reason." You said as you held your youngest to your chest that of course was her namesake. Now it left a bitter taste in your mouth. 

"I have to explain myself, it will make sense when I do!"

"Make sense? Do you hear yourself right now? How the hell can you make sense of this? You lied to me for 24 years and would have probably kept lying to me if you two didn't get caught. Now as understanding of a person as I am, why did you feel the need to lie to me?"

"I... I don't know. I don't have an answer for that but everything I have done has been for you and Jack."

"No, it hasn't. it's been for you. You have literally been on your Kris Jenner shit and been pimping us out so to speak ever since we were younger."

"When I told you I would do anything for the both of you, I meant it! I wanted to see you both be successful!"

"But this was the wrong way to go about it and YOU KNOW IT. Jack feels as though he didn't get signed to Generation Now because he was talented, but because YOU had a hand in it. Oh, and apparently I also heard that he only got his role in White Men Can't Jump because of you. Otherwise, they were going to pick someone else."

"You two should be fucking thanking me for this."

"I'm not thanking you or THAT MAN for shit. Because we would have still been successful if your ass would have minded your own fucking business."

"YOU ARE MY BUSINESS!"

All you could do was shake your head and look at her in disbelief.

"You really don't see anything wrong in what you did? Do you?"

"I only regret lying to the two of you. But I don't regret doing what I had to do to get you two to this point."

Just then you felt Jack come up behind you, saw Dani and immediately stepped in front of you.

"Babe, go back inside before you both catch a cold." Jack said without taking his eyes off Dani and you went to sit back on the couch in the living room. 

"Jack, please just listen to me and hear me out."

"What, Danielle? What is there to hear out? Don't you think you've done enough? How would you feel if the roles were reversed and she was the one who lied to you?"

"I just... I had to do something to let her know that I loved her and cared about her."

"If you really loved and cared about her like you say you do, you wouldn't have had this go on for so long. No one deserves to get treated like this by their birth mother."

“They took her away from me! She’s MY daughter! Not theirs!” Dani exclaimed as she felt her eyes begin to water. 

“Because last time I checked, your ass was a fucking drug addict. She is their daughter. They took her away from you to keep her safe. Do you even think you deserved having the title of her mother since apparently you cared about getting high more than you did her! And she told me how she found you overdosed when she was six years old and she actually remembers!”

“The only way they would let me see her is if I went to rehab and I did! I relapsed a few times, but I never said I was perfect! I’ve been clean for the past six years.”

“You mean to tell me you only got your shit together ever since we were nineteen? So all that time you were still getting high? I heard cocaine was your drug of choice” Jack curiously asked while looking at her in disbelief.

“Because I needed my plan to work and no one is about to listen to a drug addict in the industry. Everything I fucking did, I did for the two of you. Ever since she told me when she was ten years old she wanted to be a rapper and then when she met you, it sealed the deal. I admit, I have paid off people to get both of you the opportunities I know that you deserve. When Drama told me he was creating his own label, I begged him to sign both of you. I admit he only wanted Y/N, but I pleaded with him to sign you too, because I knew we could mold you and you would be successful.  I have done questionable things, I admit but it’s because I care!”

“NO! IT’S BECAUSE YOU FEEL FUCKING GUILTY FOR LEAVING YOUR PARENTS TO RAISE A CHILD THAT YOU MADE! YOU’RE TRYING TO REDEEM YOURSELF! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK IN YOUR RIGHT MIND THAT MY WIFE IS GOING TO FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS? BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON’T. IF YOU THINK SHE IS FOR A SECOND, THEN THAT GOES TO SHOW YOU DON’T KNOW HER AT ALL.” 

“WHY ARE YOU MAKING IT OUT TO SEEM LIKE I’M A BAD PERSON?! LOOK THE FUCK AROUND ALL THIS SHIT YOU HAVE IS BECAUSE OF ME AND DRAMA!”

“STOP PLAYING THE FUCKING VICTIM AND GET THE FUCK OFF MY DOORSTEP, DANIELLE. ALL THIS SHIT WE HAVE IS BECAUSE WE WORKED FOR IT! AND IF YOU THINK FOR A GOT DAMN MINUTE THAT I AM LETTING YOU ANYWHERE NEAR MY WIFE AND CHILDREN, YOU GOT ANOTHER THING COMING. OH AND YOU CAN TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND, BABY DADDY, WHATEVER THE FUCK HE IS THE SAME THING.”

Without another word, Jack slammed the door in her face and turned around to see you standing there silently with tears streaming down your face.

“Baby…”

“Thank you for that. I… couldn’t have done that even as mad as I am at her. I just… I’m so hurt. She’s everything to me and I worshiped the ground she walked on. In my eyes she could do no wrong. I… I can’t even begin to process how I’m going to heal from this.”

“One step at a time and I’m going to be with you the entire time. Nothing can break us. You already know this.” Jack said as he embraced you and you quickly hugged him back.

“Drama called while you were talking to her.” You quietly said and Jack looked down at you.

“Did you answer it?”

“No. He should know better by now. We don’t want anything to do with either of them. I’ll talk to my parents eventually because they’ve been calling me too but for right now, I just can’t do it.”

“And that’s fine. It’s important to set boundaries, baby.”

“I know, but for now the only thing I want to do is spend time with my husband and babies who right now are all asleep except you.”

“I can think of a few things we could do and it definitely doesn’t involve clothes if you’re up for it.”

“Then what are we waiting for?

—

Jack was annoyed and so were you.

Apparently Drama sent a message on instagram to the both of you about the Gen Now charity event that neither of you could miss since it was required for all artists who are signed under the label to make an appearance. 

The two of you were in Atlanta, and the triplets were now six months old. Jessica and Blanca were on babysitting duties for the entire weekend that you two would be there and then you were flying back on Monday.

“Baby…” You said as Jack was aggressively tying his tie and you simply went over to him to do it yourself.

“He better not say a damn thing to me or you for that matter.”

“Just play nice so we can get this over with and then we can get back to our babies. They’re what’s important.” You said while sniffling as you finished.

“Babe! We’re only going to be gone the weekend and then we’ll be back home! Don’t cry!”

“BUT I MISS THEM!”

“The weekend will be over before you know it and then we’ll get back to being spit up on and shitted on.”

“You didn’t have to add that last part.” You responded while rolling your eyes and slipping on your heels.

“Damn, the way you look right now, we can make baby number four, five, and six.” Jack looked you up and down while wiggling his eyebrows.

“Fuck off, Harlow.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do, but you’re not giving in.”

You simply sighed before walking over to him and kissing him.

“Make this quick and DON’T sweat out my hair.”

When the two of you pulled up to where the event was supposed to be held, you were looking around confused since there weren’t a lot of people or cars outside.

“Uh babe? Are we late?” 

“We can’t be that late, we only had sex twice. I would have gone another round if you didn’t demand that we had to leave! I was perfectly content staying at our house and fucking my wife’s brains out.”

“But we do, so quit it! We have more time for that later!” You responded as the both of you got out of the car, Jack grabbed your hand and began to make your way inside.

“Baby, why is it so quiet? Since when are any events that we do for Gen Now this quiet? This is how horror movies start.” You said as you held his hand tighter and Jack simply laughed at you.

“Just know if you do that damn white girl fall, I am NOT coming back for your ass!”

“YES YOU WOULD! You would not leave me!”

“Shit, that’s what you think.”

The both of you went around the corner to be faced with Dani and Drama and Jack immediately looked around and clenched his jaw.

“There is no fucking event. They lied and did this in an attempt to talk to us.” Jack muttered while looking down at you.

“Baby, play nice. We don’t know that, yet.” You whispered back to him and he simply shook his head.

“Too late and yes we do because that’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“Please don’t be mad, but we had to do this to get you two to talk to us. It has literally been four months. Y/N, we used to talk every day!” Dani said while looking at the two of you.

“Don’t talk to her. And I thought that I made myself fucking crystal clear that I didn’t want either of you near my wife.”

“How long are we going to keep this up for?” Drama asked and you knew that your husband was about to hit the roof. 

“You kept this shit up for almost 25 years so I can keep it going until you’re in your fucking grave. Doesn’t matter to me.” Jack answered and you stifled a laugh. 

“Y/N, just please let us talk this out.”

“No. Because I don’t want to talk to either of you and I probably won’t want to for the rest of my life. Both of you can fuck off. Be happy Danielle that your ass is not tasting concrete right now and I credit myself with going to therapy for that. Because if it was a year ago, you best believe I would have knocked all your fucking teeth out and you know I’m telling the truth.” 

All she did was cross her arms and look at you.

“Didn’t you teach me how to defend myself when I was little? Didn’t think you were going to be on the receiving end of that one day, huh?” You asked and it was now Jack’s turn to stifle a laugh. 

“I did the two of you a favor, all I wanted to do was set my daughter up for the rest of her life. That’s it.”

“You truly got some nerve calling her your daughter when you didn’t even fucking raise her. Neither of you did. You didn’t do us a fucking favor just like I told Danielle, the two of you feel guilty and this is your way of redeeming yourselves and trying to get back in her good graces. Well fucking newsflash, it’s not happening and I don’t know how many times I have to tell you two that. Hurt me all you want, I could care less. But if you come for my wife or my children, I have no hesitation to teach you a lesson and let you know I don’t play that shit. Unlike the two of you, I took my vows seriously as well as my role as a father. Yeah I found out yall were married for a little bit before getting divorced. Didn’t think we knew that, did you?”

“Damn. Double homicide.” You quietly said, but Jack smirked because he heard you.

“What you need to do is to stop being disrespectful towards us. If it wasn’t for us, the two of you wouldn’t have nearly as much as you have.” Drama said and Jack simply scoffed while you muttered ‘oh fuck’ under your breath. 

“It takes giving it to get it in return. And on that note, we’re leaving.”

“Just wait a minute.” Drama said as he went to put a hand on Jack’s shoulder, but Jack quickly turned around and punched him.

“SHIT!” Drama exclaimed, but Jack kept going as you gasped.

“JACK, WHAT THE FUCK?!” Dani yelled and you soon started to pull Jack away.

“Baby, stop!”

“HE FUCKING DESERVES IT!”

“I know he does, but think of our children. Just, please stop. He’s not worth it.” You said while finally pulling his arm away that was an inch away from Drama’s face. 

Jack stood up as you looked to see Drama’s eye starting to swell and he was also sporting a busted lip. 

“I warned the both of you to stay away, but you two obviously don’t know how to listen. Like I said before we’re leaving and the two of you better not pull this shit again. If there actually is an event that we need to be at, tell Neelam and Brandi. We’re done here. Unlike the two of you we’re actually good parents and we need to get back to Louisville to take care of them. Bye now.”

The two of you were now back home and it was around four in the morning. You had just gone to check on the triplets and you were now laying back down next to Jack who was lightly snoring in your ear.

“Jack?”

Silence.

“Jackman?”

“Hmm?”

“I feel as though they aren’t going to stop unless I publicly call them out.”

Now that got his attention as he opened his eyes to look over at you.

“What do you mean, baby?”

“It looks like I’m coming back from my hiatus a little early.”

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, softtcurse, privategarden, theshaderoom, brysontiller, claybornharlow, and 5,093,873 others

y/ninsta: did yall miss me?

all I was trying to do is mind my business, but these bitches got me fucked up. I deserve everything that I muthafuckin have and I'll be damned if someone says something otherwise

PSA: TRUST NO BITCH

p.s. danivalentine and djdrama this shit is for yall. FUCK YOU AND FUCK GENERATION NOW! I DON'T OWE YALL SHIT!

disrespectfully yours,

YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER

jackharlow: let them know Mrs. Harlow 😤

y/ninsta: jackharlow I'm at the corner of fuck around with the Harlows and find out 😤

druski2funny: YOU KILLED THIS SHIT MAMAS! HAPPY YOU'RE BACK!

y/ninsta: druski2funny thank you boo, definitely missed it. this is just the beginning

saweetie: GO BEST FRIEND GOOOOOOO!!!!!

y/ninsta: saweetie stepping on fucking necks. I'm done playing with these bitches

urbanwyatt: both my best friends got to this point because of how talented they both are and nothing else

jackharlow: urbanwyatt REAL ONES KNOW

softtcurse: I'll jump they asses. just say the word

y/ninsta: softtcurse thank you for always having my back

yungskylark: SHE'S BACKKKKKKK!!!!!

y/ninsta: yungskylark LIKE I NEVER LEFT!!!!!

shloob_: THE DROUGHT IS OVER! I REPEAT THE DROUGHT IS OVER!

y/ninsta: shloob_ they NOT ready

privategarden: OUR QUEEN HAS RETURNED!!!!!!

y/ninsta: privategarden villian era loading

quiiso: FUCK IT UPPPP!

y/ninsta: I need a milkshake after that!

blancaaahood: uh oh. they got my girl mad now. rest in peace in advance

claybornharlow: little baby approved!

y/ninsta: claybornharlow thank you for producing this. love you.

jessicakelce: you got another thing coming to even think you can fuck my girl over and get away with it smh

theestallion: they need to stop playing with my girl. we got your back baby!

lilnasx: one thing I am NEVER going to understand is why you gonna go and piss off the first lady. damn it's quadruple homicide at this point

y/ninsta: lilnasx and they asses learned the hard way

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[lilacxquartz]

Those Late Summer Nights | Chapter 7

Satoru Gojo × Fem! Reader × Suguru Geto

This is a dark/yandere fic that features upsetting themes and it is canon divergent. Updated every Wednesday.

ABOUT: You moved to Tokyo over the summer to take a teaching job. As you get settled in, you find yourself entangled in a toxic dynamic.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Satoru teaches you to tolerate a place you dislike.

TRIGGER WARNING: Unaware reader while Satoru does something he really shouldn’t.

Previous Chapter.

7. Starry Skies

There was just a little extra something humiliating about being back in your old bedroom at your old house again; these four walls that were once both your comfort but also your prison had been left perfectly untouched with the help of your mother preserving it just as you had left it—a space locked in time, a haunting reminder of who you once were.

You grew uncomfortable at such a prospect as it was likely going to continue down that road for many more years to come, with or without your friends to help you through each and every single visit.

This room in particular once housed the person you didn’t want to be, after all, providing you a temporary shell for you to hermit inside of whenever you made your bed in it; you weren’t her anymore, but also you were her at some point.

Your eyes squeezed shut as you tried succumbing to sleep to quickly pass this whole thing by, but you were used to much later bedtimes by now and we’re left staring off into the dark as slumber failed to take you under. The clock barely hit 9 in the night and you were left lying wide awake feeling restless and frustrated.

It was then that you reached for your phone, knowing that pretty much everyone else would be up at least. The texts did take their sweet time to deliver though; the spotty reception driving you just a little over the edge, making you more irritable than you had to be.

It was something about this place, that was the reason why, you were sure of it.

Shoko was the first priority in your texting queue, updating her with just about everything that had happened so far as she continued to approve of how Satoru was behaving, assuring you that he knows his stuff when it comes to unfair parents and that you have nothing to worry about.

It was a lighthearted moment of checking in, her texts half mocking you ‘goodnight’ as she had to continue to study while reminding you of the plum wine.

Suguru was next in queue, just to see if he was still going through whatever it was that made him feel so distant but he never replied. He always had his phone on him so you felt a little more hurt than usual knowing that he likely read your message but never bothered to reply.

Satoru was the next in line either way as you were a little concerned as to how he was holding up in the guest house but just as you typed something out to him, he got to you first.

“Your parents turned their lights off, let’s sneak out~?”

You stared at the screen as you laughed quietly at the idea, quickly feeling your worries evaporate—he was fine, of course he was fine. Staring at the text a little more, you also considered the idea. Your parents usually fell asleep quickly and you weren’t tired at all, so it would be nice to get away from this place for a while.

“Is it really sneaking out if it’s my own home and If I’m an adult?” you asked, sending a text back. You were twenty-two now, bordering twenty-three; a young adult at this point, but one either way.

“It is if it gets you into trouble,” he replied.

You gently scoffed as you realised the depressing reality of how it actually was. You likely would get into trouble because you still had to walk on eggshells around your own family even now, which made it all seem even bleaker.

Wanting to go against the system, you accepted his offer, wanting for things to go down a different route for a change if you could help it and as such, you told him that you’d be down in five and to meet you at the front of the house.

You then quietly left through the front door and met with Satoru in the driveway who quietly greeted you with a smile, suppressing his voice for now so as to not get you in trouble, a notion that he personally thought was a little amusing.

Together, the two of you walked side by side as your shoulders unintentionally slouched, feeling some strange discomfort from existing within town once again.

It was the shell of your former self manifesting who you once were, showing Satoru a side of you that he was aware of but one that you’d rather he didn’t know.

A side of you that felt just a little watched, a little judged in everything that you did.

He responded to your sunken body language with a pat on your back with some slight force in his hand, hoping to both straighten your posture as well as to snap you out of whatever it was you were going through.

“You know, I miss that girl that I got to know in the city,” he said as he looked up into the night sky, his eyes taking in the many stars blanketing over town, “you’re not really yourself out here, are you?”

You gulped as you listened to him talk, finding that his words were oddly profound for who he was and couldn’t form a proper response, at least not right away. Other parts of the question felt a little like a pick up line but you did your best to not overthink it, knowing that his personality was flirty by default and that it wasn’t personal even if he did mean it that way.

The walk led you to a nearby park where the lights were still shining bright under the lampposts scattered throughout, the two of you settling on a bench near the entrance. Some low grade cursed spirits loitered in the shadows further into the park, but neither of you cared enough to exorcise those.

The night sky was exceptionally beautiful tonight, completely devoid of clouds as a crescent moon smiled over the world; clusters of stars freckling around the dark canvas.

“I miss views like this back in the city. Even further out where it’s quiet, it’s never really exactly like this,” Satoru said after a while.

“Yeah, it’s the only thing I ended up really missing when I moved to Tokyo,” you replied in agreement.

Something about this whole thing felt strangely intimate, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. It wasn’t generating as much tension as it had done so when you were alone with Suguru, but something was brewing that you couldn’t quite understand.

Regardless, you didn’t want it to go another wrong direction though so you kept your hands and body language to yourself.

Keeping your friends as friends was more important, you thought.

“So, there’s really nothing else out here?” Satoru asked.

“Well, that depends on how you look at it,” you considered, trying your best to not be completely negative, “there’s the night views, the nature and the clean air which is good for some people.”

“But not for you,” he speculated.

“I guess not.”

“There’s no shame in this place just being somewhere you had to live in, you know. You shouldn’t let it define you.” He said after a while, trying to help you feel better about being here while also trying to ease you into becoming more vulnerable so he could potentially chance a move on you.

“I mean… it’s easier said than done,” you replied as you let his words fester in your mind, talking a touch more spontaneously as your emotions stirred, “maybe you don’t get it because you were told that you were special your entire life-“

Wait. Oops.

You froze as you realised exactly what you had just said and just how terribly it was worded.

Satoru noticed this and didn’t even flinch nor did his demeanour change a single bit. He didn’t mind such sudden bluntness from you, in fact, he found it refreshing that you were capable of speaking your mind under the right conditions.

“It’s alright—you’re alright,” he laughed a little as he found himself momentarily stunned, “you’re right about that much.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that,” you continued to blabber despite his attempts to talk you down from your spiralling unease.

“I just wanted to say that you’re not that ordinary either, even if you were told it,” he continued to explain without dwelling on what you hit him with, “you have something that a lot of people can’t even comprehend having.”

Sighing, you finally forced yourself to face the conversation.

“I know, but, I just feel like if I didn’t have anything going on then maybe I would actually have a chance to be normal.”

“But where’s the fun in that, [name]?” Satoru replied, scoffing just a little as though jokingly offended, “you could have had a boring normal life in a small town, yeah, but that’s all you would have done in your life.”

“And is that so bad…?”

“When you’re comparing it to what you have, I’d say so?” he asked as countered your question with one of his own, he didn’t show it but he was a little frustrated at how little credit you gave yourself, “your past here was a blip at best and all I’m getting at here is that you shouldn’t let it define you.”

“It’s just easier said than done,” you sighed, although you did agree with him. This topic was difficult to discuss, but it felt freeing to face a troubling truth.

Silence followed beyond that point, leaving you wondering if there was something wrong with you that drained the life from those around you given just how quiet people were.

In reality, or at least for Satoru’s case, it was that he felt comfortable enough to finally continue making a move on you despite the fact that he was starting to slowly become conflicted with doing so.

You were vulnerable as you had finally opened up to him in a way he was certain that you hadn’t to others before, but it didn’t feel right to do so completely.

Still, he chose to lean in for a kiss that managed to catch you so off guard that you immediately pulled away, wondering why this was happening a second time—hoping that you actually weren’t doing anything to lead anyone on without realising it.

Satoru pulled back too as he maintained his unserious expression, choosing to not present himself as offended even if the rejection did throw him off, even just a little. He quickly laughed it off either way, having a new idea in mind to ease you into giving in.

“My mistake, [name],” he smiled as he continued to stare into yours, “I thought we were supposed to be selling a lie up here.”

“I-I guess so but it feels too real-“

“—Just this once?” Satoru asked as he cut you off, not giving you room to think, “maybe with some luck someone will see.”

That was exactly what worried you, that someone from town would see you kissing him despite it already being so late into night—at least for this place. You knew that just from looking at Satoru that this was his attempt at something, but you didn’t want it to go down that road at all.

“Just think of it this way, if we have to sell it around your parents later, it’ll be easier to do,” he said as he continued to warm you up to the idea.

Your own bruised persona that existed within this town tried to justify it for you internally, telling you that this would be your chance at appearing normal for a change as your body slowly ended up leaning into the kiss, after all.

It wasn’t so bad as your lips finally connected, but you didn’t really feel anything at all as it all unfolded.

Maybe he was actually just playing you to see how easily you played into his cards, but you couldn’t deny that you were curious—at least a little, just to see what it was like to lock lips with someone else.

Satoru then pulled back after a moment had passed too, sensing your discomfort, not wanting to push you over your limit, at least not yet.

He could tell that it was your first kiss, but that just helped him savour it all the better.

***

It was a quiet walk back to the house and just as you were about to re-enter the front door, Satoru pulled you off into the garden along with him as an attempt to convince you that you would probably feel less bad if you spent the night with him than entirely alone.

“Please?” he playfully begged you, “don’t make me spend the night in there all alone.”

“It’s just for two nights though-“

“—Unless you want me to sneak up to your room~?”

Such an idea even if he was joking left you feeling a little mortified as the colour drained from your face. There was absolutely zero chance that he was going to see that side of you, so you reluctantly gave into the offer of a sleepover instead.

Even if he did steal a kiss from you, there was something about his entire being that made him seem somehow more trustworthy than Suguru to you.

Maybe it was the fact that he was open about it?

“Trust me, [name],” he continued to say as he tugged your wrist off to the guest house, “if we’re supposed to be together anyway, it wouldn’t even be that weird to be seen with me in the morning.”

“But my parents-“

“—They were young too at some point, trust me, they’ll get it.”

You understood that part fully well but you still felt a bit off about the whole thing. Sneaking out was one thing, being seen leaving the guest house with him was another due to the implications alone. You wanted to sell the lie too, but it was starting to feel all too real again and you didn’t want for him to get the wrong idea about just how much you were allowing him to get away with.

“Just to sleep, nothing more-“

“—Just to keep up appearances,” he assured you while smiling, “it smells in here, don’t make me suffer through that alone.”

You stared at him for a little longer, sighing as you continued to give into the idea; his smile growing wider as he watched you accept such a proposal.

“I won’t do anything,” he added along, “we’ll just sleep, yeah?”

You nodded as your mind quietly crumbled internally at the prospect of sharing a bed with a guy, so when you both got into bed together you made a conscious effort to stay at the edge of the bed while he read into your body language, backing himself up against the wall.

The bed was surely small though and such crowdedness radiated a heat between the two of you despite not touching each other at all.

The summer heat continued to fester and as a result, he slowly dressed down albeit to a respectable degree and you soon gave into surrendering your top for the camisole beneath, still keeping your bottoms on, just to make sleep even a little bearable.

Falling asleep within his shadow felt strange initially but the exhaustion quickly swept over you. He wasn’t being weird to you as you had initially feared and as such, you were successfully lulled into a false sense of security around him.

So by the time you were fast asleep, you didn’t even notice as he slowly crept ever so slightly closer to you, intending to brush it off as nighttime habits if you were to wake up from his advancement.

…But you never did.

He then attempted to close the distance between you even more as he pressed himself up ever so slightly against your back, feeling himself grow excited as he did so—a consequence of his own selfish thoughts.

Although, you did pull away subconsciously as the heat became overwhelming which prompted him to stop for a moment, thinking about how exactly to go through this, or if he should even do so at all.

The conflicting feeling came back again and he was beginning to feel strange in how he was treating you but at least for now, the arousal clouded his thoughts on the matter as he continued onwards.

Continuing, he pulled down his shorts even further while backing off a little. His semi-hard cock pitched slightly against his boxers as he did his best to keep it subtle enough, shuffling closer against your back without waking you up or bothering you.

Just to feel how you felt against himself, he wouldn’t go beyond that point.

You couldn’t feel him at all in your deep sleep regardless, your mind not even registering the fact that his tip pressed ever so slightly against the small of your back. He wanted to keep you close which is why he didn’t go further, making sure to act at least somewhat rationally so that he wouldn’t do anything he’d regret.

It surely did take him a good while until he broke away from you though, settling flat against his back instead as frustration enveloped him. He took care of himself at his own hand instead, the bed slightly shaking as he did so but never once breaking you away from slumber, finishing off into his shorts that he then threw off to the side.

Satoru sighed deep as he forced himself to behave around you, convincing himself that you’d ease into it another day—just not today, but maybe at another time.

It was because he liked you that he kept a boundary to begin with.

It was because he liked you that he didn’t want to hurt you.

(Unless you gave him a reason to.)

He surely wouldn’t.

…Would he?

Next Chapter.

[crystallizedday]

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION FOR THE DOAI CD AU IS OUTDATED. I WILL POST AN UPDATED VERSION EVENTUALLY

When I feel like it

& can properly flesh shit out

You’ll see it eventually.

FUCK YEAH!!

WRITING HEADCANONS FOR HORRIFYING MAN-EATING MONSTERS!! LETS GOOOOOO!!

I got this idea cause I knew I’d clutter up the og DOAI CD AU post if I just added all these goofy ahh headcanons into THAT post, so here we are.

Anyway uhhhh

Let’s go.

General shit:

• All six Veldigun go by their canon pronouns that have been confirmed in a recent Pastra stream. Clyde goes by it/its, Winfrey goes by they/them; Klaus goes by he/him, Jack goes by they/them, Simon goes by he/him, & Flock goes by it/its

• Veldiguns CAN eat actual foods, but they don’t gain anything from it. They’re void creatures, so that shit just gets obliterated from reality the moment it gets consumed. They do so just cause they enjoy the taste of whatever they eat… MOSTLY Clyde & Winfrey. The other four don’t really do that nearly as often, if at all.

• Mind consumption works like… reading through a book. You skim through it, you get a general rough idea of the entire thing, shit like that. The Veldigun don’t ever LET the minds of others warp them unless they ALLOW them to, i.e. gaining a certain impression upon skimming through the memories of a person they just consumed.

• All Veldigun actually look SO MUCH more grotesque & animalistic than they appear to humans most of the time. Their more cutesy cartoon appearance is just a result of them causing hallucinations, which is almost always unconsciously done by them.

• A Veldigun’s touch is only lethal if they WISH it to be so. It is a manual tactic that they can control, just as long as they aren’t accidentally spooked or something.

• Veldigun still sleep, just a lil less frequently than humans do. Some Veldigun definitely sleep more than others, but this is more so based on some of them choosing to continue hunting & shit instead of sleeping rather than it being for a specific biological reason.

• Yes. Clyde & Winfrey are canonically a ✨thing✨ in this AU & have been for quite a while by the time Winfrey got captured. They are very much gay & in love & you cannot stop me.

• The overall timeline for the series is a LOT more spread out than it was in the old DOAI lore. For instance…

- Clyde Lankmann, the first human Clyde the Veldigun consumed, was the man who started the Lankmann Foundation & died during the late 1800s. He wasn’t the first to die though as a “good friend” of his, William Winfrey, was tricked into walking right into one of the Veldigun’s clutches by Lankmann himself to be rid of the bothersome musician.

- Simon Lankmann died in the early 1900s after he cut ties with the Lankmann family altogether & started a family on a rather secluded farm (the whole family later being consumed by Simon the Veldigun).

-Klaus Kruger was a young man who died in the mid 1900s. The Krugers & Lankmanns were actually part of the same family tree at this point, with Klaus finding interest in the Lankmann family business. This interest led to them stumbling across Jack Walker, an incredibly impressionable boy who Klaus used as his puppet the second he laid eyes on the poor guy. The two would get up to all sorts of trouble regarding drugs & even murdering a few people, with Klaus in particular genuinely showing a sense of excitement over their wrongdoings.

- “Vincent” Lankmann is the most RECENT Lankmann to date in the timeline. He is around 50 years old when the AU takes place (aka the late 1990s) & is looking to find out how to kill a Veldigun so he can do the one thing his many predecessors before him could not: outsmart them.

Clyde:

• Clyde prefers to munch on fruits or fruit-flavored shit. Lemons are its favorite by far.

• Alternatively, Clyde HATES anything that even REMOTELY smells like garlic & onions, much like actual cats & lizards. Having them on hand won’t save a victim from Clyde, but it’ll at least force it to get crafty with catching you off guard or getting rid of that PUTRID smell first.

• It’s often seen having a rather bouncy & giddy personality, but this is because this is just what the lil goofball’s like around Winfrey or when indulging in its hobbies. Bro’s a lil shit around other people, ESPECIALLY ones that it doesn’t particularly like. It sort of acts rather emotionless or awkward around people it doesn’t know (who are not prey) by default.

• Despite that fact, Clyde has a LIL bit of an ego that tends to show from time to time, especially over its own crafts & actions. Because of this, it is a LOT more susceptible to getting embarrassed or self defensive than its partner, & will often hold quite a few grudges, sometimes for even the smallest of things.

• Clyde uses a lot of its free time to learn certain skills such as sewing & baking. Why? For Winfrey. Clyde was the one to make Winfrey’s outfit after all, & it quite enjoys making outfits for the both of them now that it’s gotten into the habit of doing so. As much as Clyde loves getting into a ton of different hobbies to keep itself doing shit constantly, they’re MOST of the time going to have something to do with Winfrey. Call Clyde a malewife & I will send the horde to fetch your soul for me WIWOWKWOWKDOOSKFKEEKKR

• It may be… not great at singing, but it still loves singing along with Winfrey whenever it can. Winfrey finds it adorable.

• Ever since it stole that one onesie from Grimmso’s & rescued Winfrey, it’s developed quite the interest for dressing up. Sure, not everything fits perfectly, but it enjoys trying on different outfits just for the heck of it.

• Since a lot of human clothes can already fit Clyde already, most of its outfit-making work is focused solely on Winfrey, making them into a bit of a fashion model for the lil guy. Winfrey may not always agree with whatever Clyde makes, but they both enjoy the process of it nonetheless since Clyde finds it really fun & Winfrey finds it incredibly adorable.

• Clyde is a crafty lil genius that often flexes its intelligence via petty means, such as overly elaborate pranks (that are often aimed at Klaus).

• Clyde despises Klaus due to Klaus just overall being a jerk towards everyone & despises Simon due to how much of a doormat it perceives the guy as.

• Despite being on the run from the entire continent, Clyde still likes to find certain cool places for it & Winfrey to hang out & have some fun at, such as abandoned or empty amusement parks, malls, all that jazz.

• There’s just something about collecting tiny lil trinkets & gizmos & other various Doo dads that delights Clyde. If it’s small & pretty, it’s most definitely going to grab the lil guy’s attention. Captain Quackers the rubber duck was one of these things of course, but Clyde has collected SO MANY other colorful & cute lil things in the past, some of which it has to leave behind since its collection will often get too much to move from place to place.

• Clyde is extremely intelligent when it comes to strategy & crafting… but lacks a bit of emotional & social awareness that makes it hard for the poor thing to empathize with anyone it is not super close to (aka if they’re not Winfrey) as well as properly understanding & handling its own emotions, which is one of the few things Winfrey has a leg up on it with.

• It ADORES rambling on about all sorts of topics they have a fascination with, especially regarding their knack for crafting. Even so, it’s only ever comfortable info-dumping to Winfrey.

I feel like giving y’all a cute nugget of info about the CD AU.

Winfrey:

• Winfrey has a HUGE sweet tooth & enjoys sugary things & baked goods. They can’t choose a favorite, but some of their favorite foods & drinks are cookies, chocolate candy bars, toffee, cupcakes, and hot chocolate. Overall, they prefer bite-sized treats rather than full-blown desserts, but they’ll take what they can get.

• Their spice tolerance is… well, horrible. Even smelling it makes them wanna gag. Unlike Clyde, having something spicy on hand will MOST LIKELY actually save you since Winfrey is nowhere near as crafty & clever like Clyde is. You could probably chase the big guy around with a chili pepper if you feel daring, but I personally wouldn’t recommend it… not just cause you’ll most likely die regardless, but also because that’s cruel & you shouldn’t be scaring poor Winnie like that. How fuckin DARE you??

• Despite being a bit of a dimwit, they ADORE music, especially orchestral or classical music. If they hear a famous century old song play in one way or another, you BET your ass Winfrey’s gonna identify that shit INSTANTLY. This stays even after being traumatized by Lankmann, which is something Clyde both finds adorable & is relieved by.

• Winfrey also admires more complex and intricate outfits, & would be THRILLED to wear something quite dapper if it wasn’t for the fact that… well… they’re fuckin HUGE. Clyde still tries its best to make the big guy look as nice as it possibly can though, & that’s good enough for Winfrey. JWOWKSKWKDKEKEO

• Winfrey’s mouth wasn’t ALWAYS closed like that. The only reason it’s currently a blank slate by default is because Winfrey did that to themselves back when Lankmann had JUST captured them & started interrogating them regarding Clyde’s whereabouts. Beeg guy thought they could give Lankmann the permanent silent treatment, but it didn’t turn out so well for them JAOWDKWOFKWOOD

• Even though they no longer have the bouncy personality they used to, they still get excited & bubbly every now & again, particularly when they & Clyde find a fun place to mess around in or when they get to talk about music… just in general KWOWMDOWKDK

• Winfrey is a lot more open to being social than Clyde, particularly due to their old fascination with humans & their culture. Even after what happened at the asylum, they don’t find it hard at all to empathize with others, sometimes even to an excessive degree. Even so, they are definitely more so a listener rather than a speaker & will rarely ever initiate the conversation.

• They can easily tear open their mouth to speak without feeling an ounce of pain. They can do this due to how their skin isn’t ENTIRELY solid & is still very much composed of classic veldigoop. This goopiness is mainly apparent for the skin that covers their mouth while the rest of the body is decently solid & hard to tear. This is also why Winfrey’s face-skin can easily and flawlessly reconnect after Winfrey is done talking: that shit can just mold back together into one solid piece like putting two chunks of slime together.

• Winfrey enjoys hearing Clyde ramble, no matter the topic at hand. Rarely do they ever understand a lick of what Clyde’s talking about, but they just like hearing Clyde so passionate & excited about something. That & its nerdy rambles are just adorable to listen to IWNWOWKWOWNEOWM

Didn’t know which of the two’s lil categories to put this in, so uh…

I’m putting this as it’s own separate point.

Whenever they can, Clyde & Winfrey like to hop on a train to get around.

Something about trains strangely comforts Clyde, & it almost ALWAYS falls asleep as soon as the two can find their way into a fairly empty & unattended train car to crash in.

Winfrey really enjoys the view they get to see on a moving train, especially during sunset.

Klaus:

• He & Jack actually spend a lot of time in America rather than Canada like the rest of the Veldigun.

• Klaus’ methods for murdering his victims (solo) often has to do with them either luring or simply picking children off the streets. He may enjoy using Jack to finish the job, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they ALWAYS have Jack do it.

• Klaus is ALL business, meaning he & Jack don’t do ANY of the cutesy fun shit that Clyde & Winfrey do. Hell, Klaus finds that shit repulsive. All Klaus & Jack do is kill & try not to get hunted down by the entire continent by moving from place to place CONSTANTLY.

• Despite him being all business… come on, that rat bastard’s definitely tried a cigar at least ONCE at some point. LOOK at them.

Jack:

• Jack sees themselves as just Klaus’ sidekick rather than his equal, obviously thanks to Klaus himself. Because of this, they have VERY little self worth & feels that abandoning Klaus for whatever reason would leave Jack with nothing.

• They never openly admit or display their own opinions on ANYTHING, ALWAYS agreeing with what Klaus says, even if they internally don’t agree in the slightest.

• Jack is actually jealous of Clyde & Winfrey with how strong their relationship is. Klaus may hate the two for being mushy & annoying, but Jack hates them because they can’t stand seeing the two doing much better & being far happier than Jack is.

• For killing, they are usually (in their box form) carefully placed in specific situations where Klaus knows there won’t be any unnecessary witnesses that they can’t catch. Once they’re confident their victim(a) are close enough that they can’t get away, Jack springs into action, preferring to chomp down on the victim’s skull or one of their limbs to incapacitate them so Klaus can come in & either watch them slowly pass or finish the job himself.

• Jack is NOT sadistic like Klaus is, but does not mind killing either because they just see it as a norm at this point. Like… yeah, they’re bummed they can’t eat what they hunt half the time, but it’s just how life do be, so they just roll with it.

• Jack can imitate a plethora of noises, particularly more industrial & mechanical sounding noises such as radio static or *metal pipe sound effect* JWOWKDOWKDOEFK

• They do not eat real food too often, but when they do, they prefer pizza. Doesn’t matter what’s on it.

Simon:

• Even though he never really talk when on his own or with the Flock, he CAN talk. He even happily welcomes any visitors that stop by if they ever catch on that he’s alive.

• Since be chooses to stay at the same farm that Simon Lankmann lived, he doesn’t get much word on what’s happening with the other Veldigun or… just anything in general unless he’s directly told shit by someone else.

• He can sympathize with pretty much ALL the other Veldigun (some more than others… Klaus being at the very bottom of that list for good reason) & do not resent them for continuing to consume the minds of people. He’ll still try to persuade them otherwise, but he’s still pretty accepting of all of them (except for Klaus). He definitely feels bad for Jack the most, always encouraging the big guy to come visit more often but Jack rarely ever takes the deal, fearing what Klaus would do if he ever found out about it.

• He enjoys the taste of corn, which he likes to share with the Flock as well… who will just down the whole ear. Overall, Simon loves any kind of edible vegetation.

• Only VERY FEW have seen what he looks like UNDER the cloth… & you, the reader, are not one of em, so I’m not describing what they look like to you. >:))))))))))

The Flock

• It’s not the brightest, but it can recognize a friendly face from a threat & will act accordingly. For instance, if it knows you’re a friend, it is GOING to demand pets. It’s inevitable. If you are an asshole doing asshole things, it’s going to peck at your head until you fuckin beat it.

• It enjoys eating corn, but it untimately prefers slices of bread. Why? Cause in the off chance that it gets spotted & acts cute enough, there’s gonna be some poor saps who feed it bread every now & again & give the big guy attention, & the Flock LOVES that. It loves receiving bread from kind strangers who don’t know any better. Popcorn also suffices.

• It has the ability to mimic noises like Jack can, but instead of anything industrial, it’s particularly animal noises as well as SOME human phrases, even if it doesn’t actually mean the phrases it sometimes says. So yes, you CAN teach the Flock to say “Fuck”, but Simon isn’t going to be too happy about it. NWIWKDOWOKDM

Lankmann

•

•

•

•

• Linda didn’t NEED to die. He could’ve just let Clyde be contained & gotten all the information he needed to kill these things for good. But he didn’t. Someone was getting too close to the truth, someone he couldn’t just make “disappear”. He needed a way to cover his tracks & be rid of the evidence. It just so happened that Clyde came at QUITE the opportune time. Linda wasn’t that talented of a doctor anyway. No one was going to miss her.

Zamn.

Anyway, I might update this if I think of more headcanons to add in the future, but this is all for now! Thanks for reading!

:)

[courtingchaos]

Rent the Space Inside My Mind

1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Summary: Man, remember that picture you found? I wonder how you two decide to deal with that little hiccup...

A/N: I've finally come to the realization that this little fic is a labor of love for me. It's my baby so it isn't ever really going to have a real updating schedule. All of that to say, thank you for sticking around and reading you guys! Not a spoiler but just so you know, the end kind of reads like An End, but I have a lot more planned for theses two. This is just like, and end to the pining.

Also, I know others are reading this, but I'm giving a whole shoutout to @fracturedarkness who has been the best cheerleader for me with this story from essentially day one. Literally a ray of sunshine 😘😘😘

(If y'all want a soundtrack at all, just listen to Hozier's Wasteland! Baby. Seriously it's basically all I listened to.)

Warnings: SMUT! There's smut! Halleluiah! 18+ NSFW Minors GTFO

In sixth grade Eddie had caught mono. It was the first serious illness that Wayne had to deal with since taking guardianship four years earlier. Eddie had moaned around the trailer for two weeks, unable to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time. He’d been exhausted and couldn’t swallow right. The fever he’d get at night made him nauseous those first few days and that’s the only thing he can compare this sick twist in his gut to. 

Between the picture clutched in your fingers and the intense look on your face, Eddie thinks he might just turn inside out. 

“Ed?”

It sounds like an accusation in his ears. You’ve found him out, evidence catching the light where it waves around between the two of you. Forget trying to tell you his feelings, he’s got a date with  buckshot later. 

He takes it back actually, this feels the same as the day you accidentally met his dad. The sudden visit on a rare stint between prison stays. The lead weight of fear and sadness and pure fucking rage making him go cold and numb.

Eddie is so tired of shit going wrong in his life. 

“Eddie?” How do you sound so soft when he has clearly screwed up so bad?

Also, he went for one shower after making a stupid mess and you decided to what, go through his shit?

Don’t start 

There’s a black mood he gets in sometimes. It creeps up his insides, stains him dark. It makes him mean and he doesn’t want to be mean, not to you. Not to anyone really. 

He knows on a deeper level this is his fault, it was only a matter of time before you found the picture. Tucked in books and forgotten in his sheets he’s honestly surprised it’s taken this long.  

“Eddie!” The sharpness of his name jerks his head out of the haze he’s in. Sees your eyes clearly and you’re not mad, in fact he thinks that might be a smile hidden under all the confusion. 

“Where did you get this?” Even and calm. Could you lend him some of that? His throat clicks when he tries to swallow. 

“I think uh, I think I took it. On ha-Halloween. Last year.” He doesn’t recognize his own voice, the deep scratch of it. “We were drunk at Hagan’s. I don’t know wh-“

“You took this?” Another wiggle of the polaroid. Your grip on the box of weed is still white knuckled. Okay, maybe that wasn’t a smile. He can’t really tell anymore, the panic settling in firing off all his alarm bells. 

“You weren’t supposed to find it.” He’s so quiet, hasn’t been quiet like this in a long time. Wasn’t even this quiet sneaking into bedrooms. 

You take a step forward and he launches back. Head hits the door frame and if god is real he would let the paneling swallow him whole right now. 

“Why do you have this? Why all the-” you gesture behind you, “why all my shit? You told me you hadn’t seen my Theo figure anywhere and she’s in the drawer with all my shit!” Your voice gets tight, face scrunching up in complete confusion. “I thought I was loosing my stuff but you’re just stealing all of it! My zippo! Eddie what the fuck?!” No, right, there’s the anger. He’s pressed so firmly against the door jam it’s guaranteed to leave marks for a week. You take another step forward and he has nowhere to go, pinned under your scrutiny and words and the waving hand holding his shame. But where your voice was rising in anger, it drops suddenly, slides into something softer. “Why do you have this?”

Yeah Eddie, why do you have it?

It’s a total accumulation of, let’s be real, two years of unrepentant pining. Two years of being a dick and going after easy girls because you were off limits in his own doctrine. Too good a friend to ruin the relationship, and too good a person to ruin with himself. It’s nights spent at the bookstore waiting for you to get off, watching with a burning in his gut as the dipshit college guy you work with tries to edge his way into a date. Blunts and cigarettes shared like kisses between lips he isn’t allowed to taste otherwise. It’s the grappling like two idiots fighting, breathless giggles and rough shoves that end in headlock hugs and usually him tapping out first, unable to stand being in your embrace if it isn’t for keeps. 

“I…” the space in his room is somehow bigger than it’s ever been, leaving him adrift in the chaos of his things and your things and the too thin air that you’re somehow breathing in just fine. There’s a stutter in his chest where he’s not catching his breath, the familiar heat behind his eyes where the tears are trying to rush forward. “It’s just-fuck! It’s such a creep…move I know and I just didn’t want to l-let it go because it was a good night and-and a good picture and your hand…” he’d dropped his eyes to stare at your feet, unable to say his half-assed explanation to your face. “Your hand. On my leg.” Just a whisper. Swings his hand limply toward you. “I just, it was a nice thought.”  His throat is tight and he’s afraid if you keep looking at him he might cry. 

He’s watched you take enough steps forward so you’re practically toe to toe with him. In his peripheral he watches you toss the box behind you onto the bed, your other clutching the evidence lightly taps against his chest and rests there. 

He looks up through his lashes and his hair, keeping his sight obscured like it’ll protect him from whatever you’re about to say. 

“I can’t believe-“ you cut off with a laugh and a shake of your head, that small smile he thought he saw turning back up. “I feel so fucking stupid.”

Eddie’s stomach has disappeared along with the rest of his insides. There’s never been a real foundation of proof for him, just stolen glances he’s caught you in. That lingering look you’d give him, the way you’d hang onto him longer during a hug sometimes. Mostly just blind hope and his own low simmering ego to egg him on. 

“Do you want to know what I did this morning?” He nods, he really does want to know. There’s the smallest drip of warmth trickling down his back with your words. 

“I woke up and I thought about you. First thought of the day.” A deep breath and he can see the pink blooming up out of the collar of his shirt you’re wearing. “I thought about you and I felt so stupid after, for sitting in the dark and pretending that you’d ever-“ You stop yourself again and drop your eyes to stare at your hand on his chest. 

“You thought about me?” He asks and you nod slowly. He’s got an idea about what that might mean. “Do you maybe also have a secret polaroid?”

A break in the tension and you take a step back, laughing. A real one he knows, warm and happy. The photo hits him in the chest where your hand just was, where you’ve just flicked it at him. “How long Eddie?” 

“What?” He grabs for the photo but it flutters to the ground. 

“How long have you liked me?” Your wide eyes and breathless question challenge him. When he doesn’t respond fast enough for you, you reach out and push his bangs away from his face, smoothing them back. His wispy armor is gone and with it, surprisingly, some of his fear. Your eyes are clear and waiting, smile still pulling at your lips. 

“I don’t, I don’t have like, a date. Like, a-awhile.” Eddie stutters like he’s never spoken these words before. Nerves replacing fear when it starts to finally dawn on him: this isn’t going to end in flames.

The hand at his forehead slides down and rests on his cheek. He hasn’t taken a full breath in since you pushed his hair back, never mind now that your cradling his face, but the fear has been slowly melting off his shoulders while you’ve been staring at him and when your eyes trail down his face, it and the sudden nerves all just disappear. 

He feels your fingers flex along his jaw and he finally takes that breath. 

“I’m not reading this wrong am I?” Barely a whisper but he hears you. Shakes his head and opens his mouth to talk but you cut him off, just as quiet, “I don’t want us to make a mistake.” 

“You think this’d be mistake?” The hurt leaks through without his meaning to. 

“God no, Eddie I-“

There’s a bloom of confidence he hasn’t felt before, something that twist up through his ribs and around his spine. “Good.” 

Reaching out for you feels natural. He’s reached out to you a hundred times before but he’s never slid his hands into your hair. Tucked them up behind your ears and pulled you in close, felt you gasp when he brushes his lips against yours. Your hands pull at his shirt where they’re both fisted in the thin material, keeping him close. When you push into him he feels your mouth open, tongue grazing along his bottom lip; white static across his thoughts. 

It’s 10pm on a Thursday night and your kissing him in his room. Wearing his t-shirt and pushing him against the wall while your kissing him. He feels one of your hands flatten against his chest and his heart rockets off and your still kissing him. There’s your tongue again begging entrance and he yields, feels that barbell slide across his own tongue and he’s done for. It’s better than he could ever fantasize. He wants more of it but you just aren’t close enough. He grips at your hair to pull you in, to try and deepen the kiss but there’s no where else to go. You mumble something against his lips but he just swallows the sound and slides a hand down your back till he can get his fingers up under the hem of the shirt, palm laid flat against the small of your back. 

“Eddie.” You sigh his name and he makes it a personal goal right then to get you to do it again. Your hands wander down his chest and he starts his own wandering down your neck, lips finding any open skin he can kiss. “Hold on, Eddie-“

“I’m not holding on for shit.” He says in between kisses. “I’ve been thinking about doing this for months.” Your laugh vibrates under his mouth and it makes his eyes roll. “Do you want me to stop?” He pauses under your ear, panting against you. 

“No.” You sigh and shake your head, leaning into his hand still in your hair. “No I don’t.” 

He spends a few more minutes pulling little sounds out of you that he’s filing away for later. Nipping at your skin when you run your hands under his shirt and push it up. 

“Can I?” The question isn’t even finished before he pulls the shirt over his head and throws it behind you on the dresser. “Oh!” A giggle when he lays his hands back on you, hands rucking up your own shirt where he can run his palms over your midriff. There’s no finesse to his kisses anymore, just laying them wherever he can, anything to make you giggle again. He moves his hands higher, pushing your shirt up so he can finally see your tits again. It’s been a whole ass year since your wore your dress and he’s dreamt about this every day since. He kisses the tops of them and is mesmerized by the way they bounce back under his touch. 

“Hello old friends.”

“Old friends?!” When you laugh they move with you and he has to force himself to look back up at you. 

“Yeah, you saw the picture. We’re well acquainted.” He buries his face down in your cleavage and you hear him take a deep breath. “How do you always smell so good?” He’s layering kisses again and you’re trying to move around until you can pull your own shirt off. “Hey don’t rush this, I have this perfectly planned.” 

“Oh, so you left the drawer open on purpose?”

“Absolutely, it’s been my months long plan.” He takes a step forward to force you back one. Eyebrows scrunched together he scoffs, “I almost let you catch me for a while and then it happens by mistakeand I act like it’s the biggest fuck up ever and now I’ve got you shirtless. Listen, I plan campaigns babe. You know I can write ten steps ahead.” He’s walking you backwards till your legs hit his bed, fingers holding onto your belt loops to keep you close. 

“Eddie?” You hook your fingers into the waistband of his flannel pants, pulling down till they shift off his hips. 

“What?” He’s distracted by your fingers sliding around his hips. 

“You’re so full of shit.” He laughs when steps out of his pants and sees you look down, an immediate tilt to your head. Your fingers still against his skin, skimming the elastic of his boxers but he knows you’re staring at the growing bulge. The clever remark he had ready dies in the back of his throat when he hears the quiet ‘hmm’, watches your tongue poke out to swipe across your lips.

“If you keep staring I’m gonna get self conscious.” One hand covers his mouth to muffle the end of his sentence while the other lightly rubs up against his dick through the thin cotton. Somehow he stays upright, mouth falling open under your hand to pant against your palm. 

“You got any other surprises for me Munson?”

Are you talking to him? He can’t get a braincell to function with the heat of your hand pressed against him, barely moving at all. The button on your jeans is about all he can fathom, getting them opened and remembering how a zipper works is next. Your breath bouncing off of his chest makes him shiver and kind of brings some of his brain back up and running. 

“I uh, I got a few tricks up my sleeve.” He tips you back till you sit and he follows close, making you lay down. You laugh when your back hits the bed and you keep laughing, body shaking as he works your jeans down your legs. 

“What’s so funny, giggles?”

“I’m just…this is the first time I’ve had sex in a bed.”

Eddie stops moving and looks up at you from your feet. “I’m sorry, what?” He hopes he’s just hearing wrong, on account of his brain short circuiting a moment ago.  

“Yeah, it’s just always been in the back of cars.” You say it so flippantly, like it’s just a thing that happened to you. “I mean, It’s whatever. I just realized no one’s ever pushed me back on a bed before.” Your grin is hazy when you look down your body at him but he’s stone sober now. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to any of those assholes and he knows it. You’re the best thing to happen to him, and somehow you’ve gone this long with shitty car hookups. 

“No.” He shakes his head and pulls your jeans off fully. Slides your socks off and tosses them in the pile of your clothes. “You’re lying, please tell me your lying.” 

“I’m not! There’s so much more room!” You wave your arms next to you like you’re making a snow angle in his sheets. You sit up quick, bracing yourself on one hand to reach behind yourself to undo your bra when he stops you. 

“You don’t have to do that, I can help.” He’s crowded up against your legs where you’ve dropped them both sideways. 

“I know that, I was just making it easier.” His face must drop because you huff at him. “Look, I’m not stupid Eddie. I just, haven’t had the best track record I guess. I just assumed-“

“That I was gonna be like the other guys.”

You shrug. “Yeah, Hawkin’s finest. You know.” 

That’s a little bit of a blow, he won’t lie, but watching you slam up your walls when they’ve been nonexistent all night makes him switch tactics. 

“You deserve better than that.” He swings his legs to the side so he can lean over you, one arm braced against your hip, the other tilting your chin to look at him. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you pout before, your bottom lip sticking out pink and wet and he wants to bite it. “I’m serious.” He leans in close, lips brushing yours. “Can I be nice to you?” He whispers against you and your face flushes immediately, eyes darting down to stare at the bed. He can’t stop the grin spreading across his face, delighted with how flustered you get. 

“I-you’re always nice.” You mumble, chin fighting to get away from his hand holding you still. 

“I can be nicer.” He closes the small gap and kisses you again, still holding your chin. He can feel your breathing speed up when it ghosts over his cheek where you’re nose is pressed. When he’s certain you won’t pull away he moves his hand to your back, unhooking the clasps one by one. Eddie pulls back to look at you properly, fingers lightly pulling the straps down your arms. “Can I?”

“You don’t have to ask.” You say, still nodding your head at him anyways. 

“It’s good manners.” He says simply, wiggling your bra off of you, tossing it to join the growing pile. You’ve shifted back to your elbows, further away from him but giving him a better view. None of his fantasies are measuring up to real life. Just watching the way your tits lay when you shift has him practically drooling. He runs a fingertip from between them and down to your navel, marveling at the softness of your skin. Runs that same fingertip over to a hip and you jump just a little. “Ticklish?”

“Maybe.” Your voice is wobbly, chest rising and falling faster. He lays his palm flat against your stomach and runs it up your side, thumb brushing the underside of your breast and you sigh, letting your head fall back between your shoulders. 

“You are so fucking pretty.” Eddie means it. Even before all the crushing and jealously he could see it. With your head back he can watch the blush creep down your chest and he marvels at that too. 

“Eddie you can’t just say shit like that.” You sound strained from the angle your at. He runs his thumb under the swell of your breast again just to watch you shudder. 

“What, that your pretty?” He leans down to place a kiss on your chest, can feel your heartbeat tick up faster. He’s only got so much restraint before he grabs you up into his lap but he’s trying hard to be a gentleman about it. You deserve that much for your first time. Well, not overall but with him? Eddie’s determined to make you forget about every other guy who’s even looked at you. 

“Look at me.” He’s dropping kisses along your collarbone trying to get you to lift your head up. His hands have been itching to grab your tits but he wants you to stop being shy for a minute. “Please.” He’s trying to kiss up your neck when you finally lift your head. “Can you scoot up for me?” He asks and you oblige. As soon as your head hits his pillow he’s leaned back, pulling your knees back up so he wedge himself between them. He grabs your hand and pulls it up to kiss your open palm and you close your fingers around his cheeks, making him laugh. 

“Will you stop being cute and just touch me?” 

“How?” He kisses down your wrist, watching you get more flustered. 

“I don’t know, whatever you normally do?”

“No, that was with them, they don’t matter anymore.” He makes it to the crook of your elbow before he lets go and crawls over the top of you, getting in your face to stare you down. “What’d you think about this morning, hm?” He’s keeping track of all the little whimpers your making, the way you bite your lip when he makes you nervous. You won’t meet his eye so he follows your line of sight and you huff at him. 

“Stuff, Eddie. Oh my god.” You cover your face with your hands and he thinks he can feel the heat radiating off of you. It’s driving him crazy in the best way, he doesn’t think he’s ever had this effect on anyone before. 

“Aw c’mon. Tell me.” He kisses each finger before moving down to your knuckles and honestly, he just can’t help himself anymore when he brings a hand up to knead at your tits, a quick pinch of a hardened nipple and you gasp into your hands. “Was it this?” He pinches again and you wiggle under him, hips jumping up against him and he drops his head. You’re hot everywhere, and the core of you pressed up against him through his boxers is going to do him in if he’s not careful. “If you don’t tell me I’m gonna have to guess and this could be a long night.” He rolls his hips into you to try to get his point across and to try to get some relief. 

“Is that such a bad thing?” You ask, pulling your hands down to just cover your mouth. Your eyes are wide and glassy, pupils big and dark. 

“No, but I want to know what I do in these dreams of yours.” He moves back to your neck to make a path to your chest where he laps at your nipple. “Something like this?” He asks before wrapping his lips around and sucking, tongue flicking over sensitive skin. You arch your chest up and there’s a laugh caught in your moan. He moves over to your other side, nipping at you before mouthing at your other nipple, hand teasing at your hip. He snaps your underwear against you and you let out a quiet ‘ow’ and try to swat at his hand. “Or was I somewhere else?” His fingertips graze under the band and inch down. Your knees pull up tight around him and he’s so close to saying fuck it to his own game. 

“You were-fuck Eddie, you were going down on me.” You get so quiet, the one hand still on your mouth muffling your voice. 

“Oh?” He lets your nipple go with a wet sound, big grin already set in place. 

“If your gonna make fun of me…”

“Absolutely not.” 

You watch him over your hand place a scattering of kisses down till he hits your underwear, giving you one last questioning look before he hooks his fingers in and pulls them down. You’re also starting to feel a little self conscious when you realize he hasn’t taken his eyes off you. 

Payback

“Ed.” He just runs his hands up your legs, big palms warm against your thighs. He pulls your knees out a little further before leaning down and re-situating himself between your thighs, leaving open mouthed kisses along the inside. You’re torn between wanting to watch him and wanting to cover your face in embarrassment when he makes the decision for you, pulling at your elbow to drag your hand down to his head. He’s got that lazy smirk on his face and you can feel his breath skipping across too sensitive skin. 

“Give you something to hold on to.” You want to laugh but he’s too quick, fingers moving in to hold you open for him. Your head drops into the pillow when he licks a broad tongue from your center right up to your clit, your back arching up and Eddie’s laugh vibrates through you. 

“Oh fuck.”

“I haven’t even started yet.” You can hear the proud smirk in his voice and if you’d like to say something smart back you won’t, too focused on his mouth working you over. His tongue is soft, even when he points it, uses it to prod at your opening and you forget any remarks you might have had for him. 

“Eddie.” You pull at his hair when he wraps his lips around your clit and he groans. You’re stuck concentrating on his mouth until he slides one finger in and you choke on a gasp. He pulls his mouth away and lays his head against your leg, watching you from under his wet hair. 

“Is this what you thought about?” He can see you nod into the pillow, hand twisted next to your head in the fabric while he pumps his hand slowly. 

“It’s what I thought about.” He hooks his finger up, trying to find that soft spot to make you melt. “I think about it all the time.” The grip on your thigh is tight, keeping it close against his cheek. “Ever since you told me about those shitty dates.” 

“Seriously?” You lift your head, eyes half lidded and face scrunched up. 

“I should have nutted up and said something. They didn’t deserve you.” He pulls his finger out and you watch him suck it into his mouth, watch his eyes roll in his head. You groan and he adds his middle finger before he pulls his hand out, spit slick fingers running up over your clit, teasing you before he slides both back in. He leans in to run his tongue through your folds, watching you from under his lashes while you wriggle around and clutch at the pillow. The hand in his hair grips tighter and your legs squeeze up around his ears and he’s surrounded by you, the low chanting of his name keeping him planted in place. He finally finds that spot, feels you shudder under him before you moan, tilting your hips up to chase his touch. 

“Eddie Eddie Eddie fuck!” You keep rolling your hips against his face and he can’t help himself. He’s been pathetically rutting into the mattress listening to you whine and he can’t take it anymore. He taps under your thigh to get your attention, really gets it when he fully pulls away and you look down at him all concerned. “Why are you stopping?” 

“Good reason.” He stands up and pulls off his boxers, rooting around his nightstand for the condoms he knows are in there. He’s oblivious to you on the bed, sitting all the way up now and staring. Of course they’re not where he left them, instead tucked behind his lamp but he grabs one and climbs back on the bed before he realizes what he’s done. “Oh.” Eddie feels his face heat up when he looks down at himself. “I probably should have done that better.” He’s expecting you to laugh or sigh or say something witty but you just snatch the foil out of his hand and tear it open. You only pause for second before wrapping your hand around him and he’s positive this isn’t going to last as long as he’d hopped. When you roll the condom down he hisses and drops, head falling into your shoulder. 

“You okay champ?” 

He just nods and whines when you give him a few easy strokes, watching your hand move up and down his cock. You’re so much more gentle with him than he is with himself. Eyes half open and mouth hanging he’s sure he looks fucking stupid but he doesn’t care, doesn’t want you to stop touching him. When you scoot closer and pull his face up it takes him a moment to realize you’re kissing him, for him to react and do something. 

“C’mere.” He shakes out of his haze enough to move back between your knees, pulling your hips so your ass is flush against his thighs. He pulls your leg up to hook over his hip, placing a quick kiss on your knee before lining himself up.  He rubs the tip of cock against you, catching on your clit twice and making you whimper. 

“Please Ed.” He doesn’t need to be begged twice, grabs the base of his dick and sinks in slow. Sees your breath catch and your eyes roll, “Oh fuck it.” He bottoms out, can feel you clenching around him tight and hot and gasping and laughing and he looses all composure. Fingers dug into your leg wrapped around him he snaps his hips back and into you, punching out a sharp peal of laughter. He does it again, loves the way he can hear the choked off gasp in your throat. When he picks up his pace you grab at the sheets, twisting them up off his bed. 

“Fucking th-thank you-u!” It’s stuttered out between thrust, your face flushed and twisted up in a smile. 

“You know how many times I thought about this?” He has to talk, if he doesn’t talk he’s going to blow his load and he refuses to let your first time together end before a full minute passes. “Every time I looked at that picture I thought about it. I should have fucked you in that bathroom.” Your nails scratch at his thigh where they try to find purchase. “All the rides out to the lake oh fuck- I should have done this sooner, yeah?” He licks his thumb before bringing it down on your clit, running tight circles around it. Your back arches off the bed and he feels you clench around him. “Is that it? Right there-ohmygod.” It almost sounds like you’re crying his name just before you come, nails digging into his thigh when it crashes into you. He watches you tense up and then collapse against the bed, pliant under him where he starts to loose his rhythm. The heat that reached up fast burns up his spine while he watches you revel in your aftershocks, already trying to grab him down to you. The hazy look in your eyes and that grin you’re flashing him send him over the edge, burying himself with a deep groan, your name scattered between curses. He’s whited out until he can catch his breath, gripping your thigh until he can see straight. In the distant ringing in his ears he can hear your giggle under him, soft like the hands trying to pull him closer. 

“Hey.” Your eyes find his in his own haze, slowly coming back down to earth. “Come here.” Gentle tugs to get him to lay down but he shakes his head, asks for minute. He pulls out to get rid of the condom and disappears into the bathroom for minute, leaving you to roll around his bed. When he comes back he turns off his light. Sees that you’ve pulled the blankets up under your chin, one finger poking out to beckon him back in. “I’m cold.” 

Eddie would like to pinch himself just to make sure this is real. In all of his imaginings he never let himself have this part. The sex was easy to think about but this hurt too much to ever linger on. He finds his pants first before crawling back into bed, snaking a hand around your middle and pulling you into him. He wedges his nose up under your jaw and hums, leaving a few soft kisses in his wake. 

“Are you always this cuddly?” 

“I don’t normally get to cuddle.” You’re both quiet in the dark, hushed tones under the blankets. 

“Huh.” Your fingers tangle up in his hair, nails lightly scratching over his scalp. It sends a deep shiver down his spine and he has a split second where he feels like crying. “Their loss.” He feels the kiss you leave on his forehead and just buries his head further into your neck. You smell like you always do, sweet and deep and now a little like him. He drifts off without meaning to. 

It’s not daylight yet, but his room is lighter. There’s no alarm clock going off next to his head so he looks around, trying to find whatever it is that pulled him out of his warm cocoon. 

Bleary vision in the dark, he can barely make out your form jumping quietly into your jeans. He’s peering at you from under the covers, watching you get dressed. You stop mid jump to pick something up, staring at it before padding over to his dresser and tucking it into his mirror. He’s basically awake when you turn to open his door and he quietly asks you where you’re going. 

“Jesus fucking Christ you’re gonna give me a heart attack.” You clutch you chest and try to search through the dark for his eyes, finally see him when he pulls the sheets back a bit. 

“Seriously, where are you goin’?”

“It’s almost 5. I figured Wayne was gonna be home soon so I cleaned up the living room and like, I didn’t know if I should hang around?”

“You sleep over here all the time.” He slides a hand out from under the covers to make a grabby hand at you. “He won’t care.”

“Well I mean, I’m not usually naked in your bed dude.”

“Then leave your shirt on.” Eddie doesn’t understand what you’re not understanding. “I mean it, Wayne isn’t gonna care. If anything he’ll be happy I stopped bitching about you.”

“You bitch about me?”

“No, I bitched about not having you. There’s a difference. Now come here, I’m cold.” He lifts the blankets up quick, making a sweeping motion for you to get back in. “Plus, he won’t say anything unless you do. He likes you too much to embarrass you.” You’re out of your jeans again and crawling over him, trying to avoid kneeing him. 

“Aww, he likes me?”

“Well I like you too.” You’re barely settled before he’s wrapped around you, leg hitched over your thighs and pinning you down. “What’s that get me?” He’s nosing along your jaw again. 

“Depends what you’re looking for.” 

“Mm. Concert tickets to see Ozzy in Indy.”

“Oh that’s a big ask.”

“I see. How about a kiss?” He pulls back to smile lazily up at you. 

“I can do that.”

❣Tag List❣

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[amethystina]

A health update (and a general explanation of my long Covid)

So while I've been pretty open about living with long Covid, I realise I've never taken the time to explain what that actually means for me and my quality of living. It's a phrase I toss around but I can imagine it doesn't feel all that substantial to a lot of you.

So I figured that now that I'm feeling a bit better (more on that later) I should do so. Partly because I figure it will make it easier to understand why I sometimes have to disappear for weeks on end.

So, if you're interested, feel free to keep reading under the cut :)

But be warned: It's long and kind of whiny. But also ends on a high note! So there's that.

The first time I caught Covid was around Easter 2020, long before there were any vaccines, which meant that I was hit hard. But no matter how bad I felt during the illness itself, the aftermath has been ten times worse. I've been living with my long Covid symptoms ever since, so for four years now. They worsened for a couple of months when I caught Covid a second time in February 2021, but have otherwise held pretty steady during those four years.

A lot of people experience different symptoms with their long Covid and, sometimes, they'll change as the weeks and months go by. I actually had a very interesting couple of months during 2022 when my sense of smell just went completely whack and everything suddenly smelled differently than it should. Like, I could be smelling an apple but it did not smell like an apple. It was a weird time in my life.

Anyway. My most common symptoms are fatigue, fevers, joint pain, brain fog, memory issues, incoherent speech, and lowered blood circulation.

(The latter actually kickstarted the Raynaud's syndrome I have on my mother's side so now I struggle with fingers and feet that will occasionally go white, bloodless, and completely numb at random intervals. Fun times)

The fatigue and fevers are the worst by far. For the past four years, I have had exhaustion fevers between two to five times a week. Or every single day if I'm unlucky. It's very much tied to how much sleep I'm getting, how well I'm eating, and how many taxing things I do each day. I need eight hours of sleep to be functional and anything less than that will most likely mean I'll end up having a fever before the day is over.

Unfortunately, I've always had issues with my sleep so, on most nights, I don't get eight hours even if I try my absolute best. Sometimes it's because I wake up too early and can't fall back asleep and, sometimes — because my life sucks — it's because my fever is so high that I can't fall asleep. Cue the endless cycle of too little sleep and fevers.

Because one of the main issues with these exhaustion fevers — and what makes them so difficult to manage — is that there's no way to lower them. Medicine has no effect whatsoever. Once I have it, I just have to suffer through however many hours are left until I can sleep and hope that it'll be gone in the morning. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

And every day my energy level gets just a little bit lower and the fever a little bit higher. Some days, all I can do when I get home from work is to lie on the couch and stare at the wall because I'm too tired and in too much pain to even watch something. And, again, no amount of medicine helps.

It continues on like this for a while and, every third or fourth month or so, the strain eventually becomes too much and I fall ill. My body simply shuts down from the continued stress and exhaustion, to the point where I can barely get out of bed. And, usually, I can feel it coming. On top of the fevers, I start coughing, then get a headache, and then my nose gets stuffy. And, by that time, I know I have about two to four days before I get sick. It's so accurate that my coworkers have learned that when I give the sign, they have to tell me whatever tasks they need to be finished within the near future since I'll probably be out of commission for one to two weeks.

But I eventually recover, go back to work, and so the cycle starts again. And again. And again. And again.

For four years.

All of this has, unsurprisingly, affected my quality of life to a pretty significant degree. I can barely work, let alone spend time doing any of my hobbies. I can't really travel anymore and, if I do, I'll get sick from the exhaustion. Even the 50-minute commute to the office (which I have to do three times a week) usually results in a fever before the day is over.

This inability to travel was how I ended up missing my maternal granddad's funeral. My shitty relatives didn't tell us the date for when he would be buried until there were only two days left and even if I could have put myself on an overnight train to get there, I knew I would be in no shape to actually be at the funeral if I did. So I couldn't go.

I did go to sit with my paternal grandmother as she was dying but, as expected, I got sick and couldn't return to work for a couple of days afterwards.

I also have to skip most birthday celebrations and any events happening on weekdays since I'm usually too feverish or won't manage the required trip to get there. My life has shrunk so much I barely recognise it anymore. I don't recognise myself. I used to be one of those people who could do a million things at the same time and somehow complete all of them. I was firm, organised, and efficient.

And now I'm not.

(... or, well, technically I am — at least compared to many others — but not compared to how I used to be xD)

Point being, a lot of things have changed and I don't like it. But, with that said, I'm also well aware that I'm lucky to be alive and I'm fortunate enough to have a stable job and a roof over my head. So, all things considered, I'm still doing pretty well.

But I also can't lie and say that this hasn't affected me in a deep and fundamental way. My life has changed and, right now, I don't know if it'll ever return to what I used to consider normal. And dealing with that knowledge — and the grief and fear that comes with it — hasn't been easy. I have cried ugly, self-pitying tears over this many, many times. It's frustrating to have no control over what my body does and to constantly have to be careful of what I do so I don't exhaust myself. I am furious that this happened to me.

But, after four years, there's also a certain amount of acceptance. And while I'm annoyed by my new limitations, I try my best not to feel too sorry for myself. Instead, I try to adapt as best I can, even if I might not always do it gracefully.

That does mean that I sometimes push myself more than I should, though. Because, if I didn't, I wouldn't never produce anything. As depressing as it is to admit, everything I've given you in the past four years has been while I was sick. I don't think a single chapter I've written or drawing I've made has been untouched by this. I've become an expert at writing, editing, and drawing even with a fever.

That doesn't mean I regret it, though — quite the opposite. I think that if I hadn't had a reason to write and draw, I would have felt even worse. A lof of the time, the excitement I feel when I'm able to post a chapter or show off a drawing I've made has been the highlight of my week. It's an accomplishment.

But, that said, it's still hard. Writing in particular. It requires a level of brainpower I can't reach when the fevers are too bad. And so, sometimes, I just can't. I literally just can't.

And, back in January, as I was trying to edit chapter 39 of Who Holds the Devil, I honestly pushed myself too hard. I was so determined to finish it that I didn't let myself see just how bad I was feeling — not at all helped by how emotionally draining the content of the chapter was.

It was only once I finished the chapter and posted it that I realised how absolutely wretched I felt. Not because of the chapter itself, but my lack of compassion for myself, I guess? Because the fevers were bad, I was barely sleeping, and I was both mentally and physically exhausted. And, what was worse, I realised that I was displaying depression symptoms I hadn't seen in over ten years.

All of a sudden, I got annoyed as soon as a minor inconvenience appeared. Everything people said to me was dissected into its tiniest component. I feared that people were secretly hating me. I couldn't meet people's eyes anymore when I was talking to them. I didn't realise I was just sitting there, staring at a wall, until several minutes had already passed.

And, as the final nail in the coffin, I stopped talking about how I was feeling.

And that, right there, is my last warning that I need to do something — always has been, ever since I was a teenager. When I clam up completely, refusing to admit to the people around me that I'm feeling bad, that's when I'm about to spiral.

So, the very next day, I went to my boss and told her that I'm getting burnt out and I need to do something NOW or this was going to turn ugly real soon. Thankfully, my boss is amazing and, after a doctor's visit, I was put on partial sick leave. Right now, I'm working six hours a day instead of eight and, let me tell you, I'm thriving.

Or, well, as much as I can while still having long Covid.

I'm almost angry at how much better I feel because, if I had known, I would have done this a lot sooner. I actually have energy now! I've only had a fever about four times in a little over a month! That's insane! It used to be four a week!

So yeah. I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. The downside is that the partial sick leave is still only temporary and there are no guarantees that I'll be able to keep it. Though, if need be, I'll just have to ask my boss to rewrite my contract and change the amount of hours I work because, man, I don't ever want to go back considering how much better and happier I feel. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I feel like I've gotten my life back. It's not quite the same as before, but close enough to it that I kind of want to cry again — but happy tears this time.

And so I've spent the past couple of weeks just... living? When, before that, it felt like I was merely existing. I've been drawing a lot since that helps with the depression symptoms (which are almost completely gone, thank god) but writing has been harder. Possibly because I forced myself to do it during a time when I felt really, really bad and now I'm instinctively trying to shy away from it. But, since I know that's just my mind playing tricks on me, I'm going to give it another try this weekend. I want to write and I miss the stories I'm working on. And, hopefully, since I'm feeling a bit better, I can maybe get back to a more structured uploading schedule. But we'll see. As always, I can't make any promises.

But that's about it, I guess? I'm feeling better and, since I am, I've been doing a lot of things that I wasn't able to before (like taking walks — I take a lot of walks). And I'm still trying to figure out my new routine now that I work less. And while I still get sick sometimes (I am right now, in fact, due to lack of sleep on Tuesday night) I always find my way back eventually.

So yeah. If you've read this far, thank you so much for your patience 💜 I admit that I don't really enjoy writing things like these since it feels like I'm whining — I was very much raised not to take up space or complain when things are difficult (an unfortunate side effect to being the middle child with two disabled, high-maintenance siblings) — but I also prefer honesty and transparency. And I feel a little guilty since there are times when I've given pretty harsh responses when people question why I'm sick all the time or why I don't upload chapters as often as I used to, but without actually explaining why. So I guess it's time to be honest?

And the truth is that I've been constantly sick for the past four years. Not only due to my long Covid, but also the emotional and psychological toll of all the loss, grief, and pain I've been through. These past four years have been rough.

But I'm not saying that to gain pity or make excuses. I actually think I've done pretty well considering just how hindered I've been. I've improved my drawings so much and have written... god knows how many words. I'm honestly kind of scared to check xD But it has to be over 600k by now, maybe closer to 700k.

I think my only regret is that I haven't been able to engage with you all to the extent I would want. I wish I could be a more active and enthusiastic participant in fandom — to seek you out, hold conversations, and give you all even a fraction of the attention you've given me. I feel like I don't offer you nearly enough.

But I also know that I have to accept my own limitations. So, for now, we'll have to settle for whatever I can give, even if it's less than I would want. But I will keep on creating, trust me on that, because I'm stubborn as fuck and even if my pace is slower, I'm still determined to finish what I start.

And that's the note I want to end this on. I have suffered, yes — more so than I may have expressed to you all — but I've still managed to create some beautiful things. And while I mourn who I used to be and the fact that some of you have never known me at my best, I don't think the me I am right now is all that terrible. Do I want things to change? Yes, definitely. But do I want to change the choices I've made and the things I've accomplished in the past four years? No, I can't say that I do. I'm proud of what I've done, especially considering my limitations.

And, if you're reading this, thank you so, so much for your kindness, compassion, and support. Some of you are old friends while others of you are new, but I am grateful to every single one of you. You have made these past four years more bearable. You have made it easier to keep fighting. You have made it worth it.

Thank you 💜