#FUCK MAN I AM SAT HERE IN TEARS OVERWHELMED

[carry-on-every-neverland-magic]

okay OKAY THAT EPISODE MAN I AM A MESS

That was so fucking beautiful, Joel opening up to Tommy about his fears and how he clearly cares for and loves Ellie and is so afraid of letting her down or getting her hurt, the fact he sees Sarah after he told Ellie they would be parting as if she was there to remind him that its okay to be afraid because loving is worth it, stay with her dad. And gOD the next day when Ellie basically shoves the pack into him LETS GOOOOOO and they fucking banter on the fucking horse in the snow and bond and its the most beautiful thing I AM ON THE FLOOR

I loved seeing Jackson thriving, loved Maria and her chat with Ellie LOVED THE HORSES <3 AND SHIMMER <3 OH GOD

And Joel saying about singing I AM SO UNWELL AND THIS SHOW IS GONNA END ME

I am a flailing mess as usual can’t express what this makes me feel just that its one of the best shows I have ever seen, the acting across the board is superb and the chemistry and nuance that Pedro and Bella bring everytime is phenomenal. I fucking love it it got me right in the heart like Joel my heart stops watching this I just...yeah I’m gonna shut up now and express my love through (sadly mediocre) gifs soon

[joelsgreys]

fall into temptation | three

Post Outbreak Joel Miller x Preacher’s Daughter! Reader

series masterlist l previous chapter

summary: Of all the women to catch Joel Miller’s attention—it just had to be one of the goddamned preacher’s daughters.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. JACKSON ERA. SLIGHT PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF READER, mentions of her hair which she can put up into braids as well as her style of clothing. despite the nickname Joel gives her, it does not speak to her body type or size. AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 56). several mentions of religion and religious symbols, reader has a father and two sisters, all who come with names, reader gets put into a a very uncomfortable situation, insecurity, anxiety, Seth is an asshole, protective Joel, he threatens to break someone’s jaw which is a warning in and of itself. SMUT. loss of virginity, reader is inexperienced but not totally clueless, oral (both m and f receiving), risky unprotected p in v sex (please wrap it up), lots of praise and pet names (baby, babygirl, honey, you know, the works), Joel gets a teensy bit rough, creampie, hint of aftercare, ends with a cliffhanger, but also not really if you think about it?

MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, NO MENTION OF RACE OR BODY TYPE.

word count: 10k

a/n: it was not my intention to post this on jesus day, but here we are. this took forever and a day considering the second part was posted back in september, but i am so so proud of myself for finally completing a wip i could cry. i did a bulk of the editing while i’ve been sick and in all honesty i probably should have asked someone to beta for me because i think i coughed out like 90% of my brain cells this week, but i think it turned out okay. ish.

Somehow, even over the volume of the live music, you could still hear their hushed, astonished whispers.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

“Is that Joel Miller with Pastor John’s daughter?”

“What’s she doing holding his hand?”

“He’s got to be at least twice her fucking age—”

Throat bobbing anxiously, you glanced up at Joel.

His shoulders were squared back, his head held high. 

Solid. Steady.

Joel couldn’t seem to care less about the bewildered stares, the judgment that was being flung his way. Not once did he seem to waver. But you?

Oh, you were already starting to crumble underneath it all, on the verge of falling apart right before everyone’s prying eyes. Shame sat heavily inside of your chest, the weight of the feeling suffocating you, making it harder and harder to breathe as it prevented air from reaching your lungs.

It had nothing to do with Joel. Of course it didn’t. It had all to do with you and with who you were. Their beloved preacher’s sweet, innocent young daughter. 

His youngest daughter. 

Suddenly, the whispers were no longer whispers.

“Oh God, she’s not going home with him, is she?”

“That’s not right! Someone should say something!”

“Pastor John would never allow something like this.”

“Poor thing’s naive—she doesn’t know any better.”

Hot, stubborn tears of frustration glazed over your eyes and threatened to spill. It was as if you were a child who didn’t know any better, a gullible, clueless little girl with nothing in her brain who needed to be rescued—saved from the bad, bad man before he did bad, bad things to her.

Had it been anyone else, no one would have batted an eye. No one would have noticed, let alone cared. But it was you that Joel Miller was leaving the bar with in the middle of the night and it was you whose hand he had clasped in his own. That is what made it wrong. That is why it was a problem.

Everyone’s concerns had nothing to do with him at all, they had everything to do with you. You, you, you. You were the sole reason why it was a problem, the reason why he was being perceived as the Devil himself, horns out as he dragged the poor little unsuspecting angel down to the fires of Hell.

“Joel?” Overwhelmed, you instinctively reached for his arm with your free hand. Cold and trembling, your little fingers curled tightly around his bicep, digging into the firm, bulging muscle through the thick corduroy fabric of his sleeve. You whispered his name again. “Joel—”

“S’alright, babygirl,” he reassured you quietly over his shoulder. He gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “S’alright. Just keep your eyes on me, sweetheart. I’ve got you. You just keep on lookin’ right at me, okay?”

Nodding, you inhaled deeply and focused on him. Only him. The broadness of his back and his shoulders. Tufts of hair that curled over the collar of his shirt. Only him. He’s what mattered. He’s all that mattered.

“Almost there,” Joel murmured, squeezing your hand again as the door came into view. “Breathe, baby. We’re almost there. I’ve got you. You’re alright. Ain’t gonna let anythin’ bad happen to you. Promise I’ve got you.”

It wasn’t until his fingers wrapped around the old, brass handle that you finally exhaled the breath you had been holding out in utter relief, though it was very, very short lived. Just as Joel pulled the door open, you felt a hand wrap around your arm. Dry, slender fingers dug into the soft flesh above your elbow as an attempt, and a feeble one at that, was made to tear you out of Joel’s grasp.

The music stopped and the bar fell silent. Everything and everyone came to a sudden standstill, freezing mid dance, mid drink, mid bite, mid gossip.

Shocked, you glanced over your shoulder. “Seth?” you squeaked his name. “What—what are you doing?”

Seth didn’t acknowledge you. His focus was on Joel.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Miller?”

Joel’s anger couldn’t be seen, but it could be felt. So palpable you could have wrapped your fingers around it. It radiated off of him and loomed over the entire bar like an incoming storm cloud. Threatening. Dangerous.

“Where are you taking her?” Seth demanded, his other hand curling around your wrist as he tried, but failed, to snatch you from Joel’s side once more. “Let the girl go! You let her go right now, you hear?”

Caught in between the two men, you nervously turned to look at Joel. Nostrils flared, jaw clenched, seething eyes that did the talking for him. His message was loud and oh so abundantly clear.

If Seth didn't take his hands off you, he wasn’t going to have any hands.

Not after Joel Miller was through with him.

Blazing heat flooded your face. As if it couldn’t possibly get any worse, everyone had now gathered around you to watch the tense encounter, eyes wide, brows raised and jaws practically on the weathered, hardwood floor.

Tommy Miller stood among the crowd, subtly shaking his head, his lips pressed together in a tight, thin line of disapproval as he glowered at his older brother. Would he be looking at Joel like that had it been Esther in your place? If she was the one he was taking home? Would any of this be happening if it was her instead of you?

“Seth.” Uttering his name, you shifted your attention back to him. You sounded calm and collected, despite feeling anything but. Joel’s hand in yours was the only thing keeping you steady and grounded. His touch was the only reason you hadn’t yet spiraled into a state of panic. Clearing your throat lightly, you spoke again and tried your hardest not to waver. “Please let go of me.”

Still fixed on Joel, he spat, “I’ll be damned if I let him take you anywhere.”

“He’s not taking me anywhere, Seth.” Without thinking, the words came tumbling out of your mouth—loud and clear for everyone in that room to hear. “He isn’t forcing me to go with him. I’m making the choice to leave with him. Out of my own volition. Please let go of me.”

Finally, Seth looked at you. His old, worn features were twisted in disbelief. “What?”

You swallowed dryly. Part of you wanted you to shrink away, curl into yourself. Instead, you straightened your posture, forced yourself to stand a little bit taller. Willed yourself to have a backbone for once in your life.

“You heard me,” you said, lifting your chin in defiance. Several onlookers gasped in surprise at your rebellion. Where had this insolence come from? “I’m choosing to leave with Joel. Now, please let go of my arm.”

Behind you, Joel stood silent and still. 

Watching. Observing. Waiting.

He wanted nothing more than to intervene. Rip you out of Seth’s hands and shatter each and every last bone in all ten of his fingers for putting them on you. Had Joel not realized that this was probably the first time in your whole, entire life you’d mustered up the courage to use your voice, he would have easily given into the urge. He wanted to protect you. He needed so badly to protect you. Yet, he knew you weren’t helpless or incapable of standing on your own two feet. He knew you deserved the chance to stand up and speak for yourself after a lifetime of being silenced, a lifetime of being forced to stay in your place, seen but never heard.

“Seth, let go of my arm,” you repeated. It was no longer a polite request. It was a demand.

He scoffed. “Do you honestly think I’m going to let you leave with somebody like him? You think I’m just going to stand back and let him take advantage of you?”

Oh, you hadn’t liked that insinuation, not one bit. 

It caused something inside of you to finally give way.

Snap.

The blood in your veins boiled, ran hot enough to make you feel like you were about to burn from the inside out. “Joel isn’t taking advantage of me! It isn’t like that,” you seethed, furiously. The quiet, well mannered, obedient good girl everyone in Jackson knew was gone. And she could stay gone. In your periphery, you could see Leah elbowing her way through the sea of people to the front of the crowd with an incredulous look plastered on her face. She stood there beside Tommy, who appeared to be just as incredibly bewildered by your outburst. “Don’t treat me like I’m some child who doesn’t know any better! I’m an adult and I’m old enough to make my own choices, okay?”

For a moment, you had forgotten it was Seth standing there in front of you.

“I’m capable of making my own decisions! I don’t need you to dictate my life. I don’t need you to tell me what is and isn’t good for me—controlling what I should and shouldn’t believe in.” Your voice trembled as emotions you’d been suppressing for years bubbled their way up to the surface. Amidst the chaos, you could feel Joel squeeze your hand again, as if silently encouraging you not to lose your nerve. He was your anchor, the only person who could keep your world from capsizing. You knew he wouldn’t let you drown. Not even God, who you had always been forced to believe was your pillar of strength, had ever made you feel this protected. Safe. “I don’t need you to tell me how to live and much less when it’s the end of the world.”

It wasn’t Seth you were addressing.

It was your father.

Your father, who controlled every last thing, from what you would eat to the way that you dressed and how you wore your hair.

Your father, who refused to let you have a mind of your own, who simply could not bear the mere thought of you thinking for yourself.

Your father, whose love felt like shackles, heavy, rusted metal restraints that had been digging into the flesh of your wrists for far, far too long.

“You need to let me go now,” you said, swallowing back the lump in your throat. Once more, you caught Leah from the corner of your eye, your heart lurching in your chest when you noticed her desperately trying to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. She was the only person in the room who understood how you felt. Her rebelliousness only ever masked the pain of knowing her father’s love came with terms and conditions—and the fear of knowing what would happen if those terms and conditions weren’t met. For several weeks, you’d gotten a taste of what she went through everyday, how her fear of putting her foot down led her to run around in secret and live a double life. “Just let me go.”

Seth firmly shook his head. “No! I’m not letting you go anywhere with him. I don’t know what the hell he did to you, but he’s clearly got you all fucking brainwashed.”

That was fucking enough. Joel stepped in, lowering his voice as he said, “Y’know, I’ve just ‘bout lost count of how many fuckin’ times she’s asked you to let her go now and it’s really startin’ to piss me off.” Raising an eyebrow, he laid his offer out on the table. “Here’s the deal. You let go of her right now and I won’t shatter your fuckin’ jaw into pieces. That seem fair enough to you?”

“No.” Seth gripped your arm even harder, prompting you to let out a little yelp as his nails dug painfully into your skin. Though it’d been accidental and he hadn’t meant to hurt you, it didn’t matter. He’d just set off the ticking time bomb that was Joel Miller.

Furious, Joel snatched a fistful of his shirt with his free hand—the other still held yours. Gentle, despite being mere moments away from beating someone to within an inch of their life.

“Joel! Stop!” Tommy’s voice broke through the tension as he approached. His footsteps were slow—careful and cautious, as if he was afraid to make any kind of sudden movement. “Joel. Hey. C’mon now, let’s not do this, alright? Ain’t gotta handle things this way. We can talk it through. No need for anyone to wind up bleedin’ in the fuckin’ infirmary tonight, so just take a breath and let him go.”

Blatantly ignoring Tommy’s attempt to keep the peace, Joel tugged Seth forward, yanking him closer. “Listen to me and listen to me good ‘cause I ain’t gonna fuckin’ say it again. You’d best take your fuckin’ hands off her right now unless you wanna spend the rest of the night sweepin’ up your teeth off the floor of your own fuckin’ bar,” he threatened, his tone enough to send a chill up anyone’s spine, even your own.

“You wouldn’t dare, Miller.” Somehow, Seth managed to keep a straight face, but you could see it so clearly in his eyes and in the tremble of his lower lip—oh, he was terrified of Joel and rightly so. “Not in front of all these people. Not in front of your brother. That wouldn’t be a smart move considering you’re already on thin fucking ice for what you did to that boy’s face, now would it?”

Joel tugged him closer. “Test me,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Go on. Fuckin’ test me.”

His challenge was immediately met with a pathetic look of defeat. Seth dropped your arm and he was released.

“S’what I fuckin’ thought.” Without another word to the man, Joel whirled around and roughly pulled the door open, leading the way outside. As you both descended the building’s old, creaking wooden steps, you began to shiver and he suddenly remembered he’d left his jacket behind inside the bar. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “C’mere, my little dove,” he murmured as he tucked you against his side for warmth. “I’ve got you.”

The first thing he did was light the fireplace.

“Should start warmin’ you up, sweet girl,” he’d said to you over his shoulder. He tossed a log into the blaze as you sat perched on his couch rubbing your bare arms with your hands. “M’gonna go upstairs and find you a blanket, alright? You stay put.”

“Okay,” you’d mumbled, knowing there was no point in telling him not to fuss over you.

Even with the soft, fleece throw blanket he had draped around your shoulders and the warmth of the flames in front of you, you continued trembling. Subtle, but he’d noticed it, felt it when he had sat down beside you and pulled you close against his side. “Oh baby, you’re still shakin’?” That was when he realized you weren’t cold. Frowning, Joel rose to his feet and disappeared down the hallway. He came back to the living room a minute later with a glass of water in his hand. With a small, labored grunt, he dropped to one knee in front of you and held it out. “Here.”

“No, thank you.” You shook your head. “I’m not thirsty.”

“Maybe not, but I’m kinda worried you could be in a bit of shock, right now,” he stated, the creases in between his brows deepening as he observed you for any other physical signs of distress. Carefully, Joel lifted the glass to your lips, gently coaxing you to take a drink. “C’mon, darlin’. Think you can be a real good girl for me and at least take a couple sips? Hm?”

Sighing softly, you nodded and did as he asked of you, taking a small sip of water. It soothed your dry mouth and throat and you took another one. Maybe you were thirsty after all.

“Little more, now. Little more. That’s it. That’s my good girl.” Once he was satisfied with how much you’d had to drink, Joel set the half empty glass down on the oak coffee table behind him. He turned back to you, placing his large hands on either side of your thighs below the hem of your dress. He started tracing soft, soothing circles into your skin with his thumbs. “M’real proud of you for standin’ up for yourself back there, sweetheart. Took a whole lot of fuckin’ courage to do that, y’know.”

You glanced down at your hands in your lap. “Mhm.”

“Baby. Hey. Look at me.” One of his hands abandoned your leg and he reached up, delicately taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. He tilted your face upwards, his worried gaze meeting your own. “Talk to me. M’right here.”

“That—that was a lot,” you admitted meekly, shoulders sagging as the adrenaline started wearing off and your body slowly came down from the peak hormone rush. “It was a lot.”

Sighing, Joel’s hand fell away from your face. “Yeah, I know it was a lot, babygirl. I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“No.” You were quick to cut him off. “Don’t be sorry.”

His chest heaved with another sigh, this one deeper, heavier, bearing the weight of his guilt. “Well I am,” he said. He planted his hands on either side of you on the couch and lightly shook his head. “Didn’t even fuckin’ think twice when I pulled you outta that fuckin’ supply closet and took your hand in front of all those people. I was so fuckin’ hellbent on showin’ everybody you were mine that I didn’t even stop and think ‘bout what all it would mean for you. It was selfish of me. Real fuckin’ selfish. And I’m sorry, little dove.”

“Do you regret it?” you asked, quietly.

Joel chuckled in spite of himself. “M’pretty sure I’m the one who should be askin’ you that question, darlin’,” he remarked. “Tell me. Do you regret it? Do you regret me pullin’ you outta that closet?” He momentarily paused. There was a stutter in his heartbeat when you dropped your gaze away from his, silence your only reply. “Do you regret me takin’ your hand in front of everyone?”

Of course not.

You wanted to be his and you wanted everyone to know it. There was no regret, none. 

Still. 

The consequences that you would undoubtedly have to face in the morning were overwhelming. Daunting.

Surely, by then, your father would know about you and Joel. When he came downstairs right after sunrise and he discovered you weren’t in the kitchen helping Lydia prepare breakfast, he would question where you were and make some kind of remark about how you should not be sleeping in this late. He would tell her just how irresponsible it was for you to ignore your duties and obligations to him and the family. Sloth was one of the seven deadly sins, after all. He would make her trek upstairs and wake you, and when she did, your sister would find your bed empty.

Meanwhile, there would be a knock at the front door.

No stranger to having members of the congregation show up on his doorstep when they were in need, be it of prayer or comfort, your father would answer it only to find someone, not in need of solace, but who felt that it was their responsibility and moral obligation to inform him that they had seen his youngest daughter leaving The Tipsy Bison with Joel Miller in the middle of the night, hand in hand.

He wouldn’t believe them.

“Now, that is simply not true,” he would say, offended that anybody would have the nerve to show up at his door and accuse you of something so vile. “That’s not possible. I know my daughter and she would never do such a thing. It must have been someone else that you saw with him. Someone who looked like her, perhaps.”

Then, Lydia would descend the staircase and tell him you weren’t in your bedroom. “She must have gone up to the main street as soon as she woke up,” she would suggest with a shrug, not yet privy to the events that had taken place the night before at the party you and Leah had snuck off to. She never had to worry about you, the good one. “I did notice we were running pretty low on eggs. Sugar, too. She probably wanted to be the first in line at the pantry to—Papa? What’s the matter?”

The color would drain from your father’s face when the realization slowly sank in. No, you weren’t out on the main street picking up eggs for breakfast and sugar for his tea. You were lying up in Joel Miller’s bed—defiled, impure, and with the curse of Eve on your flesh. Even after dedicating his entire life to making sure you did not stray from the path of righteousness, he had failed. You had fallen into temptation. 

There was a chance he would have mercy on you. All you had to do was beg and plead for his forgiveness—and more importantly, for the forgiveness of God. “Vow to atone for your sins,” your father would say, his gaze fixed on the Holy Bible in his lap. He probably wouldn’t be able to look at you, not after what you had done. “Repent. And swear to me, child, that you will never so much as glance in that man’s direction ever again.”

No. That’s not what you wanted.

You wanted Joel and the freedom to be with him. 

But that freedom came with a high, high price.

You were willing to pay it, but you’d be lying if you said you were prepared to navigate the consequences. Then again, was there really any way for someone to prepare themselves to be shunned by their own father?

“I can take you home,” Joel offered quietly, the sound of his voice taking you out of the future and bringing you back into the present.

“What?”

“I can take you home,” he repeated himself. “I can take you home right now if that’s what you want, sweet girl. Won’t give you any kinda grief ‘bout it.”

Confused, all you could do was stare at him.

“Listen to me, baby. You mean a lot to me. More than I can even begin to explain,” Joel reassured you before any kind of doubt could find its way into your mind. “I want you to stay with me. There’s nothin’ on what’s left of this fuckin’ earth I want more than for you to stay here with me. But what you want matters to me a hell of a lot more than what I want.” He reached up, lightly stroking your cheek with his thumb. “If you decide you wanna go home and go back to your family—back to your old man—then that’s where I’ll take you. Okay?”

Your father would give you an ultimatum. But Joel? He was giving you a choice. And he’d respect that choice.

“I wanna free you from your cage, my little dove. But I think we both know you’ve gotta make the choice to fly outta there on your own.” He lightly swept his thumb over your quivering bottom lip, his eyes meeting yours as he whispered, “Door’s wide open for you. What you do next is all up to you.”

“I’m afraid, Joel,” you confessed. A tear slipped from the corner of your eye and rolled its way down the side of your face. He was quick to wipe it away, along with the others that followed. “I do want out of my cage. I really, really do. But I’m terrified. All I have ever known is my family and my faith. I have never been apart from my father and my sisters.”

His expression softened. “I know you’re scared. Can’t promise you things will be easy, but there is one thing I can promise you.”

“What’s that?” you questioned, then waited with baited breath.

He gingerly cupped your cheek in his large palm. “I’ve got you,” he swore to you, just like he had done so back at the bar. “If you decide to stay, I promise I’ll take real, real good care of you, alright? For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. You won’t ever have to worry ‘bout a thing with me by your side. Swear it on my life.”

Warmth blossomed in your heartspace and finally, you stopped trembling. Lifting a hand, you curled your fingers around his wrist as your gaze fell to his mouth. “Joel?”

“What is it, darlin’ girl?”

“Kiss me. Please.”

With a gentle nod, Joel’s other hand found your hip, the warmth of it seeping through the cotton fabric of your dress. Leaning in, he brushed his lips against yours. It was a chaste thing, soft and innocent until you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to you. “Babygirl,” he mumbled against your lips. He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue through your parted lips and into your mouth. He tasted like bold bourbon and citrus beer. There was a faint hint of tobacco too—you recalled him admitting to you one night in the church house that while he wasn’t all that much of a smoker, at least not like he used to be when living in the zones, he would occasionally partake in the habit if he happened to come across a pack of cigarettes while out on patrol, pairing the nicotine with a drink. He tasted delicious. He tasted delicious because he tasted like yours.

You sank back into the worn, supple brown leather of his couch, tugging him forward so he sank in with you. Over you. Releasing your near death grip on his collar, you managed to wedge your hands in between your bodies and began to claw furiously at the buttons of his shirt, your fingers shaking out of pure desperation to feel him. It wasn’t until you were halfway down that he finally noticed what you were doing and leaned back, catching both of your wrists.

“Baby, wait,” he panted, shaking his head. “Don’t think now’s a good time for that—”

“Joel, please,” you pleaded, the intense ache between your thighs almost too much for you to bear. “Please. I want it. I want you.”

“S’been a rough night for you.” Joel’s voice was hoarse—strained, like he was aching just as much, if not more. “You’re real emotional right now. Vulnerable. Last thing I want is to take advantage of you at a time like this.”

You frowned. Had Seth’s words gotten into his head?

“You’re not taking advantage of me.”

“Darlin’ I just don’t think we should—”

“Joel, please,” you begged him again. “I was so good for you, was I not? Wasn’t I patient, just like you asked me to be?”

His lips thinned into a tight line. He wouldn’t be able to resist much longer. You, his beautiful little temptress of Eden.

“I waited for so long,” you reminded him. “I’ve been so, so good for you. Please, just make me yours already. I don’t want to think about anything else right now. I just want to be with you. Please, Joel. I need you so badly it hurts.”

Christ.

No man could stand it. No man could possibly have the strength to deny you.

With a look of utter defeat, he folded. Before he could say another word or make another move, your greedy mouth was on his, and you kissed him with fervor, with urgency, as you finished the task of unbuttoning his shirt. Pushing it off of his shoulders, the corduroy fabric fell into a crumpled heap behind him, nearly knocking the glass of water off the coffee table. You broke away from him and shamelessly marveled at his mouth watering form—you admired the way miles of smooth, tanned skin stretched over his wide shoulders, broad chest and soft, soft belly. Arousal pooled between your legs and you reached out and raked your fingers down his chest, and over his stomach, going lower and lower, following the trail of coarse, dark hair that led you to his brown leather belt. You clumsily started fumbling with the brass buckle until he caught your hands once more.

“Slow down, my little dove,” he murmured. “No need to rush this. We’ve got all night.” He stood up and held his hand out to you. Time blurred a bit—maybe it was your nervousness mingled with the eager anticipation of what was to come, but there seemed to be a small gap in your memory, a blank space that spanned from the moment you rose off the couch until the moment you found yourself standing in his bedroom where you were about to answer to the call of the flesh.

Dropping your hand, Joel switched on the lamp on his bedside table and kicked off his boots before taking you into his arms. “C’mere, honey.” He nuzzled your cheek with the tip of his nose as he spoke, the scruff of his beard tickling your cheek. “Couple’a rules, sweet girl. I do somethin’ that you don’t like, you tell me. You want me to stop, you tell me to sto—”

Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, you slowly lowered yourself down onto the floor and knelt at his feet with purpose, as if kneeling before an altar, a sacred, holy space. Though you felt anxious, you were eager to worship. “I haven’t forgotten about what I said earlier tonight,” you cooed, noticing the mild look of surprise on his face. “I said I’d make it up to you and I intend on keeping my word.”

All the blood in his body rushed south to his cock and it strained painfully against the crotch of his jeans. “Baby, I—” Again, he was cut off, only this time by the sound of his own groan when your hand brushed up the front of his thigh and over his growing bulge. He glanced down, his heart thrumming painfully hard against his sternum as he watched you reach for his belt buckle.

With all your might, you willed your hands so as not to tremble. It was self-explanatory, what you were about to do, but your total lack of experience sowed seeds of doubt into your mind—you wanted to make him feel good, just like he had made you feel good outside of the church house during services. Just how you knew he would make you feel tonight.

Hand still over his buckle, you pressed the tenderest of kisses to his bulge through his jeans. Then, turning your head, you rested your cheek on one of his thick, blue denim clad thighs and peered up at him through your eyelashes with a small, nervous smile as you confessed what he already knew. “I’ve never done this before.”

Oh, how sweet and endearing you were. Joel reached down and smoothed your hair back and away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. “S’alright, honey,” he crooned, grazing the silkiness of your cheek with his index finger. “I’ll walk you through it. Teach you how to be a real good girl and suck my cock just the way I like it. That what you want, my little dove?”

His filth made your cunt clench hard around nothing.

Slowly lifting your head off of his thigh, you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and managed a clear, consenting nod as your hands fumbled with his buckle, the clinking sound of metal ringing loudly in your ears. You undid the button on his jeans and pulled down his zipper, your throat drying when you saw the outline of him, his size intimidating even behind the cotton fabric of his faded, black boxer briefs.

With a harsh swallow, you glanced up at him, silently asking him for his permission to continue.

Such a polite little thing, Joel thought to himself. “Go on, sweetheart,” he encouraged.

You tugged his jeans down to the middle of his thighs and hooked your index fingers underneath the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs, pulling them down and freeing his cock. There was a deep, swooping sensation in your belly as you watched it slap up against the lower part of his abdomen. After many nights of sitting in his lap, feeling him through his clothes, grinding your cunt down onto him, you thought you’d at the very least had an idea of what you would be in for, but oh, how wrong you had been. He was so much bigger than you could have imagined, and your stomach swooped again when you realized he was not going to fit. Anywhere.

Licking away the dryness of your lips, you take him in one of your hands, feeling the heaviness of his length in your palm. He was so long and so, so thick.

“Oh fuck,” Joel hissed the curse through gritted teeth, his hips jerking forward involuntarily as your touch sent a charged jolt of electricity shooting up the length of his spine. He looked down at you, his pupils blown wide with arousal. Christ. You hadn’t even done anything to him yet, but seeing you sitting so prettily at his feet was almost enough to make him come on the spot.

Delicately wrapping your hand around him, you found yourself almost in awe at the way your fingertips barely, just barely, touched. The sheer size of his cock dwarfed your hand, and made it seem so much smaller than it really was.

“You’re so big,” you murmured, echoing your thoughts. You licked at your lips again, suddenly feeling ravenous, an appetite that had seemingly come out of nowhere making you salivate. The tip of him was flushed red, slit already glistening—how badly you wanted, needed a taste. Never, ever, did you think you would be down on your knees for anything but prayer, but there you were, starved and desperate to bite into the forbidden fruit.

“What’re you waitin’ for, darlin’ girl?” he croaked.

“Permission,” you replied, sweetly.

“Go right ahead, baby. S’all yours—I’m all yours.”

Yours.

Yours, yours, yours.

Finding your first push of courage, you leaned forward and so carefully swept your tongue along the tip of his length, collecting the slight saltiness leaking from the slit and getting your first delectable taste. With your hand still wrapped firmly around his base, you looked up, your eyes locked on Joel’s face as you flicked your tongue up against the rigid underside of his cock.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Joel groaned, all of the muscles in his stomach already pulling taut when he felt you dragging your tongue in a slow, purposeful lick along the length of him. “Babygirl.”

“Is that good?” you asked him, sounding hopeful. “Am I doing good?”

“Doin’ so, so fuckin’ good for me, sweetheart. Look so fuckin’ pretty down on your knees for me.”

Pleased, you wrapped your mouth around the head of his length, pressing forward and taking him in as far as you possibly could—which, in all fairness, wasn’t very far. At least not as far as you would have liked. Another groan tore itself from the depths of his chest as your plush, plump lips sealed around him, your tongue warm and wet on the underside of his cock. Moving both of your hands to rest on the sides of his thighs, you began to move your head back and forth, following what felt most natural to you. The nerves you initially felt slowly but surely dissipated, vanishing one by one with every curse, every tremble, every sharp breath.

Joel resisted the urge to buck his hips forward, fought the desire to feel himself at the back of your throat. He needed to be gentle, so careful with such an innocent, pliant thing who had much, much to learn. “Sweet little fuckin’ mouth feels so good around my cock, baby, just like I fuckin’ knew it would. Y’think it can take more of me, little dove? Hm?”

You hummed, the vibration intensifying his pleasure.

“Yeah? Y’trust me?”

Your reply came in the form of a muffled, “Mhm.”

Joel reached down and cradled the back of your head in the palm of his hand. He carefully guided you further onto his throbbing length, slowly feeding you one inch at a time. Your fingers dug into the denim of his jeans. He was much more than a mouthful for you, and you could only take about half of him before he hit the back of your throat, prompting you to gag around him. Drool dribbled out from the corners of your mouth and down the sides your chin, dripping onto your lap.

“Oh fuck, sweetheart. Yeah, that’s it. Little more now, honey,” Joel encouraged. He bucked his hips forward, his head slipping further down your throat. Just when you felt like you were about to choke, he pulled out and you tried your hardest not to cough and sputter as you took in a much needed, precious breath of air. He gave you a few seconds or so to finish catching your breath as he shoved his jeans and boxer briefs further down his legs. He stepped out of the articles of clothing and kicked them somewhere off to the aside, standing before you completely bare. “Open up.”

Your absolute devotion to him bred sweet submission, so as worried as you were that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, you nodded obediently and very willingly did as you were told. 

He guided himself right back into your waiting mouth, pressing deeply. You tried to relax your jaw, reminding yourself to breathe in and out through your nose. Tears streamed down the sides of your face as you did your best to forestall another gag. “Little bit more,” he said, thrusting his hips in a slow, steady controlled rhythm. He advanced even further into your mouth—trusting he wouldn’t suffocate you, nor push you too far past your limits, you opened up wider. He moaned, “Yeah, baby. That’s my good girl. That’s my good fuckin’ girl.”

With a bit of newfound confidence, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him. You swiped your tongue along the thick, prominent vein on the underside of his cock, earning yourself more of his sweet, sweet praise.

“Fuck, yeah, suck me off, sweetheart. This pretty little mouth was fuckin’ made for sin,” he breathed, guiding your head back and forth with a firm, but gentle hand.

You moaned, the noise muffled around his length. Slick soaked through your panties and coated the insides of your thighs. With another moan, you tightly squeezed your legs together, inwardly reminding yourself that patience was a virtue.

Noticing the way you had shifted, Joel moved his hand from the back of your head, lightly curling his fingers around your jaw. He pulled you off of his cock, a loud, lewd popping sound bouncing off the sage green walls of his bedroom. “C’mere, baby.” He grabbed your arms, effortlessly hoisting you up to your feet.

“What’s wrong?” you questioned him worriedly. “Did I do something wrong?”

Chuckling softly, he brushed a finger along the strap of your dress. You could do no wrong, his perfect, perfect girl. “Of course not, sweet girl. You did so fuckin’ good for me,” Joel reassured you, lightly tracing along your collarbone with his finger and making your flesh erupt in goosebumps. He leaned forward and feathered a kiss onto your lips, murmuring against them, “Are you wet, little dove?”

Before you could even process the query and generate some kind of coherent response, he dove his opposite hand between your thighs, cupping your warm heat in his palm. At this, your weak knees buckled, prompting you to reach out and grab onto his arms to hold steady and keep yourself from falling into a helpless heap on the floor.

“Oh, honey. You’re soaked. That what sucking my cock does to you?” he cooed. He peppered another kiss, this one onto the corner of your mouth. His voice lowered another octave. “Poor little thing. She needs me, don’t she? Needs me to take care of her?”

You whimpered. “Yes.”

“Manners, babygirl,” he reminded you, skimming your cheek with his nose. “Yes, what?”

“Yes, please.”

Humming in approval, Joel withdrew his hand from in between your legs and guided you backwards towards his bed. “Sit,” he commanded gently, bidding you to let go of him. “Arms up.”

Reaching for the hem of your dress, he took great care in pulling it over your head, then discarded the vibrant yellow material over his shoulder, leaving you in nothing but your cowboy boots and thin, cotton white panties. Without a word, he knelt before you and pulled off one boot, and then the other, setting them both aside. He hooked two fingers underneath the elastic waistband of your underwear, coaxing you to lift your bottom off of the bed, just long enough for him to pull them down and slide them down your legs. He was so tender in the manner in which he undressed you.

“Fuckin’ beautiful, beautiful girl,” Joel praised. His dark gaze dragged down the length of your body as you sat before him wearing nothing but the delicate, gold chain around your neck. The holy cross nestled between your supple breasts gleamed in the light of the lamp on the nightstand. He would leave it on until your decision was made, set in stone. “My pretty little dove.”

“Joel.” You whimpered his name, hands curling around fistfuls of his dark blue sheets. You were drenched now, in dire need of some relief. If he didn’t touch you where you needed him most, you would surely lose your mind.

Desperate, you leaned back slightly onto his bed and parted your knees, your folds glistening as you showed him just how badly you needed him.

Joel groaned, almost visibly salivating at the sight. The blazing heat in his eyes sent ripples of desire coursing through your body, straight to your throbbing core.

You opened wider. “Please.”

“Christ, babygirl. Already soakin’ the sheets.” Sliding a finger up along the seam of your pussy, he grazed your clit, the touch light, but somehow still enough to make your hips arch off the mattress as white-hot pinpricks of pleasure danced their way up your spine. He lowered his head and leaned in, your sweet scent drawing him in like a moth to a flame. Just when you were about to start pleading him for more, he dipped his face into the apex of your thighs, his mouth finally, finally, meeting your wet heat.

“Oh!” you gasped, your head falling back. “Fuck!”

Against you, his lips curled upwards into a wicked grin. He’d never heard you curse before, not until now.

Joel took his time devouring you, savoring the essence of your cunt with each broad stroke of his tongue. Sealing his lips around your clit, he flicked the swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves over and over again, eliciting from you some of the sweetest noises that he had ever heard in his entire life. In preparation for what you both knew was to come, he pushed one finger inside of you, the invasion causing you to fist his sheets even harder. He then slipped in a second finger, groaning in sheer, carnal bliss at how your walls squeezed them, at the mere thought of them squeezing his cock in the same manner. How was it that you felt so much tighter this time around?

“Oh God.”

You shouldn’t be saying His name. Not like this.

Not when something this sinful was being done to you.

Hungrily, Joel lapped at you, curling both of his fingers in an upwards motion to hit the perfect spot. He knew you were close, felt it in the way that you squirmed and writhed. Draping his arm across your hips, he pinned them down onto the bed, holding you still as he chased your high as if it were his own.

“Joel,” you chanted his name over and over again in a fevered prayer. Releasing the sheets, your hands found his hair, tangling themselves in his curls. Your head fell back, and you cursed at the ceiling of his bedroom. “Fuck, fuck, fuck Joel—”

Pushing onto his mouth, you came, moaning his name so loudly you were certain the whole neighborhood was getting an earful.

Joel pulled back, his beard and mustache slicked with your spend. “S’right, honey,” he crooned, his digits still buried to the knuckle as he helped you to ride out your wave of ecstasy. Eventually, when he pulled them out, you tried closing your shaking legs. He tsked and shook his head, wrenching them open further. “No, no, baby. Keep those pretty thighs open for me. Wanna see her.” He admired his work, his cock twitching at the sight of your pussy, swollen and shining, and ready to take him.

Like earlier, there was another brief skip in time.

Mind still in a haze, you hadn’t even realized that he’d risen to his feet and guided you further up onto his bed, not until you were lying on your back with your head on his pillow and he was hovering over you, his hard length brushing against one of your messy, inner thighs when he settled himself between your legs. 

Your heart began to pound in a mingle of both fear and excitement.

Joel’s eyes met yours. His pupils were blown so wide, there was not one, single trace of brown anywhere to be seen. “Y’absolutely sure about this, little dove?”

Your response came without hesitation. “Yes. I’m sure.”

He pressed a kiss to the underside of your jaw. Your submission was a gift, and he would cherish every last second of your surrender to him, savor it for as long as he possibly could. His lips, soft and warm, skimmed along the column of your throat, leaving a trail of fresh goosebumps in their wake.

If, by some chance, you decided that you wanted to go back to your father and to your faith, Joel didn’t know how he would find it in himself to let you go, not after this. Of course, he would have to let go, though.

The last thing he wanted was to help free you from one cage just to stick you right back into another. While he was no stranger to loss, he had to admit to himself that to lose you would be a knife to whatever was left of his heart.

Shoving the thought out of his mind, he reached down and gripped the base of his cock, pumping it in his fist before running the leaking head along your puffy lips, coating himself in your wetness with the hope it would ease some of the pain you were bound to feel. “Ready, babygirl?” he asked you, lightly teasing your entrance. “Might hurt a bit. M’gonna go slow. Just need you to relax for me, alright?”

“Okay.”

“I’ve got you,” he promised.

You nodded, saying softly, “I know.”

Though he knew he had all of your trust, Joel could still sense your anxiousness. He reached out for your hand, lacing your fingers together with his own as he gingerly pressed forward and eased himself into you, taking the very innocence you had been taught your entire life to preserve, one slow, careful inch at a time.

“Oh—Joel!” You cried loudly at the initial stretch, your pretty face scrunching in discomfort. Tightly slamming your eyes shut, sparks flew behind your eyelids when he finally bottomed out. The burning sting in between your thighs was too overwhelming, almost impossible to cope with. He felt so enormous within you, you could have sworn he was in your belly. Another broken cry fell from your lips and he swallowed it with a comforting kiss.

“Jesus Christ,” he hissed against your lips, a thin sheen of sweat coating his brow, neck, and chest. He wasn’t sure where he found the strength, but he suppressed his urge to thrust. Instead, he dropped his face into the hollow of your neck and waited, giving you the chance to adjust to him. He mumbled against your skin. “Doin’ so good for me, sweet girl. Y’know that? You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me.”

Even in discomfort, you preened at his praise.

He squeezed your hand, and after a minute, he gave an experimental thrust of his hips—and then another and another before he ceased his movement once again. He was so big and you were so deliciously full of him.

Eventually, the pain subsided, and you found yourself asking, no, begging for more. “Move.” Your other hand found itself cupping the side of his face, coaxing him to lift his head and allowing your gazes to meet. Your soft, plush thighs parted further to help accommodate the breadth of his hips. “Please, Joel. I need you to move—I need you to fuck me.”

Surely, you would be the death of him.

He drew his hips back with cautious, tender care, then advanced in the same manner to fill your precious cunt all over again. He did it over and over, your pleasured moans encouraging him to begin picking up the pace. He drove his cock in and out of your weeping pussy, the slapping of flesh against flesh, the lewd, wet squelch of you around him inspiring him to fuck you harder, faster. And the noises you were making?

There was something oh so beautiful about your cries, sweet raptures of submission as you laid there beneath him, all too graciously taking everything he had to give you like the good, good, good girl you were for him.

“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart,” Joel rasped. “Look at you—look at the way you take my fuckin’ cock, honey.”

And you did.

Glancing down, your gaze fell between your bodies and you watched in awe, openly marveled at the way Joel slid in and out of your cunt, how he knocked hard so deeply inside of you, driving himself as far as he could possibly go.

“Fuck Joel, I’m gonna—” You tried warning him as the pressure in your belly neared its peak, but you tumbled over the edge before you even had the chance to finish your sentence. Arching up off off the bed, you pressed your chest against his, your fingers squeezing his own so hard you feared you might break them.

“That’s it babygirl, let go,” he grunted, speeding up his thrusts. “Squeeze my fuckin’ cock—just like that. Good girl. My perfect, perfect girl.”

You didn’t quite get the chance to let the praise sink in.

Joel pulled himself out of you, and with ease, he flipped you over onto your belly. His hands gripped your hips and pulled them up off the mattress, his fingers moving to firmly knead the fleshiest part of your ass. He leaned over you, the head of his cock nudging at your hole. “Y’think you can handle a little bit more, sweetheart?” he whispered the question into a tumble of messy hair, the delicate scent of the lavender shampoo you used to wash it filling his senses. “Answer me, little dove.”

“Yes,” you replied breathlessly with a nod. “I can.”

With a satisfied hum, Joel sank into you, this second stretch not quite as overwhelming at the first, but still intense. “Relax,” he murmured, hunching further over your quivering back. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head and then leaned down to brace his hands on either side of you. “Need you to be sweet for me just a bit longer, okay, baby?”

“God,” you whimpered when the heaviness of his balls came to rest on your sensitive clit.

It was the second time you’d uttered His name.

Joel almost grinned at the irony. He found his rhythm, groaning in gut-deep satisfaction with each snap of his hips—each smooth stroke in and each smooth stroke out.

“Oh fuck, sweet girl.” Heaven was indeed a real place, and Joel Miller was buried in it to the hilt, right at this very moment.

He was getting closer and closer.

Maybe it was your eagerness to help him reach his own release mingled with the pride you knew you would feel once you did that gave you a second wind, a fresh, new burst of energy. You planted your hands firmly on his pillow. Rolling your bottom lip between your teeth, you curved your spine and pushed back onto Joel with purpose, meeting his thrusts halfway as you rode his aching length to the satiation that waited for him at the end.

“There’s my girl,” he rasped. “Oh fuckin’ Christ—”

No way he could live his life without you now.

He needed you.

He needed you so much more than you needed him.

Joel slipped an arm around your shoulders, across your chest.

“Oh!” you gasped as he then yanked you back, pulling you flush against him. The rough crash of your back against his chest, combined with the angle in which he was fucking you knocked the wind out of your lungs.

His lips were at the shell of your ear. “Stay,” he panted, his breath hot against your cheekbone. He wrapped his other hand lightly around your throat. Relentless, were his hips now—his movements had become frantic. Desperate. “Stay with me, baby.”

Even as you fought to catch your breath in the position he had you in, you picked up on the fact that he wasn’t asking you of it, nor was he demanding you of it.

He was begging you.

Him, the most feared man in this town. Begging you?

“Joel,” you choked.

“Please, my little dove,” he pleaded, turning your head towards him. His mouth was then on the corner of your own, his beard roughly scratching the soft and delicate flesh of your cheek. “I need you, babygirl. Stay with me. Please, just fuckin’ stay with me.”

Your hands curled around his wrists. “Yes, I’ll stay,” you moaned. “I’m yours, Joel. I’m all yours. I—I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’ll stay with you.”

A low, guttural sound rumbled through his chest. Joel firmly took hold of your cross, and without so much as a warning, he ripped the chain from around your neck and tossed it somewhere over his shoulder. He heard it land on the hardwood floor with the tiniest, faint clink the moment he spilled into you, ropes of warm release coating your fluttering walls. Curses and groans spilled from his lips and into your neck. Your cunt clutched at his pulsing cock, greedy for every last drop of his spend she could get.  

Once you were filled, you both collapsed beside each other on the bed, heaving to catch a steady breath.

“Y’okay, sweetheart?” Joel managed to ask, his chest still rising and falling rapidly.

Exhausted, all you could do was nod and utter, “Mhm.”

He exhaled an amused huff through his nose. “C’mere.” He reached for you and pulled you against his side. He draped an arm around your shoulders, holding you as close to him as was possible. “Y’did so good, honey.”

Your mouth curled into a small, contented smile.

Several minutes had passed by, and despite telling him that you were too tired to even think about moving, Joel made you get up and use the bathroom, and while you did so, he ran a clean washcloth under warm water. “Here, darlin’. Let me clean you up,” he’d said, his lips meeting your forehead in a loving token of affection before he sank down onto one knee and ran the damp cloth along the insides of your thighs. He took extreme care when he wiped at your swollen folds, knowing you were still sensitive to the touch. “There we go. All done, now.”

Not long after, you were both back in his bed, wrapped up in his sheets.

Yawning, you nuzzled into bare his chest, your eyelids feeling heavier and heavier with each and every second that ticked by. You’d started drifting off when you heard his voice.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” you answered sleepily, eyes still closed.

“Did you mean what you said?”

“Mean what, Joel?”

There was a brief pause. “Y’know, when you said you’d stay with me.”

Snuggling closer to him, you mumbled, “Mhm. Of course I did.”

“S’not gonna be easy,” Joel murmured into your hair.

“I know.” You yawned. “But I have you.”

“You do. You’ve got me—and I’ve got you, babygirl.”

“Mm. I know that too, Joel.”

You felt him kiss the top of your head and then fell fast asleep in his arms.

The sun bloomed over the Grand Tetons.

Your father would wake soon, that’s to say if he wasn’t up already.

The nerves began to set in.

Joel must have sensed it. “Breathe, baby. S’gonna be okay,” he soothed, squeezing your hand.

With one of his warmer, heavier jackets that normally didn’t see the light of day until winter season draped around your shoulders, the two of you made your way down the road and towards your house. Or better said, towards your father’s house. Because after what you were about to do, that yellow and white cottage would no longer be a place you could call home.

He led you up to the porch. “Y’sure you don’t want me to go in there with you?” he asked, quietly.

You could have laughed. You almost did.

“Do you believe that to be a wise choice?”

“No, I reckon it ain’t the best idea,” Joel admitted with a sigh, raking his free hand through his unkempt, salt and pepper hair. He looked up at the house, then back at you. “Look, little dove. No matter what happens in there, just know that everythin’ will be alright. M’gonna take care of you. For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. I’ll try my hardest to be everythin’ you need.”

“You already are, Joel,” you said, your gaze earnest.

His chest swelled with warmth.

Truth be told, Joel didn’t know how he had managed to defy the odds—how he, of all people, had managed to make his way into that sweet, innocent, beautiful little heart of yours, but somehow he did, and he would not take this responsibility lightly.

He brushed your lips with his and promised, “Gonna be waitin’ right here, okay?”

“Okay.” Inhaling deeply, you willed yourself to let go of his hand and took a step back. You then started up the porch steps on wobbling legs. When you made it to the top, you glanced over your shoulder at Joel, who gave you a subtle nod of encouragement. Exhaling slowly, you reached for the knob with trembling fingers and turned it, opening the door. You stepped inside, your heart dropping into your stomach when you saw your father sitting there at the foot of the staircase, as if he’d been waiting for you. He had been waiting for you. Fully dressed, he sat on the second to last step with both hands folded on his bible in his lap, a rosary clutched between them. “Papa?”

He said nothing. Instead, he silently observed you—his eyes glazed over the men’s jacket and the short dress you were underneath it, the disheveled, loose hair and kiss swollen lips. Your holy cross nowhere to be seen.

“Papa.” You swallowed harshly and shifted your weight anxiously from the heel of one boot to the other. “We, um—we really need to have a talk.”

He peered around you, catching a brief glimpse of the man standing outside, waiting for you at the foot of the porch.

He cleared his throat, lightly. “Yes, child. I suppose that we do.”

Nodding tightly, you turned around and slowly closed the door. Joel’s words rang in your mind over and over, giving you the push of strength you knew you would need.

I’ve got you.

divider credit goes to @saradika 🤍

[sexy-monster-fucker]

Darkness

Mark Hoffman x afab!Reader

details: smut, disgusting street men hitting on reader, lots of flirting, mild biting, oral f!receiving, Mark's constant use of "fuck", unprotected sex, cream pie (please wear protection), Mark low-key being into you calling him detective????, kinda possessive Hoffman

word count: 3,550

a/n: me? late to writing a fic i promised months ago? never lmao. requests are open for more Hoffman fics, I am very excited to write for him

~~~

Loud music, too many people talking, and the smell of alcohol overwhelmed your senses.

You sat at the dim lit bar, slumped over the counter spinning the straw in the drink you did not even finish. Your two friends who you had met here earlier in the night had their backs to you. They had gotten comfortable with two strangers at the bar. Flirting with slurred words from a little too much alcohol was the standard with them.

It was deep into the night, anything besides the bar was closed. You decided you were done with the night out. You tapped your friend closest to you, "I'm heading home. Shoot me a text so I know you make it safe." She nodded still entranced by the man in front of her, "Oh-Okay. See ya'." You threw some cash down on the counter and grabbed your bag.

You squinted your eyes at the bright street lamp directly outside of the bar. It was completely black out other than the lights every few feet. Couples attempting casual hookups, people throwing up surrounded by their friends, and other bar dwellers decorated the streets outside. You tried not to look at anyone in particular, but a group of suspicious looking men caught your eye. Eye contact with one of the members was the biggest mistake of the night. You began walking faster down the street, your bag clutched as firm as possible in your hands.

"Oh- Hey, beautiful!" One of the men approached you from behind. Chills of disgust painted up your arms.

"We saw you checking us out. We can help you home~" Another man stepped in front of you under the street lamp.

You tried your hardest to keep walking forward, ignoring them.

"What's the problem, sweetheart? Don't you want some gentlemen to help you out tonight?" A third at your side. You halted under the brightest light you could find as the fourth man joined them. You were surrounded. With no where else to go, you backed into the pole. "I can make it myself," your voice cracked slightly. You were begging, pleading with the universe for some form of an escape from the situation you were in. A lump was forming in your throat, tears beginning to dance at your eyelids. You were scared.

"Don't get shy, sweetheart. We can take care of you tonight."

They were closing in on you. Your mind was racing for a way out. One of them swatted at the bag in your hand, missing the bag but grabbing the strap. You held on with all your might as he pulled. "Just give me the bag, skank!"

The sound of tires behind you made your heart sink. You were sure this was it, they were going to take you off somewhere. Never to be seen again.

"Do you know these guys?" A rugged voice came from the car. You heard the door open and slam, followed by footsteps behind you. The guy in front of you finally released his grip on your bag, his hands throwing up in the air. You stumbled back slightly, bumping into the man from the car as he was directly behind you. His hand went to your shoulder helping you stabilize, "Are you okay?" You nodded with flushed cheeks.

"Listen, we were just trying to help this chick home. No need to get serious," one of the guys spoke.

"Go ahead and crawl back to where you came from before this does get serious," the man from the car spoke sternly, flashing the gun on his hip at them. The entire group ran off into the night.

Your breath you had been holding in finally released. Your hands were shaking ever so slightly. The man stepped in front of you, looking around for any sign of a group you may have been separated from. He finally turned to face you. You felt your face flush with heat at how handsome he was.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone this late at night?"

"I just left my friends. I just wanted to get home," your hands rubbed up and down your arms. Your eyes scanned over his entire body. He was obviously a cop of some kind. There was also no ring in site. His broad chest and chiseled face made heat flood your body.

"I can take you home. Miss..?"

"Y/N L/N. And you?"

"Detective Hoffman," he held up his badge for you to see, "But you can call me Mark."

Mark led you to his passenger side, opening the door and helping you in. Walking around the vehicle, he joined you inside. You buckled as the car began off. "Just tell me how to get there," he looked over at you.

The ride was silent. Nothing but the whirring of the cars vents and the occasional bump on the road. Each lamp you passed lit up your face as you stared out the window. Mark's eyes stayed straight on the road, one hand on the wheel the other at his side.

"I forgot to say thank you," you broke the silence. His gaze shot over to you, "It's nothing." You smiled at him slightly.

"So, Detective," you spoke with a tease on your tone, "What kind of cases are you working on?"

"You know I can't disclose that to you," he stared at you momentarily.

"Oh, come on! Homicide detective? In this city? I know you've got something good!"

Mark huffed. The car slowly approached a traffic light. Mark's eyes now could not get off of you.

His eyes examined you fully. He noticed how nonchalant you were being with him, as if you had known each other longer than tonight. Your body and legs leaning towards him showing your trust for him. His gaze wandered down to your exposed thighs. The outfit you had wore was not necessarily revealing, just short around the legs. He had to fight the place his mind wanted to go.

Silence returned to the vehicle. You leaned closer to Mark, "Is there anything I can do to say thank you, Detective?" Your hand flattened against the middle console in an attempt to be closer to him. He rolled his shoulders waiting for the light to change. "O-of course not," he choked, "I am just doing my job."

Mark turned his head to look at you better. Red from the light illuminated both your faces in the dark. You swore you had never seen anyone as handsome in this moment.

Green.

Both of you looked forward at the sudden chance, acting as if the moment you had just shared never happened.

The car came to a halt in front of your apartment building. You stared out the window wishing this car ride could last forever. "Well this is me," you shot a smile over at him. Mark stared at you with hooded eyes. Heat flushed every inch of you.

"Thank you, Detect- Mark... thank you, Mark," you looked at him one last time before starting to open your door. His hand gripped you, "Let me walk you inside so I know you make it safe."

Mark got out of the car and walked around, opening your door for you. He extended his hand to you, helping you out of the car. You mumbled a thanks as you stepped up on the sidewalk. Your heart was racing a million miles a minute. Your body wanted him badly. It longed for more than a simple shoulder touch, or grasp of a hand.

You led him into the elevator of your building. Clicking the button for a silent trip up. The ding of each passing floor rang in your ears. Mark stared up at the numbers as they passed, looking over at you every few seconds between. You both jumped slightly as the door opened abruptly. You showed him down the hall to your door.

"Here we are," you leaned your back up against the door. Mark's eyes silently looked you up and down. His pupils were completely blown, his shoulders heavy, and his chest heaving slightly. He looked around the completely empty hallway, "I'm glad to get you home safe."

"Y-Yeah! I can't thank you enough," you blushed when his eyes met yours again. His lip curled into a sort of smirk seeing you flustered. You felt your entire body rush with heat. You stared down at your feet, almost too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

"Well. I'm going to head back out. Have a good night, Y/N," Mark began to walk back towards the elevator.

"Mark?"

He turned around quickly to look at you.

"Do you want to come inside?"

Mark's eyes darkened with your question. His eyes darted around momentarily before rushing over to join you. Hands ghosting down your sides as you turn to get your key in the door. His broad chest was pressed firmly against your back. Chills painted every inch of your body, heat rushing straight to your core. His lips pressed against your ear, "I didn't think you were gonna ask."

Your face grew completely red hot, your hands fumbling with your keys. You wanted inside your apartment so bad, but Mark had you flustered and you could not focus. He rested his chin on your shoulder, "What is it, Y/N? I can help you with the keys since you can't focus." His hand snaked up your arm, wrapping itself around yours to steady it. Guiding it into the lock with ease, he turned it for you. "There you go. Good girl," he growled in your ear. You were puddy in his hands.

You opened the door, leading him into the dark apartment. Mark pulled you flush against his chest, his hands going around your waist. The only glow on his face came from the illuminated numbers on the microwave. It lit his eyes beautifully. His breath was hot against you, his eyes staring as heavily into yours as possible.

"You do this with every girl you rescue off the street?" You teased him.

"Do you do this with every man who rescues you late at night?" Mark chuckled, his hands gliding up and down your curves.

You bit your lip, staring heavily into what little of his eyes you could see. "If they all looked as good as you, I probably would," you taunted him.

"Oh, yeah?" Mark's tone was dark. His lips slipped onto your neck. You threw your head back giving him better access. He decorated your skin with sloppy kisses leading up to your ear, "None of them would make you feel as good as I will."

Instant heat. The growl on his tone made your stomach do a flip. You ran your hands up his chest, playing with his tie. He took in a deep breath, his chest tightening with your touch. Hands gripped your ass tight, pulling you flush against his hard member in his pants. A quiver of a breath escaped you.

Mark crashed his lips into yours suddenly. Sloppy, tongue filled kisses were shared between you. You took his lower lip between your teeth lightly. A gruff "fuck" escaped him. One of his hands went to your hair, forcing your lips as close to his as possible. You were on each other like wild animals; two people who were forced to be apart almost.

Mark grabbed your hand, placing it against the front of his pants. "You've got me fucking worked up, pretty girl," he growled in your ear. You were breathless. Your hand began feeling his member, stroking him to the best of your ability. Mark's breathing kicked up, his shoulders heaved with each breath. A smile creeped upon your face seeing him so caught up with you.

"Keep grinning and I'll fuck you on the floor," Mark huffed at you.

Your entire body was overheating. You wanted him. You needed him.

Your hand released from his member, getting a dissatisfied growl from him. Your fingers toyed with the waist of his pants. Mark tilted his head slightly, staring at you. He could feel you much better than he could see you. His eyes had adjusted, but it was still too dark to make out finer details. You dipped the tips of your fingers down into his pants. Tight belt against his waist stopping your fingers from going past. You could feel the liner of his underwear now, playing with the waistband. Mark heaved a breath feeling your fingers against his skin. Your eyes stared up at him now, your other hand dipping under his overcoat that still decorated his body. Fingers finding his suspender, feeling it all the way down.

Mark's finger went under yours chin, redirecting your attention to his face. He placed a more tender kiss on your lips. Tenderness turned into neediness quickly. The sloppiness from before returned, both of his hands went to your face. His body pushed you into the back of the door. Mark began removing his overcoat, never removing his lips from yours. He threw it into the darkness behind him, his hands returning to your face. Heavy breaths escaped between kisses. Your hands went to each suspender attempting to remove them from his shoulders. He pulled his hands through, desperate for the clothes that he wore to be removed. Hands tugging at the tie around his neck as if it was suddenly choking him.

Mark flipped you around quickly, kisses sloppily being placed on the back of your neck as he attempted to unzip your dress. You shimmied yourself out of it as Mark's hands desperately tugged it down your body. He spun you back around, his lips instantly going to the exposed part of your breast. Hunger painted his figure, teeth digging into your skin. You threw your head back against the door. Blindly, your hands searched his chest for the buttons to his shirt. Mark's hands explored your body as his mouth focused on your chest. Large hands gripped your bare ass.

Two of Mark's fingers felt your wet pussy through your panties. You arched your back into him, getting an amused chuckle from him. "I can't wait to feel you around me as I fuck you," he kissed your cheek.

"Please, Mark," you begged.

Mark pulled back from you, staring down at you. You could see him smile in the dark, "Please, what?"

He was taunting you slightly, wanting you to beg for it.

"Please- fuck me, Mark," you pleaded.

"That's what I thought," Mark kissed you.

He backed away wanting you to lead him to your bedroom. You grabbed him by the wrist, leading him through the darkness to an even darker room. Mark walked slowly, trying to follow your lead around the room. Completely unable to see, he did not move too much. You grabbed both his wrists, pulling him along with you as you slowly sat onto the bed. He kissed you, leaning you down onto the mattress. His kisses ventured down your body, stopping right above your panty-line.

Mark's fingers toyed with the band of your panties, teasing you. You arched your hips up in an attempt to make him do something, a whine escaping you.

"You're so fucking needy," he growled against your skin, following it with a kiss. He pulled your panties down off your legs, the air hitting your slick opening. Mark was directly in front of your need now. One of his fingers dipped into you pulling a moan from your throat. It was so sudden. "Fuck, you're so tight," he growled, his hot breath hitting your exposure. He pumped his finger in and out of you slowly. Shockwaves went through every inch of you. He pulled his finger out, you cried out.

"Christ, you're soaked," he chuckled with satisfaction. That same finger was suddenly pressed firmly against your throbbing clit. You called out his name. He joined you face to face, panting above you as his finger still circled your sensitivity. Your mouth was hung open as if you could not catch your breath. Your hands ran up his chest, you had only unbuttoned the top button with your attempt earlier. Hands played with the small patch of exposed chest hair. You could see his teeth glaring down at you, eyes heavy and dark. You began unbuttoning his shirt further, you wanted to see as much of him as possible. Broad chest decorated with a light amount of hair was hiding under the tightly buttoned shirt. You felt him from as far as your hands could reach down to his neck. Hands resting on his cheeks, you leaned up placing a kiss on him. Lightning was shooting through your body as his circles harshened.

"I'm not gonna let you cum just yet," Mark abruptly removed his finger. You whined and arched your back. "Do you want me to fuck you?" his tone toyed with you. He sat on his knees now, pulling his shirt the rest of the way off. His hands removed his belt with haste.

"Yes, Mark," you swallowed.

He pulled his hard member from his pants. It sprung up, hitting him in the stomach slightly. It's almost as if you could feel your mouth run dry. Hands went to both sides of your body, his nose brushing against yours. You could feel him fighting the pants off his legs. His cock played at your opening, rubbing against your slick. Your chest was heaving with anticipation.

Mark grabbed his cock by the base, lining it up with your opening. He sheathed himself inside you, pulling a moan from both of you. His body fell into you slightly, your breasts pressing against his bare chest. He idled momentarily, bathing in this feeling.

"Fuck, I have never felt a pussy this good," his jaw hung open. Slowly, he picked up the pace. Pulling himself almost completely out before ramming back in. He rested his forehead against yours. You exchanged heavy and hot air. Rhythmically he pumped himself into you.

You wrapped your arms around him, running your nails down his bare back. His lips rested against your ear as his body fell flush with yours, "Yeah? Never been fucked this good, have you?" You could only moan in response. "That's right. And you'll never be fucked this good by anyone else," he growled. Partially claiming ownership over you now, but knowing if this never went further he would be the best fuck of your life.

Your walls began pulsing around him as your orgasm approached. After the tension he had put on your clit, your body was ready to unwind.

"Better not cum before I make you cum," Mark snarled against your neck.

You stared up in the darkness. Focusing, trying your hardest to fight the sensation coming over you while still enjoying his cock inside you. Mark's motions became more aggressive as he felt you pulse. Your chest was growing tight as you took in air rapidly.

"Detective," that slipped out, "Please I want to cum."

Mark sat up slightly, looking into your desperate eyes. "Detective?" you could see his mouth curve into a grin when he realized what you said.

Sitting up fully and throwing your legs over his shoulders, Mark began to fuck you fast and hard. "Want Detective Hoffman to make you cum? Gonna cum all over his cock are you, you dirty girl," Mark teased through his teeth. He passed one of your legs to join the other in one hand as his finger returned to your clit. The sound of skin smacking together along with loud moans from you filled the dark room.

The knot in your stomach was building, you could feel the bottoms of your feet growing warm as your orgasm approached. "Mark, I-I'm gon-gonna cum," you threw your head back into the pillow.

"That's right you are. Cum for me," Mark gritted, his hair falling loosely in his face. You felt your walls tighten and the knot come unraveled in you. Walls fluttered around his cock as your orgasm washed over you. Your back arched off the bed, deepening his cock inside you. "Good girl, fuck," Mark sped up his motions, his orgasm not far behind. He laid your legs back, falling back into his previous position, fucking you harder than he had. Lips crashed into yours, his tongue venturing into your mouth. "You're my girl now. Mine, mine, mine," he growled into your mouth. His motions steadied as he shot inside you. Thick ropes painted your inside, Mark forcing his way as deep in you as possible. Your body was shaking with pleasure.

Mark's body fell on top of yours, heaving breathing coming from him. "Fuck," he mumbled against your skin. You ran your hand up and down his back, petting him slightly. It's as if you both were still catching your breath.

Mark rolled off of you, pulling his cock out with him. He pulled you tightly to his side, placing a kiss on your head. You rested your head on his chest. Your finger ran through his body hair.

That same silence from the car ride returned now. There really was not much to say.

You were happy he was the one who rescued you tonight.

~~~

END

[Thank you for reading!  If you are interested in being tagging in any of my writings don’t be afraid to message me!  All tag lists are open!  I have a master taglist and one for each character!]

Tags:

@sleepybunnybobby |

[banquetwriter]

I saw you were taking requests for Carl grimes so maybe a fluff with Carl and reader who has ADHD and they’re in Alexandria but she’s like hella overstimulated and overwhelmed because everybody and everything’s new and like “better” and she genuinely just does not know what to do with herself. You don’t have to do this btw! Have a wonderful day/night!

୨୧ Breathing ୨୧

pairing: Carl Grimes ♡︎ Fem!Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ crying, some angst, one mention of sex (incredibly mild) small mentions of canonical violence, reader has panic attack

summary: ʚ after being overwhelmed your favorite grime’s comforts you ɞ

Words: 1374

AN: RAAAHHH thank you sm for the request, i tried to focus on how i personally feel when i get overwhelmed and overstimulated. i didn’t make her very bubbly or stereo typically “adhd” however i tried to model it after mine lol

You hated everything about the apocalypse. You hated never feeling safe, never having enough food, and never being clean ever. You hated being on the run always. You fucking hated it.

But still, you found yourself anxious. A nice woman named Deanna sat you down and Interviewed you. Your heart was racing, it had been for a long time. It was the same feeling you felt being adopted by Glenn and Maggie, the unofficial daughter of the couple.

Feeling like you might start crying but you can't pinpoint your feelings. Being so light-headed the air feels like it is made out of cotton candy. You had stayed quiet to avoid any meltdowns in front of anybody.

You had been assigned one big house. Michonne and Rick take one room, Daryl another, and you bunker with Judith. You found her little coos and cries comforting sometimes. They grounded you when you felt clueless.

Judith and most importantly her brother Carl were what got you through everything. Glenn’s death, a man who was your father. Carl had since you got to the prison. It was hard not to fall in love with him. Even if it wasn't the right time or place. You couldn't help it.

It's how you accepted the prison. It's how you accepted what happened at Terminus, and it was going to be how you accepted this new world you found yourself in. Carl got his own room. You weren't upset by it.

He needed his space. He had been through too much. It was after dinner. You were sitting on the stairs. It was all too much. It was going to go away at some point…

You knew it. Nothing was safe forever. You knew that, you weren't some stupid child. The feeling was back of unintelligible panic. The feeling of horror creeping up your throat. The dizziness, and now you couldn't help but cry.

The cool air of the nighttime clung to your skin. You were sweating even though the night was cold. Hot tears streamed down your face. How could you help these people? How could you possibly help? Hell, you were fear-stricken over being someplace new.

You let out a sob you had been holding in for weeks. Everyone was in the house either cleaning up or windowing down for bed. You told them you needed to go on a walk before bed.

‘You were too restless’ that's what you told them. But here you were sitting down on the steps. A full belly, sobbing your eyes out. Carl had noticed of course he had.

You heard the door close behind you. You stood up, the hot tears still streaming down your face. “Hey, woah,” Carl said, clicking the door shut and walking up to you. You couldn't say anything, fear holding your heart.

You speedily tried to wipe the tears away from your face. His hands come down to your shoulders. His fingertips ghost your skin and shirt. “I-I'm sorry,” you mumble out before the tears start spilling from your eyes again.

“Hey hey hey,” he whispers, pulling you into his chest. His strong hand finds its way to the back of your head, the other snaking around your torso. There it was again. His heartbeat thumped through his chest reaching your ears.

“I'm scared,” you whispered. He pulls away from you keeping his hands secured on you. “I-I know you are y/n. I am too. But it's going to be ok, trust me.” he said, his hand coming up to your chin and holding it up. “How do you know we are going to be ok?” you ask, shaking my head.

“I just know,” he said, his voice soft and comforting. “Because I am here. Because you're here with me.

Judith is here, so is my dad, Michonnee, and Daryl…” he said. “We are all here with you. I know how scared you are because-” he started. He shifted his weight on his feet.

You looked up at him. Your eyes are full of tears. The sight alone broke his heart. He promised himself he would always protect you. After you got separated from the prison. He was never ever letting you out of his sight again.

“Because I'm scared too. This place could fall, or not be safe. I'm scared too.” he says leaning much closer to you. “That's not it. It's all so new. Everything is better. I don't even know what to do. I don't remember how not to be so broken.” you whispered.

Your words hit like a confession to a preacher. “Y-Your not broken,” he said trying to comfort you. “No Carl I am. I think we all are. And I don't know how I'm going to do this.” I said, feeling the tears start to slip out.

“You don't have to do this alone, or even right now. Taking it one day at a time would be a good place to start,” he said, trying to wipe your tears away. “Ok.” is all you said, the heat radiating off of him calming your rapid and hyper thoughts.

“Tonight, how about you sleep with me? In my room?” he asks. “Really? What about Judith, what would your dad and Michonne say?” you ask, pressing your body against his. Time seemed to stop. His blue eyes shine into your soul.

“We can keep Judith in there too. Two people watching her is safer anyway. And don't worry about my dad ok? I will talk to him.” he says, moving both of his hands to your cheeks. Placing a small kiss on your forehead.

You swore you could feel your heart soar high above all the clouds and skies. You silently nod your head, “Go and get ready for bed and meet me in my room ok?” he says nodding towards the house. You smiled walking in.

The group looked as you rushed past them. Carl followed suit walking into the house. His hands were on his hips. “Y/n is going to stay with me tonight. In my room.” Carl said, looking at his dad.

Michonne’s eyebrow shot up. She looked at Judith with a smirk and turned around leaving the boys to discuss. “Carl-” Rick says in his stern voice. “It's not like that Dad,” he says, putting his hand out. Rick’s head turned to the side.

“She is scared, Dad. And I made a promise to protect her. She doesn't trust this place yet. I'm not gonna let her go.” Carl says, his face staying stern. He wasn't going to take ‘no’ for an answer. You were all that mattered to him right now.

Rick rubbed his chin, “Look alright. She can stay in your room as long as you take Judith with you.” he said, walking up to his face. Rick used his pointer finger and used it to tap his son's chest. “If I hear any funny business-” he says in full seriousness.

“Ew. Gross dad.” Carl says, rolling his eyes. Walking past him and running up the stairs to the bathroom. He gave a small knock on it. He heard your voice waver out a Small “Yes?” he smiled.

“It's me, Carl. You ready for bed?” he asked you. “A-Almost. Got distracted again,” you shouted from the bathroom. Carl felt his smile grow wider. “I'm gonna put Judith down now ok? Join me when you're ready,” he says, starting to walk away.

“Ok! Thank you!” you shout from the bathroom, continuing to get ready to sleep. Carl brought his baby sister and a crib into his room. Making it all nice for her. That's when you walked in. You were so beautiful.

In a plain new outfit. Eyes red and puffy from crying. You still were the prettiest thing he had ever seen. You silently sat on the bed. Carl smiled at you, something you returned. He took his hat off, placing it on the bedside table. He crawled on the bed and behind you. Beckoning you to join him under the covers.

Something you did with ease. The comforting smell of Carl Grimes fills your nose. As his hands snake around your torso to hug you. His nose gently rubs against your neck.

“I love you.”

[honelle56]

Mpreg hc: dream is on a mission to buy every single pregnancy and parenting book available but he gets way too overwhelmed to actually sit down and read them so george helps him make an excel sheet with the important parts of each book and then they read for 20 min together every night

Let's jump on the mpreg train, shall we? Small drabble:

“Dream, you know I love you a whole lot, but this is getting ridiculous.” George stared at the dozens of books stockpiled on their coffee table. He could’ve sworn that there was already a visible dent in the table from where the books have been amassing over the past few weeks, ever since he took that pregnancy test.

“Huh?” Dream asked when he came back from answering the door. Presumably to accept another order of books if the big box in his hands was anything to go by.

“When do you even want to read all of these? You are aware that the baby is going to be here in six months, and I sincerely hope that you did not plan on spending every single second until then reading every book there is about pregnancy and babies.”

Dream visibly paled at that, letting go of the box and starting to pace through the living room. “You are right, fuck. Six months is not enough time to figure out everything I need to know. Maybe I can learn to read faster? Or- or I could start listening to audiobooks while reading, you know, multi-tasking. And maybe the baby will arrive later, giving us some more time, do you think you can hold them in for a bit longer? I am sure-“

“Dream.” George interrupted, getting up from his perch on the couch to stop his spiraling husband. “Sit down with me?”

Dream still seemed restless but after taking a deep breath he followed George to the couch and sat down next to the smaller who was cupping his small baby bump.

“What is this about, honey?”

Tears filled Dream’s eyes at George’s soft voice. “I-” he tried, willing himself to not freak out. This was George, his husband, soulmate, he wouldn’t run away over some insecurities.

“I guess I am scared to mess this up. I feel like I am flying a plane without a license and blindfolded and I am terrified of being a bad Dad, so I guess I just want to know everything there is to know before the baby gets here. But there is so much to learn, and I don’t think I will ever be fully ready for this.”

Gentle hands cupped his cheeks, willing him to look at George who looked at him with eyes so soft they could only be described as lovestruck. A soft kiss was pressed onto the tip of his nose.

“Thank you for telling me. For what it is worth I think you will be the best Dad, simply because you have a heart so big that I know this kid will be the most loved baby to have ever been born. And yes, we will probably mess up but then we will learn and improve. These books can only teach us so much, I fear the rest will just be learning by doing.”

Dream chuckled, softly caressing George’s belly. He couldn’t wait until he could finally feel them.

“If it makes you feel better, let’s make a deal. Let’s math this out.” George proposed. “No more books. Today we look through the ones we already have and find the important parts. We plan for 20 minutes every evening where we read something about pregnancy and babies. Then we can make an Excel sheet and plan what to read in which order and when.”

Dream didn’t think he could love this man any more than he already did if he tried but every day, he proved him wrong. He would never understand how George just got his brain better than he did himself, but it was in situations like this that he would be forever thankful that they had found each other in this world.

“Let’s do it.” He smiled, pressing a kiss to George's forehead and grabbing two books for them to skip through.

[gracev0609]

Dirty Love

Josh X Danny

A @lipstickitty / gracev0609 collaboration.

We decided to try our hands at angst after getting inspiration from Mt. Joy's song ' Dirty Love '

This is set in a different universe than our previous Josh and Danny by the way! Two different sets of characters!

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI, Angst, Betrayal, Lies, Cheating, Heartbreaking, unwillingness to come to terms with their sexuality and hurting others in the process.

WC: 2.7k

The group was enjoying the evening, taking turns passing a blunt, and drinking way too many white claws. Jake and Sam sat on one side of the fire pit, while Josh, Danny and Alexis, Danny's longtime girlfriend,sat on the other. They were jovial, enjoying their time on break together, it was one of the last evenings they had before tour resumed.

Josh stood from his lawn chair, swaying back and forth slightly from his indulgence,” I'm gonna go inside, gonna get another one. Anyone want another seltzer?”

After taking count he wandered his way across Sam's backyard.

Suddenly Danny announced,” I'll go help him.”

He stood, quickly following him, leaving the rest of them around the warmth of the fire.

Josh was in the kitchen grabbing the beverages from the refrigerator when he heard the sound of the sliding door opening and closing. As soon as the refrigerator door was closed he felt Danny's presence. His body mere inches away, he could feel his body heat against his back.

“Hi Joshy.”

Josh peered over his shoulder and in an instant Danny's soft warm lips were on his. For a split second he melted into the kiss. How he wished that he could forever melt into Danny's warm embrace. Soon enough, he'll be his, Danny said so. Suddenly ice trailed up Josh's spine and he was very aware of what they were doing and where they were doing it .

Pulling away Josh put his hands on Danny's chest, separating them,” Danny stop. Stop. Not here, not now. Not with Alexis out there.”

Danny backed up, until his lower back hit the island,”Fuck. You're right.”

Josh's trailed from Danny's face down to the floor gazing at their shoes,” When… when are you going to do it. When are you breaking up with Alexis?”

Quietly Danny mumbled,”I don't know.”

Josh's brows furrow,” You don't know? You never know. Y-you always have an excuse Danny. First her grandfather died, and I understood. Then her dog was sick, and I understood. But fuck Daniel it's been 6 months, I'm tired of being a secret.”

“I know. I know you are.”

Josh balled his fists, energy coursing through his veins,” Jesus Christ Daniel. We keep doing this, and you keep claiming ‘ that you love me and want to be with me’ but you don't break it off. You don't even want Sam or Jake to know about us. What am I? Just your Dirty Love?! All I want are your eyes on mine. I need more! I- I need commitment and accountability, I can't do this anymore, I can't be the ‘other man’ anymore. It's not fair.”

Danny slowly exhaled,” I'm not ready. I'm not ready for you to be my boyfriend.”

“You can't control who you really are, or what you really want.”

Danny just stared back at him, unable to say anymore.

Josh’s eyes brimmed with tears he was furiously trying to hold back, “So that’s it then. Nothing you said was true?”

Danny also felt the prickle of tears beginning behind his eyes, sniffling them back. “No, Josh it’s not like that. Everything I said was true, or at least… it was at the time. I do love you, you have to believe that. I do want to be with you, but I’m not ready for this. I can’t do this, not now.”

Josh felt his temper rising, the overwhelming sadness and hurt flooding him transforming at least temporarily into rage and the hot tears began to flow. “You know what, that’s fine. Just forget it, forget all of it. I have to go.”

He pushed past Danny and moved to the door, ready to barrel through and make his exit, but the door slamming alerted everyone outside that there was something going on. Danny just watched him leave, knowing nothing he had to say would make the situation any better. Jake offered to go see what was wrong, jogging around the side of the house to see Josh almost collapse into the driver’s seat of his car, sobs wracking his frame. Jake quickened his pace, now running to his brother. Josh wept into his hands for a moment before shaking his head and putting the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life just as Jake reached the car door. He watched Josh reach for the gear shift to move it from park to drive and yanked the door open just before Josh let off the brake.

He quickly sat down in the seat and pulled the door shut behind him, turning to his distraught brother in the driver’s seat. “Hey, what the hell happened?” Jake asked as the car took off, his hand on Josh’s shoulder trying to soothe him.

Josh didn’t even seem to hear him over his own cries and inner turmoil, wiping his tears away with one hand though new ones just replaced them as soon as he was done. “Why did I agree to this? Why did I let myself settle for it? Why did I let him use me?” He turned to look at Jake for a split second, tears clouding his vision too heavily to see much of anything.

“Danny?” Jake sounded totally taken aback, not having known anything about any of it before he got in the car.

A loud sob ripped through Josh’s chest as he nodded. “Josh, pull over.” Jake said firmly, not taking any arguments. Josh nodded again, turning his blinker on and pulling into the first parking lot they came across.

As soon as the car was safely parked, Jake leaned over the console and pulled Josh into his arms, rubbing his back gently as Josh sobbed into his shoulder. “He- he said that he loved me, and that he was going to end things with Alexis. For 6 months he told me that, and I believed him. Why did I believe him? Why wasn’t I good enough? Fuck, how am I supposed to face him next week when we’re back off break?” Josh’s words came out broken, stuttered in between his sobs and heaving breaths.

Jake felt Josh's words rattle his body, they were powerful and he tried his best to not be upset. He wanted to be Josh's comfort,” Josh. You absolutely are good enough. This. This isn't your fault, this is his.”

Josh cried harder as he desperately tried to keep his sobs and wails to a minimum. His body shook and he knew he was soaking Jake's shoulder in tears and snot.

He was blubbering, his head pounding as he wailed,” Why was I so stupid?!”

Jake clung his body closer to his, trying to ease the pain of his broken heart. Jake knew he was feeling intense rejection and embarrassment.

Rubbing his hand up and down his trembling back,” It's okay, you're not stupid Josh. He wasn't telling you the truth.”

After what felt like forever, Josh finally calmed down enough to where he could talk in full sentences again,” So.. I guess you want to know what happened.”

Neatly folding his hands in his lap, Jake nodded,” If you want to tell me, I'm here to listen.”

Josh wiped stray tears from his eyes, and Jake quickly leaned down and opened up his glove box finding brown paper fast food napkins and handing him a small stack.

Josh let out a shaky breath,” Well… around 6 months ago we started getting closer, flirting a ton, talking a ton. Danny.. he- he said he wasn't enjoying being with her anymore. He said he wanted to see what it would be like with a man, wanted to see what it would be like with me. And I fell so hard, so fast. I mean it's Danny!” A small sob escaped his lips and he swiped a scratchy napkin across his eyes once more. “ We slept together, and we kept sleeping together, and we were having so much fun. It felt so easy and wonderful and full of love, but we had to keep it under wraps. And fuck, now here we are. I believed all his lies.”

Jake reached out, squeezing his hand around Josh's,” I'm so sorry Josh.’

🔥🔥

Danny tried his best to compose himself in the kitchen before he walked back outside, but despite his best efforts he knew he still looked a mess. He may have been able to fool Alexis by telling her he just wasn’t feeling well, but he was well aware that Sam knew him like the back of his hand and would instantly know something was off. He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to ease the pounding in his head. With one more deep breath he walked back out to face them.

Just as Danny had known he would, as soon as Sam caught sight of Danny’s face his brows tented in confusion and he looked around the yard, everyone’s drinks scattered around to be forgotten about. The expression on Danny’s face paired with the sound of the twins peeling off out of the driveway painted a picture that Sam was puzzled by and he wanted answers. “What’s the matter? Why did Jake and Josh tear out of here like that?”

Danny tried to keep a straight face, but his guilt was eating him alive. He couldn’t think of an explanation that would satisfy Sam, not with Alexis there and his brain so jumbled.

His hands scrubbed over his face once again as he mumbled, “Please Sam, I’ll tell you later. I can’t talk about it right now.” He pleaded, tears threatening to make another appearance.

Sam’s eyes narrowed, “That’s not gonna work for me. You went in there with my brother and then he takes off like a bat out of hell and you look like you’re about to cry. What the fuck happened in there, Daniel?”

Finally he snapped, “Because I’m the biggest piece of shit in the world, okay?! Because I can’t be who I want to be, because I can’t be honest about any of it! Because I ruined everything”, tears flowing freely now, he pointed in Alexis’ direction, “and I’ve been cheating on her for 6 fucking months!” His head fell into his hands and he finally allowed himself to really cry, sobs tearing through him. Sam's jaw drops, and his eyes go wide.

Alexis stands, her expression mirroring Samuel's,” 6 months?! What the fuck Daniel! I-im done, I'm so fucking done, I'll drop off all of your shit next week.” As she walks away, she raises her middle finger in the air,” I hope her cunt was worth it!”

Sam shook his head, confusion settling in as Danny cried into his palms,” So, what does any of that have to do with Josh?”

Danny lifted his head, his cheeks wet with tears and his eyes bloodshot,” Because I was cheating on Alexis with Josh.”

Sam turned his head, jaw clenching, he knew Josh didn't run out of his home because he was happy. Sam took a seat in the lawn chair Alexis previously inhabited, his mind racing, he wasn't happy. On one hand he was sad for Daniel, he felt like he couldn't be with who he wanted to be with. On the other hand he used Josh, his eldest brother. Crossing his legs Sam huffed,” So.. Do you want to talk about it?”

Danny cried,” I fucked everything up Sam!”

Agreeing, he chuffed,” You really did.”

“ I was comfortable with Alexis, but I loved Josh and I just wasn't ready. I told him I wanted him, and that I loved him, and it was true until it was time to face the music.”

“Ready for what?” Sam clenched his jaw, feeling protective over his brother.

“I wasn't ready for everyone to know that I'm queer too. I've barely wrapped my own mind around it, I only knew that I wanted him. I wasn't ready to take him on dates or answer to fans or -”

“That's really fucking shitty you know.”

“I do know! I'm so fucking stupid! I let everything slip through my fingers, Sam.”

“Honestly Daniel… you dug your grave and now you have to lie in it.” Sam stood,” Go home, pack your ex-girlfriend's shit up, and think of a way you can apologize to Josh. Because what you've just put him through is really shitty and really unfair. You led him on. That's really fucked.”

Without any more discussion Sam walked into his home and began cleaning up the leftover food and empty seltzer cans. Leaving Danny to sit with his thoughts.

🔥🔥

“Jake, why did he lie to me? Did-did I ask too much of him? I can’t trust him anymore, I’ve always been able to trust him, and he ruined that. I mean, we were kids together, all of us, and we’ve been taking on the world together and now look where we are!” Jake took in what his brother was telling him, one hand still rubbing soothing circles on Josh’s back while the other held another stack of napkins to give Josh if he ran out.

Jake’s heart was broken for his older brother, he just wanted to take his pain away from him but he didn’t know how. He couldn’t exactly disagree with Josh, everything he was saying was completely true.

“Honestly I don’t know why he lied, and it was a really shitty thing for him to do. You’re not asking for too much, Josh. I’m sorry it happened and I wish there was more I could do to make it better. How about I run into the store real quick and grab us some supplies and I stay with you for a few days? I don’t want you sitting alone in that house brokenhearted.” Jake offered, looking at Josh’s bloodshot, tired eyes, nose rubbed raw, and tear stained cheeks. Josh just nodded, emotionally drained.

“Switch seats with me while I’m in here, I’ll drive us back.” Jake called over his shoulder as he climbed out of the car and walked into the store. While Josh waited on Jake, his mind raced incessantly. He couldn’t stop thinking of every empty promise Danny ever told him. Most, if not all, of his trust in Danny had been destroyed. The months of Danny holding his heart in his hands, telling him exactly what he wanted to hear almost every single night, sweet nothings whispered in the dark, confessions of love and nights spent holding each other tight, only to be torn apart by one short conversation. Josh hadn’t even been concerned with telling the public, he just wanted to belong to Danny and for Danny to be his like he had promised, he wanted to be able to tell his family about it whether the rest of the world knew it or not.

Jake came out of the store a few minutes later loaded down with snacks, drinks, and anything else he could possibly think of that they might need. He arrived back at the car to see that Josh had in fact done as he asked and moved to the passenger side, and was just leaning his head against the window with his eyes closed.

He loaded all the items in the trunk and put the cart away before climbing back in the car, still idling as neither of them had turned it off. The ride back to Josh’s house was mostly quiet, both of them trying to take in the events of the night.

Back at Josh’s home, they both unloaded the groceries and walked inside, setting everything down and putting it all where it needed to go. They threw a frozen pizza in the oven to bake and brought the snacks into the living room to eat while they watched movies and waited on the pizza.

Conversation stayed pretty light until the movie was on, Jake insisting that they watch all of Josh’s favorite movies to try and cheer him up. Shortly after the opening credits rolled, Josh finally spoke up, “I just.. I really thought we could make it work, ya know? It was everything I wanted, and it all got ripped away in a split second.” His words were soft as he blinked back more tears, not wanting to cry again.

Jake felt his heart crack a little more in his chest and he pulled Josh into his arms on the couch. Josh just let his brother clutch him tightly to his chest, knowing that while everything felt awful in that moment, his twin would get him through it.

Fin.

I know, we're sorry... This one hurt us too 😭

[silly4sillinger]

The Adventures of Bella Pairing: Dad!Matt Rempe x Mom!reader Chapter Five:

Matt's pov

I was exhausted as I pulled up to the house after a long road trip with the team. All I wanted was a hot shower and to crash in my own bed.

But as I walked in, my exhaustion turned to shock and anger. There, in my bed, was a man I didn't recognize, hastily pulling on his clothes. Beside him was Y/N looking guilty and terrified.

"What the fuck!" I yelled. The guy scrambled out of bed, mumbling apologies and excuses, but I barely registered his words. All I could see was red.

"M-Matt, I swear-" Y/N started, but I cut her off.

"No, save it!" I snapped.

Y/N's face paled. "Matt, please, I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I love you."

"A mistake!? You call this a mistake?" I gestured angrily to the empty space where the man had been moments before. "I'm calling off the engagement. And if I find out that your fuckbuddies are around Bella again they're dead."

"I understand," she said quietly. "I'll… I'll leave."

"And Bella?" I asked, my voice softer now, but no less firm. "What about her?"

Y/N took a shaky breath. "I… I'm giving up my rights to her. You were a better parent to her than I was."

"Y/N, you can't just-"

"I need to do what's best for her, Matt." She tells me, getting up. "I'm sorry. I really am, but we both know us co-parenting isn't going to work."

"How do you know that!? You aren't even willing to give it a fucking chance!"

I didn't realize how loud I was being until Bella started crying. I sighed and walked out of the room, making my way to hers.

"You're okay." I sat down on her bed and she climbed into my lap.

As I tried to comfort her, my own emotions overwhelmed me, and tears began to fall. Bella looked up at me, her little face full of concern.

"Why crying?" she asked.

"I'm not, bells," I lied, quickly wiping my face with my hoodie sleeve. "Do you want me to sleep in here with you?"

Bella nodded, sniffling, and I moved so we were laying down, trying my best to fit in her tiny toddler bed.

She played with my hair, just like she used to when she was a baby, twisting it around her tiny finger until she put herself to sleep.

[minnieves]

this is a little late. i'm sorry. anyway, hope you enjoy this one!

bj terry part one, three, four, and five.

new to the bj series? see here for the guide.

bj terry is live...

you look at the screen in front of you. his short introduction moving pass your ears not really understanding them. you closed your eyes. throwing your head back to the headrest of your chair to think for a moment.

"are you tired?" he asked. you slowly moved your gaze back to the screen in front of you. he was still well dressed. nothing off, probably just reading the comments.

you took your phone as terry reads the comments left for him. you opened your chat with taehyun regarding your meeting a week from now. specially since it was the only time available for both. you wanted to know what time he'd be free so you can clear your sched as necessary.

y/n: what time are we on for tuesday?

"katalk," you heard from the stream. making you glance back at it. fingers hovering on your keyboard. terry didn't even acknowledge the sound, talking to the camera.

y/n: i have class until the late afternoon.

"katalk," you heard again.

y/n: if you still have classes late, we can just reschedule. no biggie.

"katalk," you heard again. this time, terry grabbed something from the back of the camera. you're growing irritated with the fact that whoever is messaging him, well gets to message him.

"who the hell?" you asked out loud.

"it's just a blockmate." terry answered. he sat back down, and you checked your phone if taehyun messaged. you placed it down, standing up to grab your dildo and lube from your night stand.

"you look so cute being all jealous," terry spoke. unbuckling his belt. you rolled your eyes as you closed your drawer. "jealous last week, jealous this week."

"you talk like you're rubbing it in my face," you said annoyed. removing your shirt and underwear before plopping on your seat.

"am i not showing you enough?" he asked. pulling his dick and balls out. he lifted his dick to play with his balls in front of the screen. "this not enough?"

"i'm not the one messaging you," you muttered. lubing the dildo in your hands angerly. you feel stupid getting attached to the someone who you masturbates to. "i'm just paying to see you."

"you see more than she can." he muttered. he started pumping his dick. you rubbed your clit. annoyed now for two things. one would be this girl. the second is being turned on despite it.

"put them in," he said. playing with the tip of his cock. as if milking his precum. "wanna see how it stretches you out."

you did as told. slowly easing it inside you despite being used to dildos, this was different. it was new and that you bought it because it resemble terry's. you feel desperate for his attention.

"what a good slut. look at how you take that." he said harshly. "you're getting all worked out over someone who can never compare to you?"

"are you that insecure?" he asked chuckling. slowing his movement and you mimicked. "i cum with you every week and you're whining over her texting me?"

"she sees your face," you moaned with how slowly he's rubbing himself. you don't know whether you're feeling more of the jealousy or more of your horniness towards this man. "she gets to touch you."

"you hear me moan. see my dick. see my torso. listen to my day." he said, sounding angry. he's moving his hand faster, but he's gripping his dick harder. seeing more of the veins in his arms as he does. "you fucking slut."

you moaned. feeling nauseous that tears are prickling in your eyes. you feel like he's scolding you. like he's disappointed. when you realised that, you started to feel like you're crying.

"so desperate for me that the thought of someone else. closer to me, makes you this much bigger of a whore?" he said. moving his hand faster. grunting from probably annoyance of your jealousy.

"fuck you," you cried. being overwhelmed with different emotions. of stress. of jealousy. of pleasure. of anger. of pain. everything in just one session.

"look at yourself," he said. making you snap your head towards the small mirror in your desk. your hand faltering slightly. "see yourself."

you looked flushed. your forehead sweating. your mouth parted. tears streaking down your face. you look different. you closed your eyes wondering how terry would react seeing you crumble in front of him.

"repeat these words as you look at yourself." he said. his hand playing with the tip of his cock. "i am."

"i am," you said voice shaking.

"say your name, or have you forgotten?" he asked. his hand picking up pace so you did as well.

"no, no." you muttered. closing your eyes from the sensitivity of both your body and mind. "y... y/n."

"is a good for nothing," he followed.

"good for n... nothing," you cried.

"slut for terry."

"s... slut for terry," you closed your eyes. moaning from how fast he's going and you following. you feel hot, like you're burning. you also feel out of breathe from crying and moving.

"good girl," he said. making you whimper like a dog who's praised. you cussed at yourself feeling so pathetic. "cum for me you slut."

you came. you fell from your seat. legs shaking and your body bending forward. dildo still burried deep inside you. making your heave and out of breathe. you felt relieved but you feel like your caving for more.

your heart is beating so fast that you feel like you're going to choke from it. your ears are ringing. you closed your eyes feeling that you're about to pass out. and you did.

kang taehyun: just saw your text

kang taehyun: i just got off work

kang taehyun: is 1800 okay?

you knocked at the address taehyun gave you. brushing your hair out a little. it was windy outside, and you wanted to look presentable. he may be just a blockmate, but you just want to be pretty.

"oh, you arrive early." he pointed out as he opened his doors to you. taking a quick glace at your whole outfit. it was the same from when he saw you earlier.

"well, 10 minutes early is considered late to me." you told him. giving him a small smile. moving passed him to remove your shoes. "i hope you don't mind me making myself home."

"oh not at all!" he laughed. walking towards the kitchen. he told you to have dinner there too, to save time for the both of you. his back was on you. "do you want anything to drink?"

"water would do," you told him. glancing around the room. his room caught your attention. seeing how open it was to see. you saw his bed and a few books on his wall.

when you glanced at another room. your brows knitted lightly. it somehow feels familiar despite never being here before.

"here," he told you. following your line of sight. he closed both doors, giving you a small smile. before walking back to the kitchen.

your discussion with taehyun went on for a while. bouncing ideas and solving the case you're given. you knew that it would take a lot of time, thus telling him that you should work together over messages.

you glanced at your phone, seeing that it was already passed midnight. you opened the app when taehyun went to the loo.

terry never misses a session, yet he wasn't live today. there was also no announcements over it. there were tweets asking him what happened but no response. you clicked back to the app, refreshing it a couple of times.

terry didn't go on live.

"what are you looking at?" taehyun commented seeing your brows furrowed at your screen. you looked at him wide eyed. you gave him a small smile dismissing it. "you missed a live or something?" he chuckled.

[peachymilkandcream]

Written In Blood|Part 4|Modern Yandere Levi x Evelyn

(A/N: Compared to my other Yandere's Levi's obsession takes a whole different vibe. He is on something else and I'm totally here for it. Comment to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: implied noncon/dubcon, graphic descriptions of violence, domestic violence, manipulation, mind breaking, yandere behaviour/themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, misogyny, mentions of child abuse, etc.

===============================================

Levi couldn't hide his look of smugness as he sat down across from Evelyn. The poor thing stared at him with wide-eye horror, absolutely appalled that she had just divulged sensitive information to the defense. It was the look that Levi loved to see every single day. The look that they knew how fucked they were against his iron defense.

As each of the prosecutors showed their evidence, Levi got to peek further into the life of this mysterious woman who had been writing all of his darkest fantasies onto paper. What she decorated like, if she was neat or messy, even down to what her schedule was. All things that normally would take weeks to figure out, all presented to him with the ability to take notes as he so pleased.

It was a solid case, clearly they thought that this would be cut and dry, a conviction a natural occurrence. What sane person could poke holes in their immense strategy and overwhelming evidence?

They had never met him.

"Your Honor, I know you and the jury must think that this case is all complete and wrapped up in a bow." He stands and makes broad gestures, always finding that when he looks more sophisticated than he really is the jury is more inclined to listen to him.

He takes a moment to smile at Evelyn before continuing. "However, I have eyewitness statements that the prosecutor admittedly does not keep her doors locked and has a habit of blurting things out that are untrue."

Evelyn stands, a look of anger crossing her face. "You're twisting that!"

"Am I?" He turns to the jury. "I'd like to call your attention to the screen, I had approached Ms. Glass for a discussion when she admitted to these things. Unfortunately for her, I was recording it the whole time."

Audio plays, unmistakably Evelyn's voice crackles out, further solidifying Levi's claims, there was no mistaking that Evelyn had just admitted to the court that she was unreliable as a witness and that all of this was more than likely her own doing.

"So as you can see ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have reason to believe, that Ms. Glass here completely fabricated this entire story after my client entered the apartment innocently to enquire about loud noises he had heard. Strictly to ensure Ms. Glass' safety, and yet she has accused him of a horrendous and life ending crime. I rest my case."

Levi was always blunt, straight to the point, and never carried on. His charm and confidence always won him over. He was a untouchable figure that no one would dare come against. A man of power and prestige, he was king of the world.

===============================================

Evelyn said very little after her stalker was found not guilty, it was the obvious outcome after the presenting of Levi's evidence, but still it felt like she wasn't ready to accept that he would walk away free. Eventually she would come to grips.

Deciding not to rub salt in her fresh wounds Levi didn't try and stop her as she quickly left the courtroom, but he didn't miss her tears. Poor thing.

What he was interested in was her lawyer friend, a shit one at that. But she had a pretty enough face, an alright body, she would do. This would be the key to getting into Evelyn's social circles.

"I must commend you on your efforts. Don't beat yourself up, that was a tough case."

She seems annoyed at first, but he knew the look when she met his eyes. The anger of defeat, stomped down by a pang of attraction. Levi was devastating to anyone.

"It's fine, I just feel bad for her."

"I'm sure she'll survive. But you on the other hand, I've never seen you in the legal world."

"I mostly keep to Evelyn, I don't really do many other clients." She extends a hand, trying to be graceful. "Petra Ral, nice to meet you."

He smiles and takes it, excitement sparking in his eyes. "A pleasure. Listen. Do you want to get out of here? Discuss the case more?"

"I don't know if I should, prosecution and defense and all that."

"Oh please, the trial is over, there's no reason two attractive people can't go get a drink after a long day's work."

A slight blush. "I suppose you're right, one drink couldn't hurt."

Another smile as he takes her hand. "Then what are we waiting for?"

[tabibitto]

Queen of the Ashes | Dainsleif x Reader

characters: Dainsleif

type: TWO PART SERIES, part 2 here

TW: mentions of death (not the reader), survivors guilt, angst with comfort

Gender: feminine reader

Notes: Dainsleif was assigned queensgaurd to the Queen of Khaenri'ah, sworn to protect her. A deadpan, calm and collected man with a heart of unbreakable stone, one only the Queen managed to snuff out from it's stone walls. After the fall of their great kingdom, both people spend their days in depression and guilt. Wondering what they could have done to save the other, and most of all, their lost and destroyed home.

"I am a queen, Dainsleif. Not a butcher." You'd said as your bare and warm body laid pressed against his, fingers dancing across his bare chest, lips moving slowly and precisely as you spoke.

"All rulers are either butchers or meat."

If only you had been less..kind. Less cowardly and more ruthless how your lover and most trusted protector had told you to be. Perhaps if you listened then, you would not be where you were now.

You sat face up on a bed made of wolf and elk furs, deep inside a cave located in the depths of Dragonspine. Across the ocean from your pride and joy. Your realm which had been built without the help or protection of Gods.

Khaenri'ah

A word that brought bittersweet memories.

500 years ago, an Alchemist better known as Gold had pretty much perfected the Art of Khemia. A form of alchemy that focused on creation of life. And as the Queen of Khaenri'ah. You had been witness to her creations many times.

Perhaps if you had listened to your gut feeling and pressured her more to cease her experiments. Your great-something grandchildren could be sat on the throne your great-something grandparents sat on. Wearing a golden crown, the crown that men trembled to behold.

Instead, you let your fear get the best of you. After all, if she was capable of creating a powerful, undying and synthetic human. A fucking dragon of all things. What could she do to you if you told her to get rid of her creations and change alchemy practices.

She wasn't the only responsible. Many people were at fault for Celestia and the Gods to fucking obliterate an entire civilization. But the invasion her monsters caused and their destruction on the realm of Teyvat played a good part.

You failed in your ruling. You were not strict enough. Didn't carry the balls it takes to execute those in your way. And as a result. You lost everything.

According to Dainsleif. This wasn't your fault alone. Everyone in power played a part in it. The people whom you trusted in your council did things behind your back you could not have fathomed. Your close relatives. Brought horrors to Teyvat and Khaenri'ah alike, terrors you failed to imagine.

"Perhaps lack of imagination was my downfall.." You said that day, drinking in your balcony, gazing at the thundering storm of lighting wind and rock that grew closer and closer. A red flower that brought so much warmth it destroyed all it touched.

You let empty tears fall down your cheeks. Feeling a overwhelming fresh feeling on your cheeks as the bitingly cold wind dried your skin and cut where the tears fell.

You failed. And because of you they were all dead.

You could never forget the screams of those poor mothers are they cradled their dead children. Children whom dressed in armor with spears in their hands. Taller and bigger in size then them, yet in a mother's arms, they looked nothing more then small infants.

The panicked look of a child as he ran from the fire, feet and hands scorched before the flames swallowed his cries for his father.

The blood that spilled out of every soldier as they screamed their throat raw in the old tongue.

"Run"

The way it wavered and shook in fear and grief. As mere mortals could do nothing against the wrath of divine beings.

You hated them. You hated yourself.

They destroyed your people and you played your role in making it happen.

Upon all the horrors that replayed in your head every night when you could no longer fight sleep, the one you never forgot. Was that look on his face.

Pure fear and sadness. Not for himself, he never cared about himself like you loved him. It was pure grief, over the fact that he failed to protect you. His queen.

The longing gaze Dainsleif gave you as you both, bloodied and dirty with dust, hidden underneath the small shelter the ruins of your palace provided as you could hear the crackling of fire and faraway screams and cries. The sound that filled the air around you, nauseatingly began to quiet down and became faint.

He stared at you as tears poured down both your cheeks. There was no saving for anyone. This was it.

Two people who failed in their duty, staring at each other as they laid in each other's arms, gripping their torn clothes like it was the last time they would feel each other's warmth.

and it was.

[fiapartridge]

Have will and daisy ever gotten into a big argument? If so what about and how did it go down??

yes 10000% -> their biggest fight was about will moving to california after his second year at bc to play for the sharks

Daisy was pacing around Will's room while Will sat on his bed, his elbows on his knees, trying to make sense of what was happening.

"I can't just go with you, Will!" Daisy was furious. She couldn't believe that he was expecting her to drop everything and move to California with him. Will knew it was bad when she used his first name instead of calling him "baby" like she usually did. "My whole life is here."

"Yeah, but just think about it," Will said, adjusting his position on the edge of the bed. "You have three more years here, Dais. I'll be on the other side of the country! I can't go three years without you!"

Daisy shook her head. "What, and you think I can? It kills me knowing that you'll be so far away for so long. Believe me, I want to be with you - I hate being away from you--"

"So why won't you come with me?"

"Because I won't follow a boy around the country!" she shouted, tears stinging her eyes. "Do you ever wonder why I came to BC? Because it wasn't for you, and it wasn't for Gabe, and it wasn't for anyone else. It was because I wanted to be here for me. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to throw my whole life away just to follow you around like a dog - I won't do it."

Will ran his hand down his face, frustration laced in every inch of him. “There are perfectly good schools in California - you don’t have to give up anything.”

“You’re not listening, Will!” she shook her head as she spoke quieter. “I want to be here. I don’t care if UC Berkeley or any other college has the best biochemistry program in the world - I want to be at BC. I worked so hard to be here. I’m not throwing all of that away.”

He loved Daisy so much, but he wasn't sure he could do long distance - not because it would be hard to be away from her, he knew they would end up FaceTiming every day for as long as they could, and they would both visit each other at least once a month, but he was scared that she would find someone else, someone better, someone who wouldn't abandon her. He didn’t want to lose Daisy, but he was going to lose her if he didn’t let her stay too. He didn’t know what to do.

“So then what are we doing, Dais?” Will asked, tiredness evident in his voice. He couldn’t fathom not being with her.

She exhaled, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know. I think… I think we just need a breather, okay? I’ll call you later,” with that, she grabbed her purse and walked out.

And Will let her.

His roommates immediately stormed into his room after listening in on the conversation from the living room. Sure, eavesdropping was bad, but that wasn’t just Will's girlfriend. She was also their best friend. They hated when she was sad - especially Gabe. He was protective of his younger sister. He knew she had the biggest heart, and to him, it sounded like it was breaking.

"What are you doing, man?" Ryan asked, staring at Will who had his head in his hands as he sat on the bed, replaying the conversation over and over in his mind. And it wasn't just Daisy he was leaving. He was leaving his friends, his family, his teammates. It all just felt like too much. He was overwhelmed, and to make matters worse, Daisy was beyond mad at him. He couldn't take it.

"I don’t know what I’m doing. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing."

"You gotta understand, man, she can't just throw her whole life away for you."

Will nodded. "I know, and I don't want her to. But what am I gonna do without her?"

"You do what you came there to do, dumbass," Gabe added. "You talk to her every second you get, and you play hockey. What, would you rather not have her at all? Because that’s gonna be the case if you keep doing this shit. This is her life we're talking about. This isn't just about you."

Will never really thought about that: the possibility of not having Daisy in his life. It was like living without air to breathe - impossible. And then, he knew he fucked up immensely. It was like a light switched in his brain as he quickly ditched his pity party and ran after Daisy, hoping she hadn't gone too far during the time he was talking to his roommates.

He knew she walked back because she could only get rid of her anger by walking it off and ranting to herself. But she couldn't have gotten that far, right?

Will burst through the front door and took off in the direction he knew Daisy went to get back home. He couldn't stop thinking about how terribly he messed things up. Of course she couldn't follow him across the country. Everything was here for her.

When he caught sight of her down the block, he sprinted as fast as he could to her, finally catching up with the girl.

"I'm sorry!" Will blurted. He watched Daisy stop in her tracks, slowly turn around, and greet him with the saddest face in facial expression history. He couldn't believe he was the one who caused that. He walked closer, watching as she didn't make a single move. She simply stood there, ready to listen. "I shouldn't have expected you to come with me - it was way too much to ask of you. I know your whole entire life is here, and I guess I just… I guess I was just scared that you were going to leave me for someone better, someone who wasn't across the fucking country. It was selfish, and I'm sorry, and I want this to work. I want to be with you - no matter what."

Daisy wiped her mascara-stained cheeks, finally looking Will in the eyes. "I love you," she shook her head. "And I would never do that to you. I would never leave you," she said, the tears rushing back. "We can FaceTime every night, and I'll tell you how my day went, and I'll text you almost every hour, and you'll be so annoyed with me, but I won't care because I need to talk to you every second of the day, and we can visit each other every month - I don't even care if it's just me traveling to you every time, I just want to see you," she choked out a laugh - one of her wonderful, perfect laughs. "I'm not giving up on us."

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Will smiled. "I'm never giving up on us.”

"Good, because I wasn't gonna give you a choice. You're with me whether you want to be or not," she laughed despite her tears.

"Well, then it's good that I want nothing more than to be with you, huh?"

[https-furina]

spoilers for neuvillette’s story quest (completed) utc so be mindful if you’re only like halfway through that i’m gonna talk abt the ending !!

HELLO I AM SCREAMING okay so from the moment where sedene is like “a melusine is being threatened and monsieur neuvillette wants to investigate the case himself!!!” i was like OKAY FATHER I SEE YOU PROTECTING UR CHILDREN 🤭🤭

and then kiara ?!!! is so fucking cute i love her so much but the whole time i was like )): ofc the melusines are discriminated against but its so sad - then she called paimon big sis and i was instantly like ((: happi

charlotte cameo !! hi to the fontainian yanfei /j i got so excited i was like OMG CHARLOTTE !! but then she’s talking abt wanting to interview neuvillette but the palais always said no and i’m like we’re friends with him we could just ask him for u 🤨

the whole time talking to charlotte i was like GUYS we’re supposed to be protecting kiara what if something happens while we’re gone 😭 but then there was CLORINDE AND I SCREAMED

talking abt how she regularly gets her clothes custom made by eloffe and i’m like ma’am you need new ones asap that button is gonna pop any time now- 🌚

the entire experience at the fountain had me crying. from seeing carole with neuvillette to seeing carole be a victim of hate crime (something that indescribably familiar and made me both so angry to see (on her behalf) and also upset…) to vautrin’s mild anger when he realised carole had sacrificed herself just for peace ): he saw his deceased little sister in her and so he made the decision to execute everyone who had wronged carole… fucking in tears the whole time

not to mention neuvillette losing carole (which he must have felt guilt for because he’s the one who brought her to the court in the first place) but then he had to do vautrin’s trial for murdering people as an act of revenge and he followed the law and had to say he was guilty even though he was the only person left who was closest to him ?!

and then we get navia ?!?! content i was like damn hoyo is whipping out the GIRLS FOR THIS STORY HUH !!! i screamed when she said spina di rosula were helping !! i was like damn you two are the cutest now after she screamed her feelings at you and you stood at a grave together 🤭

also no one is talking about how he feels emotions from every single aspect of water; the rivers, the rain, everything. this man must be so incredibly overwhelmed by the constant surge of a complete stranger’s emotions..

ALSO EVERYONE DEFENDING THE MELUSINES AND STAYING CLOSE TO THEM AND PROTECTING THEM AND NEUVILLETTE WAS SEEING IT ALL DESPITE HIS FEARS AND I SOBBED

smuggling case 🤨 yeah we read smth on that monsieur ! *hurried tippytaps back to the palais while wiping my tears* and then navia found smth ?! MA’AM HOW QUICK DO THE SPINA DI ROSULA WORK- fucking underground mob asses /j

and then 🌚 we’re going to the fortress?! and i gasped and got so excited like omg we’re going to my husband’s office 🥰🥰 and the way he greeted us and paimon was like “we’re back!” I LAUGHED SO LOUD

wriothesley hinting at using physical force on the dude threatening melusines and i literally looked at my screen like

but then neuvillette was like “wriothesley.” and i was like LMAOOO WE HAD THE SAME REACTION NEUVI 😭😭 sorry for my husband we forget hes a FUCKING CRIMINAL TOO.

had the biggest BURST OF JOY SEEING SIGEWINNE THATS MY BABY MY SWEET ANGEL MY EVERYTHING AAAAA 💙

when we were talking to the members of the mutual aid network and they mentioned their first president from over four hundred years ago and i sat here with the saddest expression like “vautrin?? 🥹” bc the badges were designed after the medal of peace badges ):

GOING BACK TO WRIO’S OFFICE

sir had the audacity to stand there looking sooooo fucking hot in the centre of the room like hello i’m !!!?!!!?? i’ll have dinner on the table wrio i swear

i literally zoned this part out staring at wrio and giggling over him folding his arms across his chest 🥰

neuvillette learning from wrio that vautrin didn’t hate him and i just… sobbing loudly. the whole story i was just sobbing over neuvillette feeling as though he is an outsider even in today’s society but the society had reformed from that of four hundred years ago and it had reformed around him. like he is the centre of fontaine now, he’s their chief justice, the iudex- god i cried again

also wrio offering tea i swear to god husband i’m 😭😭 i would have had tea with you i promise but there was no option )):

taking that walk with neuvillette and LUMINE ACTUALLY SPOKE I SAT UP SO QUICK LIKE OH KY GOD NO ONLY IS IT THE MOST MEANINGFUL THING SAID BUT SHE ACTUALLY SAID IT TO HIM

the cutscene !!!! officially one of my favourites in the entire game 🥹 (alongside the wriothesley one in the archon quest with clorinde, neuvillette’s archon quest one and kokomi’s arrival in the archon quest) when it started raining and the kid came out to say hydro dragon hydro dragon don’t cry !! ):

and lumine and paimon smiling at him and he smiles too and the rain clears up (that shot of the sun coming out over the opera was GORGEOUS i’m so impressed with how much genshin’s graphics have improved since launch!!) and the PUDDLES ON THE GROUND !!!!

charlotte finally getting that interview she wants so badly scheduled and she’s so excited and thanks him !!! and then just all three women stood there together ?? i took photos of them ofc omg navia and clorinde together- but if you talk to them and charlotte is basically fangirling and clorinde is just like “just write all your questions now, he’ll decline all the ones he can’t answer so it’s worth a shot anyways” 🥹

KIARA SLEEPING !!! crying he’s such a parent to them i cannot

and then FINALLY the reply note to his absence note on his desk from furina!!! my wife had her cameo <3 in the sweetest of ways, asking if he’d finally woke up and decided to go outside and he should follow her footsteps more and do it more often - and that it doesn’t matter if something bad happens because you’ll meet plenty of characters along the way

and if you talk to him behind his desk he’s like “what am i supposed to do with her” 🥹🥹🥹

for the record i will be vocal stimming furina’s “oh me, oh my” in that reply note for the rest of eternity <3

i’m so forreal that this is my favourite story quest ever, perhaps because i could relate to it but it also shows that in my opinion not a single fontaine character hates the other as of right now. lyney specifically has no bad blood with anyone; he seems to clear it up with wriothesley and sigewinne in the archon quest but having clorinde, navia and charlotte together talking just like a group of friends and they all came together on their own accord to help neuvillette and even furina’s cameo in her reply note shows that she has some assortment of care for his wellbeing and how he shuts himself away. it was incredibly heartwarming to have each fontaine character have a cameo in some form and other than arlecchino telling the fontaine siblings to keep an eye on neuvillette, they all had positive interactions and intentions.

i’m sorry but fontaine is my favourite and it will always be my favourite, nothing can top the amount of love i have for neuvillette’s story quest. that was the best thing that’s ever happened in this game <3

[wildrangers]

The Moon & Her Sun // Josh Kiszka {3}

Chapter Three // Strength

Josh Kiszka x fem! musician reader

Word Count: 3K

start here!

Hi y'all! This will be a multi-part, slow burn story so buckle up. Also, the titles will be very tarot-based but I am by no means an expert.

Warnings: Swearing, anxiety/panic attacks, mentions of domestic violence, slut-shaming, misogyny, drinking (plz let me know I missed any!)

*18+ only, smut will happen later in the series*

Josh stepped in front of you to block the spray of champagne Sam was releasing all over the hotel room.

“We fucking did it!” Sammy screamed, causing whoops and cheers from the others. Once Josh was sure it was safe, he moved to your side, cheeks flushing as you shot him a grateful grin.

“What a gentleman” you teased, only making his face heat more as he nudged your shoulder with his own. “I really love that jumpsuit, by the way.”

He looked down at his white and gold outfit, which was honestly one of his favorites.  “Thanks, you looked great out there too. And now, of course.” You rolled your eyes at the compliment, “What a flatterer, Joshua.”

His grin widened even more as you used his full name. You had taken to doing so whenever you decided to tease him, which was quite often.

“A toast to Rising Sirens for setting the stage for an amazing night of music!” Jake cheered and everyone took a swig of their drinks.

“A toast to Greta Van Fleet for graciously inviting us on their tour!” Carolina replied, another cheer filling the room before everyone drank more. At this rate, things were likely to get messy by the end of the night. You wondered over to Danny, who was sitting on the couch taking in the scene before him. You struck up a conversation and Josh smiled softly at the way you both seemed to relax whenever you found each other in a busy room. Josh, on the other hand, flourished in a crowd.

He made his way from person to person, doing shots with Carolina before making his way over to Sam, Jake, and Kimmy who were playing some kind of drinking game they were inventing on the fly. Josh watched, amused as Kimmy managed to manipulate the game to win every time, taking advantage of how tipsy his brothers were. The game didn’t last long as Sam wondered off to go pester Carolina. Those two were dangerous together—constantly cooking up bad ideas but having the best time doing so. Kimmy sat beside Caleb who was, unsurprisingly, keeping to himself, leaving Josh with his twin.

“You and Y/N looked amazing together tonight, man” Jake slurred, clapping him on the back. Josh’s eyes darted over to you and Danny, confirming you weren’t in earshot.

“Dude, don’t say shit like that, you know how big of a step tonight was for her. We’re just friends” Josh admonished Jake who only held up his hands in surrender.

“Yeah, yeah, you two can say that all you want but people don’t look at each other like that unless they’re falling in love.”

Josh felt his cheeks warm at Jake’s words. Sure, he was infatuated with you but in love? It had barely been a month since you’d met. Drunk Jake had a habit of making grandiose statements so Josh rolled his eyes and steered the conversation elsewhere as they continued celebrating.

***

You were thoroughly enjoying your evening. You and Danny were discussing different books you’d read and the atmosphere of the room was pleasant without being overwhelming. As Danny excused himself to grab another beer, you opened your phone to scroll through Instagram. You instantly regretted your choice as you looked at your most recent post, a photo of your band from earlier tonight.

Typical, Y/N fucking her way up the food chain

How shameless can she be? Did you see her and Josh?

Sluts will be sluts, I guess

You quickly shut your phone, immediately sobering up as tears pricked your eyes. You got up and left the room, hoping no one noticed as you stumbled to your room, fighting back tears and panic. It was happening again.

You fumbled with your key card as your vision blurred before a soft hand covered your own, guiding it into the slot. You weren’t surprised when you looked up to see Josh peering at you with concern.

“What’s going on, mama?” he asked and you burst into tears right there in the hallway. He rubbed your back soothingly, guiding you into the room and locking the door behind himself. Each time you tried to explain what was happening, you felt your throat tighten with emotion and panic. You felt like you were going to pass out and began gasping for air.

“Hey, hey, look at me, okay?” Josh said sternly and your eyes darted up to his.

“There you are, good job. Now breath with me. In…good, and out...great job Y/N/N. Let’s do it again.” He repeated the steps until you felt like you could finally breathe again, air filling your lungs and calming your racing heart. You still didn’t have words yet, so you opened your phone and placed it in his hands once your most recent post was displayed.

You laid your head on the back of the couch, continuing your deep breathing as you felt the panic slowly but surely leaving your body. You hadn’t had a panic attack in months and you certainly hadn’t missed the sensation.

“Those fucking assholes” Josh murmured angrily and you turned your head to look at him. His face was twisted with fury, cheeks red with rage. “I’m so sorry that happened, you were amazing tonight. Please try to not to let them ruin it. Most of these comments are showering you with the praise you deserve.”

You nodded sadly, your lips trembling again. He ran his thumb along your bottom lip, as if trying to stop their shaking with his touch alone.

“Thank you for helping me, Josh.”

“Of course, Y/N/N. What else can I do? I want to post something on my page but only if you’re okay with that. I won’t do it if it’ll make you uncomfortable or if you think it’ll just make it worse.”

You mulled over his offer, wrapping your fingers around his and settling them onto your lap. “I’m okay with you posting about tonight and including something about it but please don’t make it just about that. Tonight was about way more than them.”

He nodded, placing a quick kiss on your palm before pulling out his phone and creating a post using some of the professional photos taken at the show. You rested your head on his shoulder, watching as he selected which pictures to include. Most of them were of the guys but the final one was a shot of the two of you gazing into each other’s eyes during the final part of ‘You’re Still the One.’

He typed out a quick caption before shutting his phone off entirely and tossing it onto the table. You mirrored his motions, relieved that you wouldn’t have to look at your social media again tonight.

“You do have to admit we make quite the pair” Josh murmured softly, tracing patterns onto your palms. You stilled at the comment, shutting your eyes for a moment.

“Josh, I can’t give you what you want.”

He watched as you pulled away, crossing your legs as you turned to face him fully. “And what do you think I want?”

“Me. Us. A relationship.”

“Do you not want those things?”

 You sighed, playing with the ends of your hair to avoid his gaze. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t believe you, Y/N. I think you do know but don’t want to admit it.”

“Fine. I know that I want to keep getting to know you. I know I feel safe whenever you’re with me. I know you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. But I also know that I will always choose me first. I refuse to go back to putting me second and a relationship first.”

Silence fell over the two of you as he took in your words. “Do you want to hear what I know?” he questioned, lowering his head to force you to meet his eyes. You hesitated but finally nodded.

“I know that I’ve been drawn to you since I laid eyes on you. I know you are beautiful, inside and out. And I know you are the moon to my sun. But I also know you’ve been hurt and are still healing. And I need you to know I respect and understand that. As long as you allow me to stay in your life, you can offer me as much or as little you want and I’ll be thrilled to simply exist alongside you.”

Tears pricked at your eyes as you pulled him to you, locking him in a tight embrace. He held you to his chest as he rubbed your back soothingly, face buried into the crook of your neck. It felt like you’d been made to stay locked in each other’s embrace for eternity. As you pulled away slightly, you rested your forehead against his. “Thank you” you whispered, eyes rising to meet his.

“You have nothing to thank me for” he smiled. You stayed like that for several moments, simply enjoying being so close to one another. But you weren’t ready for anything else yet; it still felt too real, too soon.

“Stay? Just to sleep. I don’t want to be alone” you whispered.

“I’d love to” he nodded, kissing your forehead before going back to his room to change into PJ’s. By the time he returned, you were curled up in bed in a baggy tee, fighting your eyes. You felt him lay behind you, pulling you to his chest as he placed a gentle kiss on your shoulder. “Sweet dreams” he whispered against your skin.

***

The first month of tour flew by. Most days ended exactly how they had that first night—you wrapped in Josh’s arms. You still hadn’t done anything physical; Josh understood your fears and respected them—just being in your presence was enough for him for now.

Today was going to be a one-day festival with Rising Sirens playing around noon and Greta Van Fleet later in the afternoon. The boys were all backstage as Rising Sirens played, enjoying the atmosphere, the music, and the beautiful weather. Over the last few weeks, Jake had somehow cracked Caleb’s shell. The two talked endlessly about guitars and melodies and songwriting. Caleb had even allowed Jake to sometimes sit in and add notes while they worked on the new album.

This new closeness was how Josh got to the enjoy the sight of his twin playing alongside Caleb on their most guitar-heavy song. The two were out of this world and the crowd was eating it up as you danced around the stage. Josh was bewitched by the soft smile on your face as you moved effortlessly about the stage, lost in the simple joy of moving your body to rock n’ roll.

Soon enough, your set was over and everyone made their way to GVF’s bus to cool off. Sam was fiddling with his phone, arguing with Carolina about what to play over the speakers. Josh watched as you smirked and shook your head at the two before settling beside him, head resting on his shoulder.

“You were incredible today, mama” Josh whispered, placing a quick kiss on the top of your head.

“Thanks, Joshy. I forgot how much I love the energy at festivals” you replied, moving back to smile up at him. His heart still insisted on hammering in his chest every time you looked at him like that. Before he could continue, all-out war broke out across the way.

“Sam! I am so sick of you picking the same shit over and over again. Let me switch it up!” Carolina yelled in frustration.

“No way, you’re just going to play that pop shit you listen to! Absolutely not” he shook his head, raising his phone up high as Carolina leapt to try and grab it.

“Children! Let’s put it to a vote, yeah?” Jake suggested, rolling his eyes at their behavior. The two glared at each other but reluctantly agreed. As everyone voted, the group was split down the middle, leaving Josh as the deciding vote. While he normally sided with his brother on these matters, he just couldn’t resist the puppy dog eyes you were shooting his way as you squeezed his hand.

“Y/N! That’s cheating, stop it” Sam begged, feeling defeat approaching.

“I’m sorry man, I’m gonna go with Carolina on this one” Josh finally answered, drawing a whoop from Carolina as she wrestled the phone out of Sam’s hand.

“Et tu, Brutus?” Sam asked, shaking his head. “I thought you’d put me, your baby brother, before the girl you’re dating.”

Josh froze at his words but you roared with laughter next to him. “Just because he likes me better doesn’t mean you have to start spreading rumors, Samuel” you teased. Sam’s eyes darted between the two of you before he descended, fingers tickling your sides.

“Samuel! Stop!” you laughed, trying to get him off as you fought for breath. “Are you fucking five?”

“I’m avenging myself, Y/N/N, someone must pay!” Sam jokingly shouted. Josh smiled as you two playfully wrestled on the floor together, shaking his head at your antics.

***

Finally on stage several hours later, Josh felt electric. The crowd was totally invested and he felt like he and his brothers were hitting their stride, soaking up the positive energy of the audience. He was excited for you to join him onstage soon; he absolutely cherished your duets, each night’s performance feeling more and more intimate. Luckily, the hateful comments had largely stopped on your page after he had shared that initial opening night post. He hadn’t yet found the courage to tell you that his comments were filled with people debating ship names for the two of you.

Before he knew it, you were beside him singing the opening notes of ‘You’re the One.’ He was transfixed as you sang, finding himself lost in your joy-filled eyes. You were always most beautiful to him when you sang—you looked so exuberant and alive. To his surprise and delight, as the song concluded you wrapped him in a hug as the fans cheered before making your way backstage again. He felt the warmth of your embrace for the rest of the show, feeling like he was floating on air.

***

Josh was incredible. You mean, he always was but he seemed to be outdoing himself somehow today. The rest of Rising Sirens had wondered off to see other bands or get more drinks but you stayed in your spot alongside the stage. As the boys were in the midst of their final song, you heard slow, drawn-out applause coming from behind you. You tensed, somehow sensing it was Max before he drawled out, “What a show you two put on out there.”

You braced herself before turning towards him, “Thank you.” You knew he was being sarcastic and trying to insult you but you refused to take the bait. His smirk made you feel edgy as he walked closer. “I didn’t know We are the Champions were playing today.”

“Well, surprise, darling, here I am! And to think I was making my way over to congratulate you on your set earlier only to find you wrapped up with your new man.”

“Josh and I are none of your business. I want you to leave. Now.”

He laughed coldly. “And here I was thinking I was special. I guess the critics were right, you really were just fucking your way to the top. Too bad you had to stoop down a level from me this time around.”

“Fuck. Off. Max. Or I swear to God, I will call security over here.”

“I’m allowed to be here just as much as you are” he smirked, leaning closer.

“Actually, you’re not” you heard Josh’s voice behind you and nearly sagged with relief. If he was here, they all were and that meant you weren’t alone anymore—you were safe. He couldn’t hurt you.

“Sorry man, I don’t think you own the stage. Y/N and I were just catching up, you can move along.”

“No, actually we weren’t. I don’t have anything to say to you.” Max turned his gaze to you, surprise crossing his features. He clearly wasn’t expecting the backbone he’d methodically broken down to have grown back firm and strong in his absence.

“Why so harsh, Y/N/N? Didn’t you miss me?” he fake-frowned, hand grasping your shoulder. Before you could respond, a fist soared over you, colliding with the side of Max’s head. You were shocked to see it was Danny who threw the punch, Sam following with a shove to Max’s chest that left him off balance.

“Fuck off, Max. We know exactly what you are and if you so much as look at Y/N again, we’ll let everyone else know too. We will ruin you, understood?” Jake growled, placing a hand on your shoulder. Your eyes darted between each of the boys, gratitude and overwhelm filling your chest.

“Whatever, keep your stupid slut” Max spat, wiping the side of his mouth that had split open.

“Fuck you, Y/N has more talent in her pinky finger than your entire, pathetic self does. So, fuck off or we’ll call security and have you removed from this event” Josh stated, standing tall beside you.

Max had nothing to say to that, shooting you a glare before wondering off. Once he was gone, Josh wrapped his arms around you, holding you as you shook.

“Shhh, it’s okay Y/N/N, we’re all right here” he said, smoothing down your hair and rocking you slightly. Once the adrenaline left your system, you turned to the other guys, pulling them into a group hug, squeezing tight.

“I can’t express how grateful I am for all of you. That meant the world to me” you said, voice shaky as you fought back more tears.

“We’re just sorry we weren’t here when he first came over, we didn’t see him until we were leaving the stage” Danny explained, running soothing motions down your back.

“It’s okay, you guys came at just the right moment. I needed to know I could face him again. And I could, that’s why he was getting so mad.”

“We’ve got you, always, okay? If he messes with you, he’s fucking with all of us” Jake said, eyes still simmering with anger.

“Yeah, we’ll rock his shit!” Sammy said, jokingly boxing the air and drawing a laugh from you.

“I do have to say, I was pretty impressed with that punch, Danny” you smiled, checking his knuckles, relieved to see no damage had been done.

read on here !

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this installment :) I am thinking this will probably be about 6 parts total and this will be the last direct depiction/description of the misogyny/DV situation. I know that's hard for some to read but I felt it was important to this character and the story. As always I am open to any feedback & please let me know if you want to join a tag list!

[aajjks]

prisoner!kook maybe i want them to hear you? that one female guard? silvia? that bitch is always staring at you or talking to her coworkers about the sex hot head in you cell. cant stand her. maybe i want her to hear that not even jail can keep me from pleasuring my man. id love it more if you sat down and let me take care of you. if you don’t let me? i think i’m going to cry. look at my eyes, do you see my tears? i’ll cry if you don’t let me taste you… and if there is one thing, i know my man hates more than telling his princess ‘no’ i when he makes her cry… well, the tears that don’t have a overwhelming orgasm at the end of them. do you want that, baby? do you want me to cry or will you let me suck on your cock? remember, i’ve been such a good girl. staying so loyal to you. even going as far as to remind you who i belong to when you forgot yourself. i think i deserve my own little reward for not accepting your offer to be with another man. an even bigger one for not doing it behind your back. my blood on your fingers prove you’re the last man and only man that’s ever touched me. but that reward? i want that when you get home. i want you to pound your cock so deeply inside me that you make me bleed again. actually… i want you to claim me so much that i want your blood inside of me. but what do you say to your good, loyal, princess? can i taste you, baby?

can’t help it, i love the jail birds

“Silvia? I don’t even know her because the only woman I know is- my woman yn. Yes. You baby.. yn you really are jealous? I don’t care what these women think of me because all I care about is what you think of me.. I am yours aren’t I? Do you want to claim me? do you wanna show that makes me feel so good? Aw yn don’t cry…. Oh my God, please don’t cry. Yeah that’s true stop crying my love.. ahhh you’re so loyal to me, and that turns me on even more… I love you-and it’s so weird but your blood makes the taste even better, sexier… okay yn- I’ll do what you want… you want my cock? I’ll give you it because it’s yours. You can taste me… you want my blood as well? Yn.. actually I y want to mane you bleed but I’m the most sensual pleasurable way possible… here.. Ive sit down.. be gentle please- ‘s been too long since you’ve touched me… a-ah fuck..”

[unsupervised-threat]

There are no narrative inconsistencies in RT's Act 4. Period. Zero.

Also known as: my friend channeling her inner Cegorach, to deal with Act 4 shenanigans.

Obviously full of spoilers and critique bordering on venting. But in a hilarious way.

Me & the gals read it and had a good laugh, so we poked her to share it in public, but she's too shy. So now I'm going to share it. With her permission, of course XD

There are no narrative inconsistencies. Period. Zero. None.

Act 4 starts with the portal spitting us out on Janus, annoying Muaran.

“Fucking mon-keigh…” greets Muaran, despite us being allies. Once again, I beg Muaran to give me some colony projects, but he ignores me. We make our way back to my voidship with me wiping my tears away, while Yrliet pats me on the back sympathetically.

“Lord Captain! It is high time you do something about your xenos pet!” says Argenta and Heinrix the moment I finally sat my arse on my stupid throne. I look at them dead in the eye, tired of repeating myself, then I give them the middle finger. “Argenta, how about I lash you instead for what you did?” I add, but she ignores me. Everyone ignores what I just said, and I begin to question if Argenta ever admitted doing what she did. 'Okay. Must be the trauma induced delusions imagining these things, then’ I thought to myself, deciding to forget the whole thing.

Time to retire to my chambers for some peace and quiet.

KnockKnock. Idira wants to speak to me. KnockKnock Heinrix wants to speak to me. KnockKocno, black screen wants to speak to me. KocnoKoco, uh, wants to speeketh to meeh!?error?error??crash to desktop. Reboot required. …I meta-reload and decide to leave my chambers without resting. The cursed knocking finally ceases. The error filled warp releases us from its grip.

Let’s get down to Rogue Trading business.

“Anything interesting occurring in my absence?” I ask my bridge officer. “Lord Captain, Winterscale had misplaced himself in one of his jungle planets, Chorda allied herself with Lord Calcazar taking Footfall from us, and all of our colonies are on fire.” “Terrific news.” In no hurry, I make my way to scan random planets for resources which later I will find out I can’t even use. There is no more content. “Funny how little actual Rogue Trading I do when it’s basically my only fucking job…” I mumble to myself while finally turning to see what’s up with Chorda.

Bzzz! Zbang!

“Lord Captain!” Uh-oh. “What now?” I ask, hopeful for content™ “Lord Captain, we have intercepted an anomaly that almost collided with us,” reports my Vox Mistress. “Okay? Anything else about it?” I ask. “No, nothing else to report.” “...” “Then why the dramatic interruption? Is this not leading up to anything? My journal entry did not get updated. What was the point of this?” My Vox Mistress shrugs, “Only the Emperor knows, Lord Captain.” “...”

We reach Footfall, and we find out that Chorda is hanging Pirates for Piracy on a Piracy planetoid. “Hm. How does that make any sense? Is it not easier to just bomb the entire planet instead of purging it manually like this?” I question the logic of it out loud to no one in particular.

Chorda smirks smirkingly at my arrival. With the attitude of Paris Hilton welcoming some schmuck into her 5 stars Hilton hotel. “How do you like my deliverance of Imperium justice, RT?” she smugly asks. I frown. “How do you like this planetoid barren of any life forms if you plan on killing every single man here?” She ignores my questions and suddenly declares me to be placed under trial. “Sorry, what did you just say? A trial? A 3rd trial after I just escaped from Commorragh? Are you okay?” ‘Am I okay?’

Feeling overwhelmed by the stupidity of this narrative I pick up her spoon to eat this random man’s brains raw. Marazhai, for some reason, is into it. “You are disgusting” says Chorda, who 5 seconds prior also partook in eating this poor sod’s brains. “And you are a hypocrite who has peas for brains. Is that why you’re doing this? To replenish your non-existent brain lobs, perhaps?” I say, unimpressed with her insult.

In a flustered panic, Chorda shares Vladaym’s location and tells me to go kill him, despite me making it clear I despise her and want her dead. “Why are you telling me th- Oh for fu-, you know what? Nevermind. Let’s just go.” We leave.

We reach Vladaym's super secret hide out. “Hello to you, you sneaky rascal” I greet him in a friendly manner, because we’ve already established we’re allies. “Your Ladyship, you might not have a lot of love for me or our business-” “What?” I interrupt him. “What do you mean, Vladaym? I traded with the Kasballica. Do you even check your statistics? I am literally your number 1 store buyer. I send Footfall provisions. I kept you in charge of Footfall under Valancius’ wing. I was nice to you personally. What do you mean, I don't have a lot of love for you???!”

I get ignored, as per usual.

“Yo” says Hieronymus, making an aquila gesture greeting. “Yo” I salute back, making an aeldari greeting gesture in return. “Did you know I’m a piece of shit who indoctrinated Chorda since she was little to be the ultimate heretic killing machine? This is why she is the way she is btw.” Hieronymus admits with little prompting. “Oh, spare me her sob story! Are you serious?!” Hieronymus doesn’t respond, just soullessly stares at me, giving me nothing.

I become desperate.

“You info dumping her sob story on me, ONLY WITH A DOGMATIC DIALOGUE OPTION, is all this game gives me to make me like her enough to redeem her AS AN ICONOCLAST? How does that make any sense?! This is truly all you are going to give me??” I grab onto Hieronymus’ sleeve, having lost it entirely. The priest looks down at me with pity then shrugs. “The Emperor bestows a lot on his followers, my child. The gift of logic and sense however... were omitted here.” “Omitted? You mean just for this quest only, right? This is simply a flaw, a hiccup in the overarching narrative, and not for the rest of the story, father? Right? Right, father???” “...I am so sorry, my child. But while we’re at it, I must warn you. You will aggro my boss fight regardless of what you do during this quest.”

I stare into the dirty rooftop of the bar, to avoid tears leaking out of my eyeballs. The dirty metallic rooftop stares back. "I am not possessed or insane. Everything around me is simply too bugged. Nothing is real." I mumble crazily to comfort myself. The dirty rooftop then laughs at me, seeing how I have not reached any of the conviction point thresholds that are required for anything during this act.

I snap and let out an inhuman screech, pressing the quit button.

[strawberry-lemonade-kisses]

(2)

Trigger Warnings - Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal mention, suicidal tendencies, self harm, mentions of self harm, mentions of abuse, abuse, child abuse, domestic assault, rape, victimization, talk of drug abuse, drug abuse, addiction, talk of murder, assault.

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The room was way too bright and positive for you. It was all annoying to look at. Why were you here? You shouldn't be here? This was all stupid, and pointless. The obnoxious positive affirmations that were scribbled into the white brick and the happy cat posters placed beside bulletproof glass for safety. There were a variety of other young adults in the room, bodies draped across the various couches and chairs in the room. No one said anything, occasionally glancing among themselves before looking back at their laps or turning towards the tv that silently played episodes of 'catfish’. You blamed your sour mood on the lack of sleep the night before. You had crashed after the events from the past few days but continued to wake up throughout the night, plagued by thoughts and stresses. You had been lied to, the promise of outpatient care had been so nice, and it had sounded like a school day but instead of learning math and science, you were learning how to handle your stress and anxiety. It was frustrating, you were being removed from your home and placed in such a stale environment. The halls smelled of bleach, the constant white noise scratching in the background was irritating and the bright fluorescent lights mimicked being outside while stuck in a windowless brick building. The world was your enemy and you were powerless against it. The only good thing is that your parents had dropped off a bag of clothes for you very early in the morning, leaving you with your most comfortable pajamas and even 2 books. ‘the count of monte cristo’ and ‘Ruth’s bake shop’ two classics and loved by you. The door opened with various beeps, pulling your attention back to earth. "Good morning everyone, I apologize for my tardiness, I just had to grab a file I had missed on my desk" God, even the doctor was way too enthusiastic. "Welcome to day two! I know it's been overwhelming for some of you, I'm sure, even annoying, sad, maybe happy. But I promise by the end of this week, all those feelings will change" Removing the white doctor's coat from herself, the doctor laid it on the back of the chair, bright pink scrubs on display as she sat down, a thick stack of files on her lap. "Before we begin, why don't we start with introductions? I want everyone to introduce themselves and say why we are here. Let's get to know each other, we can help each other heal" Her smile was bright, and the curiosity that glinted in her eyes was possibly even brighter. "I'll start! My name is Dr. Gotouge and I am here because I want to help people, I have seen much suffering and I want to help end that for people" She gestured towards the man to her left, the shaggy black hair on his head covered most of his eyes, making it almost impossible to see where he was looking, the red sweatshirt he wore was tattered, tearing at the ends of his sleeves as he pulled them. He cowered under her curious gaze, seemingly shrinking in on himself as he nervously fiddled with his shirt sleeves. "I am, my name is. I'm-" "Jesus Christ, what's your fucking name" The snow-haired male on your left sat up straight, frustration painting his scared features as he let out an annoyed sigh. "Sanemi. Remember what we talked about, if you feel annoyed towards someone ask yourself why are you responding this way before you speak up" Dr. Gotouge turned back to the timid boy, urging him forward with a slight shake of her hand. "Please continue, you got this!" She cheered. "My name is Tomioka Giyuu. I'm here because I tried to hang myself" he didn't look up as he finally got the words out. "Very good Giyuu thank you for sharing that. It's a pleasure to meet you." "I like your sweatshirt Giyu, it's a very pretty color on you" The bubbly girl next to him leaned close, her braided dual-toned hair draped over his chair. He mumbled incoherently, leaning away until she finally backed away. "My name is Mitsuri Kanroji and I am here because I tried to kill myself!" She was way too happy about it. You tried hard to suppress the shudder at her bright personality. "I'm Kocho Shinobu, I'm here because I tried to kill myself." The girl next to her spoke up, short purple and black hair moving as she leaned back in her chair, unfeeling purple eyes scanning over the people sitting around the grey room. "Thank you, Kanroji, and Shinobu! Thank you for being here on your first steps to recovery" the white-haired male, sanemi scoffed again. "Shinazugawa Sanemi, I'm here because my dad's a pussy and I destroyed his kitchen." "What the fuck" You couldn't stop the words from coming out of your mouth as you looked at the male next to you, his unblinking eyes starting to meet your own. "I'm sorry, I thought we were here with real problems, not just being an idiot" If looks could kill. "Excuse me bitch, I have better places to be I didn't choose to be here." "Sanemi! Y/N! That's enough. Everyone has problems. These are just introductions; we are getting to know everyone right now. We can discuss more after this. Please, let's finish these introductions" The doctor smiled again, and you sighed. "I'm y/n, they tell me I tried to kill myself but that’s not what I was doing” sucking in a deep breath to ease the nausea you felt at the thought. “I was just trying to get the pain to stop” The confession left a lot of people confused. “Why are you here?” Shinobu piped up from her chair, feet barely touching the floor as she leaned forward. "I don't know, everyone else said I had to be here, not like we have a choice. We have a minimum of 4 days here" The thought alone exhausted you, 4 whole days of this. "Hello! I am Rengoku Kyojuro! My father did this to me, but they asked me to come here in case!" The man next to you was shouting, unbothered by the booming sound of his voice as he moved the collar of his turtleneck, showing off the darkened bruises around his neck. You could distinctly make out the silhouette of fingers, purple and black against the man's tanned skin. "A very flamboyant look Kyojuro! You hide the bruises well! Uzui Tengen. I'm here because I am an addict" bulging muscles practically ripped through the skintight long sleeve of the silver-haired male, his dark maroon eyes shining under the fluorescent hospital lights. Another person way too happy to be here.   "Himejima Gyomei, I self-harm" he didn't look anywhere besides straight ahead, clouded eyes welling with tears as he sat, still as a rock. The male next to him seemed like a dwarf compared to Gyomei his smaller and frailer figure hunched in his chair, the white facemask unmoving as he glared around the room, heterochromatic eyes meeting yours momentarily before moving on. "Obanai, self-harm" he offered nothing further, but it satisfied the doctor who clapped her hands together. "Thank you all for sharing yourselves with us. The 9 of you have been brought here today all under very different circumstances and lead very different lives. I got to know and speak with all of you yesterday on your first day with us at haven hill hospital. You all make up our teen unit, the unit that ranges from ages 15 to 20. In the hallway adjacent to us is our pre-teen unit and then we have a children's unit and an adult unit alongside an addiction recovery unit. You all transferred from different hospitals to our mental health facility here and we commend you for taking that step toward healing" The doctor leaned back, smiling as she looked at each of the figures in the room, analyzing everyone she had taken the time to get to know the day before, during their first day on the unit. “Our days will start like this, group therapy and then a group activity, after that, you have the day to yourself, but we must stay in this room. There is plenty to do here, puzzles, coloring, games, getting to know one another, and relating to one another. But let's start with group therapy, does anyone have anything on their mind?” Everyone avoided the doctor's gaze this time, sticking to themselves as she looked for anyone to start, anyone to share. “Okay then, Sanemi, why don’t you share what happened to lead you here?” The man scoffed, leaning forward in his chair. “Sure, why the fuck not. My father is a piece of shit, truly deserves to die in the worst way possible. But I’m not a murderer. He abuses my mom and she's an idiot who stays and continues to raise their children like a champ. She protects us, she stays strong, and this useless piece of shit continues to treat her like she's nothing. He hit her again and left her with a black eye while I was out with my younger brother Genya. He hit her while I was gone because he’s a pussy and knew I wouldn't sit there and watch like a bitch.” He paused, feeling the anger bubble in him at the thought of his poor angel of a mother cowering under his pathetic father. “Stupid bastard didn’t even see it coming when I left and came back with the hammer, he thought I was going after him but I’m not that nice. I’d like to see that useless bastard try to clean up the mess I made. I had Genya get my mom and siblings out of the house and set them up at a neighbor's house while I took care of ours. He was so angry because you can't raise kids in a house that has no kitchen and no doors.” He cackled, throwing his head back in utter delight at the thought of the chaos he left his house in. “Anyways, he called the cops, and they deemed me a threat and threw me here, all while that bastard goes back to abusing my mom and is deemed not a threat” He shrugged, slouching in the armchair. “You're a hero then” You looked at the large man with excessive eye makeup, the red spots that surrounded his eye highlighted with a bright purple eyeshadow, it was flashy, a statement look. “What?” “a hero, you may have potentially saved your family from your father, if the system doesn’t fail. It probably will though, unfortunately,” Sanemi sat back, unblinking eyes boring holes into the man's head as he processed what was just said. “Your dad sounds like he's friends with my father!” Kyojuro let out a boisterous laugh at the thought, just the image of his own father being friends with another sick-abusive individual was enough to get him chuckling. It wouldn’t surprise him either. “My father wasn’t always abusive. He was good to me and my brother as children. My mom got sick when we were young, cancer that was too far along to stop or even slow down. After she passed e started drinking and then with that he started hitting and throwing things. It's gotten worse, I try to shield my brother and keep him out as much as I can, but I can’t do much when I’m only 16.” Kyojuro was solemn as he retold his story, eyes distant as he thought of his childhood, one that was so happy. “You two have been through a lot. Two completely different people from two different sides of town, but similar stories. There’s a lot to relate to.” Dr. Gotouge looked between the two men, waiting for them to respond. “My mom doesn’t hurt me, but I don’t think she likes me anymore” Shinobu piped up from next to the doctor, her hands picking at the strings of her pants, the hole in her knee fraying “She was there when I tried to die. We were on the freeway and I just” she hesitated, eyes flitting around the room before looking at the Doctor. “I didn’t want to be here anymore. I figured jumping out would be quick, over in an instant type of thing. When I unbuckled and tried to open the door my mom started to scream, she was holding my arm and she kept saying ‘What are you doing Shinobu!’ I don’t want to hear her yell like that again. It really scared me, so I sat back and put my seatbelt on. Once I sat back, she was still yelling. She dropped me off at the hospital and then I got sent here. She probably hates me now. I’ve always been a burden, my sister has always been so easy, and I come along with all these problems. She’s not going to let me home now, going to leave me here.” Shinobu was teary as she finished talking, head bowed with a defeated slump. “She doesn’t hate you Shinobu. I’m sure of that. She’s your mom at the end of the day. I’m sure you just scared her. I got into a fight with my parents when things happened, when they found things out. They were so mad, and it was only because they were scared.” You spoke up, wanting to offer comfort to her as she finally let tears fall, puddling onto the backs of her hands. She looked so small sitting in her chair, dwarfed by the angry-looking man next to her. “You have an optimistic outlook for someone who doesn’t know my mom. She is probably just sick of me at this point. After all the doctors’ appointments and therapy, she’s finally rid of me.” “Did she make it obvious that she didn’t want you back?” You asked, “no…” Shinobu was conflicted, the inner battle obvious in her features as she retreated into herself, visibly scrunching. “She loves you, she's your mother and they will always love you. People show it in different ways, unfortunately. But she brought you here to get help, which means she wants to help you, right?” You pressed on “I-I think so. I hope so. She hasn’t done anything wrong. I just burden her so much with things. I feel awful. I wish. I wish I wasn’t like this.” “I also wish things were different. Life would be easier, and kinder to us. We shouldn’t have to suffer this way when were so young. People always say that life gets better, it’ll get easier, but when is that? After my third suicide attempt? When I finally succeed? When does it get easier? Because I’ve tried everything?” the words seemed to have a mind of their own as you spoke, all your internal feelings pouring out. “But that’s why we’re here huh? To get better? We're here to try and we're here to change something, anything to make it easier.” Dr. Gotouge was nodding along as you spoke, all eyes on you. “The first step in any mental health recovery journey is accepting you need help and receiving the help. You have all taken that first step by being here. This is what this is about. Sanemi May I ask? What made you decide to go destroy the kitchen?” Sanemi looked unphased at the question, almost expecting it in a way. “To teach the old man a lesson. Child protective services would frown upon a house in such a state. It was all I could think of at that moment, what else can I do? No one listens to me, we’ve tried to get out. I have 6 siblings all younger than me. Their kids and they deserve better, they deserve more than this. Our mother deserves more than this. But he has all of us in a tight grip, when we were visited by the protective services before he made us all lie or he threatened to do worse than he has. He’s going to kill one of us or all of us. There's no other way” Everyone was shocked at the confession from the brash white-haired male. He wasn’t like that for no reason, his personality was molded into what it is now, hardened into this to protect what he loves most. “I understand your fear. Somedays it's wondering how much your body can take and other days it's fighting to breathe. You can’t rest and you can’t let it go.” Kyojuro was smiling, leaning close to look closer at Sanemi. “We can get out. I know we can, it will just be suffering until then” The laugh he let out lacked gumption, the actual humor sucked out of him. The Doctor was silent besides the scratching of her pen. “Obanai? Giyuu? Gyomei? Anything to add to the discussion?” Dr. Gotouge addressed the three silent men but her gaze lingered on Giyuu who was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. She was met with silence from all three of them. “That’s alright, we can always try again later. You will all proceed to breakfast and then it’s free time. You will have individual therapy with me later as well as some of you will have daily check-ups with our doctor. Have a wonderful breakfast you guys!” As the doctor stood you finally noticed the nurses standing in the doorway, probably there to escort you to breakfast. “Alright everyone if you’ll follow us we’ll be taking you down to the cafeteria.” Holding the door open one nurse led while the other stayed at the back, making sure everyone was in line and no one was straying off, escaping the nurses.

Breakfast was an uneventful affair, the dry and flavorless hospital food didn’t seem to change in any medical facility even for mental wellbeing. The nurses ate alongside you, making small talk with some of you. The other people in your unit seemed more comfortable around each other after the morning group therapy, already talking amongst themselves. You found Shinobu and Kyojuro easy to talk to. Kyojuro was laid back, seeing his stay here as a vacation rather than a forced treatment. He told you about his younger brother Senjuro who was in the pre-teen unit for his safety as well. Tengen was quite lively, managing to get a conversation going with Gyomei, talking about working out and maintaining a hard physique the two of them had. They were both bigger than what you assumed their ages were, with bulging muscles and hardened bodies. Even their casual clothes couldn’t hide their hard work. Obanai and Giyuu remained quiet, Obanai’s glare never easing up. As you were led back to the day room Kyojuro talked animatedly about his childhood. About his mother and her presence in his life and the effect she had on him and his younger brother. “I have 5 siblings as well! They are lovely. I hope they stay safe as they grow, I hope they continue to live happily after me” There was a pause as everyone sat around the day room. No one mentioned the ‘after me’ that ended KAnroji’s words moving on with the conversation. Shinobu had seated herself next to you, curling up in the armchair. "I really appreciate what you said earlier. It was nice to think that I wasn't a burden for a bit. To believe they loved me. Your right, in a way. I think I did scare her, I would be scared if she did it." Her purple eyes were shining with unshed tears, her chin resting on her knees as she drew them into her chest. "I believe everyone has a love for their family. Deep down. But you wouldn't be here without their help, without their push." She nodded "Yeah, your right. Thanks, Y/N" You gave her a small smile, leaning back and enjoying the conversations around you. The day passed by slowly, with small conversations as everyone got to know each other, meals shared in a bland cafeteria, and a few words spoken by Obanai. It wasn’t anything to write home about. As you settled onto the mattress pad, shuffling around for comfort you thought about this morning’s therapy session. You really didn’t belong here.