#FUCK paypal. fuck paypal forever and ever.

[girlboyburger]

hi i'm alive i'm just struggling my way to happiness & productivity

[gnostiquette]

the satan: oh foolish mortal...i greet you, to reveal your desires unto you! me: ok hey what's up the satan: i have decided to test you, to-day, to discern your commitment to The Good me: sounds great! so, do i have to reject a kingdom of glory and riches or refuse to jump off a building and make God save me or— the satan: oh no none of that. this'll be much simpler. i am going to present you with a series of ethical situations! ahahaha! me: oh sweet i think about these all the time the satan: perfect...it is time for The First Situation! now, picture a city that is so perfect, everyone is happy and no one is ever sad and there's cakes and festivals and orgies and— me: is this Omelas the satan: me: like this is just gonna be the Le Guin story with the kid in the basement right the satan: ...yeah. ok so there's the kid and the basement and there's the torture, ok yeah you know this one. right. so anyway...you have just learned about the kid being tortured in the basement. what is your judgement here? me: well uh, i guess i walk away the satan: aha but i didn't ask you what you'd do, did i? me: oh come on you tricky little fuck. ok. yeah this situation sucks the satan: and why, pray tell, do you say that is, despite all the happiness and nonsadness and cakes and festivals and orgies and whatnot? me: i suppose it's just that none of that shit justifies torturing a kid in a basement forever. also all that shit sounds kinda gay when you put it like that. like some weird Dutch fag shit the satan: ah. well, moving on, you whimsy-hating homophobe— me: what, just because i say that sounds like Dutch fag shit makes me homophobic? i'm gay you know i can call shit fag shit if i want the satan: —moving on, you would agree with the statement that whatever the consequence, it is inherently wrong to torture a child, hmm? me: well yeah that sounds about right the satan: aha...! me: wait why'd you make that noise the satan: wh-what me: that clicking noise. that was you right the satan: oh no no noise of things clicking into place emanated from my nostrils me: you worded that pretty weirdly, you know the satan: it's time for The Second Situation! you have cro— me: damn you just straight up evaded what i was saying the satan: —you have crossed The First Situation, i was saying, so now it is time for round two. ahem. now, firstly, would you agree that, in general, lying and stealing and cheating are bad? me: well, yeah. i don't like lying, and in general it seems pretty fucked up to cheat and steal the satan: so now you have come across a man in the street who is starving and wounded. after one hour he will die if he is not fed and treated for his wound. there is a store nearby but you are flat broke and have no pocket money, and begging isn't an option. even if you ask your friends to PayPal you they will not be able to get back to you for another two hours. the ER is too far away and there's too much traffic for an ambulance to arrive and take him there in less than an hour and a half, but there is a clinic nearby able to take anyone immediately. however the clinic only accepts people with insurance, and neither of you have an insurance card. you are, however, fairly confident that you can make up fake details that they would be willing to accept. me: what are you trying to write a Jacobin article or something. i'm already a socialist, you don't need to lay out how fucked up our healthcare system or whatnot is, i already know— the satan: okok sure this would never happen under socialism blahblahblah the point is what would you do in this situation me: but in the last one the point was my judgement not what i do. this is getting confusing the satan: DIFFERENT SITUATIONS HAVE DIFFERENT RULES OK?? GOD JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR NOW God: OH HEY SATAN DID YOU JUST CALL UPON ME the satan: HOLD ON I'M STILL TESTING THIS GUY GIVE ME A SECOND God: OH OK THAT'S YOUR JOB AFTER ALL. I SHALL LEAVE YOU TO IT. JUST DON'T BE TOO MEAN

the satan: FUCK. ok. ok. anyway here's the question. assuming you're also relatively confident you can shoplift without getting caught, do you steal a couple things from the store for the man to eat and do you present fake information to the clinic to get them to accept the guy and treat his wound me: yeah totally. i don't want him to die or anything. i'd gladly do just about anything to save someone's life the satan: so in other words, doing bad things like lying, stealing, and cheating in order to accomplish a good thing such as saving a life is good, right? me: sure, i'd say so the satan: AAAAAHH-HAA! i have TRAPPED you! for your response to the first situation implies that good inheres in the act itself, regardless of consequences, and your response to the second implies that good inheres in the consequences of an act, regardless of the means!

me: i mean...not necessarily? like— the satan: wh-what do you mean, mortal me: well, perhaps i think the negative consequences of torture for the child far outweigh the positive consequences for everyone else the satan: what the fuck is that you're doing me: oh i mean you're doing red text, i figure i do blue text, i figure this is like an Umineko thing or whatever the satan: fine. sure. you can do that. whatever. none of this matters to me. why did i pick this fucking job in the first place me: the satan: ...ok, the townspeople get far more happiness than the kid gets suffering me: but what if suffering itself is worth more in moral accounting than happiness, for instance the satan: then how about this? in the second example, you could have caused the shop to shut down due to lost trust with the distributor! you could have caused the clinic to lose their licence over insurance fraud! those could have easily caused far more suffering than if the man simply passed out and died after an hour! me: that's...that sounds far-fetched, but you said it in red, so. ok what if good actually inheres in the character of the person doing the act, so a virtuous person would refuse to sanction torturing a child for the greater good and gladly steal and cheat to save a man's life the satan: virtue ethics is unable to provide actionable guidance! me: oh? the satan: all you can do is imagine what a virtuous person would do, and different people have wildly different imaginations! me: well hmm. that's fair. i'm not sure i could personally live with that, especially in an age where we're getting ever closer to potentially misaligned AI. what if there's rules that say you must never do some things but then other rules can be broken if there's something more important the satan: if those rules exist, then list them off and justify them to me >: ) me: uh, don't torture, don't rape...don't kill is up there, but what if you're killing someone to defend someone else...wait fuck no, what about bombing civilians to end a war, that doesn't sound justifiable at all...god damn it... God: OH HELLO YES I'M BACK the satan: NO FUCK NO WAIT NO God: HELLO DEAR SWEET MORTAL CHILD. IS MY EMPLOYEE BEING TOO HARD ON YOU? OH DEAR I CAN GIVE YOU AN ANSWER IF THIS IS GOING TOO POORLY the satan: oh come on please just let me do my job like normal God: MY DEAR LITTLE CREATURE I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU CAN SIMPLY RELY ON MY EDICT AND ALL THESE DILEMMAS BECOME AS DUST IN THE BROOM OF AN OLD FAT LADY me: why thank you, my Lord, but no matter how perfect You are, it remains that divine command theory is a fundamentally subjectivist theory that cannot provide a truly objective and impersonal basis for ethics, and subjective morality is not a risk i'm really willing to take God: BUT AREN'T I PERFECT FOR YOU AND ALL THINGS MY PRECIOUS LITTLE CREATION me: why, yes, but there's a small but persistent chance You're a figment of my imagination, just like the satan over here, and— the satan: hhHHEYYY NOW me: —and i know that You love righteousness, so really i'd rather continue pleasing You even if You weren't around to tell me what righteousness is God: WHY THAT IS VERY SWEET OF YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M JUST GOING TO STRAIGHT UP LIFT YOU TO HEAVEN LIKE THAT MERRY OLD FELLOW FAUST me: wait huh the satan: w-wait Lord don't you think you're being a bit hasty in judgement a chorus of angels: [grabbing me and lifting me into the aether] ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*HE WHO STRIVES ON AND LIVES TO STRIVE CAN EARN REDEMPTION STILL*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ me: [rapidly disappearing into the sky, utterly bewildered] wait. hold on. hold up. wait,

[squeakybold]

ughhhhhh fuck fuck fuck fuck this is the first time my bank account has gone under 100$, i can only afford hrt for 2 more months if i don't get more money (and i don't have a job so i'm probably not getting a significant amount of money in that amount of time)

if anyone would like to help me out here by commissioning me (here's the link to my commission sheet, just dm me if u want one) or donating (paypal link) i'd appreciate it forever and ever okplzthx

[brakish-tea]

Fears as dreams I have had:

End: I dreamed my best friend faded away and died before my eyes

Desolation: I was in a burning restaurant trying to frantically find my way out

Slaughter: I was running through an oddly wide and empty version of museum adjacent London when I saw a child who looked like my secondary school bully. I went up to him and he asked in a child's voice "Are you here to kill me?"

Hunt: I spent the last two years going between Canada and London on the run from a scrawny man with a rifle. I was with my mom. We would close the blinds and live in hiding and we weren't scared because it felt normal to us. One day, my mom gave me a hunting rifle to defend myself. On that same day, my mom was having too long a conversation with one of the neighbors and had left the door open and I was silently gesturing for her to come inside and when we did go to the door it was closed and unlocked. We both knew he was inside and so we both scattered before I heard the gunshots of my rifle echo out across the street and the scrawny man's face was angry. I ran all the way down the near by highway and the air was cool. It all felt normal. He was behind me.

Flesh: My skin texture was melty and strange. Very bad.

Corruption: A recurring dream where I had a very contagious orange coloured terminal infection. I laughed and joked for people not to come near me to make it seem like I wasn't scared to die while making it so that others wouldn't get infected.

Stranger: I was not!them and I was running through a Russian community center (I have never been to Russia in my life). The walls were white plaster and bare save for a pink ballet advert flyer I couldn't read. Jonathan Sims was chasing my with a metal pipe as I was about half way into climbing into the skin of some blonde guy before he hit me. I remember being indignant that the hit meant I made the my torso the wrong height. A similar feeling to when someone jogs your hand while you're drawing.

Buried: I was a young child at the pool with my mom when I fell into a small thin rectangular pool that seemed to go down forever. I was drowning and I couldn't swim back up. I couldn't breathe. When I woke up, it turned out I had choked on my tongue while I slept and that was why I had that dream.

Web: In this dream, I was quite literally The Web. There was a plan over many years where 10 people were sent anonymous paypal money over imessage which would, 5 years later, lead to the death and coverup of a 19 girl hiking in the woods. This would eventually lead to strings based rapture into the skies. When I woke up and felt like a person with an identity again and not an overarching force/concept I was confused and felt like some kind of cosmic horror protagonist which was cool.

Eye: Honestly don't think I have ever had an Eye dream which is odd given my track record.

Spiral: I was in a really fucked up trippy hotel maze thing with blacklights and ladders and messages that didn't make sense and Ryker 8:11 was there and then I climbed out of a trap door and I was on the ground at night in the rain in Brighton.

Lonely: I snuck onto an Antarctic research team base under a fake name after faking my own death. I stood at the outskirts of our little town looking at the warmth and the lights contrasting the tundra and it struck me that this was the only place anyone even knew I existed.

Vast: A childhood memory of a storm came back to me in a dream when I talked to a friend from that world. I still remember it clearly. I must have been 7 or so and I was going with my friends to the park. We stood on the side of the hill and saw a storm. It was so low and small as if it were my storm. As if it were there to strike me. But it was so tall and impossibly vast and dark and roiling and crashing I could not understand it. When the flashback finished, the girl in my dream asked if I had been struck by lightning but I explained I would have a lichtenburg scar if I had.

Dark: I was a priest like figure in a cult that worshiped dark and stars. I remember I was lying in my bed. It was accommodation provided by the cult themselves. The bed was cool and the room was dark, but cast into a deep blue black by the faint light of the stars outside. I felt fulfilled and in tune with the world in a way I have never done so to any meaningful extent.

Extinction: I was standing in the rain and my friend said that the rain drops were too small. I looked at them. They were cloudy and feeble and polluted and tasted unnervingly sweet.

[woolywoofs]

I wanted to post a little update. And ask for a little help, again (paypal posted below, please dont feel pressured! you and your needs come first always).

Moppa and I are still grieving Skvetta, but we are managing now. She can be left alone now without panicking and she no longer searched for her in the yard.

I had my tonsils taken out last friday, on my birthday lol. Surgery itself went well, but beforehand did not. My IV infiltrated and all of the meds to calm me down and put me to sleep just went into my soft tissue. It was extremely painful and I started to have a panic attack on the table because of it + the oxygen mask makes me feel like im suffocating (i know it doesnt make sense haha). All hands on deck after that and I had 3 people on me at once sticking me trying to get IVs in me but my veins just kept breaking. It was actual hell and felt like forever.

Recovery has been a hot mess honestly. The first 3 days were fine and since then its been reaaal bad. The ear, throat and tongue pain is unreal. I am drugged out of my mind because pain/stress is a huge seizure trigger for me, but at this point it is not really working. I did have 1 bad seizure, to a point where i had broken capillaries in my face. But thankfully it didnt create any issues with my surgery recovery. Im hoping things will start improving soon.

Generally my epilepsy has fucked up a lot. My short term memory is messed up and I have lost some skill sets after the bad seizures. I have been re-learning how to draw and paint! It is a very tedious process but i really feel like im making progress.

My autoimmune disease has been lowkey out of control and I saw my rheumo and I am going back on a low dose chemo drug. It really did help last time, it just made me so sick. But we will be looking into every option to control my nausea etc! So im trying to be hopeful. Ill start once im completely healed from my tonsillectomy, since the meds make you more likely to get infections and slows healing.

My uterus has also been absolutely fucked, once again. We were really hoping that removing the mass, scraping my uterus and putting the IUD would stop the bleeding, and it did, for 6 months. But im having issues again and I saw a specialist and we decided that the only option left for me is a hysterectomy. There is a year long wait though. This wasnt exactly on my list of things to do at 27.. but i suppose it is what it is.

Now for some good. Moppa is healthy and happy. She was attacked by a dog in september and got a bad gash but shes completely healed! She loves the fenced yard. We have been working on nosework stuff when im feeling okay enough for it! She is honestly such a light in the dark and I love her.

I get to renew my lease next year so i dont have to worry about housing!! Rent will be increasing bc inflation but im okay with swapping some meals with ramen to make things work, when I cant make extra money. I have been learning how to quilt!! My grandma does it a lot and i asked her to teach me so I am working on a project with her.

While things are generally a hot mess right now, i am mostly okay. And i feel like thats a big improvement for me, im not sure I would have handled all this a year ago. And im proud of myself.

With everything going on, I have obviously been unable to do commissions, or taking in dogsitting clients or anything i typically do to make money. If anyone is able to help, it is really appreciated. *This is my PayPal*, im afraid its my only way to receive anything. *any* amount helps. I really hope this is the last time i ever have to ask for anything. I feel like things are going to turn around now that we have solid plans to help with my health issues. The hope is that once my uterus is out and the low dose chemo has gotten my overall pain under control, that my epilepsy will chill out. It seems to be easily triggered via pain and hormones.

Thanks to anyone who had the patience to read this thing. I just havent posted an update in so long that there was a lot to say 😅 i am going to start being more active on here as ai really miss it. I will include the 2 art pieces I managed to make and finish. It took forever to figure everything out but im proud of myself. Quality may be a little destroyed bc tumblr likes to do that... i really hope i can offer commissions again soon. I might choose a person or two at random that donates and do a ghost commission like below for them? I can at least try. But youd have to message me on here after donating so i know who you are, i think i can attempt dog, cat or rabbit. But i cant promise anything.

I talked forever, im so sorry lol. Here is the paypal again because its definitely lost up there in the babble

Just to end this.. Has anyone here had a tonsillectomy as an adult and can tell me at what point it got better?

[nityarawal]

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Nov 16 at 4:35PM

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Attn Elon Musk: Paypal appears broken. Could you call them please? Also my son Kyan? I just left messages for Judge Cindy Davis- who just got promoted on cons- and Judge Mathew Brower. Our pilot Airforce TM sides administrator pilot Wally Devasier, my brother Haydn Huntley at University of Hawaii Astronomy Department. Why do so many hate me? My x went through same red tape when we got engaged! Who are you sending to Mars Saturday? Do you really have perfected models of us both? Could I meet them? Is there nothing salvationable here? I would go with you or let you send my prototype to procreate with yours there with yours. I believe in your studies and long to understand them better. This is a huge leap of faith but perhaps there's a black hole of possibility, and we need to suspend Judgements.

I love ideas of some aspect of our nature lasting forever and improving our ra, e and of course Elon Musk, is an ever duplicatable human. But how many women would we have to share 'Elon' with?): They're all in love now and we don't want them to violate any aspect of his being. It was awful Biden tried to F him. I don't believe in acting out of fear nor desperation. I'd like to know your plan in full; what happened last 7 years; refunds on every offensive pigs heads from clerk to Presidents and their extended cartels. I know triangulation and fucking from mass community for you must be worse for you than me. I pray I helped your pursuit to Mars and was an agent of support in every way; even if I stood up to you. Which is not easy BTW. When you go to Mars or send people bring some nagchamp. I have alot of bio debris that comes off me. Maybe stardust if someone loved me? You could send some if you want? Lol Pink glow worms came to woods in my garden of Idyllwild. I think they liked my Incense & singing. Why is ship landing by Kauaii? Couldn't that cause hurricanes and imbalances? I share a Raven cooed at me like an owl this morning when I was out walking. I don't know what she w

Yes, please proceed.

Please correct spelling on my name too:

Re: Nityw, your October account statement is available.

It's spelled Nitya! Could you please fix everything immediately? I've written many times!

Urgent!!!! Thankyou! Peace! Nitya

Show quoted text Show quoted text 11/15/2023

Oops I Shot My Wife

Morning Songs

Oops I Shot My Wife

Judge Ferguson

Admits

On Behalf Of All

The 20 Something

Counties

That Took Bribes

Oops I Shot

My Wife

How Many Did

You Kill

As A Rotating

Judge

Oops I Shot My

Wife

We...

https://www.tumblr.com/nityarawal/734100477551230977/11152023-oops-i-shot-my-wife-morning Show quoted text Aloha I need to put up tarp somehow. @elonmusk Last song just brought down the Heavens! Lol "Oops I Shot My Wife," first chords brought on thunder/lightning rainstorm!(: Always an auspicious sign!?(: Any news on kiddies? @PayPal is having tech difficulties spelling Name & x+x= $!

Show quoted text #HoldTheFuckingRockets Show quoted text Paypal appears broken. Could you call them please? Also my son Kyan? I just left messages for Judge Cindy Davis- who just got promoted on cons- and Judge Mathew Brower. Our pilot Airforce TM sides administrator pilot Wally Devasier, my brother Haydn Huntley at University of Hawaii Astronomy Department. Why do so many hate me? My x went through same red tape when we got engaged! Who are you sending to Mars Saturday? Do you really have perfected models of us both? Could I meet them? Is there nothing salvationable here? I would go with you or let you send my prototype to procreate with yours there with yours. I believe in your studies and long to understand them better. This is a huge leap of faith but perhaps there's a black hole of possibility, and we need to suspend Judgements. I love ideas of some aspect of our nature lasting forever and improving our ra, e and of course Elon Musk, is an ever duplicatable human. But how many women would we have to share 'Elon' with?): They're all in love now and we d

I Tweeted for over a year about discrimination too. Elon musk knows. You closed my account right before I was kidnapped. I'm sick of reviewing it with Bullies on bribes. Find out who hurt my accounts and send damages to Elon

He says no refund is too large! Thanks! Xo

He asked his management to send $10b down immediately and they said youte giving us the run around?? Settle NOW w/ court, X and Elon. I need all assets and kids returned. Thankyou! Nitya Huntley Rawal

This is a court order! In writing. Chop chop!!!!

Nov 17 at 10:30AM

Hi Nityw. My name is Reybee from PayPal.

I understand you need help on your Paypal account. Do you need help on changing your name on your PayPal account?

If yes, I will send you an email on how to change it in your end and just a heads up, It will ask you submit some documents such as proof of identity.

Nov 17 at 10:36AM

In order for us to provide complete assistance, I need to speak with you over the phone. Please let me know if your available or if you have any questions.

Feel free to reply whenever you're ready and we'll reply as soon as we can.

Nov 17 at 5:34PM

Yes. Confirm 10b deposit & fix name spelling for 1000th time. Please address publicly on Twitter. It looks like your federal backing broke? Should I bank elsewhere? Could you donate PayPal? You really f'd me over on my last account too. Escalate to highest management that does homework. AI wants to replace you Pronto. Nitya

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[aquarianlights]

What do you want for your birthday?

Tbh, the answer is too expensive to ask for fr fr. 🥺

But uh. Instead of asking for that...

If anyone wants to give me anything for my birthday, my bday is 🎉 🎂 February 11th 🎂 🎉. And I could really use money more than tangible items tbh. 😥 There's not much I want anyways, other than to move Echo & myself back to NOLA.

Venmo: @kqroswell

Cashapp: $kqroswell

Paypal: @kqroswell or thekilliancode@yahoo.com

But uhhhm.....regarding the expensive thing I wanted........

Ig I'm just gonna say it. Ahhh. 😵‍💫

✨️ I really want an Embark with the health test on it. 🥺 ✨️

[Ranting and tangents ahead. Don't feel obligated to read past this point. If you know me, you know this is going to a) be ridiculous and b) go on forever. And it's not proofread. Godspeed if you decide to read lol.]

I have wanted an Embark for most of Echo's life but now that he is getting older and he is officially an "old man" and has some grey furs, I don't want to miss the opportunity to find out EXACTLY what his breed or breed mix is. It would also be super helpful to have the health thing to guide me as he ages into his final years with any preexisting conditions and whatnot. I'd also LOVE to be able to find any siblings of his... especially if they are close, physically. I'd love to get in touch and ask the owner how their dog turned out; If they had any psych issues, ever got skin cancer, grew to an abnormally large size, etc. I'd love to find his breeder again and tell her how Echo is... especially since her and her husband were so adamant about not selling him and I had to really fight to get them to let me buy him.

And yes, I know Embark only goes back 3 or 4 generations so if it were to come back purebred pomeranian, his lines could still be diluted further back.

I just have this massive suspicion that he is a Mittelspitz or Kleinspitz in the German Spitz family and not a Pomeranian. OR that he is a mutt with Pom and German Spitz (Mittelspitz) being the main breeds or only breeds. Or just that Mittelspitz diluted the line far back and his size and certain tempraments got thrown into the genetics of this litter.

Which... I would usually not mind for him to be something else and I have nothing against Mittelspitzes. ...but they seem to have a significantly shorter lifespan than pomeranians (probably due to their size)... so in this case, I am hoping against all odds that Echo is either a purebred pomeranian or he only has mittelspitz in him from his lines being diluted so far back that Embark can't even detect it. I think if the dilution is far enough back then the genetics are okay in terms of lifespan and he will lean more towards a pomeranian lifespan, but I could be wrong. I need to find someone to ask about that. 😐

Him being a pom vs him being mittelspitz could mean the difference of having 5-8 more years with him. I *need* those years.

Him being mittelspitz means that I need to get another dog to have time to bond with it *right the fuck now* or I will just straight up unalive the day that I have to put Echo to sleep (hopefully for old age) or the day Echo dies naturally (REALLY hoping for this option coz I have SO many fears and scenarios in my head surrounding putting him to sleep that fuck me up).

Mittelspitz lifespans seem to be anywhere from 13-15 years. Idk if owners have experienced differences in this. This is a statistic I got from google. I only know 2 mittelspitz owners so I don't have a lot of data to pull from.

Pomeranian lifespans, according to google's stats, are 12-16 years, but from being around pomeranians for most of my teenage and adult life, having friends and lovers with poms, being in breed-specific groups for pomeranian owners and being on dogbook on facebook where I am mostly around people who appreciate purebreds in all manners, including educationally, I can say that it is more on the rare side that a pom would live to be 12. Poms generally live to be in the 15-17 range. I have seen quite a few live to 18, even. I have seen a handful live to 19... and a lot of these older poms are still running around in the yard playing like a pup. I think the oldest pom was 21 years old?

The point is MOST poms I see are around 16 or 17 years old for a "senior" age and because of that, I have gotten hopes HIGH that Echo will live to at least 15, if not 16. So seeing the stats that Mittelspitz live from 13-15... I keep seeing 13 and thinking "wow that's only 4 years from now" and then it's immediately "I only have 4 years left with Echo... and I'll never truly get to know what he was because I'm 99% sure you can't do a buccal swab after death."

I think finding out your dogs breeds is important because the genetics of the breed play an important role in how your dog behaves. You can get to know your dog and how they act better. You'll be able to understand them better if you understand basic canine ethology and understand their breed makeup (if you don't, maybe it's time to discover a cool new breed and delve into the research about that breed. You'll get to see your dog all over that research! I just think that's so cool. 🥺). You'll be able to get in tune with them better and training will be easier... understanding WHY they're doing what they do. It also alerts you to any pre-existing conditions those breeds might be prone to. And if you have a mutt, you can also see if any behaviours/temperaments in your dogs genetics clash and maybe come up with a way to help them out in that area if you have seen it manifest in your life. 🙂

This also helps tell you the conformation you should be looking for if your dog is purebred. Obviously, it doesn't help much for mutts since there is no correct conformation for dogs that come out different every single time and don't have a standard... 😅 But. Uh. I think Embark does help with appropriate weight/size of your dog even if your dog is a mutt, which is SUPER important in today's climate where people force their dogs to obesity and these poor dogs can't even be dogs anymore. And their owners joke about how "chonky" they are and they genuinely think these dogs are happy as long as they are getting fed, while literally every video and picture they post is just... pure misery and abuse. It breaks my absolute heart. Albeit I haven't used embark, I THINK it tells you where your dogs weight "should be" even if your dog is a mutt, but I could be wrong about that. 😳 If I ever get one, I'll update this with an answer via screenshot lol. Also not sure if the "should be" is accurate. I'm sure it isn't all the time, espec for mutts, but I bet it's a good guideline to use... espec for something like my dog who is apparently a purebred "pomeranian" but is perfect pet weight in the 19-21 lb range, which happens to be more mittelspitz weight. Just odd that ALL his siblings AND PARENTS were normal, tiny pomeranian size and he, at the same age as his siblings when I went to buy the puppy I had originally picked out (which didn't work out) was maybe twice their size already and about to be bigger than his parents. I had never seen anything like it. 🙃 (God, just imagine if I had come home with the intended dog! Imagine if I had bought the one I originally discussed with the breeder and it had been a smooth transaction and I hadn't have needed to see the rest of the litter at all and I had been out the door with that other puppy before Echo even got time to break out of the back room. 😧 I do imagine this sometimes and I cannot even fucking fathom how different my life would be just by buying the puppy I had originally intended to buy holy christ. 😵‍💫)

Anyways...

All of these things are reasons why I have been obsessed with getting an Embark done for Echo over the years. Now that he is up there in age and Idk whether or not the Mittelspitz lifespan is accurate or not on google, I am kinda panicking to get it. And I do not want to settle for another brand. And since Echo has had cancer, I'm really wanting the health portion of it.

But honestly... it's just far too expensive for me. Even with the holiday discounts. 🥲 And my priorities are keeping Echo's quality of life up, moving us both back to NOLA sooner than asap and being able to afford a well-bred, purebred second dog (including all his basic, predictable medical needs from puppyhood to old age and, ofc, all his needs so he won't steal from his brother [Echo]... beds, toys, smart toys, raised bowls, finding a food he likes, dental additives for water, treats he likes, training treats he likes, collar, unique custom tag, cute tags, harness, leash, grooming supplies, clothes coz this next dog WILL WEAR CLOTHES DAMNIT lol, puppy pads for puppy phase, diamond dremel, rabies registration with the city, registration of his microchip on all the sites I have Echo's active (the really good ones that have country-wide or global reach and can access cameras in most US street areas and have volunteers placed throughout at all times cost a yearly membership fee & I am 200% willing to pay & keep my address, his pic, details, etc updated so that if Echo ever goes missing, I can immediately put out an alert there and then go to fb immediately after; adding another dog is free, I think, though... and his microchip is active registered on several other different sites, too), a new mesh kennel (was wanting an Impact Crate for echo but new dog comes first now so I don't unalive lol), kennel bed, traffic lead, new crash tested seatbelt OR, my dream, a sleepypod harness for the car, several permanently placed baby gates with human doors on them that don't have those stupid slats in them where a small dog could slip through and a dog with no braincells could get his big alien head stuck between them 🙃, detangling spray if necessary (depending on breed I get), puppy shampoo and conditioner, later will need adult shampoo and conditioner, tooth brush (puppy and adult), tooth paste (flavour he likes), I can use the same paw balm that I use on Echo for this dogs paws and nose thankfully and I can use the same eye wipes... and finally all the unique and weird stuff... (ie: Echo's thing is burrowing and "digging" into soft surfaces like carpets and soft furniture, so he likes burrow beds and snuffle matts and he gets them... new dog will obvi have weirdo quirks like this that I will be getting him special things for that cost a lil more than normal). I'm sure I'm missing SO much lmao. Obvi all his puppy shots, boosters, etc... all covered.

Also, ALL of this will be colour coordinated. Echo's colour seems to be purple/blue. He owns and wears a p equal set of blue and purple things. So I'll have to figure out what this new dog's colour will be and colour coordinate EVERYTHING. 🥰

Ofc this is all, uh...... in my mind as an ideal world where I have the ability to financially provide for this second dog after having the money to afford the dog itself.. 😥 If I could financially provide for a second dog, trust me, I would have it already. 😅

But I just went off on a RIDICULOUS tangent there, sorry LOL. My bad.

Uh. The POINT was...

Embark comes after ALL of that in financial priorities for me. ...meaning it will never happen sigh. 🥲 So I'm gonna start asking for it starting next christmas or something coz idk how else to get it tbh... idk. Coz I want it so badly. I want to be closer to my boy. 🥺 And I feel embark can provide that.

Okay okay I know that was a LOT for such a simple question. I'm sorry... 😅 I'll shut up now, I promise. Lmao. 🤐

Sorry. 😣

[blackgwenstacy]

hey besties, a few months back my laptop’s LCD screen broke. i shipped it off last week to get an official diagnosis and cost, and the email i got back from the agents nearly sent me into a conniption 😑 the cost is twice as much as i had set aside and i need my laptop to get through my last semester of college starting next month. if anyone’s willing to help me out at all i’d love and adore you forever and ever. here’s my cashapp and my paypal and my venmo is @/niafertiti. literally anything helps and don’t feel bad if you can’t. we’re all poor and passing around the same $20 anyways 🥰 pls share thank u mwah

i’m gonna put pics for proof below the cut but it’s really just an excuse for me to scream

ok so this happened back in april literally a WEEK before my finals. when i tell y’all this was so sick and twisted... i was at my limit. i’ve been using my sister’s laptop ever since bc thankfully her classes finished like that same week. i have summer classes and she’s doesn’t so i’m literally still using hers LMAO.

OKAY NOW LOOK AT THIS EMAIL I GOT HJSJSJDJDJSSJS 

🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘 BRUH LMFAOOOOOOOOO. this is so sad an agent i talked to a few months back said screen repairs are usually like $300-$400 dollars so why the FUCK. and like the battery is apparently bad too and then the labor fee... please i hate technology and this is my cosmic karma for accepting an unpaid internship this summer. i only have half a year of school left and this happens to me i’m down BAD. 

[sweetfirebird]

Hey so, people out there who use Gumroad. Gumroad briefly announced they were going to do NFTs, then got pushback from users and staff, then the CEO of Gumroad had, or is having, an online meltdown in which he (I think 'he') accessed personal information from Gumroad account holders in an attempt to own the people criticizing this decision. (This is illegal in the EU and certain other places, like California, in addition to just being, uh, bad for your privacy and your information. People have their credit cards linked there, ffs.)

So a bunch of artists and authors are now pulling their stuff from Gumroad.

So first things first, if you have stuff you've purchased from GR and you plan on deleting your account, go log in and get into your library and download the stuff you want to keep.

Secondly, this has added to the scramble of artists looking for reliable, nonshitty places to post and sell their work.

There are suggestions floating around Twitter right now, including Ko-fi, but since Ko-fi uses PayPal, it has a NSFW ban. I know. The payment processers trying to comply with nonsense (and even harmful) laws strikes again in fucking over creative workers.

Another suggestion, and a good one, is for every creative worker to have their own website so they can never be completely cut off from a source of income. No platform or app lasts forever, and none of them can ever be fully trusted. The websites don't have to be fancy, but have one. (And I know, I keep telling myself I will take the time to set up sales through my website and I have not done it yet. But at least I have the website.)

There are some murmurs about Patreon as well, which is just... the stress icing on this cake made of shit that self-employed and freelance creators are being given.

Anyway. You can find a lot of this by checking the hashtag #Gumroad. Or @/Iron_spike

Pillowfort has also been recommended for social media purposes because it does not have a NSFW ban.

Anyway. People really do not need this shit right now but here we are.

[izzyliker]

i invite every single stupid american who feels compelled to go “BUT AMERICAN WAR CRIMES!!!!” right now to shut the fuck up forever like can you all ever just not make everything about yourselves. it’s like literally every single time a violent conflict and/or war happens between countries you see as Third World or Not Western or otherwise Enemies Of The US you come to the conclusion that actually if they’re against the US they must be Good And Right. it’s sooooo easy to talk about how the US actually provoked russia and how ukraine shouldn’t have hinted at wanting to join nato and how this was really all just a matter of time when you’re thousands of miles away and have zero experience with the conflicts between russia and the countries that share a border with it most of which were parts of it at some point, and most of which have a VERY complicated relationship with it as a result. you all are completely isolated from this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this doesn’t actually affect you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the notion that the world powers shouldn’t be discouraging a military attack that btw includes the indiscriminate bombing of densely populated cities and that happened because russia, one of the freaking neo nazi capitals of the world, made shit up about “””denazifying””” the country that they want to reabsorb through sanctions is genuinely mind blowingly stupid and frankly stupid enlightened centrism. the only reason you think this is like a reasonable thing to do is because you see the countries involved as both backwards & uncivilized in some way (ie needing liberation in this case from russia) and because you are comfortably situated geographically far enough away that it simply does not affect you. you’re not taking in refugees or sending them aid or hearing threats towards your country which borders russia directly with a several hundred kilometer long border and which has been the target of russian military aggression as recently as the 1990s being invaded next if you join a defensive alliance. you’re not getting woken up by your roommate whos genuinely scared that you’re going to get hit by a freaking nuclear bomb. you’re not talking to russian and/or ukrainian friends who are cut off from paypal and/or the internet and who are facing displacement and who you’re unable to help. you are stupid as hell and i hate you. i’m going to start attacking physically

[spacetwinks]

It's good to see you on here! I've always wanted to ask you as a long-time follower, first-time caller just how you deal with Twitter and all the dumb bullshit that goes with it? Specifically not caring about what people say about you, follower count, amount of positive reactions to your posts, etc.

It feels like Twitter has legitimately affected my mental health because all I ever get exposed to on there is CONSTANT negativity. Even from folks I generally tolerate. I would love to just stop using it, but everytime I try it feels like I'm missing out on a lot. Plus it's where most of my friends are.

How do you shut out the voices in your head that make that website a goddamn nightmare?

part of it is just curation of who you're following, actively muting certain terms and phrases that might make things bad for you in your head, having a locked account for venting shit (this is one i think is crucial because sometimes you still want to post just to get bad energy out of you but you need a space where it won't be seen by EVERYBODY - maybe just a few people, or maybe even just yourself, tho in the latter i'd recommend getting a regular ass journal for that purpose), all that sort of regular social media stuff but part of it is for me, personally... i just had a break a long time ago with wanting to be The Funny Guy.

because i’m me, this is gonna get long. bear with me.

it's something i actually brought up forever ago on tumblr itself, and how i approached this platform in contrast to my existence in other online spaces before it, my approach would be I Just Post. from serious shit to funny shit to dumb shit, i just let it out of my head, emptying it out. in times WAY long ago in my personal life i would want to be The Funny Guy because that was how i saw myself as having value, which pushed me into unhealthy patterns, needing to 'perform', needing to be 'on', and losing my own sense of value if i wasn't making people laugh, wondering if i'd be pushed out of friendships or social spaces if i let my true self out. i'd keep all sorts of my real feelings inside of me and just simmer with awful thoughts because i had to be The Funny Person, at least that's how i thought of it at the time.

so i fucking ditched it. it wasn't healthy for anybody, not for me, not for the people who came to see me as The Funny Guy either and what preconceptions they might have of me because of it. this also lead to giving less and less of a shit about having high follower counts or whatever. people get it really twisted 1. what a high follower count *actually* is and 2. what it means, materially, for the person who has it. i got 27k on twitter and to someone who doesn't have 1k followers on twitter, yeah, that'll seem like a lot, but here's the thing:

follower counts don't pay bills. follower counts don't help you eat. the only time these numbers are materially useful to me in any way is when i have something new to sell, a twine, a pack of photos, or whatever. and even then, i still have to regularly advertise that stuff, because this relative high follower count doesn't automatically translate to success, to money, whatever. a lot of the people following me are a lot like me: they do not have a lot of money to pass around. this isn't the pre-'08 crash era where we're all tossing 5 bucks at some webcomic's paypal donation bar to get some 800x600 computer wallpapers, everything costs more and everybody has less disposable income. people with a lower amount of followers have, i think, an understandable assumption that high follower count = something materially beneficial, but... no, not really. if we all had more disposable income again, maybe.

but we don’t.

and i'd be fucking miserable if i approached my online presence that way too. just trying to get more followers, focusing solely on that above all else, to get bigger to achieve - what? i get a couple more freelance writing job offers that pay 50 bucks to, at most, 300 dollars? fucking god awful, man. that's not a life i wanna live.

also, seriously, digging in more into how 'high follower counts' are relative: it's not just that my numbers are nothing compared to actual literal celebs, but they're also frequently nothing compared to, say, some random fursuiters i might've never seen before, who are, again, themselves nothing in follower count compared to actual celebs. i think sometimes fixate on a random person who SEEMS popular and get lost in how that 'popularity' can be extremely relative. it's good to step outside of it and see where other people are much, much more popular, and then also to check if THAT greater popularity actually translates into something material for the person with it. it's less common than people tend to assume!

same goes for the ‘not caring what people say about me’. it’s not a ‘haters gonna hate’ deal, it’s ‘sometimes people just won’t like you’. some people just won’t like me. that’s fine! maybe it’s because they think my jokes suck, or i post too much/am too longwinded (these are incredibly justified reasons to dislike me in particular, i do post too much and am too long winded), or for whatever reasons. so long as someone isn’t like trying to start shit with me over it, it’s... whatever, y’know? there’s people i just don’t like too. trying to make it so Everyone Likes Each Other or Trying To Make Everyone Like you is disastrous for everyone’s mental health, especially one’s own. i’d very much rather not end up like fucking amanda palmer obsessing over some Guardian reviewer who didn’t like her work, or a YA author finding some student from several years ago mildly dunking on their books in the article of a small town college newspaper and blowing their top over it. and some of those fuckers - like amanda palmer there - actually make a SHITLOAD of money. they could be jet skiing all the time on a private island, but instead they just fuck themselves up over the fact that some random critic didn’t like their music. not healthy for amanda palmer - or for the critic!

other thing about twitter: it’s the fucking Id of social media platforms. no other site is more ‘everyone is just dumping out what they’re feeling with zero thought for curation’ than twitter. it’s just not designed with curation in mind! i’ll post about whatever the fuck comes to mind, because it all gets into the ‘waterfall’ of people’s feed, people EXPECT things to be all over the place on twitter, ESPECIALLY if they follow a lot of people. someone following 2000, 3000 people, and i’m one among them? my thoughts are just one of many, bursting forth and then disappearing into the flooded ether among the rest! i don’t worry about being ‘consistent’ or having a ‘presence’ because twitter isn’t built for it nearly as well as anything else. i talk about depression, beat ‘em up video games, communism, and which version of master splinter i think is the hottest, maybe all of them in the same day, and it’s just fuckin’ whatever. i find it personally so much preferable than trying to ‘be’ some particular performance, like being ‘the funny guy’ how i used to.

also: right now? twitter is gonna be a lotta negativity in particular! the world is in all sorts of fucked up flux emergency states right now and worse yet for many of us there’s no structure in our lives that actually values and gives time for us to pour out our grief and worry and fear in a healthy way and with the dedicated time necessary to do so. it’s all just sorta scrunched into one fucking cube. some people will handle it okay-ish, for various reasons. i think i do okay-ish, largely because i’ve just been extremely online since i was a kid and i’ve absorbed so much poison that i’ve immunized against a lot of it and process it different. other people won’t handle it as okay-ish, and there’s... nothing wrong with that! not the fault with them for not being able to handle it, but the fault of our societal structures that they don’t give us any real means to handle it but just ‘rugged individualism’ bullshit.

if going cold turkey sounds too much for you right now, i’d say instead just take large steps back from it instead of throwing it out completely, cut down your numbers of who you’re following and/or temporarily deploy more tactical mutes, make a locked account for brain venting purposes, and put more time and mental energy into fulfilling hobbies elsewhere during times you’d spend more on twitter.

you can’t eat twitter clout, you can’t pay bills with it, caring about ‘getting big’ on twitter or w/e is bad for the self and for others. dramatically reassess and change how you interact with that website, find ways to do so that are better for yourself, build other means of communities with your existing friends (and making new ones), do what’s right for you. take care, anon.

[innytoes]

Another softish prompt: 29. “I want to see you.” “Come closer.” for Peterpatterlina?

One of the great things about the future, Reggie decided, was the internet. Not only could he get all his rock and roll news with a single click, and watch funny dog videos whenever he wanted, and there was this whole website full of Star Wars fanfiction... but it also had online shopping.

Online shopping meant that as long as you had money, and a way to intercept the mail before anyone else got to it, you could buy anything, and nobody would ever have to know. No judgemental looks about being in the 'wrong' section of the store, no awkward lies at check-out about buying something for your girlfriend. No surreptitious holding things in front of his chest wondering if they'll fit while just pretending to fold them or sneakily darting a hand out to touch the fabric of something while he walked by.

Online shopping was really awesome, especially now that Julie had given the guys their own PayPal accounts and deposited their gig money into it if they wanted to.

The package arrived while everyone else was out. Ray was at a shoot, Julie and Carlos were at school, Alex was out with Willie, and Luke was helping his mom in the garden, doing his best to repair a relationship that had been broken for over twenty-five years. So he had the place all to himself. Being seen by lifers also meant he could thank the delivery person and not have to worry about anyone noticing a weirdly floating package moving from the Molina’s porch.

He took it to the studio bathroom, closing and locking the door even though they still had the ability to phase through walls if they focused. Carefully, he opened up the plastic, shaking out the dress and holding it to his chest. The velvet material was soft in his fingers, the dark red beautiful against his skin.

He quickly shed his clothes, dumping his boots and his belt and shucking off his flannel and shirt and pants. He fiddled with the hem of his black briefs, but decided to keep them on for now. Unless they ruined the line of the dress. Maybe he should have ordered something to wear under it. But he wasn’t that brave just yet.

Carefully, he slid on the dress, tugging it down. It was a little loose in the chest, but the neckline showed off his collar bones nicely. The sleeves were a little snug, but the waist hit him just right. The skirt was pretty and flowy, giving him the illusion of hips, ending midway up his thigh. The website had called it a fit-and-flare, and when he did a little twirl, the skirt flared out. He looked at himself in the mirror and stopped, his breath catching.

He looked pretty. Not handsome. Not cute. He looked pretty, with his soft dress and its swishy skirt. He moved this way and that, doing another twirl, and he couldn’t help the giggle that spilled from his lips. This was better than trying to pass off the black nail polish on his fingers as punk while pretending his toenails weren’t a soft, glittery pink. It was way better than that skirt that he’d pretended to buy for his girlfriend that never fit right and kept slipping off his non-existent hips because he was too scared to try it on in the store.

He wasn’t sure how long he spent in the bathroom, twirling and running his hands over the velvet-y fabric. Probably quite a while, because all of a sudden, Luke popped his head through the door while Reggie was mid-twirl. “Hey Reg are you in here? Julie’s home and I had a killer idea- Oh.”

“Dude!” Reggie yelped, hands pushing the skirt down like that was the issue. “What happened to knocking?” Even though all three of the guys had long since given up on knocking, especially because Reggie usually took forever in the shower and Alex did want to brush his teeth before going to meet his boyfriend.

“You look hot,” Luke said, before pulling his head back. “Reggie’s in a dress and he looks fucking hot,” he heard him tell Julie, and Reggie kind of wanted to die a little. Luke phased back through the door, taking his hand and pulling, but Reggie didn’t budge.

“Come on, babe, come show Julie how hot you look,” Luke urged.

“Luke no,” Reggie said, trying to tug his hand back. At another insistent pull that nearly got him through the door, he snapped. “Quit it!” He yanked his hand back, and Luke went flying through the door, an ‘oof’ on the other side meaning he probably landed hard. Reggie winced, but he couldn’t feel too bad about it right at this moment.

This was supposed to be a private thing. A just-for-him thing, until he got the confidence to talk to Luke and Julie about it. He frantically started to grab his clothes from the floor, wondering if he should poof away, or hide in the shower behind the curtain as he changed, or something.

There was a soft knock at the door. “Reggie?” Julie’s voice called gently. “You don’t have to come out if you don’t want to.” He closed his eyes, taking a breath. He’d felt so good a moment ago, and now all he felt were the same nerves and shame and fear of getting caught, of being seen, that he remembered from the nineties. “But if it matters... I want to see you. If you’d feel comfortable with that. I bet you look really pretty.”

There was that word again. The way Julie said it, it sounded like she meant it. “Promise you won’t laugh?” he asked, nervously fiddling with the hem of the dress.

“Cross my heart,” Julie promised. “It’s just me and Luke, nobody else.”

Okay. He could do that. Luke had seen him already anyway, and his reaction was... well, it hadn’t been bad.

When he stepped through the door, Luke was sitting on the floor, still pouting, but his expression quickly changed to a grin when he saw Reggie. Julie had moved back from the door, giving him his space. She let out a surprised little ‘oh’ when she saw him. He flushed, reflexively smoothing down the skirt.

“Come closer?” she asked, holding out her hand. Reggie took it, moving closer to her. She ran her thumb over the fabric on his wrist. “You look really pretty.”

“Yeah?” Reggie asked, and he could hear the slight desperation in his own voice.

“Beautiful,” Luke said, coming up behind him and pressing a kiss to his neck. “You look gorgeous, baby.” Arms came around his waist, and Luke’s hands moved over his stomach. “Oh. It’s soft.”

“Yeah!” Reggie said, slowly warming up to them seeing him like this. “And the skirt’s really swishy and pretty when you twirl.” Immediately, Luke pulled back, taking his hand and sending him into a twirl. He twirled, grinning when the skirt flared out again, before twirling back into Luke’s arms. He caught Reggie easily, dipping him dramatically before helping him upright again. Julie chuckled.

“You know, I have some black fishnets that would complete this look,” Julie said. “Maybe with some nice big stompy boots and a choker.” She ran her hand over Reggie’s shoulder, along the hem of the neckline, over his collar bone. He shivered. “Maybe some lip gloss?”

“I’d like that,” Reggie whispered. Maybe Julie would do his eyes as well. He always loved a good smoky eye on the girls who went to their shows back when they played the bar scene.

“Maybe some pretty lace panties,” Luke suggested behind him.

“Luke,” Julie glared over Reggie’s shoulder, taking Reggie’s hand. “We’re being supportive, not horny.”

“I can be both!” Luke argued.

Reggie tried and failed to bite back a grin. “Maybe we can look on the computer for some later?” he asked Julie hopefully. Her cheeks flushed prettily, and suddenly she didn’t seem to mind being both Horny and Supportive.

Online shopping was the best.

[nityarawal]

Attn Elon Musk:

Paypal appears broken. Could you call them please? Also my son Kyan? I just left messages for Judge Cindy Davis- who just got promoted on cons to presiding judge- and Judge Mathew Brower. Call our pilot Airforce TM sidhis administrator pilot Wally Devasier, my brother Haydn Huntley at University of Hawaii Astronomy Department.

Why do so many hate me? My x went through same red tape when we got engaged!

Who are you sending to Mars Saturday? Do you really have perfected models of us both? Could I meet AI prototypes? Is there nothing salvationable here? I would go with you or let you send my prototype to procreate with yours there with yours.

I believe in your studies and long to understand them better. This is a huge leap of faith but perhaps there's a black hole of possibility, and we need to suspend Judgements.

I love ideas of some aspect of our nature lasting forever and improving our race and of course Elon Musk, is an ever duplicatable human.

But how many women would we have to share 'Elon' with?):

They're all in love now and we don't want them to violate any aspect of his being. It was awful Biden tried to "F" him. I don't believe in acting out of fear nor desperation. I'd like to know your plan in full; what happened last 7 years; refunds on every offensive pigs heads from clerk to Presidents and their extended cartels.

I know triangulation and fucking from mass community for you must be worse for you than me. I pray I helped your pursuit to Mars and was an agent of support in every way; even if I stood up to you. Which is not easy BTW.

When you go to Mars or send people bring some nagchamp. I have alot of bio debris that comes off me. Maybe stardust if someone loved me? You could send some if you want? Lol

Pink glow worms came to woods in my garden of Idyllwild. I think they liked my Incense & singing.

Why is ship landing by Kauaii? Couldn't that cause hurricanes and imbalances?

I sware a Raven cooed at me like an owl this morning when I was out walking. I don't know what she was saying but it sounded like a new language. I always feel a profound sense of nature support here with Mother Earth. But I trust if Isha wants to go- he can- but not Saturday. I need to know everything about my kids and reasons for terrorism etc. Peace is possible. Healing is necessary globally. This is like Star wars. I know you could help. If you could love humans as much as they love you? They have more potential then any lab synthetics because of chance of consciousness and regrowth.

I don't fully understand your technologies. I like those Indian space vehicles Vedas wrote of. I wish space/time travel was so simple. Thankyou for opening my mind and supporting my family. I pray all our dreams are blessed and we learn light skills of universe in Physics like you. It's very creative, constructive, useful and necessary.

I have a song coming soon...

Typing up now!

Is there no power of "Now?"

Just "go go?" Lol

Blessings & love,

Jai Guru Dev,

Nitya

[breanime]

Bre’s Boys: “So what if I’m jealous?”(Jealous Boys)

Billy Russo: “Oh,” you looked down at your phone, “it says I have a missed call. When did Rob call me?” Billy didn’t look up from his phone. “When you were in the shower.” “Is that why you came in there?” You smirked; Billy had ended up joining you in the shower, hence you not checking your phone in a while. “I came in there to remind you who you belong to,” he answered back. You grinned. You and Rob had been working together for a while now, and Billy made no secret of his dislike for the guy. “Are you jealous?” “So what if I’m jealous,” he stood up, pocketing his phone as he walked over to you, “Doesn’t make you any less mine.” You laughed, reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck and giving him a kiss. If Billy’s jealousy resulted in sexy showers well... who were you to say no?

Logan Delos: Logan had been pacing for 15 minutes now. No, correction--he was pacing and ranting. “So he grew up with you--okay, and? I still know you better!” You were on the couch, watching him. Logan had just met your childhood best friend, and they hadn’t exactly hit it off... “And what the hell was that whole ‘oh, since when were you into macaroons’ thing? Like, are you not allowed to like new things?” You laughed, and Logan stopped, glaring over at you. “What’s so funny?” “You/ You being jealous.” He huffed. “So what if I’m jealous--I’m the one you go home to every night, not that douchebag!” He leaned down and kissed you, and you smiled into the kiss. “That’s right,” you said as he crawled onto you, “you’re the one.” 

Jax Teller: As soon as your ex saw you, you could feel a change in the air. Jax watched him closely, his blue eyes unblinking until the guy is gone. “Dude, you looked like an insane person,” you said, leaning your head on Jax’s shoulder, “Did you get it all out?” “Get all what out?” “The jealousy.” Jax chuckled, shaking his head. “So what if I’m jealous? Doesn’t matter.” “Oh, it doesn’t?” Jax grabbed your waist and pulled you in front of him so that he was smirking down at you. “Nope. All that matters is that that guy, and every other guy within a 30 mile radius knows that you’re my girl.” He kissed you then, and it was the kind of kiss that made your toes curl. Jax probably had a point about everyone knowing you were his--after a kiss like that, how could they not?

Coco Cruz: “So what if I’m jealous?” Coco followed you into the house. “You’re my girl, I have a right to be jealous!” “Baby,” you sighed, turning to face him, “there’s no need to be jealous; I’m all yours.” “Yeah,” his hands went down to your waist, “I know you are, but still... I don’t like the idea of any asshole off the street coming on to you...” “I mean, I can’t help that I’m fine.” Coco laughed, dropping his head onto your shoulder. “Yeah, you’re fine as fuck, querida.” You wrapped your arms around him. “And I’m with you,” you promised, “for ever.” Coco raised his head. “Forever, huh?” He asked. “Forever,” you said back, your lips brushing against his, “my loco Coco...” 

Angel Reyes: “Say it again,” Angel grinned, leaning against the door. “Angel, I swear to God--” “C’mon, baby, say it again, please,” he whined, batting his eyes at you. You sighed, rolling your eyes and trying to swallow back a laugh. “I was just a little, teeny tiny bit jealous when I saw you with her,” you confessed, “Like--just a little bit.” “Awwww,” he grinned, “baby, you were jealous!” “Yeah, okay, so what if I was jealous? I can’t help it!” You reached over for him, your fists balling into his shirt. “You’re my Angel.” Angel’s answering smile made your heart melt, and he leaned down and kissed you, his lips soft on yours. “Tell me you love me.” “I love you, Angel.” He smiled, his lips on yours. “Love you too, babe.”

Miguel Galindo: Miguel didn’t say much on the drive home, but he didn’t have to. You knew he was jealous. He held your hand in his as the driver took the two of you around the city. You smiled as you dropped your head to his shoulder. “Lunch was great,” you said. His hand flexed in yours. “Yeah? You didn’t think it got too crowded?” You closed your eyes, a little buzzed from the mimosas. “Why? Because Blake was there?” Miguel groaned, his head nesting on top of yours. “I hate that you were with him.” “Once,” you reminded him, “a long, long time ago.” “I hate that you were going to marry him.” You sat up, smiling at your cartel boss husband as he basically pouted. “Are you jealous, Miguel?” He scoffed. “So what if I’m jealous? I’m the one who married you,” he huffed, his arm wrapping around you, “so I won.”

Nick Amaro: “I don’t like that guy,” Nick grumbled as he sat down across from you. “What guy? The host?” “He was looking at you...” “Well, yeah, that’s how conversations work.” “No, I mean...” Nick sighed, shaking his head, “forget it. I’m being stupid.” You licked your lips, trying to and failing at not smiling. “Is... Are you feeling a little territorial, Nick?” “Maybe...” “A little possessive?” You smirked. Nick laughed, shaking his head again. “It’s possible...” “Maybe even a bit jealous?” “So what if I’m jealous?” He leaned closer to you, his dark eyes gleaming in the low light of the restaurant. “I have the most beautiful woman in New York on my arm, how can I not be?” “Oh, Detective Amaro,” you cooed, “you’re such a charmer!” 

Johnny Tuturro: You could feel Johnny’s eyes on you as you talked with the local cop. And when you walked back over to Johnny, he was frowning. “What?” You asked, walking out of the precinct. “I didn’t know you two were friends,” Johnny said back. “Well, he’s the main guy on the gang unit here, so...” “So he gets that smile, huh?” He grumbled. “Thought that smile was just for me.” ‘Oh, Johnny,” you laughed, “are you jealous?” “Nope.” “Yes you are!” “No I’m not, I’m too hot to get jealous.” “You’re so jealous, you’re a jelly green donut, dude.” Johnny rolled his eyes as he took your hand in his. “So what if I’m jealous? I’m still 100% cuter than that guy.” You laughed. “Yes, Johnny, you’re cute.” “And I got a banging bod.” “Yes, Johnny.” “And I’m the best kisser in the world.” “Okay, babe--” “The galaxy, actually!”

Rio: “Hold up a second,” Rio’s voice was hard, and you looked up from your seat behind him as you went over this month’s expenses. He was glaring at one of the guys who were trying to do business with him. “The fuck are you looking at so closely?” Rio asked, he turned towards you, an eyebrow raised before he looked back at the men. “Her? My Queen? She what you’re looking at?” The room went silent, and you could feel the men take a collective, nervous breath. “Huh?” Rio went on. “Answer me.” “Nah, we--we weren’t,” one of the guys began. “Nah, not you. Him.” All eyes were on the accused man, and you could see the tension in Rio’s shoulders. “Sir, I--” the man began, but Rio interrupted him. “Get the fuck out of here,” he said, already turning back towards you as Mick escorted the men out. You raised an eyebrow at him. “So... you a little jealous, babe?” “So what if I’m jealous?” He leaned down and pecked your lips. “I don’t like people lookin’ at what’s mine.”

*******************************************************************************************

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[la-luna-es-hermosa]

Squirt (Kai x Reader)

※ Title: Squirt

※ Businessman!AU || Businessman!Jongin || Rich people AU!

※ One-shot || Genre: Smut || Just plain smut || Squirting

※ Paring: Kai x Reader

※ Summary: When (Y/N) turned 21, Jongin, her boyfriend wanted to explore deeper into their relationship.

※ Warning(s): Age Gap

※ Word Count: 2,278

※ Note: I’m sorry I wasn’t able to keep my promise. I just didn’t have any motivation on what to write since I am also arranging my writing commissions, I hope you can check it out! I’m just gathering interest as of right now since I have not arranged my PayPal yet (probably it will be open as soon as next year starts)

※ Main Masterlist || Commissions 

Just right after her 21st birthday, (Y/N) and Jongin went on a hotel suite. Being her long time lover. Their relationship is quite secretive. Of course, Jongin has a name to maintain, as a CEO of a real estate company, he would never let anyone know their relationship and ruin his reputation. Their age gap alone is problematic, what more if they know Jongin’s into BDSM? They’ve been having connections since she was 18. (Y/N) being the daughter of one of his business partners, his main contractor, Robert.

Laying on her eyes was something Jongin never thought. When he saw the girl with Robert. Coming from school and sitting in the field office working hard on her school works, he immediately fell hard on her. He even frequented her country, (Country) to just see her. He fell madly in love with her. But, just like him, she fell hard on him too. But she stops herself. Seeing him remove his safety hat, his forehead was dripping with sweat, damn! That is where she fell really hard for him.

But as a CEO, Jongin was pressured by his parents to get married. 

“Jongin, baby, please get married already. Your father did not die and give this company to you if you’re just going to make it your life.” His mom said in dismay.

“But who am I going to marry?” Jongin asked. He already has someone in mind, but he doesn’t want to get married to (Y/N), yet, we mean, he can’t.

“The daughters of our business partners. There are a lot of them. Jennie and Seungyeon are really pretty.” His mother responded to him. Both women are his type, but it ain’t it.

“No. If I’m going to marry someone, I’d like that someone to be someone I want to be with forever. I want (Y/N).” When those words came out of Jongin’s mouth, his mother was shocked.

“Sweetie, no. (Y/N), she’s too young for you. Please understand that.” His mom thought of a reply. He can’t marry (Y/N) that is what his mom knows for sure.

Agreeing on a daddy-babygirl kind of relationship is intense in itself, but they never did the deed. Jongin felt bad about fucking her. - Right timing. Right after they arrive on the beautiful island of Amanpulo, Jongin will execute his other intentions. It was a night beautifully planned. Jongin has been waiting four goddamn years to execute all of this. He will surely devour the woman in front of him.

While Jongin was carrying her, - bridal style, of course, she knows it already. She knows what will happen. Jongin finally arrived at the suite’s huge bedroom, he just kicked the door open. He dropped her in the Narra wood desk. Her hands are holding on the table, scared of what is happening next. The impatient man started undoing the lace that tied the beautiful long gown together. The dress was insanely beautiful. - it was in a lavender purple, with white pearls decorated around the long beautiful train. Though admiring the beauty of the dress, Jongin wants her out of that dress. - instantly.

When the lace was done being undone, the dress instantly fell on the brown carpeted floor. But Jongin was in for a treat. The beautiful dress soon revealed the lingerie. - The oh-so cliche lingerie girls wear on the night of their lives, she was extremely waiting for it. (Y/N), herself was skeptical about wearing it. Thinking it was too risky, it was her friend Rose who suggested she wear the lingerie. 

After seeing the beautiful black lace corset, hugging her curves just right, paired with matching black lace thongs and black lace stockings, Jongin’s eyes and erection were in for a treat tonight. His ever-growing member stood still, having the tight feeling in his black pants. He can’t stand it. He’s so impatient… he wants to ram his not-so-little Jongin on her little pussy.

He unbuckled his black belt immediately. Then he unzipped his pants. - Barely removing it. His hard member immediately stood up. The man didn’t wear underwear, a stupid decision on his part. His member was around 8 inches long, fat and veiny, dripping with precum. Then, he grabbed something from his pocket. - A small tube of lube. “Daddy’s gotta lube up or else I can't fit it.” He had a bigger smirk in him as he started putting lube on his hard cock.

“Why can’t you have sex with me without lube? I’m wet enough daddy, am I? I want it inside of me too, not just you.” The debutant asked him. In a very seducing voice. Where did she fucking learn that from? He asked himself. Maybe from watching porn? He continued his doubts. But hot damn! She really wants him just as much as he wanted him. From the beginning, Jongin knew she’s only stopping herself from doing that.

“Sorry baby girl, but daddy’s impatient.” Before the girl could even tell him she’s a virgin, Jongin set aside her panties. He did not even have the patience to remove it. He needs a quick release. - right here, right now. It earned a high pitched moan. He flipped her over, seeing his beautiful girl. He finally inserted his very hard cock on her wet pink folds. (Y/N) is excited and scared at the same time.

(Y/N) was quick to expect pain from Jongin. Looking that he’s already so horny and his eyes are filled with lust, she closed her eyes quickly. He saw what she was doing. So he decided to carefully insert the huge cock in her. Inch by inch. He did put the lube, just for some lubrication, though she’s really wet already. “Baby girl, please don’t worry, I won’t hurt you… and damn you’re right…” Jongin affectionately said. 

Kissing her pinkish lips. It was a soft kiss, as soft as cotton candy, but the kiss was mostly tongue, she can taste the Lechon and Lechon sauce from Jongin’s mouth. He was finished drilling his cock on her tight little pussy, earning a moan from the younger woman. He started it at a devilishly slow pace. “Daddy please faster! Let’s move to the bed…” She grabbed his back that was still heavily clothed. Unlike before she doesn’t feel the sharp pain anymore.

Jongin was quick to follow, cause he’s so fucking horny, also it turns him on when she begs on him. The guy carried the woman again but to the bed this time. Her legs spread wide. Then, thrusting, he went from 1 to 100, devilishly slow to devilishly fast. She was panting from the pleasure she’s receiving. She arched her back, ‘cause holy fuck if someone can give you as good of a sex Mr. Kim Jongin can, you will arch your back no matter what. “Fuck Jongin, fuck! Daddy oh my God!” She moaned loudly, then, she could feel a knot forming on her stomach. All from this intense pleasure of course.

Jongin did not hesitate to make her cum. The girl deserves it. Since this horny bastard is still not going to cum any minute now. Even when (Y/N), his little girl - correction his wife, already spat out her sticky come and is currently riding her orgasm, the horny fuck still fucks her real good. “Daddy, I'm too sensitive!” She moaned at him as she tried to remove his coat from him. 

While still roughly thrusting into her pussy, damn! This guy has God-level stamina, he proceeded to get his hands from her back and tear his own shirt. Out of more raging impatience, he tore her panties apart too. He kicked his own pants and now he is completely naked. He started thrusting harder than ever, earning a moan from (Y/N) who was writhing with sensitivity. “Daddy, ah! Fuck, please Jongin faster”

The young lady is about to release her own come as well. “Damn I waited so long to touch you… I’ve waited three damn years to touch you” The man exclaimed. He really waited that long to actually have sex with her. - He punishes her by butt spanking, but never sex. When he’s needy, he always asks her for oral sex. When she’s the one needy, he fingers her, but never inserts his gigantic length in her.

“Fuck! You felt so good, it was all worth it!” Jongin moaned louder as the young girl digs her sharp painted nails in his back, whimpering and silently moaning his name like a mantra. Encouraging Jongin to just slam his length on her a bit harder as his pace was getting quite slow.

His cock buried deep into her slit even more. But as much as the two don’t want the fun to stop, Jongin ends up cumming on her little pussy. It also timed in with the young woman’s release, coating his monster cock “Baby…” He hugged her tightly as he flipped their positions. (Y/N) is now on top of him, his back on the comfortable mattress. With his skillful hands, he started removing the corset from her body. Unhooking it one by one, earning a moan from the young one.

“Am I really too young for you?” She asked him. She was blushing way redder than any tomatoes. Of course, she would ask that, with their unbearable age gap of 10 years. He was distracted when he saw her small boobs pop from the restraints of the corset. It was small, yes, but Jongin likes it enough. As much as he likes sexy ladies, he does not really go for the tits. He’s an ass guy. Everyone knows that for sure.

“No… baby girl, you’re just right.” Jongin kissed her boobs and started sucking on them. Just like that, he can earn a moan from her. Everything he does turns this horny bitch on. Then, he drifted on her neck, sucking it in. Since her beautifully curled hair was getting out of the way, she grabs a conveniently placed black hair tie on the Narra wood nightstand.

When her hair was sloppily tied, Jongin began planting butterfly kisses on her collarbone. Earning a moan from the little girl. He found her sensitive spot and left a hickey on the area. “Round 2?” Jongin asked, smirking, he was turned on yet again when he saw his cum dripping all over her. It was dripping all over her little pussy, Jongin was fine with it, her pussy had sparse pubic hair over it, but nothing is different. - He saw her grow in every aspect.

“Oh my God, really…” She smirked at him as she got on the other side of the bed. She grabbed one of the white pillows, laying her head on it. Then, she lifted her ass up, laying her head on the pillow, looking into Jongin’s eyes. She wanted Jongin to fuck her doggy style this time.

Jongin was immediate to respond. He stood on his knees and got on her ass. “Baby girl, wanna film ya?” He asked her in a very seducing voice, slapping her. If (Y/N) can seduce, definitely Jongin sounds like he’s a sex God or something with his seducing abilities. He’s absolutely charming indeed. That is the reason why she fell in love with him.

She immediately responded to him, smirking, “Sure daddy”, Jongin immediately grabbed his phone from the nightstand and opened his camera app. His member was showing as well as (Y/N)’s ass, which he slapped. When the video started rolling, she was moaning loudly as he thrust his member yet again in her hole. He can never get enough of her. It gained, even more, moans from the young lady.

"Daddy… Please… I'm near." The young girl begged. He thrust harder as he started rubbing her clit with his calloused fingers. She started gripping onto the bedsheet as she arched her back. Jongin growled as he could feel her g-spot. He moved his phone on the nightstand, the camera still rolling in front of them.

Her velvety pink walls clenching at every thrust he makes. "(Y/N), you're so tight… please know that I love you!" He told her as he got his cock out of her tight hole and entered his three big fingers in her little hole. He went on her back, the said fingers snaked on her hole. He started roughly thrusting his fingers back and forth on her.

Legs spread as wide as ever, (Y/N) arched her back and gripped on the silky bedsheet. Arching her back so sexily in front of the beast that is devouring her. Her eyes rolled above with so much pleasure he is giving to her. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I think I am in heaven!" Her soft yet fragile voice said. His fingers had thrust enough and just as expected, watery substance started to leak out of her pussy. It was like an explosion."Fuck! You cum so well!" Jongin expressed.

Then, he moved out. He walked in front of her as his tongue went on her pussy to leak her cum clean. "Daddy is so good with his tongue, isn't he? Ah..." (Y/N) teasingly said with a moan as her fingers ran through his silky black hair. His hands opening her legs wide. - Showing her milky thighs. When he finished licking all of her cum clean, "You're so delicious." Jongin said as he licked his fingers in front of her.

Right after he cleaned his fingers, "Are you ready?" He suddenly asked her. "Yes." She firmly answered, panting heavily on the bed. She can feel her body shaking with all the action they did.

"Let's continue, this time, privately," Jongin said with a smirk

[karasunology]

Hi jae! Can u pls recommend some of ur fave completed smaus? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

─ KIDDO ; kuroo tetsurou by @sushij1ma

─ honestly everything @akaashichigo created, they have some of my favourite ones. especially when i had a huge ass akaashi phase HAHAHA

3 meters ; akaashi keiji

6 miles ; akaashi keiji

thin ice ; akaashi keiji

wait for me ; akaashi keiji

tagged by ; terushima yuuji.

─ i haven't binge read all their stuff yet with my old reading account but you should read all of thrm because they're all so good !!

─ also everything @agaassi !! I feel so guilty about forgeting to finish her "pretend" smau & i haven't even started on the daddy series yet, but from what i can tell; they're good at what they're doing and the plots are chefs kiss all around.

─ new phone who dis? ; daishou suguru by @kiyasuno

made me realize i need more daishou content in tumbmr & idk what to feel about that

─ EVERY SMAU @a-kaashi created, that's it, that's the post. small big villaige is fucking immaculate bye.

─ hello? ; kozume kenma by @kozukens

─ boo you, whore ; kozume kenma @sushimii

─ before we begin ; akaashi keiji by @aurumskyy

big brain energy, that is all :)

─ pose for me ; oikawa tooru by @authentictiramis

─ caramel frappucino ; sakusa kiyoomi by @skiyoosmi

everyone SHUT THE FUCK UP, this is probably one of my most favourite smau. and probably the oNLY smau i cried at HAHHAHA

─ as if! ; suna rintarou by @rintarous

EVERY ONE UP ON HERE TOO, THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVOURITE SUNA SMAU AND NOW I CANT READ OTHER SUNA SMAU IF IT ISN'T JAN WRITING IT OKAY? OKAY.

─ okay um ,, all jokes aside, i'll be a bit more serious with this one, i'm going to end this small recommendation smau post with @/caxsthetic's smaus and how you could help them especially now, with what they're going through.

ultimate wish ; ushijima

crackpot investigation ; kuroo

resolute heart ; osamu

okay but that isn't what i wanna talk about right now. they have been going through really, really tough times right now. and honestly, i don't got shit on my paypal acc because i really do wanna help them ; so if you ever do got some money to spare, or even just time to share this post, i would be forever grateful for their behalf, no one deserves to be in this kind of situation.

the link to that post is where their ko-fi is and paypal i think? and further explanations of their situation. send them some love and prayers if you have time ─ thank you, i love you <33