#and planners and reminders and focus apps and music to put myself in a no distractions cube

[girlboyburger]

hi i'm alive i'm just struggling my way to happiness & productivity

[thevirgodoll]

Tips for time management & being on time ? It’s my worst habit & has caused problems in my relationships previously.

The thing about lateness that must be understood is that if you don’t care where you’re going or care about the impression being late makes, you simply will be late lol. For me, I have to place a high value on the people I am seeing / what I’m getting ready for.

Sounds dramatic, but if I don’t care about where I’m going or who I am seeing, the motivation is not there. I value other people’s time, and my own, if that makes sense. I know that we scheduled this and that everyone is busy, including myself, so none of us have time to waste especially if it’s a weekday. I always plan to meet friends like a week in advance and I put it in my calendar.

I learned a lot in leadership conferences back in HS. On time is late, I would be told. I always try to get anywhere with time to spare because of that conditioning. Same with anything in college currently. Strict rules about being on time so I am conditioned to just be early to avoid any stress.

If I don’t know where I’m going and it’s me driving, I make sure I know the route to avoid being tardy. I always get up and make a ritual of getting ready, so I leave enough time for that. I like to take my time doing my makeup so there’s that.

By the time it’s time to leave, I have enough time to be relaxed on my drive by listening to music, encounter any traffic, and get my mind ready to be social. Nothing is out of place because I took my time the entire way through.

With time management, you can underestimate how much time you actually have. This is why you should estimate how long it takes to do each task (take a shower, do your makeup, get dressed - especially if you’re not a morning person for example). I always pick my outfit the day before if it’s somewhere important. My mom taught me that.

I have ADHD so I used to need to make even more of an effort to manage it. For me not only do I have to care about where I’m going, I have to have alarms that remind me how much time I have.

I have to schedule things out for the day or it’s wasted. I have to wake up at the same time everyday, and try to go to sleep around the same time. Some nights I don’t adhere to the schedule but I still do my routine. It comes down to your routines and discipline. If you lack rituals or routines, then you can’t estimate your time properly. Doing things the same way creates a window for you to estimate when you will be finished with each task.

Summary for Time Management:

•know where you’re going ahead of time to avoid lateness

•if you’re going to make any stops, plan that in advance

•plan your outfit in advance and your look

•estimate how long it takes to get ready and give yourself accurate time (this includes eating)

•have routines that are consistent so you get ready the same way, and eventually you won’t need to time yourself - example: eat breakfast at 9, hygiene at 9:30, shower at 10, etc

•when doing a task like studying, avoid distractions like your phone - use productivity apps that block apps on your phone or laptop like Forest or SelfControl

•have a schedule to ingrain habits for your day of doing things at a certain time, then eventually your willpower may exist without a schedule

•know yourself and limits - if you don’t want to go to meet someone, don’t go...you won’t get ready properly...learn how to say NO!!!

•plan out your weeks in advance so there’s no last minute planning that overwhelms your mind

•have your digital calendar and a physical planner so you can mark down events and things to do

•become a “morning person” by having things to look forward to when you wake up, then acknowledge your most important task for the morning after you’ve done your morning rituals

•avoid over committing your week which can cause you to forget commitments to people

•have goals regarding time management - increase your effort on your most important tasks for the day or week...80% effort, 20% action

•have breaks inbetween tasks so you don’t overwhelm yourself in the long run

•when waiting to do something, read a book or listen to a podcast or focus on something productive

•less is more...don’t try to do everything at once in your week...delegate!

[stuff-youreyes]

Tips for the “former gifted kids”, procrastinators, and/or perfectionists

I see a lot of people online, especially here, making these posts about feeling smarter, more productive, or more motivated when they were a kid, but are now depressed and unable to replicate the same energy they had back then. It’s fine to make these kinds of posts because we all feel less alone in our struggles and we can properly express our feelings, but I don’t see nearly enough posts about how to improve, so I’ll be making one. Most of this is advice from my therapist, so I promise it’s credible and actually helps. I’m 17 and I’ve had a tough time in high school because of my social anxiety, and I’m a massive procrastinator. I was definitely one of those former “smart kids” in elementary school, then started to lose steam as I became more anxious in middle school. I go to a magnet school, basically the most elitist and pretentious school in town, and it’s definitely hard to get anything done when I feel like everyone else is better than me, but I’ve found ways to improve.

Set timers. Timers are your best friend. When starting a smaller task, set a timer for about how long you think it will take you. It helps you keep track of your productivity. If it’s something you’re really dreading or something like a long-term project, set one for five minutes. If you really hate it, you only have to work on it for five minutes, but it’s likely that you’ll keep working on it once you’ve started. 

Make lists. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but I promise they are useful, especially if you’re a visual person like me. Use sticky notes, planners, notebooks, your notes app on your phone if you have one, or just loose pieces of paper to tape on your wall. Color code. Use highlighters. Keep reminders. In my school planner, I list all homework I have as of that day, and highlight anything due the next day, so that they’re first priority, and underline long term projects or things that I should work on that day. On that note, also keep your priorities together. Do your math assignment before your English assignment because you have a C in math but an A in English. Always keep up with your grades.

Take things one step at a time, and accept that half-assing something is better than doing nothing. Set small, reasonable goals for yourself, and don’t get overwhelmed. Once again, you’ll probably end up doing more than you thought you would if you just start working. If you have a 10-problem math assignment, do just two problems. Then you might as well do the third one, and the fourth one, and the fifth one, and a 50% is much better than a 0%. Half-assing will save you. If you have to write an essay at the last minute but you have no idea what you’re talking about, you can’t waste time sitting there thinking and thinking about it. You just have to write. If it’s nonsense, it’s better than nothing. I usually find that even if my essay starts out rough, I find the line of reasoning growing stronger as I continue. That’s also something to remember for anyone taking the AP Lang exam on Tuesday. Don’t waste time prewriting! Just make sure you do a lot of annotation and have your thoughts together, and then write the damn paper. 

Clean your workspace. Cleaning is a good way to procrastinate, but organization is a good way to stay productive. Take one day or one afternoon to clean out your desk/room all at once so you can’t use it as an excuse to procrastinate anymore. I promise it is very refreshing to know where your pens and papers and books are. It diminishes your sense of panic. Also, get comfortable, but not too comfortable. Don’t do homework in your bed. It’s a bad idea. You will get sleepy, and you will succumb to the fatal void of soft blankets. Make sure your workspace is well lit, maybe grab one blanket or a hoodie, get a drink, put on some jazz hop (which really does help me to stay focused and relaxed), then get to work. Go studio Ghibli on that shit. 

Know your brain, and schedule around it. How much sleep do you need? What time(s) of day are you most productive? How long is your attention span? Do what is best for you within reason. I know it sucks that going to school probably screws up your ideal schedule, but you can figure out a way to make it work. If you’re more productive in the morning, maybe wake up earlier so that you have enough time to do some extra studying before heading to class, and get extra work done while in class. Work during lunch or break. Work on the bus ride home if you have one. If you’re terrible at getting anything done during the school day like me, what I usually do is get the bare minimum done, try to get away with a nap during one class, rest when I get home for a little while, then catch up on whatever I missed and do the rest of my homework. It’s much more efficient than trying to work during school when I’m surrounded by people that make me nervous or I just can’t focus. During the summer, I try to make a daily schedule for myself from about 9 to 5 or so to stay structured and get things done. 

Stay hydrated. Just do it. Being dehydrated makes you tired. Bring water with you to school. Don’t consume too much caffeine. 

Set daily goals. 15 minutes of reading. 30 minutes of playing piano. 20 minutes of studying German. 30 minutes of writing. Make a list. Instead of getting caught up in the fear of Doing Something, give yourself the illusion of not having a choice. Pick something from the list. Doing nothing is not an option. Get the one you dread the most out of the way, or do the easiest one first and build your way up. 

Take time to relax before starting work. Go on a walk. Listen to music that will pump you up, and get out of the house to forget about all of the things piling up. I know it can feel like you’re wasting time, but starting work stressed will only make you more stressed. Try yoga. I follow along with routines mainly from Yoga with Adrienne, because it’s never too complex or straining if you’re a beginner, and there are lots of different routines for stress relief or productivity. Think about why you’re doing what you’re doing before you do it. 

Be proud of yourself. Always remember your accomplishments. Remember that you are capable. Remember the goals you want to achieve, and remind yourself that they are WORTH ACHIEVING. 

Go at your own pace. Forget what everyone else is doing, forget what society tells you that you should be doing, even though that’s easier said than done. It is your life and you will do things the best way for yourself. 

Write a list of things to look forward to, no matter how small or how far away those things are. 

You will improve. It will take effort, and it will take time, but you will get past this, and you can become that version of yourself that you want to be. 

[living-in-vivid-print]

Tips for a Productive Study Season...

To all my fellow students, we’ve made it!

I don’t know about you, but this semester has been brutal. It was full of assignments and papers, and for a while, I had roughly a midterm every week. In the midst of everything and seeming as if there just isn’t enough time to complete everything in the time given, it is easy to get discouraged and only focus on one of the many things to do.

While this semester has definitely been my hardest, I’ve managed to get some of the best grades out of my 6 semesters so far. Today, I thought I would share with you some of my tips for a productive study session that I have learned and used religiously throughout the semester. While I will share these tips with you, I am not saying that these will have the same benefit to you as myself. This post is to remind myself of everything I had done to study, so I can use it in reference for other semesters. I hope that you can apply these to your studies as well, or help you to adapt new study habits.

Create a to-do list and prioritize what’s most important

This is standard for myself to understand what I need to complete, when it’s due and how important the task is on that particular day. Typically, I just write a to-do list under each day in my planner. I will sit down at the beginning of each semester and write in all the class times, due dates, test dates, important days from the university schedule and the contact information of my professors. As the semester picks up and gets busier, each Sunday, I will sit down, review any due dates and then write a to-do list for each day of the week. As for prioritizing, usually the first point of my to-do list is the midterm or assignment that is happening in that week and then other deadlines from the following week are entered as necessary. This allows me to see what’s happening in the week and complete most of my tasks for the week.

Have a clean and organized study space

This is my main tip. If your desk or study area is messy or unorganized, it can be distracting and demotivating. I usually set aside about 5 minutes before I sit down and study to clean up my desk. I like my desk to have space as well as have easy access to my pens and sticky tabs that make studying easier.

Make flashcards of the topics you are having trouble understanding or remembering

By making flashcards of the topics that you have trouble remembering or understanding, you can focus mainly on those topics and it devotes more time to the areas that you need help with. Also, colour coordinate your topics into sections. This will help you recall the information easier and it will help you to retain your information.

Change up your study space

To be more productive in my studying, I find switching up my study space helps. Whether its just changing rooms in your house, going to your school’s library, your local coffee shop or the nearest bookstore, I highly recommend switching it up. I find that this helps me to better focus on what I’m studying. Just recently, I went from my desk to a study room in the business building and I actually completed and edited an entire research paper. While I was at home, I struggled to pick out what needed to be changed, but when I switched up my study space, I found it easier to concentrate on the paper and fix what I needed to. Maybe it was just the stress amounting while I was sat at my desk, switching it up definitely made a change to my productivity and I had the assignment finished days before it was due.

Find your study music

I find that music helps eliminate any distracting noises happening around me and helps kill the dead space around me. I discovered a few months ago that I am more productive studying with the folk/alternative rock genre in the background. I know that some work better with instrumental music, jazz music or chill music in the background. Find a study playlist that matches the tempo you work best with, don’t have a tempo that is too fast or to slow, and I wouldn’t recommend songs that are very catchy like thank u, next that will distract you from your studying. Some of my favourite study playlist:

my study playlist

brain food

jazz vibes

the piano bar

your favourite coffeehouse

Eliminate Distractions

Put all your technology on ‘Do Not Disturb’, and put your phone on the other side of the room. Trust me, it will be hard at first, but you’ll be happier by doing so. With the constant distractions of our notifications, it makes it hard to keep a good focus on what we are studying in front of us. By eliminating our distractions, it will help us to remember the information we need to know and boost our marks.

Study using the Pomodoro Technique and test yourself!

The technique uses a timer to break down work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. I use the website ‘TomatoTimer’. You can set up your study time with scheduled breaks all to your liking! Try one hour of solid, uninterrupted studying with a five minute break, and a half hour break after each second hour. This is one of those study tips that might sound a bit tedious, but the app is very straight forward and easy to use. I find this helps me to better focus, studying in intervals and then testing myself afterwards. It helps me to retain information better and understand the topics that I am having difficulty remembering

I know, I know. This post is hella long, but I hope you have learned some new techniques to include in your studying this exam season! Good luck on your exams.

-Kaitlyn

[angel-of-studying-blog]

My Study Habits; awareness of what works for me and what doesn’t.

I need to be at a desk. If I’m on the bed or couch it’s like my brain refuses to do work.

I need to have water at my side while I’m doing homework or studying. I eat when I’m stressed, procrastinating, or bored, and drinking water instead is a good way to keep that bad habit at bay.

Rewriting notes doesn’t actually help me that much.

Reading the assigned readings is so so so important for me. I need to remember that I don’t actually have to read in depth and analyze, but that sometimes simply skimming will do the trick. Skipping readings screws me over though.

Notes are good most of the time. But don’t write down stuff I don’t need. They don’t need to look pretty.

In fact, trying to make my notes pretty detracts from my mental energy reserve and makes me not want to do the things I actually need to do. Plus it puts this pressure on me like from that point on, I HAVE to have pretty notes. Like who cares if they’re pretty.

To-do lists are everything. I need them to function.

Routines are important. When I abandon them, my life spirals out of control for like a whole week and makes me behind on a bunch of stuff.

I need to clean out my backpack and folders more often. It gets heavy and hurts my back, which is bad since I already have back problems.

Don’t depend on that extra 30 minutes I have every morning to get stuff done. My friends usually distract me, so just get it done on time.

Paying attention is class is the thing that helps me most. I also need to participate, because that is almost a sure way to do well in the class.

Writing down questions I have, like in math, is a Good Thing. A really Good Thing.

I’m not a physical Planner person. Like, writing stuff down everything on paper doesn’t work for me because I can’t just change it easily like I can on Google Keep.

Don’t try to be Aesthetic. It’s draining and pointless.

Don’t force myself to maintain a blog or whatever because feeling obligated to do unnecessary things stresses me out.

Flash cards are actually really useful for me. Huh.

My schedule is pretty full on Mondays and Wednesdays. That’s why I should get started on my homework pretty soon after I get home, if not immediately.

Planning out the things I’m going to do the night before with a quick list really helps keep me on track.

I need to take advantage of all my free periods. Instead of talking to my friends, I should just shove my earbuds in and keep my mouth shut and focus on my work.

For two years, I had myself convinced I didn’t need much sleep to function. I was so wrong. Sleep makes all the difference. Not getting enough sleep for one night can screw up my entire week as I try to ply catch-up, so I need to start thinking ahead. I need to teach myself that sleep is the biggest priority. It lets me focus in school, absorb knowledge, as remember it better. Plus it keeps me out of awkward situations since I don’t have control over myself when I’m tired. And it makes me look and feel better. Just remember that feeling of exhaustion and almost dozing off during an important lesson.

Deadlines are what motivate me.

Study groups aren’t very effective for me, especially in math. I need time to sit down and think about stuff at my own pace, I don’t like being rushed and being distracted by chaos and people talking.

BUT they can be effective IF I take the lead and do the actual teaching. I can’t listen to other people, especially peers, review stuff. I need to be the one explaining, but that requires knowing the knowledge before hand. So basically, I should only count on study groups for review. I’ve found the groups effective for history. Sometimes biology (again, know the material). Math not really, but maybe if I was sure about the material.

Writing things down helps me. Sometimes I just need to sit down and visualize my ideas and put it down on paper so I can see it physically.

Maybe I should try mindmaps ^

Maybe I should also give Cornell-style notes a shot. I’ve only done outline-style so far.

Do assignments in pencil. I get sloppy and careless for some reason when I use pen and I’m dissatisfied with how it looks.

All the stuff in my backpack has to be organized in a specific way, that way my stuff stays intact and I have peace of mind. Same with the stuff in my pencil pouch.

I love sticky notes.

Coffee is a good last resort, but try not to get addicted to it or depend on it. Sleep is better anyway.

I need breakfast or else my stomach will hurt and I’ll be distracted.

Drinking water in the morning helps me stay focused and keeps headaches away.

Speaking of headaches, I tend to get them often, especially when I have less than six hours of sleep (GET SLEEP) and when I’m dehydrated. Keep Advil on hand.

I need to sit in the front. I hate the back. The middle is okay...but the front is the best. Okay, maybe second row.

If I get sleep, I focus better in school and do better on homework and tests. If I do that, I know what I’m doing. If I know what I’m going, people notice and praise me. I look smart. I LIVE for that. When I get that feedback, I do get motivated. When I’m motivated I sleep better. It’s a whole cycle and SLEEP is what makes it all happen.

Deleting all my social media apps is how I keep myself from procrastinating, and I don’t even like social media so it’s easy for me.

My main distractors are YouTube and Webtoon. I need to do something about that.

I’m more of a reward than punishment person.

If I’m currently watching a show I love, I tend to let it take over my life and then I don’t do my homework and I get behind. BUT I also can and do use shows and movies to either reward myself or look forward to as a break. What I do with 20 minutes episodes is I try to get 2 or 3 things done. With longer episodes, I bunch together more assignments on my to-do list. With movies, I try to get everything done and then I watch them.

My dog distracts me. I spontaneously cuddle with him, telling myself I’ll only play with him for 5 minutes, but then it’s 15 or 20 minutes later and I’m only then finishing up. I should practice self-control.

I can only work upstairs at the kitchen table when my whole family isn’t home. When they are, I can’t focus, so I should work downstairs instead. I get distracted downstairs too, but I’m working on it. That chair really hurts my back though. I should get a new one.

Putting a blanket around my shoulders puts me to sleep. Don’t do it while working.

Sometimes I don’t want to do work so my brain pretends to be tired and I tell myself I’ll only nap for 15/20 minutes but it always ends up being like way over an hour. Just push through it or make coffee instead.

I get sloppy and lazy in my PJs, so over the weekends I should change into something once I wake up so I don’t waste my weekend and I actually get things done.

I should try to get stuff done on Fridays mostly and some on Saturday, because when I leave everything for Sunday, I rush and do a poor job.

Making a physical schedule for my classes helps me.

Sometimes I don’t want to do homework if I can’t listen to music while I do it. Like with watching assigned videos, or reading textbooks. But I need to get over it and somehow get it through my head that I’m making it worse than it is.

On days I don’t feel motivated, I should make some sort of reward. Whether it’s taking a walk with my friend, watching something, reading something, eating something, sleeping, relaxing, etc.

Maybe I should schedule some crying-time for myself. Just to relieve stress and anxiety.

Under-wire bras are uncomfortable and distract me in class.

The main ways I learn: paying full attention

How I should study for math (after learning the hard way): practicing the problems by doing them is more important than looking over all the notes. Do the practice packets and focus on the problems she says to focus on. BUT Indo still need to look at the notes beforehand, or else I’ll act crazy and feel like I’m not doing it right and start going insane. So I need to really have some self control for about a week before finals and split up the notes I need to review. Because looking over the notes let’s me see everything we learned and reminds me about stuff I forgot.

I’m a visual learner. Then a kinesthegic learner. I’m definitely not an aural learner, but I can maybe work on that?

The main ways I learn: paying full attention in class, participating, doing the homework, asking questions. A bit of studying for tests included.

I have to actively pay attention and really try to absorb stuff and process it at the same time as I’m paying attention. Especially for math and the sciences. Not really for history, and definitely not for English.

When I get home, reviewing my math notes from that day’s lesson just really quickly before I do the assignment helps me learn it and understand it and remember it.

I once tried to briefly review a week’s math notes every day before doing an assignment in order to do better on the math test and I think I did better.

Listening to music while I do math doesn’t distract me 99.9999% of the time.

But it does with reading things like textbooks.

Listening to music while reading textbooks because I don’t want to stop listening to music is way less effective than hardcore skimming through a textbook without music because I wanna get back to music. When I listen to music while reading, I take nothing in, it drags out longer, and I get distracted. When I don’t listen to music, sure I’m bored a bit, but I take everything in, I don’t get nearly as distracted, and I finish quicker. I should try to not just skim though (but if I can’t help it, then yeah, even just skimming is better).

Highlighting doesn’t always help me. In fact, it rarely does since I only use it for the aesthetic. I should try utilizing it better.

I’m good at English and can write essays easily, so that’s let me get lazy and not look to improve my writing. I feel like because of this, it’s been stagnant. I should challenge myself.

When I have had teachers, I should try to not use that as an excuse to do poorly and instead put more effort in.

Talking during class is disrespectful and doesn’t help me. I don’t usually do it, but I do when I’m tired or in a class I don’t like.

Audionyms are so useful to me, but ONLY when they have the accompanying images.

Do the damn extra credit, dumbass.

Don’t waste my free periods.

If I know I have a lot of homework, but I have plans, I should do some homework beforehand.

I didn’t realize how valuable and useful practice tests and questions are, but they really are and I should start taking advantage of them when I have them.

Don’t waste time making quizlets if you can find ones that already exist.

Physical flash cards are more effective for me. They require me to go through them less than digital ones. I’ve proved this to myself. But if I want some quick review I can use quizlet.

Study guides are great.

Getting homework done in classes like English is great because then I don’t have to worry about those stupid little assignments and can focus on more important things.

I don’t really like doing my math homework around other people because I like silence and peace so I can really focus on it and take my time with it.

Sometimes I use that ^ as an excuse to not do anything, when really I should just do different homework.

I have all these little processes and routines that I find therapeutic and a good way to get myself in the zone for homework: setting up the lines on my graph paper for my math homework, cutting my flash cards, making a to do list, getting all my stuff out in a particular order and the same with putting it away.

I also use a lot of alarms.

Taking notes during classes like math and science saves my life.

Drawing stuff for math and science in my notes helps.

Don’t waste time rewriting nooootes.

Notes for History are useful, but not always necessary. Math notes are unquestionably necessary, same for the sciences (like Biology). English notes are whatever, and I only write them because they’re required.

I memorize physical notes easier, but if a teacher talks fast, computers might be more useful. Maybe I can rewrite it physically at home. That would probably be the only time that rewriting notes is good for me. And I can do stuff like drawing diagrams on the side if I do computer notes and then combine the two.

Usually I don’t like checking my answers on tests because I’ll change it and get it wrong when I could have gotten it right, but math is the exception.

Most days I have a few hours at home before my sister gets home, and that’s the best time to get homework done because it’s quieter.

Before high school, I didn’t have to study. It was a rough transition, and it took me two entire years to realize that I had to get off my ass and actually put effort into school. This semester I figured out a lot of things about how my brain works, how I learn, what I need, and how to utilize all of these things. I put in a lot of effort, and looking back, I think I mostly did my best. I feel satisfied with it.

I do better when I have a lot on my plate because I know I can’t mess around, whereas I get lazy and form very destructive habits when I only have a few things to do. I need multiple hard classes at a time instead of just one. I need at least two that require a lot of effort/time or are difficult, at least one fun or easy class, and about two classes that are somewhere in the middle.

I’m an extremely competitive person. This is also what motivates me.

Surrounding myself with smart and hardworking friends pushes me to be the same (but also to be smarter and harder working than them, shhh)

I’m a natural leader, so when I’m in group projects I always end up being the one taking charge and delegating tasks/reminding people.

Also I’m not a fan of group projects if I can’t choose who I work with.

I like making some sort of visual for upcoming events because it makes me less stressed to know exactly when an event is coming up and how it’s oriented around other events.

I’m really good at memorizing things, but usually for short-term things. That’s useful for unit/module tests, but not for things like finals. Luckily, I don’t have to relearn the material, I just have to review it. Maybe to prevent having to cram, I should do more frequent reviews in shorter bursts over the semester.

I need to fully understand things like math and science to feel comfortable. I can kind of shrug off history and English if I’m not solid on a topic.

I developed a growth mindset at the beginning of this year because I was sick of my old school habits.

I’m an optimist/realist.

I’m not superstitious buuuuut, if I get cocky about a test, I usually end up disappointing myself. It’s best to just go in neutral because that way I’m not stressed or anxious or excited, I’m just sitting down and my brain is functioning normally at the best of its ability.

I’ve come to learn that time speeds up the month of finals week.

I find it really useful when a teacher demonstrates the lesson or does the problems with us.

[airanddust]

A day in isolation

Day I don’t even know. It’s March 27. I should be packed and ready for a trip to Japan, but that was cancelled a month ago. We should have been there to see the cherry blossoms and stay in a cramped Osaka hotel room. Now, as the meme says, we will be going to “Los Kitchenos.”

My mornings start with a sense of reluctance. Sailor nudges my leg two minutes before my 7 am alarm. I used to wake up at 6, which, since the time change, is now 7, but I haven’t been to the office since then so I’ve been waking up at this time for…three weeks. Since March 5.

I feed the dogs, stumble in the wan light to pull open the blinds, flip on my Happy Light, and unfurl my thick purple yoga mat. I don’t bother with the toning yoga videos anymore. It’s all stretches and relaxation practices. I choose fifteen or twenty minutes, or thirty if I didn’t hit snooze and feel luxurious. I tilt my spine side to side in tabletop position, hands and feet against the ribbed mat. A catch releases somewhere in my back.

The first downward dog is always a balm for my calves. My right leg is a block of concrete, stiff and unmoving after an uncomfortable night. I often wake to find myself jammed against one shoulder, or with a hand tingling, or my hip screaming so loudly it pulls me from a dream.

I work through the flow and inevitably need a tissue when my body spurts up some gunk that went dormant overnight. Clarity returns to my sinuses. I feel a little less hatred for the day ahead. It almost feels like a normal day.

Since stocking up for the vacation-apocalypse, I now have a myriad of breakfast choices as compared to my typical instant oatmeal packet or protein shake. I could have protein waffles, banana bread, strawberries, string cheese, or cinnamon raisin bread that Robert made, wide and puffy. 

I read the Bible while I eat. I used to read it on my YouVersion app, but that was creating a too-addictive don’t-break-the-chain habit (I got to 100 days this year), and the reading didn’t go deep. I switched to the mid-Psalms in my fifteen-year-old NASB college Bible and starting journaling my SOAP —  another unfortunate acronym, but a helpful one I gleaned from our church’s online messages. Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer. It helps me identify what most speaks to me in a passage and consider it more closely. Today it’s Psalm 41.

I have fifteen minutes to write, perched on the edge of my dilapidated former office chair, which has lost two silver wheels and now sits disabled next to my desk. I realized I need a separate space, even if it’s just a seat two feet from my office chair, in which to write and thus separate myself from work.

I check newsletters in my email. The Denison Forum, the New York Times briefing, the Hustle, Briefingday, and, on Fridays, Girls’ Night In. I take a quick scroll through Instagram. Sometimes I watch a few stories from my favorite fashion bloggers. Then I lift the lid of my work MacBook Pro.

It’s time to work, but the thought of eight hours ahead of me is nearly paralyzing. I usually open Trello, where I’ve divided my tasks into To Do, Doing, and Done, but today I try Marie Forleo’s handwritten method of finishing the sentence “The one thing I will accomplish today is…” Today, it is sketching and mocking up a grid view for car sensors.

Then the Slack messages come in. I removed Slack from my phone at the advice of a coworker — “only I can give myself anxiety; Slack doesn’t have that privilege” — but the desktop app still manages to contribute to the low-grade anxiety that I will miss a critical conversation. I disabled the red badge of death. I turned on Do Not Disturb. Yet I still compulsively open Slack every ten minutes. Working remotely seems to make me eager to prove I’m around, available, not goofing off, and I don’t get into that deep zone of focus I need. But I try. I turn on an instrumental playlist from Spotify — it only recommends classical and movie scores for me now — and clump my old, cheap Amazon headphones over my ears.

My cat Nala weaves in between my keyboard and monitor. She flips onto her back and splays her legs out, falls asleep, and spreads ever so subtly until her back leg shoves my keyboard to the far edge of the desk, where I am now forced to sit diagonal to my computer. If I shut her out of the office, she scratches the door and makes pleading guttural noises, but in the office, she seems to know when I have a Zoom meeting and pretends to run an agility course. More than twice I’ve had to introduce her to coworkers when she hops between me and the webcam, leaving a dark tail in her wake.

We had catered lunch daily at the office. Now we fend for ourselves. This week I wrote down a semi-meal plan, and today I pull two red-topped plastic containers from the fridge to mix Thai ground beef with leftover Kraft Mac and cheese. I microwave it until it’s a strangely humid combination of cuisines.

I read the latest edition of Real Simple while I eat. The magazine came bagged in a plastic sheath, which I peeled off and threw away before washing my hands. I know the content was created months ago before this virus existed, and yet it’s still odd to read something so remarkably free of Covid-19. There is, however, a spring cleaning feature that explains the difference between sanitizing and disinfecting. That reminds me we only have a handful of Clorox wipes left. When we run out I’ve thought of dipping paper towels into the leftover solution at the bottom of the canister. I haven’t been super diligent about wiping down surfaces, but then again, we don’t go out much. I haven’t been outside in two days.

I return to my desk and mindlessly nibble on a Seattle Chocolate Double Distilled Mint bar. I eventually return to the kitchen to make DIY milk tea — cold Lipton with a splash of milk, mixed in my reusable boba tea tumbler. I didn’t think I could tolerate caffeine, but the iced tea has just enough to propel me through the rest of the workday. I don’t have tapioca to add but that’s okay. There are apparently sixty-eight carbs per serving of boba. I’m already eating too much. We stocked up on rice cakes, bananas, peanut butter, oatmeal, canned soup, dried pineapple, Pop-Tarts, and granola. Five-year-old me is constantly aware of this and always planning my next trip to the kitchen.

At three I join a few coworkers for what we call Zoom-ba, our virtual dance session, where I share a pre-made YouTube playlist and we dance in tiny thumbnail windows with each other. Our favorite instructor is a guy named Mao who wears bright colors and dances on a pier somewhere over tropical waters. It helps us feel less like we’re trapped in our small, dark homes.

After an hour more of work, I join another Zoom call to work out with friends who exercise with me almost daily now. Today we do legs. Last time we did abs, which, for some reason, left Laura with sore arms and me with achy glutes. We’re still figuring out how to do this. We place our laptops on chairs and the floor and follow an impossibly fit woman on YouTube.

Sweaty and tired, I tell my friends goodbye and pull up Instagram to watch the nightly fireside chat from my favorite finance author. It’s comforting to have this small slice of a predictable schedule: to know that every night, he’ll appear on my screen at 5:30. After this I don’t know what I’ll do. Maybe eat, or walk the dogs.

Robert makes mashed potatoes in the Instant Pot, and a thick, starchy scent wafts through the house. The Instagram Live ends and I join him for small plates of mashed potatoes with canned green beans. It feels sort of like a survival meal. We forgot to defrost any meat. I know I’ll be hungry later.

It’s raining so we don’t walk the dogs. Instead, we finish watching the first season of Altered Carbon, which I wasn’t sure I’d even want to finish watching. I don’t like how the story is ending. I also realize that with each show I watch, I’m wondering why the actors stand so close to each other. It hasn’t even been six months since all of this started. Will I think this way about every show from now on?

After the show ends Robert goes to his home office and I go to mine, where I open Skillshare for the next new routine I’ve established: learning Spanish. A coworker mentioned it could be a good way to pass the time, and since we have several Spanish-speaking friends and I love Zumba music, I’d like to learn it. I sit in front of my laptop and repeat words to the screen.

Some nights I make a tiny zine out of a sheet of printer paper. I think I’m putting too much on my plate. My creativity feels dried up, restless, and I end up on Twitter or some other internet rabbit hole. I don’t want to look back and see that every decision I made during this time was reactionary, but some days I don’t feel like I can muster much more than that.

Before brushing my teeth and washing my face, I go through my planner, make sure I did everything I wanted to do today. I realize how crude that sounds when, as some articles tell me, I shouldn’t be focused on output during a time of global crisis. But I feel listless without these goals. I need something to put me in motion, even if only for distraction.

Now I’m in bed. I have a stack of library books procured hours before the library shut down, but I don’t always read them. I keep one on my nightstand just in case. I’ll probably watch Robert play Animal Crossing on the Switch until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. The music and repetitive actions are calming. Boring. Kind of like life used to be.

I fall asleep.