#Fiera di me

[persa-tra-i-miei-pensieri]

Stasera serata allenamento bowling semplicemente WOW!

Per un totale su 6 partite di 1162 punti (-120 handicap) quindi 1042 di puro impegno e fatica ed una media di ben 173,6

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

[eseildomanifosseieri]

Posso dirlo? Va bene, lo dico.

Ho deciso di iscrivermi ad una specialistica all'università, ho scelto il corso poi farò il pagamento e spero di iniziare entro prossima settimana. Posso dirlo che sono felice di tornare a studiare? Di tornare ad ascoltare lezioni, avere compagni di studio, tornare a fare tirocinio e tutto il resto! So che sarà difficile con il lavoro, che sarà ancor più sacrificate dovendo viaggiare, ma sono così emozionata 😍😍.

Raggidiquotidianità.

-Eseildomanifosseieri.

[lusyscilly]

Okay, dopo una nottata di sonno, agitato purtroppo, sono leggermente più tranquilla e lucida rispetto a ieri sera. E ringrazio chiunque abbia la pazienza di leggersi tutta questa mia sclerata, ma era una cosa che dovevo tirarmi fuori il prima possibile.

Partiamo con il dire che non ce l'ho con nessuno degli attori, stanno facendo il loro lavoro e avevano un copione da rispettare, quindi al massimo si possono incolpare le scelte registiche e di sceneggiatura.

Dopo questa premessa, voglio concentrarmi sul fatto che i recenti episodi sono stati una genuina presa in giro verso l'audience, di tutte le età, ma in particolare di coloro che fanno parte della comunità lgbtq+, bisessuali in primis. L'intelligenza dello spettatore è stata insultata più volte, con l'effetto di creare rabbia e confusione, perché come abbiamo constatato più volte in queste settimane, gli scrittori della serie non sanno trattare delle tematiche che vadano oltre la "Famiglia Tradizionale".

L'episodio 11 ne è un chiaro esempio, con la famigliola improvvisata tra Manuel e Nina, che, giusto per sottolineare la follia a cui abbiamo assistito, hanno rapito la figlia della suddetta e avevano intenzione di scappare in un altro Paese. Manuel è stato ridotto a uno zerbino, senza una personalità che vada oltre il voler essere uno pseudo-padre per Lilli, mentre Nina doveva essere il personaggio tsundere con cui creare una sorta di enemies-to-lovers, ma quello che è risultato essere è un personaggio piatto, senza un minimo di personalità al di fuori di Manuel e della figlia.

Questi poi sono andati da Simone a chiedere aiuto, mentre il docente andava a chiedere ai genitori affidatari di non denunciare, quando questi ne avrebbero tutto il diritto. E non mi si venga a dire che Nina ha diritto a sua figlia, non dopo quello che ha fatto. è vero, era stata tratta in inganno quando era andata a quel rave, e lì mi è dispiaciuto, perché ha perso tutto ma non per sua volontà, qui invece ha preso una decisione conscia e l'ha effettuata senza pensarci due volte, con la complicità di Zerbino.

Intanto Mimmo sta effettivamente andando in una situazione pericolosa, consapevole di farlo, ma vuole avere un futuro fuori dal carcere, ed è una cosa che ammiro. Giustamente, uno qualsiasi si cagherebbe a farlo, ma lui ha deciso di cambiare anche perché Simone gli ha fatto capire di essere di più di un carcerato, un condannato alla criminalità, ma una persona, con dei desideri e dei sogni. Inoltre, qui hanno avuto la decenza di caratterizzarlo fuori da Simone, infatti hanno entrambi la loro personalità e il loro carattere, non come Zerbino e Criminale.

Una cosa poi che mi ha veramente infastidito è come hanno trattato Nicola quando ha denunciato figlio e combriccola al seguito. Lo hanno dipinto come se fosse lui nel torto, quando in realtà ha cercato di salvare il culo a tutti, mentre Dante voleva fare tutto sottobanco, come suo solito dopotutto. Mi ha dato fastidio inoltre come per un rapimento di minore non ci sia stata nessuna denuncia o incarceramento, ma anzi, Nina ha ottenuto un lavoro nell'azienda di Nicola e Manuel e Anita possono vivere in una villa donata dall'uomo, così che possano stare con Viola. La battuta poi del 135 di qi è dà buttare. Il quoziente intellettivo non è una misura attendibile di intelligenza, ma misura la capacità di comprendere le situazioni in cui ci troviamo e la capacità di acquisire delle informazioni. Nina palesemente non è così, agisce in modo sconsiderato e illogico (una persona può essere emotiva e logica allo stesso tempo, questo è da sottolineare).

Terminiamo con la questione Simuel vs Mimmone. Io sono per i Mimmone, questa stagione lì ha sviluppati molto di più rispetto ai Simuel, che non si sono parlati mezza volta, e sono molto generosa su questo fatto. Mimmo e Simone sono stati l'ancora l'uno per l'altro e spero vivamente che Mimmo ritorni per la terza stagione. Hanno molta più chimica e si vede che tengono all'altro.

Per ricollegarmi alla questione dell'intelligenza insultata degli spettatori, voglio riprendere questa parte di un'intervista rilasciata:

Io non so se gli sceneggiatori o il regista o chi lavori in questa serie dal punto di vista tecnico conoscano bene l'italiano. Per fare il lavoro che fanno, dovrebbero saper conoscere la differenza tra le parole "Basato" e "Ispirato".

Questa serie è basata su Merlì, una serie spagnola che mi tratta di un personaggio gay e uno bisessuale, resi rispettivamente in Simone e Manuel in questa. E questo nella prima stagione c'è! Effettivamente mantiene le basi della serie originale. La seconda stagione ha preso una virata completamente diversa, e ci può stare eh, ma alla fine il personaggio di Manuel ne esce completamente diverso. Le scene di gelosia delle prime due puntate sono stata completamente rimosse dalla mente dei personaggi, non abbiamo più quello che doveva essere teoricamente un triangolo/quadrato amoroso.

La bisessualità di Manuel è stata totalmente cancellata, perché nella visione italiana del mondo, le persone possono essere solo Gay o Etero, nient'altro (tanto che non si usa mai questa parola, ma sempre eufemismi, come "né da carne, né da pesce", "è creativo"). E questo è un grave insulto a chi sperava di avere un qualche tipo di rappresentazione che fosse una. Okay, c'è Mimmo, questo è vero, ma il focus principale era Manuel e la sua esplorazione mentre capiva che gli piacciono anche gli uomini. FINE. Non dovevano esserci così tante sottotrame. E prima che mi si venga a dire che anche Pol in Merlì si faceva principalmente solo donne durante la serie, posso ribattere che dato che hanno cambiato già diversi aspetti di Manuel, un focus in più su questo suo aspetto ci poteva stare. Dopotutto, "basato" vuol dire questo, la base c'è ma ti puoi permettere di fare dei cambiamenti, purché non vadano a snaturare i personaggi.

Infine, buttiamola un po' sul ridere, ma c'è solo da piangere. La r4i è riuscita a censurare di brutto un'altra coppia omo, mentre quelle etero hanno tutte il loro "lieto fine", in qualche modo, anche se sono una più tossica dell'altra. Anita e Dante si sono fatti le corna a vicenda, e peggio ancora Dante non rispetta in alcun modo le donne che sono nella sua vita, Anita e Nicola sono diventati dei co-parents, ma Nicola sta sotto per lei, Zerbino e Criminale dovevano finire in carcere, ma invece si sono beccati una pacca sulle mani e Floriana e Dante sono inguardabili sotto ogni punto di vista. Viola e Ryan si salvano perché loro effettivamente sono stati sviluppati, anche al di fuori della loro romance, e sono molto carini. Luna a rischio stupro per un ragazzo che non aveva mai visto in faccia, mentre Matteo e Laura si sono messi insieme grazie all'intervento di Humbert Humbert.

Voglio chiedere a chi ha scritto questa roba se sia effettivamente soddisfatto di ciò. A parte i Raviola, sono uno peggio dell'altro, senza un minimo di senso o chimica. è questo quello a cui dovremmo aspirare? Seriamente? Sarà che sono cresciuta con Percy Jackson nella mia vita, ma le mie aspettative sono molto più alte (tipo rinunciare all'immortalità anche se non sono ancora insieme all'altra persona). Persino il queerbating di Supernatural iniziava con la frase cardine della coppia: "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition", ed è molto, ma molto più romantico di questo. Mimmo e Simone si sono lasciati per niente e gli unici tristi sono proprio loro, mentre gli altri sono in delle situazioni che definire di merda è poco.

[apettaa]

E per celebrare la fine di questa giornata di colloqui e di corse su e giù in paesi che nemmeno conoscevo, un bel gin tonic

[garland-on-thy-brow]

I've chanced upon a blog with translations of some rather obscure 18th operas into Japanese, and I think it is a wonderful project.

I do not read Japanese but what I was able to appreciate is that the translator, for example in this scene [link] from La fiera di Venezia, supplies the lines with "user icons" of how they imagine the characters.

They even have different facial expressions for different lines. I just think it is neat! Belfusto is especially spot on.

[dolce-tenebra-toscana]

Happy late halloween lovelies 💜💚💜

Hope you all stayed safe and got all the sweet treats you wanted ✌️

First time posting myself here lol, is kinda weird...

But i love the goth vibe i chose for the night, enjoying some body euphoria as well 🥳

Love you all 💜💜💜

[stephpanda]

Primo tentativo di piadina homemade

Combattetemi!

[io-pentesilea]

(Ricordati di me

Questa sera che non hai da fare...

Anche se la città non è allagata da un temporale...

Ricordati di me.

Di tutte le volte che ho cucinato per te i tuoi piatti preferiti, i dolci che volevi provare. Per i pensieri sempre gentili come la scelta del vino o della frutta che tanto ti piaceva, magari un gelato o una cioccolata particolare da accompagnare al tuo beneamato caffè - Nespresso, what else?

Ricordati di me, di tutte le volte che sono rimasta a casa trascurando il lavoro o sono scappata dall'ufficio con scuse ai confini della realtà solo per stare con te, perché tu mi volevi.

Ricordati di me, delle volte che sono corsa da te per riportarti a casa, come quando tornasti da quel viaggio di lavoro, stanco, e avresti dovuto aspettare il treno.

Ricordati di me, di tutte le volte che ti ho raggiunto in un qualche posto per me sconosciuto, la sera, con i miei problemi di guida notturna, perché tu volevi 'parlare un po' in macchina' e fare sesso in un parcheggio buio o in una strada deserta.

Ricordati di me, di come ti ho sempre supportato, 'tifando' per te, perché avessi ciò che desideravi.

Ricordati di me, che ti sono stata accanto nei momenti delicati, come quando il funzionarietto nel tuo vecchio ufficio ti aveva preso di mira e il tuo dirigente anziché difenderti se ne lavava le mani. Eri fuori di te e io ti sono stata vicina in silenzio quando era il silenzio che volevi. O come quando il trasferimento non arrivava ed eri costretto a subire le scorrettezze dei tuoi superiori, che facevano di tutto per metterti i bastoni tra le ruote. Mi chiamavi anche due o tre volte al giorno per sfogarti e io ti ascoltavo, rincuoravo, tranquillizzavo, calmavo...

Ricordati di me, che ho condiviso i tuoi giochi e ti ho fatto vivere le tue fantasie.

Ricordati di me, che ho sempre tenuto fede al 'patto' che avevamo stretto.

Ricordati di me, consapevole del mio ruolo e della impossibilità di un futuro, dei limiti che la nostra relazione aveva.

Ricordati di me, che mi accontentavo di un pranzo in una umile trattoria perché era importante con chi stavo e non dove stavo.

Ricordati di me, che non ho mai chiesto né preteso nulla, se non quello che potevi darmi.

Ricordati di me, che non ti ho mai fatto pesare i problemi che mi assillavano ma ho sempre fatto miei anche i tuoi.

Ricordati di me, che non mi sono mai lamentata per tutti i programmi andati all'aria, o gli impegni disdetti all'ultimo minuto.

Ricordati di me, mai stanca per te anche quando ero stanca. Sempre pronta a prendermi cura di te.

Ricordati di me. Della donna innamorata che ti ha regalato anni della sua vita, chiedendoti in cambio solo rispetto e sincerità.

Che tu mi hai negato, con una fine tanto stupida.

Tu, comunque, ricordati di me.

Perché come me nessuna mai.

Barbara)

[persa-tra-i-miei-pensieri]

Da rileggere ogni volta che mi ritroverò a pensare di essere un fallimento...

[gotaholeinmysoull]

a me dispiace dirlo ma sono invidiosa di mio fratello

premetto che sono stra felice di lui e delle opportunità che sta avendo

lui ha fatto 18 anni da poco, tra scuola e progetti nati quest’anno è riuscito ad andare in erasmus pagando un cazzo e a fare tipo uno stage retribuito di un mese e mezzo

per non parlare del fatto che grazie ai miei e i vari parenti ora si ritrova con un bel po’ di risparmi

a me invece i miei non hanno lasciato praticamente un cazzo, e quando ho fatto 18 anni era pieno covid quindi non ho potuto fare nulla di quello che avrei voluto, tantomeno trovarmi un lavoretto che un mese sì e l’altro pure ero in zona rossa, e comunque ero anche in 4ª/5ª superiore quindi più di tanto non è che avrei potuto fare in ogni caso

e manco c’erano i progetti e cose che ci sono ora, perché io non sono mai stata fortunata in niente ovviamente. quindi i pochi risparmi che ho racimolato durante la mia triste vita li ho dovuti usare per Torino, perché i miei non mi danno abbastanza soldi per poter vivere decentemente

per non parlare del fatto che non sono mai stata supportata in nessun modo né da genitore uno né da genitore due, mentre lui sì in un certo senso

[omarfor-orchestra]

Yesterday i heard someone mention mare fuori negli spogliatoi in palestra and i saw my life flash before my eyes

Una ragazza è andata a comprare dei prodotti di una marca dalla mia parrucchiera perché l'ha vista nei titoli di coda di MareFuori. Do you have any idea how I'm feeling right now

[thedarkestgreys]

Euphoria is full of sex scenes. But how would you like a s3 fexi sex scene to be shot?

this might be surprising to some - but i want a lot more romance for them before we get a sex scene. honestly i’m okay if we don’t get a sex scene at all, mostly because we don’t know where the starting point of the season is yet. so many unanswered questions pertaining to season three at this point and i feel like there’s so many routes they could go with fexi depending on what type of story is being told.

are we getting a time jump and if we do has fezco been incarcerated during that time? has he worked through his trauma of loosing ash (and presumably marie?) and what type of life is he living? where’s lexi at mentally and emotionally? have they maintained their connection or has he pushed her away?

if we don’t get more than them working their shit out, getting together and having a swoon worthy first kiss, i’ll be ecstatic. if we do get a sex scene i want soft and gentle and romantic for them, something non-graphic, something where they both seem to be enjoying themselves.

[yaddam333]

Incredible news! Average polentona managed to get Sightly tanned (and not completely sunburnt!!!!) After 5 days of sunbathing!!!!! Experts can't explain how this creature doesn't look deadly pale anymore!?!?!?!

[8gladysworld8]

Simple Things That Make Me Happy During My Day Off | Roaming Around in F...

[dhufflebee]

vabbè :(

[ricolaviecher]

Blurt it out

This is a Tim Bradford x reader fanfiction I had an idea for and just had to write it down. English is not my first language so there could be a few mistakes.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedback, I am open for it. <3

Summary: It takes place in 4x1. That's the summary.

The next fanfic I will post will be a Chenford one and I am currently working on other stuff.

If anyone has requests or ideas what I could write just send it in bc I ran out of ideas.

She stared at the display, unable to look away. She didn’t really want to see what was happening, but she couldn’t just look away, and risk to oversee any detail that could help them. As a cop, she was trained to pay attention.

Next to her stood all the other people. Sergeant Grey, John Nolan, Lucy Chen, Tim Bradford, and of course Nyla Harper. She could see Lucy wiping a tear from her cheek, as well as Nyla. But she… she didn’t feel anything. There was not a single emotion in her.

(Y/N) winced, as she saw a shot being fired on the screen. Fuck. The last glimmer of hope was now gone. Sergeant Grey turned the video back.

“There. He flinched. As if Jackson scratched him or something like that”, he said.

“He knew he wouldn’t have a chance and wanted to give us something to work with. There would be DNA under is fingernails.” Lucy’s voice broke.

“I’ll tell the forensics so they can take a look at it. In the meanwhile, I want you all to go home and take some rest. I’ll let you call when we have some new information.” The Sergeant’s voice wasn’t as authoritarian than usually.

“I want to help. I can’t just sit here and do nothing! It was our colleague who got killed! Our friend! And Angela was kidnapped! We need to find out where La Fiera is!” Lucy felt more than (Y/N). You could hear it because of her breaking voice.

“It was an order, Officer Chen. Go home. Like I said, I’ll have you called in if there is any more information that there is now.”

“With all due respect Sir, but that’s my fiancée and I won’t go home until I know where she is and if the baby is healthy. I won’t go home until my pregnant wife-to-be is home with me again.” (Y/N) had completely forgotten that Wesley was here too. It was just logical; his fiancée was missing and he wouldn’t let them do their job without keeping him updated.

(Y/N) felt tears roll over her cheeks. She had just seen one of her best friends being killed. It didn’t feel real. Like she was only watching a movie and didn’t have any relation to the characters. Why couldn’t she feel more? She wanted to be mad, she wanted to be able to scream, to openly cry, but all she could was feel the silent tears rolling down her face.

She could feel a hand on her shoulder. Tim.

“You should go home. This case isn’t on us. At least not in the moment. Get some rest.”

Tim looked at her with worried eyes. Not really surprising. It was in the middle of the night. Her best friend just died – no, got killed - and she stood in the middle of the police department, crying because she didn’t know what to do. How she could get up in the next days.

“Come on.” She let Tim lead her out the office.

“I… I can’t go home. What if something happens? I… I’ll just stay here. This is the safest place right now.”

Tim looked at her… concerned. He often dealt with this kind of emergency, but Tim had never before dealt with this with his friends. Of course, he has already lost partners in the job but not like this.

“You can come with me. It would also be easier if they call us in to help them with something. Your apartment has a longer way to the department.” (Y/N) stared at him with wide eyes.

“Really? I… I don’t want to impose and you don’t feel too well either I think… your… your best friend just got kidnapped.” She really didn’t want to be an inconvenience. And what would be the looks she would get if anyone found out she stayed at her boss’ house for over the night even though they won’t do anything else that sleeping. In separate rooms.

“You won’t. Are you hungry? We didn’t really eat as the wedding didn’t take place so…?”

“I am hungry but I honestly don’t know if I can keep anything down now.” (Y/N) tried to dry her face from the tears, that finally stopped flowing.

“We can get some take-out and we try to eat and if not, we have the left-overs for tomorrow. Sounds like a plan?” (Y/N) nodded.

“Yes, that’s great. Thank you.” They slowly went to Tim’s car. The blisters the high heels gave her feet were long forgotten. They were her smallest problem right now. Somehow the physical pain even made her feel better.

They only stopped once to get the food. Quickly they decided to take Pizza, something they loved, and could easily be eaten the next day if there were some leftovers.

Tim’s house was… (Y/N) didn’t know what to say. It… fit him. Modern, but not much decoration. She took place at the table, the dress she wore was a bit disturbing.

Shit… She forgot that she doesn’t have any other clothes with her. She only had her dress, and she didn’t really want to sleep in it. It reminded her of all the things that happened today.   

“Ehm… Tim?” He stopped on his way to get 2 plates for the pizza.

“Yes? Is everything ok?” She nodded and then shook her head.

“I don’t have any clothes with me. Do you think we could get some clothes from my place?”

Tim looked at her as if she was crazy. She could somehow understand it. Her house wasn’t exactly next door. They would have to drive at least 30 minutes.  

“You know that it is a long way? Would you be ok if I gave you a shirt of mine and I still have joggers from Angela when she had an argument with Wesley and came here? I know it would be much too big but if you just slept here, I think it would work?” He looked at her with a questioning look and she nodded.

Why not? For now, it seemed like the best solution. Would it be unprofessional? Yes. Would everyone judge her if they saw her? Definitely. But right now, she had bigger problems. Jackson died. Angela got kidnapped. She kind of lost two of her best friends today.

Tim went to, which (Y/N) assumed, was his bedroom. Only a minute later he came back, a bundle of clothes in his arms.

“Here. You can go change in the bathroom. The first door on the left side.” He pointed in the direction he just came from.

“Thank you. Really.” Tim smiled. It was an exhausted but not a forced one.

“No problem at all.”

(Y/N) went to the bathroom. It was definitely more modern than her own. The shower! Wow. She would give everything just to have a hot shower.

“Tim? Could I take a short shower?” Her voice sounded weak. She didn’t have the energy to shout through the whole apartment, she just had to hope that Tim would have heard her.

“Yes. I’ll make the pizza into the oven so it doesn’t get cold, ok?”

“Thanks.”

(Y/N) didn’t remember when the last time was, that she had a proper shower, without having to stress herself because she needed to go to work. Still, she couldn’t enjoy the hot water, that was running over her body.

Suddenly, she was overwhelmed by emotions. The tears began to slow freely. She wasn’t crying as silently as she did before. Now she could only hope that Tim couldn’t hear her. She sank to the floor; the cold tiles on her back welt like ice cubes in contrast to the hot water.

She buried her face in her hands. Her brain finally realized it. Her friend was dead. Angela got kidnapped. They didn’t know what La Fiera was going to do to her. To her unborn baby. Did Angela already know that Jackson got killed?

A gentle knock was on the door.

“Are you ok, (Y/N)?” She tried to wipe away the tears. Stupid; she was in a shower.

“Yes. I’m ok.” She wasn’t and she knew that Tim could hear it. It was embarrassing. Her boss heard her cry. They weren’t even real friends. She tells him much about her life when they were on shift, but he was always a bit… reserved. They were acquaintances but nothing more.

(Y/N) was glad that Tim didn’t pry any further and she continued to sob freely. She heard how the door opened. Tim didn’t just come into the bathroom, did he? Luckily, the steam already covered the glass of the shower so he couldn’t properly see her.

He opened the door to the shower and switched off the shower. He handed her a bathrobe, which she slipped into. It was made out of very soft material. He gently pulled her out of the shower… and hugged her. A real hug. Not a hug like the ones you give when saying hello or goodbye… no… he held her.

(Y/N) didn’t know when it was the last time, she was hugged like that. She cried freely into Tim’s shirt. Right now, she wasn’t embarrassed by it. She didn’t even care about it a little bit. She was just thankful to be held.

After a few minutes, Tim led her to the living room, where he sat her on the couch, giving her a warm blanket he covered her with. Then he just sat down next to her, and continued to hold her. He didn’t say anything; didn’t ask questions. And it was exactly what (Y/N) needed at the moment.

When she finally started to calm down a bit, she wiped away her tears with her hands.

“Thank you, Tim.” Her voice trembled and sounded hoarse. If she still had her Make-up on, her face would have been black from the mascara by now.

“Nothing to thank me. It’s what a friend does.” Tim smiled weakly at her. Friends. He called them friends. She probably wouldn’t say that, but in the moment, she was thankful for it as it made the situation a bit less weird.

“I should probably get changed.” (Y/N) suddenly became aware that she wasn’t wearing anything under the bathrobe.

“Ok. Should I warm up the food? I am really hungry.” Tim looked at er with a questioning look.

“Uhm… yes… that would be great. Again, thank you.” (Y/N) hurried to the bathroom where the clothes Tim led her were still lying on the floor.

Just as she wanted to change into the clothes, Tim called her name.

“Come on we have to go! Grey has new information about Angela!” Instead of changing into the comfortable clothes, she just again slipped into her dress from the evening. Her hair was still wet but it didn’t matter at the moment.

When she stepped into the kitchen, she couldn’t help but notice Tim’s gaze at her. He scratched his neck, something she knew he did when he felt uncomfortable or nervous which has only happened once before.

“Ehm… Your… zipper isn’t properly… closed.”

Fuck! This didn’t just happen. Half of her chest was exposed… How could she not have noticed that before?! She already felt uncomfortable enough in this situation. Why did this have to happen exactly today. (Y/N) felt like she was about to cry.

She tried to close the zipper but it jammed.

“Wait let me do this.” As if the situation couldn’t get more embarrassing now her boss offered to close the zipper of her dress? If it was at least a zipper at the back of the dress but no. Why did she choose that dress today?

While Tim closed the zipper, (Y/N) only stared at the ceiling, unable to look at him.

“Ok. All done. Let’s go.” She ran to the car, as fast as it was possible in high heels. She slumped into the passenger’s seat.

“Here. Drink.” (Y/N) eyed Tim’s hand as he gave her a can of red bull.

“Oh wow. Thanks.” She was lucky he remembered to pack a few energy drinks in the back of the car, as they both were sleep deprived. And she herself was glad she packed her back with make up for the wedding, which was still in it.

She put the light on and put a bit of her make up on, so it wasn’t as obvious as before that she had cried before.

“You really do your make up now? In a driving car? Nobody is going to be interested in how you look. We have bigger problems at the moment.” (Y/N) glared at him.

Tim had been married. Didn’t he know doing make up is important for a woman? She always found it calming to do make up. It was soothing to do the precise work. Not being able to make mistakes especially not in a stressful situation.  

***

Only a few minutes later they arrived at the police department. They hurried to the Sergeant’s office. Nolan, Chen, and Nyla were already there. The only one missing was Wesley.

“Thank you for coming. Wesley’s not here. He is already in Guatemala. Lokks like he had an informer who helped him find La Fiera aka Sandra de la Cruz. We don’t know what’s going to happen. La Fiera is mentally instable especially after what happened to her son. I can’t officially send anyone to Guatemala.” Grey shot them a meaningful look.

“So, we’ll just have to wait what Wesley can do? He doesn’t have anyone there! He is an attorney! He has no chance against Sandra de la Cruz!” Nolan made a point there.

“I said I can’t officially send you there. But if I don’t know what you are going to do, I can’t prevent you from doing whatever you plan to.”

Now it was Tim speaking: “Conference room. Now. Everyone but Grey.”

***

Only an hour later everything was planned. They all were flying to Guatemala. (Y/N) has never been flying with a helicopter before, what makes her really nervous.

Next to her, sat Tim and on the opposite side were Lucy and John sat. Nyla was in the front with the pilot and in the back were two more seats for Angela and Wesley.

(Y/N) drummed her fingers on her thigh, squeezing her eyes shut as the chopper took off. She has changed into her police uniform, as the evening gown wouldn’t have been really practical for a long flight to Guatemala and probably a few shootouts.

She felt a hand on her fingers which where still drumming a rhythm. Tim’s.

“You ok, (Y/L/N)?” He was into full police mode. There wasn’t any space for kind words. They were about to free Angela and maybe even Wesley. If anyone wasn’t concentrated or anxious, they shouldn’t have come with them. It would have been irresponsible.

“I’m fine, Bradford.” Her voice didn’t sound as strong as she hoped, but everyone seemed to buy it for now.

After they finally landed, Harper, Nolan and Bradford were busy preparing the drone, while Lucy and (Y/N) looked around to make sure that they were save for now. They weren’t really near the house, but they didn’t know how careful La Fiera was.

It was already early in the morning. No one has slept in the last 24 hours, but they were so hyped up by adrenaline and energy drinks, that they barely felt how tired they were.

“Have you eaten anything in the last few hours”, asked Lucy at some point.

“A protein bar at the station but I not more. Didn’t have appetite after… after what happened yesterday. And you? Have you even been home?” (Y/N) could see that Lucy was exhausted and that she cried before. Her eyes were red and swollen.

“No. I couldn’t. I told Tamara I needed to do overtime but I don’t think she bought it. I stayed at the department and slept on a chair in the conference room. I just wasn’t able to go home to see Jackson’s stuff lying everywhere in the apartment. Where you at home? You still were in you dress when you came after Grey called you.” Lucy looked at her for a short time but not long as they still had to concentrate on La Fiera’s workers.

(Y/N) shook her head while saying: “I couldn’t go home either. Didn’t want to be alone after what happened. Tim offered me to sleep at his place.”

“Tim? Tim Bradford? Our boss Timothy Bradford?” Lucy looked really surprised but (Y/N) couldn’t blame her. She nodded.

“Yepp. He was really kind. I was very… upset earlier, so I was very thankful.”

Her friend still looked a bit shocked.

“Wow… that’s… strange. But you don’t have… feelings… for him… right?” (Y/N) laughed.

“God, no. I have to admit it had been a bit strange at the beginning but he was really understanding. He even bought pizza which is now probably cold.”

Even though she laughed, she wasn’t sure if the “feelings-theory” was that wrong. Did she have feelings for Tim? She has often questioned that before.

Every time he touched her it felt… special. She felt like her stomach felt full of butterflies. But she can’t have feelings for him, right? He was her boss and Lucy had to break up with Nolan because he had been also a rookie and not even her boss.

Damn it, why does she always have feelings for guys she cannot have. She still knows how it felt seeing Tim on her side when she woke up from surgery after she was involved in a knife attack. He said he didn’t stay in hospital all night, but she knew he was lying as he still wore the same clothes as the day before.

“Ok, the drone is ready”, Lucy and (Y/N) heard over the radio. They ran back to Bradford, Nolan and Harper. The display, that Nyla was holding, showed everything that was to see with the drone’s camera.

“Ok, they put Wesley and Angela in the trucks. It looks like she is in labor. Ok, that’s what we wanted. No. No! They drive them separated! Nolan, (Y/LN). You follow Wesley. Bradford, Chen and I, we follow Lopez to the hospital. Go!”

***

Like they were told, John and (Y/N) followed Wesley. It looked like there was only one person with him, but they couldn’t know for sure.

As (Y/N) and John followed the truck carrying Wesley, the tension in the air was palpable. Every second felt like an eternity as they carefully maintained their distance, making sure not to lose sight of the vehicle but also not to arouse suspicion. The city's neon lights flickered past, casting an eerie glow on the damp streets.

"(Y/N), are you okay?" John asked, his voice steady but concerned.

(Y/N) nodded, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "I'm fine, Nolan. Just... focused."

John glanced at her, noticing the tightness around her eyes. He knew what it felt like to be on edge, especially after a traumatic event. "We're going to get them back. Both Wesley and Angela. We just have to stay sharp."

(Y/N) appreciated his words but couldn't shake the gnawing anxiety in her stomach. She forced herself to stay in the moment, her training kicking in as she scanned the surroundings for any signs of any danger.

The truck turned into an industrial area, and (Y/N) signaled to John. "We need to be ready for anything.”

When they arrived at some kind of farm, the vehicle stopped, the person in the truck stepped out, revealing a silhouette in the bright sunlight. John and (Y/N) exchanged a glance and nodded, both ready to move.

"We need to get closer," (Y/N) whispered as they slipped out of their vehicle and crept towards the warehouse, using the shadows of the trees for cover.

They could see how Wesley got pulled out of the car, a weapon held to the side of his head.

“Faster! I don’t have the time for your games!” Just when Nolan and (Y/N) noticed that the man was about to shoot, they stepped forward.

“Drop the weapon! Now!” Suddenly, a shot rang out, and (Y/N) felt a sharp pain in her side. She gasped, stumbling and clutching her wound as she fell to the ground. John immediately dropped to her side, his eyes wide with fear and determination.

“(Y/N)! Stay with me," John urged, his hands shaking as he applied pressure to her wound. "We need backup! Officer down, officer down!" he called into his radio.

(Y/N)'s vision blurred, but she forced herself to stay conscious. "John... you need to... get Wesley..."

“I know. He is just over there. It’s going to be ok. Just stay with me.

 Back at the hospital, Tim Bradford, Lucy Chen, and Nyla Harper were on high alert, they already found Angela and were on their way to the chopper that should bring them back to LA. Tim's mind was racing, worry etched across his face. He couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in his gut, and it only intensified when he heard Nolan’s frantic call over the radio.

"Officer down. (Y/N) has been shot. We need immediate medical assistance!"

Tim's heart skipped a beat. He glanced at Lucy, who looked equally horrified, which wasn’t surprising as (Y/N) was her best friend. Lucy has already lost Jackson, just yesterday, she couldn’t bear to lose (Y/N) now too.

When they all arrived at the chopper, they found John – who already was in the chopper - desperately trying to keep (Y/N) conscious. The sight of her, pale and bleeding, hit Bradford like a train. He rushed to her side, his hands trembling as he took over from John.

"(Y/N), hang on. You're going to be okay," Tim said, his voice cracking. He couldn't hide the emotion in his eyes. "Stay with me."

She looked up at him, her vision fading but her heart swelling at his presence. "Tim... I..."

"Don't talk," Tim interrupted, his voice choked with emotion. "Save your strength. We are on our way to the hospital.”

Thanks to his time in the army, he knew how to handle shooting wounds. He pressed a shirt – he assumed it was Nolan’s – to the wound, wincing as (Y/N) cried out in pain.

“I am so, so sorry.” Tim had never felt something like that when someone got shot. Not even when he was the one shot. He had never felt this much panic. He never had to hold back tears.

Hours later, Tim sat in the waiting room, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. He couldn't lose her. Not when he finally understood what she meant to him.

"Any news?" Lucy asked, her voice trembling.

Tim shook his head, unable to speak. They sat in silence, each of them lost in their thoughts, until a doctor finally approached.

"She's stable," the doctor said, and Tim felt a rush of relief so intense it nearly knocked him over. "She lost a lot of blood, but she's going to be okay."

Tim let out a shaky breath. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice filled with gratitude.

As they were allowed into her room, Tim sat by (Y/N)'s bedside, holding her hand gently. She looked fragile, but there was a peacefulness to her face that gave him hope.

When her eyes fluttered open, she smiled weakly at him. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," Tim replied, his voice soft. "You scared me."

(Y/N) chuckled weakly. "Sorry about that."

Tim leaned closer; his eyes locked onto hers. "You were trying to tell me something before..."

“It was nothing. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to let me die there”, she whispered. She doesn’t know why she couldn’t just say the truth but this didn’t seem to be the right moment. She had just been shot. What if he assumed she was just high on morphine – which she probably was, but that’s not the point.

The point is, she has feelings for her Sergeant. For her boss. And she doesn’t know if he felt the same. She has doubts. Why would someone like Tim, who doesn’t let any feelings near him, like her? She was just another colleague of his.

“Mhm… ok. I have to go. I am on shift today, but I will come back later. And here, I’ve got you a burger and fries. Thought you don’t want to have the gross hospital food after you were shot and haven’t eaten for 35 hours.” Tim held a paper back towards her.

“Thank you. And wait… I haven’t eaten for 35 hours? That’s a record!” Tim chuckled at (Y/N)’s attempt to lighten the mood.

“See you later.”

***

A bit later, Lucy stepped into the room, what made (Y/N) happy as she has already watched three movies and started to get bored.

"Hey, you," Lucy greeted, her voice warm. "How are you feeling?"

(Y/N) managed a small smile. "I've been better. But I'm alive, thanks to you all."

Lucy pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed. "We're just glad you're okay. You really gave us all a scare."

(Y/N) hesitated, then decided to share her burden. If anyone could help her, it was Lucy. "Lucy, can I talk to you about something? Something... kind of… personal?"

Lucy raised an eyebrow, definitely intrigued. "Of course. What's up?"

(Y/N) took a deep breath, her heart pounding. "It's about Tim. I... I think…I have feelings for him. I have for a while, but I don't think I can tell him. I mean, why would he ever feel the same way about me?"

Lucy leaned back, crossing her arms with a smile tugging at her lips “I knew it. It was clear to all of us. Lopey, Harper and I, we even have a bet running when you are going to tell each other. But really, why would you think you're not enough for him?"

(Y/N) looked away, feeling a lump in her throat. "I don't know. He's just... Tim. Strong, dependable, a great leader and so, so confident. And I'm just... me."

Lucy leaned forward; her expression serious now. "Listen, (Y/N). Tim is great, but you're amazing too. You're brave, dedicated, and you've got a heart of gold. And you are so damn strong. You have just survived a shooting. If Tim doesn't see that, then he's blind. But honestly, from what I've seen, I think he does see it."

(Y/N) felt a flicker of hope but still wasn't convinced. "But what if I'm wrong? What if it ruins everything?"

“That’s the risk you’d have to take. But I really doubt it. How he looks at you? How worried he was when he heard you got shot? He even stayed in the uncomfortable hospital waiting room all night as he refused to go home in case something happened! He told Harper to get you the burger and fries in your favorite shop and was about to kill her when she wanted to go to a different one!”

(Y/N) looked at her best friend with wide eyes.

“Are you being serious?” Lucy nodded.

“I wouldn’t say that if I wasn’t.” (Y/N) looked away, tears welling up in her eyes.

Lucy sighed, reaching out to gently turn (Y/N)’s face back toward her. "Listen to me. Life is too short to hold back your feelings. If you care about him, he deserves to know. And you deserve to be happy."

(Y/N) sniffled, a small smile breaking through her fear. "But how? When? I can't just blurt it out."

They both chuckled at the thought of her randomly telling Tim she likes him.

“Maybe you tell him when you get discharged from hospital. I am sure he is going to be there because he worries about you and wants to make sure you are ok. He even volunteered to drive you to your apartment and make sure you are comfortable with staying at home without anyone”, Lucy said.

“Ok. That sounds like a plan. Thank you.” Lucy squeezed her hand and smiled at her.

“That’s what friends are for.”

***

Finally, the day of her discharge came, and (Y/N) has thought about this moment a lot. How would she tell Tim? Where? When they are still driving to her apartment or should she invite him into her apartment to talk to him? She has never been the one to tell the other person she’s in love with them.

Tim entered her hospital room, where she sat on her bed, wearing joggers and a wide shirt. She knew she didn’t look her best, but if Tim expected something different, only 5 days after she had been shot, he would be stupid.

“Hey. Are you ready to go home?” Tim stepped into the room, smiling softly at her. Had Lucy been right? Did he really feel the same for her as she did for him? He wasn’t the mean, strong man in this moment. He looked… she didn’t even know how to say it… softer than usually?

“More than ready. 5 days in a hospital without proper Wi-Fi is definitely too long.” Tim chuckled.

“Ok, come on. Can you walk on your own?” (Y/N) nodded even though she wasn’t so sure. Yes, the meds they gave her are good, but not as good as she didn’t feel the pain in her abdomen where the bullet hit her spleen.

She slowly got up from bed, trying not to wince because of the pain she felt.

“Let me help you.” (Y/N) didn’t even react before she felt Tims arm around her, helping her to stay upright.

Somehow, they managed to go to the car, and (Y/N) took a deep breath when she finally sat in the comfortable passenger seat of Tim’s car.

“Are you sure you are alright being home again? Without help? You didn’t even manage to go to the car properly.“

(Y/N) waved him off.

“I am going to be ok. The meds only start to wear off but it is going to be better once I have taken the new painkillers they gave me.”

“Mhm…”

While they drove, it was quite silent. (Y/N) thought about how to tell Tim how she felt about him, because she still wasn’t sure how to break the news.

The car came to a gentle stop in front of her apartment building. Tim turned off the engine and looked over at her. "You sure you're ready for this? I can stay for a bit if you need help getting settled."

(Y/N) nodded, taking a deep breath. "Actually, Tim, I was hoping you would come in for a bit. There's something I need to talk to you about."

Tim's brow furrowed with curiosity, but he nodded and got out of the car, helping her carefully navigate her way to her apartment. Once inside, she guided him to the living room, the familiarity of the space giving her comfort.

"Sit down, please," (Y/N) said, her voice sounded higher than usually. She motioned to the couch, and Tim obliged, his eyes never leaving hers.

"What's on your mind?" Tim asked, his tone gentle but also worried. And maybe a bit panicked?

(Y/N) took a seat beside him, her hands twisting nervously in her lap. "Tim, I... I need to tell you something kind of really important. It's been on my mind for a while now, and after everything that has happened, I just can't keep it to myself for longer."

Tim leaned forward, his full attention on her. "You can tell me anything. You know that."

She took a deep breath, her heart racing. "Tim, I... I think I have feelings for you. I know it's probably not appropriate, and I know you're my boss, but I can't help it. I care about you, more than just as a colleague or a friend."

The words hung in the air, and for a moment, (Y/N) feared the worst. Tim's expression was unreadable, and she braced herself for rejection.

But then Tim reached out, taking her hand in his. His touch was warm, reassuring. "I don't know what to say," he began, his voice soft. "Except that I feel the same way. I have felt like this for quite a while now. I care about you a lot, and it scared me to think I might lose you when you got shot and laid there."

(Y/N)'s eyes filled with tears, a mixture of relief and overwhelming emotion. "Really? I was so scared you wouldn't feel the same."

Tim smiled; a rare, genuine smile that even made her heart skip a beat. "It was hard to admit, even to myself. But seeing you hurt, thinking about what could have happened... it made me realize how much you mean to me."

There was an awkward silence for a moment, both of them processing the magnitude of what they had just confessed. Then, Tim chuckled softly. "I guess we're both pretty bad at this, huh?"

(Y/N) laughed, wiping a tear from her cheek. "Yeah, I guess we are. But I'm glad we finally talked about it."

“Me too.” Tim swiped his thumb over the back of (Y/N)’s hand, which he still had in his own.

“Tim? Is… is it ok if I kiss you?” Instead of an answer, Tim leaned into her direction, and kissed her like she never had been kissed before.

In this moment she knew that she loved this man. He has always been there for her. He was the person she talked about everything that happened in her life.

When Tim let go of her again, (Y/N) opened her mouth to say something.

“Was everything… with us… why you have always reacted so jealous and… tight… when I talked about my last boyfriends?”

Tim looked at her, his lips swollen from their kiss.

“Maybe… but I wouldn’t have wanted it differently. I loved listening to everything that happened in your life. And you always smiled so sweet when you talked about everything. I loved listening to you. I still have the records of when you recorded my books I had to learn for the sergeant test. Thank you.”

 “What are you thanking me for?” (Y/N) looked at Tim confused.

“For being you. For making me laugh. For trusting me. Simply for everything. But I believe we aren’t allowed to work together from now on.”

“What if we didn’t tell anyone we are a couple?” Tim raised his brow at the question, before shrugging.

“I think that could work too.”