#Fire Warrior ((Xandra)) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

psychosistr · 5 years

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Los Caballeros Malvados- Episode 1: Nope-a-Cabana

Summary: Donald has the worst birthday in the history of all birthdays, but it seems like it might turn around after he meets a shifty but cunning parrot and a tough but slightly crazy rooster.

Notes: Inspired by this awesome picture drawn by @levtuve featuring their evil José design, evil Donald design by raisa_art, and bandit Panchito design by kichiroart, this is sort of a fate/role-swap!AU featuring the Three Caballeros as the villains. Enjoy!

(Also, I left links to what I believe are the correct pages for raisa_art and kichiroart’s instagram accounts, but if I somehow got the wrong ones or if there’re any other social media anyone knows of that I can link to them, please let me know.)

Next Chapter->

“Throughout history, there has been a never ending battle between light and dark- between the forces of good and the forces of evil.” A dark voice speaks while images of the cosmos and several strange worlds within float by in a sea of chaos.

“For the light, there are foolishly brave heroes that fight to preserve peace and order among the realms…” A golden glimmer in the distance shines like a beacon in the chaos.

“And, for the dark, there are greedy, black-hearted villains that fight for their own gain and to bring chaos to the universe.” On a floating chunk of land on the other side of the barren battlefield, a large, dark shadow looms over the vast emptiness with three figures glowing blue, red, and green standing on the land below.

“For many years, the scales of battle were tipped in favor of the light. Until THEY appeared-” The blue, red, and green figures stepped out from under the shadow’s cover, looking ready for battle. “The Three Caballeros!”

“Ready, boys?” The blue figure was the first to speak. He was a duck dressed in a dark parody of a super outfit with a black base color, dark blue cape, blue gloves, a light blue belt, dark boots, a blue sailor hat, and a black mask around glowing purple eyes.

“I was born ready!” The red figure was the next to speak. He was a rooster that fit the description of a classic evil bandito with a sombrero, red serape, red bolero pants, spurs, guns holstered on a brown belt, black fingerless gloves, and a white skeleton-beak bandana tied over his real beak.

“While I may not have been born ready, I am certainly ready now.” The green figure was the last to speak, his voice suave and confident. He was a green parrot in a more casual outfit than his companions, consisting of a dark unbuttoned jacket with matching pants, a purple buttoned-up shirt, a red belt, a light hat with a black stripe, yellow gloves, and a dark necklace with a black pendant inscribed with a symbol that seemed to be a layered circle with several intricate lines crossing in the middle of it like a compass with more lines and dots in the middle and one shape like a star outside of each quarter of the circle.

“Good. Now,” The duck looked towards the source of golden light in the distance. “ATTACK!!” He shouted as he led the charge towards the light.

At his command, the other two charged into battle alongside him.

The rooster drew his guns from their holsters and fired several rounds at their targets. The parrot flicked his wrists and a few knives slid into his waiting hands, a black energy surrounding them before he threw them in the same direction. The duck was the last to attack, raising his hands that glowed with the same purple energy as his eyes before he thrust his fists forward to fire off a pair of fist-shaped energy projectiles.

The golden light finally moved, revealing itself to be two people: One was a tall woman clad in golden armor with a bow held tightly in her hands and a book bound on her back. The other was a goose dressed in a hooded white robe with golden accents holding a wooden staff.

The woman moved first, running forward to meet the attacks head-on. She raised her bow and fired arrows made of golden energy at the bullets and knives to deflect them. She then did the same to one of the magical blasts, but the other was too close and almost hit her.

Luckily for her, the goose raised his staff and pointed it in her direction, summoning a mystic barrier of golden energy that blocked the attack at the last second. He let out a relieved breath when he saw that she was unharmed and she turned back slightly to give him a thumbs-up in thanks.

They were not given much time to rest, though, as the trio of dark warriors was closing in on them.

The duck pointed at the ground in front of them and drew two circle in the air with his index and ring-fingers. This summoned two portals of glowing purple energy on the ground directly in the path of the rooster and the parrot. The two birds leapt into the portals without hesitation, already preparing for their next attack. The duck then pointed in the direction of the golden-clad woman and flicked the rest of his fingers open in her direction to shoot two sparks of purple energy towards her.

The sparks struck the area behind her before she had time to react, the energy forming two portals that quickly opened so the rooster and parrot could leap out at her. The rooster had holstered his guns, leaving his hands free so he could grapple with the strong woman, proving himself an even match for her in a power-struggle. Fortunately for him and unfortunately for her, the parrot was not involved in this little struggle and was free to attack at his leisure. He smirked as he held up a knife pulsating with black energy, making sure she saw it before he slashed her exposed arm with it.

“AAAH!” The woman let out a pained shout when the blade left a glowing black gash on her arm, the pain making her elbow bend slightly and giving the rooster the opening he needed to push her back.

While the pair of birds continued their two-on-one fight against the heroic warrior, her companion tried to aide her. “Xandra!” He tapped his staff on the ground and attempted to send a white current of energy towards her, but, before he could, a dark spike suddenly thrust itself up out of the ground and broke the magic’s path.

He looked back to where the duck had slowed his approach, now walking at a calm pace with a smirk on his bill. “Aww, what’s the matter, Shelby?” He asked tauntingly, the dark magic on his hands flaring up to cover his whole body. “Afraid of the dark?” He clenched his hands into fists and thrust them down towards the ground, the dark magic shooting out of them and propelling him into the air like rockets.

He controlled the propulsion from his magic with ease and landed right in front of the goose. The two gathered their power into their respective weapons- the duck into his fists and the goose into his staff- before clashing in a battle of light and dark magic.

The duck attacked with his charged fists while the goose blocked the hits with his staff. Each point of contact set off sparks of black and white energy. This went on until the goose spotted an opening and used his staff to knock the duck’s feet out from under him. The duck let out a startled squawk when he fell onto his back, unintentionally giving the goose a clear shot at the other three combatants.

Now that he had a second to aim, the goose pointed his staff at his injured comrade and fired a beam of white light that hit her from the side. The white energy spread along her body, healing the multitude of black gashes that had gathered on her body during the fight.

The assistance came just in time, it seemed, as she was currently backed against the edge of the chunk of land they were battling on. Now that she’d gotten her strength back, she turned the tables on her attackers by gripping the rooster’s hands and spinning around, knocking him into the parrot that had still been nearby and preparing to attack again. She knocked the parrot off the edge and threw the startled rooster down with him.

“Aaaaaaaah!” The pair shouted in alarm as they plummeted towards the dark abyss below.

“NO!!” The duck scrambled to his feet and rushed to the edge to see where his companions were. Much to his relief, a furry winged creature swooped down and caught the pair before they fell too far. “Whew..” He sighed in relief before turning his attention back to his opponents. He looked just in time to avoid a golden arrow that was aimed right at his head. “Woah!” He dodged it just in time by leaning back and retaliated by shooting a blast of dark magic back at the attacking warriors.

The goose summoned another barrier to block the attack from the front, but he failed to notice the other two villains reappearing along with their beastly winged mount behind the pair of heroes. With their attention focused on the duck in front of them, the poor warriors of light didn’t even know what hit them until it was too late.

The heroes suddenly fell over with stabbing pains- the goose from a bullet shot through his chest from behind and the woman from a glowing knife in the center of her back. With startled cries of pain, the two attempted to stay close together as the goose threw up a dome-like barrier to protect them from further harm.

The trio of villains attempted to break the barrier while the shadow that had previously loomed over them returned. It revealed itself to be a large, demonic creature with dark skin and glowing eyes and horns- looking like something sent straight from the underworld.

“Stand aside, fools!” The creature’s voice was loud in the vast area with nothing in its way. The villains were quick to obey the demon’s command, all of them taking several steps back just in time to avoid the giant fist that swung down to smash the barrier with ease. The heroes tried to get up, but with a simple flick of its fingers the demon sent the goose flying over the edge with a panicked cry. “Pathetic.”

“Baron!” The woman shouted as she tried to grab onto him, but was stopped by the three evil adversaries blocking her path. The duck raised one of his hands covered by dark magic and used it to roughly shove her back to the ground, causing the knife still lodged in her back to dig in painfully. “Nhh!” She winced and tried to get up again, but, when she raised her head, she found herself with a darkly glowing hand, a black-energy coated knife, and a gun all pointed directly at her face.

“Face it, toots,” The duck said while giving her a cold, dead-pan look as the three of them prepared to finish her off. “You’ve lost.”

“No..” She said in a quiet voice, her tone soft and filled with a deep-seated pain. “No!” She repeated louder, slamming her fist against the ground in frustration before looking up at the three birds with an expression that was somewhere between despair and rage. “How could you do this?! You’ve betrayed everything your ancestors fought for! Doomed everyone and everything you’ve ever known! And for WHAT?!”

“Hmm..” The duck tilted his head to the side in thought for a moment before looking back down at her with a smirk. “Just because we wanted to, I guess.”

“That sounds about right.” The parrot agreed with a matching smirk.

“Yeah, seemed like fun.” The rooster joined in with a chuckle, the smile clear in his eyes even if the lower half of his face wasn’t visible.

The three birds and the demon looming over them shared a laugh at both the look of shock on her face and a general sense of joy from the destruction that they caused. Once they were done laughing, they all prepared to attack as one and finish her off for good when-

Wait, I think this needs some context.

“What?!” The dark voice shouts as the scene suddenly freezes, looking as if someone paused the universe. “Context?! We are bearing witness to the ultimate battle of good and evil and you want to stop at the BEST PART for the sake of CONTEXT?!!!”

Yeah, it feels weird to start at the end, doesn’t it?

“Are you kidding me?! What’s weird is stopping in the middle just to go back to the beginning!” The voice argues.

It doesn’t have to be all the way back- most people already know how it starts. We’ll just start close to the beginning, deal?

“Fiiiiine..” The voice concedes, but still sounds annoyed. “Just don’t take forever! I hate cliff hangers!”

I won’t- I promise. Now then, let’s just rewind this back towards the beginning…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The story starts a few months ago, following the misfortune of one poor, down-on-his-luck duck named Donald. Donald had been trying to celebrate his birthday by having a good breakfast before going to see his girlfriend, Daisy, when, in a series of unfortunate, almost cosmically timed events, he proceeded to lose his job due to giving a kid a bad haircut, have his house burn down because he left a kettle burning on the stove, and, the cherry on top, his girlfriend dumped him without even listening to why he wasn’t able to come pick her up from the bust station. Yes, everything that could have possibly gone wrong went wrong for poor Donald.

That is, until he received a letter informing him that one of his relatives had passed away and left him a sizable inheritance.

With nothing left for him in Duckburg, Donald took his meager suitcase packed with the few singed belongings he still had to his name and took a cab out to the New Quackmore Institute. After being dropped off at what looked to be an impressively large and expensive mansion, Donald felt like his luck was finally turning around. He went in, made himself a sandwich, and got comfortable in what he thought was HIS new home.

Unfortunately for Donald, the actual owner of the estate, a large goose dressed in a dapper looking suit, came down to angrily inform him that he had the wrong address- stating that the property left to him was actually the address next door.

After being forcibly thrown out by the goose’s guards, Donald found the actual house left to him and was…less than pleased…

“What a dump..” Donald muttered to himself while looking at the shack with an odd mask hanging above the doorway. “Well, at least it’s all mine…”

“Mr.Duck, I presume?” A woman’s voice interrupted his train of thought and he looked up to see a female dog in a suit staring him down with an expression that said she would rather be anywhere else.

“Who wants to know?” He asked while eyeing her with a scowl.

“I am the executor of your great grandfather’s estate.” She gave as an introduction without even bothering to say her name. “Will the others be joining us?”

“Others?” Donald echoed back with a confused expression.

As if on cue, a long-distance travel bus pulled up in front of the cabana. Donald could see several attractive women through the windows and, secretly, hoped it would be one of them stepping out. Instead, a green parrot dressed in a light yellowish-brown suit and hat that looked more than a little worn was the one to step out.

“Thank you for such a wonderful trip.” He said with an accented voice, turning to wink at the passengers still in the bus. “Your company made the views even more lovely. Alas, I must be on my way.”

“Aww!” The girls pouted at him.

“Don’t go, José!” Some of them actually began to cry.

“I LOVE YOU!!!” One of them screamed desperately.

“Do not worry, minhas lindas damas- it is goodbye for now, but our hearts shall forever be connected.” He said smoothly as he blew them a kiss. The girls swooned and some of them even fainted from the cheesy words and action.

“Ahem.” He was about to leave the bus entirely, when the bus driver cleared his throat pointedly and gestured to the toll box. “Ain’t you forgettin’ soemthin’?”

“Not to worry, my friend.” The parrot smirked briefly before looking at the girls with another wink. “I shall hold an extra-special place in my heart for the kind senhora who pays for my ride.”

Every girl that was still conscious on the bus raced to the toll box, pulling out cash, credit cards, and even taking off their own jewelry as collateral.

“I’ll pay it!”

“No, I will!”

“OUT OF MY WAY!!!”

The bus rocked and shook from the chaos before the driver was knocked forward into his seat and accidentally stepped on the gas, sending the bus surging forward.

Once it was out of sight down the road, the parrot turned his attention to Donald and the lawyer, removing the light-colored hat from atop his head as he bowed. “José Carioca, at your service.” He gave both Donald and the lawyer a charmingly suave smile before kissing both of them on the hand in a gentlemanly manner, doing so first to the lawyer and then Donald.

Donald blinked in surprise at the action before snatching his hand back and shoving the parrot away a few inches. “Alright, that’s enough!” He snapped while subconsciously holding the hand that had just been kissed. “What are YOU doing here?!”

José seemed unperturbed by Donald’s harsh words and actions, simply shrugging it off as he explained himself. “I am here to claim my inheritance. Which is quite fortuitous, seeing as my finances ran out a few states back.”

“What?” Donald asked while eyeing the guy suspiciously. He was too charming, too nice- guys like that were always trouble.

“I am broke.” José clarified with a chuckle while drawing closer to Donald and wrapping an arm around his shoulders in a gesture that was far too comfortable for Donald’s liking. “But, do not worry for me, meu amigo.” He side-eyed Donald with that charming look of his. “After all, money hardly matters when Lady Luck has smiled at the two of us, sim?”

Donald shrugged the bird’s arm off and glared at him. “What do you mean ‘the two of us’?”

“Actually,” The lawyer cut in before he could get an answer. “There’s three of you.”

“Three?!” Donald shouted while turning to glare at her instead.

Again, as if on cue, they heard the humming of an engine- only this time, instead of being on the ground, the sound was coming from above them. WAY above them.

The pair of birds watched looked up to see a plane passing over head. A single figure jumped out the side with a long shout of “YAAA-OOOOOOOO!!!” as it hurtled towards the ground.

“….???” They watched as the figure got closer and closer, waiting in anticipation for the parachute to expand behind it, but, instead, they both cringed slightly when the figure smacked into the ground- the parachute finally deploying AFTER its wearer was face down in the stone walk-way. “!!!”

There was a tense moment of silence, neither of them wanting to be the first to lift up the fabric to see if the person was alive or not.

Then, as if nothing had happened at all, the person stood up from beneath the parachute and tossed it off of him. “Oof, well, that was a rush.” It turned out to be a rooster dressed in a red charro jacket, matching bolero pants, spurs, a brown belt with guns holstered to it, and a big sombrero on his head. He brought a hand to his neck and tipped his head side-to-side, popping a few joints in the process. “Guess that tour guide gave me a faulty parachute by mistake…or he was wrong about it being self-opening..”

“I think he just wanted you dead..” Donald said quietly while watching the rooster with a look of bewilderment- seriously, how was this guy still alive?!

“Really? You think so?” He asked as if the idea had honestly never occurred to him. “Huh..” He shrugged it off and tossed the parachute aside. “Oh well, now I don’t feel so bad.” Donald was about to ask what he wouldn’t feel bad about, when he noticed the plane crashing miles away along the horizon. The rooster ignored the sounds of the crashing plane and smiled brightly at them as he took both his and José’s hands to greet them properly. “Hola, amigos! Yo soy Panchito ‘Pistoles’ Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González III- but my friends call me Panchito.” He chuckled as he let go of their hands and put his own hands on his hips. “So, you guys got an inheritance too? Talk about good luck, huh?”

Donald turned away from the new-comer and José to look at the lawyer, gesturing in the direction of the other two without looking at them. “Who ARE these guys?!”

“Uh, I just told you, remember?” The rooster dressed in red asked with a tilt of his head before gesturing to himself. “Yo soy Panchito ‘Pistoles’ Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González III.”

“But your friends call you Panchito, sim?” José finished with a chuckle, putting his arm around the rooster’s shoulders similarly to what he did with Donald earlier.

“¡Sí!” Panchito grinned and put his own arm around the parrot’s waist in return. “This guy gets it!”

Donald closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, feeling like he was about to blow from how casual those two were being about the whole situation. “Rrrrrr..!!”

“Haha!” Panchito laughed and grabbed Donald with his other arm, wrapping it around the duck’s shoulders and pulling him into the friendly embrace. “Aw, come on, amigo! We just got a rundown old shack, a sleazy lawyer, and two new friends!”

“Who wouldn’t love all of this?” José asked sarcastically while rolling his eyes.

“ME!” Donald snapped while shoving Panchito’s arm off of his shoulders and stepping away from the overly-friendly birds.

“A-hem.” Their attention was drawn back to the lawyer as she held up a piece of paper. “If we’re quite done, allow me to do my job and read the will.” They waited in silence for her to proceed, Donald doing so more begrudgingly than the other two. “ ‘I, Clinton Coot, bequeath my museum collection and explorer’s cabana to my great-grandson, Donald Duck, and the other direct descendants of the Three Caballeros.’ ”

“The three caba-what-o’s?” All three birds asked in perfect synchronization. Donald was a little relieved to find that they seemed just as confused as he was for once.

The lawyer rolled her eyes slightly in annoyance before enunciating the word as if she was speaking to toddlers. “Cab-ah-yerrrr-o’s”. She stretched the word out, even rolling the r a little for pronunciation.

Donald hated being talked down to and put his hands on his hips while glaring at the lawyer. “Watch it, lady.” He warned before gesturing towards Panchito and José again. “Now, let me get this straight- you’re saying I have to share this dump with these two weirdos?”

“I beg your pardon.” José said while placing a hand on Donald’s shoulder. It felt less friendly this time, though, and more threatening with how he was squeezing it, making the friendly smile he gave Donald feel like a warning despite his tone of voice staying the same. “I believe the word you are looking for is ‘eccentric’.”

Panchito just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, I’m kind of weird, not gonna lie.”

The lawyer just ignored them and walked to the door while holding a pair of golden scissors. “Gentleman, welcome to the New Quackmore Institute.” She cut the yellow caution tape away from the door..which proceeded to break and fall inward the moment the tape was gone. “Ta-daaah.” She said with the least amount of enthusiasm that anyone has ever put into anything ever.

Curious if the inside looked any better than the outside, the trio made their way to the open doorway and peeked inside. It was too dark to see inside, but something else stopped them at the door before they could go any further.

That something was a little red bird dressed in a white handy-man’s outfit that let out a scream right in their faces. “AAAAAAAH!”

The three regular-sized birds quickly jumped back from the startling sight and sound. “!!!!!”

They all reacted instantly and defensively: José raised his arm and a knife dropped from his sleeve into his hand. Panchito drew one of his guns and aimed it at the little bird. Donald surprised both of them, however, when he stood in front of the other two protectively and raised his fists in preparation for a brawl. The two birds behind him stared at him in shock, looked at each other briefly, then looked back at him with the same look of shock and confusion still on their faces.

Donald couldn’t see them, though, as he was too focused on the bird in front of him. “RRRAAAAH!” He let out an angry shout that startled the small bird. “Back off!!!” He warned it with a hard glare. He was DONE. He was already in a bad mood and he would GLADLY take it out on whatever got in his way first.

“AAAAAAAAH!!!” The bird screamed and disappeared back into the house, looking frightened by the angry duck.

Donald looked back to the lawyer once the little bird was back in the darkness of the cabana. “What the heck was that thing?”

The lawyer had taken a few steps back, at first to distance herself from the more dangerous looking rooster and parrot, but then later to get away from the angry duck that seemed far more intimidating somehow. “That..That is Ari- the caretaker of the cabana. It is in your great-grandfather’s will that he cannot be fired and must receive proper payment from the cabana’s residents.”

“Um momento.” José said while slipping his knife back up into his sleeve and looking at the lawyer as well. “You are saying that we must PAY this man??”

“Seriously?” Donald asked with a scowl.

“For as long as you live in the cabana, yes.” The lawyer answered, standing up straighter once Panchito holstered his weapon as well. “Now then, having seen to the final wishes of my retainer,” She began to walk backwards slowly. “I’m afraid I must be going!” She took off running once she was a foot or two away, clearly relieved to get away from the trio of dangerous birds and their crummy cabana.

With nothing else to do outside, the three looked at each other and shared a shrug before venturing into the darkness of the cabana for real this time. It was, unfortunately, just as dark and dingy as they’d suspected, only with the addition of being overly-cluttered on top of it all.

“What a dump..” Donald repeated his earlier observation about the run-down shack of a building as he leaned against an old table, being momentarily startled by the duck skull on it. “!!”

“It could certainly use a thorough cleaning..” José said to himself while wiping a thick layer of dust off of an old suit of armor, only to side-step the axe held in its hand when it suddenly fell downward. “!!!”

“I gotta admit,” Panchito said while examining a pile of various objects. “When I saw the neighborhood from the plane, I kinda hoped we’d be staying in that big mansion across the street..”

“Ha, those were my thoughts as well.” José sighed, taking a flask out of his jacket and unscrewing the top so he could take a big gulp of whatever was inside of it. He held the flask up with a raised eyebrow in Donald’s direction to silently ask if he wanted a drink too.

Donald shook his head in response and looked out the window at the lavish mansion that seemed to overlook the whole institute like a castle. “I actually went in there first- the guy living there told me I got the wrong address after I made a mess and ate some of his food, then he had his bodyguards throw me out. Literally.” He rolled his shoulder, a stiff joint popping to help demonstrate what happened.

José cast a glance out towards the mansion with a scowl, slipping the flask back into his jacket. “Oh, did he? That was quite rude of him. I will have a conversation with him about proper neighbor etiquette later…”

“Uh, you don’t have to do that.” Donald said and looked back at the parrot with a confused/concerned look. He didn’t know what a “conversation on etiquette” would entail, but he knew the police would probably get involved…

Before José could say anything else on the matter, Panchito found something of interest in the pile of junk he’d been examining. “Huh?” He pulled out a golden goblet encrusted with large jewels and an ancient looking vase. “Hey, guys, do you think this stuff’s real?” He asked before tossing it to José.

José caught the artifacts easily and looked them over carefully. “Hm..they certainly look genuine.” He blinked, looking as if a lightbulb had gone off in his head. “Meu amigos, I believe we may have stumbled upon something special here.” He smirked as he held the goblet up towards the doorway so that it sparkled in the light before passing it off to Donald.

Donald caught it, admiring the way the golden cup gleamed in the light. “Oooooh..” A smirk grew on his face to match José’s. “Are you boys thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”

“I think so.” Panchito grinned and held up more valuable looking stuff from the pile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple hours later, the trio of reluctant cabana residents were outside of the small building with a majority of the artifacts from inside piled on the lawn with signs hung up everywhere.

“YARD SALE!” They all called to the rich-looking people passing by them on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, pretty much everyone was ignoring them.

“Hmph, bunch of stuck-up, no-good jerks..” Donald grumbled after a woman in a large fur coat walking her perfectly groomed poodle walked past them.

“Do not let them bother you, my friend.” José said comfortingly, placing a reassuring hand on Donald’s shoulder that certainly felt better than the warning grip from earlier. “They simply do not recognize value when they see it.” He leaned close to Donald to whisper conspiratorially with a smirk. “Besides, they won’t get any of the good stuff, anyway.”

Donald smirked back at him with a wink. “Don’t worry, I remember.”

They went back to their attempts at bringing in customers for a while, only stopping when a taxi cab drove up the street through the fliers on the road. The car kicked up a cloud of smog and the sound of a door opening and closing was heard before the car drove away again.

When the car’s exhaust cleared, there were three young female ducks dressed in matching sweaters and bows in purple, yellow, and orange waiting on the sidewalk.

“We’re here, Donald.” They said in unison while walking up to him.

“Well, it’s about time!” Donald said as he walked to meet them half-way.

“But, Donald,” The purple one began with a frown. “You JUST called us!”

“And we had to come ALL the way here from Aunt Daisy’s.” The orange one added while folding her arms.

“Excuses, excuses!” He complained as he guided them towards the piles of junk on the lawn. “Now, come on, we’ve gotta move this trash and make some cash!” He leaned in to whisper to them. “Pick out anything that looks like real gold or silver or has jewels in it- José’s got connections and people we can sell the good stuff to for way more! Help us out and we’ll all split the profits.” He then assigned each of them jobs, unintentionally getting their names wrong in the process and ignoring their attempts to correct him. Once they all begrudgingly started on their tasks, Donald turned to them while nervously pulling on the collar of his sailor suit. “By the way, how IS your aunt Daisy…?”

They all turned to him, speaking in unison again. “She says you’re a dirty, rotten, no-good liar.” They turned back and continued their work, either ignoring or not noticing the hurt look on his face.

Donald heaved a sigh, his earlier smile falling into a frown. “Fair enough…” He went back to trying to get customer’s attention, but he was clearly less enthusiastic about it than before.

While the girls may not have noticed his shift in mood (or were likely just ignoring it at this point), José and Panchito certainly took notice after unintentionally eaves-dropping on the earlier conversation. After sharing a concerned look, the pair walked over to Donald to check on him.

“Forgive me for asking,” José began, idly handing out fliers to anyone that happened to walk past them. “But, who is Daisy?”

“She’s my girlfriend..” Donald replied, his frown growing a bit more. “Well..I guess she’s my EX-girlfriend, now…”

“When did you two break up?” Panchito asked while balling up some fliers and tossing them at people’s heads, ignoring the glares they sent his way.

“This afternoon..” Donald let out another heavy sigh, looking down at the fliers in his hands. “She dumped me after I lost my job and my house burned down..all because I didn’t pick her up from the bus station…”

“Mhm, I see- Espere o que aconteceu?!” José had been nodding to show he was listening, but he froze up and turned his full attention to Donald at that last part. “She left you simply because you failed to pick her up from a bus station?”

“AFTER your house burned down??” Panchito had turned his full attention on Donald as well, shocked by this news.

“Yeah..” Donald kind of gave up on handing out the fliers and just held some up when a car drove past, letting the breeze carry them away. “She came to see me for my birthday, but my boss called me into work even though I was supposed to have the day off. I ran out without turning off the stove and then he fired me just because I gave some kid a bad haircut. By the time I got back home, my house had already burned down and she called to tell me we were through..” He wiped a hand over his face, looking so small and sad compared to the angry and protective duck that had stood in front of Panchito and José earlier. “She wouldn’t even let me explain..she just called me selfish and told me to get my life together…” He gestured towards the girls that were busy cleaning up and sorting the artifacts a few feet away. “Guess she’s still not in the mood to hear me out, either..she’s probably right about me, anyway…”

“¡¿En serio?!” Panchito asked, dropping his fliers so that he could grab Donald’s shoulders, surprising the duck with both the sudden increase in his voice’s volume and the physical contact.

“Wha..?” Donald stared at the excitable rooster in confusion.

“What I believe Panchito is trying to ask is,” José put one of his hands on top of Panchito’s on Donald’s shoulder, the light touch encouraging Panchito to loosen his grip. “Why are you blaming yourself for this?”

“What do you mean?” Donald asked, looking between the two concerned faces in front of him.

“We are saying that YOU did nothing wrong.” José stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I didn’t?” Donald was still confused, but he no longer looked like the same down-trodden and depressed duck he was a moment ago.

“No way!” Panchito shook his head and gave Donald’s shoulders a firm, understanding grip that was gentler than when he first grabbed him. “Look, sometimes…sometimes things happen that aren’t our fault. You were supposed to have the day off, right?” He asked, continuing once Donald nodded to answer his question. “But your boss was a big jerk and called you in anyway, making you run out and forget about the stove AND made you late getting to the bus station, si?” Donald nodded again, Panchito giving him a kind smile. “See? None of that was YOUR fault, amigo. You did what you could, but people..” His smile fell a little bit and he sighed, glancing away for a minute. “People can be mean. It’s easier for them to make YOU be the bad guy then to hear you out.” He shook his head, regaining his earlier cheer and letting go with one hand so he could curl it into a confident fist in front of himself. “When people refuse to listen to you, then they are no longer worth talking to. So, when that happens, get back at them! Show them what kind of man you really are!” His smile shifted into a smirk. “If they still don’t listen to you after that, then whatever happens is their fault, not yours.”

“Panchito is right.” José said, sliding his arm around Donald’s shoulders like he had when they first met. “People will only see the world in black and white- if you try to explain yourself, most of the time, they do not listen.” With his free hand, he unbuttoned the top portion of his shirt enough that he could pull out a necklace with an odd symbol on it that Donald had never seen before. “For instance, if I told you that I regularly converse with a god who controls evil spirits, you would most likely call me crazy or evil, sim?”

Donald shrugged slightly after giving it some thought. “I saw some pretty weird stuff growing up..”

José chuckled at the casual response. “That is refreshing to hear.” He looked like he was about to tuck it back under his shirt, but a white hand over his gloved one stopped him, causing him to look at Donald with a raised eyebrow. “…?”

“You should leave it out.” Donald said with a small smile. “It looks good on you.” He smiled a bit more when he saw the surprised look on José’s face from the compliment. “If anyone says anything about it, I’ll take care of ‘em.”

José smiled back in return and left the pendant exposed over his shirt. “And we will take care of anyone who gives YOU trouble in return, my friend.”

“You bet we will!” Panchito agreed enthusiastically, putting one hand on José’s shoulder while keeping the other on Donald’s, effectively uniting the three of them in a connected triangle. “From now on, no one’s gonna mess with us!”

“Yeah!” Donald agreed just as enthusiastically as Panchito had, a full smile spreading over his beak. “If no one wants to listen to us, then what happens is THEIR fault!” He repeated back Panchito’s words from earlier, feeling much better already.

Maybe this was going to be an okay birthday after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another hour or so passed with the trio of older birds handing out fliers and selling trinkets to the one or two people that actually stopped by and the younger trio sorting everything out into what they were selling now and was going to be sold (likely through the black market) later. Donald’s mood had definitely turned around thanks to José and Panchito’s encouragement and he was enjoying himself again, really getting into the spirit of things and hoping to get as much cash as possible.

Just as he’d finished getting a few bucks for some old tiki head they’d found, he heard a panting, winded voice trying to speak nearby. “A..yard..sale..?!” He looked over and saw the goose he’d bumped into earlier- a rather portly one in a purple suit coat and black tie with black hair and a thin mustache.

Donald tried not to cringe as the goose finally caught his breath and glared at him. Thankfully, José came to his rescue by coming around beside him and placing an arm around Donald’s shoulder again.

“A brilliant idea, sim?” He asked with a grin and a wink. “The people around here have lots of cash.” He even rubbed the fingers of his free hand together in the classic pantomiming gesture for money.

“Yeah, and we’ve got lots of yard!” Panchito piped up helpfully, coming up around Donald’s other side to place a hand on his back.

The goose only seemed to become more irritated by their jovial attitude and jabbed Donald in the chest with an accusatory finger, earning him a glare from José and Panchito as they moved in closer to the duck between them. “You are in violation of New Quackmore etiquette! If you do not stop this instant, you will be EJECTED from the institute!!” He yelled between gasps for breath.

Donald absentmindedly brushed a hand over the sore spot on his chest that the goose had poked rather harshly. “Aw, come on- is this about the sandwich?”

Mentioning the sandwich seemed to elicit two reactions around him: More anger from the goose in front of him at the reminder of their earlier encounter, and a more protective sort of anger from the birds beside him when they figured out who exactly this guy was and how he’d treated their new friend before.

“What? Sandwich?” The goose asked before jabbing his finger at Donald again. “No! It is about decades worth of tradition that you are stamping upon with your..little..” He trailed off, looking as if a thought had just occurred to him. “Actually..” He shook his head, taking a breath to ease his anger before speaking again. “Donald, was it? I believe we got off on the wrong webbed-foot.” His demeanor changed and he offered Donald a smile that reminded him of the times he’d dealt with used car salesmen in the past. “How about I buy all of this old junk from you? Why, I’ll even take this run-down cabana off of your hands.” He pulled out his checkbook to show he was serious. “How does a million dollars sound?”

Donald and Panchito stared at the man in shock. “One m-m-million?!!”

José, on the other hand, was eyeing the goose a bit more skeptically. “Why would you pay a million dollars for some dusty old relics and a run-down shack?” He put one hand on his hip while looking the taller bird over suspiciously. “I doubt this collection is worth anywhere near that much. What is it you are REALLY after?”

The goose scowled slightly at the parrot’s perceptiveness and sighed. “Fine, you got me.” He slipped the checkbook back into his pocket. “For generations, my family has searched for a special book and the old bird that owned this cabana refused to let us check to see if he had it. If you find it, I’ll gladly buy it and everything else here from you. What do you say?”

“What does it look like?” Donald asked, wondering what kind of book could be special enough for someone to spend a million dollars on it.

“It is leather bound with gold in-lay,” The goose began his description, growing more enthused with his description as he went on. “Encrusted with jewels, looking as if it were forged from stardust and published by the very GODS THEMSELVES!” He flushed slightly in embarrassment when he realized the three smaller birds were staring at him. “Or, you know, something like that?”

“Weelll..we’ll go have a look.” Donald answered after giving it some thought. “Wait here.” He walked back towards the cabana to go search for the book.

Once Donald’s back was turned, José and Panchito fixed the goose with matching deadly glares that made him sweat a little from the bloodlust in their eyes.

“We will be having a conversation with you when we return.” José said in a stern tone of voice.

“Yeah, so don’t move a muscle.” Panchito warned him, one hand patting the gun on his hip in indication. “Or else.”

They turned and quickly caught up with Donald, leaving the goose frozen in place and internally panicking over what he’d just gotten himself into.

As the three walked back into the cabana, Donald began looking around while Panchito and José picked up the door that, once again, fell over. They put it back in place so they could talk privately without anyone outside overhearing them.

“So,” Donald began while looking through the various piles of junk that had yet to be sorted. “What do you guys wanna do if we find the book?”

Panchito and José joined in on the search, Panchito shrugging slightly. “Honestly, I don’t really care about the money- I’ll just go along with whatever you guys wanna do.”

“Hmm..” José gave it a bit more thought, peeking out through the blinds to see that the goose had not moved from the spot they’d left him in. “Donald..” He didn’t look at the duck in question as he spoke. “You were in that mansion before, sim?”

“Huh? Yeah, I was.” Donald responded while taking a few books off of a bookcase to check them. “Why?”

José finally closed the blinds and turned to face him, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall by the window. “Did it look nice? Well-furnished? Did it have a lot of valuable objects and exhibits inside?”

Donald nodded, tossing aside books as he searched the bookcase. “Oh yeah- big time. There were suits of armor and paintings and chandeliers that look like they had diamonds on ‘em!”

“I see.” A sly smirk began to spread over the parrot’s face as he processed this information and began to form a plan. “My friends, where would you rather live?” He asked while holding out both of his hands, raising one in the air first as if presenting an option. “In this dusty, tiny, cramped cabana, stuck paying a caretaker that screams every time he sees us?” To prove his point, he glanced towards a rustling sound where he spotted the little red bird peering out at them from behind a pile of junk, but the bird screamed and disappeared behind the pile when he saw he was being watched. “Or,” José held up his other hand, raising it a bit higher to present it in a more favorable manner. “Would you rather live in a luxurious mansion filled with valuable trinkets that we can sell at our convenience?”

“Ohhh, are we voting?” Panchito asked from between a few shelves, too busy searching to poke his head out and look at the others. “Because I vote for the second one!”

“Same here.” Donald agreed, clearing the shelf he’d been looking through and starting on the next one. “You got an idea or something?”

José peeked through the blinds again and spotted the lawyer that had given them the estate earlier now seated on a bench nearby. “Sim. Of course, it will only work if we can find that book.”

The universe, once again acting with a comedic sense of timing, gave them an answer in the form of a crash from the general vicinity of Panchito’s area followed by an “Ay caramba!” After a moment, Panchito stuck his head out from between the shelves with a big grin on his face. “Hey guuuys, you’ll never guess what I found!”

“The book?” José and Donald asked while looking at the rooster expectantly.

Panchito shrugged. “Well, it is A book that could be THE book. It’s gold with jewels and stuff, but I don’t really know what something that’s ‘forged from stardust and published by the gods themselves’ is supposed to look like.”

“Fair enough.” Donald said with a roll of his eyes and a fondly exasperated smile while he and José walked over to see it for themselves. Honestly, he didn’t know what something like that was supposed to look like, either.

When they arrived, they found a glass display case that had previously been hidden under layers of clutter and dust. In the case was a golden book encrusted with jewels, and, once they got it out of the case, it felt heavy enough to be the real deal.

“It certainly looks valuable enough.” José said after taking a moment to assess the book’s authenticity. “Though I am still not sure if such a thing is really worth a million dollars.”

“So, what are we gonna do with it?” Donald asked, looking at José since he seemed to be the one with a plan in this situation.

“We are going to sell it to that nice gentleman outside.” He began with a deceptively kind smile, holding up a hand when Donald looked like he was about to say something. “However, checks can be bounced, so we will be selling it, and the cabana, to him for something more, shall we say, tangible?”

He walked to one of the windows and pulled down the blinds just enough for the other two to have a clear view of the mansion across the street, his smile slipping into a devious smirk. As Donald and Panchito grasped the true meaning of his words, they began to smirk as well.

This was going to be fun.

Next Chapter->

Translation Notes:

Los Caballeros Malvados - The Evil Caballeros (I know, original XP)

Yo soy - I am

Espere o que aconteceu?! - Wait, what happened?!

“¡¿En serio?!” - "Seriously?!"

End Notes: *collapses on the floor* Whew! So, I got super excited when I received permission from the artists to write something based off of their awesome designs, so I kind of spent my day off writing the first chapter ^////^”

The plan for this series is that I’m gonna rewatch the show one episode at a time and do my own re-writes for them as I go. Things will change more and more as the series goes on, but I wanted to start with the first episode being VERY similar, which is why I kept a good portion of the original dialogue.

Also, side rant- I felt the need to add that conversation about what happened to Donald not actually being his fault because, honestly, that’s how I feel no matter how many times I watch the first episode. Yeah, he did let his temper get the better of him a little bit where the kid was concerned, but literally everything else was just bad luck for the poor guy! The boss was a jerk for calling him in to work when he was supposed to have the day off, the kid was a brat that refused to hold still, the firemen laughed at Donald’s misfortune and destroyed everything that the fire didn’t already take from him, and Daisy wouldn’t even LISTEN to the poor guy. (I also have a bit of a problem with Daisy’s behavior in this show, as you’ll probably tell as the episodes progress >_> I normally don’t mind Daisy, but she just rubs me the wrong way throughout this series and the first episode started it for me >.<)

I know it’s supposed to be played off and presented in a way that’s meant to show how Donald shouldn’t let his anger control him later on when he gets therapy near the end, but that felt a little bit frustrating to me to blame Donald for everything that happened that day. I really wanted to see someone like the other caballeros or Xandra tell him that it WASN’T his fault that he lost everything and that sometimes bad things can happen to good people for no good reason and offer him some much-needed comfort. Sadly, I never got that in the show, so I’m inserting it in an Evil!AU fic XP

#the three gay caballeros #three gay caballeros #the three caballeros #legend of the three caballeros #donald duck #jose carioca #panchito pistoles #donald/panchito/jose #evil!au #Los Caballeros Malvados

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theamorphousadventurer · 7 years

Text

Hitchhiking Space Fae, Part 4: The Warcry Mix

Part 4: The “Warcry Mix”

I’d just about given up on life, when I heard a distant humming growing louder. I turned to face where the sound was coming from, only to then dive back to the ground, as a group of Terrans riding hover-bikes blasted over me. Four of them passed over me, before coming to a halt a few meters away. I looked up through tear-filled eyes, as the leader stared at me from the glowing eye slits of her mask.

The Terran leading the group lowered her hood, and her mask retracted, revealing the starfield-wreathed face of Maxx. “Xandra? What are you doing here?”

I was too scared to answer. The larger of the figures turned to Maxx, “One of yours?” a gruff, feminine voice asked.

“Cargo Officer on the ship I’m taking.” She responded, dismounting her bike and approaching me. “Are you ok?”

“How...how can I be…? I’m on Terra…I’m as good as dead...” I choked, tears still streaming down my face.

She sighed, sat down next to me, and wrapped her arms around me. I tensed, expecting harm, but when none came, I slowly relaxed.

“We will keep you safe. Don’t worry.” She whispered to me, slowly stroking me behind my ears. Strangely...I believed her. Her words just felt so...nice...

I began feeling strong enough to speak again, and asked, “How do we get out of here? I...I kinda need to get back to work…”

“Good question. Node, where’s the nearest Gate?” Maxx asked her group, helping me to my feet in the process.

A small girl wearing headphones brought up a holographic map, tweaked a few settings, then chirped, “65 miles north. Bad news, the quickest way is through Phantasm territory.”

“Sh**...Alright people, you all know what that means.” There were murmurs of agreement. “Xandra, you ride with Ink. They’ll keep you safe.”

She gestured towards the heavily tattooed, tentacle-haired creature. Warily, I approached them, climbing onto the back seat of the bike. They turned to watch me, a single, gigantic, black-lensed eye staring out of a part in their veil of tentacles, and smiled. They then made a few strange shapes with their hands, clearly indicating something, but when I didn’t comprehend it, they gestured towards Maxx. “Ink is mute. They’re saying ‘Hold on tight.’” Maxx explained. Ink then gave a “thumbs-up” towards Maxx, and I did as they said, grasping the handlebars with all eight of my fingers.

We took off toward the Gate. The bikes’ engine hum was far outclassed by the wind howling in all four of my ears and whistling through my feathers. At first, I crouched low, keeping my eyes closed against the wind, but after a few minutes had passed, the sound of the bike’s slipstream had changed. It sounded...closer somehow. Curiosity getting the better of me, I opened my eyes to look. What I saw was both beautiful and unsettling. Luminescent flora wove its way in and out of towering stone ruins. Dark, ominous clouds hung overhead, sometimes engulfing the tops of the ruins. Ancient wind turbines feebly spun in the winds amongst the towers causing some of the long destroyed windows to occasionally flicker with artificial light

Was this once a city? What could have happened to make Terrans of all people, abandon it? Was there something...worse than Terrans?

My thoughts were interrupted by Node’s voice over the radio. “Gate! Up ahead!”

I leaned out slightly to see around Ink’s cloak, to see a massive pillar of light blasting emanating from a slowly revolving set of rings suspended amidst the clouds. At the base of the light pillar was a three-sided pyramid covered in pulsating runes and arcing with bolts of electrical energy. We came to a stop about a dozen meters from the base of the pyramid, and dismounted.

“That was too easy…” the larger Terran remarked, a tone of suspicion in her voice, as an equally large cannon unfolded in her hands. As if on cue, the pyramid suddenly went dark, and the beam of light retreated into the sky-ring.

Maxx let out a sigh of exasperation. “Now...Why’d ya have to say that?” She said, her face buried in one hand.

At that moment, a pool of black red liquid began collecting a few hundred meters away, and an absolutely gargantuan creature began clawing its way out of it. It stood as tall as one of the many buildings surrounding us, and its fur was as dark as the pool it climbed out of, occasionally broken up by massive, bony, armour plates. From its back grew spikes of purple crystals that crackled with unknown energy, its claws glinted like freshly polished swords, and its eyes were furnaces of malice and hate. This was a being of chaos and death, for sure. I may have pissed myself right then and there.

Node spoke first. “Ursa Phantasmus. Smaller than I thought it’d be.”

“Dibs on any oranges.” The large Terran responded, powering up her massive cannon.

“Diana, We’ll divvy the loot later. Ink, protect Xandra. NODE! Warcry mix!” Maxx shouted. Node’s face broke into a huge smile as she pulled up a holographic menu, and pressed a button. She then swung her backpack off her shoulder, and in one fluid motion, it expanded and folded, transforming from a simple data and instrumentation suite, into a bizarre cross between a Terran “boombox” and a rocket launcher. At this point, the giant beast let out an earth-shaking roar, and from the black pool at its feet, many smaller creatures of death and chaos clambered out and began charging the short span between us and them.

Then the music began. A driving beat pulsed from Node’s weapon, and Maxx turned to face oncoming horde. An ear-splitting cry of war echoed amongst the stone monoliths from Node’s speakers, and in time to the music, Maxx drew out her drone, Nightshade. Except it wasn’t a drone. What I had thought was an AI driven companion for her, transformed in her hands, into the hilt of a sword. A second cry of battle echoed out, and Maxx flourished her weapon. It ignited, a three meter cord of orange light lashing out with a loud crack.

As the music began proper, Node, Maxx, and Diana charged the horde, and began slaughtering these beasts of nightmare with the same elegance, coordination, and showmanship as a team of synchronized dancers. Node’s attacks manifested as lethal holograms depicting waveforms. Walls of light, laser sweeps, and explosive beats eviscerated her opponents. It seemed her music was her enemy’s downfall. Maxx moved like a orange tornado, her whip cleaving dozens of her opponents in twain, as Maxx laughed. Diana pulverized her foes either with her oversized cannon, or simply with her giant fists. Any beasts that managed to get past them were quickly slain by Ink’s magics; rivers of color flowing off her hands, that transformed into serpents, thorned-vines, and skeletal warriors.

It was...beautiful, in a strange way. These Terrans seemed to treat fighting like my people treated dance, and...as I listened to Node’s music, something stirred within me. My people had only been pacifistic for a few hundred solar cycles, and I felt, what I can only describe as a sick thrill. It went against everything I’d been taught, but at that moment, I wanted to slay one of these beasts myself. Seizing a fallen length of pipe, I stepped forward to join the fight, only for Ink to stop me with a wall of vines. I turned to them incredulously. They shook their head, and said something I didn’t understand with their hands.

A fire still raged in my soul, but I knew better than to question a Terran’s judgement when it comes to danger. If they thought it was too dangerous, it was too dangerous. So I stood back and watched. And I’m glad I did, because what happened next was insane. Maxx, Node and Diana had reached the feet of the Ursa, and were dodging around its swiping claws, either gracefully leaping, or propelling themselves into the air with blasts of weapon fire. Maxx then shouted something, and lashed out towards Diana. Diana seized the end of the glowing rope, coiling it around the barrel of her cannon in a shower of incandescent sparks. Node took up position directly in front of the gargantuan beast, pointed the business end of her weapon squarely at the ground, and let loose a holographic wall of sound that propelled Maxx upward and around the Phantasm’s neck. As soon as Maxx made one full rotation, Diana fired her cannon, and the recoil pulled the whip-cord tight. Too tight for the Ursa’s skin to handle. There was a ground-shaking cry of pain as the burning cord sliced through the monster’s flesh, before an equally loud squelch, as the Ursa’s head vacated its shoulders. The monster’s head bounced once before its whole body disintegrated, and…several dozen glowing objects spewed out of it.

With the threats gone, the gateway reactivated (startling me, of course). The three victorious monster slayers regrouped with us, and began passing around the strange, glowing objects I’d seen pop out of the monster’s body.

Diana seemed to covet one of the objects. It glowed a very enticing golden orange. Guess that’s what she meant by “dibs on orange.” Strangely though, despite her covetous nature, after watching Ink sign something to her, she laughed, then handed the object to me.

“Wait...what? I...I don’t understand...”

Still laughing, she said, “Keep it. You need it rookie. Ink says you got spirit. Only time’ll tell if you have skill.”

I took the object in my hands. It appeared to be a metal rod wrapped in leather, no longer than my forearm, but as I examined it, I discovered a catch hidden amongst the wrapping. I released it, and was slightly taken aback when it sprung open into a two-handed staff. I wasn’t sure why, but it felt...right, in my hands, and the longer I held it, the more my thoughts drifted to the dances of my people. Many of our dances used ribbons attached to poles, and in a sudden burst of confidence, I stepped off the Gateway’s plinth to give myself some space and lead into a routine from my childhood, twirling the staff around my body with half-remembered grace, before bringing one end down hard on the pavement. A concussive blast almost knocked me off my feet, and a building that I’d been facing began to crumble, collapsing into a giant pile of rubble.

Everything was still, silent. Nervously, I turned to look at Maxx. Her face, along with everyone else’s, wore a look of shock.

“How did you do that?” Diana asked. I looked from her, to the smoking pile of rubble in front of me, to the staff in my hands, then back to the group.

“I...I don’t know…”

Read Part 1: Part 1

Read Part 2: Part 2

Read Part 3: Part 3

Author’s notes: This chapter was a little weird for me, because as I wrote it, I started to veer away from the “Humans are Weird” thing and I started fleshing out Xandra’s character a bit more. Yes, for now, she’s still a cowardly xenophobe, but I realized, this is becoming a story of adaptation, of expansion of thought. Right now, she’s still scared of Terrans, but I want her to move beyond that. To evolve. And in doing so, the rest of the cast can play off this fact too.

Additionally, I envision the “Warcry Mix” as a combination of many musical scores and songs. It starts out with the opening of Immigrant’s Song from Led Zepplin, followed up by Wonder Woman’s theme by Tina Guo, before evolving into something akin to the RWBY soundtrack. Giant monsters, collapsible/variable weapons, magic...Yeah, I drew HEAVILY from RWBY for this sequence.

#humans are weird #humans are space fae #humans are space orcs #what even are humans #space fae

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