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incidentreport31 · 3 years

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Episode 2 - Secure TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts.

Recorder clicks on.

SFX of a mug being set down on a counter. Water pouring and then the clink of a spoon against ceramic. Then, an abrupt almost dropping of said mug as Zach begins to speak.

ZACH:

Tea? Really?

ARCHIVIST:

(stammering)Oh, hi, hello, can… can I help you…?

(beat)

ZACH:

You can help yourself by getting some coffee. Tea isn’t gonna do anything for you, you know. It won’t keep you going for the whole day. You’ve gotta get that good ole cup of joe to start your morning.

ARCHIVIST:

I’m… sorry?

ZACH:

You can’t tell me that you actually like that garbage, right? I mean what kind are you even making?

[shuffle as he grabs the box off the counter]

English Breakfast? Really? English? Compensating for being in the US are we?

ARCHIVIST:

(defensive for no reason beknown to the listener but painfully known to them) I happen to like it, actually but- no actually wait a minute, who are you? Do you work here?

ZACH:

(also defensive for previously explained reason) Yeah, I do. Do you?

ARCHIVIST:

Yes, indeed I do. I’m actually the head archivist. May I ask what in the hell you might do around here? Other than, of course, critique drink choices?

ZACH:

Oh. (beat) Oh you- (another beat) You’re the archivist?

ARCHIVIST:

(huffing out a breath) Quite right. Once again. What the hell do you do here?

ZACH:

Oh I’m Zach. Zach Baker. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were… my… boss.

ARCHIVIST:

(hurried and with false confidence) Yes, of course. I’m Val West… your boss. Which means that I’m in charge here. Which then means you should… watch yourself in bothering me about these small things. Yes.

ZACH: It’s not my fault you have the worst taste in drinks-

ARCHIVIST:

(coughs to cut him off)

ZACH:

Well, you do. I’m just saying, okay? And- hold on, are you recording this?

ARCHIVIST: Hmm? Oh, yes I suppose I am.

ZACH:

Where’d that thing come from anyway? It looks ancient.

ARCHIVIST:

It is, from what I can tell. But Mr. Banks has instructed me to record all of my (said with distaste because the archivist is a dick to account givers) “little stories” into it. Apparently, silent reading does not do much in the way of furthering the plot of a story told in an audio format.

ZACH: Yeah, I guess he has a point there.

ARCHIVIST:

Fair enough… Either way, I'm not the biggest fan of the old girl, but she hasn’t broken down on me so far, so that counts for something I reckon. Not that there aren’t better ways of recording things, but I digress.

(a beat)

But, I guess I’ve just gotten in the habit of turning it on when it seems like I’m about to do something noteworthy that might further the plot, you know?

ZACH: Like… making tea.

ARCHIVIST:

Yes, yes, I believe you’ve already expressed your opinions on tea, but some of us prefer it to that… grimy coffee that you seem so attached to.

ZACH:

(flustered and compensating, sputtering his words out) Well you can defend your tea all you want, but I am still objectively correct and everyone else definitely agrees with me too, even if the coffee pot goes missing once a week-

ARCHIVIST:

The coffee pot what?

ZACH:

(feeling like he shouldn’t have said that as it seems to have hurt his argument, starting slow and getting increasingly heated) I… it goes missing sometimes… and I haven’t figured out who keeps taking it yet, but trust me I will, and anyways in the meantime, it’s a bit inconsiderate of you to continue trash talking my drink choice-

Recorder clicks off.

Recorder clicks on.

ARCHIVIST:

God, I had to cut that conversation off… It was getting quite past the point of relevance to anyone listening. Pointless debate. So… back to what I was hired on to do, I suppose. (clearing their throat) For the consideration of Boston College: Jordyn Mackenzie’s encounter with an odd child in her parents’ neighborhood, and her request to be exempt from her midterms. No date, once again. [mutters] I am starting to question my predecessor’s competency when it came to filing these out. Her story begins:

[ACCOUNT START]

Every Wednesday night, I make the drive over to my parents’ house to have dinner. When I first moved into my dorm, I had stubbornly been forced into these dinners, as if they were ripping away my freedom so shortly after I had received it. As time went on, however, those Wednesday night dinners have become what I look forward to most. After a while, the glamour of college began to wear off, and I got homesick easily, even if my mother and I didn’t always see eye-to-eye. There’s something so comforting about being able to step away from the bustling atmosphere of campus, and go somewhere quiet, and familiar. We’ve lived in that house almost all my life, and even with all of the bad memories attached to it, I can’t help but think of all the good ones. Perhaps that’s because I always try to see the glass as half full.

(beat)

It’s not just the house I enjoy. My parents live in a small gated community, just about twenty minutes away from school. The houses are all fairly new, with that white picket fence quality to them. In spite of that, each house has its own personality and charm to it. My favorite is probably this blue one with rabbit figurines out front. There’s a park in the neighborhood, too. Not a fancy one, just some monkey bars, a couple of slides, and a grassy field, but it’s great for picnics. Though, in all my time living there, I’ve hardly seen any other children there. I just assumed there weren’t many young kids in the neighborhood.

(another beat)

Thus, you can imagine my surprise when I met this particular child. Now, after dinner each night, I go out on a walk around the neighborhood. It’s small enough to walk the whole span of it in less than half an hour. My father used to come with me, but he’s been having troubles with his knee, so now I walk alone. The weather this time of year is near perfect for a walk—cold enough for it to kiss your face and wake you up, but not enough to freeze to death.

ARCHIVIST:

(mutters) Good lord, spare me the bad poetry. Would love to get to the actual point soon. Anyways.

[ACCOUNT]

It was on one of these walks that I first encountered the kid.

ARCHIVIST:

(mutters) Thank you.

[ACCOUNT]

As I previously stated, there aren’t many kids in the neighborhood, so it took me by surprise to see a new face. He looked to be about seven or eight, with unkempt, dirty blond hair, and blue eyes that were almost unnaturally large on his face. He wore a basic white t-shirt and jean shorts, and sure, I liked the weather, but a kid dressed like that must have been freezing, right? He did not shiver, however, hardly even emoted. Just walked right down the center of the road, staring dead ahead, carrying a bright orange toy gun.

(beat)

Of course, I worried for the kid. Where were his parents? Why was he out so late by himself?

I called out to him. He looked up at me with a surprised look, as if he was shocked to see me actually speaking to him. I asked him what his name was, but he didn’t answer. I tried to ask him lots of things—where his house was, why he was out so late, if he needed help or if his parents were nearby. He wouldn’t respond to anything I said. Just stood there and stared intensely into my eyes. I have to admit, it made me a bit squeamish. Eventually, I just walked away, hoping that whoever was responsible for the kid knew where he was, and that he would make it home safely. I tried not to think about it too much after that. The following week, when I went to dinner, I didn’t go on a walk. My parents had decided they wanted to play a board game, and I was more than happy to comply. The event with the kid had left me feeling unsettled, so I was a bit wary of going on a walk regardless. After another week, however, I had finally gotten over it. I figured it was just one weird kid, nothing more. I mean, looking back, I couldn’t blame him for being scared to talk to a complete stranger. I mean I wasn’t even certain looking back that the expression on his face was all that disturbing. It likely had just been fear, right? Surely, his parents knew where he was, and he was simply out for a post-supper stroll like I was. It was a fairly safe neighborhood, after all. So, the next time I went to my parent’s house for dinner, I went on another walk. There was a slight breeze, but my body heats up as fast as an oven with the slightest bit of exercise, so I welcomed the blasts of cold on my skin. The leaves in the trees rustled, and combined with the sound of windchimes, it was like a symphony of nature’s design.

ARCHIVIST: dropping down papers

(frustrated) I thought I said no more poetic imagery, christ- oh good it ends.

[ACCOUNT]

It was lovely, up until it wasn’t. I saw the kid again, still standing in the middle of the road. He was wearing the exact same outfit as before, the shorts even having the exact same grass stains they did before. It was uncanny, sure, but I figured it was just a coincidence. This time, I harbored far less discomfort or worry. It was just a kid. What could he do to me?

(beat)

A lot, turns out. (stumbling through the sentence) A lot meaning… scare me, but you know what I mean.

Before I even opened my mouth, I realized he was staring dead at me. As if his doll-like eyes were drilling holes into my skull. The weight of being watched hit me like a freight train, but I tried my best to shake it off. I apologized to him for being so invasive the last time we met. Again, he didn’t answer, just continued staring. I wasn’t quite sure what to say after that. It would be hypocritical if I began asking him questions again, immediately after I had apologized for doing exactly that.

ARCHIVIST:

Not sure a child understands what hypocrisy is, but, if it lets you keep the moral high ground, Ms. Mackenzie.

[ACCOUNT]

I didn’t like the way he looked at me, though. My desperate need to fill the silence was an instinct of some kind. As I stood there, teetering back and forth on my heels as I tried to think of what to do next, something strange happened. The kid, still staring at me, slowly began to raise his arm. In his hand was the same toy gun as before. He raised the toy gun until it was pointing directly at my head. Well, what the hell was I supposed to do with that? I knew it wouldn’t actually hurt me if he fired it, yet I still found myself frozen in place.

That was when the car, driving far too fast for a neighborhood, came barreling around the corner. The kid didn’t move. Didn’t even look to see the car coming. My feet lept to action before I processed what I was doing. I ran out into the middle of the street and tackled the kid. We stumbled towards the sidewalk on the other side as I dragged him. The momentum knocked us to the ground. Pain surged through my shoulder and my hip, but I hardly processed it until later, when I saw the large bruises that had formed. We had just barely managed to clear the car’s path. The driver didn’t even stop to apologize, or check to see if we were okay. Didn’t even slow down. I didn’t get a good look at the driver’s face, or the license plate. All I remember is that the car was black and might have been a Honda. Wherever they are, I hope karma did a good deal on them for their reckless driving.

Before I could focus on my injuries, I checked to make sure the kid was okay. Other than a scrape on his knee, he appeared to be fine, but it was hard to say. Even after all of that, his expression still hadn’t changed. For some reason, this made me indescribably angry. How could you almost get hit by a car and then still act completely neutral? Regardless,if he was in any pain, there was no way I could tell. I offered to take him back to my place and clean up his knee, but he shook his head. I noticed he was staring intently over my shoulder. When I turned around, I realized his toy gun had been destroyed. Orange and yellow plastic bits covered the street, almost like broken glass. He stood up and walked towards the remains. As he picked up what used to be the trigger, his face was still blank, but if I looked closely enough, I could have sworn I saw something adjacent to sadness. Disappointment, perhaps. For the first time since I had met him, he opened his mouth, and—god, I wish I had stuck around long enough to learn more. I wish I had pressed harder, since I now knew he was actually capable of speech. Hearing what he said next chilled me, though. I can’t quite say why. All I know is that after he spoke, I got up and ran back to my house, never wanting to see that kid again. Do you want to know what he said? The only words I ever heard him speak? It was this, with no further details or elaboration: “He’s not going to be happy about this.”

Paper shuffling.

ARCHIVIST:

And that seems to be where it ends. Jordyn gave us the name of the neighborhood this took place in, as well as the exact street the incident happened. The problem is, as she stated, it’s a gated community, and none of our staff had a code to get in. It says here in an attached slip of paper labeled: Incident Report, (sighs) date not given, that they contacted the head of the community in an attempt to gain access, but the head of the home-owner’s association said to, quote, “shove it in a place the sun doesn't shine, you conspiracy theory creeps.” Luca writes here that there was an issue involving a cup of… tea… thrown at their face… what a waste.(mutters) Rich people.

Because of this, there’s not much we can do. Without a stated name for the kid, or any known relatives, it’s hard to try to track this kid down. Frankly, I don’t think Jordyn’s story is all that concerning, other than the incident with the car, which we also could not find due to her vague description.

(beat)

It’s likely the child she met was simply shy, or possibly processed his emotions in a different way than she was used to. Her university certainly agreed with me, since it seems she was not given her requested time off. Thus, as far as I can tell, this is another instance of someone making something deeper than it needs to be and then trying to get an extra vacation. I can’t blame her, I suppose, since nearly seeing a kid get run over would certainly be upsetting. It does appear that Oliver, our resident psychological consultant, did recommend her a therapist, but she never went.

(beat)

Trust me, Jordyn, I would love to take a break as well, but post-grad school is expensive, and I doubt Mr. Banks would give me paid time off even if something worthwhile were to happen. It’s the world we live in, I suppose. Gotta pay off the student loans one way or another. (sigh)

End recording.

Recorder click off.

CREDITS:

Incident Report Number 31 is a podcast made by Three-Eyed Frog Presents. This episode, “Secure,” was written, directed, and produced by Val West and Luka Miller with sound design by Luka Miller. This episode featured Val West as the Archivist and Kaleb Piper as Zach Baker. Music is produced by Luka Miller. To keep up with the show and find transcripts, make sure to follow us on our Twitter at @IR31Pod and on tumblr at @IncidentReport31. To contact us with any questions or concerns, feel free to email us at [email protected]. Thanks so much for listening!

#ir31pod transcripts

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bowenandjohnson · 4 years

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Elite Season 3 Theories Masterpost

Since it was announced this morning that Elite season 3 will be released on Netflix on March 13, along with a short teaser and a lot of promotional photos, I thought I would put them all together in a large post of my predictions for this season. If you don’t want to be spoiled, I’m putting them all under the cut!

Season Theme

Under the date announcement teaser trailer, one of the Netflix youtube accounts listed a new synopsis of the upcoming season--which claims that another one of our beloved Las Encinas students will die, and yet another police investigation ensues. The last two lines also talk about “the future” and “the past.” Other BTS spoilers have indicated that the students will also graduate from Las Encinas, most likely at the end of the season, and for them to move on peacefully, most of them will have to rectify their mistakes from the past 16 episodes. Possible character redemption definitely seems possible, especially for Lu, Valerio, Ander, Cayetana, and others!

Other Plot Points:

The Polo of it All

It appears from this photo that the murder case of Marina Nunier Osuna goes to some type of judicial court. It appears (at least to me) that Carla and Polo are possibly giving their own testimonies of that night that Marina died. Unfortunately, since it’s a he said-she said situation without the murder weapon, Polo will probably be acquitted of all charges for the time being. Certainly helps that he’s a wealthy, white teenager too.

Even if Polo gets acquitted of all charges in Marina’s death for the time being, it appears that his time at Las Encinas won’t get any easier, judging from this photo where he’s seen choking Valerio. Rebeca looks like she’s having a hell of a time trying to get Polo to let go. Other observations that I have is that Polo looks severely unkempt and rougher than usual--probably another sign of his worsening mental state.

Once Polo gets acquitted, I would assume that Guzman then reaches out to Polo to reconnect. He’s offering him a beer, and it looks like they’re playing video games in Guzman’s room again. However, I believe that Guzman has ulterior motives for doing this. He’s going to team up with other students, including Samuel, to find the trophy, and finally get Polo nailed for the death of his sister once and for all.

A Possible Timeline of Events

Flashforwards: Graduation from Las Encinas (and the Spanish Scooby Gang’s Master Plan)

It for sure looks like this is part of the graduation from Las Encinas. The hallways are decorated, and in the lower right-hand corner by Valerio, it looks like blue and aqua balloons are scattered somewhere. This is where I also became sure that Samuel, Valerio, and Rebeca are for sure going to help Guzman take down Polo and possibly Cayetana for good. Spanish Scooby Gang assemble!

It makes sense that Samuel would help Guzman, as he still feels an intimate connection to his sister, and how he genuinely loved her in some way. While thinking of possible reasons of why Rebeca and Valerio would aid Guzman in his quest, I again circled back to the theme of redemption. Rebe feels guilty that her mother (and by extension, herself) almost got Samuel killed for involving him in the family business. Valerio feels guilty for the fact that he recorded Nadia and Guzman having sex in the locker room. Helping take down a murderer is certainly on the way for redemption for Valerio, and to get Samuel and Rebeca talking again.

They just gotta get a hold of that missing trophy!

Extended Scooby Gang

The fact that we see Nadia and Rebeca smiling and standing with Lu, who has tormented them in the past, is a clear sign of the season’s theme of looking towards the future, letting go of the past, and ultimately redemption. If Lu helps the Scooby Gang (which would include Nadia and Rebe) take down a murderer to try and absolve her past sins at Las Encinas, it would show a true sign of growth for the character. However, I would like to see her problematic behavior addressed and dealt with before she is completely forgiven. Show, don't tell, how the character has evolved over the course of the season.

Flashforwards: Graduation Party at the Club

After the class graduates, it makes sense that the gang would party together one last time at the club. From this photo, we can see that Omar, Ander, Nadia, Guzman, Rebeca, Cayetana, Valerio, Lu, Samuel, and Carla will all be present at some point. Whatever or whoever they’re looking at offscreen in this photo doesn’t appear welcome. Polo perhaps?

Somebody’s Dying Tonight/The Party is Definitely Over Now

From this photo, it is made clear that someone is not making it out alive of Elite season 3, and the mystery of who it is and why will probably slowly unravel across these next eight episodes. If you zoom in closely on Guzman’s hands, you can see blood on them, which factors into my “who’s dying?” list.

1. Ander - Ander isn’t shown in this photo, which made me immediately suspicious. At the end of season 2, Guzman angrily said to him that he hopes Ander falls and cracks his head open on the ground. Possible foreshadowing for his death? Due to his sorrowful look and his bloody hands, he may regret those words. If Ander dies, it would also make sense to why Omar and Nadia are not present in these photos. Omar is Ander’s boyfriend, and Nadia might be accompanying both of them to the hospital where he’ll be pronounced dead. I do find it hard to believe though that they would fridge a gay man, and one who is a part of the fan-favorite ship of the show. Who knows, however?

2. Lu - Lu’s been a tough character for me to get behind throughout the show’s run. While I do like Danna Paola’s portrayal of her, I certainly don’t condone her actions of bullying, islamophobia, racism, or incest in any form. Getting back on track, she also isn’t seen in this photo, and neither is Valerio, her brother. Lu’s death would also explain Carla’s sorrowful expression, as they used to be best friends. Guzman was also one of her closest friends and her boyfriend at one point, so they once had a deep connection. Omar was also a new friend of Lu’s, so it’s possible that he might have accompanied her to the hospital. Lu’s death might also explain Samuel’s, Rebeca’s, and Cayetana’s look of indifference, as she bullied them all at points in the last two seasons, and their relationships with her were often contentious. Lu’s death may be one way to ultimately redeem the character also.

3. Nadia - As stated before, Nadia is also not shown in this photo, which is surprising as in the other club photo, she is seen standing very closely next to Guzman. She is Guzman’s primary love interest in the show, so that is also why he looks so sad, and the blood on his hands might be from an attempt to keep her alive until an ambulance came. Although if she was truly in peril, I believe that Omar, Rebeca, and Guzman (maybe even Samuel!) would probably go with her to the hospital. However, anything’s possible.

4. Yeray/Malick - We haven’t seen the new kids in any photos from the party so far. Therefore, they could also die. RIP.

Despite Guzman having blood on his hands, I don’t think he’s the murderer. Too big of a spoiler to put in promotional materials. Next.

Love Is in the Air

Guzman/Nadia

Considering what happened in season 2 for these two, where they were filmed having sex and then publicly shamed at school, I’ll consider it a win if they’re standing closely together in a promo picture. I believe that these two will eventually find their way back to each other, and that they’re meant to be. They might spend the season mostly apart, but considering that a magazine also leaked these candids of the two actors kissing, hugging, and talking in these outfits, Guznadia is definitely endgame in some shape or form.

Lu/Valerio/Rebeca/Samuel

Since Valerio ended his incestuous relationship with Lu last season in the finale, it would make sense that he would try to move on with a new girl. And who better than Rebeca, who he’s already kissed at the Back-to-School party? If he makes some kind of play for Rebeca, it might make Samuel jealous and admit some feelings towards Rebe--considering the magazine also leaked candids of Samu and Rebe kissing outside of school in their uniforms.

However, considering Valerio’s “connection” with Lu, he may have a hard time moving on for good, as seen in the first picture. In my opinion, the picture of Lu/Valerio only serves to further my #LuDies theory. A sweet forehead kiss between siblings/former lovers at the grad party? Spells one word: doom.

Samuel/Carla/Yeray

Samucarla has become a fan-favorite ship for many in the Elite fandom. So seeing this picture of Yeray (played by Sergio Momo) with his arms around Carla may hurt some people’s feelings. It is clear that at some point in this season, Samuel does kiss Rebe, however in the magazine spread of Elite candids, Samuel and Carla were seen talking at the grad party, and Carla had her hand on Samu’s face. Will the two try to move on from another, but eventually pulled back together? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Omar/Ander

Fan-favorites “Omander” have no solo promotional pictures so far, but both were glimpsed in the party photo. Their storylines this season may be very spoilery and integral to the plot, which is why they weren’t shown as much.

Polo/Cayetana

Like Omander, the two were in promo shots, but never seen together. This also hints at the two’s dynamic being super important to season 3, considering Polo is a murderer and Caye is now his accomplice in covering up his crime.

These are just my theories for the upcoming season based on what is available to us right now, and I will certainly update them as more material comes out! Feel free to let me know your own thoughts, and make sure to watch season 3 when it comes out March 13th on Netflix!

#elite netflix #elite s3 #polo benavent #guzman nunier #lu montesinos #nadia shanaa #guznadia #samucarla #omander #elite spoilers #long post #there are two many characters to tag i'm sorry

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papermoonloveslucy · 4 years

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THE BIG STREET

August 13, 1942

Producer: Damon Runyon

Director: Irving Reis

Screenplay: Leonard Spigelgass, based on the short story “Little Pinks” by Damon Runyon, first published in Collier’s magazine.

Dance Staging: Chester Hale

Gowns: Renie

Miss Ball’s Dancing Costume: Freddy Wittop

Miss Ball’s Make-Up: Perc Westmore

The film is sometimes referred to as Damon Runyon’s The Big Street.

The film premiered in New York City at the RKO Palace on August 13, 1942. That same day Disney’s long-awaited Bambi opened at Radio City Music Hall. At the Capitol, Orson Welles’ The Magnificent Ambersons, also starring Agnes Moorehead and Gil Perkins, continued its run. Nearby, at the Albee, a second-run cinema, Top Hat (1935) starring Ginger Rogers and Lucille Ball was playing. The Big Street opened nationally September 4, 1942.

“Love is something that gets you one room, two chins, and three kids.” ~ Gloria Lyons (Lucille Ball)

PRINCIPAL CAST

Lucille Ball (Gloria Lyons aka ‘Her Highness’) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Gloria’s singing voice was provided by Martha Mears, who also did Ball’s singing in DuBarry Was a Lady (1944).

Henry Fonda (Augustus Pinkerton II aka ‘Little Pinks’) first worked with Lucille Ball in the 1935 film I Dream Too Much. When Lucille Ball first got to Hollywood, the two actually briefly dated. They collaborated on the TV special “The Good Years” (1962) and the film Yours, Mine and Ours (1968). During the 1970s, Fonda and Ball often turned up on the same awards and tribute shows. Fonda was nominated for three Oscars, winning in 1982 for On Golden Pond. He also won an honorary Oscar in 1981. Fonda died in 1982 at age 77.

Barton MacLane (Case Ables) was seen in the film The Maltese Falcon (1941) but is probably best remembered for his final role, the blustery General Peterson on “I Dream of Jeannie” (1965-69).

“A fat man’s always listening to love stories, but he’s never go any to tell.” ~ Nicely Nicely Johnson

Eugene Pallette (Nicely Nicely Johnson, The Greatest Eater Alive) was seen as Friar Tuck in Robin Hood (1938) and in Mr. Smith Goes To Washington (1939).

The character of Nicely Nicely Johnson was played by Stubby Kaye, who reprised the role he played on Broadway, in the film version of Runyon’s Guys and Dolls (1955). He was so named because his usual reply to the question “How are you doing?” was typically “Nicely nicely, thank you!”

Agnes Moorehead (Violette Shumberg) was a classically trained performer who collaborated with Orson Welles on Citizen Kane (1941) and The Magnificent Ambersons (1942). She is best remembered as Samantha’s exotic mother Endora on the TV series “Bewitched” (1964-72).

Violette weighs 100 pounds, four ounces.

“She has a very large capacity for groceries.” ~ Pinks (about Violette)

Sam Levene (Horsethief) originated the role of Nathan Detroit in the Broadway stage musical of Runyon’s Guys and Dolls. Singing great Frank Sinatra played Nathan Detroit in the movie version in 1955.

Ray Collins (Professor B) also collaborated with Orson Welles on Citizen Kane (1941) and The Magnificent Ambersons (1942), along with Agnes Moorehead. He is best remembered for playing Lieutenant Tragg on “Perry Mason” from 1957 to 1965.

Marion Martin (Mimi Venus) would also be seen with Lucille Ball in Abbott and Costello in Hollywood (1945). Although she was often cast as a brassy stripper, showgirl or tough gun moll, off screen she was known to be extremely shy and retiring.

“That dame is a lump of mud!” ~Gloria (about Mimi)

William Orr (Decatur Reed) was an actor turned executive. As the head of WB Television for nine years, he was executive producer of the studio's early forays into the medium, helping to put ABC on the prime-time map with a steady staple of westerns and detective shows. In 1959 he received a Golden Globe for his contributions to television.

Vera Gordon (Mrs. Lefkowitz) emigrated with her family from Russia when she was seven years old. She became involved in the theatre and was active in silent films and early talkies. She had previously appeared with Lucille Ball in 1938′s Having Wonderful Time.

George Cleveland (Col. Venus) makes his fourth film appearance with Lucille Ball. In 1949 they also did Miss Grant Takes Richmond. He is best remembered for playing Gramps on “Lassie” (1954-57).

Ozzie Nelson (Himself) was considered the pre-eminent TV dad of the 1950s thanks to his successful family sitcom “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet” (1952-66). Before TV fame, he was a bandleader with his wife Harriet the lead singer. Nelson later appeared on several talk shows with Lucille Ball.

UNCREDITED CAST (with connections to Lucille Ball)

Baby (Gloria’s Pekingese Dog)

Louise Beavers (Ruby, Gloria’s Maid) went on to appear in three more films with Lucille Ball: DuBarry Was a Lady (1943), Lover Come Back (1946), and The Facts of Life (1960).

Charles Cane (McCarty, Holland Tunnel Policeman) also appeared with Lucille Ball in The Dark Corner (1946) and as one of the theatre patrons at “Over The Teacups” in “Ethel’s Birthday” (1954) which also featured Big Street extras Bess Flowers, James Conaty, Sam Harris, and Harold Miller.

Jack Chefe was seen as a Paris waiter in “Lucy Meets Charles Boyer” (ILL S5;E19) and played a bellhop in “Lucy and John Wayne” (ILL S5;E2) and had also appeared in five films with Lucille Ball, including playing a waiter in Forever, Darling. Of Chefe’s 358 film roles, 165 were waiters!

James Conaty (Nightclub Patron) was also seen with Lucille in I Dreamed Too Much (1935), Lured (1947), and The Long Long Trailer (1953). He was one of the theatre patrons at “Over The Teacups” in “Ethel’s Birthday” (1954) which also featured Big Street extras Bess Flowers, Charles Cane, Sam Harris, and Harold Miller.

Hans Conried (Waiter) played Harry Martin in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13), both in 1952. He also did two episodes of “The Lucy Show,” both as her music tutor Dr. Gitterman in 1963.

Pedro de Cordoba (Doctor) was also seen with Lucille Ball in Five Came Back (1939).

Helen Dickson (Florida Club Patron) had appeared with Lucille Ball in Carnival (1935) and Two Smart People (1946). She was one of the aging flapper showgirls in “Ricky Loses His Voice” (ILL S2;E9) in 1952.

Jimmy Dime (Truck Driver / Stunts) was seen with Lucille Ball in 1951′s The Magic Carpet. He did a half dozen episodes as a background players on Desilu’s “The Untouchables” (1959-61).

Eddie Dunn (Mulvaney) was also part of Ziegfeld Follies (1945) featuring Lucille Ball.

Jay Eaton (Late Night New York Nightclub Patron) did a total of nine films with Lucille Ball between 1934 and 1949, including her other Damon Runyon film Sorrowful Jones (1949).

Bess Flowers (Florida Nightclub Patron) aka 'Queen of the Extras’ made numerous uncredited background appearances on both “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy Show.” She holds the record of the most film collaborations with Lucille Ball: 17.

Karen X. Gaylord (Florida Club Patron) was also part of Ziegfeld Follies (1945) featuring Lucille Ball.

Charlie Hall (Caviar Waiter) also did Kid Millions with Lucille Ball and went on to do four more films with her until 1942.

William Halligan (Detective) was also with Lucille Ball in 1940′s You Can’t Fool Your Wife.

Art Hamburger (Joe Duffle, Eating Contest Opponent) makes his final of three screen appearances. He became an associate director. This is his only time working with Lucille Ball.

Joe Duffle is from Boston and weighs 337 and a half pounds. There is some irony that Nicely Nicely (then Violette’s) eating contest opponent is actually named Hamburger.

Mary Halsey (Showgirl) also did Seven Days Leave with Lucille Ball in 1942.

Sam Harris (Passerby on Florida Boardwalk) was in the background of a dozen Lucille Ball films, as well as being seen on “I Love Lucy,” “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” and “The Lucy Show.” He was one of the theatre patrons at “Over The Teacups” in “Ethel’s Birthday” (1954) which also featured Big Street extras Bess Flowers, Charles Cane, James Conaty, and Harold Miller.

Jack Herrick (Mindy’s Customer) was also seen with Lucille Ball in The Bowery (1933).

John Indrisano (Mug at Mindy's) was also seen with Lucille Ball in The Facts of Life (1960).

Tiny Jones (Small Friendly Neighbor) was seen with Lucille Ball in A Girl, A Guy, and a Gob (1934) and Five Came Back (1939).

Donald Kerr (Pete the Passer) appeared in eight films with Lucille Ball between 1936 and 1954.

Wilbur Mack (Florida Club Patron) appeared in three more films with Lucille Ball: Thousands Cheer (1943), Ziegfeld Follies (1945), and Lured (1947).

George Magrill (Mug at Mindy's / Stunts) appeared with Lucille Ball in ten films between 1933 and 1949.

Richard Martin also did Seven Days Leave with Lucille Ball in 1942

Tony Merlo (Mug at Mindy's) was also seen with Lucille Ball in Dance, Girl, Dance (1940) and Broadway Bill (1934).

John ‘Skins’ Miller (Truck Driver) was also with Lucille Ball in Fancy Pants (1950) and Sorrowful Jones (1949).

Harold Miller (Florida Club Patron) shares 13 film credits with Lucille Ball. He was one of the theatre patrons at “Over The Teacups” in “Ethel’s Birthday” (1954) which also featured Big Street extras Bess Flowers, Charles Cane, James Conaty, and Harold Miller. Harris would return for “Lucy and the Loving Cup” (S6;E12) as a subway strap hanger. He appeared in six episodes of “The Lucy Show,” the last one being as a party guest on “My Fair Lucy” (1965).

Bert Moorhouse (Florida Club Waiter) did nine films with Lucille Ball from 1933 to 1954.

Frank Moran (Mug at Mindy’s) makes his final of five film appearances with Lucille Ball.

George Noisome (Newsboy) also appeared with Lucille Ball in That’s Right, You’re Wrong (1939).

Barry Norton (Florida Club Patron) was also seen with Lucille Ball in Nana (1934) and Dance, Girl, Dance (1940).

Frank O’Connor (Police Captain at Holland Tunnel) did nine films with Lucille Ball from 1933 to 1946.

Gil Perkins (Mug / Stunts) was aboard the train when Lucy and Ricky headed home from California in “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5). He was seen in The Fuller Brush Girl (1950) with Lucille Ball. He made one appearance on “Here’s Lucy” (above right) in 1970.

Bob Perry (Toupee, Associate of Ables / Stunts) was also seen with Lucille Ball in Stage Door (1937) and Joy of Living (1938).

Ralph Peters (Florist) was also with Lucille Ball in Sorrowful Jones (1949).

Addison Richards (Dr. Mitchell) played the American Consul in “Lucy Goes To Mexico” (LDCH 1959) as well as three other films with Lucille Ball.

Dewey Robinson (Truck Driver) did five other films with Lucille Ball.

Shimen Ruskin (Waiter Captain at Florida Club) was previously seen with Lucille Ball in Having Wonderful Time (1938) but is best remembered as Mordcha in the film Fiddler on the Roof (1971).

Hector V. Sarno (Friendly Neighbor) was also with Lucille Ball in Muss ‘em Up (1936).

Harry Shannon (Florida Doctor) was seen with Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz in Too Many Girls (1940). He played Jim White (above center), photographer in “Men Are Messy” (ILL S1;E8) in 1951. He is probably best remembered as the father of Rose (Rosalind Russell) in Gypsy (1962).

Walter Soderling (Doctor at Mindy’s) was with Lucille Ball in Easy To Wed (1946).

Mary Stuart (Showgirl) was also seen with Lucille Ball in Seven Days Leave (1942). She is best remembered for her four decade run as Mary on “Search for Tomorrow”.

Elliott Sullivan (Tramp) was also in That’s Right, You’re Wrong (1939) and Next Time I Marry (1938) with Lucille Ball.

Harry Wilson (Fethington) did four other films with Lucille Ball between 1934 and 1950. He was also an extra on Desilu’s “Untouchables” (1959-62).

Marie Windsor (Florida Club Patron) was also in Critic’s Choice (1963) with Lucille Ball.

BIG STREET OPENING

"Loser's Lane - the sidewalk in front of Mindy's Restaurant on Broadway - is not as high-toned a trading center as Wall Street, but the brokers are a lot more colorful. Generally they prefer to put their money on a prizefight or horse race, but when the action slows, anything can happen and it usually does. Tonight, for example, the citizens of the Lane are discussing the latest contest in their usual quiet way..."

BIG STREET TRIVIA

The Big Street was a nickname for Broadway, where this movie's plot starts, and where all Runyon's stories take place. The film opens at West 50th and Broadway in New York City, with the marquee of the Capitol Theatre in the background.

Damon Runyon originally wanted to cast Charles Laughton and Carole Lombard in the lead roles, but neither one was interested in the project. The two had previously paired on White Women (1933) and They Knew What They Wanted (1940), Lombard suggested the producer consider her friend Lucille Ball and, despite pressure by RKO to hire a better-known actress, Runyon offered her the role. Unaccustomed to playing series roles, Lucille asked advice from Laughton on how to approach such a difficult part. Laughton told her not to hold back: “If you are going to play a bitch, play a bitch!”

Ball later recalled that at the time she was cast, "nothing much seemed to be happening for me at the studio. My $1000 weekly paycheck came regularly, but I was still a regular among the Bs."

Philadelphia Daily News ~ June 6, 1942

Reports that Lucille Ball sent a $25 War Bond to each of the ten girls that were fired from backing her up on “The Big Street”.

During filming, Lucy’s new husband Desi Arnaz felt so insecure about leaving Lucy and Fonda alone together that he’d often pop by the set to keep an eye on them. His paranoia so exasperated director Irving Reis that he finally banned him from the set.

This was Lucille Ball’s favorite of her nearly 80 films. She felt her performance was unjustly ignored by the Academy.

The vocals for "Who Knows?" by Harry Revel and Mort Greene, performed by Gloria in Case's Manhattan club, were provided by Martha Mears. The character later reprises the song with Ozzie Nelson and his orchestra in the Miami nightspot.

The film was re-released in 1955, at the height of Lucille Ball’s television success. Although Fonda remains first billed, Ball’s photo clearly indicates that she is the drawing card.

Damon Runyon also created the source material for the hit Broadway musical Guys and Dolls (1950), which starred Robert Alda, who went on to make several appearances on “The Lucy Show.” The two stories share the character of Nicely Nicely Johnson. When the film version was made by MGM in 1955, Lucy and Desi were also under contract to the studio. A brief clip of the film was inserted into the middle of an episode of “I Love Lucy” called “Lucy and the Dummy” (S5;E3), although the clip was removed after its initial airing. Further, when Lucille Ball first came to Hollywood, before becoming a contract player at RKO, she worked for Sam Goldwyn as one of the Goldwyn Girls. In Guys and Dolls, the Hot Box Girls are played by the Goldwyn Girls.

In 1949, Lucille Ball starred in another film based on a Damon Runyon story, Sorrowful Jones, a remake of the 1934 Shirley Temple film, Little Miss Marker.

Damon Runyon was a big fan of Lindy’s, a Manhattan restaurant famous for their cheesecake, and wrote the eatery into his books as Mindy's. The musical Guys and Dolls, based on Runyon's writings, immortalizes Lindy's in one of its songs. In “Ricky’s Contract” (ILL S4;E10), Lucy tells Fred and Ethel that Ricky took his entire band to Lindy’s to celebrate learning that he had been offered a movie contract.

In The Big Street, a sympathetic Pinks decides to take Gloria to Florida to recuperate - by pushing her wheelchair the entire way - starting with the Holland Tunnel! Although Lucy and Fonda never left Hollywood, the locations are achieved by rear projection and establishing footage.

The Holland Tunnel figures into “I Love Lucy,” not once - but twice. In “The Marriage License” (ILL S ), after finding out that her marriage license may be invalid, Lucy goes on a twelve hour walk to East Orange, New Jersey. “How I ever got through the Holland Tunnel, I don’t know.”

The Holland Tunnel will be mentioned again three years later in “Lucy Learns to Drive” (ILL S4;E11). Reportedly, she tried to make a u-turn in the Holland Tunnel resulting in traffic being tied up to East Orange, New Jersey.

Action is also set in Miami Beach, Florida. Pinks and Gloria hitchhike there to visit with Nicely Nicely and Violette who are operating a night spot there.

In “Off To Florida” (ILL S6;E6), Lucy and Ethel also hitchhike to Miami Beach Florida after being left on the side of the road by their ride share, a suspected hatchet murderess. They arrive at the North Miami train station covered in chicken feathers from riding in the back of a poultry truck.

Doting Pinks has a pet name for haughty Gloria: 'Your Highness'. In Florida, her friends conspire to get people to come and hear her sing by fibbing that she is the Princess of Corolia, a fictional place.

In “The Publicity Agent” (ILL S1;E31), Lucy conspires to get Ricky more publicity by pretending to be a fawning fan of royal blood: ‘The Maharincess of Franistan’!

FAST FORWARD!

On a 1971 episode of “The Dick Cavett Show" with guests Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, and Lucie Arnaz, Lucie compliments her mother's dramatic performance in the film.

The film is referenced in the television film Lucy & Desi: Before the Laughter (1991)

A poster for the film is on Lucy’s dressing room wall in Lucy, a 2003 TV movie.

The Big Street turns up in the TV listings in the low budget film Hollywood Mouth (2008) starring Joe Bologna.

A clip from the film is featured in a montage during “AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to Henry Fonda” a 1978 special attended by Lucille Ball.

Henry Fonda: The Man and His Movies (1982) contains dressing room and dance floor scenes with Lucille Ball.

The Emmy-winning documentary Lucy and Desi: A Home Movie (1993) features a brief clip from the movie.

When Cher is TCM Guest Programmer in 2011, she selects The Big Street as one of her films to be aired.

In December 1948, Lucille Ball reprised her role on radio with John Garfield taking the role of Pinks.

The Big Street on VHS.

The Big Street is available on DVD from Warner Home Video. It is also part of the Lucille Ball Collection DVD, which also includes Dance, Girl, Dance, DuBarry Was A Lady, Critic’s Choice, and Mame.

#The Big Street #lucille ball

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Marcus Crigler on Improving Businesses and Profitability

https://www.jayconner.com/marcus-crigler-on-improving-businesses-and-profitability/ Jay Conner (00:07): Well, welcome to another episode of Real Estate investing with Jay Conner. I'm Jay Conner, the private money authority. Your host, and a special welcome to you. If this is your first time to be tuning in to the show, we talk about all things real estate investing here. And if you've been tuning in over the last year and a half or so, you know I've had some amazing guests here on the show and today is no different. But before I introduce you to my special guest, this is going to tell you how to save a bunch of money on your taxes and how to increase your cashflow in your business, which I know you're interested in. I've got a free online class that will plug you in to getting funding for your deals. Regardless of what your mortgage broker, your hard money lender, or any of your other funding sources will tell you. Jay Conner (00:57): So if you're interested in getting more money to fund your real estate deals, I'm going to reveal to you the five easy steps as to how you can get funding. So when I started out in 2003 I was relying on the local banks to fund my deals. And then in 2009 I got cut off with no notice and I was introduced to this wonderful world of private money and I haven't missed out on a deal since for not having the funding. So head on over after the show to www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast. That's JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast. I'm so excited to have as my guest on today's show, my good friend and fellow mastermind member, Mr. Marcus Crigler. Before I bring Marcus on, let me tell you a little bit about him. Jay Conner (01:50): So after developing relationships with some of the biggest leaders in the United States in real estate investing, Marcus began to notice something that was rather problematic. And it was a trend in many of the real estate investing portfolios. And that was accounting and taxes. Our favorite subjects, right? We're being approached reactively. Listen carefully. Reactively instead of proactively. So Marcus said it out as his mission in the firm where he's at. Duckett ladd is the name of their company. So he set out on a mission. So using his firm's extensive experience in real estate as the platform. And by the way, these people, Marcus and his partners, he's a partner in the firm. They specialize in working directly with real estate investors. So he and the team have developed a very, very strategic approach to increasing cash flow. And as I said, reducing tax liability for their clients. And that's representing over $500 million in assets. So they've got a very partner focused approached to help their real estate investing clients make quicker, more accurate financial decisions. So the business owners, CEOs, what have you, can spend their time doing what they're most passionate about. And of course, as you all have heard me teach and coach, I say to automate the business, do what you're passionate about, dictate, delegate everything else. So with that, Marcus, welcome to the show, my friend. Marcus Crigler (03:32): Hey Jay! I appreciate you having me. I've been able to listen to the show several times and just getting to know you over the past couple of years, it's just been an honor to meet such a guy like you. It's been a blessing. Jay Conner (03:43): Well, same here man. I love your heart. I love you have a servant's heart. I believe that birds of the same feather flock together. So that's why we hit it off right after meeting each other a couple of years ago. And of course, as I mentioned, we're in a mastermind together and get to see each other four times a year. But first let's start with this, Marcus. How is it that you're qualified to talk about what you're going to be talking about on today's show? Marcus Crigler (04:09): Yeah, that's a great question. So first and foremost, I'm a CPA and that just means I went through and studied really hard and passed the test. That's pretty much what that means. But more than that. And the thing that probably qualifies me more than passing a test is what I've done to study this industry. And study how people in this industry can not only save money in taxes but save a generic cashflow in their business and become more profitable. And so I get the luxury and I say luxury and I mean luxury of working with some great, great real estate investors. And so I kind of get a cheat sheet, if you will, to see what are the really, really solid real estate investors doing it. And how can I help real estate investors all over the country, you know, take in some of those concepts and really grow their portfolio and grow their business with that knowledge. Jay Conner (05:02): Well, you know, one thing that really stood out to me about you, Marcus, is when we first got to know each other. Is you and your partners have got a very, very unique approach and perspective when it comes to how you view your real estate investing clients. And really what the relationship should look like and what your relationship looks like with your clients. So, you know, most people that you know are using a CPA or an accountant, most of the time it's, you see them one time a year, you're doing the tax return, et cetera. So what is it about you and your partners that is so different from the traditional relationship that a CPA would have with their real estate investing client? Marcus Crigler (05:58): Yeah, it's a great question. So one of the things that, when we set out to do something a little different in the CPA profession, we're all younger guys and you know, we all have kind of a mission behind us. And when we set out to kind of make a change in this industry, one of the changes we wanted to make was the ability in the common nature, I guess, for our business owners to come to us and ask us questions about how to make their business better, how to make their business stronger, not only saving taxes. We can do that and, and most CPAs that know the industry can help you in that realm. But where we differ a little bit and where I think we have a little bit of a better opportunity to serve is that we don't care just about how much money you're saving in taxes, but we want you to make more money as an individual, as a business. Marcus Crigler (06:46): And so we want to see you at a minimum quarterly. And go over your books, make sure they're correct, make sure you're able to make decisions on those books or records that you have. Because if you're not, if you're not basing decisions in your business, off of data, it's just simply a guess. And if you're guessing at your business, eventually it's going to hurt you. You may be able to get by with it for so long. Once you get to a size and business where you are, you're a full time in this industry. Having somebody with a financial background that can analyze your books and give you an idea of, Hey, this is what's going right in your business and this, this isn't, you know, this is really, you're struggling here. Either need to focus on this a little bit more, maybe drop, maybe this is a piece of your business that you need to focus on. Marcus Crigler (07:30): And so those are the kinds of conversations that I'm having on a daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly basis. As a matter of fact, just yesterday I spent a full eight hours with a group in setting up a plan for their 2020 goals and how to get them, how to achieve them. Not only set, you know, everybody goes and sets goals. You can set these big enormous goals and you're never going to hit them. What we look at doing is setting these goals, but then backing into, okay, strategically, how can we actually manage to hit these things? And now we can hold them accountable to those goals throughout the entire year. So that's just a completely different relationship than just going in and seeing your tax guy once a year and hoping that, you know, at the end of the year you don't have a big tax bill or you know, finding out at the end of the year. Oh wow. I didn't make any money. Jay Conner (08:18): It sounds like part of your relationship is being an accountability partner. Marcus Crigler (08:24): It absolutely is. Yeah. I, you know, it's funny, you know, we call it sometimes, we call it CFO, fractional CFO type work. Almost every single client that we have is on some sort of fractional CFO type level. But you know, and the reality is, some of it is being a psychologist. Some of it's being a coach. Some of it's being kind of a mediator between partners. All of those things kind of play in because we're so hands on business and we allow the business owner to have a really a third party representation in their business that most businesses don't have. But they, but they really need, Jay Conner (08:59): Yeah. Well, you know, most entrepreneurs, most, not all, but most from my observation lane towards being the visionary, being the creative type and us people, I'm one of those, we really need somebody to help us have the discipline of looking at the books, looking at the numbers, looking at the balance sheet, looking at the year to date profit and loss and comparing those line items. I mean, you know, last year through the first three months we spent X number of marketing dollars in these different areas. Well, you know, is that stuff being tracked and measured and can you really measure effectively, you know, your costs to conversion, your cost of lead and really be able to see you. What are you getting a return on your money? Right? Marcus Crigler (09:52): Absolutely. Yeah, that's a great point. And you know, reviewing your books and really getting an understanding. What do they mean, what's on the balance sheet that should be important to you? What are the things that you should be looking at and analyzing? What are the things on the PNL that you should be looking at and analyzing? And what's the difference between the two? And what's the cash flow statement? And why should I look at that? Those are all the things that we talk about, but you know, you made a good point there. You know, I went through an exercise and you know, two weeks ago or something like that on a marketing. And you know, we dove into this, this company's marketing budget and where they were spending their money and it was interesting, they were in a bigger metropolitan area and they were spending all of these direct mail money in a zip codes that they were, they weren't making any money in those zip codes. Marcus Crigler (10:42): So they were just throwing bad money, good money and bad over and over and over again instead of dialing it in, using analytics to drive your decisions, not just go out and plaster, you know, direct mail everywhere. In that situation we were able to take 80% of their deals and narrow it down to half of their zip codes and now they have the decision to, okay, do I want to have the same budget for direct mail and hit those zip codes harder? What do I want to reduce my drag mail budget? Now they've got the ability to make that right decision for what they're, what they want to do. And so those are the kinds of things that we try and dive in and help our clients become better that way. Jay Conner (11:21): That's great. Now your firm, particularly you. You focus on real estate investing clients. So you probably, since you, you know, served quite a few real estate investors as clients, you have probably noticed a trend of commonalities of to where, there's just some, some common missed opportunities if you will, that real estate investors through using their local accountant. That doesn't specialize in, you know, like you all specialize. What are some of the areas or items that real estate investors could be taking advantage of that they maybe are not taking advantage of? And, or you know, errors. Marcus Crigler (12:09): Yeah, absolutely. So I'll tell you the biggest mistake that I see and the one that causes the most surprises is incorrect entity structuring. And when I say an incorrect entity structuring, that has everything to do with knowing when to have a disregarded entity. Knowing when to have an S corporation. And knowing when to have a C corporation. And know when to have a partnership. And those are all taxed a little differently. And so the IRS has different rules for all of those. So if you don't mind, I'll just kind of give a couple of quick examples of how people can use those types of entities to benefit them. Marcus Crigler (12:45): So in S Corp, and I'll just to kind of talk about the two main, which is an S Corp or partnership. So an S Corp is where you want to house your active income business. So this is a business that, you know, if you're a flipping company, that's where you house your flipping company. If you're a wholesaler, that's where you, house your wholesale. It's active. You're out actually out there, you're physically doing work or you've got a team physically doing work and you're generating income from them. Now, that's an S Corp. Now if you have rental properties, this is very, very different. This is where I see the big, big mistakes happen. If you have rental properties and you have those inside of an S corp, it could cause you a huge, huge heartache as far as hidden taxes that you don't know about. I won't go into those because they're kind of complicated and we don't have enough time on this podcast to do that. Marcus Crigler (13:37): But what I will tell you is anytime you're on a rental property, you're most likely going to want to have that into what's called a disregarded entity, which is an LLC that you own 100% yourself or in a partnership. And again, we're all speaking in generalities here cause I don't know anybody's specific situation in that kind of stuff. I got to get my disclaimers there as an accountant. Right. But, but generally speaking, you're going to want to have those rental properties in a partnership because it gives you more flexibility and it eliminates a lot of the tax traps that you've seen in S-corporation with real estate. So just by doing those two things right off the bat, that probably is going to eliminate, I'd say 50% of the mistakes that I've seen, especially hidden mistakes that I've seen that, you know, I hate to say this, but last year I had a new client come to me this year and just because they didn't follow those rules, that cost them $200,000 in additional taxes. It is just entity structure, right? Marcus Crigler (14:34): And just knowing where to put the right things in your business. And so that was not a fun conversation for me to have. And unfortunately there wasn't anything we could undo about it. But that's how important it is. Right. So other things that I see quite often, you know, we talk about this QBI deduction and if you've been an entrepreneur, and over the last year you've probably heard of that. That came in with a new tax code changes. Well, once you reach a certain threshold and get on and go into the details too much here, but once you reach a certain threshold, you have to pay out salaries in your business in order to maximize that QBI deduction, which is 20% deduction for you of all your income. So that's a huge deal. But if you're not paying out salaries, if all your, your employees are 1099 and you're not paying yourself out of salary, you've lost that opportunity. And so that's a huge mistake and it's a simple mistake to fix. That's the great thing about it. Those two things are both really, really simple things that can save a ton of money on your textbooks. Jay Conner (15:38): I got you. So in addition to that, I know you've got a free report that you're going to offer of the audience here in a moment. And that free report I think is titled the three biggest mistakes in 2019 that real estate investors either guilty of or whatever, Marcus Crigler (15:59): Yeah, the three mistakes real estate investors make on their taxes is, is, and it's from 2019 I wrote this right after the 2019 tax season was over with and just kind of compiled three big things that I saw real estate investors mistake. Both of those things that we just talked about are all in there. It goes into a little bit more detail about what you need to know about those and how that kind of fix those problems going forward. Jay Conner (16:21): Alright, well before I ask you another question, let's go ahead and give out your contact information mortgage as to how people can go get a copy of that report and how they can continue the conversation with you. Marcus Crigler (16:33): Yeah, absolutely. So the easiest way to reach out to us is Duckettladd.com it's our website. On the website you'll have a little button that says, are you a real estate investor? You push that, it's going to take you to our real estate investment page. And you can see everything you want to know about us as a firm, as far as real estate investors. And on that page you also get the opportunity to get that free guide throw in your email address. We're not going to spam you with a bunch of stuff. We don't actually even have an email campaign going, but it's just so opportunity for us to kind of get ahold of you and reach out to you if we have some cool things going on. Jay Conner (17:08): Alright, so we've got viewers and we got listeners here on the show. So let me make sure I got this right. So your website is www.DuckettLadd.com. Correct? Marcus Crigler (17:26): You got it. Jay Conner (17:27): Alright! Super! Well everybody, you definitely want to take advantage of getting on over there to that website and getting that free report. So Marcus, so you've got real estate investors as clients, pretty much all over the nation, right? Marcus Crigler (17:41): Yes. That's accurate. Jay Conner (17:42): Right. And so tell everybody where are you located? Marcus Crigler (17:45): Yeah, I'm in Springfield, Missouri. Which, you know, most people probably have heard of Kansas city, no not there. No where near Kansas city's at. We're about two and a half hours South of Kansas city. We're an MSA of about half a million or so. Jay Conner (17:58): Gotcha. So let me be the devil's advocate for a second. So you got clients all over the nation, so clearly you're going to be able to help people with the federal return. And of course you can coach them and consult them on, you know, the cash flow and saving taxes. But how do you work it when they're needing to file their state taxes? How does that work? Marcus Crigler (18:23): Yeah, that's a great question. So, just as you kind of alluded to, we do have real estate investors all over the, all over the country. So we do have to file a number of state returns. Matter of fact, I believe we have a state return in every state except Hawaii and Alaska, which I wouldn't mind doing one at Hawaii. I'll specifically go to that client to see them. But yes, so we have experienced in just about every single state. If we don't for whatever reason or if we need to learn a little bit more about it, we've got a great group of tax professionals that can do a little dig and do a little research plus, you know, to be honest with you, we have a, we pay a good amount of money for our tax software that also helps guide us through these States and these various States in the intricacies of every state, that kind of stuff. Jay Conner (19:10): Gotcha. Now when you're working with your clients, you know, with you being there in Springfield, your, you know, your meetings that you have with them, I mean, did you all get together in person or do you have throughout the years, zoom conference meetings or you know, how do you communicate with your clients? Marcus Crigler (19:28): Yeah, it all depends. Mostly zoom, video conferencing, very similar to what we're doing here. Most people, that's their preference anyways. Even if I was in their town, they would rather you kind of sit in their office, in their, you know, in their location that they're comfortable with. And be on a zoom and we can pretty much accomplish everything possible on that. Longer meetings. When I do strategic planning full days, one, two day meetings, we usually do that in person and that can either be in our, in Springfield, Missouri, we have the ability to host that or sometimes I go out to clients. It just kind of depends on the situation. Jay Conner (20:04): Excellent. Excellent. Alright Marcus, well we're out of time for this show, but any parting comments you'd like to share with the audience? Marcus Crigler (20:12): Yeah, Jay. Well, I just appreciate you having me on here and I hope that you know, we're in, we're in 2020 now tax season is here. I hope everybody has been able to do a little bit of tax planning and you know, they don't have any surprises on their tax bill. And then like I said, I just appreciate you having us on here and I really appreciate what you do for your audience. I think it's just fantastic that kind of value you give out for free, which is even more incredible. The kind of free value that you give out. I just have certainly respected that Jay Conner (20:40): You bet, you Marcus. Well, I appreciate you, Marcus. I appreciate our friendship and our time that we have together the mastermind. So everybody, again, take advantage of that free report and reach out to Marcus at www.DuckettLadd.com Well, I'm Jay Conner, the private money authority. Thank you for tuning in. Be sure and not miss out anymore of the episodes we have coming up. So if you're on iTunes, be sure to rate or subscribe, rate and review. If you're on one of our YouTube channels, be sure and subscribe there as well. So we look forward to seeing you on the next show. And here's to taking your real estate investing business to the next level. Bye for now. -------------------------------------------------- Visit: https://www.jayconner.com/

#Jay Conner #Private Money Lender #Real Estate Business #Real Estate #Real Estate Investing #Real Estate Investor #Real Estate Profit #The Private Money Authority

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su8arandspite · 5 years

Text

thoughts on st3 steve

For those of you who feel cheated by steve’s character regression in st3, i wrote an episode-by-episode outline of what the real steve would be up to during the summer of 1985.. As much as I liked season 3, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s at least a little bit growth to Steve that’s missing. Warning: contains major spoilers for season 3

Chapter One: Suzie, Do You Copy?

Steve took the job at Scoops Ahoy because he doesn’t want to rely on his asshat of a father, not because he took a college rejection as a sign that he has no future. It's just a summer job

Sure, it crushed him a bit. But instead of resigning to a life of mediocrity and self-pity, Steve Harrington decides that he rather likes helping other people. We know that he’s more than willing to put his life on the line if it means saving someone else.

It’s actually Dustin who first gives Steve the idea of joining the Hawkins PD. Steve isn’t going to Purdue or to Tech- he’s headed to the Indiana Police Academy. And he’s damn proud of it, too

Forget that whole “Steve Harrington has no game after getting dumped once” bit where he returns to his old playboy ways (and failed seven+ times to get a date)!

Steve and Robin still have a running bet, sure, but instead of going for countless pointless dates with girls he hardly knows, they both compete to see which one of them gets a night off and who works the extra shift, minus tips

She just never mentions that she has 0 interest in actually going on dates with any of those guys, because she really wants that night off

You know DAMN WELL that Steve has 10/10 mentioned Dustin to Robin. He’s proud of him. I like to think that their relationship has grown past shitty, misguided dating advice to Steve really being there for Dustin- and vice versa. As I’ve mentioned earlier, I firmly believe that Dustin is invested in Steve’s future. He wants his friends to do better than resigning to a life he hates in a nowhere town. Because he knows Steve can.

Maybe he was stuck at work while the kids threw his official coming home party, but you know that our affectionate little Steve planned a mini ice cream party and knew exactly when Dustin was coming home. He’s just playing it cool. The level of excitement at 10:20ish is more accurate and it melts my heart.

Steve is not dumb. I know for a fact he wouldn’t be pacing around; Steve would at least crack open the dictionary to help translate it.

Chapter Two: The Mall Rats

We do see more of the Steve shown in past seasons here, in that he is shown to be both loyal and clever

For example, the scene at 43:10 when he connects the tune from the horse to the one from Dustin’s recording.

Chapter Three: The Case of the Missing Lifeguard

In that little spy scene with Steve and Dustin, he isn’t distracted by Anna Jacobi and Mark Lewinski out of petty jealousy; hell, it isn’t even really about them at all. Nancy did a real number on Steve’s heart and because she gave him the first real form of love and affection that he’s ever known, he carries around some pretty serious chips on his shoulder and cracks in his little heart for a good while. Steve envies their relationship in general. He misses feeling that wrapped up in someone else. No, he isn’t chasing tail simply for the hell of it. Steve genuinely wants to find love again. His comment wouldn’t belittle Mark, then, but instead scoff at the level of pda in the mall

He wouldn’t insult Robin for being in drama or band. He’d merely insist she was just a friend & not his type. End of story.

nO way would he throw his own advice back in Dustin’s face like that! He treads lightly on the Suzie subject with Dustin. The idea that this girl is shrugging off Dustin- and very possibly about to break his little heart, as far as he knows- does not sit well with Papa Steve

Again, he isn’t dumb. He probably would have noticed that a tall man carrying a duffel bag was just too suspicious to be their spy, but would follow him anyways. To be safe.

Chapter Four: The Sauna Test

The scene around 9:20 on, where Steve suggests that he is both stealthy and capable of winning a fight is precious and brutal. Poor Steve. But I do think that his plan likely would be a bit more sound than that

I think he probably would have at least wanted to leave Erica out as much as possible. After all, she is only 10. Dustin’s a veteran fighter and at least (barely) a teenager. Plus, he knows that’s a losing fight

Chapter Five: The Flayed

Not much to add here. We see more glimpses into the sacrificial Steve st2 left us with.

Chapter Six: E Pluribus Unum

Can we not beat up his pretty face for oNe season I just- :((

Steve “the Hair” Harrington

The scene where Robin and Steve discuss Mrs. Click ‘s class grazes his character arc. He acknowledges his mistakes here, at least. I regained some of my confidence here, minus Steve’s acceptance that he has no future. He’s more than that.

Chapter Seven: The Bite

The scene of drugged!Robin and Steve in the bathroom warms my heart. It does give us more signs to how his breakup with Nancy affected Steve, that he’s forgiven her, and wants to find love again.

Steve would not bash Nancy simply because they are broken up. THank god they remembered that much.

“I guess I found somebody who’s better for me” sdlkfhsdlkfdl this soft boy

Robin is a lovely addition and I actually love her character. And that she doesn’t exist simply as a love interest for Steve.

Speaking of love interests, I imagine that he’d actually meet someone through Robin. Maybe one of her band or drama friends; just a nice girl who meets his level of neediness and challenges him to be better. And refuses to let him give up on himself

I could list off a few of my own ocs here but that’s a story for another time

Chapter Eight: The Battle of Starcourt

There 10/10 is a scene where Hopper encourages Steve for his interest in looking after Hawkins

“It’ll be an honor to have you on my squad, kid” (okay, that one hurt)

“Screw Todd, Steve’s our daddy now!” you’re goddamn right he is.

I refuse to believe that Steve would sit by and not even try to help fight. Fuck that. Steve would hightail it back to Starcourt the second he knew Erica and Dustin were far enough away to be safe with a fucking flamethrower and the bat, partially from nostalgia

You know damn well that Steve has favorite movies, okay?? I refuse to believe in a universe where Dustin and Steve don’t at least occasionally have movie nights. That's just a lie

Bonus: Hopper didn’t die under Starcourt mall, but instead an enemy of the state being held in Russia (aka “the American” referenced at 1:12:49

#stranger things 3 #Thoughts #steve harrington #spoiler #headcanon

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kakosindustries · 5 years

Link

The Live Episode from February 10th, 2019 in Phoenix, Arizona. CW: References to Euthanasia/Suicide.

[[Kakos Bells]]

Intro: What you are about to hear is positive, honest, and uplifting entertainment.

[[Guitar Intro]]

Greetings. Welcome. Take your seats. Feel free to get a drink at any time because you’re going to need it. It’s really best that you stay lubricated for this.

Just so you know, we are now recording this show so that we may better market to you in the future and exploit your every weakness, so if you don’t want what you have to say to go on the Internet, then please keep your mouth shut. Laughter is fine. Screams of terror are fine. Coughing and sneezing are frowned upon. Talking to your buddy about something totally unrelated is a capital crime.

I have just received word that the outside world as we knew it ended moments ago. It is chaos, carnage, death, and destruction out there. The fortunate news is that we are all still alive. That will remain fortunate news right up until we have to start eating each other. In that case, then the people who died instantly above will be the lucky ones.

Tip your bartenders well because money is meaningless now. Everything from here on out is social currency and sexual favors.

My name is Corin Deeth III. I am CEO of Kakos Industries, the sponsor of tonight’s event. You see, even though the world as we know it has ended, Kakos Industries, the company that specializes in helping its clients to Do Evil Better, will continue on. We will continue to do Evil and to advance Evil, and to help everyone everywhere, at least everyone who’s left, to do Evil. Kakos Industries has its innumerable tendrils in everything. From technological advancements, to new techniques for economic exploitation, to the feeling you have when you’re fucking someone you like, but they like like you and you’re really not sure you can keep fucking them with the constant guilt of obviously caring less. We help the world to do Evil. Additionally, if you were going to ghost your date after tonight… whoops.

And that’s where you come in, guests. You see, we need you. Now that the vast majority of humanity is either exterminated or in the process of being exterminated, we need you. Without humanity, there can be no Evil. Nature sets itself apart from humanity in its total and complete neutrality. With humanity, good and Evil can exist. So we need some of you miserable bastards to stick around to stay miserable. It’s really an honor, if you think about it. And the price of admission? Just five dollars? Eight at the door? To be given the privilege of rebooting society? That’s pretty nice.

[[Heat Lightning]]

Quick FAQ:

What has caused the apocalypse? We do not know at this time. It currently seems as though it was a lot of things all at once. Or one thing many times. We’re looking into it and we will bring you details as we get them.

Who caused the apocalypse? Was it the guy we’re thinking of? No. It was us. We did it. We caused it. And as soon as we figure out how, we’ll brag about how we did it. No one has paid us to take blame. Not even with luxury apocalypse bunkers. We already have those. We did it. Just for fun. It was all us.

What does this mean for my loved ones? They are so fucking dead. So fucking dead. We hope that you brought the people you like the most here because everyone else is just fucking toast at this point. And if they’re not, then they are in danger of being crushed, impaled, dissolved, or eaten at this very moment, and I’m not an actuary, but they likely won’t survive long.

Can I leave to try to save my family and friends? No. We’ve locked the bunker, and we are all in here permanently. Take a look around you. Take in your surroundings. These are your new digs for the rest of your life. Take a look at the people in the room. These are your new best friends. These are your new enemies. These are the grandparents to your grandchildren. Assuming this apocalypse takes that long to work its way out. If there’s no radiation or renegade AI, we might be out of here in a year or two.

What about these people that keep filtering into the room? Aren’t they breaking the immersion? Well, those people have come here through the huge series of access tunnels that connect all basement spaces like this one. They escaped the apocalypse at the same time as you, but they just got here a little later. Nothing to worry about.

Was this whole thing planned? How did you know to bring us down here? Another thoughtful question. Yes. Probably. We’re still working out the details of exactly what we did, but I can assure you it was very intentional. Everything we do is very intentional. And well planned.

Is my student loan debt really gone? Can it be true? Have no fear. We will find a way to keep you in debtors’ hell forever.

Other important rules. You have to ride the electricity generating bike if you want a turn with the bluetooth speaker. Well that about covers it.

[[Unpointedness]]

Take a look under your seat. You will have a card under there outlining your new social class here in the apocalypse and your expectations. Some of us will have to work with our hands, others will work with our brains. Some will collect the muck slime, others will prepare the muck slime, but we will all eat the muck slime. Who’s a mage? Just kidding, that’s not a real class. Who is a soldier? You will need to do violence on our behalf, especially keeping the eventual tide of monsters at bay. We thank you in advance for your sacrifice. If I were you, I would tune out the rest of what I’m saying, and start eyeing up what you can use from around the room as a weapon.

The janitors will be responsible for cleaning all of the floors and rooms, and also the people who get so depressed that they can’t shower. Who is the scribe? Please begin writing down everything I say. In fact, if you could write down everything I’ve already said, that would be super.

After the show, we will have two of you fight for our entertainment. Please look at your new social class cards. Who’s a fighter? Oh, three of you? It’s thunderdome then.

Who is the golden child? You are now the luckiest, most talented, and most successful among us, and we will all love and resent you.

Who got bad joke recipient? You will now have to listen to all of the jokes that we as a subterranean society can come up with, and laugh at every single one of them. Even the bad ones. Even the ones that you personally disagree with.

Who is the werewolf? Just kidding. We’ll all close our eyes later for that part.

Also, there will be no elections. I am in charge. The end. Except for mine inspector. We will continue to elect mine inspector. It’s a critical position.

Now that we have the ground rules laid, it’s time to take part in the apocalypse pledge of allegiance. Hands over hearts. Repeat after me. We promise to Do Evil at all times, except when that Evil might mean the extinction of the species, without which Evil cannot continue. We hereby promise to walk that fine line and Do Evil Better. Amen, brother. Thank you for doing that. It is legally, as well as morally binding.

So how many of you were Shareholders in Kakos Industries before tonight? (some sort of response) Well, you are all shareholders now, which means that you can rest easily knowing that your contributions have helped to promote the spread of Evil everywhere in the world. Income inequality. Hunger. Political meddling of all kinds. And everyone’s favorite: Sex. Anyone planning on having sex today? (We’ve got some confident people in the audience today.) In the bunker. Wow. We haven’t even given you your room assignments yet.

[[Elusiveness]]

Before we get too far, we should probably check in on that apocalypse. Right now, we’ve got our field agent Titus Lachlan on the surface, risking life and limb so that we might be able to learn a bit more about the disaster on the surface.

Corin: Come in, Titus. Can you hear me?

Titus (ADAM): Yeah, Corin. I can hear you. I just found some cover.

Corin: What’s going on out there?

Titus: I am as of this time still uncertain. It’s quite dusty out and I am finding it difficult to see.

Corin: Dusty… everywhere?

Titus: Well, I stopped to have a beer under a tree, and it is very dusty right here in particular.

Corin: Well, can you move to another location to give us some useful details?

Titus: I would love to do that, Corin. Just as soon as I finish my bitter.

Corin: Titus, I don’t mean to dwell on the negative here, but you could die at any time. Isn’t there something useful you can tell us?

Titus: Well, that’s where you’re wrong, Corin. I am totally impervious to apocalypses. The worst thing that can happen to me is that I will be the only one left alive when this is all said and done, which, admittedly, is pretty bad now that I think of it.

Corin: How can you be impervious to apocalypses?

Titus: An experiment went wrong, and here I am.

Corin: But how could you know that you’re impervious? The only apocalypse to happen is the one that just happened.

Titus: The scientists used concentrated apocalypse beams in the lab and I withstood all of them. No matter if it’s the biblical end times or a sciencey one, I’ll be right as rain.

Corin: How much beer do you have left?

Titus: It’s a tall boy, Corin. I’ll be sipping for another few minutes at least.

Corin: Well, radio in when you have something.

Titus might not have anything of use, but we can still listen in on what’s going on at the nearest listening station.

([1] – some distorted screaming, explosions, gunshots, fire sounds, etc)

Well, that sounded pretty bad. Remember that all of that is out there waiting for you if you feel the need to go smoke. Might want to wait a little bit.

I have in front of me a list of all the possible causes of the apocalypse. First item is giant robot AI. That is interesting. I should double check that with our resident robot expert, Dirk Cornelius Sexplosion, CEO of Giant-Ass Robots to Kick In Your Face. I say resident expert because he made the mistake of coming to live in this bunker, making him a resident.

New shareholders and old shareholders alike, you will enjoy hearing from Dirk. He is a man of such tremendous Evil, such dastardly masculinity, such malicious ingenuity, that we are truly lucky to have him here. He makes enormous metal machines that cause unfathomable amounts of damage worldwide, but his strength of will is even stronger. He is the master of manliness, the zenith of zero compassion, and the pinnacle of penility. Let me introduce Dirk motherfucking Sexplosion.

[[Pythonidae]]

(Dirk sobs)

Corin: Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s the apocalypse, man. Get yourself together!

Dirk (ANWAR): I’m trying! It’s… It’s not the apocalypse.

Corin: What’s the problem?

Dirk: It’s… my family, Corin. My wives. My husband. Our dogs and hedgehog.

Corin: They’re all here. We evacuated them before we definitely caused the apocalypse.

Dirk: It’s not that. They’re safe and sound and set up in our luxury apocalypse bunker away from all of these filthy normal people. But they’re just so angry at me, Corin.

Corin: Dirk, it’s not unusual for friends and family to not understand your relationship with or appreciation of Evil. We have support groups for that.

Dirk: It’s not that, Corin. It’s… They think I caused the apocalypse.

Corin: That’s ridiculous, Dirk. We caused the apocalypse. Possibly using your robots, but it was us, not you. I have lists here of everything you were working on and none of them could have ended the world individually.

Dirk: There’s more than just that, Corin.

Corin: Go on.

Dirk: Well, you see, you’re always pushing me to be more Evil. Harder. Toxically manlier.

Corin: Well, Dirk, you tend to bring me really wimpy shit. Like giant dog robots that humans pilot so they can feel like puppies.

Dirk: Well, I decided I had enough of being so sad about stuff like that and I was just going to push through it. I was going to make a giant robot that could destroy the world. I kept it off the books. No one was to know about it until it was done. The MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion.

Corin: I’m going to set aside my frustration at your dishonesty for a moment. Don’t tell me this robot could feel the desperation of aging or some bullshit like that.

Dirk: (through sobs) It had rocket launchers firing spent uranium.

Corin: That sound sick as shit.

Dirk: It had enormous blades to destroy entire forests!

Corin: Rad.

Dirk: It could set fires large enough to change the weather hundreds of miles away!

Corin: I’m really loving this robot.

Dirk: Its fuel source was people!

Corin: Fuck yeah.

Dirk: I mean, not just people, but people are its favorite.

Corin: Dirk, I’m not mad at you. I’m just amazed. I love the MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion. You did all of this on your own without our help?

Dirk: It took everything I had. And I went too far, Corin! I killed all people. Now there’s no one left. And my family is so mad at me.

Titus: Come in, Corin.

Corin: What is it Titus?

Titus: The dust where I’m sitting has started to subside and it looks like there’s a giant robot here.

Dirk: MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion!

Titus: Ah, yep. That’s what it says on it. Right on the shaft of its big robo dick.

Corin: Dirk, you gave the robot a dick?

Dirk: We’ve been over this, Corin. If the robot doesn’t have a dick, then none of the other parts fit together. You just have a pile of robot parts on the floor. And that’s not going to feast on any humans, is it?

Titus: Well, the robot is now rocking back and forth on it’s robo buttocks, and it appears to be sobbing. It is trying to eat the trees nearby, but it is not having a good go of it.

Dirk: But it eats people. For fuel. Not trees.

Titus: Well, it looks like it might have grown a conscience. It didn’t even do that much damage first. Looks like maybe one factory destroyed, no more than maybe seventy five people. I don’t think this big guy caused the apocalypse.

[Robot Crying]

Dirk: He sounds so sad! But that means… I’m in the clear?

Corin: It looks like it. Thank you, Titus. Please let me know if you discover anything else.

Titus: Right-o. Titus out.

Dirk: MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion is just like me. It tries so hard, but then, it’s just so sad.

Corin: Just like you.

Dirk: I’m so relieved, Corin. My family will be so happy to hear this.

Corin: So the next item on my list is AI robot swarms. Do you know anything about those, Dirk?

Dirk: Huh? No. We don’t use artificial intelligence. We only use artificial stupidity and artificial emotional instability.

Corin: I think I can see what happened here. Well, you can go back to your family, then.

Dirk: But… my son is out there, Corin.

Corin: MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion?

Dirk: He’s so sad and out there all alone. I should help him, Corin. I can teach him to eat plants if that will make him happy.

Corin: It’s the apocalypse out there, Dirk, and you’re not apocalypse proof. I think this will sort itself out. And you can’t leave.

Dirk: I just want my boy to be happy, Corin!

Corin: Go to your family, Dirk.

Dirk: Yes. You’re right, Corin. My boy will be fine out there.

Corin: That’s not what I said– I mean, yeah, he’ll be fine.

[[Bawdry]]

Talking to Dirk, I almost forgot about our impending doom for a minute there. Let’s check in on the horror outside.

([2] – Another really terrible sound)

That still sounds pretty bad. Maybe it’s mutants. That would be fun. To tell us more about mutants, we have Mitch Grody from the Division of Mutants and Freaks, author of What to Expect When You’re Expecting to Severely Mutate to tell us more.

Mitch (ADAM): It’s great to be here, Corin.

Corin: So what do you have to tell us today?

Mitch: Well, Corin, as you know, I’m a mutant. And I just want to tell everyone in here that there’s nothing to worry about. In the event that this apocalypse has been caused by radiation or some virulent mutagen that the shareholders were unable to avoid for any reason, I am here to tell them that it’s okay to be a mutant. I’m a mutant, and I live a full and happy life.

Corin: How did your mutation come to be?

Mitch: Well, I used to be a lab tech testing new and strange genetic modifications. One day, I noticed we forgot to put the right specimen in the chamber and I went to switch it out real quick when the gene laser hit me right in the family jewels. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but when I woke up the next day, I had two penises, Corin. I thought that was pretty neat. The next day, I had three penises, and I think we can all agree that’s too many. Right ladies? Clap if you think three penises is too many.

Corin: So what was the rest of the transformation like?

Mitch: Well, as you can see, the rest of my skin got kind of weird. Lumpy. Flaky. Weird. And I also have a few other organs that have split in three. My liver being one. Alcohol doesn’t affect me any longer. And then my life took a pretty steep decline. My girlfriend couldn’t keep up with my three dicks. They all have different personalities, you know. Different needs. And tastes. So my girlfriend left. Then my landlord kicked me out. I mean, all I had done was cover my apartment in moss. People don’t realize how nice it is to sleep on moss when your skin is so lumpy and flaky. This was in the days before the Mutant Non-Discrimination Act. Things are so much better now.

Corin: How did you learn to cope? It’s important for our shareholders who might be mutating at this moment to know there’s hope.

Mitch: Well, I found a new lover with three vaginas. And a penis. I didn’t think I’d like that, but it grew on me. Not literally. Still just the three penises here. Anyway, she and I are very much in love, even after she found out that I caused her mutation due to my own loneliness. I needed another mutant freak to be with, and I arranged for her to have an accident. It seems that no one else will love her now. I call that a victory, Corin.

Corin: You are a mutant, and a monster. Do you have any recommendations for people just beginning to mutate?

Mitch: Thank you, Corin, for pitching my book. I would tell anyone feeling the tug of the mutated fates that they should begin to study mutation. Know it inside and out. Learn everything you can from everyone you can. Begin experimenting as much as possible. And when the time comes, act as selfishly as possible and patch things up later. And by that, I mean find someone special, and dose them with just the right mutagens to get them to be your perfect missing piece. And if you happen to end up with four vaginas and three penises, my lover and I are currently looking for a swinging partner.

Corin: Well, I don’t know how anyone can be depressed about their progressing mutation with advice like that. Thank you, Mitch.

Titus: Come in, Corin.

Corin: I’m here.

Titus: I just tasted the dirt up here. It does not taste like radiation or mutagens. That is conclusive evidence.

Corin: Well… okay. I’ll take your word for it.

[[Aerator]]

So as shareholders in Kakos Industries, it is important to have pride in what you are now a part of. I would like to tell you about a few of our ongoing programs that will be contributing to Evil in the post-apocalyptic future.

The first program is The Better Mutants from our partner Better Mutations Inc. While we just learned that there will be no mutants in the post-apocalypse due to radiation or mutagens, we all have certain expectations for what should be out there when we finally surface. For this reason, The Better Mutants project was undertaken. As we speak, ordinary animals like crows, pigeons, lizards, and rabbits are all being modified to be larger and far more hazardous. Sharper teeth, a thirst for blood, and acidic secretions they shoot out of their eyeballs. It will really help to sell the post-apocalypse stylistically speaking in the future, which I think we can all appreciate. Or at least our great grandchildren will. They will think, “Thank Evil this wasteland is so dangerous. My immersion would have been broken otherwise!”

We also occasionally spend time working with fashion. While it’s great fun and great Evil designing clothes that no one can fit into, or clothes that make us look so sexually exciting that it’s difficult to think about anything other than sex, until the clothes come off and we realize just how deeply unappealing all of us humans are at the base level when undoctored by makeup and wardrobe. But for now, our Division of Adornments has taken a much more serious task. That is, to keep the wasteland sexy. I know for a fact that none of you in this room would be satisfied to see a wasteland where no one is hot. So they’ve been leaving stashes of ripped and torn clothing, but in like better ways than would happen at random, so our descendants will look amazing while still fitting into that scavenger aesthetic. This way, we can imagine an apocalypse the way we might like to imagine it, especially as we are quietly satisfying ourselves so as not to disturb our neighbor in the next bunk.

([Noise 1])

[[Melantha Keys]]

Melantha (BECCA): Corin. I’m interrupting you.

Corin: Ah, Melantha Murther, CEO of [Competitor – Corin Pronunciation], our largest competitor.

Melantha: You sound like you have a speech impediment. Or damage to the speech processing section of your brain. It’s pronounced [Competitor – Melantha Pronunciation].

Corin: Ah, I see. My mistake.

Melantha: It happens all the time. It’s a useful Shiboleth for finding out who around me is a complete idiot.

Corin: How is your apocalypse, Melantha?

Melantha: It’s fantastic. So hot! We finished the hole under our building just in time, and we just dropped the whole thing down underground to safety. Now, nothing can touch us, and we can keep doing Evil.

Corin: That’s comforting news. It seems that our rivalry will go on, then.

Melantha: Rivalry? Don’t be silly. It’s not like you caused the apocalypse.

Corin: What? Of course we caused the apocalypse.

Melantha: No. You didn’t. We did. Because we are far more Evil than you. No Evil Left Undone. That’s our motto, and the apocalypse was the obvious next step when we had finished all the other Evils.

Corin: Then how did the apocalypse happen?

Melantha: Well… it was… obviously an extremely infectious venereal disease from our lab. It makes people just do it a whole lot, all over the place, in all the positions. Doing it. And spreading the disease until everyone is doing it. But then your nose falls off. And then you die.

Titus: Come in, Corin.

Corin: Go ahead, Titus.

Melantha: Are you taking another call? Right now?

Titus: I just got lucky, Corin. Just rooted a woman here on the surface. She was looking to feel something other than fear for a few moments and pulled me aside to do the deed. I can safely confirm that venereal disease has not caused the apocalypse. I am detecting nothing abnormal about my loins at all. The woman ran off, so I couldn’t do any, uh, further testing. But, Definitely not VD.

Corin: Excellent news, Titus. Do you hear that, Melantha? You didn’t cause the apocalypse.

Melantha: Then what did?

Corin: Well, obviously, it was… drugs?

Titus: Corin, I have just snorted some of the dirt. No buzz at all. Not a thing. Not even a little bit. It wasn’t drugs either.

Melantha: Then you don’t know either! Ha! It seems this is a draw, Corin! I’ll just keep investigating until I figure out that I caused this and then I will rub your face in it. Hahahahaha!

[Noise 2]

Corin: Or maybe I caused it! I mean… I could have. We’ll get to the bottom of this, shareholders.

But first, let’s take a brief intermission. If you haven’t already, please tell us what is most Evil on the pad of paper here at the front, and throw your name into the Ruin-A-Life Drawing.

[[Stop Music]]

INTERMISSION

We will now need a volunteer from the audience. Who wants to read? (Don’t make me pick one of you at random)

[[Flathead]]

What’s your name? Thank you for coming to the stage. Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone else, this is X. Thank you so much for joining us today. Now, as I understand it, you have volunteered to seal the tunnels from the outside and brave whatever terrors might be waiting for you out there to save all of us. This is truly a dangerous and terrible task, and we thank you for that.

Guest: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Corin: Ah, yes, I did hear about the head injury you encountered earlier. It can play havoc with your memories.

Guest: I did not volunteer to do anything dangerous.

Corin: Don’t be ridiculous. It was very brave. We were all very impressed.

Guest: Just a moment ago, you asked for volunteers to come read a part.

Corin: That doesn’t sound right. I introduced you, you came to the stage and now you are telling me about the brave and dangerous feat ahead of you, and I am telling you just how brave and courageous we think you are. Thank you for your service.

Guest: You asked me to come read. Anyone in the audience will remember that.

Corin: The audience does not remember that. And if they do, then there’s a kind of thing called a collective hallucination. If anyone remembers me asking for you to come up here from the audience, they are just remembering wrong. You are a guest like any other on this show. We talked about it earlier. Your family did mention you might have some memory troubles, though.

Guest: I have no idea what’s happening.

Corin: None of us do. It’s the apocalypse. It is all very scary and we are all thankful that you are going to do this selfless thing and go battle with escaped monsters and terrible biological pathogens that are certain to be lining the tunnels now until you finally fall to one of their attacks, saving all of us.

Guest: This is crazy. I volunteered for none of that. I just came here to watch a show because you asked me to on Facebook.

Corin: Oh, bless your heart. We will never forget your sacrifice.

Guest: I simply will not do this thing.

Corin: That’s okay. We have several people standing by to escort you to your new task. Everyone please applaud as this brave soul goes to do something unimaginably brave and selfless for all of us. And die a terrible death. (You can go now)

It’s been a minute since we checked outside. Let’s have a listen.

[3] (More Terrible sounds)

At Kakos Industries, we are known for our parties. Of course, we’re Evil and we take the time to party whenever we can. I know that some of you long time shareholders might be concerned about how we might continue this critical part of our operations in these new, dramatically worsened circumstances. Obviously, we will all have to make some modifications, and that includes how we will celebrate. Right now, we should be having the Shareholders’ Ball, the most extravagant party of the year for us at Kakos Industries. It’s that time when we celebrate you, the shareholders. We spare no expense, and violate whatever morals we might have left, to bring you a feast and entertainment to truly remember. We’re still working out the kinks, but it’s likely the entertainment and the food offerings will be human suffering themed. Because we’ve got a lot of it right now. Those of you with chef on your new class cards should get to work so I don’t look like a fool when the time comes.

There’s also the Festival of Books. We do have a few books. They are all Dan Brown novels, though. Sorry about that. Not quite as exciting as we’re used to.

The CEO Festival is the festival where you all celebrate me. I did mention the thunderdome, right? It’ll probably be a thunderdome kind of thing. And the Festival of the Dance? Probably thunderdome. The Festival of Darkness will occur any time someone uses the bluetooth speaker without using the electric bike. It’ll trip the breaker and turn out the lights. Festival of Somnambulation? That’ll also be a thunderdome. The Thunderdome Festival will be a quiet game of cards, though.

I mentioned our low supply of books, but it would seem that the rest of our media is somewhat limited as well. The Internet has been completely destroyed. (pause) That’s what I thought. We’re not really that sad about it, are we? We’ve been kind of like, waiting for it to go for a while now, right? Before the apocalypse we tried to archive as much of the Internet as possible, so we could pretend like it still exists for some time, but the only things we managed to save were extreme right wing terrorist forums, so we deleted them. Also we saved the most recent meme to be posted to the Internet right before everything went to shit. It’s not a good one, but it is the last thing humanity did before the end of the world. It’s a kitten, on a blue background, and it says “This apocalypse shit is freaking meowt.” Congratulations, humanity.

[[Overdraught]]

To speak with us a bit more about the limited media we still have access to, we are now joined by Lisa Librera, the curator of what remains of our archives of entertainment. So, Lisa, what do we have to keep ourselves busy?

Lisa (KELSEY): Thank you, Corin. In addition to the books you mentioned and the lovely meme that will need to sustain us for the rest of time, we also have a small collection of VHS tapes, but they are all either commercial releases of Showgirls, the Ernest collection, or television taped in Super Long Play mode by someone’s grandmother. We know whose, we’re just not comfortable sharing that information right now. You will have to check them out and return them in one piece. Also, there is only one VCR, and it stays in the break room.

Corin: That seems difficult, but I assume we will adapt quickly.

Lisa: We also have a complete collection of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass on Vinyl, and an extremely worn copy of Thriller. The stylus has broken on our turntable, however. For other auditory entertainment, we also have this kitschy digital remote control that just plays fart sounds. Please use this responsibly.

Corin: If anyone can be trusted with such a power, it is our shareholders.

Lisa: We also have many of the Earth’s greatest works of art that you can look at through a window on the far side of the break room. Please do not concern yourselves with the identities of the masked figures who move the art around and sort it, and do not concern yourself with how we got any of it either.

Corin: I can think of nothing concerning about any of that. At least not to my sensibilities.

Lisa: There are six decks of cards. You will need to show proof that you will be playing cards with at least one other person before you will be allowed to check one out. No solitaire. We don’t have the resources for solitaire. We also have some dice, but they are exclusively for gambling.

Corin: I was going to ask about gambling. I’m glad that particular aspect of humanity will continue into the apocalypse.

Lisa: There is one puzzle. We don’t know what it’s supposed to look like when completed, or if all of the pieces are there, or if all of the pieces are even from the same puzzle.

Corin: I’m sure we will find out quickly.

Lisa: There are also several copies of Monopoly that I expect none of you to play. We also have a Bop-It, and a Skip-It. We expect them to be completely broken by tomorrow.

Corin: I can see that.

Lisa: There is also just one remaining porno magazine. It will be kept under lock and key. You will have to make an appointment, look at it, memorize whatever you need, and then go about your way, leaving it in the case. I am told, however, that there is something for everyone in it.

Corin: What about people who need more physical activity to keep themselves sane?

Lisa: You’ve already mentioned the exercise bike and the blue tooth speaker, but we do have a complete weight room in case you feel like getting prison jacked while you’re down here, and why not. We also have the GED prep book for anyone who wants to better themselves. We cannot guarantee that the information in this book is going to be valuable in the post apocalypse, but it’s about time you got yourself back into school.

Corin: That makes sense. It’s never too late for self improvement.

Lisa: We also have a limited supply of a variety of colors of paint so that you may while away the hours watching them dry. There’s also this cup and ball thing that I think we’re all going to be experts at soon enough, and a single puzzle cube, but it’s missing two of the face stickers. We don’t have the right color markers to do anything about that.

Corin: Well it seems like we might be just about set for the rest of our lives down here. Is there anything else?

Lisa: We also have one of those floor mats that promises to teach you to do the Jitterbug, but we lost the instructions. And the music.

Corin: That’s too bad. Thank you for joining us.

[[Helena]]

Corin: Hey, Titus.

Titus: Yes, Corin?

Corin: Is there any chance the apocalypse was caused by boredom?

Titus: I certainly don’t think so, Corin. If anything, it is quite exciting out here. I am positively riveted. It reminds me of my youth, when I used to cliff dive into waters just infested with jellies to show them who was boss.

I have a note here saying that our next guest is Deborah Highlow, from the Division of Animal Husbandry. Well, okay.

Deborah (BECCA): I appreciate you asking me here, Corin.

Corin: I definitely didn’t do that.

Deborah: I have something very important to talk about today.

Corin: Okay. Go ahead.

Deborah: It’s about the animals we have here in the bunker. Our livestock.

Corin: Do you want to talk with us about how to handle the animals and make sure that they last for generations to come?

Deborah: No, all of that is automated. I have something more important to talk about. May I address the shareholders directly?

Corin: Uh, yeah. I guess.

Deborah: Hello shareholders. My name is Deborah. I work with animals every day. I love animals and all that they have to offer us, so I want to talk to you about the most pressing issue facing us now that we are locked in this basement with the livestock. And that is overcoming your lust for them.

Corin: I’m going to cut you off right there, Deborah.

Deborah: Corin, this is important. Let me finish.

Corin: No guarantees.

Deborah: We’ve all been there. You catch the eye of that beautiful, glistening pack animal, and you think, there is nothing I want inside of me more than that animal.

Corin: Like to eat?

Deborah: No, Corin. Not to eat.

Corin: Please let’s not do this.

Deborah: You start by stroking its mane.

Corin: No.

Deborah: and maybe you get a little bit experimental.

Corin: Please stop.

Deborah: But this is wrong. We cannot fuck the animals.

Corin: Didn’t even cross my mind.

Deborah: You say that now, Corin. But just wait three months, down here, with all of these people. You’ll fuck half of them by next month. But then what will excite you?

Corin: Three months sounds like a short amount of time for this kind of change.

Deborah: You’ll start looking to the cows. Or the chickens. Or the horses.

Corin: There aren’t any horses down here.

Deborah: Oh, what a relief then. Actually, it was primarily the horses I was worried about. Now I feel silly for even bringing this up.

Corin: Well, I feel… silly isn’t the right word.

Deborah: Goodbye, Corin.

So… we’re going to have to get someone to fuck Deborah. Like a human person. Fall on that sword, guys. Because there will be no animal fucking in here.

Now we recognize it can get kind of boring down here, especially if you don’t have a whole lot of friends in this group, which is why we’re starting up some extracurricular activities to stay busy. We will have a choir. We currently only have the sheet music for acapella Sweet Caroline, but I’m sure you resourceful people will figure out some other songs.

We’re also going to have some roleplaying groups, but each group will have that guy that tries to game the system in a super unfun way. We also have one amongst us who can teach everyone else to make pottery. I am told that there is also an inflatable hot tub, but the heater is broken, and it probably has a hole in it.

I am now joined by Dennis Leelio, Director of The Intergalactic Network For Otherworldly Industry Liaisons, or TINFOIL for short.

[[Automat 2]]

Corin: What do you have to talk about today, Dennis?

Dennis (ANWAR): Well, usually, COrin, I deal with outer space shit. Aliens. Making alliances. Maintaining trade. Getting the good Froobberries from Markalon 99, okay? But now, we’re underground. I could have been in space for the apocalypse, but you decided to bring me back to Earth so that I could join you guys in the fucking ground. Real, exciting, Corin. Just a great fucking time for me. And now what do they ask me to do, Corin? They ask me to keep an eye on the drug stash. They know that I get a little cranky when I have chardonnay. They know I’m not going to touch the blow, or the blizz, or the weed cigarettes. But now I have the unenviable task of keeping these fucking drug fiends out there away from the stash so it lasts a while. There are no more drugs, Corin. What we’ve got is what we’ve got. No pens, no powders, no leaves, no flowers. We’re not getting any more, okay? So we’ve got to let everyone down real easy. Did you see that, Corin? Half of your damn shareholders just stiffened up knowing that they can’t smoke their jazz herbs every day for the rest of the apocalypse. Their buttholes just got real tight, Corin. And look at that guy. He’s fucking itchy just at the thought of not having any nose sweets. This is real great for me, Corin. Just dealing with a bunch of drug addled people looking for their fix. People that you got addicted. And you know I can’t leave anyone else in charge of the stash. Not even Derek. He’ll do all the drugs, Corin. I left him at the stash for five minutes and I bet he’s done half of the stuff already. In fact, the longer I’m here talking to you, the less drugs we’re going to have because my idiot assistant has a serious meeblebock problem. That’s not even a drug we have here, Corin. He is so fucked when the sweats start, and you know who’s going to have to take care of him? You know who’s going to have to breastfeed him back to health? It sure as shit isn’t you, Corin. It’s me. I’m going to have to change his bedding when he soils himself, and what thanks do I get for any of this? None. No thanks. No thanks for Dennis. Maybe I should do the drugs, Corin. Maybe I should just stick my face in there and just snort, smoke and swallow, and inject until I’m a fucking vegetable. Then I won’t have to deal with this garbage. The apocalypse? Go fuck yourself, Corin. Go fuck yourself.

Corin: I’ll let you get back to the stash.

Dennis: Thank you.

Corin: Hey, Dennis.

Dennis: What?

Corin: Thank you.

Dennis: Oh, go fuck yourself, Corin. Go fuck yourself. I deserve better than this shit.

Titus: Come in, Corin.

Corin: Yep. Go ahead.

Titus: I have determined that the end is not due to lack of cheese. There’s still plenty of cheese up here.

Corin: That’s not even on my list of possibilities. Can you look into electromagnetic pulses or superstorms? Maybe global warming?

Titus: I’m on it, Corin. Just as soon as I sample some more cheese.

[[Landlike]]

Shareholders, I have just received a note from my grandfather. If you’re a new shareholder, then you should know that my grandfather wrote me a lot of letters before he died to cover a wide variety of contingencies. This one is titled “The Apocalypse”. He writes, “Well, Corin, it was bound to happen, wasn’t it. The end of the world. And you were bound to cause it. I didn’t, and my predecessors didn’t either, so we were due. Don’t feel too bad sport. Everything was always headed this direction. In this letter, I’ve included a key. It opens a lockbox in storage 38-99-A in the bunker. There’s a bottle of DarkMegaScotch in there. Toast the world for me, would you? Also, if the apocalypse is anything like those months I spent underground in the seventies researching our internal clocks and how Evil they are, then it’s important to put on pants every single day. Every day, Corin. You promise me. Every day. If you don’t, that’s when the problems start. Put your pants on. Even when you don’t want to. You have to. Every day. Every day. Love ya, kiddo.” Well, I’m wearing pants now. Advantageous start, I guess.

Let’s take a listen outside again.

([Not so terrible sound] Something silly, like a carnival or something. Geese. Laughter.)

That doesn’t sound right.

The Division of Incredibly Boring things is still at work, shareholders. This is one of my favorite divisions. They’re always doing such interesting things. Well, not interesting. The opposite, actually–

([Noise 1])

Corin: Who is it now?

Svetlana (MASHA): My name is Svetlana. I work for DarkMegaKGB.

Corin: Ah. New shareholders, the DarkMegaUSSR is one of our rivals. But their leader took almost everyone and started a colony on Mars.

Svetlana: It is the reddest of planets. Even if Vodya was a bit misguided in his desire to get there so soon. He has left some of us behind on Earth to continue bringing collectivized Evil to the world.

Corin: So why did you call? Are you going to take credit for the apocalypse?

Svetlana: This is just like you capitalists. You think that it is always competition and that person who goes biggest wins. And it is your short sightedness that brings us to this mess. This apocalypse. Communist Evil would last a hundred thousand generations. No History. No social unrest. Just Evil. But you, and your consumption, and your need to exploit every one of Earth’s resources in pursuit of shiny things, you have gone too far. Capitalism has done this, and now there is no one left to do Evil to. No one left in gulag. No one left in frozen wastes. All is wasted.

Corin: You think capitalism did this? I mean, sure. Why not. We’ll take the blame.

Svetlana: Short sighted as always.

Titus: Corin, I did some looking into the weather patterns.

Corin: Forget about that for a minute. Did capitalism cause the apocalypse?

Titus: Ah, Capitalism? Well… That’s a tricky one, Corin. I am not economist. Hold on.

(Titus makes nibbling sounds)

Titus: Well, Corin, I’ve just chewed some bark here. I can detect notes of runaway capitalism, notes of financial oligarchy, a hint of cronyism, and a lot of greed, but no, Corin. Capitalism may have helped, but it’s not the root of the problem.

Corin: Do you hear that Svetlana?

Svetlana: In that case, we will take credit for the apocalypse. Thank you for conceding, Mr. Deeth. It has made our job much easier.

([noise 2])

Corin: Oh, fuck.

Corin: Okay, Titus, tell me what you’ve discovered about the weather patterns.

[Wind]

Titus: Okay, here goes: It is windy.

(pause)

Corin: That’s it?

Titus: This wind did not cause the apocalypse.

Corin: Then find out what did!

Titus: Ah, yep. That’s the point, Corin. Working on it. Titus out.

[STOP Wind]

Corin: This is getting pretty frustrating.

[[Equivocacy]]

Now to try to perk us up, I am joined by Francine Drow to talk with us about Euthanasia options. Wait, that doesn’t sound pleasant at all.

Francine (JESSIE): It most certainly isn’t, Corin, but we have to have this conversation.

Corin: I suppose I agree. We have to make sure that we have mature conversations about things like this.

Francine: And we also don’t want anyone making a fucking mess all over the bunker for everyone else to see and clean up. We understand, you know. This is all terribly depressing and the desire to leave it all behind is not difficult to empathize with. Why, I’m thinking about it right now myself. And that’s why we’ve decided to set up safe, sanitary, and most importantly, tidy ways of ending it all. The last thing we need is brains all over the fucking walls, or gallons of blood staining the floor for the rest of eternity. We also don’t want your bowels releasing anywhere other than the designated areas for that. It’s really about morale.

Corin: Morale?

Francine: Obviously. If we have a bunch of corpses piling up everywhere, and leaving remnants in the most difficult to clean nooks and crannies, then it will have a seriously negative effect on morale. People cannot be content in those circumstances.

Corin: So what do you recommend?

Francine: Well, we have a variety of ways to take you out for good that are far more agreeable than leaving yourself hanging like a flag, waving for all to see. We have drugs and a variety of painless poisons. And best of all, the emotional impact you have on the rest of us is far less with these methods. We can’t stop you from doing it, but we can ask that you not make it a whole thing, you know?

Corin: Do you have anything hopeful to say after all of that?

Francine: No matter how you die, we will harvest your sperm or eggs if you have any and use those to make more people in the future. We just can’t lose the genetic diversity.

Corin: I’m not sure that’s all that hopeful.

Francine: Did I forget to smile?

Corin: Thank you for joining us, Francine.

Let’s check in with the sounds outside to see how things are progressing.

[4](More terrible sounds)

That’s about what I expected.

[[Overt Operation]]

[Fire]

Titus: I have another update.

Corin: Go ahead.

Titus: It’s regarding global warming. It is rather warm where I am, but I am inside a burning building.

Corin: Titus, get out of there!

Titus: Don’t you worry, Corin. I’m apocalypse proof, remember?

Corin: Fine. But this isn’t useful information.

Titus: I’m only one man, Corin. I’m doing the best I can.

Corin: Well, keep at it. It seems like we might not figure out the answer to this enormous question before the end of the show here. We’ll have to distribute literature later or something. Or maybe have another show.

Titus: Whatever you think is best, Corin. I’m going to have another beer in the meantime.

[Can]

[STOP Fire]

They say that Evil once ate one half of each of two babies and sewed them up into one baby. This is Things We’re Taking Credit for Now. New shareholders, this is the segment where we announce that we’re taking credit for Evil things around the world. We definitely did do these things, but it’s not always easy to prove how. Today, we are taking credit for ________, _________, and the apocalypse. I guess I said that one already. If you happen to disagree that we did any of these things, prepare to experience the apocalypse head on. Outside.

X has won the Ruin-A-Life Drawing. As a result, the life of X’s nemesis will be ruined. X has selected Y for this punishment. We spun the Wheel of Misery with an Evil amount of force and it sailed right past apocalypse to land on the space designated for Nonjudgmental. That’s right, from this day forward, Y will be 300% more nonjudgmental. This includes situations where being judgmental isn’t really helping anyone, but also situations where some judgment would actually be a pretty good idea. Like picking your friends and lovers. For Evil Measure, X will be 30% more judgmental. That may take a toll. Congratulations on the win and best of luck.

[[Tautologize]]

And that brings us to the end of the show. No more word from Titus. The apocalypse just happened and now we have to deal with it. Not the best outcome, but Evil perseveres.

[Laser]

Titus: Corin.

Corin: What is it, Titus?

Titus: Well, it’s the apocalypse.

Corin: It is the apocalypse. What about it?

Titus: Do you remember when I told you about that ray that they used to test my apocalypse-proofness?

Corin: I remember thinking that it made no sense.

Titus: Well, this is embarrassing, but it looks like one of the scientists in the lab left the ray on, and it looks like it slipped, so it’s no longer hitting the apocalypse-proof panel on the wall. Instead, it’s hitting a glass of water and being reflected out of the window, where it is hitting the Earth. I believe this apocalypse ray may be causing the apocalypse.

Corin: That is so incredibly stupid.

Titus: I agree, Corin, but you just can’t make this stuff up.

Corin: Well, turn it off.

[Laser Off]

Titus: It is off, Corin.

Corin: And the apocalypse light on my desk turned off. Titus, you ended the apocalypse.

Titus: Are you sure, Corin? I still feel like everything is terrible.

Corin: Oh, it is.

Titus: Nothing makes sense. Everyone is mad at everyone else.

Corin: Yep.

Titus: It feels like democracy is crumbling and no one cares about truth anymore.

Corin: uh-huh. But it’s not the apocalypse anymore. I’ll see you back at work, Titus. Corin out.

Well, shareholders, this is embarrassing. But on the other hand, at least it was us here at Kakos Industries that caused the apocalypse, and not any of our competitors. I suppose we can let you go now. Hopefully your loved ones survived the few hours of apocalypse.

Please tip your bartenders. We will have merch in the back. Have an amazing night. The numbers are next.

[[The Numbers]]

120

220

440

420

I suppose now that everything is back to normal we can take one more listen outside.

[5] (Another terrible sound)

Where the hell did we put that microphone?

[[Kakos Bells with Reverse Reverb]]

[[Potency]]

Kelsey: This special live presentation of Kakos Industries was written and produced by Conrad Miszuk, who is also the voice of Corin Deeth III. The introduction is read by Kitty McCauley, and the credits are read by Kelsey Kemmer, the current thunderdome champion after squashing a fly in there. Special appearance in this episode by Adam Miszuk, Anwar Newton, Rebecca Ryan, Jessie Marie, Masha Zapalova, and Kelsey Kemmer. Please visit KakosIndustries.com for news, extras, and more episodes. There are also transcriptions on the website if you’d like to read along with the Kakos Industries announcements. That’s K-A-K-O-S-I-N-D-U-S-T-R-I-E-S dot com. Please visit store.KakosIndustries.com for merchandise and special offers and get wonderful benefits by becoming a subscription donor at kakosindustries.com/patreon. You can also buy stuff in the lobby! Questions, comments, or a strong desire to collaborate? Drop us a line at [email protected]. If you like Kakos Industries, be sure to rate and review us on your favorite podcasting service, and connect with us on YouTube (YouTube.com/KakosIndustries), Facebook (facebook.com/kakosindustries), Tumblr (kakosindustries.tumblr.com), and Twitter (@KakosIndustries). We encourage fan art and listener participation on all our social media platforms. We’ve recently expanded our social media team, so please visit the website to view their credits and current projects.

Kelsey: Kakos Industries can be heavy sometimes. Try exercising to take your mind off of all of the darkness.

[[Stop Music]]

#IFTTT #Kakos Industries #Do Evil Better

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calliecat93 · 5 years

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My Top 10 (Current) Favorite Ships

Happy Valentines Day everyone! I am once again single and have still never so much as held hands with another person! GO ME AND HOW MUCH I SUCK AT LOVE! HAHA... wow I just made myself sad. But hey, just because my love life sucks doesn’t mean that I can’t celebrate it. So to celebrate the holidays, I am going to talk about my Top 10 Favorite Ships... at the current time anyways.

I have a... complicated relationship with ships. I don’t like getting into them much. I have several, don’t get me wrong, but they’re normally either canon ones or ones teased hard enough. But because of shipping wars and stuff, shipping has become a tainted subject for me. The A:TLA and Voltron fandoms alone have made me concerned about creators personal safety cause how dare these two specific characters not bang. But this isn’t about that, this is about the ships I have enjoyed. Ones I grew up on, ones I got into recently, and ones that have stuck with me throughout the highs and lows. Which can perfectly describe true love, sticking together through everything throughout the good and the bad.

So without further ado, let us begin!

#10. Tommy Oliver and Kimberly Hart (MMPR)

Even before I knew what shipping was, I loved these two. Like a lot of 90′s kids, I grew up on Power Rangers, and I still keep up with it form time to time. Even with my faded childhood memories (MMPR came out when I was like... six months old), I remember adoring these two. No specific reasons why, I just remember seeing them to all the stuff that even as a kid, I knew that couples did. GO on dates, give gifts, kiss each other, all that cute stuff. They were happy together and while the characters are kinda bland, their chemistry worked really well. Even now as an adult, as cheesy as the original show was, I still squeel whenever I see Tommy and Kimberly just talking or kissing. It was just sweet, and I loved them... even if after Tommy became the leader, Kim fell into damsel in distress mode more and more, but hey she still had her awesome moments.

It was also the first ship I had that got royally screwed up by the writers! Kim left the show because her actress wanted to quit, which is fair enough and it was handled very well. What wasn't handled well was in the Zeo season, they had Kim send a Dear John letter and break up with Tommy off-screen cause she found another guy. Why? To That Tommy can hook up with the current Pink Rangers. Now I have nothing against Cat, she was a perfectly fine character... bUT THIS WAS STUPID. No build-up, it’s done out of nowhere off-screen, it caused a rushed/forced romance that no one wanted, and considering Tommy appeared in the future and was single, it went NOWHERE. If they wanted a romance, they had plenty of other options. This was a HUGE middle finger to everyone who cared about the characters imo, and I am still bitter about it. In my mind years later, Tommy and Kim hooked up again and IDC what that one Christmas episode said. That is my headcanon, and I am sticking to it until I die.

So yeah, Tommy and Kimberly. My very first ship and it still holds a special place in my heart. Couldn’t make this list and not mention it.

#9. Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable (Kim Possible)

Tommy/Kimberly was my first ship... but as a little kid, I wasn't that invested in it. I just saw them do cute couple stuff and found it cute. But Kim and Ron? I watched Kim Possible since the day it premiered. I got to watch their relationship form beginning to end. I imagine that most have seen KP, but for those who don’t, Kim is a spy why can do anything while Ron is her buffon best friend/sidekick. Kim is confident, strong, and popular while Ron is goofy, easily scared, and very clumsy. But Ron is also more grounded to reality and capable of normal things like working in fast food or cooking, while Kim constantly stresses over things like romance and at accomplishing everything. Two very different people, yet they complete each other. Kim can get Ron to stand up for himself, and Ron can bring Kim down back to earth. It’s really funny when we see how they met, where Kim was very insecure and Ron stood up for her, and it was that act that provoked Kim to fight back.

Throughout the series, they bicker a lot but are there for each other. Ron helps Kim on her missions despite his incompetence, and Kim appreciates him for that. Ron supports Kim through situations like talking to a boy, even if he doesn't necessarily get what she sees in them. There’s always been this underlying theme that they might have feelings for each other with things like A Sitch in TIme and the episode Emotion Sickness really emphasizing their relationship/potential feelings. It finally came to a head in So the Drama where Ron fully realized his feelings when Kim got a ‘perfect’ boyfriend. It has Kim stressing over prom and not wanting to go with he r’just a friend’ Ron, Ron feeling alone cause Kim barley pays him attention in a way that’s sympathetic and not asshole-ish, and it ends with Ron helping Kim back up at her lowest point, Kim realizing how Ron had always been there, and... well look at the screencap I used to see how it ended.

Kim and Ron complete each other. They bring out the best in each other and bring them back down when they go too far. They bicker, but they also support each other, even if they don’t always like what the other is doing. We get to see them together at their best and their worst, and it ends on a very satisfying note... and then S4 happened, but meh. It’s still a great ship with two really good characters, and ho boy do i still love it.

#8. Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste + all other subsequent combos (Miraculous Ladybug)

Probably no surprise to my followers that this is on here... but some may raise a brow that it’s only at eight. To put it simply, with how the show has been going as of late, I have a LOOOOT of issues with it right now. But I want to use this to praise ships I like, not break them down so I’ll save that for another day.

This one is cute. Marinette is a good-hearted girl who has a huge crush on Adrien, while Adrien is in love with Mari’s superhero identity Ladybug. And with his hero identity of Cat Noir, we have one of the most insane love triangles in history. Adrinette, Maricat, Ladynoir, Ladrien, you get so many flavors of ships with just these two people! My favorite version is Ladrien since it’s the most natural imo and the one with equal pining, but they’re all the same two people so IDT it matters.

The show is about these two’s relationship. That is the heart of the show. Again, there are problems that I’m not going to go into, but overall I like them together. Marinette can get a little... too into her crush, but we do see that her feelings are genuine and it’s because Adrien showed her some kindness. While Adrien doesn't know that Mari is Ladybug, his feelings for Ladybug are because of her confidence and strength, which he starts to see in Mari too. This is the longest Slow Burn story ever and tbh, I want them to just go ahead and get on with it. But hey, I will find them cute and I like their interactions, so there’s that~

So of course a TMNT ship was going to end up on here. Now I almost put Apritello on here... but nowadays after all the recent stuff in the news, it’s... a little hard to look back on. So I tried to think of someone else, and while I considered Ramona... I decided to go with this:

#7. Hamato Yoshi/Master Splinter and Tang-Shen (TMNT 2012)

One episode.

The show had one episode to show these two’s relationship. Shen had been mentioned in the past, but this was the one and only time we’d get to see her. And OMG, did they pull it off perfectly.

They sold me on this romance in a single episode. Yoshi is a loving husband, but also tied to his fmaily loyalties even if it contradicts what Shen wants. Shen wants a happy life with her husband and child, but has to put up with Yoshi’s indecisiveness and she’s understandably fed up. They do a very good job of showing Shen as a strong-willed woman whose first priority is her daughter but that she does love Yoshi and is understanding. Yoshi is a very flawed person, but he does try to make it work and his love for his wife and daughter are very clear. It’s not perfect, no marriage is. But that love is so clear, and you can feel it every second that Tale of the Yokai plays.

TMNT 2012 has received many critiques in how it handled romance. It went too quick, the girls were reverted to just love interests, the boys are creepers, plenty of things. And they are understandable. But they clearly recognized that if they wanted this episode to leave the impact that they wanted, they had to make YOshi and Shen’s relationship strong. And they did. From beginning to end, you feel for both of them. Shen isn’t just some woman that existed for backstory, she had a personality and independence, which makes you care for her and about her relationship with Yoshi. And therefore, even though you know how it’s going to end, when Shen inevitably gets killed and you hear Yoshi just sob in despair, you’re sobbing right along with him.

So yeah, I love these two. It’s tragic, but beautifully done. I love it~

#6. Edward Elric and Winry Rockbell (FMA: Brotherhood)

For the record, I am specifically talking about the Brotherhood version, not the 2003 version where their relationship went nowhere.

Okay, Ed and Winry. God I LOOOVE them. I know that Roy/Hawkeye is the favorite... but most of their relationship is left implied and open-ended with no actual ‘I love you’ or anything. So even if it was obvious what Arakawa was saying, I... felt like there wasn’t enough to make me care about them as a ship. Not the case with these two!

Their relationship is just so sweet. They’re childhood friends who both go through crap. Winry lost her parents at a young age, and Ed and Al’s mother died of illness and then the alchemy stuff happened and.. yeah. Throughout it all, Winry supported Ed and Al, helping Ed with his automail even when he keeps breaking t and supporting him through his quest to restore his and Al’s bodies. Throughout the series, Ed tries to support and protect Winry, especially when she tries to kill her parents killer and he talks her down. Overtime, they start recognizing their feelings and it was funny, cute, and after all the Hell everyne goes through, something that they deserved.

The ending to Brotherhood, with Ed’s dorky proposal, is still one of the most heartwarming moments in anime period. Ed got the happy ending that he earned, Winry got to be with the boy that she supported through Hell and back, and it felt natural and super satisfying. It promised a happy future for everyone, and like everyone had truly earned their happy ending. We had gotten to see these two together, through both the good and bad, and how far they were willing to go for each other and their well-being. It’s just a super sweet romance, and I thank Brotherhood for existing so that we could have it.

I REALLY wish that I had more same-sex ships on here. But many of the more popular ones either are fetishisized, the actual work never had that intention, or the fandom got so rabid over it that it killed any potential enjoyment for me (looking at you Voltron). Doesn't help that in animation, there’s so few same-sex couples even if stuff like Steven Universe has been helping. But... I was able to think of one that I liked.

#5. Avatar Korra and Asami Sato (The Legend of Korra)

YOu have NO IDEA how happy I was when this became canon. Okay yes, I know that it wans’t said in the show, but Bryke confirmed it and explained why they couldn’t do anything more explict (Nick didn’t want to anger international audiences). As such, I am forgiving of it and still happy that it’s a thing.

While I liked The Legend of Korra (more than A:TLA even if it is the better show), they... sucked at romances. Dear God everything they did with Mako in S1 and 2, I do NOT even want to think over it. Let sput it this way, I got tired of the live triangle so much that I started crackshipping Korra and Asami together because they deserved SOMETHING happy. When S3 had them getting closer, I liked it as I liked seeing two girls just be friends and not over a boy... but I didn’t see it as shippy since I thought that there was no way that Nickelodoen would allow it, plus after the previous mess I didn’t want them to touch romance EVERY again with this series.

Then the S3 finale and start of S4 happened... and I seriously started wondering. Asami was the one specifically reaching out to and helping Korra after what the Red Lotus did. Asami was the only one that Korra tried to reach out to after she went home. They both seemed very happy to see each other again, and much of S4 is focuse don them together as well as the previous one. And, of course, the series ended specifically with them, just as A:TLA specifically ended with Aang and Katata. Like... when Korra suggsted jus tthe two of them went away for awhile and them just looking into each others eyes... yeah, it was obvious what they were trying to do. And I was sold.

I love these two together. Even if it started sour int he beginning, the two grew into close friends as things went on. They were supportive, protective, and caring towards one another at their best and worst moments. They’re booth strong young women who play a huge part in the world and can take care of themselves. Korra may be more tomboyish and Asami feminine, but they learn to respect each other and that slowly shifted into friendship, and ended with two former ‘rivals’ (it was pretty one-sided on Korra’s part tbf) over Mako becoming lovers. For what they were able to do, I thinkt hat Bryke did a good job, and I still love these two to this day.

Alright, I have to put a Disney Princess ship in here. But of course which one to pick? There’s Ariel/Eric, Tiana/Naveen, Aladdin/Jasmine, plenty to choose from. Since Mulan is my favorite, you’d think I’d go with her and Shang... but that really doesn't play a huge part in the movie imo. I did some thinking... and I finally made a conclusion.

#4. Rapunzel and Eugene (Tangled franchise)

Words cannot describe how much I love them. I’ll even go ahead and say it, they are THE best developed couple in any Disney film. Why?

In the original film, they play off each other well. Rapunzel is a naive girl who wants to see the lanterns, Flynn is a smug thief who bolsters himself up. Rapunzel is idealistic and positive, Flynn is sarcastic and more grounded to reality. They’re interactions in the beginning, such as Rapunzel freaking out and Flynn just looking stoic throughout is hilarious. But the movie shows has them grow to understand each other and learn form each other. Rapunzel becomes braver and more independent, while Flynn becomes more selfless and honest, even going back to being Eugene. They both are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for each other’s happiness, their love for each other shining brighter than the sun. THat love saves them both, and that alone is just beautifully done int he film.

Then the series happened, and it became better. Eugene is ready to take the next step, but Rapunzel is scared to and then her hair becomes magic again. Eugene? He accept sit. He’s willing to wait for however long it takes because he loves Rapunzel, and he’ll support her through everything. Even in the series, they both go out of their way for each other and try to support each other in any way that they can. There’s the occasional argument/disagreement, as with any couple, but it’s never devolves into sitcom-esque antics where you wonder why the hell they’re still together. At the end of the day, they are there for one another. Int he S2 premiere, Rapunzel goes to Hell and back to save Eugene form a forced marriage while Eugene makes it clear that he loves her and only her. It’s just SO GOOD to see a couple in a modern cartoon that I like together. Now since Happily Ever After exists, we know that they’ll get married eventually, but I can wait for the show to get there. I love seeing them, and God I aspire to have a romance like theirs one day.

#3. Jaune Arc and Pyrrha Nikos (RWBY)

TIME FOR ONE OF THOSE TRAGIC SHIPS AGAIN

God this ship... THIS SHIP. This was probably THE biggest ship (that isn’t Bumblebee) during RWBY’s early days. Jaune is a loser who forged his way into Beacon and feels like a constant failure... and his lack of fighting skill doesn’t help. As such, he ends up attracting the attention of Pyrrha, a well known and tainted fighter who helps him start to grow out of the kindness of her heart. It became clear that Pyrrha was growing feelings for Jaune... but Jaune was oblivious and crushing on another girl. Despite this, Jaune respected and cared for Pyrrha as he started to learn to recognize others feelings and during a school dance, Pyrrha expressed how Jaune not knowing of her fame and talking to her like a normal person is what attracted her to him. He didn’t treat her like a celebrity who was above anyone’s expectations, but just as some other girl, and that was what she wanted more than anything. And it ended with Jaune asking her... and wearing a dress. It makes sense in context.

Their relation was mutually supportive and provided growth for both of them. Jaune grew into not just a better fighter, but a better person as Pyrrha taught him to be more considerate and to recognize others feelings outside his own. Pyrrha had someone who made her feel normal and accepted as she pursued her goals of being a Huntress to help people. Which resulted in V3 when the Maiden offer comes, and for Pyrrha makes her doubtful and scared of her fate. She can’t tell Jaune, but he realizes that something is wrong and he tries to provide comfort, even telling her that she was the first and only person to believe in him, even over his own family. While it sadly ended badly when Pyrrha’s fears make her hurt him on accident and Jaune feeling like he messed up, it still really showed how much their relationship had grown, and after the Battle for Beacon commenced, Jaune comforted Pyrrha and got her back onto her feet.

But of course, as we know, Pyrrha ended up being killed... but not before kissing Jaune before launching him to safety. It left Jaune not only losing his friend and mentor, but realizing what Pyrrha’s true feelings were as well as recognizing his own. As we see, he struggles with this. How his closest friend lost her life and how much pains he was really in, how he now has to pick up the pieces as he gets lead into something much larger than anyone thought, and having to accept that Pyrhha knew fully well that she wasn't coming back. Thankfully, by V6, he came to realize that Pyrrha did what she did because she was a Huntress and regained his will to continue on, thanking her for making him a better person.

Arkos, to this day, makes me cry if I just so much as think about the end of V3. The two’s relationship was super sweet, Jaune’s idiocy throughout aside, and it was just nice to see these two grow from each other. It’s sad that Pyrrha died, but she went out doing what was right, and Jaune came out as a better person who will keep living his life. If he finds love again, I’m okay with that and it’ll show how he’s moving on as Pyrrha would want him to. But no one is ever going to forget Arkos, and for what we had of it, I’ll always cherish it.

#2. Dexter Grif and Richard ‘D*ck’ Simmons (Red vs Blue)

Okay, we all knew that this was going to be on here. It’s the ship I’m currently most focused on, and even the first I think that I gave a shipping tag to. I have talked about them multiple times. IDK if there’s anything new that I can add because I’ve said just about everything. But I guess in the spirit of things, I’ll go over it again.

This ship has broken every issue with shipping I’ve ever had. I normally don’t ship non-canon pairs, but Dear God I love them. I don’t normally seems fandoms use them just to have hot boy/boy stuff and I have NEVER seen any shipping wars concerning it that turned me off. In fact, fandom is what got me into this ship. When I binged it, I just saw them as two guys who love to hate each other... but the fandom did a really good job in convincing me that they were in love. S15 helped with that with how Simmons reacted to Grif quitting, and Grif clearly missing Simmons more than anyone and even leaving him out when he says he hates everyone later. But since until then the writers seemed uninterested in developing Red Team, I had to turn to fanficiton for it. And many gave them so much depth and their relationship as a result felt so much stronger and meaningful to me. This is the very rare time where fandom concerted me.

These guys are assholes. Grif is a lazy jerk, and Simmons is a kissassing rule-follower. Yet they compliment each other perfectly. They argue and bicker frequently, but it feels so natural and it just... works. And overtime, we see their relationship go from just kinda being stuck together to being actual friends. S16 really showed how much healthier and positive it was as the two matured, Simmons becoming more independent and Grif starting to actually try and work through stuff. Their characters got stronger, and as such theyre bond got stronger. Even if that doesn't necessarily have a spotlight put on it, form just their interactions, you can just see it.

I cannot imagine these two without each other, at least for an extended period. They work great as individual characters, but are even better when together. They balance each other. They, in their weird way, support each other. They have been through nearly EVERYTHING in the series together and they’d absolutely do anything to protect each other. They may suck at expressing all of that, but it’s okay. We all know. I love them, and I just hope that RT will allow it to be canon one of these days... I’ll wait~

Honorable Mentions

Sakura Kinomoto/Syaoran Li (Cardcaptor Sakura)

Greg Universe/Rose (Steven Universe)

Ichigo Kurosaki/Orihime Inoue (Bleach)

Arnold Shortman/Helga Pataki (Hey Arnold)

Candace Flynn/Jeremy Johnson (Phineas and Ferb)

Yugi Mutou/Anzu Masaki (Yu-Gi-Oh)

Ash Ketchum/Misty (Pokemon)

Max Goof/Roxanne (A Goofy Movie)

Mickey/Minnie (Disney)

Various other Disney ships

Inuyasha/Kagome Higurashi (Inuyasha)

Jake Long/Rose (American Dragon: Jake Long)

Superman aka Clark Kent/Lois Lane (Superman franchise)

Robin/Starfire (Teen Titans)

April O’Neil/Casey Jones (TMNT 2003)

Chris Kratt/Aviva Corocvado (Wild Kratts)

Sunset Shimmer/Human Twilight Sparkle (Equestria Girls)

Shining Armor/Princess Cadence (MLP:FIM)

And I’m probably forgetting a lot but this post is already super long and I can’t remember everything, so... onto Number One!

Grimmons was VERY close to being Number One since it is my current obsession. But then I remembered one other... and I HAD to make it Number One. It is something that I have followed along since I learned what fandoms were, and whenever I think of true love... this is the couple that appears in my mind. I could not leave it off, or not give it the top spot. So my friends, I present to you my Favorite Ship:

#1. Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon and Mamoru Chiba/Tuxedo Mask (Sailor Moon)

Ah, Sailor Moon, my first fandom. My childhood. My love. The series that taught me about love... even when I didn’t care about Usagi and Mamoru’s relaitonship. So it being Number 1 is probably a surprise... but I shall explain.

As a kid... and for the most part as an adult, I am more invested in the girls relationships than about Usagi and Mamoru. It doesn't help that in the 90′s anime, it was the standard ‘these two bicker a lot’ scenario and then it felt more like they only loved each other cause they did in the past. Then R had that stupid break-up plot that I still despise to this very day. Fortunately it was better in the following seasons, S was especially overall super sweet, but... well, it felt forced, stereotypical, and like their love existed because of past memories. Even as a little girl... it just didn’t feel right.

Then I read the manga. And it was SOOOO much better!

While I do still find the romance rushed int he manga, it felt much mroe natural. The two don’t argue like five year olds. They took at least a little time to get to know each other, and uncovered each other’s identities BEFORE the memories came back. As such, when they did regain them after Mamoru got hurt, it felt more like the past just strengthened the love. it showed that it would last throughout the ages. They already recognized their feelings prior, rushed as it was imo, and made it feel more genuine. In the subsequent arcs, they don’t have stupid breakup arcs or a forced love triangle in the final arc. There are issues, very stupid opens (Usagi getting jealous of her future daughter for example), but their love stands strong, they support and protect each other, and they just grow stronger as a result.

This is probably THE most famous anime romance in existence, and it’s not hard to see why. Even if I have issues in how it came to be, their relationship is shown as equal and supportive. It has been something that I’ve followed since I was five years old. Flr what I said about the 90′s anime, I did still like it and I’ve only grown to care about it more over the years... even if I still care more about the Senshi. Still, it’s a classic and to me, is still the one and only Miracle Romance

And that is the list! Trying to go through every fandom I was ever into to remember what I shipped was HAAARD. But I really enjoyed making this list and getting to revisit all of them again. I might do more Top 10′s in the future, so if you guys would like to see me do anything specific, feel free to reply/ask me! Thank you all for reading, and Happy Valentines Day everyone! 💕💕💕

#callie reviews #callie top 10's

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bandoms-are-fandoms · 6 years

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Ghostwriter Chapter 4

As much as I would have liked it too, my life did not slow down once I began work for BTS. Day in and day out, we are always on our feet; the boys practice every chance that they get and there is not a moment to even take a break, let alone write a single song. No wonder they went looking for help, every morning we get up before sunrise and every night we end up getting home after the vampires come out. I mean, geez! I thought to be an intern was hard, but I think I'd rather be unpaid and manual labor than do what they do every day.

The work isn't the problem though, every chance the boys got to spend time with me, they did so I could get a better idea of who they are as people. There have been plans canceled and even throwing me in some dressy clothes and making me tag along to big events like celebrity parties. Not that they wanted to go to those either. Suga's face told me that he hated how much a party would turn out to be, but after a party one night, the boys started drinking with me around and I did get out a few little secrets from them.

They each have a girlfriend although I have not met any of them yet. Some of them sound just terrifying though. Suga told me about his girlfriend who was also a Korean Popstar by the name of Mi-Ok, but her stage name was Sinbi which went with her Lolita style (apparently). The thing is that each guy described Mi-Ok as the type of girl who doesn't take very well to being told what to do and they say she is pretty scary with her popstar mask off (she has resting bitch face or so they say).

Jimin explained to me that his girlfriend was a Social Media Consultant and that I would meet her pretty soon. Her name was Mun-Hee and she was some kind of genius. She had finished all of her school by the time she was sixteen and was on the board of her father's company, Bumonim Eum-Ag. That's terrifying to think a girl, not much older than me might I add, sitting on a board and bossing people probably twice her age around.

Namjoon is dating an American girl by the name of Shayla and he explained to me that they had collaborated on a couple of songs before deciding to become a couple. He told me that she was a very relaxed person and went with the flow of the conversation, but that didn't mean she wasn't ready for a fight whenever the time came. He told me that she was having trouble back home with another producer and that I probably wouldn't meet her for a while. The look in his eye though, it held some much affection when he spoke about her.

Eun-Yeong was Jin's girlfriend and she is probably one of my all-time favorite models; he explained to me that she was always busy and he didn't get to see her as much as he wanted, but he was enduring for the time they could actually spend together. She's apparently a force of nature, a real advocate for what she wants and what she believes should be done for future generations of women. She has family troubles, but she pushes through and that's what he wants to convey to her in a song.

J-Hope is with a Latina girl by the name of Carina and he showed me a couple of dances they did together for Carina's dance studio. She was accepted into an academy here in Korea when she was younger and she built herself up from scratch to be able to be the best of the best. I smile as I would watch as I saw his face grow brighter and brighter with each move on the screen and I couldn't help, but notice everyone looked so proud to talk about their girlfriends.

V was dating this girl by the name of Maggie Cho and she was also American, she was their primary translator whenever they needed to travel and Namjoon wasn't around. She's apparently a very shy girl and that's why I haven't met her either. I get a strange feeling these boys are just trying to hide their girlfriends from me, but I don't quite understand why they would do that.

Jungkook is the only one who wasn't really looking for a relationship right now and that is what is going to make writing the hardest on me. Sure, I can take the words that each one has told me about what they've endured with their girlfriends, but it won't be the same as them actually writing the song for them. Jungkook can't even tell me he wants the song to be like, he just said that I should think about how my body would "move for a guy." What do you do with that!?

I sigh to myself as I go over the day's events once more, looking at the notepad in my arms. I adjust my heels, trying to get inspiration from the simple white stilettos, but that pain was nothing about love or body. In fact, even wearing heels is like hating your body, but they're just so damn cute, I can't take it! Scribbling out the words of pain from my blisters, I sigh as I try to think of words to describe love, but what is love?

I've never been in love, only the idea of being in love. Groaning, I switch the notepad behind the tablet I was given that contains today's schedule. The boys were recording an interview and I was traveling with them as their Administrative Assistant to understand who they are as people to be able to write the songs they asked me. We've been up since like five in the morning and I'm already exhausted at ten thirty this morning. They all had to get ready and chastised me as I was getting ready in the car because I held them up, all in good fun though.

I watch them smoothly talk through the interviewer's questions, giving just enough to show who they are, but not enough to ruin the image they've spent on for the last five years. Before bed last night, I decided that I needed to get to know the fans and the boys better with my own research. Apparently, their fans are called ARMY and they have the strongest passion out of everyone for BTS to succeed.

I look down at the schedule in my hands again, noting that our day is packed until at least midnight, if not longer. Every day, these boys are working hard for their fans and for their dreams. It's hard to believe people so young have such an impact on other people's lives. Sighing to myself, I begin to doubt my talents once more.

I have no sense of rhythm and I can hardly rhyme, but when I write, it flows from my fingertips on to a page. Watching the boys clammer off stage in excitement, I place a smile on my face as I had each boy a bottle of water.

"Great job out there!" I praise them, looking at the schedule, "We'll get you guys some food while we wait for the car to come and get you. Apparently were filming something else today...?" I murmur, looking it over.

"It's an episode of Run BTS!" J-Hope informs me, quickly finishing his bottle of water. I look at him with a confused look, scrunching up my eyebrows, "You're really not involved in popular culture, are you?" He teases, grinning at me.

"...I can tell you about American tv shows, some Japanese shows, and Korean drama, but..." I sigh, rubbing my head, "I know absolutely nothing about music."

"I heard you singing in the bathroom this morning," Jungkook pipes up and I can't help, but laugh a little.

"An opening theme song..." I tell them sheepishly. Before our playful banter could continue, my attention was taken away by a tv manager.

"Ms. Tsukamu!" The manager calls, running over to me, "Sorry to bother you, but I need to discuss a few things with you..." The manager takes me away from the group, but I wish I wasn't doing this alone. My head can barely wrap around what has happened in the past week, let alone what I have to say to this manager.

After we finish up at the studio, we make our way to the next stop: filming for Run BTS apparently. Everything is going so smoothly, I figured that the day would end on a high note, but boy was I wrong. We spent hours watching the boys fight in a kimchi battle and eventually, the losers are supposed to clean up. Sadly, Jungkook, J-Hope, and Jimin are the losers and take three years to clean up. While we stand off to the side as these boys begin their punishment, Namjoon pulls me close to him so he can talk to me quietly.

"Have you started on a draft yet?" He asks me and my stomach literally drops to my ankles. At the anxious look on my face, he gives a small sigh, "We can't expect you to be on our level after just a couple of days of spending time with us, but you should have some sort of draft."

"We've just been so busy and I know that's not an excuse-" I began to explain to Namjoon, but he holds up his hand for me.

"I thought what we told you the other night would've helped." He sighs as the boys finish up cleaning.

"You ask me to write a love song based on your experiences," I try to explain to him the impossibility of it, but he just shakes his head at me. Quietly, the eight of us move into the van and head back to our home. Filming had taken all day, so we had to push most of today's events to tomorrow. I glance at the clock on my phone and sigh; eleven fifteen... Where has the day gone?

When we arrived home, everyone began to trudge their way back to the bedroom. Well, everyone except for me; as I watch them all go to their respective rooms, I sit down on the couch taking off my pain filled heels and I stare at the blank tv screen. After only a week of staying with them and I still am not up to par for any matter.

Begrudgingly, I walk into the bedroom I was sharing after making sure both boys were decent and awake so I can grab my pajamas. After grabbing the shorts and the t-shirt, I walk into the kitchen, pulling out one of the tiny cakes I had bought the other night. Moving to the kitchen table, I start to nibble on the sweet treat while staring at the notepad once again.

"Heartbreak..." I whisper to myself, "Enduring... First... Unrequited... Self... Body..." Sighing, I begin to write down whatever came to my mind, but I was a novice when it came to anything about love. I know family love, but I can't even explain all of that... I really am totally useless, aren't I?

Hours seem to tick by as I sit and stare at the scribbles and marks on the notepad, but nothing is coming to me. Usually, when I write, I just let my hand do all the work and let the words flow right out of me, but I just can't write anything that's worthy of being called a love song. How do you even write a song? How do you even write in general?

Frustrated, I throw the pencil down and lean back in the chair. For the first time in a week, I felt like crying again. I can't compete with a global sensation of a boy band; they would get better work from a slug than they would me. I've had script after script thrown back into my face because it wasn't "original enough" or "the characters didn't feel real." The best comment was when a teacher of mine looked over one of my writings for me and told me that I should, "look into a new career path" because I didn't have the talent. I should've just listened to her, but I continued pressing forward, hoping my dream could come true in South Korea. I should've just stayed in Japan and became a simple office work.

My prideful tear ducts refused to let loose even one tear, but I felt the turmoil of emotions turning into my stomach. Everything going on made me feel like I was going to throw up and I was just about to give up for the night when I felt something cold touch my forehead. Blinking my eyes open, I look to see a glass of water above me.

"You need a break," Jungkook informs me, setting the glass down and sitting across from me.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I put on my best smile, taking the glass gratefully as I sipped on it.

"I needed some water and noticed that you were still up," He shrugs his shoulders, drinking his own water.

"I didn't even hear you come in." I realize as I look at him in mild surprise.

"You looked like you were having a moment, so I thought I'd leave you alone for a bit." He chuckles, turning to look me in the eye. His gaze became serious as he steadily held my eyes with his own, "Are you alright?"

Trying to play it off, I smile at him and take a big gulp of water to will my emotions back into their container, "Never better!" I chirped quietly, maintaining the smile.

"You can't bullshit me, you know?" He leans back, crossing his arms. I tilt my head, raising an eyebrow.

"Now, why would you say that?"

"Because you're not okay and you're not fine," He huffs, "You've had the same fake smile on your face since we left the studio. You wanna tell me what's going one?"

For a moment, I felt my smile waver and I was about to spill my guts, but I just can't do it. Feeling overwhelmed by my emotions, I just shrug my shoulders at him, "I'm a little homesick, I guess."

He gives me a look that tells me he's not buying what I'm saying, but I still can't bring myself to saying anything. Quickly, I stand up, making the chair squeal underneath my weight. Giving an awkward cough, I head towards our shared room.

"You can't keep lying. You wear your heart too much on your sleeve," He whispers, but the quiet room allows it to catch my ears. I turn to him and give him one more smile that I could muster up.

"Just because I don't say anything in confirmation, doesn't mean that I'm okay," I mumble to him, "Are you going back to bed?" He shakes his head and I nod mine in return. Quietly, I crawl into bed next to Chi-Chi and fall into a deep, restless sleep.

The next day, we all scramble out of the room and head back to Big Hit Entertainment to discuss the day's plans. The boys haven't eaten, so when we arrive, I retrieve a tray of food that was prepared for them and it was set out in front of all seven boys and all four managers. Just as I was about to leave, Jungkook grabs my arm.

"I have something I want to talk about," He sighs loud enough to catch everyone's attention. He releases my arm and clears his throat awkwardly, "I think, because she's so inexperienced, that Sakka has hit and writer's block."

"Jungkook." I hiss at him a warning tone, but he ignores me flat out.

"So, I want to work with her," He says, cooly. The words that leave his mouth are so nonchalant, I don't think they processed in everyone's minds until a moment later. Nobody made a sudden move and I couldn't help shouting out my response.

"What did you say!?"

________________________________________________________

Author’s Note: I don’t own BTS, but I do own Sakka and her companions. This is loosely like Voltage’s Scandal in the Spotlight and anything associated with that I do not own

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justaddgame · 3 years

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QTE: Waiting Eight Years to Play Bioshock Infinite

May 19th, 2021.

Steam recorded this date as the first time I started Bioshock Infinite, but what really happened was I had fulfilled a long overdue dream.

Bioshock Infinite released in 2013, and at the time I didn’t have a PC capable enough to play it nor the right console—I was a Wii owner. I wanted to play it badly, but there wasn’t much I could do about it then, unfortunately. Such as it was for some of us enamored with this hobby. It was just going to take time before I could invest in it. But biding my time was difficult in those early days. The next chapter in the late Irrational-born franchise was the hot topic of the video game internet. Reviews were racing in from all corners and speculation was white hot as more and more people joined the burning discussions related to the ending. All that time spent waiting to play it myself developed into bunkering down from the spoilers.

Sidenote, if you haven’t played Infinite, go in with as little knowledge as possible. That goes for every game named Bioshock, really. And play them, seriously.

Anyway, years passed and I wasn’t any closer to playing Infinite. In hindsight, my previous PC probably would’ve handled the game well enough. But this was the big one. I wanted to go into it completely unhindered and that momentum continued to build with each passing year. My new PC, which I built in early May this year, is likely eight years beyond Infinite technologically.

Overkill? Absolutely. But I was finally playing one of my most anticipated games. I was going to have my cake and eat it, too.

I completed Bioshock Infinite after a couple weeks on May 30th. As I write this, I have the two DLC episodes, Burial at Sea, downloaded, but I haven’t yet started them. As for the base game, I certainly wasn’t disappointed, and it sits comfortably alongside the others in the franchise in my book. I’ll spare story details for anyone out there interested in giving it a go, which I recommend if you have any interest in narrative-focused adventures. In terms of gameplay, it felt like a nice evolution to Bioshock 2 with some neat twists like the added skyhook for mobility. It’s far more linear than the previous games, but the ride was worth the price. One of my all-time favorite games, Half-Life 2, is similarly operated like a rollercoaster.

Hands and feet are kept in the car at all times, but what’s in front of you is all you need to see.

What I enjoyed most, though, was the experience of diving into a game long after everyone else has moved on—which is harder to come by these days in the age of social media. Some would say there’s this uncontrollable urgency to jump in day one whenever a hot, new game releases that everyone can’t stop talking about—Bioshock Infinite was one of those games. This isn’t exclusive to video games, of course, but they come with the unique challenge of time. When some games can take dozens, if not hundreds, of hours to plow through, that sense of urgency combined with time investment and the fear of missing out is quite the juggling act.

And so, I had fun playing within my own bubble—it made for a better experience, at least for this genre of game. That’s something I think is relatable, especially today. There’s always going to be roadblocks to our free time, especially as we age, so these moments where you can shed just one of those layers of pressure is really nice. Take advantage of it where you can.

#writing #video games #bioshock infinite #bioshock #irrational games #QTE

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iheartgod175 · 6 years

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2018 Netflix Bucket List Part 1: Animation Nation

After watching some of the original Idolmaster today, I felt inspired to tackle my VERY LONG OVERDUE Netflix Bucket List. Although to be honest, two of these that I watched were on Netflix; some of the others I’ve watched and/or dumped were on KissAnime, and the remaining ones were on either Crunchyroll or Hulu. So yeah...not really a “Netflix” bucket list in this regard...BUT PART TWO IS I SWEAR

I decided to start off with the “animation” side of things, since I watch a lot of anime and cartoons, and I felt it’d be good to talk about some anime (and the one cartoon) I’ve finished up. Some of them are from months (or possibly a year back), but I feel like I should still talk about them anyway ^^

So here we go!

Completed Series

The Idolm@ster Cinderella Girls

I liked this one. It was cute, the characters were charming, and I found six of my favorite characters from it (one of them being the Producer). That being said, I can see why it and the characters were seen as bland by other iM@S fans; the show doesn’t do a lot to really develop its large cast. The main beef I had with it was its treatment of New Generations, the group with Uzuki, Rin and Mio. They were the three main characters in the beginning, but then they kinda got shafted mid-season and then suddenly came back near the end again. I do love them (especially Uzuki and Mio; and I’ve warmed up to Rin a bit), but I felt the drama that Mishiro caused between them was drawn out a bit, and that the ending was cute, but rushed. Despite its flaws, this show got me into The iDOLM@STER series as a whole, and I even had my brother interested in it for a while to the point where he started watching it--keep in mind that my brother’s a die-hard Love Live fan. I won’t say that it’s a good gateway point to the series, but I will say that it’s alright for an idol series.

Flip Flappers

My friend @infiniteglorias was watching this show about a year or two ago, and I watched it out of curiosity. I expected it to be a bit off beat, and boy howdy did I get off-beat. It’s bizarre, it’s funny, it’s got some pretty cool scenes, and an interesting villain backstory. It’s also super gay. Like, Symphogear-level gay. And even that’s a stretch; Shirabe and Kirika ain’t got nothin’ on Papika and Cocona. But it’s a good show, even if by the end it got a little mindscrewy.

And I just found out that there’s a Blu-Ray box with an artbook and art cards. R.I.P. my wallet.

BanG Dream!

Back when my brother was annoying the crap out of me with Love Live!, I was desperate to find a good idol series. I had started watching Cinderella Girls, but my brother took to bothering me about that, so I left it for a while (and also because although I enjoyed the show, I found it to be slow in some parts). If I had to describe BanG Dream!, I’d say it’s like Love Live! meets K-On!. I didn’t think I’d like it, and I thought the title name was kinda silly, but I ended up loving it. It really says something when you like some of the music better than Love Live’s...in fact, I can kinda thank this show for pulling me to other idol anime away from LL! and introducing me to other things like Tokyo 7th Sisters, The iDOLM@STER and most recently IDOLiSH7. I loved this show, and I can’t wait to see the OVAs for it. Oh, and I’m patiently waiting for the release date of Girls’ Band Party’s English localization! I might not be able to play it, but I pray it goes well!

LoliRock season 2 (cartoon)

LoliRock’s second season is leagues better than the first one. So much effort was put into making the five princesses stand out in their own ways. We got great songs, great outfits, Dark Talia and Dark Auriana, great episodes focusing on Carissa and Lyna, more worldbuilding, more Lev, great episodes focused on Amaru, and best of all, episodes focused on developing Mephisto and Praxina. That Praxina episode was a hard one to watch, because of how genuinely sweet her good side is--given events in the season finale only made me sadder. About the only gripe I had was Gramorr. He still didn’t do that much to interest me as a villain, although I have to admit his powers were pretty cool. At least he’s slightly better than Hawk Moth from Miraculous Ladybug.

Either way, if you want an excellent example of a great show for girls, watch this (and Ladybug too, if you want). You won’t be disappointed.

The Seven Deadly Sins

I’ve been meaning to talk about The Seven Deadly Sins. But now that I actually have it here, I don’t have much else to say, other than it’s one of my favorite fantasy anime ever (and my favorite happens to be the Record of Lodoss War original OVAs). It’s funny, pervy (but not too pervy, unlike some shows I know *cough* High School DxD *cough*), tragic, awesome, gory and likeable. It’s totally binge-worthy. And it’s one of the few shows where the ships are totally okay; I usually avoid shipping people with people who look like they’re twelve or younger, but the maturity with which the show handles it changed my mind.

And season 2 has been announced. Enough said.

One Punch Man

One Punch Man was great from start to finish. It was awesome and thought provoking for a show that parodies the Japanese superhero genre, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed at a show this much (that is, until Blend S came along). Moreover, it showed how to do an overpowered character right. I haven’t read the manga yet, but I can’t wait for season two of this show to come out!

Kokoro Library

I found this little thing when I was cruising around for an older anime, Cosmic Baton Girl Comet-san (a classic favorite of mine). I saw the opening and dismissed it as a bland show probably based of a visual novel. But curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to watch an episode of it, just to see if it’s as stupid as I thought. Similar to what happened with LoliRock, I took my words back. This show’s a cute slice-of-life show about three sisters who live in the mountains running their parents’ library. The interactions they have with each other and the rest of the town are what make this show. I admit, the first part is kinda slow, so I wouldn’t blame people who dropped it if it was boring, and you can tell this is an older anime from like the 2000s...but it has a great soundtrack, adorable characters, and a really sweet origin story. I would give it a shot and see how you like it.

Currently Watching

The iDOLM@STER (Original)

Move over, Love Live. There’s some new idols in town.

I came across the original iDOLM@STER several times while looking for Cinderella Girls content. I thought nothing of it at first, but as I was finishing the Cinderella Girls anime, I did some research, and learned that these girls were the original generation (similar to how Muse was the original before Aqours). I decided “Eh, I’ll give it a shot. I like iM@S enough anyway; I’ll check it out before Side M, at least.” Gotta say, I am so glad I did. The original iDOLM@STER is leagues and above Cinderella Girls in terms of characters, story, humor and feel (although I still kinda like CG’s score more). In fact, I’ll go as far as to say that I prefer this over the original School Idol Project, which, while I think is pretty good, didn’t feel that spectacular to me, which is why I rank it 5th on my favorite idol anime list. Similar to IDOLiSH7, I don’t have a Best Girl, because pretty much all of them are awesome...although I gotta say that Iori, Hibiki, Makoto, Miki, Takane and Chihaya are my clear favorites, and I love Producer-san, surprisingly more than CG’s Producer-san, who was one of my favorites as well.

If you want to get interested in the iDOLM@STER universe, this is the series you need to watch.

Blend S

Blend S is great. I have never laughed so hard at an anime save for a few. And I love the character dynamic; even Dino’s crush on Maika isn’t really, really creepy since he’s not going borderline pervy like some other shows possibly would. I’m only three episodes in, but it’s been a great ride.

IDOLiSH7

If you can’t tell that I love IDOLiSH7 already, you haven’t seen my blog recently. Eight episodes in, and I’m in love. I can’t say much else other than that, but it’s right behind the original iDOLM@STER as one of my current favorite idol anime.

Glasslip

Glasslip is a little anime I found on Hulu. It’s about a group of friends who go through the trials and pains of first love during summer vacation...oh, and something about the main heroine, Toko, and the mystery dude, Kakeru, being able to see the future through objects--in Toko’s case, it’s through glass objects, hence the title. It’s supposed to be a supernatural romance, but think it does better on the romance, though; their attempts to explain how and why Toko and Kakeru can see the future comes off kinda flat. Honestly, the real reason I’m watching it is for the romance plot between everyone. It’s a bit of a breather between watching shows such as Fate/Zero and Gundam SEED (seen below).

Mobile Suit Gundam Seed (Remastered)

Yes, I realize this pic is from SEED Destiny. But hey, the pic’s cool ^^

Gundam as a series is one of the series I enjoy, but never really watched much of because I was intimidated by the universe. It is massive, and most Gundam anime take place in its own universe. Thanks to some help from my dad (who is a huge Gundam and Macross fan in his own right), I started watching the series again, starting off with one that I found the most interesting, Mobile Suit Gundam SEED. I had started watching it years ago, but I forgot about it. I’m glad I gave this another chance, although I must be careful, because the last Gundam I watched was Gundam 00′s first season, and I binged watched it for hours.

Fate/Zero

I forgot to mention that one of my friends, @infiniteglorias, is a fan of the animated Fate series. I also forgot to mention that my dad is a semi-fan, too. Between the two of them, I became interested in watching the series, and my dad got me into Fate/Zero. I love it thus far, and the characters are pretty awesome. I can’t really say much else about it other than that, honestly...other than that I’m a complete newbie to the Nasuverse ^^

Shows I Need To Get Back To

Senki Zesshou Symphogear AXZ

I was following AXZ, and then that delay caused me to get off track. I will go back and watch it and include it in my next Netflix Bucket List (hopefully).

Haruchika: Haruto and Chika

Haruchika was an anime I found when I was watching Shakugan no Shana (more on that below). I thought it’d be a high school romance, but what it actually is is a high school mystery with a very, very tiny bit of romance...and both our male and female heroine are going after their teacher, believe it or not. I don’t find it as interesting as Glasslip, but I feel that I should finish it on general principle before deciding it sucks. Plus, it does have a great soundtrack.

Hunter x Hunter

Hunter x Hunter was a show I started watching around the same time as Lupin III (more on that on my next list). The only reason I’ve put it on hold is because of the above mentioned anime.

Attack on Titan

Attack on Titan was one of those shows that I heard was good, but didn’t watch because of the hype (I swore to myself that I’d stop watching on hype alone after what happened with Sword Art Online and Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha the Movie 2nd A’s). I watched it with my uncle and we both really enjoyed it, going through like 13 episodes. I haven’t watched it with him in a while because we’ve both been so busy, but I have it saved on my list to watch it later.

Future Shows to Watch

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card-hen

The ONLY reason I’m not watching this one is because I haven’t watched the original in years and I don’t remember much of the plot. *sigh*

Macross Delta

Macross is another love of mine. After the amazingness of Frontier, I’m going to give the more recent Macross a try. That’ll probably be after I finish either iM@S or Blend S.

Violet Evergarden

WHEN WILL THIS SHOW COME TO NETFLIX?!

Girlish Number

Girlish Number is another one of those shows that my brother annoyed me about, but I guess I’ll give it a shot to see what he really liked about it.

Magical Girl Raising Project

More dark magical girls! Fun! Well, this should hold me over until I can watch Washio Sumi is a Hero, at least.

The Ancient Magus’ Bride

This is a show I’ve heard was quite good. It’s got some solid production values, and it’s a fantasy, so I’ll give it a shot and see how it turns out.

Shows I’ve Dropped

A Certain Magical Index

I wanted to like A Certain Magical Index, but alas, I found it to be a bit tiresome. At least its magic system and characters are a sight better than The Irregular at Magic High School.

Shakugan no Shana

It’s a shame I had to drop this show, because honestly, I had liked it at first. But then came the incesty bits between the two new villains that were introduced. On one hand, the sister was voiced by Yukari Tamura. But on the other hand, I do not want to see a younger sister slipping her older brother some tongue. Incest’s one of the few things that will make me drop a show like it’s a plague, and that’s what I did with this show. I just couldn’t stomach it.

That is all I have to say for part 1! What do you think? Are there some recommendations you have or do you think I should talk about certain shows more? Let me know in the comments!

Part 2 will be coming soon~!

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recentanimenews · 4 years

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Anime in America Podcast: Full Episode 3 Transcript

The Anime in America podcast, hosted by Yedoye Travis, is available on crunchyroll.com, animeinamerica.com, and wherever you listen to podcasts.

Episode 1 Transcript: In the Beginning There Was Fansubs

Episode 2 Transcript: Robots, Real Estate, & Silvio Berlusconi

EPISODE 3: THE LONG CON(VENTION)

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Disclaimer: The following program contains language not suitable for all ages. Discretion advised.

[Lofi music]

Alright, I’m sure you know the scene: people dressed up as their favorite characters, giant halls packed with toys and hamster plushes, hour-long lines to pack into a room to get a glimpse at creators and actors. Even if you’ve never been to an anime or comic book convention before, you know exactly what they’re like. You’ve seen the photoshoots, read the reports, or probably saw that one episode of Community where they go to an “Inspector SpaceTime” convention. Inspector Spacetime.

Conventions are a huge part of fandom. In 2020 alone, there are 62 anime conventions scheduled for the United States. And that doesn’t even include all the comic book and movie conventions that have anime programming, like San Diego Comic Con. Before all of this, before you could go to a different anime convention almost every single weekend in a year… it all started in a hotel room in Dallas. This is Anime in America brought to you by Crunchyroll and hosted by me, Yedoye Travis.

[Lofi music]

The year was 1983. The inspiration? Star Blazers, the adaptation of Leiji Matsumoto's Space Battleship Yamato that aired in the U.S. in 1979. It was pared down from the original—names were changed, scenes were cut, and the violence was dialed back—but it still became a cult hit. So what do you do when you love something so much you just want to share it with other people? You start a convention.

The idea of conventions was not new, not even in 1983. Science fiction conventions date back to the 30s, but back then it was like, seven dudes in someone’s house reading Isaac Asimov, or some shit like that. Over time, it morphed into something that more closely resembled the modern fan convention formula—fans, panels, dealer’s rooms, special guests, and cosplay, although that specific word wouldn’t enter the lexicon until much later. Soon, fans started organizing conventions for other stuff too, like Star Trek, horror movies, and comic books.

Why was Star Blazers so special though? Up until then, most of the anime shown on broadcast television was episodic. So you could show any episode, in any order, and no one would know the difference. Not so with Star Blazers. By many accounts, it was one of the first serial anime series to air in the United States.

[Star Blazers season one theme]

You had to watch every episode, in order, to follow this rich storyline of intergalactic warfare, cosmic politics, and a brave crew recruited to retrieve technology from a faraway planet to save life on Earth from the ravages of alien nuclear technology. It was the stuff of science fiction dreams, and a lot of people were hooked.

So in 1983, three guys—Mark Hernandez, Don Magness, and Bobb Waller rented some space at the Harvey House hotel in Dallas, booked some merchandise dealers, and hosted Yamato Con 1. Their video room promised one full season of Star Blazers, as recorded off the TV, minus the commercials, and the Space Cruiser Yamato movie in its original Japanese. Back then, not everyone had a VCR because they were still incredibly expensive. The average price of a VCR in 1983 was $500, uh which, given inflation, is more now. So just think- consider that.

And that didn't even count the VHS tapes, which cost $15.99 for a blank 90-minute tape. So just the idea of being able to sit around all day watching Star Blazers with other like-minded fans seemed revolutionary and very costly. Need I remind you, it cost a lot. Yamato Con even had a dealer room, with eight merchants selling everything from model kits to manga. About 100 people showed up, which is a lot when you think about how this was way before the Internet and message boards made it possible to advertise your event on a wide scale.

There is some controversy about whether Yamato Con was technically the first ever anime convention in America, but it’s certainly one of the earliest instances of a con being devoted entirely to anime. At that time, there were already anime screenings at science fiction conventions around the country, and yes, of course, obviously it was a lot of Star Blazers.

[Lofi music]

Here's Jim Kaposztas, who in 1983 convinced New York’s oldest science fiction convention, Lunacon, to start showing Star Blazers in one of their video rooms. Side note, if his name sounds familiar, it’s because Jim is also credited with making the first ever Anime Music Video or AMV, or those videos you used to watch in like 2006 where Naruto would dance to The Pussycat Dolls or whatever it was. In Jim’s case, it was a montage of the most violent scenes from Star Blazers set to the Beatles’ “All You Need is Love,” a tribute to the British TV series, The Prisoner. Which, I’m not sure, I don’t understand how that works as a tribute, but that’s fine.

Kaposztas: My first exposure with anime at conventions was Noreascon Two, that was the 1980 World Science Fiction convention in Boston. There was a group called the “Cartoon/Fantasy Organization,” or C/FO for short, run by one Fred Patten, and he was screening anime in a small room at part of the convention. One of the things that he did was he was showing this movie called Lupin the Third Castle of Cagliostro and he was running a survey for the distribution company, Tokyo Movie Shinsha. So people would come in, they would watch this subtitled movie and then fill out forms, but other than that he was running all sorts of anime that was popular in that time frame from a lot of the early giant robot shows, to Space Pirate Captain Harlock, some of it subtitled, some of it not.

Yes, before the internet was dominated by our very privileged sub versus dub debates, some fans didn’t have a choice but to watch anime in its raw Japanese.

Kaposztas: Back then, there would be people that would narrate it which, from time to time it’d be like part right, possibly right, and bordering on some Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Okay. Let’s take a quick trip back to 1981. Reagan is president, crack is at its height, and Post It Notes were just invented. It’s December, Philcon 3, and budding anime fans are hungry for anything anime. Jim Kaposztas again.

Kaposztas: They were screening the original Space Battleship Yamato, they were screening whatever they could get a hold of. I’d seen loose episodes of Space Runaway Ideon, Mobile Suit Gundam, and a lot of the times it was people figuring out “okay, this is what’s going on in the show,” and such. Usually there would be parties like on Friday nights and Saturday nights, people would put up little signs. In the case of Gammalon Embassy it’d be a picture of Deslock that says “Gammalon Embassy, Room Whatever!” And it’d be somebody with a VCR and a bunch of tapes and they’d show stuff and try and explain it to people. Used to get like 20-30 people packed into a hotel room, staring around a small television monitor.

Jim Kaposztas was addicted. He went to Lunacon in 1982 in costume, dressed as Captain Avatar--the first commander of the starship Yamato--complete with the beard, and all the other stuff. I don’t know what that guy looks like, so I wish I could give you more information, more of a visual. But you guys have Google.

He runs into a guy named Rob Fenelon who tells him, "Hey, I have all these Yamato tapes from Japan, but no VCR," so Jim drives the 30 miles home, just to get his giant VCR, and drives all the way back. They screened Space Battleship Yamato all Saturday night, then they do it all over again on Sunday morning. Months later, Rob gets in touch and says, "Hey, why don't we put together a video room at a convention?" They made a bunch of contacts, screened some anime with the local Star Blazers Fan Club, and a year later, at Lunacon 1983, started what eventually became known as the Star Blazers Video Room. And to fill time between screeners, he would include anime music videos, the aforementioned anime music videos. The first one he made took hours to make, and required the use of two VCRs. And thus was born the AMV, all thanks to Star Blazers.

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, where it was actually a lot easier to stumble upon manga in the wild thanks to the large Japanese-American community, Fred Patten was doing his best to raise anime into the limelight. Patten, who tragically passed away in 2018, was one of the godfathers of the American anime scene, spending a lifetime promoting and writing about anime and manga.

In 1977, he co-founded America's first anime club, the Cartoon/Fantasy Organization or the C/FO for short. Around that time, he even became friends with Osamu Tezuka, who was "bewildered but flattered" that so many American fans took the trouble to figure out the plots of his manga, for a language most of them couldn't read. Tezuka was so flattered, in fact, that in 1980, he convinced Devilman creator Go Nagai, Lupin the Third Creator Monkey Punch, and a couple other manga artists to go to San Diego Comic Con with him to check out the American manga fandom for themselves. That same Comic Con, both Tezuka and Patten were presented with Inkpot Awards—Tezuka for the film Phoenix 2772, and Patten for “Outstanding Achievement in Fandom Services and Projects.”

So while anime video rooms, Japanese guests, and even anime conventions have been around since the 80s, it wasn’t until the 90s that the convention landscape as we know it today really started to take shape. And once again, it started in Texas. As things seem to do.

[Lofi music]

Once again, there’s a little bit of controversy on which convention was technically the “first” anime con, but Project A-Kon is definitely the oldest continually running anime con in the U.S. that still exists today. The first one took place the weekend of July 28, 1990 at the Richardson Hilton in Richardson, Texas, and had an attendance of 380 people, which if you remember earlier, 100 is a lot. So now it’s 3.8 times that.

According to its flyer, it was the “first animation con run BY fans, FOR fans,” with guests like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animator Louis Scarborough, Jr., Animag editor and publisher Trish Ledoux and Jeffry Tibbetts, and celebrated Disney animator Tex Henson. Tickets were only $4 a day, $6 for the weekend, and included access to two video rooms, a masquerade dance, a dealer’s room, an art show, a model contest, and something called… Japanimayhem, which they described as a “LIVE”—all caps—”anime-style RPG”.

All that at $4 a pop, obviously your next question is “What is Japanimayhem?” What the fuck is that? Who knows? Japanimayhem was a card game released in 1989, designed by Mark Camp and Stephen Grape, with the alluring subtitle, “A Game of Violence on Video for Anime Lovers.” Basically, players represented parodies of anime characters who competed to see who can rack up the most victims in a killing spree. Which… hmm. For those parents who blame violence on video games, here’s a little bit of fodder for you.

But I digress. Back to Project A-Kon. Hopefully you still remember Star Blazers from... literally two minutes ago? It is the anime that inspired so many anime video rooms and fan gatherings in the 80s? Well, it was also partially responsible for Project A-Kon. When Star Blazers was being rerun on TV in 1982, it inspired a high school student from Denton, Texas named Derek Wakefield to turn his science fiction club into a Star Blazers fan club. Thus, the EDC—the Earth Defense Command— was born. The club grew in size, eventually putting Derek in touch with the Star Blazers Fan Club in New York—the same fan club that Jim Kaposztas and Rob Fenelon worked with to organize a small screening of the series before they launched their own video track. And now you see how everything is all related.

[Lofi music]

1983, Yamato Con. EDC wasn’t involved with the event, but some of the members did show up and distribute flyers for the club, and one of those flyers found its way to an attendee named Meri Davis, who not only went on to later head the EDC… but also Project A-Kon. You see, by the late 1980s, the EDC had morphed from a Star Blazers fan club to more of an anime club in general. A really organized anime club, that had regular meetings, local chapters, fan zines, newsletters, screenings, and a tape distribution service that helped the anime scene in Texas grow like wildfire. So when one of them said, “I wish we could put on an anime con,” the wheels started turning, and from that Project A-Kon was born.

Once again, everything always comes back to Star Blazers. By the way, if anyone wants to learn more about this time period, you should definitely check out Dave Merrill’s blog, “Let’s Anime,” which is a great resource on that entire era. We’ll drop a link in the show notes just so you can check that out, ‘cause we’re nice people.

By 1990, the anime scene in America had really taken off. Thanks to the efforts of all the dedicated fan organizations, the growing availability of VCRs and fansubs, and writers like Fred Patten, Trish Ledoux, and Helen McCarthy, who was spear-heading the anime fan movement in the UK, anime in America was getting to be a big deal. So big that even the Japanese studios were starting to pay attention.

To tell this story, we gotta jump back to the 80s once again. You might be familiar with the name Studio Gainax. They’re the Japanese studio behind legendary titles like Neon Genesis Evangelion and Gurren Lagann. Well, the founders started animating as a hobby, creating short videos in 1981 for an Osaka sci-fi convention nicknamed Daicon. Like many cons, it was a pure labor of love. At that same con, the group of fans also had a table where they sold garage kits, which were these small-batch resin models that would only be available for a limited time at certain conventions. They were so successful that the following year, they launched a company called General Products, with the goal of making model kits that were actually licensed. At the same time, they continued animating under the name Daicon Films.

[Daicon IV Opening]

This was before the two officially combined to form Studio Gainax, one of the first studios that had animation and merchandising under one roof. And General Products was actually really successful. They had two brick and mortar shops in Japan, and they helped organize the Wonder Festival in 1985, a toy and figure show that still runs twice a year today.

At some point, it made sense to expand overseas. Gainax’s animation division had already dabbled in the US market in 1987 with a movie called The Wings of Honneamise, a coming-of-age tale set in an alternate world about a man who becomes the first person in space, amidst political turmoil and conflict. It’s a love letter to what humans can achieve when they dream and work together, but that’s... not really what American audiences saw. The version that premiered at Mann’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood was heavily edited, hastily dubbed, and renamed Star Quest. And it umm… it didn’t do too well. It bombed. And it basically disappeared until it was re-translated and re-dubbed in the 90s. But General Products wanted a piece of the American fandom pie, so in 1989, they launched GPUSA. They stuffed the catalog full of shiny new anime merchandise, but they wildly overestimated fans’ interest in their products. For starters, a lot of those titles hadn’t even made it overseas yet, so anime fans had no idea what they were even looking at. So due to poor planning, GPUSA flopped and closed its doors a few years later. But not before they sponsored… AnimeCon.

You might better know AnimeCon by its modern name: Anime Expo. Kind of. Which, I’ll get to it later, it’s… you’ll understand soon. AnimeCon was run by Gainax, Studio Proteus, and two anime clubs: UC Berkeley’s Cal-Animage, and Bay Area’s CA-West. It was scheduled for three days, starting August 30, 1990, a couple of months before I was born, at the Red Lion Hotel in San Jose, California. Because of Gainax’s connections, they were able to get an incredible line-up of Japanese guests, including Kenichi Sonoda, Katsuhiro Otomo, Haruhiko Mikimoto, Gainax’s own Yoshiyuki Sadamoto and Toshio Okada, and amazingly, Leiji Matsumoto. And just a quick round of applause for getting all of those names in one go, first take.

Before we get ahead of ourselves—Matsumoto ended up cancelling his appearance, but the convention was a huge success regardless. It drew around 2,000 attendees, in comparison to the previous 380 and 100 figures that we dropped earlier. That was five times more than Project A-Kon 2 that same year, which had about 500 attendees.

Sadly, there never was an AnimeCon 2. They just ran out of money, they went broke. But from the ashes of AnimeCon rose the SPJA, the Society for the Promotion of Japanese Animation. A collection of Bay Area sci-fi and anime fans, they officially incorporated in April 1992 under the leadership of Mike Tatsugawa, who in 1989 had co-founded Cal Anime Alpha at UC Berkeley. They struck an agreement with AnimeCon to purchase their assets and obligations, and on the Fourth of July weekend, 1992, they put on the first ever Anime Expo. But all was not good in paradise.

[Dramatic music rises in the background]

There was a generational rift in Bay Area fandom, and it split into two camps-- East Bay versus South Bay, C/FO versus Cal Animage, the new kids on the block. The result was two competing anime conventions scheduled for 1993, held on back-to-back weekends, only 40 miles apart.

[Dramatic music fades]

Anime America was set to take place the weekend of June 25 at the Santa Clara Convention Center. Anime Expo was scheduled for the following week, July 4th weekend, at the Oakland Convention Center. It seems like July 4th is a bad time to host an anime thing, but maybe that’s just my opinion, and maybe I’ll be proven wrong in the next couple paragraphs.

Anyway, the industry was not pleased. In fact, they flat-out refused to support both conventions. In December of 1992, Viz founder Seiji Horibuchi wrote the con chairs of Anime America and Anime Expo a stern letter, pleading with them to either make nice or separate their events.

Here’s a little snippet of the letter, which was co-signed by publications and companies like Bandai, Shogakukan, Studio Proteus, Animerica, Animag, and of course, Viz.

[Piano music plays throughout]

“Dear Convention Chairmen,

We, the industry professionals listed here, do not believe that there should be two ’93 Bay Area anime conventions in close time proximity. It’s as simple as that… Japanese guests don’t have time in their busy schedules to attend two conventions. Retailers don’t have the resources to set up for two conventions. And there’s no way the fans (those outside the Bay Area, anyway) can afford to come to both cons… We’re writing to let you know we’ve talked among ourselves, and that we’ve all agreed that unless (1) there is only one Bay Area anime convention, or (2) Anime America and Anime Expo are separated by time and/or distance, we all withhold our support from both conventions… We would like to hear from you by January 8, 1993—a new year for a new convention. If we don’t hear from you, we’ll have to assume you do not wish our support… Please, won’t you consider our proposal? We don’t think we’re being unreasonable. We freely offer you our full support—the combined forces of the entire American anime industry—if only you’ll put aside whatever has been holding you back and do what’s right.”

So, they were not- they weren’t mad. They were just… disappointed, I guess. That’s a lot of words to just say “Hey bro, chill! Relax. Move the conventions. What are you doing?” This could’ve been a Tweet. It could’ve been a Tweet.

Spoiler alert, both conventions went on as planned, both had Japanese guests, and both had attendance counts north of 1,000 people. So… suck it, anime industry! Ha-ha! Both had an industry presence, as well, with A.D. Vision, informally known as ADV, opening their first preorders ever at Anime America for their subtitled release of Battle Angel. And surprise, Seiji Horibuchi ended up going to both conventions. Look at that, look at God.

Even with the fan interest, it became clear to the SPJA that change needed to happen. In 1994, they moved south to the Anaheim Convention Center, a few blocks away from Disneyland, of all places, and they’ve stayed in Southern California ever since. For the most part, they’ve always taken place on or around Fourth of July weekend. One big change, of course, is that it’s a lot bigger now. Last year, they reported around 115,000 unique attendees. For reference, that’s about the same number of people who live in the entire city of Berkeley. So [exhale]-hWow that’s umm.... that’s a come up, right there. That is a come up.

Sadly, Anime America closed its doors after its 1996 event, but the Bay Area isn’t without anime cons. These days, there’s about a half a dozen events that fans can go to scattered throughout the year.

The 90s were a really great time to be an anime fan. It’s nothing like it is now; fans are just straight up spoiled now, they got everything. All their anime streaming on demand, all the Hulus and the Netflixs. But the 90s were really good. Anime was getting distributed left and right, and you could even pop down to your local Blockbuster or Hollywood Video and rent a tape for a dollar. For the younger listeners, Blockbuster is like… it’s like Netflix, but you had to umm... you had to look a person in his face when you rent porn. [Silence] It’s like that.

[Lofi music]

Even though it was a lot easier to find anime, the best place to watch it was still anime conventions and your local anime club. Thanks to fansubs, tape trading, and pooling resources, clubs often had access to the newest shows and a vast library of titles they would routinely lend out to members. And because they already had experience booking venues for screenings and communicating with other clubs, it made sense that clubs all over the U.S. would eventually arrive at the same conclusion—let’s start an anime convention.

A few weeks after Anime Expo 1994 hosted a 2,000-attendee convention in Anaheim, all the way in Pennsylvania, a much smaller fan gathering was taking place. Started by four guys from the Penn State anime club, it was held at the Penn State Days Inn, in State College, Pennsylvania from July 29-31, 1994. They called it [Sparkling]… Otakon! Guests included comic artist Robert DeJesus, a handful of professional and fan translators, and notable members of the local anime community. Like most anime conventions, it also included screening rooms, panels, a dealer’s room, model competitions, and other now standard events. By official count, it had about 350 attendees. They weren’t going for a huge, record turnout, though. They just wanted to go to an anime convention that was efficient, well-run, and had stuff that they liked. Prior to planning Otakon, the founders had just attended a different convention, and on the way home, got to talking.

Monroe: They went to the convention, and I can’t remember which one it was, it’s on the website somewhere, and it was the four fathers, the four guys in the car. It was Bill Johnston, Mitch Hagmaier, Dave Asher, and Todd Dissinger. And the convention they went to was very, very small, but it was also apparently very badly organized, and as they were driving back from the con, they were saying “you know, we could do a better job,” and then they decided to do it.

That voice you hear is Sue Monroe. She wasn’t at the first Otakon, but she heard about it from her cousin Matt Pyson, who did go. She ended up going the second year, and she liked it so much, she asked to be on the staff. She’s been on the staff ever since, and even served as Otakon’s first female president and Con Chair in 2002.

After that first year, Otakon just kept getting bigger and bigger.

Monroe: Every year, the whole plan was “we can do better.” So we would sit down after the con and we would talk about all the things that hadn’t worked out and how could we fix it so that that wasn’t going to happen again? And by the time that I was Con Chair, we had 17,000 people, we were at the Baltimore Convention Center.

Monroe: For a while there, we were increasing at an exponential rate, because each group took something that they were interested in and just focused on making that better. Every year, it was something else that they were going to do to fix things, make them more efficient. And the whole idea was that it’s by fans, for fans, so we looked at what we would want if we were going to a convention, and we tried to make it as much like that as possible.

In 2001, Otakon surpassed 10,000 attendees. By 2004, that number had shot up to almost 21,000. Which is fucked up.

Monroe: We didn’t have enough staff to handle everybody. We had to make sure we had enough people, and since we’re an all-volunteer staff and we’re a little picky about who we bring on to staff, we just couldn’t handle that many people. We also had no room. People were very, very- well, that was also around the time that yaoi paddles came out.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Right. Yaoi paddles. Cool. Look… bro, if you know, you know. I don’t know what to say. They’re umm… they’re kinda like umm… fraternity initiation paddles- you remember the paddles they had at frat houses they would hit you with? It was that, except they said “YAOI” on them in all caps, which is a call-out to a popular genre of manga and anime featuring romantic and oftentimes sexual relationships between men. It’s gay anime, why are we saying… it’s a lot, why’re we saying it like we’re Republican Congressmen?

They were sold and popularized by a doujinshi vendor, Hen Da Ne, but if you follow the Internet crumbs back far enough, you’ll find the actual source, a woodburning artist named Mike who goes by the online handle Akicafe. In a Cosplay.com thread from 2004, he posted the origin story of the paddle. He said it started out as a joke between himself and the owner of Hen Da Ne, since a big chunk of the company’s business relies on the sale of yaoi manga and doujinshi. So he crafted the very first yaoi paddle, with nice wood burned letters, and a high gloss acrylic finish. Apparently Hen Da Ne liked it so much, they decided to mass produce them, much to Akicafe’s dismay and without his final consent. [Sarcastically] Haha, ain’t that fun, how that works?

So the paddles took off. They were sold at every convention that Hen Da Ne was at, and for a while, everyone was happy. Until people started misusing their powers. Unruly fans ran around, smacking strangers with wooden paddles, and throwing them at each other. This was around the same time “glomping” was a popular thing— and glomping, if you don’t know, is when fans would just run at each other and tackle people with bear hugs. Very violent practice. It all came from a good place, or course—it was genuine fan excitement and love for their fellow fans—but it also got to be too much. People were getting slapped and hugged without consent, and it became kinda a problem. Like, a big problem.

Monroe: We had a lot of glomping going on back then, so you’d have people running through the hallways, well not running because you couldn’t run, it was too crowded, and throwing themselves on other people. It just became very… it wasn’t fun, and if it’s not fun, why do it? When I was Con Chair in 2002, I’m the type of person who reads all of the reviews, so after 2001 I read all the reviews and I marked all the things that were problems that people had complained about in the reviews. And we used to do that every year. And then we tried to fix them, tried to make things better. But we were getting to the point where we couldn’t do that because the absolute problem was we had too many people there. It was just too full. The downtown area liked us, although it got to the point where the people at Burger King didn’t want to work on our weekend anymore, because we always shut them down.

By 2005, Otakon started capping their audience at 22,000, which is a good problem to have. The year after, they raised it to 25,000, and it just got to be too big. But despite some grumblings here and there about crowding and wait times, fans still loved it. Anime conventions had gone from being local gatherings to bucket list fan destinations. They were even hosting music concerts for legendary acts like Yoko Kanno, T.M. Revolution, and L’Arc~en~Ciel. Even Japanese fans started coming to America, just to check out these conventions.

The industry was happy, as well, and Japanese guests loved having a reason to come to the U.S., and they loved being able to meet their American fans in person. Guests like Madhouse co-founder Masao Maruyama liked Otakon so much, he’s been back 15 times since his first guest appearance in 2001. He’s even listed as an honorary staff member, which is insane. Although that origin story is kind of wild. We’ll let Sue tell that one.

Monroe: In 2002, which was my year, was his first year as a guest. And it was a wonderful time and he was a wonderful guest, but at one point somebody stole his pack that had all of his electronics in it. They just walked in while he was doing a panel and walked off with it. And his passport was in it. And it had been such a really excellent con, and here was the most terrible ending we could think of to it. And Maruyama-san voluntarily came to the Dead Dog-

For reference, the “Dead Dog” she’s referring to is slang for an informal party on the last day of a convention. It’s not quite as bad as it sounds. Maybe worse.

Monroe: We were trying to get the Japanese guests to be a part of the Dead Dog after the con, so that the staff, who worked throughout the entire convention and didn’t get to see all of stuff that the fans, the rest of the members, did, that they would have an opportunity to interact with the Japanese guests. So he was at the Dead Dog, and we discovered that this had been stolen. So a number of us went back to the BCC and it was like one of those Keystone cops things, we drove back to the BCC and we had 35 minutes that we were allowed to be in the building before our contract ran out. And we searched and searched and we went in to the- you know that wall that moves to close off a room? Well that’s where we found his bag. They had taken the electronics, but they left his passport and his tickets because they didn’t find it. So we found that five minutes before we had to be out of the building.

Luckily, no one else needed to lose their passport to be convinced to keep coming back. They just liked it. And the American market was growing really fast in the early 2000s. It was at its highest around 2002/2003, when the anime-related market in North America was valued at about $4.84 billion. Home video sales hit a high of $415 million, and fans could even buy anime at mainstream retailers like Walmart, or watch it on Cartoon Network.

Even with all that, they still kept going to anime conventions. And where the fans were, the U.S. anime distributors were, as well. Companies like Geneon, Bandai, Tokyopop, Viz, and ADV were setting up massive booths at shows like Anime Expo, which hit 25,000 attendees in 2004. Its enormity stunned long-time fans like Fred Patten, who wrote that the event seemed to “flood and overflow the Anaheim Convention Center.” He blamed the “unexpectedly poor management” as much as the crowds, lamenting that registration lines the first couple of days were four to five hours long.

Even more surprising for fans who had grown up in the era of tape trading, 2004 was the first year that anime distributors started publicly cracking down on pirated and unlicensed anime DVDs. During their Anime Expo panel, Bandai announced that they were bringing legal action on four dealers caught selling bootleg DVDs. Several other exhibitors were given warnings to remove all their counterfeit merch, and those who didn’t were kicked out and banned from the dealer’s room.

In just a decade, Anime Expo had gone from a dueling Bay Area fan convention to the largest anime con in America. [Convention music fades in] American distributors started jockeying for power, building bigger and louder booths, hosting mini concerts, and holding autograph sessions of their own. Part of it was advertising to attendees, but part of it was just to impress their business partners in Japan. [Music ends] Because so many business licensors also attended Anime Expo, it kinda turned into a… what’s the word? A pissing contest. A contest for piss.

Heiskell: It’s all Anime Expo, that’s all it is. I mean, if you go to Otakon, no one has big booths there. And then if you go to- it’s just Anime Expo is the only dick measuring contest now. And it’s gotten to the point where it’s two levels. The first of them, and then the second tier.

That’s Lance Heiskell. He was at Funimation for 13 years, first as a Senior Brand Manager, then eventually the Director of Strategy.

Heiskell: And you know, Anime Expo just makes money off of that, because to be within the corporate liensors, if you have a big booth it means that you are a, to them, you’re a big anime company. And we didn’t have a big booth until I kind of forced the issue of Fullmetal Alchemist. It’s like this is a huge show, we need to bring our- we had a corporate booth, but it was more for licensing show. So we retrofitted it for Otakon, and that was in 2004 whenever Lark and Show was there, and then our booth was- I mean, sorry, our first episode was the opening act. The first dub. And then you had all of this Japanese press there, covering Lark is Dale, covering Fullmetal Alchemist, we had like Aniplex there, and we had to have a booth. And so that was the first time that we had a big booth. Then the next year after that, I think that’s when Adam started doing the conventions, because Anime Expo we had our first like big boy booth, and that was Tsubasa was that first big booth for Funimation. I think the big booth era, I think the height of it was probably 2004, because I know that it was- yeah, it was probably 2004, 2005, because I just remember Tokyo Pop’s Monster House booth, and then it was right next to Bandai, and I remember Jerry Chu just blaring noise from speakers towards Tokyo Pop’s booth, and Tokyo Pop doing the same, that when you would walk through, your ears would just be kind of garbled. And then every 30 minutes, you’d hear the drum, they’re throwing stuff off. I do have video of that, of the drum and the throngs of people. I have video from 2005, because the Funimation booth was on the far right side, and ADV’s was on the far left side, and they gave ADV the biggest sighs because their booth was really kind of quiet until the drum. And then you just saw everybody swarming due to the them, with the big drum. So, they invite the press to throw stuff out, or just anybody to throw stuff out. I mean, that would be fun. And then, I mean ADV’s booth served two purposes, because the second level was meeting rooms, meetings with the Japanese licensors. This was before the Marriott, so it wasn’t really a good space to have meetings.

The Adam he mentions is our very own Adam Sheehan, Director of Events at Crunchyroll, who prior to coming over here worked alongside Lance at Funimation for 10 years. They know a lot about anime conventions, because they’ve both been to a LOT of them.

Sheehan: Hi, I’m Adam Sheehan, I’m Director of Events here at Crunchyroll. We do about 12 to 13 events- we attend- Crunchyroll, on a regular basis. Back in the day, when I was young and gungho at Funimation, we did up to about 25, 30. I remember like one month, I was doing one every single week for four or five weeks in a row, and I was a shell of myself at the end of it. So I was like “I’m getting too old for this, so I basically need to figure out a better way to do it,” and also, we actually focused on doing more at less, so instead of basically doing the same thing over and over again at multiple cons of different sizes. We pick or choose our ones, and then do a LOT at it, like a bigger activation. More guests, larger panels, and things like that.

Looking at Anime Expo’s attendance numbers, you wouldn’t guess that there was actually a period of time where the anime industry was kinda shaky. Right around 2006. Anime companies were launching 24-hour on-demand video channels, they were partnering with Japanese companies to directly license and distribute anime, they were expanding into more and more retail locations, and then… the bubble popped. The home video market went from $375 million in 2005 to $316 million the next year. By 2010, it would only be $200 million. Lance pins the exact apex of the bubble to the first ever North American Anime Awards, hosted in February 2007 by ADV.

Heiskell: That’s when ADV had all the Sojitz money. It’s 2007, and that’s when ADV spent so much money on that event, because it’s New York, you have to hire union camera people, that was just this big thing, and their network was really popular, they had all the Sojitz titles.

And then came the music store closures.

Heiskill: Like 2006, around September, because Funimation launched the anime online website in 2006. In 2006, Suncoast and Sam Goody had major store closures, and that was like the first cripple, because that was Tokyo Pop and it was also Pioneer, with a lot of returns. And then February was American Anime Awards, then one month later, it was- Geneon closed one month later. I mean, the bust was the music industry. The music industry crippled the anime industry. A lot of manga, and a lot of anime, was in- this was in the era when Suncoast was the number one anime retailer. It wasn’t Best Buy, it wasn’t Amazon, it wasn’t WalMart, it was Suncoast. And Suncoast was built on music. And Suncoast was Suncoast and Sam Goody and FYE and it was all the malls. And so this is when malls were still popular, but then you had some of the department stores kind of teetering where malls were still popular. And all the Suncoasts were in the malls. But then when you had the iPod, and you had iTunes, and then you know, you had just everybody shifting to digital on their music, that’s when all these stores kinda needed something else. And so they brought in- they always had anime, but they brought in anime more. And whenever manga got popular, they brought in manga. It’s very similar to when Gamestop brought in toys. Because Gamestop brought in anime around the same time, too. Because they thought it was cool. I mean even Hot Topic- and also they had Fafnir T-shirts at Hot Topic around this time. Fafnir. I saw it with my own eyes, I should’ve taken a picture for evidence. But yeah, so whenever the music- whenever Sam Goody would close a store, then everything in the store would have to be returned. And so this was a lot of manga, a lot of anime, and if you’re closing half your stores and all the anime companies would sell in a lot of product, and it was all- you could all be returned. So if you sold in 10,000 units to Suncoast, and then around that same time their stores closed, then they could say “hey, I need a refund on 8,000 of these,” and if a company just doesn’t have the money, then the anime company is on the books for it. So they owed a lot of debt to Suncoast, and Suncoast and Sam Goody and all of those kept a lot of stuff in their warehouses that they would just do these random returns. And so it was capital, it was cash. And it was the music industry that really hurt the anime industry. It wasn’t streaming, it wasn’t digital downloads, it was the music industry.

Over the next several years, the anime industry went through a lot of changes. Companies like Geneon Entertainment and Central Park Media closed, while others, like ADV, restructured and completely rebranded. Publications like Newtype USA and Anime Insider shut their doors for good, followed a few years by the closure of Borders, which is literally where I used to buy ALL of my manga. Any manga I ever read as a child: Borders. That’s where it happened. Even Best Buy, once a mini-haven for anime fans, slashed their inventory across the country. Now they got that little DVD section that’s only there to sell TVs and Playstations.

[Lofi music]

Somehow, throughout all the chaos, anime conventions kept going strong. Anime Expo kept getting bigger and bigger, hitting nearly 50,000 attendees the same year Bandai Entertainment announced it would stop producing and distributing new titles. The American anime home video market had taken a nasty beating, but fans still wanted their anime, and they still wanted to go to anime conventions. By the late 2000s, it was no longer about marathoning anime in video rooms—fans could already stream anime online, both legally and uh… less legally. Anime was everywhere. The rise of online retail meant that fans didn’t even have to go to dealer’s rooms anymore to get their merch.

What the internet couldn’t provide, though, was all that stuff that’s brought fans together for decades, even back in the early sci-fi days. Just hanging out, meeting people who share a common interest, and also cosplaying.

Okay now, I know what y’all’re thinking. Y’all’re probably thinking “Hey! Hey- hey but, isn’t- isn’t cosplay from Japan? Everybody knows that the world ‘cosplay’ comes from the Japanese portmanteau for ‘costume’ and ‘play.’” But people have been going to conventions and dressing up as their favorite characters as early as 1939, when science fiction editor, writer, and superfan Forrest Ackerman rolled up to the first World Science Fiction Convention (WorldCon for short) in what he called “futuristicostume”, a VERY dumb name.

Everyone was presumably delighted and not weirded out, because the next year, WorldCon had its first ever official masquerade, a tradition that has kept up even until now. The idea of dressing up rippled through different fandoms, from the earliest Star Trek conventions, to San Diego Comic Con, which began hosting its first official masquerade in 1974. Whether or not American science fiction cosplay inspired Japanese fans is up for debate, what we do know is that the word “cosplay” itself was coined by a Japanese writer named Nobuyuki Takahashi in 1983.

But by then, dressing up had already been a popular part of Comiket and local Japanese community gatherings and conventions since the 70s. Whatever the origin, though, the word “cosplay,” it blew up. It’s in this podcast, it blew up. Y’know, this podcast, the pinnacle of fame. Everyone knows what it means, regardless of anime fandom or even comic book nerding, at all. Everybody knows cosplay.

These days, you can hear it on mainstream TV shows, or as the punchline to late-night talk shows. It’s so popular, you can go to your local JoAnn Fabrics, turn the aisle, and see entire displays devoted to cosplay, complete with commercial patterns that look suspiciously like Sailor Moon and Vash the Stampede. Fans who don’t want to sew can even buy entire costumes from overseas retailers or wigs pre-styled for a certain character. Because as I said earlier; these kids are spoiled. They don’t work for shit. Make them do stuff. They all on TikTok. Tiktok? Doin’ the dances.

To get some insight on the ever-evolving cosplay scene, we talked to Charlene Ingram, who’s worked in the industry for 10 years as a marketing director for companies like Funimation, Viz, and Capcom. But some fans may actually know her by another name: Tristen Citrine, a celebrated cosplayer whose impeccable handiwork and love for the craft made her a frequent guest at anime conventions around the world. Her first anime convention was Anime North in 1998, in Toronto.

Ingram: I didn’t even know, honestly, at first, like I heard that they had a masquerade, and I participated in it, but I didn’t know it would be like, such a stage production. And I had from my internet browsing, and this was I mean, this was early late 90s. I had seen some of the earlier cosplay postings and message boards. I remember American Cosplay Paradise was around way back then, Tokyo Cosplay Zone, all of the almost UseNet-looking boards that the Japanese cosplayers would use, I remember looking at their pictures and seeing what they were doing and seeing how they posed and everything like that. But there was nothing like just being there and seeing it. That was… that was the real epiphany that not only were people dressing up, there was the beginnings of kind of a stage production. And it was very, very rudimentary back then. It was a lot of “walk on this stage, and pose” and the MCs back then were more akin to things like something out of like Vaudeville, where they kinda riffed with you and it was very tongue-in-cheek. There wasn’t a lot of huge theatrics, like sometimes people would maybe try to recreate a little bit of a sword fight, or something from a scene of their favorite shows, but it’s close to unrecognizable to what we have today, how much it’s grown and how much it’s matured.

Competitive by nature, she was drawn to the world of masquerade contests. Her turning point was Anime Expo [crowd cheering] where she experienced for the first time fans cosplaying and singing from the Japanese Sailor Moon live action stage plays.

Ingram: There was a Sailor Moon skit, and it was based on something that I hadn’t even heard of at that time. I didn’t know that Sailor Moon had musicals in Japan, and they’d had them since like 1994! And that was amazing, like I didn’t even know it, and these girls were on stage and they were dancing to one of the theme songs from that, and they had all the Sailor Guardians, well not all of them, they just had a few of them, but it was like nothing else in that masquerade. In that Anime Expo masquerade, it was a lot of like what I had seen at Anime North, but to see that singing and dancing, and then all of that glitter and splendor, I knew. I was like “This is the type of masquerade I want to be in, I want to be- like I want to perform, I want to have these big, bodacious things, and I gotta meet these girls.” And I didn’t get to meet them until it was a month or so later, at San Diego Comic Con. I met them, and we started chatting on the internet, and we started laughing and sharing our interests and our love for Sailor Moon and my love for anime and being this new girl on the West Coast because just like moving to Los Vegas, I was very much like a fish out of water, and I was very intimidated by folks from California because growing up, California was this magical wonderland where the best and the brightest and the most beautiful hung out, and I would never be good enough for that. So, just seeing this, just hanging out with these girls and eventually, them inviting me to be a part of the group and learning that I have this sewing ability and all these dreams that I had, it was really, that was really a game changer like I really bonded with these girls and I wanted to do something great and celebrate Sailor Moon together.

Before long, her talent and craftsmanship were being recognized, and she was getting invited to anime conventions as a special guest.

Ingram: Because I really took the bull by the horns, I was very passionate about it and I really wanted to show off my sewing ability with this new genre I was really into. And it started in 2000, and I remember that was my first time I had a guest appearance was AniMagic 2000, and it was in October of 2000. And this was a convention that happened at the end of convention season, when there was still a convention season, and it was a place for everyone to kind of chill and it was out in the middle of nowhere, it was in Lancaster, California, and it took place at this hotel that all the rooms were centered around this pool. And they did the masquerade poolside, so it was very nice and casual, it was kinda like anime camp. And that was the first time I was a guest at a convention. And then I was a guest at Anime North, and then Project A-Kon, and the list goes on and on. But really starting in around ‘98, like actively with cosplay, to get to that point was probably really unheard of by today’s standards.

Busy as she is with work, Charlene still tries to find time to cosplay, though she says that some things haven’t really changed.

Ingram: If you look at a lot of the costumes from back then, the really well made ones, and some conventions now even have exhibits for cosplayers’ costumes, especially from the past and currently. Good sewing techniques have not changed all that much over the years. The process for making things and making things well, especially with fabric craft, hasn’t really changed all that much. Your fundamentals are still your fundamentals, you just have the advent and introduction of a lot of materials, especially your themal plastics and your EVA foams and stuff like that, that have been invented that make different types of things easier. And that’s really cool, I do have a lot of fascination with the new materials as they come out, I always like to buy them and play with them and see what they’re all about, and I do like working with EVA foam, but I just feel like… I almost feel like a soul bond when I’m working on something that is fabric-based.

One thing that has popped up in the last several years, though, is the advent of the professional cosplayer. If you just Google “professional cosplayer,” you’ll get a torrent of hits. Everything from cosplayer influencer salaries, to dozens of “what is it like?” articles, to message boards filled with fans wondering how to break into the career. It’s another side effect of conventions—and cosplay—reaching a high point in mainstream culture. But for Charlene, it’s all signs that we’re living in a magical time.

Ingram: And it is very wonderful that some cosplayers can actually make a living at dressing up and going out and doing events and working events, that’s really rather magical and I really love that side of things. And I’ll say that I love all sides of professional cosplay, be it the spokesmodel type, the event worker type, the just the person at just like you go to Comiket or Tokyo Game Show and there’s a line forever and they have to bring extra security. I love that person. I love the professional cosplayers on Patreon that do pictures and chats and stuff with their fans, and they make their living that way. I even love the cosplayers that are cam girls. I love them, they’re doing- they’re living their passion, they’re living their best life.

Cosplay is now more accessible to everyone than ever before, but it also means that conventions have needed to step up in another way—by making it safer for people to be in costume. In 2014, New York Comic Con became the first major convention to publicly post signs with four simple words: Cosplay is not consent. One of its primary pleas: “Keep your hands to yourself.” No touching, no groping, and please, no gross propositioning in elevators. Basically, don’t suck, don’t be a shitty dude, and remember that under every costume is a fan just like you and me. At its core, the Cosplay is Not Consent movement is about the basic tenets of respect and personal safety. Luckily, it’s grown over time, with more and more conventions adopting their guidelines and declaring their support by posting information around the venues and in guide books. It’s hard to know for sure exactly how much it’s helping the cosplay community—only time will tell—but convention organizers hope it will at least embolden cosplayers to speak out for one another.

Ingram: But the cool thing is now, we have these signs at conventions that say “cosplay is not consent,” and we have this culture where people will say “No!” or people will call it out, or like people will correct each other and that’s really cool. And people will ask for hugs, which is also really cool. Or people will ask what your name is, and not just talk to you like you’re the character. There’s this understanding that there is a human underneath the costume that wasn’t always there before. And I think in that way, that’s also making cosplay a lot more welcoming for folks.

[Lofi music] And she is right. We’re growing and evolving, and so is fandom. As the convention scene gets bigger, our expectations for them are growing, too. Like demanding safer environments for attendees, purging counterfeits from dealer booths, and just holding everyone to higher standards. Anime fans have become a global powerhouse-- driving a market worth $18 billion worldwide. So it’s no surprise that anime conventions have grown with it. What once was just a chance for fans to cluster around a TV and watch Star Blazers is now its own ecosystem, with thriving cosplay scenes, world premieres of brand new anime titles,, concerts with the kinds of mega-stars that sell out baseball stadiums in Japan, dealer rooms the size of those stadiums, and fans who will cross continents and oceans just to hang out with their friends at these events.

There are so many anime conventions that now, instead of just going to the nearest one, fans can even decide which one they want to go to based on their vibe. Like… Anime Weekend Atlanta if they’re really into anime music video contests, or Dragon Con if they want to see some really intricate costumes across different geek genres. Or local hidden gems like Anime Los Angeles, where all the California-based cosplayers debut some of their newest builds. Or… Crunchyroll Expo, shameless plug, where you can be amongst the first fans in the world to check out new titles. From Crunchyroll. By the way, Crunchyroll Expo. Gang? Gang, gang. Squad. Yes. Do it.

Anime has also carved out increasingly large spaces at comic book conventions like San Diego Comic Con and New York Comic Con. There are video rooms that run around the clock, giant publisher booths, autograph sessions, and cosplayers galore. What once was a space carved out at these conventions by dedicated fans, is now a draw to pull in more attendees. There’s even a cosplay contest at South by Southwest, which most people probably know more for its film and music programming.

That’s not to say that anime conventions have fundamentally changed over the years. They haven’t. We just expect more from them now. Here’s Adam Sheehan again, who’s been doing this long enough to really track all the little, subtle changes.

Sheehan: Yeah, the expectations have definitely changed in that, as I mentioned when I found out AnimeCon, I had no idea what it was or that it even existed. But now it’s like you have your shopping list. You got the schedule ahead of time. If you’re looking for something new, you’re aware before you walk in. You’re like “oh, there’s a premier of this show I’ve heard about, I want to show up for that because that sounds neat.” It’s not about walking through the door and going “there’s a bunch of rooms, a bunch of people, let me figure it out.” Because of that, the expectations of what people want are different, almost based con by con. You bring DragonCon up. They do panels, they have what are called dealer’s rooms there, too; but what they’re mostly known for is the cosplay, then evening events. Everyone gets their own theme about it. Expectation for an event level is almost along that line. It’s like Anime Expo, San Diego Comic Con, you know you’re going to get some big news, some big guests showing up. Local con in Florida, you’re maybe not as much, but maybe you were expecting to go and buy stuff. And see, they’re friends, so that basically is almost an event level what people are expecting, so the exploring, if anything, basically has changed from “I don’t know anything, walking in the door, surprise me” to “I have expectations, but there’s still a chance to blow it out of the water by who’s the guest? How good’s the show? How much fun do they have with their friends?” So all those things mixed together is basically what some of the big changes are. It also helps now that anime’s mainstream, it definitely was not mainstream in the 90s, us nerdy little kids in the corners in the clubs had to basically educate other people and say “no, this exists!” Where now it’s like it’s either mentioned like on the Big Bang Theory, or there’s movies about cons, or it’s mentioned like that, so people get the general idea that a convention exists and people go there and that they buy stuff and they meet people and they dress up. So that base knowledge is good for the casual goer, even if it’s just a parent bringing a kid to their first con, they’re like “oh, this is generally what they’re going to walk into.” But you never quite know what you’re going to see. The trends I’m seeing across that since AX’s growth has been just around the overall trends of the anime world. Merch getting better, technology getting faster, or I guess more easier access to, as well as just the overall growth of anime. Like almost every single convention around the nation over the last five or six years has had either stay the same or an increase, there’s been very few that have actually gone down, because anime fandom has just been growing. And we joked at one point--God this must’ve been like four or five years ago, at one point?-- that we were looking like, we did the math and said “oh, if you take every convention around the country, small, large, no matter what size the event, there’s a con every single weekend of the year, including Christmas and New Year’s that you can go to.” So basically if you want do the full otaku livestyle, you could be at a con every single weekend for a straight year, and never stop.

Where are anime conventions going to go from here? Only time will tell. But even during the short history of anime in America, they’ve changed so much that it’s hard not to be excited about their future. So the next time you go to a convention and you’re just standing around, waiting for an autograph from your favorite director or voice actress, take a moment to look around and think about the humble origins of anime conventions. And how it all started with Star Blazers.

Peace.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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sweetwatersound-blog1 · 7 years

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Riverdale S2E7 Review

So sorry this is late. And for the length. And for the way I flip out near the end.

CHAPTER TWENTY: TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE

Well, well. Look who’s trying something new. Riverdale experimented with tone and style in the seventh episode of this season. As a storyteller in my own right, I appreciate the effort for variety. Of course, there were things about it that worked for me and things that didn’t, but let’s get to that in a minute.

What exactly were we all watching Wednesday night? A young adult anthology penned by Stephen King? Or was the dark, tingling quality in the show’s atmosphere a byproduct of fanfiction fumed with Queen hits?

Huh, you say? Let’s break down that observation, in order.

Bert and Ernie Archie and Jughead

Lawyers in general earn a mixed reputation for their practice. I grew up hearing of comparisons to sharks and parasites. But Penny Peabody has carved herself a special box of awfulness here. After all, every snake is a serpent but not all of Riverdale’s Serpents are snakes.

After Riverdale received a message from the Black Hood (his basic blah, “sin and die” stuff) the whole town reacts by…ahem, business as usual?

Betty, evidently distressed by her failure to keep Jughead’s drug-dealing English teacher alive, spent the night in her boyfriend’s arms. He did his best to console, and I could have gone for more than that, but then his phone sang the song of eternal damnation, and he had to run off to appease the Snakecharmer.

Penny, using Jughead’s concern for his father’s welfare in prison to her advantage, promised she can get FP out if Jughead did one little job for her.

Which led to him making a midnight drug run, with Archie as his co-pilot, his conscience torn between his determination to support Jughead and his passive desire to stop him.

Overall, the night was full-moon freak worthy. Jughead and Archie met a man on the road whose interest in the Black Hood suggests that the masked killer has been sending fan mail in the wrong direction. The boys also randomly encountered a set of deer, one bloody and the other bloody-dead. Poor Jug had so many jumpscares, I was surprised that it didn’t end with Archie checking him into a mental health clinic.

But they were in a hurry, after all, and like the song Headlong says

It ain’t no time to figure wrong from right, cause reason’s out the window, better hold on tight – you’re rushin’

Josie

Oh, good, a character who deserves more attention has finally got some! I always loved Josie’s friendship with Cheryl before, and now there are layers to go with that slice of cake. Granted, when you go a’ explorin’ the foundations of friendship, you might not always like what turns up from the dirt. But even if I don’t have quite the same love for Josie/Cheryl anymore, I am definitely more intrigued by them.

So, this is the (long overdue) spotlight on Josie McCoy. Pussycat by day, the next Whitney Houston by night. Might I add Ashleigh Murray’s pipes are fabulous, and I could fall asleep listening to Josie play the piano. No one knew she was composing alone except for her bff Cheryl, who is paying for studio time. Because the beginning of their story intersects with Jughead and Archie’s, we get the pleasure of hearing Cheryl snap at them as “Bert and Ernie” TWICE while chatting with Josie. Then Josie opened her locker to find a stuffed animal with a stalker-note attached. She rolled her eyes and tossed it, assuming it was from a secret admirer. Because it wasn’t like there was a Ra’s al Ghul wannabe ready to waste a town that day. At least Cheryl was wary, but her devotion to Josie seemed more intense here than it had been in previous episodes.

Then Josie encountered Chuck Clayton. Instead of skirt-chasing for the sake of humiliating his dates, Chuck goes to church. Chuck takes art classes. Chuck is ready to start going by Charles now.

There was in fact something softer about him in this episode, enough to leave both me and Josie hoping he’d changed. That dance between them at the diner was so cute.

But whether this was a one-shot tale or a to-be-continued setup, we’ll have to wait and see. Because while Josie did have a stalker in this episode, it wasn’t the Black Hood. It wasn’t Chuck.

Cheryl, you break my heart.

In honor of Josie’s rollercoaster of a trip, I give you The Invisible Man.

When you hear a sound that you just can’t place, feel somethin’ move that you just can’t trace, when something sits on the end of your bed. Don’t turn around when you hear me tread/

I’m your meanest thought, I’m your darkest fear

But I’ll never get caught, you can’t shake me, shake me dear

Veronica & Betty

The last story goes back to what Betty did after saying goodbye to Jughead. While talking to him about the teacher murdered in Sheriff Keller’s station, a lightbulb sparked in her brain – who could find it easier to get into the cell than Keller himself? Not one of her better ideas, I feel, but she ran ahead with it. She told Veronica, who insisted the Sheriff was just exhibiting the signs of practicing infidelity. Still, the girls agreed for Kevin’s sake they would have to be careful. While Betty worked her Veronica Mars magic at the department, Veronica invited herself to a sleepover at Kevin’s house. Being the warm treasured heart he is, he taught her how to dominate his favorite fantasy board game. Taking a break, Veronica took a call from Betty. (virtually the only time I’ve ever been truly disappointed in my girl – more on that later.)

Betty learned from V that a bunch of doors were locked at the Keller house. She bobby-pinned them open until she found Sheriff Keller’s evidence office. Crime scene pictures here, letters from the Black Hood there. Betty was just picking up the black mask that Keller had confiscated from Archie earlier this season, when the Sheriff showed up.

However, when the scene bounced to Betty and her father sitting, facing Keller, he wasn’t enraged. He seemed quite understanding of her suspicions, and downright sad she had them. He promised her he wouldn’t tell Kevin, because she and his son were so important to one another, and knowledge of this incident would break his heart.

But for relentless Betty, it wasn’t over. She wanted to know where Keller was sneaking off to at night. Tailing him alongside a reluctant Veronica led them to a motel. Keller knocked on one of the doors, and out stepped Mayor McCoy – Josie’s mom – into his arms.

The girls swore a pact they’d never reveal the truth to Kevin. I felt like they also should have promised each other to never investigate with Veronica’s Cheat-Buster’s intuition. This was one secret that would have been better left uncovered.

Because Kevin remarked upon “the pressure” his dad was facing so much, here’s Under Pressure.

Pressure pushing down on you, no man ask for

Under pressure that burns a building down

Splits a family in two

Puts people on the streets

Odds and Ends

These are a few of my other Darkside observations, pros and cons:

We had a break from Toni. Yes I know some still like her, and yes I know she’s not a bug mucking up Bughead’s windshield. For the record, though? I wanted to like Toni Topaz. Really. I was so hoping she’d be the Toni from my South Side Story fic. That Toni took a stand, had integrity, and had a kind-of-crush on Betty. She was interesting, and I was hoping Vanessa Morgan’s version would at least have some interesting lines. Sadly, something fell flat for me along the way, and with this absence I hope the writers have thought of a new way to make her more appealing as a person.

Bert and Ernie. BERT AND ERNIE. Though I see Jughead as more the cynical-ish Bert, and Archie is more the rubber ducky type methinks. Still, never getting old.

But unfortunately, I have some nitpicks now.

Archie owes Jughead? You know, I’m not entirely certain Jughead would have won that race with the Ghoulies. And if it had been a clear loss...Jughead clearly needs glasses if he’s that shortsighted. Archie bailed him out of a high-risk situation. If it had been me in that fix I daresay I would be treating Archie Andrews to burgers and milkshakes for a month.

Even worse friends are the Pussycats. Setup or no, I just wanted someone to point out to High and Mighty Valerie that cutting Josie out for working on songs by herself when just a few months ago she was crushed for writing songs with Archie seems either very petty (if revenge) or hypocritical.

I hate to bring up hypocrisy now, but let’s examine Betty’s actions when her boyfriend’s father was under suspicion for murder. She. Would. Not. Have. It. Everyone, from Archie and Veronica to her own damn mother wanted her to look a bit more closely beyond Jughead’s words that FP was innocent.

Cut to today, when she doggedly pursued the father of one of her closest friends, and someone she’s been quite frankly more familiar with over the years than FP Jones, for his potential ability to walk into a jail cell and shoot someone. And for Veronica to remind Betty that investigating Kevin’s dad would hurt their friend, only for Betty to keep gunning for him like the Kellers meant so little to her.

*I’d like to think I know what this is about. Betty has been traumatized by the Black Hood. She’s so freaked Dark Betty has had to come out of the woodwork. Dark Betty is colder, a bit more obsessive than the Girl Next Door version. She’s probably determined not to rest until the culprit can’t hurt her or her friends anymore.

I see this possibility. Of course, I could be dead wrong.

But now that I’ve mentioned the Black Hood, I’m going to say what I should have said the last time:

Where tf is the FBI?

I mean, there’s a psychopath in a mask that has declared war on an entire town. When he starts sending encrypted messages vowing to erase all sin from Riverdale, Jesus sorry but that’s when you send in the Feds.

Riverdale has forty-eight hours to stop sinning or he’ll kill again. Doesn’t anyone take this threat seriously?

Obviously not, including the very people he’s threatening. WTF kind of a test is that anyways? A town without sin, wow, really? He might as well come for all of us.

With this theme song: Innuendo

show yourself, destroy our fears – release your masks

#riverdale #tales from the darkside #spoilers #riverdale blog #sweetwatersound #bughead

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florrickandassociates · 7 years

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TGF Thoughts: 1x08-- Reddick v. Boseman

When Adrian arrives for work, he finds his firm empty. No one is in reception. All the offices are empty. No one’s in the hallways.

As it turns out, everyone’s gathered in Diane’s office, sorry, the RBK conference room, listening to founding partner Carl Reddick give a speech. He’s a civil rights hero, and also, clearly, a magnetic speaker. He’s discussing the importance of fighting (show, did we really need a third scene about how they’re fighting on TGF? A third in three weeks?), especially in this political era.

Reddick, who we haven’t seen or heard anything about up to this point, is basically here to be RBK’s Jonas Stern. I am unsure why it’s necessary for RBK to have its own Stern, especially since Stern gets better, more memorable material.

Julius is for some reason still at the firm (later we learn he’s only there through the end of the pay period).

Reddick discusses his vision for the firm. “That’s what you all are. You’re fighters.” WE GET IT.

“Did you know he was coming?” Adrian asks Barbara as soon as Reddick’s done speaking. Barbara didn’t.

Reddick wants to meet with Barbara and Adrian, and Adrian calls Diane into the meeting, thinking it’ll be about police brutality cases.

It’s not. Reddick asks that only the name partners be in on this meeting. Since Adrian’s reply is that Diane is on the exec committee, not that she’s a name partner, can we take this as confirmation that Diane was supposed to say “full” and not “name” at the end of 105?

Diane is happy to step out, but Adrian insists she be there. Barbara agrees. “Hey, man, what the hell is going on here? I turn my back, and we’re being indicted. What, you got grand juries all over your butt, man. In the meantime, I have to find out from the L.A. Times that you just signed with one of the whitest companies in Silicon Valley!” Reddick exclaims. He’s also upset that they’re not working with a client of his (who, according to Adrian, hasn’t brought in any money since 2009).

Lucca walks past the argument. It seems that not only can you see everything through glass walls, you can also hear everything! She’s on the phone with Colin, who is trying to move their upcoming date to an art gallery. Lucca worries there will be too many people, but Colin tells her there will only be “like, eight people there.” And he’ll go down on her in the bathroom.

“I’ll text you the deets,” he tells Lucca. “Don’t say ‘deets.’ I hate it when you say ‘deets,’” Lucca replies. I’m with you on that, Lucca.

Back to the argument. “And what about your responsibility to the community?” Reddick asks. Barbara says that’s what they’re already doing: “fighting the good fight.” Gah, please stop saying “the good fight” on The Good Fight. It sounds cheesy.

Diane excuses herself from the meeting and runs into Pastor Jeremiah (blast from the past!) in the hall. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to like Jeremiah or his son Isaiah or both of them or neither or what because the last time they appeared on the show was The Debate, an episode which I (and others, I’m sure) have tried to block from memory. I think there was a thread about Jeremiah, or was it Isaiah, being more motivated by politics than social good? (I think it was Jeremiah, because that’s a plot point in season 2 as well.)

Jeremiah and Diane get along well, apparently (I don’t believe we’ve seen them share a scene, but I can believe this), and now Reddick isn’t so reluctant to let Diane in on the conversation. Pastor Jeremiah has an issue. Now, Reddick only wants to talk to Diane.

This gives Barbara and Adrian a chance to talk. “He’s here for two weeks and he’s gone. Patience,” Barbara reminds Adrian.

Jeremiah explains his problem to Diane and Adrian (who I guess is in the meeting now?). He needs to evict someone from a halfway house he runs. Diane says she’ll do it; Adrian says to take “DiPersia” (that’s Jay) and an associate with her in case it turns into something bigger.

Diane selects Maia for this assignment, because of course Diane selects Maia for this assignment. Maia wonders why they’re doing this—is it something they would normally do? Diane explains it’s a favor.

Henry Rindell is in the parking garage, on his way to see Maia. Diane greets him icily. He asks Maia if she has a second. “No. No, I don’t, I’m working,” Maia says (accurately, for once!!!). Diane says she can take a minute.

Maia doesn’t have any interest in talking to her dad. She tells him to stop phoning and not to come to her work, and walks away.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” Diane says to Maia. Me too. I suppose it’s necessary to keep going forward with the Rindell family stuff, but I would’ve loved it if this episode (and the rest of the season/series) had shifted away from it and started to focus instead on the aftermath of the scandal’s effects on Maia. Instead of watching her dad try to get in touch (and then attempt suicide), I would’ve liked to have seen Maia and Diane bonding and Maia struggling with the realization she’s cut her parents out of her life after relying on them for everything her whole life.

At the halfway house, Maia asks if Jay carries a gun. He says no, but that he needs one all the time. Kalinda carried a gun. I wonder why Jay doesn’t. More on this!

Diane, Maia, and Jay give the eviction notice, but the tenant throws it away and alleges that Pastor Jeremiah sexually abused him. He says that now he’s going to do something about it, and lawyers up.

This case hooked me at first, because Jeremiah is a familiar face and it makes me queasy to think about him sexually abusing a minor. But, it’s apparent pretty early on that Jeremiah is innocent here, the resolution to the COTW is easy and unambiguous, and… yeah. The most interesting part of the case is the beginning.

His lawyer is bizarre. He arrives in Diane’s office and begins taking out all of the chocolate bars from her candy dish. He informs her she needs more chocolates and fewer mints. Well, yeah, since you’re stealing all the chocolates.

Weird Lawyer takes a page from the Elsbeth playbook and starts an audio-recording of the conversation. But weird lawyer also seems to be a bad lawyer—and not a bad lawyer in the “easy to underestimate but secretly brilliant” way, just a bad lawyer. He doesn’t know how to make his iPhone record. And he slips up and discusses blackmail on the recording, then has to clarify it’s a joke before abruptly leaving and asking Marissa if she’s tried online dating. Ew.

Weird Lawyer is also bitter about Diane’s “Harvard education”. “I didn’t go to Harvard,” Diane replies. WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL, THEN?! (My money’s on Yale. Or Columbia. Probably for undergrad, too. Everything about Diane and her friends from school screams Ivy League.)

Marissa adds that she also didn’t go to Harvard. I don’t think Marissa even went to college.

Weird Lawyer keeps pointing out that Diane is supposed to intimidate him because she’s the token white lawyer and she uses fancy lawyer words. And, what, the black lawyers don’t know lawyer words? I don’t know where Weird Lawyer is going with this.

Side note, the end of this scene was released as a sneak peek and I have no idea why; it’s confusing out of context.

WHY DOES WEIRD LAWYER WANT MARISSA TO GO ON EHARMONY? Should I change his name to Creepy Lawyer?

Lucca and Colin go to the art gallery. The artist whose work is on display is a favorite of Robert King’s, if I recall correctly. I see the painting that Courtney gave to Eli last year hanging on the wall. I’m amazed I can recognize that painting. I am also amazed that I remember Courtney’s name.

Lucca arrives and asks why there aren’t eight people there. Colin says it’s because she’s late. Lucca just wants to know where the bathroom is (so Colin can go down on her). They kiss in the middle of the art gallery, but they’re interrupted by… Colin’s mother.

Colin seems confused to see his mom, but is he really? Did he just happen to insist on seeing the same show with Lucca that his mom was going to be at? I don’t know what I’m supposed to believe here. He introduces Lucca as his colleague, but, I mean, they were just making out…

Colin seems to have forgotten Lucca’s last name. Is this stress or bad writing? Obviously Colin knows Lucca’s last name, if for no other reason than that they’re always going up against each other in court and they always use last names there.

Colin’s mom is very chatty. Very, very, very chatty. She’s also the kind of liberal the Kings love to make fun of (reminiscent of Diane’s friends from 5x04).

Colin’s mom’s lawyer, who is with her at the art gallery because reasons (no, like, this is not explained even when Colin calls attention to how strange it is), is the rapping white lawyer from a few episodes back.

Suddenly Rapping Lawyer (only on this show would there be two characters in an episode I’d want to nickname Weird Lawyer) begins to talk politics. “Oh my God, this country. What happened?” Colin’s mom wonders. She proceeds to involve Lucca in the conversation awkwardly, and just as quickly invites Lucca to Colin’s 32nd birthday party the next night.

Lucca didn’t know. But she agrees to go to the party, just to fuck with Colin. She plays nice with Colin’s mom, which leads to Francesca taking her aside and asking, “Did you see what Trump said about African Americans?” Cringe.

In the conference room, Maia’s the only lawyer who’s willing to flat-out ask Jeremiah if he had sex with the tenant. He says he didn’t.

Adrian doesn’t want to take the case. He doesn’t believe Jeremiah, and he’s worried that more young men will come forward once one does. He doesn’t want the firm associated with that kind of a scandal. Reddick doesn’t agree, so he demands a full partnership vote on the leadership of the firm. This seems like a strange catalyst. It’s hard to care—at all, really—about this when Reddick is a new character, we’ve spent several episodes with Adrian and Barbara (hey, where is Barbara in this conversation?), this plot went from zero to sixty in a second (Stern had appeared in two episodes and been mentioned in more before he declared he was going to start his own firm to hurt LG), and his argument in this scene isn’t the most compelling one. Are you sure you want to kick this fight into high gear over defending an alleged pedophile, likely to the detriment of your entire firm?

“You’ve driven [the firm] to the ground, and in this day and age, we can’t afford to let it drift,” Reddick argues. Again: it’s hard to care. I assume he means to the ground/can’t afford ethically, not financially. But you’d have to be an ideological purist to believe Adrian’s only goal is success, success, success. I guess that’s what Reddick is. It’s easy to be critical when you’re not actually the one in charge.

Adrian calls it a betrayal and says he still honors everything Reddick’s done in the past. He can go make inspirational speeches and bask in the applause, but “as far as the future’s concerned, you’ve gotta let us take it from here, Carl.”

Carl won’t back down. Yet again: I don’t care. I’ve seen this before, with Stern, and it was done better the first time, so why should I care this time?

Reddick tries to line up votes. He goes to Diane (HA! Like Diane would vote for him after Adrian was the only one to offer to take her in?) and talks to her about what it’s like to “have a firm that bears your name that lost your mission.” Well, that’s accurate, but it’s not enough of a reason to vote for Reddick. If he’s that unhappy, he could just take his name off of the firm. (Like Stern did.)

He talks to Barbara next. “We once stood for something important, Barbara. And the only thing we stand for now is making money, and as far as I’m concerned, that means we stand for nothing.” Ok? This is the point I’ve been waiting for Barbara to make for weeks, but… I wanted to hear a more nuanced version of it, one that had more to do with how much profit they sought and company culture. You’re a private law firm. Go found a non-profit if you don’t want to care about profit. The solution here seems quite simple.

Also, Barbara is a managing partner. Is her role not also up for a vote?

“Adrian will have his input, but he’s the head, and you’re the heart, as far as I’m concerned,” Reddick explains. What? If the show wants to get into this idea, perhaps they could do so by giving Barbara more screentime, not by introducing Stern 2.0 so we can hear about but not see firm issues.

Reddick also wants Jay to look into the vote count for him. Why would Reddick expect loyalty from Jay?

Jay goes directly to Adrian and asks how “accurate” he should be in his report to Reddick. So much suspense. Will the special guest star or the series regular prevail in this retread of a TGW plot we’ve seen several times before? I’m on the edge of my seat.

(Elsbeth/grand jury twists and turns are usually exciting to see, even when they get repetitive. Office politics… not as much.)

Weird Lawyer has an office that makes Ryan Alprin’s storefront look nice. “You’re not Marissa. Where is Marissa?” Weird Lawyer, who I really should call Creepy Lawyer, demands. You’re awfully fixated on a 24 year old, aren’t you?

Creepy Lawyer greets Maia by saying “pretty red hair” and mentioning that he had a dog with red hair. See? Creepy Lawyer.

He is finishing up a round of Candy Crush—on a computer, not on his phone. Whatever.

Again, Creepy Lawyer mentions that the lawyers he’s dealing with are white. Again, I am not sure what this means. There’s not a jury involved…

Creepy Lawyer has security footage that shows Jeremiah going into the tenant’s room and leaving half an hour later. He makes crude noises and Diane and Maia leave. Ugh.

Jeremiah explains it was a drug test he administered based on a tip.

Jay realizes pretty quickly a whole hour of footage is missing from the tape. He and Marissa talk it over, and Marissa yet again realizes something important: the tenant has a FitBit. How Marissa can tell that’s a FitBit and not a watch is beyond me, but cool.

“I used to think they were stupid, but now I have one,” Marissa says of FitBits. This is such a Marissa thing to need to add to a conversation.

Anyway, the FitBit can show that Jeremiah’s heartrate was decreasing while Paul (the tenant)’s heartrate was increasing, so they weren’t having sex.

Amy (yay, Amy!) appears at Maia’s office because she’s worried. Maia explains she’s been screening her calls (I don’t understand; does she not have people programmed into her contacts?). Amy says Henry phoned home (they have a landline?!) three times, and when she finally picked up, Henry thanked her “for being so good to [Maia]” while crying. “It sounded like goodbye,” Amy explains. Maia phones her dad, but Henry doesn’t pick up.

Maia immediately leaves the office. Cut to Henry, listening to depressing music and surveying his office for what he intends to be the last time. He finally picks up the phone, but doesn’t say anything to Maia. She says she’s on her way and asks him not to hang up, but he does.

God, this is hard to watch. I may not be all that invested in Maia and especially not in Henry, but that doesn’t make it any easier to see.

Henry tries to hang himself in the barn, but ends up falling instead. “Ouch,” he says after he hits the ground. I like the dark humor.

At Colin’s party, Lucca meets Colin’s dad. He, too, can only seem to make conversation if it’s about Trump. I hope this is not actually how people behave. “Oh, hey, you’re black! I need to let you know I am a liberal too!” Ugh.

Colin’s dad is also quite obviously screwing his secretary.

Lucca says it’s nice to meet Colin’s dad (whom she calls by the same last name as Colin’s mom—intentionally? Colin has a different last name than both of his parents, if Lucca’s calling Colin’s dad by the right last name). He responds, “The Root is a great online magazine,” because he just is so excited that Lucca is black that his mind can’t think about anything other than the color of her skin!

Lucca is amused by Colin’s family. Francesca arrives to ask Lucca to settle a debate for her. Surprise—Lucca’s asked to provide the black perspective (because, of course, all black people think the same way) in (what else?) a political conversation about how black people liked Bernie.

“I don’t really have an opinion,” Lucca says, trying to get out of it.

“Do you know Jay-Z?” One of Francesca’s friends asks Lucca. I’m honestly not sure if she’s asking Lucca if she’s heard of Jay-Z or asking Lucca if she knows him personally.

Lucca excuses herself to get a drink. “Oh, she’s wonderful!” Francesca exclaims. “If you don’t marry her, I will.” That escalated quickly.

Maia and Amy run around the Rindell home looking for Henry. Instead, they find his suicide note and his watch. They see a light in the barn and run towards it. They also see a note Henry left for Maia. It tells her to phone the police so she doesn’t have to see what he’s done. Maia responds by running into the barn.

Henry’s still alive, and Amy’s already phoning for an ambulance. Henry asks Maia to clean up after him—his bail will be revoked if it looks like he tried to commit suicide. Maia does as he asks.

Rapping Lawyer pops up to discuss rap with Lucca. “I dunno, Clarence,” she replies instead of answering him. He then congratulates her and says it’ll look great (for her firm, apparently) to have her on Colin’s arm as he runs for office. This is news to Lucca, though it makes sense—that’s why he’s been working as an AUSA. “It’s a stepping stone to office. So are you,” Clarence says bluntly. Why?! Why would he say this?! “The hot black girlfriend? It’s a demographic dream,” he continues.

Lucca finishes her drink and leaves abruptly for a “work emergency.” She says she’s already called a Lyft. (So Lucca uses Lyft over Uber?)

Jax brings Lenore to the hospital to see Henry. This upsets Maia. And I get it. But Jax is also Henry’s brother; it makes sense for Jax to be there… (not with Lenore, but still!)

Maia demands, again, that Lenore end it with Jax. Have I ever cared so little about a subplot?!

Maia, to prove her point, reads Henry’s suicide note to Lenore. It’s sad. Again, it would be sadder if Henry and Lenore felt more like people and less like soap opera villains.

Last minute campaigning happens. I do not care.

Lenore breaks up with Jax. I care in that I will be thrilled if this plot finally ends.

Creepy Lawyer has a new strategy: mention that the client can identify a birthmark on “the good pastor’s dick.” Didn’t someone once try this strategy on Peter Florrick? And Alicia just burst out laughing?

Jeremiah maintains that he’s innocent, but he will not disrobe. Naturally, this makes him look guilty. Jeremiah doesn’t care.

Jeremiah asks Adrian if he believes him. “I have been around too long to know better than to expect anything from my heroes other than feet of clay,” Adrian says. (This is a confusing sentence that I think I transcribed correctly.)

Marissa finds something! Paul, the tenant, was in contact with the lawyer before he said he was going to lawyer up! It’s a scheme!

So Marissa and Jay investigate Creepy Lawyer’s past cases and find out he’s being paid to bring this suit so some political group can take down a well-respected black pastor. Isn’t that convenient? It’s all a ploy and they uncover it and it just goes away!

Reddick, Adrian, and Diane all laugh as Creepy Lawyer leaves, and for once, the victory isn’t undercut. (The partnership vote is still on, though.)

Colin waits for Lucca in the garage of RBK. She breaks up with him, saying they both knew it wasn’t serious. “I’m not sure what you’re looking for, but I’m not her. I’m not an accessory, I’m not a… trophy. I’m sure as hell not a wife,” Lucca explains. “And I never treated you that way,” Colin says. Sure. But he’s still on his family’s path, no? He’s working they job they want him to work, living in the house they pay for, showing up for the parties they throw in his honor…

Oooh now I want a Colin and Maia scene. I feel like they have a lot in common. Well, at least, they’re both adults who grew up ridiculously wealthy and are questioning how much they still want to (or can) rely on their parents.

Colin leaves and Lucca gets into her car. She begins to cry. Say, wouldn’t it be nice if Lucca had a best friend she could call? Someone who knew exactly what it was like to be viewed as arm candy for a politician? If only there were someone like that in the universe of this show…

(I don’t actually want Alicia to come back for this but, again: it’s one of those things where it would make so much sense to show Alicia that her absence is glaring. Alicia’s absence doesn’t take away from this moment for Lucca—in fact, this is probably the best moment of the episode (it’s certainly the one I cared about the most) and Alicia wouldn’t be there in the immediate aftermath even if she were on the show—but it’s hard not to see the parallel.)

To go back to Lucca: I hope we get more on this. I understand why Lucca wouldn’t want any part of the political act. That’s not who she is. She is outspoken and does what she pleases, and she’s arranged her life so she can continue to have that freedom. She doesn’t even want a long-term relationship (at this point, possibly ever), certainly not one in the public eye. And certainly not one that forces her to play Good Wife Who Is Also Representative of All Black People. She was just starting to open up to someone, and now… this. She opened up, and she got hurt. She would rather abruptly cut off a relationship than risk losing the life she’s worked to build for herself, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

Partnership vote happens. Julius is still around, apparently just so he can be in this totally anti-climactic vote that ends up being a tie anyway. (And it’s a mistake to have Julius there for another reason: Julius is so crucial—and so delightful!—in the vote against Bond that his presence here just reminds me of how much better that plot was.) It’s 11-12, in favor of Reddick. Adrian, instead of noting that someone didn’t vote, asks to have the room polled.

And then Barbara swoops in to save the day! She didn’t vote but now she wants to now. Wow, what a twist. I’m glad Barbara gets to make the big speech, but I still… don’t care about this drama.

“Carl, you said this was a battle between the firm’s heart and its head. But it’s not. It’s about the past or the future. Your past glories have a lot to teach us, but this… this is now. The fights are now, and Adrian knows how to fight them. I vote for Adrian.” Barbara says. Again with the fighting talk. This episode is not very subtle, nor is it exciting. That’s the big twist? Barbara didn’t vote but now she’s going to vote? I don’t care about Reddick losing—it’s not like he’s Derrick Bond with an evil scheme episodes in the making to take over. And, because I’m not invested in Reddick the antagonist enough, I don’t care about watching Adrian win.

AND, even though I do care about Adrian and Barbara’s partnership, as I said earlier, the best way to explore it isn’t to bring in Reddick for a subplot but rather to, you know, explore their partnership.

Reddick explains that the fights now aren’t any different and then leaves. Does this mean he’s gone? I don’t know and I don’t care. How can I care about a potential upset to the firm’s mode of operating when I haven’t even gotten a chance to see how the firm operates?

Adrian and Barbara have their Will and Diane moment: Adrian brings a bottle of wine and two glasses into Barbara’s office. “To idealism,” Adrian says. “To pragmatism,” Barbara replies. They drink and look at their firm. Awww. I like this ending. (And I love Barbara even more for talking about pragmatism.)

(I wish this ending were the conclusion to a better plot. Specifically, a plot that featured Barbara more heavily instead of one that involved characters speaking in clichés without ever explaining what they meant. Barbara is the heart to Adrian’s head? Then show us that. Or show us why it’s wrong—it’s Barbara who toasts to pragmatism, after all. Or show us why it’s wrong to think of it as binary, how Barbara is the one who’s more passionate about the firm’s culture, but she’s also a pragmatist, and Adrian comes up with strategic plans but also plays a huge role in setting the tone for the firm. And do the same with past and future: explain how times have changed, and how they haven’t. ALL of these people are well-versed in these issues. They could have a well-reasoned discussion about this; they are all more than capable of citing specific examples and studies and strategies.)

(I wrote “I don’t care” a lot in this recap. This is a big problem. There is no reason I shouldn’t be invested in these characters. They are well-drawn (with the exception of Henry and Lenore Rindell) and I want to know even more about them. That I can pinpoint exactly why I don’t care, and exactly what I’d change so that I would care, worries me. These are not new complaints. Office politics (and/or conspiracies) driving plot when there’s more than enough character stuff to work with is something that I complained about pretty much every week in the later seasons of TGW. Focus. On. The. Characters. Captivating plots will come naturally out of solid character development.)

#The Good Fight #TGFThoughts

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thesnhuup · 4 years

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Pop Picks – January 2, 2020

What I’m listening to:

I was never really an Amy Winehouse fan and I don’t listen to much jazz or blue-eyed soul. Recently, eight years after she died at only 27, I heard her single Tears Dry On Their Own and I was hooked (the song was on someone’s “ten things I’d want on a deserted island” list). Since then, I’ve been playing her almost every day. I started the documentary about her, Amy, and stopped. I didn’t much like her. Or, more accurately, I didn’t much like the signals of her own eventual destruction that were evident early on. I think it was D. H. Lawrence that once said “Trust the art, not the artist.” Sometimes it is better not to know too much and just relish the sheer artistry of the work. Winehouse’s Back to Black, which was named one of the best albums of 2007, is as fresh and painful and amazing 13 years later.

What I’m reading:

Alan Bennett’s lovely novella An Uncommon Reader is a what-if tale, wondering what it would mean if Queen Elizabeth II suddenly became a reader. Because of a lucked upon book mobile on palace grounds, she becomes just that, much to the consternation of her staff and with all kinds of delicious consequences, including curiosity, imagination, self-awareness, and growing disregard for pomp. With an ill-framed suggestion, reading becomes writing and provides a surprise ending. For all of us who love books, this is a finely wrought and delightful love poem to the power of books for readers and writers alike. Imagine if all our leaders were readers (sigh).

What I’m watching:

I’m a huge fan of many things – The National, Boston sports teams, BMW motorcycles, Pho – but there is a stage of life, typically adolescence, when fandom changes the universe, provides a lens to finally understand the world and, more importantly, yourself, in profound ways. My wife Pat would say Joni Mitchell did that for her. Gurinder Chadha’s wonderful film Blinded By The Light captures the power of discovery when Javed, the son of struggling Pakistani immigrants in a dead end place during a dead end time (the Thatcher period, from which Britain has never recovered: see Brexit), hears Springsteen and is forever changed. The movie, sometimes musical, sometimes comedy, and often bubbling with energy, has more heft than it might seem at first. There is pain in a father struggling to retain his dignity while he fails to provide, the father and son tension in so many immigrant families (I lived some of that), and what it means to be an outsider in the only culture you actually have ever known.