#Free speech handbook

[delcat177]

Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard.

--Robert Jackson (1942, West Virginia v. Barnette)

[angelofthepage]

Thoughts on the "Updated" Bendy Employee Handbook

Before we go any further, let's make it very clear what kind of post this is: we're not here to hate on the book, and none of anything I'm about to say is said with ill intent. I am here for analysis, constructive criticism, and discussion. This post is a little more critical than what I would usually share, so viewer discretion is advised.

Today we're talking about the newly updated Bendy Employee Handbook, which just recently released as of this month at the time of this post. And I have a lot of questions about this entry, and really, game guides as a whole in our modern gaming world. This book appeared to advertise itself as a rerelease of the original handbook with additional content for Bendy and the Dark Revival, but upon comparing the two, I've noticed there's actually a number of changes they've made, some good, some bad, and some that I'm not sure what to make of. So come and join me under the cut, and if you have some thoughts of your own, feel free to comment or reblog and add to the discussion. Without further ado, here we go!

Part 1: The Baffling Amount of Cut Content

Our story begins where most stories do, the table of contents. So right off the bat, when comparing this book to the original, you'll notice something off.

No, your eyes do not deceive you, an entire section of the original book was cut, on top of making other sections shorter. And the weirdest part? Some of these things were exclusive to that original book, they didn't appear anywhere else in the Bendy franchise. So already we're off to a weird start. Some of these missing pages aren't so bad though. In some cases, they're just format changes to make the book flow a little better/take up less room. Sometimes they succeed in that, sometimes they end up feeling more cramped, it's pretty subjective whether or not this improved the book. But it certainly does cut down on pages. Case in point, the beginning of each chapter of BATIM.

Don't worry, Joey's letter hasn't been cut, but it has been moved to earlier in the book, so it's no longer in Chapter 1. This was a very odd change. Other things that are missing are character monologues, but it's inconsistent. Alice Angel's speech about the screaming well of voices and Joey's monologue right before the final boss were kept, but Sammy's "sheep sheep sheep" speech and Bertrum's audiolog right before his boss fight were inexplicably cut.

Here are a few cuts I found pretty significant.

These pages are all missing from the update. In the case of this newspaper article, what does that mean in regards to whether or not this is "canon" or "retconned"? Joey Drew, did you or did you not have plans to expand into a Bendy themed toothpaste? The people need to know! X''D But seriously, while some of this is inconsequential, some of it matters. The mascot costume in particular, that's the only sketch we get (that I'm assuming came from Bertrum or Joey regarding that part of the parks, no one is specifically credited for making it). It doesn't show up anywhere else in the series (to my knowledge). It's strange that it's just, gone now. The Bendyland spread is such an unfortunate loss, that's some of the closest we've ever gotten to seeing the map of the park. Yes you can see it in BATIM, but being able to get up close and personal with it without having to control Henry was really nice. It makes me wonder if they're trying to erase the past details so they can do more with Bendyland in the future, something that's different from the original vision. I don't think that's it, but it could be, though they'd also have to go back on The Illusion of Living too, given it’s discussed there with some really fun details.

Speaking of which, that's the weirdest piece of cut content: the missing section that ends the old book (that was reiterated in The Illusion of Living). It's Joey Drew's tips for making a cartoon. It's formatted differently and has no images in TIOL, but the basic information is still the same. What's not the same though, is the loss of the tutorial pages for drawing the toons. These are another thing that don’t show up anywhere else in the series, making them a much more permanent loss. And even though this section is cut, it’s still referenced on the back cover of the new book, which is a bit odd.

These were really cute and showed so much personality for not just the toons, but for Joey as he described them. Cutting this was genuinely disappointing for me. Same with the paperwork in Joey's apartment. Those were some of the highest quality images we had of what was on his desk and bulletin board, and I liked being able to see them clearer. The biggest loss of the cut content isn’t just the pages themselves, but the personality they gave to this book, and the Bendy world as a whole. 

This was the very first Bendy book to be released, and therefore our first look into this world in this format. And while I don’t think it’s the greatest thing in the world in terms of being a game guide, I didn’t pick up the original for a game guide. I picked it up because I wanted to see if it provided more context for the world. And when it does that, it does a good job. The memos from characters we know, Joey’s financial records, the images from the desks of people like Joey and Bertrum, they give us insight into how things were going at the studio. Some of my favorite details from the original are Joey’s memo about how Susie was replaced by Allison, and the receipt for Joe’s Fine Dining. The fact that that memo was distributed to everyone but Susie enhanced what we already knew from BATIM, and it paints him as a much crueler character than we knew him to be. Not to mention the repeated use of “I have to say, I’m an instant fan”. Having Joey say those words makes the concept of him creating the cycle so much more interesting. Like did he script out every little action these characters take? Or is this something Susie picked up and recycled from him after potentially finding this memo in real life? Oh there are so many delicious possibilities. And the lunch date, oh my gosh. One, it started my quest to build the Joey Drew menu using all the things he eats in the books, because damn does he have good taste. And two, it was so cool to have a look into an interaction Susie told us about in that one tape. Like that was REALLY GOOD. Give me more like that! When you have other parts of the series back up things we’ve heard only one character say, it gives more credence to the idea that they actually happened that way, or gives us a clue that we need to check for character biases when they tell us their side of the story. And in a series where MOST characters are unreliable narrators, that is REALLY IMPORTANT for establishing timelines and figuring out what’s real versus what’s fabricated. That was my biggest hope for the update, for more flavortext and world building that expands on things we already know. 

But um…the dark revival part of the book doesn’t do that. 

Part 2: The Dark Revival’s Minimal Offerings

After an abrupt jump from Bendyland to BATDR, we get into the new stuff. The Bendy and the Dark Revival section of this book is alarmingly short and has very little substance. There is no new expansion of the worldbuilding or insight into these characters. I mean, the book describes Heidi as being a female lost one? So if you wanted a confirmation on her gender, there you go I guess? I guess that detail was never like, stated explicitly, but this is me stretching to find something new that it gives us. Actually, wait, it does give us one new thing, but I’m gonna be honest, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

The book refers to Allison having a “pet wolf” when we get her introduction in Chapter 1. It then later describes that Tom “likes being pet” when we get his introduction in Chapter 5. Which by the way, is the only image of Tom in this entire book, since his original render from the old version was cut. Now, I’ll be honest, I used to like that second detail, I thought it was cute that he doesn’t just tolerate Audrey, he actually LIKES being pet. Those are two different things, having some insights into Tom’s feelings and characterization would have been a breath of fresh air. But no, when I reread the book and saw that first detail, that made that really weird and uncomfortable actually. It would be one thing if in-universe, Tom called himself a pet, or Allison called him that with consent. Heck, if there was another character in-universe who wanted to purposely insult Allison and Tom by saying that, that would be fine too, then it’d be reiterating the narrative. But on its own? I take issue with taking Tom of all characters and calling him her pet. The Safehouse Boris never got treated that badly, hell, Buddy in the books never got dehumanized this badly when he became a Boris. But Tom, Tom gets to be the one that’s dehumanized? There is something that really rubs me the wrong way about that. Especially if he turns out to be Thomas Connor or has some connection to him. I can’t assume if he is or isn’t anymore given all the stuff BATDR pulled with Allison and Henry. But on the chance he IS Thomas Connor, do you have any idea how bad that looks, to have a character that, because of details written in Dreams Come to Life, many fans speculate to be a person of color, referring to him as Allison’s “pet”? And even if he ends up not being a person of color (I say as I groan about the inevitable discourse for the DCTL graphic novel that’s coming out), it’s still kind of awful to say that about anyone. Tom is a character that has repeatedly gotten the short end of the stick in this series. He’s relevant to BATDR for all of a couple of minutes, and he’s incredibly underutilized and lacking details or depth for most of the series. Thomas Connor, he gets a bit of depth as of The Lost Ones, that novel does great things for him. But Tom Wolf? Short end of the stick. And I’m sad to see that continue here. 

The one positive thing I have to say about this section is that it’s really nice to have so many of the audiolog character transcripts here. Most of the notes and logs from BATDR are here with all their words typed out. The ones that in-game had a chiller styled font are transcribed a bit strangely, as now they’re written like the messages written on the walls in-game. But it’s not the worst. If anything, all of this gives me a great resource as a theorist. Having a record of all of these and what chapters they appear in makes my goal of constructing a timeline and cross checking information much easier. 

Though from a graphic design standpoint, these pages frustrate me a little bit. They’re so cramped, and there’s several spots where the text isn’t centered properly within its text block. I get the sense on some parts, it’s because it’s placed so close to the spine of the book, so they don’t want any information getting cut off, but it still looks funky. And there are several spots where that explanation doesn’t really apply. There’s also some weird placement of fun facts. While I love that this book lets us in on some secrets, they’re not always placed in an area that makes sense? Like, there’s a note about how to get the Inkjets Concert, but the steps for how to get it are placed way after a point in the narrative where you’d be able to get it, and I’m kind of scratching my head as to why it was done that way. Is it to encourage a second playthrough? Or is it to not spoil the story? Why not split the information up? Or have a dedicated secrets page like they do with the achievements and theMeatly’s cutouts? 

Though speaking of not spoiling things, this book is really odd about what it chooses to focus on. So, Henry’s model is in this book, right next to a passage about a “mysterious man” you can meet in the Cyclebreakers area. They showed his model but didn’t name him as Henry? I don’t quite get that choice. Also, despite the cyclebreakers being very important to this story, they aren’t really mentioned before this very brief section. However, Porter? The character shown for all of a few seconds? He’s got at least three images throughout this book. The balance feels off with what this book chooses to put emphasis on. 

Also, this one really annoyed me: Allison. So for everyone who’s actually played BATIM, you would know that Allison Angel is never referred to as Allison within BATIM. We only know she’s called that because people dove into the game’s files and revealed her and Tom’s names upon the release of Chapter 4. And the book follows suit with this, it does not call her Allison in the original handbook whatsoever. HOWEVER, the BATDR section messes this up. When it introduces her, even though in-game she introduces herself as Alice, the book introduces her as Allison. But when we get to Chapter 5, the part where she’s actually named Allison by Audrey, it suddenly switches to calling her Nice Alice? It’s a weird choice and I don’t understand why this happened. 

It leaves me wondering just how much the new author of this section and their editors know about the Bendy series before going into this project. What context were they given to write this thing? It makes the book feel unpolished to have so many mistakes in its formatting and information. I don’t know what the quality control team for this release looked like, but a part of me wonders how many editors this went through before making it to the final release. I don’t work in publishing to know what that looks like, but I’d genuinely love to learn more on this subject, it’s fascinating. 

There’s also a very strong dissonance in the imagery. While I’m glad to see the renders from BATDR’s advertising so clearly and up close, the difference in their coloring looks strange when put next to the rest of Bendy’s usual color palette. It leaves me wondering what assets the book team was given for use in this release. There’s a lot I could say here about the importance of press kits and brand guidelines, especially in this day and age when so many fans are making just as high quality of content as the official releases of media. And that leads me to the most disappointing part of this book. 

Part 3: Stolen Content

If you’re active in the Bendy fandom and know its many creative members, then you may already know what I’m about to dive into. MLSpence3D is an artist that enjoys 3D modeling, rigging, animating, and rendering. He can often be found engaging in all sorts of corners in the indie mascot horror community, such as playing a notable role in the production of SuperHorrorBro’s upcoming title, Glitched Out, as well as providing the renders used on the Bendy Wiki of the in-game characters. Spence has had his work mistaken for official renders before, and unfortunately, it’s not just fans making that mistake. The render of the Piper used in the BATIM portion of the original handbook is Spence’s, and it unfortunately hasn’t been removed in this update, nor has he been credited or asked for permission to have it used here. I’ll admit, his stuff looks so official that I’ve mistaken it as such too, and it speaks to a much needed conversation on assets, metadata, and protection for artists of all mediums. 

Our fandom is not the only place where this happens. Back when FNAF: Help Wanted was in production, the cover art mistakenly used fan renders as a part of its photomanipulation. Developer Scott Cawthon was quick to apologize and make things right, removing the renders and replacing them with officially made FNAF models. Heck, we had something similar happen right here with Bendy back when the voice cast of BATDR started working with Streamily. The initial post that advertised their Streamily debut used renders from Spence and a few other artists that had to be tracked down, and they didn’t have the rights to use them, nor were they credited. It makes a lot of sense that this happens, when you don’t have sufficient resources and aren’t an active member of the fandom, if you’re a graphic designer trying to make a piece to advertise something, you’re going to need assets to make that. And if you’re not given sufficient assets by the people you’re designing for, you turn to other sources to get the job done. They may not know what on Google is official vs fan content. The fans are so skilled and passionate about what they do, and with the number of series that have fans steadily joining the official teams, it’s incredible what can result from being passionate. But it also makes for a much needed reminder to add metadata to your files so that they can be traced back as belonging to you. Watermark your stuff, clearly mark your work as fan content in the tags, captions, and descriptions, in an effort to protect yourself. Don’t use images you find online unless you have a very clear idea of where they came from, so you can direct people back to the source when they ask about it (or better yet, link the source in your description from the start). Give people another reason to pause and double check their work in the chain of command (they should be pausing to double check anyway, but let's be real, we don't live in a perfect world). In a world where credit and sources are more important than ever, remembering to give credit where it’s due from the start will save you all kinds of headaches in the future. Video game developers, especially those of you in the indie scene: please develop press kits to give to people your teams collaborate with. By giving them assets they can reliably use to advertise for you, you will save everyone a lot of hassle in the long run. And if this is still happening even with a press kit, it merits having some conversations to evaluate why and solve the problem. If there is no other takeaway anyone gets from this post, this is the big one I want to see some positive change on in the future.

Part 4: The Functionality as a Game Guide

This book works for your first time through BATDR, but not for any kind of sequential playthroughs. The way it directs you through the game uses the audiologs and notes as waypoints. Once you pick them up, they are removed from the environment, and so if you’re picking up the game after a long time away from it, you’re not gonna remember where those were, so it’s likely not going to be useful for navigating. It reminds me a lot of the way my parents talked about one of our old hometowns. We lived in Vermont for a little while, and there were two things about our area that we laughed about. One, never leave your car unlocked unless you want it filled with zucchini. Two, if you ask for directions, you’re not gonna have a clue unless you’re a local, because they word everything in a similar fashion to “you’re gonna drive past where the old barn used to be”. At least give me a landmark that still exists, or a map! The BATIM chapters aren’t much better, they sort of give you a layout map, but it’s not helpful. Especially in Chapter 3, the place where you arguably need a map the most, there is no kind of instruction for how to get through Alice’s fetch quests if you get lost. 

In my mind, a game guide is something you turn to when you need help getting through a game. Now, mind you, I am not the target audience for a game guide. I don’t own game guides. There are a few in my household that my siblings own, for stuff like Super Mario Sunshine, and I guess technically my Pokedex for Pokemon Black and White 2 DOES double as a game guide. But like, we now live in the age of the internet. If you want to know how to get through something, there are a million articles and Let’s Plays that detail how to complete the base story, find secrets, and even suggest strategies for tackling difficult challenges. Some of these are designed to be informative, and some are more reactionary and built for entertainment, there’s lots of flavors to choose from! 

And it makes me wonder, what does that mean for the medium of game guides as a whole? I think they still have their place. For one thing, different people benefit from different learning styles. Being able to read a guide may work better for someone than a video depending on their brain wiring. And for people who don’t have reliable or frankly any internet, or rely on a library for that, it’s nice to have a book so that you don’t have to wait to keep playing. I’ve never seen anyone get a game guide from a library, but I absolutely think it’s something a library could have. It’s also just really convenient to have all of that information available in one book, as opposed to having to search through multiple forums and sources and risk getting spoiled. And when they’re done well, sometimes they can have secrets not even the existing player base knew. Like I knew that there was this secret about a ghost train that appears if you set your system’s clock to 4:14, but I didn’t know if AM or PM mattered. Thanks to this book, now I know that it doesn’t matter, both work, which is really handy to know! But uh…most of the secrets that were revealed in this book were things I knew within the first month that BATDR came out. None of them were new to me as someone who’s plugged into the world of Bendy. There have been multiple videos detailing how to get these secrets, and how to play this game, by many different indie horror enthusiasts. It almost makes it feel like this book came out a bit too late, and it’s only released about a year or so after this game came out.

Which really begs the question, who was the target audience for this book? Was it for new fans who were struggling with these games? Was it for longtime fans who wanted a memento of the occasion and a record of all the stuff in these games? Was it for lore hunters hungry for new secrets and world building? Having read both versions of the employee handbook, I still can’t definitively say who the target audience is. That kind of frustrates me, that’s the first thing they taught us about back when I went to school for graphic design. It’s important to keep your audience in mind when designing something, that way it caters to their needs, appeals to them, and gets your message across effectively. 

Part 5: Final Thoughts

I still can’t say for sure what I was supposed to get out of this.The parts of it that I found charming and appealing were not continued or built upon in this update. There is no new world building or lore. It doesn’t do an effective job as a game guide given its reliance on non-permanent elements of gameplay. It doesn’t give us tools to cross reference what we know from previous entries, nor does it expand upon details that lacked clarity within BATDR or BATIM. It removed some of its more charming content, and it still has stolen artwork from its previous iteration. By the time I got done reading this book, I was left feeling disappointed and kind of exhausted. No joke, I grabbed a friend, and we went through it all to compare it page by page to see what changed. It was something you could make a drinking game out of, not that I would recommend that. 

I would struggle to recommend this book to any Bendy fan, unless you’re a completionist like me who wants to own every book as a physical copy. The original employee handbook was a far better read, and if you can find a copy secondhand or at your local library, you’re in for a small but tasty treat (quite literally if you decide to make the bacon soup recipe, which fun fact, originated in this book and was developed by the wife of Bookpast, one of the writers on this series!). The Dark Revival section feels tacked on and not as well thought out as the original book was. There is a very odd disconnect between the two. I’m genuinely confused as to why it was put in a rerelease of this book rather than making an entirely new book for Dark Revival. Dark Revival is a much longer and detailed game than Bendy and the Ink Machine. I would expect a book that describes how to play it and its world building to take up a lot more pages and go in depth on different details than this one did. So why was it done this way? Does this have to do with some sort of contract with Scholastic that we don’t know about? Was there a time constraint, or a page count that had to be met that they couldn’t meet with just BATDR? Did the people working on Bendy have too much on their plates to dedicate the time to a new book? What happened here? I wasn’t expecting to leave this book with more questions than answers, but here we are. 

Overall, I don’t think it was worth what I paid for it, but it’s going to live on my shelf with the rest of my books. This will be handy for when I need to reference the audiologs and don’t want to look up a YouTube video to remember what was said. It’ll also be nice if I’m traveling. See, whenever I visit my grandparents, their wifi is pretty limited, so if I want to draw anything while I’m up there, I have to print out references or download images on my phone before I go so I can do that. Having some of the new renders in this book will be useful if I decide I want to draw Bendy stuff or theorize while on the road. 

Now it's your turn. Tell me your thoughts on the Updated Edition of the Bendy Employee Handbook! Is this something you want to read? If you have read it, did you enjoy it? Were you left wanting more? If we ever get another book like this, what sort of things would you like to see? Let's talk about it. And remember, if you did enjoy it, that's not a bad thing, absolutely no judgement there. Just because it wasn't for me doesn't mean it's not going to be enjoyable for someone else. Every work of fiction has its audience. <3 Here's wishing you a wonderful rest of the day, and happy reading!

[manicpixiedreamcurl]

The More You Give ❧ (Part V)

Pairing | Eddie x reader

Warnings | 18+ minors and blank blogs don’t interact, bullying, friendship comes and goes, discussions of anxiety, discussions of virginity, discussions of sex shaming, frottage (PUSSYJOB), everyone’s very vulnerable.

Word count | ~11,800

A/N | Oooh, mama. It’s been a while. I hope most of the people who like this fic are still around.

Taglist

Previous Chapter

❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦

You like calling Eddie, the sound of his voice over the phone. The way he answers it differently each time:

“This is Eddie Munson, lead guitarist of Corroded Coffin; available for christenings, bar mitzvahs and weddings.”

“Munson residence. The old guy’s out so if you’re looking to buy a collection of novelty mugs now’s the time.”

“You’ve reached the church of Satan; Abaddon the Destroyer speaking. For your free introductory handbook on summoning circles just dial six-six-six.”

And then there’s the happy rise in his tone when he hears it’s you on the other side, the surprised laugh at the sound of your soft hi, Eddie even when he’d asked you to call. The crackle of his breath through the receiver, the way conversations with him are easy however they happen. With anyone else, phone calls feel stilted and awkward, but Eddie talks as if you’re sitting right in front of him. 

It makes you warm all over to think about. Eddie wants to see you and kiss you and touch you, but he’s also happy to sit on his couch miles away and speak to you, listen in return to everything you can bring yourself to say.

You have taken to dragging a chair from the kitchen and sitting by the hallway table to talk to him like this whenever you don’t see him in the evening. You spend an hour or two at a time smiling at your mom’s address book, twirling the coiled cord of the phone around your finger while Eddie talks about this day, asks about yours, explains why he’s really into this new Swedish black metal band he’s discovered, checks what you’re reading, shares an idea he has for Hellfire, plans your next date.

Today is no exception. Your dad has walked past muttering about the phone bill twice. Your mom, as usual, has stationed herself in the kitchen within earshot, but what exactly she gets out of hearing the low buzz of Eddie’s voice and your laughter, you don’t know.

"And you're sure you don't wanna come, sweet girl?" 

"Yeah, I-" You hesitate, playing with a rose petal from the bowl of potpourri that sits by the phone. "I think I should stay here. Just in case." 

In truth, you don't have much hope that May will call, but imagining that she does and you aren’t here to receive it fills you with worry. The last thing you want is to make things any worse between you after you messed up so badly. 

It’s not unusual for you to feel this type of regret. When overthinking something delays your actions until it’s too late. You worried so much about how to tell May about Eddie that you left it too long. You should have told her the day you kissed him, should have phoned when you got back from your first date. Instead, you spent your time imagining the conversation, and let your best friend find out something important through somebody else. 

You hurt her. She is wounded enough that she really has given up defending you. When Caroline remarks on your silence now, May doesn't attempt to fill the emptiness your lumping throat leaves. 

"She's just shy," May used to say, waving her hand. Her embarrassment over your stumbled words and fidgeting hands was clear, then, but you knew she felt for you, even if she didn't understand why she had to. Now she just looks at you expectedly like everyone else, pulls awkward, embarrassed faces when you stumble and fidget through a non-answer.

You had taken to spending more of your lunches helping Heather with her new responsibilities as class president, sitting quietly at debate club and nodding along to her speeches, taking the role of a small country at her model UN meetings. But you are starting to feel her frustration with you, too. 

“You don’t have to come to every meeting if you don’t enjoy it.” She said to you after the last UN encounter you’d sat through without uttering a word.

“It’s just, I don’t really know much about Anguilla. But I like hearing you speak.”

Heather smiled with her lips closed. “That’s not what it’s for, though. I think maybe you’d prefer having lunch with May and the cheerleading girls again.”

You felt your cheeks burning, pulled the sleeves of your cardigan down over your hands and fiddled with the woollen edges. “Oh. Okay. Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Sometimes you think about sitting at Eddie’s table instead. To have another hour of him every day. The picture is nice on its own. Talking to him, to Jeff, even the freshmen Eddie has adopted since the beginning of the year. But then the image zooms out; you at the Hellfire table, May with the cheerleaders, Heather at her clubs, and your chest aches. You don’t know when it happened, when you had to start holding on this tight, digging your nails into them. You only know you’ll leave claw marks on your friendship before you let it go easy.

And while you can never get enough Eddie, you aren’t normally deprived of him outside of the school walls. With anyone else, you might have worried about suffocating him, being clingy. But Eddie makes it clear at every turn how much he wants to be around you. His grin in the mornings when you climb into his van. The way he leans into your space, hair tickling your cheeks, and asks all soft and earnest if you want to go home with him. Some days, he invites you into the trailer to touch and taste you. Others, to sit on his couch or his bed and talk. Or to just spend hours just breathing the same air as him, listening to him scribble in his D&D notebook or strum at his guitar while you read or do your homework. 

But you won't see him tonight. Eddie is going to see Fright Night with most of the boys in his club, and it's all he's talked about the past week. He'd asked you to come, all wide brown eyes and dimples, and your stomach had twisted. 

"Normally May and I do something around this time each month." You hadn't been able to look him in the eye when you said it, fiddling with his hands instead. You'd rubbed the softness of your thumb over the callused pads of his fingers, knowing he had that look he'd been getting whenever you found yourself bringing your friend up. A little sad, guilt he shouldn't be feeling. Irritation, at you or at her you're not brave enough to ask. 

"You sure?" He asks over the phone now. "It'd be pretty easy for me to pick you up. I'm giving Wheeler a ride. He's just down the street from your place." 

You feel a wave of fondness for him, for the lie he’s just told. He isn’t aware that you know exactly where Mike Wheeler lives. You’ve babysat Holly since you were sixteen, and the route to her home takes half an hour in your dad's car. 

"I'm sure," you say, trying to sound firm. "But I hope you like the movie."

"If it's good, maybe we can see it together another time." 

"You wouldn't mind going twice?" 

"I'd watch the same movie twenty times in a row if you promised to come to the last one." He laughs, sounding enough like he means it that your smile hurts your cheeks. 

"That might be a touch excessive," you murmur. "Twice sounds like enough."

"How about tomorrow? We could get dinner first, make a real date out of it." 

Your face heats up like the first time Eddie asked you out. You touch your toe to your ankle, winding the cord of the phone tight around your finger. You whisper. "Okay."

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." You press your knees together. "That sounds nice."

"Unless the movie's shit, then we'll have to call the whole thing off." You laugh down the phone, imagining the tease in Eddie’s smile. "I'll have a review for you by tomorrow, sweet thing."

"Okay, Eddie."

"And I'm not leaving for another ten minutes. If you change your mind, just call, okay?"

"Okay, Eddie," you repeat. "Have a nice time."

"See you soon, beautiful." 

Your toes curl. "See you soon." 

When he's gone and the phone is back in its holder, you have to sit tense and still for a second to avoid making some kind of happy squeal, settling for curling your fingers into your skirt and tapping your heels wildly against the floor. 

You still feel a little dizzy with the thought of him when you pull the chair back into the kitchen, enough that you jump when your mom speaks. "That Eddie on the phone?" 

You fix her with a look, because she knows exactly who you were talking to, and she gives you a mock innocent smile that shifts into a real one. 

“You were laughing a lot.”

Her hands drip soapy water from the kitchen sink, finishing up the dishes that would have been done ten minutes ago if she hadn't dragged it out for an excuse to stay where she could hear you. You chew the inside of your lip while you take the next freshly cleaned plate from her. Grabbing a dry dish cloth to drag across the ceramic, you shrug one shoulder. 

“He’s funny.”

“And you like that about him?”

“Mom.”

“Just a question!” She says, holding her hands up, before grabbing the dish towel from you to wipe her wet hands. “You talk more, when it’s him on the phone. Did you know that?”

“You listen to all my conversations?”

“I’m your mother,” she laughs, bumping your hip with hers. “And I’ve never heard you so chatty.” You give her another look and she reconsiders. "Chatty for you. There's been times I've rounded that corner surprised you were even on the phone, you're so quiet. I mean, with that last boy-” She hums a disapproving tone, reaches out to fix the collar of your cardigan. "I swear you'd sit there and not say anything at all."

“It's easier to talk to Eddie,” you admit, thinking about how pleased he looks when you ramble about what you're reading, the last kid you babysat, even the new eyeshadow palette you’d saved up for and felt a touch immature being so excited about. All his encouraging nods, all the questions and affirmations afterwards. "He's…" 

He’s a million good things. Too many to name, too many to put in order. You glance at her to the side, raising one shoulder. 

"I like him," she declares. "I think he's good for you." 

Your face is hot and uncomfortable, but it still feels nice to agree. "I think so, too." 

When the dishes are away and your mom is settled on the couch with your dad watching Quincy reruns, you walk slowly upstairs, hoping that the phone will ring again before your door closes. 

You make a bet with yourself in your head. If it rings before I get to my room, it’ll be May. It’ll be May and she’ll want to be friends again and everything will be alright. You reach the top, spy the door the end of the hall. Any time after, it’ll be somebody else; a sales call, a chatty relative. 

All you hear as you pad across the landing is your parents laughing at the TV. 

With your door closed, your heart sore, you glance at your desk on the other side of the room, the cork pin board behind it decorated with memories. There is your first concert ticket, next to a postcard from the first time you left this country by plane. An askew origami frog that a boy you used to babysit made for you. A pom-pom that detached from the winter hat you wore from October to March three years running in middle school. 

There is Heather. One photo as she is now, smiling at you over a yellow smoothie. Another couple from your first years together, at the edge of womanhood. Her in braces and her mother's lipstick, the aquamarine taffeta dress she wore to your first high school prom. 

And there is May. She is everywhere, over and over again, in all the stages of her life since you met. She is in pigtails, her small hand in yours, her gap toothed grin next to your close lipped smile. She is in this room, with sparkling eyelids, the earliest and most keen model for your interest. She is at the Spring fair of 1979, holding cotton candy you'd shared soon after the photo was taken. She is at that first concert, decked out in Wham! merchandise. Swim meets and cheer competitions. A line of photo booth strips. You are there with her; both giggling, eyes crossed and tongues rolled. 

May has been a constant in your life, but now your life has shifted. Maybe you have to accept that she doesn’t want to shift with it. 

The phone rings downstairs. 

You hear your dad huff, the sound of your mom rising from the couch and heading through the hall. You hold your breath, listen to the buzz of her landline specific voice, all breezy politeness. Then she calls your name.

You practically throw yourself down the stairs, slipping at the last couple in your socks. You have to hold yourself back from grabbing the phone from her. Taking just a second to glance over your shoulder to check that she's actually walking away, you whisper into the phone. “Hello?”

"Where are you? I rented Footloose." Tears prick in your eyes at the sound of May’s voice. You look up to the ceiling, silent for too long. “You still there?”

“Yes,” you breathe.

“Where are you?” She repeats. “Second Friday of the month. It’s movie night.”

“I didn’t-” You swallow, blinking tears away as they rise and trying not to sniffle. “I thought maybe you didn’t want to see me.”

"Of course I want to see you,” she answers. “You're my best friend."

You feel your bottom lip shaking, can’t fight the sniffles this time. You drag the sleeve of your cardigan across your eyes, voice cracking when you speak next. "You really mean it, May?"

"I’m inviting you round, aren’t I?” She says, sharp tone softened by a sigh crackling in your ear through the receiver. “Of course I mean it.” You hum a high sound, a stifled sob of relief, eyes squeezed shut. “Now, come watch Kevin Bacon shake his ass with me." 

❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦

You are warm under the silken soft quilt pulled from May’s bed. Your stomach is heavy with buttered popcorn and gummy worms. Your skin is soft from the homemade face masks you made in her kitchen, singing along to Cyndi Lauper and listening to May read the recipe aloud from the newest YM magazine dropped on her doorstep just this morning.

Stirring oatmeal and yoghurt together like a potion, you felt a pang of nostalgia. For a second, you were seven years old, standing with May over a muddy puddle, your makeshift cauldron brimming with gathered leaves, stones, and red berries. You’d mix it up with long, gnarled twigs and cackle together like the witches. The mucky water wasn’t just mud, then. It was poison, it was love potion. It was magic, made together. 

Today, at eighteen, you glanced up at May’s concentrated face while she attempted to separate egg whites from yolks, and let yourself be soothed by the thought that maybe some things are still as they were. 

Footloose was abandoned after Kevin Bacon finished throwing himself rhythmically around an empty warehouse, May’s interest in it vanishing swiftly after that. You found yourself on the couch talking while the film played on in the background until the popcorn was finished and the oats could be washed from your face. 

Then May led you up to her room, almost as familiar to you as your own. 

The cream lambskin rug, still matted and stained in one corner from that time you’d spilt nail polish over it. Terrified you might not be allowed to come over anymore, May told her mom it was her, and she was grounded for a week. 

You bought her those fairy lights, the ones that hang above her bed. Last year, you wrapped them in pink tissue paper, felt the satisfying swell of a present well chosen when she’d hugged you tight with the box still in her hand. 

May has her own cork board. Amongst plastic medals and concert tickets, there is you at that fair, you and Heather at prom, the second strip from the photo booth. 

“And it’s like, when was it decided that we had to pick our whole future at eighteen, anyway?” May asks, eyebrows twitching like she wants to furrow them. She fights through it, keeping them high on her forehead to let you smooth powder over her lids. “Here I am, barely out of the cradle!” You snort, and her mouth tilts a touch. “Feels like I started walking last week, and now it’s all, what do you mean you don’t have a clue what you want to do with your life? It just feels crazy to me.”

“It is.” You shift forward on the soft shag carpet, your knees bumping hers under the throw keeping your legs warm. 

“Right? I mean, you know that your brain doesn’t even really mature until you’re, like, twenty-five? So I am close enough to a child that I really shouldn’t have this responsibility.”

Humming in agreement, you rub your thumb at the corner of her eye, smudging the edge of the lilac eyeshadow there. 

“At least I have an idea where I’m going. Indiana State, here I come. You’re still applying for NYU, right?”

“Mm. Maybe,”

“Oh, come on, you have to apply at least!” She insists, eyelids twitching. “It’s the place to be, for your poetry, right?”

You hum. “I might still do Chemistry.”

“Chemis- absolutely not!” Her eyes fly open, and you make a noise of protest.

“I’m not done!”

“You are not doing Chemistry.” May says, a comic picture with one eye bordered by soft pastel tones, the other bare of colour, while she looks at you sternly. “You don’t enjoy it!”

“But I could get a job at the end,” you reason. 

May snorts, eyes closing gently, chin peaking out to let you get back into it as though she’s already won the argument. “Job schmob,” she says. “When you’re in New York, you can find a rich man to worry about that.” You frown, and like she senses it, the eye you’re not working on opens again. “Or find a rich man for me. He has to be really rolling in it though, so he can look after us both.”

You hear Eddie’s voice in your ear like he’s in the room with you. Just wait, I’ll look after you. 

“Think you can do that?” May asks. “Keep an eye out for me, when you’re making all your arty, interesting friends in New York?”

You swallow, tuning back into the conversation. “I don’t think really want me to find you a man.”

“Mmph. The way my love life is going, I’ll need whatever help I can get.” She moves a little then, a slight tilt of her head that would be imperceptible to anyone but you, who's seen every degree of emotion on May’s face. You know she’s going to drop something serious before she even opens her mouth. “I saw Liam last week.”

You fight through the temptation to stop blending the eyeshadow on her lids, keeping your tone as even as possible. “Oh?”

“When I was in Indianapolis with the girls?” Those trips with the cheerleaders you avoid desperately. The thought of being stuck in a car with Caroline on the way there and back can make you break out in a cold sweat. “He was at one of the bars. He apologised, said he wanted to maybe go out again.”

“Mm.”

“Oh, don’t.”

“I didn’t say anything-”

“That was your judgy mmmh,” she says, batting your hand away from her face to look at you straight. “Last time I heard it was when I showed you that top I bought last month.”

Despite yourself, you crack at the memory of the flouncy pink thing she’d shown you with an awkward, self-aware smile. You’d been working out how to gently tell her to burn it when she’d figured out the tone of your hum and thrown it off in front of you with a whispered, “what was I thinking?” 

Now, your tilted lips turn down at May’s solemn expression, her eyes shiny. 

You shuffle closer, tucking the blanket around the both of you gently, cocooning your legs in together. “He hurt you, last time. Used you.” 

She chews her lip. “That’s what boys do.”

“May-”

“I know you think what happened with Andy was bad, but you’ll learn, that’s just how they are. They need a little more forgiveness than girls, and some of them are worth it.”

You feel the beginning of the argument she might not be quite past. “Andy didn’t really like me, May. He only wanted-”

“The same thing they all want. The only thing they all want.”

Your heart aches for her. “That’s not true.”

“You think it’s not true right now, but when you hold out on Munson the way you did with Andy, you’ll see that it is.”

You fiddle with your fingers then, wondering if you should tell her. The guilt of not sharing that you’d started seeing Eddie prickles along the back of your neck. Your knee starts to bounce, and May blinks at you, just as attune to the meaning of your expressions. “Well, with Eddie-”

“Please, please, tell me you haven’t fucked Eddie Munson.”

“No. I mean, not yet but,” you begin, fiddling with your skirt. “Like, we’ve done, y’know, other stuff.” You glance at her shocked face, worry rising. “Don’t tell anyone. Please.”

“Why would I tell anyone something that would literally ruin what’s little is left of your reputation? You wouldn’t let Andy do anything but you’ve been seeing the freak for a few weeks and you’re, what, sitting in his dirty van giving him hand jobs?”

“Oh my god, May!”

“What? What am I supposed to think?”

You shake your head, tense your hands in your clothes. “It’s not like that with Eddie.” Your mind is awash with shiny brown eyes, soft pink cheeks, Eddie’s voice tickling your neck. “I don’t worry about anything, with him. It’s fun.”

“It’s fun.”

“It’s like, I thought sex was something a boy would do to me, something I’d have to let him do. With Andy, it was like if he took me on dates, it was what he would get in return,” you say, fiddling with the blanket. “But with Eddie it’s like,” you hum, hating how awkward this all sounds, so unused to talking about sex yourself, so used to hearing it from other, experienced, confident people. “We go on dates together, and talk together. And then with the, y’know, sexual stuff, we’re doing it…together.”

“But not really doing it, right?”

“No. But my point is,” you continue, grabbing her hand, clasping it in both of yours. “I know I don’t really know anything about boys, and I know you’re not Eddie’s biggest fan. But even though it’s not been long, I think he’s proof that, maybe, sometimes, boys aren’t what either of us thought. And if you really like Liam, then maybe he deserves your forgiveness. But I really, really don’t think he does if he hasn’t made you think twice about what all boys want. And maybe if you found somebody like Eddie-” She makes a face, but you ignore it. “I mean, somebody who doesn’t ask you to forgive them all the time. I think that would be better.”

“Well, I can tell you right now, I don’t want an Eddie.” You press your lips together, listen to her sigh. “But you’re also…probably, maybe right about Liam.”

“He doesn’t deserve you, May. I mean, to apologise when you happened to be at the same bar! If he was really sorry, he should have come to see you with flowers and everything. He probably just saw you, all pretty, and realised what a dunce he’d been.”

She smiles a little at the vitriol in your voice, usually so soft and quiet. “I missed you.”

You almost flinch. “I’ve been here.”

“You stopped sitting with me at lunch.” 

“I…” You close your mouth, shrug instead. 

“I know it’s partly my fault. I was angry, so I stopped defending you. But then, I mean, you just gave up.” 

“I just- Some of the cheer girls are so intimidating, I never know what to say to them.”

“But you don’t try.” Your heart is sore, the guilt of knowing you’ve made life a little more difficult for her. “Listen, if you want to date Eddie Munson, I can be okay with that. I am okay with that.” She nods, seemingly trying to convince herself. “But will you just try, a little more, with the cheer girls? You don’t have to defend your relationship all the time, but maybe just try talking to them about something else? You could come on our next trip!” 

Your toes curl at the thought. “I don’t know.” 

“Please? We can’t let a boy come between us.” You wonder what she’d say if she knew how hard Eddie seems to try not to come between you. “I like Heather, even though she abandoned us. And I like the cheer girls. But I love you. You’re my best friend.”

“I love you, May. It won’t change.”

“So you’ll try?”

You chew the inside of your lip, give her a little nod that has her breaking out into a smile. “Okay. Okay, great.”

You try not to think about exactly what you’ve just compromised on while you finish her make up. May sits, silent and smiling while you sweep dark eyeliner across her lids, brush mascara over her long lashes.

“There, all done.” You love this bit. May turns to the floor length mirror beside you and grins at her reflection, her pretty eyes bordered by soft pastels from your new palette. It sends a warmth through you that you’d never admit to. Knowing you’re good at this, that even the cheer girls who think you’re weird admire the way you’ll do their make up at competitions. “It’s cool, right?”

“I love it,” she breathes, shifting closer to the mirror enough that the warm throw pulls from the tops of your legs, leaving your thighs chilly. “Just one last question. You’re not gonna play that Satanist game, right?”

Your brain short circuits, having thought you’d just agreed that you wouldn’t have to explain yourself. “Um, It’s really not what you think.” 

The scene plays out in your mind. Eddie, his lips on yours, your hands tangled in his hair, letting you tilt your hips to rub yourself over his thigh, suddenly pulled away from you with a gasp. He’d thrown himself from the bed dramatically, holding his open jeans up by the waistband. You’d watched him, breathless and warm, while he scrambled for a pen before writing in his D&D notebook and looking up at you in excitement. “I just thought of a really cool way to lure them into this whole cave thing I’ve been planning. Shit. They’re so fucked.” Before you could consider being offended that that’s what he’d been thinking about while kissing you, your legs were over his shoulders, his lips were smiling at your thigh. 

You can’t help your fond laugh. “Eddie’s such a dork about it. Last week-” You pause at her expression, realising that May probably doesn’t want to hear that story. You clear your throat. “They just pretend to be fantasy characters.” Witches over a cauldron, Princesses sharing a Kingdom. “Like we used to do, sorta.”

“Yeah, when we were kids.”

You have to swallow the lump that brings up to your throat. To hear her dismissal of the time you’ve been daydreaming about since you walked through her front door. “It’s not Satanist.”

“But you’re still not going to play it, right?”

“No,” you say, feeling cold. “I don’t think I’d be very good at it, anyway.”

She watches you for a second, but says nothing before grabbing the eyeshadow palette from the floor beside you. “Let me try, then. Get you all glammed up for making s’mores later.”

You smile with closed lips, let your eyes fall shut. You have to ignore the pang in your heart, the reminder that some things are entirely different from when you were seven. 

❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄❦

“You know, I kinda thought there’d be more trembling.” Eddie’s breath tickles your ear as he whispers, again when he blows cool air on your neck just to see you wriggle a little while you look up at him, wide eyed. His pale face is illuminated only by the screen at the front of the room, but you can still see the mischief in his eyes, in the barely there turn of his smile. “I was told that taking a pretty girl to a scary movie would have you grabbing my thigh in pure terror. That you’d need me to comfort you with my masculinity.” 

You just about fight off the laugh, still glad that you are sequestered together in the back row when a soft amused noise escapes your throat. On screen, the newly transformed and aptly named Evil Ed laughs maniacally. The special effects and practical make up are impressive, but the whole thing has enough of a teen movie vibe that you’ve been about as scared as you were watching Kevin Bacon stuck on a tractor yesterday. 

“You and your masculinity should have picked a scarier movie.” You feel the flutter of nerves that accompanies teasing Eddie back, still always a little worried that it will come out wrong. The answer of Eddie stifling his laughter, eyes crinkling at the sides, has the butterflies scattering. 

“Noted,” Eddie whispers, cheeks dimpled. It strikes you how close he is now, his breath spreading over your cheeks. He leans down more, his nose at your temple, his lips pressing soft to the skin beside your eye. You shut both, breath shaking as Eddie’s mouth leaves a handful of kisses down your cheek to the corner of your mouth. There, he feels you twitch, and his eyes open to find you tense in your seat, fingers curled in your sleeves. 

You are fighting the urge to turn and check the rest of the row, the whole room, to make sure nobody is watching. The image of an attendant appearing with a flashlight taunts you, the thought of being escorted out of the theatre in shame. You open your mouth, trying to work out what to say, but Eddie just smiles at you. His hand finds yours, fingers tangling together in a gentle squeeze. 

“Sorry,” he whispers, licking his lips quickly. “M’sorry, baby.” 

You watch him lean back in his seat, face set in contentment to be sitting with you and feeling your palm against his. You’d been worried for a second there, that he might be angry with you, or that you might have to explain your worries until he understood. But it’s Eddie. 

You stare at his profile, the soft curls the brush his face, his pouty lips, and find you really, really want to kiss him, here and now. Eddie’s your boyfriend, you remind yourself with a shiver of happiness. Teenage girls have been kissing their boyfriends in the backs of movie theatres since the projector was invented, so why, why, shouldn’t you kiss yours?

You rub at the sleeve of your cardigan with your free hand, letting yourself have the comfort of looking around you quickly to make sure there really isn’t anyone else in this row, or even the one in front. With your eyes closed tight, you remind yourself that the boy who ripped your tickets looked about fifteen, not quite dedicated enough to this job to search the rows looking for kissing teenagers with an invasive flashlight. 

Pressing your knees together, you cuddle into Eddie’s side, smell his two-in-one shampoo and his aftershave and his skin. You press a kiss to his cheek, feel a little scratch of early stubble against your lips. His head turns, eyes scanning over your face. “We don’t have to, sweet thing.”

“I know.” You nod, tilting your chin up in petition. “Please?”

Eddie watches you for a second, giving you time to back out before he leans down to press his lips to yours. It’s a chaste thing; so quick that he has your mouth following him when he pulls away to make sure you’re still happy to kiss him here. Eddie breathes a soft laugh that has your stomach twisting, then his hand is covering your cheek. You feel his breath, your eyes close, and he’s kissing you. 

Eddie’s mouth is warm, but it tastes like blue raspberry slushy; sweet and sharp. At the first lick of his tongue against your lips, you feel a soft noise wanting to escape your throat, but it’s beaten back swiftly by the remaining fear that has your heart racing even as Eddie’s thumb smooths a gentle caress over your cheek. Underneath that is a new giddiness. The feeling that you’ve pushed past something, overcome a fear, however small. And to be doing this, making out with your boyfriend at the back of a movie theatre, like other girls have done.

Your arms find his shoulders, hands clasped together behind him, and Eddie smiles to your lips, just barely pulls away. His thumb stretches to rub your swollen bottom lip. “My brave girl.”

You shiver when he kisses you again, your toes curling in your sneakers. You think you could live on Eddie’s praise. Every pretty girl, smart girl, good girl he gives feels like it’s designed to leave you wanting to crawl onto his thighs, or else sit between them. Eddie’s mouth, intent on yours, wet enough that it feels like the start of something he definitely won’t finish in the back row of screen three, has you remembering how free he can be with his praise when your mouth is on him.

You weren’t expecting to like it so much, but thinking about the weight and taste of him in your mouth makes you squirm as much as the thought of his own tongue where you are most sensitive. You’ve enjoyed it every time since the first moment you spent looking up at him from between his thighs. Watching Eddie fight to keep his eyes on you, mess his own hair up when he forces himself not to take yours in his fist and push you down. His voice, desperate and breathy, coaxing you to try and take him just a little deeper, sweet thing. The quick hot flash of degradation when he taps his cock against your cheek or your tongue before pressing inside.

There is even something pleasant about the lasting ache in your jaw afterwards. The feeling that you’re willing and wanting to do something that hurts to make Eddie feel good is a sick satisfaction you're not yet used to.  

Cinema speakers fill the room with a swelling, dramatic soundtrack. A girl screams, a monster cries out in pain, no doubt making everyone else in the room jump in terror and shake with anticipation for how the whole thing will end. You can hear it, but only just, so firmly in the world of Eddie-Eddie-Eddie. 

Eddie has the beats of the movie memorised already, pulling away from you with a soft gasp just as the opening notes of the music over the end credits begin, a little line of spit connecting your lips until Eddie makes one last move to lick it away. 

The lights come up seconds later, the first groups of people standing to leave. They walk past you and Eddie, both breathless and dishevelled, without a second glance. Under the new lighting, Eddie’s cheeks are now clearly pink. It warms you from the inside out to know that you did that.

You feel the need to be close to Eddie as you leave, grasping onto his hand with both of yours when your jackets are on and he’s guiding you from the theatre. “How’d you like the movie?” He asks in the parking lot, dimples deep in his cheeks.

You hide your face in his arm, feeling that strange new embarrassment crawling up your spine. You mumble into the leather of his sleeve. “I hope nobody asks me how it ends.”

“Yeah, hadn’t thought about that.” Eddie opens the door to his van, holding your hand to help you up until you’re settled in the front seat. He leans in through the door with wide eyes. “Hey, maybe we could see it again next weekend?” 

You chew the inside of your lip. “Would I really see the end if we did?” 

His head falls forward, hair following in a wave. When his head tilts back up, one of his eyes is closed. “You figured me out that easy, huh?”

You smile at each other, Eddie looking over your face as you look over his. His big eyes, dark eyelashes, light freckles, sweet nose, plush pink lips. You’ve never seen another boy you could so comfortably describe as pretty.

You think he might walk round to his side, but instead you feel Eddie’s palm, warm at your knee. “So, uh, the thing is,” he rubs a circle with his thumb at the bottom of your thigh. “It’s Wayne’s day off, and most likely if we go to my place he’ll be in the living room watching MacGyver.”

“Oh.”

You feel guilty for being disappointed. Wayne is always polite, never breathes a word of complaint at the fact you seem to be in his home most days. The only inkling of irritation you get is never at you or Eddie. Instead, there is something in the way he drags himself from the trailer every evening, ready to stay up all night at the factory. When you’d asked where he slept, realising that the only bedroom in the trailer was the one decked out with posters and amps, Eddie had shown you the fold out bed in the living room with a close lipped smile. 

He is, more than anyone, due a day off. But you were gearing yourself up for being in Eddie’s bed tonight, trying to prepare the least awkward way of asking him. 

“And I’m happy to just hang out with you, sweet thing, you know that.” His hand squeezes, even the metal of his rings warm from his skin. “So we can go back to mine and watch MacGyver with the old man, or I could try to teach you some guitar again?” 

That’s tempting, certainly. You doubt sitting between Eddie’s legs with his arms around you, guiding your hands over his acoustic guitar was the most effective teaching method, but you certainly preferred it to any alternative. 

“But if you wanted,” Eddie continues. “Only if you wanted, I could maybe drive us to the quarry or something?” Eddie blinks, tucks some of his hair behind his ear with his free hand. “It’s, uh, quiet.”

Your heart beats a little faster, you can hear the sudden rush of it in your ears. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He asks, in that sweet way of his, wanting to make sure you’re not just acquiescing to everything he suggests. 

“Sounds good, I mean.”

“Okay,” he nods. “Belt on, sweet thing.” He gives your knee one last squeeze while you pull the belt over your front, then pushes away from the frame of the door. He taps a quick rhythm under the window when it’s closed, grins at you through the glass. You watch him jog round to the other side, hair flying out behind him, and wonder if every single thing he does will make you want him more. 

You sit in companionable silence while Eddie drives, feeling that soft comfort you only get with a few people, knowing that he’s not waiting for you to speak. You look out the window, watch the shops and gas stations disperse into houses which in turn give way to trees. All of them appear more as streaks of colour than clear pictures with the way Eddie drives, like he’s being judged on time. 

“Hey, can I play you something?” 

You turn from the window, taking a second to fully register the question before you hum a positive noise. Eddie’s right hand reaches out to turn on the stereo, the sudden attack to your ears of wailing guitar making you jump until he turns it down all the way with a sheepish smile, a murmured, “sorry.”

You watch Eddie’s hand, pale and lithe, as he skips through tracks. The metal chain that adorns his wrist is twisted a little at the leather clasp, and you reach to straighten it out with your thumb and first finger. When he’s found the right track, he turns it back up a touch, wiggles his fingers until you grab his hand. An urgent rhythm fills the van, the tell-tale guitars of all Eddie’s music, and he sighs, leaning back into his seat with a grin. 

“Hear the rime of the ancient mariner, see his eye as he stops one of three, mesmerises one of the wedding guests. Stay here and listen to the nightmares of the sea.”

Something clicks.

“Oh, that’s a Coleridge poem!” You lean forward to turn it up further with your free hand, trying to concentrate on the words. It tells the whole story from the lyrical poem you’ve had a copy of since you took an interest in the romantics when you were fifteen; a mariner who kills an albatross and is blamed for the resulting misfortune by everyone on his ship. 

“I knew you’d know it. My smart girl.” Eddie is the picture of pride, eyes crinkled at the sides. “I was reading a Steve Harris interview - he, uh, writes most of Iron Maiden’s songs? And he mentioned the reference and I just thought, you know, you might think it was cool.”

“I do.” You picture Eddie, soft and comfy in his bed, flicking through a magazine. You imagine him reading about his favourite thing, and a spark lighting in his head relating to you. Something that made him excited to share it with you. “Thank you, Eddie.”

He shrugs, like it doesn’t mean anything, but his cheeks are blooming with pink. You can’t say anything else, for fear of blurting out every thought running through your head. 

You listen in silence, trying to decide how you want to ask him. Every way to say it feels awkward and wrong. Fuck me, take me, have sex with me. You picture asking Eddie to make love and feel a mix of yearning and nausea. By the time you reach the quarry, you have been playing with the ring on Eddie’s right hand, feeling the smooth stone, twisting it round his finger, for a good five minutes.

Eddie steals his hand from you while he parks by the trees opposite the quarry, pulling the keys from the ignition and throwing them on the dashboard before reaching out to let you take hold of his hand again. The easy quiet is gone. You can feel him waiting for you to speak. Your mind screams at you to remain silent, hating the thought that you might risk humiliation with Eddie. 

“Will you look at me, baby?” Eddie pulls your hands from between you. You follow it with your gaze, watch him press a kiss to your knuckles before you meet his eyes. "I really didn't mean to, you know, imply anything by bringing you here."

You shake your head emphatically. “I know. You’d never.”

Eddie breathes a little sigh from his nose, looking relieved. You think he has to be the sweetest boy ever born, and then you can’t help yourself. Eddie makes a soft happy noise when you bring your face to his, lets you kiss his soft bottom lip. He licks softly at yours, so you open your mouth to let him in, holding back a whine and reaching up to play with the collar of his denim vest; the material rough and familiar in your fingers. 

Eddie pulls from you, licks his lips, and breathes, "I can't get enough of that." 

"Mm?"

"The way you grab at me when you get a little shy."

Your eyes widen, processing the reminder that your silly little habits are not as inconspicuous as you might wish to believe. Of course Eddie has noticed the way you fiddle with his hands, his rings, his hair, his clothes, the second you feel an uptick in the pace of your heart. But then, Eddie just said he likes it. 

"S'not annoying?" 

“Not for me! They call me Eddie the stress toy, you know. People used to come for miles around to give me a squeeze."

You laugh at his attempt at an earnest face. "Used to?" 

"Yeah, well, you got exclusive rights, these days." Eddie says, tilting his head with a touch of endearing shyness. “What kinda idiot would I have to be, not to like my girl touching me all over?”

You want him, want him, want him.

You press your heated face to his shoulder, still playing with the frayed denim of his collar while you mumble into the vest. “Eddie?” You feel the vibration of his answering hum against your cheek. “I want-” You shake your head, as if you could bury yourself into his clothes. “Can we-” You turn your face, looking at the seat behind, all the space there. 

Eddie strokes at your waist. “You wanna, uh, get in the back?”

At your quick nod, Eddie clasps your cheek with his warm hand. He tilts your head, kisses you soundly. “Stay right there.” 

Eddie jumps from the van, legs swinging, and jogs round to your side to open the door for you. “Princess,” he says, offering you his hand with a flourish. You giggle, jumping down towards him and letting him lead you round to the back of his van like a gentleman. Still keeping up the routine, he opens the back door and gestures with a bow before helping you up. 

The back is a scene of amps and wires, a bass drum with CORRODED COFFIN scrawled over the skin. Luckily there is space enough for the two of you, so you settle yourself in the middle, surrounded by enough little pieces of Eddie that the back of this van feels a little like home. When you look up, Eddie’s still outside, staring in at you.  

You press your knees together, turn them to the side. “Eddie?”

“Yeah-” his voice breaks. He tries to hide it with a cough, clearing his throat and giving his chest a couple taps with the side of his fist. “Yeah,” he repeats, deeper now, as he climbs up after you. When the doors are closed, Eddie shuffles towards you, half squatting. “So, you’re happy with the carriage, Princess?” You nod, throat tight when Eddie kneels down in front of you. “That’s good.” Something in his face changes, a spark of excitement in his dark eyes. “You wanna lay back for me?” 

The space between your legs pulses. “Mm.”

“Here,” he says, pulling off his jacket and rolling it up into a makeshift pillow. You lean back and he leans in to place it below your head, face above yours while you settle into the soft leather. His hair tickles your cheeks until he tucks it back, staring down at you. Your heart, your body, screams at you, ask him, ask him, ask him. Eddie kisses your neck quickly, shakes his head like he’s emptying out a thought. “Fuck, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this dream.”

Again, ask him, ask him, ask him.

“Eddie,” you start, mind caught between the worry of how this will go and giving in to the gentle fuzziness of Eddie’s hands rubbing gently at your waist. You swallow, look to his eyes, then his forehead. “Will you-” The words catch, leaving you with a warm face and eyes squeezed closed in embarrassment. 

Eddie hums, gifts your cheeks his lips. His nose brushes the side of your face, and he murmurs. “Anything you want, pretty. Let me hear it, mm? ”

It’s Eddie, you tell yourself. From the first time you spoke to him, he’s never judged you for anything. He won’t judge you now. It’s Eddie, you repeat in your head. My Eddie. 

“I’ve never, um-” Your toes curl at the clear nerves in your voice, the beating of your heart that you swear he must be able to hear. “Nobody’s ever- Mmh.” 

“It’s just me,” Eddie says, thumb at your cheek. “It’s only me, sweet girl. Wanna know what you’re thinking.”

“I think,” you sigh, let some of the nerves out with it. “I think you’re beautiful, Eddie.” He blinks, surprised, but gives you a sweet smile when you touch gently at his pink cheek, feel the beginning of bristle under your finger. “And I want you. I mean, I want you to be first.” And second, and third, and every time after.

You stare at each other, breath heavy in your chest. Eddie’s eyes shine until he blinks it away. “Come- come here,” Even though he says it, he’s the one to lean down to you, giving you a chaste kiss that turns desperate when you reach up to play with his curls. 

Your head swims, relief and anticipation swirling together. A quiet moan escapes you when Eddie’s mouth moves to your jaw, down your neck. “Do you, um, have, like, protection?”

Eddie freezes. His face comes into view, brows furrowed. “Wait. You want me to fuck you right now?”

Oh. You hear the rush of blood in your ears, a ringing noise. You pull your hands from his hair, fingers curling, hands tucked to your chest. You suddenly wish he wasn’t on top of you, wish you could hide your face from him. Your head starts working overtime, supplying all the things he’s no doubt thinking about you now. You think of Erin, writing on the bathroom wall. Slut. Desperate. Whore.

“Hey,” he says, voice soft. Eddie presses his pointer finger to your temple, gives it a playful rub. “Are you doing that thing you said you do? Lying there convincing yourself you’ve fucked something up?”

A little part of you resents that he nailed it down so quickly, but you nod, blinking away the first bubbling tears, staring at the collar of his Metallica shirt rather than his face. “I just thought you’d want to.”

Eddie makes a soft noise at the back of his throat. “C’mere.” He pushes himself up from the floor of the van, grabs your hand to pull you with him. You end up curled at his side, knees just resting on the side of his thigh, his arm tucked around your shoulder as he leans you both against the back of the seats. You pull your sleeves over your hands, fidgety even as Eddie is rubbing at your shoulder softly. 

“Course I want to,” he says, leaning into you. “I wanted you on that picnic table. I want you all the time.”

That soothes you a little, enough that your right hand peeks out from your sleeve to play with the hem of his shirt. But your sensitive heart still throbs, tentative and sore. “So, why…?”

“I- Shit. Give me a minute.” Eddie hugs you tight for a second, then shuffles across the floor of the van, practically launching himself out of the back doors with a practised ease that makes you smile despite yourself. You can’t see him from here, but you hear him outside, the passenger door opening and closing behind you. When he returns, he’s got that metal lunch box he carries around with him. A different kind of confusion blooms when he sits next to you and opens it, rummaging through the little plastic bags of illicit substances. He pulls out a wad of rolled bills, a little chunkier than when you’d bought weed from him in the woods that first day.

“Wanna know what this is for?” Eddie asks, looking unusually serious when you glance at him. He opens his mouth then closes it again, eyes fixing on where he is thumbing at the band holding the bills together. “I thought you might ask me, eventually. Hoped you would, at least.” He breathes a laugh, pings the elastic. “So I’ve been saving up, you know?”

“Saving up?”

Eddie nods, turns his wide gaze to you with a tilted head. “Wanted to take you somewhere nice. Buy you dinner, something other than a burger or a pizza slice. Get a room at a hotel, with a big comfy bed. Thought I could show you-” He twitches, eyes flickering away from your face and back again. He swallows, shrugs. “S’like I said. I wanna deserve you.”

Your tense shoulders slump. Your chest aches. “Eddie,” you whisper, shaking your head. Trying again to blink away tears, you grab the roll of dollars from him, throw it back into that dumb obvious lunchbox. You climb up into his lap and wrap your arms around his shoulders. Your wet eyes meet his. “You don’t have to prove anything. You deserve-” Me, whatever you want, everything. Your fingers twitch. You close your eyes tight, ashamed you can’t look at him when you say it. “I think, all the time, about how much I wish I knew you earlier. It’s like, before, I just spent the whole time missing you.” You find it in you to look at him then, gaze at his pretty face; pink, lightly freckled, shiny under his eyes. “I want you, Eddie. I want to be with you wherever you are.”

You stare at each other, listening to the steady rhythm of your breaths until they move in sequence, chests expanding and contracting together. You get that same feeling you got when Eddie held your hand after touching you for the first time, how he listened when you told him about how you blow out of proportion in your head, the way he was angry for you when you recounted how Andy treated you. When Eddie told you that he couldn’t understand you liking him, that people have held him at arm's length for being too much, that he refuses to give up on school, believes wholeheartedly in his dreams. One moment at a time, you are peeling back layers, exposing soft tissue. You are offering each other all your hidden parts, whispering, please look after this with every squeezed hand and kissed cheek. 

Eddie sniffs, wipes his eyes. Seeing his shaky smile, hearing his wet laugh, is better than any soft bed in any hotel.

“That’s good, cause, uh, I really hadn’t saved that much.” You giggle together through lumped throats. “At the rate I was going, you were gonna be waiting till you were forty-five.” You shake your head at him fondly, reaching up to play with the feathers of hair that brush the side of his face. Eddie pulls you in closer, ducks his chin. “But I still can’t take your virginity in the back of my van, sweet thing,” he says. “It just wouldn’t be right. You should be in a bed, at least. And if you’re happy for it to be mine? I’ll just make sure my sheets are washed.”

You rub the soft ends of his hair between your fingers. “That sounds nice.”

“Yeah?” His hand comes to your cheek, helping you look at him. He must be able to feel the warmth of your face in his hand, but you lean into his palm anyway. When Eddie kisses you, it’s a gentle thing, a promise. 

When his tongue peeks out to lick into your mouth, it’s a request you’re happy to fulfil. Eddie groans at the taste of you, the sound of it registering across your whole body. Your hips roll subtly, and you feel the quirk of his lips. 

Eddie sighs into your mouth. “My pretty girl wants me to fuck her in my bed, mm?” 

The increasingly familiar zing of pleasurable shame zips up your spine. The air around you shifts, crackling like the split second of awareness before an electric shock. “Yeah, Eddie.” 

“But you need to be touched right now. So desperate,” he murmurs, the word that had mocked you minutes ago, now a warm tease. “So desperate you wanted to take my cock for the first time right here. In my van, parked by the side of the road.”

You shake your head, because you’re not really at the side of the road. Eddie was right when he said it’s quiet; nobody comes here. You’re about as likely to be found by the quarry as you are in his room. Eddie’s eyes light up with dark amusement, his hand drifting to the back of your neck. The pressure of his fingers there makes your hips twitch, your body recognising the signs, the promise of what’s to come when Eddie’s palm starts holding your head up. 

“No?” He asks, tilting his head, a teasing pout finding his pink lips. “You sayin’ I didn’t hear your right?”

Your toes curl. “No.”

The lines that run from the sides of Eddie’s nose to the corners of his lips deepen. “No, I did hear you right?”

“Eddie,”

“Ahh, yeah,” he breathes, wrapping an arm around your waist to help you lie back. He reaches out for his jacket, still rolled up on the floor, and places it back under your head. “That’s the good stuff.” You open your legs for him, let him settle his body on top of you, feeling the hardening length of him through denim and cotton at the apex of your thighs. Eddie licks his lips, tucks his hair back with a breathy laugh. “Shit. You got me thinking about it, now.”

Eddie sinks his face to your neck, the warm sting of his tongue making the mess between your legs increasingly hard to ignore. His big hand pulls at the hem of your skirt, lifting it up to your tummy. He glances down your body, eyes closing tight at the pale blue cotton cupping your mound, dark and sticky where it’s soaked up your wetness. “Wanna feel your little pussy on my cock so fucking bad. I can’t tell you how-” He cuts off a groan at the first run of his fingers over the wet material. “Christ. How many times I’ve thought about it.” 

You blink at him slowly, mind drifting into the calm of knowing Eddie’s going to make sure you both feel good. Your hips tilt naturally, helping him rub the curve of his finger over your clit through soaked cotton, then wiggling to help him more when his fingers hook into the elastic to pull them down your legs. Once they’re past your sneakers, he holds them in his hand for a second, rubbing his thumb along their centre. When you tilt your hips, pussy barely catching the rough denim over his crotch, his nostrils flare. “Don’t distract me, I’m holding precious cargo.”

He seems to settle on where to put them, draping the cotton over the top of one of the amps rather than letting them touch the floor. You giggle at his careful consideration, and Eddie’s dimples press into flushed cheeks. 

“You thought about it?” Eddie asks, watching your face when his thumb sweeps over your clit, noting the sensitivity before he starts up with tight circles that have you keening. “Thought about me inside you?”

He has to feel the new wetness between your legs that comes with your desperate nod. In truth, you’ve thought about it almost endlessly. You know it can hurt, have heard enough stories of virginity loss from the girls at the cheer table to know that it probably will. But when you imagine being close to Eddie that way, the only thing you can conjure up is the feeling of his fingers inside, how much further you’d have to stretch to take Eddie’s cock, the one that makes your jaw ache. Maybe the prospect should give you pause, but thinking about how Eddie would guide you through it sends excited shivers down your spine.

“Yes, Eddie.”

“You wanna feel my cock now?” He breathes, watching confusion flicker over your blissed face. “Know you like riding your pillow, sweet thing,” he says, your face hot at the memory of telling him how you masturbate. “But I think you might like rubbing up on me a little better.” 

Your clit twitches. You clench inside. Eddie either feels or sees the reaction of your body because he’s humming in excitement the next second, leaning down to kiss you, press his tongue to yours until you’re groaning into his mouth. He looks a little manic when he pulls away, hands scrambling with his belt when he throws himself to the side, lying on his back, ready for you to climb up on him. 

Without thinking, your hands catch his, stopping him from pulling at the loop. You squeeze his palms. “Let me?”

In answer, he moves his hands from his jeans, letting them rest flat across his stomach. You bite your lip, fighting the urge to sit on his thigh and grind against the denim just to get some instant relief. You reach out to the side of his head, grab his jacket and slide it to the back of his head. Eddie tilts his head up, lets you position it just so. You check, “comfy?” and he nods. 

Satisfied, you return to Eddie’s belt. The action of pulling at the leather is excitingly familiar to you now. The button of his jeans comes next, then his zip humming as you pull it down. His boxers are a soft check, the waistband positioned just under the first tufts of dark hair that lead to where Eddie is filling out the material. You think about his hands teasing your clit through your panties, mimicking him by brushing a knuckle over the mound peeking out from his zipper. It’s enough to make Eddie’s eyes squeeze shut, his fingers twitch. 

You hook your fingers into the elastic, start pulling them down. Eddie sighs in relief when his cock meets the air, hard enough to rise from his underwear the second he’s free. You imagine the stretch of him again, and clench down on emptiness. Eddie’s cock is a pretty pink all over. The furled skin at the top is a little shiny, and you know if you grasped his cock and pulled that skin back, his head would be wet with excitement. 

The thought strikes to just lean down and take him in your mouth, surprised to find that that’s already something of a comfort zone for you. But your clit throbs like it’s protesting, so you shuffle on your knees, feeling the sticky spread of your cunt when you open your legs to bracket his hips. You reach down, let yourself stroke Eddie’s cock just to hear the soft noise it draws out from his throat. You rub your thumb over that sensitive spot below his head, press his cock down until his length rests over the hair above it and the bottom of his soft tummy. 

With your free hand, you drift your hand between your legs, letting your fingers drift over your clit. You make a V with your fingers at the top, splitting your cunt open for him and feel a bone deep certainty that Eddie is the only person who could watch you doing this without real shame casting its shadow. 

“C’mon,” Eddie says, getting impatient. “Sit on it, use my cock how you want, just let me feel you.” 

Nodding, body instinctively wanting to follow his direction, you settle yourself on his cock. Eddie groans at the warm slick that surrounds him, hands immediately moving to your hips to help guide you. Your entrance flexes at the base of him, and he tries to pull you straight down like he could find more space between your lips for his girth. “Jesus Chri-”

Eddie’s words cut off with a choke when you glide yourself forward, hearing your wetness spread along his dick. You whine at the feeling, Eddie’s cock stimulating not just your twitchy button but your soft, clenching hole. Shifting back, your legs twitch when his head, exposed as the surrounding skin is pulled back by the clasp of your lips, catches just right against your clit. A few more blissful drags, and you are whining, hands flat against Eddie’s chest, fingers pulling at the softness of his shirt. 

You wiggle your hips, close to hysteria at how good it feels to have Eddie this close. Eddie grins up at you, the pride on his face making you all the more desperate. He looks overwhelmingly pretty like this, hair fanned out across his jacket, lips wet and swollen from his constant licking and your own kisses. His neck, as blushed as his face and his cock, is exposed and tense. His dark eyelashes that flutter every time his head drags over your clit and emerges from between your lips. His eyes, dark in the centre where his pupils have swallowed up mahogany, flicker back and forth between your face and where his cock vanishes and appears again, enveloped and released by the wet split of your pussy.

“You feel me now, mm?” He says, sounding hurried like he’s trying to get it out before his voice is swallowed up by groans. “Haven’t even taken three of my fingers, but you thought you could just lie back and take my cock?” You bounce a little when his head flicks your clit this time, torturing the swollen button with him a little longer. “Couldn’t’ve done it right, not how my desperate girl needs it. Just wanna make you feel good, you know?” 

“Feels good,” you murmur, wiggling your hips to feel his cock flex and shift over all the tender skin where you are most sensitive. “You always feel so good, Eddie.”

“Yeah? That’s it, that’s it.” Eddie’s fingers dig into your hips, no doubt leaving you with marks that will be satisfyingly tender by morning. “Fuck. Fuck, baby, I love you-r pretty voice.” He swallows, eyes now fixed on your pleasured face. “Love when you talk to me.” 

“Eddie, m’gonna-” You start to shake, and his hands grab at your hips, helping you keep moving along him even as the stimulation edges towards painful. 

“That’s it, cum on me. Let me feel it.”

Your body spasms, letting yourself move only with Eddie’s pushing and pulling as the throb of your clit spreads through your body, sends tingles up your spine. You feel your clit numb for a second, know enough now about your own body what that means for the intensity of your orgasm. You sit on that precipice, gasping in air. 

Pleasure bursts, has you shaking and moaning and, unbeknownst to you, repeating, “Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,” while the boy beneath you chases his own high, wanting to finish before you’re too oversensitive to keep your perfect warm pussy on him. 

Bending his knees, he grinds up into you, helping you slide along him. When he pulls your hips just so, and the tip of him barely catches the soft entrance of your cunt, Eddie finally cries out beneath you. The almost violent twitch of his cock between your legs makes you squirm, picturing that happening inside you. Eddie’s cum, thick and white, lands across his stomach in droplets, the last rope clinging to the tip of his cock in a way that, shamefully, makes your mouth water.

Sensitive, twitching, you rise from his body. Your shaking thighs fail you almost immediately, and you fall back on your butt between his open legs, a hand coming to cover your stimulated pussy like it needs protection. Eddie sits up, wipes his own hand across his stomach and draws his cum into his mouth with an ease that might surprise you if you hadn’t seen Eddie casually taste his own cum just about every time he’s orgasmed in front of you. 

This is what you meant, when you told May that being with Eddie is fun. Sex has always been something with disclaimers attached. Something to be enjoyed, but not too much. Something to get lost in, but not enough that you cross the line into acting slutty. It seemed to you like a tightrope nobody had shown you how to walk. 

And then there’s Eddie, who just watched you cum so hard on top of him that you immediately fell on your ass, and he’s grinning at you like he’s never been so proud of anyone in his life. “Now tell me that wasn’t way better than your pillow.” He reaches out for you, and you let him pull you into his arms, rest your head against his chest. You watch, warm in your face, while he tucks his softening cock, still covered in you, back into his boxers. “You feel okay?”

“Yeah,” you nod, tracing the blue lines of lightning on his shirt with your finger. Your thighs twitch again, and you laugh together, soft and breathless. You settle into that post high afterglow, letting yourself be comforted by how surrounded by Eddie you are. His arm around you, his chest under your head. You can hear the way his heartbeat shifts from an intense rhythm to a steady beat under your ear. There’s another sudden uptick just before he speaks.

“I was missing you, too.”

You shift, look up at him from his chest, find him staring at the ceiling. 

“Sometimes my life has felt like being dealt one bad hand after another.” His gaze shifts then, eyes finding yours. “Now, I think, maybe I was saving up for something really good without realising.” 

Eddie Munson; town freak, rumoured Satanist, bad news for sweet girls like you, on the floor of his van, arms wrapped tight around you, says; “You’re a lifetime of good luck, sweetheart.”

And then you know. 

Next Part

[wisteriainslumber]

TWST working at McDonalds

my credentials are i have never worked at mcdonalds

this is crack don’t take it seriously

warnings: swearing and cr*wley

Riddle

absolutely judges you for even coming to order at mcdonalds. there is no nutrition!! all of it is grease and sugar!!

refuses to work drivethru. yelling does nothing for his rage, his violent nature will not be contained

relax, riddle doesn’t have scarlet fever, his face just does that. is it healthy? probably not. 

is not the manager but when people ask for the manager they will call for riddle because he can do a better job

(if you hadn’t figured, the manager is cr*wley)

has the most monotone, dead customer service voice

if someone forgets to fill the coins or fails to lock up, you will be put on janitor duty to think about what you’ve done

understandably, it’s very effective

do not let him train the newbies. he thinks telling the instructions once/reading the employee handbook (THAT HE VOLUNTARILY MADE. insane man.) will prepare them. 

the reigns of training deuce and ace were then very quickly passed off to someone else

riddle gives emotional support hugs to kalim and cusses out the people who are mean to him with the fury of a thousand suns

if he weren’t so competent, he would’ve been fired

(he wouldn’t have been fired. cr*wley doesn’t want to hire new people)

he’s learning recipes from lilia on their break. after his attempt at soup gave him the flu, he has not tried to learn recipes from lilia since

a bit concerned by the screaming children. he’s never been surrounded by children his age so he thinks the scream-laughter is like a call for help

Trey

when he burns the batches of cookies he feeds them to the workers and tells them its the double chocolate chip cookies

the staff believe him because he’s never really done anything wrong

except for that ungodly amount of spare dental products in their staff washroom

normal people have toilet paper in the cupboard but their staff washroom has toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, all labeled with everyones names

no one knows who brought them, one day the cupboard was just full, but since trey keeps telling people to brush their teeth after eating the cookies it isnt hard to find out who did it

now because of him, if anyone runs out of toilet paper in the bathroom they need to text a co-worker to hand them another roll

trey finds the strongest types of coffee combinations for silver, but is getting increasingly concerned by the amount of espresso shots getting put into the cup

he will also coordinate group outfits for halloween or gift exchanges during the holidays

during the spooky season, you will find a free toothbrush in your bag or happy meal box

just... don’t ask

it was either that or licorice because trey clover is a black licorice enjoyer

Cater

makes promotional tiktok videos during his shift

specifically a “come with me to work ^^” videos where he films some things that can definitely get them in trouble. the words “health code violation” makes up 40% of the comments

hogs the stall bathrooms to break down and cry and send crying streaks to malleus

malleus hasnt learned how to use the app (yet) so cater has been treating their dms like his personal diary

he leaves sticky notes on the bathroom mirrors, lockers, and on the inside of the drivethru window saying some live laugh love kinda shit to mock trey’s white mom home decor

rook scribbles his own little stick figures of trey on them and adds speech bubbles

ace gives him the idea of summoning a demon at work and cater hopped on that without hesitation now there is a pentagram made of silly string on the wall of the bathroom

when taking orders he puts any additional notes in all caps. now deuce is staring at the order with the notes “NO DAIRY OR SHE WILL BLOW UP OUR TOILET” and “IF ACE FORGETS THE SAUCE AGAIN IM MAKING HIM CLEAN THE PLAYPLACE”

because of everyone’s incompetency, the receipt will contain these notes. sorry martha

when the manager had arrived to evaluate them, you will not find a single cater in sight

cay cay is slay slaying in hiding

Ace

hes the guy you should blame for never getting your dipping sauce or missing part of your order

he does trick shots in the back and if it lands in the bag, you get your stuff, if it doesn’t, rip

“i’m sorry you want how many chicken nuggies?? 200?? okay, word. wish i could spend that much on chicken nuggies”

will return bitch energy in the drivethru

he absolutely plays a game with deuce over if the person in the mic sounds hot or not

cater started that game, then he was kicked out for flirting with the customers

fortunately for the customers and staff alike, ace does not flirt with the customers

when someone asks for the manager he’ll walk away, then come back and speaks in a different voice and accent and cusses them out

kicked off from doing drivethru after he played cupcakke songs on there

he was raving over those minion happy meals and loved those banana cookies

it was a mistake to ask ace to do card tricks on their break because the items they gave up for the trick have disappeared

so sorry idia, your limited edition trading card will not be in safe hands

bribes the children with the happy meal toys for them to start calling riddle ronald mcdonald

riddle has no proof it’s ace’s doing but He Knows.

Deuce

he wanted to raise money to send back to his mama

how much money hes actually raising through this job though? is not a lot

brews riddle tea every morning just the way he likes it and he gets a premium riddle smile in return

takes so much time to count coins pls be patient with him

don’t tell azul, but if you’re nice, he will not charge you for any extra sauce or toppings

he “doesn’t know where the button is” wink wink

the only one who likes the easter egg mcflurries. when jack has free time, he will make one for himself and deuce and they chill on his break

(deuce doesn’t tell jack he’s still on the clock, and jack doesn’t tell deuce that he prefers oreo mcflurries more)

once got into a fight with ace over whether fish fillets were good or not and deuce threw a ketchup bottle hard enough to knock ace out cold

he apologized profusely but all ace cared about was how to throw like deuce. (he’s got some grudges and yes deuce received a ketchup bottle to his head)

in the back, you’ll find the rookies playing with that seasons happy meal toys joyfully

deuce defends the happy meal books with his life even though none of his friends agree 

its okay deuce they’re just jealous they can’t read /j

Leona

cheka filled in the mcdonalds application for leona after seeing the happy meal toys

he thinks working at mcdonalds would cheer up his unca

it does not

leona would really prefer if you just ordered at the kiosks

works drivethru and terrorizes everyone there

“can i get a umm..” “im sorry we don’t sell ‘umms’ we also don’t sell to people who cant speak properly”

dreads when he sees a group of teenagers in line. they have the most balls and he can only be recognized as the “prince working at mcdonalds” so many times before he starts throwing hands

refuses to wear the uniform properly. comes in with the most patterned ass fucking shirts. im talking leopard print, stripes, polka dots, pineapples. he’s an uncle and he dresses like one. see exhibit a

if it wasn’t a safety hazard he would also wear those uncle slippers so he can slip them off and hit malleus with them. this is the 4th time the ice cream machine is broken and cheka wants a mcflurry.

the slippers are also for his dogs to scare off judgy karens RUFF RUFF ARF BARK WOOF

stopped passing his work off to other people after vil tried to shave him bald. he shudders from the memory of the buzzing razor

Ruggie

he steals a fry before putting it in your bag

obsessively counting his earnings and will notice if he is getting paid less

makes him a very efficient cashier. if you give him strictly coins he will curse you on the inside but he’s quick to organize them all and give you the change

he also does not make you feel awkward when you’re taking longer to pay. there’s nothing to apologize for, go take ur time. helping leona has built up a looooot of patience in this guy

goes outside for his breaks, picks dandelions and makes wishes to PLEASE GET A PAY RAISE.

he wants to gtfo of this job he lives too far away from his grandma

some kid wanted their birthday at mcdonalds and ruggie personally went out to get lots of decorations for their special day

the place was filled with balloons and streamers and ruggie got floyd to dress like a clown to entertain the kids

the staff fr thought ruggie was taking revenge on them bc everyone was BEGGING to be the clown in fear of floyd being placed with the kids

ruggie knows floyd is great with kids but pretended he was the worst option for the Drama™

also because floyd bribed him with a wendy’s combo to do so. they both went to wendy’s after

he IS the christian autumn girl you WILL find him wearing infinity scarves and cardigans and uggs on the first day of september brandishing a PSL he bought with the card he stole from leona

when the staff had gotten enough of cr*wleys antics, lilia takes his car for a joy ride and treats everyone to the fountain soda. sorry, we kinda on a budget here

(ruggie pats his pocket in pride, cr*wleys credit card snug in place)

Jack

very devoted worker

believes that even if he hates his job, he can still be good at it

panics when a karen asks him why the ice cream machine isnt working but what kind of logical explanation can you give someone who won’t listen?

asks riddle to take care of it

yes those are his real ears no you may not touch them

sick and tired of hearing the jacob from twilight comparisons

jack thinks hes accumulated at least 3 mental illnesses from working here and it’s only been a few months

he’s put in the back to prepare orders instead of interacting with people which he appreciates very much. he’s kinda awkward, and people ask questions that make him uncomfortable

gets the orders out in record time. he wants them done and gone with

when vil is having another one of his meltdowns, they send jack to calm him down

the staff think jack have this magical healing power but really he just pat pats vil on the back and gives him some lemon water. 

they go out for walks if they have time and take pictures of nature and vil tells him about the plants

A+ therapy buddy, now vil needs a therapy buddy for his therapy buddy

Azul

after his plan on leaving the job failed he has a new goal: overthrow the company

even in minimal wage misery, azul will find a way to come out on top

he already is holding something over cr*wley in nrc, he will hold something over the bird man again to get a higher salary

he makes the bird raise all of their salaries actually, because he’s very generous

as thanks for his effort, he takes 2% of their earnings and no one puts up much of a fight because any salary increase in this job will do

azul may have started a revolution but he is not our comrade </3

he does not take breaks. its the sigma male grindset forever. until he’s forcibly dragged away from his coffee and his new menu additions

mans the cashier and refuses to give up his spot. customers either love him or hate him

he is constantly trying to get people to buy more food and he’s terribly good at convincing them

customers don’t know they pulled out their wallet until they already paid

he practices his charisma in the bathroom mirror. he has cue cards, and they all dictate his persona to the smallest detail.

riddle walks in just needing to pee and sees azul pulling out the shittest posh accent and language and is way too tired to care. but azul does get some tips and he walks out a little more confident

Jade

wouldve worked longer as the janitor if the washrooms werent so fucking disgusting

hey, you get to hear lots of stuff when you’re cleaning the place

most people do not acknowledge the janitor, so information gets tossed around without a care

helps kids fill their cups at the drink station, helps them put on the drink lids properly too

helps azul make bots to give this mcdonalds good reviews, specifically mentioning their names and how helpful they are <3 listen, a bitch is desperate 

in case someone is getting really annoying, jade reminds everyone that the bleach is in the bottom of the supply closet

to threaten? to drink? to poison? no one knows and jade likes being cryptic

teams up with lilia to make new menu suggestions. they aim to make one recipe that finally gets the OK

hey, mushroom oatmeal is a good idea! don’t kick it till you try it!

floyd got fed up once jade snuck mushrooms in his burger as revenge so they started a fight over the tables

there was hair pulling, shouting, biting, and a chair was thrown

apparently this is one of the tamer fights?? the only children are horrified

they’re lucky it was late because they got into big trouble with manager riddle

“big trouble” lasted about 5 minutes because floyd kept repeating “why”. with riddle’s attention on floyd, jade snuck out

thank you for your sacrifice

Floyd

the only reason hes not doing food prep jobs is to hide the fact that hes playing in the playplace

when his coworkers try to look for him he slithers in and hides in the tubes

when asked to look for a floyd, the kids cant point him out because he never tells them his name

is absolutely the ronald mcdonald mascot. he shows up in costume when he feels like it and it’s like watching the strangest joker sequel ever

does shitty magic tricks and turns off all the lights to entertain the children. staff hate him. 

once the radio stopped working so floyd brought it upon himself to bring a few hula hoops and starting hula hooping while walking and singing lady gaga

he brings in random shit to do trick shots and he moves around via hoverboard/skates at all times

he has an old lysol container he uses as his water bottle. to this day, floyd has managed to convince ace that drinking lysol will make you immortal

kicked off of the register because he will not shut his mouth. please stop hitting on customers and please stop calling people snowflakes, no matter how much they deserved it

he’s good at preparing drivethru orders even though he’s playing on his phone most of the time

(he’s texting kalim. all of them run like 3AM thoughts or shower thoughts)

Kalim

his union birthday card makes him look like a mcdonalds worker

don’t let him work in the drive thru he shouts

always hands you your food with “have a great day!”

if you are the most awful person and complain about kalim he responds with a hearty “aw shucks, sorry ‘bout that”. and while he bounces back quickly, how dare you.

he is the one that breaks the ice cream machine all the time

he Does Not Know how to operate it yet he is always the one there when someone needs ice cream

he brought sprinkles one time for the impromptu staff ice cream party he declared, but now customers think sprinkles are on the menu

he doesn’t have the heart to say they aren’t on the menu, so he personally buys sprinkles for this specific location

goes all out during parties. he will bring in a cotton candy maker and popcorn poppers and holiday treat bags

kalim drowning in riches, why is he here??

cater complained he was lonely, so kalim joined him.

they‘re always blasting the latest tunes in the back and treating tasks like a suggestion

but how can you get angry at the big, beaming smile on kalims face?

Jamil

the most efficient worker

hes so calm. hes used to stupid people.

uses his internal monologue to stay sane.

he looks aloof on the outside but he is actually screaming on the inside. everything is on fire. the floor is lava and there are no platforms.

highkey just complies to the crazy demands these bitches make because he has no energy nor mental capacity to try to reason with these people

however, he remembers every single face and name and it is going into his personalized death note

he’s on volume nine now

before jade and lilia propose their ideas to azul, they have to run it by jamil first. and jamil deems all their ideas as a one way ticket to a poison control centre

because none of them are reliable, jamil writes the numbers and names of emergency services on sticky notes and slaps them everywhere beside caters stickies

theres numbers for helplines, poison control, pest control, and electrical maintenance 

leona used one of them to write down contact information for a hitman (it is rook’s number)

jamil uses that number to call for help. it is life threatening matter (it was a cockroach)

jamil nearly whacks azul with a broom for being in the storage supply

azul hid there because alas, it is a small world and his bullies in grade school are now his customers

jamil, being a decent human being, chooses not to spritz him with rubbing alcohol and gives him some awkward reassurance

unfortunately, it works, and now jamil is azul’s emotional support human and the staff send him to find azul every time

jamil is getting an aneurysm

Vil

where vil wouldve ended up had he actually murdered neige

if a customer asks whats in their food he will give you a whole essay on where it came from, how it got transported, how its prepped, made, seasoned, and the nutritional value

he’s never felt greasier in his life. he’s gone through all of his oil blotting papers on the first week. what the hell is in the air

his makeup looks immaculate every day, its to cover up the look of “i just got my life sucked out” as soon as he clocked in

the radio doesn’t actually break. vil just mutes it whenever neige is starring in a new movie because that is all the radios will talk about. 

speaking of neige, if he and his little dwarves come in, vil will tell them he’s having a wonderful time and that this job is good for experience

if he had fewer morals he would be putting rat poison in cr*wleys morning coffee

he excuses himself to go in the storage closet and scream. epel joins him and it’s their biweekly bonding activity

very patient with the children and talks to them with an air of grace. he accepts suggestions for the types of movies they want to see him in

quarrels with leona daily. he gets called ugly, then vil’s heel will meet his toes. vil may be dignified but that doesn’t make him any less petty

sadly for leona, cheka loves vil and will tell his unca to be nicer to the pretty man

vils “yeah leona, be nice” earns him a very mature middle finger from leona

will refuse to even give this establishment clout. has their company account blocked.

after fans see vil on caters vlogs, vil changes the password to the company account so no one can post on it again. 

his true villain arc

Rook

he used to work as the janitor because he was immaculate at cleaning but the staff put him on register instead

he’s very good at appeasing people

if a customer asks whats in the bigmac he will give you a whole thesaurus but will not actually tell you whats in it or where its from

he will compliment everyone that walks up to his register. in fact, even if he didn’t speak to you, he will yell across the room and say your skin looks radiant today

his compliments are not normal, they range from “your teeth are so straight” to “you smell different...oh, you must’ve went to the walmart down the street!”

after enough complaints, vil gives rook a stern talk

it works, but now theres a new problem arising 

he’s been collecting leonas hair

it wasn’t “serious” enough of a problem to take action, but leona is preparing a restraining order

helps train the newbies the most. epel and ortho love him, which means the entire group has to

ortho follows him around asking him random questions every day because he thinks rooks answers are unconventional. he’s collecting data to help idia make friends!

Epel

all of his spare shipment of apples actually go to mcdonalds

since cr*wley doesn’t want to pay for apples he finds this the cheaper option and gives epel a slight payraise for it

epel sends the money to his mama

azul is Very Jealous.

do NOT let epel man the register he WILL throw hands.

even with his pronoun pin, bitches will still use the wrong pronouns and he Will Get Physical!

stop asking him for his number, he will cuss you out and insult your breath

also keeps tabs on these customers and writes them down on their clipboard. sebek is in on this and will very Loudly cuss out these people if they harrass epel again

he has been reported to the manager at least once a week but he can’t get fired bc cr*wley needs those applys

congrats epel, you got privilege

teams up with ace to prank the staff. they replace the coffee machine with coke cola and move everyones belongings in the wrong lockers

he brings scented candles into the washrooms, vil brings the lighter. they accidentally trigger the fire alarm but they sit there calmly staring at the candle wick

gets swarmed during the holidays because he has to help azul write down recipes (absolutely not the family recipes. those are secret) for the seasons. 

because of this he spends lots of time with azul and learns a lot about him. now azul has 2 emotional support humans

makes emotional support apple cider for azul. favouritism acquired! 

Idia

is banging the door to the bathroom cater is hogging and cater lets him in they lock the door and cry together

when a customer throws down a bunch of coins idia debates jumping off a building

why the hell does this customer want mcdonalds to do the catering to their party 

he IS the one silently judging everyone but he thinks everyone is silently judging him too

kids love to point at his hair and ask to touch it

please do not touch his hair. few people ever get close enough to touch him. idia will break down

they want 100 hashbrowns? damn bitch who is you feeding? idia cant fathom someone having that many friends

he quits being the cashier and decides to work as a janitor instead. at least no one will look or talk to him

he enjoys being the janitor but he soon finds out that people are heckin nasty. the messes he cleans up are ones he never thought would come from grown ass adults

once a kid dropped her toy and idia (after cursing his life and gathering all his courage) picked it up for her, and the little girl loved his hair so much. now he has the nickname of “flame princess” from adventure time

pulling for his favourite characters on his break as lilia makes summoning rituals for them

they work, so now lilia is invited to every kind of gacha pull idia does. he boosts the SSR rates up 10%!

Ortho

declining cards of people who laugh at idia for stuttering

he finds their cars, their addresses, their jobs, everything about these people. they’re prepared just in case idia wants them :)

ortho encourages rook to fly a arrow through their car windows

they have a swear jar and ortho funds it the most

absolutely steals some of the happy meal toys for himself and idia to play with

bonding with street cats and people of all ages

people think ortho is a walking ad for mcdonalds bc he invites them to visit his workplace, but he’s conducting exposure therapy for idia. these are friends you havent met yet!

technically he is under apprenticeship training but poses as an employee to get money

he wants the new PS5 👉👈

whenever vils new movies comes out, ortho prepares an entire fan review to discuss with vil. he’s his biggest fan!

vil takes the feedback and gives ortho candy as thanks for his support

ortho is the staff favourite and he even gets extra tips because of his cute face

gets convinced to give azul a dollar for every board game he plays with idia

Malleus

lilia told him this was summer camp

lurks around, says hi to people. wants to befriend idia but idia thinks mal is messing with him

one of the few who get to hear riddle bitching about his job. he doesn’t really understand, but is a good listener

will ask cater how to work the social medias and cater makes mal swear to not open his magisnap

malleus doesn’t even know what that is and apologized to cater for opening up his magicam page </3

sebek fr breathing down his neck and the only place to hide from him is in the bathroom

he finds cater and idia there crying in the corner and he joins them to fit in

they are now an unofficial group of social outcasts and they occasionally meet up to play pokemon (mal watches)

he’s in charge of refilling the ice but he just??? disappears from his shift midway??? and now theres no ice bc they’re too busy cleaning up the fucking silly string in the bathroom

people avoid him so he just does work in the back

and by work in the back i mean he’s terrorizing leona while he’s terrorizing the customers 

he’s stuck on tray washing duty bc it is too dangerous for him to do anything else

he is very unsafe near the hot oil, he practices no safety procedures near the hot steam and water. 

maybe it’s best to put him on ice cream machine duty... it’s always broken anyways

Lilia

hes experienced so many things in his long long life but he hasnt experienced customer service before

prefers this over being in the military actually

kids love to point out the little bat ears on his head

decorated the place for halloween one year but then it was transferred to azul because the skeletons hanging from the ceiling were scaring the children and the (fake..??) blood in the back was scaring the staff

do not be frightened by watching him drink ketchup in the back, he just Does That

babies literally everyone and everyone (reluctantly) calls him dad as revenge

it was weird at first but now lilia is asserting his new dad status and performing the most bass boosted, earth shattering sneezes known to man

on one of his dad status days, lilia goes “relax my sons, i am only fucking one of your mothers.”

silver doesn’t even know his mother but he dies a little anyways

if given a burger, he picks out the tomatoes and pickles and eats them. jamil is kind of horrified

he keeps making new suggestions to the menu but after the third rejection of turkey-tomato-cookie sandwiches, he cooks all the employees lunch every month to show off his spectacular culinary skill

the next staff meeting, they tell lilia to stop limiting his cooking to just them, as it should be “shared to the world on the secret menu”

Silver

was also signed up for ‘summer camp’

naps on the clock but is an excellent worker for the night shift

yeah this might have been his seventh cup of coffee today and yeah maybe that’s concerning but dw it’s nothing a few bathroom breaks can’t fix

riddle is staring in horror

very chill, never sounds stressed, and gets everything out at a reasonable time

only thing to complain about is that he gives an ungodly amount of napkins for no reason

the environment is dying singlehandedly because of silver giving you six napkins for a single ice cream cone

sings to himself to keep himself awake and it soothes the staff so much

on the less busy hours of the night shift, silver tutors deuce on science

as thanks, deuce offers to take silver to a build-a-bear

they get matching bunnies they both respectfully name “max” & “ruby”

silver and ruggie have a wordless agreement to cover each others shifts when the other is busy

they don’t hang out outside of work but they are ride or die on the clock

lilia is a Proud Father

Sebek

when he answered the why do you want to work here question he truly meant every word of “because i care about the company and its values” with his whole chest

was transferred to work drivethru because he was angering the customers but now he’s blowing up the speakers

if you ever wonder why your burger is so flat it’s because sebek uses so much force when wrapping it you’d think he was personally insulted by the burger itself

too much energy. he will always forget your ketchup and sauce packets bc he is speedrunning all of your orders

straight up locks the doors in front of your face and glares at you for trying to come in at 8AM on a monday

loudly chatting with trey about the importance of brushing your teeth because trey is the only one that will talk to him /j

sebeks too loud so any kind of secret or gossip cant be shared with him

leona absolutely hates being in his presence but will spread rumours about rook stealing dna to make voodoo dolls to sebek so everyone’s eyes will be on rook

now leona has free bodyguards 

he is the only person to order off of lilias “secret menu” to see him happy

sebeks life expectancy rate is declining by the day

Tagging the skrunklies!! Thank you for your excitement :D

@spadecentral​ @ruggiethethuggie @mellyteddy​ @theheavilyindulgentgoat​

[misscalming]

DND WITH THE TOS CREW

Scotty : 10/10- does the best voices - quick at the maths part - strongly influenced by Gaelic folk stories - makes cool puzzles to solve - runs the most G rated campaigns out of everyone - swears sometimes and apologises for it - really likes teamwork and found family tropes - makes cool as fuck props - dresses up as a wizard - very wholesome - super passionate - beginner friendly -

Uhura : 8.5/10- actually keeps the players on task - good at organising shit - probably makes up cool fictional languages/texts to decipher - makes cool puzzles for players to solve - u feel a little stupid when you can't solve the really hard riddles tho -

Bones : 7/10 - has zero patience - would either rage quit or make the bosses impossible to kill - takes sick pleasure out of taking away everyones hit points - runs the shortest campaigns - kills off everyone as quickly as possible - only became DM after agreeing to play dnd but only if he could be the DM - you miss one session and you come back to see your character has lost 3 limbs and is on 2 hit points

Kirk : 10/10 - goofy voices - makes the best NPCs - kinda gets distracted by players' discussions - runs some of the longest and weirdest campaigns out of the lot - makes heaps of props (not quite as good as scotty's but close) - low key a people pleaser and indulges really dumb side quests the players make up like finding the toilets or some shit - basically all the main "important to the plot" NPC's he plays are hard flirts - has spare dice for everyone - makes awesome stories and great at entertaining everyone with his villain speeches - gets really upset but tries to hide it when you have something on and miss a session and you feel really bad because he puts a lot of effort into the campaign and it means a lot to him - would love to sit down and make character sheets with beginners but doesn't have the time :(

Spock : 7/10- great atmosphere - will put on Vulcan music and vividly describe some waterfall for 30 minutes - kinda boring? - but okay if you like poetry - doesn't let you mess with the NPCs or do ridiculous shit - says "Are you sure you wish to do that?" a lot - impossible to beat bosses - "love wins" every fucking time and fighting never actually solves anything - cock blocks u from the NPCs :( - does not have spare dice for everyone and will make u leave if you don't bring your own dice - no variety in the roles he can play - every npc is just a Spock self insert clone lol - doesn't give you time to think about what to do or let you talk to other players if their characters are physically separated from your own for "realism"

Chekov : 6/10 - communist manifesto role play - feels like you're in an episode of Seinfeld on crack - makes really confusing plots with twenty storylines and thinks he's a literary genius - does really bad accents - spits when he gets too into it - which is often - if you sit a few chairs away and are there for some nonsensical shit he's the dm for you - takes it so seriously you have to laugh - Spock just silently stood up and left after 3 minutes of the first session and never came back - makes really good drawings of everyone's characters tho - just a bad star trek episode in dnd form

Sulu : 4/10 - doesn't really know what he's doing - god his voice tho - forgets the rules sometimes - "uhh what happened last session again?" - "What happened to (insert NPC name here)?" - "Oh- uhh they died, moving on" - doesn't have the drive to be the DM at all really - probably makes nice stories which criticise capitalism - makes you bring your own dice, character sheet and miniatures

Chapel : 6/10 - accidentally shows everyone her notes - lets the players run the game - spends half the time flipping through the handbooks looking for random monsters to throw in on a whim - dedicates herself to her speeches - likes player debates - pretty good at steering the plot

[musubiki]

The m34th going through different witch seduction tactics, meanwhile Lime is just: thighs thighs thighs thighs

HE WOULD!!!!! also it would be VERY funny if the anti-witch-seduction (AWS) training had the exact same vibes as those free speech training things they make you do in university where you watch a bunch of bad acting videos and answer very easy questions that have very obvious correct answers if youre not a monster

lime having to sit there watching another video of someone dressed as a fake witch and then taking a multiple choice quiz thats like "You see a witch trying to bribe you with her body, do you A) bring her in anyway, or B) give in?" and hes like "Boy oh boy i wonder what the right answer is"

or its one of those cringey corporate team meeting vibes where everyone sits down in a big room and the manager goes "okay im not naming names but REMEMBER IN THE HANDBOOK how it says we're not supposed to sleep with witches?? yeah?? that was in the handbook guys. please read it again if you need to. this is not team player behavior"

[mariacallous]

When Robin Marty was writing her 2021 book The New Handbook for a Post-Roe America: The Complete Guide to Abortion Legality, Access, and Practical Support, people often asked her why she didn’t just make it an online resource. 

“I said, ‘Well, we can't guarantee that online is always going to be accessible for people,’” says Marty, who is director of operations at the West Alabama Women's Center in Tuscaloosa. Her concern that women might one day be restricted from reading about abortion online proved prescient.

State lawmakers in Texas are considering a bill introduced last month that would make it illegal to provide information on how to access abortion. The bill would also require internet service providers to block websites offering content like that in Marty’s book, allow prosecution of abortion pill “distribution networks,” and permit anyone to sue a person who shared anything about how to access a medical abortion. The proposal borrows from a Texas law passed in 2021 that offers a cash bounty to citizens who sue a person who helped facilitate access to abortion care.

The Texas proposal to restrict information about abortion follows a recent flurry of attempts to limit reproductive rights in the US, with a particular focus on medical abortions—that is, abortions induced by medication. Experts worry that if passed, the bill could incentivize platforms and internet service providers (ISPs) to censor abortion-related content more broadly for fear of costly court cases. 

“It’s scaring the platforms and the ISPs and the speakers into thinking that they can be liable for the speech,” says Jennifer Pinsof, a staff attorney at the Electronic Frontier Foundation. “So it’s having a chilling effect and advancing the goal of keeping this information from being accessible to people online.”

Access to good information about abortion could become even more important as new restrictions are placed on the procedure. Earlier this month, a Texas judge ruled to suspend the Food and Drug Administration’s approval of mifepristone, a pill that in combination with misoprostol is part of the standard process for a medical abortion. This week, a federal appeals court ruled that though mifepristone could still be used for abortions, it can no longer be prescribed by mail.

The proposal to block Texans from accessing information about abortion, introduced by three male Republican representatives, is the most far-reaching attempt to date to limit how easily people learn about abortion access in the US. But it is not without precedent. Arizona has had a ban on advertising abortion services on its books since 1873. Other states, including Virginia, Louisiana, Michigan, and California, have restrictions on advertising the procedure.

Free speech is generally protected in the US under the First Amendment to the Constitution, while technology platforms have successfully argued that Section 230 of the 1996 Communications Decency Act means they can’t be held liable for content posted by users. 

However, the bill being debated in Texas could essentially sidestep at least some of these protections by enlisting citizens to police information about abortions. Instead of the government cracking down on content, citizens would file civil court cases, with potential targets including social platforms and ISPs hosting websites or social posts offering information about abortion.

Pinsof says companies facing such legal threats would have little incentive to defend the free speech of their users if it helped them avoid litigation. “We’ve seen over and over in different contexts that platforms are vulnerable to censorship pressure because they're afraid of being sued,” says Pinsof. “So it's easier to take stuff down than it is to potentially open yourself up to liability.” 

Another part of the law would require ISPs to “make every reasonable and technologically feasible effort to block internet access to information or material intended to assist or facilitate efforts to obtain an elective abortion or an abortion-inducing drug.” It also shields them from legal liability resulting from such takedowns, which Pinsof thinks could further encourage companies to remove content related to abortion.

Platforms are currently watching a case in the Supreme Court which argues that tech companies can in fact be held liable for content promoted on their platforms. Any weakening of that protection could expose companies to additional legal hazards in Texas under the proposed bill if they allowed pro-choice content to be shared on their services. Pinsof says the law can be read as making the provision of information about abortion “illegal both for speakers themselves, and also for platforms.”

WIRED reached out to Twitter, Reddit, Meta, and TikTok to ask whether laws like the Texas bill would induce them to change their moderation policies on abortion-related content. None responded. However, experts say that the platforms might preemptively begin limiting content related to abortion. 

Last year, WIRED found that Meta was already restricting some abortion content on its platforms, regularly removing posts that referenced accessing abortion pills under rules barring the sale of “illegal or regulated goods." 

The Texas bill could also have major implications for search engines, making it more difficult for women to find accurate information about abortion services. So-called “crisis pregnancy centers”—operated by anti-choice organizations—often use promoted results to get themselves to the top of searches for abortion providers. 

“There’s effectively competition between pro- and anti-choice groups to win those slots at the top of Google search,” says Callum Hood, head of research at the Center for Countering Digital Hate, a nonprofit that tracks disinformation. “There will be no alternative in search results other than what anti-choice groups have to say about abortion,” he says. 

Neither Google nor Microsoft responded to requests for comment about how or whether search results or ads might be modified or restricted in response to the Texas bill.

Hood says he worries that censorship could lead ISPs to decide that hosting abortion-related websites carries too many risks. ISPs have previously blocked websites for illicit materials like child pornography.

“The easiest thing for them to say is just, ‘We're not going to host any website that’s to do with abortion. Full stop,’” says Hood. “It is going to create an incentive for them to just take simple steps, which is to avoid any ambiguity over whether or not they are facilitating access to information about abortion-inducing drugs.”

Marty says that, should the bill be enacted, activists will work out ways around it, as they have for previous restrictions. But she acknowledges that these strategies may still leave many women without critical information, because digital information has become so important.

Pro-choice activists and educators sometimes use QR codes, which can easily be printed as stickers or posters and left inconspicuously in public places to point people to abortion information. “Most of the activism has already and will continue to pivot to QR codes and other ways of providing informational links without the actual information being visible in a text form,” she says. “But even a QR code is a whisper network. You have to know that this is a thing to find the information on.”

[stoicbreviary]

Stockdale on Stoicism 31

Enchiridion means "ready at hand." In other words, it is a handbook. Its author, Epictetus, was a very unusual man of intelligence and sensitivity who gleaned wisdom rather than bitterness from his early first-hand exposure to extreme cruelty, the abuse of power, and self-indulgent debauchery. 

Epictetus was born a slave around 50 A.D. At 15 he was sold at a slave auction in Rome to Epaphroditus, a secretary to Emperor Nero. When Epaphroditus helped Nero complete his suicide attempt, Epictetus was able to venture out on his own. 

Being a serious and doubtless disgusted young man, he gravitated to the high-minded public lectures of the Stoic teachers who were then the philosophers of Rome. 

Epictetus eventually became apprenticed to the very best Stoic in the empire, Musonius Rufus. After ten or more years of study, he achieved the status of philosopher in his own right. 

With that came true freedom, and the preciousness of that was duly celebrated by the former slave. In his works, individual freedom is praised about seven times more frequently than it is in the New Testament. The Stoics held that all human beings were equal in the eyes of God: male and female, black and white, slave and free. 

Epictetus speaks like a modern person, using "living speech," not the literary Attic Greek we are used to in men of that tongue. The Enchiridion was actually penned not by Epictetus, who was above all else a determined teacher and man of modesty who would never take the time to transcribe his own lectures, but by one of his most meticulous and determined students, Arrian, who, with Epictetus's consent, took down his words verbatim. 

Arrian bound the lectures into books; in the two years that he was enrolled in Epictetus's school, he filled eight books. 

Arrian put the Enchiridion together as highlighted extractions "for the busy man." 

That last morning, Rhinelander told me, " As a military man, I think you'll have special interest in this. Frederick the Great never went on a campaign without a copy of this handbook in his kit." 

—from James B. Stockdale, Master of My Fate: A Stoic Philosopher in a Hanoi Prison

[coochiequeens]

Maya Forstater, who lost her job after saying that people cannot change their biological sex said: 'This policy is a recipe for bullying women out of the workplace and making it hostile and intimidating for them.'

NHS managers are told not to offer sympathy to female colleagues worried about sharing toilets with biological men in woke handbook

Thousands of workers at hospital trust in the North East were given handbook

It forbids team leaders using 'I understand your concerns' to those who complain

By CONNOR STRINGER and JACK HARDY and SHAUN WOOLLER

PUBLISHED: 17:02 EDT, 3 August 2023 | UPDATED: 17:02 EDT, 3 August 2023

NHS managers have been told not to sympathise with female colleagues worried about sharing toilets with biological males.

Thousands of workers at a hospital trust in the North East have been given a woke handbook which forbids team leaders using phrases such as 'I understand your concerns' to anyone who complains about the issue.

The 38-page document, which applies to more than 8,300 doctors, nurses and support staff, also says that it is discriminatory not to use a trans or non-binary person's preferred pronoun.

South Tyneside and Sunderland NHS Foundation Trust has been accused of unlawfully discriminating against employees with gender-critical views, with critics calling it 'a recipe for bullying women'.

The Free Speech Union also said the policy must be withdrawn.

Toby Young, director of the Free Speech Union, said: 'We are especially concerned by its insistence that female staff cannot refuse to use the same bathroom facilities as biological males and cannot express any concerns about having to do so'

Under the 'Transitioning at Work and Gender Diversity Policy', staff are told it is transphobic to 'deliberately use the name a Trans colleague had prior to transition'. They are also told it is offensive to ask a trans or non-binary person questions such as 'which bathrooms do you use?'

The policy tells bosses that employees who identify as a different gender should be allowed to use alternative changing rooms and showers, even if they have no plans to medically transition.

It reads: 'Managers must not make supportive comments such as 'I understand your concerns' to staff who, for example, complain about Trans or Non-Binary colleagues having access to gendered spaces.

'This policy applies to everyone, including applicants applying for a job, staff including agency and volunteers, services users and carers, visitors, stakeholders and any other third party organisations who work in partnership with the Trust.'

Under the 'Transitioning at Work and Gender Diversity Policy', staff are told it is transphobic to 'deliberately use the name a Trans colleague had prior to transition'. They are also told it is offensive to ask a trans or non-binary person questions such as 'which bathrooms do you use?'

The Equality Act orders employers not to discriminate against staff on several 'protected characteristics' that include religion and belief. Now campaigners have told the trust the policy must be scrapped.

In a letter to bosses at the Trust, Toby Young, director of the Free Speech Union, said: 'We are writing to request that this policy be immediately withdrawn and an urgent review undertaken.

'We are especially concerned by its insistence that female staff cannot refuse to use the same bathroom facilities as biological males and cannot express any concerns about having to do so.

'The Trust must strike a balance between protecting trans individuals from harassment and discrimination and protecting the rights of gender-critical employees.'

Gender-critical author Helen Joyce added: 'This policy clearly unlawfully discriminates against Trust employees who hold gender-critical beliefs.'

Kath Griffin, director of human resources and organisational development at the Trust, said: 'This policy was developed in partnership with our staff and trade unions. It is... an important part of promoting, respecting and celebrating equality and diversity.'

A Department of Health spokesman said: 'Biological sex is fundamentally important when it comes to defining what a woman is and protecting single sex spaces.

'Spaces which are reserved solely for women and girls should be maintained by NHS Trusts in line with the Equality Act.' 

Maya Forstater, who lost her job after saying that people cannot change their biological sex said: 'This policy is a recipe for bullying women out of the workplace and making it hostile and intimidating for them.'

[hey-look-another-dead-vore-blog]

(A fic originally intended to get the Within Us out-)

[Kokichi's POV]

There are two impostors among us...

Another Saturday, another chance to play Among Us in the Neo World. My eyes scanning through everyone's positions on the map, I sighed. Between the vertigo on the airship, all the tasks I had to do, and the looming threat of the impostors, my mind was too crowded on these days to think about much else. Still, I was determined to catch whoever was causing trouble this time. With Shuichi and Rantaro already gone, I couldn't hesitate.

Where could I get the most alone time to think about this... Dammit, Electrical!? Nobody goes into Electrical without a task to prompt them, and for good reason! You can easily get cornered and killed, and it's a fucking maze on this map! I nearly threw my handbook onto the floor in frustration, but I restrained myself and instead checked my task list to try and compose myself. Turned out I had a task in Electrical, so... ugh, let's just get this over with.

I stepped into one of the several isolated rooms, anxiety growing with every step I took. That certainly didn't help the vertigo... I took a deep breath to calm my nerves as I approached the panel. I just had to divert the power. Shouldn't be too hard, right...?

As I was trying to find the right switch, I felt a strong grip on my wrist, and I tensed up all over again. The loud electric crackle of a sabotage filled my ears, and the next thing I knew, both the lights and my tracking bracelet were completely fritzed out. And then, as if the vertigo I was feeling wasn't bad enough, I felt myself slowly shrinking down to size. This was bad, this was bad! As soon as everything started happening, I knew an impostor had come to get me. 2 inches tall, I was so vulnerable I could've passed out from the overwhelming anxiety.

I was lifted by my scarf to be eye-level with the impostor. It was way too dark to see their face through their visor, but the cyan color of their suit gave them away as none other than Kiibo. Taking off his helmet to reveal his face, he let out a sigh as he lifted me above his head. He opened his maw to reveal razor-sharp canines and a glowing forked tongue. I barely had time to register anything before I was dropped in and pinned to the inside of his cheek.

"Shh... It's alright... I won't hurt you..." he muttered through his limited speech. What was he saying...? He comes for me as an impostor and dares to say he won't hurt me? None of it made sense... Just when I thought I was free, I felt myself slipping back into some tunnel. I gasped, scrabbling for something to grab onto, but no luck. I felt my legs being tugged at, and near-immediately, a thick gulp sent me down.

[Kiibo's POV]

I sighed in exasperation. I always hated Electrical on the Airship, that maze of a room, but getting my second catch of the game certainly didn't hurt. I had to admit, Kokichi did feel nice, squirming on the way down. Really, I didn't want to employ that function in the game, but with the potential guilt surrounding actually killing anyone, I just had to.

I placed a hand on my midsection as I felt Kokichi enter. He was screaming something that I couldn't quite make out, and he was DEFINITELY mad at me. I put my helmet back on so I wouldn't appear suspicious and started to head out.

Soon, I saw Tsumugi crawl out from a vent in the kitchen, staring me dead in the eye. "Second kill," she whispered. "You get anything done?" I nodded and traced a finger down my neck to silently communicate that I'd scored my second catch. She nodded back excitedly. "So, who did you... You know?"

"Kokichi. I cornered him in Electrical."

"Wow, good job!" she said, giving me a thumbs up. Suddenly, the emergency meeting alarm sounded. We both sighed, softly, and she grabbed me by the wrist (don't ask me why) as we walked to the meeting room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watched as the others argued over the impostors' identities, having all but tuned it out by now. They were just getting nowhere with this, and while that was good for me and Tsumugi, it was annoying and boring. I felt a rising sense of dread, but I tried to ignore it, hoping someone incorrect would be voted off.

Suddenly, static filled our handbook screens, and that static was quickly replaced by Shuichi's face. At that moment, it was like my body froze over. Shuichi's handbook managed to get back on. And he was video-calling us all from inside of my stomach. Oh no.

"Is it working? Is everyone hearing me okay?"

"Gimme that! I need to have a word with Kiiboy!"

"No! You'll just mess things up for everyone!" Shuichi shouted at Kokichi, and the dread I was trying to ignore began to bubble up to the surface. How did this happen? I suppose a loophole in the rules might have allowed Shuichi's tracking bracelet to come back on and connect, even while he was inside of me, but it was still terrifying.

"Guys, Kiibo is an impostor," he continued. "He ate both me and Kokichi. I'm calling from inside his stomach right now..." I placed my handbook on the table, curling in on myself as I wrapped my arms around my middle. I could feel everyone staring at me with a disapproving glare.

Votes were cast. I was out.

[3rd person POV]

"Alright, Kiibo, the jig's up. Let those two out!"

"No, screw you!" Kiibo hissed at Kaito, who had just locked him in the Brig. "I broke the tracking bracelets before I swallowed those two. They are out of this round, and if you disagree, you can rip it out of my cold, metallic hands!" Kaito simply walked away, unable to argue, and Kiibo sat down.

He pulled out his handbook and sighed. "So how did your tracking bracelet even come back on after I ate you?" he asked Shuichi, placing a hand on his stomach. He felt a little mad, since the tracking bracelet coming back on when it wasn't supposed to was what allowed him to get ratted out as an impostor.

"Well, I think it's because since we aren't technically dead in here, my tracking bracelet came on after some time," Shuichi said, holding up his hand to show said tracking bracelet. That was reasonable; if a tracking bracelet's owner wasn't killed within two minutes of it being broken, it would come back online again. Kiibo knew it all along, but the loophole was still frustrating.

Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his belly, making him curl in on himself. "Kokichi! Stop that!" he heard Shuichi shout, sounding really angry. Ah. As expected. Kokichi tended to do that whenever Kiibo ate him. That boy just hated getting eaten, and wanted out as soon as possible.

"Sorry, Kokichi, but you'll just have to deal with being in my stomach for now," Kiibo sighed, leaning back. "It might be a while before the game is done..." Kokichi huffed, and he felt another kick to the stomach walls. These were going to be some long minutes...

After that game, a new rule was instated that if someone was eaten by an impostor instead of killed off proper, they weren't allowed to use their handbook for the rest of that game.

[aronarchy]

https://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/an-intimate-history-of-antifa

In “Antifa: The Anti-Fascist Handbook,” published last week by Melville House, the historian Mark Bray presents the Battle of Cable Street as a potent symbol of how to stop Fascism: a strong, unified coalition outnumbered and humiliated Fascists to such an extent that their movement fizzled. For many members of contemporary anti-Fascist groups, the incident remains central to their mythology, a kind of North Star in the fight against Fascism and white supremacy across Europe and, increasingly, the United States. According to Bray, Antifa (pronounced an-tee-fah) “can variously be described as a kind of ideology, an identity, a tendency or milieu, or an activity of self-defense.” It’s a leaderless, horizontal movement whose roots lie in various leftist causes—Communism, anarchism, Socialism, anti-racism. The movement’s profile has surged since Antifa activists engaged in a wave of property destruction during Donald Trump’s Inauguration—when one masked figure famously punched the white supremacist Richard Spencer in the face—and ahead of a planned appearance, in February, by Milo Yiannopoulos at the University of California, Berkeley, which was cancelled. At the “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, a number of Antifa activists, carrying sticks, blocked entrances to Emancipation Park, where white supremacists planned to gather. Fights broke out; some Antifa activists reportedly sprayed chemicals and threw paint-filled balloons. Multiple clergy members credited activists with saving their lives. Fox News reported that a White House petition urging that Antifa be labelled a terrorist organization had received more than a hundred thousand signatures.

.

Many liberals who are broadly sympathetic to the goals of Antifa criticize the movement for its illiberal tactics. In the latest issue of The Atlantic, Peter Beinart, citing a series of incidents in Portland, Oregon, writes, “The people preventing Republicans from safely assembling on the streets of Portland may consider themselves fierce opponents of the authoritarianism growing on the American right. In truth, however, they are its unlikeliest allies.” (Beinart’s piece is headlined “The Rise of the Violent Left.”) According to Bray, though, Antifa activists believe that Fascists forfeit their rights to speak and assemble when they deny those same rights to others through violence and intimidation. For instance, last week, the North Dakota newspaper The Forum published a letter from Pearce Tefft in which he recalled a chilling exchange about free speech with his son, Peter, shortly before Peter headed to the rally in Charlottesville. “The thing about us fascists is, it’s not that we don’t believe in freedom of speech,” the younger Tefft reportedly said to his father. “You can say whatever you want. We’ll just throw you in an oven.”

For Bray and his subjects, the horror of this history and the threat of its return demands that citizens, in the absence of state suppression of Fascism, take action themselves. Bray notes that state-based protections failed in Italy and Germany, where Fascists were able to take over governments through legal rather than revolutionary means—much as the alt-right frames its activities as a defense of free speech, Fascists were able to spread their ideology under the aegis of liberal tolerance. Antifa does not abide by John Milton’s dictum that, “in a free and open encounter,” truthful ideas will prevail. “After Auschwitz and Treblinka,” Bray writes, “anti-fascists committed themselves to fighting to the death the ability of organized Nazis to say anything.”

Part of Antifa’s mission is to establish, as Bray puts it, “the historical continuity between different eras of far-right violence and the many forms of collective self-defense that it has necessitated across the globe over the past century.” To this end, the first half of his book is a somewhat rushed history of anti-Fascist groups. The progenitors of Antifa, in this account, were the German and Italian leftists who, following the First World War, banded together to fight proto-Fascist gangs. In Italy, these leftists gathered under the banner of Arditi del Popolo (“the People’s Daring Ones”), while in Weimar Germany, groups like Antifaschistische Aktion, from which Antifa takes its name, evolved from paramilitary factions of existing political parties. Bray moves swiftly to the failure of anti-Fascists in the Spanish Civil War, then races through the second half of the twentieth century. In the late seventies, the punk and hardcore scenes became the primary sites of open conflict between leftists and neo-Nazis; that milieu prefigures much of the style and strategy now associated with the anti-Fascist movement. In the Netherlands and Germany, a group of leftist squatters known as Autonomen pioneered the Black Bloc approach: wearing all-black outfits and masks to help participants evade prosecution and retaliation. Bray reaches the present with his description of “Pinstripe Fascists,” such as Geert Wilders, and the rise of new far-right parties and groups in both Europe and America. The book flits between countries and across decades; analysis is sparse. The message is that Antifa will fight Fascists wherever they appear, and by any means necessary.

The book’s later chapters, such as “Five Historical Lessons for Anti-Fascists” and “‘So Much for the Tolerant Left!’: ‘No Platform’ and Free Speech,” which are adapted from essays published elsewhere, are more focused and persuasive. Here Bray explicitly deals with the philosophical and practical problems of Antifa: violence versus nonviolence; mass movements versus militancy; choosing targets and changing tactics. Bray concedes that the practice of disrupting Fascist rallies and events could be construed as a violation of the right to free speech and assembly—but he contends that such protections are meant to prevent the government from arresting citizens, not to prevent citizens from disrupting one another’s speech. Speech is already curtailed in the U.S. by laws related to “obscenity, incitement to violence, copyright infringement, press censorship during wartime,” and “restrictions for the incarcerated,” Bray points out. Why not add one more restriction—curtailing hate speech—as many European democracies do? As for the slippery-slopists, afraid that Antifa will begin with Fascists and eventually attack anybody who opposes them, Bray maintains that the historical record does not support this fear: anti-Fascists who have shut down local hate groups, as in Denmark, usually go dark themselves, or turn their attention to other political projects, rather than finding new enemies to fight. (In his Atlantic piece, Beinart notes, “When fascism withered after World War II, antifa did too.”)

Violence, Bray insists, is not the preferred method for past or present Antifa—but it is definitely on the table. He quotes a Baltimore-based activist who goes by the name Murray to explain the movement’s outlook:

You fight them by writing letters and making phone calls so you don’t have to fight them with fists. You fight them with fists so you don’t have to fight them with knives. You fight them with knives so you don’t have to fight them with guns. You fight them with guns so you don’t have to fight them with tanks.

.

[tajsamedaytour]

North Korean balloons

Propaganda balloons, or North Korean balloons, are helium-filled balloons released from South Korea into North Korea with the intention of delivering leaflets, brochures, USB drives, and other materials over the border. Since North Koreans are mostly isolated from the outside world because of the authoritarian regime's rigorous control over information, activists, defectors, or groups are usually the ones launching these balloons in an attempt to spread information to the country's citizens.

Objective and Content: The main goal of North Korean balloons is to provide the country's inhabitants with information that the leadership either censors or suppresses. News, pictures, and testimonies about life outside of North Korea are frequently distributed along with slogans supporting democracy, human rights, and freedom of speech via these balloons. Furthermore, digital assets like TV series, films, and educational resources that offer a window into different cultures may be found on USB devices.

Tensions and Controversy: The North Korean balloon launch has caused tensions and controversy with neighboring countries as well as with North and South Korea. The North Korean government frequently retaliates to these balloon launches with threats of military force or other punitive actions because it sees them as provocations and challenges to its power. North Korea has previously charged South Korea of breaking agreements and raising tensions by permitting such actions.

Impact and Effectiveness: There is disagreement over how well North Korean balloons work to sway public perception or behavior inside North Korea. Some contend that the information and motivation these balloons offer to North Koreans is invaluable, while others cast doubt on their effectiveness due to issues including restricted access to the materials, the possibility of punishment for possessing them, and the propaganda and censorship tactics used by the regime.

Legal and Diplomatic Repercussions: Both international law and diplomatic ties are affected by the North Korean balloon launch. In order to prevent tensions from rising or diplomatic efforts from being jeopardized, South Korea is under pressure from North Korea and has to consider the concerns of its allies and neighboring countries. The use of balloons for informational purposes raises additional ethical and legal issues, notably those pertaining to public safety and possible repercussions for cross-border interactions.

In summary, North Korean balloons are a useful and symbolic tool for opposing the regime's control over information and giving the country's citizens a vital channel of contact. Nonetheless, controversy, hostilities, and geopolitical concerns surround their introduction, underscoring the intricate forces at work on the Korean Peninsula and the continuous campaigns in North Korea to advance freedom, democracy, and human rights.

Please inquire if you need any additional details or if you have any other questions!

ALSO READ-

Explore the Golden Triangle of India with a 4-Day Tour Through Same-Day Tour Company Taj Take advantage of Taj Same Day Tour Company's alluring 4-day Golden Triangle Tour to set off on an enlightening adventure across India's Golden Triangle. This immersive tour takes guests on an amazing journey to discover the dynamic cities of Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur, as well as their rich cultural heritage and magnificent landmarks.

The Taj Same Day Tour Company: Why Choose It? Professional Handbooks: Take advantage of the knowledge and experience of seasoned tour guides who offer perceptive commentary and guarantee an engaging and unforgettable trip.

Comfortable Transportation: Enjoy a hassle-free and delightful journey between places by traveling in elegance and comfort in contemporary air-conditioned cars.

Tailored schedule: Take advantage of a customized schedule that covers the main points of the Golden Triangle, letting you spend as much time as you like exploring each location and learning about its distinct history and culture.

Golden Triangle Tour Highlights: Day 1: Delhi Exploration Historic Landmarks: Start your adventure in Delhi, the energetic capital of India, and discover its historical sites, such as the magnificent Red Fort, the well-known India Gate, and the striking Qutub Minar.

Cultural Immersion: Take in Delhi's rich history and culture by visiting its vibrant bazaars, historic temples, and busy marketplaces. Take in the vibrant ambiance of the city while shopping for gifts and sampling delectable street cuisine.

Day 2: Exploration of Agra Visit the Taj Mahal: One of the Seven Wonders of the World and a UNESCO World Heritage Site, the Taj Mahal is a sight to behold. Come to the charming city of Agra to experience its amazing splendor. Discover the fascinating history and architectural significance of this recognizable monument by exploring it.

Visit the magnificent Agra Fort, a UNESCO World Heritage Site and a representation of Mughal majesty and power, to continue your exploration of Agra. Discover its exquisite gardens, courtyards, and palaces. From the ramparts of the fort, take in sweeping vistas of the Taj Mahal.

Day 3: Exploration of Jaipur Explore the vivid culture and architectural marvels of Jaipur, popularly referred to as the "Pink City," on a sightseeing excursion. Marvel at the exquisite designs of the Hawa Mahal (Palace of Winds), visit the magnificent Amber Fort, and peruse the elaborate City Palace.

Cultural Experiences: Visit local marketplaces to get a taste of Jaipur's rich traditions and culture. Here, you may purchase beautiful fabrics, jewelry, and handicrafts. Savor genuine Rajasthani food and take in traditional folk performances for an unforgettable cultural experience.

Day 4: Go back to Delhi Final Wanderings: Take advantage of your last day to take in everything that Delhi has to offer by visiting some of your favorite spots or finding some new, undiscovered treasures.

Departure: Say goodbye to the Golden Triangle and head back to Delhi, where you can take stock of the amazing experiences and memories you had during your visit.

In summary The Golden Triangle Tour for Four Days By Taj Same Day Tour Company provides guests with an extensive and engaging tour of India's Golden Triangle, enabling them to learn about the fascinating histories, cultures, and architectural wonders of Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur. This tour promises an amazing journey full of discovery, investigation, and cultural immersion—perfect for history buffs, cultural explorers, or photographers.

With Taj Same Day Tour Company, reserve your Golden Triangle Tour now and start your once-in-a-lifetime adventure.

[newyorkprelawland-blog]

Free Speech Violated on Off-Campus: Tennessee High School Student Sues

By Tannu Punn, The State University of New York Cortland, Class of 2025

August 9, 2023

In the year 2022, a seventeen-year-old high school student posted three memes making fun of the principal's "overly serious demeanor." One of the images had the principal's face edited onto an anime cat wearing a dress surrounded by pink hearts. The principal's response was to suspend the student for five days; however, the student sues Tullahoma City School for violating his First Amendment free speech rights, to have his suspension expunged from his record, and to prohibit the school from promoting an "unconstitutionally vague" policy that punishes students from posting content that is "embarrassing" to the reputation of the school and its staff. [3]  The lawyer representing the student had a similar argument to the lawyer representing the student in Mahanoy School Dist. v. B.L. that our democracy is built on ideas and that public schools are interested in protecting unpopular expression. [4] Making fun of a teacher's teaching style does not cause any substantial disruption nor is it an invasion of others' rights. The off-campus speech did not cause a substantial disruption to the school and there were no complaints made by other students or staff. If the off-campus speech caused a substantial disruption, policing the speech would make sense; however, with no substantial disruption, off-campus speech is considered loco parentis.

Both schools had school policies that the administration claimed were violated by the students, which would justify their suspension. However, both school policies were deemed vague by the course. In Mahanoy, the administration claimed that the use of profanity was against school policies. In the current case, Tullahoma High School has a social media policy that reads: "Any student who records and/or disseminates in any manner an unauthorized or misrepresented photograph, video, or recording for the purpose of embarrassing, demeaning, or discrediting the reputation of any student or staff, or results in any action or activity disruptive to the educational process shall be subject to disciplinary action up to and including suspension.” The vague nature of Tullahoma's social media policy was unconstitutional, as there is no further explanation of what constitutes "embarrassing, demeaning, or discrediting."  In addition to the vague policy, the administration did not educate the student and their parents on what is considered "embarrassing" material prior to his suspension. [1]

 If the social media policy prohibits opinions, it is violating First Amendment rights. As written in the School's Handbook, the policy prohibits students from posting "embarrassing, demeaning, or discrediting" posts, even if the expression does not cause material disorder, substantial disruption, or the invasion of others' rights. However, the First Amendment bars the prohibition of speech that is embarrassing, demeaning, or discrediting" because "giving offense is a viewpoint." [2]

Typically, one would assume that speech could be regulated, if it concerns the school. However, the off-campus nature of the speech eliminates the special characteristics that schools can regulate: indecent/lewd/vulgar speech, speech uttering illegal drug use, or speech that can be interpreted to "bear the imprimatur of the school." [4] As a matter of fact, there are special characteristics that remain regardless of it being off-campus, which include threats to a student or a teacher. None of the posts made by the students were threats, but rather they were criticisms of the cheer community (Mahoney) and remarks about the principal's "overly serious" manner. As this is considered off-campus speech, it is usually in the hands of the parents and not the school, even if the posts are concerning the school.

Prior to the Mahanoy School Dist. case, there was the landmark decision Tinker v. Des Moines, which set the precedent that students do not shed their constitutional right to speech when they enter school grounds. Despite the protection of their free speech rights, schools are allowed to enforce the prohibition of speech that causes disruptions on campus. In this case, there was no substantial disruption to schoolwork or direct threats made to students/staff, so the courts sided with the seventeen-year-old student.     

______________________________________________________________   

[1] https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jul/24/tennessee-student-meme-lawsuit-free-speech

[2] https://www.thefire.org/research-learn/complaint-ip-v-tullahoma-city-schools

[3] https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/07/24/tennessee-meme-lawsuit-high-school/

[4] https://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/594/20-255/#tab-opinion-4442730

[nerdypatrollove]

The best translation service provider

What does translation mean? Translation is the process of converting speech or written words from one language into another without changing the main idea.

 The term translation service means someone who provides the service of changing the language of any speech or text without changing the meaning and with good quality. It helps business owners and influencers connect with audiences in other countries without knowing their language.

The best translation service provider

There are many translation service providers like CHL Localization, Lisan India, Anan Translations, etc. But I want to suggest to you the best translation service provider, Ennovatives. 

There are many reasons to try their services. They have 8k plus customers worldwide, 1200 language pairs, and 10k  plus professional translations. They delivered 25,00,000 plus page DTP. I am going to tell you the reasons for their services.

Why Ennovatives is the best translation service.

Yes, I have a valid answer to your valid question about why you chose Enovatives for translation services. And here are the reasons:

They provide the best and high-quality service to more than 8k customers.

Their system is automated to keep up with current trends and provide a quick and simple experience.

 They give you error-free translations of your content with an end-to-end translation service.

They can translate your content into more than 180 languages because of our native translators.

Ennovatives take on tasks and work in a variety of formats, including printed materials, websites, help files, multimedia presentations, software GUIs, and prepress files.

What service do they provide for translation?

Document Translation 

Technical Translation

Website Translation

Software Localization

They can also handle different types of translations, like 

Advertisements, Brochures, Business, Book Translations, Catalogues, Certificates, Communications, Education Materials, E-Learning Contents, Financial/Banking, Handbooks, Healthcare Documents, Law/Patents, Materials, Medical/Pharmaceutical, Mobile Applications, Research Documents, Scientific Technical Manuals, Website Contents

If want to know more about them, you can visit:-https://ennovatives.com/services/quality-translation-services/

[andrewkhurst]

MARTHA MORPHS INTO MR. MOTIVATOR.

Before Martha was born, my wife and I made a conscious decision to keep her free from phone and tablet screens for as long as we could, pledging to keep our offspring engaged with us rather than zoned out on Peppa Pig in her pram. I think pre-birth Martha had overheard our conversation, and staged an in utero sit in protest, eventually coming out sixteen days after her due date, only after I had spent fourteen of those days skim reading the FBI hostage negotiation handbook before I spoke directly to mummy's tummy using a bullhorn and assured pre-Martha that she would still be able to watch TV, a good while before she knew what a TV was. Unfortunately, Mr. Tumble and Iggle bloody Piggle were both still viewable on a TV screen, so we didn't get to skip them through toddlerhood. He was always so weird and otherworldly looking, with that funny shaped head and nonsensical speech. Iggle Piggle was a bit strange too.

Once Martha had cast off her selection of wooden rainbows and the like, we purchased a Kindle tablet for the long car journeys to Butlin's, and filled its meagre megabytes of memory with an assortment of animation in order to avoid the "are we THERRRRRRRRRRRE yet?" game. Apart from the Butlin's road trips, Martha just left the Kindle in a drawer and happily made fully functioning medical kits and prototype nuclear weapons from an assortment of cardboard, pipe cleaners, tissue paper and string. At age five, she suddenly began asking for her iPad. I explained the not so subtle differences between iPads and Kindles (i.e. one is expensive and pretty awesome, and the other is the Kindle), but this was lost on her. The generic name for a tablet in Martha's World is officially 'iPad'. It's her more technologically advanced equivalent of my 'Sellotape' or 'Hoover'. She uses the tablet to video call grandparents far too often, and to leave voice messages if the grandparents don't feel like partaking in their 57th video call of the day, as Martha fails to get ready for school at 7:43am. Along with video chats, she became briefly engrossed in Hello Kitty’s nail salon game, which was just like the real world, but without that nose tingling acetone stench. You could upgrade to get the acetone smell feature, but I didn’t think it was worth the extra £3.99 per month.

One day after school, Martha came home, threw her coat on the floor at the door, kicked her shoes into next week, and sat on the Persian rug. She crossed her legs in a perfect Lotus position, made circles by joining her thumbs to her forefingers on both hands and exhaled a ‘namaaaaaaasteeeeeeeehhhh’ so soothing that I had to check behind the sofa to make sure we hadn’t got lost on the way home and ended up in a Yoga studio. We hadn’t. All I found behind the sofa were a thousand germ-riddled street feathers. I asked where THIS had come from, and Martha told me that they did yoga at school. She grabbed the TV remote (as this was the only piece of technology that she had used since early on, she navigates round it like a pro), and she opened up YouTube. Within seconds, we were lost in a world of Backstreet Boys videos and 'classic AJ'. Several hours later, Martha introduced me to the world of Cosmic Kids Yoga channel. It features a woman named Jaime, who somehow piggybacks the popularity of Spiderman, Minions, Encanto, Star Wars and many, many more in order to magically trick hyperactive school kids into chilling the fuck out and working through an interactive story that she tells via the medium of a million yoga poses. She signs off with a ‘nnamaaaaaaateeeeeeehhhh’. Of course she does. Jaime and her Cosmic Kids have 1.6 MILLION subscribers. I’m guessing that 1.599 million of those are knackered schoolteachers who just want to have a break from wrestling sharpened spoons from tiny ruffians for up to 31 minutes. I was introduced to Cosmic Kids through Jaime’s loose ‘interpretation’ of the Disney megafranchise 'Frozen’. Jaime turned it into some kind of Frozen/Yoga hybrid, a Fro-Yo, if you will. Or a half hour state of Fro-Zen.

Last Sunday, mum was in the kitchen when she heard Martha talking. Assuming it was some kind of cross-generational video chat, she popped her head into the living room. Martha was watching a Cosmic Kids yoga workout video on her ‘iPad’. Only she WASN’T. Martha had propped her ‘iPad’ up and set it to record video in selfie mode. She then recorded a sixteen-minute video of herself as a breathy yoga instructor taking her audience through many moves, ranging from the classic entry-level ‘standing up’ to the trickier ‘balancing on one leg’. She offered encouragement to her audience throughout, and didn’t once feel the need to pretend to be a fast hedgehog or a boy who had been bitten by a radioactive bastard spider to hook in her viewers. MetaMartha was balancing on one leg in the middle of the Persian rug, paying careful attention to Martha Motivator on the screen. At one point in the class, Yoga Instructor Martha told Martha the actual real world child to balance on one leg, and then told her she was going to try to blow her over. On screen Martha blew at the camera, and real-World Martha wobbled and chuckled.

Yoga Instructor Martha is now a mere 1.599,998 subscribers behind Jaime and her Cosmic Kids. She has accrued two very proud subscribers, who are both absolutely petrified that the after school transformation of Martha into aggressive Victorian schoolteacher (you’ll hear about her soon) to dippy hippy yoga instructor is imminent. I have my excuse planned already: “Sorry love, I can’t have you shout at me to stand on one leg for sixteen minutes, I have to make the namasss –tea”.

[ebookvirza]

[Read Online] Revel for Public Speaking Handbook -- Access Card BY : Steven A. Beebe

E-Book Download Revel for Public Speaking Handbook -- Access Card by Steven A. Beebe

Ebook PDF Revel for Public Speaking Handbook -- Access Card | EBOOK ONLINE DOWNLOAD If you want to download free Ebook, you are in the right place to download Ebook. Ebook/PDF Revel for Public Speaking Handbook -- Access Card DOWNLOAD in English is available for free here, Click on the download LINK below to download Ebook After You 2020 PDF Download in English by Jojo Moyes (Author).

Download Link : [Downlload Now] Revel for Public Speaking Handbook -- Access Card

Read More : [Read Now] Revel for Public Speaking Handbook -- Access Card

Description

For courses in Public SpeakingAn audience-centered approach to public speaking in a student-friendly reference format Revel(TM) Public Speaking Handbook emphasizes the importance of analyzing and considering the audience at every point in the speech-making process. Using a student-friendly reference format that facilitates quick access to key information, authors Steven and Susan Beebe present a balance of theory and practice to guide students on how to enhance their public speaking skills. By focusing student attention on the dynamics of diverse audiences, ethics, and communication apprehension, Revel Public Speaking Handbook bridges the gap between the classroom and the real world. The 6th Edition has been updated to include contemporary examples, the latest research, and engaging new speeches.Revel is Pearson's newest way of delivering our respected content. Fully digital and highly engaging, Revel replaces the textbook and gives students everything they need for the course.