#GIVE THIS POST ATTENTION OR I WILL CRY

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

hey hey you you! describe your moots in one word!

aaaaaa i’ve been waiting for this one hehe <3

@reggies-eyeliner -> this is my jatp himbo ghost from the 90s side account lmao. yes, i follow myself. self love, y’all.

@smallsweetvanillabean -> BABE (that’s it. that’s the whole thing. i adore you.)

@missmorosis -> PLEASEOMLLET’SRIDEINTOTHESUNSETTOGETHER, I LOVE YOU TO THE EVERYWHERE AND BACK

@cathwritestragediesnotsins -> selfless, i rly do appreciate you for always looking out for everyone 🥺💖

@vaporizemebakugo -> hardworking (WE HAVEN’T TALKED IN SO LONG, HRU LOVELY??)

@hvnlydmn -> beautiful (in every?? single?? way??)

@kreampop1257 -> WIULIUFADAKLASJAKDALA (that’s it. that’s the word. when i think of you my day is POOF inSTANTLY BETTER)

@pillow4iida -> approachable (your vibes?? and you’re so sweet to everyone- like- i-?? i’d love to chat more, i think you’re super neat and talented and aaaa 🥺

@ajarfullofink -> PRECIOUS PRECIOUS PRECIOUS I ADORE YOU

@apotelesma-on-paper -> sexc (you got the voice you got the looks AND the aesthetic, everyone is QUAKING)

@hisokaslittlepogchamp -> chill, and i’m not just saying it bc you’re kinda just there, like NO, your vibes are MMMM IMMACULATE AND I THINK YOu’RE RLY AWESOME AAAAA

@levsjuicycaboosey -> consistent, we don’t chat much, but you’re definitely doing a lot on your blog aaaaa!! remember that issokay to take breaks <3

@kenmaki -> stunning, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU FOLLOWED ME BACK UNTIL NOW WTF THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY BC I ADORE YOUR BLOG AND I- AHHHH WLIUFHWIUHFIWUFH

@sunnnyshark -> sweet, the SWEETEST angel you will every meet i would like to hold you and give smol kith 🥺

@iridescent-queen -> amazing, just PURE amazingness and your blog theme is so pretty oml, ilyy

@flaminghottiddies -> AMAZINGTALENTEDSTUNNING, I ADORE YOU AND REMEMBER TO TAKE BREAKS AND THAT YOU’RE AMAZING, I THINK YOU’RE AMAZING SO YOU SHOULD TOO ILY

@cherry-cake-pies -> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, i ADORE you??? no like i actually ADORE YOU, you’re so fricken sweet and caring and talented and ifuhweliufvliweuhuwivhliuhvieu keep fighting!! ily ily

@starlightstoriez -> unique, NOT SAYING THIS IN A RUDE WAY, i adore your post that says “reminder that iida is hot” because YUM, 1. HE IS, and 2. THAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE BC THAT’S SOME AMAZING TASTE IN MEN

@m00nlightwrites -> approachable, LISTEN I THINK YOU’RE AMAZING. OKAY??? okay :DD <33333

@farfetchedparanoia -> precious. you are so precious. i have to protect you because you are SO SWEET AND CARING AND JUST HNNNNNGHHH REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

@angelecho -> chaotic, NEED I SAY MORE ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY LSUFHSIUFHLSUFLHISUHFLIUFH

@awimafailure -> strong, I THINK YOU’RE AMAZING. PLEASE BELIEVE THAT. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, SENDING HUGS AND KITH

@basket-flower-chick -> amazing, i think you’re really neat oml!! remember to hydrate and get rest lmao, YOUR THEME IS SO NICE THO-

@satis-kei -> queen, HEY BESTIE WASSUP ILY ILY OKAY?? YOU AND TSUKISHIMA, I THINK OF IT ON A DAILY BASIS, PLS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE VALID HAHA

@kozumegamecollection -> incredible. fricken incredible. YOU MAKE MY DAY. I THINK YOU’RE NEAT. ILY SO SO MUCH WITH EVERY FIBER IN MY BODY.

@levis-cup-of-tea -> hardworking, you work so hard on your matchups and that’s so admirable. you’re a blessing, please remember to take breaks, ily <3

@ceci-chan -> outstanding, hEY BESTIE WASSUPPP??? ILY AND I THINK YOU HAVE THE BEST VIBES

@aitarose -> sexc, queen that was meant for sugawara that i think i annoy a lot but WHO CARES YOU’RE COOL AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT

@kyoshoto -> talented, we don’t interact much, but your theme is really cool and your writing style for the oikawa post is actually pretty awesome omg!!

@trulyyumeko -> MARRYME,TECHINCALLY, WE’RE MARRIED. PLEASE TALK TO ME. ILY AND ADORE YOU REMEMBE RTO TAKE CAR EOF YOURSELF

@viridevi -> incredible. I just think you’re amazing, okay?? ALSO SLEEP GIRLIE, GETCHO SLEEP OML ILY

@ri-boo -> hardworking. YOU WORK SO HARD AND I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR THAT OML, PLEASE FOLLOW THEM AAAAAAA BEST FANFIC WRITER ON THE PLANET OML

[miutonium]

Asuka is grinding for her finals (And a notice regarding this blog)

Hi, you probably noticed this and I might have mentioned in the tags of my posts over the past few days but I'm posting it here so people won't missed out.

I won't be as active as I was for a while since my finals are coming up and it won't be until the mid of July that I'll be on my break. Right now I'm focusing all of my attention to my assignments and final project. This means I either post less or I don't reblog posts as much as I used to. I still will be here maybe gushing about my man or posting sketches that I sneaked during class but I won't be able to actively engage with people because I don't want to scroll my feed and ended up procrastinating instead of doing work so I'm sorry in advance if you don't see me interacting with you guys for this time being ;w; (I am still available to talk to via dm and ask box though but bear in mind my response won't be fast)

This also means I'll be putting my commission queue on hold as well. I don't want to do it right now knowing I won't be able to give 100% to it so I made the decision to pause it until I am absolutely sure I will be free from any work this semester.

Despite that, I might have to open my commission again. I finished all of my art commission and I only have 2 sketch commissions left for me to complete. I have to open it because I have to use it for my final projects and I have to spend money for the materials, printings and such (one of my final work is I have to do 5 manual moodboards based on an existing script) so I needed funds to do so, so expect to see my commission post later tonight or tomorrow morning.

Maybe some think I shouldn't make a post, its normal for people to go on hiatus or a break but I'm making this post becauae I don't want people to wonder where I'm going and also I want to be transparent about what I am currently doing right now.

Anyway, that's my update for this blog. I have a lot of plans to draw after I finish this semester so please stay tuned :3

Thank you for reading and I wish you guys well! 💕💕💕

- Asuka

[dumbdomb]

i want to get cute, romantic, lewd messages every day but i don't want to do anything to earn it. i should just get attention because people are obsessed with me for some reason and they're willing to spend their time trying to say things that will cheer me up or turn me on. i just deserve it for no special reason

20+ to rb and like

[lesbijkas]

transphobes trying to "haha gotcha" when I block them... you're not special. nothing I do or say will change your mind, and I'm not about to invest my time or effort in a pointless debate on the internet. remember, blocking people isn't something to be ashamed about. it isn't a "last defense" or "admitting defeat" or "proving someone right." it's part of curating an online experience that is 1) enjoyable and, more importantly, 2) safe for you. you don't owe anyone shit, especially not bigots making a fuss.

[jrueships]

dwayne the rock johnson eyebrow raise ?

[dupliciaa]

ryan o'neal sleeping at last really said "we are made of love and all the beauty stemming from it" and honestly yeah he's right and i'm soft

[wyattjohnston]

.

[mulchwave]

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[blujaydoodles]

the other day Justin asked how my characters would react to being proposed to, and honestly it really depends a lot on the person doing it, but the thought of Elyss not knowing how to emote like a normal person and lowkey stressing out a hypothetical future fiance was really funny to me

[redxriiot]

         Okay, but that bit in Full House when Michelle took the giftbox as her present instead of the actual gift itself is Baby!Kiri energy

[hechano]

Kiun’s past life

Since I got an ask about Kiun’s death last time, I went ahead and checked out chapter 66 again, where he was first being named by Takemikazuchi, and made some guesses about the actual time period he lived in (and possibly his occupation?). I’m guessing that this dumbass might have been a courtier or a samurai of a regional clan. I’m leaning towards him being a samurai so I gathered some mangacaps below: 

It was said that he got summoned in the era AFTER the Age of Gods, which would be close to the Heian period (794 to 1185), or the Kamakura period (1185 – 1333). Assuming that Noragami takes place in at least 2010 + Take’s “you’re 1200 years too late”- Kiun should have been by his side since the year 810 or a little earlier. That would mean he was from the mid to late Heian period. 

This makes sense considering he was wearing this:

This is called Hitatare. In early Heian period, the Hitatare originated as commoner’s garb but was sometimes worn by courtiers over their other clothes, like way Kiun was wearing it. Essentially the more layers you wore the wealthier or “higher classed” you were. The clothing was later adopted by the Taira clan and other Samurais towards the end of the period since more royal and samurai families adopted aristocratic practices.  I would assume that Kiun kept his attire from his previous life. I don’t know if spirits wear their clothings from when they were alive, since Yukine was wearing a plain white kimono (might have been because he was a Sudama), while the little girl that got hit by a car way back in season one was wearing her casual clothing. Why else would Adachitoka put so much detail into his clothes, appearance, and name, if he was just a commoner (and a minor character) like the rest of the other shinki? Even Daikoku was wearing a plain kimono walking around the streets.

Moving on to Kiun’s name: 

名は黃（きki）器は黃（おうou）

The common on’yomi for 黃 would usually be コウ/こう (Kou), but Takemikazuchi deliberately chose オウ/おう (Ou), which has the same pronunciation as 皇 (emperor). This was why Kiun said that it was such a regal name that he needed to bear without shame. A God literally just put him on par with the Emperors- who were considered descendants of Amaterasu, the most powerful God of all.  The name choice might have been because Takemikazuchi himself was considered a very well known Deity, so naturally he would want to give his shinki a... higher classed... name...?  But since Adachitoka is known for their foreshadowing in story writing, I don’t think they would just make a minor character stick out like a sore thumb. Sekiun and the other shinkis all have very average names,,, even Yato, the protagonist, was just like “lmao i found him in the snow.. Yukine!!!!11″  If Kiun was indeed a samurai or a courtier, it would kind of make sense that he was well known during his active period, maybe even to the point where Gods were aware of who he was. This might have been the reason why he was summoned to Takemikazuchi’s place instead of being street casted like every other shinki ever. Maybe he heard that the extremely loyal samurai recently died, and wanted him to become his shinki, hence “You better be on my side”. 

Moving on to his mannerisms: 

I also want to point out that while it’s not obvious in English translations- Kiun’s speech habits and mannerisms are extremely peculiar, especially since we’re in a modern setting right now. Just look back on his first appearance in his human form in chapter 57: Yato was sitting by the window with a crossed leg, while Kiun sat on the floor, upright in seiza style and asked him to pledge his loyalty towards Heaven. He was serious, well mannered, and formal. Samurais take pride in their own identity, and I think it makes sense if that were the reason why he has not changed much over the years regarding speech and mannerism. 

He is far more formal than the rest of the elders- retaining his image from his previous life even more so than his own lord who decided to change along with the times. He must have had certain attributes to those of a guide that even Sekiun stepped down and chose him to become the guidepost (but it was mostly to forbid Takemikazuchi from using thunder). He essentially took on the role of a caretaker and raised a God from scratch... in an extremely formal and professional perspective. When you compare him to other guideposts like Iwami and Kunimi who acts more like butlers to Ebisu (but are extremely fatherly), Kiun kept his distance with Takemikazuchi. Just look at the difference: 

Two reincarnated gods, raised in two extreme opposite ways. Part of the reason Takemikazuchi became so turbulent even as an adult was because Kiun never acted as a parent or guardian. It’s not only because Take emotionally disconnected himself with others, it’s also because Kiun did the exact same thing by being too invested in the role of a ‘Guide’.  He believed himself to be a server- which I think points strongly at him as a character overall just being used to serving other people, not just because he’s the guidepost. 

If you’ve ever heard of the Bushido codes (which were used for Samurais), Kiun fits all of them perfectly:

Also, taking into account of his low confidence and self deprecating attitude, he might have been a warrior who was not particularly the strongest or the most memorable, but was the most well known for their extreme loyalty and hard work (Kind of like Bedivere with King Arthur?), and managed to make quite a name for himself. It would serve well with his characterisation even as a shinki.  One scene that stuck out to me was during the Covenant, when Takemikazuchi was hesitating whether or not to participate in the wager to save Yato- and this was what Kiun said to him:

Loyal to a default, he literally would throw himself under the bus in order to do the right thing- even if he has nothing to do with it. What he believes is the right thing is whatever his lord believes in- if Takemikazuchi believed in Yato, then Kiun also believed in Yato. I do believe that this is a trait he kept from his previous life, which would really make him resemble an Imperial soldier. 

And despite being painted as a dumb blonde, Kiun was also super strict. 

We can see that he knew how to play the Kemari- a game which was exclusive to ONLY noblemen and samurais during the Heian period:

He also taught Takemikazuchi how to ride horses, read and write, how to use bow and arrows- and I’m assuming that he taught him how to use the sword as well. These were everything that the military had been improving on ever since the Shoen holders had access to manpower- so basically, the provincial upper class transformed themselves into a new military elite of samurai, and these activities became common and necessary practices. As a dead spirit, you have no obligations to perform these duties- unless it was an instilled mindset of what a proper education would be like in Kiun’s mind. We have not witnessed any other Gods in Noragami being taught these things by a Guidepost either.  Kiun raised Takemikazuchi like you would a nobleman, which makes me believe that he might have been a well paid warrior/shogun that was part of a regional clan, and might have served someone. It’s known that shinkis retain habits and mannerisms from their past lives- and it affects the way their weapons are made. Kiun being a literal thunder dragon, a mythical creature that does not canonically exist in Noragami, means extreme compatibility with the thunder god Takemikazuchi, who he serves and considers a hero from the Age of Gods. He was so honoured to be “bestowed” with a name too- which I think are strong attributes to a loyal samurai molding themselves and pledging complete loyalty to their lords. 

It’s quite possible that he served Emperor Kanmu (active 781-806) when he was expanding his rule in Northern Honshu- and died when he was sent to fight against the Emishi who at the time were resisting governance in a 38 year long war which didn’t officially end until year 811. If he served the Imperial army, there’s a chance he might have died between year 789 and 811, when Aterui, an Emishi general, led attacks on the Imperial army. It went back and forth until Aterui eventually surrendering. This fits with the timeline of Noragami and his statement about being summoned after the Age of Myths. Takemikazuchi is most likely his first and only master, which again, serves pretty well with the sentiments of a Samurai.  It was an extremely violent era of Japan, and many suffered from poverty and lack of protection despite advanced military technology. Whether he was a courtier or a samurai warrior, I think Kiun had connections with the Imperial family and the military- though looking back on the caps, I think it’s more likely that he was a well educated samurai. 

[yamikawas]

i rlly wish i could participate in s/elfship events and stuff but im not abt to demand attention and interaction on my normal s/elfship blog without doing anything for anyone else. which is an issue bc im usually too shy to send anyone stuff if they dont come to me first abt it. so we've kinda come full circle o_o

[rjwrites22]

So I'm basically being forced to play DND with my younger siblings over the summer. Thank god for part of my sanity, my little brother is the DM this time, not me. I wonder if my mother realizes that the fastest and most effective way to turn someone off something, even something they really enjoy, is to fucking force them to do it?!

First session is today and I'm already dreading it, partly because it's at one pm and I'm rarely up before like 3. Partly because I only found out about the thing yesterday evening and I wanted the kid to record a few goddamn details of his campaign before starting even though Mother argued that he can't because his handwriting is awful. (In her defense, it is, but that's completely beside the point.) Gonna have to do a disorganized campaign with a 10-year-old for a DM, and I can't fucking say anything because I don't want to DM myself. Maybe it'll be fun?

Also I'm already in a bad mood because for some damn reason I got to thinking about band and reminded myself that nobody in my section's groupchat said happy birthday to me last week which made me VERY sad but I can't fucking tell them because I just can't, that's not something I do. I'm terrified I'd come across as either passive aggressive or just looking for attention, especially seeing as my birthday was on Sunday and it's fucking Friday now. And it's summer so there's no reason for them to think about it in the first place, plus only like three of them are friends with me on Facebook, etc etc I'm an idiot.

There's also some other things upsetting me right now, I'm just not in the best mood overall and it's not anything I could ever talk to anyone but myself about. Especially because the biggest thing is fucking ridiculous for me to be upset over.

[boykisserbuckley]

fine Theo is bugging me even tho he should be sleeping so. who wants to read an og story i wrote 

[ex-furry]

i'm sorry i left with no warning, i logged out and didn't check tumblr for a while. i'm sorry for worrying some of you. it's making me feel so ill. i'm sorry. and i’m sorry if you messaged me and i haven’t responded because i never got it, again i’m not just ignoring you

it took me some time to actually post this because it really did send me into another panic attack for some reason, i don’t know why i’m so anxious about it

putting this under a read more for everybody's sake because it’s long but i'm okay. i'm just talking about what i've been doing and feeling

i was very close to attempting last friday. i wrote a note. i was in the bathroom probably around 1am. i sat in there for a while. i didn't do anything though

i hardly moved saturday. just regretted not going through with it. so fucking mad at myself because i can’t follow through with anything. i'm so stupid. i still don't know why i didn't

i had a huge panic attack on sunday. i got so overwhelmed all over again while i was trying to fucking study

it hit me hard again on monday. i sat in the bathroom and cried. i almost went through with it again. self-harmed a lot. pretty badly. tuesday was all finals work. basically slept through wednesday. self-harmed again yesterday. cried some more today and had another panic attack. haven’t eaten in a couple days

i'm really sorry if i scared anyone, i just needed to log out and not touch tumblr for a bit and then i didn't really have time to anyway and then i forgot. i didn't think about it but i should've at least given you all some warning. i had no right to do that

i logged out because i needed a break, but i also didn’t want to bother anyone. i’ve been avoiding talking to anyone i like because i know once i annoy them too much it’s over. i can’t handle that

it was just this one thing that made me spiral harder than i ever have in a single night before. the thought of everyone hating me. of one of the few people i have daily contact with besides my parents finally getting tired of me. because i can feel it slipping. i don't know. it sounds so pathetic every time i say it and i don't want it to feel like a guilt trip or anything, i’m sorry if it does

i don't know. i’m so afraid of losing the few connections i have just because i'm too much or too annoying or whatever. god i can't fucking say any of this without feeling so pathetic and embarrassing or like i should apologize every other sentence

chronic loneliness is so terrifying. i'm so scared that i'm actually going to live out this weird prophecy in which i am meant to exist by myself forever. i can’t think of something any lamer than that but that's what goes through my brain every goddamn day. i was meant to be alone because there's something wrong with me and i cannot figure out what it is

it's hard. it's hard when you've never felt like you fit in anywhere. like there is no group for you because there's something in you that repels people. it's hard not knowing what that is

and i’ve been thinking about this. i don’t understand how anyone could like me because i have nothing to offer. there’s nothing to like about me. i don’t know what i expect

i'm scared that my next semester is going to be as lonely and difficult as this one was. i know it probably will be because that's how my entire life has been but it still hurts so much. it’s been hell since august because transferring made me realize that i am like. meant to exist like this. there is no way that i will ever be able to form connections in person. that’s not for me

i don't feel like i deserve to not be lonely regardless. i always feel so evil and disgusting saying stuff like this because i don't want people worrying or feeling like they're obligated to interact with me

i still feel so awful. there’s no reason i should still be here. i don’t know. it’s hard to explain. i just want to cover myself up and disintegrate

everything is so hazy. this is all over the place. it's hard to explain this, i'm sorry if it doesn't make sense or if it sounds stupid

i'm always grateful for people who reach out even if it doesn't seem like it. human connection is the one thing i have keeping me here, even if i don't get very much of it. i love you all and i really cannot thank you enough for thinking of me and messaging me. i'm sorry i scared you. again, i really should have said something before logging out and leaving you hanging. i feel so awful about it

and i know it can be difficult to be around me because i’m such… a miserable person? none of you have known me this long, but i’ve been suicidal for eight years now, and i know that isn’t easy to deal with from the perspective of someone who knows me. especially because, on here, i am so vocal about it because i cannot get myself to say these things out loud

this is so fucking pathetic and embarrassing, going back and reading it, i’m sorry

[lovebugcody]

~