#GOD WHEREVER YOU ARE PLS BLESS ME TO WRITE THIS

[mrsoharaa]

me currently thinking about a steamy, intense cnc 3 way with Miguel and his Villain counterpart/variant.....

[jayflrt]

(splitting my asks into different parts cuz it got longer than I thought) okay today’s update ! god bless your messed up sleeping schedule (not really pls fix it 🙏) i woke up to your update. I would call it a very good morning,i really had something exciting to start my day !! Before anything. if i was yn i would hop on to Jay (it already happened but well again too) during the scene he made power source like that was so attractive. I would be on one knee asking him for my hand marriage. oh I LOVE MY MEN SMART (i want Jay). “I can’t kiss you but i can kiss your cheeks” AHHHHHHHHHHHHH A GENTLE MAN (in the context of him being hired to investigate her and her family). the small things omg ! SMALL THINGS as in yn helping Jay spill secret, Jay reassuring yn with pats on the back or just rubbing her back. AHHH THE SMALL THINGS BUT OH GOD. 😓 me when ????? OH I LOVE THEM I DONT WANT TO SEE THEM HATING EACH ITHER (even if it’s one side) The betrayal will make us cry sigh.

Jake you would love this i hope you’re adding this to yo ur fanfic ! honestly can we (i) get an update on Jake’s fanfic next update just wanna how far they are ? As in are jayn strangers ? or just started talking ? or they are friends ? can we talk about heeseung and jay ahhh my brothers in love ! look them cuddling and sharing sleeping space. wish that was you huh yn 🤣🤣🤣🤣☝️☝️☝️ I know you were wishing you were heeseung huh 😘. you wished big strong man (Jay) was cuddling with you to give you warmth in that cold night 🤣 Okay when you showed us the little snippet i knew it was chaewon who outted them. let me explain, so the hidden part was like three letters considering the space then I thought of people names we can short enough to be three letter, while thinking that I was like isn’t yn’s roommate chaewon. However I wasn’t expecting to be correct cuz I thought they had no bad blood lmao. now sunoo and rest of yn’s friends probably know it’s true….. I EXPECTED CHAEWON TO BE IDK NICE ? BUT WTF ?????

theory anon (i almost wrote 😓 yn ??????)

HELP MEEE the way the only reason i posted chapter 40 at 8 pm was because i finished it at 4 am the previous night and couldn't find the strength to format it 🧎‍♀️ but omg i've been sleeping so good recently it's about time for me to fuck up my sleep schedule again!!! 😋 (joke....Kind of) but i'm glad it was a good morning for you :'') and no seriously i would've made USE of those handcuffs but gotta respect them keeping it pg-13 🙏 jay is so green flag if we ignore all the parts about him withholding that he's actually getting close to her because he's been paid to ahaha 😁 and omgg i lovee writing the little bits of affection here and there it's just so wholesome 💗

LMFAOAO jake will update the fanfic eventually and he will definitely be like 30 chapters behind wherever jay/n are Actually at 😩 and mc is fr kicking and punching the air over heeseung getting more action with jay in that chapter than she did </3 but her time will come SOON!!! i too want Big Strong Man Jay to cuddle me in a sleeping bag <//3 HAHAH omg you manifested it 🙏 i used "her" instead of an actual name to make it less easy to figure out but it was fun seeing who people were guessing it would be LOL but thankfully it didnt seem to be a problem! For now 🫣 ALSO NOT YN ANON LMFAOO 😭

[2-cute-4-school]

NCT Dream reaction : another member scares you

Tw : near drowning scare, lots of bugs??

Mark Lee

donghyuck loves teasing mark

you’re mark’s s/o

results : donghyuck loves bullying you

congrats you get a free pass to cry with me cuz donghyuck is ruthless

but you learnt to live with it so it’s okay most of the time

until his friendly teasing involved a quite deep pool and your unprepared form being swung violently into it

so when you submerged underwater and didn’t come back up, mark forgot everything else and dove head first into the pool

his spiderman senses kicked in thank god

donghyuck saw his life flash before his eyes ⊙△⊙

when mark dragged you to the surface and hoisted you out of the water with donghyuck’s help, you took your sweet time before coughing violently

you gotta suck the life out of that dramatic effect ya know

mark coddled you the entire day, embracing your trembling form and keeping hyuck away despite his attempts to apologize to you :<

this man would spend an entire lifetime just taking care of you and smothering you with no complaints i swear cause you became like the centre of the universe for him ಥ_ಥ

writing music? thinks of you ; eating watermelon? y/n would like it ; showering? we could have some fun

but once he tucked you safely into bed and made sure you comfortably fell asleep after a scare that shortened both your lives by 10 years

WWIII commenced （ノ♯｀△´）ノ~’┻━┻

markhyuck summer fight pt.2

Huang Renjun

there’s ONE(1) thing you and renjun totally agree on

scary movies can suck your di- └( ͡° ︿ °͡ )┘

but the other devil spawns ( read dreamies ) decided you deserve suffering their enjoyment blame them

so you’re settled on the couch between china line with renjun trying to keep his macho man facade give up jun we know you’re babie (♥ω♥*)

but still feeling you tremble like a leaf beside him melted his lil heart :((((

so he kept a hand on your knee the entire time, rubbing random patterns on your leg in an attempt to soothe your nerves

the atmosphere became so tense, any hint of conversation dying once everyone was immersed in the movies, an eerie silence enveloping you

but when dear angel chenle decided to shriek in your ears and dig his fingers in you sides let me tell you gals

you jumped out of your skin

and spoiler alert : didn’t land back on the couch

cue dolphin noises

but when you looked up at renjun, a deep pout settled on your lips and glassy puppy eyes ( つ᷄.̯σ̣̥᷅ ) he saw red before his eyes

“YAH ZHONG CHENLE YOU WANTED SCARY MOVIES?!? I’LL GIVE YOU A SCARE ENOUGH FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, YOU RASCAL !!!1!1!!”

no one dares to scare/hurt his baby and escapes unharmed no exceptions sorry

after he taught chenle the lesson of his life, it’s cuddle time!!! (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶”

he spoons you protectively and smothers you in a TON of kithes until he’s content with hearing your giggles  :>

Lee Jeno

you made it your personal mission to find a way to eradicate all bugs

no cap

and jeno just nodded along to your endless rambling about your strong dislike towards them

let’s be honest here, he was internally gushing at your cuteness like your biggest supporter (　◠ ◡ ◠　)

so when renjun dangerously nears you without a common garden bug  he found during your picnic with the dreamies in between his fingers and sticks it in your face with the hugest shit eating grin (ര̀ᴗര́)و ̑̑

you let out the loudest screech and scramble to throw yourself in jeno’s arm who acted like your comfort blanket by now i’m so soft for jeno can you tell????

and he just 「(°ヘ°)

‘my baby?? scared?? the nerve of some people?? gotta!!!show!!them!!no one!!!NO ONE!!!messes with my baby!!!’ (｀Д´)

so he just pats you head lovingly and rubs your back until you calm down enough to let go of him

and then he leaves the cutest *smooch* on your forehead and gets up

he walks calmly towards renjun who was pretending to occupy himself with smoothing down a blanket and just...cracks his knuckles kaneki style

jeno just grabs the biggest bug he was able to find and grips the hem of renjun’s sweats harshly

wanna know what this gangsta beach does?? he frickin throws the bug down poor renjun’s pants

and then just leaves his unfortunate victim thrashing and shrieking for his life and retreats back in your arms like the terrifying baby he is

don’t mistake his softness for you as weakness!!1! he becomes ruthless when it comes to you :<

Lee Donghyuck

he’s already ruthless enough

so please PLEASE for the love of God don’t give him a reason to become even more of a devil spawn

but poor jisung didn’t get the gist bless his pure soul 🐣

you weren’t even that scared when you opened your phone to an remarkably ugly image of a cockroach (basically the same prank that was done to fetus jisung some time ago)

but you still let out a shriek loud enough to alert haechan

and while haechan seemed silent while he smothered you, his mind was going highwire which is NEVER good  (￣ェ￣;)

*time skip to the next day*

3 times

3 TIMES DID JISUNG SEE HIS LIFE FLASH BEFORE HIS EYES IN A SINGLE DAMNED DAY and he’s never been the same since

so when he barges in the living room where sweet innocent hyuck is seated on the couch with you cradled in his lap while feeding both you and himself and watching netflix 

jisung has a fit it was damn time baby chick

“you put cockroaches in the shower, in my cup AND on my pillow, do you want me to die young??!!?”

“they’re fake tho”

“I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WHEN I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK”       ⊙﹏☉

eventually jisung retreated to put some shoes on and leave the dorm for a breath of fresh air after the near-death experience he encountered

“i feel bad for him” you took pity on the kid alright

“don’t worry your pretty head”

and he just kithes the heck out of you and automatically deleted all your worries once immersed in his sweet lips who could resist him tho

until another scream echoes

“IN MY SHOES TOO?!? YOU KNOW WHAT, I MIGHT JUST MOVE OUT”

Na Jaemin

we all know jaemin enjoys photography

and you’d be a fool to believe his camera roll is not ABSOLUTELY FULL of pictures of you both candid and not

he always insisted he takes photos of things he loves or are beautiful and you’re both and even more ✿♥‿♥✿

that’s how some of your hangouts turn into mini photoshoots whenever jaemin was in the mood

and that’s how you found yourself modeling for jaemin while the other dreamies were lunging around

“i’m frying over here, can you hurry up?”

“not my fault my baby is the prettiest unlike you gremlins, hyuck”

“what’d you say?!!?!?!!” lowkey ready to swing

jaemin doesn’t spare him a second glance, he can only focus on you :>

“hey honey can you climb on that ledge for me?”

he helps you like the gentleman he is to climb the stone ledge, one hand clutching yours and the other gripping your waist softly (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

so you’re posing, focusing on the camera when you feel a hand tightly clasp over your ankle

and jeez do you scream so loud hyuck was left fried, insulted and deaf

and you can’t even step away from the ledge before jaemin envelops you in his arms and clutches you tightly to his chest

“aigoo aigoo~ my baby it’s okay, nana is here”  in the softest voice possible (๑´ω`๑)

he smooths down your hair, petting it affectionately and as he leans down to smooch your forehead he meets eyes with a sheepish jeno who peeks over from behind the ledge

and jaemin just stares him down with that disappointed mom look 

and jeno just knows he won’t be getting any dinner tonight

but jaemin’s head is full of you you you did i mention you? so he can only coo at you and smother your entire face in little kithes :<

“you’re the absolute cutest and all mine, my cute baby” *bursting uwus* *fake gagging noises in the background from hyuck*

“so candidate no. 2 without dinner tonight huh?” hyuck: “wait no pls”

Zhong Chenle

power napping is your favorite kind of date with chenle

just curling up against each other wherever you two could fit and spooning or just cuddling or even just holding hands if the weather was too hot

okay but just imagine chenle holding someone’s hand while he sleeps i’m ded just imagining it x.x

so it’s already understood that you’re a sleep lover who isn’t tho

and while you fell asleep, chenle still had to wash the dishes after a meal with the dreamies

jaemin being the affectionate person he is cooed over your cuteness and couldn’t help himself from throwing himself beside you on the bed and jumping on it while screaming your name (basically the same thing he did to chenle :)))) )

but unfortunately you were a quite light sleeper and easily startled when woken up suddenly and not so gently  ( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )

so you let out a chocked noise that immediately alerted chenle who returned to see you staring at jaemin like a deer caught in headlights 

“ah hyung why would you do that? you scared them like that”

chenle whined as he pushed jaemin away who retreated with slumped shoulders and a pout don’t worry jaems we love you

and chenle just slips under the blanket and brings you closer to lay down together and soothes you ༶ඬ༝ඬ༶

and he just embraces you, tangling your legs together and hiding your face in the crook of his neck while he runs his fingers through your hair comfortingly chenle would make the best cuddle buddy no take-backs

“shh it’s alright, just go back to sleep, i’ll stay with you” (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

with chenle’s assurance and tight grip on your body to bring you as close as humanly possible, you fall back asleep as chenle stares fondly at you

and that’s how chenle escaped washing dishes *ha suck it losers*

Park Jisung

jisung blames mark

mark is his oldest hyung and the supposedly most responsible debatable among them

so how could his leader scare you to tears and then dump your shaking figure for him, the baby, to take care of (ノ-_-)ノ ~┻━┻

jisung could only stare at you as he hovered above your curled up form

“y-y/n, come on, there’s nothing to cry about, hyung didn’t mean it”

*mark facepalms* *sm building facepalms* *the white house facepalms*

mark just motions aggressively to jisung to rub your back 

and jisung pales as if mark suggested going to a haunted house *sigh* jisung you absolute clueless baby

he SUPER HESITATINGLY pats your back awkwardly, but you only curl up into yourself even more

mark pushes jisung to sit down beside you and prompts him to comfort you properly and jisung gulps

“sooo, how are you feeling?”

*well done jisung take a guess you sharp tool* (－‸ლ)

mark is just boiling with worry you might just dump jisung after his worryingly poor attempt when your small voice cuts through

“can you please hug me, sung?” (●´^｀●)

jisung.exe has shut down please retry in a moment

“s-sure, yeah, just-”

but you just slot yourself in his lap and bury your face in his shoulder 

jisung.exe is overwhelmed by your cuteness pls spare him

but he eventually wraps his arms around you too and just rubs up and down, occasionally massaging the nape of your neck gently

“this is actually nice, can we stay like this please?” (⺣◡⺣)♡*

you just tighten your grip on him in response

and jisung rests his head on top of your head to hide his reddening face away but also to hold you even closer because despite his shy demeanor he cherishes you so so much so please have patience with this baby

mark just shakes his head from the doorway with a fond smile knowing that you’re just right for each other (︶ω︶)

[duskholland]

Oh my god stop itttt you're so sweet 🥺 but also you are a queeeen tooooo!! Like your mob! And boxer! Fics are too good. And yeah i think about drummer!tom a lot too 😔🙏 i just wish i had more ideas to write for him. Rn im working on my new obession which is stoner!tom 👌 haha. And honestly, i dont know how i create the worlds around it. I think its my chaotic style of writing combined with fear of plotholes so i add in useless info wherever i can :)

+Also, i love the idea of Tom on Bake Off. Maybe the celeb one cause i dont see him making like proper things bless him. Another thing that has been on my mind for literal years is Tom on strictly come dancing 💫💫 either as a celeb or pro lol. Theatre!actor!au??? Someone once suggested me biker!tom .... oooh journalist!tom (extra points if its early 20th century so he gets that classy suspenders look ya know) general expansion of drummer!tom to a garage band!au I could go on for ages ngl

--

omg thank you :’)) drummer!tom is iconic and i think i’ve reread that fic about 4 times at this point haha. stoner!tom sounds interesting! im excited to read him whenever he’s done! you literally never miss. tom on celeb bakeoff is the only thing i need in life lmao, can you imagine how beautiful it’d be?!?! and YES !!! dancer!tom dancer!tom !!! i love dancer!tom :’))) can you imagine competitive!strictly!tom...he’d be like anton du beck, so charming with the older ladies.... i love it :’)))))) but grrr.......pls write more drummer tom....esp in a band au.........i need this in my life

[pocket-full-of-wonder]

oh ! same anon but i was wondering if you could do number 5 for the drabbles ! preferably w kags asking for help if its not too much trouble 🥺

oh heck yea!!!! most of the qp kagehina series so far has been kags lookin after hina which is BLESSED but i have been meaning to showcase more of the vice versa so thank you v much!!!! ~~

((ngl i had such a hard time deciding exactly wHAT scenario i wanted to go with and bounced through a good 5-6 of them before finally settling on this one and it’s made me want to write a small collection of ficlets centered around the two of them learning to be vulnerable around each other and ask for help more openly jkjlkjlSDF))

((#5: First time asking for help))

Now Available on AO3

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They’ve been living together for two months. In the grand scheme of things, that isn’t a very long time, and they don’t plan to stop at two months, either. Or even two years, granted their impending futures don’t pull them apart–and if it does, and they’ve talked about the fact that it most likely, inevitably will, there’s nothing to keep their futures from aligning again. 

For now, though, it’s been only two months. Long enough for them to settle into a routine, long enough to memorize each other’s good/bad habits and pick up the slack wherever needed. It’s a nice system they have in place of taking care of things around the apartment, who prepares/purchases their meals, who waters the house plants, this that and the other. It’s a system that works and a system they love. Tobio certainly wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

Except, he wakes up one Friday morning feeling like someone’d taken a sledgehammer to his head and mint to his sinuses, and there’s barely enough coherency in his befuddled mind to think oh, no. 

Two months, perhaps, isn’t nearly long enough a time to experience everything that comes with a) being in a partnership but also b) seeing each other sick in said partnership.

Tobio doesn’t get sick often, he never has, but he knows from the moment he wakes up that accursed morning that he’s going to go down hard. That’s always how it’s been; he doesn’t get sick, but when he does get sick, he gets really, really sick. Sick enough that his panicked father has driven him down to the ER at ungodly hours.

But now he’s eighteen, and living with Shouyou, and he has a routine and a job and a crash course of general college ed and a boss and bills and of course a partner, god, Shouyou–

He isn’t going to know, he resolves to himself, barely ten minutes after waking up. Usually the first day isn’t that bad. I’ll power through today and spend tomorrow in bed, I’ll sleep it off.

And power through, he does. Maybe he doesn’t do it well or completely subtly, but he does. He keeps every conversation with Shouyou brief and makes excuses about leaving early when he really doesn’t have to. Shouyou questions the integrity of his words (and his footing, too, actually–Tobio would kick himself for being so obvious if he weren’t already staggering into walls) but can’t discern the problem well enough to call him out on anything. 

So Tobio goes to work that afternoon at a job he hasn’t had long enough to hate or love. He’s only a dishwasher, luckily, and the restaurant’s only open for lunch so he doesn’t even have that long of a shift. He plows through, makes it through. It’s his night to get dinner so he takes care of that, too, bringing home ramen from their favorite hole in the wall joint. Shouyou won’t stop glancing up at him throughout dinner, but doesn’t question him. He does, however, offer to do Tobio’s part of the dishes. 

Which. 

Tobio would say he could power through that, too, but his head is pounding and he’s kind of scared if he moves too much more tonight he’ll throw up and he really, really doesn’t want that. All he has to do is pretend to be okay for just a little bit longer and then tomorrow he can sleep this whole mess away.

“Are you okay?” Shouyou asks later that night. His hands are covered in soap suds and he’s splashed some dishwater on the front of his shirt, sponge in left hand and bowl in right. “You haven’t been acting like yourself today.” 

“I’m fine,” Tobio says (lies, lies, why does he feel like he has to lie to Shouyou of all people?), but doesn’t let go of the counter’s edge. He doesn’t loosen his grip on it, either. He’s not sure he can. “Are you sure you’ve got the dishes? I don’t mind drying them.” 

“Nah, it’s cool,” Shouyou says, shrugging. “I’ve got an audiobook I was planning to listen to, so it’s fine. You kinda look dead on your feet, I think you should go to bed.” 

It sounds like the best idea Shouyou has had in a very long time, but Tobio of course doesn’t say that. He nods, swallows down his nausea and barely remembers to say, “Goodnight, Shouyou,” before he’s turned and stumbled down the hall toward the bedroom. Shouyou returns the sentiment, but Tobio barely hears it over the ringing in his ears. When had that started? Fantastic. 

He faceplants his side of the bed (which is something mutually decided between them, that they never really talked about or discussed, it just sort of… happened) and breathes in a long, deep breath, relishing the ease on his feet and eyes and skull and god, please stop pounding, please stop pounding, please stop.

He clenches his teeth and digs his fingernails into the sheets. His eyes are burning, and he doesn’t know why, and it’s all he can do to turn his face into the pillow and croak, “Sh-Shit,” when he knows Shouyou isn’t around to hear it. 

In the back of his mind, he’s still resolved to never let Shouyou know about this. He’ll just sleep it off, he’ll be fine, he’s fine, this is fine, Shouyou doesn’t have to know. Tobio isn’t going to disrupt this routine, he isn’t going to ruin the first time in his whole life he’s felt 100% accepted and loved. He isn’t going to ruin it. He ruined it once, with old teammates in a worse time, and he isn’t going to ruin it again. 

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Tobio wakes up in the middle of the night and feels like he’s dying. All those times he was sick before, all those times he was hospitalized as a child because his body couldn’t fight off the fever on its own, or because he was dehydrated–nothing compares to this, nothing could. 

His eyes burn with tears before he’s coherent enough to know why. His head is–

Shit. 

Shit, shit, shit, his head–

It overwhelms his thought process, every coherency he thought he had, and it goes ahead and takes over all the coherency he’d been grasping for. It hurts, it pulsates like there are fireworks going off inside of it, ping-ponging against the insides and outsides of his skull, then catching in orbit and spiraling round and round and round androundandroundandround–

He’s not even sitting up why is he spinning– 

He’s pulling his hair, grinding his teeth hard enough to worsen the pounding, squeezing his eyes shut against the impending tears he doesn’t think he has the energy to stop, and no amount of digging his nails into his skull makes it any more bearable, it doesn’t dissipate at all, nothing helps– 

He can feel Shouyou’s warmth beside him, somehow, in the back of his mind and nearly overwhelmed by everything else. Shouyou is sleeping soundly on his own half of the bed, vibrant hair almost too bright to look at in the dark space. Tobio wants to squeeze his eyes shut again but there’s something comforting about Shouyou’s presence in the darkness. Even if he is sleeping. 

Don’t ruin this. Don’t ruin this. Don’t ruin this. 

His head burns. It courses through him like poison, hitting every soft spot and hard spot alike. There’s acid in his throat brought up by the pound in his skull and his stomach is in knots. His chest hurts. He feels like he does after playing a match for too long and trying too hard. Only worse.

Don’t ruin this don’t ruin this don’t ruin this don’t ruin this

He can’t. 

It hurts and it burns and he can’t. 

Don’truinthisdon’truinthisdon’truinthis–

“Sh-Shou–” He chokes that much out before he hauls back, clenching his teeth, yanking his hair, digging his fingernails into his scalp. He hopes he hasn’t drawn blood, but he can’t tell and barely cares. “Sh-Shouyou, please–” 

This time he manages to detangle one hand and reach out, giving Shouyou a poke on the shoulder. Shouyou is the lighter sleeper of the two, and it doesn’t take much to rouse him. He stirs, shifts, and the slight jostle of the bed almost makes Tobio throw up. 

“Mngn? W’ssup?” 

You’re going to ruin it you’re going to ruin it you’re going to r

Tobio gulps back whatever’s in his throat, tears, bile, it doesn’t matter anymore and he can’t tell up from down. “Shou, I–” (Shouyou freezes. Tobio can’t see his face. His voice doesn’t feel like his own and it only worsens the hurt.) “Pl–Please, I–help me–” 

It’s barely audible. He doesn’t know how Shouyou hears it. 

Shouyou is sitting up at once, hands on Tobio’s shoulders. One trails up to touch his face. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Shouyou’s voice is wide awake, if shaky. “What happened? Tobes?” 

“S-Sick.” Tobio forces it out, chokes on the exertion. “My head, I–c-can’t–” 

“Okay.” Shouyou’s voice is somewhat steadier now. But just somewhat. “Okay, okay. It’s okay, you’re okay. Is it just your head? What else?” 

“D-Don’t know.” He thought he’d feel worse waking Shouyou, but hearing his voice, feeling his touch, eases him into a certain sense of calm. It doesn’t ease the pain, but it helps him cope with it. “I-It just–it just hurts, it hurts–really bad–” 

“Okay, okay.” Shouyou’s hand presses to his forehead, smooths back his hair. “Yeah, that’s a fever. Hey–” His opposite hand comes to settle on Tobio’s. “Let go, okay? You’re gonna hurt yourself. You can hold my hand instead if you want, okay? It’s okay, just let go.”  

He gently unclenches Tobio’s fingers from his hair, somehow, and threads their hands together immediately. Tobio wants to cry. He could already be crying for all he knows. Shouyou’s fingers card through his hair and it makes the pain just a little more bearable. Tobio leans into it and tries to breathe. 

Shouyou sits with him and lets Tobio rest his head on his thigh. Everything is muddled and hazy and now that Shouyou is holding his hand, and petting his hair, he can close his eyes again and still have reassurance of Shouyou’s presence. 

“Hey.” Shouyou’s voice is quiet. “Hey, I need to get you some medicine, okay? And take your temperature. I won’t be gone a minute, I’ll even run.”

Shouyou has run through the apartment before, and almost skidded out and concussed himself on the table. Even in pain and barely there, Tobio manages to grind out, “Don’t you friggin dare.”

Shouyou laughs quietly. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I won’t. But I’ll be back as fast as I can, okay? Hang in there.” 

He keeps his promise (he must) because the next thing Tobio knows, he’s in Shouyou’s lap again with a thermometer being held under his tongue and what feels like a cold plaster on his forehead. He must have zoned out.

The thermometer is pulled back. Shouyou hisses. “Oh. Yikes. Okay, but it’s not as high as I was scared of. I think you’ll be okay–I’m still gonna give you some medicine, though, do you think you can stomach it? Was that a stupid question?” 

Tobio turns his face into Shouyou’s stomach with a moan he doesn’t remember making. Shouyou’s fingers run through his hair again soothingly. 

“Okay, we’ll wait on the medicine. How’s your head now?” 

“Distant.” Shouyou is a good distraction. He’s just loud enough and just present enough. Never too much. “Th-Thanks.” 

“Aw, you don’t gotta thank me. But you’re welcome, anyway. Does anyone in your family get migraines? My mom used to get them–maybe being sick triggered one?”

Tobio is zoning out again. Something about Shouyou’s voice is just. Nice. It does bring up the pain in his head, but it’s a worthy trade-off. 

“Is this why you were so weird today?” Shouyou asks, in a voice that suggests he already knows the answer and isn’t expecting one, anyway. “You should’ve told me sooner, stupid. I would’ve helped.” 

“S-Sorry,” Tobio croaks, and somewhere in the pit of his stomach not yet claimed by nausea is guilt, just as sickening. “D-Didn’t… wa-wanna throw it all on you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Wanted you to be able to rely on me.” His head still pounds but it’s a little easier to talk, now that he’s been doing it. “Gotta keep up with my half of the d-deal. C-Couldn’t… let you down.” 

“Oh my god are you for real?” 

Tobio has to bite the inside of his cheek. “I…” 

“Wait, no, seriously. After everything we’ve been through, all those years, every volleyball match and every confided secret and literally everything, you don’t think I rely on you?”

Tobio shrinks back and feels suddenly small, vulnerable in a way he hadn’t meant to be. “I–I don’t know.” 

Shouyou sighs, but there’s no small amount of endearment in it, and he strokes Tobio’s hair again and squeezes his hand.

“I’ve always been able to rely on you, Tobio. Little things, big things, all of it. I don’t think there’s ever been a time where I felt like I couldn’t trust you.”

“B-But–” Tobio tries to think, tries to find logic behind his emotions but he’s in pain and he feels terrible and Shouyou is just, Shouyou and he can’t filter himself. “But you can’t now, I-I don’t know if I c-can do everything I’m supposed to tom-tomorrow or th-this week and I–” 

“Tobio.“ Shouyou cuts him off, flicks his shoulder lightly. “You are. So stupid.” 

It’s said with such fondness that it makes Tobio’s head spin. Again. “Wh-What?” 

“’What’?” Shouyou repeats in the same disarmingly sincere tone. “Tobio, I love you. You know that I love you. And maybe we’ll be burdens on each other every now and then, but that doesn’t–change anything. That’s just part of what it means to have relationships, sometimes we do have to pick up each other’s slack. And I don’t mind picking up yours, because I love you. You do the same for me all the time.” 

Tobio’s heart is tight, and so is his throat. “I-I–Shou–” 

Shouyou’s thumb traces his cheek, and it’s only now Tobio realizes he’d started crying. “I know you’re sick right now, and you don’t feel like yourself, and this is probably a conversation we should have when you’re feeling better, but. Yeah. Sorry, I should’ve saved the emotional compromisation for another time, huh?” 

It draws a hoarse laugh from Tobio, one that quickly turns into a pained yelp that has him clenching his teeth and Shouyou wrapping an arm around his shoulders to pull him in closer. 

“Sorrysorrysorrysorry,” Shouyou hurries, a little frantic. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were gonna laugh–It wasn’t funny, moron, you’re ridiculous–” 

Tobio gets his breath back, and his head is still pounding, but this time all he can feel is worn down and exhausted. Especially with Shouyou holding him this close, with Shouyou this warm, with his hands stroking his hair and side.

“Really, though, Shou,” Tobio breathes out. “Thank you. I’ll tell you. Next time.” 

“Good, good.” Shouyou is calm again, and it calms Tobio further. “You should get some sleep, I’ll turn off your alarms for tomorrow. And if I wake up and you’re doing chores, I may in fact kick you.” 

“Noted.” 

Shouyou squeezes his hand. “Take it easy, alright? I love you.”

“Love you, too.” 

Shouyou hums an acknowledgment, and strokes Tobio’s hair gently long after Tobio has fallen asleep. 

[floralseokjin]

;of the sol (m)

A runaway, you’re not accustomed to the way the kind village that took you in live their life—worshipping and celebrating the dragons’ descendants. A story you only ever thought was legend, is that of real life, and you’ve fallen in love with one of this century’s dragon kin. The baker’s son, Kim Seokjin.

;or alternatively, Seokjin is hiding a gold dragon dick under all that clothing...

pairing; kim seokjin x reader genre/warnings; (loose) yona of the dawn au, dragon! seokjin, blonde! seokjin, smut; first time, lots of romance, lots of fluff, …...a dragon dick…… (pls give it a chance) words; 13,359

Inspired and semi-based around Yona of the Dawn. (if you have time, I really recommend the anime/manga, it’s amazing!)

⤑ read over on ao3 here

author’s note; can you believe it’s finally here? I could cry happy tears, seeing as this was an idea of mine I had since early February. Their love story was daunting to write because of all the fluff…and well…the dragon dick… The concept sounds a little crazy, but it truly is the sweetest, most romantic thing i’ve ever written, and i’m so happy with it! p.s. I really wanted to link a pic of his ahem… 🐲🍆but I really don’t want to risk this story being flagged anyway haha, so if you’re curious, please message me and i’ll try to attach the pic! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy ~

Kim Seokjin was your knight in shining armour. Quite literally when he found you that night with his father, although you weren’t to know that until a couple of months down the line. It was a peculiar thought to realise you’d been residing in the village of Helios for over a year. Seokjin had taken you to market with him on the anniversary, selling the bread he and his father baked. That was how they had come across you that fateful night, on their way back from trading, finding you slumped against a tree, exhausted and dehydrated. It seemed fitting to remember such an occasion, because ever since that night everything had changed for the better. You had passed the tree on your way to the surrounding villages, lost in sudden thoughts and memories. It seemed so long ago now.

A runaway, you had escaped your gloomy village in despair, unable to stick a moment longer. If you were to die of starvation, you’d rather it be some place else. You had no idea of the outside world, only jumbled tales and fables that were surely fiction, but too scared to ask for shelter, you’d kept on travelling, moving past every village you came across. You knew without Seokjin and his father’s kindness you would have died out there. They could’ve walked past you, surely coming across all types of riffraff whilst traveling, but instead they rushed forward, immediately checking if you were alive. You would never forget the warmth in Seokjin’s hands that night as he cupped your face and searched for life in your eyes.

It was a warmth you were used to, that’s why. These days it was hard to find you apart, his fingers entwined with yours as you walked around the village, enjoying your free time, away from work. The Kim bakery was the heart and soul of Helios and you were honoured to be working there. You were just so honoured to be living in the beautiful village, period. It had taken you a few weeks to heal fully when you first arrived, and you remembered being so scared that you’d be asked to leave once better. You loved it here, everyone was so kind and accommodating. Especially Seokjin’s family, with who you were staying with. It was only him and his parents, a family unit you never had, and as hard as you tried not to, you’d found yourself growing attached to them. You were over the moon when they asked you to stay, enough room for you to live with them in the house next door to their bakery.

You’d began working at Kim’sBakery—so fittingly titled after the family name—gradually. At first it was to help out while Seokjin and his father went off to trade, just his mother and the baker boy left to hold the fort. They were thankful for your aid, and slowly it happened more and more, a day or two here and there turning into hours upon hours a week. You did not mind at all, it was fun having something to do, and in all honesty, you had never had a job before. Your own village was poor and tarnished, population hardly there for work to be profitable. Most people survived by stealing from passing travellers and hunting wild animals in the woods. You were overjoyed when Seokjin’s parents finally sat you down and asked if you’d like to make it official. Now, you worked almost every day except for Sundays when Kim’s Bakery was closed for the holy day.

Helios village didn’t worship just any average God though. It was a dragon. You had heard lots of tales about this land, once home to such beautiful, mystical creatures hundreds and hundreds of years ago who lived amongst the humans. All colours, all sizes, until one day, the King dragon, a beautiful red beast named Airule, the largest one of all, decided he wanted to change six into men, making them the leaders of six respected tribes of freshly built villages. He wanted to bring the land, the Kingdom of Airule, so fittingly named, together. To create harmony and tranquility; a Kingdom which he would rule peacefully.

That was as far as your knowledge had gone, taking it for hearsay and fiction, but alas, you had been naïve, cooped up in your tiny village and unable to explore and travel the rest of the land. It was notfiction, you found that out once residing in Helios. What you thought was legend, was that of real life, and it blew your mind.

Helios was one of the six main villages in this Kingdom. Six villages for six dragons. Long ago it was land to the Sol tribe, the ancestors of today, and its leader was none other than the golden dragon Helios, a name the village had been christened with too. The human form he lived life in had been beyond stunning, drawings passed down through the centuries, alive and well in children’s books used as bedtime tales. He had flowing long blonde hair, golden in the sunlight, a body strong and muscular, and he radiated love and positivity wherever he went. A smile that was contagious, or so you had read. You’d only found that out since your time here, noticing and wondering what the meaning was of the giant golden dragon statue in the middle of the village. Helios’ dragon from was even more beautiful, scales dazzling under the sun.

That was another thing. The village of Helios was always draped in the glow of the sun, leaves on the tree in beautiful shades of rusty orange, and when it rained—enough to keep drought away and crops fresh—you were always blessed with a rainbow. It truly was a beautiful place and you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have finally found happiness.

A large part of said happiness was down to one boy. Kim Seokjin. Who just so happened to be the sun dragon’s kin. Unbelievable, implausible. You had no idea there was such a thing until he’d confided in you one evening. He was oddly serious before he explained everything, concerning you, but the truth rendered you speechless. You had no clue there were even such things, but as you looked up at the statue that glowed as the sun set for the day, you listened in earnest.

Born every twenty-five years or so—maybe a lot longer depending on creation, Helios was blessed with a fresh sun kin. It could be passed down father to son, a logical explanation, but if the man created no sons, it could also be at random—the village were all descendants of the dragon after all… The latter was Seokjin’s case. Born just as the old sol kin was at death’s door, with golden hair and sun kissed skin, perhaps at first glance he could pass as any babe birthed in this hearty village. For the rays of the sun beamed down on them all. Only there was one difference. Something that set him apart from the rest. He glowed like the sun itself. Blinding, a beacon, and there was no way of denying it. A new dragon had blessed Helios. A new King was born.

Of course, the blazing light simmered after a few days, but the adoration didn’t. He was visited by every single villager, a ceremony in place to pass down the honour. Gifted things he couldn’t possibly have any use for as a week-old baby, and he’d been worshiped ever since. Twenty-one years of unrelenting love. You had always been curious as to why the village seemed to hang off every word he said. Curious as to why everyone looked at him with such love and devotion. Seokjin was indeed amazing, your short time knowing him had taught you that. He was so kind, so attentive. Voice as gentle as a lamb, but a body built like it could go to war. It all made sense. He had the dragon in him. He wasthe dragon. The children’s books could tell you all you needed to know about the dragon Helios, and it was now obvious, every description was Seokjin. He radiated the positivity this world very much needed, like a light. Like a beacon.

He was telling you all this now, and felt awful for keeping it from you, but you had been the first person to see him as just that: a person. His whole life he’d been placed on a pedestal, and even though the village loved him, and he loved the village, they didn’t treat him like one of them. He was different. A greater being. Above them. With you, he was equal. He wanted to be greedy for a little while, because you made him realise he was a good man. You made your decision without any bias, and it was because of that, he finally had to indulge the truth.

He showed you something. Something unbelievable. Something that surely should be impossible, but it wasn’t. Not when he was of dragon. Granted a gift from Helios himself. Your eyes bulged and your mouth gaped as you watched Seokjin birth a ball of golden light from his palms.How else did you think I found you that night,he’d laughed gently, the orb bouncing around between his hands. And there it was, it all fitted together. Your knight in shining armour.

That wasn’t the first time you felt something different for him, but it was the first time you truly acknowledged it. Stood there, the sun finally set for the day, awing as he let the ball of light bounce around your body. Your eyes met and lingered, and your heart jumped inside your chest.

You had no idea his heart was also beating a little harder for you. He asked you if you would accompany him for a picnic down at lake tomorrow afternoon and you accepted eagerly, unable to sleep well that night, nor work properly the next morning. Your heart wouldn’t stop leaping around as you made your way to the lake, but it momentarily stopped once you saw him lounging on a blanket by the bank. This place was the prettiest in the village, where the sun shined the strongest, and you swear he seemed to glow in the rays.

He hadn’t been in the bakery today, training the baker boy how to trade for days he wasn’t available and you soon pushed your nerves to the back of your mind to ask him how it had gone. Talking with Seokjin was always easy, he had been your friend for a couple of months now, but it was increasingly harder to concentrate with the realisation of your feelings. Now he had confided in you, you only felt a deeper connection, and by the way your bodies leant into one another, you could tell he felt it too.

“Do you ever feel scared?” You asked him, tilting your head, squinting slightly as the sun hit your eyes. You could only imagine the pressure he felt on a daily basis. The kin of a dragon, the village’s heart. It was a lot of strain for a boy barely an adult.

“I do,” he admitted quietly after some thought. He looked you in the eyes, as if he’d decided right then and there to be as truthful as he could. “I often wonder why me? I’m just a son born to a baker. There must be someone worthier.”

“Don’t feel like that,” you insisted, unable to stop yourself when you reached for his hand, soothing it with a squeeze. “I think you’re worthy.” Your voice was but a whisper, suddenly shy.

His nose wrinkled, a lopsided smile itching at his mouth. His smile was always your favourite, but his laugh was a close second. It tinkered in your ears. “You only found out I was part dragon not twenty-four hours ago.”

That made you blush a little, cheeks heating up in embarrassment and you cast your gaze down, eyes catching your hand still atop his. For some reason you couldn’t seem to pull it away. He was correct, before yesterday he had still been human. He wasstill human. There was no difference for you. He was still the same person, and if you thought really hard, if the dragons still had to exist, you couldn’t think of a better person to take the honour. Before you could explain that though, he spoke again.

“Is it stupid that I’ve felt the most at ease with myself since I confided in you?”

Your head shot up at that, surprise in your eyes, just as he slipped his hand from under yours to squeeze it instead. He watched you warily, afraid he’d said something he shouldn’t.

“Not at all,” you reassured him with a small smile. “I’m glad I could help in some way.” You didn’t let him know how warm and happy that made you feel. How hopeful.

Something had changed between you and he since yesterday. It was like you were waiting with bated breath for something. Something exciting, something you’d only let yourself pine for not twenty-four hours ago. You both turned your heads to the sky, watching it in absentminded enjoyment. Your hands stayed together. It felt comforting. It feltright.

“Are there more of you…?” Your curiosity itched at you. It was impossible to sate it. There was so much you wanted to know. A world you had been secluded from for so long. A world you could never have imagined before now. You felt Seokjin’s gaze on and you turned your head to face him again. “Dragons,” you added, eliminating the crease of his brow instantly.

He nodded slowly, turning back to look at the sun. You could tell he felt at ease here. He looked magical. How could you have never known? It radiated from him. “Six more, if legend is correct.”

“Will you ever meet them?” What did they look like? What powers did they hold? It was all too much. You wanted to talk about this forever.

“Probably not.” Seokjin chuckled, shrugging casually. “Airule is vast. Some parts so dangerous not a soul in their right mind would try to cross.” That much was true. The south was tamer in comparison. You’d heard stories about further north, and travelling across the kingdom was near impossible. Wasn’t he a little curious though? To learn more about where he came from… To meet people just like him…

You were so lost in thought you hadn’t realised Seokjin’s attention had turned to you, a small smile on his face. Almost fond. It made your heart skip a beat. That pesky thing. “You take this all in your stride,” he mused. His voice sounded so gentle, fluttered through your body, almost made you want to shut your eyes, to revel in it a little more. A little longer.

You smiled wide, making sure to lock eyes as you spoke. “Maybe I always knew you were special.”

His eyes widened, taken by surprise and he looked away hastily, pink colouring his cheeks as he tried to think of something to say. He couldn’t. Speechless. It was cute. The realisation made you feel all warm inside. More so when he chose to squeeze your hand in reply instead. You acted without much thought, recklessly maybe, but it just felt right. To link your fingers carefully with his. The action made you feel safe. He didn’t pull away. He just squeezed harder.

Yes, something had changed between you two. You were sure of it now. The hope in your chest bloomed until it slightly overwhelmed you, and all you could do was stare out over the lake. The sun had begun to sink a tad. You were relieved when Seokjin spoke again.

“I have more secrets.” He began hesitantly, swallowing before continuing. “Confessions.” You turned your head his direction, watching him carefully. He kept his eyes locked on the sky. “I thought I’d be selfish if I told you, but I can’t keep this silent for any longer…and… and besides,” he chuckled lightly, upturning his shoulder. “I think you wouldn’t mind at all.”

Your heart stopped then. At his words. At his actions, as he turned to face you. To stare you right in the eyes. You knew. You knew what he was about to say.

“I like you.” You gripped his hand tighter, his words overcoming you. Surely this was a dream… However, no. Fate had been kind to you since Seokjin found you. “I’ve fallen for you, and there’s no escape…”

He almost sounded sad, mouth downturned as his gaze fell to his lap. You took that as worry. Worry you didn’t like him back, and you clung to him harder, moving closer. Your shoulders brushed against one another, legs soon after. You wanted to touch him some more. You wanted to never let him go. You wanted him to be yours.

“Seokjin…” You breathed, hot air hitting his cheek. He closed his eyes, like he couldn’t bear to see you this close. Feelyou this close. “You know I like you too.”

His next breath was shaky. It left him like he was almost afraid, but he fluttered his eyes open again. They pooled with sincerity. His tone of voice the same. “You see me for me.”

Why did he seem so shocked? What else would you see him for? You couldn’t help but slowly reach for his face with your free hand, cupping the soft flesh of his cheek. He fell into your touch.

“Even now, after you know the truth you don’t treat me differently. You’re not melodramatic, feverish…” You giggled at that. The girls that seemed to flock him every time he appeared at the bakery didn’t go unnoticed to you. Maybe it was the jealousy, not that you would ever admit that out loud, but it was incredibly obvious that most of the women of Helios had an enthusiastic reaction to him because of who he was… Although, what he looked like sure helped things too… He was beautiful. Maybe he didn’t see that…

Your giggle died down when he wrinkled his nose, still lost in thoughts of his own. “…Disgusted…”

That was absurd. Impossible. He was talking nonsense, and you wanted to kiss it from his mouth. To abolish such foolish thoughts. You carefully slipped your fingers from his, and he went to chase them on instinct, stopping when he felt your hand clasp the back of his neck, locking him place. You tilted your head to press your forehead against his. He took another shaky breath.

“I think you’re amazing.”

You were taken by surprise when he wrapped his arm around your waist, embracing you intimately as his other hand toyed in the locks of your hair. His next breath sounded like a relieved sigh. You carried on. Finding it easy to confess.

“Always have. Even more so now.” He watched you pause and smile with curiosity. “Seokjin, I can’t fight it any longer.”

It seemed like you both couldn’t. Your breathes mingling together. The warmth of your body heat merging also. Your eyes closed the same time your mouths met, and you knew right then, right there, you had never felt happier. It was like you were born to experience this moment. Born to feel the plush of his lips against yours. Born to taste the sweetness of his tongue.

You had dreamed about your first kiss since you were a child, long before the harsh realities of life became apparent, and over time the small act seemed stupid and insignificant. Meeting Seokjin had made you wonder once again… Nerves were nonexistent, not when it concerned the boy in front of you. It was just natural.

He was a gentle kisser. Gentle and kind, just like himself, and you only stopped momentarily to catch your breath and tell him the most important thing of all. The last thing that needed to be shared.

“I’m glad you found me.”

He smiled, lips kiss bitten—your doing, a realisation that made your face burn semi- innocently—and stroked your cheeks, thumbs circling the apples, agreeing wholeheartedly before he was closing the distance once more.

The murmur of your name sounded against your sticky mouth as Seokjin tried to pull back. He moved almost hesitantly, reluctantly, because you knew he didn’t want to stop. However, he did manage to break away enough to rush out more words, a breathless chuckle leaving him too. “Let us catch our breath, my love.”

You pouted instantly, crushing him to you as you rolled him onto his back. He let you without little resistance. You wouldn’t be able to do it otherwise. “I don’t want to,” you whined, catching his lips with yours again.

Kissing Seokjin was addictive. With each passing month, week, day, it was getting harder and harder to control yourself. The burning need in your body needed to be satisfied. You’d surely blow up if not. You’d been happily courting for over ten months now, and despite enjoying the content feeling, the safe feeling when it came to having him in your life—not only romantically, but he was your friend too—there was just something missing… Lover.

Even the word made made you heat up, cheeks ablaze, palms turning sweaty. You were in love with each other, you told that to one another every single day, so logically there was one last step to go… You wanted him. You wanted him to make love to you.

Frowned upon by the elders, consummating such a relationship was near impossible to do. You had to make use of stolen moments like these, in your bedroom, when you were both free from the bakery, Seokjin’s father out to trade with the baker boy, Seokjin’s mother busy baking in the kitchen. This afternoon was the perfect opportunity, they weren’t given to you often, but Seokjin… Seokjin was always hesitant to take it to the next level.

“W-we should stop.” He tried again. This time turning his head when you tried to chase his kiss instinctively. He averted his gaze too, almost refusing to look you in the eyes. However, his mouth was parted, breathing shallow. He couldn’t hide how affected he was. What was he running from?

“Seokjin,” you insisted with a sigh. “I really do not mind.” If he felt guilty, there was no need. You cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. His irises were almost black, pupils blown out double their size. The carnal urge inside you roared, but your voice stayed softly sweet. “I knowhow much you love me.”

He shook his head as best he could. “It’s taking advantage.”

“Of what?” You laughed loudly. “Don’t be so silly.” There was no such thing as taking advantage. Not when your love for Seokjin was concerned. Besides, was it so bad? In the end you both wanted to take advantage of one another. The itch for a pleasure unimaginable incessant. You gripped his face harder, so close your mouth brushed against his as you murmured more clandestine confessions. “I want you. So bad.” His lips moved like he couldn’t control it. Capturing your bottom lip to tug softly downwards. Your heart jumped, just like something between your legs. This was torture.

A groan tore from your throat as your neck fell back. “Kim Seokjin, you drive me crazy.”

“Likewise.” He agreed, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth before he closed his eyes. He looked beautiful lying on your bed, blonde hair fluffed out against the pillows. He truly was out of this world. A painting. Your body and heart were near to bursting.

“So. Let us give way to sin. Isn’t that what they say?” You urged, clinging to his shirt to tug at him almost petulantly.

He sighed gently, long fingers circling your wrists, stilling your motions. The action was stern enough to make you stop in your tracks. “You speak without thought.” He murmured. It somehow caused your cheeks to flush, embarrassment settling uncomfortably in your chest.

You let him carefully sit you upright, with him following until you slid to the side to let him bring his legs out from under you. His feet hit the floor. Gentle, but it was a thud to your ears. His back was to you now. “I should go back next door. See if they need me.”

“They don’t.” You couldn’t help but try one last time, even though his rejection was heavy in your heart. Your hand landed on his shoulder clumsily, attempting to stop him from rising. You didn’t miss the way he stiffened. “Seokjin…” You barely whispered, voice filled with concern. It even wobbled, so you swallowed, hardening your exterior. If there was one thing this life had taught you, it was to always act braver than you were—than you felt.

You tried again. “Don’t you want me like that?”

Seokjin whipped around immediately, horror in his eyes and tone as he spoke. “Of course I do!” He clasped your hands tightly. Almost a little tootightly, as if he needed you to understand.

“Then what’s the problem?” You begged quietly. You needed to know. If it was because he wanted to wait, that was fine with you, of course it was. However, from the way he was acting right now—the way he’d been acting every time he stopped you short—it was something more than that. The anguish on his face right now told you that. He looked pained, beside himself as he battled an internal dilemma raging inside his mind.

Finally, he spoke. Voice tiny, gaze unable to hold yours as he looked down at your clasped hands. He opened his mouth, stopped himself and then let go of you, tugging at his cotton trousers instead. He tried again. “You won’t want me when you see the truth.”

“See the truth?” You puzzled after a tiny pause. You wanted to reach out to him but you were too scared. Nothing made any sense.

He shook his head, eyes closed as he scoffed pitifully. “I really should go…”

“Seokjin.” Your voice was gentle, tender, as you tried to let him know everything was alright. Whatever he was afraid of, he didn’t need to be. Whatever it was he was keeping from you, you would not stop loving him, wantinghim. He looked up, blinking slowly as he gazed into your eyes. You had never seen him look so scared. Seokjin, your Seokjin, who was always so bright and brave. You continued, desperate to make your voice reassuring. “Tell me. We promised no secrets.”

He looked at you still, as if he was contemplating his options. You watched him shift, and for a split second you were half expecting him to bolt. Instead he averted his gaze yet again.

“Okay,” he whispered hoarsely. “When I was born…” You waited patiently, the unexpected wrenching you with worry. Silence felt like it dragged on for eternity until he finally continued. “There was a…deformity…”

The word seemed to taste foul in his mouth, lips downturned in a grimace. Your heart skipped a beat, shock and confusion rooting inside you. Whatever it was you expected him to say, it was not that.“The dragon’s gift came with a curse.” He sounded bitter. Pained and bitter.

‘Where?” You wondered loudly, unable to stop yourself. “What are you speaking about? I have never seen anything…”

He shook his head again. “It’s not visible right now.” He sounded weak, speech stunted as he tried to lock eyes with you once again. “We dragon kin possess powers.”

He was struggling and you tried to help, edging a hand closer to his atop his thigh. His body was still half twisted away from you, and you wanted him to relax, lie back again, assure you he wasn’t going anywhere… wasn’t leaving you. You nodded earnestly. “Yours, light to darkness.”

“Mhm.” He tried to agree passively, pulling at a loose thread on his trousers. “But we also have physical traits too.” He was slow again, cautious. “Scales. Limbs. Tails…” Your eyes widened, the news a shock. He had never told you that, which made you wonder what his physical defect was… “Mine is much…” He stopped to grimace, physically disgusted. “Mine is vile.” He spat the word. You felt the hate behind it.

You rushed to hold his hand, unable to hear him talk like this. “Seok—

“Embarrassing. Inhuman.” He cut you off, his brain now going in to overdrive. Like he couldn’t stop. He pushed your hand away, looking at you gravely. “You don’t understand.” He was anguished, sorrowful, humiliated. “It stops me from showing you how much I love you…”

Your brow furrowed, trying to make sense of his words, and then ever so slowly everything began to get clearer. Your hand fell limp to the side of his leg, eyes grazing down his torso and into his lap. Stops him from showing…That could only mean one thing. How he’d been reluctant to take your courtship further. Why he’d been reluctant… Physical traits.That’s what he’d just said, so what did that mean? Scales… You opened your mouth to say something, anything, but what? He still hadn’t told you exactly what was wrong. You felt wrong for even guessing such a thing, but by the look in his eyes, you knew your assumption was correct.

“You’ve guessed.” He finally confirmed solemnly. “I’m so sorry. I kept this from you when I shouldn’t have, but how do I dare tell anyone?”

You wanted to reassure him straight away. To tell him not to be silly. However, your head was spinning, trying to make sense of such a baffling thought. Shock was still sparked in your body, and it showed on your face.

“Won’t they see me as a monster?” He continued, almost like he was asking himself. You caught his eye as he looked up. “Do you see me as a monster?”

“Seokjin, no,” you gasped immediately. This time when you cupped his hand he didn’t pull away. You seemed to catch him by surprise. He was surprised you weren’t repulsed by him? That poor boy. What did he think he was? You knew right then and there, that this piece of new information didn’t change a thing between you and him. He needed to understand. “Seokjin, you’re not a monster.” You insisted, but he shook his head adamantly.

“Please forgive me. I shouldn’t have let this go on for so long. Not when I knewit would end like this.”

End? You panicked. What was ending? “This is silly.” Your voice was shrill when filled with the reality of loosing Seokjin. Why was he acting like this was over? Nothing had changed. Why couldn’t he see that? Why couldn’t he listen to you?

You reached for his face instead, clasping his cheeks so hard he’d surely get pressure marks. “Seokjin, you’re being silly. Let’s talk some more. Tell me everything, so I can understand better.” You were pleading, eyes wide, filling with tears.

“There is no point,” he half-wailed, wrenching from your grip. “Don’t you see? There’s nothing to understand, other than I’m a monster to you.”

“No,” you uttered, ears burning, not wanting to hear this nonsense.

“If you saw, you’d realise.” His voice was low, unlike anything you’d ever heard before. Almost like a warning.

“You are definitely not anything of the sort!” You were near to shouting, desperate for him to listen to you. What would it take for him to believe you? You went to reach for him again. “You’re—

“I need to go.” He raised his voice. Louder than yours, and pulled back from your hands, standing to the floor.

“No,” you cried, your fingers managing to catch in the loose fabric of his shirt, tugging as tight as you could. His hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping you.

“I wantto go.” He whispered. Voice tight, eyes pooling with tears that threatened to spill any moment. That just broke your heart even more. “I want to be alone. I’m sorry.”

He let go of your wrist and you loosened your grip on him, hand dropping to the bed. What choice did you have? You needed to respect his wishes. He stepped back immediately, turning from you as he flew to the door.

“I’m sorry for everything,” was the last thing he said as he shut it behind him.

That night you couldn’t sleep a wink. Once the tears had come, they couldn’t stop for the whole evening. That was your first argument. If you could call it that. Neither of you were angry at one another. At least you thought Seokjin wasn’t mad at you. Mad at himself it seemed, yes. Ashamed, mortified? They both seemed fitting too. Even though he had no need.

Your head buzzed. Trying to make sense of the little information you had. Your imagination could have never fathomed such a thing, so it was finding it hard to do so right now, but gradually, and as the sun began to rise, throwing Helios into a dim glow, the shock wore off. It didn’t change a thing.

It didn’t change anything at all. You were positive. You still loved Seokjin just as much as you had moments before his cryptic revelation. You were even… No, you couldn’t think that…but… Your hunger for him still ached away at you. It was fierce now, because he’d finally acknowledged something deeper between you two. He felt it too. It stops me from showing you how much I love you… He’dsaid that. He wanted you too. However, he was afraid you wouldn’t want him when you found out the truth.

You were torn. Feeling too many emotions at once. Your need for him, but also your sorrow. Your heart ached. He had lived with this secret for twenty-one years. Living his life under the assumption it would be alone. He was the apple of the village’s eye, but in his eyes, he harboured a nasty secret. He thought he was a monster, and that just broke your heart.

He was nothing of the sort. The kindest, gentlest man you’d ever met, and nothing would change that. It was about what was on the inside, not a physical deformity.

Shamefully, just with all this thinking, you pulsed underneath the sheets. Curiosity itched away at you, wondering what he looked liked. If only he knew. Would he be disgusted? Or would he realise that you didn’t mind at all? Nothing he could tell you could make you love him less. Make you want him less… You needed to talk to him. Needed to make him understand.

However, the next day brought busy work. You were in the bakery all day, rushed off your feet and Seokjin had been out with his father since 7am, visiting the nearing village. You’d seen him in passing this morning, but he’d paid little attention to you, refusing to meet your eyes when you’d politely greeted him good morning as he left the dining table. You’d carried on your day with a heavy heart and when they still hadn’t arrived back to catch supper, you’d made your way to bed with an even heavier one, stomach empty with loss of appetite. Perhaps Seokjin’s mother knew something was wrong, but she didn’t bring it up, wishing you a good night’s sleep with a kiss to your cheek.

You’d been lying in bed, wide awake, for an hour when you’d finally heard the tell-tale noises of his arrival back home. He and his father always tried to be as silent as possible, but the stairs creaked when they tip-toed up them and you could hear them bid goodnight to one another. You thought you may be able to sleep then, relieved he’d come home safe, but the need to see him pained you. You couldn’t spend another night like this. Tomorrow may be busier, a Saturday. You had never not said a word to one another for longer than a few hours…

You waited another thirty minutes, careful to make sure his parents had enough time to fall sound asleep, before you got out of bed, creeping out the door and down the hallway. Seokjin’s bedroom was right at the end and thankfully his mother and father resided the opposite. They’d collapse of heart failure if they found out what you were doing, but you couldn’t feel guilty now. You needed to see your boyfriend.

His door was slightly ajar, and any worry you had of him possibly being asleep disintegrated when you saw the glow of his oil burner in the dark. You lightly tapped on the wood, hoping he could hear you. When you were met with silence, you whispered his name. Another silence, and then he whispered yours back, question in his tone. You took that as an invite, quietly pushing the door open and slipping inside.

Seokjin was sitting up in bed, cheesecloth sleepshirt threaded loose across his chest and shoulders. His blonde hair laid across his forehead, having brushed it for the night and he had his diary in his lap, open has he wrote. You opened your mouth to apologise for interrupting him, but he beat you to it.

“Are you angry at me?” He looked worried, eyes wide as he leaned forward, discarding the diary atop his nightstand.

You shook your head firmly. “Never.”

“But I lied to you.” He sounded confused. Voice small, eyebrows knitted together.

“You have never lied to me.” Seokjin was an honest man. He may have hidden things from you, but they were not lies. He was just scared to disclose the truth. However, he needn’t be. Nothing had changed.

“Please,” you begged softly, taking a step closer to the foot of his bed. “I need you. Can you just hold me right now?”

He watched you, seemingly in a little shock. Whatever he expected your reaction to be at his news, it was clearly not this, but he nodded slowly, stretching his arms out to when you began to crawl up the bed. You latched onto his shoulders, squeezing him tightly. He clung on to you just as hard, burying his face into your hair and taking a relieved breath. You could have stayed like that all night, but soon enough you found yourself under the sheets with him, curled into his body, head cushioned by his chest as he ran his fingers through your locks.

“If my parents find you out of your bed…” He murmured, kissing the top of your head. You buried your face into him, filling your nostrils with his scent as you closed your eyes. You felt ten times lighter. Dramatic maybe, but you were so glad to be back in his arms. For the whole day you’d been scared that would never happen again…

“They’re asleep. I waited,” you reassured him. He didn’t say anything in reply, fingers never stilling as he soothed the strands down your back. You lifted your head a tad, looking up at him before placing a kiss on his chest. Your lips caught the gaps of his skin, visible through the threaded laces. You wanted to kiss every inch of him. “I don’t like not speaking with you.”

“Likewise.” His smile was sad, voice gentle. He cupped your face now, thumb caressing circles. “I’m so terribly sorry. I was… ashamed yesterday.” He looked away as he finished, still obviously embarrassed by the memory. “Still am.” He added, chuckling softly. “But you can’t see my cheeks burn in this dim lighting.”

Your eyes met for a second and you couldn’t help but giggle along too. Seeing him joke around was relieving. You shuffled closer to him, face now level with his as you took it in your palms. “You never have to be ashamed.” You whispered. “Ever.” You watched for a reaction. Instead he closed his eye, visibly struggling with your words. What would it take to make him believe you? If only he could open up more…

“Seokjin,” you began carefully, and ever so slowly he fluttered his eyelids open. His large eyes glassy. “If you love me, you have to explain everything to me. I’m owed that.”

“I already did,” he croaked.

You pulled back, giving him some room, but also because you were about to ask something that made you grow hot, cheeks blushed. “You…” You shook your head, beginning again. “You have…” However, try as you might, you could not finish, gaze falling down his body instead, hidden by the sheets.

Perhaps he misunderstood your hesitation though, because he sounded forlorn when he replied. “Yes. I do.” How was he supposed to know that your body desired him just as strongly as yesterday? You almost felt ashamed, knowing he was so distressed, but you couldn’t help it. If only he understood… Would it make him feel better?

“I’m not human when it comes to that,” he continued, shaking your hands from his face. His hand fell to the mattress, too shamed to touch you.

“I don’t care,” you pleaded, clutching a hold of his shirt instead. You had gotten so passionate you were now kneeled over his body, begging him to listen to you. “Seokjin, I still want to be with you. I love you. I don’t give a damn.” You were shaking him, forgetting to keep your voice down.

He firmly circled your wrists with his fingers, stilling you, and your voice broke off with a cry, scared and panicked. You couldn’t lose him. Not after everything you’d been through in your life. He was your one happiness. Your light in the once never-ending darkness.

“My parents were so happy when I told them about us,” he began almost wistfully. His voice was so gentle it caught you off guard, and you relaxed your body, feeling him entwine his fingers with yours. “To finally see their son so joyous and in love…” Your chest swelled, wanting to hold him some more, but then his expression fell. “But they also know the truth. They’re the only ones who do. Imagine birthing a child to be met with such horror.”

“Shush,” you quickly rushed, letting go of his hands to grip his face. “Don’t say such things.” How could he think himself a monster when he was the most gentle, loving man around? Could he not see the real him? Could he not look in a mirror and see the truth? He was blinded by his disgust for himself. It had tainted his life since he was old enough to understand.

“They’re nervous of it ending. Just like I am.” He continued, barely there, hushed under his breath. The word endscared you beyond belief, only dispelling when you felt his large hands grip around yours, holding you to him tightly. “But I don’t want to let you go.” He sounded desperate, broken. Almost like he was begging. It cut at your heart. “I love you too much.”

“Then don’t!” Your faces were so close by now, noses crushed up against one another as you pleaded. Both teary eyed, both so hopelessly in love with one another. “You don’t have to. I won’tlet you.”

“How can I ever love you properly?” He cried out, voice breaking as he tried to keep quiet. “Satisfyyou?” He sounded tormented. Like this was all he’d been thinking about. You felt a flood of guilt wash over you. All this time, ever kiss and touch you secretly shared together. While you craved and hinted for more, he was tortured, under the impression you would never love him the same again if you knew the truth. For months he hid, thinking he couldn’t give you what you wanted. No matter how much he wanted it too.

None of that mattered now. You needed him to know that wasn’t important. What wasimportant was your love for him, and his love for you. “You already love me as best as humanly possible, because that is what you are.” You pressed your forehead against his, closing your eyes. “Human.” Not a monster. “This heart that beats,” you signalled, reaching one hand between your bodies and covering his chest. The muscle beat under your palm hard. “It’s all human.”

He let out a tiny sigh, almost like he’d been holding his breath. Your words sent a relief through him, and one of his hands laced through your hair at the back of your head, holding you close. Your breaths mingled with one another. You slightly out of breath, desperate to make him see, and his shallow, listening as you continued.

“You just have the blessing of Helios inside you. It shines bright, and I couldn’t think of a better man for the job.” He let you pull back to look him in the eyes. This time he didn’t look away. He shone right now, you swore it. He was of the sun. A gift. Your gift.

“Seokjin,” you murmured, unable to stay away from his mouth a moment longer. “I love you.” His lips were warm and soft. The instant comfort that you’d longed for all day. He felt like home. You’d never had one of those until you met him. You pulled back slowly, mouth parting to tell him one last importance. “I love you no matter what you hide, and I am so lucky to have met you.”

He made a noise as he reached for your mouth hastily; one of relief and happiness. It rumbled as his lips touched yours and you whimpered, because it seemed like you’d finally gotten through to him. This time he kissed you without hesitation, without something to say, and you felt the difference instantly. His tongue eagerly swiped across your bottom lip, delicate but restless, and you parted instantly, your muscles meeting, caressing one another.

He clutched your cheek tighter, rising his head before he began to sit up. “I love you too,” he rushed, and before you could take another breath, you were pushed on your back, his large body twisting to crawl over yours. His legs kicked the sheets away, crumpled to the bottom of the mattress, and the bed frame groaned under the sudden movement, but Seokjin was too distracted to notice. He cupped your face with both hands now, words pressed tight against your lips. “So, so much.” You were too breathless to reply.

After he was done chasing your mouth, he found your jaw, kissing hot trails towards the sensitive flesh of your neck. This was a new feeling altogether, your skin erupting with goosebumps, each breath turning into little shallow gasps. When his hands began to caress your sides, you felt as if your heart was beating outside of your body. It drummed manically, alive only to the sensation of his touch. How long had your body craved for this? Imagining what it would feel like to have his hands on you like this? Even his touch above the material of your bodice was enough to suffice. You felt him everywhere, his palms burning their way to the skin. A moan slipped from his lips when he found the swell of your breasts, kissing them like he had been kissing your mouth for months. His tongue slipped between your cleavage, your eyes closing, basking silently in the pleasure until you felt his palms cupping the soft flesh and they flew open again.

“Seokjin,” you breathed, hands running along his large shoulders. He kissed up your chest, peppering your throat in kisses until he found your lips again. He was out of breath, moving without direction, like he couldn’t stay still for long enough to think clearly. His thumbs found where your nipples were, hidden beneath the cotton and they hardened under the pads magically. You were beginning to get aroused, much more aroused than you’d ever been before. It coloured your cheeks. They felt hot. Like they were burning.

“You’re so beautiful,” he got out. Voice an octave lower, gruff. It shot up your legs, finding home beneath your nightgown. “I want to kiss every inch of you. I want to see how beautiful you are bare. I want to hold you. Touch you. Feel you.”

You felt like you were drowning. Either that or going crazy. You were beside yourself, squirming underneath him, his body heat seeping into yours, causing your head to go giddy. If you died right now, you’d go happy. You would want to see the whole thing out, of course, but with how fast the blood was coursing through your body right now, who knew if you’d blow up…

Beside himself also, you felt his hands reach under your nightgown, gripping the underside of your thighs. His palms were clammy and hot, and the contact made you jerk into him; new and exciting. He didn’t stay there for long though, a strangled noise leaving him as he fumbled over your body, unable to keep still for his greed took over.

“I cannot hold back any longer,” he admitted almost embarrassingly, fingers playing with the lace of your bodice. They shook and you clasped them in your own.

“Then don’t.” You whispered.

Your gaze was unwavering, speaking unsaid words, expressing your desire, and a moment later he was hastily unlacing you. Your lips met in a frenzy, your fingers helping his as he freed your chest from its confines. When he felt your soft breasts against his hands he had to pull away, jaw slack, eyes unblinking as he drunk the image up. You kissed at his nose, his cheeks, his open mouth, giggling quietly at his reaction.

“Can I kiss them?” He requested, all but a breath, and you nodded quickly, bracing yourself, but never ready for when his tongue delicately brushed against your left nipple. You arched your back, chasing the feeling, wanting more, and he engulfed the flushed peak between his lips, caressing it with the tip of his tongue. The stimulation was making your toes curl, his sheet sliding off the bed as you jerked your leg and moaned sweetly. He liked that, working wider strokes of his tongue until he was kissing your breast like he would your mouth. His right hand reached for your forgotten breast, kneading the flesh, his thumb circling the hard bud. There was the most scorching burn between your legs, and Seokjin’s weight against your body did nothing for it. It just made it blaze harder.

“Is this alright?” He asked, pulling away slowly, mouth all sticky, lips shining in the muted glow of the oil lamp. He looked golden in this light, the shadow of the flames flickering across his face as he kneeled straight, hands cupping your sides tightly, as if he needed to anchor himself down.

You wondered if you looked as beautiful as he did? He was looking at you as if you did. You wanted to look even more bewitching… Nodding your reply you carefully began to rise. Seokjin had no other choice but to move back, letting you sit on your knees. He watched in silence as you took the hem of your nightgown in your hands, eyes wide and mesmerised when you began to lift it up, shimmying it over your hips and up your torso. It freed from your shoulders easily, and there was a moment of darkness as it covered your face, and then it was gone, dropped to floor, in which you hoped was seductively.

You both kneeled before one another, you bare, except for the cotton underwear that hid your innocence. It throbbed so hard you were shocked Seokjin couldn’t notice, but he was too distracted, drinking in the sight before him like you were a painting. Your eyes met, and and you felt no shame, only love. So much love it overwhelmed you, gripped at your lungs, squeezed at your heart. You were moaning in relief when his mouth flew at yours, clutching him tight around the neck as your bodies pressed against one another.

He moaned too. It didn’t sound real, but such a beautiful sound could only come from such a beautiful young man, so it was yours to hear, and yours only. When you finally drew apart, he clutched your jaw, mouth open, breath heavy, eyes unfocused and blown out. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He told you, shaking his head a little to correct himself. “Willever lay eyes on.” His gaze travelled down between your bodies, a sweet sigh leaving him. “There is so much I want to do to you…”

Something in your abdomen began to flip around, his words affecting your body until you were trembling something chronic. However, there was something else that needed to be done before you could even think about being so selfish. You brought one of your hands over his shoulder, running it down his chest until you stopped at the centre, gripping the cloth in your fist. “Please undress too.”

He looked at you quietly at first, as if he was contemplating it. You didn’t want to rush him at all, nor force him into a situation he felt uncomfortable with, but he seemed just as desperate as you, and after all, there was so much youwanted to do to him too… With a resolute nod he let go of your face, placing one sweet, lingering kiss on your mouth with a smile before he moved to slip his nightshirt off. You had never had the pleasure of seeing Seokjin shirtless. Although this summer had been incredibly hot, he was considerably modest—which made perfect sense now—and he’d rather swelter in the heat than cool down with one easy motion. It was all worth the wait now.

Seokjin was built so large, that had been one of the first thing you’d noticed when you’d initially met him, but his bare torso was a sight to behold. His skin almost glistened in the flamed light, and he looked so divine you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching out and caressing him. He was hard too, chest firm beneath your palm as you dragged one across slowly. The other ran along his shoulder, gently massaging the muscle. Your mouths met again, you just couldn’t get enough. It felt like you were only breathing properly when you kissed one another. He wrapped his arms around your middle, holding you close, your bare chests pressed against one another. His skin was boiling. You found yourself on your back again, head cushioned by his pillow, hair pushed out like a halo. He pulled back on his heels, taking the opportunity to stare down at your naked body laid out on his bed. You ran your fingers down his stomach, stopping at the waistband of his breeches.

“More,” you whispered, begging him with your eyes. You felt his body freeze up. “Please.”  You added. You wanted terribly to show him how perfect he was. “I want to see. There is nothing in this world that could make my love go away.”

That seemed to comfort him, and even though there was still fear in his eyes, his hands moved to the buttons along his crotch. “Promise?” He asked, voice small.

You nodded firmly. “I swear on my life.”

That was all he needed, and you watched with bated breath and a drumming heart as he began to unfasten his trunks. He believed you. He trusted you. You were overwhelmed with love again, struggling with how to express it all at once. You would spend your whole life doing so, you were sure of it.

You kept silent as he stepped out of the garment, even when you grew surprised at the bounds of woven gauze wrapped around his groin. You had not been expecting the great lengths he had to take in order to keep it concealed. Whether he needed to, or whether it was because he couldn’t bear to look at it himself… You hated to think it was the latter.  

“I…” He trailed off, fingers visibly shaking as he found the end of the cotton, fiddling with it as it loosened. “I have to hide it well.”

He sounded embarrassed and you hated it, sitting up to console him.  “It’s okay,” you murmured, catching his fingers with yours. You held on for a while, looking up at him with a small smile, waiting for him to return it. When he did timidly, your heart swelled. “I love you, Seokjin. So much.”

He nodded his head, perhaps to give himself confidence, because he soon dropped your hand to your side, busying himself with the gauze again and ever so slowly he began to unbind himself. With each layer that fell you could make out the obvious bulge that laid in the middle. You were not so innocent. His arousal was a lot harder to hide than yours…

“Is it not painful wrapped so tight?” You couldn’t help but ask, worry colouring your tone.

“A little,” he admitted bashfully.

As he got closer your mouth parted in awe. There were small golden scales that trailed up the right side of his groin, along his hip and upwards, trailing off as they hit his stomach. These didglisten in the light, and you just had to touch them, following the scatter with the tip of your fingers. Seokjin’s breath hitched, stilling momentarily to look down at you. “They’re beautiful,” you said, voice hushed.

He smiled gently at you. The fear was still in his eyes, but so was a warmth. He knew you loved him unconditionally, and despite his reservations, he carried on, unwrapping the last of the woven fabric before he dropped it to the mattress.

“Oh.” You let out, blinking a few times at the sight before you.

He took your silence as a fear for the worst, panicking as he pulled back from you, your hand on his hip falling to your side. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—

“You’re beautiful,” you interrupted him, reaching for both his hips this time as you held him still. You should have said something immediately, but you were speechless. Astounded by the beauty. He let you study him, but kept his eyes trained to the wall in front of him. You could hear his heart pounding from here. You didn’t want him to feel ashamed.

“Gold,” you breathed. For reasons unknown, you had not been expecting such a sight. Yes, he had told you he was cursed but really speaking, you had no clue how. You could never have fathomed this. It was golden, just as you saw him. He really was the sun, and there was nothing hideous about him. He was beautiful.

It stood from his body, distended from arousal and its entrapment. Tip pointed and a slit that seemed to be leaking some type of clear substance that made it shimmer even more. The length was a little intimidating, but that may have been down to your inexperience. Smooth and curved, three ridges followed the tip until a larger one hit the base, bulbous and veiny. Under his member sat his scrotum, equally as golden. The scales that speckled his hip started at the groin, no faint hair in sight, but they also travelled down his left leg, at the inside of his thigh, stopping midway.

You had never seen another manhood, so logically speaking, this was no matter. You had nothing to compare it to. You would now neverwant to compare something so breathtakingly beautiful. The sight had you in awe, but he didn’t seem to notice, squirming in your grip. Trying to get free, trying to hide.

“Seokjin, look at me,” you implored, reaching for his waist as you knelt too, desperate to get as near eye level as you could. You clung to his face, kissing his mouth, but his arms lie limp at his sides. “Seokjin…” You started, taking his hands to drag him down over your body.

“Come here.” He complied, body almost sagging, and once he’d lowered enough you flipped him, straddling his chest. You found his face again, kissing his mouth open, desperately, your breathing getting louder.

“You’re beautiful. Perfect.Please don’t be ashamed.” You pleaded. He didn’t say anything in reply, but you felt his hands behind your thighs, holding you in place. His tongue peeked out of his mouth, delicately laving yours with each caress of your mouth. You pulled back to catch a look of his face, and you were pleased to see his gaze was on yours now.

“Thank you,” he smiled. “For everything.”

“You never have to hide with me,” you smiled back, lowering your body to his thighs. As you did so, your hand accidently brushed against his member. It was the lightest of touches, but his bottom half jerked upwards, a strangled cry leaving him.

You froze, eyes wide. You wondered if you should apologise, confused by his reaction. Confused altogether. Your stomach lurched as you thought back. He had felt so smooth, like marble, but soft, and so warm. Bravely, you ran your hand over his length again, with purpose this time, watching his face for reactions. His plush lips parted, swollen and pink from your stolen kisses, and a beautiful sigh left him. It sounded like your name. It wasyour name.

“Does that feel good?” You questioned, voice high-pitched with excitement. You didn’t give him time to reply, wrapping your fist around the thickest part of the shaft—the part you guessed had most the feeling. He jerked forward again. You could feel him pulse against your palm. “I want to make you feel good,” you murmured determinedly.

He moaned in response, too overcome for words at that precise moment. All he seemed to do was rock his hips into your hold, almost as if he was trying to create friction. You acted on the spot, sliding your fist up the ridged flesh. He let out a sigh of relief, and you moved back, repeating the action slowly.  

“Yes, it feels so good.” He finally replied, voice strained. “It feels more than good.” This time a small chuckle fell from his lips. It was music to your ears. “I’ve never…” He stopped to swallow, and you crouched lower over his body, blood rising to the surface of your skin when you felt his hands slide up your buttocks, shaping the flesh in his palms gently. Everything about him was gentle, and it only made you love him more.

He tried again. “I’ve never done this… felt this…” You could tell he was feeling bashful at his confession, so you shushed him with your mouth, kissing him sweetly, lovingly. It made you sad to know he had hidden from his body—from who he was—for so long. Sad to know he was that disgusted with himself… How tortured he must have felt every time you kissed him so brazenly… Bound like he had been, fit to burst. How much willpower did one man have?

“Let me do anything you want,” you whispered. You wanted to make him feel the divine like pleasure an orgasm brought. “Faster?” You prompted, beginning to rake your palm a lot quicker. He moaned in response, head pushing back into the pillow, his thick neck on show. His fingers dug into your buttocks now. It helped with the ache between your legs.

You were getting greedy, chasing his reactions. His cheeks flushed, just like the rest of him; patches of red scattering his neck and chest. It was odd to see him so rosy when he was always so golden. The only thing that was gold now, was his throbbing member in your hand. The crests ran along your palm as you moved, and bravely you curled your thumb over the slit of the tip, dampening the pad with the clear substance that continued to leak from it. He jerked his hips once more, a groan leaving him. It didn’t sound human. You repeated. Every time your fist hit the head you circled what you now understood as the most sensitive part of him.

You knew he couldn’t take anymore when one of his hands gripped around your wrist, panicking, blurting your name to get you to stop. However, you didn’t. This sensation was new to him, overwhelming. He had no idea what was happening, probably scared, but you knew. You knewhe was close. His stomach clenched as he writhed around. It only took two more runs of your palm, and then he was stilling, a quiet, drawn out moan leaving his throat.

His length convulsed, and you looked down in time to see the spurts of white stain his abdomen, rising up and down with his pants. It speckled across his golden scales, painted him even more beautiful. You let go of him immediately, throwing yourself into his arms.

“Oh, oh.” He was still out of breath, trembling as he wrapped his arms around your body, kissing you messily. “I love you.” His chest heaved, and he sounded drunk. You couldn’t help but giggle as you pulled away to peek at him. He looked sinful, spread naked in front of your feasting eyes, not a care in the world now that a part of his soul had left his body, manhood growing slightly limp against his stained stomach.

“We need something to clean you up with,” you continued to giggle, aware your cheeks were practically burning, unable to stop soaking in the view.

“Use my shirt,” he muttered, dazed.

“Your shirt?” You exclaimed, putting a hand to your mouth when you realised how loud you’d been. You both needed to remember you weren’t alone in this house. You couldn’t get found out.

“Mhm.” He confirmed. “I’ll wash it in the lake tomorrow.”

You laughed again in disbelief, but obeyed, finding the garment in a heap at the end of the bed. You straddled him again, sopping up the arousal on his body. He helped you, capturing your lips with his in the process and soon enough you were distracted. You felt him drop the shirt to the floor as his tongue delicately opened your mouth, arms winding around your waist.

“Do you want to stop?” You wondered out loud, breathless and trembling. Your body longed for some relief, but you did not want to be unfair. He could be near exhaustion now.

“No,” he exclaimed, coughing to clear his throat. “Not at all.” He gripped your hips as you sat on his stomach, a light shining in his eyes. He was almost like an excited puppy. “I want this night to last forever.”

You smiled at that, touched by his words and wholeheartedly agreeing. Ever so lightly, you felt his fingers trace the waistband of your underwear, lids turning heavy as he cast his gaze upwards to your face. His voice was low when he spoke again. A request. “Please let me see you.”

In all honesty, you had forgotten you were still clothed where your need burned the hardest, and you moved quickly, kneeling higher to drag the cotton down each leg until you were just as bare as him. You looked down at him with heavy eyes, slightly shy, but only because he was studying you with such intensity.

He traced your hip bone with his finger, voice but a breath. “You are stunning, my love.” My love. His love. That was correct. You were his and he was yours. You leaned over his torso, needing to kiss him again, to feel his warmth. He cupped your face, pushing your hair behind your ear.

“All my wildest dreams don’t even…” He trailed off when your lips met, kissing you slowly. You moved closer, between your legs brushing against the smooth, gold beauty that laid between his. You couldn’t help the groan that fell from you both. Pleasure burst from every nerve in your body.

“Does that feel good?” Seokjin wondered, pulling back to cup both flushed cheeks now.

“Y-yes,” you sighed, moving your hips again. He kissed your nose as you moaned, his breathing becoming shallow again. He grew harder again as you slid over each crest, growing hotter, more sensitive, until he was surely ready for more. Your arousal felt heavy between your legs, sticking to him, greedy for his touch.

“Seokjin… I want you,” you uttered, mouth parted in pants. You clung on to his chest. “I needyou.”

“Please.” He agreed.

You lifted on your knees again, hand shaking as you gripped his member. You were nervous, but your body was acting on its own accord. Instinct.You hovered above the tip, letting him settle against your opening. “A-are you sure?” He asked, worried, holding your hips. You were aroused greatly but pushing down on him was intimidating. You struggled, feeling a little foolish.

You silently give up, needing a moment. Your heart was beating so fast. Moving back to crouch down, you dropped his length to kiss your way across his hip, catching the golden scales with each peck. You took deep breaths, calming yourself.

“Let me…Let me help you,” he suggested, curling his hands around your waist to flip your back to the mattress. “Come here,” he whispered, bending over your bottom half. “I want to touch you…feel you…kiss you…”

When two of his fingers brushed carefully over your folds, you felt a flutter travel up your stomach and a pulse down below. You bucked into him, overcome by not only his words, but his actions. He repeated, spreading your left leg by the inside of your thigh to gaze upon you even more.

“Seokjin,” you breathed, staring down at him.

“You’re beautiful.” He praised. “Can I kiss you?”

He was not talking about your lips. Or maybe he was…just a different kind. You nodded quickly, afraid to even breathe as you watched him descend. His tongue was delicate, laving against the soft flesh hesitantly. This was all new to him, but you could tell he was desperate to make you feel good. His eyes closed tight, face burying between your legs as the tip of his tongue dug between your folds, catching on a spot that had you moaning sweetly, spreading your legs shamelessly. He froze, experimentally repeating the curl of his tongue. It had the same effect, an arm reaching out to entangle your fingers in his locks. He moaned against you, sending a rumble up your pelvis.

You had explored your own body before. Most of the time after Seokjin had left you in a hot and bothered state, cheeks red, out of breath, thighs trembling, but it did not feel anything like this. His sweet tongue was a divine state of being, coaxing your tense, nervous body, and with a few more laps of his wet muscle, your moans grew more persistent. You remembered to keep the volume down, but it was impossible to stay silent altogether. Seokjin worked you until you were trembling underneath him, squirming in his hold, a pleasure settling deep inside the pit of your stomach and staying there, glowing.

He pulled away when he realised you were growing sensitive, lips shimmering with your arousal. He looked absolutely stunning. “You sound so… It is driving me crazy.” He laughed with a trembling voice.

Sated, but still greedy, you smiled at him, breasts heaving slightly with your chest, and you ran your hand down your stomach, hooking your finger under Seokjin’s chin. “Do you think I’m ready…?”

“We can try…” He murmured. “Should I see…?” He trailed off, one of his fingers circling your entrance carefully. You could hear yourself, sticky as you coated the pad, and you fidgeted, wanting more. On cue, he slipped the digit inside you. Your velvet walls squeezed around the intrusion, but it was in a desperate need, locking him in placed. He explored you a little, dragging and rubbing inside you, trying to stretch you for what was to come.

“You feel so soft.” He told you, reluctantly pulling out. “Do you want to try, my love?” You nodded almost feverishly, gripping onto his shoulders as he crawled over your body. You spread your legs, letting him nestle inside them as he kissed your forehead and down your nose.

When he reached your mouth, he stopped to pull away. “Are you sure? Tell me right now if not.” He rubbed your nose with his lovingly. “We can stop… I know… I know this isn’t what you were expecting…”

You clutched his face in your hands. “It is better.” You promised. “Better than what I could have ever imagined.” Tonight was perfect. You were so lucky, and so happy. “I want you so much.” You whispered, mouth tugging at his bottom lip. You rolled your hips upward, brushing against his length. “So much it hurts.” His breath caught, surprised by your brazen words. “Please…”

“When you beg like that it is impossible to even think of saying no,” he chuckled under his breath, voice strained as he held himself up by the palms of his hands.

You dragged your tongue along his, too far gone. You were speaking without thinking, so needy for his love. “Want to feel you inside me.”

He shook, voice just the same as he whispered in your ear. “Sinful.”

“Love cannot be sin,” you shook your head, and he pulled back to watch you with a small smile.

“You are right.” He agreed, caressing your cheek before he glided the hand down your body; down your cleavage, to your navel, goosebumps erupting all over you. You heard him grip his member in his fist, rubbing it ever so carefully up and down your swollen folds. “I want to be one with you.” He confessed sweetly, and you braced yourself, blood rushing in your eardrums.

“Alright?” He murmured. Reassurance as he found your entrance and began to push inside. You nodded your head, strands of his hair that dangled down tickling your forehead. “Slowly…” He followed his own advice, opening you up bit by bit, until he stopped at the first ridge.

Like this you felt no pain, and you gripped his hips. “Keep going.” You whispered, watching his face almost mesmerised. The veins in his neck bulged, visibly holding his breath as he struggled with his pacing. You could tell the sensation was overwhelming for him, his eyes glassy. As your flesh stretched over the first golden crest, you felt the burn, instantly fuller, and you dug your nails into his skin, overcome. It happened two more times, popping over the final ridges until he hit the bulge at the base, your vagina unable to strain that much right now. You both gasped upon the sensation, mouths open, eyes wide as you stared at one another in disbelief.

“Can we stay like this for a little while?” You asked, slightly panting for breath as you kept painfully still. There was not so much pain, just a dull burning as your skin tightened around him. He nodded his head, speechless himself, and reached for your mouth, kissing you as best he could. His arms trembled and he moved to rest on his elbows, caressing your face with his fingers.

“I love you,” he told you through sweet sighs, careful to hold his body weight up, not to crush you or add excess pressure between your bodies.

“I love you too.” So much. It felt like you were floating this time. Staying afloat because you had Seokjin. You had his love. You were one. Connected like no other way, and you wanted to stay like this forever. Safe in his embrace.

“You feel so soft,” he choked, unable to keep still a moment longer as his knees buckled. He pulled back, and you couldn’t help but moan out, pleasure hurtling through your body.  

“Yes, do that again,” you begged, wrapping your arms around his neck now, holding him close. He moved forward, repeating his action until he was shallowly thrusting into your warmth. “Seokjin…” You breathed, fluttering your eyes closed.

“You feel so good. So warm. My head may explode,” he whimpered, driving a little faster in to you, and that’s when you felt it, the stretch as his bulge steadily pushed inside you. You were now more aroused than ever, and greedily, you took him all.

Seokjin’s hips stuttered, head flying back as he buried deep inside your velvet walls, but you rutted upwards, desperately trying to keep him moving. It felt so good, and you wanted to feel the drag of all his crests as he thrust inside you. The bed frame creaked again as he laid over your body, the warmth encasing you, and you clung to him tightly, moaning loudly.

“Shush,” he strained, because it seemed he wanted nothing more than to join you. “We mustn’t wake my parents up.”

You agreed, from then on trying your best to stay silent. You’d gnaw at your bottom lip if needed. He buried his face in your neck as he continued to furiously make love to you, both of your bodies glistening with sweat, sliding against one another. Breathing laboured, the occasional groan, and the sounds of your arousal as he slid in and out of you filled his bedroom. It was a masterpiece. Beautiful.

Your right hand found his hip, tracing the patterns his scales made. You would never get enough of touching him. He pulled his head back, watching you with unfocused eyes. “S-seok…” You trailed off, unable to continue, panting loudly. You wanted to tell him he was gorgeous. Strands of hair stuck to his forehead, the sheen of sweat on his face twinkling in the flamed light, his brows furrowed as his thrusts grew weaker, sloppier. Your heart swelled inside your chest. Filled with so much love you didn’t know what to do.

“I’m going…” He tried, shaking his head. “Again—!” You knew what was coming, the tell-tale signs right there, but this time as he orgasmed, he captured your lips in his, sheathing his gold as deep as it would get, filling you with the hot warmth you knew from earlier.

He stayed like, buried inside your warmth, growing partly limp as you both caught your breath like you’d been drowning moments earlier. You wrapped your arms around his waist, holding him tightly, inhaling his scent, melting into his skin.

You found one another’s mouths again, his hands cupping your jaw as he kissed you hard. This time was different though, there was no urge behind it, no desperation, just a need that lived inside him. A need to show you how much he loved you. Pulling away with a gasp, he clutched your face harder. “I love you—I love you. So—much.” Another kiss to your mouth. He didn’t give you time to reciprocate.

“I want you forever.” He gushed. “Marry me.” More kisses, but this time you were too stunned to even try and kiss back. He broke apart, murmuring softly now. “Marry me…”

“Are you sure?” You found your voice. Quiet and full of disbelief. This was your wildest dream. Marrying Seokjin. Your happy ending. Something that seemed impossible before finding yourself in Helios. Impossible until you met the love of your life…

“I’ve never been surer of anything, my love. I will love you for my entire life.” He professed, and you giggled, happiness swelling inside your chest. You kissed him like your life depended on it, until he was desperate to know the answer. “Yes?” He gasped, breaking apart.

“Of course it’s a yes,” you nodded wildly, running your fingers through his hair, before pressing his forehead against yours. He grinned harder than you’d ever seen.

“I love you, Seokjin. Forever.” 

[queenmorgawse]

i am in the birds that sing (i am in each lovely thing)

THIS FIC HAS SPOILERS FOR CHAPTERS 123-124 OF TGCF. as a disclaimer, though, i'm only caught up with suika's translation, so i don't know how these two actually end up. pls don't spoil me!! content warnings : suicidal thoughts / ....suicide equivalent? think what mo xuanyu pulled in mdzs canon. nothing graphic, but it's not lightly implied either. please take care! here's some soundtrack, if reading with music is your thing.  read on ao3 + end notes.

He Xuan,

This is a graceless beginning to a graceless letter, isn’t it? Of course, it hardly matters. I wish for you to never read this at all, so you can remain as happy as you can be. I don’t even know if this will survive my endeavor. If it has, and if you’re reading it, I urge you to fold it again and burn it. It will bring you no joy.

Why write the letter at all, then? The truth is, I am awfully lonely, these days, and this is hardly something I can simply tell my neighbour when I invite her over for tea. She’s a sweet young woman. I hope she fares well after this. I’ll have to ask her to leave the pinwheels where they are, and see that they don’t get blown away.

I keep getting lost in thoughts, but again, it doesn’t matter. All I have to waste is paper and time, and though I’ve spent much of one already, I shall not run out of the other before I am done.

I suppose I just want to clear my head and go...wherever I am going serenely, without dragging a heavy heart behind. I am also selfish in that special way humans are, and want to cling to the possibility, as infinitesimal as it is, that someone somewhere will know of me.

To the core of the problem, then ⎯ or, actually, the core of the solution.

I have a little divinity left in me, you see. Oh, not much ; figuratively, barely enough to fill a teacup. It will not keep me immortal, or give me my spiritual devices back. Ultimately, it will not save me, so I thought I might devote it to something that will be worth it.

I’ve been doing an awful ton of research. My brother attempted the impossible and, against all odds, succeeded. I made my best attempt at doing the same. There are many spells forbidden and forgotten to find, if one works with single-minded purpose.

I unearthed the one I wanted, after a while.

-

Shi Wudu’s sixth birthday goes by without a hitch. So does the year that follows it, and the next, and the next. He never presses his ear against his mother’s door, waiting with baited breath for a newborn’s first wail. There is no longer a nursery and no new cradle in the Shi family’s mansion.

When he leaves, stubbornly holding his head high as whispers and gossip surround him, what remains of his belongings tucked in the bag hanging at his shoulder, he leaves alone.

-

I thought of looking for a way to bring your family and fiancée back to life, at first. Then I realized that if they did, they would still be mortal, and your happiness would be fleeting. It was a great shame to lose them once ; it would have been a tragedy to watch them die again. I discarded that idea soon after I came up with it.

-

A group of children wades through the shallow current of the stream that runs like a silver ribbon around the town of Fu Gu. The boys rolled up their pants to their knees, the girls hiked up their skirts as high as they dared. They kick and splash water at each other, and the air rings with startled yelps and breathless laughter.

One of the girls latches onto the shoulders of the boy next to her and bears down with all her weight, dragging them both into the river. She bolts to her feet as fast as she can, expecting him to catch her and pull her back again, giggles and wrings water out of her soaked mess of a dress. Instead, he stares at her like he’s never seen her before, like she caught the sun shining high above them and set it into her smile.

Not for the first time, she is mesmerizing. For the first time, he is charmed.

-

When I found what I was looking for, it took me one year to translate it, then another to check it over again and practice. Aren’t arrays that must be drawn perfectly in a single line so very annoying? I had to make sure it worked.  

These are bold words from me, though. Even as I sit here, writing this, I do not know whether it will succeed. All I know is that I won’t be able to live with myself if I do not try.

-

Red robes rustle as the couple kneel and bow their heads before the family shrine.

There is no gold to line the bride’s veil, and the clothes themselves have been handed down three generations. But the joy ⎯ the joy they radiate changes everything. In that aspect, an emperor couldn’t dream of a lovelier wedding.

As is tradition, the bride and groom bow thrice : once to the heaven and the earth, once to the aging couples looking on with tears in their eyes, and once to each other. They rise to the sound of cheers, their hands still clasped in each other’s. The wedding party wishes them good luck, prosperity, healthy children, their words running together like songs.

Blessings come raining down on them, and the road ahead is endless.

-

Here is how it works : the only person who needs to disappear is me. The rest is all consequences, like ripples in a pond. Without me in the middle, there is no stone to be thrown, and the surface remains peaceful. There will be no newborn baby for a hungry spirit to latch on. My brother will never go to the lengths he did for someone who never existed to begin with.

You will have the life you should have had from the beginning, without knowing you ever suffered.

-

In a beautiful two-storied house, a young woman slumps against the bed frame, her face flushed, breathless but somehow glowing. The midwife hands her a small, wailing bundle. She takes it into her arms with infinite gentleness, cradling it to her chest.

The door opens. A young man in dark robes half runs, half flies into the room, a little girl on his heels. The child climbs onto the bed, babbling at her mother the entire time, while her husband leans over her, his gaze softening.

Three dark heads bend together, cooing at the newborn. The baby opens its eyes and chirps at them, small and soft. The mother starts to cry, while the girl whoops and claps until her father shushes her.

A few minutes later, another woman bursts into the room. Gege! she calls, then gasps. Oh, she’s so cute!

He Chunhua, they call the infant, for the spring flowers blooming outside the mother’s window.

-

It is a simple and elegant solution. The best I could come up with, anyway.

Don’t think I rushed headlong into this. I could have, as I rushed into many other messes ⎯ but I thought this time, neither ge nor you would be here to catch me if I fell, and so I proceeded as carefully as I knew how.

I made a list of everyone my disappearance might affect. Of course, my brother and yourself were the first. I used to be upset at this, but now, I am glad the other heavenly officials were never as fond of me as they claimed to be. Fewer ripples in the pond to mind.

I thought of all the prayers I answered over the years, the little demands and the big. But I trust that you, the version of He Xuan I never knew, are a good person, and that you will attend to your worshipers as I have to mine. Hopefully, you will also help His Highness in his time of need.

I suppose that with all this covered, there is not much more for me to say.

-

Three children tug each other by the hand. One is, to tell the truth, a teenager already ; the second doesn’t appear older than eleven or twelve, and the third is only a small boy, eight years old at most. The eldest leads them up the temple’s steps and into the semi-darkness.

There, the shadows are broken by thousands of candles lit by a steady stream of worshipers. Even now, as the dusky sky stretches into night, many still pray at the god’s feet. They ask for kind winds on their journeys, for good fortune for their businesses, for beneficial matches for their children. A hundred prayers rise into the sky, with the smoke of a hundred merits. All over the land, there are such temples, with such people sending the Lord Wind Master their wishes and hoping for his blessing.

The eldest sister lights an incense stick for each of her younger siblings. Together, they kneel among the other devotees.

Unlike the others, their prayers do not ask for anything. They tell the god about their mother, and how hard she’s been working lately. They talk about their grandmother, whose health has been improving a little with the death of winter, and about their grandfather, whose extraordinary resilience still has him running the family’s shop despite his old age. They talk about themselves, too ; how their education goes, the friends they’ve made, the life ahead of them.

It always ends the same way. Father, I hope you are doing well. We miss you very much.  

They will come back next week.

-

If you’ve read up until here, you have thoroughly disregarded the advice I’ve given in the first lines, and I must scold you for it. I understand, though. There are few things more tempting than the truth, once it has shown even a glimpse of itself. I hope this doesn’t upset you too much. You were in so much pain that first time ; even after all that has happened, I do not want to add to it, even in a lifetime where you will not remember.

Well, now you know. If this letter exists at all, that is. The person who wrote it was never here, so it is unlikely, but I cling to the childish hope that it will make it through somehow.

I don’t know what will happen to me. The ritual says very little, only that it goes against the rules of the world. I don’t know whether I will be able to enter the cycle of reincarnation again, or if it is forever barred to me.

What I said that day is true. I wanted to die then, and even now, I cannot bring myself to mind the idea. What changed since I left the island is that I decided I would rather not die in vain. If the letter survived, then at least one person in the world will remember my name. I’m quite happy with that.

I hope it doesn't hurt. I hope it feels just like falling asleep.

I want to say more, I really do. But, He Xuan, if you have read this to the end, I don’t want to burden you with anything you might feel towards the shadow of a ghost, be it hatred, or guilt, or (dare I hope) gratefulness.

Once again, I am sorry. The wrongs of this lifetime will never appear in yours, but I will remember them all the same. I cannot bring myself to forgive that version of you for what you did, no more than I can forgive myself for what I took part in.

It is all right, though. There will soon be a blank slate, a world in which neither of these things happened, and we are happy ⎯ or at least, at peace.

Just know that even though you might think I have done much for a stranger’s sake, you were the furthest thing from a stranger to me.

With hope once again,

Shi Qingxuan

-

In the middle of a convoluted array stands a forgotten god. Blood drips down their fingertips as they bend down to complete the circle with a swift, decisive stroke.

The dawn explodes into shards of light.

When the dust settles, the field is almost empty. A gentle spring breeze blows across neat rows of pinwheels.

All is quiet, and all is new.

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

SV ch.55

Okay I’m nervous. 

Looking at the style of murals to the sides of the corridor, there was a strong yin ambiance, and it was clear to see this was Luo Binghe’s headquarters in the Demon Realm.

But I am totally not panicking.

EDIT:

The two both had nothing to say, not giving each other a sideways glance. One in front and one behind, their footsteps made no breath of sound. The atmosphere was stiff and cold.

This is the definition of PAIN. I need some bingqiu communication right now

EDIT 2:

Pushing open the door and entering, the furnishings and arrangement of the room were quite familiar-looking. In fact, it was quite similar to the bamboo house on Qing Jing Peak.

Omg. OMG. So let me get this straight. Lbh spent years mourning his Shizun, keeping the wounds he had left him, keeping sqq's broken sword, keeping his freaking corpse and (now we find out) making a room similar to the one in the bamboo house-

This is borderline obsession and yet my heart aches for lbh so much i just... PLS Shizun. PLS.

EDIT 3:

Now acting like a miserable child and throwing tantrums, making his heart overflow with sympathy. Now again hitting his face and telling him it was all an act. Real or fake, his eyes weren’t sharp enough to clearly see autumn feathers and see through Luo Binghe’s heart to understand what he was really thinking, some parts truth and some parts hypocrisy.

(Guys, sqq is angry because lbh put on a facade in the dreamscape. He is angry and disappointed and wary of lbh possibly using the same "trick" on him again and again just to move sqq's heart. I honestly thought Shizun had understood by now.

Like, okay, lbh tricked him the second time to see if that was really Shizun or just a figment of his imagination, but can you blame him?? You have been dead for years, sqq!! He probably went insane with pain, has always been in love with you when in his eyes you betrayed him by pushing him into the abyss, come on! If you two would just fucking talk-)

While he was still brooding over these thoughts, Luo Binghe walked a step closer to him.

(A n X i E t Y)

EDIT 4: here is an exemplar of Shizun using a series of excuses to keep himself rooted in place and not back down in front of an advancing lbh. Still, he is a mess inside.

BRAVE SHIZUN.

But he was still inevitably tense, his heart stretched taut as a bowstring, his eyelids jumping and fingertips curled.

How was Luo Binghe so perceptive? He advanced another step.

“Shizun, what do you think I’m going to do to you?”

(o m g. Omg o can't feel my legs-) 　

Shen Qingqiu said sincerely, “I cannot guess.”

EDIT 5:

Luo Binghe reached out his right hand. Shen Qingqiu didn’t make a sound or movement, but his gaze couldn’t help but stick to his fingertips, following them as they reached out.

(I AM TOTALLY HYPERVENTILATING RN)

That hand was neat and slender. It didn’t look like the hand of a Demon Race young master who had already taken countless lives, but rather one which was born to pluck strings, a hand to burn incense and bathe in snow. It slid shyly over his cheek, faintly brushing his skin.

(OKAY SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL AN AMBULANCE R I G H T T H E F U CK N O W 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK MY HEART BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST AND MY LUNGS CONSTRICTING LIKE THIS IS NORMAL?

LBH IS ToUcHiNg Shizun's cheek-)

And then it landed on his throat.

*chokes*

Lbh no- *whispers*

EDIT 6: I died, like, for 5 minutes before gathering the courage to go on. And BLESS GOD I DID BECAUSE

Luo Binghe retracted his hand. The next time he opened his mouth, it was impossible to tell if he was happy, angry, sorrowful, or joyful. “My blood, it’s not responding to my beckoning.”

AAAAHAHSNJXUDKEHXKE DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHY, BINGHE? YOU SEE, IT'S A FUNNY STORY. IT INVOLVES A SNAKE-MAN, MAIDEN SHIZUN AND MANY WOMEN-

EDIT 7:

Luo Binghe said, “It looks like in these short few days, Shizun has had another fortuitous meeting.”　

Shen Qingqiu said, “Well, what can you do about it? Make me drink it again?”　

Luo Binghe said, “You’ll run if you drink it, you’ll run if you don’t, both options are the same. I had better not make Shizun add another layer of loathing for me in his heart.”

(OKAY NO. N O. I'm not good with tension. I can't bear it. So pls stop and no one will get hurt, okay?)

Luo Binghe fixed his gaze on him for a time, then said, “Is there anything you desire?”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Anything is acceptable?”

Luo Binghe nodded. A sudden malicious sentiment arising from his gut, Shen Qingqiu bluntly said, “I want to see you as little as possible. Best if I never see you at all.”

(WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

NO

THIS IS WRONG, WHAT NOVEL IS THIS, WHAT THE FUCK FUCKITY FUCK

NO

okay it's a joke, right? Ah ah ah ah funny, now stop this. When I said I desperately wanted these two to meet, i meant to pray for FLUFF. NOT THIS. THIS. WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS.

MY HEART IS BREAKING? DO I DESERVE IT, AFTER PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THEM TO MEET? I dOn'T fUcKiNg ThInK sO, so freaking solve this-)

Luo Binghe looked like he never expected Shen Qingqiu to make this sort of request, his face paling.

(SHIZUN YOU WERE MORE CLUER THEN A FREAKING DEMONIC LORD. HUG HIM. HuG hIm Or I sWeAr-)

If you are hearing something, IT'S ME SCREAMING LIKE A MADWOMAN. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.

EDIT 8: thank you, system, your presence always makes my anger cool off. I love reading Shizun talk to it, it reminds me this novel is too good to be true, an yet it exists. Bless.

With a ringing notification sound, the System quietly began to download the upgrade package. Shen Qingqiu had a sudden thought and asked, “Right, what is the name of this feature upgrade?”

The System: 【Small Scenario Pusher Luxury Edition.】

SEE SEE I LOVE THE SYSTEM, IT ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT TO DO. NOT ONLY THE SMALL SCENARIO PUSHER IS BACK, IT CAME IN A L U X U R Y EDITION.

Let's go bring down those heartbreak points now

EDIT 9:

With many official duties to attend to, perhaps unable to extricate himself, all along he had not shown his face.

…or maybe that day, his glass heart had been shattered by Shen Qingqiu’s harsh words, and he didn’t dare to appear.　

Shen Qingqiu tore his thoughts away from that latter path with great difficulty.

IS THAT REGRET, SHIZUN? IS IT? I S I T? System, pls summon me and let me go hug lbh or else I'll cry

EDIT 10:

Furthermore, Luo Binghe didn’t act like the characters in the books his younger sister liked to read in his previous life and shackle him with chains, blindfolded and gagged, stripped and beaten. He might as well be content with whatever he has and make himself at home wherever he is.

(SY HAD A YOUNGER SISTER? DO YOU THINK SHE READ HARDCORE BL?)

Bull***t!　

For Shen Qingqiu to attempt to comfort himself with these words, there must be sh*t in his brains! He wasn’t some sort of Stockholm syndrome patient, feeling deep gratitude for being fattened in captivity. Don’t you understand, you need to bring about a fortunate lifestyle yourself, not by relying on others’ charity?!

(You're right, Shizun, of course. That's why there is a pretty simple solution- TALK TO LBH WITHOUT ACCUSING HIM, TRY TO UNDERSTAND. WOULD YOU?)

EDIT 11: this chapter is playing with my patience. Bamboo does not grow in the Demon Realm, but lbh ordered for ppl to find a way. Shizun FLIRTED WITH A MAID ASKING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT BUT THAT BOWL WAS PREPARED BY LBH, BECAUSE IT HAS THE SAME TASTE AND NO ONE EATS HUMAN FOOD THERE AND IT BREAKS MY HEART AND I JUST CAN'T OKAY I AM CRYING STOP THIS SHIT

EDIT 12: sqh is here!

OH. SO HE SOLD SHIZUN OUT. OH, okay. I don't know if I should hate him or congratulate him, I never know if I should consider the events from the point of view of a reader or a writer, me being both (I mean, like, I occasionally write, so I know sometimes one makes characters do strange, despicable things, not like I am a super pro write didn't want to sound pretentious, eh eh), so I'm like "what the fucking hell sqh, what about friendship?" and "omg good job mxtx, this character is so interesting, what even is moral ptf!"

And now

Lbh

Gave Xiu Ya sword back to Shizun. Let's add this to the increasingly long list of "things that show how much lbh cares for Shizun and make my heart crack"

EDIT 13:

On the other side, Shang Qinghua laughed nervously and rubbed his hands, clicking his tongue and saying, “Aiyah, I really, really never thought… the storyline would bend so far out of shape. Remarkable, really remarkable.”

Shen Qingqiu: “The stallion novel protagonist you wrote turned into a cut-sleeve, shouldn’t you be angry?”

Shang Qinghua said sincerely, “It doesn’t matter. Either way, the one he fell for wasn’t me.”

(there, see? I love him.)

Shen Qingqiu gave him a cordial middle finger, lowering his head to polish his sword. Shang Qinghua gave him a thumbs-up. “Really, you don’t need to be so pessimistic. You have good prospects for the future, quite good prospects. These golden thighs, they’re strong, reliable!”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Take your ****ing golden thighs. If I have to hug those thighs, where do you think they’ll take me? Between the legs!”

Shang Qinghua: “Between the legs is even better, ah. Between the legs is a man’s most important place.”

(OMG OMG THIS turning out too good I'm having too much fun!!

Sqh surely is a man of wisdom. BLESS HIM.)

EDIT 14: okay plot, PLOT.

“…” At long last Shen Qingqiu knew the true origin of all those plot holes. “So you just went to write the harem plotline, and might as well leave the more serious Bing-ge’s dad plotline full of holes?”

(So the big final boss should have been lbh's dad? FATHER-IN-LAW IS REALLY GONNA SHOW UP IF SHIZUN FILLS THE HOLES? I AM SO SO S O O O O FREAKING EXCITED.

But I am honestly scared, 'cause this means whatever sqh's previous plan for the novel were, they may still happen. That means everyone is potentially in danger, if the danger is not lbh.)

EDIT 15: SQH WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING USEFUL ABOUT HOW HE WANTED TO BUILD SQQ'S CHARACTER AND THEN WHAT?

Lbh comes.

Like, I love you baby, but-

Luo Binghe’s eyelashes drooped. After standing for a bit, it seemed he had come to a major decision. He said stiffly, “Even though those earlier events happened in a dream realm, I took advantage of Shizun. But the feelings I revealed to you then, those were not false.”

(GOOD BABY. G O O D. Let it sink, let Shizun understand how much you care.l

EDIT 16: lbh is trying to finally, finally let Shizun understand how he felt and why he did what he did and I'm so glad he is trying. I get why these two would need to learn how to trust one another all over again, that is totally okay, it's fine if they need to guard their feelings for a while before settling this problem, so reading about them talking, about lbh trying to reach Shizun fills me with hope.

His face gradually settled into a gloomy expression from his sneer. Drawing closer the distance between the two, he said, “But what if I said, that towards Shizun, I only remember, not hate, most likely I wouldn’t be believed.”

SEE. SEE.

[starryseo]

lazy day with minho

Chan | Woojin | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

i was meant to write this ages ago but now it’s lowkey for @mindieu bc i felt bad about my last fic lmao. hope you like this tayla!!!

ok so we all know about minho’s antics when he’s energetic

but when he’s lazy??

he’s on a whole new level of Ultimate Tease

he gets a kick out of annoying ppl and that’s all he ever does to you!!!

if he wakes up before you, he won’t  s t o p  poking you until you wake up

and ofc you’re gonna be all grumpy like ??? why would you wake me up

and he just says “bc i was bored :)))” and he starts giving lil’ kisses all over your face as tho that makes up for it??

it does but whatever

if you wake up before him, obviously you’re gonna start poking him and pinching his cheeks (gently ofc)

bc revenge is sweet :’)

and he’ll be  h e l l a  grumpy, eyes barely open but glaring at you

and he’s trying really hard to be mad at you but you’ve got the stupidest grin on your face bc he looks like a child pouting rn and it’s so cute

and he just rolls his eyes, giving up his whole acting angry act and he pecks your lips before trying to sleep again

the day is filled w minho not letting go of you tho!!!

which is great because he’s a really intimate and affectionate person

even if the boys are there

especially if the boys are there

he knows pda is the best way to get them to yeet outta the room

so like if changbin is in the room, watching tv

and minho’s on the sofa

he’ll call you over and drag you onto his lap

and he’ll press so. many. kisses against your neck

and you’re squirming like “babe dude??? changbin’s right there”

and minho the lil’ shit is just like “not for long ;)”

and like 2 secs later changbin is getting up, cussing minho under his breath as he leaves the room

and literally 5 seconds later once he’s done kissing you he’ll stand you both up like

“i’m tired let’s go to bed”

and you’re like ???? why’d you kick changbin out of here if you wanna leave now??

and he just smirks like wtf does that even mean

he’ll drag you into his room and you’ll lay down, facing him

and it’s really quiet, you’re just looking off into his eyes

fr they’re so pretty and his lashes are so long why did god bless him like this

and he’s just daydreaming, running his fingers through your hair until his fingers lightly trail down the side of your neck

and he’s doing this so slowly, chills run down you and he  s m i r k s  bc he knows what kind of effect he has on you

to fill the silence, he’ll ask you how your day is

and he’ll still be tracing shapes over your body (up and down your arms, on your hip, wherever he can reach basically)

until his hand lands back in your hair

and he just pulls your head closer

giving you a quick kiss before you part

and then he brings you in again

but this time

oh man this time

he’s still lazy lmao

but it’s just so much more passionate??

he’s snaked his other arm underneath you

and he wraps it around your waist to pull you closer

to the point where there’s not even a gap of air between you

and he’s still kissing you, eyes shut in complete bliss but you can feel his lips tilt up into a smile

a smile!!! not a smirk!!!!

and when you break away he’s blushingggg and he looks so cute in that moment

eyes slightly hazy w love and fatigue

panting really quietly

lips slightly swollen and red

ashfkashkfjaskf kill me omg

and then he pulls you in for one final kiss, not as long but just as loving

and as he pulls away, you can hear him whisper a soft “i love you”

before he presses another kiss to your forehead

and then he nestles his face in the crook of your neck

constantly giving it little kisses until he eventually slows down, stopping when he’s fallen asleep and all you can hear is him softly breathing

so!!!

lazy days with minho are the greatest!! i almost wrote greasiest lmfao

because 1) they’re w minho!!!!!

and 2) even tho he’s such! a! tease!

(always pulling you to him even if you’re like babe i wanna get water

“you dont need water you only need my love”)

he showers you with so much love!!!!!

and 3) k i s s e s

man he’s a great kisser but when he’s lazy there’s just smth?? about them??

like the way they’re slow but so passionate

and he transitions between being so soft and calm to getting you out of breath so easily

so y’know lazy days with minho are beautiful thank you for coming to my ted talk :)

hope you liked this bc lmaooooo i cannot do soft writing for shizzle omg could u feel how awkward that kiss scene was lmfao why am i like this :))))

another reminder that i’ll be changing to starryseo!!!! i’ll be posting a johnny fic tmrw and then i’ll be changing the name so pls watch out for that!!! i’ll make a post abt it closer to when i change it but this is a heads-up!! :’)

[muiiitos-arc]

🌻 + mayyyybe my url? and also 🌻 pls someone else of your choice that you think deserves love!!

isadora, my god i absolutely love you to bits and pieces ! we started writing together first on my other blog, and your other blog, and i absolutely fell in love with your writing ! you are astounding and always blow me away, and i feel that tenfold now that i have had the pleasure of getting to know you better and writing with you more. you are the best. all around. thank you for always being there for me when i need someone, and spreading light and positivity wherever you go. ily my friend !

and since you’re a sweetheart and suggested i do this for another person, this portion will be for @lessersinned :

my sweet darling friend, i have known you for so long, and i am so fortunate ! you are one of my best friends on the entire planet, and are an absolutely phenomenal writer. you always go above and beyond for all of your friends, and you have a heart of gold. i am so fortunate to have you in my life in all the ways, and so fortunate to write with you. never change, my angel. you truly are a blessing to this world. 

send 🌻 + a url & i’ll write positivity  them !! //  @fencetm & @lessersinned

[wanna1things]

Prince!Ren AU

this was such a GOOD look for ren please bring this back amen thank u

Genre;; royal!au ++prince!au fluff uhhhh aka my fave

Warnings;; none,, i mean not that i know of??? It’s pure fluff?? maybe a tiny bit angsty idk but if u dont like boys who can’t cook dont read??

Pairing;; Choi Minki/Ren x reader

Requested;; yes (by anon)

Summary;; Ren is a prince who has moved to your country to study to be a King, and he happens to be your neighbour. Things don’t go too smoothly when you find out his identity...

Style;; bullet point + stuff

Word Count; 2530

AHHH i love royal aus so expect this to be;; long and detailed;; because i also stan minki,,, and he is already a prince,, coming up with a plot for this wasnt hard lmfaoooo;; i got my big ass 2litre bottle of water ready its 1am and its WRITING TIME

Ren was born into the royal family of a small country in East Asia

He was originally second in line until his brother Minseok gave up his right to the throne so he achieve his dream (that didn't involve being king lmao;;)

So little 8 year-old Minki is now thrust into the spotlight

Up until this point he’s had like;; no training on how to be a King

So he decides when he gets to his twenties he’ll go abroad to study politics and languages and stuff

So he can still be a good king when the time comes;;

But he doesn’t want to be treated like a prince wherever he goes so,, he instead decided to go by his real name rather than his royal name when he’s abroad (which less people know)

(okay it is a thing like prince harry’s name is actually henry FUN FACT)

But he’s super talented like;; he has a way with words and he’s really popular in his country

Because not only is he really beautiful but he’s also amazingly funny with a great personality

Like I mean it when I say he could probably make friends with a brick wall

He’s a little;; weird;; but it just makes him even more loveable sdjhfgjsd

He’s honestly treasured by his country because he just seems like a normal human he doesn’t try to act better than anyone else uh BLESS how kIND

ANYWAY

So the time comes for him to go;; and he chooses on going to your country!! (and your university what a coincidence am i right)

Now you’re just a lowly university student living in a block of flats not far from the campus

And it’s a nice block of flats but you’re on the 8th floor and the lift doesn’t work;; yikes

I mean at least you’re not on the 10th floor right??

So when you see someone moving into the flat next to your with boxes and boxes of stuff you are overcome with pity like;;; yeah you did that once before too

And you muster up the courage to go and help out this guy who is reALLY struggling with his suitcases

He nods a thank you as you pick up one of the suitcases and carry it up the last flight of stairs,, too tired to even speak (i feel u bro)

When you both reach the top he points out which room to take his bags to and guess what

He’s your new neighbour! (yay)

You help him put all the bags in his room and after about 3 minutes of trying to get all his breath back he manages to whisper a ‘thank you’ and offers you some tea

Obviously you take him up on the offer I mean you’re a uni student free sustenance is v good

BUT you have to go back to your room because;; well;; a welcome gift??

All you have in your room that's suitable are like candles and stuff but… don’t get me wrong but this guy doesn’t seem like the biggest fan of candles especially after walking up 8 flights of stairs

So you decide on giving him some of your sweet potatoes and a cute little keyring that your friend gave you that you’ve never used

It’s a little rabbit with a tiara on how ;; cute ;;

When you return to his apartment suddenly the shaggy looking guy who you helped carry his stuff up the stairs is now;; this beautiful man;;

Hes mid-way through making the tea when he notices you’ve returned

And he looks up and flashes you the cutest lil eye smile lol

Oh my god are they the same people even

He finishes making the tea and walks over to shake your hand

‘It's a pleasure to meet you!! I’m Choi Minki~’ he smiles, taking your hand in his

Shfsdhfjgshdjfh his hands are soft what (listen my fave hc is that minki has super super soft hands @ me on this gn)

‘Ahhh hi yes,, i’m y/n and i’m your neighbour!! I got you a present’

His face lights up when he sees the present sdfhdjhf

‘How did you know i love bunnies??’

You both sit down on the sofa in the middle of his flat surrounded by boxes

Drinking your tea and talking about life

You discover he’s attending the same university as you;; studying politics and modern languages

He’s like;; super smart but he doesn’t show it off at all??

But there’s something about his face that seems really familiar

Like as though you’ve seen him before but you don’t know where

So you just assume he reminds you of an old friend or something

As time passes you get really close

You walk with each other everyday to campus and back, you tell each other absolutely everything and you even cook for one another on alternate nights

One night when it was Minki’s turn to cook he was making some food from his home country;; cold spicy noodles (i love those pls omg)

And ahh he is not at all good at cooking but he tries hard so;; let’s let him off yeah

But he concentrates so hard but he genuinely just;; burns everything like idek how he does it don’t let minki cook;;

In the end he just;; gives up so you cook together!!

And as you’re quickly making a batch of pancakes together he decides yeah good time for a food fight

Proceeds to chuck flour all over you

And as he’s laughing at your pain you realise wow okay yeah his laugh is cute oh nOOOO you got a crush on your weird neighbour????

Obviously you ;; don’t make this known and eat your damn pancakes in peace

After chucking flour right back at Minki of course

Over the next few days he just suddenly stops coming into uni because;; he’s in a couple classes with you let’s just say you’re a politics student lol

You try knocking on his apartment door a couple times and nobody replies even when you call his name

You basically put 2 and 2 together

And make 5

And assume that he’s deliberately avoiding you because he realised your crush

In reality there’s been a minor problem in his country;; a law is being passed through government that’s quite controversial to do with like;; minority rights and stuff;; so he’s had to return to fight to get it passed and he didn’t really want to leave without saying anything but;; he also didn’t want to reveal who he was to the whole world

It’s a constitutional monarchy and democracy thing okay pls; i can’t explain political systems;

One night about a week after Minki’s sudden disappearance

You decide to turn on your tv because damn life is boring when you can’t go to Minki’s house and play snap lol

And on the news they’re talking about minki’s country bless where the spicy noodles come from

But the news report tells the story of this brave prince who is attempting to pass a law to protect the rights of the people of his country and wow this prince is a nice guy

And they show a clip of a press conference he held earlier on in the day

And

Wow

Okay

That prince looks suspiciously like your neighbour Minki???

Wait

THAT IS MINKI??!!

Minki = Prince Ren what the ??

Not long after this the law is passed and Minki returns back to his apartment next to yours and oh my god

You see him walking up to the entrance and you freak out again because

You have a crush on a prince???

He didn’t even tell you he was a prince???

What??? Is???? Going????? On??????

He comes and knocks on your door like usual and as you swing open the door he quickly pulls you into a hug

‘y/n!!! I missed you so much!!! I’m sorry for disappearing i had family stuff but I’m back now!!!’

And you just tense up a little because oh god this is a prince who basically lied to you for your friendship so far

‘Hello, Ren.’

Uh oh

You can feel Minki just tense up slightly and pull away from the tight hug

And he kind of just stands there awkwardly looking at the floor wondering what to say next because oh my god how did you find out

‘Y/n, please don’t treat me differently now you know who I am… I wanted to tell you I really did… How did you even find out?’

He looks into your eyes like he’s searching for something because uh oh the girl he’s liked for a while and the only girl who treats him like a normal human being is reallllllly pissed off with him and he,, doesn’t have any idea how to fix it

‘You were on the news, Minki. How long were you going to keep it from me? Were you even planning to tell me at all?’

‘Listen, I was going to but there was never a good time and honestly, I thought you wouldn’t want to be friends with a Prince?’

You just sigh heavily at his answer and go to slam the door in his face but he stops it with his foot and holds on to your wrist tightly

‘Please, y/n, can we talk properly?? I’ll make food.’

You take your hand off the door and stand back to let him into your flat and he immediately heads to the kitchen and pulls out a ramen packet

He starts to cook it all while you sit at the kitchen counter, watching him as he tries desperately to not burn everything sdjhfgsjdgh poor minki

He manages to,, kind of make it (well done minki)

And he places the bowl in front of you and sits down next to you in complete silence like ok this is getting a little awkward

So perk up the mood he just managed to cook without burning the whole block of apartments down

‘So, the prince can cook ramen but nothing else hm?’

He giggles slightly at your comment and nods

‘Yeah my parents always tease me about it too, especially since my brother is amazing at cooking’

He laughs again and picks up his chopsticks to shove in a whole load of ramen

So you finally turn to look at him and you notice his eyes are red and oh my god you made him cry??

Part of you is like yeah but listen he deserves it he lied to you for like 6 months

But then again;; it is understandable that he wouldn’t want everyone knowing he’s a prince

And it doessssss make you feel a little special that he didn’t want your relationship to change at all

So

You do what your heart tells you to do

And you pat his head and ruffle his hair a little

He looks comPLETELY BAFFLED LIKE,,, WHERE DID THIS COME FROM

But he smiles really wide and giggles again

‘Is this how you show your forgiveness?’

‘No way Minki, I want at least 5 more meals cooked by you before I can get over this’

And omg

He doesn’t get that you’re joking at first

And you just see this look of absolute terror go across his face like

Ohhhh no if he even tries to cook another meal the whole building is going up in flames like

Ramen was hard enough he had to keep checking the packaging every 5 seconds to make sure he was doing it right

Then he realises you’re joking

And he laughs because oh my god

What kind of gullible-

Sooo as time passes from here you get even closer

Some people suspect his identity but you vouch for him and say that ahh no he’s no prince lol i know he’s beautiful but nooo you’re mistaken

And minki is sooo thankful for you and you both just fall in love with each other even more compLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO EACH OTHER’S FEELINGS (idiots)

That is until one evening Minki announces out of the blue that he’s going back to his country

And he wants you to come with him

And you’re leaving tomorrow

He leaves you with a ‘pack quickly~~’

Like wow thanks for the suddenness of this i hAVE TO PACK EVERYTHING IN LIKE 3 HOURS

But you manage;; somehow

And you get on the flight and Minki is so damn nervous for some reason

Like is he scared of flying??

What??

So you hold his hand during the take off and landing just in case lol

Minki would never admit it but that made his heart race even more

As soon as you land he takes you straight to the palace and walks you into this big ballroom and asks the servants to call for his parents

And you just assume like ok yeah

He’s just introducing me to them as his friend from abroad thats cool

But when they turn up Minki suddenly stands up all stiff and proper which is like

Woah okay

And he kneels down before his mum and dad and starts to say something which is almost inaudible

‘Mother, Father, I have brought before you today the person I told you about, the one I am in love with. I intend to marry this person once the time is right but I thought you should meet them in person first. I am very sorry for rejecting the many royals you previously brought before me, but it is because of them that I felt I had to turn them down.’

Yo yo

Hold up a second

Minki??? Told his parents about you??

He is in love with you too okay what???

He turned down other royals because he liked you?? Okay wow

Shooketh

‘Please, let me introduce the light of my life, y/n’

Woah okay

You step forward to stand next to minki and oh my god his face is like a bright red it’s so cute

‘Your Majesties, it is a pleasure to meet you.’

You bow, curtsey whatever idk I’m not a royal person idk how this works

They smile and just say

‘Ahh, Minki you didn’t have to go to so much trouble!! We would’ve accepted pretty much anyone as long as you were happy!!’

And this look of relief washes over his face and he turns to you and grabs your hand, dragging you out of the room

You reach the palace gardens and you’re surrounded by cherry blossoms and roses

And he doesn’t let go of your hand but instead brings it to his lips and kisses it gently

‘I should’ve confessed to you first but I wanted to get this out of the way… In case you didn’t catch that, I am in love with you, y/n’

Ahhhhhhhhh

Heartbeat rises

‘You could’ve at least given me a hint! I almost had a heart attack!! But… yeah… uh… me too’

He giggles lightly and leans in to press his lips against yours

It’s a little cheesy but

It’s Minki what do you expect

And you couldn’t ask for anything better

DHSGJFHGSJDH I CANT DO A PROPER ENDING BECAUSE I’LL START BLUSHING SORRY;; i hope this is good lol ++ that yall enjoy it but it’s like time to sleep now here so goodnight!! other requests will be posted as soon as possible but i’m a little busy still so;;

[golclen-linings]

IWAOI FIC RECS

Only in order of when i read it, not how good it is or anything (bec they are all good in their own way) + a quote i like from the story !

 Lost in Translation - rageprufrock

How far away can we really be from one another?" "We're under the same sun and stars and moon, on this same planet. Wherever you are, I can come to you — wherever you go, you can still come back to me,

(Iwa as a uni student in America, Oikawa training in Argentina; its kinda sad but its funny + happy ending !!!) ((Also Iwa’s classmates are of diff nationalities which is nice !!))

old and new - mysecretfanmoments

Hajime tamped down on a sudden lance of something in his stomach. It wasn’t just him reacting strangely; Tooru was weirdly tentative as well, and it only worsened Hajime’s nervousness.

How were they supposed to interact now that their friendship wasn’t just a given? Before, it had made sense to be friends—but now only shared experience pulled them together, and neither of them was the same as before. What was keeping them together now?

“Sure,” he said, and waited for Tooru’s reaction. It was a barely-there thing, only a tiny shifting of posture under yellow kitchen light—but Hajime recognized it nonetheless.

It was relief.

(College iwaoi but they dont go to the same school !!! They r “just friends” who call each other nightly n miss each other a lot huhu . Cue Y E A R N I N G !! but they do something about it because thats their brand)

And I miss you (and I think that you miss me too) - memekonhq

unable to be contained anymore, and now it’s filling up everything, every empty little corner of the room.

(iwaoi go to diff colleges and oikawa gets hurt in a car crash but is alive dw no coma either GCS is ok ra HAHAHAH so yes this is them, once again, y e a r n i n g for each other but getting together)

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle - kittebasu

THERE R TOO MANY QUOTES!! I WANT TO QUOTE THE WHOLE STORY!!! I rly teared up in more than one scene,,,,, 

"What about tomorrow?" Tooru asks, his head falling to Hajime's shoulder as they start walking again, not wanting to waste the energy to hold it up. "Will you be here tomorrow?"

(i think that quote tho captures the mood!!!! just so much yearning,,,, like real yearning,,,,IT RLY HURT huhu mimiyuuuh it rly hurts,,,,,madam,,,,,,,,,,this is a gift from god truthfully,,,,,,,,,,,POETIC WRITING plsssss u needa be in a Mood reading this ngl u need brain to read dis just to appreciate)

Terrarium - sausaged

It is a snug fit for all his mosses, leaves, dirt, and rocks, but Tooru wouldn't have it any other way, since nothing can really quite contain all these things he feels for Iwaizumi— all the years of sorry's, thank you's, tears, and laughter— Tooru stuffs them all in this glass dome; transparent, full, and fragile.

(miss maam,,,this one,,,ugh,,,,CLENCH,,,LEVINE SIGN MADAME,,,,,,, levine sign) ((SPOILER when iwa proposes my eyes went out like ,,, buT he explains himself so its ok HAHAHA))

just hear me out - loveclouds

I don’t want your apologies. Only everything else. +

Perhaps Oikawa is simply an eternal season in Iwaizumi’s life.

(mam,,,,ohmygosh my hart,,,AAAAAAAAAAAAAA MADAM KANI JUD!!! KANI!!!!!!! IDK!! IDK HOW TO WORDS BUT MAM!!! MAM!!!! PLS. pls kani,,,kanIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) ((kani sad same author ajuju  1000 ways to die with you by loveclouds)) (((....kani sad  the finer points of balance by loveclouds))) ((((klaro na ba na if i like an author i will read all their works ufbjcds KANI SAD  no sleep in the city by loveclouds)))) ( salt water by loveclouds) ( count your blessings, it goes 1, 2, 3, me by loveclouds for sausaged hhhhHHHHH THIS ONEDAE)

going with me - fromthefarshore

He takes Oikawa's hand then and carefully brings it to the rabbit, brushing his fingers against the soft fur. The animal doesn't seem to be bothered by the touch, happily eating his food, and Oikawa's lips turn into a beam. Iwaizumi pulls his hand away, letting Oikawa stroke the rabbit on his own, and lets out a silent sigh.

(its SOFT n sweet n iwaoi and bunnies ajujuju)

it’sabout time we collided - frenchibi

Oikawa’s arm is loosely draped on Hajime’s hip, like he’s afraid to hold on too tightly, lest he scare Hajime off.

As if anything ever could.

(LOVE IS A CHOICE AND THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS GNA BE IWA CHAN I DONT MAKE THE RULES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I sure hope that guy gets fired by Xov

Hajime always knew Oikawa listened to him more than anyone else, but he never would have imagined he had any genuine sort of control over him. But here he was, able to control the very rhythm of his heart – the quickness of his breath with a simple touch, without Oikawa even being consciously aware of his reaction.

(MAAM iwa chan gets stuck in a time loop and ?? AND ITS ALWAUS GNA BE OIKAWA dats it dats d story huhuh)

ribcage garden by wordstruck

It’s funny and it’s not, how Tooru makes him feel so invincible on the court and so hesitant off of it.  (+ all of their iwaoi ficssssss sooososooso good)

[eludum-a]

500 follower follow forever!

it happened. god knows why so many of you are here, but apparently you like what i do, so... well, thank you! to everyone! but this is a very informal follow forever meant specifically for people i speak to regularly/people i consider my friends/people i feel i owe something to. i haven’t done anything like this since the 100 follower mark, so please bear with me. 

i felt like i needed to do this because, in the wise words of taako the wizard, “it doesn’t always have to be goof goof dildo. i’m traveling around with the boner squad and i never get to say... what i’m feeling! i have emotions!”

if you’re not here, please don’t feel like i don’t appreciate you! i only have the energy for so much love here in my body. if you’ve been inactive/are on hiatus, i might have missed you, and if we haven’t really talked a lot ooc, same thing applies.

(i have been working on this on and off for weeks. im so tired pls just let me be finished with it)

anyway, call outs below the cut!

@unsuspicious: cou, you send me so many baffling and strange images at all hours of the day. i had to lead up with this because where do you even get all those. anyway, you’re definitely the person i talk to the most every day, and it’s weird as shit to think that the last thing in tumblr messenger was me sending you the link to the discord channel. you’re a fantastic roleplayer when you actually roleplay and you’re fun to have around!

@hismalice: raz you are one of my favorite people on this god forsaken hell site and don’t ever forget that. if you need a reminder you can come back here and look at this and see this seal of approval, and also the mental image of me saying “no, fuck you” to your negative thoughts and then punching them in the face heaven slaying dragon fist style. if you ever wanna talk you know where to find me and it’s also ok if you don’t want to!! i’ll still be here regardless.

@cantalazarus: god bless the hinatatas, may they grow strong and powerful this year. amen. on a more real note: this is my official notice that i really appreciate you just... in general, as a person, even if im an asshole who has trouble with, like, Feelings and shit. so there’s that. same as with raz above, you obviously know where to find me whenever you wanna talk. and take as long as you need to recharge your batteries!! no rush

@mxssias: ALEX MY MAN... BOY... GUY! DUDE, PAL, WHATEVER. your naegi is LIT. i love the good good egg boy so much and you do him justice!! you don’t just focus on the lighter aspects of his character, but you recognize his various struggles as well! you’re also just a fun person to talk to and i’d love to do more naenami in the future of COURSE

@ayatsurii the sparkliest of cats! yo, sparkle, thank u for turning me on to pekonami because it’s so good and pure, and thank you also for trying to keep things from burning down in the chat when we get too rowdy (even if you’re not successful... we can’t be tamed). i look forward to future pekonami interactions!

@snappshot: sarah is wonderful at everything she does, sorry i dont make the rules. you’ve been around this blog for what feels like forever now?? first as mahiru (and your mahiru rly captured my heart) but also sayaka and kaede and your persona muses are equally wonderful! idk what i’d have done if you weren’t there to reassure me i was doing a good job. god bless sarah

@anemoia-avenoir / @ongakuvoices: rrrrrrrrIO! you’re lovely and you should know it. i know we don’t really talk much ooc but you definitely deserved a spot in here! your passion for your muses is incredible! your love for them shows in the details of your writing, and i know it can be frustrating sometimes to feel like you’re not good enough (believe me... i have been there many times), but believe me... you’re gonna do amazing things, i just know it.

@malchancevilain YOU STILL OWE ME 15 DOLLARS AND I AIM TO COLLECT, GREG GRIMALDIS. NO MATTER WHERE IN THE MULTIVERSE YOU ARE. ahem. we share a lot of common interests, watchy, and i really do love your luckgami, like, a lot. i love how different his background is without changing who he is fundamentally as a person, aka a snob

@shpionaz: *insert obligatory ‘like a boss’ joke here* ok now that we’ve gotten that over with,,, im so grateful i got a chance to play out the oumanami brotp interactions with you because that was on my wishlist almost as soon as i found out about their sprite similarities and we didn’t even have to try, it just happened. you’re first ouma in my heart forever and i can’t wait to do some things with your oc too!!

@gambogeish: it’s kind of ironic how i didn’t finish twewy until we became friends, when it was first gifted to me by my boyfriend... it’s probably just the difference in maturity/gaming ability from then to now, but ANYWAY: i am so glad to have met you. you’re one of the first people in the community i’ve really connected with, and you’re an awesome person who i’d love to roleplay with regardless of muse. i’ve got a virtual high five right here waiting for you. o/

@pseudxcode syd, god bless your chihiro, honestly. he’s such a sweet little guy and i love his interactions with chiaki! of course i’ve always been a fan of these two together (even when she’s NOT an AI created by him), because their talents complement each other so well! they’re good for each other. i’d love to see more chiaki & chihiro action, especially if it involves chiaki encouraging him and reassuring him that he’s not as weak as he thinks he is.

@kibcu / @krclowa we only recently started talking but you’re such a welcome addition to thotchat, liz! take that as you will. this one’s probably gonna be a bit short but im looking forward to platonic naenami interactions and ur sonia too! aunty nanami’s gonna babysit the hell out of those naegi kids (aka give them all smartphones and sit back and relax)

@synthxsizxr GOOD IDOL, BEST SISTER, AKI LOVES HER HARU even if she really doesnt understand the idol lifestyle like, at all. chi, you yourself are very sweet and kind, it’s wonderful having you here in this community! i hope you’re having a lot of fun with your talentswap chiaki and i hope 

@relixum / @lxckyclovers: i hope you two don’t mind that i put you together here. i know you’ve been busy with school lately (good luck with that, by the way!!) but i didn’t want you to think i forgot about you! you guys make a mom/dad/parental unit so proud. you’re wonderful writers and i hope you find happiness wherever you go. *bob belcher voice* you’re my family and i love you but you’re terrible, you’re all terrible.

@tcndcrloins levi you’re the other constant presence in thotchat and you’re such a fun person to have around. you’re so welcoming and comfortable in a sense that i never feel like i’m bothering you, and thats a pretty incredibly accomplishment considering how often i convince myself im annoying. get those drafts done, i believe in you!!

@delinqueon avery, you were probably the first person within the community i talked to one on one, and thank god you approached me because at that point i never would have had the courage to speak up! your leon is such a delight to interact with and so are your other characters. one day you’ll get me back for making you read the bee movie script out loud for fifteen minutes.... one day

@betraycd last but not least, first i have to thank fin for my current editing software that i still have yet to figure out even 10% of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but i’ll get there! fin, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i absolutely adore your souda, all of the time and effort you’ve put into his characterization and how you don’t ignore the uglier parts of his personality. he’s a lovely flawed boy and you really do him justice!

after word:

like any community with more than a few people, there have been ups and downs in the path few months. i wanted to add here as a general shout out that i have never felt so welcome and loved in a community that i originally would have thought would be more disjointed than what you might find on a forum. like, i’ve changed a lot thanks to you guys! i’ve been able to get over some of the hurdles of my social anxiety (i didnt jump over them so much as drag myself across the ground and painfully crawl over them) and i just... i feel good? i feel like people like me? there are still times where my anxiety insists i’m nothing but a useless burden, but i actually... feel like people enjoy having me around? holy shit!

i made some really cool new friends and got to know a different kind of roleplay community. im overall incredibly grateful for this wild and weird journey i’ve been on, and the journey certainly isn’t over by any means! i hope to keep seeing you guys around!

these words really arent even enough to express my gratitude. i havent been to some really dark places, but there for a while i felt like i was almost completely alone. i simply wasn’t connecting with other people like i wanted to. about 3-4 years ago i lost contact with (long story) my roleplay partners of 4 years and it wasn’t an easy thing to recover from, but i’m here now and it’s just... really good! incredible, even!

komussy

[yumikoflare]

mutual tag meme! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

tagged by @aftertaste-of-memes & i’ll be doing this meme abt her!

Rules: You must choose a mutual and answer these questions describing them. It is your choice whether you want to mention their name or keep it anonymous. Tag 5 people afterwards.

–Questions–

Serious questions:

When did I see your blog for the first time? — hooo sometime over a yr ago... we first spoke apr 6 2016 via ask but i had seen you spamming my activity probably like a week or two before that LOL

What I first thought about you: — prob something around the lines of “omg she’s so sweet!! and she looks up to me as a senpai and she’s into utaite as well?!? she seems super friendly..”

What caused me to want to talk to you? — the fact that u approached me like suCH A SWEETHEART and that we shared a common interest of utaite!

What do we have in common? — oh hey LOL same as above, we bonded over our love of utaite, but even now that our interests are different we still share a love for writing and memes~ 

Describe their talents: — VERY SMART, gets along well w/ people, rly tenacious so when she starts smth you cant stop her, not rly a talent but she’s open-minded and understanding and loves to learn

If you could go anywhere around the world with them, where would you go? — jApan!!!! also wherever else she wants to go bc i’m not rly the travelling type as much as she is LOL

Any habits you don’t like about them? — uhhh... no??? this is the hardest question omg ummmm.. yeah i literally can’t think of anything bless my kouhai

According to your zodiac signs, are you guys compatible? — “Initially both the zodiac signs will love each other's company. A Pisces will always find pleasure and fun in living with an Aquarius person and in turn Pisceans being compassionate, will try to take Aquarians on their trip to the dreamland.” (x)

What do both of you fangirl/fanboy over? — again formerly utaite! now we don’t rly share the same fandoms :00

What would you like introduce them to? — OVERWATCH LOL PLS GET THAT $$$ MARI

What do I think about you now? — ILYSM!! my absolutely amazing kouhai who’s stuck w me for all this time~ i can’t believe i’ve only known you for like a year that’s seriously crazy bc it feels like so much longer... i rly love you mari and i wish for only the best for ya! :D

Fun questions:

When they fangirl/fanboy over something, would they be most likely to scream about it to you or be kinda chill? — scream abt it to me wwww

Do you ship them with anyone? — i don’t rly ship rl people so no!

What meme accurately describes them? — this one and also pepe LOL

What meme do they quote the most? — UR TESTING ME NOW I CANT THINK OF WHICH www you quote a lot of bts songs if that counts...... i am so ashamed i cant think of the one you most commonly quote forgive me ww

Would they be most likely to write fluff, angst or smut?   — 1000% angst

What do you think is their aesthetic? — anything bts wwww

Would you go Yah or Nah on Tindr? — yea man mari’s looks are 🔥🔥🔥

What 3 songs describe them accurately? — uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh honestly i dont know many songs that describe people LOL bts’s tomorrow maybe, tbh p!atd’s she had the world kinda reminds me of what you ranted to me abt, and hikaru station’s escape makes me think of u! sorry this is so weak omg

What fic is their guilty pleasure? — i have no clue....... idk what fics you like www youre prob always a slut for that sweet angst tho adklsadsada

What food can’t they live without? — I AM ABSOLUTELY AWFUL I CANNOT THINK OF WHAT FOOD om g im a cheater and i see u like mandocas ww i also remember u talking abt fairy bread being the food of the gods

Is their handwriting cute? Or is it a scrawl that not even the most experienced linguists can decipher? — s m h to be totally honest i cant rm that far back to recall what it looks like but i do remember complimenting it so im pretty sure its cute LOLOL 

Would they be willing to shoot you for a million dollars or would they pass? — you’d pass bc ur 2 sweet 5 this world

DONE!! ignore if you don’t wanna do it but i’ll be tagging these people!: @aftertaste-of-memes (do ur own meme ww) | @inspiringnokias | @synpath | @synnyl | @wishprince | @kirbys | @genjis-wife

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Nothing Compares 2 U

@makapedia​ joined the AMA party to talk with us about her 2016 Resbang, Nothing Compares 2 U! Here’s some of what went down!!

Q: You wrote a good chunk of your fic set in the nineties. Was there anything that was especially hard about that?

makapedia: Writing the fic in the 90s was hard, if just because I was six when the 90s ended, so I did not remember as much as I thought I would, so I had to research a little history.

Q: What inspired you to think of this premise/AU?

makapedia: I thiiink I was talking to Madi? And spitballing ideas, as I do, at her, and it just spiralled from there. She enabled me hard.

Q: I did love your 90s references though. You mentioned some stuff and I would have flashbacks. It was all good.

makapedia: I didn't even get to write the scene I had originally envisioned for the AU, that's so weird. I wanted more Tamagotchi scenes. I wanted Maka to leave her precious child Tamagotchi in Soul's hands and he was going to take his job as caretaker Very Seriously while she was homeworking.

Q: [This] fic was an emotional ride and so empathetically written and incredibly nuanced. What was the most emotional thing for you to write? What would you do to cheer yourself up after a difficult scene?

makapedia: The most emotional thing for me to write was definitely, um, towards the end of the first portion of the fic? I gave Soul and Maka both parts of myself in this fic, and Soul really got the raw, late teens anxiety and fear of the world and his future, and it was both easy? and hard? for me to write, especially since it was through Maka's eyes, and I could not come out and say "hey, he is depressed and unmedicated and on a downward spiral" because she just didn't understand it. I would listen to Spice Girls to cheer myself up, though.

Q: Your approach to sexuality and to mental illness is amazing and hit me in the feels. Pls discuss any extra commentary youve ever wanted to discuss on these elements of your writing.

makapedia: I don't think I even went into this thinking it was going to have such commentary on sexuality? Uh, and especially the drama/throne we put sexuality on as a culture. I think the fic really evolved that way? And I think definitely even adding as much asexual commentary in it was extra. The mental illness thing was definitely planned and I wanted to make a point of showing someone who does struggle with depression/anxiety/other taking his life into his hands and getting help and still being able, as an adult, to have relations and be happy, and be a good partner. I wish I could have shown more of that at the end, but it is what it is.

Q: What is your personal favorite scene to write, or just based on how it turned out, or whatever!

makapedia: My favorite scene to write?? Maybe was towards the end, I had a lot of fun writing spiteful angry Maka kicking in the men's bathroom door and scaring the shit out of Soul. But based on how the scene turned out, i think the smut smut scene was my favorite. It was a Long fic, longer than I anticipated or planned it being, so a lot of it just melts together in my head now.

Q: Smut scenes, how do those go?

makapedia: LOL. Are you asking me how to write smut?

Q: Yes.

makapedia: I love you so much. I am Disgustingly Demisexual and super vanilla about things, and a lot of my smut focuses more on the feeling and gross headspace than the physical part? It's easier for me that way. I am a tiny ace virgin I am terrible with smut, I have people Fooled.

Q: Pls elaborate on your Very Important Decision to give Soul Batman sheets.

makapedia: Every cool guy I have in my life really aggressively loves Batman. That was it. He seemed appropriately Edgy (or False Edgy, w/e) for Soul.

Q: I really loved your characterization of the parents in this story - both Soul's and Maka's. Did you find one set of parents easier to write and if so, why??

makapedia: Oh man. I mean, they were there but also weren't, yeah? Only Soul's dad and Maka's mom made the cut, and Maka's mom is always a mixed bag for me because we do know very little about her in canon, whereas Soul's parents are always an empty canvas, for the most part. All I know about Maka's mom is she dumped Spirit for cheating and she is "like a bear" according to Maka loool so I guess I just kind of made her a very opinionated force of nature, sort of looming over and leading Maka's future, but she's hard for me to write. I could do whatever with Soul's dad and no one could tell me I was wrong. Too much power for one girl.

Q: Was there a specific 90s artifact you wanted to include that didn't make the cut?

makapedia: Black*Star in JNCO jeans.

Q: Where did the inspiration for the Liz jealousy side plot come from? Because that KILLED me lmao.

makapedia: The Liz thing was planned but also not to the degree it ended up happening? Mostly I wanted to write about Maka's insecurity, and work through her misogyny and jealousy issues and I thought it'd be interesting to have it be a close friend, I guess? But then it evolved into Soul questioning his identity in the background and coming to terms with like, realizing he was ace? Also I wanted Maka to be weird and uncomfortable and maybe even a little jealous later, when Liz had invited him to her wedding, but some of that got lost in translation.

Q: The entire leadup to and all of the Halloween party was a gift, where did the inspiration from that come from? (Soul alone with weiner dogs, bless.)

makapedia: I really, really wanted to write Maka as baby spice and it just snowballed from there. SHE WANTED TO BE SPORTY SPICE SO BADLY. Soul is me. Hides in the back room at a party and chills with tiny dogs.

Q: Why the 90s?

makapedia: I think it was because of my own nostalgia? And also feeling like I missed out on all of the turn of the century weirdness, because I WAS so young when the 90s ended and the 2000s began. It was like a time period AU but not drastic enough for me to have to really change everything and research language and clothing and trends and culture. It was recent enough but also like... long enough ago for other people my age or a little older to be like oh, man, remember the 90s, why did we all part our hair like that? The fic really did start out very silly in my heart but then everything got dark and sad.

Q: I was gonna ask, where did this idea come from? Did something really spur it on, other than your 90s nostalgia? Was the time gap thing always there? Cause the way you entered in the future and had a good portion of the story in the past was excellent and gripped my attention.

makapedia: So, originally when I was blarging to Madi about a 90s au I think I realized it couldn't just be memes, it needed a plot? And I'd always really wanted to write like a post breakup fic where the ship Gets Back Together at a wedding and then bam kablam. The "outline" for the fic is just bare bones for the fic and then some jokes I wanted to get in. Originally I'd wanted the chapters to go back and forth, 98 to 08 and such, but I ended up settling with a big 98 portion so it felt more cohesive. Pluuus I kind of like how it sets you up to hurt and then you wade through the beginning cute with just, this sense of oh god, no, what goes wrong?

Q: I loved the character dynamics between everybody everything felt very fitting like 'yep that is so how they would be.'

makapedia: ;__; I'm so glad. Bro*Star's frosted tips.

Q: I wanted to kill him when he did the freaking card trade thing.

makapedia: LOL that boy has no tact. That cloyster joke was in the outline.

Q: Did you have any characters that you sat there going 'okay what to do with you' or were all the characters falling into place nicely from your perspective? Was Black*Star's gutter mind easy to fall into or not? XD

makapedia: hhhaaaAAA, Death the Kid was mysteriously Not There in the 90s. SORRY, KIDDO. Black*Star is so easy and fun to write, but I think I'd write 90s skater DTK.

Q: Oh well, [Kid] got to make the best reference of the whole fic lol.

makapedia: He did, he got my favorite line. I think he spoke one line and it was my favorite. 70k for an I Write Sins Not Tragedies reference. The slow realization that that album came out in 2006 and therefore Existed was the best.

Q: On a scale of one to 10, how excited were you when you realized this?

makapedia: 10. 11. That joke got me through writing the last chapter.

Q: Was there a scene in particular that went a really different direction than what you expected?

makapedia: So I don't plot ahead like... as often as i should, hhhhhhaaa. So for a lot of the middle I just hit cruise control and went wherever it took me. But a lot of the stuff about virginity and like, terrible sex ed and worrying that it would hurt a ton and she'd bleed definitely weren't things I thought I'd write. I did not intend for the First Time (tm) scene to happen then and there but then... surprise dongle! Dicks out for the ship's swan song.

Q: What song did you listen to the most while writing this?

Q: Linger by The Cranberries, I think. A big Mood. And You Oughta Know, for appropriate Anger. Aaand Nothing Compares 2 U, of course. Tho I do wonder how many younger fandom bebs don't.... know that is a song title reference.

Q: What was your favourite part of the fic?

makapedia: I think... maybe the Halloween party, because Maka is such an unreliable narrator in this fic and she is so Clueless (haaaaaa, jokes) and it was the moment she Finally realized what Liz was trying to do. Also the moment where Soul realizes too was fun.

Q: Did you intend to write Liz as the actual soma fandom or was that accidental? (Complete with our adoration of Tsubaki.)

makapedia: LOL It was a little intentional, I guess, because she was Soul's close friend in the fic. But like, Maka misunderstanding everything just kept getting worse so it was a bit accidental. God I love Tsubaki. Liz has good taste. I don't super ship it a whole lot but I still wanted to try my hand at it. I wanted them to be happy and cute.

Q: What about your LEAST favorite scene!

makapedia: The breakup scene was hard for me to write and I'm still not happy with how it came out. It still feels forced in my heart, but I had to move on.

Q: WHAT'S NEXT?

makapedia: Iiiiii already have an idea of what I'm gonna do for Resbang next year so I cannot share that, buuuut I think I'm going to continue writing Not Lovers, weird mermaid AU I started recently? and probably more AUs. This is the year I write Too Many SoMa AUs, mark my words.

Q: Okay so Soul and Liz doing the do sort of killed my heart. Was that always planned?

makapedia: Hhhhaaaa that was planned ahead of time, I guess? I wanted Maka's jealousy to have some sort of basis. This tiny demi thing who can't wrap her head around sleeping with someone like that.

Q: It broke my heart but I found it so... realistic? Like I totally know people who've experienced that, and lots of people don't have their first time with their soulmate or true love or whatev so like it HURT but also... so, so true.

makapedia: Exactly, that was what I was going for. <3 Aaaand pushing my ace agenda, lol.

Q: Correct me if I read the thing wrong, but crona got adopted by Sid and Nygus??

makapedia: Iiiii do not remember. LOL, HECK. PLEASE.... HOLD.... /FRANTICALLY GOOGLES OWN FIC. YES. OKAY. Good I was like, I think I wrote that??? But then I haven't read that part in so long. I feel like people so often just throw Stein and Marie into the role of Crona's parents and I think I wanted to mix it up.

Q: I just... Crona living with Black☆Star had me in tears.

makapedia: Also that, exactly. You can bet your butt that weenie was probably Crona's dog, but Black*Star is the one who dressed it in a costume. I also had fun writing Soul and Crona bonding over Pokemon. Nerd shit. Soul, excitedly: did you hear they're making a video game? Maka is not as well versed in Pokemon as these nerds. Soul's probably laying there in that room with the weenie playing Tetris.

Q: That visual is gold.

makapedia: I also wanted to write Black*Star taking out Soul's ankles with a Skip-It. But alas.

---

Thanks again to makapedia for stoppin’ in!! More transcripts to come, stay tuned ~

[latenightbotanist]

I have feelings about the ode to joy and im going to dump them on you

At the time i am writing this part i have suffered through twenty two (22) hours of “ode to joy” repeated in my brains so you are gonna suffer with me now. Srsly, ask @madgronkish i kinda lost it around noon.. Anyways. First thought when i heard it was literally" theyre not going to fucking reunite them to THAT SONG??!?!“ Whilst i was wrong about sherlock driving the car…they still did that. Thanks mofftiss.

Ok now down to business. First off, DISCLAIMER, i am in no way qualified to do this? I dont know much about music and have like half an experience at writing meta? so..sorry in advance, maybe just look at this as inspiration and well..gay feelings bc i have enough of those to go around rn.

I will also tag some lovely people who actually know how to do this whole meta thing, and who knows, maybe one of you actually reads this mess and makes somethin out of it? Possibly? Idk, i dont blame you if you dont, really. @quietlyprim @loudest-subtext-in-tv @joolabee @hudders-and-hiddles @love-in-mind-palace @teapotsubtext @beejohnlocked @kinklock @marcelock @gaytectives @ormondsacker @culverton

So.. for all of you who dont know, ode to joy (originally “freude, schöner götterfunken”) is part of beethoven’s 9th symphony, it is the first ever symphony to incorporate voices, the lyrics mostly come from schillers “Ode an die Freude” and the melody itself has been the european anthem since 1972 (1985 if you insist on EU).

Ok so lets have a quick look at the lyrics(and i really mean quick, these are my notes from this morning, not exactly coherent but enough to get a general idea of my feelings about this, we’ll get into more detail later) i also put both the english and german version bc i felt at some points things got lost in translation, but honestly i dont know what to do about that so yeah, if you speak german, good for you, if not and by the end if this youre not bored to death and still have questions dont hesitate to ask i will awkwardly but gladly try to elaborate (this applies not only to lyrics btw)

O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!


Sondern laßt uns angenehmere anstimmen,


und freudenvollere.

/

Oh friends, not these sounds!


Let us instead strike up more pleasing


and more joyful ones!

(Literally lets have happier stories, also the score.. yes lets get the johnlock theme back,please)

Freude!
Freude! / Joy!
Joy!

Freude, schöner Götterfunken


Tochter aus Elysium,


Wir betreten feuertrunken,


Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!


Deine Zauber binden wieder


Was die Mode streng geteilt;


Alle Menschen werden Brüder,


Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

/ Joy, beautiful spark of divinity,


Daughter from Elysium, 

 
We enter, burning with fervour,             (Cant set the heart on fire if its

 
heavenly being, your sanctuary!              already burning w/ love, yall)


Your magic brings together 


what custom has sternly divided.               (Gayyyy!!!!!)


All men shall become brothers,           (Secret brothers,reunion…)


wherever your gentle wings hover.      

(Idk, mrs hudson is an angel?)

/

Wem der große Wurf gelungen,


Eines Freundes Freund zu sein;

 
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,


Mische seinen Jubel ein!


Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele


Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund

!
Und wer’s nie gekonnt, der stehle


Weinend sich aus diesem Bund!

/

Whoever has been lucky enough.         (Luckiest man in the world,


to become a friend to a friend,                 my only friend, … ) 

 Whoever has found a beloved wife,


let him join our songs of praise!               (Uh….how bout no?)


Yes, and anyone who can call one soul


his own on this earth!                                       (My john…..)


Any who cannot,

let them slink away
from this gathering in tears!   (Mary crying,then disappearing)

/

Freude trinken alle Wesen


An den Brüsten der Natur;


Alle Guten, alle Bösen


Folgen ihrer Rosenspur

.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,


Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;*

(Like.. sherlock died and
 came back for john what more proof??)

 Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben,

 
Und der Cherub steht vor Gott. 

Every creature drinks in joy


at nature’s breast;


Good and Bad alike


follow her trail of roses.                  (Good and bad, rosie, hmmmm)


She gives us kisses and wine,


a true friend, even in death;              (Or only in death?hey mary)


Even the worm was given desire,     (Mycroft? Nah,probs moriarty)


and the cherub stands before God.    (Sherlock, my lil cherub)

/

Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen

Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,

 (Plans…ominous)


Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,

 
Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.

Gladly, just as His suns hurtle


through the glorious universe,


So you, brothers, should run your course,             (the way it was always


joyfully, like a conquering hero.                                  meant to be…..) 

/

Seid umschlungen, Millionen!


Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!


Brüder, über’m Sternenzelt


Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen.


Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?


Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?


Such’ ihn über’m Sternenzelt!


Über Sternen muß er wohnen.

/

Be embraced, you millions!


This kiss is for the whole world!             (,!!???? Like???????Yes pls)


Brothers, above the canopy of stars


must dwell a loving father.                                (Or two? Hey dads)


Do you bow down before Him, you millions?


Do you sense your Creator, o world?


Seek Him above the canopy of stars!


He must dwell beyond the stars.

Well that was……….. kinda gay. Yeah yeah i know its just a queer reading no i dont believe it was intended to be gay by either beethoven or schiller (or was it?? Irdk) but. in the context of the show. which is rather what were looking at. Pretty damn gay, right?

Ok lets have a look at my absolute favourite lines first:

Your magic brings together/what custom has sternly divided.

Well… i think we can all agree that society has, quite sternly indeed, divided holmes and watson, romantically. Homosexuality just simply wasnt a custom, or at least very frowned upon, mildly speaking. It is rather magical to watch this wrong being righted though, i should think. More specifically in bbc sherlock, the divide has come through a custom of not speaking to each other, and guess what?? Yeah hudders is friggin done with that bs these two are talking now!

And then…

Be embraced, you millions!/This kiss is for the whole world!

*shrieking* do i? Do i really need to talk about this? I think not. This just…. yeah. I mean really….. I would like to add at this point that, at least to my ears, embraced sounds like a rather tame option of translation. “Umschlungen”, to me personally conveys a certain vigour, almost as if the embrace might… idk.. come as a surprise to some extend? Take the air from some peoples lungs? Yeah dunno what that could be about……

If you still need more i guess i could just blubber some more about it all but tbh what is structure? so yeah, here we go, feel free to leave anytime i mean its already pretty gay and hurts my heart i wont blame you if you think 

•WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE REALM OF JOY… yep thats happening things are getting happy, please, god, let them actually. And this joy that we will feel when John and Sherlock ( finally) get together will mend all the wrong thats been done to those two, and us Holmes fans, during all these years of being kept apart by society and norms and customs, homophobia and heteronormativity. Were entering a sanctuary, we are literally save here!

•General message of schiller’s ode to joy is literally that HUMAN CONNECTIONS ARE THE CROWN OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE like wow yes thank you it is as if human connections were the stuff that…completes you as a human being. Say what? 

•Not only is this true for johnlock but also for our entire community, were bound together by the joy of this show, our joy will mend what heteronormativty destroyed, the joy of their kiss will unite us, we will embrace it and the joyfull gayness will embrace us! 

 •The fact that its literally such a groundbreaking piece of music. There have been symphonies over and over but this is new, this is different, he incorporated voices. Groundbreaking,earthshattering… u get it. Seriously if anyone who has even a slither of a clue about music wants to educate me on what the inclusion of voices could stand for please im begging enlighten me my brains too fried im already struggling to get this done(as you might be able to tell. I am so sorry)

 And now, onto some more shit i stumbled upon in the original poem that, sadly, didnt make it into the song but: 

•Have patience for a better world to come, god(mofftiss) is good and will give you what you deserve

•Forget hatred and revenge, forgive your (arch)enemy who shall not have to cry or be rueful (ahem mary. Also possibly mycroft to some extent who knows whats gonna happen) 

•Bravery even in agony,help where innocence is weeping (hi john) 

•Something about oaths and telling the truth to your friends as well as enemies and how lies will bring everything down…… 

•Narrowing the circle, making oaths with wine and staying faithful(keep believing!!) 

•Salvation from tyranns, hope to the dying, mercy in council, forgiving of sins and ENDING HELL well ok then yes to all! 

 No honestly theres a lot and im horrifically underqualified and have a headache so i’ll stop now. If you actually read this whole mess of a thing.. thank you. Bless your soul. I’ll make you an origami elephant or something