#Going on 4 note rants is fun tbh

[mbta-unofficial]

That's not what fiscal conservatism means? Fiscal conservatism is about slashing taxes and cutting back on social safety nets.

Say, for the sake of argument, we taxed billionaires to pay off the national debt. This is a fiscally conservative position in the limited sense that it does not rely on assuming future US debt, propelling the government with future dollars and inflation. It's a debt hawk position that we last saw under Bill Clinton, and haven't really seen since. I kinda refuse to accept the position that anyone who talks about "fiscal responsibility" is a dogwhistling klansman or a private equity CEO, even if those are the dominant groups talking about balancing the budget, because they are charlatans and we all know it.

Now, I know enough economics to understand that there are actually significant advantages to propelling the US economy with future dollars and inflation. US Treasury Bonds being the basis of the international economy has done us an immense boon and we are about to see what happens when suddenly nobody wants lil old uncle sam in their investment portfolio. But that doesn't mean that a balanced budget wouldn't have different advantages to be weighed against the advantages of the debt cannon, and advocating for such is, strictly speaking, the conservative position to hold about fiscal policy compared to the liberal position of "just borrow lol."

The real problem is that republicans are deceitful hypocrites to a man and rant and rail about spending right up until they hold the gavel and then blow America's economic load all over billionaire pocketbooks. Imagine you were married to a fucking gambling addict and every 4-8 years the supreme court said you had to give them your credit card until they fucked up so badly that THE AMERICAN ELECTORATE decided that it was "too much." Would it matter that they spent 4-8 years talking about how we can't possibly afford to fix the fucking insulation in the attic? no. So called "fiscal conservatives" refuse to take the actual hard line that their alleged principles demand because they are mouthpieces for bad faith actors. That doesn't mean that the actual hard line their alleged principles demand is without economic merit but you'd never know it from their voting habits because their voting habits are all oligarchy all the time and we know that those fuckers can't balance a budget, they're too busy whining about unions and lapping up federal grant money to fix their own financial insolvencies.

[schrijverr]

Stiles as a Roommate

Classic outsiders POV of Stiles in college, where his roommate, Mike, and their other friends try to figure out who all these people are that keep calling Stiles.

On AO3.

Ships: Sterek

Warnings: they think Stiles is wrapped up in some bad shit (which valid tbh)

~~~~

Mike’s roommate is profoundly disturbing and highly hilarious to have around. On the first day he comes crashing into the room, tripping over himself like an old school physical comedy, before assuring Mike that he’s fine and it doesn’t even come close to being beaten to a pulp by a grandfather.

It’s quite the introduction and for a while Mike was worries that his roommate is going to suck. Stiles isn’t the typical college student, you see.

He has amassed an entire herb garden in the windowsill, skips out on most parties, keeps a metal baseball bat by his bed and calls home every single day. On top of that, he doesn’t know how to shut up and his rants devolve into the strangest bullshit about the most random topics that make Mike wonder why the hell criminology major had looked into them.

So, Mike thought he is stuck with a weird paranoid kid, who doesn’t know how to have fun. He worries about Stiles getting mad about him getting back in late or judgmental about not studying as much. However, his worries had soon been put to rest.

Because Stiles is fun and Stiles is easy. He can become anyone’s friend in minutes and is up later than healthy most of the time, doing weird bullshit on his laptop that he calls research, though Mike never knows what for.

He might not be a party-goer himself, but he absolutely doesn’t care about what Mike does, just jeering at him to use protection when he goes out and waking him up with a smug smirk and coffee when Mike wants to disappear into his mattress with a hangover, kicking his ass to classes.

Stiles is probably what is keeping him from failing right now and Mike will go to great lengths to keep him as his friend, because, yeah, they’re friends now.

It’s impossible not to befriend Stiles, he grows on you like a very persistent mold.

His friendship with Stiles starts six weeks into rooming together. Classes are in full swing alongside parties and Mike has just started to get worried about his roommate being a stick in the mud, when he comes home at 4:00 AM piss drunk.

Naturally he tries (and fails) to quietly enter the room, trying not the be the dickbag that wakes people up every night to find the lights still on. He blinks a few times at Stiles, who is sitting on his bed with a laptop and smartly says: “Huh.”

“God, you’re so fucking drunk it’s not even funny, dude. I can smell it from here and I don’t even have a freaky nose,” Stiles comments, before he gets up from the bed.

Mike sways slightly in the doorway, mentally trying to decide if he can do a stumble and drop to his bed or if he’ll sleep on the floor when Stiles is suddenly in front of him. He startles and nearly falls over, saved from faceplanting by Stiles, who is usually the one meeting the floor.

“Oh, hey, there, hey, buddy,” Stiles says, righting him. He slips an arm around Mike and masterfully stumble-drags him to the bed, depositing him on it. He points at Mike, who is still reeling from the movement and sternly says: “Don’t move,” as if Mike had any big plans.

Moments later he returns with a glass of water and gets Mike upright, telling him to sip and not allowing him to stop until the glass is empty.

Mike isn’t sure what happens next, but the next morning he wakes up with a groan to find two painkillers, a glass of water and a glass of orange juice on his bedside table along with a note reading: go to your classes! And you’re not a very eloquent drunk

In that moment, it feels like the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him, swiftly forgetting all his parents have done under the pounding headache. He takes his painkillers, drinks his drinks and actually manages to drag himself to his lecture, deciding that Stiles might not be so bad.

When he comes back from his class, Stiles is there, typing away on his laptop again. He greets Mike when he enters and Mike returns it: “Hey, dude. Thanks for the painkillers and stuff.”

“Yeah, man, no problem,” Stiles smiles back. “It’s just instinct at this point, I’ve had to drag worse people off to bed.”

It’s a bit of an odd reply, but something Mike can work with. “You friends with many party-goers?”

A strange look flits over Stiles’ face, but it goes as fast as it comes and Stiles says: “Something like that. I was the one with a car, who wasn’t a prick about it getting dirty on the inside when in crisis. I have passed up on many party experiences except the clean up. All my friends are idiots.”

Mike chuckles at that and plops down on his own bed, as he comments: “Do you have a big friend group back home?” See, he can have conversations, mom.

“Oh, yeah,” Stiles tells him with a grin. “We’re like a family. A very weird family.” A brief pause. “But how about you?”

“Nah,” Mike shrugs. “I’m making up for it now.”

“Yeah, I can see,” Stiles grins. “Alcohol is a poison, my man. Besides, I’m not sure you’re remembering the friends you made.”

The bluntness is something Mike has encountered before and turned him away, but it doesn’t sound mean. He remembers that he is going to try with Stiles, so instead of ending the conversation there, he shrugs: “Probably, but it’s fun while it lasts.”

“Come on, man, that’s not fun,” Stiles says. “I have some friends from introduction. We get fries on Thursdays and study on Sunday. You can come sometime, it’s fun.”

Okay, so the bluntness was genuine concern and Mike honestly could use some actual friends. He likes parties, they’re fun, but the loneliness is starting to get to him. So he replies: “Sure, sounds fun.”

“Hell yeah,” Stiles does a genuine fist pump and Mike snorts. Yeah, alright, maybe Stiles isn’t so bad at all.

“Why were you awake so late anyway?” Mike asks, suddenly remembering that Stiles was just sitting there when he stumbled in.

“Oh, Jackson called me,” Stiles says. “He’s in studying in at Cambridge, because his parents are pretentious fuckers. He needed to check in about… something and I was still awake. I had to look something up, I was just emailing him the details when you came in.”

“All the way in England?” Mike whistles, a bit impressed.

“Tsk, don’t let hear him that. Dick has a big enough ego as it is,” Stiles rolls his eyes.

“I thought you were his friend?” Mike says, a bit confused, because Stiles had literally picked up the phone at 4:00 AM for this guy, couldn’t be that much bad blood, could there?

“Surprisingly enough. He had a restraining order against me in high school for a while,” Stiles informs him casually, before realizing how that sounds and quickly amending: “Obviously, he revoked it, because it was completely unnecessary and a big misunderstanding. We’re cool now, promise.”

And that’s Mike’s cue to drop the conversation, giving Stiles a tight nod, before turning to his own work. He’s giving the other a chance, not inviting crazy. Though he does allow himself to be invited for fries on Thursday with Stiles’ friends.

There is Maya a shy, but enthusiastic biology major; Aalif, a kind but serious looking pre-law student; Nikki, a hilariously insane art major; and Kai a bit of a dorky English major. How Stiles had found this ragtag group Mike doesn’t know

“Mike,” he introduces himself. “I do history. I’m Stiles’ roommate,” before he’s pulled into a discussion about whether or not fries can be classified as a salad. (Potato salad exists, Mike, and it’s a side dish).

It’s honestly a lot more fun than expected and it’s nice to see that Stiles does know how to have fun, he just has fun arguing about nothing with someone studying to argue professionally instead of getting wasted.

While Mike doesn’t think he’ll keep away from parties entirely, he might cut back to make place for this. The genuine connection is way nicer than not remembering who you talked to, or if you even did.

They’re about to start opening the famous is cereal-soup debate when Stiles’ phone starts to ring. He nearly hits his head on the table as he dives to get it out of his bag, calling out a quick: “Sorry, guys, gotta take this real quick.”

But since he is stuck in a booth, all he can do is turn away from them as he greets: “Isaac, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

It’s not the most standard greeting and Mike raises his brow at the others, who all shrug. Apparently this has happened before. Mike watches as Stiles gets a reply, fascinated by how Stiles seems to melt, worries leaving him as he grins fondly, before practically cooing: “You missing me already? I am flattered, pup.”

He grins some more at what Isaac is saying, before raising a brow, voice turning into a tease: “I feel used here. Like a cheap replacement. You knew Scott was going to be busy with Allison, I even warned you. Not my fault no one in this p- family ever listens to me.”

Another reply to which Stiles says: “Yes, you heard correctly, I’m with friends, you can make those at college. I encourage you to try.”

An eyeroll at Isaac’s answer, then a sigh: “Yes, Isaac, having your own friends will get their attention again. But try also for yourself, meeting new people is fun. Maybe you even meet someone you like.”

“Bye, Isaac,” Stiles says pointedly, it sounds faintly like Isaac is protesting his departure, but he hangs up on him.

“Sorry about that, you know how they can get,” Stiles grins, trying to play it off, while Mike tries to ignore how much it sounds like the conversation he had with his mom last week, before deciding to join the others in not commenting.

And after that it their friendship takes off until they’re at the ‘waking him up with a smug smirk and coffee when Mike wants to disappear into his mattress with a hangover, kicking his ass to classes’- stage.

Turns out that if you’re closer to Stiles, he’s even weirder. He goes home pretty often, now that he has settled in alright, nearly every other weekend, at least once a month, though he complains about his dad forcing him to stay at college to get the full experience, air quotes obvious in his voice.

Mike doesn’t say anything, since he kind of agrees with Stiles’ dad. It’s a bit unhealthy how much Stiles’ calls home. Or at least, Mike thinks he does, though it always sounds like it’s someone else on the phone, because Stiles will tell the same story a bunch of times or tell the person that another person told him to tell them etc, like they couldn't call themselves.

The conversations are also just weird. Stiles cuts himself off sometimes, sending Mike looks, or he’ll fuss over whoever is on the other side of the line like he’s their therapist, or their fucking mother. Not to mention the fact that he always – always – picks up.

Mike has tried to call Stiles a few times, a lot of the time his roommate won’t pick up, or call back apologetically, yet he’ll leave a lecture if someone from home calls.

It’s just odd.

So, brave soldier as he is (as well as the head investigator of their little friend group, who are all more curious about Stiles than Mike expected when he first met them), he asks: “Hey, man, who are you always calling?”

Stiles look up from where has just hung up with a: “You be careful okay? I love you,” looking a bit confused, before smiling and shrugging: “That depends, honestly. It’s a bit much.”

That sounds like a deflection, but Mike is curious and got better at talking to people and standing up for himself. So, he goes: “I have time. I’m smart. I think I can take it.”

“Alright,” Stiles shoots him another uncertain look, before starting, “Well, my dad and Derek are holding down the fort, so I call them just to see how life is going. Boyd and Erica are there too, so I call them too, but Boyd doesn’t talk much, so I mostly call with Erica. She is my Catwoman, you know, we chat, she spills about Boyd. He has his own carpentry shop, it’s been going well. I’m glad for him, you know. And Erica is taking a gap year, but to be honest, I think she likes being a park ranger too much to ever go back to school.”

Mike nods along to Stiles’ rambles. His dad is explainable and the fact that he added Derek in there must mean they’re a unit in his mind, maybe a brother? Or even his father’s boyfriend. Erica is someone he’s close with and knows well, called her his Catwoman, so maybe girlfriend? But he connected her to Boyd, who sounds like a far friend of sorts, so maybe not.

“Of course there is Jackson in England,” Stiles continues on happily. “I told you about him. He is a bit of a dick, but we’ve forgiven him. Well, Lydia did and we all trusted her and it worked out okay.”

And yeah, Mike remembers Jackson with the apparent restraining order and wonders who Lydia is. Luckily he doesn’t have to wait long.

“Lydia,” Stiles sighs, making Mike think he loves her, which he naturally immediately disproves by going, “I used to be in love with her, but turns out, no. She’s being an absolute genius doing mathematics at CalTech. She terrifies me in the best ways.”

That’s not concerning at all.

“And then you have Scott, my best friend,” Stiles rambles on and Mike knows that the other probably won’t even notice if he leaves. He gets like that. “Now my man Scott is at Colorado State

to become a vet alongside Allison and Isaac.”

Those two names are also familiar and Mike feels awkward staying silent, so he says: “They’re all become vets?”

“No, just Scott, but they’re all at Colorado State, because Scott will probably perish without Allison and Isaac hates being lonely and didn’t get into Stanford with me,” Stiles says, like that’s the most obvious reason to pick a school.

Mike is distracted by Stiles hitting his arm enthusiastically: “Allison is also doing history, man, I hadn’t even thought of that! I don’t know how it would be relevant either, but you know, fun fact! I love fun facts, like did you know that human teeth are the only part of the body that can’t heal themselves, because enamel is dead tissue. That was fun to find out.”

He senses that there is a story there, but Stiles is already moving on: “And Isaac, my beautiful boy, is doing social studies, which I think will really help him. He’s come so far and he’s really happy with his courses.”

Isaac was the one that called during that first Thursday fries run Mike was a part of. He recalls the nicknames and the fact that Isaac was missing Stiles, not to mention how fond Stiles sounded and the fact that Isaac wanted to go to college with him. Maybe Isaac was the boyfriend?

“Anyways,” Stiles ends his rant. “I told you it’s a bit much, but I like knowing they’re okay and getting by and if I only call one, the others will get jealous. There’s only so much Stiles to go around and everyone wants a piece,” he grins.

Mike thinks Stiles has a weird relationship with his friends from back home, but also that he doesn’t want to create any friction with his roommate and best friend on campus, so he just nods and smiles a bit.

“But how about you?” Stiles returns the question. “You never call home, at least, not that I’ve witnessed.”

Since Stiles decided to share, something he rarely does, Mike knows he should return the favor, so he shrugs. “Not really much to call.”

“Is no one there?” Stiles asks, all concern.

“My mom and dad are, but you know,” Mike shrugs. “Dad just cares about my grades and mom is always prying, like she thinks I can’t manage by myself or something. It’s fucking annoying. I’m an adult now, she doesn’t need to hover.”

Stiles frowns at his reply, then bites his lip as if he isn’t sure he should say something, before he breaks and blurts: “But isn’t that nice? To have someone who worries?”

“What?” Mike hadn’t thought Stiles would pick his mom’s side, though maybe he should have seen it coming.

“I mean, I don’t know your situation of course, but I get it,” Stiles shrugs, backing off a bit. “You’ve always been her baby, who she saw every single day and knew when you had a bad day, when you got a good grade, etc, now she has nothing and you don’t tell her, so her mind makes up all the horrible things that could have happened to you between calls, resulting in what is practically an interrogation until she is satisfied that you’re truly as okay as you claim you are… Wow, that was one hell of s sentence,” Stiles ends his keen observation with a joke to lighten it up a bit, since he got way too into that.

Mike attempts to wade through the sea of words just slung to his head, before he realizes Stiles kind of has a point. He breathes: “How do you even know that?”

Stiles scratches his nose and shrugs: “I might be a bit of the mom-friend.” And Mike is reminded of the fact that Stiles is really weird with his friends and that he probably knows that because he does the exact same thing his mother does.

Next Sunday, he reports all this to the study group, which Stiles has had to skip out on, because someone called at midnight, which obviously meant Stiles immediately packed is bags and left, something that is more common than Mike would like.

“That’s a lot of friends,” Maya comments once he is done. “But it’s sweet he cares so much about them.”

“He cares mom-levels about them,” Mike points out. “I’m telling you, he got so intense while defending my mom, like it was personal.”

“So, he’s a bit intense about is friends,” Nikki shrugs. “One girl in my class is making a shrine to her boyfriend as a final project. We’re not at that level yet, so I think we’re good.”

“He took off in the middle of the night on a three hour drive, because someone called,” Mike replies.

“I don’t think it’s really any of our concern,” Aalif interrupts, before it can get out of hand.

“But what if they’re like a creepy cult or something?” Nikki asks.

Aalif levels her a look as he says: “I don’t think Stiles would get drawn into a cult.”

“You don’t know that,” she raises a brow. “It happens, even to smart people like Stiles.”

“He has a metal baseball bat by his bed,” Mike offers, not sure why he is backing Nikki in this debate.

“He does?” Maya asks, a bit concerned.

They all now look at Mike and he suddenly realizes that they’ve never been into their room, which is why he has become Stiles source number 1. He shrugs: “Yeah, he took it with him when he left for home tonight. It’s all damaged and shit, though I think some carvings are intentional. They look a bit like runes.”

Nikki raises a brow as she looks at Aalif and says: “But you don’t think Stiles could have joined a cult.”

“I don’t think a cult would have allowed him to leave for college, not to mention do criminology,” Maya offers. “I think he’s following a seminar about cults right now actually.”

“Okay, but even without a cult, still suspicious and weird,” Nikki huffs. “And it’s still a possibility, right, Mike?”

Mike startles a bit unsure how he got on the pro-cult side and not sure he isn’t agreeing. “I mean, he does have all these herbs and some weird books, but those could be from the library.”

And now they’re giving him more looks. Great. He puts his hands up defensively: “It’s not like I know, alright. Stiles never exactly cooks, maybe he just likes the smell of the herbs. And the books could be an aesthetic thing, though he keeps him under his bed in a box if they’re his.”

“What sort of books?” Kai asks after a beat.

“They’re leather bound. Old,” Mike shrugs. “I haven’t seen him with them much. He shoves them out of sight when I get in and the only times he hasn’t was when he thought I was asleep or very drunk.”

“Creepy,” Maya shivers.

“Come on, this is Stiles,” Aalif says. “He is not in some creepy cult. Do you all even hear yourselves? Seriously. Now, the midterms are coming up and I would like to get some passing grades.”

That gets a few boos and boring’s thrown at him, but Aalif doesn’t falter and they do all giggle a bit at the ridiculousness of Stiles in a cult. Before they can truly get anything done, Nikke snorts: “Maybe he tripped into it,” sending them all into giggles again.

It isn’t a joke anymore when Stiles reappears again on their Thursday fry run his face more bruise than skin and his hands both wrapped in bandages.

“Stiles!” Kai exclaims, already out of his seat. “What happened to you?”

“Hey there, guys,” Stiles attempts a grin, wincing at the action. “I’m good, I’m good.” He eases himself into their booth, wrapped fingers taking some fries and popping them into his mouth as the rest watches him with careful eyes. Of course he notices as he chews slowly, whispering to himself: “Knew Derek was right about the liquid diet. Fucker.”

“What happened?” Aalif asks when Stiles seems like he is going to ignore the whole situation that is his face and hands. “Stiles, if someone did this to do, you have to go to the police, file a report. You can sue.”

“Of course you’d say that, lawyer-man,” Stiles grins again, falling flat once more when his already split lip, re-splits and starts to bleed. “Ah, fuck,” he hisses, grabbing a napkin to press against it as he makes a disgruntled face.

“Stiles,” Nikki snaps.

“What?” he replies as if it’s not incredibly obvious.

Mike surprises himself by jumping in: “What the hell happened to you, man?”

It dawns on Stiles that they’re not letting it go and he sags a bit in his seat. Then says: “Nothing, I promise. It was just an accident, really.”

That’s just a thousand red flags there and Maya takes the lead for them, putting a hand on Stiles shoulder and saying in a soft voice: “We’re not going to judge you, promise. But right now, not knowing is so much worse.”

“Derek told me not to come,” Stiles sighs after a moment. “I knew it was stupid, but I wanted to come. I mean, he only had Boyd and Erica with him, because all the others were too far away. That wasn’t enough.”

“What were they doing?” Nikki asks, unable to keep her mouth shut and be patient.

Luckily, Stiles isn’t silenced by it. “Derek lives on the preserve, it’s in the middle of the forest and something was killing the animals. It was a mountain lion, we have a lot of animal attacks. They wanted to take it out before it moved into the town.”

Mike remembers Stiles telling him Erica was a park ranger, but Boyd was a carpenter and he knew nothing about Derek, which is weird on its own. Stiles loved bragging about his friends, or would casually comment about them or pick up the phone with their name on his lips, but Mike had before now heard the name Derek only once.

“Of course I tripped over a few branches in the dark,” Stiles laughs self-deprecatingly. “I should have known better. I’m a klutz, you know. Though I did get a hit in, before I went down in a not so glorious blaze of branches and a curse.”

“You hit a mountain lion?” Kai whisper yells.

“Yeah, with my bat,” Stiles shrugs, like it’s a normal thing.

“Dude, are you insane?” Mike asks.

“Oh, okay, I see what’s happening here,” Stiles backs up, like they didn’t make sense before now. “I didn’t want to admit I fell, because it’s embarrassing as fuck. And like, I know I’m clumsy, but after all the running away from shit trying to kill me, one would think I’d have gotten better at it, but noooo. I am surrounded by people who can do crazy shit, while I hit my head on a fucking branch, because why not.”

“Stiles!” Nikke cuts him off. “Running away from things trying to kill you? What the hell.”

“I was getting there,” Stiles says, though it’s obvious to all of them that he was getting further and further away from the point. “When I was in high school there were all these murders in town. My friend was targeted at one point, I got caught up in it. Nothing makes a friendship like getting locked into a school and running from a crazed murderer or holding someone up in a pool for two hours. It was a whole thing. Plus my father is the sheriff.”

“What the fuck,” Nikki voices the shared sentiment after a moment to process.

“Wait, here I have proof,” Stiles taps away on his phone, before showing a news article with the tagline reading: Five teens trapped in high school with murderer still on the loose

After letting them read it, he puts his phone in his pocket and proudly says: “We’re having a project about crimes in our hometown right now and I have an advantage over the rest.”

“That’s- That’s not-” Maya stutters. “…Stiles…”

“What?” he says confused, as if what he just bragged about isn’t heartbreaking. God, no wonder he’s a bit fucked from it all. Mike would want to know if all his friends are okay if he nearly saw them all killed alongside him.

“Are you, like, okay?” Mike asks.

“Probably not, like in general,” Stiles tells him honestly, “but I am really fine. As fine as I get anyway. Derek says I have to work on that, but he’s not the boss of me and I actually am doing better. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Maya smiles kindly. “We just want to know you’re okay. Thanks for trusting us with that. Did you get those wounds checked out?”

“I did,” he returns her smile. “Got a clean bill of health and everything. Dad wouldn’t let me drive back before that.”

“Good,” Aalif says.

They’re all quiet for a moment, before the thing that has been niggling on his mind comes out. He asks: “Who is this Derek person anyway?”

Stiles regards them all for a moment, before saying: “I don’t think we reached that level of friendship yet. Sorry. Like, you’re all my friends and stuff and I like bragging about my other friends to you, but I don’t know.”

“What?” Mike exclaims as Nikki points out: “You just told us you nearly got murdered, but telling us about a friend is a step too far?”

“You know, that is actually a good point,” Stiles says. “I must still be a bit lightheaded from everything, I normally don’t tell people that.”

“Should we take you to a hospital? Kai asks worriedly.

“No, no, I’m kidding, I think,” Stiles jokes, before quickly adding, “I am truly kidding, please don’t take me to a hospital. God, no one appreciates my humor.”

“Stiles,” Aalif sighs tiredly when Stiles deftly gets them on a different topic than Derek.

“Derek is my husband,” Stiles finally tells them, shutting them all up as they stare at them with their jaws on the floor. That explains Stiles trips home and lack of partying or otherwise getting laid, he had a whole fucking husband waiting for him at home.

None of them could know that Stiles’ reluctance to talk about Derek and his relation is that as a prominent alpha, broadcasting that they were ‘mated’ (and yes, Derek, that term is still weird to a human) isn’t really smart. Especially after everything that had already come to Beacon Hills.

“Y- Your husband?!?” Kai squeaks.

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you all,” Stiles groans. “You can’t imagine the rumor mill at home when it happened, like seriously, people were acting like I was signing my life away to the devil or something.”

“Why?” Maya asks and Mike has to agree. Marriage so early isn’t exactly uncommon, it just took them by surprise this time. What would make this different.

“I-” Stiles looks genuinely sheepish, “I might have gotten him arrested for a murder he didn’t commit and stuff. But that was like, what? Two, three years ago.”

Immediately their table exploded, voices overlapping, because – again – what the fuck.

“He didn’t do it!” Stiles exclaims, shutting them all up. “He was framed. Set up. Look, I know he wasn’t the killer. Derek saved my life, like a bazillion times at this point. I love him.”

Despite the bruises, the look on his face is quite clear with love oozing off of it. Like full on, ‘Disney princess, soulmate, found the one’-love. It’s a bit disgusting in Mike’s terribly single opinion.

“Well, then I want to see him,” Nikki demands. “You can’t tell us you got swept off your feet by a mysterious would be murderer and not expect us to want to see him.”

Stiles shoots them all a suspicious look, which is pretty rude all things considering, but Mike lets it slide in favor of satiating his curiosity. Then Stiles pulls out his phone, showing them a sequence of pictures that said more than words could.

It’s obviously their wedding day. They’re both in full suits, standing in a forest with the sunset hitting them, putting them in a glow of light. Derek is apparently a handsome, muscled man, who screams not bad boy as much as serial killer.

The first picture is pretty standard. They’re looking at each other, Derek’s bad boy vibe killed by the fact that he is smiling softly at Stiles, who is smiling back. Derek’s smile is toothachingly fond in a way that Mike feels in his chest.

In the second picture, the murder vibes are back in full force, with Derek glaring at Stiles, who looks like he’s saying something, his face smug like it’s an inside joke, his hands up to gesture like he always does.

Then, in the last picture, Stiles has Derek’s cheeks between his hand, face contorted in something Mike would call a coo, if Derek didn’t look like the kind of guy who would allow anything resembling a coo being directed at him. Though, Mike might have to rethink that assumption, because while Derek is raising one murderous eyebrow, the smile has returned again.

“I am his favourite annoyance,” Stiles announces proudly. “It’s wonderful how much bugging someone can do.”

And all of them would have guessed Derek was the one, who had pursued Stiles, but here Stiles is, telling them all about how he is a master at befriending people and Derek honestly needed someone to tell him how horrible he was at decorating or socializing, before fixing it for him.

Beside him, Nikki mutters: “Dear god, he has an ‘I can fix him’-mentality. We’re doomed.”

“I heard that!” Stiles exclaims indignantly, though he doesn’t deny it per se. But when Nikki’s soda arrives, it explodes in her face and Mike would almost suspect Stiles had something to do with it if he had to go off the smug look.

They drop the topic of Stiles injuries and apparent husband, for the evening, which Stiles seems grateful for at least, before catching him up on campus gossip. Still, they keep their eye on him and it’s hard to forget with his face all fucked up.

When they leave, Maya leans in and whispers to Mike: “Keep an eye on him for us, okay?”

He nods quickly, before hurrying after Stiles, who is yelling at him to hurry or he’ll drive back without him.

Mike also keeps his word, so when Stiles’ phone starts to ring, he pretends to be engrossed in his book, while secretly keeping an ear on Stiles’ conversation. He usually doesn’t listen in, unless something is so weird it breaks through his mental barriers, but he feels like this can be an exception.

“Hey there, big guy,” Stiles greets, voice much gentler than Mike ever remembered it being.

“Yeah, worrywolf, I’m fine,” Stiles tells whoever is on the other side. “Dad wouldn’t have let me drive otherwise and neither would you for that matter. You checked me yourself before letting me go, quite thoroughly I might add.”

And that last part is definitely an innuendo, dear god, Mike did not want to know that. However, it is confirmation that it’s Derek on the line, so he listens even harder.

“I know I overdid it, but no one got hurt except a few bruises on me,” Stiles argues. “And I get hurt even when I’m not in danger, you know how doors and the air are my biggest enemies. Come on, Derek. If it was bad, I would have told you. We promised remember? You made it part of our vows, because you are a complete softie.”

Okay, Mike isn’t going to lie, that’s actually pretty cute and he slightly hates that he’s becoming team Derek when all he knows is that he was (falsely) arrested for murder and married to Stiles, who comes running home when called on.

“I promise not to run into danger again,” Stiles tells Derek. “Well, I promise not to run needlessly into danger again and honestly one could argue that this time wasn’t needlessly, because you are my damsel in distress as much as you want to cast me in that roll.” A beat. “Yes, I will never let you forget the pool, we discussed this.”

“Yes, Derek, I always take care of my wounds,” Stiles rolls his eyes. “I’ll even send you picture updates and call you every day. How does that sound?”

Oh god, Derek is actually a concerned boyfriend – excuse me, husband – who needs updates and called the day Stiles left because he was worried. Mike is never going to be able to tell the others that without it turning into a riot.

“Great, because I am going to bed,” Stiles says. “Midterms are coming up and while spending time with you is a hundred times better, I actually need to pass these if I ever want to get a degree. So, goodbye, I love you.”

A bit of silence, then a very love-filled chuckle: “Of course I’m going to think of you. I always sleep better with you, you know that. Now bye. Love you, again and always.”

Fucking hell, Mike is going to die of a toothache, caused by his happily married roommate, which is honestly where his life is at right now.

Though, Mike can honestly live with a weird roommate. It’s a source of entertainment and he now can rest knowing Stiles has someone watching out for him, preventing him from going off the deep end, which was an honest concern.

Stiles is weird, but with what Mike knows, he’s allowed to be a bit strange and he honestly doesn’t want to know more than he does.

~~

A/N:

Disclaimer: I am not shitting on parties, if you like them, go nuts. I just don’t drink and hate social interaction, so I wouldn't know how to write a good party scene even if I wanted to, lmao.

Idk how well it came through, but Stiles is magic and burned his hands while overdoing it in the fight he got injured in. He also totally exploded Nikki’s drink as petty revenge, his herbs are also related to magic.

[coral-nerd]

Okay per request I will do a short rant.

I fully agree with you about the clothing!! I go to the clothing store every chance I get and I feel they really should have more at this point. At this point in the game I have a lot of mini skirt options but not a lot of longer ones, which I really want.

The body types thing was especially confusing when I first started playing because it just seemed so odd to have limited body types, like bodies aren't incredibly varied.

npc's are AMAZING!! I like how the first impressions can leave you thinking about them one way, but by the time you get to a 4 heart event or something your opinion on them has completely flipped. I thought Chaem was gonna be a mean girl when I first met her from her comments, but shes so much fun to talk to and hype up now!! And Eva is sweet as sugar but so determined.

And I especially love the slow pacing of the game. Okay I'm gonna be honest with you, I've had this game from the beginning. I bought it when it was still in Early development mode, I remember when it was a kickstarter trying to surpass goals, the whole thing. And even though I had to restart it for the official 1.0 release, I'm still only at year 2 summer. I like being able to take my time with video games, and also my computer overheats so trying to go fast is liable to have a days worth of work not saved.

And I like what you said about seeing things changing. Personally, I love the tree planting festival the best because doing things like that and seeing progress is so much fun.

Also, as someone who's big on the environmental issues, I like that our big bad is an oil executive! lol!!

Wow this was longer than I thought it would be, whoops. All in all, while it could be better, it's a great game and I can't wait to see where it goes.

Honestly, no notes! You've encapsulated it all so perfectly!

I still haven't found myself particularly interested in Chaem or Eva, but that's what I love about fandom! Everyone will enjoy a different kind of person, and then I get a new point of view and more reasons to like something!

I forget when I joined tbh, just that I spent a lot of time watching youtube videos about it until I finally realised it was a HUGE hyperfixation and I should treat myself to a purchase. The fact that you've been here so long is just--- WOW!

I'm still not sure where I stand on the 1.0 release thing re-setting progress. I really miss my og farmer, but tbh I don't think that guy would like how expanded the world's gotten since then XD

I also have a second file from that time with a good chunk of money that I'm saving foooorr... I dunno, final release ig?? Some farmer down the line is going to have a great start!

I'd really love to hear more about your save as you progress through the next few years/seasons! I've only heard of 1 person who's gone past year 5 at this point, so I think taking it extra slow is the way to go!

[vacantgodling]

1, 3, 4, 8, 15 for the end of year ask game!! :3

hewwo thank you for the ask <3<3

1. what was your writing-highlight this year? what made it special and how will you reflect on it next year?

mentioned this in my writing in review for this year but finishing cage earlier this year really set me on a high note for the rest of the year. i really proved to myself that i can write 80k+ words in a single project; i can finish and fully flesh out a narrative, my dreams are achievable if i really put myself to it.

for a really long time i didn't think i could do it. there's a lot of reasons why i felt that way, but having people who kept up with every chapter, my partner and other friends like valen and multi listening to me rant ad nauseum about my ideas and thoughts, and giving myself permission to do something 'silly' turned out to be such a good decision. so i think next year i'm trying to take that energy into it. i'm writing for myself, my friends and my dick LMAO. but i'm also taking the strategies that i learned (ie: i need a long outline to finish something or i won't p much lol). so next year is really gonna be a planning year! i wanna have more outlines that i can go back and reread and become obsessed about sEUOSDJ

3. did you achieve everything you wanted to this year? if not, how will you go about it?

nah! but tbh i'm okay with it. getting distracted by other wips is just par for the course for me and my brain pfff so i'm not miffed that i got distracted by other things and paramour got put off to the side. i still think about paramour a LOT don't get me wrong; but khizzy and sjaak giving me brain rot is a welcome change.

i also could've never predicted i would get into conlanging--i barely knew what it was (outside of lotr really) but here i am a few months later with a whole baby language on my hands HAHA. i think i'm finally of the mindset that yeah writing is my life's purpose bc it would be meaningless without it, but its also a hobby and i wanna have fun with it <3

4. what is your favourite line you wrote this year?

this is so hard OSCJK thank god multiple people have asked this bc its definitely not just one. perusing through the things i wrote this year, i think one that stands out to me is from draft 3 of btaf (which is the actual Real Prose draft 1 attempt lol. its a whole tier system of me drawing this wip out) but its the first sentence kinda hits and i don't think i wanna change it cuz it sets the tone well:

The cruelest and craftiest of all the Devil’s handiwork—darkness—had descended upon and laid waste to the countryside.

something something, speaks of the savagery that is yet to be revealed later on, makes the wip super moody (the equivalent of the tried and true "dark and stormy night"), and alludes to the time period (cuz we're talking about the devil in deadass the first sentence PFF)

8. what are three things you're looking forward to next year?

i'm gonna be optimistic and say draft 2 (the elongated outline) of btaf will be done--i've been taking a break from it but multi's very sweet sweep of draft 1 has reinvigorated me with brain worms.

i also want to work more on he who smites the sun bc... khizzy beloved. and with that all of the wips from ph -> paramour i want to figure out how they're linked and their outlines etc

and then i think i'm just excited to just be more silly with what i write next year. i wanna get back into my art wips (tmc and broken clouds for instance) and write more smutty shenanigans with bruno and his mess. :D

15. time for shameless self-promotion! answer with a piece of writing you want others to see/read! (if you have nothing posted/published this year, any other year is fine too ^^)

this lore post about tcol which details MIZDARR and MUINENS's first meeting and how the harvest god KIBARUM was born. idk i really love the gods and mythos tcol has i should talk about it more. its not really writing writing but i want people to see it anyway :D

[siriuslysatorusimping]

I just read chapter three of Summer Nights, and remember when we were all talking about Gojo and ADHD? The executive e dysfunction felt strong in that chapter- the way he rationally knew he should stop talking and his mouth just wouldn't listen?? Yeahhhhhhh, that hit the mark.

OOOHHH, RAI.

First, I am excited for you to see part 4 of Summer Nights because we're going to see a bit of that rejection sensitivity that comes with ADHD 👀👀👀 In my experience, it occurs the most when the perceived rejection comes from someone you respect or care about, and uhhhhhh, Gojo respects and cares about Rinko a lot already.

BUT BACK TO PART 3: THE COMPLETE LACK OF IMPULSE CONTROL?? THE AWFUL COLD WATER MOMENT OF REALITY WHEN SOMETHING FORCES YOU TO REALIZE THAT YOUR BRAIN CHEMICALS JUST FUCKED YOU SO HARD??? GOJO FELT THAT.

He really was trying so hard to be a good friend and all sweet and rational and his brain just went 'lol nope. it's horny time."

On another note, I'm really excited to explore how Rinko starts seeing those signs in him more and more as they get closer, being a bit softer with him sometimes when she knows he needs it. Like, I have an installment in mind for once they're dating or married where he's having a really bad day, and she can just tell, so she just cuddles with him and gives him tons of compliments and is all soft and it's just 🥹🥹

Rai, I am so, so glad you sent the idea for a professor au months ago because I really love this dynamic and I'm also excited for your thoughts on Rinko in the next installment. She has a lot of issues of her own, and I feel like the lack of her life being constantly in danger gives a lot of space for her to be a bit more bitter and angry about her father. But at the same time, I think it also leaves a lot of room to explore the fact that she is more similar to Naobito than she wants to admit or believe.

I LOVE HEARING YOUR THOUGHTS ON BRAINS, TBH. IT'S SUPER FUN. ANY TIME YOU WANT TO RANT ABOUT BRAINS, ESPECIALLY GOJO OR RINKO'S BRAINS, PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE 💕💕

[limi-pie]

About the fic YuTae 'Longing or love'

A/N: Hey guys, I thought I should update on you all on what happened to part 2 of the YuTae fic.

I'm sorry that I'm a gaesaekki (asshole/jerk). I know that I said in the reply/comment that part 2 would come out soon but I'M A LIAR, PROCRASTINATER AND I'M SORRY. My bestie has told me that I should at least update you guys on what is going on - so that I don't keep you guys waiting or expecting something for too long! But something as updating and telling my readers what's going on is such an obstacle for me, because I don't really use social media that much aside from scrolling Tik Tok. 💀 Tik Tok addiction is too big, ngl.

Well the number one reason is I just really haven't been in mood to write tbh, even though I'm horny 24/7 and this fic is spicy.

Like I'm just a lazy piece of shit (me) when it comes to reading and correcting my fucking fics, I just hate it and I don't know how to explain this, I've made it a toxic habit to only write fictions before I head to bed, so when I read or write at evening I get sleeply. and associate writing fics with bed time. 💀

Then when I end up writing it's always somehow between 2-4 AM and I re-read it in the morning it's like gibberish and shit 💀

Like my English isn't English-ing 💀

Why do I always create this fucking evil circle of creating and starting new fics and then never updating them or continuing them? 💀 I'm giving myself the biggest bombastic side-eye and I be eyerolling myself so hard🙄 whenever I come across the thought of never updating or continuing any of my fanfics *coughs* TTORW, *coughs* LAB.

I get easily frustrated, overwhelmed and stressed when certain things don't go my way. I'm sighing so hard as I'm writing this ramble of a note or update. Like once I touch the keyboard I can't fucking shut up.

Second reason for not updating is the fact that I'm fighting for my damn love life and I can't move on! 🙄 My stupid crush from work won't take the fucking hint that I'm fucking into him, that fucking bastard. 🙄 Like I like and love him so much but ain't no way am I going to tell him or convey my feelings to him like that. He really thinks that flirting with me privately at work and calling me by my nickname isn't going to let me know that he's totally into me. (I'm so delulu and I know that. But please shut up.🙄)

He's playing hard to get, then he gets easily jealous when I'm joking around with my male colleagues and he is always on his damn phone that asshole! 🙄 Do I really have to make the first move and tell him that I'm into him? No way! Imagine if I did end up confessing he would reject me because he doesn't feel the same or just sees me as a close coworker.

UGH. FUCK LOVE. HONESTLY I'M TIRED, I SHOULD STAY SINGLE AND NOT BOTHER MYSELF WITH THIS COMPLICATED LOVE LIFE. I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS SHIT. Anyways this song is too real and relatable to how I'm feeling about my stupid crush right now.

내 눈앞의 너를 보면 (When I see you before my eyes) 한없이 작아지는 걸 (I feel so infinitely small) 심장이 멎을 것만 같아 (As if my heart could stop any minute) 난 참을 수 없어 (I can’t stand it anymore)

This is all your fault.

Sorry for my random rant about my love life. If I'm being brutally honest, I think the main reason for my delay and procrastination of writing or continuing fanfictions is the fact that I only write fanfictions when I genuinely want to and have the actual energy to do so.🤷‍��️

When I do write it is extremely important that I'm having fun or enjoy the time I'm writing. I hate it when my hobbies suddenly or slowly turn into obligations or chores that I 'must' complete.🕴

After all, writing fanfictions is a hidden passion and hobby to me, I don't write to gain popularity or to build a fanbase, I just like the idea of fantasizing, writing feelings, making unsual or exciting plots and and creating fake scenarios within the Kpop fandom. I post what I think would be a fun or entertaining piece of work to read through. I don't write and post fanfics to gain clout or expect 5K notes on each fic. (Not that it is wrong if you write fanfictions for that reason, to each their own💗)

I also like the idea of making Y/N more diverse or unique, as someone who is of South East Asian descent, I like making Y/N Asian or mixed Asian. I love creating chaotic, funny or relatable Y/N moments to my fellow pocs or even non-pocs.

Lastly, I want to say a huge thank you for reading my fanfictions despite the fact that I don't update them. I want to thank you for scrolling/skipping through my fics just to read your favorite parts or certain lines, even if it's for the small parts that you enjoy in my fics.

I highly appreciate the fact that people even come across my fictions. Even if you don't end up reading through the whole thing, I am super thankful for you just taking a look at it or even saving it in your drafts. Thank you for the likes, comments and support for my fanfictions. Thank you for your patience and kindness.💞 

Sorry for rambling, anyways I had to explain myself for delaying my fic and I have probably repeated myself multiple times, sorry. As soon as I've posted this author's note, I will take a look at (Lol aka longing or love) and try to check what I'm missing and try to write on it. Sometimes you just run out of inspiration and that's okay too, but I hate keeping people waiting so I'll look and work on it little by by little.

– Author L. out ✌️

[whomst-the-hell]

how i would rewrite the star wars sequel trilogy except i am not infallible, this is just for fun, leave me alone

this is part actual rewrite outline, part rant, and ive had it sitting in my notes app for like 9 months so here

1. the republic, led by a new senate including leia, is at large. they are not the underdogs. this will not erase the victories of the original trilogy. The first order are a smaller neo-nazi esque terrorist group gaining support across the galaxy which must be stopped before it is able to take root (relevant to modern politics)

2. finn’s storyline in tfa is perfect. we don’t change it. poe is also fine, except instead of being a rebellion (or whatever they were called) pilot he’s in the republic airforce. tbh from memory tfa is fine. i’d maybe make jakku something other than a desert planet so the parallels are a bit less heavy handed, but thats really nitpicky. even kylo was good in this film. so tfa can stay mostly the same EXCEPT finn’s past as a stormtrooper (are they still called stormtroopers?) is not played for laughs, he was not a janitor! (that didnt even make sense after the first scene where he kills a bunch of people? wtf??)

3. the last jedi: the first major problem area. the first order launches an attack, and is receiving information abt republic movements against them somehow, but poe still manages to wrestle a victory out of the encounter, so the higher ups of the republic entrust him to investigate the spyware (it made no fucking sense to be angry w him in the original, he squeezed out a massive victory with relatively minimal losses, so thats changed now). rey is sent to find luke, who has retreated from the republic after kylo slaughtered his padawans. instead of completely erasing all of lukes key traits (kindness, hope, forgiveness) we choose to not do that. luke did not try to kill kylo (forgave darth vader but not a literal child? sure.) and tried to keep him on the path of light but failed, so has retreated to reconnect with the roots of jedi philosophy to better understand the nature of light and dark, perhaps with the hope of still saving his nephew. he has been studying old jedi texts, which we actually spend time on? and are able to learn about?? maybe address some issues of the old jedi order (were curtailed by bureaucracy/senate corruption, and as such were often forced to accept the lesser of two evils instead of being able to do true good ie the situation w the clones, which led in many cases to a rise in the darkside (quinlan, barriss, anakin, etc)). luke still burns the texts with yoda’s encouragement, but swears to apply the knowledge he gained to revitalise the force and its traditions. rey and luke embark on a quest of some kind while she learns so that rey’s entire storyline isnt just babysitting luke, and we see her grow in the force gradually as luke teaches her the things he learned from the jedi texts. sprinkle in clues that rey’s parents were sith (NOT PALPATINE, different sith, it made no fucking sense that her grandfather was palpatine. her parents were sith to contrast kylo and to mirror luke) meanwhile poe, finn and rose, who poe specifically recruited for this mission bc shes a crackshot mechanic but who has interpersonal issues w poe after the dearh of her sister in that first encounter, go to that casino to get the hacker to infiltrate the first order and destroy their spyware. rey also infiltrates the first order after her quest w luke. she and kylo kill snoke, and kylo begins questioning his allegiance (this is NOT ROMANTIC. kylo is a little CREEP and a NEONAZI and WILL NOT GET THE GIRL. rey will not become a plot device in kylos redemption). kylo and luke eventually duel, and luke dies, as a distraction so that republic forces can evacuate civilians who were being held hostage. the republic defeats the group, and vows to eliminate the entire first order, now with the assurance that the first order spyware has been eliminated

4. rise of skywalker: rey finds out abt her sith parents, uses force lightning, causes internal struggle. this movie was truly such garbage that idk what else there is to salvage uhhhh,,, PALPATINE DOES NOT RETURN WTF??? i dont even really want rey’s new sith parents to be introduced… the first order retreats to a hidden sith planet after their defeat in the last movie, kylo takes over the first order entirely maybe?, though he is beginning to question himself, partially because he has a NONROMANTIC (!!!) force bond with rey who he sees learning from his mum leia, filling him with nostalgia and shame at how hes turned out (he is haunted by happy childhood memories lmao) (his redemption is mostly motivated by his parents, and triggered by rey, as a reversal of the luke/vader dynamic). meanwhile, poe+finn+rey are looking for the sith wayfinder to locate the hidden base, which causes various shenanigans, in the typical manner. (this is the A PLOT!!!). they return successful to the republic seat of power to create a plan. kylo leaves his super secret base and seeks out rey with some soldiers (if theyre the knights of ren explain wtf that means bc tbh i dont actually know) to prove to himself his conviction in the darkside but is thrown off by leia’s death at the hands of his soldiers, which triggers more childhood memories and a dream-vision-force-ghost-whatever conversation with the memory of his father. ultimately, he returns to the light and re-becomes ben solo. rey’s internal struggle in the face of her heritage comes to a head as she contemplates killing the unconscious kylo ren, but she senses the good in him, and in honour of both luke and leia + as a demonstration of her own rejection of the dark side, chooses instead to heal him. ben and rey DO NOT KISS EVER, ben joins up w the republic in the final battle to take out the last of the first order — if you still want redemption by death he can sacrifice himself in battle, but i would have him survive and vow to atone for his wrongs after a meaningful conversation with finn about the longstanding nature of redemption via action, eventually tagging along with rey to tatooine where they bury luke and leia’s lightsabers as the new holders of the skywalker legacy, perhaps even accompanied by finn poe and rose, on a mission to do good in the universe, unfettered by institution, working parallel to but not directly under the republic govt, in accordance with luke’s jedi teachings which rey endeavours to share with ben (and maybe finn bc iirc it was implied he was force sensitive so itd really cement their parallels, aswell as the birth of a new jedi order)

5. additional notes:

put more focus on the relationship between rey finn and poe — even when they aren’t physically together have them talk to/about each other, really show that they care and are close friends.

explore the parallels between finn and ben, with finn reaching self actualisation way earlier and acting as a foil to kylo then a guide to ben.

give rey wayyy more agency in the later films, and maintain focus on her and her arc (kylos redemption supports her internal struggle and determination to spread light and goodness, not the other way around) (i realise i talked alot abt kylo’s redemption in this post which might seem contradictory but there was just more to fix there than there was other stuff).

explore the dynamic between rose and poe, the effects of rose’s loss and her overcoming her own resentment to honour her sister’s sacrifice and process her grief, bonding with poe in the process (maybe show her comforting him after leia’s passing) (possibly parallel luke) which will make rose feel less like a superficial character i think.

let finn be a sincere character and not the butt of the joke, and acknowledge his journey and his redemption arc.

dont completely butcher the characters from the og trilogy?

i think thats it yeah

[formulaford2022]

Alright, I've had a very busy weekend, but an absolutely free Sunday, so I'm ready for a full day of racing. I caught a little bit of the 24 hours of le Mans yesterday, but I don't know too much about WEC to be able to comment anything lol. I'm really sad I missed the first two F1 Academy races but I am very happy that I am able to catch the third race. There was a lot of safety cars oh my goodness. Amazing drive for Maya Weug coming from 15 to 5. Good race by Chloe Chambers. A Chambers, Lloyd, and Pin podium is pretty good. I'm a little upset about Lia Block and Aurelia Nobels crash, but what can you do. (races watched: 1 Cups of tea had: 1)

On to F1, my first thought of the day is: why do bad things always happen to Alex Albon. He will have the best practices of his life, have an issue during quali, come out in Q3 and then have the worst race of his life every race. I so hope that George Russell wins this race because that would be so important to me, but if its not him, Oscar Piastri better pull off a masterclass. This race is simultaneously stressing me out and also is incredibly boring. An Alex Albon retirement, my goodness this is not a good day for Williams. (actually Carlos Sainz is in the points.) However this is a pretty good day for Esteban Ocon. Good for him. Also Lance Stroll getting a penalty at his home gp is something else. The Mercedes engine needs to step up this season. I can believe the McLarens are fighting. My goat comes out on top though. Honestly though, rip Lando Norris's race; he was putting in a good drive. Good drive by George Rusell to win. Good job to Kimi Antonelli, the third youngest ever podium sitter in F1 and also driver of the day. (races watched: 2 cups of tea drank: 3)

On to my first Indy NXT race of the season (unfortunately), Caio Collet passes Dennis Hauger early on which is awesome. I don't dislike Hauger, but he never really did anything in his junior career to grab my attention over in europe, that tbh his dominance here is just annoying. (Although I guess Caio Collet did the same thing just without the dominance.) Lochie Hughes move on Salvador de Alba was great. Also side note, I love Kevin Lee and I really wish they would have given him the Indycar job over Will Buxton. (But also I would miss him here). Lochie Hughes' drive to first position was amazing. Lochie Hughes, Caio Collet, and Myles Rowe would be a great podium stop the race here (although Rowe could pass Collet). Rowe passed Collet!!! (Writing these in real time is so much fun). Indy NXT continues to prove why it is the best racing series on earth. Best race I've seen today. Great drive by Lochie Hughes. Wow. What a race. (Races watched: 3 Cups of tea: 4)

Time for the best time of the day: Indycar time! What do the ovals have against scotty mac????? David Malukas taking the lead from Will Power after being yelled at him here last year, that's so slay. One thing about ovals is that they are going to have cautions. (I fear my review today feels very disconnected and all over the place, but tbh I cannot just make several smaller posts so if you read this I'm sorry.) (Josef Newgarden needs to lock in. He needs to lock in right now. If I go a season without a Newgarden win (or a Scott Dixon win) I am going to lose it). Conor Daly is doing something illegal I can feel it in my bones; there is no way he is just doing all that and moving up so many positions. Genuinely what the heck I am so confused. Defrancesco is going back in the race??? First Lewis Hamilton and the ground hog and now Devlin took out a camera man???? (Allegedly). (I'm glad the camera man is okay). (A slight off topic rant: I think the whole David Malukas rumors are about the fact that Will Power was discussing retirement so heavily while his wife was sick. I wonder if Power is still putting retirement on the table to spend more time with his wife and son and is considering retirement next year/the year after. I don't think Malukas is taking Power's job and Power will just be out, I bet Malukas's contract will start when Power retires, which based on the way he speaks, will be sooner rather than later).

Oh thank goodness Newgarden passed Daly back. (the way this indycar part is way longer than all the rest; I love this sport so much). Dang Power just went into the wall. It doesn't look bad at all though. (nvm he's out). The cut from Rasmussen's car being on fire to the beach boys song before the commerical break was comedic gold. Really glad the fire put itself out. The sunset is gorgeous oh my goodness. Kinda makes me wish I was outside and not watching this race, but alas, I am in my pajamas. That was a horrifying crash for Josef Newgarden. I am so glad that he and Louis Foster were okay. The way indycar drivers pull out of their pit box stresses me out. (They all got penalized lol glad Indycar agrees with me).

Once again what in the world is Conor daly doing here. He's leading the race???? Who is this guy???? Man decided to lock in like 10 years into his career. Ferrucci needs to stay away from Colton Herta. This race feels insanely long we have 100 laps left and I've been sitting here for almost two hours already. Scott Dixon came out of nowhere my goodness. Last year I had a theory that if there was not a clear choice of who was gonna win the race, the winner will be Dixon and I stand by that. I fear that this is Penske karma or something because how are all three cars out. I need them to lock in where is the Penske dominance. (Side note I am fighting for my life to stay away rn). I'm so traumatized from Colton Herta that I was so shocked that Kyle Kirkwood's pitstop didn't end in misery and a thrown race. Get Ferrucci out of here I am so scared right now. If the winner isn't Kirkwood, O'ward, Dixon or Ilott (?) I don’t want it. Kyle lapping Colton I cannot take it. An Ilott win would've gone so hard but a Kyle Kirkwood first oval win would go so much harder. Let's gooooooooo! I have not been this stressed about a race finish since last years Indy 500. Kyle Kirkwood wins his third race of the year. Let's gooo! (Races watched: 4 cups of tea drank: 6 pieces of my laptop case that have broken off since I started writing this post: 2)

[lazzarella]

It's now been six months since I started my journey into Asian BL series*, and there's nothing I like more than making lists and procrastinating (with a dash of navel gazing), so I'm here to ramble a bit haha (okay this got really long 😅)

*I did realise later that I had watched the movie cut of Wish You some time back, but I'm not counting it :P

I posted an overall top 10 when I hit 40, I think, but here's my updated version:

1. My Personal Weatherman and Moonlight Chicken tied for first place :P

2. KinnPorsche

3. Cherry Magic (Thailand)

4. Wandee Goodday

5. Boys Be Brave!

6. Old Fashion Cupcake

7. A Tale Of Thousand Stars

8. Cherry Magic (Japan)

9. We Are

10. Only Friends and Jack O' Frost tied for 10th place because I can't decide

Now for the navel gazing:

So, I had heard of some of these shows for a while, but I was dumb and couldn't figure out how to watch them XD then, someone on Reddit asked for recs for gay period dramas, and another person recommended I Feel You Linger in the Air to them (I still haven't finished this) and that sent me down a rabbit hole, which eventually led to me watching Moonlight Chicken at the end of January. I was super anxious and depressed at the time (compared to my usual levels of depression and anxiety) and it was exactly the balm I needed! And then I proceeded to watch 49 more shows in the following six months lmao

Also, as much as I sometimes love a sad love story, I was getting frustrated that so many queer romance movies were ending with the main couple apart—maybe everyone wants to make their own version of Weekend, I don’t know haha (Sidenote: I swear there were more HEA in 90s/00s queer films but maybe that was selection bias) Like, don't get me wrong, they're basically all made by queer creators, and I don't want to police what they make (I have a whole rant about this, but I'll save it for another day...or my drafts lol) But as a rom-com lover I was getting bored of watching the same 10 movies/shows over and over for my HEA lmao so, delving into Asian BL series where the majority seem to have happy endings??? Omg, it's been HEAVEN!

As far as adjusting, there wasn't really much to do. I only note this, because a few people I've chatted to elsewhere seemed to treat it like I was delving into completely new territory or something??

Anything that isn't just your standard rom-com or romance trope, I was probably familiar with due to many years in transformative fandom. And the things I wasn't familiar with were mostly cultural things (which I'm still learning about) or different stylistic choices (like the sound effects, which I love). The fandom culture, though, has been a little more of an adjustment, especially the fan service and fixed couples (I think this is a super cute idea, tbh—it feels like watching the gay Fred and Ginger or Myrna Loy and William Powell et al, you know? By the by, Loy and Powell made 13 films together!)

I think overall I'm more drawn to Thai series, but the Japanese ones, when they hit emotionally, they hit like nothing else. Like nothing I've ever watched really. I think it's the way they do longing and yearning combined with feelings of low self worth that's just sooooooo good and delicious to me. But, yeah, there's something about the Thai series that I'm really drawn to! I've started watching more Thai movies in general and listening to Thai music and, I don't know, I enjoy it all. I still need to delve into Taiwan and other countries, though

I've had so much fun with the series I've watched and learning little bits of different cultures and I'm excited to keep going and make my way through my intimidatingly long watchlist lol It's been hard not to let other people's opinions get me down, though—I've felt less embarrassed about enjoying rom coms on Letterboxd than I have since poking my head into BL spaces, but... I don't think I'll dwell on that XD

Anyway, here are all of the series I've watched ranked by country under the cut(an idea I borrowed from @/dramalets)

Thailand (average rating: 8.4)

1. Moonlight Chicken

2. KinnPorsche

3. Cherry Magic

4. Wandee Goodday

5. A Tale of Thousand Stars

6. Only Friends

7. We Are

8. Cupid's Last Wish

9. Manner of Death

10. Laws of Attraction

11. Vice Versa

12. Last Twilight

13. Enchanté

14. A Boss and a Babe

15. Lovely Writer

16. The Sign

17. Hidden Agenda

18. Bad Buddy

19. Not Me

20. Theory of Love

21. To Be Continued

22. Sky In Your Heart

Japan (average rating: 8.2)

(Using the English titles)

1. My Personal Weatherman

2. Old Fashion Cupcake

3. What Did You Eat Yesterday?

4. Jack O' Frost

5. Cherry Magic etc

6. My Beautiful Man

7. Love is Better the Second Time Around

8. Ossan's Love

9. Perfect Propose

10. My Love Mix-Up

11. Candy Color Paradox

12. I Cannot Reach You

13. Mr Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss

South Korea (average rating: 7.6)

1. Boys Be Brave

2. Blueming

3. Semantic Error

4. Love for Love's Sake

5. Choco Milk Shake

6. The New Employee

7. Love Tractor

8. Our Dating Sim

9. Bon Appetit

10. Roommates of Poongduck 304

11. The Director Who Buys Me Dinner

12. Love Class

13. Cherry Blossoms After Winter

14. Kissable Lips

And I'm currently watching:

Love Sea; Meet You at the Blossom; Only Boo!; The Trainee; This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans

[zhuzhudushu]

Learn Chinese with a TV Series ★★★1/2

So I just finished Leila老师's new online course, and overall I think it was a good experience and I learned some new vocabulary and listening practice. See a shorter review on my resources page!

What is Learn Chinese with TV Series?

It's an online learning platform based on the first 5 episodes of 开端 Reset, a c-drama that released January 2022. The course is based on 700+ words of HSK 4+ vocabulary used in the series and includes PDF dictionaries with time stamps of the words in the show, grammar notes, various vocab and grammar activities, listening quizzes, and short scripts for shadowing practice. Leila_laoshi instagram here Description of the course here

Price: (as of 6/26/22)

Two Month access - $29 One Year access - $35

TL:DR Review

100% worth the price, but you absolutely need to be MINIMUM HSK 4 level to benefit from this course. Tbh I would probably recommend HSK 5. As someone who thought I was solid HSK 4, this was a struggle and there were many words that I didn't know that were not included in the PDF dictionaries (I mean like 25 per episode, if not double that). I feel like I retained... maybe 100 words, if I'm being generous, but it felt more functional and more fun than just memorizing straight from a textbook or flashcards. The most benefit for me was listening practice as this drama wasn't dubbed and had various accents, and the non-quiz style activities on her learning platform. If you like quiz-style learning, like c-dramas, and want more listening practice, this is for you.

Full Review Below:

I want to start by saying I do think this was worth the money and the time, and I definitely got benefit out of it. This is probably going to turn into mostly ranting because this course made me feel STUPID AF and that makes me frustrated. HOWEVER I do think this is a good course, and I did learn a lot.

That said, I won't do this again even if she offers more courses until I am done with HSK 5. I was hoping that this would boost me to HSK 5, but I don't think it did that unfortunately.

Pros:

Vocabulary lists with time stamps are helpful and color-coded based on HSK level (the old hsk system, obviously)

The vocabulary builder activities and quizlets were what I used the most and helped a lot with my learning

The lesson activities are split up into groups and took less than an hour each

The show isn't dubbed so it has real life speech in various accents (including Shanghai)

The plot of the show is exciting and engaging; the acting is good

Cons:

Most activities were quiz-style (which I personally hate) and only allow 3 attempts/wrong answers and you can't go back and start over (there are no grades, tho)

Re quiz learning: True/false and fill-in-the-blank quizzes were often misleading and it led to me performing poorly (see below for details)

Shadowing scripts were short (<5 mins)

The PDF dictionaries got progressively shorter meaning that I had to do WAY more work for Ep 4 & 5 than previous episodes (see below for details)

My biggest issue, and why I would not do another course until I am solidly HSK 5, is the last bullet. As HSK 4 (with some HSK5 studying), each episode, which are 40 mins a piece, took about 4 hours for me to go through. Keep in mind I was being excessively in-depth and would stop, repeat, and write down every single character/word I didn't know if it wasn't on the PDF dictionary. However, Episode 3 was easier and only took about 2 hours, and I was excited because I was learning and retaining and she listed most of the words I needed.

In episode 4, though, this changed. Her first two dictionaries have 150+ words, but Episode 4 and 5 have 70 and 100 words, respectively. However, the episode's vocab difficulty didn't go down with it. The PDF dictionaries left out a lot of words. In Ep 5 for example, I had to write down 44 more words than what she had listed, including words like 实质 (HSK 6), 台阶 (HSK5), 持续 (HSK 5), 毕竟 (HSK 5) and I could keep going... Basically, I needed a 144 word dictionary, which would reflect the first two episode's dictionaries. It was disheartening and made the episode way longer than it needed to be.

With the activities, for the most part I liked them and when I retained vocabulary well, it was nice to get to apply it and get things right. But they are quiz style, and I'm not a fan of that for the same reasons why I hate Duolingo: sometimes my answer isn't wrong, but it's not what they were looking for. This happened a lot, especially in Ep 4's activities where they gave you a bunch of characters and you had to build a sentence independently. I even sent my answer to Chinese friends and they were like "well your answer is right, but it could also be this" and of course that was the right answer... I HATE THAT it's why I stopped Duolingo over a year ago. I don't like being told I'm wrong when I'm not wrong.

There were also quite a few listening practice true/false questions I got wrong because what the character said in the dialogue was not accurate information. It was a listening practice, so I thought we were supposed to give the answer we heard, even if that answer was not factual (there's a lot of investigative scenes and interrogations where characters lie, etc). Sometimes these t/f questions wanted the Truth, and sometimes they wanted What You Hear.

There were also quite a few fill-in-the-blank sentences where there were so many blanks it felt impossible to fill them them in without context (which wasn't given). There were also some sentences with missing punctuation so it seemed like one long sentence, when it was actually 2 phrases and needed a comma/period, which led me to misunderstand and get quite a few wrong. Also a lot of the blanks had answers that were vocabulary NOT from the pdf dictionaries which was annoying because they weren't words I had specifically studied.

As a perfectionist who wants to feel good about assignments and get good "grades", these issues made quiz-style learning frustrating... If this were graded, I would've failed this course because of these quizzes. (I'm not exaggerating, I got 33/50 (66%) on the Episode 5 vocab section and I cheated on the last 5)

Basically, all the quiz-style learning did was make me feel like shit for not retaining 150 words per episode, which isn't humanly possible anyway.

So there are definitely some bumps both in the dictionaries and in the quizzes, but overall the listening practice (minus t/f questions) were wonderful and the best part of the lessons in my opinion. The lessons (not quizzes) going over grammar and functional phrases were also really great! These were the most enjoyable parts for me, along with when I would re-watch the episode without English subtitles and practice my listening. It was 10x more fun than a textbook, book, flashcards/Anki and for the most part the drama's plot was engaging.

Another major bonus, and why I don't regret this course and why I would consider doing it again once I'm a higher level is that I feel that my auditory recognition is significantly better now. I did this course because I wanted some listening practice, but mostly because I wanted to bump my knowledge up to really be HSK 5. I don't think I did that at all (I maybe learned 100 words from this course that I actually retained). However...

My ability to recognize tones in sentences, hear where one syllables ends and the next one starts, recognizing non-standard consonants are way better now. I wasn't expecting this, but even over a week after finishing this course I feel that my ability to keep up when listening to sentences is still improved.

Is it worth the price?

If you are HSK 5+, absolutely, yes. For the most part it's fun and the price is very fair, if not under-priced, for the amount of content. If you are not easily frustrated with making mistakes and quiz-style learning and willing to do extra work, it's worth it for HSK 4 as well.

How long did it take you?

I started the first week of May and finished the last week of June. I did one lesson per week and watched each episodes twice all the way through (with a week break because I went to the beach).

Would I do it again?

Not until I am done with HSK 5, no.

[spikeymarshmallows]

Fic Reading - Jan 2023

I used to write, and thus posted "Writing Updates" each month. I'm now onto like... year fucking THREE of a writers block that is destroying my soul.

But someone suggested to find different ways to enjoy fandom. I have a few friends that track their fic reading so... I'm giving it a shot. I'm also gonna add some fic-recs because I think that's important :) Where possible, I'm gonna TRY to rec fics that I don't see all over the place, getting rec'd left-right-and-centre, or I simply think are spectacular.

Jan 2023

Total words read: 580 961 Fics read: 75 Podfics listened to: 6 Did not finish: 9 Rereads: 12

*

Recs for the month:

I'll Be the Shadow, You'll Be the Light by jesskier - 60k, explicit - a 10-part really fun, sexy, at times angsty kink series. It plays heavy on the kinks, which I LOVE, with the aftercare and the complexities of feelings being so strong and just... it feels very real, you know? But also, it's hot as hell. I've reread some of this series 5+ times. Oops??

Eddie Munson and the Dreamboy by pukner - 8k, not rated - Look, I am a slut for anything pukner writes. "took you for a working boy" is one of my favourite fics. But EM and the Dreamboy just.... wrecks me. Features baby!Steve in teddy bear socks that makes both Eddie and I want to eat drywall.

On the Frozen Lake, Jagged and Beautiful - by kayeslin - 74k, explicit - I haven't finished this fic because I am listening to the ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE PODFIC. This is a fun fic, and Eddie makes Steve solve DnD style riddles every time he sells him weed. It's just... it's just fucking great, and you should all gobble it up.

international garbage man, i've decided that's what i am - by fenellacapella - 7k, explicit - so for those that know me, I really fucking love kink that... IDK, plays hard? that isn't just the standard "handcuffs and spanking" (I mean, I love those too! but I ReALLY love things that get a bit different too). This fic does that. The shower sex... face slapping... lowkey sexy-drowning-steve-with-a-showerhead... yeah, that's my kink. the Via Chicago series is great, tbh. >:)

Dustin Henderson and the Lovebirds - by pukner - 9.7k, not rated - Look, I'll try not to rant and rave about how amazing pukner is EVERY time I put together a rec list, but like, they never miss. They never. fucking. miss. This fic just gets you in the happiest spots and makes the world a little brighter.

*

Fics I'm "keeping my eye on" (ie, they're WIPs but hot DAMN do I fucking love them):

dumb bunny, I'm wild for you by honeyvenom - 13.9k, WIP, explicit - I've written in my notes "Steve is a subby baby, and Eddie offers to platonic Dom him. It has a dark non-con fantasy, and the whole thing is REALLY REALLY GOOD, HOLY SHIT". So uh, that's my rec lol.

A Year in the Life of Chip Harrington - by courfeyrac and sourpastels - 51k, WIP, mature - I haven't read the most recent chapters because brain function? Haven't heard of her. BUT the first two chapters are just GREAT and this fic just feels like a warm hug in your heart. Based on the tags, I don't think it'll emotionally cripple me either, so yay!!

getting lost in the dark is my favorite part - by QueerOnTilMorning - 18k, WIP, explicit - AHHHHHH. Eddie decides to go be rid of his pesky virginity post-S4, and look, there is a scene that makes you wanna DIE (of embarrassment. for Eddie). But it's SO GOOD and has Steve and Eddie uh... learning things about themselves heh.

Trouble Looks Good on You - by indelicate - 25k, WIP, explicit - Steve is Strong and Eddie is a chaotic gremlin who likes to launch himself at Steve. There are ~awakenings~ and honestly, the author is REALLY fucking good at writing their sexual tension, holy shit.

*

Goals for Feb 2023 Reading:

Read a (Stranger Things) fic 4+ months old, with fewer than 500 kudos

Read a fic with >80k words

Cross off 25 tasks in the Fanfic Reading Challenge

(2 AU categories, 2 Author categories, 4 Content tasks, 1 Minority task, 5 Fic Type tasks, 3 Numbers tasks, 1 Ships tasks, 1 Titles category, 3 Tropes tasks)

*

Got any steddie recs I should read? (I ask, as if my TBR list isn't >250 fics now...). I'm particularly into podfics right now, and will hopefully be putting together a good list of those in the future too!

[earthflaxmachina]

1 dere(k)volution

P: heres to the first of the second try at ramble posting on tumblr. instead of random rants, these posts will be centered around some kind of oc meta. also this time i have a co-host of sorts to keep it interesting because i am a dull turd.

D: It’s Derek.

P: cool. the topic for discussion today is the evolution of derek. but like the concept of derek. not this derek’s canon character development or whatever. to start by looking at the first ever image of derek that i scrolled through my camera for 10 minutes to find.

(from 2/2019)

if you didnt know already, his name was Dolan at first. the name Derek is fairly recent.

D: Dolan. What an ugly nerd name.

P: right. also. his design was based off a bottle of water i found at the grocery store. back then i had a weird tendency to draw very thin necks for some reason. along with very short torsos and long legs. so thats why the proportions look really weird.

D: That explains why you draw really thick necks now to compensate. Hahaha.

P: basically the beta concept for his story was that he lived in Hell and had an incredibly powerful wand that he inherited by accident after getting lost in the snowy woods or something. (Dolan) didnt really know what kind of responsibilities came with the wand and consistently wanted to become a magician (not fantasy kinda magic... like card tricks kind of magic) and misused the wand for trivial things such as taking a shortcut to the grocery store.

D: So I’ve been a amateur magician since birth!

P: yes. its incredible how youve stayed an amateur for this long. fun fact: harlow was also created at a similar time and was exes with one of luciano’s brothers. wow. the prosciuttoverse was a cesspool back then. a furry world PLUS heaven/hell setting? get outta here.

D: Harlow was also my love interest for quite some time!

(from 4/2019)

P: yeah. maybe we’ll do a commentary on harlow’s evolution at some point.

D: God I had such a weirdly-shaped head.

P: lets look at some other pics of dolan.

(renewed ref, from 5/2019)

(from 1/2020)

P: nothing more to note other than the fact that i remember writing a lot about you having a nice butt on your charahub/toyhouse profiles. despite the fact that your butt is pretty mundane in the evidence provided. god what the hell is that shading.

D: Ah I look so young and happy.

P: right i think dolan was meant to be in his early 20s. like literally every other oc i had at the time. next, the start of 2021 was when i revamped/redesigned dolan.

(from 2/2021 and 3/2021 respectively)

P: theres the first ever image of human derek and harlow. not much has changed tbh

D: We look like a lesbian couple.

P: the story concept was also pretty different from the original. basically i made a whole hierarchy for both heaven and hell and the world was completely extinct so everyone was either in heaven or hell. the world itself was the wence boys’ world. so the story wouldve taken place way way in the future. blah blah blah something about heaven being evil or corrupt or something corny like that, and dolan (being half devil/angel what a cliche) wanted to change The System (tm). also he was running a campaign 2 be ruler of hell or something as part of his plan. maybe he was evil maybe he wasnt idk. its old corny stuff.

D: Sounds like boring philosophical politics. Bluh bluh.

P: yeah. anyways timeskip to later in the year when i completely revamped your story AGAIN! ill try to limit the pictures from now on because im almost at the max 10.

(from 7/2021)

D: Look at me and my pronounce!

P: so at this point. there was a heaven/hell but it wasnt the main setting it just existed. there was an office kinda deal going on for the admin stuff. a dead persons soul could either be reincarnated in heaven/hell or destroyed iirc. there were 4 different departments because people die all the time so they categorized them. dolan had the biggest department because it was Death by natural causes/accidents. the 3 other were Pestilence (disease), War (conflict or generally murder), Famine. at this time i changed dolan’s name to Death because he was literally the grim reaper. he also wasnt God at this time. there was still some kind of higher power i think it was Stig. harlow was human and also lesbian now. nothing else interesting.

D: So when did I become Derek?

P: I dunno. some time after my birthday? when i started the storyline where you became human for a bit and needed a human name for Death. then i just got tired of calling you Death and stuck with Derek because it is better in every way.

D: Excellent judgement.

(from 28/10/2021)

P: this was probably the start of the all New and Improved derek storyline. the rest is pretty streamline from here and doesnt really need a recap.

D: Woof look how sweet and well-adjusted I looked back then! And that tiny nose.

P: yeah you still had some humanity (pupils) in your eyes. and still had the square glasses thing going on. eugh. waitwaitwait lets look at the first time i drew you and rumi lol

(from 11/2021)

D: We were so in love.

P: wow you guys have changed a LOT since then. for one: you were probably never that sweet to her. and she hates your guts now. 

D: If I had any!

P: alright. that concludes this ramble on THE EVOLUTION OF DEREK

D: DERE(K)VOLUTION

P: that sounds stupid. welp. i will probably make a poll on whose meta we should recap next - because i am always looking for an excuse to make a google form. or just send smth to the askbox. i dont care. bye

D: Goodbye friends!

[scumlafeccia]

Ho postato 9.789 volte nel 2022

Sono 6.376 post in più del 2021!

364 post creati (4%)

9.425 post rebloggati (96%)

Blog che ho rebloggato di più:

@cisgenderenemy

@bakerstreetdoctor

@rad-fire-vixen

@feminescu

Ho taggato 1.020 dei miei post nel 2022

#personal - 103 post

#lella rants - 82 post

#lella speaks - 57 post

#answered - 56 post

#reference - 51 post

#radfems do interact - 32 post

#radfem safe - 26 post

#radblr - 18 post

#gender nonsense - 10 post

#resources - 9 post

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i'm currently watching s*pern*tural and istfg after i'm done with this i need to watch something that doesn't pass the reverse bechdel test

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

having mixed feelings about that tiktok/ig reels trend abt laughing at 2000s/2010s fashion trends because in one hand they're absolutely hilarious but on the other hand they're like the worst. they highlight how feminine trends are bound to be obsolete in a few years while masculine ones stay more or less the same (I've seen a few about teenage boys but they're only about like slang or jokes, not about clothes or style), and also the complete lack of self awareness. yes frying your hair to get the perfect emo bang or covering your face in orange tanner was bad, but it's not like you grew past them, you just adapted to new trends, and in a couple of years either you or younger girls will be making fun of what you're doing now

76 note - Postate 30 giugno 2022

#4

the fact that Italian is not a gender neutral language really does highlight the sexism of the gender movement here. why would u make "sister" neutral but not "brother"? why would you write "woman" gender neutral but not "man"? why would you post a picture of female partisans and caption it "dead for freedom" while making "dead" neutral instead of feminine when you would never do the same with a picture of men? why is it? why is manhood well defined but womanhood has to be inclusive?

118 note - Postate 25 aprile 2022

#3

"for personal reasons or for impossibility in completing their transition journey, hrt, or surgery, a lot of people find themselves still having their menstrual cycle"

it's almost like the female body, while healthy, is usually supposed to have a period no matter how the woman person chooses to call herself themselves

135 note - Postate 3 maggio 2022

#2

I go to class and the few people I talk to before lecture casually go "hey look at that person there, they're dressed peculiarly, lmao nonbinary vibes", and i play dnd and my character is butch and another player goes "genderqueer icon!" and I talk to girls who casually tell they bind unsafely and for too long like it's no big deal, and the country's PM is a bigot catholic woman who wants to be addressed with the male noun for president and everybody laughs at it and jokes "lmao this transphobic person came out as trans" and I open IG and there's the lesbian/bi gnc girl from my high school posting a/lok and his stupid quotes on how being a man and wearing a dress but wanting to be called as something else than a man somehow makes him more progressive and special and magic and one of my friend's roommate has started using the neutral (ə) to talk about herself around the same time she shaved her mullet into a buzzcut and old online friends get pissy if people "misgender" them even when they're so "clearly q***r and gnc" (aka they are wearing tik tok fashion or casual "masc" clothes) and feminist pages use the neutral to talk about everything except tims and idk it's the emperor's naked while everybody's buying fashion magazines with his nudes all over and discussing the stilish clothes and the rich fabrics and the innovative looks

204 note - Postate 9 novembre 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

not a fan of the q slur discourse tbh, but I recently realized that if I had to translate it in Italian, there is no way it would be the equivalent of "bizzarre" or "weird", the only word used both as "different" and "homosexual" is deviato (deviant) and I'd much rather be punched in the teeth than to be called that

825 note - Postate 29 maggio 2022

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[morathicain]

L M A O mora that teaser really was a trap💀 no but really i don’t even know where to begin? this show has been such a breath of fresh air from beginning to end and that just warms me to my core. and it’s like, if we got angst or an actual breakup this ep i still would’ve ate it up cuz it’s p’aof and i doubt he’d let us down w his storytelling, but we got happiness instead! we got to see that they spent those 4 years still very much together and very much in love and i just!! to know that pran & pat faced their problems together, to know that after getting together they stayed a healthy couple, even through the tough times? i’m soaring rn i swear. and i love me my angsty dramas (especially when they’re done well) but we need more of these feel good shows too!! shows where the couple is happy and don’t have to lose more time/years to misfortune or hurt or whatever! ahhhh😭

and inkpa! ink’s basically a part of their family at this point like seeing how comfortable she looked in their home?? my heart! also side note but pran looks so good!! i mean he always does but this hairstyle on him! cuz when they were in the bar? idk what they were feeding him but he looked Good As Hell i’m losing my minddd.

and???? that scene in [4/4] when pran’s playing guitar for pat had me ready to collapse like they’re so in love i can’t do this! there’s literally only so much i can take! i’m also glad we got to see one last episode of Pat Wants to Sleep Over cuz the work he puts in whenever he’s being kicked out of pran’s room lmaooo and that chaotic ending is so Them like truly an a1 way to end the series alskdjlsk

p’aof really delivered w this show because the bar he set is high! if it wasn’t late already i would’ve had my own little rewatch party cuz my heart needs it lmao. and i’m gonna miss reading your responses😭 i loved reading them so much and getting to understand your take on each episode, literally so comforting (esp your rants!!) thanks for indulging my ramblings and for keeping me company these past weeks🥺 i’m sure i’ll come screaming back to you eventually~~~ hope you enjoyed the episode and you’re have an amazing day/night~~ <33 -🥞

Pancake!!! Aahhhhhhh! I feel you so much and my brain can only keysmash and be happy and giddy and so overwhelmed!

They really gave us this trailer and it shouldn't have surprised anyone that it was a trap all along lmao I do hope P'Aof had some fun time reading some freak outs XD But yeah, even if they'd been apart for 4 years, I would have taken it, bc as you said, I trust P'Aof and it would have made sense as a decision. But to know that they decided to MAKE the world accept that they're in love? That they'd stay together no matter what? The way they spent all their important moments with each other? Aaaaaaaah, this is making me so happy!

P'Aof truly delivered and set a new standard. Tbh even if the last episode hadn't been so beautiful, I would have still loved the show because of all those moments they gave us. And they still topped that!

I do love my messy gay cockroaches and if a couple has a hard time finding to each other but you're right. Pat and Pran showed how it's done. How you can stay true to yourself and stay together and not break with everyone else. Their parents lied to them their whole lives and have left any right to be told the truth. Gosh, their faces when they lied so expertedly XD also, this makes their goodbye right before they fake broke up, so damn dramatic! Ohm shed his fucking TEARS for that! Q.Q

InkPha still going strong was so beautiful to watch and I loved how good it was, how Ink was a part of the family, as you said it. And she's now also a force against the dad. Like, he has everyone on Pat's side and they all have fun together while he tries to stay grumpy. I also think that once their parents realised there was still more going on, over the years, they also realised that if they made a big deal out of it again, they'd lose their kids. And this time for real.

The ending was truly deserving of them and their horny but chaotic love story, omg. Loved it. What a great way to go XD

You're making me emotional, ah! I love seeing them be happy, but I'm sad that it was the finale now. Maybe the rewatch can start next fri-gay and it will never stop? I'm also going to miss your asks and rants and I'm so thankful you honored me with those and enjoyed my rants. Thank you so so so so much! <3333

I wish you a wonderful day/night and hope the finale happiness will stay some more with you =^^= take care and feel free to come by to rant about whatever show you want to <3

[acegarlicloaf]

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Booster Pack Wave 1 & 2 - My Review!

I wanted to post a review of Wave 2, but then realised I never posted 1, so here’s both!

This DLC has been quite a mixed bag so far. Some courses are actually pretty great, and others are quite dull. And visually, some of them look like they had more effort put into them than others.

One last thing before I get into the track by track review. I just thought I’d mention that I definitely found Wave 2 to be much stronger than wave 1 overall.

Anyway, keep reading for the full review!

Gold Mushroom Cup

Paris Promenade: Boring and flat. Looks a bit pretty I guess. 2/10

Toad Circuit: Not too bad, though the inflatable toads definitely could’ve had a little bit of a higher poly count, lol. 4/10

Choco Mountain: Actually enjoyed this. The little touch ups they did make to the Mario Kart Tour style graphics were actually enough for me. It looked nice. 7/10

Coconut Mall: The visual style of the tour version of coconut mall didn’t capture the nostalgia of the original version at all. It’s still a decent course to play, but just knowing what it could’ve been, it was disappointing tbh. On another, less subjective note, the scale felt a little weird. It somehow felt smaller and shorter than the Wii version, which is odd. Music still slaps. 6/10

Cat Bell Cup

Tokyo Blur: Also quite flat, as to be expected with Tour courses, though I found the alternate routes in this one a bit more interesting… still pretty dull. 3/10

Shroom Ridge: Not bad. Very basic. And I will use this course to address the “bad graphics” everyone keeps talking about. Going from a base game course to these DLC courses definitely does give me a bit of whiplash, though I’d say that more for some courses than others. I liked the aesthetic of Choco Mountain, for example. I think they added just enough texture for it to fit in enough. This course, however? I can truthfully say that the flat, texture-less grass absolutely does bother me. But I will also say, if they had made the courses more interesting - added anti gravity sections and all that good stuff - I would most definitely care about the change in aesthetic a bit less. It is disappointing, and I’m already just looking forward to the DLCs being over so we can start speculating about the next Mario Kart game again. Rant over. Shroom Ridge? 2/10

Sky Garden: Actually very pleasant. Would’ve liked to see some anti-gravity added, but pretty nice otherwise. Visually nice too. The lack of animation on the completely stiff shortcut leaves is a bit jarring. But yeah, I kinda liked this one. 5/10

Ninja Hideaway: Actually pretty cool! Visually it could’ve just used some extra texture here and there, and the pink trees look pretty bad. My only complaint about the actual track though is that it feels quite compact and a little claustrophobic. Overall though, cool course. 5/10

Turnip Cup

New York Minute: Kinda fun aesthetic, a few interesting twists and turns. As I’ll be saying a lot though, quite flat for most of it. Could be worse though. 3/10

Mario Circuit: faithful recreation of the original track… probably? I don’t actually know or care, boring and flat, 1/10

Kalimari Desert: liked the little surprise of going on the train tracks on lap two. Not the most interesting course, but better than the other two. 5/10

Waluigi Pinball: It’s Waluigi Pinball, what else can I say? 7/10

Propeller Mushroom Cup

Sydney Sprint: One of the first Tour courses I’ve actually quite enjoyed! (And I’m not just biased because I live there!) One complaint though: why the actual f*ck was the audience in the Opera House flat, animated textures?!?! They had 3D people cheering literally at other parts of the same course!!! However, unlike that audience, this track was solid. 7.5/10

Snow Land: Aesthetically, this course was surprisingly nice! The course was fairly basic, but the only thing that did irritate me a bit was the hole in the ice you can fall through. Playing this for the first time, I assumed maybe they had a little underwater alternate route, because Mario Kart 8 lets you drive underwater. Overall nice though. 5.5/10

Mushroom Gorge: Top tier course. Favourite DLC Course so far. Didn’t feel like it needed added anti-gravity, and the new version of the big mushroom section is really cool. I was worried that having all three of those routes might over-complicate it, but it absolutely didn’t. Best DLC Course yet! 8/10

Sky-High Sundae: Good course! The hype died down a little after the first lap, since it seemed a bit short, and the way you kinda float up those stairs looked a little odd. Overall though, solid track! 7/10

If you actually read all this…

Have a cookie 🍪

[inklingofinspiration]

Matchups

Hey!! To get back into posting here (sorry for the longer than expected hiatus), I thought I could do something fun for you guys and do some matchups! I'll be doing them for KNY [Demon Slayer], Attack on Titan, Genshin Impact, My Hero Academia, Umbrella Academy, Star Wars, and Maze Runner.

Requirements --

When writing your request, there are a few things you need to include; basic physical appearance (pictures are, by no means, required), description of your personality, some of your interests and hobbies, sexuality, pronouns, (please include your sexuality and pronouns) love language, Harry Potter house (fuck jkr, tbh, good fandom, though), etc. You're allowed to include insecurities and flaws as well, I'm absolutely fine with that, the same going for mental illnesses//disorders. [I completely understand if it's something you feel is necessary to add, I personally have high-functioning BPD, ADHD, and depression.] I'm also fine with you including descriptions of struggles with your mental health, what it was//is like for you, this is a safe place where you can freely talk about that kind of thing. Just be sure to avoid detailed descriptions of s*ic!d3, s3lf-h*rm, etc., as it can be triggering to others, and I want everyone to feel welcome, but feel free to include basic talks about it, as it's something I often struggle with as well.

The request can be as detailed or basic as you want, so go crazy and have fun. I want this to be a nice event where everyone can enjoy it, so if you go on a rant in your request, then that's perfectly fine. (I personally find it adorable and endearing, so I really don't mind.)

If you'd like an example, I can easily write one up for you guys and post it, just DM me and I'll be more than happy to end it your way.

As far as how many fandoms you can ask for, I'm not too picky so just ask for what you want and I'll do my best to include all of them. Some basic match up prompts I'll do that you can ask for are enemies//rivals, best friends, lover, friends, and sibling(s). If you have a specific trope in mind, just include it in your request, and I'll do something with that for you as well. You can also ask for 3-4 headcanons for 2 of your matchups or 1 headcanon (will still do 3-4 for you) match up and a mini prompt, so if you want a little something extra, I have come prepared to supply.

For cross fandoms, you're more than welcome to specify specific tropes for specific fandoms, and I'll comply with said request and match you up. Just be sure to clearly state at the start of your request what fandom you're looking to be paired up with so I know what I'm doing.

Extra Notes --

This is also just a way to get to know you guys, so I'm super excited for this and can't wait to see what kind of things I get! For those who don't know, you can request your matchup in my ask box, and you're also able to ask anonymously, it really doesn't matter. I've also been recently informed that there's a character limit on the askbox, though, so if your message exceeds it, feel free to just send it over through DM's and I'll just copy and paste your message into the post.

Have a great day, I look forward to hearing from you all.

- Asterin