#Good news: Beast Akutagawa is living his best life possible

[sskk-manifesto]

[ckjbun]

Jouno - the epitome of nurture over nature?

Let’s talk about Jouno again. He’s such an intriguing character. Chapter 92.5 gives us an important insight not only into his past but also into the psychology of many BSD characters.

Asagiri sensei has again made it clear that there is no entirely good or evil characters. It might be a bold statement but in my humble opinion, what we witnessed in this chapter is that the environment might even have a greater influence on your behaviour and attitude than your nature.

Furthermore, Jouno's development makes me extremely optimistic in regards to Dazai's. But let me explain all my thoughts down below the cut.

First, chapter 92.5 surely had me surprised. Although I was thinking about the possibility that Jouno would temporarily work with Fukuchi and then turn against him, I would have never guessed his reason for doing so. 

Jouno was once an executive of a criminal organization. Six years ago, he was brought to the Hunting Dogs by Fukuchi. Though he is working for justice now, he still has a sadistic behaviour and likes to torture people psychologically. He says it himself in chapter 92 that he doesn’t care about whether the ADA is innocent or truly evil, he just wants to hear the voice of someone suffering. He wants to hurt people under the name of law, hear their sound when they break (according to @buraihatranslations ).

In chapter 92.5, we get a flashback of Jouno forcing a burglar to kill himself. But instead of stabbing himself, this happens: 

(translations by @buraihatranslations ​)

The burglar tries to stab Jouno instead. But the sword goes right through Jouno without leaving a single scratch (which is probably thanks to his ability). Jouno is clearly enjoying this scene in front of him and thanks the burglar for the “good sound”, which probably refers to the scream of despair, the sound when the burglar “broke”. 

You get what I'm trying to say. Jouno is highly immoral, one might say he is evil (depending on the definition of evilness). So when I said I could imagine Jouno betraying Fukuchi, I meant he would do it out of purely sadistic reasons, out of pleasure from toying with people. 

But no. I was wrong. 

Right before Jouno betrays Fukuchi, we get this scene:

(translations by @buraihatranslations​)

It seems that Jouno has genuinely felt appreciation coming from the words of this old lady. Her gratitude has surely made him feel a kind of responsibilty towards society.

Would he have betrayed Fukuchi if the latter asked him that six years ago? Probably not.

Jouno is someone who knows how to differentiate between good and bad, but he didn't care about it in the past. He committed crimes and likes to see people suffering. He is inherently bad. Fukuchi has addressed this in chapter 92.5:

(translations by @buraihatranslations ​)

"Your true nature is on that side."

What Fukuchi probably means is that Jouno's nature is not on justice's side. It's on the bad side.

But after joining the HD, within only six years, Jouno has developed a sense of justice. Even though it's not a very strong one, it's still there.

We have seen on multiple occasions that circumstances plays a major role in where you end up. The Beast novel is the best example. Under different circumstances, Atsushi would be on the "bad" side and Akutagawa on the "good" side. But the characters themselves are neither fully bad nor fully good.

What we haven't seen yet until this chapter, if I remember correctly, is that the environment can influence you to act "against" your nature.

Jouno was kind of "forced" to be around people that fight for justice. And because of that, even though his natural trait of being sadistic persists, he has learnt that protecting innocent people brings much more joy as he has stated in the most recent chapter 93.

It's hard to get rid of your negative character traits, probably even impossible. But to act on them is a decision you can resist (oftentimes). Admittedly, it's extremely difficult but the right environment can cause you to form, shape and reinforce an attitude contrary to what you would expect based on your natural traits.

That's why I'm very hopeful in regards to future developments of the BSD cast, especially Dazai's.

(Spoilers for Untold Origin LN:) Ranpo has found a purpose to live thanks to Fukuzawa, namely to help and protect the simple-minded, ordinary people.

Yosano has found a reason to live on thanks to Ranpo.

Kunikida has his ideals and guide to life.

Atsushi's justification for living is saving people.

Being in this environment, I'm sure the ADA members can influence and affect each other in a positive way. Dazai is very similar to Jouno in regards to background. He also started off on the "bad" side, though he isn't as sadistic as Jouno. He tortured people not out of fun but rather to reach his goals.

Similar to Jouno, he doesn't really care about good and bad. I believe Jouno still doesn't care but he has come to enjoy the good side. And that's what I'm hoping for Dazai too. I wish for him that he will find the "good" side, the side that saves people, more beautiful, more enjoyable and maybe even find his own purpose for living.

Well, that were my thoughts on this topic. Happy to hear your opinions!! I'm sorry I didn't incorporate much of the most recent chapter 93. Idk why I'm always almost done with an analysis when the new chapter drops.

Anyways, thank you for reading!!

[no-longer-tainted]

WIP Week 2019 [Day 5]

Question: What is your most used AO3 tag?

I guess it’s the shipping tag for Soukoku/both of them as characters + fluff

Your Canonverse or AU WIP

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs Shipping: Soukoku [Chuuya Nakahara x Osamu Dazai] Notes: I don’t have any canonverse WIPs so I wanna show you one of my Fantasy AU WIPs, I decided to make for the SKK Trope Bingo but it got too big with the idea so I created my own world for it. The WIP is the very first chapter and I hope you enjoy it <3

The darkness of the room was only broken with one almost burnt-down candle and a deep sigh was the only sound when a young man with orange hair let the red wax drop down on the envelope only to imprint his seal on it a second later. He couldn't tell how many hours have passed since he was working on that letter in front of him but it was a incredible relief having it done now. He closed his clear blue eyes and when he breathed in, he opened them again. "Atsushi?" 

The door was opened soundlessly and a white haired man with a single black hair strain appeared in the door frame. He had a nervous look on his face and swallowed hard. The atmosphere in the room was heavy and usually, he wasn't allowed to enter this room. "How can I help you, Chuuya?" 

Chuuya got up from his cushioned wooden chair with the letter in his hand and walked over to Atsushi. "You have to bring this letter to Kouyou." He reached the letter to Atsushi but he didn't take it from him right away. 

"Why me?", he asked and frowned at the pitch-black envelope with the dark red wax seal on it. It hadn't any name written on the outside and the wax looked like a drop of blood. Chuuya had a meaning look in his eyes. "Are you sure? You-You worked the last five hours on it." Atsushi swallowed again. "It has to be super important!" 

"Exactly." Chuuya held the letter closer to his friend and looked at him with raised eyebrows. "You're the only person I can entrust this letter with." With shaky hands, Atsushi took the letter and was anxious about bending the envelope by accident. "Can't you go yourself?" 

Shaking his head, Chuuya laid a hand on Atsushi's shoulder. "I already told you I have to travel the opposite direction today." Chuuya knew it was not an easy task to ask from his friend because even after all those years, he felt uncomfortable around Kouyou. "If you want you can take Akutagawa with you." A resigning sigh made Chuuya chuckle quietly. "Also Kyouka would be happy to see you again after all those months." 

"If you want to see me dead, just say so." Atsushi groaned and squashed the letter in his hands. "Wah-! I-I am sorry." He tried to flatten it between his hands and pressed it between them.

"You're my best friend, I just want the best for you," Chuuya answered with a fond smile and patted Atsushi's head. 

Atsushi licked over his dry lips and pressed them into a thin line. "Okay, you won. But do you really think it's a good idea to start your journey today?" With a doubtful and insecure look, he left the room together with Chuuya. "It's New Moon in three days, you know." 

"I know." Chuuya was more aware of the lunar cycle than any other person he ever met in his life and the mere thought made his stomach twist in loops. "But I'll meet up with Dazai in-" He stopped mid-sentence, not sure about how much time was left until he would meet up with this shitty mummy but it couldn't be that long anymore. "And you know about Dazai's ability."

Another sigh followed as an answer. "How are you able to trust him?" Atsushi looked at Chuuya and tried to read his facial expression but even with his better vision at night, he wasn't able to interpret it. 

Chuuya just shrugged with his shoulders. "Is it trust? We just both have the same goal and Dazai needs someone to do the tiring and stressful work for him." 

"I can't change your mind, right?" Chuuya didn't answer anything and that was answer enough for the other man. "I'm not sure if Kouyou will kill me for letting you go so easily or because I'll spend time with Kyouka." He sounded distraught and the 'Probably both' of Chuuya didn't help to calm him down. "Chuuya! Can't you take me with you and send someone else as messenger?" Despair was written all over his face when he stopped and turned around to Chuuya who fell a step back. "I'm still too young to die!" 

"Sorry." Chuuya looked with a apologetic smile at Atsushi and grabbed the diagonal belt of his leather bag with both of his hands. It only contained a few things he would need on the journey and his savings. "I have to depend on you for this." He would go to Kouyou personally if it would be possible especially because he didn't see her for a few months either but the new clue he got from Dazai yesterday was more important. 

"Then you have to promise me something!" Atsushi held out his pinky with a pretty long nail and looked at Chuuya with a serious expression. "Bring Dazai and yourself home alive!" 

"Can't promise I don't kill this shithead." Atsushi's gaze didn't waver and let Chuuya flinch backwards. Of course, Chuuya knew how much Atsushi looked up to Dazai even though he lived with Chuuya but his own relationship with Dazai was tense - to say the least. Chuuya hesitated with intertwining their fingers. "An Isud can't die anyway." He didn't met Atsushi's gaze but he intertwined their pinkies. And of course, Atsushi was aware that Chuuya was only a dirty Halfblood and his last slentence was meant for both Dazai and him. Chuuya himself never tested his limits but he had the power of two races in him so it should be no problem to get back alive. 

"Oh, Dazai!" Atsushi exclaimed happily and ran towards the man, leaving Chuuya behind and breaking his depressive line of thoughts. His inner beast shouldn't be a solution. 

It was only natural that Atsushi would see Dazai first thanks to his night vision and Chuuya had to rely on the candle in his hand. When he arrived at Dazai shortly after Atsushi- standing casually in the entrance of his cottage in the woods outside of the town, he greeted him only with a half-nod of his head. 

"Long time no see, Chuuya~", Dazai chirped and hugged him tightly as a greeting. His eyes lightened up when he saw Chuuya. "Atsushi already told me that you are so cruel to send him to Kouyou." 

Chuuya struggled to get free from the hug and only managed to do so with throwing Dazai over his own shoulder. Despite him being smaller, he was physically stronger than this clingy ocotopus. "We saw each other yesterday!" Then he threw a look to Atsushi who took a few steps backwards under the glare. 

A loud growl interrupted them and confused, Chuuya and Atsushi looked at Dazai. "What was that?", the youngest among them asked and ran outside. "Woah! Rad!" 

Curious, Chuuya followed the other two man outside and even without a night vision he could clearly see what was in front of him. 

Two majestic and bulky beasts. One of them was the purest white while the other was a the darkest black Chuuya has ever seen in his life. They had fluffy fur around their necks and ankles and the eyes of them were a bloody red. The fluffiness of them was destroyed with their huge fangs and horns. Chuuya took a few steps backwards and was overwhelmed. Seeing Beastmares was something happening not everyday because they were almost extinct. Their fur was the most prized thing in the whole Yishtair Empire. 

"May I introduce-" Dazai pointed with his whole hand to the white Beastmare and smiled like he would introduce his cousin to Chuuya. "Phinya and-" He pointed with his other hand to the black one: "Zeraphin."

Like they knew he was talking about them, they growled. It sounded different than before but Chuuya couldn't tell if that was a good or rather a bad sign. His brain still wasn't able to give him words to speak so he just stared at the Beastmares in silence. They were beautiful creatures usually living in the woods of Evirm. Chuuya never had the chance to see them in natural and only read about them in different books and heard stories from Kouyou when he was younger. And to be honest, they were even more striking than any poem could describe them. 

"I hope that's okay for your picky ass, Chuuya~" Dazai stepped closer to Chuuya and pointed at the white beast. "Phinya will be all yours for the time being." The white one growled and stepped closer to Chuuya and he took a step back. They were just fucking huge! Maybe three meters high. 

Chuuya swallowed when the beast bowed in front of him and laid down, the head on its front paws. Slowly Chuuya got forward to Phinya and without letting his eyes off of it, he put his hand on its snout. It felt really soft but when it suddenly licked over his hand with its tongue, Chuuya flinched back and fell flat on his ass. 

Dazai laughed. "She likes you." 

So 'it' was a she? A beautiful pure white lady. However, Chuuya would almost bet his life that she wasn't even close to being pure as much as her fur color. "Can I too?" Atsushi's eyes sparkled like the stars on the sky and Dazai just shrugged with his shoulders. 

"You're a beast yourself, they probably smelled you from ten kilometers apart." Dazai gave a command with his index finger to let Zeraphin come closer too. "Odasaku told me, they are siblings and about three years old." 

That was pretty young for Beastmares, Chuuya thought immediately. "So you got them from Oda?", Chuuya asked and a strange feeling let his stomach spun around like crazy but he put the blame on his nervousness around the beasts. He got closer to Phinya again and she grunted happily? At least it sounded like a happy sound she gave through her nose. "You're beautiful," he praised her and stroked his hand through her long neck fur while Atsushi did the same with Zeraphin. 

Atsushi was always good with all kind of creatures because with his tiger genes he bonds with them before Chuuya could even think about getting closer to any of them. 

Phinya laid her head sideways in Chuuya's tiny hand and clearly enjoyed the share of kindness and affection of Chuuya.  

Chuuya looked up when Dazai suddenly appeared next to him. "Don't make me jealous, Chuuya~" He sat down next to the other man and stroked through the fur of Phinya. 

"What are you talking about?", Chuuya asked confused and looked at Dazai for a moment before the beast girl snuffed to get his attention back. For a moment, Dazai hesitated with an answer, like he had to overthink his chosen words. "She hated me in the beginning."

While in the background was Atsushi's lighthearted laugh, playing with the black beast, Chuuya had a shit eating grin on his face. "Deserves you right." Phinya's red eyes wandered to Dazai and for a moment they just exchanged looks, before Dazai clapped into his hands and stood up from the ground. 

"Time to go."

Chuuya sighed. What a sudden change in the air. "Yeah." There was no time to play around. Atsushi's sad face when he said goodbye to his two new friends was gut-wrenching and Chuuya put a hand on his shoulder after he hastily rushed to Dazai and Chuuya. "I don't know when were back-" Chuuya looked over to Dazai who was pretending to not listen. "But as long as Kouyou receives the letter, everything is fine." 

Atsushi hugged Chuuya goodbye. "I'll take care of everything." He didn't sound convinced but Chuuya believed in Atsushi nevertheless. After that, Atsushi walked over to Dazai who was already sitting on Zeraphin. "Please don't make Chuuya angry too often. I don't think Kouyou's anger is a painless way to die." Taking a few steps back, he watched the two majestic beasts and the two men on them, walking away. 

Phinya had Chuuya let stay on her front paw and from there he jumped on her fluffy back. One last time he turned around to Atsushi. "Please take care of you and give Kouyou and Kyouka my greetings."

Before Atsushi could answer, Phinya growled loud and Atsushi blushed. "I-You! Please take care of Chuuya, Phinya!" Atsushi had the ability to talk with the animals living in the Yishtair Empire. The last thing Atsushi heard before they were out of is vision was another growl of Phinya.

[melodramaticarting]

My first fanfic on Tumblr! This is for an anime called Bungou Stray Dogs. I’m a little obsessed with the character called Osamu Dazai in it. He’s named after a real life author, and his power “No Longer Human” is named after one of the guy’s works, which I read for research purposes.

After getting an image in my head (concept art picture above this text), this is my take on some thoughts/diary entry things Dazai has on different things other characters have said to him so far. Spoiler alerts for the anime and manga, which is all I've gone through for now.

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Life Had a Meaning?

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No Longer Human. Hah, I was never human.

Other than surviving for as long as possible (a human’s common sense), there’s very little meaning to life for me. I am a creature…that is somewhat emotionally deprived, generally speaking. I knew that much. The term was…psychopath, I think? An old man I tortured said that to me once. Most people set values and goals in life because of a feeling called “I want this to happen” has urged them to do so.

Allow me to present my resume.  The world is my oyster. I am cunning and uninhibited by the laws of common men. I am dedicated and relentless with virtually no emotional fatigue if there is a goal. My record of “136 murders, 312 cases of extortion, 625 cases of fraud, along with various other sundry crimes” should prove these points if nothing else. Or did I really do those things for a reason in the first place?

So tell me.

What exactly is the point of living? I can own the world around me, destroy it, nip it’s buds and watch it re-grow in morbid fascination, but it wouldn't even be worth the work put in for it. Logically speaking.

Why does it matter? Is it because someone assigned the act of living a value?

“...man fears death and yet, at the same time, man is drawn to death… It is a singular event in one’s life that none may reverse.”

I wanted to unravel the secret in that phrase. I thought it would give me reason to live if I solved it’s puzzle, so I decided to use life for it instead. It became my raison d’etre, for death. That which has evaded me to this day.  Successful suicide has proved to be a long-term project I must put everything into. And sadly, In the meantime, I’ll have to live. Ah, how I want to sleep till the end of the world like a log instead. The physical pain suicide attempts usually give me aren't that nice. As opposed to what everyone thinks, I’m just used to it.

The pain of drowning in your own blood when your lungs are punctured by bullets, it gives a burning sensation like your chest is on fire. The pain of involuntarily gasping for air when they don’t fill up because it’s leaking at the same time. The pain of actual water flooding your lungs when you drown in a river, when you can’t fight the involuntary response of your mouth opening to breathe anymore. The nausea that takes over your head when low blood pressure settles in, because you lost too much blood. Your body fights when you tell it to stop wasting effort, so you just let it. Then it gets excited all on it’s own, pumping blood more fiercely than ever to keep you awake and functioning. Sometimes weird things pop up, like that “life flashing before your eyes” thing. I just see a hole most of the time though.

It’s like an alarm clock you can’t snooze, so annoying. Then it gets really, really cold. I totally can’t stand those things. Just like that GSS Soldier who attacked Randou-san. I asked him if he wanted me to cut it short. Even though it was more than he deserved. I thought I’d be kind, but Chuuya stopped me.

Oh…right. A human doesn't think like this. I must carefully manage my persona on display. Like that scene I staged for him when we went to rescue Q in one of The Guild’s basements. I threw the knife down and muttered a logical half-hearted excuse for not killing him, like keeping myself valuable to the mafia. In truth I could already think of so many other ways to achieve the same effect, but one must be tactful when playing human. A moment of giddiness bubbled across the surface of my sinful pride as Chuuya said, “how naïve. Your goody two-shoes act also puts me off.”

Despite practicing over ten thousand hours, I've yet to achieve true mastery. Dogs can still sniff me out if I don’t keep them occupied, even the occasional human that acts like one. When someone comes close enough scratch the surface, they see The Hole, and they run in fear. I am a hopeless cannibal, serving this bottomless pit that will never be satisfied. If only I could find something that could fill it up.

“You told me that you might find a reason to live if you lived in world of violence and bloodshed..”

My hand slipped off the edge. No, don’t talk about that Odasaku. Now’s not the time.

“I did, but who cares-“  The edges of the hole are further crumbling away. Didn't that man see it?

“You won’t find it.”

…What are you saying, Odasaku? That’s not true. Don’t tell me that. It’s not. You’re wrong, Odasaku, please be wrong. Stop it.

“You must know that already. Whether you’re on the side who kills people, or the side who saves people. Nothing beyond what you expect will appear. Nothing in this world can fill that lonely hole you have. You will wander the darkness for eternity.”

What are you doing? You’re scaring me. I’m shaking. No. Stop. Stop digging this hole more. Stop making It bigger.  

“…What should I do?” An inhuman voice is crying to the sky. Is it mine?

“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, become a good man. Save the weak, protect the orphans. Neither good nor evil means much to you, I know... but that would at least be a little more beautiful...”

“How do you know?” I stopped trying to mend the edge. A pit so deep, there’s not even blood.

“Of course I know. I know better than anyone.”

Does a monster have to be alone forever? Can they be with others?

“Because…I am your friend.” I had a hole in me too.

“Your methods…your sadistic way of hollowing out your enemies’ heart…Your blood…is Mafia black, more so than anyone else’s in this country.”  Higuchi sounded so cold when she said that. I just wanted to share myself and connect sincerely with others, just like Kenji. People always ended up confessing their hearts to him, didn't they? It was just the same thing.

But it’s alright, she doesn't have to understand. Odasaku taught me that day already. Monsters could make friends, too.

---------------------------

One day I found a guide. Someone who had been where I am, and he found a way out. He told me how.

I didn't cry when he died, because only humans cry. I've long been disqualified as a human, but I’ll take a look at where he pointed.  He gave me a new direction.

…maybe a reason to live, too.

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“Nakajima Atsushi-kun, do you know whose grave this is?”

“No, but it’s someone dear to you right?” Did he just mean sentimentality? An emotion reserved for humans?

“…Why do you think that?”

“I've never seen you visit a grave after all.”

“Does it look like I’m visiting a grave?” Am I acting like a human?

“It does…why?”

…He’s just like a dog.

“Was it someone you loved?”

Haha, what a naïve face. Great for molding. I've been trying to do that. A little differently than my hellhound back at Port Mafia. My little kouhai that is strongest when he is chasing after me. Like a beast, without a single care for dignity. Another reason I left the mafia.

What? I didn't just leave because Odasaku told me to. No, even my tolerance had a limit sometimes. Mori sacrificed my friend to get a Gifted Business Permit (I do acknowledge it was a logical course of action.) All I could see from then on was a piece of paper dyed in his blood, that would stain my hands forever, if I stayed. That would be a liability for me in the future. I also placed a bomb in Chuuya’s car before leaving.

Exploited Ango to erase all my past crimes on paper.

Severed the connection between the accelerometer and Ango’s airbag to make sure he landed within an inch of death.

Just a little exchange to clarify personal boundaries between old friends. A natural course of friendship. Then there were the women, right. I didn't know what to do with the women.

“I’m gonna send your address to every woman you've left crying.”

I think real fear struck me for a moment. Chuuya…sometimes I think he’s a woman too. He fucks like one.

He also…doesn't leave me alone like one.

“Enemy of all women!!” His name-calling that night reverberated in my head for a while.

As a mentor, I love both Atsushi-kun and Akutagawa equally, but they just couldn't be raised the same way. It would be best he didn't realize, but I do wonder sometimes why Akutagawa doesn’t understand that. His strength is best brought out by pulling out the rug beneath him. He developed an intense desire to survive in his childhood days, and I attached that to a leash (what good is training a dog that you can’t control?). A pathological need for approval from me. It’s like a drug that makes his growth self-sufficient. Atsushi-kun on the other hand, needed a warm and loving environment. He’s too paralyzed by trauma.

When Atsushi-kun asked me how he should feel about the headmaster’s death, I repeated what I most commonly saw. “When someone’s father passes away, they will cry.” (The only death that ever arrested my conscious for more than a moment was Odasaku’s. I can only say it made the hole bigger, which I didn't know how to explain in words.)

Another reason being his first teacher already having taken up residence in that part of his heart, where his abuse carved out a gaping cavern. It would be unwise to compete for the same space, or use the same paralyzing trauma as a motivational device. Atsushi-kun’s fragile mentality requires my daily presence right now, but I do see him improving as time goes by. In a way he’s actually stronger than Akutagawa because of that.

“Victory is yours, Atsushi-kun.” I remember how his face lighted up at those words. I was right. “Your spirit prevails, and this city is saved.”

And with that setup, Akutagawa will crash at him repeatedly for me, and Atsushi-kun will always stop him. Iron sharpening iron, meaning I have less work to do. There’s too much to prepare for before judgment day, I can only nurture so many soldiers at the same time. Especially if they’re in two different organizations that can butt heads anytime. I even have to take care of the toys around Atsushi-kun to make sure they don’t break.

Kyouka-chan was so distressed because she killed thirty-five people, so I gave her some inspiring pep-talk—and compared her case with Atsushi-kun. I couldn’t let her know how many people I've killed. How annoying. I reminded myself again it was for Atsushi-kun’s growth. Raising him was essential in the quest Odasaku guided me to ---save people. To save myself.

“People exist to save themselves...”

Can I believe Odasaku had a feeling called “care” for me, and I for him? Did we need to be certified humans for that?

“A mafia member who doesn't kill...huh,” Odasaku…are you telling me I’m in the right place? Were you leading me to Atsushi-kun? Hah…if only you could see this. He even made the hellhound I trained swear off killing for six months. That’s so incredible. You were right. Being on the side that saves people just might be way more beautiful.

A/N: Yes, I researched how people die and what it feels like in case you’re wondering.