#Graham C. Lester

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Five of the Many Ways in Which the Principle View of the Fall Is Nonsensical

The Divine Principle explanation for the fall is not just wrong, but is entirely nonsensical.

1. The Principle interpretation is biblically nonsensical. When God gives the commandment to be fruitful we must assume that God knows the meaning of the words he is using. From a botanical standpoint, an organism can only be fruitful after sexual reproduction has taken place. If God were to use the phrase “be fruitful” in the context of a commandment to not have sex until after attaining perfection then God would be demonstrating a fundamental ignorance of basic botany.

Eve says the Tree of Knowledge is “in the middle of the garden.” If she herself were the tree, why would she speak of the tree as being located in the middle of the garden?

Divine Principle says that Lucifer seduced Eve and Eve then seduced Adam. However, the Bible says (Gen 3:6) that Adam was with Eve at the time she first tasted the fruit. Adam then tasted the fruit immediately afterwards. This makes nonsense of the Principle’s claim that Eve repented after “eating the fruit” with Lucifer and then later had sex with Adam from a desire to return to her original place.

2. The Principle interpretation is historically nonsensical. Even if the Divine Principle account were a solid interpretation of the Genesis story the latter would still be only a story and not an actual historical event. Let’s look at the two explanations that Unificationists give of how the story came to be: 1) it is an ancient oral tradition that has been passed down from Adam and Eve’s family; 2) it is a revelation received directly from God at a later date.

It is impossible for an ancient oral tradition to have been preserved from the time of Adam and Eve for the simple reason that any original ancestors would have had to have lived at least 125,000 years ago, and probably over 400,000 years ago. We know that because control of fire by early humans was already prevalent 125,000 years ago and seems to have existed for several hundred thousand years before that. Control of fire is not something that animals are capable of, not even the most intelligent animals. In fact even today most educated people would not be able to successfully create and control fire if they were dropped alone into a remote wilderness. Could you? Unless you have been in the armed forces, or at least the Scouts, you probably could not. The control of fire is a complex set of behaviors that has to be learned. If there were such a thing as the human spirit then it would have to go back at least to the time when humans first learned to control fire. Can you imagine an oral history remaining intact for 125,000 years in the absence of any sort of writing? It is preposterous. And then, who decided to pass it on in a symbolic form? Perhaps Adam and Eve decided that the whole tale was too shameful to be explained clearly and yet realized that it would some day be needed by Divine Principle lecturers and so they cleverly disguised it with symbols. Not likely is it?

Neither is the Genesis account a revelation. If God were going to give the Divine Principle story by revelation in symbolic form he would surely get the order of events correct, make the symbols clear, and not mistakes about basic botany that could be spotted by an intelligent ten year old. And why would God talk about himself walking in the garden as if he were a human? Moreover, according to the documentary hypothesis (look that up!), Bible scholars have found that the Genesis story was not originally a single story but two, three, or more earlier stories that have been somewhat haphazardly edited together. This is why, for instance, Genesis repeats the story of creation of man in Genesis 1: 26-28 and then in Genesis 2: 5. Notice how there are no plants in Genesis 2: 5 despite the fact that God has already created them in Genesis 1: 11. Why would God give mutually contradictory revelations and then leave it to a tribe of uneducated ancient Israelites to create a coherent narrative out of the parts?

3. The Principle interpretation is nonsense from the standpoint of science. There are literally millions of pieces of evidence that creatures evolved gradually over hundreds of millions of years. Why all the dinosaur bones? There never were such people as Adam and Eve. That is a fact, not an opinion.

Would it make any sense for God to create all the different life forms by evolution and then cap it off by creating Adam and Eve as special creations? Why not use special creation for all the animals if that were the case? But let’s say that God did use special creation for humans only, then why did he also create so many transitional forms between the ape and man? Why Australopithecus? Why the Neanderthals? Why the Denisovans? Why would God create humans as special creations and then leave a long trail of evidence to make it seem as if they had evolved? And if God was just practicing when he made the earlier hominins, as some Divine Principle lecturers say, then why does Unification Thought declare that God already had the perfect image of Adam and Eve in mind before he began the creation?

Then there is this whole problem of angels. How exactly did they help God create the world? What do they do today? Do they help the True Children with their homework? Have you ever seen one? How do they get on with the pixies and the fairies? Why do spiritualists disagree on basic facts such as what sex the angels are and whether or not they really have wings? Are you so sure about these angels?

4. The Principle interpretation is nonsense from the standpoint of psychology. Would you make the whole success of your global master plan contingent on the ability of a sixteen-year-old girl to outsmart the brilliant archangel who co-created the universe? That’s what the Divine Principle God, Hananim, did.

Apparently, Hananim didn’t think through the relationships he was setting up at all carefully, and he didn’t even have any back-up plan. He just figured that he could leave a really hot teen-age girl alone with a very lonely male caretaker, who had no other sexual or romantic outlet, and that nothing could possibly go wrong. Even the worst parents in today’s world tend to be at least a little bit careful whom they leave their children with. But not Hananim, apparently. Not only did Hananim skip Botany but he flunked Common Sense 101 too.

Remember, all Eve had to go with was the commandment. The punishment for failure was the creation of hell, plus tens of thousands of years of suffering for the whole human race. And yet Divine Principle mocks Christians for saying that God threatened his children with death. The punishment in Divine Principle is far worse than the mere death of an individual. By its own standards, doesn’t the Principle deserve far greater mockery?

5. The Principle interpretation is nonsense from the standpoint of theology. The glaring problem here is that it does not explain how sin comes into the world or how it is passed from generation to generation. In the Unification Church there are as many different explanations for how sin is transmitted as there are members who are willing to venture a suggestion. Some people think sin is passed on socially. Others think it has something to do with the sung sang of the blood. Some think it is more of a legal predicament resulting from Satan’s claim over humankind – a bit like if you accidentally sign up with AOL and then find it impossible to cancel your membership. And then there are those who think it is connected with being deprived of the life element from God. Moon was never able to clearly explain it in spite of having over sixty years and tens of thousands of hours of sermonizing during which to do so. He left it up to the members because he didn’t actually have an answer. It’s like a criminal who gives a different account of his actions every time he is questioned; then, when he is put up for trial and asked which version is the truth, he shrugs his shoulders and suggests that the jury pick whichever story they find most believable.

If sin is simply passed on socially then why do we need a wine ceremony (with those special ingredients!) to change the lineage? Why did infertile couples always have to adopt from other blessed couples? Why did we have a True Family? Why all that sex in the early days of the movement? Clearly the view that sin is merely passed on socially cannot be considered an orthodox Unificationist position.

The notion of sin as a legal predicament certainly has some roots in Christian theology, where Christ is our advocate and God is our judge, and where Christ takes our punishment upon himself. But sin cannot only be a legal formality. There is certainly an element of inner corruption, of falling short of the glory, of concupiscence, too. Take away the devil and all his works and we are still sinners, from a Christian standpoint. There must be more to it.

What about deprivation of the life element inhibiting our spiritual growth? That sort of leaves it up to God. We are like an engine that doesn’t have enough gas. Hananim has the gas but he won’t put enough in the tank, or he can’t because Satan won’t let him, or something. How do we get to the point where Hananim is going to allow us enough gas? We go to the blessing but our gas allowance remains the same as before; perhaps it goes down a little. If we can’t get the gas how can we be blamed for not going the extra miles?

Most Unificationists would deny that sin is a material thing like a disease that is passed down from generation to generation. They would reject the notion that we ought to be able to identify it substantially in the blood, even if we had a really good microscope. Some would say that sin is a collection of “evil elements” that stained Eve’s spirit in some way. But are fear and jealousy transferable from one object to another in the same way that energy is? Is there a conservation of depravity that works like the conservation of momentum? Perhaps we can imagine ways that these emotions could have been transferred between individuals, but how do they then get into the “blood” and affect future generations?

I think the most common belief among Unificationists who even attempt to make sense of their own teachings is that sin is a corruption of some invisible inner essence (sung sang) of the blood, or the DNA — a spiritual condition that has a material effect in terms of our failure to unite mind and body. But, how did this come about? Can we really believe that it was somehow passed from Lucifer to Eve through his sperm, which was entirely spiritual, and then passed to Adam through Eve’s kisses or whatever, and then passed to the children through the blood? How did it go from the Luciferian sperm to the human blood? No answer. Perhaps we can think of a drop of ink spreading in a container of pure water. No, that is an analogy not an explanation. There is no real explanation, just a bunch of vague mumbo jumbo that every Divine Principle lecturer is free to make up as he goes along. Really, how does any of this work? What is the mechanism? It is not that the Unification Church has a poor explanation for sin: it has no explanation whatsoever. And yet its Messiah has already come and gone, and the removal of sin was supposed to be his main mission.

Graham C. Lester

______________________________________

see also:

Imagination Theology: The problem and the solution

Ten reasons why the atom is not a good role model for human couples

The Unification Church should follow the Anglican model

The Failure of Prayer

It is indeed official UC teaching that Jesus had sex with Mary Magdalene.

Ten differences between what the UC used to teach and what the church teaches today

Do you see it? Adam and Eve were husband and wife before the Fall, not brother and sister.

Moon taught that God did NOT create the angels in pairs – meaning that God broke one of his own “creation” laws

A Workable Plan to Fulfill the Three Blessings and Create an Ideal World

[identity-library]

Disability (Video Games)

A:

Ace Attorney

Diego "Godot" Armando (Blind)

Ken "Acro" Dingling (Paralyzed, Wheelchair User)

Animal Jam

Tavie (Limb Difference)

Arcane

Sevika (Amputee)

Viktor (Limb Difference, Cane/Crutch User)

B:

Baldur's Gate 3

Karlach Cliffgate (Prosthetic Heart)

Wyll Ravengard (Partially Blind)

Bendy and the Ink Machine

Tom (Amputee)

Borderlands

Sir Hammerlock (Amputee)

TK Baha (Amputee, Blind)

Bugsnax

Floofty Fizzlebean (Amputee)

C:

Castle Cats

Mewton (Amputee)

Redmane (Partially Blind)

Wetbeard (Amputee)

Cookie Run

Baumkuchen Cookie (Wheelchair User)

Black Raisin Cookie (Amputee)

Half-Avocado Cookie (Amputee)

Red Velvet Cookie (Amputee)

Tarte Tatin Cookie (Partially Blind)

Twizzly Gummy Cookie (Partially Blind)

Cozy Grove

Octavia Cubbins (Wheelchair User)

D:

Danganronpa: Desperate Heart 2: Infectious Devotion

Charlotte Berry (Double Amputee - Wheelchair User)

Date Everything

Jacques Pierrot (Lower Limb Amputee)

Mac (Unspecified Disability - Wheelchair User)

Deltarune

Seam (Partially Blind)

Undyne (Partially Blind)

Dishonored

Billie Lurk (Amputee, Partially Blind)

Dislyte

Norah (Deaf)

Doll Eye

Alfred Brown (Partially Blind)

Drawtectives

Anne Daction (Unspecified Disability - Wheelchair User)

E:

Ever Legion

Bruk'daz (Seizure Disorder)

Extreme Meatpunks Forever

Lianna (Amputee, Wheelchair User)

F:

Fallout

Harold (Partially Blind)

Set (Partially Blind)

Fallout 2

John Cassidy (Arthritis, Heart Condition)

Louis Salvatore (Unspecified Breathing Condition)

The Arroyo Elder (Partially Blind)

Fallout 3

Billy Creel (Partially Blind)

Breadbox (Deaf)

Eclair (Partially Blind)

Split Jack (Partially Blind)

The Drifter (Partially Blind)

Wernher (Partially Blind)

Fallout 4

Dead Eye (Blind)

Fisheye (Partially Blind)

Horatio (Arthritis)

Porter Gage (Partially Blind)

Priscilla Penske (Arthritis)

Proctor Ingram (Double Amputee)

Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel

Jesse (Amputee)

Harold (Amputee)

Fallout: New Vegas

Doc Mitchell (Bum Leg)

Father Elijah (Arthritis)

Joshua Graham (Chronic Pain, Scarring)

Raul Tejada (Arthritis)

Ranger Grant (Partially Blind)

Scrambler (Partially Blind)

Tommy Torini (Partially Blind)

Fear & Hunger 2: Termina

Olivia Haas (Vascular Myelopathy, Wheelchair User)

Fire Emblem

Alfred (Crohn's Disease)

Basilio (Partially Blind)

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd (Partially Blind)

Elffin (Blind)

Largo (Amputee)

Leteena (Blind)

Malice (Blind)

Natalie (Limited Mobility)

Niles (Partially Blind)

Raphael (Limited Mobility)

Rhys (Immunocompromised)

Robin (Chronic Migraines)

Saber (Partially Blind)

Forgotten Realms

Tyr (Blind, Hand Amputee)

Fortnite

Demi (Amputee)

Joy (Vitiligo)

Freedom Planet

Sash Lilac (Hard of Hearing)

G:

Gears of War

Benny (Amputee)

Genshin Impact

Avin (Unspecified Disability - Wheelchair User)

Goof Troop

Keelhaul Pete (Amputee, Partially Blind)

Grand Theft Auto

Lester Crest (Wasting Disease - Wheelchair/Cane User)

Guild Wars 2

Taimi (Limited Mobility)

Guilty Gear

Baiken (Amputee, Partially Blind)

Zato-One (Blind)

H:

Hades 2

Hephaestus (Amputee, Wheelchair User)

Honkai Impact 3rd

Bronya Zaychik (Unspecified Disability, Prosthetics User)

I:

J:

K:

King's Choice

Cyril (Paralyzed)

L:

League of Legends

Gangplank (Amputee)

Lee Sin (Blind)

Sona (Mute)

Swain (Amputee)

Urgot (Double Leg Amputee)

M:

Magic Warrior Diamond Heart

Chandra Maharaj (Stutter)

Sophie Anderson (Autistic)

Valerie Amaranth (ADHD)

Zacharie Pelletier (ADHD, Autistic)

Mass Effect

Jeff "Joker" Moreau (Osteogenesis Imperfecta)

MeChat

Arno Kotze (Blind)

Gray Grimshaw (Blind)

Will Heit (Blind)

Mega Man Battle Network 3

Mamoru Ura (Heart Condition, Wheelchair User)

Mortal Kombat

Kenshi Takahashi (Blind)

Mouthwashing

Curly (Multi-Limb Amputee)

N:

Night in the Woods

Angus Delaney (Asthma)

O:

Open Sorcery

Pisces (Unspecified Disability - Wheelchair User)

Overwatch

Genji Shimada (Amputee)

Junkrat (Amputee)

Owlboy

Otus (Mute)

P:

Poptropica

Captain Crawfish (Lower Limb Amputee, Partially Blind)

Captain Ziggs (Partially Blind)

Dr. Smartypants (Bilateral Lower Limb Amputee)

Master Huggins (Lower Limb Amputee - Crutch User)

Master of Coin (Partially Blind)

Max McGullicutty (Lower Limb Amputee)

Red Baroness (Partially Blind)

Scurvy Sam (Lower Limb Amputee, Partially Blind)

Tory Obesus (Partially Blind)

Q:

R:

Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart

Rivet (Amputee)

ReCore

Kai Brehn (Double Amputee)

Rusty Lake

Elizabeth Eilander (Blind)

Leonard Vanderboom (Lower Limb Amputee)

S:

Sally Face

CJ (Unspecified Disability - Wheelchair User)

Sal Fisher (Facial Difference, Migraines, Prosthetic User)

Sly Cooper

Bentley Turtle (Paralyzed - Wheelchair User)

Soul Calibur

Voldo (Blind)

Stardew Valley

George Mullner (Paralyzed - Wheelchair User)

T:

The Last of Us

Ellie Williams (Amputee)

The Surge

Warren (Unspecified Mobility Disability - Wheelchair User)

U:

V:

Viva Pinata

Jardineiro (Unspecified Disability - Wheelchair User)

W:

Max Hass (Brain Damage)

X:

Y:

Z:

[shadowland]

David Crosby and Graham Nash Crosby, Stills and Nash (c. 1980) © Lester Cohen

[two-of-them-tournament]

TWO OF THEM TOURNAMENT ROUND 1

Begins March 15 at noon EST. There will be 8 polls per day. Matchups under the cut.

DAY ONE

Troy Barnes & Abed Nadir (Community) VS Booster Gold & Ted Kord (DC Comics) WINNER: Troy & Abed!

Ingo & Emmet (Pokemon) VS Newton Geiszler & Hermann Gottlieb (Pacific Rim) WINNER: Ingo & Emmet!

Kagamine Rin & Len (Vocaloid) VS Sherlock Holmes & John Watson (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes) WINNER: Holmes & Watson!

Sans & Papyrus (Undertale) VS Sun Wukong & Six-eared Macaque (LEGO Monkie Kid) WINNER: Sans & Papyrus!

Breekon & Hope (Magnus Archives) VS Ace Trappola & Deuce Spade (Twisted Wonderland) WINNER: Breekon & Hope!

Dipper & Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls) VS Achilles & Patroclus (Greek mythology) WINNER: Dipper & Mabel!

Mario & Luigi (Super Mario Bros) VS Ash Ketchum & Pikachu (Pokemon) WINNER: Mario & Luigi!

Jessie & James (Pokemon) VS Timon & Pumbaa (The Lion King) WINNER: Jessie & James!

DAY TWO

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern (Hamlet) VS Benson Mekler & Dave (Kipo) WINNER: Rosencrantz & Guildenstern!

Pippin Took & Merry Brandybuck (Lord of the Rings) VS Benton Fraser & Ray Kowalski (Due South) WINNER: Merry & Pippin!

Frodo Baggins & Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings) VS Sailor Uranus & Sailor Neptune (Sailor Moon) WINNER: Frodo & Sam!

Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens) VS Finn & Jake (Adventure Time) WINNER: Finn & Jake!

Statler & Waldorf (The Muppet Show) VS Strong Bad & The Cheat (Homestar Runner) WINNER: Statler & Waldorf!

Bert & Ernie (Sesame Street) VS Vex'ahlia & Vax'ildan (Critical Role) WINNER: Bert & Ernie!

Sonic & Tails (Sonic the Hedgehog) VS Jadzia Dax (Star Trek) WINNER: Sonic & Tails!

Phineas & Ferb VS Carl Carlson & Lenny Leonard (The Simpsons) WINNER: Phineas & Ferb!

DAY THREE

Sam & Max VS Will Graham & Hannibal Lecter (NBC Hannibal) WINNER: Sam & Max!

Spongebob & Patrick (Spongebob Squarepants) VS Eddie Brock & Venom (Marvel Comics) WINNER: Spongebob & Patrick!

Wallace & Gromit VS The 10th Doctor & Donna Noble (Doctor Who) WINNER: Wallace & Gromit!

Geordi LaForge & Data (Star Trek) VS Frog & Toad WINNER: Frog & Toad!

Spock & Jim Kirk (Star Trek) VS Wug Test (Linguistics) WINNER: Spock & Kirk!

Bill S. Preston & Theodore Logan (Bill and Ted) VS Fireboy & Watergirl WINNER: Bill & Ted!

Nadja of Antipaxos & Laszlo Cravensworth (What We Do in the Shadows) VS Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb) WINNER: Doofenshmirtz & Perry!

Nastya Rasputina & The Aurora (The Mechanisms) VS Harry DuBois & Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium) WINNER: Harry & Kim!

DAY FOUR

Pinky & The Brain (Animaniacs) VS Scooby & Shaggy (Scooby-Doo) WINNER: Scooby & Shaggy!

Nico Di Angelo & Will Solace (Percy Jackson) VS Timmy & Tommy (Animal Crossing) WINNER: Timmy & Tommy!

Calvin & Hobbes VS Bunsen & Beaker (The Muppet Show) WINNER: Calvin & Hobbes!

Kris & Susie (Deltarune) VS Mercutio & Benvolio (Romeo and Juliet) WINNER: Kris & Susie!

Wirt & Greg (Over the Garden Wall) VS R2-D2 & C-3PO (Star Wars) WINNER: R2-D2 & C-3PO!

Mac McDonald & Charlie Kelly (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) VS Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde WINNER: Mac & Charlie!

Phoenix Wright & Maya Fey (Ace Attorney) VS John Doe & Arthur Lester (Malevolent) WINNER: Phoenix & Maya!

Legolas Greenleaf & Gimli (Lord of the Rings) VS Jedediah Smith & Gaius Octavius (Night at the Museum) WINNER: Legolas & Gimli!

RECAP

[baccano-gauntlet]

ROUND 1 PART 2 MASTERPOST.

Donny v. Placido Russo

Renee Parmedes Branvillier v. Charkie

Dez Nibiru v. Carnea Kaufman

Ronny Schiatto v. Upham

Niki v. Donald Brown

Edith v. Edward Noah

Mark Wilmens v. Randy

Maria Barcelito v. Carzelio Runorata

John Drox v. Molsa Martillo

Celice Artia v. Rail

Salomé Carpenter v. Graham Specter

Luchino B. Campanella v. Firo Prochainezo

Lebreau Fermet Viralesque v. Bilt Quates

Jon Panel v. Nice Holystone

Misery v. Misao

Adele v. Krieck

Lucrezia de Dormentaire v. Tim

Jack v. Nile

Jacuzzi Splot v. Bride

Luck Gandor v. Melody

Sonia Bake v. Aging

Lua Klein v. The Former Felix Walken

Carol v. Lisha Darken

Nicola Casetti v. Natalie Beriam

Paula Wilmens v. Goose Perkins

Denkuro Togo v. Nicholas Wayne

Gustavo Bagetta v. Begg Garrott

Lester v. Claudia Walken

Nick v. Ricardo Russo

Tick Jefferson v. Spike

Lia Lin-Shan v. Maiza Avaro

Bill Sullivan v. Monica Campanella

Elmer c. Albatross v. Hong Chi-Mei

Carl Dignis v. Juliano

[hard-to-be-the-bard]

Slashers and Thanksgiving

I’m gonna have to google what thanksgiving is, all I know is it’s American and I’m a crumpet Brit

I’m a bean now :) also as an edit u wanna reveal who u are? i wanna know who’s calling me a bean 

Bo Sinclair:

- As much as Bo is gonna pretend he can’t be bothered

- He loves the family feeling

- You invite Lester of course, and Vincent

- Setting up an entire meal in the small house

- Bo will grumble if there’s no alcohol

- But produce some and he’ll stop, and you know he enjoys it

- Even if he pretends he doesn’t

Michael Myers:

- He’s gonna carve the turkey

- I mean he’s got the knife for it

- And he likes impressing you with his knife skills

- He did the same thing when you tried to get him to carve a pumpkin on Halloween, before he went out killing of course

- He’s kinda annoyed everyone’s gonna be inside for it, he can’t go out and kill anyone 

Thomas Hewitt:

- The Hewitt’s never have a lot of money

- But when you bring all of the things for it

- How can they say no to you

- Especially Thomas

- He finds you adorable, bumbling around the kitchen, helping Luda Mae

- You keep hugging him whenever you can , telling him it’s going to be amazing

- And he believes you

Jason Voorhees:

- He’s obviously never done it before

- After all he’s been alone forever, just his mother’s voice

- So he hardly keeps track of time

- But he’s more than happy to do something with you

- Even if it’s just a small meal

- Because he adores every second he spends with you

- He loves to see you move around the kitchen, wearing one of his huge shirts (that you washed first of course)

- And his mother hums agreements, even complimenting your cooking

- Well, you can’t hear her, but Jason’s glad you have her approval

Hannibal:

- Surprisingly it’s actually a turkey

- Not a human

- But of course meals are never simple with Hannibal

- Even something as simple as this has to be full blown

- Table set to perfect

- The food over the top

- But who are you to complain when he looks so hot when he’s cooking

- I mean, who can blame you

- The man can c o o k

Will Graham:

- The dogs get most of the turkey

- That’s a promise you’d told will

- And you couldn’t let them starve on thanksgiving

- He finds it endearing that you want to do something so mundane with him

- And you’re spending your time with him, and no one else

- And there’s something about that that makes him feel so wanted, needed.

- Like there’s nothing wrong with him at all

- So he enjoys it

- Hoping that next year, you’ll want to do the same

[gullbones]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Tags

Tagged by: @pianodoesterror 💚💚💚

The Terror-Henry Collins

Star Trek-Garak

Lord of the Rings-Gandalf

Classic Horror (is this a fandom? maybe?): Frankenstein’s Monster (Boris Karloff; i love Mr. Lee’s version but Mr. Karloff is my beloved creature)

The C Team-Rosie Beestinger

Moomin-Tooticki

Star Wars-Asajj Ventress

Hannibal-Will Graham

Primeval-James Lester

Gravity Falls-Grunkle Ford

Tagging: anyone who wants to do this honestly!! i always feels awkward tagging people lmao so if you see this and want to do this then go wild!

[americanbuildings]

Historic American Buildings Survey Lester Jones, Photographer c. 1938 OLIVE STREET FACADE - Graham & Newman Building, 210-218-220 Olive Street, Saint Louis, Independent City, MO

[whatisonthemoon]

Imagination Theology: The Problem and the Solution

An archived WIOTM post from Graham Lester from September 17, 2012:

The traditional Unification doctrine is that Sun Myung Moon discovered the Divine Principle revelation through his own efforts, largely by conducting spirit-world interrogations of people like God, Jesus, Satan, John the Baptist, Adam and Eve, etc. Anyone can search the speeches and find numerous references to such encounters. There are two main reasons why this doctrine needs to be reviewed.

First, Moon clearly did not have any special ability to look into the spirit world: 1) he told members that his physical family had been murdered by the North Koreans when they were actually living unmolested under Kim Il Sung’s rule (how could he not know that they were not in spirit world?); 2) he admitted in a speech reproduced in Blessing and Ideal Family (“Case 3. The Story of a Couple”) that he really did not know how the couples he matched would turn out and only told them he did in order to encourage them; 3) he consulted spiritualists, especially when matching his own children (and he seems to have taken very poor advice from them); and 4) he was deceived by Cleophas, the Zimbabwean who claimed to be Heung Jin Nim. There are many similar examples of how his spiritual abilities always failed the “Where’s the beef?” test.

Second, the essential teachings of Unification Theology – the original ideal, the sexual fall, the need for Jesus to be accepted, and the physical return of Christ as a Korean man – were reasonably well known among fringe elements of the Korean Christian community well before Moon started his ministry. They were all taught by a lady named Song Do Kim as early as 1924 and some of them were around even before that.

In the 1970s, a theologian asked Sun Myung Moon how he had come up with Unification Theology and answered that he used his imagination.

This is the key to the whole thing! What Sun Myung Moon was really blessed with was an incredibly prodigious imagination. He took elements from the teachings of other people and then elaborated on them using that wondrous imagination of his. Church members then further expanded the teaching by adding such elements as dual characteristics theory and the history parallels and by finding additional Bible quotes to support the theology.

Once we view Unification Theology as a theology of imagination we can understand all the problems of the movement.

The reason that the True Children are no less “sinful” than you and me is that they do not actually have a special blood lineage; they only imagine that they do (those among them who still believe).

The reason that the second generation are just as “sinful” as the first, and that the third generation will be just as “sinful” as the second, is that original sin is an imaginary problem inherited from two imaginary ancestors. You cannot cure evil by holding a ceremony and removing an imaginary sin. How I wish you could.

Now the GOOD NEWS! The good news is that the future is also up to YOUR IMAGINATION! The future can be anything you want it to be. The theology can be anything you want it to be. It is all up to you. You are free. All you have to do is to recognize that Unification Theology is a theology of imagination. The evidence is overwhelming that it is. Recognizing it as such is the solution to all of the problems of the Moon family, all of the problems of the church, and all of the problems of the movement.

Graham C. Lester

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Why the Unification Church Failed

▲ HSA-UWC sign in Seoul broken by Moon's first wife, Sun-gil Choi, using the baseball bat he kept at home. She had caught him having pikareum sex with two women.

The church failed because the Divine Principle isn’t true. It’s as simple as that.

Adam and Eve never existed, so Divine Principle is invalid at its very root.

Moon spun tales about Adam and Eve in order to facilitate his sexual exploitation of vulnerable women, which is thoroughly documented. Without Adam and Eve there is no way for the church to justify Moon’s bizarre sex life.

Because there was no Adam and Eve there was no need for a new lineage. Moon’s own lineage was not special in any way and all his children eventually cracked up because of bad parenting.

Moon had no actual plan for creating an ideal world, so once he rose to a certain level of prominence around 1990 or so he had nothing left to offer. He had no plan because he was not the messiah.

Moon met with world leaders in all fields but he had nothing concrete to offer them. None of the academics really accepted Divine Principle because they could see it was bogus. Only a few would agree to say nice things about the Principle in exchange for cash or other payment.

People like Dennis Hastert, people in desperate need of money for one reason or another, were the only prominent people who were willing to work with Moon.

Finally, Moon’s insistence on controlling other people’s love lives through random arranged marriages made it impossible for the church to maintain its momentum.

Graham C. Lester

––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Dennis Hastert was jailed for financial crimes – and he had made payments to boys he had sexually abused. He also gave speeches in support of Moon group events for which he was no doubt paid. How he used that money is not known.

Moon’s theology for his pikareum sex rituals with all the 36 wives

‘The whole thing about the messiah is a human construct’

Adam and Eve, the human male Y-chromosome and Sun Myung Moon

Imagination Theology: The problem and the solution

The Psychology Behind Religious Belief

The Believing Brain: From Spiritual Faiths to Political Convictions – How We Construct Beliefs and Reinforce Them as Truths Book by Michael Shermer

The Believing Brain – Michael Shermer talks about his book.

Hopping from Rabbit Hole to Rabbit Hole

[recentanimenews]

Baccano!: 1932 Summer: Man in the Killer

By Ryohgo Narita and Katsumi Enami. Released in Japan by Dengeki Bunko. Released in North America by Yen On. Translated by Taylor Engel.

After a very depressing 1700s volume of Baccano!, it’s nice to be able to get a book that is back at “home base”, so to speak: the 1930s. And this book is markedly lighter in tone, despite featuring a series of murders and an examination of what sort of person you have to be in order to commit said murders. It was originally written as an extra for those who bought the Baccano! anime DVDs Vol. 1-5 in Japan, then fleshed out for this book. That said, let’s face it, the main draw is on the cover art. If you asked any Baccano! fan which two characters absolutely should not meet because the world might end if they started talking to each other, Elmer C. Albatross and Graham Specter would be right at the top. Oh, don’t get me wrong, after a brief misunderstanding they get on like a house on fire. But that is the trouble. The last thing anyone like Graham, who Shaft can barely rein in at the best of times, needs is Elmer’s philosophy of life.

This takes place about seven months after Drugs and the Dominoes and about a year or so before The Slash, and features a few of the characters from both books. It also serves as an odd epilogue to The Rolling Bootlegs. There is a serial killer in the city, Ice Pick Thompson, whose nickname comes from his murder method. We meet Lester, a reporter who’s been ordered to follow the story even though he really would rather avoid it; Mark, a young boy who has decided to kill himself… till he meets Elmer; and Graham, Shaft and company, who are just hanging around the city but keep getting dragged into the plot. Is this just a crazy serial killer, or is there a method to their madness? What does this have to do with the Gandors? What does this have to do with Szilard Quates? And can Isaac and Miria really become literal time? Or money?

The thing that interested me most in this book is the villain, which makes a refreshing change from the usual villains we’ve seen in Baccano!, who tend to be very obvious from the start – art least from the reader’s perspective. This one is meant to be more of a mystery – though really, not that much of one, as there’s something fishy from the start. Which is fitting, given they’re more on the Dallas Genoard end of the villain spectrum than the Fermet end. I also want to note how impressed I am with Graham and Shaft, who are not Japanese but nonetheless make the perfect manzai team. When Sham made Shaft one of his vessels, he basically created the perfect tsukkomi, as well as the only one capable of stopping Graham – not that he ever actually succeeds. The best thing about the book, though, is probably Mark, a quiet, tragic character walking around a sea of loudmouthed extroverts.

If you enjoyed being back in the 1930s, worry not, we’re soon going to be there on a more permanent basis. But first we have to wrap up the 1700s arc, and finally find out what happened on the Advenna Avis. Next time we go to 1711 and see how Huey’s holding up after Monica’s death.

By: Sean Gaffney

[whatisonthemoonarchive]

R.I.P. Unificationism (aka “The Moonies”), 1948-2018

R.I.P. Unificationism (aka “The Moonies”), 1948-2018

If you go on Facebook these days, you can find people who think that Mrs. Moon should be executed for treason having perfectly polite discussions with people who think that Mrs. Moon is the incarnation of God on earth.

Both sides pray to God for guidance and neither side is answered. Their God is silent. So, both sides hedge their bets by maintaining some sort of opening to the other side, so that they can jump ship if need be. They are very happy to call Mrs. Moon the incarnation of God on Monday and would be just as happy to chop off her head on Wednesday.

The selling off of the flagship Washington DC church and the UTS Seminary are visible, hyung sang indicators that Unificationism is now brain dead.

The fact is that the old timers have nowhere to go, theologically. Hyun Jin was condemned as a heretic and destroyer by both of his parents while they are still alive. Hyung Jin’s members ship is shrinking daily, down now to a few hundred worldwide. He is just too nuts.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Moon has radically altered the received theology. What she seems to be doing is trashing all of her husband’s contributions and returning, more or less, to the original Eve-centered theology of Ms. Seong-Do Kim that later became the theology of the Inside Belly Church, where Mrs. Moon and her mother worshipped before they got caught up in the sinister net of Unificationism. Moon’s Divine Principle has been tossed on the crap heap and is being quickly replaced by the earlier theology from which it was stolen.

This leaves traditional Moonies with three bad choices. There is no affiliation that they can embrace that does not fundamentally alter the teaching that the church had during its classic period of the 1970s to 1980s.

There is now no Unificationism. It is all over. The vessel has been shattered and only shards remain. None of those shards are big enough to hold water. And they all have sharp edges.

Graham C. Lester

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Let’s talk about the indemnity ceremony

by Graham C. Lester

There are a lot of bad cults in the world but ours was the only cult where you had to be hit very hard with a baseball bat three times just in order to qualify to get married and start a family.

Let’s talk about the indemnity ceremony! It’s possibly the most embarrassing and obviously insane thing in the whole movement. And that’s saying something.



Let’s face it, even ex-members don’t like to talk about the indemnity ceremony. The church of course tries to play it down and pretend that it was “just symbolic”. No, no, no, I say, and I was there.



The reality of the indemnity ceremony was that you had to hit your intended spouse very hard with the baseball bat. Why? Because there were fit and strong Korean men standing there who would hit your spouse with the baseball bat all over again if, in their sole judgment, they thought that you had not whacked him or her hard enough. Your spouse would get hit with a baseball bat six times instead of three because of your reticence. Because of this, people were more worried about not hitting their spouse hard enough than they were about hitting their spouse too hard.



At our indemnity ceremony in Korea in October 1982, Young Whi Kim decided that it would be fairer if the women hit the men first, contrary to the customary tradition in which the men hit the women first. I think there were more than a hundred people who got hit with the baseball bat in the “wrong” order before word came from Sun Myung Moon himself that this change in order was unacceptable and that all those people would have to be whacked all over again.



The atmosphere at the indemnity ceremony was horrible. There was evil in the air. Many people treated it as a kind of sport and openly celebrated whenever anybody got hit especially hard. The whole thing was a disgrace of the worst kind.



But the importance of the indemnity ceremony today is that it is absolute proof of how far we all had fallen – me, you, and every “blessed” first generation member. Don’t say that you were somehow only on the periphery of the movement, or that you never really drank the Kool-Aid, not if you were ever part of the indemnity ceremony. Believe me, you were solid gone and your participation in such an outrage is the proof. You surrendered your conscience. You became part of the beast. You can lie to yourself about it but the truth is the truth.



The indemnity ceremony made Nazis of us all and there was never even a persuasive theological justification for it. How shameful.



_____________________________________

Comment

Some Japanese members were hospitalized due to injuries from the Indemnity Stick Ceremony.

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

Sun Myung Moon’s Theology of the Fall, Tamar, Jesus and Mary

Can the Moonies talk honestly about polygamy?

Father’s plans to impregnate Mrs. Jesus back in 1978.

Adam and Eve never really existed. I can’t say this often enough: Adam and Eve never really existed. Once you understand that you know everything you need to know about Divine Principle and the Moon family. Graham C. Lester

Does everything have a sung sang (internal character)?

Ten things Sun Myung Moon didn’t do

Black Heung Jin Nim – Violence in the Moon church

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Listen up bitches

by JuneIsAMonth19

"Youre in for a wild ride sweet cheeks"

Words: 626, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stranger Things (TV 2016), Sense8 (TV), Free!, Bones (TV), Hannibal (TV), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Grey's Anatomy, SKAM (TV), Bandom, Shameless (US), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli, All For the Game - Nora Sakavic, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, One Direction (Band), Riverdale (TV 2017), Once Upon a Time (TV), Voltron: Legendary Defender, Game of Thrones (TV), Merlin (TV), Wynonna Earp (TV), Sherlock (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime), Star Trek, Doctor Who, Check Please! (Webcomic), Shadowhunters (TV), The Hobbit - All Media Types, Adventure Time, X-Men - All Media Types, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Kingsman (Movies), Carmilla (Web Series), The 100 (TV), Arrow (TV 2012), Star Wars - All Media Types, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Lucifer (TV), Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat, Twenty One Pilots, Rise of the Guardians (2012), Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Eleven/Mike Wheeler, Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar, Riley Blue/Will Gorski, Amanita Caplan/Nomi Marks, Hernando Fuentes/Lito Rodriguez, Capheus/Kala/Lito/Nomi/Riley/Sun/Will/Wolfgang, Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Nanase Haruka & Tachibana Makoto, Seeley Booth/Temperance Brennan, Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day/Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Grant Ward, Lincoln Campbell/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews/Jughead Jones, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Loki/Thor, Peter Quill/Thor, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers/Sara Lance, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Barry Allen/Iris West, Barry Allen/Oliver Queen, Cisco Ramon/Lisa Snart, Cisco Ramon/Hartley Rathaway, Cisco Ramon/Caitlin Snow, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Morgana (Merlin), Barry Allen/Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Cat Grant, Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, James T. Kirk/Spock, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff, Original Percival Graves/Newt Scamander, Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander, Credence Barebone/Newt Scamander, Prince Gumball/Marshall Lee, Twelfth Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald, Eleventh Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Eleventh Doctor/River Song, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Princess Bubblegum/Marceline, Eva Kviig Mohn/Noora Amalie Sætre, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Isaac Lahey/Scott McCall, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Tommy Merlyn/Oliver Queen, Ra's al Ghul/Oliver Queen, Oliver Queen/Slade Wilson, Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, Poe Dameron/Finn, Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, E. Aster Bunnymund/Jack Frost, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Damen & Laurent (Captive Prince), Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish

Additional Tags: Crossover, Humor, Attempt at Humor, The Author Regrets Nothing

from AO3 works tagged 'Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor' http://ift.tt/2BOQkR8 via IFTTT

[ao3feed-spirk]

Listen up bitches

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2BOQkR8

by JuneIsAMonth19

"Youre in for a wild ride sweet cheeks"

Words: 572, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stranger Things (TV 2016), Sense8 (TV), Free!, Bones (TV), Hannibal (TV), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Grey's Anatomy, SKAM (TV), Bandom, Shameless (US), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli, All For the Game - Nora Sakavic, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, One Direction (Band), Riverdale (TV 2017), Once Upon a Time (TV), Voltron: Legendary Defender, Game of Thrones (TV), Merlin (TV), Wynonna Earp (TV), Sherlock (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime), Star Trek, Doctor Who, Check Please! (Webcomic), Shadowhunters (TV), The Hobbit - All Media Types, Adventure Time, X-Men - All Media Types, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Kingsman (Movies), Carmilla (Web Series), The 100 (TV), Arrow (TV 2012), Star Wars - All Media Types, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Lucifer (TV), Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat, Twenty One Pilots, Rise of the Guardians (2012), Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Eleven/Mike Wheeler, Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar, Riley Blue/Will Gorski, Amanita Caplan/Nomi Marks, Hernando Fuentes/Lito Rodriguez, Capheus/Kala/Lito/Nomi/Riley/Sun/Will/Wolfgang, Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Nanase Haruka & Tachibana Makoto, Seeley Booth/Temperance Brennan, Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day/Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Grant Ward, Lincoln Campbell/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews/Jughead Jones, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Loki/Thor, Peter Quill/Thor, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers/Sara Lance, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Barry Allen/Iris West, Barry Allen/Oliver Queen, Cisco Ramon/Lisa Snart, Cisco Ramon/Hartley Rathaway, Cisco Ramon/Caitlin Snow, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Morgana (Merlin), Barry Allen/Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Cat Grant, Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, James T. Kirk/Spock, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff, Original Percival Graves/Newt Scamander, Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander, Credence Barebone/Newt Scamander, Prince Gumball/Marshall Lee, Twelfth Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald, Eleventh Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Eleventh Doctor/River Song, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Princess Bubblegum/Marceline, Eva Kviig Mohn/Noora Amalie Sætre, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Isaac Lahey/Scott McCall, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Tommy Merlyn/Oliver Queen, Ra's al Ghul/Oliver Queen, Oliver Queen/Slade Wilson, Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, Poe Dameron/Finn, Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, E. Aster Bunnymund/Jack Frost, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Damen & Laurent (Captive Prince), Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish

Additional Tags: Crossover, Humor, Attempt at Humor, The Author Regrets Nothing

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2BOQkR8

[ao3feed-karamel]

Listen up bitches

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2BOQkR8

by JuneIsAMonth19

"Youre in for a wild ride sweet cheeks"

Words: 572, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stranger Things (TV 2016), Sense8 (TV), Free!, Bones (TV), Hannibal (TV), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Grey's Anatomy, SKAM (TV), Bandom, Shameless (US), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli, All For the Game - Nora Sakavic, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, One Direction (Band), Riverdale (TV 2017), Once Upon a Time (TV), Voltron: Legendary Defender, Game of Thrones (TV), Merlin (TV), Wynonna Earp (TV), Sherlock (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime), Star Trek, Doctor Who, Check Please! (Webcomic), Shadowhunters (TV), The Hobbit - All Media Types, Adventure Time, X-Men - All Media Types, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Kingsman (Movies), Carmilla (Web Series), The 100 (TV), Arrow (TV 2012), Star Wars - All Media Types, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Lucifer (TV), Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat, Twenty One Pilots, Rise of the Guardians (2012), Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Eleven/Mike Wheeler, Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar, Riley Blue/Will Gorski, Amanita Caplan/Nomi Marks, Hernando Fuentes/Lito Rodriguez, Capheus/Kala/Lito/Nomi/Riley/Sun/Will/Wolfgang, Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Nanase Haruka & Tachibana Makoto, Seeley Booth/Temperance Brennan, Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day/Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Grant Ward, Lincoln Campbell/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews/Jughead Jones, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Keith/Lance (Voltron), Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Loki/Thor, Peter Quill/Thor, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers/Sara Lance, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Barry Allen/Iris West, Barry Allen/Oliver Queen, Cisco Ramon/Lisa Snart, Cisco Ramon/Hartley Rathaway, Cisco Ramon/Caitlin Snow, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Morgana (Merlin), Barry Allen/Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Cat Grant, Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, James T. Kirk/Spock, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff, Original Percival Graves/Newt Scamander, Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander, Credence Barebone/Newt Scamander, Prince Gumball/Marshall Lee, Twelfth Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald, Eleventh Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Eleventh Doctor/River Song, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Princess Bubblegum/Marceline, Eva Kviig Mohn/Noora Amalie Sætre, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Isaac Lahey/Scott McCall, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Tommy Merlyn/Oliver Queen, Ra's al Ghul/Oliver Queen, Oliver Queen/Slade Wilson, Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, Poe Dameron/Finn, Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, E. Aster Bunnymund/Jack Frost, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Damen & Laurent (Captive Prince), Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish

Additional Tags: Crossover, Humor, Attempt at Humor, The Author Regrets Nothing

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2BOQkR8