#HAPPY 500 🗣️

[eggyrocks]

SEVENTY TWO WITH IWA IM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES FOR IT ALSO HAPPY 500 YIPEEE -(🗣️Anon)

the way i was praying to fucking god that someone would request this exactly thank u so much

500 followers special: #72: “I will knock you on your ass if you even think about it.”

iwaizumi x gn reader, established relationship, use of 'baby' as a pet name, drinking & smoking, cursing, lame men, the threat of violence, not proofread

written content masterlist

There are three key mistakes that they made.

It's the same three mistakes they make every time they go out drinking, always in the same order.

First, they always order one too many rounds of shots. Whenever they're drunk enough to feel giddy and sober enough to stand upright, they always push their luck with one round that leads to another, and that leads to them crawling out of the bar when no one is looking to make their second mistake.

When there is a drag in their step and a slur in their speech, they find the nearest, painfully bright, twenty-four-hour convenience store, and they buy a fresh new pack of shiny cigarettes, and a sleek new lighter.

Which, in turn, almost always leads to their third mistake: getting lost.

They don't have the best sense of direction with a clear head. When their eyesight is blurred and their head is spinning, there is no chance of them stepping foot in the right direction. For a moment after they step out of the shop, they spin in one direction, and then another, trying to remember which one they came from.

It takes them all of one minute before they admit to hopelessness, collapsing to sit on the edge of the sidewalk, too drunk to care about the cleanliness of it.

The brightness of their phone makes them flinch, and hold the phone away from their face, trying to shield their eyes from it. "Fucking shit, Siri, for the love of god, please call Hajime."

They're a bit slow to process that the phone obeys them. They're still trying to figure out how the fuck you put the goddamn phone on speaker when he answers. Faintly, they can hear is phone on the other line. They give up, and slide their phone against their ear. "Haji," they say, drunk and whiny and frustrated, "I'm fucking lost."

He makes a noise on the other line of the phone that seems like it's a cross between reluctant amusement and frustration. "Where are you right now?"

"I don't know, I just said I'm lost," they reply, looking around their surroundings and trying to spot something that seems familiar. They twist their head back to see the shop they just bought the cigarettes from, and then perk up at the reminder that they have cigarettes in their pocket now. "I just bought some cigs at this random ass store and I don't know where the bar is or if my friends are still there."

Iwaizumi groans. "Fucking of course. Alright, listen, just stay there. I have your location on and I'll come find you."

A pout forms on their lips. "Are you mad at me?"

There's a bit of shuffling on the other end. "No, baby, I'm not mad at you. You're just kind of a dumbass sometimes."

They can't argue, so they laugh, holdinng the phone between their shoulder and their ear, as their hands tear into the packet of cigarettes. "How far away are you?" they question.

"About ten minutes," he says, voice sounding a bit further away now. "Hang up and save your battery. Call me back if anything happens and stay put."

"'Kay," they agree, words now muffled by the cigarette between their teeth. "Love you."

They wait until Iwaizumi responds, "Love you," before they're pocketing their phone once more, following his instructions to save the battery. And they wait.

It sucks. Sitting there on the sidewalk, the alcohol making them feel sloppy and messy, like their head is not on right. There's too many people on the street tonight, too. Crowds of people walk behind them, some stumbling into the same store as them for drunken snacks and hefty bottles of water. They try to people watch to pass the time, but it makes their head hurt to lift it up.

Their elbows are on their knees, and their eyes buried into the palms of their hands, lit cigarette loosely dangling from their fingers, waiting for the buzz of their phone or the sound of Iwaizumi's voice, when there's a warmth beside them.

It takes them a second to process the thigh being pressed against theirs from someone sitting too close. They know at once it's not Iwaizumi. The cologne is too strong and it makes them feel a bout of nausea.

They reluctantly lift their head to see the grinning, unfamiliar face of a man that looks just a touch less drunk than they feel. "You look way too drunk to be sitting here alone," he says in a way that seems more amused than concerned. They try to scoot away from him without him noticing. "Need help getting home?"

"No," they reply, putting all of their effort into making their voice sound clear and even. They inhale a puff of smoke and blow it out towards his face.

The stranger does not react to it, he just keeps grinning down at them. "What's your name?" he questions, unrelenting.

They just blink back at him, unwilling to provide even that.

And even then, he is still undeterred. "Okay, well, whatever your name is, I have a really good idea here. I have an Uber on the way, and you can just hop in there with me, and then come back to my place. How does that sound?"

"Fucking stupid," is their natural response. And the second it comes out of their mouth, they giggle, unable to stop themselves and aware that they are not in the right state of mind for this sort of conversation.

"Oh, come on, don't be like that," he replies, chuckling now too, as if he took their laughter as a good sign. "It'll be fun. I'll even let you sleep in one of my t-shirts."

All they can think of then is Iwaizumi, of stealing his clothes and sleeping in them for hours. The thought puts a smile on their face, and with their blurred vision getting worse, they start to lose sight of exactly where they are.

"Aw, see, look at that smile!" he says, but he feels far away, to them. "Uber's almost here. Want me to help you in?"

"I will knock you on your ass if you even think about."

His voice is clear, strong, and familiar, and it makes them shoot upright, allowing them a momentary moment of sobriety. The cigarette falls from their fingers, forgotten, as they turn to see Iwaizumi approaching, and launch to their feet.

He looks enraged, brow furrowed and a glare fixed harshly on his expression. But it's not anything they haven't seen on Iwaizumi before. It doesn't stop them as they rush towards him, arms flinging over his shoulders. "Haji!" they exclaim, ecstatic at the sight of him. "I missed you."

To his credit, Iwaizumi does take a moment to kiss the top of their head, and his arm does find its place secure around their waist, but his glare does not waiver from the man still seated on the edge of the sidewalk. "Get in your fucking Uber before I break your legs and you need help getting in, dickhead," he snarls.

The words hit their drunken ears, and they lean back from their embrace, trying to catch Iwaizumi's eye. "Are you talking to me right now?"

"No, baby, just hold on a second, alright?" he says to them. "Gotta make sure gentleman of the year here goes home on his own without fucking kidnapping someone else."

"I think you're gentleman of the year," they mumble, still holding onto his neck, and resting their head against his chest.

Iwaizumi's lip twitches, just slightly. And they're sure that there's a conversation that continues from that point, they can vaguely hear words that sound distant to them, and can feel curses rumble in Iwaizumi's chest, but all they can focus on is how nice it's going to be to go home with him. And to drink a glass of cold water. That they are really looking forward to.

Eventually, after what seems like another hour but is just an additional forty-five seconds, Iwaizumi gently pulls them to walk alongside them. Their feet stumble to follow, but it doesn't matter too much, he's holding up most of them, anyways.

"You gotta stop running away from your friends when you go out," he tells them. "I almost had to kill that guy. You'd be so upset if I had to go to jail for murder."

"Oh, is that what happened?" they slur, eyes closed and trusting Iwaizumi with every step they take. "Yeah, that'd be bad. I'd have to do a murder too so we'd be in jail together."

"Not sure it works that way."

"You're not mad at me, right?"

Iwaizumi chuckles. "No, not right now. I'll save the alcohol safety lecture for when you're hungover tomorrow."

"Awesome. So that means you'll carry me home the rest of the way, right?"

Iwaizumi sighs, as if this is some inconvenience for him. But he grins as he hooks his arm under their knees and holds them close to his chest. And they're asleep in his arms before he even clears the block.

an: DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM YOUR FRIENDS WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK. NO MATTER HOW FUN IT MAY SEEM. DO NOT DO IT.

[tw33k-tucker]

ITS JUNE‼️

MAKE SURE TO GIVE YOUR FELLOW LGBTQ MEMBER 500 BUCKS AND AN ICEE CAUSE ITS GETTING HOT OUT AND THEY DESERVE IT

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH MOTHER FUCKERS 🗣️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

SO I HEARD POKEMON IS YOUR EARLIEST HYPERFIXATION AND YOU LOVED THE ASK FOR POKEMON X OP???

WE ARE MAKING NYARLA HAPPY WITH THIS ONE BOYS 🗣️🗣️🗣️ ‼️

Would you rather we ask you OP with existing Pokémon or some crack bs with OP blorbos *falling* into Pokémon Universe dur to like a devil fruit power or something?

Also who's your favourite Pokémon? And type? (MIMIKYU/SPIRITOMB FOR LIFE HERE AND GHOST TYPE)

I'd love if you could do the OP blorbos with a Reader who has a Mimikyu/Spiritomb (MY SPIRITOMB IS ALWAYS CALLED SPOOKY FUN FACT) and how they'd interact with said Pokémon/if their babies would get along with Reader's babies (DON'T FALL INTO THE TRAP OF ASSUMING GHOST AND DARK TYPES ARE ALL EVIL I PROMISE YOU MY BABIES ARE SWEET AF 😭 TIRED OF MISREPRESENTATION)

My brain when Pokémon/One Piece asks:

keep your composure keep your composure keep your mfing composure what would Mihawk do he would absolutely keep his composure be like Mihawk keep your composure Nyarla keep your BUT but but wait what would Shanks do INTERNAL SCREEEEEEEMING—

My brain is short circuiting.

My primary type is psychic. Sabrina was practically my goth awakening at seven years old, and Abra is my spirit animal (immediately teleport away when presented with anything unfamiliar or even potentially threatening). My secondary type is ghost, in no small part thanks to the fact that I started writing "horror" as soon as I could properly hold a pencil ("horror" here meaning silly lil ghost stories that probably made no sense to anyone but me).

I was also the kid glitching out my game with my older brother's game genie trying to catch all the Pokémon ghosts in the tower in Lavender Town because I was so sad that they were lonely, so that should give some insight as to how I feel about ghosts, Pokémon, and ghost type Pokémon in general.

Any asks are welcome asks, I did not realize I needed Pokemon/One Piece in my life but I am

I am—

I am not incredibly familiar with Mimikyu or Spiritomb (my last Pokemon games were Diamond/Pearl), but I will be doing research like a proper Pokémon Professor to learn as much about them as humanly possibly. I know more about Mimikyu and frankly the poor bb just wants to be loved and deserves absolutely all of the love.

Pikachu is overrated anyway. I said it and I will fcking stand by it, and Mimikyu's very existence only further solidifies this opinion within me. Out of all the iconic Pokémon in the original anime itself, Team Rocket's Meowth is and will always be my darling bb. Smart-mouthed lil mafia cat who deserves SO MUCH BETTER—

Ahem.

Brief reading into Spiritomb has, at first glance, enlightened me to the following:

Several Pokédex entries state that Spiritomb was sealed roughly 500 years before the present time. The Pokémon lays curses with its wicked thoughts. It will lash out at anyone with little thought, often exercising short-sightedness in its pursuit of vengeance.

And I am beyond intrigued by every last word of that. Historical ghost Pokémon? Vengeful lil ghost bb? I want one RIGHT NOW—

On an unrelated note, tysm for this, I just had a briefly horrifying moment because my cat made a mad dash out the door as I was taking the trash out. He is back inside and safe now but I almost had a heart attack when he zipped past my feet and into the darkness, and this has helped calm me down so much 😭😭♥️♥️

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

500 Follower Special!!! (the worst one yet)

So uhhhhhh

...I did not actually think that I would hit 500 followers within a month of hitting 400 so I forgot to prepare the milestone special

But I figured I have to give you something, right? Something I could make easily and quickly, but not something lazy like a terribly made mashup song or a few halfhearted memes, it had to be something you could come back to time and time again, and something of realistic value.

So I made copypastas for some iconic 90s songs.

Expand the post to see them all. Sorry in advance. And yes, you may make requests for more.

[Creep]

When 🕗 you 👉 were ➕ here 📍 before 😺 Couldn't 🙅‍♂️ look 👀 you 👈🏼 in 🍑💦 the eye 😙 You're 🏼 just 😤😤 like 🩸 an angel 😇 Your 👉 skin ♂️ makes 🖕 me 🥵🥵😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 cry 👤😢😭 You 😳 float 🚣‍♀️👩‍✈️💆🏻‍♀️ like 👍 a feather In 🛌 a beautiful 🔴🔷🔸 world 🤷🌍 I 😀 wish 🌠 I 😣🤐 was special 👁️👄👁️ You're 🏻 so fuckin' 👉👌 special 👁️👄👁️ But 🔚🎮🍑 I'm 💦👌🏻💪 a creep 👀🤫 I'm 💥 a weirdo 🤪 What ❓ the hell 👦 am 🙌 I 👀😂 doin' 🤓 here? 🈁📍 I 👀 don't 💰 belong 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🚽 here 📍 I 🧠👅 don't ❌ care 😜😩 if it hurts 🤕 I 😍 wanna 😱 have 🈶 control 🤔🎮 I 🏻 want 🤬 a perfect 💯 body 👀 I 🙋‍♂️ want 👄 a perfect 😜😚🥰 soul 👻 I 😀 want 🤲🤲 you 😀🤟 to notice 👎 When 🍑 I'm 💆‍♀️ not 🚯 around ➕🏜️➡️👤 So fuckin' 👌🏻💯 special 👉😎👈 I 👌 wish 🙏🙏🙏 I 😊 was special 👁️👄👁️ But 🍑 I'm 😇 a creep 👀🤫 I'm 📍 a weirdo 🤪 What 🤔😡 the hell 🐕😭📛 am 👄 I 👏👏😠 doin' 🤓 here? 🈁 I 💭🏿 don't 🚫 belong 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🚽 here 🙈🌟🌟✨✨ She's 👩🏾 running 🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️😍 out 😾 the door 🚪 (run) 🏃‍♂️ She's 🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑 running 🏃‍♀ out 😜🚪 She 👩🏾👩🏿 run, 🏃 run, 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️ run, 🏃🏃 run 🏃 Run 🏃🏃 Whatever 😴 makes 🖕 you 😀 happy 😁 Whatever 💯 you 👈 want 😋 You're 😭 so fuckin' 😩 special 👁️👄👁️ I 👀 wish 🌠 I 👀🌈 was special 👁️👄👁️ But 🍑 I'm ☝️ a creep 👀🤫 I'm 👏🏻 a weirdo 🤪 What 👀🤷🏻‍♀️ the hell 🔥🥵 am 🙌 I 👅 doin' 🤓 here? 🥵 I 😊 don't 🚫 belong 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🚽 here 💦💪 I 😞😳 don't 🙅‍♀️ belong 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🚽 here 🔪🔥

[Common People]

She 👩 came 👅🍆💦 from 😤 Greece 🇬🇱 she 👩 had ✊ a thirst 💦 for 💦 knowledge 📚 She 🥰 studied sculpture at Saint 😈 Martin's College That's 🦎 where 👀 I 🙀 Caught 🏃🏾‍♂️💨👮‍♂️👮‍♂️ her 👩 eye 😻 She 👩 told 👉 me ✌️ that 😐 her 👩 dad 😪🏼 was loaded I 😀 said, 😁 in 🍑 that 💀 case 😎💯 I'll 🎅👏 have 🎲 rum and Coca-Cola She 🙉 said 💬 fine 🙊 And then 🙈👱 in ☮️ thirty 🕧 seconds 😫 time 😁✨💞 she 👩 said 💬🙈 I 😊😀😀😀😀😀 wanna 🤕 live 🐙 like 😄 common 😍😍 people 👩👫 I 😀 wanna 👯‍♂️ do ⏳ whatever 😐 common 🐩 people 👫 do 🦤 Wanna 🤕 sleep 😴 with common 😍 people 👨 I 😊 wanna 🙇🙇 sleep 😪 with common 🐩 people 👨‍👨‍👧‍👦 Like 💖 you 👈 Oh 🦋 what 🍑 else 🏿😩 could 🤔🤔 I 🏻 do 👏🚫👀 I 😊 said 🗣️🗣️ I'll, 📷 I'll 🙅🏿🎡 see 👀 what ❓ I 😊 can 🦎 do ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ I 😩 took ✋ her 👄 to a supermarket I 😀 don't ✋ know 🤓 why 🤔 But 🍑 I 😊😊😊😊😊😊😀😊 had 💔 to start 💢 it somewhere 👉 So it started 🆕 there 😂 I ℹ️ℹ️ said 💬 pretend 🙃 you've 😦 got 🉐 no 😣😣😣 money 👛 She 💁‍♀️ just 😡 laughed 😂 and said 💬 Oh 😯 you're 🥵 so funny 😃 I 😏 said; 🗣️ yeah ☔ I 😊 can't 💦💦 see 👀 anyone 🙋 else 🖤 smiling ✨💫🧚‍♀️ in 🧚🏻 here 🍒 Are you 🤡 sure? 👍 You 👈 wanna 👯‍♂️ live 🐙 like 💁‍♀️ common 🐩 people �� You 🕛👊 wanna 😷 see 👥 whatever 😒 common 😍😍 people 👫 see 👀 Wanna 🌺 sleep 🛏 with common 😍😍 people 👩👫 You 👦👉 wanna 🥀 sleep 😪 with common 🐩 people 💁 Like 👋 me 👦 But 😜 she 👩 didn't 🙅🏻‍♂️ understand 😆😅😊 She 🙋‍♀️ just 👌 smiled and held 👨‍💼 my 😖🙂 hand 🤲 Rent a flat 🌠🌑🌒🪐☄️ above 🆙🆙🆙 a shop Cut 😣 your 👈 hair 💇 and get 🔥 a job 💼 Smoke 💨 some 🐺💯 fags and play 🎲 some 💥💥 pool 🎱 Pretend 🙃 you ‼️‼️ never 🚫 went 💨 to school 😑 But 🍑 still ⏰👠 you'll 🤓 never 🙅 get 🉐 it right 🔰🔰 'Cause 🔫 when 🕛🕐 you're ❌ laid 🍆 in 🅰️ bed 🛌 at night 🌑🌑 Watching 👀 roaches climb 📼 the wall 😎🥳🤑 If you 😊 called 👱🏽📞 your 👈 dad 🌱 he 👨 could 👈 stop ✋ it all, 💯 yeah 🚜

You'll 👸 never 🚫 live 💣👦 like 💖👍 common 🐩 people 👥 You'll 🏃👧 never 🚫 do 👂 whatever 💯 common 😍😍 people 👨👲 do 👌 You'll 👏 never ❌ fail 🤧🤧 like 😄 common 😍 people 😣👥 You'll 👏 never ❌❕❕❕❕ watch 👀 your 🍂 life 💓 slide 🎉🎢 out ↘️ of view ⛲ And you 👈 dance 🐲 and drink 🍶 and screw Because ➡️ there's 😹 nothing 😜🤙✋ else 😔 to do 😆 Sing 🎤🎙️ along 🎶 with the common 🐩 people 👫👬👭 Sing 🎶😙 along 💁🔚 and it might 🤷🏻‍♀️ just 🕛👀 get 🉐 you 👈 through 🧑‍⚖️ Laugh 😄 along 💁🔚 with the common 😍 people 👩‍🌾 Laugh 😂 along 🔚🔚 even 🌃 though 💫🧚🏻💗 they're 👥 really 👅😻 laughing 😅 at you 😀😀😀 And the stupid 🤤 things 👆👀 that 😐🤔 you 🤗🤖 do 🚶‍♂️ Because 🎉 you 👉👦 think 🤔 that 😐 poor 💸 is cool 😎 Like 🎅 a dog 🐩 lying 🤥 in 👏🏡 a corner 🌽 They 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 will 👏💰 bite 👄 you 😀 and never ❌🔚 warn you 👈 Look 👀 out, 👉 they'll 👯‍♂️ tear 😂 your 😩 insides 💠 out 👉 'Cause 😛🤓 everybody 👴👵👨 hates 😡 a tourist Especially one 1️⃣ who 📷 thinks 🪐 it's all ➡️🕥2️⃣ such 😛🍎 a laugh 😐 Yeah 🕢👩‍👩‍👧👏🏻👠 and the chip 🍟 stains and grease Will 🐼 come 🌽 out 😵😵 in ☝🏻 the bath 🛀 You 😀 will 💰🏼 never ✖️ understand ✖️ How 🤔 it feels 😤 to live 👦🏻👰🏾👉🏻 your 🙌 life 🍆💦💦💦🍂🍂🍂 With no ⛔ meaning 😏 or control 🕺 And with nowhere ❓ left 👈 to go 🦗 You 😀🤟 are amazed 😳 that 🤔 they 👥👨 exist And they 🏽 burn 🔥 so bright 😎 Whilst 🎩 you 👈 can 😜 only 🤏 wonder 💭 why 🤔 Rent a flat 🌠🌑🌒🪐☄️ above 🆙 a shop Cut ❓😱 your 👩‍💼 hair 🙆 and get 🉐 a job 👅🍑🤪 Smoke 🚫 some 😋 fags and play 🎽 some 🌽 pool 🏊 Pretend 🙃 you 👈 never ❌ went 👣 to school 🍯🍵☕🍯🍼☕ But 🍑 still 👠📞 you'll 👈 never ❌ get 🔟 it right 📐 'Cause 💋 when 🍑 you're 👌 laid 😂 in 🍑🙍 bed 😴🛌 at night 🌙 Watching 👁️ roaches climb 📼 the wall 😎🥳🤑 If you 👉🤖 called 📲 your 👉 dad 👨 he 💁‍♂️💁‍♂️💁‍♂️ could 😟 stop ✋ it all 👾 Yeah 😩 Never 🚫 live 😜 like 😄 common 😍😍 people 👶 Never 😅 do 😣 what 💘💦👑 common 🐩 people 👫👨 do 🍆👺 Never 🚫 fail 🚫 like 👍 common 😍😍 people 👨 You'll 😭 never 🚫 watch 👀 your 🌽 life 👊🧬 slide 😏 out 🔍 of view ⛲ And then 🙄 dance 🐲 and drink 🍶 and screw Because 🙆🏽 there's 😹 nothing 💃🏼 else 🙅‍♀️ to do 🤨 Wanna 😌 live 🐙 with common 😍😍 people 👥 like 💖 you 👈 Wanna 😌 live 🐙 with common 🐩 people 👩👨 like 💖 you 🦎 Wanna 🙏 live 💣 with common 🐩 people 👩‍🌾 like 😻👫 you 👏 Wanna 🤘🏻 live 👦 with common 😍😍 people 👫 like 😛 you 🦎 Wanna 💀 live 🐙 with common 😍😍 people 🤥🤫 like 📷 you 👆 Wanna 🙇🙇 live 👦🏻👰🏾👉🏻 with common 🐩 people 👨 like 👧👍 you 👈 I 💁 wanna 💀 live 🐙 with common 🐩 people 👪 like 💗 you 👉 Oh, 😯 la, 🧚 la, 💰 la, 🎶 la 🎶 Oh, 😳 la, 💰💰 la, 💰 la, 💰💰 la 💅 Oh, 😰 la, 🎶 la, 💰 la, 💰 la 🎶 Oh, 🍤 la, 💰💰 la, 🎶 la, 🧚 la 😼 Oh 🦋 you 👉

[Even Flow]

Freezin' 🥶🥶 Rests his 💦 head 💆🗣️ on 🔛 a pillow made 👑 of concrete again 🥳 Oh, 🐦🎉 feelin' Maybe 🤔 he'll 🔙🔙 see 🙈👀 a little 🤏 betters, any 💦 days 🗓️ Oh, 😰 hand 🤟 out 💋 Faces 😃😍 that 🏻 he 👨🏻 sees 👀😲 time ⏳ again ❌😬 ain't ❌ that 😈 familiar Oh, 🚙 dark 🌚 grin 😄 He 📷 can't 👽 help, 😢😬 when 🕗 he's 👨 happy, 😁 he 📷 looks 👀 insane 🍑🤪 Even 🌓 flow, thoughts 💭🤔 arrive 🛬 like 💖 butterflies 😟 Oh, 🦋 he 👨 don't 🚫👎 know, 💭 so he 😳 chases them ➡️😇 away 😂 Oh, 🤔🤔🤗 someday yet ❗❗ he'll 🤴 begin 📦 his 🤜🍖 life 🦧🦧🦂🐴 again 🥳 Life 📅 again, 🥳 life 💓 again ❌ Kneelin' Lookin' 👀👀 through 💸 the paper 🤓 though 💥💭 he 💁‍♂️ doesn't 😚 know 🤔 to read 📖 Oh, 😉😯 prayin' Now 😏 to something 👤❔ that 😷😯 has 👍 never 😅 showed him 💦👱 anything 😫 Oh, 🤔🤔🤗 feelin' Understands the weather 🌡 of the winter's on ⬇️ its way 💅 Oh, 🙀🆗 ceilings Few 😋🔢 and far 🌌 between 👄 all 💯 the legal 💰😋 halls of shame 😳 Even 🌃 flow, thoughts 💭🤔 arrive 🎀 like 💖 butterflies 😟 Oh, 😳 he 👥 don't 🚫 know, 😍 so he 👥👉 chases them 🚼 away 😂 Oh, 🙀 someday yet ✨ he'll 🤴 begin 🔘 his 🙈 life 😀 again 😬 Whispering hands ✋👌🤛 gently 👅 lead 👑 him 👴 away 😂 Him 👴 away, 😇 him 👴 away 👋 Yeah, 🌍 ooh, 🎁➡️➡️👤⬆️ ah 🥶 yeah, 🙌 fuck ⬆️🖕👦🖕 it up 🔝 Even 🌃 flow, thoughts 💭🤔 arrive 🛬 like 👍 butterflies 😟 Oh, 😧😅 he 📷 don't 🙅‍♂️🚫 know, 🚫😱 so he 👨 chases them 😱 away 🔜💨 Ah, 😱 someday yet 👇👀 he'll 👦 begin 🐢 his 🦋🌟❄️ life 🤤💓 again 🤞🤞😎‼️✔️ Whispering hands 👐 gently 👅 lead 👉👌💦 him 👨 away 👋 Him 👴 away, 🥰 him 👴 away 😂😂 Yeah, ✅ ooh 🦗

[Closer]

You 💁 let 👫 me 😏 violate 💯 you 👈🏽 You 😀😊 let 👫 me 🤷🏻‍♂️ desecrate ❌ you 👈 You 💕 let 🙆 me 😰💯 penetrate you 💗 You 😻😻🥵🥵 let 💂 me 👀 complicate you 👈 I 👥 broke 💔 apart 💖💕💓 my 👪👨 insides 💠 (Help 💁 me) 🙋‍♀️ I've 💯 got 🙈 no ✋ soul 😱 to sell 💸 (Help 👏🔈👏🔈 me) 🥺 the only 🤣 thing 🕑 that 👉💀🔕🐑 works 👍🏻 for 👻 me 👊🤰👏 Help 🦎 me 👩🏻 get 5️⃣ away 😂 from 👊 myself 👈 I 💰 wanna 😡 fuck 🍑💦 you 🏼👨 like 💖 an animal 🐯 I 😣🤐 wanna 🌺 feel 😁 you 😊 from 👉 the inside 💠 I 😀 wanna 💀 fuck 👉😉 you 🤟 like 🦊 an animal 🐁 My 😀 whole 💦 existence 😂👌 is flawed You 👈 get 5️⃣ me 😤 closer 🤡➡️ to God 💃 You 👉 can 🔫 have 🈶 my 🏿 isolation You 👉 can 😜 have 🅰️ the hate 😡 that ☑️ it brings 🚶 You 👀👈 can 🔫💦 have 🈶 my 😊 absence of faith 🚫⛪ You 👉👨 can 🙋🔝🏃‍♀️ have 🈶 my 😀 everything 💯 you 🏻👈 tear 🤣 down 🤗 my 💅 reason 🤔 (Help 🦎 me) 🕴🏻 it's your 👉 sex 🍆 I 😊 can 🔫💦 smell 👃 (Help 🦎 me) 😤 you 😊🤟 make 🧃 me 🦶 perfect 😜😚🥰 Help 🦎 me 👩🏻 become 😌 somebody 👤 else 😁 I 🤚🏽 wanna 🎀 fuck 🖕 you 😱🤯😳 like 🌟 an animal 🐔 I 😊 wanna 💀 feel 😁 you 👊 from 🧚‍♀️ the inside 🧑 I 😊😊😊 wanna 😱 fuck 😏 you 😀 like 💓 an animal 🐖 My 🍗 whole 💦 existence 👌 is flawed You 😊😀 get 🉐 me 👩🏻 closer 🤡➡️ to God 🙏🤔 Through 👉⏬ every 😹 forest 🌲 Above 🆙🆙🆙 the trees 🌲 Within 😱 my 😵 stomach 😂🤣 Scraped off 😍 my 🎎 knees 🧎‍♂️🤏 I 👥 drink 🧉🍻🧉🍸 the honey 🐝 Inside 💠 your 🍌👉 hive You 🤟 are the reason 🧐 I 😊 stay 🚉🧍‍♂️ alive 🥴

[Supersonic]

I 🙀 need 👍 to be 😡🐝 myself 😈👑 I 🙋 can't ❌ be 🐝 no ❌ one ☝️ else 😁 I'm 🤩 feeling 😌 supersonic Give 🎁 me 🏻 gin and tonic You 😊🤟 can 🎥 have 😑 it all, 💯 but 🤔 How 💁❓ much 🔥 do 🏆 you ✨🧚🏻💖 want 😍 it? You 🤟 make ✊ me 🚨🏾 laugh 😆😂 Give 👐 me 🤩 your 👉 autograph Can ❌🔫 I 😩 ride 🚲 with you 👈 In 🍝🥫 your 😎 BMW? You 👈🏼 can 💦🔫 sail ⛵ with me 👩🏻 In 👉 my 😅 yellow 🚸 submarine You 👈 need 😬 to find 🔍👤 out 😜 'Cause 😛🤓 no 👎 one's 🩱 gonna 🎁➡️➡️👤⬆️ tell 🗣️🙊 you 💞👑✨ what 🤷🚟 I'm 👌 on 🔛 about ✨ You 😶 need 👍 to find 👀🔍 a way 😤✋ For 🎅🎁 what 😦 you 👦 wanna 🤕 say 😝 But 🍑🙋 before 😂 tomorrow 📆 'Cause 💋 my 🧚 friend 😀 said 💬 he'd take 🤲🏻 you 😊 home 🏚 He 💁‍♂️ sits in 📥 a corner 🌽 all 🙄🙅‍♀️ alone 👥 He 📷 lives 👤👈💓 under 😀 a waterfall Nobody 🙅 can 😳 see 👀 him 👴 Nobody 🙄 can 🧠 ever 😠 hear 👂 him 😧 call 🥣 Nobody 😯 can 🥫 ever 😤 hear 👂 him 👌😂💕 call 🤙 You 🙌 need 👉 to be 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ yourself 💁👈 You 😊 can't 🚫 be 😳 no 🏾 one 🦴 else 🏿😩 I ☝️ know 🙅‍♂️🤕🤷 a girl 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 called 🔳 Elsa She's 🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑 into 👉 Alka-Seltzer She 👧 sniffs it through 🧑‍⚖️ a cane 🍭 On 🔛 a supersonic train 🚂💨🦵💧🦵 And she 👩 makes 🖕 me 👧 laugh 😂 I 😢👨 got 📷 her 👩 autograph She 🥰 done ‼️ it with the doctor 👨‍⚕ On 🔛 a helicopter 🚁 She's 👩🏾 sniffing in 😛 a tissue Selling The Big 🤤😩 Issue 😭 And she 👩 finds 🔍 out 😜🚪 No 🙅🚫 one's 💚 gonna 💪💪 tell 📟 her 🙄🙄🧐 what 👀🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm 🙉😂 on 🧐😛😔😔😔 about 🧚‍♀️ You 😊 need ✊😇 to find 👀 a way 🤚 For 🍆🔜 what 😦 you 👈 wanna 😱 say 😫 But 🍑 before 😴 tomorrow 📆 'Cause 🔫 my 👸 friend 👩👨 said 💬 he'd take 😀👀 you 👈 home 👪👪👪 He 📷 sits in 🕺 a corner ◼️ all 💯 alone 😢 He 👥 lives 💓 under 😡 a waterfall Nobody 😯 can 💸🔫 see 😌 him 👴 Nobody 🙅 can 💦💦 ever 🤔 hear 👂 him 👨 call 😠 Nobody 🙅🤐 can 🦎 ever 😠 hear 👂 him 🤭 call 📞

[Heart-Shaped Box]

She 🤠💕 eyes 👀 me 🥰 like 💖 a Pisces 🐟 when ⏰ I 👄💦💦💦🦾 am 👩‍👧👨‍👧‍👧 weak 👶 I've 😊 been 🏼 locked 🔐🔏 inside 👸👆 your ⚠️ heart-shaped box 📦 for 🤡 weeks I've 🙋 been 👦 drawn into 🚪 your 💦 magnet tar pit trap 🙊 I 😊 wish 😜🙏 I 🚫 could 🔮 eat 🍔👅 your 📉 cancer ♋ when 😀 you 😊🤟 turn 🔄 black ⚫ Hey 😡 Wait ✋✋ I 💋🐛 got 👍 a new 🚡 complaint Forever 😻 in ⬇️ debt to your 🌊 priceless advice 👏 Hey 🎆🎊 Wait ⌚ I 👇 got 🉐 a new 👌 complaint Forever 🕗💗 in 🎻📯🎺 debt to your 👉 priceless advice 👏 Hey 👋 Wait 😳😽 I 🤫 got 📷 a new 😮👶 complaint Forever 😪😭 in 💆 debt to your 🏻 priceless advice 👏 Your ✨ advice 👏 Meat-eating orchids forgive no 🙅 one 1️⃣ just 😂 yet 😇 Cut ❓😱 myself 😉 on 🔛🏿 angel 😇 hair 💇 and baby's breath 🐙👄 Broken 💔 hymen of Your 👈 Highness, I'm 🤧 left 👈🌰 black ⚫ Throw 🥴 down ⤵️ your 👉😩 umbilical noose so I 😈 can 😜 climb 🧗‍♂️ right 📷 back 👉 Hey 👋🏻 Wait 🚏 I 😌 got 😂 a new 🆕 complaint Forever 🕗💗 in 💘😜 debt to your 🍌👉 priceless advice 👏 Hey 👋 Wait 🚏 I 😊 got 💕 a new 🥝🥝 complaint Forever 🕐🕔🕤 in 🚮 debt to your 🖕🏼 priceless advice 👏 Hey 👋❗🏾 Wait 🙇😯 I 😊 got 🔌 a new 😱 complaint Forever 🕐🕔🕤 in 🔚 debt to your 😇 priceless advice 👏 Your 👉 advice 👏 She 🤷🐰 eyes 🤩 me 🤓 like 🌸 a Pisces ♓ when 💕 I 🤢 am ⌚ weak 👶 I've 🤩 been ✳️🚗😘 locked 🔐🔏 inside 💠 your 👉 heart-shaped box 🎁 for ⌛ weeks I've 😔🧚‍♂️✨👧 been 💴🥜 drawn into 👉 your 👉 magnet tar pit trap 🙊 I 😀 wish 🚘 I 👥❌ could 🤔 eat 🍔 your 👉 cancer 🦀 when 📷 you 😚 turn 🦷 black 🖤 Hey 😠 Wait 🙇😯 I 🙀 got 🏻😩 a new ❤️ complaint Forever 😪😭 in 🙈 debt to your 👉🏽 priceless advice 👏 Hey 🙋 Wait ✋✋ I 🙋 got 🉐 a new 💇‍♀️ complaint Forever 🕗💗 in 👉 debt to your 😡👉 priceless advice 👏 Hey 👋❗🏾 Wait ⌚ I 😛 got 💦 a new 😮👶 complaint Forever 🕐🕔🕤 in 😜👌 debt to your 🥺 priceless advice 👏 Your 👉 advice 👏 Your 🕺 advice 👏 Your 👉 advice 👏

[Parklife]

Confidence 🧚🏻💞✨ is a preference for 🤦 the habitual voyeur Of what 👏 is known 💫 as (Parklife) And morning 🌅 soup 🎾🍜 can 🥫 be 😖 avoided If you 😊 take 👀 a route 🙃🙂 straight 📏 through 🪀 what 😦 is known 💫 as (Parklife) John's got 😩 brewer's droop He 📷 gets 🉐 intimidated by 😓 the dirty pigeons They 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 love 😍 a bit 😁 of him 👴 (Parklife) Who's 😈 that ❗🎢 gut 🤤 lord 👑 marching 🌲 You 👉 should 💘👶 cut 😣 down ⏬ on 😼 your 👌 pork 🐖 life 💓 mate Get 🉐 some 👨💭 exercise 🙆‍♂ All 😉 the people 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 So many ❔ people 😣👥 And they 💁 all 🥺 go 🦗 hand-in-hand Hand-in-hand through 👉⏬ their 👥 parklife Know 💭 what 🧡💛 I 😊 mean? 👀👅 I 🤢 get 🔟 up 👍 when 🔜 I ✨ want 🥞 Except 😮 on 😳 Wednesdays When 💁🏻 I 🐑🙏 get 5️⃣ rudely awakened by 😃 the dustmen (Parklife) I 😀 put 😏 my 😖 trousers 👖 on, 🔛🔛 have 🔵😤 a cup ☕ of tea ☕ And I 👀 think 🤔💭 about 🤔 leaving the house 🛖🏚️ (Parklife) I 🐑😎 feed 🍴 the pigeons, I 🎧 sometimes 🕐 feed 🍆 the sparrows too 🧍‍♀️ It gives 😚 me 🔒 a sense 💰 of enormous well-being (Parklife) And then 🥵 I'm 😈 happy 😊 for 🍆🔜 the rest 😪 of the day 🌸💞 Safe 🌺 in 👮 the knowledge 📖 there 😱😳 will 🍭🔵🎷 always 🧢 be ➡️ A bit ▪️ of my 👈 heart 🖤 devoted to it All 🟣 the people 👨 So many 👬 people 👩👫 And they 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 all 😢🙍 go 🦗 hand-in-hand Hand-in-hand through 🧑‍⚖️ their ⭕ parklife Parklife (Parklife) Parklife (Parklife) It's got 👏 nothing 🚫 to do 👌 with Vorsprung durch Technik, you 👊 know? 💭👅💭 (Parklife) (Parklife) and it's not ✖️ about 💦 you 👈 joggers Who 💁 go ❤️ round ⭕ and round 🔁 and round 🔁 (Parklife) (Parklife)

I hate myself

(oh yeah, edit: I obviously did not write all this myself, a bot did it instead because I'm not very efficient)

[st6rly]

REASONS WHY YOU 🫵🫵 YES YOU 🫵🫵 SHOULD INTERACT WITH ME 😍😍

happy 230+ followers! to celebrate the revival of this blog, i am here to present a little post as to why you should totally come and interact with me; on or off anon!!

01.

i love love love getting the chance to ramble about stuff like throw out a topic and i will turn it into a multi ask discussion 🤲🤲 i am forgetful sometimes but i will return to the convo within that week. hopefully

02.

i stay up til like. 1:30am almost consistently everyday so people in different timezones still have the chance to hmu 🫦🫦 want to see unhinged thoughts?? then tune in at night to see me go a little off my rocker

03.

i’m so down to brainrot about characters you have no idea. i don’t do requests anymore but throw an idea into my inbox and i may just churn smth out if i’m not too sleepy

04.

XDINARY HERO FANS WYA 🗣️🗣️ love those funky men please talk to me about their music 🙏🙏 going crazy bc they have a comeback on october 11th NFBDBDJBDH i also follow a couple other groups! check my card for a shortened list :DD

05.

on the topic of that, i love. music. my spotify is linked so judge my taste in songs all you like 😁😁 specifically rock, both old and also some of the newer rock songs as well (but only a very limited few-) MITSKI AND CONAN GRAY FAN HERE top 0.5% of listeners for the both of them in separate years !!

06.

still aren’t sure of my credentials?? well last but not least, i like to think i’m funny enough to get people to crack a smile :DD thank you to tired and ying for providing me with these <33 the only thing toxic about me is the relationship i have with duolingo 😁😁 i’m just here to have fun LMAOO

some final fun facts about me to end things off:

i watched physical 100 for the plot 😁😁 iykyk

i am a gordon ramsay kinnie 🥰🥰 / j

i’ve eaten hand sanitizer before (do not recommend)

i spend way too much time reorganizing my spotify playlists and blog themes instead of doing hw

im a psychology student ‼️‼️

i love poetry and poetry writing and creative writing and analyzing creative writing and poetry and- (just not shakespeare)

i’m a fast reader and can a 500+ page book in a day 😼😼 took me 6 hours to finished 1 and 1/2 books on a plane once. combining both books, it was about 720 pages in total?? hehe

i’ve been playing genshin since xiao’s first banner. my first 5 star was qiqi off of venti’s windblume banner. i now refuse to pull for archons and my account is archon less

i hit ar 60 last year november 😓😓

spent 131 pulls for scara bc i lost the 50/50 at 85 pity to mona c2 then had to go to hard pity to get scara

erm i play hsr, prosekai, cookie run (sometimes), and ofc genshin !!

ok that’s all i have

thank you for sticking to the end! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I MIGHT NOT BE CONSIDERED COOL BUT I DONT SCRATCH 🙏🙏