#HIS FINE ASSS

[sugarcoatedstarkey]

Sir, you can hit me with his cane if you like. 🥵

[kitkatstu-dies]

that was the most fucked up chemistry exam possibly ever

[jaybirdzi]

2:49 am

warnings: none, fluff, cuddly jason after patrol :( i just wanna cuddle him despite how much i hate physical touch :(, smelly sweaty jason but in a cute way

jason was exhausted, he had started patrol earlier than usual, he got roughed up but beat the bastards in the end. he was caught off guard, and was already having a horrible day. he climbs through the window in a huff, despite having keys to the front door.

and there you were, laying there prettily, arm around a teddy bear he had won for you with tickets from the arcade on your 4th date.

he takes off his mask, shrugging his jacket off and his gear, stepping out of his heavy boots. he moved the teddy bear from your arms, replacing the stuffed toy as you stir awake. "j-jay..." you grumbled sleepily.

"shhh babe.... just sleep" he brings you closer (if possible) and kisses your forehead, smelling a hint of your shampoo.

"mnnmm... you stink" you comment, your face twisting slightly.

"i know... bad day, just let me sleep... 'll take a shower with you in the mornin'." he sighs, relaxing against you. you sympathize with him, just accepting your sleepy, sweaty boyfriend.

"fine..." you mumble and relax against him. "we shower together"

"of course."

short ikk but im tired :( work is after my asss

[deuxcherise]

The Hare and the Fox: Happy Eggs

C/w: Unhealthy behavior, yandere male, male!rabbit oc, female!fox reader, tsuntsun!reader (just arrogance, honestly speaking), interspecies relations, dumbification (?), some horror element, suggestive (leaning towards explicit though), implied non-con, implied forced pregnancy, unnatural culmination between species, mental break A/n: So… Honestly, I have no idea what happened. I just wrote and this is what came out. Mindlessly. Some Arley lore, though (it makes more sense if you read the prequel)! But I might write a different version at some point, since cute, whiny Arley kind of takes a extremely sharp turn and a deep dive (might I say, kind of a character assassination?) into his yandere side near the end.  This one’s kind of dark. Please read the content warnings above — At the same time though, if this is a turn of events some of you like, do comment and let me know. Again, I might just branch them out instead. Maybe a lighter version in the future. Masterlist | Part I, Part II (you’re here!)

Once upon a time, deep in the great forest, there laid an egg-shaped child as red as blood and as shiny as a jewel. Still as a log, quiet as the dead.

“Poor little egg, lossst in the green~” murmured a slithering stranger. “Eye-catching asss you are, to leave you alone would be obssscene, hm?”

Seldom do creatures in this forest come across food quite as easily, and so the stranger picked up the egg-shaped being with its wide maw and gulped it down in one go. However, what the stranger didn’t know was that the child was quite alive.

“GUH!”

Torn right through the walls, the child emerged from the stranger’s corpse with eyes glowing ominously gold. In its own mouth laid the flesh of the stranger, being grounded between teeth and cheeks.

This is how they are typically born, these “sacred creatures” of the forest.

…..

…..

…..

“You can’t leave me here! You can’t leave me here!” Arley cries,  arms wrapped around your body with a grip unbecoming of a prey to a predator. His golden eyes are big and wide, watery with tears threatening to overflow, and his bunny ears are folded backwards. “Darliiing! You can’t.”

You took a deep breath and sigh heavily. “Arley, for the last time, I need to tend the barley. The sun is up already. Why do you keep doing this every morning?”

He shook his head, wrapping his arms around your waist even tighter. He even swings his legs to curl around your legs. Eyes still shut from slumber and with a pout, he whines, “Nooo…”

Ever since that day you decided to share a nest with the rabbit back at your family’s den,  once you both returned to your den, Arley has found himself unable to sleep in his own nest. At least, without you in it. Thus, from then on, whether it was in your nest or his nest, you had begrudgingly became bedmates. You’ve even started a barley field just to keep fattening him up, and yet he still remains as gangly as you had found him. Well, nearly. He’s become a little more healthy, but not to proper rabbit standards just yet.

It’s fine. It’s fine. To fatten up a rabbit properly for eating, they need proper sleep too. This is going to benefit me in the end… But damn it, why is he so clingy!?

You groan. “Well, I need to use the litter.”

“No, you don’t.”

Are you kidding me!?

“Yes, I do,” you insist.

“No,” he simply rejects.

You deeply inhale and exhale. “I will go in this nest and it will stink and I won’t be able to wash it out. Is that what you want? You want to lay in a puddle of my urine? Huh? Huh?” you threaten.

He shifts about, moving his nose towards your neck and nuzzling it. “Mm. It’ll smell more like you, so it’s okay…”

Your expression morphs into horror. What’s wrong with him!? Doesn’t he know foxes are the worst scenters!? He is a rabbit!?

You begin wiggling wildly, twisting your body around this and that way. Just as your limbs manage to grab onto the side of the nest, he grabs you by the shoulders and proceeds to lay on top of you and give you his best frown. “Stooop,” he whines with a pout, his eyes now open but still droopy. “Why do you want to leave me so badly?”

“... 

Having had enough of his morning shenanigans, you grab his shoulders and toss him to the other side of the nest, quickly scrambling onto the floor and running out to your garden.

“DARLING!!!”

Just as expected, he barrels right after you and practically tackles from behind, just as you come near the shed where your gardening tools are. The field of just barely sprouting barley can be seen if you just turn your head from where it laid on the ground now.

You sigh. “Arley. Get. Off.”

Despite being a head shorter than you, he continues to press down on your body with his own. You feel his head shift in a refusing manner against the back of your neck. “No.”

Yes. This happens every morning, ever since you returned home from your family’s den. And no. Unfortunately, you have no idea why he’s been doing this for a while now. He never used to do this before.

After about an hour of… cuddling, you suppose, he finally allows you to tend to the barley. While you tend to your field, he sits on a nearby log and watches you with the eyes of a hawk. Which, you have to admit, are adorable with his big doe eyes, but his often blank expression is always a little… unnerving, for the lack of a better word.

It sort of reminds you of that night when…

~~~

An ungodly roar booms behind you. Right as your hand grasps onto a door handle, a hand wraps around on your legs and hauls you backwards, forcing your chin to hit the ground. Before you can recover from the impact, you feel the air around your head turn warm and in the edges of your view are rows of sharp white teeth.

“A-”

~~~

A shiver racks through your body, which you quickly shake off with your head. You’ve already told yourself over and over again how it was just a nightmare, and yet…

“Darling?”

You jolt and turn around to find Arley right behind you. “Y- Yes, Arley?”

Nowadays, you often remind yourself that you’re a fox while he’s a rabbit. A fox shouldn’t be afraid of a mere rabbit. It would be against nature, wouldn’t it?

But then again, another fox would have eaten him by now. That is the natural interaction between a predator and prey. So why haven’t you?

Is it pity?

He tilts his head towards the ground and looks up with a pout. “Darling~? Are you afraid of me?”

Is it fear?

You awkwardly laugh. “No? Why do you ask?”

“If not, then…” He pokes his fingers together, chewing on his bottom lip as his foot gently pads at the ground thoughtfully. He looks away before looking back at you with determination in his eyes. “Why do you keep refusing to have my kits?” he bursts.

…..

Wow. That nightmare has really scrambled me up since then. I should go look for a therapist sometime soon. Do owls take on fox clients, or should I consult one of those tortoises instead?

You blink. “Huh? Sorry, could you repeat that?”

His face turns red as his floppy ears twitch. “I know we haven’t discussed it, b- b- but I think it’s about time we had kits now, shouldn’t we? We’ve already been living together for a year now a-and you’ve already introduced me to your parents… I- I’d have thought you’d eventually ask me b- b- but…”

You blink again, rubbing the fluff of your ears. You remember there was something in one of your books about how psychological trauma can often affect your physical senses.

Perhaps, I should consider getting therapy starting tomorrow. The sooner the better.

“... What?” you ask for clarification. “Sorry, my ears are- What are you saying, Arley?”

Frustrated at your lack of understanding, his face scrunches up and he stomps the ground with every word that tumbles out of his mouth. “Kits! Babies! I want babies! Now! Now!”

…..

A million thoughts run through your mind, ones especially regarding his strange behavior. After a moment, something finally clicks and you smile.

“Oh.”

-----🐰🦊-----

It has been months ever since he shared his greatest desire with you, but now is the time you are able to help him fulfill it.

“Oh my, oh my. I’ve always heard foxes are mean tricksters, but to think you’re such a kind soul to help out a fellow rabbit,” an older female rabbit comments. “Aren’t you the shining representative for your kind?”

You awkwardly chuckle. “Thank you kindly. I… um… couldn’t leave him out to die, you know? I mean- Oi, Arley, why don’t you greet them?”

“.....” His arms are crossed and his ears are flopped over his face.

“Oh, isn’t he a grumpy young man? Or is he just shy?” one of the other older female rabbits teases.

“He, um, isn’t usually like this?” you worriedly say, hoping his unfriendly demeanor doesn’t scare away the rabbits. When Arley’s eyes flashes towards you, you immediately look away.

The Spring Fest is one of the many special occasions for which all of the animals of the forest join to celebrate the forest and all that it brings. Different occasions meant different themes and specific rituals, but they all have one thing in common. And that is for animals to find their sacred mates.

“Well, maybe he’s not really talkative right now, because his chaperone is still here,” comments one of the younger rabbits, whose eyes are directed at her nails before they land on you. “I don’t mean to offend, but, uh, shouldn’t you be with your own kind right now?”

Her words are that of concern, but the look on her face is anything but welcoming. For a bystander looking in, you, being a fox, stick out like a tall, sore thumb amongst these shorter species. Even though Arley is surprisingly taller than all of them, with him being a fellow rabbit, he blends in quite well.

“No, she doesn’t,” Arley mutters.

You send a look towards Arley. You prefer that the rude rabbit had worded it better, but begrudgingly, she’s probably right. “Right… Sorry.“ You turn to exit the crowd. “Have fun, Arl- Arley!?”

With the most displeased expression on his face, he has his arms wrapped around your arm. As always, his grip is unexpectedly tough to get out of.

“Arley? Arley, get off!”

He shakes his head, much to your confusion.

One of the older rabbits tries to help by tenderly saying, “Arley? Dearest. You shouldn’t be holding onto her like that. She’ll bite you if you do.”

You feel irked at her words, but whatever it takes for Arley to snap out of whatever sort of tantrum he’s in. “That’s right, Arley. I’m going to bite-”

“Oh yeah? Then bite me already!” he hisses. “You already said you’d eat me, and yet-”

The rabbit crowd gasps in horror.

Embarrassed, you whisper harshly, “Arley! You can’t say that! You’re not supposed to-”

He glares up at you with tears in his eyes. “Darling? Darling, did I do something wrong? Please stop it. I’m sorry.”

“What?” You shake your head. “No? You haven’t done anything-”

“Then why are you doing this to me!?” he screams, uncaring of the crowd. Fat tears roll down his cheeks. “Why did you bring me here? To them? You want me to mate with some stupid doe? Why? How could you do this to me!? Don’t you care!?”

What in the big blue’s name is going on?

You are at a loss for words. “Didn’t you want to?”

His eyes go wide as his mouth drops. “Huh? When did I say that?”

“You said you wanted kits!”

“Wha- With you!” he clarifies. “I want kits. With you!”

~~~

His face turns red as his floppy ears twitch. “I know we haven’t discussed it, b- b- but I think it’s about time we had kits now, shouldn’t we? We’ve already been living together for a year now a-and you’ve already introduced me to your parents… I- I’d have thought you’d eventually ask me b- b- but…”

~~~

A memory of the conversation floats into your mind. However, somehow it still doesn’t compute as you stare at him. “...What?”

He finally lets go of your arm and grips his hair in frustration as he stomps on the ground. He shouts through gritted teeth. “What are you not getting, Darling!? I don’t want anyone except you?”

Perhaps it is at this point, you feel as if you have made a mistake. You have heard rabbits get easily attached, and it is quite evident from Arley’s typical behavior. However, you hadn’t expected it to extend to…

… Does he not know…? You suddenly figure out what the problem could be. … Oh of course, he doesn’t know.

You grab his arm and drag him off into a secluded part of the forest, out of the curious eyes of the other crowds of animals, in order to educate him. Arley is, expectedly, very happy to get away from the crowd.

Unexpectedly, the moment you let go of his arm and turn around to confront him about his strange behavior, he suddenly pounces on you.

“Oi, what are you-”

He grabs your wrists and holds them down by the sides of your head as he giggles uncontrollably. He sits on your hips, trapping you on the ground. “Oh, I’m so happy you finally understand~ Now we can finally-”

You grit your teeth and hiss. “Arley, get off me! Get off me right now!”

He leans down and nuzzles against your neck, a soothing action. “It’s okay. Shh. Shhhh. It’s me. Your Arley~ Calm down now~”

Your legs flail about to no avail. “Arley! Arley! Stop! You have to listen to me,” you struggle.

He keeps the pressure and nuzzles. “Mmm, no.”

You exasperatedly groan. Deciding not to wait any longer, you shout, “Rabbits can’t have kits with foxes!”

He stops and leans back. He stares down at you, like you’ve just spouted that the sky is falling.

“.....”

“.....”

The silence is unnerving. “Arley?”

“Darling,” he answers.

“Arley… Can you get off me?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Darling, please stop talking. I’m thinking.”

What kind of- What’s happening here?

You try to wiggle, but his weight is still pressed on you as he is deep in thought.

His thumbs rub your skin. “Darling, please stop moving.”

You give him an exasperated look. “Excuse me? Get off me!”

“Darling… Do you think I’m stupid?” he suddenly proposes.

You stop, confused. “No? Now get off-”

“Oh good. So you’re not against having kits with me because you think I’m stupid.”

What in- This damn rabbit!

“Didn’t I tell you already? Foxes can’t have kits with rabbits!”

“Yes, I’m aware,” he answers matter-of-factly.

…..

“Okay… so-”

“Hmm, now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever asked you about your mating season. When is that?”

“Why in the big blue’s name does that matter?” you ask, cheeks heating up.

He tilts his head side to side thoughtfully.  “It matters because I want my mate to be comfortable when we’re making kits? Mine was back in during Hallow’s Eve, but you seem quite scared that time, so I figured-”

Hallow’s Eve? That was…

That was during the time you were visiting your parents. But you apparently seemed scared of him? Since when? You’ve never been scared of him. How can a fox be scared of a rabbit? If you were scared of him, it was only when-

~~~

Arley- If it is Arley at all- tilts his head the other way stiltedly, his neck cracking with every angle. He towers over you with the height of a bear. The skin on his face looks stretched across his abnormally large skull, almost tearing at the seams of his mouth and eyes and nose. The ears on his head are stiffly standing above his head, shaped more triangularly than his typical round ones. Accompanying them are two massive antlers, ending in serrated stake-like ends. Where his eyes should have been are now dark black pools with little gold rings floating in them. The clothes on his body have shredded apart, revealing long skinless, muscleness limbs ending in similarly long claws sharper than the thorns of wild roses.

~~~

The feeling of something soft brushing across your neck brought you out of your memory.

“Arley, stop it right now!” you command.

From your view, all you can see is the top of his head and his floppy ears, which, looking closely, look more… angular than usual. With his refusal to cease his actions, you immediately bite onto one of his ears, making his flinch and back up, releasing your wrists to grab his injured ear. With your hands freed and him momentarily distracted, you throw your weight and flip him over so that you’re sitting on him and he’s laying on the ground.

“O- Oh?”

You breathe heavily, heart pumping as you pin his wrists on the ground and immobilize him. “Okay. Now you listen to me-”

You don’t realize your position until you feel something poking your bottom. His hips are raised as he gives you a sleazy smile. You scooch forward with your knees so you’re sitting on his abdomen instead. He pouts. You scowl at him.

“Darling!” he whines.

“No, you listen to me and you listen to me well. Foxes cannot have kits with rabbits! Which means I cannot have kits with you. Do you understand?”

He sighs, unable to break from your hold. He closes his eyes. “Darling, I know. Of course foxes can’t have kits with rabbits.”

You nod. “Good-”

“Because they don’t try hard enough,” he adds.

Are you kidding me!?

He sighs again. “But I don’t get how that applies to me?”

“I’m a fox. You’re a rabbit.”

“... Right.” Arley opens his eyes, his expression quite… serious. “But I’m not a normal rabbit, so you don’t have to worry about that, alright? Now, can we get to making kits now? Or do I need to court you like a fox,” he asks, licking his lips.

This damn rabbit, what the fu-

You take a deep breath.

“If you need a moment, I’m very patient-”

“I don’t… want kits.”

“... Oh, I’m sure you’ll change your mind-”

“With you,” you add, flinching at your words.

His mouth hangs open, and then it closes into a thin line. His eyes stare hard at you.

You stare back, feeling a sense of relief as you hope your words sink into him. It was not that you did or didn’t want kits with him. It’s just that he’s a rabbit and you’re a fox and it’s just that this whole ordeal is just strange. Why would a rabbit want to mate with a fox? Does that even make any sense? Though you suppose if he was fox, then perhaps-

“Darling, my wrists hurt,” he whimpers.

You release him immediately. “Oh, sorry-” He takes this chance to flip you over, only this time you’re laying on your front. “A- Arley!?”

Thump.

You have not yet turned your head when out of the corner of your eye, a skinless muscular hand larger than two heads ending with long sharp claws slams down on the ground beside you. Even in the shadows of the trees around you, a darker shadow overlays you. Something heavy breathes behind you. A familiar scent of blood begins to waft in the air.

“A- Arley…?”

You feel something nuzzle against the back of your head, stealing your voice. His chest rumbles with a sort of extremely deep purring sound.

And then you feel the back of your hips being brought upwards, only to rest against a larger set of hips.

.

The end.

.

Little rabbit, little rabbit, soft no more,

Forced its will through a crimson door.

The fox now bears what should not be—

Born of love madness, despite their mother’s plea.

.

.

.

.

.

Eggs naturally come in all kinds of colors, from brown to white to green, blue, pink, etc. They can be speckled or simply a solid color. They also are produced by many kinds of animals, particularly from the bird species, such as chickens, ducks, owls, turkeys, and so forth. The only known mammal to give birth to eggs would be the infamous platypus, which has the head of a duck anyway.

The eggs in your nest, however, are quite colorful with their strips of pink and blues, and dots of greens and yellows. They hardly resemble anything natural. Most importantly, they weren’t laid by any bird. 

No, they were laid by you. A fox. All three of them, each length and wide of your palm and fingers.

“Aren’t they wonderful?” Arley coos, tenderly poking each egg. “You did such an excellent job, Darling~”

Eggs. Laid by a fox. With a rabbit for a father.

He gives you multiple kisses on your head before nuzzling you. “Are you cold, Darling? Oh, I know, I know. I heard mothers become cold after giving birth. Here, let me warm you up.” He wraps his arms around you. 

You silently stare at the eggs. Then you look at Arley, who perks up.

“Hm?”

“I… am going to eat you,” you say, robotically.

He grins, golden eyes glittering against black scleras. “Is that so? I look forward to it~”

[southernbelllle]

@bumpkinbitch

The air in the abandoned church was cool with tension as the men argued.

“This why everyone hates yall bitches from the south. Y’all got no rhythm and you voted for Trump. Pick a fucken struggle bruh.” The once meek Wade argued to the blonde boy.

“Oh you wanna talk about struggle? What fuckn shoes ya mama got on under the dirt lil bitch imagine.” Jackson retorted.

“At least my mama chose to birth me and me only I seriously cannot IMAGINE being born into a fuckn litter bruh especially if I came out the albino runt ya fucken hick ass motherfuker.”

That aint what ya mama told me when I was plowin her shit from behind idiot. She was screamin all night bitch boy.” Jackson stepped closer nd waged his finger in Wade’s face like the secret gay guy in highschool musical.

“Youre such a fukn slow baby Jackson You don’t even know my mama last name.” Wade stepped closer as well.

“Yeah, she was literally screaming it the whole night. We were well acquainted. Like maggots on a ham sandwich on a hot trash can lid in May.” Jackson spat.

“Dumb ass fuckn bumpkin why the fuk would my mother be screaming her own last name you are literally the dumbest fukn person to ever be born on earth ever and your stupid ass country metaphors are so fuken stupid like who tf are you tryna be with your R Kelly ass rhymes.” Wade began to raise the tone of his voice.

“I had her screamin all sorts uh shit bruh she aint care because I was stimulating that clint sooooo good.” Jackson smiled a smug grin because he knew he ate that.

“You couldn’t find a woman’s clit if it grabbed a cast iron skillet and smacked you square in the fukn face dumbass lil chicken shit boy.” Wade flipped his hair and crossed his arms.

“Ladies ladies bruh yall gotta chill fr it’s way too late to be fighting like this.” Mellish pipped in.

“Mellish shut ya fckn hemmorhoid lips and stay out of it bruh go put on some fckn lipstick.” Jackson hollered.

Wade nodded in agreement.

Mellish’s face scrunched up.

Jackson pointed to the man’s facial expression. See this is literally what im talkin about bruh look at that dumb bitch face he makin.”

“Fine what fuck actually fuck yall yall can figure this shit out on your own.” Mellish left.

That left only Caparzo in the room and he had a literally genius idea.

“Ladies,” his voice boomed. “I have the perfect solution to this problem.”

Jackson and Wade both turned their attention to the hulking man.

“Yeah? What kind of amazing idea did the baldie cook up? You gonna make us shave our head ya fkn pedo lookin asss bitch? Wade crossed his arms.

“No,” Caparzo boomed. “It is actually boypussy Thursday, and no one has taken the time to acknowledge that this entire journey.” Both Jackson and Wade looked at each other somberly. They had not been keeping their promise they made to the military when they signed the to always participate in boypussy Thursday.

“I think it’s only right if you two men settle this in a good old fashioned twerk off. Caparzo said.

“Yeah, I think that’s a fukn fantastical idea, Obama.” Jackson agreed. Wade looked at him with disgust. “You fuckn racist hick bruh Caparzo aint even black.

“Oh yeah? Well what is he?” Jackson said.

Wade looked up and down at the buff man.

“Well, tbh idrk know either LOL like maybe Spanish or itallian?? Idk. Wade said.

“What I sayin like!!!” Jackson revealed.

“ANYWAY." Caparzo interrupted. “Go put on your best fit and come back here for the official twerk off.

When everyone had returned, both Jackson and Wade were dressed in their finest fashion nova Halloween costume.

Wade donned a skintight wonder woman bodysuit that made him look so breedble. HE had tucked his pp into his butthole in order to appear more feminnen and honesltyl he kinda popped iff!! His boobs where bigger.

Jackson also had a stellar costume. He was wearing the 2016 version Harley quinn suicide squad costume. His pale ass booty cheeks squezzed through the shorts like a can of busted biscuits. He filled the costume out very nicely. He even did his make up like margot Robbie and wore a blonde wig.

“Alright ladies!” Caparzo clpped his hands together. “It is now time to lipsync-“ he paused for a moment. “For,, your,, LIFE! Let the twerking competition begin.” Caparzo then walked over to his busted ass ipod mini and began to play starships by nicki minjaj.

As the music started to play, the boys began to oil themselves up with bottles upon bottles of baby oil like a lot of baby oil like a truckload full of baby oil.

Wade’s Caucasian skin twinkle and shined, and Jackson’s glowed in the dark like a little blue glow worm (because he was so pale.”

The two boys felt every beat of the song. Wade relying on the duck walk and jumping splits, Jackson hitting a twerk with a lil country boy flair. God forbid two white boys catch a vibe.

Just as the second chorus hit, Jackson ripped his wig off to reveal another, smaller blonde pussycat wig that was basically just his hair. He twerked his voluptuous buttcheecks like tomorrow was not promised. This only inspired wade to work harder. He kicked his red boots together and stood up in a handstand and began to walk twerk 360 style upside down. Caparzo didn’t know who was winning. It was truly neck and neck.

Right as the climax of the song hit, a new challenger had hit the stage, it was Miller in a Princess Jasmine fashion nova piece that was lowkey cultural appropriation, but he looked so good that no one said anything.

Miller strutted through the competition with ease, putting Jackson and Wade for runs of their money. It was clear Miller had experience in this field. His body moved so seductively that it was irrefutable that this was not his first time.

Eventually the song stopped, and all three contestants lined up in front of caparzo.

Caparzo spoke up, “Miller! Shante, you stay.” Miller was so happy to have won the twerk off that he went over to an empty chair and began to perform a lap dance.

“Your prize is that you get to list this seat on Facebook marketplace!” Miller wept tears of joy.

Wade , Jackson, you both are sexy and talented, but you have lost today. Shantay, away.

The two walked out of the church and kissed.

The end

[minty-drop]

Pitaya dragon cookie x reader

Tw: none

Type: platonic interaction, non canon (obviously)

Description: pitaya had gotten gifted a taste of dragon city’s finest goods from the baker themselves.

Ah, dragon city, home to some of the finest dragon hunters, and some of the best bakers on earthbread. You were one of them, a popular baker to the city and it’s locals. Baking goods each day to satisfy the customers that trampled in the establishment get a taste. Even though the bakery itself was in shambles, the food was to good to pass by without buying a treat or two. All the money you had was put into fresh ingredients and new recipes, a constant thrill in testing new products and techniques.

Though this day was a-bit different for you. Instead of staying cooped up in the bakery, you were going to try and vender a-few new samples and products you had come to love to show the customer. The stand set nicely on the side of the pathway, out of the way of passing by cookie but not to far away to be out of sight. It only took a-few minutes before you had a-few customers raising money high in the air to get the freshest of the fresh.

It had calmed down after awhile, only the crisp breeze and the odd customer accompanied you. Until a what looked to be a fruit themed cookie came bolting out a near by group and towards the stand you were placed at. You didn’t have time to quite place what flavours this cookie might be before there hand had slammed onto the front of the wood, startling you out of thought.

“I require the freshessss good you have”

The cookie spat out, leaning over the top of the table as they eyed the variety of baked treats in there packaging. Ignoring the odd snake like s accent, you begin to look through the goods that lay a-crossed the dark cherry wood table. Eyes scanned each packaging carefully, trying to figure out which would be the freshest at this time. You could hear the cookie shuffle in front of you impatiently, taping there oddly sharp fingers on the edge in front of you.

In a quick motion, you grabbed a slice of cherry brown maple butter pie, placing it carefully in front of the now delighed cookie. He examined it, which brang your nerves to a flare. Was this not the one freshest? Maybe it wasn’t the right flavour? Did I package it right? With a swift and agile approach, grabbed it and stuffed it into his cloak.

“Thisss will do cookie….thanksss”

You sighed in relief. At least you don’t have a raging cookie on your hands like last time.

“That will be 6-“

Frozen, is what you can describe his expression. You waited patiently for the coins to come dropping on the table, but instead, a large lump of metallic gold was left in front of you. You stared in awe, how did they have this? Why did they have this? Why were they giving you GOLD?

“Keep the change”

“Wait!”

The cookie stoped in his tracks, there white frosting hair slightly bouncing to a halt at the sudden loss of movement in the cookies form, they turned there body back to you, glaring lightly. You gulped down the fear that had built up in your chest, uttering out a simple apology.

“Sorry, that was quite rude of me wasn’t it. I just..please..take another things if you want, it’s the least I can do since you have graced me with a valuable piece of material”

…

“Fine cookie…I ssshall accept your offer asss a..gift”

They snatched up another piece of the pie, shoving this piece as-well in there cloak. And with that, the strange cookie had left as quick as he came. You watched as they walked away, looking around hastily before stuffing both pieces in there mouth in one single bite. There eyes widened, chewing faster now and sprinting over to two other cookies.

“COOKIESSS…you have..to try these there so..delicious..ack!-“ they began to choke on the amount, now begging for berry juice. It was quite the scene that’s for sure. You had a feeling this won’t be the last you see this oddly entertaining cookie

[fang-kwon-do-master]

...you're plan was to kidnap a child?

Oh don't frame it like that! It'sss not like I was planning to hurt him. Asss long as he behaved, he would've been fine!

Lloyd ssseems to be the only thing Garmadon caresss about more than world domination. I wasss going to use his to negotiate

[paracosmic-sims]

Elio Alvoretter for @jonquilyst's Total Drama, Season 3!

Elio [they/he, in that order of preference] (Idiot forgot to introduce their own pronouns in the recording) is a very laid-back teenager that somehow is at the epicenter of a very chaotic friend group, and thus, is usually the voice of reason.

Think this, but with at least double the leashes:

Yeah he is tired, but he does love their friends and partners a lot. [And I, as their creator, know TD3 won't be a break in the slightest hehehe]

Self-Assured and Generous traits. They are very benevolent at nature, but have to make themselves heard a lot of the time.

They are a pacifist, but not harmless. They don't think violence is the answer, but if someone starts shit, they take ending it as a much justified excuse. Doesn't throw the first punch, but can, and will throw the last.

He is very interested in environmentalism, and is very adept of solarpunk ideals.

By the way, almost every one of their friends is some combination of goth/grunge/punk. Do not be deceived by his "good boy" appearance. They consistently drawn to the "troubled kids" (which, most of the time, are actually very much fine and correct, despite their reputation)

They have a rather strong moral compass, but an even stronger belief that for every problem there are three sides: the two conflicting ones and the unbiased facts; playing mediator is almost second-nature at this point, and they prefer to take in all information he can before setting down on a firmer stance.

That being said, they have no tolerance for discrimination. In those cases, there really is only one side to the story. The wrong one.

They can't act streamlined for shit. Their focus will meander more than a river. Shit gets done, yes, but on its own time. They don't rush it. For them, the path/process is way more satisfying than the end goal.

Speaking of not rushing stuff, they identify as: genderqueer but definitely half-asssing it. In fact, they are only going by they/them as a primary set of pronouns because they can't be bothered to enforce anything other than back in his circles (their friends do try, but he is so very chill with the accidental defaulting to he/him that it takes rather long for everyone to realize it happens) (Like... champ, be a little more firm about it, will you? Just for once. I promise it's okay)

Although they are more on it for their girlfriend rather than themselves, they genuinely want to go through the experience. Again, they enjoy the journey and the excitement of trying out something new way more than they are there for the win.

Besides, it's a chance to meet some new people! (And maybe help consolidate the nagging feeling that he'd be great as a future psychologist? He isn't sure yet, but applying to college is right down the corner, so...)

And while they very faithful for both of their partners, the three of them have had a long discussion and decided that, whatever happens, happens. If feelings bloom during the season, nobody would be against it (though I think that Elio would be very upfront about the fact that they are in a relationship, and would probably try to keep a possible romance very restrained to TD3. But if feelings really take root, I dont think it'd be too much of an issue to try them out of that setting as well.

Some random character sheets, because I don't think there's a better way to summarize their kind of role in their chaotic murdersquad friend group unless I make a three-page-essay.

I wish I could remember the skills I gave them, but unfortunately S4TI doesn't allow me to check :( I'm pretty sure herbalism is there, along with some cooking (he helps his mama) and some charisma (one of their only real strenghts for TD3). So yeah, I think that's the basic so nobody will instantly die?

If there's anything unclear about them, or any additional information you want to know, please DM me!!! I'd love to ramble some more about this precious little bean now that he has an opportunity to shine <3 (I love them, but let's be honest, Arielly being always my Main Character does reduce him a little)

[Private Download] [As soon as I can figure out what is happening to my SFS]

[ama-jewel]

@libras-interactives So here are their names and some info about them

This is Alice Shire, she's the musician.

She's from England(she's Irish in the fic cause that's whats closest to the UK). She's definitely the smartest among my OC's second to Aminul.Also she's partially deaf

This is Ava Simons, She's the gunman. Her son's name is Carl

She's French (Italian in the fic cause thats the closest to France) I just imagine Marius, Evelyn and Ava talking in French and Jack: "...." I imagine them (or atleast her)trying to teach him if he wanted to learn.

She adopted her son cause yk the eyes, she was ill-treated as a kid for her eyes and dosen't want him to go through the same.

RIP my black marker

This is Αμάρα κόσμημα (pronounced Amara Kosmima, kosmima means jewel in greek) She's the callgirl

She's from Greece. She's the youngest out of all of them. She makes it a point to befriend all members of the Duchess (or atleast be on friendly terms with them) She's friends with my other OCs and gets along with everyone else just fine. She sees Aminul as an older brother,she tries to stay around him whenever she's not working and hes not at Mr.Flynn's law firm.she's wearing his jacket.

If you had all 4 of them compete in a driving race she would win

also her outfit is inspired by(itslitrallythesamejustadifferentcolour) Schneider from Reverse 1999

This is Aminul Shilva, he eats books...get it...cause he cooks books....it was funny in my head.

He's Filipino. There's no relation between him and Ava's son(they look alike)His and Amara's dynamic is literally Sunshine and Sunshine protector, no small crushes or anything just sibling energy to the max. He doesn't come to the duchess often so he only knows Marius, Jack, Alice and Amara.I actually think him and Mordecai would get along pretty well, same personality just less...intense yk,isnt asss serious as Mordecai.

i realised after all of this that i didnt outline some parts of him

[s0ckh3adstudios]

Curious, What’s ur beef with Miguel

you asked for it. slightly long post ahead i'm so sorry

WARNING: ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

i have spent the last several days ranting and raving about about Spiderverse related things and like. I have such a complicated relationship with this movie, but THAT'S FOR ANOTHER POST IF SOMEONE ASKS LMAO but Miguel. Miguel O'Hara. Miguel.

I HATE HIS HOLOGRAM SUIT WITH NOTHING UNDERNEATH ASSS HE'S SO. WAGHGGHGAGK Like I know a lot of people do like him and there's stuff to like but I just don't see the appeal, and I'm also slightly biased because I can't enter the Spiderverse tag without seeing unfiltered Miguel NSFW LMAO

The first thing I thought after watching the movie was that it felt like he wasn't like... built up to enough? Like, my writer brain never turns off, and from a writing perspective it felt kinda weird. A lot of things in the movie did, but to me it just felt like there wasn't enough intro to him. Like he's supposed to be important but we don't like. i dunno HEJGKHKFL it sort of felt like we were already supposed to know a lot about him. WHICH I GUESS IS FAIR MAYBE THEY EXPECT ACTUAL SPIDER FANS TO COME IN AND KNOW WHO HE IS and I'm only a Spiderverse fan.

Miguel does have really charming and funny moments! Like, in the beginning Gwen section of the movie, he's got pretty funny dialogue while still remaining stern. He's got kind of a flat charm to him. But for me he just. loses it. after that part of the movie. He's a lot more of an asshole, which yes he's supposed to be. But for me there's just not that much to like. and just. and. and

Okay, kiddies, get out of the pool, that was the formal discussion. Now I'm just gonna LOUD

THIS GUYYYYY. IS SUCH A DUMBASS!!!!! He is so obviously wrong about the entire canon event theory. At least he is mostly. THERE IS SO MUCH EVIDENCE POINTING TO HIM BEING WRONG. AND WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO BACK IT UP??? ONLY ONE PIECE OF EVIDENCE THAT HE EVER BRINGS UP IN THE MOVIE!! And that's when he was Stupid and took the place of himself in a universe where he died so he could be with his daughter! And when you think about it, he didn't necessarily break the canon event rule- That canon event already HAPPENED. He DIED. But I guess you could suggest that him coming back ruined it. But that's the problem; these multiverse rules and regulations and details are just so confusing. And they're supposed to be.

Miguel doesn't necessarily have the right to put himself in charge of protecting this and claiming these things to be true when he absolutely does not know the full scale of the multiverse- Nobody knows exactly how all this works!! And we have seen so many things to contradict him!! If what he says is true, the events of Into The Spiderverse would have absolutely shaken things up. But the everything's fine for the most part, isn't it? The events of that movie changed all the characters in different ways (except for Ham. Ham's ok. Ham didn't change LMAO). Peni's SP//DER bot was destroyed, Noir brought color to his universe in the shape of a rubiks cube, Gwen made a new friend. Peter B was inspired and fixed things with MJ and went onto have a daughter, a DAUGHTER WHO'S VERY EXISTENCE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! AND THAT'S BECAUSE OF MILES! And if what Miguel is saying is true, why is the fact that Miles is Spiderman now and everything he's done not severely messing things up? The 42 spider's corpse is still chilling in his universe, too.

I've seen people compare the Spider Society to like. a cult? And honestly I can see that- Unintentional by Miguel, I'm sure, but it does seem similar. He's gotten everyone to believe in his theory and have them acting upon it, even Gwen, Peter B, and Peni. (Noir and Ham we never saw in the Spider Society, likely because their VA's weren't available. But I also like to take this as like. These two would not join the Spider Society, no way in hell they would. The society is against a lot of what Noir fights for and Ham would see this as a joke LMAO) NOT TO MENTION THAT OH MY GODDD LIKE GWEN KNOWS NOW THAT IF SHE GOES BACK TO HER UNIVERSE, SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE CANON EVENT OF HER DAD DYING. AND MIGUEL AND THE OTHERS KNOW THAT TOO. AND THEY THREATEN HER WITH THE IDEA OF GOING HOME. THEY KNOW THAT. LIKE WTF?????

A detail I'm also obsessed with is that in Pavitr's universe, you see the damage and glitching before the Spider Society shows up. They call it a "quantum hole" or something, because that's what they believe it is. That's what it HAS to be, right? It can't be anything else. It has to be damage from the disruption of a canon event. But that is NOT what that is. That deep blackness- That's damage from The Spot. You can even hear it in the music, you can hear Spot's motif. It's probably also glitching because Spot is literally becoming some multidimensional being.

BUT MIGUEL IS SO DUMB AND SO UNLIKEABLE TO ME LIKE HE COULD HAVE AVOIDED THE WHOLE CONFLICT WITH MILES IN THE FIRST PLACE IF HE DIDN'T TELL HIM HIS DAD IS GOING TO DIE!! LIKE HE SCREWED HIMSELF OVER!! Sure, maybe he figured he should know what's going to happen, just accept it and join the club, but like. MAN.

BUT WHAT GETS ME. WHAT GETS ME THE MOST. WHICH MAKES ME ROLL MY EYES HARDER THAN ANYTHING.

"I'm this dimension's one and only Spiderman. Or, at least I was. But I'm not like the others. I don't always like what I have to do. But I know I have to be the one to do it. I've given up too much to stop now."

OH BOOOHOOOOOOOOO, CRY ME A RIVER. LIKE OH MY GODD. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL THE MOST CLICHE AND GENERIC QUOTES FOR A CHARACTER OF HIS TYPE. LIKE HOW DO YOU TAKE THAT SERIOUSLYYY I'VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE. OKAY DRAMATIC EDGY MCEDGE I GET IT. I DON'T FEEL BAD FOR YOU!! I HAVE NO REASON TO!!!

I can not WAIT for Beyond The Spiderverse to have Miguel be faced with the fact he's wrong. But he can't face that. Because if he knows he's wrong, he has to face the fact that he's done all of this for nothing. And when people learn the truth, they're likely going to be a bit pissed!!

This came out a little more disorganized and incomprehensible than I wanted, but I think I expelled all my energy yelling about him and stuff in DM's on Discord, so I'm just piecing together all the pieces I left scattered LMAO

Sorry Miguel fans,,,,, you may think he's hot but I do not. This is all just my opinions and thoughts, keep that in mind!!! No hate to anyone who likes him, I know a lot of people do!! I'm just not that big a fan

anyway if anyone wants to hear more of my thoughts on Spiderverse ermmm shoot me more asks :] I enjoy talking

[sonofmarzzzz]

Hi Caesar, even BIGGER fan here! I was just wondering how is the Legion going to be reshaped after the battle is won? You've mentioned how the Legion is going to evolve into a genuine empire, and I just wanted to know what that implies? And are women going to have more rights and freedoms as citizens?

(Sorry if this isn't worded quite the same. I'm also just assuming you meant my question since u never responded 😔)

" "My legion, after finally winning its glorious victory at the Dam, we will march into New Vegas and claim it... I will finally have my full influence over the whole Mojave and will bring order."

" We will remain as brutal and disciplined, maintaining our role as warriors.. "

" The female population will remain the same: the childbearers and home caretakers. They will remain at home, where they will make food and take care of the future warriors that will fight for our legion. "

" we will have full control, more power, more influence "

(HIII, so sorry it took me so long to get to your question! I remember being in the middle of writeing my answer and my clumsy ass ACCIDENTLY DELETED IT!! Got so mad, since i already wrote a lonnnnggg asss answerrr. But thats fine, since I, the mighty Caesar impostor, got to your question 😎)

[inkadink17]

Natsukashii {懐かしい}:

Chapter 3:

“Snake?? Snake???? SNAKE!”

“Huh?!” Snake snaps out of his little paranoia trance.

“D-..we’re you…ssssaying ssssomething..?” Snake looked at Liam with confusion.

Liam was worried for him, “Well.. yeah. You looked a little ‘out of it’ is everything alright? You ok?” Snake reassured him, “no no, it’sss fine…I just got a little…distracted.”

Liam took one bite from his curry and looks back at Kotaro’s Mugshot on tv, he seemed to notice that this news report didn’t catch Snake’s full attention until after they said his name.

“Hey, Snake.. uh.. look, I’m not trying to assume anything but..does it have anything to do with that Kotaro kid-“

“Look. Don’t mention him, don’t….

Don’t mention Kotaro. Ok?” Snake shivers, trying not to lash out on him like he did with Ace.

Now a very confused Liam wants to find out why he wouldn’t want it mention the kid, but still respects his boundaries and keeps his mouth shut as he continued eating his curry.

“Mm!” Liam hums, satisfied. “You really know how to make curry, huh?”

“Heh, thanks..” Snake smiles.

“Uh, excuse me…”

A few more customers came and went and stayed for a little while for a quick lunch. It was surprising that Snake could run a grocery store and cook in a restaurant at the same time.

May around 7:36 Snake closed the shop and it was time to go back home, he unlocked his bike and rode it back home. As he rode back home he couldn’t get Kotaro’s mugshot out of his mind.

He arrived at his house a few minutes later and put his bike in the garage, he then walks out of the garage and into the hallway and met with Claire and his siblings, Claire was playing dolls with Grace and Kenji was drawing on the couch while watching (or listing to) tv.

“Hey guysss!” Snake waved.

“Hey.” Claire smiled.

“Huh? Oh, hey.” Kenji said.

Claire stood up, “How’s the shop been?” She asks.

“Great, sssame asss alwaysss” he replied.

He pulled 10$ out from his pocket and handed it to Claire. “Thanksss for taking time out of your day to watch them.” Claire took the money and said, “oh, it’s no problem! I love them, their like my little siblings, I’m an only child.. so they’re pretty much the closest thing I have.” Claire said, heading for the door, “I’ll probably see them tomorrow?” “Sssure! They’ll be excited.” Snake said.

“Bye, everyone!” Clair said.

“Bye Claire!” The kids said.

As the door shuts, Snake looks back at his siblings.

“Alright, time for a bath.”

Blair starts running around, reluctant to take a bath. “No!”

Kenji laughs as Snake chases after her, “Blair!!” He said.

Claire walks along the sidewalk, the moon shining, the sky, grey, the stars ou-

“いずみ？いずみちゃん、いる？それだけです”

She picked up a walkie talkie from her pocket, she talks into it.

.. 光太郎…

ハジメを見つけた…

[zumpietoo]

Back to Nose....

Umm....so Cabana Boi's two "vulgar girl" friends said nice things about him cuz he did their stupid whatever the fuck it was?

Nose, your bar does keep getting lower and lower....

Umm.....we ALL saw the videos they chose to post and share---I doubt those girls even knew their own names, given how fucking blotto they were. And "up the next morning", my asss!!! I do love how everybody feels the need to repeatedly tell us he wasn't drunk. Even tho, clearly, he'd done a shit ton of blow.....and was otherwise wasted, himself....

That said, if he WAS sober? Then he has absolutely abysmal judgment...he seriously was fine with potentially blinding himself/unquestionably feeling some intense agony, while, supposedly, in full control of his faculties? Jesus fucking christ. And chose to stay up/nearly missed his flight?

Again, NOT the flex they think it is!!!

Umm.....no....he came across like a snide, entitled jackass (ha) talking to two other snide, entitled, jackasses.....and, again, displayed some verrryyyyy shitty decision making abilities/choices when he tried to "help" his wasted friend....

Umm....

"Mean" = "too smart/witty" and not sure when Cole has EVERRRRR "played the clown".....buuuuuttt......yes, cuz what is sweeter/moar entertaining than treating service workers like crap, being overtly racist and/or, you know, jokes about fucking genocide?

And "healthier"? Cole spent 4 years off and on wiping PP's pathetic ass for her....at least she now probably pays CB for it....and I think "lighter" is their other word for "dumb and shallow".

Umm....there's somebody who's "messy and sweaty".....and it isn't Cole, Nose...plus we've only seen Cole drunk, once..and THAT was like 2017....and with PP, probably to get thru the evening with the dude she was cheating on him then, Hart...

Cole isn't KP's keeper, but he got into with dudes who not only started it, but were sexually harassing her and her GF.....so Cole was being gallant and THAT'S bad?

Umm....prove to me that it IS right/even everrrr happened, dude?

Meanwhile....CB is a gross, disgusting pig. And it's quite apparent he might not drink, but he's fully wasted on everything else in sight. Oh and.....shouldn't you be worrying about how much we see of wasted PP, then? Or is it a different set of rules for her?

[troll-medicull-advice]

howw doo youu attachh roboticc prostheticss too nervee endingss correctlyy? myy kismesiss (teall) recentlyy lostt hiss armm inn aa duell againstt mee. ii amm superr bummedd aboutt itt becausee noww itt iss goingg too feell likee cheatingg whenn ii beatt himm inn thee futuree, andd hee willl tryy too usee itt ass ann excusee. ii alreadyy amm sickk off himm whiningg aboutt itt. soo i engagedd myy friendd whoo dabbless inn roboticss too makee anotherr armm forr himm. ii havee receivedd thee armm andd amm preparedd too breakk intoo myy kismesis'ss hivee, removee thee armm stumpp, andd replacee itt withh thee prostheticc. ii supposee bloodd losss iss alsoo aa concernn onn topp off thee nervee endingss butt ii amm nott tooo worriedd aboutt thatt ass ii thinkk hee willl bee finee, ii justt needd too ensuree hee regainss fulll controll off hiss fingerss soo ii cann fairlyy kickk hiss asss againn. thankss

... you're a blueblood you can definitely afford to have your local mediculler do it with you.🫤

they can help you make sure you do it right. it's extremely complicated and impossible to explain here. 😬

you'd need extensive training to do it properly and not damage his entire nervous system. 🧠

I'm not saying this to be mean. 😖

it's just genuinely very very difficult. 😬

sorry about that! i mean. if you're close by the northeast cavern entrance, I'd be happy to help you! 😉

[trippygalaxy]

🐉))

After SR link stop reader bleeding and bandage their arm up, he's glad they pass out by the pain and he put his bag under their head so they can be somewhat comfortable as he managed to stop crying but unfortunately for him, his necklace or spirits heros come out at a worse time and seen that the hero is in a dungeon but the look of things but seeing his friend unconscious, arm is half gone and bandage up but SR link knows he's in for a lecture and he is right.

The lecture was a two hours long and some the heros who have some healing magic help heal reader arm a bit but they can't stay for long since they can't risk been seen or something and they each have a talk with SR link on some advices and be supportive and helpful as they can but SR link keep looking to the unconscious reader with worry as he get flick on his forehead by time before they all return to the necklace as reader slowly wake up as SR link return to their side.

Reader: link?-

SR link: reader I'm sorry..your arm...I'm sorry.

Reader: link, you know well that I wasn't going to let you get your head biten off.

SR link: but!-

Reader: link, if you say sorry one more time than I'll make sure you handle the cuccos.

Reader watch him freeze up and reader sign and carefully sit up with SR link arms out around them in case they fainted but lower his arms when he see that their fine.

Reader: they yell at you?

SR link: who?-

Reader point to link necklace and link look to the side to not look like he's been yell at for two whole hours by time and bit of twilight.

Reader: I take it that it's a yes.

SR link: time mainly lecture yell at me for two whole hours...

Reader hear him say in a low voice like a child that been yell at by their parents and they sign.

Reader: i see, he must be a bit mad at us for getting hurt. are you okay link?

SR link: yeah I'm fine and he say he can't lose a bet he made on you with sky?

Reader: why is it the spirits make bets on us all the time?

Link shrug but he knows time may have reader as his favorite cause of reader skills,bravery and the fact he secretly wants to spare with reader. But he'll start slient on that. SR link see reader get up and knows that it's time to leave this cursed dungeon and grab his bag and help reader on leaving this place since he wants to look for a town so reader arm can be 100% check on.

DHAJKFHJKAHDJKF I WILL FIGHT TIME IN THAT SPARE FULL ON!!! IDC IF IVE LOST AN ARM, ILL STILL KICK HIS GHOSTY ASSS!!!!

Love Link so much dude <3 hes such a blorbo

[ghettofabu05]

WIT HIS FINE ASSS

LIPS + TONGUE.