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atangledfate · 1 hour ago

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Her eyes looked so distant and lost and almost vulnerable for a second. She had all this power but under all the quips and those wicked teeth she was really just as lost as Kit was. Her worry for the little guy was really weighing on her something fierce. Despite what she might say or the face she put on Surge was in territory she knew nothing about. How could she? she wasn't made for kindness or caring --- She was a War Machine, and in that she was excelled beyond what anyone could imagine! but right here? right now? in this situation? she had no tools for this battle...

The nudge seemed to make her stiffen up as if she might throw him off the balcony for daring to touch her! but that was just the program in her head seeing everything as a threat. It wasn't easy just letting him and charmette went against all the shit in her head, but maybe that's why she did let them in. Because she was through listening to his voice screaming at her all the time.

" Eh, well ... He's changed since he met her... for the better. I mean you know before Charmette came along... he was pretty obsessed with making me happy beyond everything else... now? He's grown alot. Thinks about stuff differently... i know he's worried about it... but i think its good... but he won't listen to me--- chaos knows i've tried "

She sighed and relaxed her grip from the steel rail leaving it bent and deformed from when she tensed up. A reminded that she might look dainty but under that fur was a killer.

" Yea... and we nearly got her killed...got to cocky for 1 tick and shit hit the fan... she'd be better off anywhere else. I dunno why she wants to be around us... well no i know why--- She has a crush on Kit... its obvious, but i dun think he understands that... i feel like she's just gonna get hurt before its over..."

================================================

Feeling her touch was such a calming sensation despite how lost and scared he was feeling. A sensation he rarely knew a least not in such an overpowering way. It was hard for him to calm down, to stop shaking yet feeling her so close, the way they touched it seemed to sap away that feeling only to replace it by something else. A Warm and calming feeling that made him feel safe and almost content. He didn't like it and yet he wanted to feel more of it all at once.

when He felt his senses return and his world calm once more. The rain in the room ebbing away to a stop. He finally pulled himself back and rubbed his cheek as if to hide the flush that had filled them. He still did not understand his emotions and that struggle to comprehend them was a battle he didn't think he could win.

Her words made his ears twitch slightly as he tried to process what she was saying. A feeling, an override that couldn't be removed. An emotion that built over time and grew stronger through that connection. Her hand touching his and the feeling of her heart thumping in time with his own. It was a strange feeling that made his cheeks burn a little brighter.

" Love? "

He spoke the word yet it held almost no meaning to him, but giving a name to these emotions. It almost felt as if it helped bring his world back into focus. She was however implying that they had grown fond of one another beyond simple friendship or, alliances. Love was something he didn't really have any data on, nor did he believe he was designed to handle such a powerful emotion.

" Medications? I didn't realize... if i'm honest, Starline use to give me a cocktail of drugs to help control my emotions and keep me stable. I always though it was meant to suppress my potential... but i'm starting to think it was to keep my mind from lashing out with irrational thoughts... to stablize the chaos in my head--- But with his death i have no idea what he gave me and ... over time i've started to become more erratic and less rational... i fear these outbursts may get worse..."

He fidgeted as he admitted that his own mental instability might well be related to not knowing what Starline was drugging him with.

" I do not know if simply being there for one another will be enough to fight off the hormones developing in our bodies. Or the emotions swirling in our heads... but i suppose denying these feelings wouldn't help either... i just wish the out of control thoughts would stop... i wish the voices in my head would stop... sometimes they are so loud i can't think..."

He whispered as he held the side of his head as if his head hurt him, as if the mental trauma he suffered was a real physical thing he endured. Starline's program still raged inside of him and he might never be free of it...

But at least now maybe... he had someone besides surge to confide in...

A Monster? Did he even know what a real monster was like? How awful they could be? She was made to be what she was and always saw herself as just that. A Monster, a Beast, A living weapon made to crush the heroes and replace then. She wanted so much to be more then what she was yet the idea of being a monster? It just didn't appeal to her... she loathed that idea.

" I mean... What are gods but petty bitches, willing to hurt mortals... Gods are just as much monsters as the monsters themselves. Ain't much difference... i bet them gods in legend were really awful people deep down... "

she only knew what she saw in video games and not much else.

" Eh dun matter, i'm me... an i dun wanna be no one else--- i guess i'm good with that "

Her eyes glanced back at the door as they made there way outside. There was no point hanging around, those two had to work this out on there own. Kit was obviously in love, an emotion he didn't understand and he was really struggling with it. They didn't have any context for those kinds of feelings. They were built for war, and love had no place there. She was lucky that Starline left her with her emotions so she had a better handle on them. But Kit was like a newborn struggling to walk for the first time. Being overwhelmed with all these emotions and she didn't know how to help him.

" Obvious to you maybe... But he and I... we lost all our memories... everything we know is only what Starline gave us. Lots of stuff makes sense to others and makes none to us... dunno if i'd be able to grasp love either... i just dunno what to do for him... i know he's teeterin' on the edge right now... Shit i ain't equipped to deal with it neither... "

She admitted as she pushed the door closed behind them and leaned on the railing that looked out over the town below.

" Nobody will ever know what Kit an i went through... dun think anyone should ever find out neither. You know Starline created dozens of us... whole labs filled with pods... but Kit an i were the only ones to survive... well was someone else but i think Starline put her down cause she just disappeared one day..."

She was obviously very worried for Kit, so much so that she was willing to admit alot to someone she barely knew. her fingers gripped that railing and it bent under her frustration at it all. Maybe it was just good to talk to someone who wasn't in her database and she didn't wanna strangle just looking at them.

" I know he's hurtin' an i just wish i knew what to do fer him..."

==============================================

He was so very close to a full on panic attack, as his mind was running at high speed. His breathing coming so fast that it was hard to actually catch his breath. He felt like he might pass out right there! Like the world was spinning around him! for a moment he was sure he'd pass out! but then he felt her weight against him and his body went tense at the initial contact. He wasn't use to being touched and his program shouted danger into his mind! yet he knew that wasn't true... she'd never hurt him.

As odd as it was her touch seemed to calm him as he felt his body shaking from his own panic. He slid down with her to his knees, as his shaking hands slid around her. He leaned his head against hers and closed his eyes as he just let himself breath. The rain slowed to a stop, and for a moment there was this calm stillness in the room. His mind still tumbling and yet slowly he caught himself and just wanted her to hold him. Why was that? He shouldn't want this and yet... it was very calming...

Breath, Count, Breath, nothing else but the soft breathing and her warmth... it felt an eternity before he felt calm enough to speak again.

" Why... does all of this... feel better when i'm with you? Why does it all make more sense... i don't... i don't know why i feel this way.... i just... i just want things to make sense again... "

He took a deep breath and let his eyes open and focus on hers.

" tell me... what is this feeling... what emotion is this..."

#She is Thunder and Lightning #Surge #He is A sorrowful Monsoon #Kitsunami #Hammers and Hearts #Adam #Sweetest of Bees #Charmette #//sorry this took so long Dx

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resident-gay-bitch · 28 days ago

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Steve’s always a little insecure in his relationships, always worries that they’re only in it for a short while, that all their promises are just words, no truth behind them.

He’s two months into his relationship with Eddie, and Steve’s already very in love with him, and it’s terrifying. This is the most in love Steve has ever been.

They said it for the first time the other day, during a super romantic and cosy night of Chinese takeout and nostalgic kids movies, snuggled up on the couch with never ending kisses. They had sex that night too, for the first time.

They had fooled around only a couple of times before that, nothing too serious, and only twice, since Eddie’s Demisexual. Steve didn’t know that waiting was exactly what he needed, assurance that Eddie wasn’t just there for his body.

After that night he feels even more connected to Eddie, feels the love radiating from his goofy smile and his puppy dog eyes. And the way Eddie kissed him, the way Eddie touched him, it was unforgettable. Genuine electricity. Steve had never felt so special and precious in his life, never felt so loved.

He’s still got his insecurities though, now that they’ve stepped up their relationship, Steve’s gotten a lot more comfortable, shown the secret side of him, the side that only Robin knows about really. He’s worried, like all the rest of them, that Eddie won’t like him anymore, that he’ll leave.

Robin tells him he’s being negative and stupid, Eddie’s totally the one, she can feel it!!

Steve wants to feel it, thinks the tips of his fingers are buzzing from it, but he just won’t let himself. Not yet. Not until he knows for sure.

They’re on FaceTime, having dinner together because Eddie’s gone away for a few nights with his band for a gig, and they miss eachother. Eddie called him, no prompting needed, and when Steve answered he said: “Stevie, baby, oh my god I missed you— hey fuckin, Jeff!! Look at my boyfriend, how hot is he? I got a cute ass boyfriend, wow, I feel so much better now I get to talk to you again. How are you, sweetheart? I hope you’re okay.”

Steve’s heart fucking bloomed. He feels nauseous he’s so fucking in love.

“What are you doing, Ed’s? You keep looking away from me.”

“I know, a total crime, don’t hate me. I’d much rather look at you, baby— hey shut up, Jeff, let me be in love!” Eddie yelled, tossing a pen at his bandmate across the room, “Sorry, Stevie. Uh, I’m doing some research for some songs I’m writing, making sure I’m not gonna fucking accidentally steal someone’s copyrighted track. Boring stuff, legal stuff, what are you doing?”

“Not much, missing you.”

Eddie chuckles, “God, I miss you too. Want me to come over when I get home? I’d invite you to mine, but these guys always get grouchy after a long drive home and our unit would probably just depress you.”

“Yeah, please.” Steve smiled sweetly, picking at his dinner. They fall into silence for a while, Eddie deep in concentration, his eyebrows furrowed and his tongue poking out over his top lip as he types away on his laptop.

Steve’s got this question gnawing at him. One of those dumb fucking questions that he shouldn’t ask, because it’s stupid. The kind of question that if he asks too many of them, his parter will get pissed off and leave, or yell at him to stop. He’s already asked Eddie one weird question, but it wasn’t even that weird, it still got a strange reaction from Eddie though. Steve didn’t take it as a good one.

Fuck, he can’t help it though, it just starts coming out of his mouth before he can really stop it, “Hey, uh, Eddie…?”

“Yah, light of my life?” He laughs to himself, isn’t looking at the camera so he can’t see Steve begin to blush, thankfully.

“If you became a rich and famous rockstar, would you leave me behind? Be honest.” Steve nodded, “I can take it-“

“Of course not, Stevie.” Eddie said, still looking at his laptop screen, it seems like he barely even thinks about the answer, “Why would I do that?”

“If you were famous, you’d have other options.”

“Yeah, but I have you. Would you leave me, if you got famous?”

“No.” Steve snickers, like it’s obvious. Because it is, because Steve’s attached to Eddie, obviously, Steve loves Eddie more than Eddie loves Steve, probably.

“See, so why would I?” Eddie says simply, a small smile on his face as he looks at Steve like he’s being goofy and weird.

Steve should just shut his mouth before Eddie starts to hate him, but he just can’t, “Well, there are better options for famous people.”

“Not for me.” Eddie says simply, and it kills Steve, genuinely, a fucking stake through the heart in the best kind of way.

“What if you were on a red carpet, and… uh… oh, what if Hugh Jackman hit on you? Would you chose him over me?”

Eddie laughed, “Look, Hugh is hot, but he’s not as hot as you. Have you seen your ass, Stevie?”

Steve flustered, “We- Uh, what about like, Dave from Foo Fighters? He’s really hot.”

“Not my type at all, besides he’s a cheater so ew.”

“Okay…” Steve wonders, “Megan Fox?”

“Gorgeous! But I don’t swing that way.”

“Right, yeah, of course.” Steve sighed, “Oh, you really like Robert Irwin, right?”

Eddie laughed, looked over at Steve on his phone and smiled sweetly, rubbed a hand over his mouth, “Yeah, I like him, he’s cute. Wanna know why?”

Suddenly, Steve feels very jealous. It must show on his face too because Eddie snickers at him, “Uh, why?”

“Because he reminds me of you, dork.”

“What? How?” Steve is baffled.

“He’s cute, I like your little blonde highlights and he’s blonde. And he’s fit like you I guess. But mostly because he’s like, just a good looking chill out dude until you hear him talk, then you realise he’s a huge massive super ultra dork and you can’t help but want to know more about him.” Eddie smiled, turned back to his laptop and Steve watched him scroll through a document through the reflection of his glasses, “If Robert Irwin ever hit on me I’d be flattered as fuck. But I’d kindly reject him, and tell him I’ve got my own dork at home who prepared me for such a moment, by asking stupid questions like would you ever leave me— no Steve. I wouldn’t. Duh. You’re too good of a kisser.”

Steve laughed, let himself feel flustered for a while. Satisfied that he let himself be just the right amount of clingy to let Eddie know that he’s kinda like that, but not too clingy that he scared Eddie away.

“Would you take me with you then? When you’re rich and famous?”

“Oh, you know it baby.” Eddie grinned, “When I’m making millions, you’re quitting your goddamned job and travelling the world with me, and I’ll buy you whatever the fuck you want. I’ll be your full time sugar daddy no doubts about it, gorgeous.”

Steve loves this guy so much. “Yeah, sure, you can be my sugar daddy the day you figure out how to ask me how to touch your dick without stuttering and blushing and hiding in my neck about it.”

Eddie stuttered, clearly caught off guard as he began to choke on air. Steve could hear his friends in the room around Eddie begin to laugh and make fun of him. Steve laughed with him, because Eddie knows how Steve feels about that, he knows that Steve likes how shy Eddie got in bed.

Steve thinks it’s incredibly hot, a guy so confident and out there reduced to a stuttering mess the second he gets a “hot” guy in bed, as Eddie said.

Eddie’s friends begin to heckle and tease him for a bit, and Steve listens in silence as his boyfriend fights with the lot of them.

“Hey, Eddie?” Steve asks, once they’re calmed down and quiet again.

Eddie sighs, rolls his head away from his laptop and over to look at Steve, Steve hates this. Eddie smiles anyway, even though Steve is sure he’s faking it now, and says, “Yes, my love?”

He wants to take it back. He wants to shut his mouth.

“Never mind.” Steve shakes his head.

“No, my love. Ask me, go on. It was a follow up question to the whole fame thing, right?” Eddie shrugged, “I only sighed because you should know that how I feel isn’t something so easily raptured by a mere celebrity.”

“Oh…” Steve nodded, thought about that for a moment. Wondered if anyone else in his situation would have known that, maybe he’s just insecure, too insecure, Eddie’s bound to get annoyed by it. It seems like he already is. “I was just going to ask if you’d ever write a song about me?”

Eddie smiles, blushes, and it’s so sweet, “I already have, Stevie. Three.” He looks back at his laptop, groans and Steve sees in his glasses reflection that Eddie closes all the tabs he’s looking at in anger, “Yah, you’re so easy to write love songs about to be completely honest. But no, I’m not telling you anything about them. You’ll hear when they’re ready.”

Steve is over the moon, “Okay.”

Silence again. He watches Eddie open up a new application, Steve recognises as his music app thing. He makes demos and back tracks with it, which is cool. Eddie begins to play around with if a bit, and Steve listens to the noise and wonders what song Eddie’s trying to create.

He’s got that urge again. God, he’s so clingy. Steve can’t stand how clingy he is, no one can. It’s only a matter of time before Eddie’s telling him he’s too clingy and walking out the door.

He really can’t help himself. Maybe he’s just self destructive.

“Eddie, would you tell the world I was your boyfriend, if you get famous?”

“Yup.” Eddie nodded, “But they’d only know your name, and your face, and how much I love you. Don’t want you getting stalked by weirdos— you know, if I get famous enough that people want to stalk my boyfriend.”

Steve thinks that’s really sweet of him, especially since he had that rolling off the top of his tongue, no thinking time needed.

“Well… would you take me to all your A lister parties and events?”

“If there’s no plus one option, I’m not going sweetheart. Wouldn’t want you sitting at home, worried.”

“What would you do if a celebrity like… hmm, Eddie Van Halen hit on me?”

Eddie grinned, “Then I’d say you’re seeing ghosts, sunshine.”

“If he were alive, though?”

“Then… I’d think it’s awesome that we have something in common, you’re our type— oh! And then you’d get to say you were hit on by two guys named Eddie who played guitar super good.”

Steve laughed, “Would you introduce me to Sabrina Carpenter?”

“It would be the first thing I’d do.”

“Would you get jealous if she hit on me?”

“Oh yeah.” Eddie nodded, “I’m gay as fuck and I’d still take her out on a date, you know, she’s pretty. She’s like, the girl version of you. Anyway I’d be super jealous and heartbroken but I’d tell you to take your chance.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup.” He assured, “You will be hearing from me, I’ll be that crazy ex just waiting for you two to break up. I’d sabotage so bad, but I’d just want you to be happy. But I would hate if that was without me.”

Steve smiled, “Imagine if we were animals? Would you still fall in love with me if we were both little otters or something?”

“Yup, I’d be head otter heals for you.”

Steve laughed, “Dude, you’re so lame.”

“Don’t call me dude whist asking these clingy ass questions.” Eddie snickered out, and Steve shut up.

He swallowed. Stared hard at the camera and tried to surpress his sudden urge to cry.

“You get so fucking clingy sometimes.” Eddie muttered, quiet enough that his friends couldn’t hear him, “I genuinely didn’t think someone could get this clingy.”

Steve hates him.

He’s about to shut off the call when he sees something flash in Eddie’s glasses, squints to get a better look at whatever is on Eddie’s screen.

“Hey, uh, forgot to mention my uncle had this watch he thought you might like— cause I got one, but you don’t wear silver do you?”

“Nope, never.” Steve shook his head, bile rising in his throat, he can’t figure out what’s taken up all of Eddie’s attention, “Tell him thanks though.”

“Got it.” Eddie muttered to himself, pressed enter on his keyboard, and a webpage popped up with large images of golden band rings.

“What are you doing?” Steve wonders quietly.

“Huh? Oh, just mixing some music still, like I was before. Just trying to think up what I should do next.”

Steve is not that stupid. He knows Eddie’s lying. He’s lying so hard right now.

Eddie grabs his phone, pulls it close to his face so Steve can only see from his nose up, and he begins tapping away at his screen.

“Sorry, I’ll put you down in a sec, cutie, just checking something.”

With this closer angle, Steve can see very clearly what Eddie’s checking on his phone. He’s checking his bank account.

He’s checking his bank account, looking back at the web page of rings on his laptop, then pondering something in his head.

“Everything okay, Eddie?”

“Yup, just thinking up some lyric changes. Got them all written in my phone, I’ll put you down now.”

He’s such a liar, Steve’s just confused. And hurt.

“Why are you so quiet?” Eddie wondered, his phone back down on the table like it was before, eyes back on his laptop as he scrolls through rings, “Are you okay?”

“Yep.” Steve nodded.

Eddie sighed, “Hey, would you still love me if we were animals? You never answered back.” Eddie said, “What if I was an otter and you were a little fishy?”

Steve hesitates, “You’d probably eat me.”

“I’d eat you right now, Steve.” Eddie said flatly, then he ducked his head and whispered, “I miss the taste of you. I love kissing you- Hey, can I suck your dick sometime? Been thinkin’ about it.”

“Oh, now you’re brave enough to ask whilst you’re a million miles away and not even looking at me?”

“Yup.” Eddie snickered, froze for a moment with his brows furrowed, clicked on a ring and zoomed in on it, glanced between his laptop and Steve a few times. “Uh, sorry, what were we talking about?”

Steve can see the description of the ring he’s looking at. He can see, clear as day, the description reads (backwards): “Solar - Gold embossed engagement ring.”

Steve can’t believe this. Eddies looking at engagement rings. Is he looking at engagement rings?

“How much do you love me?” Steve asked, a vomit of words.

Eddie smiled, hung his head like he’s all embarrassed about it, “A lot, Stevie baby. A lot.” Eddie chuckled, “I can’t believe I get you all to myself. Not to be poetic or anything, but my life was a dark, empty night sky before I met you, and then suddenly my life was summer sun, gorgeous. You’re my sunshine, right?”

“Right.” Steve nodded, “I love when you call me that.” He squints at the reflection in Eddie’s glasses and can make out the pattern of the sun embossed on the ring.

“God, I miss you.” Eddie sighs, adds the ring to his shopping cart and keeps scrolling.

Jeff walks behind Eddie on his way out of the kitchen and stops in his tracks, walks over.

“Just working on that song, look good?” Eddie asks, and Jeff leans down on his shoulder, “I think if I add this in, this take could be the one. What do you think? Or do you think I’m being too stupid? Is it too soon for that big moment?”

Oh, fuck, he’s really looking at engagement rings.

Jeff smiles, squeezes Eddie’s shoulder encouragingly, “I mean, yeah, in theory. But you’ve never done anything by the book, and all your best choices have been a little crazy like that. If you feel it’s the right choice, and will work well with the music, then yeah, by all means.”

Eddie gins, looks back at Steve, “Yeah, it’s definitely the right choice.”

Jeff snickers, wonders off shaking his head, and Eddie looks so giddy as he takes one last look at the ring.

Eddie’s thinking about proposing to Steve.

“Don’t you think I’m clingy?” Steve blurted out, catching Eddie completely off guard.

Eddie glanced at him, sighed, carefully shut his laptop and set his attention on Steve, “Well, yeah? You are clingy.” Eddie shrugged, “Dude, you don’t understand how lucky I feel, I think. I like that. I mean, you love me so much that you wanna cling to me like a fucking koala. I’m surprised you haven’t gotten bored of me yet.”

Oh.

Oh, Steve feels so warm and fuzzy inside.

“I love you so much.” He mumbles, brings the phone close to his face to virtually kiss Eddie, “Do you want to move in with me?”

“What?” Eddie stuttered out, “Uh, are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious in this conversation and also about this relationship. About you.”

“Fuck.” Eddie sighed, laughed a little delirious, “Yeah, yes, I do. I’d love that, sunshine.”

“When you get back then. Just… just come over and don’t leave.” Steve nodded, “We can talk more then, about us, and everything. I just want you around me always.”

“God, Stevie, you don’t know how much I feel that in my heart.” Eddie said, two hands pressed over his heart to swoon a little.

Steve doesn’t tell him that he knows of Eddie’s plans, and five months later, when the special day comes, Steve doesn’t tell him that he’s already seen the ring. Though, he does mention it in his vowels, tells everyone watching just how much harder that evening made Steve fall in love with Eddie. That he couldn’t believe someone was falling so hard, so fast, just as he was.

Steve never doubted another relationship again, purely because his only relationship from then on was with Eddie.

He’d never felt as secure as he does with Eddie, since that night, never second guessed his intentions, never doubted their love.

They’re mutually head otter heals for each other. Robin was right, Eddie is the one.